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gunterfan1992 · 4 years ago

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Season One of “Adventure Time”: Short Episode Reviews

At the start of 2021, I had this idea to write up a book wherein I reviewed every episode of Adventure Time, condensing my thoughts down into a few paragraphs. It seemed easy enough at the time —I could knock a season out in a week, no prob, I thought — but it turns out it was quite the challenge. Part of this was the difficulty of boiling everything down into a few coherent paragraphs that didn’t just repeat the ideas that “This episode is wacky. This episode is bad.” (I was also dealing with untreated ADHD, so that probably didn’t help.) Even though it was a hurdle, I still got through seasons 1-4, and I thought I’d post my reviews here. Maybe one day I’ll do something with ‘em, but for now, enjoy!

Season 1, Episode 1. “Slumber Party Panic” (692-009)

Airdate: April 5, 2010

Production Information: Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Synopsis: Princess Bubblegum accidentally resurrects a violent mob of candy zombies, which leads to Finn doing the unthinkable: He breaks a royal promise to Bubblegum.

Commentary: It is always a delight to remind people that Adventure Time—a show that would go on to win a slew of prestigious awards and be lauded by critics as one of the smartest kids show that has ever been made—begins with Princess Bubblegum “add[ing] three more drops of explosive diarrhea” to a scientific mixture with which she hopes to bring the dead back to life. This elision of a macabre topic like the resurrection of the dead with a poop joke is in many ways emblematic of the sort of humor upon which Adventure Time was built, and while “Slumber Party Panic” might not be the season��s best episode, it does a solid job introducing the odd, madcap energy that would allow the show to flourish in its youth.

The plot to “Slumber Party Panic”—storyboarded by future series director Elizabeth Ito as well as eventual showrunner Adam Muto—was hammered out well before the show’s mythology was set in stone, and so some of the more hyperbolic plot points from this episode (e.g., the dramatic revelation that candy citizens explode when scared, or the fact that the Gumball Guardians are also the nigh-omnipotent Guardians of the Royal Promise, who can stop and reverse time itself) had to be ignored in later seasons. Nevertheless, the main characters’ personalities are all firmly established, allowing them to play off one another in a way that does not feel forced or misguided; Jeremy Shada and John DiMaggio, in particular, have excellent chemistry, breathing whimsical life into Finn and Jake right off the bat. All things considered, “Slumber Party Panic” is a fun entry and a solid preview of the silliness that was to come. (3.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 2. “Trouble in Lumpy Space” (692-015)

Airdate: April 5, 2010

Commentary: “Trouble in Lumpy Space” is a Ito-Muto production that introduces us to Lumpy Space Princess, the loquacious and dramatic drama queen who was destined to become one of the show’s breakout stars. A sentient blob of “irradiated stardust,” Lumpy Space Princess is an alien valley girl parody voiced by none other than series creator Pendleton Ward himself, and this episode does a commendable job illustrating the character’s immaturity and her ridiculously inflated sense of self-importance. This makes for good entertainment in and of it itself, but what really bumps this episode up a peg is the vocal delivery of the cast. Adventure Time always excelled when it came to its voice acting, but in this episode it is obvious that in this episode Jeremy Shada, John DiMaggio, and Pendleton Ward had extra fun playing around with their ridiculous “lumpy space” accents.

Aesthetically, this episode is quite the sensory experience. Lumpy Space itself is a hauntingly beautiful alien dimension of dark magenta skies and purple, pillowy clouds; it is a right shame that the show very rarely made use of this unique environment, considering how pleasant it is to look at. The episode’s soundtrack is also deserving of recognition, with much of the background music—especially the vapid pop tune that plays while Finn, Jake, and Lumpy Space Princess hitch a ride in Melissa’s car—recalling the elastic hyperpop that electro-wizzes from PC Music produce. The tunes add an extra dimension to the whole experience, helping to sell the idea that Lumpy Space is a silly but alien otherworld. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 3. “Prisoners of Love” (692-005)

Airdate: April 12, 2010

Production Information: Adam Muto and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists); Craig Lewis and Adam Muto (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Ice King! Beginning the series as a cartoonishly incompetent antagonist, Ice King would grow into one of the show’s most well-developed characters. While “Prisoners of Love,” being the character’s debut episode, sees the Ice King still in his one-dimensional “wicked wizard” stage, there are hints even at this early juncture—like the character’s dramatic insistence to pluck out a yogurt chip from his trail mix, or his spasmodic attempts to play the drums—that the Ice King is more than just a textbook baddie. Is he evil? Judging by his actions, it often looks that way, but there is also a deep sadness to him that makes even his worst behavior somewhat pitiful.

But as pathetic as he may be, Ice King’s lecherous habit of kidnapping princesses is completely unacceptable (Princesses, Adventure Time would like to remind us, should never be married against their will), and by episode’s end, Ice King receives his just desserts—a feminist-fueled kick to the face, courtesy of Finn the Human. The moral of the story is clear: Poor old Ice King might just be lonely, but that does not excuse him for acting like a frost-bitten incel. (3.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 4. “Tree Trunks” (692-016)

Airdate: April 12, 2010

Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Tree Trunks” introduces the audience to the eponymous character, voiced by Polly Lou Livingston, an eccentric octogenarian with a pronounced southern drawl whom Pendleton Ward knew growing up in Texas. Despite Tree Trunks appearing as a sweet old pachyderm, much of her dialog is riddled with double entendres and subtle sex jokes that go over the heads of children, and as such, she is something of a divisive character in the Adventure Time fandom: While some viewers find her hilarious, others find her decidedly off-putting. In this episode, however, storyboard artists Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn strike a decent balance between the character’s funny and creepy sides (case in point: The scene wherein Tree Trunks, in the gawdiest of makeup, tries to seduce an evil monster with her “womanly charms and elephant prowess”). The major exception to this overall balance is the episode’s decidedly morbid conclusion, which features Tree Trunks exploding after tasting the crystal apple. This was perhaps the show’s first non sequitur ending, and almost certainly left an indelible imprint on the minds of viewers young and old alike. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 5. “The Enchiridion!” (692-001)

Airdate: April 19, 2010

Production Information: Patrick McHale, Adam Muto, and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists and story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: According to the annals of cartoon history, the initial storyboard for “The Enchiridion” was whipped up by Ward and his crew members to prove to Cartoon Network that Adventure Time could be developed into a full-fledged series. This was almost certainly a stressful task, which necessitated that Ward et al. dissect the pilot, determine what elements worked, and then infuse those elements into a new storyboard. As a result of this “open art transplant,” there are quite a few analogs between the pilot and “The Enchiridion!”—e.g., the wacky dancing, the dream sequences, the ridiculous language—but this episode does a solid job of emulating the style of the pilot without wholesale duplicating it.

In terms of plot, “The Enchiridion!” is a fairly predictable adventure story, but it is one with enough clever variations that prevent the whole affair from dragging or being too boring; standout scenes include Finn and Jake having to deal with granny-zapping gnomes, and the D&D-inspired reverie in which Finn is tempted to slay an “unaligned” ant. The episode is further buoyed by several fun guest stars (including Mark Hamill, Fred Tatasciore, and even Black Flag’s Henry Rollins) that sprinkle a little additional energy on top of the whole thing. Given the exuberant fun of the episode and the way it easily introduces us to supporting characters like Princess Bubblegum, it is intriguing why the producers did not choose “The Enchiridion!” as the series premiere. That question aside, “The Enchiridion!” is one of the season’s stronger episode and an excellent place to start if you want a crash course in what made early Adventure Time so unique. (4 stars)

Season 1, Episode 6. “The Jiggler” (692-011)

Airdate: April 19, 2010

Production Information: Luther McLaurin and Armen Mirzaian (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “The Jiggler” opens on a fun, hyperactive note, with Finn singing “Baby,” a catchy song coated in layer upon layer of sweet, crisp autotune. But soon after Finn and Jake discover and “adopt” the titular creature, the affair quickly devolves into a cartoonish snuff film of two dullards accidentally torturing a wild animal; the whole thing is made worse by the high volume of bodily fluids excreted by the Jiggler. Thankfully, Finn and Jake are able to return the Jiggler to its mother before it keels over, but this victory is undermined given that the whole situation was Finn and Jake’s fault to begin with. Perhaps it is best to view all of this as a cautionary tale: No matter how cute a wild animal may look, you probably should not take it home and make it dance for you. (2 stars)

Season 1, Episode 7. “Ricardio the Heart Guy” (692-007)

Airdate: April 26, 2010

Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon, Adam Muto, and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Ricardio the Heart Guy” introduces the titular villain, the brainy-but-sleazy heart of the Ice King voiced to perfection by the sonorous George Takei. Given how arrogant the character acts even before his true intentions are revealed, it is not much of a shock that Ricardio is a rotten egg, and this lack of mystery drags the whole episode down to some degree. Nevertheless, Takei’s histronic performance injects into the episode a funny sort of melodrama, with is further reinforced by Casey James Basichis’s sparklingly dark score, which mixes in elements of opera alongside the usual chiptune blips and bloops to emphasize Ricardio’s pretentiousness. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 8. “Business Time” (692-014)

Airdate: April 26, 2010

Commentary: On the surface, “Business Time” is but a silly parody of corporate culture that sees Finn and Jake become the veritable CEOs of an adventuring firm. It is a silly little set up, and the show has good fun poking fun at business-speak and the deleterious effects of rampant corporatization. At the same time, by relegating Finn and Jake to the sidelines near the middle of the episode, “Business Time” does itself a disservice by focusing not on the wacky shenanigans of the business men, but rather on the mundanity of Finn and Jake’s “managerial life.” It all comes together in the end, when Finn and Jake are forced to jump into the fray and destroy the Business Men’s vacuum robot, but the noticeable lag there in the middle of everything throws the pacing of the episode off.

But while “Business Time” might not be the strongest first-season entry, it has gained respect in the fandom for being the first episode to underline that the Land of Ooo exists in the far future after some sort of nuclear holocaust. In an interview with USA Today, Ward explained that this was a natural development that he had never planned: “[When] we did [the] episode about businessmen rising up from an iceberg at the bottom of a lake … that made the world post-apocalyptic, and we just ran with it” (X). Considering how major the post-apocalyptic trappings would become to the show’s mythology, it is a bit startling to learn that it was added in on a whim. Regardless, it was an inspired choice that added a tinge of sadness to the story of Finn and Jake. They were not just frolicking in some fantasy world; they were frolicking in the ruins of our world, long after nuclear war had devasted the planet. Is it bleak? Absolutely! But this bleakness contrasts nicely with Adventure Time’s colorful surface, resulting in a deeply rich ambivalence. Not many shows—let alone children’s shows!—have managed to fuse such extremes into a workable whole. (3.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 9. “My Two Favorite People” (692-004)

Airdate: May 3, 2010

Production Information: Kent Osborne and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: Almost all the first-season episodes that we have considered so far have placed a heavy emphasis on comedy. The point of these episodes is to make you laugh, and anything beyond that is gravy. “My Two Favorite People,” in contrast, may be the first that is grounded on a solidly emotional foundation, and while the episode is very funny, it is primarily interested in telling the poignant story of two brothers and a gal they both like. If anyone has ever found themselves caught up in a love triangle—whether real or, as in the case of this episode, imagined—Jake’s actions, although immature, will likely feel relatable. It is a cheesy cliché, but the story’s strength is that it all feels so real (which I recognize is a funny thing to say about a cartoon dog and his unicorn-rainbow beau).

“My Two Favorite People” is the first episode that really features Lady Rainicorn as a mover of the plot rather than just a fun side character, and it is a wonderful showcase for her. While a handful of later installments—namely season four’s “Lady & Peebles” and season eighth’s “Lady Raincorn of the Crystal Dimension”—would try to highlight Lady, “My Two Favorite People” is arguably the character’s funniest episodes, thanks in large part to her use of a universal translator, which allows the other characters to understand her. To some, a device such as this may seem like a cop-out, but storyboard artists Kent Osborne and Pendleton Ward cleverly preempt this criticism by making the device’s only useable setting one that gives Lady the voice of a great-great grandfather. Lady’s “old-man voice” is an episode highlight, and it makes many of the character’s lines (e.g., “Come on my darling! Wrap your legs around me!”) both hilarious and unsettling. (4 stars)

Season 1, Episode 10. “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain” (692-010)

Airdate: May 3, 2010

Commentary: During the production of season one Ward exerted considerable effort trying to shepherd the show’s crew in a coherent direction, all the while responding to critiques levelled by dozens of Cartoon Network executives. Many of these critiques were contradictory, and in the process of creating something that he was proud of while also appeasing everyone around him, Ward very nearly went bananas. The experience provided the bedrock for “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain,” and to anyone who has been given the arduous task of pleasing a whole slew of prickly critics, the episode will be immediately relatable.

In terms of the show’s budding mythology, “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain” is notable because it firmly establishes that Finn was adopted as a baby by Jake’s canine parents, Joshua and Margaret. This plot point was likely guided less by worldbuilding and more by humor (perhaps playing on the whole “raised by wolves” idiom). Nevertheless, this decision would have major ramifications for the show’s overarching narrative. Finn’s nature as the only human in Ooo was no longer a silly afterthought—it was now a mystery. Just who is Finn the Human, and where did he come from? These questions would linger for seasons, finally culminating in season eight’s touching miniseries Islands. (4 stars)

Season 1, Episode 11. “Wizard” (692-020)

Airdate: May 10, 2010

Production Information: Pete Browngardt, Adam Muto, and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Wizard”—co-storyboarded by Pete Browngardt, an artist who storyboarded on Chowder and The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack before creating the divisive Uncle Grandpa for Cartoon Network—is an absolute bonkers installment that throws logic out the window by giving Finn and Jake magical powers. It is a plot setup almost guaranteed to be fun, and you can tell that the writers likely a good time coming up with increasingly asinine magical powers (e.g., “endless mayonnaise”).

But underneath all the distraught dust motes and captivating new hairstyles, “Wizard” also has a degree of depth, reading like a biting commentary on higher education-industrial complex in the United States. It does not seem coincidental that the strategies employ by Bufo’s scam wizard school are strikingly similar to those used by predatory colleges, which offer students a worthless degree alongside thousands of dollars of debt. The parallels are made stronger when it is revealed that all those whom Bufo has tricked are reluctant to upset the oppressive status quo, because they believe “newfangled thinking will get [everyone] killed”; this eerily mirrors those who downplay the student loan crisis, arguing that “that’s just the system works.” Finn will have none of this, however, and by episode’s end, he—channeling his myriad wizard powers and the vigor of “youth culture”—proves that if a system is broke, it has got to go. Maybe we could learn a thing or two from that. (4 stars)

Season 1, Episode 12. “Evicted!” (692-003)

Airdate: May 17, 2010

Production Information: Sean Jimenez and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Adam Muto (story writer); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Evicted!” is considered a classic by most Adventure Time fans for one simple reason: It introduces the audience to Marceline the Vampire Queen. This iconic undead rocker chick managed to steal the spotlight whenever she appeared in an episode, and eventually she became one of the show’s more well-regarded characters. Given all this, there is some irony to the fact that in her debut, Marceline is the antagonist who steals our heroic duo’s beloved Tree Fort. Marceline is therefore similar to other season one baddies in that she tests Finn and Jake’s patience before engaging them in direct combat. But Marceline is set apart from other foes in how Finn and Jake defeat her—namely, that they do not. In fact, she pounds them into the ground almost effortlessly! Besting Finn and Jake is no easy task, meaning that while “Evicted!” might showcase Marceline’s nastier side, it nevertheless does an excellent job emphasizing how much of a badass she is; this goes a long way in explaining the character’s huge popularity.

But Marceline alone cannot an episode make. Luckily, “Evicted!” is further bolstered by several excellent design choices, including a bevy of fun background critters whipped up by character designer Tom Herpich, a slew of colorful background designs courtesy of Ghostshrimp and Santino Lascano, and a killer soundtrack. Regarding the latter, the stand-out tune is inarguably “House Hunting Song,” a comically overblown ballad detailing Finn and Jake’s arduous quest to find a new place to live. The song, sung mostly by Ward with a few lines delivered by Olson, is an emotion-laden earworm guaranteed to wiggle its way into your brain. (I mean, how can you not love a song that blames the murderous tendencies of vampires on simply being “burnt out on dealing with mortals”?) It very much is the blood-red cherry on top of everything, which helps to make “Evicted!” one of the season’s strongest episodes. (5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 13. “City of Thieves” (692-012)

Airdate: May 24, 2010

Commentary: “City of Thieves” is a workable if somewhat forgettable mid-season entry. The episode’s main strength is its titular setting, a bizarro municipality where theft is the law of the land. Unfortunately, the city is nothing more than a silly plot device, and the episode itself never really rises above “fine.” (2.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 14. “The Witch’s Garden” (692-022)

Airdate: June 7, 2010

Production Information: Adam Muto, Kent Osborne, and Niki Yang (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: If you think the idea of Jake sassing Ooo’s cattiest witch is funny in and of itself, wait until you see this episode’s visuals. From Jake’s grotesque but silly “manbaby body” to the abject horror of Gary the Mermaid Queen, “The Witch’s Garden” is replete with several memorable character designs that make it a satisfying entry. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 15. “What Is Life?” (692-017)

Airdate: June 14, 2010

Commentary: Giving Finn and Ice King a son is not a move that I thought Adventure Time would ever make, let alone in the first season, but here we are. The bouncing baby boy in question is actually a clunky robot named NEPTR, voiced to sadsack perfection by comedian and musician Andy Milonakis. If you had told me prior to this episode that Milonakis could give a sentient microwave a sense of pathos, I would have never believed you, but in “What Is Life?” he does a commendable job conveying NEPTR’s pitiful nature. As for the episode itself, “What Is Life?” is a solid entry that introduces viewers to several recurring characters (one of whom being Gunter the penguin) while offering us a peek into the Ice King’s sad, lonely mind. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 16. “Ocean of Fear” (692-025)

Airdate: June 21, 2010

Production Information: J. G. Quintel and Cole Sanchez (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Oceans of Fear”—storyboarded by Cole Sanchez and J. G. Quintel, the latter of whom would go on to create Regular Show for Cartoon Network—is in an interesting installment that establishes Finn’s fear of the ocean, reminding the viewer that even great heroes will be forced to deal with irrational phobias at some point in their life. The character designs in this episode are quite amusing (with the standout being Finn’s grotesque “fear of the Ocean” face), and Mark Hamill, as always, does a wonderful job, using his trademark “Joker voice” to give the Fear Feaster a delightful air of villainy. But as with “Business Time,” many of these elements are upstaged by the episodes’ post-apocalyptic trappings. In fact, when I watched the episode for the first time, I paused it in several places, asking to myself, “Is that a wrecked battleship? Is that a bombed-out tank? Why are there ruins of a city underwater?” It is an understatement to say that this episode is positively littered with rusted debris and centuries-old detritus that testifies to Ooo’s traumatic history. For eagle-eyed fans hoping to piece together Adventure Time’s mysterious mythology, this episode is an absolute hoot. (3.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 17. “When Wedding Bells Thaw” (692-013)

Airdate: June 28, 2010

Production Information: Kent Osborne and Niki Yang (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: One of the first episodes to team Ice King up with Finn and Jake, “When Wedding Bells Thaw” is a goofy lampooning of bachelor parties and the institution of marriage in general. Although the episode ends on a fairly predictive note (spoiler alert: Ice King tricked his fiancée into marriage), seeing Ice King get along with our heroes is charming, and in many ways it presages the Ice King’s future character growth. The episode’s strongest part is the short dialogue-free montage near the middle depicting Finn, Jake, and Ice King getting into all sorts of “manlorette party” shenanigans; this sequence is made all the stronger by Tim Kiefer’s chiptune score, which enlivens the party with a burst of synthesizers and electro-drums. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 18. “Dungeon” (692-013)

Airdate: June 28, 2010

Commentary: If there is one episode that feels like the entirety of Adventure Time’s first season distilled down into 11 minutes, then it would be “Dungeon.” An episode replete with outrageous monsters and wacky action, “Dungeon” is a high-energy installment that pays homage to the sprawling world of table-top gaming; indeed, it is not hard to imagine storyboard artists Elizabeth Ito and Adam Muto reaching for a D20 or a well-worn copy of the Monster Manual whenever it came time to block out a new scene. Stand-out moments from this episode include Finn’s encounter with the Demon Cat (famous for having “approximate knowledge of many things”), his visitation by a “guardian angel,” and the deus ex machina ending that see Princess Bubblegum swoop in to save the day. (“Get on my swan!”) And amidst all the silliness, “Dungeon” even manages to sneak in a sweet little message tucked snuggly in between all the wacky monsters about the importance of recognizing your weaknesses. (4.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 19. “The Duke” (692-023)

Airdate: July 12, 2010

Commentary: For most of season one, the audience is presented a version of Princess Bubblegum that is bright, effervescent, and totally nonthreatening; the monarch, it seems, is as aggressive as a marshmallow. But in “The Duke,” this all changes, and we finally get to see the princess’s darker, authoritarian side. Unhinged Princess Bubblegum is quite a sight to behold (as is the sight of green-and-bald Bubblegum), but it adds another layer of to the saccharine sovereign, setting her up for substantial character development a few seasons down the road. (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 20. “Freak City” (692-008)

Airdate: July 26, 2010

Production Information: Tom Herpich and Pendleton Ward (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Freak City” introduces the audience to Magic Man, a deranged and flamboyant Martian wizard known for meaninglessly harassing the citizens of Ooo. Although the character’s backstory would be fleshed out in later seasons and eventually come to play a major part in the mythology of the series, this episode was storyboarded well before these developments were dreamed up, meaning that here, Magic Man functions as a simple (albeit funny) villain-of-the-week whose nihilistic tendencies clash wonderfully with Finn’s optimistic worldview. Finn is so used to dividing the world up into “good guys” and “evil guys,” but his run-in with Magic Man is proof that morality is far more confusing than he would like to believe. The main problem is that Magic Man is not really evil: He is clinically insane—a violent psychopath—who does not care about his actions impacting others. No climactic fight or eleventh-hour pep talk is enough to fix him.

On top of this rather weighty consideration of morality and mental instability, “Freak City” contains another, more straightforward message about the power of teamwork and how people should work as one to overcome common problems. Storyboard artists Pendleton Ward and Tom Herpich have quite a bit of fun taking the idiom literally by forcing Finn and the other denizens of Freak City pile on top of one another to function as a single, grotesque being that is capable of fighting Magic Man. While “Freak City” loses some points for espousing rhetoric that folks who are depressed can simply will themselves out of their funk, it makes up for these deficits elsewhere with its character designs—ranging from the inside-out bird to the two-headed monster that Finn groin-strikes—which are all bizarre in the best, most creative way possible. (3.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 21. “Donny” (692-018)

Airdate: August 9, 2010

Commentary: A rather forgettable protagonist and only a smattering of memorable lines make “Donny” the season’s weakest link. The episode does get points for introducing us to “whywolves” (“Creatures possessed by the spirit of inquiry—and bloodlust!”), but they are not enough to completely save it from mediocrity. (2 stars)

Season 1, Episode 22. “Henchman” (692-021)

Airdate: August 23, 2010

Production Information: Luther McLaurin and Cole Sanchez (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: While “Evicted!” depicted Marceline as an apathetic asshole, “Henchman” starts to soften the vampire queen by showing that her evil exterior is an elaborate facade, and that deep down she is really just a prank-loving trickster—or, as Finn puts it, “a radical dame who likes to play games.” This might seem nothing more than a subtle tweak, but it does wonders for Marceline’s characterization; by episode’s end, as Finn and his vampiric “master” chat quite cheerfully in a field of strawberries, it is clear that the writers are setting up Marceline to become a legitimate pal to Finn and Jake, rather than just an avatar of chaos who drops in every once in awhile to shake things up. This was a wise decision, as it provided Marceline with the chance to grow into a hero in her own right with whom the audience can happily cheer along.

Since “Henchman” is predicated on Marceline pranking Finn, storyboard artists Luther McLaurin and Cole Sanchez have a great deal of fun mocking up outrageous scenarios that seem evil at first glance, but are revealed to be quite benign. Perhaps the funniest of these situations is Marceline raising an army of undead skeletons only to throw them a concert, and the vampire queen’s demand that Finn kill a little dimple-plant, which looks like a cutie before it turns into an Audrey II-esque abomination from John Carpenter’s darkest nightmares. (4 stars)

Season 1, Episode 23. “Rainy Day Daydream” (692-002)

Airdate: September 6, 2010

Production Information: Pendleton Ward (storyboard artist); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: “Rainy Day Daydream” is a beautiful representation of creativity in its purest form. Channeling his love of multilevel video games and Dungeons and Dragons, solo storyboard artist and series creator Pendleton Ward uses the pretext of Jake’s imagination affecting reality as an opportunity to bounce from one ridiculous plot point to another to great effect. The whole thing feels like an exercise in jovial spontaneity, and while “writing the story as you go” can sometime result in disjointed or sloppy final products, here Ward makes it work, using the approach to illustrate the almost limitless potential of imagination. Another strength of the episode is the way it throws dozens of ridiculous obstacles at Finn and Jake without the aid of equally ridiculous visuals; in fact, almost every hindrance in the episode is invisible to both Finn and the audience, and we only learn what is going on thanks to Jake’s narration. The fact that this approach works and is not boring is a testament to Ward’s skills as a storyteller and dialogue writer. (4.5 stars)

Season 1, Episode 24. “What Have You Done?” (692-027)

Airdate: September 13, 2010

Commentary: In addition to providing us with another glimpse of Bubblegum’s dark side, “What Have You Done?” also serves as an interesting meditation on morality and preemptive punishment. As earlier episodes have confirmed, the Ice King is a creepy little deviant, but is it right for Finn and Jake to imprison him without a cause? This is a real legal question, and the show handles it in a surprisingly sophisticated way, concluding more or less that the writ of habeas corpus must be preserved. Of course, this is all undermined to some degree when we learn that the Ice King actually is to blame, but thanks to some quick thinking on the part of Finn, our heroes are able to save the day without having to turn to the carceral powers of the state. (And people say Adventure Time is not sophisticated...) (3 stars)

Season 1, Episode 25. “His Hero” (692-026)

Airdate: September 20, 2010

Commentary: Who is the greatest hero ever? If you answered, “Finn!” it is obvious that you have yet to see “His Hero,” for the correct answer is Billy, of course! Lou Ferrigno guest stars in this episode as the aforementioned defender of Ooo, enlivening the character with his distinctive voice. As for the episode itself, storyboard artists Kent Osborne and Niki Yang—with an assist from the ever-dependable Adam Muto—produce some of their best work this season, filling each scene with witty dialogue and zany shenanigans. Arguably, the episode’s pièce de resistance is the short montage of Billy’s past achievements, which plays alongside a song, sung by Muto, extolling the hero’s greatness; energetic and wacky, the song in many ways typifies the “chaotic heroism” that defined the show’s first season.

Like many other first-season episodes, “His Hero” ends with a counterintuitive “anti-moral,” stressing that while a commitment to non-violence might seem subversive on the surface, it is actually an ineffective way to make the world a better place; instead, the episode argues that direct physical action—i.e., beating the snot out of monsters and bad guys—is necessary if heroes want to save people from oppression. This may all come across as contrarian silliness, but I would argue that it is profoundly radical, rejecting “common sense” ideals about peace that really only help those in positions of power. (Side note, if the kids who grew up watching Adventure Time turn into a bunch of revolutionaries, I think we will know the cause.) (4 stars)

Season 1, Episode 26. “Gut Grinder” (692-024)

Airdate: September 27, 2010

Production Information: Ako Castuera and Bert Youn (storyboard artists); Tim McKeon and Merriwether Williams (story writers); Larry Leichliter (director), Patrick McHale (creative director), Nick Jennings (art director)

Commentary: Much like “Ricardio the Heart Guy,” this episode suffers due to a lack of a solid mystery; from the start, it seems obvious that Jake is not the one responsible for the robberies. Furthermore, the reveal that Sharon is the one behind the robberies comes with almost no dramatical weight, since we have no idea who she is. The whole thing is forgettable, which is a shame given that this is the season finale. (2 stars)

(Huge shout out to @sometipsygnostalgic for reading over these a few months ago and offering feedback. Also, I want to thank @j4gm for posting his “Slumber Party Panic” review, which made me remember these write-ups!)

#adventure time #atimers #season 1 #season one #reviews #finn #jake #finn the human #jake the dog #marceline #pb #bubblegum #princess bubblegum #marceline the vampire queen #ice king #pen ward #pendleton ward

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aurathian · 4 years ago

Note

I saw that your requests were open. Being inspired recently by the Queen's Gambit, what if there was a chess board in the library and (pre Knight Attendant) Link walked by one day, noticing that one white pawn has been started. After much curious speculation, he moves a black and goes about his day. Unbeknownst to him, his opponent is none other than Princess Zelda. I'll leave the exposition and dramatic reveal to you, my friend :)

This was really so much fun to write and a very unique request! Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy what I came up with.

Checkmate

Link was often assigned the boring task of patrolling the castle while his fellow knights ventured out to Hyrule Field to slay monsters. It's not that he was a bad fighter—it was quite the opposite, actually. He was too good and often left the other knights behind, slaughtering any and every monster in his way and leaving none for them. Eventually, their commander decided that Link was "hogging too much of the fun" and chose to put him on castle patrol. Despite the prestige of the job title, it was more embarrassing than anything. When put on castle patrol, a knight had to wear the royal guard attire: a blue and red tunic, white boots and gloves, and a beret everyone but the royalty of Hyrule found ridiculous and humiliating. Still, he tied up his hair and put on the beret and the gloves and the tunic in the morning before heading off to the main part of the castle from the barracks. He was never one to voice his dissatisfaction; or voice anything, really.

While he strolled around the outside of the castle, right along its stone brick walls, it began to rain. First lightly, and then it gradually became heavier. When he heard thunder in the distance, he chose to retreat to the inside of the castle under the guise that he had completed patrolling the outside.

He walked into the library, a long and grand room lined top to bottom with bookshelves. Tables dotted the open space in the center of the room, books piled on top or papers scattered over the surface. The second level of the library was a balcony that wrapped around the room before meeting at a grand staircase. Small tables were placed against the railing on the edge of the balcony, usually covered with books or loose papers. People—servants, royal knights, castle staff—walked around the library, their noses buried in the pages of books, some sitting at tables and discussing the contents of the pages before them.

Link wandered aimlessly up to the second level. He didn't really care where he went as long as he kept moving and it looked like he was doing his job. Hands behind his back, he walked along the balcony, between the bookshelves and the tables, glancing at the spine of a book every now and then. The sheer amount of content the library had was baffling. It completely dwarfed the little shelf they had in the barracks that carried twenty or so books.

He was surprised that most of the tables on the upper level were empty or rather clean, boasting almost dustless surfaces and maybe a singular book. He thought it was peculiar when he came across a table with a chess board on top, the pieces all neatly in their place except for one white pawn. He strode over to it, his boots clicking neatly on the tiled floor, and leaned over the board. Why was there a chess game in progress when nobody was sitting at the table? He rubbed his chin and squinted in thought.

He knew very little about chess. Of course he knew the small pieces were called pawns and the term "checkmate," but besides that he was clueless. He'd watched his father play it many times when he was younger, but those memories were faded and distant. Curiously, he fingered the dark wooden piece shaped like a horse and after a moment of contemplation, he moved it over the pawn in front of it. He heard footsteps fast approaching him and he looked up to see a royal knight striding toward him, a serious look on his face. Link immediately straightened and walked away quickly, stiff and panicked, hoping he wasn't about to getting scolded in the room where everything echoed. It'd be more embarrassing than the beret on his head.

Finally out of the library and out of sight from the royal guard, he relaxed and carried on with his patrolling of the castle.

When he returned to the library the next day, once again on castle patrol, another white piece had moved—another pawn forward one space. He pulled a chair out from the table and sat down. His foot brushed against something solid below the table, and he peered down to see a book titled How to Play Chess. Picking it up, he opened the book and was displeased at, despite its tiny structure, the even smaller font. He navigated to the section about how to move pieces and, after reading it, chose to just move a pawn. The information from the book simply refused to translate to his brain. He never quite understood chess. There were too many rules and technicalities and it seemed too complicated for him, but he was committed to this game of chess and was determined to finish it. He grabbed the pawn by the small bulb on top and shifted it forward.

He followed the same routine for days—wake up, get dressed in the silly uniform, make his way to the library, move a piece, and continue patrol.

On another dark and stormy day when he chose to retreat into the library for cover from the rain, he made his way straight to the game of chess on the upper balcony. It was a challenge trying to navigate the library due to the fact that the light from the sconces and candles didn’t travel very far and he had to rely on his own vision to find his way. He was puzzled when he saw a slowly swaying flame hovering over the chess board as a silhouette of a hand grabbed a piece and moved it. It grabbed another piece and moved it off the board.

Cautiously, he approached the table. The flame floated up to illuminate the face that owned the hand that so expertly shifted the chess piece. Almost immediately, partly out of habit and partly out of respect, he knelt on the ground and lowered his head and his gaze to the tile floor. His heart raced as he thought about who stood before him, about who so confidently moved that white chess piece and took his off the board.

“Hello,” Princess Zelda said, stepping closer. “You can stand up.”

So he stood up.

“Are you the one I’ve been playing chess with?”

Shyly, he nodded.

“Well, that’s wonderful.” Her eyes and her smile were soft and kind, contrary to the image he’d painted of her before—uppity and snobbish. “What’s your name?”

She was wearing her deep blue dress and a crown rested atop her forehead. Her blonde hair rolled down her back in thick waves and her green eyes sparkled in the firelight. “Soldier?” she called, trying to reach him beyond his thoughts, beyond his admiration of her noble and clean appearance.

“Uh... Link. My name is Link.” Like a fool, he stumbled over his words, but he assumed she must’ve been used to it. Someone so intimidating must rarely receive neatly and confidently said words. His voice was quiet, as it was rare for him to speak, and he figured there must be something illegal about unknowingly playing chess with the princess of Hyrule.

“Well,” she sighed, gesturing to the chess board next to them. “Checkmate.” His gaze followed her hand to where his dark wooden king was sitting to the side of the board.

“Oh.” Link said dumbly. He didn’t understand what was happening at all during the weeklong game, and the book only helped him to understand how the pieces moved and what they were called. The rest of its contents were too wordy and technical for him to grasp.

“Do you... know how to play chess?” she asked, but he could tell that she knew about his incompetence at the game. He shook his head silently.

She hummed thoughtfully as she sat down at the table and began to reset the pieces. Thumbing a white pawn, she looked up at him and held her hand out to the seat across from her.

“Sit down. I’ll teach you.”

He shuffled into the chair across from her.

“I’ll go first.”

She moved her white pawn forward and the game began again.

#the legend of zelda #zelda #nintendo #loz #link #zelink #fanfiction #loz botw #botw #breath of the wild #my writing #requests

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thebeautyofdisorder · 5 years ago

Text

Dangerous Game ~ BBC Dracula, Gate Scene AU

@festering-queen Requested a “what if” scenario if Agatha stepped over the line a bit during the convent gate sequence, and Dracula was able to get his hands on her. This could have gone MANY different ways, and the first couple days of thinking about this were literally just me debating the many options I had on my hands, but this is what I settled on - hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: blood, threat of death, vampirism, nudity, you know - everything that applies normally to Drac

Word Count: 3,118

It happened in an instant, far quicker than she could react. For all his snarling and threats, Agatha had the vampire keening like a starving pup - helpless, angry, feral with hunger as her hand outstretched in an offering of her blood to his seeking tongue. She observed him with sudden calm appreciation as his eyelids hung heavy, feeling a fleeting swell of power that she nearly got to appreciate, even. But just as her grip lessened on the handle of the knife, prepared to drop it and back away and cease to taunt the beast while she was ahead of the game, those blackened eyes shot open and met hers with such mocking clarity that it halted her in her tracks, the triumph in her eyes faltering into sudden, heart-stopping dread.

It was too late, then. Agatha was too close, she’d known it, and had trusted that in his blind desperation for sustenance that the Count wouldn’t take note. She had been very wrong. Without so much as a growl, his hand shot out and grabbed for the knife and her hand all in one grip of his gigantic fist, yanking her over the ephemeral threshold, her feet barely skimming the ground with no chance of catching traction.

The screams and gasps from her sisters rose up behind her in chorus of panic, but even in all that chaos for a fraction of a second Dracula didn’t even acknowledge that he’d gotten the nun into his clutches, too occupied in using her hand as a vehicle to better press the sharpened steel to his tongue, licking it clean. It was only when she stepped back towards the “safety” of the iron gate and tried to yank herself free did she feel more than hear him chuckle in dark, mocking glee, and a gasp was torn from her throat, her world spinning as he pulled her into his grasp. Her back might as well have hit stone for all his bloodied chest gave on the impact that she felt rattle her own bones, both her upper arms suddenly constrained in a bruising grip. The knife lying useless on the ground near her feet, Agatha found herself forced to watch her sisters cower in terror and worse - look on her in pity.

“It seems fortune doesn’t always favor the brave, does it Sister?” He leered from behind and above her, grinning down at her in a manner that might have passed for charming had his teeth not been forged into sharp, jagged points. His breath smelled coppery and disturbingly sweet, and cringe from it though she did, for a strange, mad moment she almost wanted to ask him about it, before remembering that there were definitely more important things to worry about at the moment than understanding the vampiric anatomy. Currently the fact that she was forced very snugly against said anatomy and was probably about to die a very painful death for the luxury.

His focus left her quickly though, watching over her shoulder as the Mother Superior tried to force a brave face, her short frame standing in front of the gaggle of girls as though she could actually forge a barrier between them and danger. All but her.

“Well? What’re you waiting for, ladies? Your sister’s been captured, you’re all ‘armed and ready.’ You outnumber me, clearly.”

“Honestly, they’re nuns not idiots,” Agatha scoffed at him, before addressing them directly - just in case, seeing some of them start to stir antsily. “Stay back!”

“Come now. Not even one of you? What righteous warriors you make,” he continued to mock with disappointed laughter, laying out his lure as Agatha watched helplessly as her anxious sisters looked more unsure by the moment.

“Isn’t that what that god of yours is always going on about - self-sacrifice for the greater good, defending the helpless, blah blah...blah. You are knights, you have your swords, the frightened princess is seconds away from being eaten…”

“Oh please,” Agatha mocked, turning her head to glance between his self-satisfied smirk and the faces of her friends in frank disbelief.

“Who’s going to slay the dragon?” Dracula challenged in that melodious whisper, tightening his hold on her visibly, causing her to hiss as what could only be described as claws began to dig into her flesh through the thin fabric of her habit.

“Do not rise to his bait - he’s only trying to lure you out,” their matron, having gathered her wits, echoed her earlier sentiments, but with the authority to actually enforce them, and despite the sinking feeling in her gut, Agatha looked at her with genuine thanks as the girls began to slink back. She would not be the reason for their deaths, and that at least she could make peace with.

“Give it up, dragon - I’m the only nun you’re getting out of there tonight, so just kill me and get it over with,” she exclaimed stubbornly, turning her head to look up at him where he still stood behind her, watching the sisters retract with an exaggerated pout.

He laughed, throaty and low, turning her in his grasp to look her in the eye.

“Oh no one likes a martyr, Agatha - isn’t it?” he purred, and her eyes widened a margin at hearing her name on his lips.

“So you heard,” she persisted, squaring her jaw, not falling for any more of his intimidation tactics. How much worse could her circumstances really get, anyway?

She was armed, as well, to be fair. The wooden stake was in her pocket, and if he would just not grip her arms so tightly, she might have been able to put up some kind of fight - but as though he genuinely could read her mind, his grip on her left arm tightened to the point of bruising while his hold on her right turned feather light and faltered as he shifted his hold from her upper arm to her wrist, pulling her palm up to his mouth.

She had entirely forgotten she was still bleeding, but clearly the vampire had not, and the split flesh gave a sudden throb at the reminder, just before she felt him drag his tongue over the seeping wound, a hum of pleasure that was nothing short of obscene reverberating against her hand. She hissed, her fingers flinching in fruitless effort against his hold, though the sensation wasn’t exactly pain, even if it wasn’t far from it. It was a bizarre tingling that made her squirm, though there wasn’t anywhere to go. She cursed him under her breath in her native tongue and she was surprised to hear him chuckle, drawing back from her hand though he still held it aloft, never far from his lips.

“Ooh. You’re really not very good at this nun thing, are you, Agatha?” He asked mockingly, before looking up at the stars thoughtfully and licking his lips, her eyes drawn to watch his throat work and swallow in the firelight.

“Agatha Van Helsing where in the world did you come from?”

“You seem to know everything else, why don’t you tell me?” She shot back bitterly, fighting off the panic in her voice. So that’s all it took, a few drops of blood and her inner workings were laid bare to his prying eyes? Frightening, sure, but mostly infuriating.

“Holland, right?”

She glanced sideways at her sisters for a fleeting moment, and gave a nod to Mother Superior, hoping she would take his pre-occupation as a sign to begin to bring the other girls to safety, but she didn’t dare let her focus stray from the vampire long enough to watch.

“As I’m sure you heard in my accent. I know detectives that could volunteer twice that information in half the time. Surely you can tell me something more interesting than that.”

“Are you challenging me, Sister Agatha?” He asked, though despite the hint of a growl that still lingered in his voice, he looked wholly entertained by her open defiance despite the fact he could have killed her already. “You do enjoy dangerous games - you must be bored to tears in this place.”

“As though you don’t enjoy showing off,” she challenged dryly, looking him over with clear accusation, though her eyes didn’t stray past his chest before retreating upwards once more. “Come on. Tell me something I don’t know.”

Agatha watched as he took a moment to process what she could only assume were her own memories, seeing multiple small reactions flit over his features. She should've rightly tried to use this distraction to her advantage, feeling his grip on her lessen a hair - but she knew deep down it would just end in a quicker death for her in the end. She still wasn't sure if that would be her best option.

Surely it was the most Catholic choice she could make - but if she were going to sacrifice herself "for the greater good" as he had so quaintly put it, now was not the time. Not when she could learn more, and not when she was so sure to fail any attempt she could make to destroy him or even save herself.

Count Dracula's mouth suddenly broke into a wicked grin, ripping her from her thoughts. Not a good sign.

"And? Still waiting." She pressed, impatiently.

"Well, if it makes you feel better Agatha, your "training" might do your sisters some good after all," he stated musingly, watching a few of them retreat back within the walls of the convent, clearly unconcerned now with slowly but surely losing his audience.

"And why is that?'

His brows rose as he looked down at her almost fondly.

"Well, you left undead Johnny in the same room as his bleeding fiance, of course. I can't imagine his appetite taking long to surface. If you think I'm a fright when I'm hungry…"

Agatha had to fight back the urge curse again, if only because it would entertain him too greatly. Stupid stupid stupid…

"Jonathan Harker would sooner stake himself than harm Mina, you know that. Apparently it's all that moralistic willpower that made you so fond of him in the first place," Agatha dismissed him stubbornly.

The Count sighed, looking over her head towards the upper level of the nunnery.

"Mm. Truer words never spoken, I'm afraid - it'll distract him for a little while I suppose."

"What do you mean? Surely dying twice is enough," She asked, no longer hiding her concern.

"Curious little thing, aren't you?" He mused, almost inwardly, using his hold on her to drag her further back from the gate, so they were standing far out of earshot from the other nuns and they could see the flickering light in the window where Agatha had last abandoned his 'bride'. He held her fast against him with one long arm while he pointed up at the window. She might’ve seen a shadow pass just below her eyeline, but she couldn’t be sure.

"He tried. And failed. The undead cannot commit suicide. Call it a curse, if you will. He'll be out for a little while, definitely wish he were dead, but unless little Mina drives the stake in herself, he will wake up and when he does...he will be weak and he will be hungry. Now if you trained your troops well enough, maybe they'll be prepared…"

His head tilted, studying her face, which she was sure was full of many things for him to appraise, hating herself for it but far too distracted by her own thoughts to mask them. If she didn’t know better, his smirk almost retained a hint of pity.

“Or perhaps Johnny will surprise us both, he is a lively one. Now - “ he immediately led off from his passive attempt at comfort, turning her in his grasp so quickly, Agatha wondered if he was really so unaware of his own power or if he was still delighting in showing it off to her alone.

“I would ask you to invite me in, but we both know very well even if I promise not to slaughter your family that you won’t. Even if it means a rabid infantile vampire may tear a few of them limb from limb, you are far too stubborn to ever do anything that I ask of you, nor would you believe any promises I make,” the vampire began, sizing her up seemingly as he spoke with a chuckle as mocking as it was appreciative.

“Who would?”

“And threatening your inevitable death will get me nowhere, you religious types are always far too keen to sacrifice yourselves.”

“Trust me, Count Dracula, in comparison to hearing you babble nonsense for another half hour, it would hardly be a sacrifice,” Agatha spat out before she could help it, fruitlessly trying to create some distance between them despite his grip on her - she about cursed herself once more, but apparently instead of angering him, all she’d done is amuse him again.

He’d let out a surprised laugh, melodious and loud, so she was sure the others would’ve heard it from downwind. Wonderful, now if she ever did get back (unlikely) she’d have ‘consorting with the devil’ to deal with - more than usual.

“Agatha Van Helsing, what am I going to do with you?” He breathed, and she realized with mounting dread that he really didn’t even know himself.

“Honestly, you didn’t even have a plan when you showed up here, did you?” She couldn’t help but ask, furrowing her brows. Why was he so calm?

“I typically don’t need one, but it seems you wanted to make it difficult for me,” he stated softly, the accusation clear in his eyes, though it was almost playful in nature now.

Without the growling, bestial thing that had met her at the gate, she was just being held by a bloody, naked aristocrat staring down at her with a fondness that was completely foreign, and she found herself more disturbed by his approval than his threats. Those she had expected, this...she wasn’t sure how to navigate.

“Do you think your sisters would be so brave without you? Should I find out?”

Even seeing that he was baiting her, Agatha knew there was literally nothing stopping him. He could kill her now, just to get her out of the way. Probably preferable, because otherwise he could just disable her. Knock her unconscious, break her leg, rip out of her tongue - whatever would stop her from stopping him. And the sad truth was that she didn’t know. Most of those girls were young, helpless things, just there for intimidation in numbers. They would crumple in the face of genuine threat, no matter how strong their belief or their wills.

“Leave them alone, and I will come with you willingly.”

“Who says I want you to?” He returned too quickly, his face a mask of indifference, though the curiosity twinkling in his eyes was a dead give away to his intention. He just wanted to see how she would respond. To see if she would show desperation, or weakness. He was toying with her, just like she had toyed with him. God help her, for her sisters’ sake, she was going to have to let him. For now.

“You have a long way to travel, Count Dracula. And while I’m sure you can manipulate Jonathan into doing whatever you like, having a half-crazed ‘infantile vampire’ in your charge for a long voyage would only draw attention to you and fail to provide you any sustenance. Besides, no one in there would be any use to you. Most of them have spent their entire existence locked within those walls. Their lives are hymns and prayers and chores and guilt and nothing else whatsoever. Take me and you might actually learn something.”

“Perhaps. But you would also try to kill me the first chance you get,” he accused in a whisper, that hint of wicked amusement still never leaving his voice. Apparently attempted murder was a novelty to for him.

“Are you saying that actually frightens you?” She accused, quirking an eyebrow, turning his challenge back on him.

“Careful,” Dracula warned, eyes narrowing as his grip on her tightened a hair, apparently capping his amusement at being called a coward, though he didn't disagree directly - information she decided to retain for later. If she would see later.

He was silent for a long moment, enough to begin to worry her that he'd refuse her entirely. But slowly his lips twisted up into a satisfied, if resigned smirk, taking one last look up into that window before returning his focus to her fully.

"You drive a hard bargain, Van Helsing, but I suppose you do have a point. The devout do always leave a bit of an...aftertaste."

He let loose one of her arms, at least, though immediately reached up and pulled at the ties of the white fabric that was serving its purpose, blocking her throat from his view, yanking it and her wimple from her head in one swift motion, that pulled at her hair and made her yelp slightly. His lips twitched, but he seemed to choose not to acknowledge it.

“But you nuns tend to draw a lot of attention in your own right, especially while unconscious…”

“I’m sorry?” she clarified irritably, still narrowing her eyes as she used her free hand to push her hair from her face. She considered using it to slap him with instead, but considering she would likely just end up with a broken hand for her trouble, she resisted the urge.

“Oh, I’m not going to have you straggling along behind me out in the mountains, Agatha, that would be positively uncouth. You understand…” he drawled, his gaze having dropped from her eyes and now locked onto the column of her throat with that same heavy-lidded intensity she saw at the gates. Feeling his large hand tracing her collarbone, she swallowed, forcing herself to be still as he loomed over her, now even more so than before it seemed.

“How kind of you,” she snarked, though her words were no longer registering to him at all, and she watched in the lantern light as his eyes clouded with red once more, and those long, cold fingers curled around the base of her neck, making her shiver.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to make you last,” he assured her with finality, that bestial snarl thickening his voice once again, and the last thing she felt before sinking into a hazy sleep was the sting of sharp teeth sinking into her flesh, followed by that same tingling she’d felt earlier, until she felt nothing at all.

------

I’m just going to tag all the people I normally tag when I make Dracula stuff, or anyone I think MIGHT want to see it based on your interests, feel free to ignore me if you’re disinterested.

@hoefordarkness @allis143 @punk-courtesan @dracula-s-bride @charlesdances @chrsitophwaltz @vlladtepes @bellamortislife @fuukonomiko @serindiyoza @alma37 @profiler-in-courage @lamourcommecesttoujour @hyacinth-meadow @guardianbelle @lets-talk-about-claes-baby @claesbang @undead-notunreasonable @bangtheking @vissidarte213 @mood-adlock @onyxthevampire @the-sign-of-tea @feralstare @leah-halliwell92 @break-free-killer-queen @mephdcosplay @girlonfireice @chelsfic @imagineandimagine @the-last-legs-last-leg @moonwalkerkari @river-soul @drsherlockmoffat @dwacuwa-is-baby @mysticaltimemachinewench @hopipollahorror @beyond-antares @bloodspatteredprincess @pullthedamnlever @ss9slb @gatissed @mitsukatsu @le-fay-87 @flyingleapdisco @desperatefrenchwriter @crowley-needs-a-hug @crazytxgradstudent @garlicbreakfast @kandomeresbitch

Okay, if I didn’t tag you it’s just because I got tired of scrolling my notes before I reached you, haaa. My bad. Or tumblr won’t allow me to tag you for some reason.

#bbc dracula #dracula bbc #dracula 2020 #dragatha #agatha van helsing #claes bang #dolly wells #my writing #requests

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mysleepdeprivedass · 5 years ago

Text

Okay. It's like 4am and I need to share with you my AU over this fandom.

The post must be filled with misspelling or some sentence can make no sense buuuttt sorry I guess.

I'm not completely in the fandom but I freaking like the fancontent (I read a LOT of fancontent) sooo anyway. I saw this headcanon time to time so I put my idea in.

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG (honestly right now I have a fever for Ml fancon and fic sooo probably my next post will be ML content )

Honestly the headcanon risk to be kinda messed up and just a big less to read.

Anyway.

Rock/metal! Marinette (with a lil' bit of nerd!Adrien) AU

Sooo (I'm going with point and plus I just translate what I've written

• listening Jagged Stone (and she is a big fan)

• listen a lot a rock band, punk and metal band too.

• Like the old rock French band (like telephone - Which is a real French band if you want listen -)

• Under cut, that's she cut herself. Because she not going to paid 30€ for that and because she did that behind her parents back. She used to cut her mother and father hair (she like doing her family's hair -don't know it's the sentence lean something-)

• she have short hair cut (like at the base of the neck)

• Have few piercing (ear and some on her face (one rand of helix on her left ear, two conch and a industrial on her right ear, tragus on her right ear, stretch on each ear and 2nd earring on each ear. Septum and smiley, tongue and transversal labret.

• she's done almost all a piercing during her rebellious phase (in middle of her middle school) because dang she not going to paid 75€ for a hole on her ear (disclaimer : do not pierced yourself it's dangerous and must be do by a professional, I know that because I have personally some piercing and it's better to do it in a shop with someone you can trust)

•Nor is she oblivious about her piercing. She saw a LOT of video about piercing. She clean the space that's she wan going to pierced like a pro, an she use medical needless (that she buy in pharmacy - you can buy catheter on pharmacy-) She only go on shot for four of her piercing (her tongue, her lip, nose and mouth piercing)

• For a long time, her classmates thought that she pierced in a shop.

• They know the truth during a party at Juleka's place. They're was playing truth OU dare and Alya (who dream to get a piercing) Say that she would love to have a piercing (her parents said that will never happen under theire roof) Marinette tell her that she can pierced her because she have already pierced herself (begging in 6eme -I think it's the equivalent of the 6th grade-) Her first piercing was the helix's (all her classmates are kinda shook )

• oddly a week after the party, when Alya Returned from Marinette home she got home with two new helix on her right ear.

• la class décide de faire une soirée et Marinette percé tout le monde au moins un truc sur leur corps (elle part dans plusieurs pharmacie acheter des aiguilles et acheté sur un site qu'elle connais des prothèses de piercings et des truc pour clipé l'endroit a percé)

• she plays drums

• she like to brings her battery bench at school and she do some impro during break.

• She still love the color pink. One of her motto it's " Punk and rock need more pink" because dang because she love punk and rock doesn't mean she can't love pink.

• Her bedroom it's a weird but pleasant mixed of skull, pink skull, and random things associated with rock/punk style with pink

• like in her bedroom, you can see some studded and chains object and just Beside and little stuff pink kitten teddy and sit beside the kitten she have A goat with static crosses teddy (also pink )

• She have some satanic cercle and gems in her room (she kinda interested with Wicca stuff even she's not doing it everyday)

• she like cute and pink stuff

• her terrace/balcony have a mini-garden with roses, dahlia and a lot of succulents.

• Slay cat eye-liner and eyeshadow pencil.

• She ended by dye her hair, first she got a lock of hair pink and she just got a split hair black and pink (she's dyeing her hakr by herself, when she met Luka, Luka help her)

-To be honest now, it's like 5am and I never thought that translate some shitty idea take so long xD need to take a break. Now it's midday Soo let's go continued-

• When her class know she can do hair, she became theire unofficial hairdresser ( everyone paid her event if in the beginning she refused to be paid. Everyone try to snuk in their money in her stuff in the weirdest way possible) and when she opened deisgn commission she do some on their clothes.

*Scene *

- Alix what are doing IN my locker ?"

- I want to see the inside. Lovely locker, where I haven't been absolutely stuck for 30 mi.

- Just get out and get your butt out of my backpack.

• Her parents a 100% supportive over her chose. But sometimes they said no for some of stuff she want to do.

*Scene*

-No Marinette , believe me that's you're going to regret to do a hawk.

- Come one mom !

- * sigh* Imma going to hide your father's hair clippers and scissors. Believe me it's for your own good.

- No Marinette you are not going to shave your eyebrows !

- But Mom !

- No "But Mom,"! I take away your scissors and shaver

- You will make yourself a split tongue when you no longer live under this roof. Out of the question that I see a tongue split in half under this roof !

- No Marinette you're not too "cool" and to "rock'n'roll" for not eating your carrots. Now get your butt here and finish your vegetables.

- *sad Minecraft villager sound *

• People think that Marinette is some cold deadpan mean bitch before Alya come in her class. Alya had always know people like that (who look cold but are more afraid and shy to talk to people and just look scary ) Alya is the first friend (really friend) of Marinette because she don't give a shit about her look. When the two begging to be friends, the class notice that Marinette it's not mean like that though she is. And the class begging to talk to Marinette and be friend with her.

• She become deputies of her class because she's done with Chloe's bullshit and everyone accepted rapidly to have her like class president. Everyone is kinda shook about organization et Benevolent's Marinette can be. After that everyone really like Marinette and she like the mom friends of everyone but everyone know that she can always be scary especially if she angry and someone pissed her off more.

• Her class know about her deisgn hobit and dream during de hats conteste and that's she made almost all her clothes.

• When she hang out with friends concerts (people she met at some rock concert ) they decided to have a tattoo. Marinette have a Ladybug under her right foot. Alya is the first to know because during a sleepover, Marinette forget to hide it. Her parents are the seconds to know (same mistake she forgets to hide it with socks). Adrien know while being Chat Noir (he was hang out at her balcony and she was laying on the floor and he see it )

• inverse Crush au. Adrien fell in love to Marinette because she's the first to see who he is and don't try to put him on a pedestal and Adrien can see that's she is very different that her look can send like personality. Marinette love Chat Noir because he is her very first friend that she thrust completely regardless of her look. (Because even in the beginning she still suspicious about Alya)

• When she is Ladybug almost all of her peircings disappeared (her nose ring, stretch, helix's and her miraculous stay)

• she were her miraculous on her second ear lobe holes

• Tikki listening rock and punk music (honestly I want to see Tikki dancing with eavy hard metal in the room)

•Even she know she can't do that. she brings abandoned animals at home. She clean them and feed them in her rope before take them to a refugee or a veterinary. She let for the first time Jagged Stone because she found Fang hidden in a alley. She noticed that he have a collar so she bring him up to a veterinary where she have the habit to go. The collard have the information for contacted Jagged. Fang letting Marinette take him because she have the same smell that Jagged, some metal and vegetal leather.

• Marinette help Adrien to scare his fan. All of them just run away from Marinette. She become unofficially his bodyguard in school.

•She know how to defend herself and scare people because she go to a lot of underground concert and it's not always nice.

• She swear like a sailor. Not in front of her parents. She swear a lot when she frustrated or angry. And know Hawkmoth know that he is forbidden to send a Akuma past 2.30am, because the last Akuma have to deal with a really really angry ladybug (that was the first night since a very long week of sleep deprived and anxiety and a lot of work plus she was on her period which hurt like hell so she was pissed) No one speak about this day. Because the Akuma was running away from her

• Marinette smoke a little bit (most of the time during concerts when she hang out with older people and in rare occasion when she really really freaking out and her anxiety is very high)

• Woke up with eavy metal and hard rock. Tikki just well, have to take the habit

• Adrien is a big dork and nerd. Wear glasses and more "nerd" clothes during school, He is just a big weeb, and do 24h/7d anime and manga ref, Marinette laugh a lot about it +except pun she don't like them)

• Marinette save his phone number with nickname " cutie weebo"

• Adrien save her phone number with nickname "Iron princess"

• Discord group t'chat with Nino, Alya, Mari and Adrien. Name of the group : Rejects of the society Aka. DjDiscount (Nino), Almost-A-Reporter (Alya), Pinkipie-turn-to-emo (Marinette), KingOfTheWeebWorld (Adrien )

• Discord group t'chat for the class (because during my idea have this fever about texting fanfiction so why not, I always read texting fanfiction btw)

Marinette : Prez'AndPunk.

(given by Adrien)

Adrien : Usui Takumi (Weeb).

(Give by himself, everyone know the ref at Kaichouwa maid-sama, excepted Marinette who don't watch anime le read manga. and nobody explain to Marinette the link between their usernames)

Alya : Laydbloger

(By herself )

Nino : SmookWeedNotEveryday

(Giving by Marinette, who saw him hang out with smoker pal and she saw him smoke one, she know the people with who he was.)

Mylène : ImNotAMonster

(Giving by herself)

Ivan : TeddyBear

(By Mylène )

Alix : AlixDontPlayDespacito

(By herself, because Kim just do a full straight week with the same lame joke with Alexa play despacito but put Alix, at the first Alix going for AlixDontPlayDespacitoYou'reShithead but she changed it )

Kim : ICanDoAllBet

(by himself)

Max : Smartass

(By himself, kinda help by Kim, Alix and Marinette, during a all night up when Max and Marinette help Kim and Alix for school homework)

Nathanaël : TryToFoundSomeStreetCreedArtist

( inside joke between Marinette, Alix, Nathanaël and Marc)

Chloé : MyFatherWillKnowAboutThat

(Given by Adrien, Alya, Nino and Marinette after they have do a Harry Potter marathon. Because of the Look like between Chloe and Draco. It's Adrien, who change her username)

Sabrina : NotAWitchYet

(Inside joke between Chloe and her. Given by herself)

Rose : ILiveForMyOTP

(Given by herself, after a discussion between Juleka, Luka and her when she hang out at Juleka's home )

Juleka : IDrinkDarkCoffeeLikeMySoul

(Given by Luka, who stole her phone, inside joke between the two and for some revenge)

• Marinette hide her shyness with her "cold" style. But when she became friend with her classmates she more confortable and became very protective around them, a dont' hesitates to become physically violent. (Happen most of the time with, Alix (because she don't know when to stop before begging a fight) Rose Juleka and Nathanael (who are most of the time bully) and Adrien (she save him from his fan and stupid fuck boy ))

• After she became president of her class. The other class rep and professor don't like her (because of her look) and Marinette disregard all of them because on had they handle Chloe's bullshit. When class rep's and professor see that she competent and do a great shot they tolerate her and begging to appreciate her.

• She hang out with bullied people, she protected them (scaring their bully)

• she still a cinnamon rolls, especially with Tikki, Tikki is also the first to know that Marinette have anxiety. honestly she just a cinnamon rolls with her closest friends and family.

• Sty all night speaking with Tikki about ancient holder while they listen music.

• Sassy, like so much sass from her that it should illegal, when she's Ladybug she gives security and leadership vibe, people juste like her. And no one is afraid of her (Conversely when she is "Marinette")

•Sass a lit Hawkmoth about he fashion style about his Akuma. And during latest Akuma she just swear a lot again him. Because Hawkmotherfucker I need to sleep. And my coffee privileged just go revoked.

• She love hang out with Chat Noir. She try to flirt with him (when she's Ladybug) but he is so oblivious that he never understand and just friendzoned her very hard. (And because I'm a sucker for oblivious Adrien and Marinette)

• She fight some bullies (because fuck it I went a scene after she fight for Adrien and he heal her)

•Also kinda buff! Marinette ?

• She have anxiety and can have Anxiety attack (she can control them sometime ) She hide her anxiety very young. Because little she was shy and have anxiety and wearing and listen rock and punk music help her for be more protected like a shield against everything around her.

• Marinette is vegetarian (because why not) since primary school. And most of a leather clothes she make are vegetal leather or false leather.

•And she love wearing leather, like combat boots, jacket and pants.

Sooo it's took a day to finish to translate everything but Voilà. If you want pick some of the idea feel free to do it just tag me please. You also can reblog and feel free so add more.

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treatian · 5 years ago

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The Chronicles of the Dark One: The Dark Curse

Chapter 140: Making Trades and Staying Patient

Keeping himself away from Belle was the key. That day, in front of the mirror, things had gone a lot farther than they should have, he'd let himself touch her and therefore allowed himself to be intoxicated, something that never should have happened in the first place. Not to mention that after his mind had cleared of her scent and skin, he realized that she'd asked him a question about something she shouldn't have known. His family. Not a wife or a child. A family. How she'd known or figured it out was a great mystery. And a greater mystery was why he'd answered her question as honestly as he had. He hadn't given an entire truth, he hadn't fallen into her arms and given her his entire life's story. But what terrified him after that encounter was that he'd wanted to. He'd wanted so badly to tell her, to watch the look on her face as he confessed all his secrets, he wanted to see how she'd handle them. Would she use them against him as Zelena had? Store them away for a rainy day, as he often suspected Cora was? Or would she give that smile she so often did with others, put a hand on his arm and…

It was a close call, without a doubt. One that he couldn't afford. So, his plan was to stay busy, to not touch her as he had that day ever again, and to keep his mind occupied on other matters, matters that were important to the future, not the present.

Fortunately for him, it proved easier than he'd expected. He'd felt a stirring lately, just in the last few days, one that had nothing to do with his maid. The Seer was anxious, excited almost. He felt almost like she was whispering in his ear every moment of every day. The problem was that the whispering was so rapid and low he couldn't make out words. It was a buzzing. No, he couldn't make out the words, but it left him with a feeling that he could read all too easily, loud and clear.

Get ready.

Something was about to happen.

At first, it had frightened him. He'd felt anxious right along with the Seer and panicked; he wasn't ready for the Curse to hit yet. There were things to be done he hadn't prepared, contacts he hadn't made, potions he hadn't concocted. It took him six hours one night at the wheel to calm himself down, to remind himself that the Curse wasn't going to be cast tomorrow. There were multiple phases in this plan of his. Perhaps one of those phases was simply going to come to pass. He would do what he could. For him, that meant restocking his potions; making sure he had all his ingredients, brewing extras of the common ones he used all the time, and finding a black bag which he marked with his blood to put others in so that they might find him in the new world. He'd done well. Still, one thing remained missing, which was how he found himself in the middle of the night with a cloak drawn up against his face making back alley deal with his fastest connection to squid ink.

Clopin was a gypsy, not unlike the one he'd taken his original fairy wands from. However, Clopin's talents were not in singing or dancing as so many did, he was trafficker who disguised himself as a peddler. By day Clopin could be found anywhere around the Kingdom pushing a cart that held simple wares, by night, the cloth came off of that cart, secret compartments opened, and the lowest of the low knew to find him for anything they wanted to sell or buy. For the right price, Clopin had it all. Potions, squid ink, precious and rare flowers, books, weapons, foreign currency, a book from another realm, and, perhaps most notable of all, flesh.

It took him three days to locate the gypsy. Clopin moved about every day, he could be a tricky man to find. He had a special kind of magic that helped him keep his position hidden and for good reason. Somehow he always found him pushing his cart amongst large groups of people; sometimes half a dozen, other times three dozen. They were always ragged and sickly looking. Since he always met with Clopin at night, he always found them a fair distance from him, by a campfire, surrounded by makeshift tents, and dressed in gypsy clothes that did not fit. Clopin was a master of words, and he always told any authorities they were gypsies too, but he knew it wasn't true. They were often refugees from other realms. He wasn't sure of Clopin's connection, the man was too tight-lipped in that area and too valuable an ally to threaten, but sensing no magic on the man, he knew that someone brought them into this realm and it was Clopin's job to take them to a safe place, to settle them in their realm…for a price, as always.

"Where's this lot going?" he questioned, looking over the selection he had in the back of his cart tonight. Squid ink was among the many items he had, and the man was just now preparing it, pouring two vials for him from the large flask that he had. He was taking his time, a habit that he'd often noted Clopin had, he suspected, so that his customers would have time to look over his other products. It usually didn't work for him, but on this occasion, he couldn't help but notice that he had a fine selection of books. It wasn't surprising. It was Clopin who had once traded him for the book from the Land Without Magic that Belle had loved so much. He had promised her he'd look for more by that author, but none of the books in his cart revealed had the last name Lewis. Still, she'd always be happy with a new story to indulge in.

"Destined for King George's Kingdom."

"King George's Kingdom?" he blanched. "Hardly a profitable destination for them. Where are they from?"

"Oh…a realm not unlike ours, I'm told…just as I'm told that soon King George's Kingdom won't be 'hardly profitable'," he smiled as he handed over the vials.

He knew smiles like that, he used them all the time. It was a smile that demanded he ask "what have you heard?"

But as soon as the words were out of his mouth, the gypsy sighed and turned his attention back to his cart, sealing the flask the ink was in and hiding it away as if he hadn't heard him. Rumple rolled his eyes, and after safely pocketing the vials, he pulled out a small coin purse and put two coins on the cart right under the man's nose. Everything was expensive with him…

"What have you heard?" he pressed again as Clopin safely put the coins away.

"I've heard King Midas has a dragon in his Kingdom."

"And how does a Dragon in a foreign Kingdom help our good King George?"

"Because the Golden King's wealth is his greatest asset. And gold isn't strength or braun, gold can't slay a dragon, just ask his daughter's former fiancé. Truth be told, the gold only draws the beast more to that Kingdom. But King George's son-"

"Prince James."

"The one and only. The boy is a strong fighter, handy with a sword. I've heard that Midas seeks to use the boy in order to slay the fearsome beast, and in return, Midas will shower the boy with something a bit softer than mere gold."

He let out a small giggle. First, because Clopin had no idea that James was not a "one and only" as he'd suggested, but second because his hint was loud and clear to him, especially since he recently had an experience of his own with a forbidden prize that was softer than gold.

"Softer than gold…a woman?"

Clopin nodded. "His only daughter, the Princess Abigail."

"Now that would be an interesting turn of events indeed…"

"Indeed, it would benefit these people greatly. Land worth nothing now will be rolling in gold after a royal wedding."

That might be what the Seer was so anxious about. Was it possible something was about to happen? Finally? After all these years? Clopin was referencing a royal wedding for Abigail and Charming, but he knew that I would never come to pass. His future was tied to Snow White. He wasn't sure just how long it would take from their initial meeting to marriage, conception, then birth, with James and Snow, but he did know that if something was going to start soon, then it meant that could stop thinking about seeing Baelfire in decades, and begin to think about years. And that was the best news he'd had in a long time. It filled him with a joy he hadn't felt since his boy had left him.

"Anything else I can do for you?" Clopin asked. No. Not a thing. But with the joyous news, he was suddenly feeling generous.

"You've been very helpful…but perhaps I can offer you something, a piece of vital information in exchange for this…" he waved the book he'd picked up with Belle in mind. He probably shouldn't be thinking of getting her gifts, but if it would make her half as happy as he suddenly was…

Clopin glanced at the book, then crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. "'Tis not but a trinket, taking up space on my cart, I'd have given it away for free if you only asked."

"Oh!" he smiled. He doubted if Clopin had ever given anything away for free in all his life. "Well then, in that case…"

"If you only asked!" Clopin called after him as he turned to leave with it. He turned back to see him standing there with a look of terror on his face at the very thought that he might have lost something expensive. "But, since you did ask, I'll take your offer. What have you heard?"

"Oh, it's not what I've heard, but rather what I've seen. King George's Kingdom will be profitable one day. It'll be a good place, ruled by a benevolent Queen and her Prince Charming, but before this day comes, war will strike." He turned to look at the people through the trees who were gathered around the fire, settling into spare blankets or under jackets, men, women, and even children. In another life, he might have been them. "Take these people, put them in the farthest corners of the Kingdom where they'll be safe from the bloodshed and the call of the draft."

"War…war with who?" Clopin questioned skeptically.

Now there was a sight…or rather a vision. With the question came a clear image in his head, one that was put there just as clearly as the image of the dark-haired man that knew Baelfire.

A line in the sand, on one side, Snow White and James and a thousand people dressed in rags and homemade armor. On the other side, a hundred people dressed in mail, Regina, and most shocking of all...

"The King himself," he answered with a smile.

He watched as the lines of confusion disappeared from his face and stretched into one of dead shock. His eyes widened, and his gaze drifted over to the people by the fire. "That is…some valuable information…"

"Especially for your trade routes."

"Indeed. Here, take this…" From a place in his wagon, he pulled out a round object, with string and feathers. If he was honest, it looked like a craft project done by a toddler, but the moment Clopin put it in his hand he could feel magic in it. "A dreamcatcher…or memory-catcher if you prefer. I believe you would be able to work magic like that."

He nodded. He didn't, not at the moment, but if there was one thing he was best at, it was learning how to work magic he didn't know. He may not know how to use it now, but he would. "How much?"

"After the information you just gave…take it! And the book. I'm in debt to you."

"I'll remember that…"

There was no good-bye; there never was. They merely nodded at each other, then he took his ink, and catcher, and book, and sauntered into the forest. He never liked to disappear entirely from the sight of the strangers, for fear of association with Clopin. Not that the strangers ever knew who he was, new to this world as they were. He had yet to ever meet one that-

As he passed close to the fire, he heard the gasp of a small child. Automatically he turned toward the noise, half expecting to see a tearful toddler, but what he saw was a small boy of about six standing by the fire, looking him dead in the eye. The child seemed frozen in fear. All around him adults were hunkered down under anything they could call a blanket, but the boy stared at him with his jaw hanging open.

"Problem," the Seer whispered in his head.

"The Dark One…"

Now it was his turn to be shocked, to go wide-eyed. No one ever knew him…how did a small boy know who he was?

Suddenly there was a flurry of activity that forced time to push forward. "Mommy!" the child cried, turning away from him. "Mommy! Mommy!" As the boy shrieked, he pulled his cloak quickly over his face and went into the dark of the forest where the fire wouldn't unveil him. "The Dark One! Mommy, it's the Dark One! I saw him!"

"What's going on?"

"What's happening?"

"What's the boy crying for?"

"It's nothing," he heard someone explain as he ducked behind a tree and pressed his back against the bark to be sure that he wouldn't be seen. "I'm sorry," a woman said, "he has this book he reads from our world, it's just stories."

A book? A book from their world? About him?

"It's not just stories!" he heard the boy cry. "The book says he lives here!"

A book from their world that mentioned him? That said he lived there?

"Jacob Horner-"

"It's true, Mommy! Look! It says right here! He lives here! He'll steal your eyes and eat you!"

"Jack…I think maybe I ought to take it. I'm sorry everyone…I think we might be taking our reading a bit too seriously."

"No! No! No, Mommy! No!" the boy cried. "Mommy, it has the story in it! It tells how he becomes not the Dark One anymore! Mommy, I have to keep it.

From behind, he heard a low rumble of laughter. They didn't believe the child, not yet anyway. They hadn't been here long enough to know that he had told them the truth. They were dismissing his claim, but he was practically salivating. A book from another world that mentioned him. Worse, a book that mentioned how he wouldn't be the Dark One anymore? From within his boot, he could feel his dagger pressing close against his leg. He wanted to see that book. He wanted to read that book. He needed it.

His heart was racing when he turned around and observed the scene by the fire. At a distance once more, it was difficult to see what was happening. Half the camp was settling back into sleep and ignoring the cries of the small boy. The other half was watching as the boy who had seen him struggle with his mother. It was a game of tug-of-war, and at the center of it was a thick green book.

He wanted to cry out, to scream. It would be easy, so incredibly easy to freeze the scene he saw before him, swoop in, and simply take the book from their hands…but nothing was ever as simple as all that. The book was the star, at the center of everyone's attention. Taking it right out from under their noses would look suspicious. When they came around after being frozen and realized the book had disappeared, he would be the first suspect. And if what the book said was true and the boy knew and told them, taking it now would be a problem. It could be a very real problem. But to ignore it and let the child go out into the world with it without knowing what was inside its pages…he couldn't let that stand.

He couldn't take it from the child now, but fortunately, he knew where they were heading. And it was clear from the way the boy clung to his novel that where he was, so would be that book.

#Rumbelle #Rumple #Rumpelstiltskin #Dark One #Belle #Clopin #ouat #ouat fanfic #Fanfic

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homesteadchronicles · 7 years ago

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Ten Songs Tag

Tagged by my fellow muso, @lady-redshield-writes! Thank you so much for the tag, my friend! I am always up for discussing music. Plus, your answers were super insightful, and I found some new music to jam out to!

Any of my fellow musicians, instrumentalists, vocalists, or appreciator of the arts are hereby tagged, if they find themselves so inclined to participate!

RULES: Post ten songs you are currently obsessed with and explain what caused or created this obsession!

1. “New Rules” - Dua Lipa I’ve been obsessed with this song since I first heard it on my family vacation to Walt Disney World this past December and I still listen to it consistently. Dua Lipa’s voice could only be called angelic, with a falsetto rivaling that of Allen Stone - and from a female, such a feat is almost unheard of. It’s rare to find a song on the radio that actually rejects sleeping around with the wrong person and instead solidifying healthier habits, denying toxic lifestyles and emphasizing the importance of oneself instead. Way to go, Dua Lipa!

2. “In Shallow Seas We Sail” - Emery Emery holds a special place in my heart as a band that can encapsulate the angst plaguing young adults. Most artists resonate with middle/high schoolers, but Emery speaks to me more now as an adult than they would have when I was younger. Plus, that voice? Gorgeous. This specific song has so many layers to get lost within. To me, it truly portrays that feeling of drowning in the midst of waves.

3. “Isn’t He (This Jesus)” - Natalie Grant This song really grew on me. I’ve always loved Natalie Grant, but this didn’t click with me at first. My mom sent me a link to this, overly excited to see that she had released new music after the surgery on her throat. Thankfully, she didn’t pull a Julie Andrews and came out all the stronger because of it. At first, I thought the song was decent, but it never hit home with me. Even still, I kept putting it on repeat while I wrote and I soon found myself worshipping in the midst of writing sessions instead. There’s something so...pure about this song. It’s raw, it’s honest, it’s simple. It doesn’t feel the need to be flashy, which I admire.

4. “Skyfall” - Our Last Night (OPB. Adele) I thought I liked Skyfall when it first came out - and then I heard this rendition. HOO BOY, was I in for a surprise! One of my friends, who apparently knows OLN, has been telling me to listen to them forever now and I never did. I turned this on while out on a walk and jammed to their music the rest of the night home. If you like pop-punk covers of already-phenomenal music, you might need to give this a listen...and then to their “Shape of You” cover, too.

5. “Party Tattoos” - Dodie This song goes against everything I normally listen to and I still am unsure why I like it so much. My friend included it in their character playlist and I just kept it on loop for days. It’s this wonderfully peppy, easygoing song with a slightly morbid undertone to its meaning. Maybe the mystery intrigues me so much? If you’re into indie music, give it a listen.

6. “Let the Flames Begin (Live)” - Paramore Paramore formed one part of my musical holy trinity throughout my childhood (along with Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco), and even though I no longer connect to their newer music, they still hold a special place in my heart. I’m not normally a fan of live performances, beyond worship songs, but this specific song adds SO much more live than it does in the studio. Williams adds an extended outtro, starting with an epic instrumental solo, and then ending with a bang. That bang? A special song snippet named “Oh Father”. I belt it out every time without question or hesitation. This may or may not be a Kingdom Come character’s theme...for a future book.

7. “Nighttime Hunger” - Overcoats Believe it or not, @khymnal showed me this song and I cannot get it out of my head. The Overcoats have the most seamless, unified harmonies I may have ever heard. They blend together so effortlessly. Their voices are almost like sirens...the mermaid kind, not the police kind. I think a lot of people can relate to temptation lurking in the longer night comes, and this makes it both eerie and gorgeous instead of disturbing. And let’s be honest - isn’t temptation as enticing as it is unsettling? They captured the feeling perfectly.

8. “Birth of a Wish (Become as Gods)” - NieR: Automata I needed to include an instrumental game song on this list, and what better than what I play on repeat whenever I write a battle sequence for Kingdom Come? This idea that men want to become deities ties in perfectly with the themes of KC, and especially its central characters. The epicness of this music, and the way it makes me want to wield a sword and slay a dragon and save a princess in space all at once, only enhances its amazingness.

9. “Never Enough” - The Greatest Showman If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. I cannot tell you how emotional I got as soon as this song came on the first time. I still listen to it all of the time, and am dying to hear my mom sing it (side-note: my mom is a ridiculously talented singer and she will never admit it). The power of the lyrics matches the power in her voice and it combines to form the most dynamic musical number I’ve ever heard in a theatrical film - and the best part? They didn’t even need choreography to enhance it.

10. “Where’s My Love (Alternate Version)” - SYML Did anyone else fall in love with this song during the Figure Skating portion of the Winter Olympics? As soon as I heard this, I downloaded the song. It’s this haunting melody accompanied by a gorgeous piano player and it just works. Listen to it if you feel like you want to cry about a lost lover you probably never actually knew.

Bonus: “Hang It Up (Abacus & Vargas ‘Predator’ Remix)” - The Ting Tings So, I only heard this after I’d already written up this post...but it’s the best. I freaking love this style, the likes of which I have only heard rivaled by the Shiny Toy Guns. My best friend and I listen to it every week while we prepare for our Monster of the Week podcast recording session and it fires us up every time.

#tag #tagged #tag game #song #music #adele #paramore #nier #nier automata #the greatest showman #dua lipa #emery #our last night #overcoats #syml #the ting tings #dodie

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ravenofsigurd · 4 years ago

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The God Of Heroes

Lore for Michael Flanagan's D&D setting

In their mortal life, the person who would end their existence retaining the title of the God of Heroes, was known as Alektos Fastfoot, the Demi-God offspring Gond, God of Crafts and the Princess Paloma of the dead Kingdom of Acroptis. After being exiled by the murderous intent of their Grandfather, the King of Acroptis, Minon, Alektos found their infant self and mortally wounded mother in a Hafling village where the Princess died and the baby was taken in by a kindly Halfling family. Enraged by the exile and murder of his lover and the exile and attempted murder of his child, Gond cursed the land of Acroptis so they could not use or retain memory of skills to use any technology, even fire was denied them causing most of the people to slowly die out, the land to be overrun by monsters and the few survivors to devolve into savage, bestial creatures.

Alektos stood out amongst the village, not just because they were a human in the midst of Halflings but because their royal blood showed through in their dark brown skin and obsidian coloured hair of tight curls, a contrast to the pale, loose curled halflings. They also stood out in their strength, that seemed to exceed that of average humans, and their long human limbs meant they were swifter in movement that all others in the village, earning them the name 'Fastfoot', both a reference to their speed and a play on the name of their adopted family, Proudfoot, Despite being raised as a girl, Alektos felt no need to conform to the expected gender roles of village tradition and nobody felt the need to force them into said roles, them being human and the halflings being an easy going people who conformed to traditional roles out of habit and laziness rather than a strong desire to keep society a certain way, favouring the idea of contentment and full bellies over any kind of ideology. Alektos would wear both feminine and masculine clothing depending on mood, making most garments themselves, as they found they had an affinity for weaving and tailoring. Upon reaching their teenage years, Alektos became increasingly uncomfortable and annoyed with being referred to as 'girl', believing their actions and interests indicated that they were not a girl by halfling standards and by the same token neither were they a boy. Alektos was heard to say on many occasions, 'Men are copper, women are tin and I am bronze.'

As Alektos grew older, they found with little effort they could learn any craft skill well, from cooking to woodwork, basket making to weaving but their favourite was smithing. After only a year of apprenticeship, they made the finest bronze in the village. Their rate and quality of production was such that the village had all the tools and weapons they could need, as such Alektos spent much time with travelling traders, trying to sell their backlog of bronze goods. Through their interactions with the traders they got to hear of foreign crafts, the fine bronze of the Crannog Gnomes on the Winged Isle, the great engines of the people of Archimedian, the clever mechanisms in the counrty of Daedalon, the fine of the cloths and weaving of the Arrack people and the enchantments put on crafts at the University of Hecathen. Alektos was fascinated by these tales and resolved that the skills to make wonders such as these were ones that they should learn. Forging themself a short sword and spear and bidding farewell to their Halfling family, Alektos left with a trading caravan having secured their passage in exchange for working as a guard.

They travelled to all the lands and learned all the crafts they desired and learned them well, weaving the finest cloth, forging the finest bronze, designing ships and siege engines, devising cunning contraptions and imbuing many of these fine crafts with arcane properties.

Alektos faced many obstacles in their travels from bandits to monsters to tyrant warlords, forcing them to use their skills in craft to incline to the martial, making for themselves arcane armour, an enchanted shield and the sharpest sword not made by gods that never lost it's edge. These adventures and mishaps lead Alektos to realise that all the great crafts in the world were worth nothing were they not used well. A sword was simply a piece of metal until it was wielded by a warrior, and Paladin and Tyrant alike could wield a finely made sword. Alektos concluded that their crafts should be used as tools with which the right crafters could make a better world, and so spent their days making weapons for heroes and the armies of the just, making swifter ships so that food and riches could be more easily brought to the poor and refugees move swiftly for the places of war and disaster. They became a great hero themself, slaying evil monsters, leading uprisings against Tyrants, gaining the admirations of many peoples, and the love on many as well as proposals of marriage from two Kings, But Alektos was never know to have a lover or spouse, preferring the platonic and sibling love of their friends and allies.

Monarchy was almost thrust upon Alektos themself after the reclamation of the land of their birth. When the Fire Giants caused the great mountain n the Isle of Wokklen to erupt and devastate the land, Alektos and several other heroes lead the evacuation of the island that after several years of the eruption continuing would one day sink into the sea. The refugees were lead to the border of Acroptis where Alektos vowed to enter the cursed land and remove the curse making it possible for the Wokklen's to settle. The hero knew that they could use no technology, not even fire, but relied on the curse being there to punish those who hurt them, hoping that meant the knowledge of crafts would not leave their head, especially since the curse could only be lifted with their return to the palace they were born in, in the nation's capital at the centre of the land. Alektos left their weapons, armour and tools, going forth in tunic, sandals with a bag of bread, fruit and dried meat. After the first day of travel, Alektos' tunic, sandals and bag had disintegrated into their component parts, the bread broken down to grain and salt and yeast and the dried meat softened and bled as is it had never seen fire. Naked and only able to carry what fruit would fit in their arms, Alektos journeyed for a week to the capital, mostly avoiding but sometimes having to come to bare handed blows with monsters and the feral Acroptians until she came to the rubble of the capital, for when technology was taken, so were masonry and architecture, causing in one day all buildings to collapse. Picking their was though the piles of once cut rock, Alektos found their to the rubble of the palace and there found a winged, red dragon. The dragon sat atop pile of nuggets of precious metals and uncut precious stones, the treasure of the nation, the shaping of crafts worked upon is removed. Alektos despaired upon initially seeing the dragon, knowing in their starved and exhausted state with none of their arms and armour they had gone from little chance of slaying the creature to no chance. Alektos had slain dragons before, but none so big and old and had only done so with those others with careful planning and cunning devices. Then they saw the horde, and rage filled the heroes heart. Here was another monster, picking at this dead land like a carrion bird at a carcass, not enough that her father destroyed this culture and people with their crafts and songs and stories to spite one man, now this beast would stop the building of something new and great for a people who had all stolen from them. Unacceptable. They strode forward, naked and dirty and bloody and cried, 'You, foul lizard, are intruding in my home, I am Alektos Fastfoot, Dragon slayer, Pegasus tamer, master artificer,smith and enchanter and heir to the last King of Acroptis and you will leave my birthright be!'

The Dragon was shocked to hear human speech and language, having only met the feral locals for decades now, but after it's shock it refused to leave threatening to kill Alektos. Alektos called it a coward before the gods, saying the god's watched their deeds as their father was Gond and should the dragon kill and unarmed, naked mortal the gods would curse it. So the dragon took the form of a naked human man, and agreed to duel via wrestling for ownership of the land. The duel lasted a full day and night with neither giving ground, until Alektos found an opportunity to use an arm lock taught to them by a Monk of Yondalla that put the dragon in such pain it begged for mercy. Conquered the dragon agreed to leave the land and carried Alektos back to the refugees at the border in a matter of hours so the news could be given that settlement could begin.

The refugees wanted rule to go to Alektos as their rulers were killed in the initial eruption and the land they would now live in belonged to Alektos, but Alektos refused,championing the ascension of their friend and fellow hero, the Dwarf Hespicus, who slayed the king of the Fire Giants as the giants pursued the refugees, insisting the Alektos launch him from a ballista, striking the giant king with his great stone war hammer in the face while airborne, killing the giant instantly and causing it's subjects to flee in fear. Hespicus made a good and brave king, inviting immigrants of all races to join his fledgling nation, and Alektos stayed with him on his council for many years, rebuilding the cities, ridding the country of monsters and forcing the feral folk, now turned to cannibalism and far beyond rehabilitation away from the civilised places to live in the remote woods, swamps and mountains, action that pained Alektos seeing these folk as innocent victims of their Grandfather and Father's malice. They did make attempt to rehabilitate a male they captured, calling him Hope, however most called him Mutt and thought of him as Alektos' pet as his behaviour never got much better than that of a captured wolf.

As the years past and grey started to sneak into the obsidian of Alektos' hair, they and some other heroes became aware of an alliance of Giants who were massing to invade the land of the Gods. Despite the resentment Alektos felt to their father for deciding punishing their Grandfather was more important than protecting their Mother, Alektos knew the Gods were essential to the order of the universe, eliminating them would lead to a chaos that the forces of Entropy could use as a opening to end all life. As the Gods were completely oblivious to this threat, Alektos went forth to make an alliance of their own, finding all the world's heroes, both Alektos' past friends and enemies, bringing them together to form an army that would stand between the Giants and the Gates of the Gods. When the battle was met, whatever trickery was hiding the Giant army from the God's was dispelled and the Gods came to fight along side the heroes defeating the Giants after Alektos personally killed their General in single combat and then went on to expose the agent of Entropy that manipulated the army together. For arranging the defence of the Gods and for their acts of skill and bravery in the battle with the Giants the Gods agreed that an appropriate reward would be to raise Alektos to Godhood.

And so did Alektos Fastfoot become the God of Heroes. After their ascension Alektos was able to become truly genderless as they had always in their deepest heart of hearts desired. King Hespicus renamed the capital city of Acroptis, Alekopolis in honour of his risen friend and build one of only two Temples ever built to the God of Heroes, the other being in the Feywild, placed their so that the path to it would be a gauntlet that only Heroes could pass. Hespicus himself made a pilgrimage to the Feywild Temple, bringing the items Alektos has utilised most in their heroic career, the Winged Isle Bronze Sword, Arcane Armour, Enchanted Shield, Helm of Invisibility, a spear that when thrown would become a lightening bolt and a knife made of a tooth of a tunnelling desert creature that devoured arcane energy, so the knife could cut through any arcane shield or defence. Brought there each was placed on a statue of Alektos, line the walls of the temple and guarded by a Fire Elemental in a brazier in front of each statue.

Alektos chose to stay away from their father, creating their own divine forge where they learned to work adamantine and made weapons and tools, not for the Gods, for that was their father's domain, but for heroes in as rewards for great acts or to help them in their time of greatest need. Alektos first tried to use their godly power to help the feral folk of Acroptis, return them to sanity and civilisation, but the best that could be done was to remove the curse of Gond from them, allowing them to make tools and light fires. Alektos came to some of them in their Godly visage to gift them fire in the hope that it would be the first step in the formerly cursed people developing themselves back to what they once were. For 1000 years, Alektos would appear to heroes and potential heroes, some they would guide, some they would push appearing to them only a touch more androgynous than they had been as a mortal, but still as a human of dark skin and hair. Only once did they appear as anything other that that, when they appear as a Goblin. Alektos was aghast at the hubris of the Hobgoblins creating a slave race and was enraged when no other Gods would intervene, and so appeared to a young he-Goblin, Mzznit, who would be the first hero of the Goblins. Mzznit had existed only as a slave told of his race's creation as slaves and that they were literally less than all forms of life, so Mzznit was awed when confronted by a divine entity in the form of a Goblin who gifted him a sword of adamantine and told him to free his people. And so he did. Many Goblins went off to form feral tribes and engage in banditry imposing Hobgoblin power structures with mean Goblins in charge, but many followed Mzznit's example and made villages and towns where they could live peacefully. Mzznit became a great hero of the age and a faithful Acolyte to Alektos whom always ensured that Mzznit only see them in Goblin form.

Though prayers and conversations with heroes, Alektos began to notice patterns in gathering of monsters that seemed similar to the gathering of Giants orchestrated by the forces of Entropy, These gatherings were ones Alektos could not perceive, only hear reports of them, leading Alektos to concluded that the same thing that hid the Giants was hiding these forces. Alektos tried to bring this to the attention of the Gods, but they did not give consideration to their concerns, and Alektos began to search for a way to ensure victory without the gods. Alektos became increasingly aware of magic in their Godly form and had followed the flow of magic back to it's source, the primordial energy of creation, Now, daringly, Alektos tried to alloy this energy with adamantine, producing crystals. Alektos made many thousands of these crystals,but found that they were so powerful that a mortal could only handle one at a time and so the crystals were set in weapons that Alektos gave one each of to their followers, Mzznit had made alliances with the aloof Forest Tieflings whom he convinced to pray to Alektos to be allowed to fight in the coming conflict and so they too received the crystal set weapons and became an army waiting for Alektos. The Tielfings having a knowledge of magic rivalled only by Elves and Dragons, built a temple to the crystals with a vault to keep all that Alektos had forged. The spells and enchantments on the Temple would test the character of the people who entered and gift the worth with a crystal set weapon. Alektos was not limited to a single crystal, being a God, and so made a breastplate, grieves, vambraces, helm, shield, sword and spear all from the crystal, shaped like glass.

Alektos would not wait for the threat to be at the gates and so lead a pre-emptive strike against the enemy with the army of heroes and Tieflings and their crystal enhanced weapons. In the charge the army not only found terrible creatures but a creature of Entropy, a God-like creature that predated creation itself, and this creature Alektos faced alone, The duel shook heaven, earth and underworld stirring the Gods, By the time the God's arrived at the battle Alektos' army had routed the minions of Entropy and the Elder God lay slain beside the broken body of Alektos, their armour shattered, spear splintered and sword broken. All that remained of Alektos was the flesh of their mortal body. Mzznit, raged at the Gods for their complacency costing the universe one so great and selfless as Alektos. He and several Teiflings took Alektos' body to the Feywild Temple to burn it upon a pyre, and in that Temple the Ashes of the Hero God are kept. Alektos did not die in vain, galvanised by their grief the Gods fought alongside the followers of Alektos in a war lasting 500 years, keeping the forces of Entropy from the world. But when the war was over the Gods reverted to complacency, the Tieflings made the deal that cursed their race and Alektos' crystals were forgotten, but still, in the Feywild is the Temple of the God of Heroes, waiting for new pilgrims to prove themselves.

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what-even-is-thiss · 7 years ago

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Gender bender au

#sanders sides #genderbend #genderbender #au #roman said a thing

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consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 7 years ago

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9 (Hilariously Accurate) Reasons to Date Someone with Fibromyalgia

New blog post! Whether you're a die-hard romantic or not, it's impossible to ignore the fact that Valentine's Day 2018 is almost here...and that means love is in the air. (Or, at the very least, plastered on every bag of chocolates, desserts or flowers in grocery stores nationwide). To get in the lovey-dovey spirit, I thought I'd talk about a lighter side of living with fibromyalgia: nine hilariously accurate reasons why fibromyalgia warriors are A+ dating material. Sure, this post is written with humor and the traits I list below probably do not all apply to every single person living with fibromyalgia. However, I find that being able to laugh at some of the fibromyalgia symptoms that make my life extra "unique" can make the flare ups and the bad days a lot easier to handle.

So whether you have fibromyalgia, you know someone who does or you're already dating a fibromyalgia warrior, here are nine (funny but true) ways dating someone with fibromyalgia makes life (and romance) even sweeter...

1. Have a brain fart or just have a forgetful nature? We can 100% relate.

I'll be the first to admit that memory isn't my strong suit even when my brain is working perfectly. However, one common symptom of fibromyalgia is brain fog...and during fibromyalgia flare ups, my brain can be so sluggish, I'd fit in perfectly as a zombie extra on The Walking Dead. So, if you're always forgetting where you put your keys last or what day is trash pick up, just know that I might tease you a little, but I'll mostly let it slide. And if your significant other is as familiar with fibromyalgia brain fog as I am, they'll probably have a similar reaction. (Not to mention, appreciate you for what you can remember and help us remember too!).

2. We always have an extra jacket/coat/sweater/scarf nearby in case it's cold.

Even though I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at age 11, I didn't realize how closely related cold sensitivity and fibromyalgia was until a few years ago. Some research actually reports that people with fibromyalgia have lower pain thresholds to hot and cold temperatures...which means, when it's cold, we start to hurt. Fast. So, it really shouldn't be surprising that people with fibromyalgia like me are rarely found with an extra jacket (or two...or three) on hand. If you're the kind of person who's always forgetting to bring that extra layer, maybe Cupid just needs to angle you in our direction? (And not only will we offer you a jacket if you're nice...according to point number one, we also may spare you from excessive scolding for forgetting it in the first place!)

3. Massages will be received with the same thanks and praise as flowers or winning lottery tickets.

When I was growing up, I always joked with my mom that I wanted to marry a cook or a masseuse. Considering that I now know how to whip up plenty of my own delicious gluten free and vegan meals, dating someone with a talent for massages has probably earned an even higher spot on my (somewhat serious) relationship goals. After all, sometimes fibromyalgia flare ups can trigger knots or muscle tightness that no amount of stretching or yoga on our can fix. And while a winning lotto ticket would pay for a lot of physical therapy appointments and flowers are always nice, we'll always be extra thankful for anyone who can help reduce our pain while in the comfort of our own home.

4. We know all the best TV shows to binge watch.

One of the best parts of dating someone with fibromyalgia is the fact that we know exactly which shows are the best to binge watch on Netflix (or any other subscription service). Although not every fibromyalgia warrior may be a TV lover, there is something comforting about cozying up with a good show on Netflix during a bad flare-up. So if you love watching TV but never know which shows are worth your time, knowing someone living with a chronic illness who often relies on TV for distraction could be your "in" to discovering your new favorite shows. (Which, for foodies or documentary lovers, could include some of the food-related Netflix documentaries I list here).

Like this post? Tweet me some love by clicking here: "I'm celebrating #ValentinesDay with some extra love & positivity. Click the link to learn 9 (hilariously accurate) reasons why people with #fibromyalgia are A+ #dating material --> http://bit.ly/2EhEAXZ #chronicillness #fibrowarrior #invisibleillness"

5. When we're having a "good" day, there's no stopping our adventurous side!

Dating someone with fibromyalgia, like dating anyone, involves more than cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix. (Though if that's what forms the basis of your relationship, who am I to judge?) When we do have our fibromyalgia symptoms under control - whether through a new supplement we're trying or just a good day - adventure awaits! Of course, the "adventures" vary depending on the person. For instance, my kind of adventurous date is a long walk along the ocean or hammocking under the stars. Meanwhile, my college roommate (who also has fibromyalgia) has done everything from scuba-diving to breathing fire...and there's no telling what hijinks she'll get up to next. In fact, one could argue that dating someone with fibromyalgia often means dating someone who knows to really appreciate every adventure they go on because adventures aren't a guaranteed option. So even if fibromyalgia may limit our activities sometimes, don't automatically count us out of making some epic memories!

6. We'll rarely turn down a nap or an early bedtime.

In between those adventures, though, there will probably be (a lot of) sleep. Statistics state that as many as 4 in 5 people with fibromyalgia experience severe fatigue, so what may seem like "optional" nap times or late mornings for you are often required energy boosters for us. Ironically, insomnia is another common symptom of fibromyalgia, so some people take sleeping pills, like I do. In my case, those pills mean that I'm rarely hittin' the town after 9 at night, and I don't drive after 7 PM unless there's a special event and I wait to take my pills later. So, if you've previously been teased for your "grandma"-ish early bedtime or you just love quiet nights in, a fibromyalgia warrior might be your sleeping soul mate. Add in our Netflix expertise, and there are plenty of relaxing movie nights in your romantic future.

7. We totally get the magical appeal of comfy clothes and sweats.

Sure, we'll dress up from time to time (or even every weekday, if that helps us consistently slay our work), but we also agree that sweats are one of the best inventions known to mankind. When you're hurting or tired or extra cold (or all of the above), nothing feels better than slipping on your favorite and comfiest clothes. At least in my case, this means that I don't expect my significant others to always dress up for dates. (Especially if it's a freezing cold night in Minnesota!) Who knows? Maybe dating someone with fibromyalgia increases your odds of finding a significant other who agrees that sweatpants and romance aren't mutually exclusive.

8. Our beds are the kings (or queens) of comfort.

Based on the sleeping habits I've observed in myself, my mother and friends with fibromyalgia, people with fibromyalgia are the modern version of Princess and the Pea: if there is something wrong, hard or uncomfortable about a mattress or pillow, we will find it. And, more importantly, it will keep us from falling and staying asleep. Typically, that means our beds are cozied up to perfection, whether through additional padding, extra fluffy blankets, and/or a perfect pillow that offers support without screwing up your neck. Just don't say I didn't warn you: our beds can be so comfortable, you'll fall asleep during your Netflix date...and depending on how nice we're feeling, we may or may not pause the episode.

9. If you accommodate our fibromyalgia quirks, you'll always be appreciated.

The truth is, fibromyalgia affects many parts of my everyday life. It impacts which foods I decide to eat, which forms of exercise I do or even when I'm available to hang out (nothing sets a strict "curfew" like sleeping meds!). So, when I find people who recognize and accept my fibromyalgia quirks, I'm extra appreciative. Not only because others' support makes living with fibromyalgia easier, but also because my chronic illness is part of who I am...and accepting my chronic illness means that person is accepting and loving all of me. I imagine that most people with fibromyalgia would say the same thing. Valentine's Day can trigger a variety of feelings. For some, it's the perfect day to celebrate a loving relationship. For others, it's just another way to say "Single Awareness Day." This year, though, I want to send my love to more than just one person or my own group of family and friends. I want to send it to every other person kicking life's booty while living with fibromyalgia. Equally important, I want to send love to their significant others because support really can make the difference between living and thriving with chronic illness.

And if you've never dated someone with a chronic illness but fall in love with someone with fibromyalgia one day? Well, I hope you keep this post in the back of your mind, and remember that a little bit of humor and a lot of positivity can reveal hidden blessings in the chronic illness that shapes your loved one's life. Happy Early Valentine's Day! (And if you liked this post...don't miss looking at the one that inspired it, my 2015 list of 8 Hilariously Accurate Reasons to Date Someone with Celiac Disease!) No questions - just tell me your thoughts in the comments! via Blogger http://ift.tt/2G9h0gS

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

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islandofkiwi-blog · 8 years ago

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Time’s Mirror Episode 1 - A Web Series by Steven Embers

Prologue

Someone once told me that remembering your past betrays your present. He didn’t tell me what he meant, but instead advised me to go home and think about it, which I think is a bit like saying “go talk with yourself about whether or not I actually said something profound, while I wait here and take no responsibility for my words.” I did as I was told, though, and I ended up coming to a conclusion that he was talking about how our memory is often an incomplete representation of any given situation.

Like when the future you remembers the present you he will inevitably forget some of the little intricacies that went into creating that memory preserved in your shared brain. Maybe he’ll forget how cool your hair looked that day, or how you had a bad habit of chewing your nails when you listen to people talk, or (heaven help him) how much that one, trashy, rock chorus influenced you, and in doing so he will unintentionally marginalize the thought of you almost as if he was a stranger observing a story less important than his own.

When I was done thinking about that, however, I started to wonder if the true meaning behind my irresponsible philosopher’s words was that remembering your past betrays you because during that time you stop living in the present and you become a shadow of the person you were in the past; never changing, never growing.

But in the end, I resolved that the saying was just fancy wordplay, as most sayings are, and I thought that whatever profundity this particular cadence of words represented was probably not worth the internal distress I was having, so I chose to forget about the matter entirely.

I never had the chance to ask my mentor what he meant by those words, and he’s gone now so I suppose I will never know, but now I am thinking about my past and his words have resurfaced in my mind like long lost counsel waiting for the appropriate moment to reveal its true nature.

I think the place that I am in right now is something that I will take with me until I die and I desperately want to not misremember even the smallest detail. Yet I feel so close to my experience right now, too close to write about it, because I would rather continue living it. So I’m reflecting and typing and shivering because it’s really cold, and I’ve finally decided that trying to remember the past is not a sin or any other cautionary stigma I created for myself while pondering that old advice, and I should at least try to record the unbelievable journey I’ve taken.

I guess I should start with an introduction.

My name is Bailey Prince. It’s a girl’s name. I was teased for it because I’m a boy and in all the sixteen years of my life I can’t say I’ve ever been comfortable with using my name as a first impression because of an intense reflex of fear of being mocked.

For the few sadistic people, and sometimes for the innocently curious ones who ask me where my name came from, I tell them it came from my father. My mother only wanted one child and my father had always wanted a daughter whose name he dreamt was Bailey. God let one and a half of their two wishes come true, but everyone knows that having half a wish come true is like finding a magic lamp but figuring out that the genie you summon only speaks Arabic and has to use a dictionary to translate what you’re wishing for.

I suppose I can remove any wary doubt by saying that this is not a story about bad names; it just happens to be a circumstance of my existence. But if I were to provide any commentary about the topic to any expectant parents who want to name their kid Seafoam Green it’d have to simply be: don’t.

My name doesn’t really bother me anymore, but I think that’s also a result of this journey, because before all this started I was concerned that maybe my name would be my only gimmick. I thought that maybe I wouldn’t get to be any more interesting than a cross-gendered name, because there’s a limit to how interesting people can be. Like when you introduce yourself to someone, you should be able to summarize all the interesting points of your life in the first fifteen minutes, and when I introduce myself to people we spend the first five minutes discussing my weird name. I thought that maybe if I was born a David or an Andrew I could put my interesting minutes to work by slaying dragons or saving princesses.

When I was a kid I loved adventure stories: the mighty swords and steeds; the fair maiden turned damsel in distress; the unexpected hero and his crucial battle for justice against evildoers. That’s all I really wanted for myself – well, that and a dog, but I didn’t get the dog either – but I didn’t think that it was something that my tiny town in Colorado, wedged in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains, could provide me.

And then it was. Not the dog part, I never got that. But one auspicious day, a winter wind swept through town and it brought with it the most mystifying girl and her insanely smart father and together they changed my entire life. This is my story, my memoir, and it will help me remember every pounding heartbeat; every sinking feeling that I was “going to die;” every tear I’ve shed and all the blood I’ve seen; every wonderful, mind-blowing kiss; and, yes, even the boring parts which I’m trying to make not so boring by writing this.

These are my fifteen interesting minutes, and I feel them ticking towards eternity the longer I spend with her.

But we’ll get to my mystery girl in a moment, for now I want to go back to the beginning.

I guess it all starts with…

Chapter 1

It was ten minutes until the New Year at Eva Daniels’ house. A couple dozen of my high school classmates were packed haphazardly into the living room while the television played live coverage from Times Square of a scantily clad popstar’s dance routine of radio’s favorite pop song. The singer looked angelic as a flurry of real snow began to fall on the stage, and she played it off as if the weather was planned into the routine. I was sitting towards the back of the room with my friend Mark Daly, but I could still see the screen over the heads in the crowded room since it was fixed at the top of the wall – sometimes forcing my eyes to see the screen to distract myself when something made me feel uncomfortable.

The night had started okay. It was the third time I’d been invited to Eva’s annual party, but this time had been a little different. While before I had been invited because we were friends going back to elementary school, this year Eva was without a boyfriend, and she made it clear that she wanted me to be her backup kiss at midnight. I had no problem with that, of course, but I also knew that probably nothing could come out of it since we had grown too different over the years so I was basically still there as her old friend.

Mark had found me early in the night and he clung to me like plastic wrap for the entire party, unmovable even when I’d gotten tired of being smothered and tried any subtle way I could to get him to let me breathe.

“Yo, Mark,” I said at ten thirty, seeing his girlfriend glancing in our direction for no more than a second. “Jen is staring at you, man. You better get your black ass over there.”

“Nah, B,” he replied in his lullaby chocolate voice, completely unfazed. “You gotta make ‘em wait for you.”

“Hey, Mark,” I said at eleven, thinking I finally had the key to my human-shaped handcuffs. “Eva said she might want to kiss me at midnight. You mind if I go see what’s up?

“Man, B,” he responded, rejecting my metaphorical key. “There’s no way Eva wants to kiss a fool like you. Get outta with that noise.”

It’s not like I hated Mark; he was one of my best friends since we were kids. But I could sense something was weird about him that night and I would rather talk with him somewhere more private.

“Mark, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” I said at eleven thirty, even though I didn’t have to go to the bathroom.

“All right, B.”

For a second, I thought I was free, but I made it about three feet away before the sound of his voice stopped me again.

“Hey, can I tell you something?”

I looked at him.

“You’re a good friend,” he said, grinning with his teeth.

I sighed and stepped back towards him. “Okay, what is up with you tonight?”

“What?” he asked innocently. “I can’t tell a brother he’s a good friend?”

I considered myself intuitive or observant at least, and I knew Mark well enough to see that something was bothering him. I actually saw it on his face as soon as he came up to me for the first time that night, but I didn’t want to say anything.

“No, you don’t get to call me a good friend. Not if you’re not going to let me be one. What’s up with you tonight? You haven’t talked to anyone else here.”

I sat back down on the barstool at the back of the room, and I listened to Sara Baker and Tess Newman talk about prom while I waited for Mark.

“Same old Bailey,” he said, taking a seat on the stool next to me. “Never could let anything go.”

I said nothing and let my attention shift towards the live feed from Times Square. They were announcing the popstar’s performance, “right after these words from our sponsors,” meaning “in fifteen minutes.”

“My brother died two days ago.” Mark finally said flatly. There was no anger or sadness in his voice despite the bad news.

“What the hell,” I whispered, too shocked to say anything meaningful.

Mark told his story like he wasn’t part of it. Like he was trying to be as disconnected as possible from the experience, but I could tell he was hurting.

“He was driving home from work on the interstate and it was kind of icy. The car in front of him went into a skid. Bobby hit the brakes but it wasn’t enough. Bobby runs into the other guy’s bumper and the car behind him was tailgating so his headlights are in Bobby’s trunk a second later. Police were there in ten minutes but he was DOA. Bobby was the only one dead. They said he would probably have survived the first impact.”

“What the hell,” I repeated.

“I didn’t want to bring you down. Sorry.”

Everything started to fade away. The sounds of the party dimmed and all that was left was the tragic news and the welling pain in my stomach. Bobby was my friend, even though he was seven years older than me he was my friend. Now he was gone. Mark was my friend, and I hurt for him and his family.

“What the hell are you doing here? You should be with your family.”

He shrugged. “Man, you’re my family, too. My dad said that we all needed to spend some time being alive before we can know what it’s like to be dead. Being here is good. Being with you, B…” He stuck out his fist and I bumped mine into his. “It’s good.”

I looked at him. He seemed to be handling it.

“What do you need me to do?”

“You, Bailey?” He shook his head. “Man, you don’t need to do anything. Just listen to this. You remember that time…”

He recounted the story. I looked at the TV a couple times. I watched the faces in New York. I saw people from every corner of the world gathering to see the spectacle. I began to cry. I cried passive tears without trembling, fighting a public breakdown so I wouldn’t ruin the cheerful mood of the party but still letting myself feel pain. He patted me on the shoulder and it was like he became the outsider attending to my tragedy.

“Damn, B. This a’int nothing to cry over.”

“What the hell do you want me to do?” I said with tears stuffing my nose.

“I already told you. You don’t need to do anything. I’m letting you know this is a new me. The only thing I can wrap my mind around these past few days is that the life you have is so tiny. It changes like that.” He snapped his fingers as he said the word. “In a hot second it’s gone for reasons you can’t even control. Man, you don’t need to cry for me or for Bobby. All I need is for you to laugh with me, because I already decided that I’m not gonna waste any more time on stupid shit. I wanna say what I mean, and do what I wanna do.”

On the television, the singer had finished her routine and out of the corner of my eye I saw Eva Daniels approaching us. I rubbed away the tears under my eyes. It looked like Mark was going to make a finishing statement to his grand speech, but Eva interrupted him.

“Hey, boys.” She spoke in a cheerful, girlish tone. “Glad to see you made it.” Technically, it was the first time she had spoken to me at the party, not counting the subtle wink she had given me at the door.

“Thanks for having us, Eva,” Mark said calmly. “I almost canceled, but I knew all the cool kids would be here and I didn’t want to lose my membership.”

She giggled. “Well I’m glad you’re here. Can I see Bailey for a second?”

Mark raised his eyebrows in a way that I knew meant he was up to something. “Can I just say you are looking damn fine in that dress, Eva. Is it true that you want to kiss my man Bailey here?”

She looked at me again and I looked back at the TV. The one-minute countdown to midnight had appeared in the bottom of the screen and most of the people in the room were gathering to watch.

Eva shrugged and said “I don’t think that’s any of your business, but I would like to speak with him. Privately.”

“Ah.” Mark made a show of nodding as the clock ticked down. “Okay. I understand, but we’re having a discussion right now and it would be terrible if you filled his mind with girly things while I’m trying to impart some of my wisdom.”

“Excuse me?” Eva said, looking almost panicked. The ten-second countdown had started and everyone in the room began chanting in unison. Ten. Nine.

“You heard me, woman.” Mark said casually. Eight.

“Bailey,” Eva addressed me. Seven.

I started to stand, but Mark put his hand on my shoulder. Six. Five.

Eva took my hand in hers, it was soft and small and a little sweaty. Four.

Mark kept his hand on my shoulder as he got out of his chair and walked around to stand in front of me. It went silent for half a heartbeat as I looked from Mark to Eva and then back again. I wasn’t exactly sure what was about to happen. Three. Two.

“I LOVE BAILEY PRINCE!” Mark announced at the top of his lungs. One.

Midnight, the new year, Mark kissed me right on the lips. He grabbed me forcefully on either side of my face and squeezed my cheeks together so that my lips puckered naturally and he pressed his face into mine. His lips were chapped and rough and smaller than I expected and the stubble on his upper lip rubbed against me and felt strange. My eyes were open and I snuck a glance at Eva during the second Mark was kissing me. Her hand was still on mine but her grip loosened and her eyes got real wide so I could see a bit of shock in her sky blue irises. Mark held his face against mine for longer than I expected and I pushed him away when I thought he was about to stick his tongue in my mouth.

Eva didn’t kiss me after that. She sarcastically wished me “good luck,” and walked away quietly. Some of the other people at the party, attracted by Mark’s loud declaration watched the whole thing and the rumor spread over the rest of winter break that Mark and I were about to be the next hot couple in town. Of course that wasn’t true, but it made for a better story.

Meanwhile, I found myself thinking constantly about how Mark had boldly claimed that he was going to be a new person. Even so close to his brother’s death, he was able to laugh and be spontaneous and not care at all what people thought. The kiss represented something more to him. It showed his determination to experience new things and live freely. He shared that motivation with me and transferred something to me that night, some virus that infected my mind and made every part of me aware of how boring my life was. His actions made me want something more: adventure or purpose or love, something I couldn’t place my finger on but that I felt was missing like a giant, gaping hole in my chest.

As winter trudged along and Bobby’s funeral came and went, I felt more and more frustrated that I couldn’t figure out a way to break out of my sense of inadequacy. I was bored, and half a month later I was still struggling with my boredom.

I opened my locker door on the first day of school of the new year and stared at the worn out bindings of the textbooks I hadn’t seen since last semester. Outside the clouds were grey and there was supposed to be a snowstorm coming, but school continued to be in session despite the predicted bad weather. Returning to my day job made me somehow more frustrated than I had been during the break. Everything was exactly as I left it, though I didn’t know what I expected to find changed.

I started picking at the paint on the inside of my locker, letting my mind wander absently. I held the door with my other arm and swung my body back and forth with the creaking hinge, the repetitive motion slowly rocking my thoughts away.

I was beginning to fall asleep on my feet, when I heard a loud slam on the wall behind me that startled me.

"Well? You gonna give it?” A rough voice echoed off the wall, disturbing peaceful morning. “Or do I have to get The Jock here to shake it out of your backpack for you?"

I turned to see Dylan Clifford, a five foot ten punk that fancied himself a bad boy, standing over a tiny, Indian kid. The bully acted like the over exaggerated representation of an Italian mob boss from a 70’s mafia film. He had the entourage, the saucy accent, and the perfectly rounded vowels to boot. Lacked the charisma, though. Actually, he might’ve been a choir boy if he hadn’t found his place as the power saw in the assemblage of tools at our school.

The Indian boy was a new face, but he’d found himself as prey for the biggest delinquents in the school. I was too annoyed with my thoughts to want to get involved at first, but I figured I needed a distraction and decided to intervene on behalf of the kid’s milk money.

“Hey, Clifford,” I shouted across the hallway and approached the group. Two of his goons tried to stop me in a synchronized move that must have taken months of practice to perfect, but I pushed through them to confront Dylan. He still had his arm against the wall, cornering the boy with the help of his evil sidekick, Rodney “The Jock” Hemsworth.

“What’s the deal here?” I asked, “This little guy giving you trouble?”

“Oh, hey Baby.” One time when we were kids I misspoke my name as ‘Baby Prince,’ and it stuck as one of my many, disparaging nicknames.

“I heard you had a fun time on New Year’s Eve. Deal here is this little twerp won’t give me the answers to the math homework we were supposed to do over break. And I know he has it, because he never forgets to turn it in during class.” He made a threatening motion with his fist towards the kid.

“Wait, hold on.” I moved in between them, “You need answers to freshman math homework? You didn’t fail a grade, did you?”

“No, Princess, I didn’t. I’m a junior, just like you. I’m just taking sophomore math ‘cause they wouldn’t give me credit for my pretty sixty percent last year. And this kid’s one of those… uh, whadd’ya call ‘em…” He started snapping his fingers like he was trying to summon the word.

“Accelerated learners,” offered The Jock.

“Yeah, Rod. That’s it. Accelerated learners.” He took a second to spit a wad of saliva onto the floor. “Some kids are too smart for their own good. They’re bound to get hit by the pecking order at some point or another. I’m doing him a favor.”

I nodded my head sarcastically. “You have a point there,” I said, agreeably, “but this one is my friend and I’m not going to let you torture answers out of him. So here we go.” I tried to pull the kid from the crowd.

Dylan swatted my arm away from his victim. “Hold up, Babe. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that. I’ll give you ten bucks right now if you can tell me this kid’s name.”

He had me. I looked down at the kid then back at Dylan. I knew any hesitation would kill my story, so I responded quickly. “His name is Raj. Can we go now?”

“Whoa, dude. No way.” He looked over at his goons and whispered at them. “That’s not the kid’s name, is it?”

“Oh, yeah? So you actually bothered to learn his name? You’ve really changed, Dylan.” I fake applauded and then grabbed the kid’s arm and pulled him away before any of them could protest. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

I shouted at Dylan over my shoulder as we left. “Your problem, Clifford, is that you have no respect for others. You’d be surprised to know that some people have more to offer you than test answers.”

And by the time I’d finished babbling we’d made it past a corner and disappeared into the crowd while Dylan stared blankly.

I hadn’t exactly thought about what I was going to do after I saved the kid so we just stood there awkwardly for a second or two without saying anything.

The boy looked down at the floor, unwilling to make eye contact with me. I wasn’t able to get a good read on him, so I decided to just walk away. “Okay… well, see you,” I said awkwardly.

I was just starting to turn as I heard his timid voice call out behind me. “My name’s Henry.”

“Oh.” I turned around, but kept shuffling backwards. “Yeah, sorry about that, I was just trying to get you out of there.” I scratched my head but continued moving down the hallway.

I knew it.” I heard Dylan’s shout come from across my shoulder and I whirled around. “Give me those answers, Henry, and we won’t have a problem.” He laughed. “You almost made me forget that I really needed to pass this class, Bailey.”

“Hey, you didn’t call me ‘Princess’ this time.”

“This is too serious for great nicknames. I need to copy those answers before second period.” Dylan made a lunge at the kid, whose favorite form of self-defense seemed to be The Possum because he went limp.

I was a step faster than Dylan, and I grabbed the kid’s arm just in time to turn and run. “All right, man. Just run as fast as you can,” I whispered to him.

I half-dragged Henry behind me, because it seemed like he only knew how to move with the robotic motions of a silicone doll. Luckily, he was only about as heavy as one, too, so I pulled him through the crowded hall and hoped that someone would eventually stop the stampeding group of low-lives. I snuck a glance back over my shoulder and saw Dylan and his posse pushing over anyone and everyone, even the people trying to get out of his way.

My goal was the library. I figured if I couldn’t lose him in a sea of people it would probably be best to take shelter in an open space with adult supervision. We were still in high school, and judging by how hard he was trying to cheat his way through Sophomore level math he still had to worry about the authority.

We dashed down the hallway, rounding a corner before arriving at the library. I checked behind us to see if Dylan was still following us and, seeing a sea of people part the middle of the hallway for him to pass, I assumed he was. I pushed Henry through the library doors and ducked in after him. Hopefully, Dylan would just give up, because my heart was already pounding from the unusual amount of exercise so early in the morning.

The library was an open area with tables in the center of the floor and bookcases lining the walls. At the front of the room were small, study alcoves and a very simple check-out counter leading out to the only door. Some teachers were helping kids with early morning questions in the study alcoves and the school librarian was busy reading a book behind the counter so I decided it was a safe place to stay. I led Henry to one of the center tables and I sat across from him so I could watch the door.

There was silence for a couple moments, during which Henry just stared at the floor and started wheezing to find his breath and I looked at the door behind him waiting for a crazed Dylan to bust into the room and order my execution. Nothing happened and finally, I couldn’t take the silence and had to break the tension.

“So how was your Christmas break?” I asked.

The kid was in worse shape than I was which only made me feel worse. “My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas,” he managed to say through shallow breaths.

“I meant more along the lines of you doing anything special.” I kept one eye on the door while I actually looked at him for the first time since I’d seen him. He had features like a mouse with a nose that seemed to draw any attention directed towards it.

“Why are you asking me this?” He sounded upset.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, really. We’re going to have to wait here awhile though, so I thought I’d try to make conversation.”

“Why do we have to wait here?” His voice started to sound almost hostile.

“I mean, isn’t there someone who wants to kill you out there?”

He looked down, avoiding eye contact. There was more silence before he finally squeaked “Why did you save me?”

I thought for a moment, and felt like I didn’t know the answer myself. I spoke uncertainly.

“I don’t know if ‘saved’ is the right word for it, but it looked like you needed help and I really don’t like Dylan.”

“Oh.” He sat quietly for a second before looking up at me with fairy tale doe eyes. “I thought you might have wanted to be my friend.”

Just so we’re clear, the sparkling eyes is an effect that only animated characters can accomplish. I took one look at him and decided his was a ridiculous theory, but I knew I couldn’t say that to his face.

“It wasn’t really part of my plan,” I stated, but I saw his face get very sad which was almost an effect worse than the doe eyes, so I added quickly, “But, you know, I’m never above making new friends,” which elicited a toothy grin.

Normally, I probably would have melted on the inside when such a childishly innocent creature made that kind of face at me, but somehow all I saw was a mistake of nature smiling at me with unusually large gums and braces restraining a massive overbite.

I shoved the ugly feeling to the back of my brain and forced a smile back at him.

“So how’s school, then?” I decided to give him a chance to let his shining personality break through his rough exterior.

“It’s good. I have straight A’s.”

“That’s… well that’s good.” I couldn’t think of anything more to say and I was suddenly aware that my chair was really uncomfortable.

We sat like that for a good minute and I started to think that the mind-numbing silence was worse than getting beaten up by Dylan.

“So, class is probably starting soon and I don’t want to be late,” I lied. “Why don’t we pick this up some other time?”

“Okay,” he said, innocently.

I stood up and started to walk away.

“Actually,” he stopped me, and I was only two steps out of my seat, too close to pretend I hadn’t heard him. “Can I ask you something?” His voice was shaking.

“Um.” I gazed longingly at the door, but forced myself to sit down because I knew I would feel bad if I just left. “Sure, what’s on your mind?”

“Well, it’s about high school.” He kept stopping after every phrase, like he couldn’t get a complete thought to come out.

“Okay. What about?” I tried to guide him, “Girls? Bad teachers? Did you meet Rocko? Don’t buy whatever he’s selling.”

“It’s just that…” He paused again and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Well I moved here during the fall and I’ve been here for a semester already, but I haven’t really been able to make any friends. Everybody just seems to stare right through me and the only time people talk to me is when they have questions about homework.”

When he finished, I felt bad about my previous thoughts. First impression, oppression, as my mother would say.

I tried to come up with an answer for him, but it was hard because I knew I would definitely be one of those shameless people asking a freshman for help and I was obviously one of those people who wouldn’t bother to talk to him afterwards.

“I can relate a little bit,” I lied, trying to give him what he needed to hear. “People like to pick on me because of my name; I have a really girly one. Bailey Prince.” I reached over the table to shake his hand and he giggled a little bit which made me smile.

My awful concentration on his physical appearance seemed to melt away as I began to see just a lonely kid looking for a friend. I wanted to inspire him somehow, to help him escape from the natural, defensive shell that always seems to hinder the real, human experience.

“You just have to stop worrying about what people will think about you if you just put yourself out there,” I said. “High school is this time when you’re supposed to figure out who you are. And all your classmates will pretend like they’re so complicated or they have everything under control, but they’re not and they don’t. We’re all the same, us high school students, we’re just looking for love, and direction, and test answers. So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Because it’s okay to make mistakes. Just, really, don’t buy anything from Rocko; those aren’t the right mistakes you want to make.”

It was cheese straight out of an afterschool special, but I figured everyone could stand to watch a little more, trashy television. I did feel a little pretentious trying to make generalizations about teenagers when I was clearly not any more mature than my peers, but my ego took a back seat as I tried to advise this kid who just wanted to be noticed by someone.

I was about to tell him something about talking to girls when I saw the library door open. I nearly fell out of my seat expecting Dylan to show his face when I had just talked myself into a vulnerable position, but I let out a sigh of relief when the second librarian walked in, whistling cheerfully over the top of his coffee mug.

Henry looked behind him and when he turned back around I gave a lopsided smile to acknowledge how stupid I looked. He giggled again and a warm wave of something I could only call serenity filled my insides. When the moment passed he told me he should probably get to class and I told him I’d see him around. But as I watched him walk away with his uneven gait, I started to realize something.

I was finally ready to accept what my high school years had to offer. I wanted to take my own advice and learn something about what I wanted to do with myself. Mark had planted the seed in my heart, and the conversation with Henry had watered it, but I was letting it take root.

I sighed as I realized that I was ready to leave.

TO BE CONTINUED!

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