#I CANT DO IT. I CANT READ THE LATTER HALF OF PART 1

[tragicomedys]

im the kind of person who goes back to reread/rewatch stuff i really loved especially if it's easy to do so for me (like if it's a comic) but i still have not once went back to reread chainsaw not even to find specific panels or anything i jnust wont do it.

[popponn]

idk if you accept requests but i badly want to read the blue lock boys with the orange peel theory going around on tiktok 🥹

notes: anon, i was in a slump and then you come with this, please know i cant get it out of my mine for 2 whole nights. so, please have this, i hope u will enjoy it & your fave is there. also shoutout to @doobea for helping me with rin & barou esp <3 aso for standing my yappings. warning: none, post canon au in mind, reader's gender unspecified.

character: isagi, kaiser, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, rin, sae, barou + bonus

isagi

sweet boy will do it with a smile. is not the tidiest but you can now eat your orange while sharing with him. has a vibe that he is sort of used to doing this somehow. a total win still. if you do the same for him he will get flustered. also asking this is one of the quickest ways to get mr. egoist switches to mr. sweetheart boyfriend.

“Eh, why are peeling one too? I already… for me…?…I, uh—I see. Thanks… I—I am… give me a second.”

kaiser

you are the one who will peel for him—unless you throw a fuss and give him a silent treatment because this guy's pride is no joke. he can, he just doesn't want to. but to appease you and gain back his rightful spoiling, he will. afterward, at least, he learns his lesson and when you are about to peel one yourself, will take it and peel it beautifully for you like a second nature.

“…the fuck are you staring at? Just take it. You are about to eat it anyway, right? Then what's the big deal?”

bachira

yes, he will no question asked but is it worth it. probably will make a mess out of his energy. you will be laughing along with him somehow though so it is worth it. having the sunshine doing anything in front of you is a guaranteed smile-inducing routine. as for the orange, please do switch to other alternatives, for example: kisses, as suggested by him.

“Isn't this better than orange? Huum, huum! More healthy, sweeter too, right? Another one?”

chigiri

depending on his mood, you will either get a very cute orange peel or a half-peeled orange (at best) you have to finish peeling yourself. on the former, you get a smug bf who will feed you like it's a pocky stick. on the latter, you better be the one feeding him while hugging and cuddling him. multitask somehow. also, give him kisses because he is called a ‘princess’ for a reason.

“Ah, being in your arms being fed like this… yeah, yeah. I know don't worry. I will repay the favor.”

nagi

realistically, you will be the one peeling it for him and forcing him to eat one. because why would he even touch one? he is too lazy for that, nothing personal. but, let's say he really, really loves you: he still won't, he will just give you orange-flavored jelly in replacement. it does come from a place of love though, he genuinely thinks it's less troublesome to eat and, hence: better.

“Eating that is troublesome. It taste the same too. We can also do it while kissing. Mouth to mouth. Better right?”

reo

normally, will get a servant to peel it for you and him. though: can he do it? will he do it if it must be him? no question asked, absolutely will, all while chatting and staring at you with so much love. totally mr. k-drama male lead. you and your premium orange are in good hands.

“Oh, man, you are sometimes really …huh? Nah, I mean, I like doing this. It's just now I feel like I have to do this every time, so… yeah.”

rin

the first time, he will click his tongue and mess up. he will crush the orange. better never speak of it again, just know he loves you wholly despite everything. then a week passes and suddenly you will get a professional competitive orange peeler part-timer. without asking. just eat your orange. unless you are sick of it or it makes you actually sick.

“Did the orange taste good? … good. Nothing. You just look… nevermind. Do you want another one?”

sae

will he or will you. realistically, no? there are two possible reasons: 1) he can't. his whole stat is in soccer. 2) “you can't?” aka is it worth it getting judged by him. in case #2 though, just act cute and aim for his soft spot for you, he will fold and peel it with you pressed to his arm. he will grumble or glare but that's just itoshi-esque tsundere.

“You can't do something like this yourself? This will be the only time I’m doing this… Also who told you to move away?”

barou

our king. will peel the skin and the white fiber for you. tidy peels and if you know your way around his heart—you do just smile or blink and he is gone—he will also feed you. 10/10 execution no notes. probably will do this in kotatsu, dinner tables, and other domestic settings that are not bed while being a tsundere.

“I’m doing this just so you don't make a mess, got it? Also, scoot closer, your leg is kicking me—what do you mean I’m lying?!”

bonus

kunigami will, both before and after wc because you are his world. the difference would be in his expression only and there is that because his love for you would never change. shidou will but genuinely, please just peel it yourself. aiku will, not without teasing you though. gagamaru will either will or teach you how to eat the skin too. zantetsu wants to do it, but it will be really messy so please just don't. hiori will do it like a sweet boy, but if he is in his sadistic mood he will tease you for a bit before finally feeding you.

[libras-interactives]

I cant remember if this was from a week or more ago, but someone asked stuff about some characters and I responded privately. I'll toss most of what I said here for anyone whose curious :3

1) Jack has sun sensitivity in general (but especially with his eyes) and is mildly near-sighted, which he thinks is normal and hasn't thought about much.

2) Máire likes reading, singing and playing music - the latter two she always preferred to do in private, but now it's half her job, so she doesn't enjoy it as much. She usually reads multiple newspapers and history books, but thinks the (still newish?) science fiction genre is really weird and cool. She prefers femme over masculine people, because she's sick of awful male clients.

3) Máire finds Malwina exhausting and naive. Alas, Malwina follows her around bc Máire is one of the few people to actually tolerate her, or even be nice (Lottie is as well but has her own social life that doesn't include a teen girl, and Polly/Paulie doesn't live at the La Lune). Malwina gets to sit in on the tarot readings because she's actually interested and doesn't make fun of it.

4) Lottie, Máire, Malwina and Louisa-Faye have the best voices and therefore perform the most. It helps that they're some of the prettiest of the girls, too. Louisa-Faye is arguably the stand out and most popular of the La Lune.

5) Little Lottie often wrings her hands around things, like a dress hem, her blanket, her tail, etc. Not enough to hurt but enough to get tension out or contain her excitement. I think bouncing on her heels and bopping is something she'd do if she were more comfortable with the MC. Wringing clothes or her tail is something she can do without being noticed and snapped at. Lottie gently asks her not to do it because she'll ruin her clothes or hurt herself, but LL is so used to being treated poorly that even that gentle admonishment upsets her. So Lottie began handing her towels and handkerchiefs to wring. LL tries to do it privately to avoid admonishment or mockery from anyone.

6) One of Little Lottie's special interests is historical fiction; specifically Victorian England, not that the little girl can put words to her passion or understand why it effects her. Part of the reason is bc thats the setting of the one book she has (A Little Princess), but it also because it seems so fantastical. Horse drawn carriages, fancy dresses, strict social "rules" and hierarchies to decipher. I think she'd go nuts for medieval history too. It helps that Lottie embellishes some of this history because she doesn't fully know it either, but she wants to tell the kid a story. If Little Lottie had access to better schooling and a library she'd inhale books. I think books focused on the countryside and farm animals would also seem like a fantastical world to a city girl.

[internalsealpanic]

Lesson Learned

summary: Pinning exercises are a lot easier when you ask nicely.

a/n: The backstory to this piece was that I went to the church part of our discord server and told people about me being thirsty about Slade and they collectively went: DO HIM. The reader does have a backstory which boils down to rich girl from a crime family is a little shit because I thought this would have a funny dynamic with Slade.  Special thanks to @batarella and @knightfall05x for proof reading and giving me ideas. Would this count as my one entry for kinktober? 

warnings:  This is straight up smut. Please read responsibly. Brat taming, strength kink, daddy kink, orgasm denial, and hinted size kink. (Hilariously half of these were by complete accident.) There is some injury mentioned but not too graphically. Both characters are assholes.   

masterlist

Slade was on the ground, his head was swimming even as the sharp shriek of sirens rang loud in his ears. His senses were at once too sharp and too unfocused. Whatever drug he'd been hit with had to have targeted the nerves in his muscles too. He couldn't move. Not substantially anyway. Not in a way that would actually help him.  Through the haze he hears the clicking of heels against the floor, then a sharp pain shoots through him when said heel dug into one of his still closing bullet wounds. 

 You stood above him, your shark's smile hidden behind your mask.  "Well old man, I didn't think you would be caught this easy. I might need to rethink this meeting." You hummed tapping your chin as you lean down your heel digging further into his flesh. It's a tactic your sister had taught you. People were less inclined to think clearly when in excruciating pain.  If Deathstroke was this easy to capture, was he really worth your money? 

 He was watching you, blue eyes looking defiant. You whistled low. You liked a hard negotiation. It kept things more interesting. The rapid footsteps of men drew you out of your contemplation much to your annoyance. You debated on just paying them to go away. It would make your life easier but there's a chance these men were truly loyal to the man you had just paid a visit to.

 You weigh your options. His reputation may be enough to keep your siblings away. Maybe just long enough 'til their petty little war is over. "I'm going to hire you-"

 "-this assumes I'm going to say yes"

 You snorted. He noted the confident roll in your shoulders, the kind of cocky self-assured gesture of someone who knows they're going to win.  Every movement, every angling of your form deliberately used to show a difference in power and lack of respect. In short, it made you very punchable.

 "Your statement assumes you have a choice." You chuckled tilting your head to the side in challenge. He scowled at you and you try to keep the sheer delight you feel out of your body language. You weren't sadistic by any means but for one, brutality was practically bred into you, and two, you are, what your darling eldest brother had so kindly put, a  little bitch.  "I'll tell you why you'll say yes to my proposal." You said stepping off of him and pirouetting towards your duffle bag. "One, I'm offering your more than a million dollars in cash for the simple job of training me-" You observed his face as it remains carefully impassive. You expected as much. You heft your bag into your arms and unzip it rummaging through the cache of weapons you had stored just in case plan A through F failed you. "Unless we're associated, I'm the only one walking out of here with any money for their troubles." You said tossing the severed head of his target in front of him. You gave him an all too pleased grin. 

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 You find yourself pinned down again in the span of 15 minutes, face squished against the training mat, your arms pinned behind you, and most annoyingly your ass raised while your bastard of an instructor laughs in your ear, his lips dangerously close to your ear. You hiss and bristle feeling the fibers in your muscles burn from the uncomfortable angle they've been forced into.  You squirm trying to buck him off but his strength rendered your efforts moot. His enhanced strength keeps your body firmly between the sweat-covered mat and his large, toned body which just made you bite your lip to keep anything vulgar from escaping you. 

 You were 110% sure he was fucking with you at this point but any smart remark you had was either smothered by the mat or died whenever you felt acutely aware of your skin against his.  

 "Get off of me, old man," You snarl, making a futile attempt to kick him off with one of your legs. He chuckles at your weak attempts, the reverberations from his chest pressing against your back sending a thrum of excitement rolling over you concentrating into more distracting areas. You can't see it but you know he's grinning smugly above you and you can't decide whether it's your horniness or your anger that will win out. You sincerely hope it's the latter. 

 "C'mon, kid, you can get out of this," He encourages but you don't miss the playful mockery dancing in his tone. You squirm and wriggle and sigh. "Just let me out," You demand, politely. He doesn't budge. You turn your head to pout petulantly at him. That doesn't do anything either. 

 You sigh again. You hated pinning exercises with a carefully cultivated passion which you would normally direct at whatever instructor was dumb enough to force it upon you. However, that wasn't really possible as of this moment. One of the reasons for this hatred was that you were never pinned down unless you wanted to be, even then they were usually too hesitant to follow through so you never really saw any practical use for the skill. That is until last week when you found yourself being pinned down by the Red Hood which was honestly a fantastic position if you weren't trying to get away from him. Apparently, the large man didn't take too kindly to being shot at even when your very professional self explained that you were in fact a decoy. After you were entirely unable to slip his hold, you begrudgingly agreed to let Slade teach you a few maneuvers. The other reason was that you liked being pinned down. Your body is far too enthusiastic about the feeling of being pinned down. You're pretty sure you've expended more energy into suppressing your thrilled shivers than you have trying to get out of any of the holds he's demonstrated so far.  The fact that he was an attractive asshole with no shirt did not help.    

 "Maybe if you ask nicely, princess" He drawls his teeth grazing your ear, beard bristling against the sensitive skin of your shoulder. You bite back a groan and stop the cant of your hips. "Or are you even capable of that?"

 "I am, sir" You grind out but it sounds too breathy to be threatening. You feel the curve of his lips against your shoulder.

 "Dunno, brat, I've never seen you do it," He taunts pressing closer to you. You're suddenly aware of just how close you two are. You hate how the way he called you brat sent thrills up your spine. You try to even your breath but you're entirely too feverish both body and mind. You had to think of something before you were lost in a haze.

 You nudge your arm one last time before an idea strikes. A familiar shark-like grin spreads like wildfire across your features. Pressing your ass against his crotch, you roll your hips, the movement slow and deliberate and painfully tempting. Sure, it was a dirty trick but 1) he never said anything about using your assets 2) you've been wanting to do that since the first hold. You feel his muscles tense and you can't help but radiate smugness.  Your smile vanishes, however, when he rolls his hips against yours giving you a feel of his hardened length through the thin fabric of your gym shorts. The slow, tantalizing friction against your core draws out a vulgar moan from you. 

 "Do you wanna run that by me again, brat?" He whispers low and husky emphasizing the last word with another grind of his hip. You pant, hips answering back with their own desperate movement. You want to let your hips keep moving, to make him move, to feel his cock against your core but pride flared in your chest. "Make me." You bite out. "I really should teach you some manners."You feel the low rumble of his answer in response seemingly amused by your continued resistance. He rocks his hips against yours drawing out another breathy moan from you. Out of spite you bite your bottom lip and rock your hips in tandem with his. What did you hope to accomplish from this? You don't know but it certainly felt good. Your skin feels hot and oversensitive as your bodies continue to move at this rhythm. The feel of his muscles rippling against you makes you arch your back. You wanted more but you had too much pride. As if spurred on by the movement, he presses a kiss on your shoulder and sucks at your flesh, a rough hand grips your waist tight enough to bruise. "Slade!" You choke out losing your composure.  The cry sounds more like a plea than you would like. You sound so small and needy beneath his ministrations. 

 Distilling your anger into your weakening limbs you try to buck him off again. You make a small noise of triumph when he budges but whine when his grip on you just gets tighter. "Not quite, princess,"  

 He flips you onto your back. A hand pins both your arms above your head as he situates himself between your legs. His lips capture yours in a rough kiss, the type where you feel two bodies fighting each other for dominance. His teeth bite lightly against your bottom lip asking for entrance. You open your lips less in concession and more of a challenge. The wet muscles of your tongues entangle. Your nose is filled with the musk of him. It was overwhelming. You moan into the kiss and you feel him smile into it. Another small victory. 

 Slade ends the kiss having undeniably won the match. You try to move your hand to punch the grin off his face but again your hands don't budge. You curse his enhanced strength halfheartedly as the feeling of the heat coiling in the pit of your stomach takes over. Instead of diving back in for another kiss as you expected, Slade trails kisses down your jawline, your throat, and your collar bone leaving very defined very visible hickeys. There was something oddly possessive in his actions.  The look in his eye was predatory. 

 You, foolishly, let your attention wander to your hands seeing what angle you could possibly force them into so you can slip his grip and maybe turn the tables. Your attention snaps back to him when the pressure around your chest loosens and the distinct sound of a zipper fills your ears. Your eyes widen as you watch as he unzips the front of your sports bra with his teeth. Your breath catches even as your chest fills with the lack of constriction. Your too hot skin is grazed by the training room's cold air. He places a kiss in the valley between your breasts but when you whimper and move slightly urging him to proceed. He moves on to your stomach. "Asshat" You seethe through gritted teeth. You let out a groan of frustration. You were going to kill him. You honestly don't care if you've just wasted half a billion dollars on this asshole. 

 His kisses drift down to your inner thigh drawing a moan from you. Slade chuckles seeing your desire seeping through the thin fabric of your shorts. He isn't entirely surprised considering how unsubtle you are about your interest. A rare moment of embarrassment blankets you. Your legs try to close but rough hands pry them apart placing them on his broad shoulders. You bite your lip when he plants a kiss on your inner thigh. Your lips are puffy and red at this point, looking delicious as you panted. Slade wonders how your lips would feel around his cock but he decides he'll save that for another time. He hooks his fingers on the waistband of your shorts and his eye widens momentarily when he doesn't feel a second layer of fabric underneath it. He looks at you incredulously.

 You shrug trying to keep the mischief off your face looking absolutely unapologetic. "It's laundry day-" You shrug a little amused that this is the detail that caught him off guard. "-I did tell you I had stuff to do~"He also supposedly had stuff to do but, apparently, you were stuff. He chuckled and without dignifying your comment with an actual response, he rips your shorts off with ease and tosses them somewhere behind him.  A complaint or a threat, you weren't entirely sure, died on your lips when his tongue gave your core a nice long lick. A loud, needy keen escapes you. Your hands now free from his grasp dig into his scalp.  Pleased with your reaction he continues. His skilled tongue exploring your core hitting spots you didn't even know were there. Your hips meet to match his pace as he fucks you with his tongue. You whine when he withdraws his tongue but mewl loud and wanton when you feel two rough fingers stretching your insides. His mouth latches onto your sensitive bud, fingers pumping in and out.  You throw your head back not being able to contain your moans.

 "Look at me, brat," The command is deep and resonant. Your whole body buzzes with excitement. Slade can see your eyes dilate as his voice drops an octave. 

 "Yes," Your breath hitches when he doesn't move. "Sir" You add as a concession hoping it was enough. You felt your pride waning from the small piece of power being given away. Thankfully, he rewards you with another long lick before you can dwell on it. Slade watches as your face twists in pleasure trying your best not to throw your head back. You see the smugness on his face even when half of his face is buried between your legs. You don't attempt a threat simply because you don't trust whatever comes out of your mouth to be coherent. You were so close. You rock your hips trying to chase your high. Your skin is flush and glistening with sweat. You were so close. He feels your walls tightening around his fingers. Another needy keen escapes you as you were about to tip over the edge. 

 The motherfucker pulls back. You snarl at him but it comes out sounding more like a needy croon than anything else. He chuckles at you even as he captures your lips for another kiss. His tongue is thick with the taste of you. Your hand tangles itself into his hair while the other tugs at the waistband of his sweatpants.  He pulls away giving your lips one last nip before his body is off of you. It's funny how just moments ago you wanted him off of you badly enough that you'd play any dirty trick you could think of but now your skin is burning for his touch.  He takes off his sweat pants and his engorged cock slaps against his abs. It takes every brain cell at your disposal not to drool at the sight of it. He was BIG. You wonder briefly if he would even fit.  

 He spits on his cock rubbing his head against your thoroughly soaked folds. You mewl. A playful look in his eye does not go unnoticed but you were far too preoccupied with other concerns. Thankfully, so did he. Slade eases into your pussy in slow shallow thrusts. You can physically feel your walls stretching inch by inch as he works his way into your tight pussy. He can feel every bit of resistance your pussy is putting up. It's his turn to hiss when he finally bottoms out. Your walls cling to his member trying to milk it for all its worth. You drag your nails down from his shoulder to his arms. You pout when his skin heals immediately. You wanted to mark him as he did you but apparently, his healing factor was not up to being kinky today.   

 He laughs at your little protest and gives you a quick kiss. He begins to thrust shallow and languid. Your lips are locked in, sensually nibbling at each other's lips. You arch your back pressing your chest against his musculature savoring every bit of stimulation you could get.   You cant your hips against his urging him to go faster. His large hand grips your hips and pins them down. The coil in your stomach grows tighter at the ease at which he stops you. You feel him grin against your hot skin. 

 "Didn't I say I would teach you some manners?" He pulls himself out leaving you feeling hollow and wanting. You're pretty sure if you weren't drunk on your arousal the look in your eyes would be nothing short of murder, however, this was not the case, Whatever venom you had in you vanished in a swirl of neediness that racked your body. Your cant your hips uselessly trying to find friction only to be met with cool air. 

 "Slade pleeeeaaase!"

 You gasp, as a sharp stinging sensation on your pussy knocks the breath out of you. Slade gives you an expectant look. 

 "Sir, plea-"

 Another slap. Your back arches.  You’re panting heavy, mind swirling and searching. 

 "Daddy please!" The words tumble from your lips thoughtlessly. You both freeze. Slade's face is unreadable making you want to shrink away and let the earth swallow you whole. Panic rises in your chest until you feel his hips slam against yours. The force is enough to knock the breath out of you. He manhandles your body to fuck you at a better angle. His grip on your thighs tight and bruising. You whimper when he dips his head down near yours pressing kisses to your jaw and the pulsating flesh of your neck leaving your mouth free to moan his name like a mantra.   A deep resonant growl rumbles in his chest sending thrills through your skin into your spine. Your hardened nipples drag against his chest as they bounce with his pace. His cock pumps in and out of you at an animalistic pace. You were absolutely going mad over his rough pace but it wasn't enough to push you over. You were both so close.

 "Daddy, please! I- I need-" Slade's cock twitches. His pace goes from animalistic to punishing in the space of a heartbeat. He growls into your ear as he reaches down to rub your clit with skilled, calloused fingers. Your walls tighten around him as you go over the edge.  Your orgasm hits you in a flurry of heat and electricity. He fucks you through it as he chases his own. He pulls out his cock. Ropes of cum covering your chest and your stomach. 

 He lays beside you pulling you close. You moan quietly still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, planting an open-mouthed kiss. You ease into his hold and close your eyes. 

 "See how easy your life is when you're a good girl, princess," He whispers mockingly into your ear. You raise a middle finger at him too fucked out to care whether it actually conveyed as much venom as you wanted it to. 

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Thanks for reading! Next week will be our regularly scheduled fluff unless I get possessed by the thirst muses. 

tag list:  Tag list:  @batarella , @anothertimdrakestan , @lucy-roo , @multifandomgirl-us , @idkmanicantenglish ,@birdy-bat-writes ,  @boosyboo9206 , @americasmarauders , @l-horizondepeu , @arestorationofbalance  , @cloudie-skay , @knightfall05x

[bedtimebrain]

EXO KAI: Detective Gone Wrong P3

You can find the masterlist to the other parts on my bio/description!

Characters: JonginxYou

You came to know Jongin by accident, but have no clue he’s EXO’s Kai. And when you found out....

You walked away blankly, remaining in a daze until your phone started vibrating in your pocket.

It was your boss who called and anxiously asked if you could cover her shift from the afternoon as she forgot about her wedding anniversary dinner.

You gladly agreed, thinking it might be better to have something to occupy yourself with today. Otherwise you’re just going to be spending the day thinking about you and jongki.

Still sane enough to be in need for breakfast, you went by the convenience store to pick up a sandwich. Standing in front of the fridge, you paused to think

What does jongki want? Does he... like me ?

And he KISSED ME TOO?! That’s definitely something only couples do right?!

How did everything escalate so fast overnight ?!

‘Excuse me, are you getting anything? You’re standing in the way’

You must have stood there for quite a while, looking at the irritated face of the customer. Apologising, you just grabbed whatever sandwich there was on the shelf and left after paying.

Falling deep in thought and replaying what happened last night again, you opened your sandwich packaging and bit down on your sandwich  

EW! Egg Mayo!

You sighed. Feeling a little more miserable with wrong sandwich choice, you continued feeding on your thoughts on the way home.

You dive straight into your bed and hugged your big Coney plush the first thing you got back. You screamed into Coney like a lunatic and kicked the air violently with your legs.

Stupid jongki, who does he think he is. Ah yes, I secretly gave you a kiss, so what. IT WAS JUST A FRIENDLY KISS CAUSE YOU WERE CUTE.

BUT WHATS WITH KISSING ME ON THE LIPS AND WAKING UP TOGETHER LIKE ITS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL

What a flirt!! See y/n you were right. Rich, handsome guys, tsk. Bound to be bad.

You threw coney to the side and your phone came crashing down with it from your side table.

Groaning, you bend over your bed to pick it up, only to see a message from the dear boy you wanted out of your mind right now.

J:I’m heading out for work soon~ have a good day today��

Is that a kissy face?!

Oh goodness, you were so annoyed.

Kim Jongki, are you playing with me right now?? WE ARE NOT ATTACHED

.....

at least not yet (?)

Tossing the phone aside, you decided to take a shower. Afterall showers always work best for any occasion. You got up and spent a peaceful 20minutes running under hot water, clearing your thoughts. 

Though still feeling bothered, you were definitely more refreshed. Time check , it was about time for you to get changed and pick up lunch on the way to the store.

Dusting on some light make up, bunning up your hair, you changed into your working clothes. In 30 minutes you were out of the house.

On the bus ride to your working area, you were so torn between checking your phone and not to. You wanted to know if jongki texted you again, but you didn’t really want to deal with this situation.

Fiddling with your phone, you almost dropped it when it beeped to announce a message had arrived.

That’s a sign, I should look at it! Since it rang when I’m thinking whether I should

Excitedly you unlocked your phone and checked your notification, only to find that it was just a reminder message from your landlord to pay your rent.

Your heart literally dropped because you actually really wanted to receive a message from him. Just then your phone beeped again and this time it was from jongki!

J: y/n ah what’s for lunch today? I’m having kimchi stew. Texting because I thought about you who might be board having an off day today :p

Sigh, you can’t deny that boy is so cute and lovable. But you still weren’t ready to reply him. You wanted things to be clearer between both of you. While uncertainty in relationships can be the most heart fluttering period, you didn’t like being in that phase.

It wasn’t long before you reached your stop to alight. Not feeling particularly hungry yet, you stopped by street stalls along the way instead.

You arrived at your shop, feeling satisfied with the pajeon you just had. You almost forgot how therapeutic the scent of flowers were until you stepped in. The mixed floral scent of dew and freshness instantly released you from the troubled thoughts bugging you at the back of your head.

‘Unnie! I’m here! How could you forget your wedding anniversary , hahah. Have you bought a gift or something yet?’

‘Ah, y/n ah! My life saviour. No I haven’t bought anything! There’s just too many activities and occasions this month that I forgot about my own. Gosh’ she face palmed herself making you laugh

‘Then you better leave soon to get your gift! I’m here already anyway! I’ll just continue wrapping this bouquet you’re currently working on’

‘I’ll buy u a meal another day, sorry for calling you back on your off day~ oh right I’ve a parcel coming later, just open and let me know what’s inside. I ordered so many I can’t even remember what’s coming anymore.’ Removing her apron, she rushed off after saying googbye. 

Looking at the tasklist, it was going to be a busy day. 5 bouquets to finish and lots of prep for the workshop tomorrow. You immersed yourself in the wrapping right away. 

A few minutes later, your phone lighted up. It was a message from jongki.

J:yaaa, are you ignoring me deliberatelyy? do you want to come over again on sunday? 

You scoffed when you saw the message because your detective mind came to a conclusion that the latter question was just bait to get the answer to his first question. He was tempting you with a chance at his place that was a hit or miss if you don’t reply him. 

You put down the stalks of flowers you were still holding in your hands, you paused to form an appropriate reply. 

Text:

my lunch was great, and i cant go over on sunday, im going to my parent’s place 

You typed then deleted it, doesn’t sound about right, you remember telling him yesterday that you got a half day shift on sunday which you really hated.

Trying again,

i got called back at work 

Sounds fine? Should you send it like this? 

‘Delivery!’

Reacting in shock , you pressed the send button by accident at the voice of delivery man

ah shucks! 

You closed your eyes and hit yourself on the head imaginatively. Smiling at the delivery guy, you received the parcels and signed them off. 

One of it came in a tube, while the other was in a box.

What in the world did unnie order that would come in a tube? Wallpapers? Drawings??

The tube really piqued your curiosity, so you decided to check that first. opened it first.

Opening the tube, you pulled out a rolled piece of paper. Unrolling it, you noticed at the top right was a black and white logo that writes EXO Obsession. 

Ohhhh EXO!! Unnie likes exo?

Ever since you watched 100 days my prince, you had a positive inclination towards EXO. Which also reminded you of jongki who seems to like EXO Kai.

You wondered who was going to be in this poster. Not like you would recognise them though, you thought, unless its do kyungsoo ssi. 

A little excited, you pulled the poster open to full length.

Looking at the poster that stared back at you. Your smile faded away. Your jaw dropped.

‘Jongki oppa?’ you muttered under your breath

There was an uncanny resemblance between the man in the poster and jongki. 

 No way, who the hell is this from EXO? 

You turned the poster to the back hoping to find a name of the man in the picture. But there was no information.

Flipping back over, you looked closer at the other small details on the logo, you found this 3 lettered word staring back at you — ‘KAI’.

EXO KAI? Jongki watches his dance videos... or rather, Jongki also can dance ..

There were only two logical possibilities to this , either jongki has a twin or... kai is jongki..

You had to know the answer to this incredulous situation.

Making a grab for your phone, you saw jongki had already replied you , but you weren’t even going to read it

Madly typing away

Y: Oppa, do you have a twin ?

You could feel blood pumping through your veins as you sent it.

How could this be possible ? He mustn’t be exo right?

Although you weren’t interested in boy groups, there’s no one that hasn’t heard of EXO in the whole of korea. And that’s how popular EXO is.

Even though you have never checked them out to find out how they looked like, but you still knew a few names. Names like Baekhyun , chanyeol and.. kai..

Thinking of it now, it seems to all make sense that he could dance, he has abs, he’s rich, works till late, doesn’t reply all the time....

As you waited for his text to come back in, you googled EXO Kai.

Birth name: Kim Jong In

Birthday: 14 Jan 1994

Height: 1.82m

1994 was his birth year, that’s right. Kim Jong in, difference of 1 word. 1.82m, yes, obviously describes him. Google images ? 100% similarity.

If it’s not a twin....

Ding!

His msg came in

J: uh, no.. that was so random though, why? Saw someone looking like me?

You didn’t want to believe this. The friend you’ve been hanging with and even sleeping at his place.. is kai?

In the past, when you watched those cliche dramas you never understood why people made such a huge fuss when they found out their dating partner has a hidden identity.

Like isn’t it totally exciting and fun! Especially if the person turns out to be some rich CEO. Wow, your rags to riches story would come true over night.

That’s how you thought you would react.

But honestly, all you felt was some sense of betrayal right now.

Y: oppa, I think I just found out what you do...

you sent

Just in a few seconds, he replied

J:really?! What’s your wild Guess this time ?

Your hands were shaking as you prepared to type this. The moment you send this and he confirms it... what are you going to do ?

But still, this has to be done

Y: EXO Kai. Kim Jong In.

Again, he replied instantaneously

J:omg, took you long enough!! How did you find out though??!

Clearly not being able to sense the tension over the phone, he was, as usual, cheery about everything.

Y:so it’s true ? Why did you lie your name to me?

You had no idea why you felt so emotional to the brink of tears about this truth.

J: ah, I’m sorry for lying about that.. I was worried initially if I told you my real name you might make a connection and recognise me at the start.

He double texted as soon as you received that msg, saying

J: y/n, are you ok?

You typed

no I’m not. I don’t even know how I should be feeling now, or what I should be doing about our friendship.

But.. you didn’t send it. You switched your phone to do not disturb and kept it in your bag.

You stared blankly at the poster for a while before putting it back in the tube. You’re still in disbelief. This situation was ridiculous. But it was logical.

In a state of mental breakdown, you couldn’t even wrap your bouquets right. You switched over to prepping for the workshop tomorrow instead. But your mind was so preoccupied with the whole fiasco that you kept missing things out. You just wanted work to end and have the time to yourself.

The entire day went by in a mess, but at least it finally ended. Back at home, you scroll through the multiple texts he sent you

J: hmm, seems like you’re pretty shocked about this right?

J: I wanted to tell you but you said you preferred if I didn’t though..

Then there was also a missed call from him

J: Call me back?

You swiped away all his notifications. There is something you really want to do, but not really ready to. You contemplated

Should I? Search kai up ?

Typing into Google, you searched kai. It was strange, just 24 hours ago you guys were so close, almost like lovers. But right now, you’re searching him up and getting to know him like an unreachable stranger.

You tapped into one of those webpages that told fans his entire life story. From his blood type to who he has ever dated and all that small little things people conclude from what he has said.

Again, you felt a stab in your heart and sour inside. These were things you never knew about , but surely, everyone else but you knew. It was like... jongki wasnt jongki, this him is different, it feels so far and distant from the one you knew...

Pondering on that thought, you let out a bitter laugh. Jongki really wasnt jongki. He was never jongki.

Switching to YouTube , you click on ‘mmmh’ the first result when you searched kai. No matter how you tried to keep an open mind, you didn’t like it. His costume made him strange and the song really wasn’t your type.

Deciding that’s enough for the day, you put your phone aside and tried your best to fall asleep.

—-

Back at work the next day, you decided to get some ‘intel’ from your boss about kai.

‘Unnie, you like EXO Kai?’

‘Ne!!! Wae? Isn’t his visuals to die for???’ She reacted so excitedly upon hearing his name

‘Why don’t I remember you liking EXO though?’

‘I recently just got into them because of my friend who kept playing their songs on repeat in her car’ she laughed as she fixed the flowers

‘Why did you ask though? Since when were you interested in boy groups?’ She continued asking

‘Ah... When I checked the poster yesterday I thought kai was really good looking, so I’m just asking haha. So what’s so nice about kai you bought a poster?’ Finally asking what you really wanted to .

‘Oh gawd, you really wanna know? I could go on a whole day about jongin. Though he is sooooo fierce on stage , killer looks and everything, but he has such a cute personality!! You know when they ........’

And she went on and on about it, even showing you clips of kai on variety shows, interviews, etc. In these the sense of familiarity was back, you felt like this was the Jongki you knew. Oh well, it’s Jongin now, you really got to change it out.

You laughed along with your boss and you understood why he had so many fan girls. Introducing you to some EXO songs, you had to admit you really liked them!

Knowing more about kai now, you went back home that night and sat infront of your laptop, making a search for EXO’s variety shows, music videos and the likes.

You searched up ‘kai cute moments’ and you wanted to sqush him because he was just so cute like how he was normally. At the same time you can’t help but feel a little jealous that you’re sharing these sides of him with other people too.

You watched his dance videos and he was literally a dancing king. Thinking back to when he danced for you, you suddenly realised just how many girls would die to be in your place.

It was already 1am by the time you finished your search. A msg came in just as you were about to crash

J: are you up? I’m going to the convenience store to grab some food. Are you hungry? Want to come along?

Seeing his msg, you felt a little bad about ignoring him for the 2nd day now. How should you reply him now that the situation is a little awkward ?

Nicely, your phone died as you were thinking.

Alright, just a sign I should go to bed, oppa I’ll reply you after I get my phone charged up tmr.

——

You woke up to an absolutely crisis that you overslept. Considering how you didn’t sleep well for the past 2 nights over jongin, this was bound to come. You quickly washed up and left for work.

Plugging your phone into the portable battery, you phone came back to live. Again, jongin was persistent in his texts. 

J:y/n ah don’t ignore me please

J:Come over on sunday? 

J: I’m waiting for your reply. 

It was 1.30am when he asked you to come over on sunday, but his last message was past 3am. He must have been thinking about what happened with you.. You felt bad for being so absorbed in how you felt and failed to consider his feelings  when it really wasn’t his fault.

All this started out because of your dumb self who wanted to play detective. But then again, if you had found out who he was from the start, would you have gotten this close with him? Possibly not. You replied him without delay

 Y: i’ll come over on sunday

The shop gets really busy on saturdays, packed with workshops, tons of deliveries and online orders. You didn’t have time to check your phone till the end of the day, at which you saw you missed jongin’s call and texts again.

J: omg, you finally replied! is there anything you want to eat on tomorrow? i could get it if you’re coming over from work

J: we are all ok now right? 

Should you call him back? It wasn’t like you were completely okay yet, you couldn’t imagine how it would like seeing him tomorrow. He was surely still that jongki you knew, but he was also kai.

Thinking to leave the rest for tomorrow to think about, you just replied 

Y: there’s nothing i really want, just get whatever you like:)

Back at home, for the 3rd night in a row, you stayed up like a fan girl again, watching all of EXO ladders, their concert videos. You squealed and fangirled over them like a teenage girl. The more you watched, the more you started falling harder for them.

---

A halfday shift always makes your day go by real fast. You were standing outside jongin’s door. You were suddenly reminded of the times you watched 100 days my prince with him and talked about D.O. who he probably knows 1000x better than you do. And how you asked if he was a kai fan. Oh gawd, you wanted to jump into a hole. Feeling a little nervous and a little awkward and hella embarrassed, you didn’t want to press the door bell.

Finally pressing the door bell, you waited for barely half a minute, which felt like eternity before he opened the door. You could even feel your palms sweating. 

‘Annyeong Y/N! Come in quickly!’

You didn’t reply him immediately, neither did you move an inch yet.  The smile on his face slowly faded and he just looked at you, starting to chew on his lips. 

Seeing his face once again, in real life, your heart skipped a beat. You knew it wasn’t because he was kai, but because he was still jongki, that someone special to you.

You quickly smiled back at him the moment you got out of your thoughts. He let out the breath that he has been holding, making you laugh. 

‘Annyeong, jong..’ you paused there, about to call him jongki 

‘annyeong jongin oppa’ it sounds weird to you, not to be calling him the name you were used to

You guess he must have been feeling a little awkward when you called him by his real name too, he scratched his head and chuckled.

‘I ordered pizza, are you hungry? let’s eat’ he gestured for you to go to the dining area and was ready to walk away

But you felt you had to talk to him first about this, 

‘oppa, can we talk?’ 

He turned around to face you, he nodded slowly

‘sure..’

You walked over to him, leaving a comfortable space between the both of you. 

He avoided your eye contact as you started

‘so... EXO Kai huh?’

‘...y/n, i.. you should know i have no intentions to hide anything from you deliberately, i was ready to tell you anytime. but i also thought you would react in a ‘pleasant surprise’ way rather than a ‘nasty shock’ received, so i just let it be’

He looked at you with sincerity in his beautiful eyes which showed how bad he felt. But you honestly just wanted to clear the air and lighten up the mood

‘actually, I just wanted to tell you that... I became an EXOL!’

You exclaimed and laughed. His eyes widened and stared at you like you were out of your mind, before bursting into laughter too.

But his laughter soon turned to sobs, and he rubbed his eyes profusely, which got you stunned

‘I... I thought I messed up our friendship, our relationship. And I really missed you, I didn’t want our us to end like this.....’ he said in between sobs and almost sounded like he was wailing

‘We haven’t even started...! Y/N, you scared me when you didn’t even reply at all! I thought you didn’t want to contact me anymore!’ He give you a light push on your shoulder as he emotionally spilled out all his thoughts

Though you were really confused, it was heart wrenching to see him cry so hard. You quickly put your arms around his waist and have him a hug.

‘Oppa, I’m sorry for the past few days I ignored you. I was just trying to figure how to handle the weight of the truth that you’re EXO Kai. Hahah, I’m so confused at your reaction right now you know.’

Calming down, but still sounding nasal he said

‘I’m going to make you stay here today until I’m convinced that you don’t hate me for being kai.

Oh and that you won’t go MIA on me again if you found out some other kai stuff’

Breaking away from the hug, he grabbed onto your shoulders

‘Y/N I like you, I really like you, so don’t leave my life please’

His impromptu confession got you feeling shy, you didn’t know what to do , but merely nodded in response.

Feeling all bright again he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house.

You were glad it was as if nothing has changed, except that you probably became the luckiest fangirl alive just like this.

———

This fic went through so many content changes, I’m so glad I finished writing this! For those that waited for this part, I hope it wasn’t too underwhelming:,) feel like there’s definitely still a lot for me to work on as a new writer.

Also just dropping a note to say this would most probably be my last fic tell after may! Please check out of my other fics in the meantime too:) Hopefully I’ll be back with better writings !

[arlakos]

Why Season 3 was a Rollercoaster of a mess. (Spoilers!)

 Oh boy

Oooooooh boy where do I even begin

Lets start from the beginning i Suppose

When Miraculous Ladybug first came out i fell in love with the series. I thought the premise was nice, the characters ok and the story interesting. Well, to be fair I didnt expect much of the story due to being in its first season, but I loved it. The finale was meh (the last episode, not the mid-series Origins story, I watched it on Netflix). I liked the series. I loved the fandom. And i Couldn’t wait for season 2 at the time.

Then season 2 came out

As i started watching the first ep of season 2, it started out strong, answered a question i already knew, but then... it didn't go any further. See, when I expected season 2, I expected the story to be taken up a notch, the plot to become stronger, new and interesting characters to be introduced, and for someone to replace Hawkmoth as the antagonist (bc in my mind, he always felt like a season 1 antagonist to be replaced one season later by the actual main antagonist, and the mayura leaks did not help). 

But it never came. The story remained simple and eventually started to become bland. All episodes were all single-story eps with no correlation to each other other than the characters in them. Every single character in the show that wasnt Marinette had any sort of character growth, and I could take any one of the episodes out other than the first and last two and it wouldn't have any impact. Maybe not all of them, but some.

(This was the same time I learned that all episodes in the series were meant to always be single episode storylines. It was the same time I learned the the shows creator was also an ASS-truc, but thats a story for another day)

So for season 2, I ended up starting to find the show boring and lackluster. Most of the episodes were boring and unentertaining, and aside from a select few, such as the finale, the new hero eps and a few others, the entire season was boring to heck. 

Worse still, Marinette went from an ok nice girl (who was at times a bit of an arse) to a stalker asshole who was at times worse than Chloe. 

(Then again, the first episode of the entire series literally had Marinette have a planner used to track Adrien's every move, so what the hell do i know)

The fandom, however, was still amazing at the time, so I stuck around. The fanfics were amazing at the time and the fandom was still so kind-hearted

Luckily for me, Season 3 would manage to have some much better episodes.

But at what cost.

WHAT. COST.

See, while Season 3 was undoubtedly better that season 2 overall in episode quality, this season was probably also the worst of all 3 at the same time. This season was not only the worst in overall season quality but the one that entirely ruined the fandom for me. The plot was again non-existent and there was still no character development, but they manage to make this season better by making a plotline that required all characters to be an idiot ball, then ditch it at the end just so Thomas could again insult people on twitter.

Lets start with the first episode of Season 3: Chameleon

Sometime before the production of season 2 and 3, Asstruc learned how to write someone as a martyr people would feel pity for that character and want to protect (read: stan) them.

So naturally, Ass-truc would abuse this a lot.

In the first ep of season 3, Astruc would create the worst episode ever made. 

The premise of the episode is that Lila has returned to school and has been telling lies, which makes Marinette mad. None of the class believes her due to everyone being written as an idiot (seriously the someone gotta has google on their smartphones everyone has), so of course, Naturally Mari confronts Lila, who swears to ruin her life before and after an akuma battle which doesnt really matter for this episode, aside from the fact that Lila fully works with hawkmoth because being a bad kid means that working with a terrorist is perfectly reasonable if you can get revenge on the good guys.

So, including the fact Ass-truc reintroduced Lila back into the show as a Chloe 2.0 to making everyone an idiot ball so that the writing could even work, this will be the episode that I will hate the most. And not just for the episode itself. We’ll come to that later. But the point is, this is how most of the season would go:

-Lila: *exists*

-Marinette: *cries* im suffering so much, my life is ruined!

-Fans: stan to the point of insanity

-Me sipping my salt flavored tea: b*tch calm the f*ck down.

Speaking of Marinette, the Miraculous team had already been hellbent on making Marinette more of an asshole, stalkery and creepy and passing it off as cute in season 2, so they decided to fix that by dialing all that shit up to 11. Episodes like Weredad and Oni-chan really showed this, with the former having Marinette Literally manipulating Chat Noir to be stuck in a bad situation just for her own sake, and latter literally having her try to break into Adriens house because Lila is there. All for the excuse that Lila is a Liar and totally not because she is with Adrien, Marinette cant be jealous because Marinetteisperfectandamazingand-

Yeah, she really sucks as the main character. TBH I'm waiting for the spinoff show where Alix and Kim dare each other to do stupid stuff each episode like its MTV’s Jackass, it's gonna be fun.

Now onto the Other episodes!

While I will admit that compared to season 2, there were a lot of good episodes. Gamer 2.0, Feast, Ikari Gozen, Party Crasher, and of course the heart-wrenching Oblivio come to mind. These episodes are amazing and show how good the episodes are when you make sure the garden gnome is locked in a closet somewhere during episode development.

So out of the 26 episodes, 5 of them were really good.

The rest were either kinda ok or complete shit. That's not to say they were all bad, but there were just some parts... at best there was either a part of it I found cringeworthy too much for me to consider it as one of the good ones, such as Pupetteer 2 with its Adrien Statue scene, or at worst all of it was just written so badly, such as the entirety of Stormy Weather not actually being an episode and acutally being just and episode recap.

Now for the plot. Oh, wait, what plot?

First of all, Miraculous never had one. At best it was just a bunch of single-episode stories that Ass-truc wants you to think are connected somehow and somehow all work together as a cohesive story. A lot of the characters in Miraculous Ladybug

You mean the overarching storyline where Marinette becomes a Guardian just because she can pick a hero? Yeah, just ignore the episode where Fu said he had to spend an entire childhood learning how to even be an apprentice Guardian, or ignore the fact that picking a person to be a hero doesn't make Marinette qualified to be Guardian in a slightest!

(If someone literally has to ask me this, ask yourself if a pharmacist is fit to be a doctor just because they hand out your meds.)

What about the storylines about other certain characters in the show like Lila, who the show has been building up to be a villain while casually destroying characters' intelligence to be able to do so? The story about Chloe accepting that she can’t really be a hero anymore and moving on?

Ruined by the Finale.

Oh yeah, the finale.

This season Finale was probably the worst finale out of all the seasons and half the stuff done in the last two episodes did not make sense. I dont want to talk about it much because I want to do a blog post about it later on, but for the sake of the finale, they ruined a bunch of characters, martyred Marinette for the 100th time, and created some stupid plot ideas for the sake of coolness. And by coolness i mean stanning Marinette again and making her extra special. Doesnt matter if it makes a contradiction or makes no sense. Stupidity has won this episode!

To be fair though, all the reasons above aren’t the reasons I hate this season. 

No.

The reason for season 3 being the worst for me is how it had ruined the fandom.

Ever since the first episode of season 3, the fandom has become a cesspool of salt and anger. Character bashing because the class didn't straight up agree with Marinette instantly, Over the top Marinette stanning, fanfics that go over the top crazy, it has gone insane. On ao3 most fanfics of ML that i have seen have been about ‘Chameleon Fix-Its’ where Lila is metaphorically shot with a GAT, ‘Marinette protection Squads’ which basically involve her moving schools because Lila exists, and the Maribat ship that has made my head dent my desk (seriously where the fuck did it come from?!). Worst still, as a result of Season 3, the Adrien hate has started to go crazy as a result of the Chameleon episode and similar eps resulting in Marinette being shipped with Luka (aka the better Adrien as stated by Marinette stans), Felix before the Felix episode dropped, and even Damien Wayne in the Notorious Maribat ship (no seriously where did it come from i want answers!). To put it simple, thanks to Ass-truc all of ao3 is filled with salt fics and no more original and interesting stories.

BTW while i have your attention and am talking about good Miraculous stories on ao3, go read Miraculous Tales by JED1 on AO3 its soo damn good.

To be fair, I myself am angry at the episode, but only because everyone was written to be an idiot ball for the episode to work, and because of the fact Astruc used the episode to rile up the fandom to be almost as toxic as him.

If anything, its the number one reasons why i hate seasons 3 and the reason why it has ruined the fandom for me.

And that, overall, is why i think Season 3 was a Rollercoaster of a mess.

[magsgoestocollege]

Plans for 2020-2021 School Year

Long post ahead (something to help me process and decide my future)

If you’re new to this blog, hi, I’m Mags and I’m supposed to be a sophomore in college this year. Except my college experience got corona’d, obviously, so now we’re here.

A couple days ago, my school announced that first years and sophomores would be allowed back in the fall, and juniors and seniors would be allowed back in the spring if all goes well. The problem is I have no fucking clue what I want to do. I go to a small liberal arts college where the experience is heavily rooted in the people there. Our classes and houses are small, and we value the community above most things. With only half the campus back, and with the first years who have never been here before and us the sophomores who only got like 2/3s of a year on campus. We have no clue what we’re doing.

My class can’t be responsible for educating and helping an entire batch of new kids adjust to college life when we aren’t fully adjusted ourselves. Campus and house and club traditions are so important to our cschool culture and my class has no clue how to do them. That being said I am always Mom Friend(TM) and will absolutely take any and all first years under my wing if I go back to campus because I was super lonely last year and I don’t want anyone to feel that way again. (Check out #the dark side of college tag if you wan’t to read about that.) But the thing is... I don’t know if I want to go back to school this year.

Do I really want to go spend a year and thousands of dollars on a college experience I don’t really want? Do I want to be in a place that’s now structured like a prison for three-ish months only to be send home at the end to keep doing online classes? Do I want to be at a school where I cant see my friends? Do I want to be at a school without my upperclassmen friends who I care about and were so influential to my experience?

With only first-years on campus (and some sophomore friends), I’d end up essentially having to start my social life from scratch again. I don’t know if I can handle that. Even if COVID is a major bonding item for the whole campus. It comes down to would I rather take time off and hope things get better and we get a vaccine, or do I want to go and be on campus for a few months and be part of a historical event that metaphorically unites the school while literally dividing us.

Here are my options:

1) Go to school in the fall, be online for a month after Thanksgiving, and do my whole spring semester online (or maybe possibly in person if things get much better.)

2) Go to school in the fall semester and take the spring semester off.

3) Study remotely but not from home.

4) Take a full year off and come back 2021-2022 with hopefully a vaccine and a more normal college experience with the things I love.

4a) Take a year off and still live at home with my parents.

4b) Take a year off and move in with friends somewhere else.

Let’s break these down, shall we? (God I don’t want to.)

Option 1. Go to school in the fall. This means: reregistering for all my classes, being assigned to a new room in possibly a new house (latter is unlikely), and having part in-person part remote classes. Profs have the choice of being partially in person or fully online. It is suspected that most profs will go fully online because it’s easier to teach to the students who are still remote (mostly juniors and seniors). So living on-campus would basically be just that: living. I’d most likely end up taking online classes from my dorm room.

Everyone has a single so no need to worry about roommates, and they’re limiting the number of people on a floor to limit the number of people sharing a bathroom. All communal areas will be sanitized twice a day in the house, and as often as possible everywhere else. Masks and social distancing at all times, no more than two people in a dorm room at once, and COVID testing for everyone as often as twice a week. for meals, you pre-order on an app and pick up a grab n go container at a scheduled time to go eat it elsewhere. We don’t find out what classes will even be offered until after we commit.

I think I’ll be randomly assigned to a room, so that doesn’t really matter and I should stay in my house. Just first-years and sophomores means few house traditions. However, it gives me a chance to feel needed and goddamn if that’s not an addictive feeling. I’m excellent at planning social activities and fostering community. I think I could really help the first years adjust and help everyone adapt to the situation. I like the idea of this being a very uniting experience, living through history doesn’t happen every day. My dad agrees with this and thinks I should go basically just to say that I did. I agree.

But I don’t want to do something just because someone thinks I should. I need to make this choice because it’s what I want. I’m really struggling to separate doing what I want to because I want to and doing it because I think it’s what society wants me to do.

I’d get to see some of my friends, but not all of them. Plus, if people take time off I won’t see them and then when they get back I’l have to leave them. On the flip side, if people take time off and I do too, I’ll see them when we get back like no time passed. (Not really but like you get it.)

If I go, I won’t get to do theatre which is the thing I live for at school. I’d still get to do work with the theatre department, and arguably I’d be able to do a lot more work because the upperclassmen won’t be there so I’ll get to do more hands-on work. But my musical theatre org, the reason I’m still at my school, where all of my closest friends are won’t really exist. We can do cabaret or something but we can’t do a full show. I can’t direct anymore. I haven’t even had time to grieve the loss of my show. Do I take a gap year just to have the chance to do more shows? Logically speaking, the longer I wait to enter the theatre industry the more time it has to recover and the more jobs will be open.

A lot of juniors and seniors are planning on renting somewhere near campus so they might be able to slip into in person classes, but that kinda defeats the purpose because they’re not social distancing. However, this means some of my friends will be nearby during the fall. And one of my junior friends will be on campus in the fall for work. In the spring, the sophomores and first-years will take over leases in the spring.

Option 2. Not a great option. I’d have to be a J-term grad which is fine, but I’d miss out on all the spring traditions and I don’t really like that idea. I wouldn’t have to do online classes though. This is what a lot of people are doing. Some juniors and seniors are taking fall off and going in the spring.

Option 3. If I’m going to have to do online classes part of me wants to do it with other students somewhere I can enjoy myself. Maybe I’ll go live in the woods and do Zoom classes from my cottage. I don’t know. Or I could go live off campus so I can still feel like I’m near my friends but not take classes. Kind of like a bonus year but without the online courses. But this would mean having to learn how to live on my own with only a bare safety net, but I wouldn’t be alone.

Option 4. The only other option I’m very seriously considering. Taking a full gap year. I really don’t want to, but unless I want to be a mid-year grad or have to take at least some online classes, this is the best option. I’ve talked to some friends about maybe renting somewhere either near campus or elsewhere but I don’t know how I’d work out the logistics. I’ve never lived on my own before, and I’m not a great cook but I could learn. We’re only semi-seriously considering fucking off into the middle of nowhere and living my cottagecore dreams with some friends. 

This would mean I would become class of 2024 instead of 2023, but I would get the chance to at least try and have a “normal” college experience on campus. The problem is, I don’t know if things will be better in a year, or two years, or five. So will I just “waste” - for lack of a better term - a year hoping we’ll have a vaccine? 

I don’t know what I’ll do for a year. I can’t really work, I can’t really get an internship, I can’t travel. Do I stay at home? Do I get an apartment off-campus? Somewhere else? 

At the same time, I don’t know if I want to be on a campus without my friends and the clubs and experience that I’ve loved. The other part of me wants to be part of history and worries that we just won’t get better for years and I’ll just be stuck stagnant. Another part of me still wants to be unique and a little selfish and take the gap year so I don’t have to be the guinea pig for this weird online hybrid program. 

My mom always said she wished she took a gap year before starting college. Maybe I should take this chance. But I’d miss the few friends that I get to see unless I was living with them. Even if I still do online classes, I don’t want to take them from home, which my parents probably won’t like. I know they’ll support me, but it would still be cheaper to live with them and I don’t know if that’s something I want.

I just don’t know.

[ledamemangociana]

2020 20 questions meme time UWU

i was tagged by @decertatio to do this! i havent spent enough time on here recently to tag anyone, B U T! if you see this and would like to do this, consider yourself tagged, and let me know! i wanna read your answers UWU

-----

1. Do you make your bed? - GAWD NO, at least not 70% of the time, im so bad at this. it’s coz on the weekdays, i start working at 6:30am or 7am at home coz my bosses are in Australia and a lot of our clients are in Australia and/or New Zealand, and they’re 3 or 4 hours ahead of us, so i gotta get on those emails and support case tickets as soon as i can, so i give myself about an hour to catch up, and then i hurry out of the condo to get to the office before im marked late at 10am lolololol. on the weekends, when im at home, BECAUSE im just at home, i never fix my bed coz im in it 85% of the time anyway lakdjf

2. What’s your favorite number?  - 13, cliche as it sounds. not coz i think it’s lucky or anything, but because other people around me thought it was. i kind of clung onto it when i was in high school coz i wanted to fit in by standing out.

3. What’s your job? - An accounts and client services manager at a digital services agency.

4. If you could, would you go back to school? - Probably not. I love learning, HATE studying. 

5. Can you parallel park? - i never got far enough into being taught how to drive by mom to get to parking

6. A job you had which would surprise people? I think every job I’ve ever held, tbh. I graduated interior design mainly because my dad told me to when i asked him if i should enroll in advertising instead (the entrance exam i passed was good for either course). the only ID job i ever had lasted only two weeks, at a firm i had to do my internship/OJT at. it was my first job, and i was let go after two weeks. after that, i was a call center agent for two months, and then a copywriter for 6 months, and then an SEO specialist for a year and a half, and then a social media content/community manager at one firm for one year, and then for another agency for 3 and a half, and now im in my second year as an accounts manager at a digital services cloud agency. even i’m surprised at this job list tbh.

7. Do you think aliens are real? - i absolutely do believe that we are not the only life in this big, huge, wide, expansive universe that the planet earth is but a miniscule blip on. there’s definitely other life out there.

8. Can you drive a manual car? - i haven’t driven a car legitimately outside of learning how to drive, but yeh i probably can, since that was what my mom taught me with.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? - junk food and soft drinks, but in general i try not to feel guilty about anything i take pleasure in

10. Tattoos? - none, but i am ACHING for them. i’ve had ideas for a loooong time. one that i DEFINITELY want to get as my first one is part of a letter that i found that my mom wrote for me in high school. “i know that you will be able to stand up for yourself and the world will stop and take notice.” i still have the letter, so i still have it in her handwriting. i want it on the inside of my left forearm. 

11. Favorite color? - Pink! lighter/softer/pastel shades are my preferred ones, but i love any shade or hue of pink tbh

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? - i hate fake guilt trips. like, when someone wants me to do something that i can’t do, they’ll come in with like “nah, it’s fine, i’ll just drop all these SUPER IMPORTANT things im doing and go out of my way to do this thing that im asking you to do because i’m SOOOOO sorry that you’re unable to do it yourself” coz it’s like...dude, if you really were able to do that or if you wanted to actually do that, you wouldn’t have asked me to do the thing in the first place. like, you’re clearly just saying that to make me feel bad enough to make me drop everything im doing and do whatever it is you asked me to do. i also hate when ppl fish for compliments by being falsely humble or self-deprecating. like. PLEASE, y’all, i’ve lived with negative amounts of self-esteem for literal decades, i know the difference between actual self-loathing and you just wanting to hear good things about yourself that you don’t want to be called narcissistic for saying about yourself. i know what it sounds like when someone is actually going THRU something or is actually having an actual hard time accepting themselves and/or asking people for what they need as opposed to when someone just wants to be told something. like. don’t insult my intelligence and experiences like that. granted, there are nuances to consider for all of these things, bUT like i said, i know the differences when i see them.

13. Any Phobias? - i have a phobia of drowning that’s light enough to NOT keep me away from water but bad enough to sometimes make watching or listening to scenes where someone could potentially drown to set some triggers off for me. i also just have a really really bad fear of dying because of getting my oxygen cut off, coz that sounds like a really slow, painful way to die.

14. Favorite childhood sport? - i was never really a sports kid. the only sport i ever really enjoyed playing willingly was badminton. i trained for a few summers but never competed, but i got good enough to make games in a court fun. i still have my badminton racquet, it’s the only Legit™ badminton racquet in the house (it’s a Yonex, handed down to me by my trainer, only been restrung twice or thrice coz the last restringing was done so damn well), all the other racquets were inexpensive unbranded knock-offs that were good enough for me and my family to have casual games with.

15. Do you talk to yourself? - yes but mostly as a product of deep focus or concentration, or really heavy emotion. having social media has lessened doing it for the latter since i can just vent on here or on twitter, but when im doing stuff for work that’s hard or needs a lot of focus or concentration, i have full-on stand-up meetings with myself.

16. What movie do you adore? - “Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion.” it’s not a perfect movie by any means, but for someone who was a bullied outcast for much of elementary and high school years in a private, all-girls, Catholic school where everyone was tall and thin and pretty and pale and smart and popular, ALL the things that i wasn’t, it was - is? - like a beacon or a hug.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? - heck yeh, coz solving them makes me feel smart, and not being able to solve them but learning HOW to is so much fun for me.

18. Favorite kind of music? - i don’t know that i have one, to be honest, i haven’t listened to current radio in literal YEARS because i dont own a radio in the condo, i barely watch TV anymore, and i dont spend enough time in a vehicle to really know what’s up. i enjoy pop, hip-hop, rnb, showtunes.

19. Tea or coffee? - more of a coffee person myself, actual tea always just tastes LEGITIMATELY like leaf water to me, and i cant find a liking for it. i do really love sweet tea and milktea tho. but yeh, im mostly a bean juice person.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? - An architect, like my dad. i thought i would be one, up until i discovered writing in high school, and then i thought i wanted to become a journalist until i took it up as my first course in college and hated it. but yeh, it was always “architect! like daddy!” when i was asked that question when i was a kid. i looked up to him so much as a kid, and he and i were super tight when i was younger coz i was his firstborn and a daughter. we used to call each other best friends. i miss those days a lot; things between us seemed simpler, but maybe that’s because i didn’t have the ideals, knowledge and capacity to question the way he loves/loved me as My Parent™. our relationship these days is absolutely skewed and skewered.

[lnicol1990]

The Dark Domain - Session 1

As no one has said yes or no to the first story here, I’m going to continue writing up my D&D adventures. If only for my own benefit, so I can remember what happened.

As always, story under the cut.

Continuing with Irah, the fallen aasimar, Kaieth, the elven fight/monk, Delirium, the mad human rogue, and Rolfor, the human rogue/wizard, we begin the next morning. They have been given their own team quarters, no longer slumming it in the barracks with others of their class.

Ready and eager to begin their mission, Irah and Kaieth make their way downstairs to the quartermasters, while Rolfor and Delirium take a moment to examine their new quarters. Rolfor takes interest in a book called “101 uses for turnips” and pockets it. Delirium, having apparently read the book before, starts casually listing all the uses he can remember, all 96 of them. They join the others downstairs at the quartermasters.

There they meet Herrod, a finely dressed tiefling with horns that curl behind and around his ears, runes carved in and inlaid with gold. He greets them warmly, and asks for their requisition numbers, having filled in the forms last night before bed. Realising who they are, he begins to call out a name, but when no one answers, he uses magic to make his voice louder, temporarily deafening Irah and Delirium who were caught unaware. A much larger tiefling comes out of the next room, Herrod’s brother, Herren. Herrod explains that his brother does not understand the common tongue and is happy to let Herrod deal with people while he tends to the forge. But, Herren was apparently eager to meet the Lord Chamberlain’s new favourites, and that was why Herrod had called him. He smiles at the party and takes Delirium’s hand when it is offered, barely managing to not break the man’s fingers with his powerful grip, before returning to his work.

With pleasantries out the way and requisitions filled, the team begin their journey to the coast. Once at the main port town, Rolfor and Kaieth argue over ideas on how to take Quain, not coming to an agreement. Delirium makes his way over to a general store, followed by an inquisitive Irah. He wants to buy a couple of barrels of oil, which Irah helps him acquire, along with 100 sheets of parchment and a drawing set for himself. They all then make their way to the docks.

On the way, Kaieth notices that there are a large amount of people sleeping rough. The alleyways are filled with tents and boards to ward off the weather. The local garrison is lending its barracks to the homeless, as does the church in the town centre. There seems to be three times as many people as the town can house. And, to his memory, every town they passed while travelling here is in a similar state.

Irah notes that since the Domain was routed from the continent seven years ago, all its citizens were forced to flee to the Domain’s original country, of which only half is actually habitable. Taking Quain and expanding further isn’t just their righteous mission, it’s necessary for the betterment of the citizens.

Moving their equipment onto a waiting ferry, and pulling Delirium away from the church after he carves something into the wooden doors in thieves cant, they make the two day journey across the Sea of Antheias to Quain.

Irah spends the time making pamphlets for the citizens of Quain, welcoming them to the Domain’s rule. Delirium vandalises the ferry’s mast the same way as the church doors, much to the fury of the ferryman. Kaieth meditates, preparing himself for the challenge ahead. Rolfor relaxes and goes over his limited pool of spells.

They continue to try and formulate a plan, but with little success. Kaieth notes that they are likely on a suicide mission, though this does not seem to bother Irah, who states that he would rather die for the Domain, free, than remain a slave. This intrigues Rolfor and Kaieth, who push Irah to explain. He then tells them that he was once a Scourge, an aasimar filled with such a burning hatred for evil that they often attack it unthinkingly. He admits that, when he was five years old, he attacked and killed one of his peers for picking on those smaller than him. Irah goes quiet after that admission and the others don’t push him to continue talking.

Upon landing on a large, western spit, the ferryman gives Irah a Signal Scroll, which reading will produce an sign for the ferryman to return, though no one thought to ask what that sign would be.

Rolfor and Delirium scout on ahead, with Rolfor using his disguise kit to blend into the sand and Delirium simply strolling towards the woods remaining in plain sight. Irah and Kaieth hang back and wait for a signal from their teammates. Kaieth notices a couple of towers to the south, past the woods, with people standing watch, though they don’t seem to have been seen yet.

Delirium takes a fancy to one of the trees on the sand and is able to knock a coconut down. Happy with his prize, he walks up to a gap in the woods where a young man is waiting for him. The others see this young man as well and begin to approach, Irah and Kaieth walking quickly to catch up with their team. Rolfor, however, remains hidden, formulating his own plan.

Kaieth is able to recognise that the man is an adventurer, likely on his first adventure, full of confidence and with something to prove. They try to convince the man that they are returning Delirium to Empire, as the man no longer wants to be part of the Domain. The adventurer seems unconvinced and asks for papers. Delirium agrees to get papers out, and asks the man to hold his coconut while he fishes through his bag, offering the massive thing.

The adventurer, suspecting a trick, swings his massive hammer at Delirium, only catching the madman’s fingers but obliterating the offered coconut. At this point, Rolfor stumbles into view from the northern treeline and collapses, pretending to be gravely injured. The adventurer, already on edge and paranoid, takes a swing regardless, fracturing Rolfor’s arm before he can roll away.

Combat begins.

The party are able to do quite a bit of damage to the man, getting him to his knees in pain within moments. Irah asks him to surrender, rather than die pointlessly on some backwater beach. The man almost seems to consider it, but then says he would rather die than let the Domain horde threaten Quain and the continent, returning to his feet with renewed vigour, some of his injuries healing before the teams eyes.

A second later, an arrow strikes Kaieth in the back, piercing a lung. Combat continues with the fighter going down moments later, dead. Delirium, however, has been enraged with the destruction of his beloved coconut and proceeds to cut the man’s head off to serve as a replacement. Once he has the man’s head, he cheerfully leaves the fight to continue down a thin trail in the woods.

Rolfor is nowhere to be seen.

Abandoned by their teammates, Irah and Kaieth try desperately to find the two figures hidden the woods who aided the fighter. They first find a cleric, who makes himself known by shooting Sacred Flame at Delirium as he passes by. A shriek from elsewhere in the forest hints that the other assailant wasn’t able to dodge the fire like Delirium had.

The cleric proves to be a handful, with chain mail hidden under his robes. They are able to put him down, but not before an arrow lodges itself into Irah and Delirium, the latter seemingly not noticing as he walks away. Irah shields himself with a protective prayer and steps out to draw the archer’s attention, while Kaieth uses his training as a monk to travel further than anyone else feasibly could in the underbrush and manages. The elf finds a small halfling woman, and his clothes signal to Irah where their target is. The paladin tries to use Command to make her surrender, but she wills herself to ignore the thought planted in her head. After making a quick, ineffective slash at Irah, she disengages and makes a run for it. She is not able to outrun Kaieth, who hamstrings her and impedes her movements enough for Irah to impale her with one of his thrown javelins.

With the last attacker dead, they now have to deal with a rather large forest fire, which is quickly beginning to surround them. However, before they even have a chance to panic, the sky opens up and lets loose freezing rain and sleet, putting out every flame. Due to the general warm climate, it is obvious that someone has just used magic, and Kaieth theorises that it was one of the watchmen he had seen earlier, meaning that there is at least one powerful wizard one this island.

Rolfor, throughout all of this, had forced himself through the difficult terrain of the forest until finding the other side of it. He quickly changes the look of his clothes, adding leaves and such to make them look forest based. He sets a large fire on the edge of the wood and stumbles out into a quiet part of a village, obviously Quain. He calls out loudly, stated that he is the great druid of the woods and that he comes with an urgent message. As he says this, a crowd of townsfolk gathers round him. He turns to the fire he created just in time to watch it extinguished with a magical calling of sleet and rain.

And with that, the session ends.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Forty-Five: A Grey Coat ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hiashi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

It was such an odd way to meet someone.

There had been no call for rain that morning - the weatherman had said skies would be clear as students started returning to school for the year. And, true to his word, there hadn’t been a single cloud in the sky, blue and clear above their little city. Still munching her breakfast, Hinata had decided to forgo her umbrella. The less she has to carry and keep track of on her first day of high school, the better.

Hanabi, still in primary school, bade her elder sister goodbye as Hinata called her farewell, stepping into her shoes and careful not to wrinkle her uniform. Bag in hand, she left the house behind and jogged around to the front where her bike was parked. Thankfully it wasn’t too far to her new school - not far enough to need the train, at any rate. A little while of pedaling, and she’d be there.

The crowds had been a little intimidating. While middle school had been a little small, given that there were more of them in town, there were only two high schools to encompass them all. Marveling a bit at the sakura trees, she’d parked her bike, traded her shoes, and made her way to her first class.

It...really wasn’t a very remarkable day. Not until last period, when they all jumped as thunder rattled the building.

Almost out of nowhere, a storm rolled in. And with it, a turbulent downpour of rain.

Hinata’s heart sank. Really? She was going to get soaked! Many other students began chattering about the same as their teacher tried to regather focus.

Come the end of the day, it was a madhouse of rushing teenagers trying to make their way through the downpour. Only a few had still insisted on bringing their umbrellas, whole groups trying to crowd under them like ducklings under their mother.

Lingering just under the awning of the entrance, Hinata stared out into the rain. It almost seemed to blur the view, it was so heavy! She hadn’t even brought any kind of a jacket, the day had started off so mild. Part of her almost wanted to try phoning her father to come pick her up, but...well, surely that would only annoy him.

And then...whoomph.

Startling as something fell on top of her, Hinata couldn’t help a small gasp of surprise. Struggling against it for a moment, she calmed as she realized it was...fabric of some kind. A...a coat? Grey, like her uniform. Then...it must have been someone’s…?

Peering out from under it, she saw a boy, completely unfamiliar to her. He was a little pale, with a mess of dark hair and calm matching eyes. At her look, he glanced to her, earning a small jump. “You’re gonna get soaked,” was all he told her.

“...u-um…”

“I’ve got a club to go to, and my brother’s picking me up then. You need it more than I do.”

“Oh...t-thank you. Um…?”

“Uchiha Sasuke.”

It didn’t ring any bells - he must have gone to another middle school. “Hyūga...Hinata.”

“Just bring it back tomorrow. I’ll get it from you then.”

Blinking, she just nodded, watching him head back inside. Well that was...strange. But she’s certainly grateful.

Turning back out, she took a deep breath...and made a run for it.

Thankfully she was skilled enough at riding her beloved bike, she could spare one hand to keep the coat in place as the other handled the steering alone. By the time she got home it was soaked, but most of her hair and back were dry. The rest of her...well, she got right into a hot bath - she couldn’t afford to get sick on the first day!

She’d then laundered the garment and hung it to dry, going about her homework and occasionally glancing to it. Even then, Hinata was still surprised at the gesture. They were strangers, after all.

Poking about her generation’s favorite social media site didn’t turn up anything - either he didn’t have a page, or he’d told her the wrong name. She couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. Maybe a page would have given her a little more insight about who this Sasuke guy was.

...but at least he was nice.

And so, here we are the next morning, Hinata hanging the jacket near the front door...alongside her umbrella.

“Hinata...that isn’t part of your uniform, is it?”

Turning to Hiashi, she blinks, not sure how to reply. “I, um...I-I borrowed it from a friend yesterday. To...get home in the rain.” It’s not a lie, though she’s not sure she can call Sasuke a friend quite yet.

Her father perks a brow. “...I see.”

“I w-went ahead and washed it, so...it’s in good shape. I just need to get it back to him.”

“...him…?”

A pause. Well...she’d thought it obvious, given it wasn’t part of her girl’s uniform… “Y...yes.”

Eyeing the garment critically, Hiashi just harrumphs and goes back to his newspaper.

Heaving a small sigh, Hinata goes through her breakfast quickly, giving Hanabi a pat on the head before taking up the jacket and heading out the door.

There wasn’t time yesterday to ask what class he’s in...but surely he’s a first year like herself, right? She’ll just...have to find someone who knows him and find out for sure. Of course, the story might perk some eyebrows as it did her father, but...no matter. Getting him back his property is more important than igniting a few rumors.

...right?

At least she knows he’s not in her class of 1-2 - but that still leaves four other classrooms. Peering into the first, she doesn’t spot him...but then again, she’s a little early, wanting to have some time to try and spot him.

A few girls excuse themselves past her, and she decides to just...ask. “Excuse me, um...do you happen to know what class Uchiha Sasuke is in?”

The pair exchange a look. “Why do you need to know?”

“I...I borrowed something from him yesterday, and...I need to get it back to him.” Something about their tone makes her a little hesitant to explain any further.

“What?! Sasuke-kun lent you something? What was it?”

“You should give it to me! I’ll give it back to him for you!”

Immediately regretting her question, Hinata waves her hands. “N-no, I really should -”

“Oi…”

The trio turn to see none other than their subject of conversation, expression mildly annoyed. Like a couple of birds, the other two start twittering at him...and it’s clear he’d rather they didn’t…

“I...I have your coat!”

Hinata blurts out the words in an attempt to stifle the chattering...and surprisingly, it works. Stunned into silence, they watch as she marches back down the hall, intending for him to follow.

And he does.

Glad she kept the coat in her cubby, Hinata fetches it, neatly folded as she offers it to him. “I...I went ahead and washed it. Thank you for letting me use it. I...hope your brother came and got you okay…?”

Sasuke accepts the coat, tucking it under an arm. “Yeah, it wasn’t a problem. The rain had mostly let up by then, anyway. I hope you didn’t get wet…?”

“N-not too badly, no. At least, I don’t feel sick! So...I’m fine.”

They reach an impasse, and silence falls.

“...a-anyway! I...brought my umbrella today. Just in case.”

That earns a small smile and a snort. “Good. That’ll probably work better than a coat with no hood.”

“Y-yes...but I’m still v-very thankful you lent it to me!”

“No problem. See you around, Hyūga.”

“Ja ne, Uchiha-kun!” She waits a moment to let him leave before heading on her way, not wanting to part and then end up walking next to him awkwardly.

Still, she can’t help but mull over those girls’ reactions. Is he...popular? Since he’s from another middle school, she really has no idea. But he seems cool...with his messy hair and calm expression. She can see why he would be. Mostly, though...she appreciates his kindness.

...she’ll have to do something to make it up to him. But what…?

It’s then, however, that the warning bell rings, and she jumps. She’d better get to class or she’ll be late!

     Oof, late - had a bad headache for the latter half of the day, and it's just now going away (after conceding to some medicine, lol)      ANYWAY, not too much to say about this one! A little modern high school slice of life. While I like the rookie nine growing up together, it's also neat to have them start - at least in part - as strangers. Hence them not knowing each other in this piece!      But that'll do it for tonight - gonna go pass out cuz golly that headache took it outta me! Thanks so much for stopping by to read!

[froggy-s-thought-s]

#13 - 5/12/2021

it's been nearly a month huh? no one cares but i guess i just didnt feel like posting but im back now! (there are also spoilers for the b*d b*tch cause im complaining about it! so be warned!!)

I watched some stuff while i was gone, read some fics, watch youtube and i went to school!! (its hybrid cause they still have to sanitize everything on Wednesdays) but i get to go and talk with my friends and.. yeah?

I drank a can of soda at like.. 8:30pm (20:30 in military time/24 hour clock) and that was fun.. i fell alseep at... some point? i dont really know when- then i woke up due to my alarm which is set for 5:30am and then i went back to sleep cause today is Wednesday for me and i dont have to actually go anywhere!

Since Today is, as i said before, Wednesday, our day is flipped around so we have home room, then math at 8:30 ish, then sometimes we had something at 10:30 and after that at 11:00 we have PE which is currently 7 minutes away from the time im writing this! regular days its homeroom, lang, science, math then history though this week it's homeroom, lang, math, science then history so second and thrid period got flipped.

the reason it's flipped is because we're doing math tests and the kids who go out there at that time always scream and dont shut the fuck up?? there's also this neighbor who has a hen whom's name i dont understand and a rooster named blue (his feathers are iridescent in the light) and they would hop over the fence for a bit till he raised how high it was.

ALSO there are these kids that keep coming onto school property and vandalizing it and harassing those chickens- and the thing is, they've come to or school before! last year they spat on one of the teacher's kids?? we also think they are apart of the theorized two groups of kids who have been vandalizing the school for the past while?

we have more security cameras and gates all around the school now but they keep hopping the back gate which is too far from the school to get a picture of their faces without my teacher bringing her phone with her to snap a picture..

alright so time line time:

1. they spit on my teacher's child (i think they also punched him if i remember correctly?)

2. they possibly/most likely spray painted the school

3. (time skip) they hop the back gate and scooter around on their scooters + hitting the chickens with sticks

4. my teacher goes down and confronts them to which they "circle her like sharks" as my teacher put it

5. they ended up leaving but came back with a couple more people + a ball to throw at the chickens

6. teacher goes back down tells them to leave, two of them leave properly while the two original kids try to wait out my teacher by the fence

7. they end up leaving because there are these dogs by the back gate which go ape shit if you come too close and they were clearly going buck wild so.. dumbasses?? (my teacher called the cops but they didnt show up which isnt a surprise cause there are bigger problems then a couple of trespassers after school hours)

8. sometime during the week last week they were talking about vandalizing the school while at like subway or something?? idk one of my classmates over heard it tho

9. they ended up doing it over the weekend to which the chickens' father (the person who owns them) calls the cops

10. i think they showed up this time? they didnt catch any of the kids but they did show up which is a start..

11. we found out the identity of one of the people who showed up in #5, he goes to a near by school i think and he tried to join this facebook(?) group cause my teacher is on it cause she lives near to the school..

and then his mom tried to join? and then his mom's friends????????? idk man sounds like a you fuckin problem, shouldn't have been hitting the chickens, trespassing on private property and vandalizing the school??

anyway.. i dont think there are any new updates after that, someone did carve some dicks and the word "peepee" into one of the kiddy playgrounds so thats not very cool, cant really say it was them though sense we dont have proof and it could very well just be one of the kids at our school..

N E WAY, i've also watched the first episode of the b*d b*tch and i paused part way through the second one cause.. its not really all that interesting to me? (this is the spoiler part)

I was kind of hoping we'd be able to see why they're so pissy over everything and see them grow as people but like.. nah... they just adopt a child, do some shit, go see some guy and thats about all that's happened so far..

the white washing is also nasty like.. i dont wanna see some white fucker who has the audacity to use 99's name in their title, i wanna see echo get better, i wanna see rex, wolffe.. literally anyone other than them??

idk man its just not really my vibe.. i pointed out how it felt like a bad fanfic to one of my friends who doesnt give a single shit about starwars over discord cause no one lets me talk about it in person cause im mostly just talking about how im in love with ventress or something..... ANYWAY i pointed out it felt like a bad fanfic and then i read someone else's post (sorry i dont remember who) who said all the characters are what you think they are, named what you think they are and act like you think they will so everyone is just their hat.

(side not: a hat is basically just; big man is strong, only thinks about hulk smash and loud!! leader guy is leader, smart guy is smart and sniper guy has a toothpick in his mouth and is a sniper guy (overly sarcastic productions did a good video on it, it's technically about culture's of hats but i think it works here still))

moral of the story: i dont really like the bad batch, i've always hated cr*sshair so i dont really care that he's properly evil (i really wanna see more of his evil-ness tho cause like.. bruh that shit cool).. also im going off of what i've seen which is one and a half episodes so there might be more stuff in the latter half of ep 2??

and uh.. a have a few fics i really want to read currently but i want to do some pacing around first!

if i have anything more to add i'll edit this, if not gnight, sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite!

(its like.. 12pm but whatever)

[myriadimagines]

author honesty hour!

Rules: Answer all 21 questions, let the one who tagged you know you answered and then tag your writing pals!

i was tagged by @justcallmesailor​, thank u 💙

(so for ‘imagines’ i’m just gonna answer in regard to my one shots!!) 

The Works:

1. Which is the imagine you’re most proud of?

these are my top 5!!

See You Soon (Nate Heywood x Reader)

The Best Christmas Gift (Diana Prince x Reader)

Bar Liar (Liz Allen x Reader)

We Are Not The Same, Brother (Part 2) (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Nothing Will Keep Us Apart (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

2. Which is your least favourite?

i feel like i don’t like half of what i write... but i guess if i had to choose one it’d be Cold (Oswald Cobblepot x Reader), just because it was a really weird request in the first place. 

3. If you were to recommend one to read to your mom?

probably Danger (David Haller x Reader). i feel like she enjoys that style of my writing the most.

4. Which one would you consider re-writing?

maybe Fire (Napoleon Solo x Reader)? the request was kinda vague and i kinda struggled with it, but looking back i possibly could’ve come up with a story that flowed a lot better. 

5. Biggest regret in an imagine?

yikES i have a lot. i feel like all the one shots that were based on gif imagines i regret, because the gif imagines themselves are sometimes not enough to write a full piece on and i shouldve insisted that people add more details (if that makes sense)

6. Biggest success with an imagine?

Sorry Bodhi, She’s Off Limits (Cassian Andor x Reader) was one of the first one shots i’ve ever posted and i feel like it kinda boosted my popularity because i started getting a lot of requests after that

7. Your imagine with the most notes?

i might be wrong but i think it’s I’ll Hurt The Suit (Eggsy Unwin x Reader) (which i honestly don’t even like that much but oh well.)

however, i have a gif imagine and a headcanon that actually has 1.4k notes, whaaaat? the gif imagine is a kingsman one here and the headcanon is a sherlock one here (both of which i actually like, especially the sherlock one) 

8. Your imagine with the least notes?

It’ll Be Hard To Ever Forget You (Cassie Ainsworth x Reader), i guess because no one is really in the skins fandom because my other skins one shot doesn’t have that many notes either

9. What do you think makes a good imagine? Tips?

i feel like getting a good prompt/request that’s detailed can like... really make or break a request. but as for writing? i guess coming up with a clear plot, because honestly i could go through all my works and tell you which ones i just made up on the spot because i had no inspiration and which ones i actually had an idea for a beginning middle and end -- the latter are always better in my opinion.

10. When’s the next update on your works?

well only gif imagines are open right now and i’m just kinda drafting them all, but the next one i need to write is a baby driver request!! and the next one to be posted is a lauren strucker imagine!

11. Number of followers before you started writing and after?

well i kinda started this blog from the beginning as a writing blog so i cant really answer this

The Writer:

1. Which character do you love writing for?

ahhh i think i just answered this with another anon but if i had to choose one it’d probably be diana prince

2. Which character do you dislike writing for?

i don’t really want to say because i don’t want to like... discourage people who actually like the characters? 

3. What’s your favourite AU to write for?

i don’t think i’ve ever really written an au (except an au where like.... people live), so i dont have a favorite/least favorite!

4. What’s your least favourite AU to write for?

^^^

5. What do you hope never gets requested?

nothing i can think of off the top of my head... i guess just requests for characters i dont like or just characters i don’t understand the appeal of. i’m also not a fan of when people request the same character like in a row, because i’m guess i just prefer more variety?

6. What do you wish was requested more?

i guess my favorite characters and there are some fandoms which are kinda small but i wish i had more requests from them (like the bold type, wynonna earp etc), but overall i feel like i get a pretty wide variety

7. Thoughts on writing Smut/POC/Curvy/MxM/FxF?

i don’t write smut (i’d be terrible at it omg). i feel most comfortable writing fxf, but i’ll write everything else, but i’m always just scared i’m writing something inaccurate. 

8. Which account is your biggest inspiration in writing?

@vividimagines and @writings-of-a-british-fangirl were blogs i’d check every day before i started my imagines blog and inspired me to create my own, but i also love @marvel-grrl because i think she’s an amazing writer!! and i feel like @lotsoffandomimagines was a big inspiration for me setting up my blog because honestly i didnt know what i was doing but ace seemed pretty organised. 

9. How long have you been an imagine writer for?

since december 2016!!

10. Any upcoming secret works? 🤔

not at the moment... i have a bunch of unfinished fics for kara danvers, matt murdock, lorna dane and bellamy blake but they’re probably not going to be posted for a while, if ever. 

i’m going to tag @diansaprince @theheadcanonsawakens @lotsoffandomimagines !!

[wannasoftimagine]

lee daehwi as your soulmate

imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist

(as requested!)

ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol

for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be

ANYWAYS

once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear

ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet

eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means

but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future

at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then

ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it

u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate

honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then

time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life

SO

it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming

bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????

honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes

trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed

come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can

but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point

eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not

then ure like waaaait a second,,

n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate

which makes things much harder tbh

u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open

ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE

as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky

actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave

ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there

(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)

anyways

u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs

u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh

tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot

part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask “listen im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRIST”

but the realistic part of u is like “what the heck no dont do tht”

u settle on agreeing with the latter

at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off

u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave

thts when ure like “wow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outside” but also “WAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEP”

even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht

all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did

after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them

u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole “tiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!” thing

anywho

u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers

u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate

afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart

u keep thinking “mb its not the date when we meet??”

but honestly ure not sure what else it could be

like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,

and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else

u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts

it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions

by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like “???!!!!!!!!!!!”

u dont even know what to think at tht point

but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness

ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell “URE WALKING IN CIRCLES”

and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly

“wHAT” u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response

“URE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMES”

and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh

“ARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVE”

all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him “IM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVE”, a pause, and then u add on “U CREEP” bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life

“AT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINT”

u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home

still just as u pull it out, it flashes a “dead battery” symbol and just. dies on u

“ITS DEAD” u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????

“IM COMING DOWN”

okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea

when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock

just,, in case,,,,,

(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)

“i didnt want to keep yelling” the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)

he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways

“im lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?” he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical

“if i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwards”

he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace

its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression

u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh

today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then

ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned

“are u okay?? whats wrong????”

and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them

but daehwi is giggling and ure like “dONT BE A JERK” but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face

instead of the date, his reads “11.51 PM” in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH

he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc “i had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet u”

and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit

he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying “im glad its u tho bc ure super cute”

u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs

“i was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cute”

ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever

he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon

its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen

others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!

[heartyearning]

ok i still have half an hour left but im counting this as done i need to be finished with it so here’s the thoughts @exitmusique​ :

first of all idk if u asked this from a place of having already read the book or if you’ve been eyeing the book & wanna know more before u go into it so. im going to like describe a little of what happens just in case its the latter? but like if you’ve read it you’ll know more specifically what i’m referring to <3

so i’m not gonna say “this book is too long” because a) everyone has said it and b) idk if i agree with it, what i DO think is that this is a book with an identity crisis and that everything after the first like. 1/4th 1/5th idk but that first part (you cant miss it if u havent read it yet, you’ll know what i mean) is too long, and/or doesnt spend enough of its page count on talking about the things that are actually interesting/worth knowing about, making it feel too long when in reality the page count could have very easily been justified. 

it’s divided into like 11 parts but the actual divide comes in Before The Virus and After The Virus, and the before is an absolute gutpunch which worked so very well for me and which i adored beyond belief. it’s a tragedy about human error and what humans will do TO each other and what they’ll do FOR each other, its great

the second part, after the virus, is an extreme departure in tone and oh boy does that just not cut it. listen, i thought while reading this when i was still only like 8-9-10 hours into the audiobook that i was the perfect audience for this book because the latter part is post apoc scifi and i thought a lot of ppl just werent expecting that going in and didnt vibe with that genre but i do !! in general i do !! and i was eating a lot of it right up, the exploration of what society would be like after having rebuilt itself, a lot of it was realistic and interesting !!!

but then it just. keeps going. and keeps being... fairly light hearted ?? and i was just set up for a tragedy. i was set up for like.. being unable to read this for big chunks at a time because it would depress me too much... and now im meant to care about the intricate rituals of a fucking 5-way love triangle ?? huh ???? 

there’s also an issue with focus—i cant say too much on this jic you havent read it but there’s a certain element of vampirehood that keeps returning, except its like a really isolated element (thats rly confusing idk how else to put it) & i dont understand the laser focus on this specific element when theres 12 other elements that are presumably doing variations on the same theme & yet we never hear of that, which simply gets boring for one, and is an easy (and logical) fix to just. throw in some of the other elements. thats rly vague but if you’ve read it i think you’ll know what i mean

i think also the biggest thing though is that i thought this was a book about vampires but it’s actually almost not about vampires at all, far more about people, which works in the first part bc i like the characters but it doesnt work in part 3-11 because i dont like the main character and even more than that i find there were a lot of inconsistencies in how the characters were written that had it feeling like ya quite a few times just bc again. 5-way love triangle. like 🙄 

also by the end there were so many different POVs we were following and i didnt feel like these ppl had had enough fleshing out (which is completely nuts and bolts in an audiobook which i believe to be 36 hours) to be recognisable so i kept confusing them and in some cases i simply dont know why we’re following the day to day of these characters ??? 

long story short: i dont think this is an awful terrible book, but i think it had a lot of pacing + focus issues & i think if i had actually liked peter beyond the first few parts in the afterthevirus section i would have enjoyed it a lot more but.. i simply didnt. and i dont get how you can START with a tragedy and then stay light hearted for the remainder of the book, like baby that only works if u turn the order around ??? 

would love to hear your thoughts on the passage when you're done reading! (if you would like to share of course)

ooh yes !! i'm posting this ask now tho bc otherwise i'll forget but i'll rb this post when im done & share my thoughts :))

[textpostsforfuturereference]

To all the boys I (never really) loved and some that I should have:

#1: I dated you for all of the wrong reasons. You were handsome and tall and older and smart and I felt like I needed to prove something to those around me --that I was worthy of those things. I found myself for the first time (and certainly not the last time) completely indifferent about us. I remember thinking of the possibility of you cheating and I didn’t even feel threatened that you were surrounded by pretty college girls. You broke up with me then got mad when I didn’t tell you I was visiting Oxford then all of the sudden we were back on and looking back I was passive the entire time. When I finally wanted out your anger was a bit surprising to me and maybe proved you liked me more than I thought you did, so I’m sorry for that. My struggles with dating started here and I don’t know if its your fault or my own, but I’m leaning towards the latter. Thank you for ultimately always being a gentleman. I learned that just because someone seems right on paper doesn’t mean its all that its cracked up to be. 

#2 Looking back I felt pressured into taking interest in you. I saw you at the liquor store and thought you were cute but I never thought it would go past that. You tried to scare me but I was hell bent on seeming like I was cool with all of that. You were just immature for trying to scare me but I know you were fighting your own past mistakes and demons that still haunted you and wanted to know if I could handle it. I really hope you’ve chased some of that toxicity out of your life. Thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone. 

#3 First of all, fuck you. Secondly, I have to commend you for your persistence. I think it was 2 or 3 years of you trying to court me all while you had a girlfriend in Cincinnati. I really do hope she’s dumped you at this point because she deserves better. I’m also laughing as I type this because I really don’t hate you. You were just seeking emotional comfort and more love which I don’t think you got enough of growing up, but boy are you sneaky!! Thank you for teaching me to not believe everything a guy tells me and do some fact checking. You were the first (and not the last!) cheater I’ve had telling me everything I’ve wanted to hear. I hope you’re feeling the love in your life and aren’t up to the same old tricks these days.

#4 You didn’t even make the first draft of this list because I’ve done that great of a job forgetting about you. But I loved you. Whatever it was we had was random but it somehow became a huge part of my life. It was never romantic but it wasn’t platonic either. We talked all day and night about everything. You knew everything going on in my life down to the last mundane detail, and I thought I knew everything about yours. I didn’t know you were talking to another girl romantically until you confided in me that you were worried about her after breaking things off with her (and really that she was a little crazy). But not long after, you two reconciled and you slowly started to fade away. I remember where I was when I finally heard back from you after my texts had trouble going through - you were in Canada visiting her and meeting her family. A trip to Canada wasn’t exactly a small detail you forgot to tell me. I’m heartbroken our friendship didn’t last. I was okay with not being romantic. You didn’t need to block me on all social media. I would never sabotage your relationship. I guess I didn’t mean as much to you as you meant to me. Thank you for being a friend when we were friends, but also thank you for showing me that I have to forget the ones who have no trouble forgetting me. 

#5 You were such a nice, normal guy and I felt like we had a good connection!! I was really nervous around you because you were the first guy I could realistically see myself dating. We were similar enough but maybe too shy with each other. I’m not sure why the whole thing fizzled but I really appreciate you for being you. And I hope you’re dating/married to a smoke show now because YOU deserve it. 

#6 You were another situation where I felt pressured into liking you, but it just wasn’t there for me. You have such a fun/loud personality but something was off. You were also trying to shed some demons (and you’ve appeared to successfully done so) that I did not know about until after the fact, but that was too much for me at that point in my life. Sorry for my indecisiveness when you asked me if I saw a future. You waded through that bullshit and told me that if my answer wasn’t an outright yes, then it was a no. Thanks for being fun and not hating me. I still love running into you every once in a blue moon. You’re a good guy.

#7 Really sorry for the roller coaster I put you on. For the record, I did like you a lot, but this is yet another example of “something’s missing” or maybe I was just indecisive when my answer should’ve been NO all along. I’m also really sorry for letting my friend get in the way. It formed a huge crack in my friendship with her and it ultimately dissolved so really I should thank you for that. Also you should know that I was NEVER interested in any of your other friends. You were always the shining star in your group. And we were together when the Cavs won the championship, so I’ll never ever forget you. I wish the circumstances would’ve been different and things wouldn’t have gotten to messy, but I learned I will never let that happen again. Thank you!

#8 I tried sooo hard to dodge you because you were perhaps the most intimidating guy I had ever met. I knew this was doomed for the start but it was fun and it scared me in the most excitable way. I was never going to fit into your lifestyle - heavy drinking, VIP at clubs, connections everywhere, after hours bars - but I was definitely going to try to. We both had a nasty sense of humor and loved sports so it’s a wonder to me that we were still so incredibly different. Me having to leave for a month to work in Cincinnati was probably the best thing to happen, otherwise I don’t know how this thing would’ve ended. I lived for your text messages all day and night while I was away. You opened up and I was peeling back your layers and learning about you. I came home for the weekend and we day drank, then as soon as I went back for Cincinnati you were MIA. I’m surprised you ghosted because you didn’t seem to have that type of personality, but little did I know that was the best thing to happen to me. Thanks for pulling me out of my comfort zone and for keeping me company with your texts those first two weeks in Cincinnati. I know things have gotten tough for you and you are fighting to clear your name in the court of public opinion and better yourself, but I don’t hold any of this stuff against you. At your core, you’re a good person.

#9 You were the first to absolutely light me on fire, but admittedly I had my guard up. #8 literally ghosted me on Monday, and you were there to take me home and kiss me all over your apartment on Friday. I wished I could’ve stayed in Cincinnati forever even though you didn’t up living there much longer. I don’t know how or why things didn’t go anywhere. I don’t know if I wasn’t up front about my feelings and you got afraid to be upfront about yours. I don’t know if it was the distance. But I know you thought of me and still do. Going on a date nearly two years after we met and after a year and a half of you living out of the country was my dream come true. I still cant entirely let go of you for some reason. I think it’s because I have faith my patience will pay off one day. I want to live the rest of my life making you laugh everyday, mostly because I LOVE the sound of your laugh and seeing your dimples when you smile. I’m also prepared for nothing to ever happen between us again, but know there’s always a little piece of me with you. Thank you for being interesting and kind and showing me someone can be not only perfect on paper but also standing before me. 

#10 I really shouldn’t even list you here but you were the best distraction I could ever ask for. You’re literally a secret friend. I really wished we could’ve had the steamy affair we always planned on having, but you’ve really been a good emotional outlet for me, and I hope I’ve been that for you. You listen, give advice, and keep secrets. I also love when you send me thirst trap snaps and I like sending you bikini pics and then when we see each other in person we act like we haven’t talked since the last time we saw each other in person several months prior. You’re kind of a piece of shit for doing this behind your wife’s back, but I probably am too for entertaining it. I’m super thankful for your friendship and your advice and encouragement. 

#11 You were the second to absolutely light me on fire. But i burned myself. I wrote you a goodbye letter that makes me cry when I read it because I felt all the feelings with you. And maybe a big part of my turmoil is that I knew all along it wasn’t going to work out even though I wanted it to sooo badly. I saw everything great in you --you’re so smart, genuine, kind, curious, family oriented, compassionate, fun, nerdy and to top it all off so handsome and you didn’t even have a fucking clue!!! Maybe our timing was off or maybe you just weren’t that into me or maybe I didn’t tell you how into I really was. I cried about you for a year and a half (no joke) while I tried to carry on and date other guys. I’ve always wondered if you think of me or forgot about me when you found someone new. I kept tabs on you just enough to know when you were finally moving away from Cleveland, and its helped me heal a ton since you left. You’re going to do great things in this world, and while I’m sad I don’t get to be the one by your side I think we’re better off this way. Thank you for making me feel all the feelings I so desperately wanted to feel, even if the heart break outlived the relationship by over 1000%. And thank you for showing me the complete package does exist out there somewhere! Edit: Fuck you for unfriending me on snapchat. Actually maybe that’s for the best.

#12 I am so sorry. I didn’t give you the chance you deserved on our first date and was NOT on my best behavior. I was still reeling over my heartbreak and thought I needed to just rip the bandaid off and go on a date. You are perfection on paper (and in person too - don’t get me wrong) so I don’t know why we didn’t just ultimately dive in after a few months, but its all good. I think my indecisiveness , again, just gets in the way here. I’ve always had really good times with you and only think positive things of you! Again, I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve held you back or made you question yourself. We’re actually a really good fit and I’ve wished over and over again this could work but maybe we just lack that spark. Thank you for always being fun, for allowing me to tell you my fire sports takes, and being a gentleman. I wish all of the best things for you because you deserve that (and a cute dog, finally!)

#13 I truly didn’t understand what you were looking for. You had the most bizarre persistence or lack thereof. I would get the most random texts from you every month or so, make super loose plans to meet up, then not hear from you. Until finally we actually made firm plans. I’m not sure why I went out with you with your terrible text behavior, but I must admit I was super excited you were cool and so incredibly handsome. I thought things went fine and I even followed up to keep things going and then never heard from you again. If you were looking for a fuck buddy, you probably should have just said so. Or if you were looking for a 23 year old, okay. But you knew from the jump we were the same age. I don’t get you!

#14 First of all, fuck you. Secondly, fuck myself. This was a disaster from the beginning and another time I ignored my intuition, and was maybe way more passive than I should’ve been. I queued a tweet within the first few days of meeting you that alluded to my disinterest and something to look back on when things ultimately ended between us. I do stuff like this sometimes to remind myself my intuition told me the answer well before I listened to it. I probably let you in too much. I would face time you without makeup. I followed you on all socials and am now left with daily reminders of you. I let you stay with my in my apartment for the weekend when you were in Cleveland. You were all up in my space which isn’t something I’ve ever really had to deal with before. When I mentally made a pros and cons list about you and the potential of a relationship with you, the cons more than outweighed the pros. We were never going to work. I’m sorry I didn’t have sex with you, but you expected me to surrender my body like it was it was entirely yours for the night with zero discussion. I know you just wanted to be loved, but I don’t think you ever considered my needs and hesitations either nor how I want to feel like you respect my body. It pains me to say that this relationship with super easy to let go of within hours of you walking out my door. Your teasing was at times relentless and unnecessary and would chip away at my self esteem and patience sometimes. You fake broke up with me and when i asked you if it was a joke you said no and saw the joke all the way through until I was fully convinced it was over only to laugh at how upset I got when you revealed the joke. You were always tweeting pretty girls on Twitter and giving your tickets to them. You were on tinder while we laid on the couch together and I think you thought I was sleeping. You were red flags all over the place. Thank you for teaching me to NEVER EVER ignore them. And I hope you learn to be a little nicer. I also thank you for making me have a post-mortem conversation about the death of our relationship. I never planned to speak of it again, but a little communication and opening up emotionally is probably good for me with all of this pent up emotion I have from the aforementioned. Edit: you’ve tried staying on my radar ever since --telling me you miss me, you want to see me again, and inviting me to visit you to get away from the cold. It truly shocks me sometimes how much it appears you like me, yet how poorly you treated me when you had my full attention. My ire has only festered and grown and I almost eat up the fact I live rent free in your head. I relish in being nice and leaving you breadcrumbs (only when you initiate contact) so you hold onto just enough hope so I can keep my renter’s status. And I’m not sorry I didn’t have sex with you. In fact, that was one of my better choices in 2019.

#15 This was short lived and I am very sorry! After #13 left me not really heartbroken, but pissed off, I wanted to go in the complete opposite direction, which is exactly where you were. You were so smart, nerdy, and completely accepting of me being a dietary wet blanket. I appreciate your kindness and I’m sorry I wasn’t really in the right headspace for this to go anywhere.

#16 I knew this one wasn’t going to last forever, but I was sure going to get my hopes up! You were reminiscent of #11 somewhere deep in your spirit and I thought this could be what I had been waiting for. You were quirky and funny and lively and I was shocked how handsome you were in person. I felt like we matched up in so many ways and I had the best time with you in the little time we spent together. Our spontaneous date at Society where I wore my glasses, you practically wore pajamas, and held my hand saying you were looking for the real thing certainly made me feel great about where we could be going. But shortly after, you had a death in the family and things fizzled our much quicker than they began. I still think about you and your hotdog roller machine and it always gives me a good laugh! Thank you for being yourself because you are a special person.

#17 I hate to admit I am still pissed off about this one and I don’t have reason to be. When we met, I was not attracted to you. You followed me around like a lost puppy and I used that opportunity to let you get me Vodka Sodas all night and then dip out when I was too drunk and had dodged your advances without giving you my number or anything. But you found me the next morning and began to pursue me with confidence, and who am I to say no? You were persistent with facetiming and texting and wanted me to come down to Columbus to go on a date so I obliged. I still wasn’t entirely sure about you, but standing in Char Bar I had a “YEP” moment when I realized I wanted you to be mine and there was no reason you weren’t going to be mine. Everyone else previously mentioned on this list could’ve evaporated into thin air and I wouldn’t have noticed. I laughed to myself that #9 lived just down the street from you and that #11 lived somewhere in the area too. These were the early days of quarantine where everything was cozy and I just wanted to live in your bed, do puzzles, watch netflix, and fool around. You were super kind, but also had moments where you made me feel dumb or annoying a la #14. I’m sorry if my wanting to be secretive about our relationship made you weary of me. I never explained my track record made me nervous to tell anyone and I just wanted to enjoy some quarantine time together without questions from anyone. Looking back I probably was ill-equipped to begin this relationship and you probably realized that fast. After you excitedly begged me to visit you in Columbus twice, I asked you to come to Cleveland and you said no. I was hurt and confused by how quickly the tone changed and, like I had so many times before, I clawed and fought for every inch as you pulled away and eventually you were just another ghost. I found some peace with it, but when you popped up with a full on girlfriend a few months later I was pissed. But it’s completely fair and I have no right to be pissed about it. I think I’m confused how I let this one slip away from me when it initially felt like a layup. I had so much idle quarantine time to think about it and let the ‘heartbreak’ fester, but maybe it was just not meant to work out. Thank you for the fun, as sort lived as it was. PS: your bed was the most comfortable.

#18 I haven’t fully closed the book on this one because it feels ongoing. You might have a girlfriend right now, but I’m also pretty sure you had one over the summer before/during our date, but I know I have a place on the bench and you’ve got a place on mine! What has always attracted me to you at the most is the impeccable sense of humor (and the dimples... can’t forget the dimples). You’re smart and well spoken and so funny and tall. You care about the social issues and handle haters with grace! Distance is unfortunately a big factor into why this book has not closed (COVID too!) and it just sucks. You probably shouldn’t tell me you miss me when you appear to be seeing someone else exclusively. But being the “cool girl” that I am, I won’t call you out on it.  I haven’t always been 100% on you romantically, but I always 100% root for you. I think you are undoubtedly great and thank you for being that! 

#19 I really shouldn’t fool myself that this is going to be forever. I’ve admitted it to myself then quickly tried to silence the voice that this isn’t for me. I don’t think I’ve held anyone’s attention for this long and you certainly check most, if not all the boxes, but I cringe at you sometimes. Everything you say is too good to be true and I don’t think you’re bullshitting me. It really comes down to if you’re the person I want to be with and a lot of the times I am not so sure if “it” is there. Distance has weirdly been a factor even though you are one of the few who are actually in Cleveland. I feel like I owe it to both of us to stick around a little longer and give it a true shot, however, like so many times before, I feel like the vibe has started to shift. We’re probably not a good match, but you have a good soul so I can’t say for certain. Thank you for your patience. 

[simontams]

HEY NAT NAT BEN BEN WHAT ABOUT TORCHWOOD 🔥🔥🔥

I feel personally targeted. And I want that in writing.

Okay here goes nothing. *Rolls up sleeves*.

Warning: Will likely evolve into a long, in-depth, Torchwood analysis

Favourite Character:

I’m half asleep as it is and you go and encourage me to talk about Ianto Jones, who is not only my favourite character in this show, but probably overall.

The question is, can I pinpoint why?

Can I articulate how much this character genuinely means to me without just giving up and keyboard smashing at like 2am?

Okay, to start with, he’s not in the first two series an awful lot, however much I try to convince myself otherwise, but the development he does get is credit-worthy. And I think from the start, I was won over by his priceless expressions, sarcastic humour and sweet demeanour. Yet, throughout my numerous rewatches, the occasional bleaker episode, and low-key audio addiction, I’ve learned that there is more than meets the eye and maybe that's what makes him so interesting to me- All characters have more to them that originally assumed but there’s so many aspects to Ianto’s personality that slowly reveal themselves that you cant possibly know everything. You keep on learning and wondering about his past, his motivations, his true feelings- I’ve seen on countless occasions people labelling him as overrated and simply seen as that outside innocent coffee boy (sure, its the button on the top), but I think his clear popularity could be because a lot of people, dare I say, relate to him?

One of my favourite things about the Doctor Who universe especially and, in turn, Torchwood, is that it is real, it has real characters who have real emotions and real flaws, which shouldn't be excluded as they only add to their human degree of complexity- what would the series be without returning home to a concerned Jackie Tyler for a cup of tea every once in a while? without seeing characters reach behind that innate curiosity at the science-fiction and occasionally express fear at what is uncomfortable and unknown?

Doctor Who is not about aliens, it’s about people- and Ianto Jones is no exception. And in some ways, he can be the most human of them all- his excitement and confidence when he’s viewed as Jack’s boyfriend, his maintained calm exterior that he chooses to present to the world, his friendship with Tosh and the others, his weird habits and his humour, right up until his brutally heartfelt death scene.

 Ianto Jones is one of the only characters that I am sure will remain this close to my heart, and I constantly switch between connecting to him and marvelling at how much more there is to see. Not to be too deep or over-exaggerated, but under everybody's excitable obsessions with TV shows, bands, books- there's something that genuinely helped them learn more about themselves and grow as a person behind it, they represent a certain time in that individuals life and that has to be appreciated- in the same way, that can be said for my attraction to Torchwood as a whole and towards Ianto as a character.

Second Favourite Character:

Now that we’ve accepted me as a high-key, over-the-top teenaged fan, hence somehow continuing reading, let’s move on to the impossible choice of, who do I prefer more: Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper or Jack Harkness? (I’ll mention my  Gwen angst later).

Firstly Jack, will always, in my eyes, be one of the most deep and fascinating characters from what I’ve seen of the franchise as a whole- the contrast between the self-assured and flirtatious alien, the darker side of his immortality, and even the earlier con-man interpretation of his endlessly gripping character. Some of my favourite aspects of him in Torchwood are when we see him through his own outlived eyes; his loneliness or anger or even fragility, the latter being especially in regards to his relationship with Ianto and his over-arching knowledge that nothing lasts for him. And while he will always be one of my favourite characters in general, this one is a close call and I regret to view him as anything less than such- but I’m gonna have to go with Owen.

But first, let me appreciate Tosh- underestimated, brave, intelligent and affectionate Tosh, who is so close to Owen in terms of my tribute, it was near impossible to choose between the pair- in fact it still is and if asked this another time I would probably change my mind repeatedly. She tries so hard to gain approval and security, she's just genuinely lovable...and she did good.

I know Owen- apparently I’m having an Owen day- is disliked by the best of us in season 1, and some still after, I mean he is outwardly an arsehole, he's even aware of such, and the way he treats others including Tosh is inexcusable- but it’s season 2 where I genuinely fell in love with him, if not, mid-way through the first season after seeing the affects of Diane’s departure and his more sensitive self. Because like I said before- these human qualities, however negative, only add to him as a character.

When all the ‘dying drama’ goes down we realise how truly fragile he is, and in Fragments we see this to an even greater extent pre-torchwood: he's had a bad time of it, to say the least. And I will place him in second place after Ianto primarily due to this drastic turn and the realisation that he is such a prime example of ‘messed up and imperfect yet completely misunderstood’ and deep down, one of the most sensitive and caring of the lot.

I especially love when he begins to open up to Tosh and the numerous scenes in ‘a day in the death’ such as running into the bay or Ianto telling him to not let himself get beaten after all he has done, and that's also why that is one of my favourite episodes- I love this side of his character and how it contributes to him on the whole.

Character I’m Most Like:

God. Okay.

I honestly think this has to be the shortest reply yet. And for all the explanations worth, it has to be Ianto. Owen is angsty as hell, Tosh is kind and smart, Jack is tired, above everything and Gwen is adamant and sociable-

Ianto is humorous and loyal.

-Yet, somehow has the potential to be all of the other things too, and at times, has been. Which only furthers my previous point of him being relatable to most viewers at certain times throughout because of that.

Favourite Pair:

Now we’re talking.

There’s a word, a cursed, ancient term that’s been floating around the internet for a while now....: Janto.

Typical romance story, boy meets boy, boy is immortal alien, boy falls in love with welsh nerd who looks good in a waistcoat, the usual, yet...

Next, the heavy stuff :)

Ianto has so much love to give and he chooses to give it to Jack. His last serious relationship ended in tragedy and he finds himself in a casual fling with this, said immortal alien guy, who’s also...his mysterious boss. He appears genuinely happy and confident for the first time in a while and his utter joy will purify souls for many years to come.

But it’s not that simple, is it? It never has been. Because it gets serious and they can escape into their own connection outside of their work and all the other crap the team go through. They begin to understand each other on a deeper level despite their differences- and it’s fated to end in disaster:  Ianto’s death.

One of the most heart-breaking yet beautiful and bittersweet factors of the show is this relationship. The most traumatic realisations? moments when Ianto acknowledges his mortality compared to Jacks curse to out-live everybody he loves (The dead line and Day 4, I’m looking at you). Maybe it’s on Jacks behalf that the extent and importance of their bond get highlighted- He unwillingly falls for Ianto and he in no way wants to recognize the unwavering sincerity of what they have, or at least publically, hence his hesitance when Ianto is proud to be seen as a couple at the beginning of Children Of Earth, because he doesn’t want to see something so good end and hurt him, again.

Also, the fact that their relationship is so private? It’s got a significant part to play when prompting the importance of what they have. Jack is characteristically flirty and outgoing, yet he keeps his feelings for Ianto close and guarded-  because they mean that much to him. All of their intimate conversations- they're alone. It just develops and adds meaning and weight to their taboo ending.

That inevitably brings me onto the unspeakable death scene. I can wholeheartedly say that I have never witnessed such an emotional scene where a character has been killed off? It just, it gets to you? and I probably don't need to say that twice.

I don’t even know what it is, and I don’t care about the ‘he should never have been killed off’ or ‘he died for nothing’, god I want him to live as much as anybody, but they did choose to kill him off- and it was art.

The entirety of COE was, it was horrific and too close for comfort and one of the best pieces of television that I will ever have the pleasure to watch. Because it is raw and it’s soulful and it’s real and it breaks you- and god I wouldn’t want one of my favourite characters to go in any other way than something with this level of reputation and emotion.

The way Jack falls onto the floor next to Ianto, the ballad of Ianto Jones playing, the bigger picture of the theme of the series, them out of their comfort zone, beyond their control, influencing this, the government officials overlooking such an intimate moment, the way Jack tells them 'not him’ (that’s where I loose it, god I’m choked up just thinking about it), after Ianto tried to be the hero and stand next to Jack and help him confront the mistakes of his past- showing him that he's there for him when others doubt him, showing him that he can change and resolve it with him by his side, yet seeing that their efforts do not directly succeed? its not showing Ianto died with no final influence, its to show the extent of the bigger issue, it is out of their hands and that's why Children Of Earth is so, for want of a better word, scary- Gwen relating this degree of destruction to the absence of our established hero, The Doctor- terrifying.

How Jack wakes up and sees Ianto, how the audience see this character they've grown to love, dead, how defeated Jack looks with the knowledge that he will have to move on and can’t do anything about what had happened- it is seriously too much and can anybody who is that deeply connected to a scene, really hate on it for whatever reason?

God Jack blames himself, God Torchwood was the death of me-

you know I watched Children Of Earth over the evening of Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning? I watched Ianto Jones die on Christmas day 2015. Yeah.

Least Favourite Pair:

What the ever loving shit is Gwack.

(I like how you tiptoed around this Evie, and I just-)

Okay. I don't like Gwen. 

Now hear me out, I don't like her in the first and second series. She was a cheat and I accept this as part of her character, and Owens, but it doesn't mean I have to ignore or like it- she also treat the others like they didn't understand, like they couldn't feel and aren't affected by what they see like she is when they've been through so much more in terms of their background- she is rash and selfish and Rhys deserved better.

There I said it- however, it is party due to the writing, she had a lot of potential but she can’t be treated as such a ‘nice’ or relatable character and role model, as the person who enters this alien world for the audience to relate to when she gets away with these things. But I’ll hold my hands up and says she grows up a lot come COE and in the books and audios.

Despite my feelings about Gwen- she has still got a boyfriend either way. No offence, meh, ish, but there is nothing between her and Jack romantically- if anything she merely represents the normal life that Jack cant have. The many, many, uncomfortable scenes when she stares at Jack while kissing Rhys, the flirting with who she thought was him on her wedding day, the part where he's teaching her how to shoot, its just that, its awkward and there's nothing to it. Why voluntarily choose to treat her as this person who uses people and makes excuses for herself when you can emphasise and focus on her other truly good qualities like her bravery?

Why dig for something that isn't there, they have a great friendship, why simplify that? he mentors her and she has Rhys, he has Ianto, there's so much depth to that relationship as I've been through, why choose to overlook it?

But ‘don't like’ isn't as strong a word as ‘hate’, I just don't understand why somebody would make it this hard to view her as redeemable- I know she is flawed, like the others- I just find it harder avoid and grasp why people want to  further those parts of her and view it in a positive light and accept or ignore her cheating.

Gwen, I can hesitantly can get on board with, she is still part of the show I love, and while I can’t admit forgiving her I can say that her character, in turn, deserved better and while I acknowledge the problems she has, I appreciate her in COE, etc, because she does begin to develop and prove herself a bit more.

Nonetheless, I will never ‘get’ Jack and Gwen, it just doesn't rub me up the right way and seems pointless, it seems like ‘bait’ that some fans have fallen for and for me, it takes away so much of all of the characters involved and I’d rather view them for who they are rather than hinting at a negative version of who they could be.

And I'm sorry but Gwen and Owen are just bad for each other- they both deserve better than that.

Owen and Tosh? Beautiful and they should have gotten that date, they know each other so well and their death scene- why is this show so traumatic. But don't even get me started on that one-

‘Because you’re breaking my heart.’

Favourite Moment (s):

To be blunt:

Day 4- Ianto dies, yes really, #1, sorry...yeah..

Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, (Janto, in Adam)

A Day In The Death- Owen underwater, also in top 3...

‘No, ‘cause the phones aren't working’,

Captain Jack Harkness- Jack & Jack Dance, close second

‘Who’s for Chinese?’ ft. actually eating it and having a nice time Tm

When, in fragments, Owen first enters the hub and he is talking to Jack about how he's going to try to save as many people as he can but it'll  never be enough

I’m not sure of the episode, likely ‘A Day In The Death’, but Tosh and Owen have a talk, wait was it ‘Dead Man Walking?’...yeah it was...

Broken, audio- Yeah, that- the car scene where their relationship truly begins and ‘stop the car’, ‘my coffee.’

‘Space Pig, Yeah?’

Fragments- ‘Jones. Ianto Jones’. ‘Captain Jack Harkness’

Does the John Barrowman ringtone blooper count? ;)

Not to approach the unapproachable, and it's not my favourite ‘cause that's like twisted but- ‘the Steven thing’ deserves a mention just for the fact that Jacks expression will haunt me forever

‘The world’s always ending, and I have missed that coat’

Did I mention the entirety of COE?

A Torchwood Captain and an ex-time agent walk into a bar...

Virus short story, ending and the part where Ianto goes rogue and badass

The goodbye in COE- should have ended there, it lost its weight

Consider this: In the shadows audio- Ianto, he just-

‘The Sin Eaters’ audio, cat falls through lift, that's all you need to know really, isn't it?

‘house of the dead’ when its all over and somebody approached jack and he answers them but then they go away and he- ‘goodbye Ianto’

‘Gwen....mine’s got a bell’, ‘Jack and Coffee’, ‘Lost Souls, audio

Honestly I've probably forgotten moments that I mention 24/7 but these are the ones that come to mind

I warned you that it was gonna be an uncharacteristically long one

Rating:

10/10...

Did you expect anything else after all of that? For all its imperfections, this show will always welcome me back with open arms, I’ve taken so much from it and it will remain my favourite show along with Doctor Who itself.

Funny Story: 5am

I told you Evie, I did.