#I ACTUALLY DID THIS A COUPLE WEEKS AGO I JUST NEVER POSTED IT 💔

[dragon-spaghetti]

They should fight together more often 💖

(Please click for better quality!!)

[minquiec]

Why GiftedEyes is kinda special to me

Oh my goddd it's been a while since I yapped 😭 I've just been busy I promise I never stop the yap but this is uhmmm smth new that I haven't really posted about cause I literally came up w it 3-5 weeks ago but it's a oc PLUS canon not oc X canon cause it's a platonic pairing between an oc and.....GOJO SATORU OUT OF ALL PPL but yea enjoy I think

This is but a temporary diversion from jipunk hshahaha cause thinking abt moving on makes me wanna throw up cause I don't like change 😍😍 but I realise it's okay to like multiple things at the same time and it doesn't define me 🤺 so anyways

(I still love all my ocs and characters and ships and what not I never move on I just can't multitask and fixate on two things at once [me trying to self affirm LOL])

So how the fuck did I get here

How did I join the masses and suddenly become a gojo satoru enjoyer? Tbh idrk cause I've been into jjk for a while and it kinda appears in phases where I'd be pretty into it for a week and then ease out and then repeat for the next couple of months but this time round it's especially bad for some reason bc???? Hello??? I suddenly grew heart eyes for gojo satoru?? Scratches head fr but LAWD ITA SO FUN cause fanart wise jjk is a way more popular series than spiderverse and i can literally feel my starving body being replenished

But besides him being obviously a pretty boy I've actually grown to like his character a lot

So you see ☝️🤓 the problem w me is whenever I like a character I always gotta really REALLY like them to the point when I start analysing their personality to see if I actually fr like them and that's how it lasts longer than an average "he fine I want him"

And w gojo I think I realized I rlly like characters who have compassion for other ppl? 😭 but it's gotta have layers idk I have a range of types so maybe I'm just talking bs

Cause it's not rlly obvious w gojo but he's really kind in terms of his compassion for humanity which makes me ssooo 🙂‍↕️☝️😭🙏🙆‍♀️🤺🫶💔💔🧍‍♂️🗣️📈📈🔥🔥‼️🆙🆙 and it shows in the way he treats his students (ignoring the fact bro stepped on peoples faces in shibuya but you sort of get what i mean not really) and in that one line where he said smth like "no one should take the youth away from young people" and im going to leap because of his own youth that was taken from literally his birth cause of his groundbreaking, historic birth with his six eyes AND limitless

So very obviously he didn't have a normal childhood, probably put on a pedestal and worshipped which meant he grew up! Kinda weirdly! And when he met suguru he could probably experience his youth for the first time (geto!! Suguru!!! Was his first and last blue spring!!!! Blue spring is a poetic way of saying youth!!!! I'm gonna LEAP) and that youth was prematurely taken away at FIFTEEN and SSEECONNDD YEAR when riko was killed which could basically be a metaphor of the death of their youth with their morals and principles being thrown into a clothes dryer and tumbled around

And I'm not gonna. Get into how much stsg make me wanna tear my hair out cause tbh I Will Cry cause I've cried atleast 4 times about them before and I'm trying to keep my peace and they actually make me so sad bc the depth of their connection Makes Me Want to dddiiieeeee 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ they're so much more than just ahaha silly ship tgt and it drives me crazy but I'm not gonna get into it bc once again; I'm Gonna Cry

Anyways back to sat or oo gojo, he can do very easily be that cold typical guy that doesn't care but instead he chooses to hold the responsibility of the jujutsu world on his shoulders alone bc unlike the higher ups who are fucking useless!!!! He doesn't want the youth to suffer for the mistakes (they inevitably do anyways though 💔) cause I saw this tweet where he literally, could've solved the whole shibuya incident in a split second if he wanted (hollow purple the whole place and easy as that) but because of the innocent people involved he chose to literally risk vulnerability by over exerting to the max like wtf did you see that he's insane he's crazy he's gojo satoru (which in the end cost him his temporary freedom 💔💔💔 but I digress)

But uhmmm that concludes why I like him so much rn 🙏🙏 I saw this rlly good tweet where it mentions from who I believe is a jjk screen writer?? And mentions that gojos attractiveness stems from his ability to show weakness and that he isn't all invincible in terms of character and im like uuueEEEEEE but I appreciate him a lot

So ofc as any normal person would deal with loving a character, obviously my crazy ass decided "wow!! What a tragic character who's so, so lonely!!! I can't stand this and my heart cries for you so I'm gonna give you a companion because the canonical media treats you too painfully!!!!!"

Like a normal person does

So now we enter mins crazy bitch domain, my mind palace, my noggin if you will and all this takes a sharp detour to Cringeville but when have I ever gaf

A key aspect of Ruri's character is that she revolves around the failure of authorities in her life, starting from young where she is exploited for monetary means because of her jujutsu talent. I kinda made it on purpose that she parallels w satoru in a way where both were deprived of a normal childhood due to their talent? She is then failed again by the higher ups in the incident where she loses an eye due to their mistake and it's important to note that during this time (around ~2006 to ~2007) the star vessel plasma stuff happened and haibara dying due to higher ups so it really just solidifies that theme of children being exploited and burdened for the mistakes cause by the generation before them.

So because of this, there's already a different kind of connection between all of the surviving students of this time (mmm sort of minus suguru cause he went off and uhm,, started his cult and became public enemy #1)

On top of this initial connection of trauma, prior to it ruri and satoru had a more whimsical thing going on where they both have special eyes kind of (hence why I named it GiftedEyes cause they're technically both gifted in their own sense and they got fucked up eyes hahahaha) and during this time period, he's just very cheeky and cocky and she barely tolerates him bc ehhh he's just like that but he's nice in his own fucked up way

For shoko and suguru it's more of a normal friendly close relationship cause ruri's canonically likeable HaHaHa she's just very nice to be around so the 4 are in this close friend group tgt but I won't get tm into their dynamic or whtevr the fuck they have going on

So after the star ves incident and ruri's accident, she disappears for like ATLEAST A DECADE I THINK,,, TO HEAL?? (I'm still working on this but all ik is the higher ups took her away for healing) so none of the three see her again till 2018 (WHAT REALLY FUCKS ME UP IS THAT SHE NEVER GOT TO SEE SUGURU AGAIN,,,,, there's one situation where she actually sort of walks past mimiko and nanako in a public setting and she recognises a bit of his CE [this shit ain't canon, making this up cause it's part of her CT ajjajaj] but she brushes it off)

But anyways the dynamic changed when they meet again as adults in 2018 where instead of barely tolerating his shenanigans, ruri grew to be one of very few people who actually indulge his personality (as masked as it might be bc cmon now) because seeing familiar faces after all they've been through makes her sad 😞😞 it doesn't help she's older AJAJA only by a little but she's biologically inclined (ruri: oct 20 shoko: nov 7 satoru: dec 7 suguru: feb 3)

And while I say indulge, I don't mean she's actively encouraging it LOL she still has that stoic calm personality from adolescence but it's more like she turns the other way whenever he's being goofy (she buys him sweets and souvenirs whenever she comes back from missions)

And its cause like, the idea of someone who's on the top of the chain, the world even, finding comfort in an old friend makes me soooooo sssssssooooooo aAAAUYYEEUUGGHHHHHH it's what he deserves after so long so this is my coping okay and it kills me cause i think he (bear with me here lemme be cringe) would find a lot of comfort in her presence again cause sometimes it's like she's a time capsule from the distant past where he was actually happy and can't help but almost revert to the silly cheeky version 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ he may be suffering from his breakup for the past decade BUT atleast he got his girl SPACEBAR friends to support him (shoko and ruri)

Platonic love also really makes me sob cause like ,,, it's the way you've formed such a connection and affection (non romantically) strung by the mishaps and tragedies you've suffered together,,,ueueue but yea that's it i think i need to honk shoo mimimi they r special to me

[mtnkat3]

11.46pm

DOne.

When I misunderstood that post.

Was it the last straw for You with me?

If You can honestly say that You have thought me Your soul's mate, but that I have maimed You...

I just wanna die now.

The thought of losing You.

Losing You DOne.

Or DPOne. Or Alll.

Am I that horrible a woman???

Then pray God takes me home tonight.

Because the thought of going on without You or DPOne or Alll is mor than I can bare.

Maybe You/Alll think I've been blowing smoke or lying or any of that type of bullshit.

I have not.

I literally am waiting on my dang atty!!!

I was told not to touch those funds yet.

Otherwise I'd be buying my suitcase & getting a rental car & asking You/Alll

When & where.

Just wanna crawl to You Alll right now.

Dignity means squat in the face of losing one of my soul's Mate/s!!!

Do You Alll want to know what woke me up literally basically an hour ago???

You.

You DOne.

You posting.

And...

You hate me.

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I am deeply sorrowful for Alll the pain I have wrought You/Alll.

DOne. DPOne. Alll.

For alll the mistakes.

From back then that You/Alll could evidently just walk away.

Until I stumbled upon You/Alll again in 2019-20.

And those horrible mistakes here.

Then my stumbling here now since March.

Trying to force wh to let go!

Everything that I have done wrong.

Maybe that includes existing to You Alll now?

I guess You/Alll didn't want me to go down that way to the beach to see You/Alll afterall?

I have been planning to go that way since welll last year.

Thought I'd sit on the beach somewhere near DPOne for awhile ...a month... & pray You/Alll find me. Want me.

But I have screwed the pooch one too many times DOne?

The thought of loving me is no longer a source of strength but of burden?

Did You Alll not want me to back in March?

Should I have just left You Alll alone?

How do I live without my soul's Mate/s...

It isn't worth it to me.

This has been the worst week. Mistakes & feeling You/Alll pulling away & reacting.

I have been wanting to speak to each of You/Alll privately until ... but I've never been the type of woman to be burdensome, at least I try not to be. And I am submissive. And I am old fashioned. I thought You would speak to me if You/Alll wanted to.

But I guess You/Alll ... are pulling back. Totally.

I love You/Alll. DOne. DPOne. & Alll.

I can't. I won't. Undo that.

So in the next couple of weeks I will leave You/Alll each private messages with where I will be.

If You Alll want to know.

If God makes me stay.

I don't give a damn what anybody else thinks.

Only You DOne DPOne &Alll.

So if You/Alll think I've got tooo much growing left to do.

The thought of...

Soul's Mate/s. Bear/s King/s Alpha/s Warrior/s Mate/s Love/s husbands lovers Daddys...babies guides teachers protectors....

If Alll of those beautiful parts of each of You/Alll isn't to be with me...

Let me die. Please. Because I can't let go. So God. Please. Take me home.

Welll actually the lower Appalachian mountains chain yes.

But.

I meant to Heaven.

Because me thinking of losing my soul's Mate/s has factured my soul.

It's... unbearable.

"Shattered." Doesn't really even cover it. But that the pieces I don't think God wants to put back together. More fragile than humpty dumpty falling off the wall.

Every night I've stayed up, hoping & praying that You/Alll will feel me, want to talk to me. Then finally go to bed. Praying for a miracle. That the day will start fresh, that Your/Alll's love is renewed & miraculously You/Alll want me.

But I've not gotten anything right have I...

DOne... I watch the "updated...15...hours ago..." and my heart breaks each time.

I've wanted to say it was self care & life pulling at You.

But it was You wanting me to go away wasn't it...

It was me having lost esteem in Your/Alll's eyes.

I love You/Alll.

Whatever it means to You/Alll... anymore.

I am. Have always been. I can't help but to always be.

Heck, I haven't stopped looking at sheer white, nor deep v back dresses.

i guess I should though.

I haven't stopped looking at the rings I wear on my left middle.

But I guess I should stop now.

Oh God.

"True love waits." It is Yours Gods.

Because I have totally screwed it Alll up!!!!

I go to bed in a few now. And pray to not wake.

Because... I love You/Alll completely.

But I'm not good enough.

~Your's/s' DOne DPOne &Alll. 🔆💔

Even though. You Alll have my keys.

And always will.

I'm sorry DOne DPOne &Alll.

I love You/Alll.

Good... night.

Fr.7.29.2022 12.45am

💔🔆🔱⚜🗝♾🕯☔🌂🔗⚓🙇‍♀️🙏