#I AM CRYING WHY DID I UNLEASH THIS ABOMINATION UPON THE EARTH

[hey-its-puddlesock]

I'M SORRY I AM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME

Lord have mercy upon anyone on this taglist: @aldriix, @happi-tree, @elle-cosmic-chaos, @darcysd20, @monarch2800, @yourpersonaltimebomb, @your-local-hurt-comfort-junkie-1, @reyraccoon

Send an ask if you'd like to be added, I have no idea why you'd want to be added after this

As Andrias stepped through the portal, relishing the crackle of electricity against his damp skin as he put an enormous foot down on the soil of a new world, he took a deep breath of the air that was soon to be his as he surveyed his future territory.

Cars squealed to a stop on the busy highway in front of him, swerving to avoid each other as people stopped to stare at the enormous newt standing on the overpass. He gave them a genial wave. A few brave souls tentatively waved back.

The king prepared to step out into his new domain, but a figure in the corner of his eye stopped him. They were tall, by the standards of any normal creature (Andrias knew himself to be an exception). Their face was covered with a mask of pale gold with a pair of horns like those of a beetle reaching into the sky. Piercing blue eyes shined in the hollow sockets of the mask, seeming to bore into Andrias’s very soul. He felt his mouth become dry and his cheeks flush as he stared at the stranger.

They walked towards each other across the crowded freeway, ignoring the cars that were piling up and overturning around them. When the screeching vehicles got too close, the masked figure would blast them away with a blast of energy from the staff they carried at their side, while Andrias would simply nudge them aside with an oversized boot. The two of them found themselves being pulled together, almost magnetically, as tires squealed and cars overturned around them. They met in the middle of the street and stared, awestruck, into each other’s eyes.

The mysterious figure removed their mask, revealing a withered face marred with a stripe of rotted green across the middle and a head topped with a crown of greasy, tangled hair. He was the most beautiful man Andrias had ever seen. The king found himself, for once, at a loss for words.

The stranger spoke for him. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, reaching up to place a gnarled hand against Andrias’s cheek but coming up short by a few feet. The newt made up the distance by kneeling down to the pavement. “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

“Nor I you,” Andrias laughed, one of the first moments of genuine joy he’d had in hundreds of years. He gently offered an enormous hand to the man, who gently grasped the tip of his index finger. “But I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. May I ask your name?”

The man smiled, a miscolored blush rising in his cheeks. “Emperor Belos, of the Boiling Isles, at your service.” He swept into a deep bow, not taking his lovestruck gaze off of the king. “And you, my blue knight?”

“Andrias Leviathan, lord of Amphibia, peacekeeper of one thousand years and the first of my name.” he gave the emperor a bashful smile, not quite meeting his piercing blue eyes. “But you can call me Ani, if you’d like.”

“I think I’d like that very much,” Belos looked lovingly up at Andrias, whose moist amphibian skin glistened in the light of the fires from the car wrecks piled around the pair of them. “What are you doing in the Human Realm, Ani?”

Andrias’s face split into a wide grin. He swept his enormous arm out, gesturing widely to the city spread out before them. “I’m going to conquer this world,” he declared. “And add it to my glorious empire!”

The emperor said nothing, leaving the newt to look back anxiously, wondering if he had said something wrong. Instead he was met with the sight of Belos grinning from ear to ear and flapping his hands like a giddy schoolgirl. “Ani, you’ll never believe what I’m doing.”

“Shut the front door!” Andrias squealed in excitement. “Who would’ve known we would have so much in common?”

Both their faces turned dark as they looked off into the distance. “Now if only I could get rid of that human girl—” they spoke in unison before stopping short and turning to each other in delight.

“No way, you too?” Andrias gasped. “Let me guess, plucky teenager who was trapped in your world by mistake, and now has a ride-or-die group of friends and found family trying to help her get home?” the newt chuckled, not expecting his overly specific description to be at all accurate.

“How did you know?” Belos gripped Andrias’s enormous hand with both of his own. “And she won’t stop interfering with my plans—”

“For world domination?” the newt interrupted, astounded by the parallels between the pair of them.

Belos nodded emphatically. “Yes, exactly! Ani, I know we’ve just met but it’s as if we’ve known each other forever.” He gazed earnestly into the king’s enormous eyes.

“I, um,” the newt stumbled over his words a bit before clearing his throat and trying again. “Are you doing anything? Like, right now?”

“Of course, I’m with you, aren’t I?”

The king took a deep breath, steeling himself for the question at the back of his throat. He took a deep breath before he was interrupted.

“Do you want to go out with me?” the emperor blurted, his cheeks flushing a pale green.

With a chuckle, Andrias brought his hands up over his face. “No, I was so ready,” he blushed, grinning sheepishly at the man standing just at the height of his knee.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you can say it,” Belos responded with a bashful smile.

Andrias took another breath. “Emperor Belos, do you want to go out with me?”

“Yes!”

They stood there for a moment before sheepishly moving towards each other. Andrias knelt as close to the ground as he could, leaning down towards the emperor who stood on tiptoe to reach. Their lips met, Belos’s face completely enveloped in the newt’s slimy snout. Neither one could tell how long they stayed like that; The sounds of car alarms and police sirens faded into beautiful music as they kissed, moist amphibian skin against dry, withered flesh. Finally, they pulled away, both euphoric from the experience.

“I’m sorry,” Andrias murmured as he stared into the emperor’s ice-blue orbs. “In my millennium of life, I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“It was lovely,” Belos assured, holding one of the king’s fingers in his hands.

“So… how about a date?” Andrias looked away, glancing shyly from the corners of his eyes.

Belos smiled softly. “A date sounds lovely.”

The newt stood, leaning sideways to allow the witch at his side to reach up and grasp his finger.

“Now, do you have any tips on getting rid of annoying human teenagers?” Belos asked as they weaved through the wreckage of the highway around them toward the sunset.

“Oh, absolutely. Have you considered investing in fire swords?”