#I CANNOT STRESS HOW MUCH MY LIFE HAS CHANGED BECAUSE OF THESE IMAGES

[wonryllis]

𝜗𝜚ㅤTHAT'S MY GIRL! ( their idol s/o has dating rumours with someone else )

────𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗒!

﹙NOTES.﹚ enhypen as your idol counterpart. fluff. fem!centered. lowercase intded. 1098wc. requested by anonie 𓈃 ๋ 𝐍𝐄𝐖 峠

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 the one who ends up revealing your relationship in the most unhinged way. look he really loves the thrill of a secret relationship and he's so grateful to be chosen and loved by you but he just cannot stand you being romantically associated with someone that's not him. like why anyone else when he's literally here? sad baby starts a weverse live to vent in code (lies he planned it all so strategically, the perfect little irreversible plan) but ends up slipping your name in between as if he wasn't just giving it all away, "whose scrunchie is that? oh this blue one?" picking up the silk rubber from the corner the fans spotted it in,"it's y/n's," and when asked why, he's babbling on before anyone can stop him," because my baby was here yesterd-" live ended.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 the one who is so secure in himself, he wouldn't give a damn about it. please he couldn't be bothered in the least whether there's one or hundred rumours or articles, he knows he's the only one for you. though sometimes he would want to show you off a bit but that's okay there will come that day when he would put a ring on that finger and declare to everyone just how much he loves you. "jay did you know about that rumor i had with-" you enter the room, wanting some lovely words from your lovely boyfriend,"baby you know i love you lots no article or rumor's gonna change that ever," you giggle rushing over to him and leaving fluttering kisses on his cheeks, "just wanted to tell you he's apparently rumoured to have beef with you," "we meet after a week and that's all you gotta say? come on baby,"

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍 the one who is full of himself, convinced it was just a lame ass set up for a while. he opens the article once, reads a lone single line and it's done. the next time you're meeting he'll be like, i saw the article of you with so and so, saw the pictures too and well i understand. can't deny your chemistry speaks but that's because they haven't seen you with me yet, "we literally define chemistry baby, he ain't nothing before me," his ego shines so bright and it's even crazy that you find that attractive about him. the next time he sees that idol he's gonna be hella sarcastic and fans are so confused to see the puppy guy behave like that. "i know he's no competition for me but honeybun how dare they like, man know your limits," he's not stressed he says all week.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 the one who ends up making dating rumours of himself with that idol. honestly he hates it, the rumours are eating away at him and it's worse that you're mc partners with that idol. will stare that guy's kidneys down when on an interview on the show. and then boom the next day there's articles all over the internet about how he was giving his heart eyes the entire time. "is this damage control or is this self sabotage?" he's questioning himself as much as he is questioning you, but does it really matter the mission was successful and now your name is no longer attached to that shit. now well it's his go to plan everytime you get dating rumours only stopping when it's his name beside yours, "baby, i got it all under control trust me. no one will ever try to pretend to date you," he's not leaving anyone unstained who dares to go for his baby.

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎 the one who strangely gets excited over the news, boy are you sure it's rumours about your s/o? he's quite literally the first one to find out and he's ecstatic to know the love of his life is so popular and even more that you're getting free publicity like you go girl it's all an image, i know who's the real one. there is no jealousy jealousy, but he's still like,"don't be too cocky about your options, you're stuck with me bun," if he knows that idol, he's definitely talking about it in his next live, subtly trying to debunk the rumours saying oh my friend's got no rizz, way to roast for love. however there are moments of craziness when he'd add fuel to the fire and start new rumours, "babes, i got you some more publicity, your company's not doing shit for you they gotta thank me,"

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 the one who purposely tries to set you up for schedules with himself so that he can start rumours about you both. on his managers ass to arrange shows you can participate together in, to creat opportunities for him to interact with you as much as he possibly can. might even pressurize the poor manager to open fan accounts and spread rumours about y'all. "baby, i got this show for us next week, we're gonna be making news soon!" excited he speaks into the phone, on his way to your dorm without any disguise hoping paparazzi catches him?? with his manager running after him trying to convince him there's better ways. "wonie, do you wanna join we got married?" boom bam boom you're just as crazy as him, your mates cannot fathom how y'all haven't been discovered yet.

𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑���� 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 the one who teases you but in a sorta jealous, i need some validation kind of way. he knows it's not serious but he just can't help it, he just constantly wants to be reassured by you, it makes him feel all these giddy butterflies like yes i bagged this amazing person. and it's so sad he can't show it to the world, but if you love him back then that's all that matters. "heard you got a new boyfie?" he looks at you wiggling his brows in a pout as you hangout in an empty dressing room after your performances, "what no? you're my boyfriend, the permanent one," you assure his ass but he's liking this so much,"the how many side hoes have you got?" he starts again, "only one," you tease, "does it start with a r and end with an i?" "i don't think so," "y/n!" always ends like this.

TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie

[captainofthetidesbreath]

I LOVE accusing every single character of being a Breach collaborator without ANY regard for whether it makes sense or whether it's likely. Hell, it's almost better if it makes absolutely no sense and isn't all that likely, since this is entirely for my own amusement. But, some of them do make at least a bit of sense, and that's also so fun to think about. Ever since the Hieronymous drop, I've just been randomly pointing fingers at any character we don't yet know either way, and coming up with reasons that would be interesting or funny or how it might work, for funsies.

Jedediah Pom? He's extremely well-placed as a member of the media, and I'm constantly suspicious of how closely he watches everything, even with considering his job. Backpack? She always seems to be in the oddest places, and I would not be surprised if information was coming through her—knowingly or unknowingly. Kozma? Would fit in with her (horrifying) propensity to "collect" people and could function as a kind of first-look deal (awful).

Agatha Ledge? I feel like the gap between her Incendiary Imaging Device and Breach stuff can be very small if you lay the cards down right, no, I cannot explain (but a mad scientist-type who changes sides because they're unhappy with their pay or access is always great). One of Imelda's brunch group (Penny, Gert, Lucille, Desiree, Maeve)? The BETRAYAL! Olga Costigan? Extremely unlikely, but it would make Spahr's life worse in a specific way that is funny to only me. Gretel? Actually, this would be pretty great because she worked directly under Spahr, and also this would make Spahr handing off Hieronymous to her at the hotel really funny.

Arno Delagny? Maybe we should be questioning why so many former employees of the Delagney Hotel at the Vantage have Breached. Imogen Loxlee, Milton Fleit Sr.? Just imagine the chaos of that for a second. The Miravette twins? They clearly need something better to do with their time and sedition might be it. Melinda Crowne? She IS a friend of Sherman's and Emmet's mother. Spahr's parents that I assume he has? Again, would stress him out so much in a way that is funny to me specifically. Speaker Corsovia, Ambassador Isadore Riley? We don't know anything about either of them for this to mean anything, so why not.

It's genuinely so fun for me to just be constantly like: today's Breach collaborator is [spins wheel]

[life-in-the-garden]

A Spell for Bisclavret

Introduction

I don’t talk about my academic life here much, so for those who aren’t in the know: I’m an undergrad in the US working towards an English degree (going part-time because I also have to work to earn my daily bread like the wage slave that I am). Last semester was… incredibly stressful, but I ended up really enjoying a class about romances written in medieval Europe. We started with eight of the Lais (long poems) of Marie de France, a woman writer of the time period, and one of those Lais was titled “Bisclavret.” If you aren’t aware, Bisclavret is an Old French word for “werewolf” AND is the name of the main character… since songwriters in the Middle Ages weren’t exactly subtle much of the time.

The spell I created—and am now sharing with you—was inspired by the character Bisclavret and his story, and draws upon the power of this knightly werewolf of yore.

image credit

If you want to read a translation of Marie de France’s “Bisclavret,” you can do so here. This isn’t a translation that I’m fond of (I think the rhyming is unnecessary), but it’s free to access and gets the gist across just fine. On the off chance that you want to read the translation that I actually recommend, which includes the Old French source text alongside the English, then check out The Lais of Marie de France: Text and Translation by Claire M. Waters.

If you don’t want to read a good many lines of poetry, here’s the summary: In his story, the knight Bisclavret is tricked by his scheming, adulterous wife into revealing his wolf form to her, whereupon she becomes frightened and hides his clothes. Therefore, Bisclavret cannot change back into his human form, and so lived in the wilderness as a wolf until found by King Arthur and brought to Camelot. There, in the court, he behaves so courteously that everyone remarks at how noble and regal the wolf is… until Bisclavret sees his former wife and her new husband, whom he attacks. Arthur, who believes that the wolf would not attack without reason, interrogates the human couple and learns the truth about Bisclavret. The werewolf’s clothes are returned, and he transforms back into a man as Arthur orders the exile of Bisclavret’s ex-wife and her husband from the realm.

This spell, titled "Garwolf," is a piece of baneful magic intended to punish a thief.

Garwolf

You will need:

1 or more pieces of paper for writing upon

a writing implement

a method of destroying the paper, ideally via fire (and all associated fire safety accouterments) or else via a shredder, scissors, or what have you

Method:

Think of a time where something was stolen from you. The stolen thing doesn't need to be a physical item; maybe an abusive parent stole a happy childhood from you, for example. This spell assumes that the stolen thing has been permanently lost in spite of your best efforts to retrieve it, and that you cannot find peace through mundane methods. If the only option left is magical retribution for the hurt you've undergone, then this spell is for you.

Take the paper and write a letter about the person who stole from you. (if you can't write easily or struggle to read your own handwriting, you are absolutely allowed to type the letter on a computer/phone and then print it out). Pour out all the hate in your heart onto the page. Describe how you were hurt, and how it made you feel, and how you want the target of this baneful working to feel and what they should suffer as recourse for the pain they've caused you. You are an entire human being who deserves respect, dignity, and safety; don't minimize your own feelings here. Let it out and hold nothing back. (This step focuses your intention).

When the letter is finished, fold it up as small as you can and carry it on your person for three days and three nights (approximately 72 hours). Shortly after each time you wake up during this period, read the letter aloud to yourself and ruminate on your feelings towards the target. Do the same thing before going to sleep. Remember that you are worthy and that nobody has the right to make you feel lesser. (This step charges the spell).

When the three days and nights are finished, read the letter aloud a final time and then destroy it with all the rage and hatred you can muster. Tear it to pieces! Burn it! Shred it! Render your words unrecognizable as you release your energy into the universe to carry out your will of bringing misfortune, hardship, and/or suffering upon the spell's target. (This step casts the spell).

(If destroying the letter via fire, remember to follow all applicable fire safety procedures and don't burn down your surroundings in the process).

To cool down from casting this piece of emotionally intensive baneful magic, practice some self-care. Make yourself a cozy beverage and/or take a luxurious bath or shower, for example, and remember that you have an innate worthiness that can never be stolen from you.

If you found this spell intriguing, please consider tossing some spare change towards my ko-fi so that I can continue sharing my magical work!

[corvidcrybaby]

A bit random but Alucard strikes me as the type to be like, “if I cannot have your love, I will settle for you hate” as long as his ‘person’ feels something towards him, he is satisfied. I think being and showing indifference towards him will make him either amused or pissed off. And yes this mostly stems from my belief that Alucard could be technically canonized as a Yandere.

Hmmmmm. I think I'm of two minds about this one, personally. On the one hand, I do agree with the statement given in quotes here as being representative of a sentiment Alucard might carry. Alucard likes to see people at their most intense and unfiltered, and as such I think he'd just get a real kick out of someone's visceral hatred for him simply because he'd respect the willingness to own up to how strong one's feelings are towards him.

This supports some of the ideas, in truth - I think he definitely would prefer to know what someone's true colors are, and subsequently, would not be fond of indifference. It's actually something that I play around with in my OC, Zemira's fics with him. Much of the groundwork for their initial acquaintanceship was Zemira confidently snarking at him in language just abrasive enough to be identifiable as "giving him shit," but just cagey enough to seem chummy, affable and unphased. Beneath this were very legitimate, complicated feelings that the trooper was grappling with, and it was her attempt to project an image of being untouchable and unshaken by the Count; someone who most sensible people quaked in their boots at and didn't hide for a second. But Zemira tried to act relaxed and tough at the same time, in her own way.

And ohoho, Alucard zeroed in on that like a heat-seeking missile. IMO it's actually the worst possible thing you can do around him if your objective is avoiding him. It's like a knee-jerk reaction. You put a puzzle in front of him, he compulsively has to solve it.

Having said this, I think it segues into why I think that if he is a yandere, he's a very esoteric and passive sort of yandere. I think if you show him indifference, he's most likely to simply think of you as another stupid or oblivious human. You're not reacting strongly to him? You're either dumb, or hiding the fact that you're dumb. All he has to do is spook you a little bit, and get you to scramble off in fear. Then he'd have a chuckle, and move on, washing his hands of you.

While I think Alucard is definitely fascinated by human emotions and does place great value on them as pertains to one's willpower and strength of character, I don't think he'd take other peoples' feelings so personally. That strikes me as a little too sensitive for him. Alucard sometimes has a hair-trigger temper, yes - such as when he blows up at Seras - but it is almost in relation to something that is directly associated with a primary objective of his. I've always felt that him yelling at Seras was not him being personally insulted that Seras objected to killing humans, and moreso that he was deeply alarmed by the idea of his Fledgling - his responsibility, as ordained by Integra - not taking a life-or-death situation seriously enough, and potentially endangering herself by being squeamish about who she turned her guns on.

And when he figured out that she was just confused and frightened and looking to him for comfort and guidance, he immediately pivoted. The emotionally unkind thing here is that he doesn't apologize or try to acknowledge his own failure to communicate the situation to Seras clearly. He just switches gears on a dime, and opts to showcase understanding by dropping the subject and changing up his attitude rather than explaining where Seras is misunderstanding.

TL;DR - while I think some of his thought patterns are very yandere-esque, I think Alucard is only going to get to that obsessive, reactive state if he is already in a high-stress, high-stakes situation where his emotions are running very, very hot. Beyond that, I think he's a bit too absent and a bit too unbothered by and uninterested in most people in the long run.

[swanconcerto]

TEASEAT BIRTHDAY TEASEAT BIRTHDAY @teaseat

everyone drop your favourite teaseat fics. here are my top 3:

honey, honey, hold me baby: i think this was the first thing i ever requested from him and boy did it deliver. i think about this anytime i reeeeaallly dont want to get out of bed in the mornings because. well. the image of vincent solaire waking you up makes it a lot more bearable, no? the ambiance of this fic is just so quiet and tender and sweet and just so perfectly vincelovely- she got their back-and-forth teasing so perfect and also all the little sweet moments between them make my heart melt. TRULY a masterpiece.

i love you, i adore you: YEAHHHH of course this is on here. OF COURSE. if someone asked me "just how lovesick is vincent solaire?" i would show them this fic. so FREAKING cute i cannot even put it into words. i think even if you're not a vincent fan you should read this one because my oh my will teaseat change your mind. "look at my lovely" HELLO?????? i know it's your birthday tea but you WILL pay for this.

dopamine rush: GASP im choosing something that's not vincent-centered?! yeah teaseat is just THAT good. this fic is like 90% responsible for endearing me towards david. i loveeeee getting to hear david's stressed out yet so so happy inner monologue i think shes captured his personality his vibe his aura so so well. "with how much he makes fun of asher and milo's faces when they see their mates, he should really take a good look in the mirror. or have a better poker face" DAVID SHAW. this is so crazy and i love getting to see the beginning of the davidangel relationship when theyre both starting to realise how much they likelove each other. plus. theyre wearing his shirt. i mean cmon now. also he writes that david was "holding back a shudder" i dont know what type of twisted mind you have to come up with that but i cannot deny your genius.

honorable mention: palilalia- completely unlike anything else hes written but by god is it crazy amazing. i think this is the best character study (?) of freelancer i've ever read. the writing here feels so...alive, in a way? you can really just feel the atmosphere when you read it. and also it's just so, so interesting to read. something that i'd want a physical copy of for my shelf, for sure.

OF COURSE there are others (teaseat has never written a bad headcanon in her life) but i just wanted to highlight my top favourites and talk about them a bit. teaseat my bffl an amazing author and also age 20 years old today. god bless

[onlyplatonicirl]

correcto-mundo my friend, reaper is one of my favourite utmv characters because i just really like personifications of death, and he sillay

ive always loved the hc that he is a chronic coffee drinker, man's job must be proper stressful so he needs his caffeine fix to keep him going, after all its not like he has a heart to explode with the amount he drinks

his favourite and go-to coffee order is usually just a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso, 'for that kick', i think he has this favourite coffee shop he visits, maybe within the omega timeline itself, its a local family owned business and its become quite famous for being the god of death's favoruite spot for a pot, they say anyone who drinks there might just be spared the cruel hand of death

anyways, whilst he always orders a really strong coffee i think after the seventh, "the regular?", hed go no, no i wont, and instead orders the unicorn sprinkle supreme frappe, and he really, really likes it, so he now orders that instead, so long as they dump as much espresso as is legal in the cream and syrup concoction

hes a good husband, i hate the image some people in this fandom of how he treats geno, hes constantly overstepping boundaries and all that gross stuff (wonder who that came from.... 2016/17 was a dark time). he is constantly doting on geno, always visiting him whenever he can, always orders a drink for him whenever he goes to his spot, constantly showering him with gifts and the like, and he is so, so happy hes one of the few people he can touch and goes full on pda mode whenevr he can - side note he does this to annoy and embarrass goth

he does actually have eyelights (may actually be canon idr) but he just doesnt show them, why? mystery <|:))

very much so uncanon to almost everything, but i think him and nightmare would get along really well, both are feared because of a duty they have to carry out, something they cant change about themselves, so id think they bond over that, and maybe in another universe nightmare wouldve never have become corrupted because hed have a friend to support him, someone who knew exactly what it felt like but was able to cope with it because of a support network - also coffee-drinking, book-reading introverts unite

also not exactly canon to tcoti as far as i remember, but hey thats what a headcanon is, is that he is in a loving relationship with geno and life, they are brought together in holy ma-TRIO-mony hehehe, so goth gets to have three mum-things, also the image of this beautiful ethereal woman cloaked in flowers and silk embroidered with pearls and gold jewellery standing next to these 5' odd skeleton dudes who are wearing these ragged ass hoodies, shorts and slippers, and her going being like "hmmm yes my husbandwives, i love them dearly", is hilarious to me

he is greek, its quite clear reapertale is based off of the hellenic pantheon, so it only makes sense for reapertale characters to be greek, at least somewhat partially

reaper is supposed to be a counter to repeartale papyrus who is a god of painless death, so in my eyes reaper sort of acts a bit like a judge (just like sans in ut), he takes the souls of those who would've gone to the underworld, which begs the question, what the fuck happens to people who die in this world and in the omega timeline in tcoti, because in my eyes, reaper and paps (idk his name im sorry 😭) reap souls and take them to the underworld (limbo/hell) or to elysium/olympia (heaven sorta), but if a soul is destroyed by say someone like error or is irreparably damaged by experiments on the soul, then that soul cannot be reaped and that person just sorta ceases to exist or becomes undead/deathless, its really weird to try and logic it out, a definitive heaven/hell in the same world where there are beings who can rip apart the code and do whatever they please - please author explainnn i just really wanna know what you think

i think he has a very cold and dark aura, its quite literally visible around him at all times and it never really lets up, this aura is pretty bad for most people and nakes you feel like your dying if you come to close to him

under his cloak he just wears his pajamas, and they always have some dumb slogan on them, life probably bought them

his scythes are quite like the way weapons work in soul eater, that being they can transform and i bet he would probably force his scythes to turn into a dustpan and broom and tidy up his bedroom, or into a mop, really whatevers needed at the moment, theyre like a swiss army knife of convenience, it frustrates alchemy to no end

his house is full on maximalist, and also probably massive, bro is basically a celebrity i can imagine him living in like a massive mansion with greco-roman architecture all over, massive pool, massive garden, all the good stuff

hes a lesbian sorey dont make the rules, he and life were childhoof besties and she was like im a girl :) and he was like same :), having no concept of what being a girl was at all because i doubt alchemy, the god of... stuff and shit i forgor (is it space? i feel like its space, hes clearly based off of primordial gods, but which idk :PP), explained that concept to him, mostly because well why would it matter? alchemy himself is a god above other gods, he himself probably has no concept or care for something like gender, so why explain it to his kids? so when he met life he was like mmm ues im a girl and i like this girl, and for awhile that was good to him, until i think honestly when goth was born and later grew up and then explained to him, or tried to, that, that would make him a lesbian - and for reference geno is a corpse, do you think he cares what label you assign to him or yourself

i think he can transform into animals, usually those associated with death like a crow or snake

speaking of crows i think he keeps a whole murder of them as a pet, hes named every single one of them and he can tell them all apart - he created them himself to be his servants, so he can freely touch them without worrying about them dropping out of the sky a second later

anyways thats all i have, i think, thank you for doinf this i love sharing the brainrot and getting to infodumo shit i straight up made up about characters i love to people

ANONNNNNN WHADDA HELL!!!!!!!

I didnt know all these headcannons were tcoti-adjacent!!!!!! Honestly you have a free pass to headcanon-dump in my ask box whenever you want about whoever you want, I wanna see everything you got!!!!

Also I LOOOOVE the hc that he’s Greek!!! I am also Greek irl and have a lot of Greek family so I am very familiar with the culture and language - him speaking Greek would make me SOOOO happy aaaaaaaa 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[miraakulous-cloud-district]

I was tagged by @bougainvillea-and-saltwater to do this amazingly cool tag game and share the "theme songs" of my fic, all instrumental!! You had such a wonderful idea with this tag game, dear 🥰🥰 **Edit, since this has been in the drafts, @shitty-drawer also tagged me💖💖 Thank you so much, and I actually tagged you in this game 🤣 You were faster than me in posting it.

I thought it was going to be easy, as I listen to a ton of instrumental music, because I also like to always have music in the background! But going off of vibes, this is how I associate music to my fic "Wherever you go, there you are":

"Miasma" by Ghost. This is Ravonna’s theme song. This one, I feel like, it encapsulates Mage!Ravonna perfectly. And that saxophone solo? Groovy! Just like her and her bard side. It also feels like a beautifully threatening song, in a way, and I think it fits her perfectly. The second song for her, because I simply cannot only choose one is "Faronell's Division" by John Playford. This one represents her sassyness as well as her impulsiveness, with all the changes in rhythm

For Miraak, I'm going with "Gnossienne No.5" by Erik Satie, because of the ✨️gentleness✨️ and this song heals the soul, and he's a healer, sooo yeah. The second one I choose for him is "A watering hole in the harbor" by Adam Skorupa; this is such a joyful song, and I feel like it really encapsulates the "I have no idea what y'all are doing, but I'm joining in and I'm so happy to be here" vibe that Miraak has once he gets more comfortable and lets go of the Miraak persona and embraces his true self <3

Now for the WYGTYA as a whole and general vibes:

I find myself listening to "Thunderbrew" by David Arkenstone a lot while writing, and since it has such a tavern-y vibe to it, this could be the theme for the fellowship whenever they are at a tavern having fun, drinking, eating and being in their natural habitat 🤣

"People of the land" by Jan Valta is the absolute perfect song for showing beautiful landscapes of both Morrowind and Skyrim, while also being the perfect song for Ravonna’s inner struggles to figure out whether she feels more at home in Skyrim, the land of her people, or in Morrowind, the land where she grew up. This is also the Civil War storyline theme, in my heart :')

"City of Sails" by Inon Zur is a theme that I don't know how to explain, without giving away spoilers :)))) It has ties to Ravonna's family, but will also represent the land of High Rock (yes, the story will go there too🤣) Also this one is one of those songs that I am kind of emotionally attached to, for some reason. I just wish I lived within this song, in a way.

And for the extra ocs:

For Endryn, I have "Tavern" by Jason Hayes, this one is pretty obvious, he is my beloved innkeeper dunmer oc who adopted Ravonna. He was very friendly, kind, stressed and quite funny, dad joke expert.

For Hjaldir, my other beloved oc, the nord bard that worked at the Inn where Ravonna grew up, because he is an ex-pirate, I'm going for "Moonlight Serenade" by Klaus Badelt. I don't associate him with the character Jack Sparrow all that much, but this song draws the perfect image of a charming and charismatic pirate, and the tune is incredibly melodious, so it really fits his bard persona well! Also, the intense part is perfect for his adventurous and danger-filled life. He's got many, many stories from his pirate days 😉

If you made it until here, I literally love you so much! Thank you for reading my ramblings. I could talk about songs and music all day!

I'm tagging my usual favourite mutuals @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @thelavenderelf @nerevar-quote-and-star Y'all already know you don't have to do this if you don't want to 💖💖 just ignore me and if I'm being annoying with the tag games, do let me know. This is not my intention at all! I will stop tagging you if you don't want to participate.

[kittenchrissy]

Glance, favorite and change for the Kitten 💕

Hiii n' thanks for the question cute kitten💗💗💗

Glance : At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?

Most of all, his eyes stand out in the image of Christian Due to the fact that Chris often puts makeup on his eyes, they become bigger and brighter. The blue color of the iris becomes more saturated, attracting and charming those who look into Chris' eyes. Nothing complicated, just a visual deception, but it works 100%% But his eyebrows play an equally important role. As a rule, no one looks at the eyebrows specifically, but when looking at the face, people notice their location with peripheral vision in order to determine the emotion on the interlocutor's face. Christian has a certain shape of eyebrows (the inner corner is larger than the outer corner. + they are absolutely straight). It feels like Chris never frowns. Therefore, it gives the impression of a lighter and friendlier look. People like it My kitten seems very kind and what a surprise people feel when they recognize his more bitchy and sarcastic side. There is dissonance in their heads

Favorite : Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?

I don't know if you can call it accessories, but a cigarette case and a gasoline lighter They are made in silver color. The lighter is smooth, cold, unremarkable. The only thing Chris likes about this lighter is the sound of the lid closing. It is very meditative to open and close the lighter. Christian is very pleased But the cigarette case has a more interesting appearance. There is an impression of a grinning tiger's muzzle on the case. Thanks to the three-dimensional drawing, Chris can drive around the cigarette case with his fingers, feeling a pleasant relief. These sensations help to relieve some nervous tension. Usually, when Chris has a panic attack, he starts fiddling with his cigarette case. It's as if this small cigarette storage is Christian's fast-beating heart, which he holds in his hands and tries to calm him down. Why a cigarette case and a gasoline lighter? Because it looks more solid than cardboard and plastic. In addition, the metal is much stronger and more reliable. Therefore, Christian's choice is obvious Chris does not part with these two things, as he has a nicotine addiction. This is his water and air, without which he cannot do in life. Always, everywhere and no matter under what circumstances

Change : Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?

After Christian left his parents, he changed dramatically. His style of clothing became more free and bold (but no less elegant), flashy tattoos and piercings appeared on his body. This change of style marked the release of Chris from the shackles of corpo life, restrictions and strict rules. Christian's life has changed. Christian has changed This is the first and most likely the last big change for the entire time of its existence, since Chris does not like changes. It's always a huge stress that takes a long time to get used to. Therefore, he will prefer to freeze everything and everyone in the millennial ice so that nothing changes. All for his own peace of mind

[ MEME ]

[will-ja-afton]

Hello this may be awkward but I’m trying to inform myself on the personality disorders so I better understand it! Could you maybe give some stuff about how you deal with it?/nf

Hopefully this isn’t awkward

This is such a strange ask on multiple levels. On one hand, I want to be nice, as you're clearly asking in good faith, but on the other hand, I'm not an expert or therapist and I don't have anything but my personal experiences to go off of. Of course, I also don't owe you, a stranger, anything, but I'm feeling nice, so I will give you a basic and then much more personal rundown, regardless.

First, there are three different clusters of personality disorders: A, which includes:

Paranoid personality disorder (PPD)

Schizoid personality disorder (SPD)

Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD)

B, which includes:

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)

Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

C, which includes:

Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD)

Dependent personality disorder (DPD)

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCDPD, not to be confused with OCD)

It's best to do your own research on any and all disorders you wish to learn about, as describing each is not my place, is frankly a lot to handle, and is much easier than reaching out to strangers online, especially those who only fit within a single cluster. I have HPD and BPD personally, so I fall within cluster B, as do... all of our headmates, because that's usually how the brain works, although every system has the capacity to be different in many, often surprising ways. HPD is often characterized by:

Constantly seeking attention

Excessively emotional, dramatic, or sexually provocative to gain attention

Speaks dramatically with strong opinions, but few facts or details to back them up

Easily influenced by others

Shallow, rapidly changing emotions

Excessive concern with physical appearance

Thinks relationships with others are closer than they really are

while BPD is often characterized by:

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as having unsafe sex, gambling, or binge eating

Unstable or fragile self-image

Unstable and intense relationships

Up and down moods, often as a reaction to interpersonal stress

Suicidal behavior or threats of self-injury

Intense fear of being alone or abandoned

Ongoing feelings of emptiness

Frequent, intense displays of anger

Stress-related paranoia that comes and goes

We actually fit with all of these descriptors perfectly, though you don't need to fit with all of them, or at least outwardly express all of these traits to have these. The same goes for any other personality disorder, mental illness, deficit, disorder, and the like. You also cannot be diagnosed if the symptoms you're experiencing aren't an active detriment to your life, as in keeping you from doing school or holding a job, or generally being adequately distressing to go through on a fairly often basis. This, again, goes for any mental illness, deficits, disorders, and the like. The biggest way we have to deal with BPD and HPD is through mood stabilizers. Sometimes we can semi-voluntarily shut down our emotions, like refreshing a page, but when we do feel emotions, we feel them hard. It hits you all at once like a bullet train and it hurts, even if it's a good emotion. You feel as if you're stuck that way, and you forget that this, too, shall pass. You feel like you're going to feel that way forever. And then, lo and behold, you don't. You've grayed so many hairs, and for what? How stupid must you be to have a breakdown because you can't figure out how to tie a tie? That's how it feels. It feels like the world is going to end and you just want love and validation but you also want to scream and cry and rip everything to shreds. We've learned to keep suicidal thoughts, feelings, and ideations to ourselves because we know they'll be gone right after we calm down. We've learned to not threaten suicide. We're obsessed with the relationships we have now, and that can come to our detriment because we have to bottle up mentions of suicidal behavior, so as not to harm someone very dear to us, who happens to be traumatized by that same behavior from an ex. I impulsively stabbed my pillow the other night in frustration. Twice. A pillow we love and hold onto very tight every night. Things are hard. Without our mood stabilizers, they could be much harder. Without them, our "obsession" turns into a pure, volatile kind of obsession. We have a "yandere" blog to log these feelings in a healthy way now. Things suck. But they could suck so much worse. And I'm glad to not only have found love (you should research "favorite person" or "fp" a common symptom in those with BPD. Others in cluster B have similar titles for their person or people of choice, however, as far as I can tell, they are community terms with little to no posts anywhere online about them specifically, let alone medical and/or scientific papers mentioning it), but I'm glad to have all these people for me. Even if we need exorbitant amounts of attention. Even if we get overly emotional over very small things. Even when we get paranoid and need constant reassurance You, nor anyone who thinks these thoughts or feels these ways are broken, and there's no such thing as a thought crime. You're as good of a person as you want to be, though that's no excuse for choosing not to improve, of course. ...That's a weird thing for an old child murderer to say, ha! Of course, I'm no longer that man, but it's still humorous to me, nonetheless.

I hope any of this helps at all. Keep in mind that this is all very much a personal account, and, as such, it might not apply to others... Although I hope it does in some way, otherwise that would be strange.

[khaosophist]

Hololive stuff barged into my feed.

I cannot stress enough how close I would have been to being obsessed with those streamers.

I know this because I would be interested in them even though I've never watched one stream.

Kiryu Coco was my favorite.

I'm feeling like I've got all this care bottled up just for Anime girls, and when I want to transmute that it just dies. But where did this attention come from?

I'm thinking of how 4chan changed my perspectives. The '3d pig digusting' aspect of this. The rampant misogyny 'Tits or gtfo.'. Why was I interested? All I'm getting is that I felt like I was in an in-group. This is really hard to write about because every time I think of those gluts in my life. I believe I shouldn't have what I have today. It doesn't matter that I changed. What matters is that I frequented such spaces in the first place. I think it didn't affect my social life much because of the idea of hiding one's power level. I had mixed the idea of Anime with 4chan, so I never expressed the kind of things that festered there. Eventually I developed enough interests to filter what I consulted. I don't remember how I found out about 4chan, but I can separate my past between newgrounds, and 4chan.

I remember going to newgrounds in elementary school. It wasn't blocked. Now , how the hell did I find the 18+ section? I went to play ganguro girls at the class computer while other guys were there. Went to a hot spring date...Totally normal. Nevermind the other kids were interested.

Anyways, I was a natural in navigating the internet, and computers, I mean, I found my brother's horrible, terrible stash. I say this in hindsight. All that interested me was the sex. Fuck, now I remember Immoral sisters was it? Just...I for sure know I'm not the same person anymore. God, maybe that's where the idea that one can consent to a rape because it feels good. But it's not like a fictional character has a choice in the first place...I don't remember the storyline in that hentai. I don't want to. But the images are vivid. Oh, fun! Now I remember Bible black. Yippee. I'm sure it didn't affect me. Nope, it's not like I had the means to understand what was going on. I'll write this again, what is up with all the Sexual assault in hentai? Did my brother even understand himself what the fuck he was watching? Why did he suck so much in hiding his porn. If a ten year old finds it in your computer, like...Encrypt it. SOMETHING!

Isn't it fun that he married a victim of SA. Does she even know the kind of shit he watched for years? I don't think he has ANY idea of what I know about him. It's not like I want to talk about it with him, because all I feel is blame, or want for an explanation. Blackmail as one's first hentai at...what...fucking...10?

Which leads me to what happened when I was seven. I was being babysat by my Godfather. Went to sleep. Got up during the night, aaaand, guess what was playing on the TV while my Godfather was on the computer? Guess 🤡☠️. She was laying on her hands and knees with high black boots. She had blonde hair. Hahahaha. How can adults suck so fucking much? Seven! SEVEN!

My wife saved me. She's everything. She believed that I could help myself, and that I could ask for her help. So I did. I opened up to her. I'm such at a better place, it's insane. She knows who I am, and who I want to be. I know not to make the same mistakes as them. I might make my own mistakes, but I hope my children will know to be better where they can, Like I do.

Have a tree. That's all for now.

[saint-starflicker]

I personally was taught at school that sentence construction bypasses communication barriers: "When you [behavior] I feel so-and-so because [reason]." This is so that when the behavior is harmful, the person behaving harmfully would change or use the knowledge to wrangle a compromise that you can both be happy with. Because you communicated properly. So they understand. But the book Call Me Hope by Gretchen Olson reflected my own experience with trying to exercise that in real life, which is the realization that most people outside the classroom do not care about changing or making amends if they hurt you. A lot of people are set in ways committed to committing harm, whether that's because they consider you an acceptable target, or because they are attached to an image of themselves as good people and so refuse to take criticism.

I picked up on what I think is an evolved version of that communication barrier bypassing sentence construction, which is a series of sentences and an underlying attitude. The acronym is how to talk with somebody that is U.P.S.E.T. and behaving badly because of it. Approach with a commitment to Understanding and Perseverance, then issue the Sympathetic statement ("I am on your side, I am your friend and ally, and will love and support you") followed by the Empathetic statement ("You must be feeling outraged, frustrated, and hurt" "I'm sensing anger" "You must be disappointed " reflecting back on the mindset and feelings) and finally issue the Truth statement ("But that's no excuse for suicide-baiting, because however stressed out you are by disagreeing, you don't know what the person you said that to is going through and it has nothing to do with making your case for your favorite fictional character".)

I cannot do that. From what I learned from the failure of "I-Statements" (that "I feel XYZ because when you ABC it causes so-and-so" stuff), perseverance is a waste of life and there's nothing to understand from a harmful person. The Sympathy and Empathy statements taste condescending and manipulative, and I would really rather jump right to the Truth.

I have resolved conflicts without these methods, but the people I resolved it with were willing to hear me out and have those difficult and necessary conversations in the first place. They know themselves well enough to deescalate a conflict without trying to ignore it or without frustrating the people it affects with their cowardice and dodginess until the issue explodes. Instead, these gems can work through the source of it in their own attitudes deeply, admit to ulterior motives and trust that it won't get twisted by their admission, and they enjoy thinking up of compromises and sustainable solutions for genuine change. Whatever trouble they've taken to adjust is often rewarded by the vicarious joy they take in others being happier, and honestly I'm very often the same way. If it's an adjustment that can't be made without resentment, these types are honest about their limitations.

A lot of people can't be arsed to be that way too much of the time or really at any amount of time, or there's some temporary improved behavior before the resentment shows that they ever had to hear anything bad about themselves in the first place or had to change. I find that in those cases there's nothing to do and nowhere to go with people.

[laniaakea]

I told my mother that i cut myself, because she was gonna find out sooner or later, and i knew she would understand because she has dealt with similar issues. she told my dad, however, who lives literally 1000 km away. He is very much freaked out by this, and is now viewing all the things i told him and my issues and struggles through a completely new lens. He is now convinced there is some likelihood that i will commit suicide, and i don't know how to tell him that i thought about it for a long time, but decided against it. i don't know how he would feel if he knew i have been hurting myself in some way on and off for six years. he is very worried and does not want my mother to let me out of her sight, because according to him it's a risk he cannot take.

i wish he had seen my struggles earlier, but it's also true that i concealed them from him. at the same time i am glad i did, because i have a hard time dealing with the reaction he is having right now. but at the same time: what gives him the right to try to control my every step, and to worry about something that i managed to get over, by myself, without any outside help? I fucking did it. i slowly changed the way i perceive life, until i did not want to kill myself anymore. or at least, was neutral towards my death at worst, and actively thought "i want to live" at best. and now, after six years of me getting through this shit on my own, and managing just fine all things considered, he gets to cry because i was not answering my phone, because the network had a problem? get a hold of yourself man

i am an adult now, and i want your help, not your sense of guilt over all the shit i've been put through and all the shit you failed to notice or dismissed because you felt like you had bigger fish to fry (which, in your defense, you did), so i don't even know where this whole issue is coming from, except the fact that you think i wanna kill myself, and, let's be real, it could be true, but i made sure that it wouldn't be, years ago already. for about year i thought about killing myself every day. but i realized i didn't really want that. then, i was just waiting for an excuse to do it. along the lines of: next thing that goes really wrong, i'm done with this shit

then i started being busier, having an image to uphold and a decent future to build... and then my suicidal ideation just turned into intrusive thoughts, that faded when i felt better, and became a little more vivid when i was more stressed, but were still so far removed from reality that i could just ignore them.

but he does not need to know all this, so i guess i'll just have to humour him

[kittttycakes]

Life has been good thanks, other than the struggle of slowly coming to accept that work and study is about to consume me once more though.

I’m so excited you could reserve it! Libby sounds fantastic and I am so sad that we don’t have it here. Each book is a good 800 or so pages of tiny print (a little hard on the eyes but I love big books and I cannot lie). I’ve exhausted everything for that fandom on Ao3 and mentally berating myself for not pacing myself.

Do you mind sharing what you’re currently reading?

R.e. The OT3, I remember you mentioning the staff party where they confuse everyone about their relationship. Do you think this is intentional on any of their parts?

I love the idea of Hob making the New Inn a space for people to celebrate who may not have anywhere else to go. If some of his students end up coming while Morpheus and Grace are there, I wonder if they pick up on the nature of their professors’ relationships.

The thought of Grace’s Mum knitting Morpheus a sweater and him being emotional is just too much!!! I need to know though, is it colourful or does she stick to blacks? Somewhat daggy or tasteful?

The new year traditions sound fun too, especially the red underwear… how did Morpheus help Grace choose them I wonder? I have a mental image of Grace leading Morpheus into a lingerie shop to get his opinion and modelling a few options from the change room. Morpheus looking at some of the styles for inspiration to craft something made of dreamsilk for later perhaps?

And the fact that they love just being together the most is the best. I love that picture of them all curled up together in front of the fire, hands tucked away into a stolen sweater or wandering between someone else’s clothes and skin to warm them up.

Please don’t stress about the chapter, I am super excited but it will be ready when it is ready, and worth any wait. But it is not worth you burning yourself out or losing the pleasure you find in writing!

This is one of the busier times at work for me too, so I definitely feel that! Hopefully there will still be some pockets of time to take for yourself, too!

I love Libby so much, I’m so grateful my library has it! I used to be a very staunch physical books only person until a few years ago, and while there’s still nothing like holding a book in your hands, I have to admit, I do love the e-book option too.

I am always down to talk about what I’m currently reading! Right now, I’m about halfway through Victor LaValle’s Lone Women. I read The Devil In Silver a year or two ago and really liked it, and so far, I’m enjoying this one too! I love horror, and I think LaValle does a really good horror when it comes to creature features that highlight the horror of humanity. Before that, I finished Alasdair Gray’s Poor Things, which I’m still forming an opinion on. Sometimes I immediately know how I feel about a book, and other times, I need to let it sit for a few days before I can decide.

It’s absolutely intentional on Hob’s part. Messing with people, especially when it’s really harmless, is just fun for him, and it’s as close as he can get to really advertising that yes, these two beautiful people are his spouses and yes, they both chose him and isn’t that wonderful?

The students definitely have a better grasp of what’s going on than some of the department does, if only because they see them in a different context than the faculty parties and rushed meetings in the hallway. They’re also very perceptive when they want to be (and somewhat nosy) and perhaps a bit more willing to recognize a slightly more unconventional relationship structure when it’s being dangled right under their noses. (None of them can explain the bird, though. Some of them have sworn they’ve heard it talk, but that’s ridiculous, ravens don’t talk.)

I think it would be suited to his tastes! Her mum probably asked Grace and she of course told her that all he ever really wears is black, and even though black yarn is an absolute nightmare to work with, her mum still made it because that’s what he likes! (Hob, naturally, also has one, but his is a very lovely red and was gifted years ago.)

I love the idea of Grace taking Morpheus with her to look at lingerie. It’s hard to shop online for that sort of thing, sometimes! She wants to see the color in person, and she values Morpheus’s input. They definitely go at an off time so there aren’t as many people in and they can have a more private (and quieter) shopping experience. (Morpheus spends half the visit making extensive mental notes on what he plans to add to Grace’s wardrobe in the Dreaming later. He can multitask!)

There’s something very novel about that kind of closeness, for Morpheus, and really for all of them. It’s somewhere that none of them are too much, they’re all just right!

I’m excited to finish it out! The fic has been with me for so long and I’ve loved every minute of it but I’m also very much looking forward to nearly wrapping it all up and giving it the ending it deserves!

[whoonearthisike]

august 9th

So, I am hitting a new rock bottom and I have no one to talk to, so I just want to put this out there. I've seen sometimes it helps. Here it goes: Last month I made it to 28 years old (yay!) and age has been really triggering for me.

I live in a shared flat with rotating roommates, 80% of the time they are awful: they don't respect other people's sleep, they don't clean… I am saving money to buy a house, but it seems impossible. The town where I live is a big city and the prices are just awful, I don't want to move out because (1) my job is here and (2) I'm from another small town and this is the only place in the mainland that I know, so I don't feel safe getting out.

I'm gay, and I have never been in a relationship. I've had a couple of sexual experiences but were fast and weird and I feel shame more that anything (cruising and things like that since is the only thing I could get myself into).

Alongside point 2, I have been bullied and harassed for as long as I can remember. I never had a safe space until I moved out oh my hometown. Never had a core group of friends that actually treated me well, I am kind of the clown of the group, so If im not making people laugh they lose interest in me. As a result of this, I do not know how to make friends, and cannot trust anyone who actually seems nice to me, I keep thinking that either they secretly hate me (which has been the case in the past, i.e friends who were being racist/homophobic on my back) or they feel sorry for me and just hang out with me out of pity (also happened)

I'm fat (chubby?) I've had body image issues and eating disorders since I was around 11. I don't think I'm ugly, I'm kind of cute, however definitely not the right body. A couple of years back I was able to lose some decent weight (During COVID) because the world basically stopped, my job became a more steady and not very stressful, so I was able to control my life more. Now, my job is extremely stressful, my housing situation is getting worse (new roommates, 0 respect) and the stress is too much. I just cannot get into the whole dieting + exercise thing. I have tried, but when I work out I get too overwhelmed and just start to have panic attack that ends up with me crying and smashing things.

My grandma past away 18 months ago. It hit my mom too hard, and she is really struggling to get back on her feet. My dad is not in the picture. Now my grandad is sick and needs constant care. My uncles are… well. They are not doing as much as they should. So it's my mom the one who split herself between her full time job and caring for him. I am temporarily back in my hometown to spend some time with her, but being back here has really crushed me.

I came out to my mom months ago, and she took it really well. I don't want to come out to the rest of my family because I think it will create a breach between them and my mom. Also, I am not sure if I am ready for my relationship with them to change. I definitely know I will eventually go no contact with them, however is just … I don't have anyone else, and severing that will ACTUALLY mean I will be 100% alone in the world. I'm not even sure they like me. They love me out of family obligation.

Usually I can try to evade myself and get distracted by reading, watching TV, or music, but nothing works any more. With reading, I got lately into romance novels, but I do not relate at all to straight stories, and gay romance novels just remind me of all the things I did not have (when is about young people) or all the thing I won't have. Horror used to be one of my favourite genres, but I just get nothing out of it any more. It has been a while since I read a decent thriller. Same thing with TV: I have been watching heartstopper, and it just makes me so sad. I am 28, and I am seeing these 15-year-old boys being loved, and cared for, getting into relationships and having someone they belong to, and I get so sad and so angry about not having that, and being too old to experience it. Gay people my age are almost exclusively into hookup culture. I can't stand music any more: All songs talk about love, sex, and just like everything else a constant reminder of all the things i am missing. So now I just spend my days scrolling through tiktok, avoiding overcomplicated tasks at work (I work from home), feeling bad every time I eat and hate myself afterwards, and just waiting for one day to be over and do the same thing again. I'm on antidepressant, but they are clearly not doing much. Health system in my country (South Europe) has been getting so bad I cannot even make an appointment with my doctor. I have been dealing with suicidal thoughts, and the very worst part of it is that I know I am not going to do it. It's almost 1am, and I just needed to vent. I don't have any close friends I can tell all of this. In a couple of days, I'm getting out of my hometown, and will try and see what small steps I can take to regain some control on my life. But I do feel like is way too late. Im 28, and most 18 years old have more friends, are hotter, live more, have been in more relationships, than me. I just feel so left behind and is impossible for me to catch up.

[davidstadd96472]

Hello everyone, I am David, a semi-self taught mathematician. Inspired to pursue mathematics after I discovered G.H.Hardy, and his major contributions to analysis. I am not mathematically talented but rather diligent, persistent, and rigourous. 

I have been assigned Damien Hirst 1992 The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living.

facts:

The piece consists of a 14-foot tiger shark suspended and preserved in formaldehyde, in a vitrine.

It was sold for 12 million dollars. 

The artist mainly makes contemporary art for the shock factor. 

The piece was commissioned rather than made explicitly. 

 It is now owned by the hedge fund titan, Steven A.

3. Write a short paragraph (4 sentences) answering these questions: Did the way you think about the art change from the first time you looked at it? Do you see anything different in the art now? (50 points)

My viewpoint of the piece definitely changed from the first time I viewed it. At first I was simply analyzing the piece for its beauty and simplicity. I sort of re-read the title of the piece and it took on another meaning. The shark is frozen in time for eternity in this solution. The color of the suspension liquid is blue to represent the ocean. The shark is suspended to signify that the shark is doing what is naturally does, but rather now it is dead. It has a rather eerie feel to it because the shark has life like qualities but also it is dead. We as humans are eventually going to die, but we don't stop to consider this often times. This piece reminds us of our mortality and that life is never guaranteed. 

I painted this about a year ago, I have been painting fish since I was 13 years old. I only paint about 1 painting a year; I have talent but not a whole lot of passion for painting. The painting is acrylic on wood. My uncle actually fininshed this by making it into a coffee table and used polyurethane to seal it. My mother insisted I add more fish to the panting as I originally only had the one large trout, which I think ruined it. I liked the simplicity. I am only talented in painting fish. I cannot paint anything else. I have tried to paint other things but I just understand intuitively how to paint the 3 dimensional “warping?” of metallic things. I can paint cars decently and fish fairly well, but that’s about it. I think it is useful in that it is now a coffee table in someone’s home (sold it). I think it holds value in that it is entertainment. I think all my paintings are beautiful for about a week and then I feel the need to destroy them due to the image in my head not manifesting how I wanted it to in reality.

3. By baggage I assume the feelings and emotions you carry with you. I carry a lot of stress being a mathematician. I am constantly thinking about very abstract concepts which can break my brain sometimes. Although, because of mathematics I see patterns in everything, especially artwork much better than I did before. I am 21 years old. I am a male, I am Russian. I work a part time job at a supermarket that helps with tuition.  I like to fish, sometimes paint, and enjoy nature/exercise.  

I am fascinated by the patterns and structures of things found in numbers. Here I drew an image of a Torus ( a well defined geometric shape). An operator to represent a surgery taking place on the Torus, and a billfish through the Torus.  These things sort of encompass part of who I am in one image.

[dianaseepha]

Final

Reflection Flowers are one of nature's beautiful creations, however, like most beautiful things, they will start to die over time. But with Lego flowers, they cannot die because it is pieces of plastic. And as you see the images, you start to realise how the human has started to resemble and become the flower wilting away. 

I knew I wanted to work with photo manipulation for the photographic campaign. After researching ideas and artists, I wanted to use props for symbolism. Heavily inspired by Cho Gi Seok, a Korean photographer who dabbles with surrealism and editorial photography. He incorporates his Korean heritage into his practice by using a staple piece ie. an orchid; that has meaning to him and creates a series of images with it. Another artist who inspired me is Nhu Xuan Hua, another photographer who experiments with editorial and fashion. Since both their work is very similar, I am able to take each process from each photographer. They use a form of manipulation and work a lot with portrait. Whilst looking a Nhu Xuan Hua’s work, a specific image caught my eye so I used that as a reference. The model had a single flower covering her eye in natural lighting, there was something about it that made me drawn to it. There were not many flowers blooming at the time of shooting so I was lucky enough to use my Lego flowers. Since that was my first shoot, I was only figuring out what lighting I wanted to use and how I was going to tell the story. I created makeshift lighting by using a mirror and reflecting it onto my model's face, however, when using natural lighting, I did not have much control, therefore, I knew I wanted to utilise the lighting studio so that I am in control of the lighting. We had to take many breaks since the reflection of the sun was too bright but we were also losing sunlight at the same time. 

During a discussion with a classmate, I mentioned that I wanted my work to be in an art gallery exhibition and they mentioned how it is fitting since my artist research gave them different emotions when looking at their work, and that helped me come up with my concept and what I wanted for future shoots. For the second shoot, I booked the lighting studio. I recreated the images that I took from the first shoot and used different Lego flowers as well. I thought of how I wanted to manipulate these images so I had my model drop the Lego daisies and hopefully they were captured. That took many tries since I had to change the shutter speed which meant I had to change the lighting and the f/stop. By the time I did my third and last shoot, I was quite confident in the direction I wanted to go in after I had a discussion with Natalie, she talked about how I could use the images that have a close up then gradually shows the model’s body. I never thought of it like that since I just took the images whenever I had an idea. It made a lot of sense with how I wanted the story to go as it shows the Lego flowers intact then suddenly falling pieces to then the model looking like a flower. 

I showed some peers, who are not art students, the last image and asked their thoughts on how it made them feel and what they thought it looked like, they mentioned how it made them feel sad or how it looks like exhaustion. It made me think about how differently people interpret things when they don’t see the whole picture. They interpreted human emotions in the form of beautiful creations that are flowers. And the end of every life cycle, it starts to wilt. But with human emotions, we break down and become exhausted and stressed. 

 If I could do this photo campaign again, I would want to include mixed media as a form of manipulation. There were ideas of how I wanted the final images to look but I never know how it would turn out if I included mixed media. I really enjoyed manipulated images last year so I wanted to explore that further in this campaign. Looking back I realise that not all manipulation lies in post-production but also during the photo-taking stage. I would want to get used to using different colours in my work; using different backdrops and using a colour lens filter. I wish to get better at manipulating on Photoshop and being more creative with how I want to manipulate my images. I have only used one model, so for future shoots, I want to have more than one model and work with different groups of people.