#Hwasa scenarios

[mingiswow]

Boyfriend | Ahn Hyejin

Pairing: Hwasa x fem!reader

Words: ~ 4.1k

Genre: smut, mutual pinning, friends to strangers to lovers, a little angst

Content Warning: smut, mentions of alcohol and food consumption, hwasa and reader are both stupid, ridiculous amount of pet names

Smut warning: unprotected sex (stds exist kiddos), oral, fingering, finger sucking, scissoring, multiple orgasms, Hwasa first time with another woman

⚠ MINORS DNI

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there are any mistakes. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

a/n: thx so much anon for the request and sorry it took me forever to write. I was inspired by one of my favorite songs from last year so I hope you enjoy it <3

It was painful. It truly was. Everytime you were around each other and you could do nothing but look at her. Admire her. To feel that painful sting of jealousy that you were so used to by now. Every Time her velvety and soothing voice spoke the words that you didn’t want to hear.

Pathetic. That was the word that could better describe you and Hwasa's relationship with each other. Not because the relationship itself was pathetic but because you were clearly head over heels for each other. Everyone knew that. Everyone saw. But you. You had your questions once in a while but soon were put in the back of the last drawer of your brain and forgotten. Because how could she like you back? How would a woman like Hyejin like someone like you? She was truly a Greek goddess walking among the mere fool mortals.

Not only that, she never gave any reason for you to think she liked you. Or women to be honest. She always told you and her other friends the difficulties of finding herself a decent boyfriend, a decent man. She always complained about the dates she’d go with these insufferable men in hopes to find something. “Not love, because that’s too deep for some of them” is what she would say.

And that was exactly what she was talking about. Her last date with this apparently nice looking guy who was a vet doctor and seemed to treat her nicely. Just the thought of Hyejin enjoying a date that was not with you made you anxious. Made you bite the inside of your cheek so much that you could feel the metallic taste in the tip of your tongue.

While she gushed about how he was such a gentleman, her eyes twinkling with a new found crush, you left the room to go to the kitchen to grab more alcohol. You needed to intoxicate your brain and forget about those stupid one sided feelings. Even more so now that she seemed to be interested in this guy.

A deep breath left your mouth, a stupid trial to exhale all the pent up frustration and jealousy.

“How long will you be holding a grudge against your feelings?” The voice scared you but you knew it was Yongsun, the only one you thought it knew about your silly crush.

You had no answer. As always. She was always right when it came to yours and Hwasa’s feelings but you’d never admit that to her. So you just shrugged.

“Yn… you’ll lose her if you keep hiding behind this facade of a good friend”

“First of all, it’s not a facade, I am a good friend that just happens to have feelings for her. And second, I can’t lose something I never had” your voice lowered towards the end of the sentence. You never had her. And never will. It was chosen already. “I have to forget her, Sun, I do. Before it’s too late” the can in your hand was finally opened and you took a big gulp of the bitter drink.

“And how do you plan to do that?” Your friend asked, taking the beer from your hand and drinking it too.

“I think…” you sighed, the weight of the decision, heavy on your shoulders, “I’ll take some time apart from her. It’ll be better for me if I don’t see her, especially now that she’s going out with this Seongyong dude”

“Yn…”

“I know it’s not the best and mature idea, I am aware. It’s just… it’s the best for me. If I don’t see her then I won’t feel things” the older one sighed, she knew she had no true power over your decision, you’ve made up your mind.

“Ok, I don’t agree but I respect your decision” she took a few steps to leave the kitchen but turned around “just don’t after me when this didn’t work because I’ll be the bitch to say I’ve told you” and with that she left the kitchen.

After the party you started avoiding Hyejin and the rest of your friends, finding excuses to never go to the parties and gatherings. You even missed Hyejin’s birthday party, something that hasn't happened for the past at least 5 years. But it was for the best. You saw the pictures of the party and your heart shrunk and broke into tiny pieces when you saw her having fun with her now boyfriend.

Did staying away from her helped? Not at all. You kept stalking her social media. Entering her account everyday to see what she had posted. Watching her stories on Instagram. You were just torturing yourself at that point. But that was another thing you’d never admit to yourself.

It was a warm summer night, the city seemed even more alive than ever. And you could hear the movement from your apartment. It made you feel sad that you were alone at your apartment again.

You were about to prepare to go to bed and watch some movie before sleeping when the doorbell rang.

She was the last person you expected to see behind that door when you opened.

“H-Hyejin? What… Are you okay?” You asked when you saw how drunk she looked. Her cheeks red, eyes semi closed, mouth slightly opened and her heels on her hands.

“No, I’m not” she answered, words wobbly with alcohol as she entered your house without even asking. Not that she needed to anyways.

You could smell the alcohol starting to evaporate from her sweat, the scent being borderline nauseating.

“How much have you drunk?” You asked, going after her. She threw herself on your couch.

“Why do you care?” The words were thrown at you like knives. And you deserved it.

“I always care”

“If you really cared you wouldn’t disappear from my life” she lifted her body, trembling a bit but managing to stand on her feet. “If you really cared you’d go to my birthday party, you’d cherish me and our friends, you wouldn’t just lie to us” she kept hitting your chest with the point of her index finger. She only did that when she was drunk and wanted to make a point.

You sighed and closed your eyes. You couldn’t deny any of those words. She was right. Absolutely right.

“I do care and that’s exactly why I stopped seeing you. Because I care too much” she crossed her arms like she was a mad little kid. “I cared too much to see you all being happy while I was in misery watching you”

“That’s bullshit! Since when are you in misery?” Her voice started to get louder. The alcohol getting the best of her usually controlled demeanor. “Your life is great, you have you dream job, you have your own apartment, you have friends, since when t-“

“I don’t have you”

“If course you have me, I’m your friend”

“I hate that word! I don’t want to be your friend, Hyejin, I want more!” You screamed, tears pricking your eyes. That’s not how you wanted to say these things. God! You didn’t even want to say these things. “Fuck! I… did you know how fucking painful was to hear you gush about your boyfriend with the girls when I was there? Listening and just wishing to be him. To be the one you gushed about? Did you know how painful it was to me to be in love with one of my best friends for years and have to see you suffer from all the jerks and I couldn’t do anything because I was just your friend? How mind and soul eating was the thought that I could be the predatory queer friend if I ever approached you because you don’t like girls and I never wanted to step over your boundaries?” Hyejin was in shock. That was the best word to describe the way she was.

Her arms were limp beside her body, eyes watching you with no expression besides surprise, no words leaving her mouth. You would be surprised if she wasn’t breathing as well.

You waited for an answer but she just closed her eyes and fell on the couch again, sleeping. You sighed. She was too drunk to even keep herself awake. She wasn’t even going to remember this conversation by the next day. Which you assumed was the best for the both of you.

You grabbed her bridal style and took her to your bed, putting her to sleep there while you slept on the couch. If it happened from her to remember anything you said, you didn’t want her to be uncomfortable by your side on the bed.

Laying on the couch, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath while trying to soothe your aching heart and racing mind.

You didn’t even know how or when you fell asleep. But you woke up with Hyejin’s velvety voice calling you. At the beginning you thought it was a dream but when you opened your eyes you saw her squatting by your side, hand on your shoulder and a shy smile on her face. She managed to look the prettiest she ever looked to you.

“Sorry to wake you up”

“It’s everything okay?” You asked while sitting on the couch to talk to her.

“We need to talk” you nodded and she sat by your side. You waited for her to say something. Hyejin took a deep breath in and turned to look at you. “I’m sorry” it took you a while to respond, not really knowing what to say.

“It’s alright, it’s not like I haven’t dealt with you drunk before” you gave a little chuckle but she shook her head.

“It’s… it’s not about that. I’m sorry that I made you suffer” she looked at the ground, picking the little loose skins on the fingers.

“It’s not your fault, Jinnie, I didn’t say anything either. It’s not like you should know” you grabbed her chin to make her look at you. “Besides, I never wanted to ruin our friendship, you are too important for me”

“What if I want you to ruin it?” You watched her, a little bit shocked by her statement.

“What?”

“What what?”

“What do you mean? I’m… I am a little lost here” Hyejin gave her little giggle that you loved so much and moved a few centimeters closer to you.

To say your heart became a thousand marching bands in your chest was being very nice because your heart was about to come out of your throat and jump into her own.

Her hands grabbed yours and brought them to her chest, right in the middle, feeling her thumping heart.

“I never told you anything either because it took me a while to realize that what I felt for you was more than friendship. Sorry I had to make you feel like that to make me pay attention to my own feelings” you nodded. “I thought that was because I enjoyed your friendship, your attention on me. I guess I always knew you liked me… I just… never accepted myself”

“I know how it feels” you said and smiled. You took your hand out of her chest and held her face, feeling her give in to the touch and slightly lean her face into your hands. “Please tell me this is not a dream” you whispered, more to yourself than anything else but she heard.

Hwasa smiled and closed the distance between your faces and kissed your lips. It was simple, just a longer peck but it was enough to make the sleeping butterflies in your stomach wake up.

“Does that answer your question?” The woman smirked, almost as she was playing with you. Which wasn’t a lie.

“Not yet, I think I need more evidence” you entered her little game and this time was your turn to kiss her.

Opposite of her, you didn’t go for the peck. No. You went for the kiss. The real one. Both of your hands held her face in place as you leaned forward to touch her lips with yours, your body slightly towering her, making her feel the warmth coming from you. She felt safe, welcomed, and, more than anything, she felt… excited.

You’ve been dreaming about this kiss for the past years of your life, you had to take your chance if she ever felt like giving up. But Hyejin was far too gone to give up, your lips felt like heaven to her. The way you knew exactly how to kiss her, how she liked, how she deserved. She could feel all your love and feelings boiling in that little touch of lips.

It didn’t take long for you to feel confident enough to open your mouth more and invade her mouth with your tongue. Which she gladly welcomed, a sigh mixed with a low moan leaving her mouth as you did. One of your hands went to her waist, grabbing the skin between your fingers, making sure she was not going to run away, while the other held the back of her neck, pulling her head closer towards your own. Her hands, that were holding your arms, put themselves on top of your thighs, caressing them on top of your sweatpants.

Everything was getting more intense, getting more heated. Both of you could feel it. And all you hoped was that she wasn’t going to stop you because the heat in between your legs was getting annoying.

Your body started to move on top of her, leaning down and taking hers to lay down on the sofa with you. The kiss never breaking, only intensifying from the pent up need from both of you.

“Yn…” Hyejin moaned your name in the middle of the kiss and you could die happily right then and there. The way your name sounded painful coming from her mouth as if the air she needed to say was being pulled from her lungs. “Please” her voice, usually strong, velvety and deep, was whiny, above a whisper. You lowered your kisses from her mouth to her neck, kissing, sucking and biting the soft skin there. “More, please… I… more” you smiled on her skin, enjoying the effect you had on her. The wait was worth it.

“What is it, Princess? I need you to be more specific to me” you kept your assault on her neck and you could see by your rear view that her legs rubbed together.

“I need more, yn… I… I don’t know… I-I just need something. Touch me please” in a blow of confidence she grabbed one of your hands and put it between her legs and you feel the fabric of her panties under her skirt already starting to get damp.

“Fuck” you whispered feeling the wetness as you slid your fingers up and she left a low moan. “You’re going to be the death of me”

“Just please fuck me before you die” she said without thinking much of her words, making you chuckle and her to blush.

You left your position on top of her, earning a whine, before grabbing her bridal style to take her back to your bed.

“Honey, if I’m going to fuck I’m fucking you right” you said before laying her back on the bed.

You pulled her skirt and underwear down, lower half naked. Hyejin, the woman of your dreams was half naked on your bed, pussy dripping wet waiting for you to fuck her like she deserved. Without losing any more time, you snaked in between her legs, putting them on top of your shoulders as you got face to face with her glistening pussy.

You looked at her face one more time to ask for her consent but you didn’t even have to do it because she was nodding eagerly before grabbing you by your hair and pulling you to shove your head on her pussy.

Her smell was divine, her wetness welcoming your mouth like her own welcomed before during the kiss. Your tongue licked a long fat stripe from her hole to her clit, earning the most obscene moan you’ve even imagined coming from her, which made you even more eager. She tasted as sweet as you imagined in your most perverted dreams. She tasted, smelled perfection. She was perfection.

Your licks and sucks were being distributed equally on her clit to her hole. You used the tip of your tongue to write your and her name on her clit, her legs trying to close on your head as she kept rubbing her pussy on your face, not being able to keep quiet. It was too much. She never felt anything like that. Was it because it was you? Was it because you were good? Or was it because nobody ever ate her like she deserved? Maybe all the answers were right. All she knew was that you were devouring her like you were starving and she was enjoying every single second of it.

You were slowly edging her, playing with her clit until the knot in her stomach started to tighten until you left the nub to go tongue-fuck her hole, your skilled muscle entering her as deep as it could, the sour taste of her wetness being welcomed on your tongue as you felt like tou were using drugs. You were completely high by her, by her taste, her smell, her body. Everything. You were becoming addicted to the vice grip she held your hair, burning your scalp, but you couldn’t care less.

You kept going with your mouth from clit to vagina until she was coming on your tongue, a trembling mess on your shoulders, sweet moans of your name leaving her lips as you kept licking and sucking her clit until she rode her orgasm. When she was getting back to her senses and thinking it was over, you pushed your middle finger inside her. Her tight warm wall welcoming your digit.

“Yn… fuck… please… I’m so sensitive” she whined, trying to close her legs again but stopped her.

“Oh, baby, I know. But we just started” she widened her eyes looking at you. “I know these men never fucked you right, but I’m here to make up for you, ok? Just don’t think too much. Relax and let me take care of you” she nodded, biting her lower lip in anticipation.

You left your position in between her legs and took your finger from inside of her just to take the rest of her clothes off so she was fully naked. Beads of sweat adorning her soft and tan skin, eyes dark with pleasure, chest rising up and down with the action. She never looked so pretty. You wished you could take a picture of this moment to keep forever.

You kissed her lips again, making her taste herself in your tongue, which she gladly did. If it was anyone else she’d think it was gross, but it was you. And she learned rather quickly that you could do anything with and to her that she’d thank you.

While you were kissing she entered two fingers inside of her cunt, a moan getting trapped inside of your mouth as you swallowed it. Your hand started to move, slowly at first, making her feel used to the intrusion but soon she was asking for more. Begging. You went faster, wrist snapping fast and hard, fingers curling and opening inside of her hole, finding the soft spongy spot inside, making her eyes roll back and back arch up. She was getting closer again and you could tell. Walls hugging your digits.

Your other hand went to her mouth, prodding the tip of the index and middle fingers on her lips. Hyejin understood the movement and opened her mouth, taking both fingers in her mouth and sucking them, hands holding your forearm as she sucked your fingers like her life depended on it.

“Such a good girl, you like having something on your mouth, don’t you?” She nodded, moaning around your fingers and her walls squeezed your other ones. You smirked at that but decided that you probably would have other opportunities to mess with her. “Can you cum for me again, baby?” She nodded eagerly. “Then come again. Wet my fingers like you did with my face” she moaned against your fingers again and you increased the speed of your fingers on her pussy.

It didn’t take much for her to come undone again on your fingers, juices leaving her pussy as she almost screamed around the fingers on her mouth. Her legs trembled even more this time and you could see she was getting too sensitive. But you needed to release as well. You knew this was her first experience with another woman so you decided not to overwhelm her and make her go down on you. Besides, you hoped you’d have chances to teach her how to do it.

You help her ride her orgasm before leaving the bed to stand up and take your own clothes off. Something inside of you suddenly got shy to be naked in front of her but as soon as you saw the way she drank your naked form, you left all the shyness behind and got on top of her again.

You kissed her lips again, her hands going to squeeze the soft skin of your ass as she kissed you more eagerly than before. It was wet and messy, all tongue and teeth. You noticed how she started to rub her core on the thigh it was inside her legs, searching for friction.

“Two orgasms and you’re still rutting against my thigh?” She got shy and blushed, eyes looking at you like a puppy. “Tell me, baby. What do you need? You want to cum again?” She nodded and squeezed your ass again, making you giggle at her attitude. “It’s your lucky day because I can make you cum as many times as you want” you lowered yourself to whisper on her ear “that’s the perks of dating women, we can last longer than any men could ever imagine and make you cum until you ask for me to stop” Hyejin left a little moan leave her lips as she imagined fucking you until she couldn’t walk.

You grabbed her body, laying her even more on the bed and opened her legs. You put yourself in between her legs, making your pussies touch each other. She moaned with just the feeling of your hot wet pussy in contact with hers, head thrown back. You chuckled and started to move, genitals rubbing together. The friction making you moan as well. You were not such a big fan of scissoring but somehow it felt so good with her. The way your juices were mixing with each other made the movements comfortable and enjoyable. Once in a while your clits would touch each other, earning loud moans from both of you.

Hyejin started to move herself, making your pussies touch even more and rub each other like a vice. Her long nails squeezing the skin of your thighs making you moan in a delicious pain mixed with pleasure. And it didn’t took long for her to cum again, clit rubbing against you even faster to ride the high. You came soon after her, your juices mixed dripping down your skin.

You left your place on the bed to grab a wet cloth so you could clean her sweaty and sticky body, taking special care with her sensitive area. After cleaning her you went to clean yourself and grab a cup of water for her.

Hwasa drank the water in a swig making you chuckle at her thirstiness.

“What are you laughing at? That’s all your fault?” She sassed at you. You feigned offense, putting your hand on your chest and opening your mouth

theatrically.

“My fault? You were the one who asked for it, remember?” She blushed and turned her back to you. You giggled at her. “But today was just a taste of what you can get”

“A taste? Can you go beyond?” She glared at you, eyes widened with the thought of you being able to go for even longer.

“Oh honey, you have no idea what I can do” you smirked at her, grabbing her chin between your fingers and softly kissing her lips. “But I can go slow with you, there are a lot of things for me to show and teach you” she smiled and nodded, giving you another kiss.

“And I can’t wait for you to teach me” she cuddled your waist and you couldn’t take the stupid smile out of your face.

She was going to be yours from then on.

Masterlist | Requests and feedback

[alcoholfreenayeon]

oot saw that your request are open again and my birthday is next month on the 12th so can I please have a bday themed fic for male reader x hwasa smut where he’s a famous actor and they’ve been together for years and so for his bday they go out with some friends and eat somewhere then they go home and have sex then the next morning he wakes up and cooks breakfast and she tells him she’s pregnant thank you

Starry Night

CW: Hwasa x m!reader, fluff, smut, nsfw, creampie, pregnant

A/N: Happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day!

“Come on, we’ll be late!”, Hwasa complained as she pulled on your arm while you casually scrolled through your phone.

“Just a second!”, you protest, slowly getting up but your focus still on the phone. You then shut it and look at her, “happy now?”, you ask poking her cheek.

She slaps your arm, “No, I’ll be happy when you get ready.”

“I am ready.”, you argue.

She looks at you, “really?. You wore this your last birthday too!”.

“No that was the year before.”, you try to counter.

Hwasa sighs, “No, it was last year and even if it was the year before, you should change! Wear something nice. Nicer.”, she adds with narrowed eyes before you could argue your outfit is nice.

You dramatically roll your eyes and give in. 2 minutes later, you are in a new outfit and Hwasa beams happily.

“See, this is so much better!”, she coos as she traces a finger on your chest.

“Not in a hurry now? Just say you hated what I wore.”, you tease.

Her cheeks flush a little and she slaps your chest playfully. “Shut up. And let’s go, we’ll actually be late.”, she says quietly with a smile. You stand firmly, smirking at her and she sighs, rolling her eyes playfully before tiptoeing and giving you a quick kiss. You then grab her hand and lead the way out, teasing and kissing her.

The dinner had gone smoothly, it had some of the closest friends and family of you and Hwasa and was overall a good night. There was some teasing by the other Mamamoo members that even though you and Hwasa had been together for 6 years now and married for 1, there was still no sign of children. You laughed that out but Hwasa was quite shy about it which surprised you a little. Nevertheless, you enjoyed the day but it seemed like you were going to enjoy the night even more as Hwasa was sat on your lap, both of you half dressed, lovingly making out.

You squeezed her hips softly, your cock throbbing excitedly below her. She moans softly into the kiss before pulling away, holding your face gently as she bites her lips, her eyes making it obvious what she wants.

You keep quiet though, tracing your finger from her cheek to her lips and she bites it softly, a mischievous look on her face before she gently sucks your finger. You nearly lose control there, taking a sharp breath, clenching your jaw, knowing she knows the effect this has on you.

“Are you just going to stare at me”, she asks innocently.

You lean in and kiss her hard before pushing her onto her back, taking off the rest of both of your clothes. She giggles at your eagerness, more than ready to be taken by you, spreading her legs invitingly. You line yourself up and begin to push in, sighing as you feel the warmth and tightness while she gasps at your entry, wrapping her legs around you tightly.

Slowly, you push yourself all the way in and begin to thrust steadily, your hands entangled with hers. Hwasa leans upwards to kiss you and you kiss her back, continuing to thrust rhythmically.

“I love you”, she blurts out of nowhere, breaking the kiss, her fingers gripping your hands tightly.

You slow down for a second, her suddenness throwing you off but resume almost immediately, smiling at her lovingly before kissing her deeply, “I love you too. So much.”

She smiles coyly upon hearing that and her squeezes her legs around you causing you to thrust harder. Soon enough she gasps as she starts to get closer to her release.

You squeeze her hands gently as you feel your own release approaching and thrust faster. Hwasa begins to pant, moaning out your name and thrashing below you as her orgasm overtakes her swiftly, cumming hard, her pussy clamps onto your cock, squeezing it greedily, trying to milk it. This pushes you over the edge as well and you groan and cum too. You shoot your load deep inside her, filling her up completely.

As you both pant in each other’s arms, giving each other short kisses, you feel your cum slowly begin to leak out of her. The two of you, rest in each other’s embrace for a few minutes before reluctantly getting up to clean the mess and take a quick shower before eventually fall asleep, holding each other tightly.

The next morning, you wake up early, giving Hwasa’s forehead and shoulder a peck, you carefully get out of bed to prepare breakfast.

You are frying the eggs when you suddenly feel Hwasa’s hug you from behind. “Listen…I have something to tell you love…”

“What is it?”, you ask while flipping the eggs.

She hugs you tighter and takes a deep breath, “I’m pregnant….”

You leave the pan and turn to look at her immediately, a surprised expression on your face. “W-what…”

Hwasa looks up at you, feeling slightly nervous now.

“Are you sure? When did you find out?”, you ask, unable to keep the silence, a small smile creeping up on your face.

She sighs in relief upon seeing your small, “a couple days ago….”

You look at her in disbelief again. “And you are telling me now????”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d react…”, she says somewhat guiltily, her face flushing.

You poke her cheek, “Really babe…”

“Look I was just….it was a lot to take in for me too!”, she defends.

You chuckle before realizing the eggs are burning, hurrying to check on them only to see they are burnt now.

Hwasa giggles, “I think you need to step up your game. If you can’t handle frying an egg how will you….”

“Shut up”, you say playfully rolling your eyes before turning and hugging her tightly.

You were still in a bit of a shock, it’s not like you both were trying for a baby but you both weren’t exactly not trying. Besides given your…activities it shouldn’t have really been a surprise at all. Nevertheless, you were excited for this next step in your and Hwasa’s life. The two of you looking forward to the next few months….

[panda-writes-kpop]

Eyes On Me

A/N: Guys, girls, and non-binary pearls, I apologize if my author's notes have seemed a little dry. I've been running on empty for a while, but luckily, I have fall break for school coming up. I've also reorganized the the WIP a small bit, so feel free to look at the upcoming fics for the spooky season and beyond. I hope you all are well, in all seriousness. (I've got two small requests to work on before the requests open back up, so look forward to that in the upcoming future.)

TW: Paparazzi

Summary: The media tries to ruin your night-out with Hwasa, but you won't let them ruin your relationship or your mood.

♡ Masterlist ♡ 

The bright, flashing lights of the cameras blind you as Hwasa takes your hand and leads you through the mob of reporters and photographers.

“Excuse me, let us through!” She calls through with a gentle warning, and you know that if the sea of people don’t part, Hwasa isn’t afraid to get a bit more forward with her response.

Luckily, the reporters and photographers move, but that doesn’t stop the questions from flying or pictures from being taken.

“Hwasa, when did you and them start dating?”

“How does it feel to be dating one of the most popular and famous idols in Korea?”

“Do you think you’re worthy of the admiration of Hwasa, or will she quickly be rid of you like-”

Hwasa cusses them out under her breath as she lets you get into the limousine first. You thank the stars that the windows are tinted out when Hwasa slams the door shut behind them.

Once the car pulls away from the sidewalk, Hwasa shoots you an apologetic look.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry about this. I didn’t think they would follow us to the restaurant, and then wait for us to come out.”

You sigh before shaking your head and looking her in the eye.

“It’s not your fault, Hwasa, it’s just like they said: you’re one of the most popular idols out there.”

Her eyes widen as she reaches over and grabs your hand.

“You don’t really believe everything they say, right?”

“No, I do not.”

She sighs in relief, but does not let go of your hand.

“You’re one of the most important people to me, and I don’t want to see you hurt because of something that’s supposed to be about me. Let me know if they make you uncomfortable, and I’ll make them back off, alright?”

You gently squeeze her hand.

“Most of them are just innocent people trying to do their jobs, so don’t be too hard on them, alright?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

[mykoreanlove]

spill*the*tea.FM

Famous idol y/n is guest in Got7 Youngjae‘s new radio show which is about spilling idol‘s tea. Sounds like a good idea, right?

💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

„Guys, girls, everyone, welcome to today‘s episode of spill*the*tea. I’m so excited for this episode, you can’t even imagine. I’ve been trying to get in touch with y/n for years, YEARS, and now she’s finally here. Please give it up for the beautiful y/n!“

You broke out in laughter while covering your face shyly. He noticed right away and called you out for it.

„What? Are you getting shy? This is not the place to be coy, y/n.“

„I just didn’t expect this lovely introduction. Thank you, Youngjae.“

He smiled warmly and sorted out his flashcards - the ones with the curated questions.

Even though you had been in this business for a while, you still couldn’t get used to all the manufacturing. Every question was ran by your management, they practically shoved the answers down your throat.

You desperately wanted people to know the real you - the raw and unfiltered y/n - but one false answer could kill your whole career. The masses were merciless on people like you, so you had to endure and play along.

Youngjae played his part brilliantly, no one would have assumed he knew every question and answer by heart. You chatted about your childhood and how hard it was to get a foot into the business. He asked you about your biggest success and most tragic failure. He asked you questions tailored to your image - glamorous yet still approachable.

And you were all those things, but you were also so much more.

Your fingertips itched, ready to spill out the forbidden secrets the public was dying to know.

You could have talked about the dark things - like only eating cotton pads soaked in tomato juice because managers considered you too fat.

You could have told them you didn’t had a period in years or that you wore wigs because your hair started to fall out.

You could have talked about even darker things - like sexual abuse that was common if you wanted to make it.

You could have told them about ruthless directors that urged you to strip naked at auditions or disgusting producers that groped your ass because they felt like it.

You could have talked about the darkest things known to mankind - like loneliness that eats you up from the inside.

You could have told them about the different coping mechanisms you all used: sex, alcohol or drugs or you could have told them about all the sleepless nights in which you contemplated ending it all.

You shook your body as goosebumps started to form - not wanting to remember more of those things. Your life in this industry wasn’t all bad either.

You could have talked about fun things as well - like spending money on whatever you liked.

You could have told them about the countless shopping sprees or immense pride you felt when you bought your family a new house.

You could have talked about even funnier things - like receiving so much love.

You could have told them about fans that wrote you love letters and gave you gifts or encounters that changed you for the better because you touched someone else’s life, giving them the will to live.

You could have talked about the most fun things in this industry - like dating the most gorgeous men in secret.

You could have told them about about romantic dates in jets while eating strawberries and drinking champagne or sneaking around fashion shows and blowing Korea‘s hottest bachelor in a closet stall.

You giggled at those memories.

„Let’s answer some fan questions“, Youngjae cheered.

His request brought you back to reality. This wasn’t in the script.

„Fan questions?“, you forced a smile.

„Yeah, that’s a new segment. The show is called spill*the*tea after all.“

You gulped anxiously.

„Here we have our first caller. Hey, welcome. What’s your question?“

„Hi Youngjae, hi y/n. I wanted to know how it was like to film your latest drama. What was it like to kiss Eun Woo?“

You sighed in relief. This is easy.

„Filming my latest drama was a blast. Eun Woo made it so easy for me. Great kisser by the way.“

Memories of him kissing you in every position afterwards flooded your mind. „Oh you guys, she is blushing. Did you think of him kissing your lips on set right now?“, Youngjae chimed in.

Oh, you were thinking of him kissing your lips but not the ones Youngjae was referring to.

„Actually, he was the greatest kisser I ever had.“

The fan on the line gasped. You were taking this secret spilling thing easy - for now.

„Another caller, let’s go!“

„Hi, I wanted to know about your feud with Jessi. What happened?“

„Oooooh“, Youngjae was loving this.

You had to think about it, the so called feud with Jessi was a long time ago.

„Well, you know how we girls can get. We were overworked, probably on our periods as well. We drank a bit too much champagne and said some things to blow off steam.“

„Like what?“

You cringed internally, recalling all the nasty things you had said to each other.

You‘re a talentless bitch!

Oh please, you couldn’t even recognize talent if it would have been injected into your plastic-filled body!

You bitch! Take that back!

Like PSY took back your record deal?

At least I was selling records! The only time you’ve been relevant in music was when Yoongi recorded your moans into his tracks!

At least I fucked him properly, Jessica!

No wonder since that’s how you got your career!

You were tempted to spill but tried to hold back.

„Like, stupid stuff that girls say. Attacking each other over looks and boys. Honestly, I can’t even remember - that’s how irrelevant it was.“

In all honesty you couldn’t remember because you blacked out from all the booze but your fans didn’t need to know. Right?

„So, are you still on bad terms?“

Oh yeah, you hated that bitch. But since your managers were close you had to promote her, suffering the consequences of your job.

„No, not at all. We talked it out and now we’re fine. We’ve been chatting about doing her gum challenge together, so keep an eye out for that.“

Your face didn’t even flinch, you were so good at lying.

“Okay, let’s see what the last caller wants to know.”

„Hey last caller“, you greeted charmingly.

„Hey y/n! Oh my god I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you!! I wanted to know if you’re single?“

„Well, that caller is wasting no time“, Youngjae side-eyed.

You laughed, waving it off like you always did.

„No, I am not dating anyone right now.“

„Not even in secret?“, the caller wanted to know.

„Why, are you offering?“

Your question caught the caller of guard.

„I mean I’m a girl. Wait, do you date girls?“

Youngjae‘s eyes widened in surprise, not leaving yours for even a second.

There had been rumors of you dating your band mates but you never thought about that. They were like sisters to you, asexual and off the radar. There was this one girl though…

„I’ve never dated girls before.“

„But would you like to try?“

The caller was persistent, pestering you with intimate questions.

„I mean“, you shrugged your shoulders, not really thinking about answering correctly.

„If I had to choose to date a girl, a woman I mean… I’d definitely date Hwasa.“

Youngjae nodded his head, agreeing wholeheartedly.

„Great choice.“

„Right? I feel like she and I would just match. Two baddies getting it on.“

You stuck out your tongue, adding to the playfulness of the question.

„But you know, up until now I only dated guys. If I had time to.“

„Who did you date?“

„Can’t tell“, you shook your head.

„Oh come on, spill some tea eonni. Who was the most fun one to date?“

Jackson.

„Nope.“

„Who was the one that stole your heart so effortlessly?“

Namjoon.

„Nope.“

„Who was the biggest sex freak?“

Taemin.

„Listen, I can’t spill names.“

„How about“, Youngjae spoke up, „how about we find the middle? Tell us about a kinky guy you once dated.“

You looked at him puzzled - Youngjae knew damn well that you couldn’t say that stuff. He slid a piece of paper over to you, urging you to read it.

Numbers are going through the roof. Trending on social already. Let’s milk this shit.

Milk this shit, huh?

„Alright“, you nodded.

Youngjae‘s eyes sparkled, already celebrating the success of his show.

„I once dated a guy - briefly - who was very peculiar in that area. He was, uhm, a mixture of sugar and spice if you will.“

„What’s that supposed to mean?“, the caller asked.

„Well, he was super sweet on the outside. Beautiful, cute, charming - he was like sunshine, always making you feel good and appreciated. But behind closed doors he was different.. he had very distinct ways of being loved.“

„Okay, that’s the cue - distinct is a secret word for super kinky?“, Youngjae almost jumped off his chair from excitement.

„Oh god, you’re really making me say it huh?“

„YES“, they both shouted simultaneously.

„Okay, picture this. We are in bed doing things and everything is going great. He’s super attentive to my needs and makes sure I come and everything but then when I wanted to return the favor he abruptly stopped and left the room.“

„Why?“

„Turns out he went into the other room where there is a big ceiling with wooden beams and a rope…“

„Oh my god, I love where this is going“, Youngjae laughed.

„A rope?“

„So, I followed him and saw him almost strangling himself while jerking off. I swear to god his head was blue but he moaned in so much pleasure - he was having the orgasm of his life.“

„What happened then?“

Images of you freaking out flooded your mind - back then you were nowhere as chill as you now made it out to be.

„Once he came his hands grabbed the rope and I ran over to him and helped him get down. Next thing you know he’s laying in my lap - big, red marks on his throat but he was smiling happily.“

You had never seen someone so blissful after sex, let alone after experiencing an almost death.

Youngjae gasped.

„So, you’re telling me that guy only comes when he strangles himself? Like legit strangling?“

You nodded.

„Wow, that’s, wow!“

„So, who was it?“ the caller wanted to know.

You were reluctant to tell, you already spilled so much information.

Youngjae was hoping to get it out of you but luckily the fates did that for you. Before you could say anything both of you took a glance at Youngjae‘s phone which was laying between the both of you.

„Hold on, my boyfriend is calling“, he mouthed silently.

„YOUR BOYFRIEND?“

Youngjae mustered you, eyes wide open and mouth agape from shock. It took him a moment to make sense of this situation but he lost his shit as he finally put one and one together.

The man on the line, the one whom he was dating, was no other than the one you just talked about.

The caller ID?

Lee Felix.

[multiphandomunnies]

mamamoo

reactions

how mamamoo would wake you up

first time with mamamoo (*M*)

gf has a stutter

(*T*) gf is autistic

gf has ocd

(*T*) gf has an autistic meltdown

gf kisses them first

s.o shy and nervous about first kiss

being in a long distance relationship

gf is getting sick

s.o is drunk

gf is a terrible cook

gf is a poet

how mamamoo acts while drunk

they’re your best friends but act flirty towards you

imagines

solar

i need you

moonbyul

girlfriend

grab a book

bad girl (*M*)

you work too hard

new

i love you madly,deeply, truly

you’re the cutest

wheein

gf! wheein

hwasa

[prettygirl-gabi]

It's Always Been You

"I may not deserve you but after that I’m not going down without a fight, because it's always been you"

♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧

Summary: You had liked Seonghwa since the day you met but you never entertained the idea of being with him because you figured a popular guy like him would never date a girl your size. Coming to terms with this didn’t mean you’d stop defending him in a world full of ungrateful girls. So you reach your breaking point when you’re sick and tired of watching girls miss out on something that would be so good for them. Thing was, Seonghwa heard everything you had to say. He planed to prove you wrong.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Paring: !non idol Seonghwa and Femreader (plus-size!)

Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Category:

F/M

Fandom:

ATEEZ (Band)

Relationships:

Park Seonghwa & ReaderAhn Hyejin | Hwasa/Park Seonghwa

Characters:

Ahn Hyejin | HwasaReaderPark Seonghwa

TW:

Fat Shaming, Body Image, Swearing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff (if you squint)

Language: English

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

I wrote this while being sick and thinking about a previous relationship I was in. We are all beautiful in our own ways. It might take a while to notice but it is true.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

“Looking good today HwaSa” you could practically see the smirk on Seonghwa’s face from the sound of his voice. Looking up you saw his eyes trained on the black haired girl beside you, who had yet to put returns you had finished rewinding back on the shelf, her nail file much to important.

Ahn Hye Jin or HwaSa as we called her, was everything you were not. Slim but thick, tall but not to tall, she was perfect. Seonghwa loved her for all of those things including her tiny waist. It had givenher that perfect hourglass look. You on the other hand hated her for all of those things. She wore dresses with lace flower patterns and you still wore the same tattered converse, ripped and worn in all the best ways. Your jeans and Motley Crue T-shirt didn’t and couldn't compare. You were just not the same.

“Thanks Seongie” you hated the nickname, especially how it brought a smile to the fluffy haired boy's face.

“I was wondering if you were free Friday night, I’m having a movie night with the kids and was wondering if you wanted to join?” you had lost count of all the attempts Seonghwa had made to ask the girl out. There had to of been a billion by now.

“Sorry Seongie that sounds pathetic spending Friday night with underage kids” she sneered, meanness dripping from her tone. Seonghwa's smile faltered only slightly and despite how much you hated him for still trying he was still your friend.

“Then what’s your ideal date HwaSa?” your tone was sharp, accusatory, and just plain angry that she couldn’t see how great a guy he was. Not that she deserved him anyway.

“A fancy dinner, wine, making out in a movie theater, third base in the back of a BMW. Nothing to do with babysitting” she responded promptly. Seonghwa hummed with satisfaction, a dopey grin on his face. The sentence immediately making him forget how rude she was in the first place. His mind now only in the backseat of a BMW.

“Classy” you quipped, and she offered a forced smile but knew you were judging her. Yet a girl like you didn’t really get under her skin. How could you when you guys weren’t even in the same league of girls.

“We could do something else, maybe a movie?” you didn’t hide the roll of your eyes as Seonghwa tried again.

“Maybe another time Seongie, I’m busy this weekend” a lie and you knew it, and maybe he did too. Finally picking up the stack of tapes you rewinded she moved off to place them on shelves.

“Get real Hwa ” you snipped, the moment she was out of ear shot.

“What’s your deal?” he asked and you shook your head, amused he couldn’t see how shitty she was.

“My deal is that Ahn Hye Jin sucks, you’ve got so much more going for you” you said pushing a new tape into the machine and hitting rewind. Hwa moved behind the counter, taking Ahn Hye Jin ’s previous spot.

“She doesn’t suck, she’s cool and hot. Hard to get but I don’t give up” he smirked as he crossed his arms and you groaned, annoyed that he was so blinded by her fake appearance. She was nothing more than a girl who peaked in high school and Seonghwa qwas so much more.

“She’s not cool nor is she hot. Don’t you ever think? If she actually had anything going for her she wouldn’t still be stuck here working in a video store” your anger caused the words to rattle out and Seonghwa's face dropped.

“Wonder what you think of me then?” you instantly realized your mistake and began shaking your head. You wished Yeosang or the rest of the boys wasn’t at school and was here to defend you.

“That’s not what I meant Seong-” but he was already shaking his head in offense and pushing himself off the counter.

“It’s exactly what you meant Y/N” he spoke harshly, hurt by his friend and the words you had spoke as he walked into the back room. Sighing you dropped your head on the counter, upset you pissed him off.

“What’s wrong? Did he deny you?” HwaSa chuckled as she returned to the counter now free of VHS tapes. HwaSa viewed life as a social ladder. She was on the top, Seonghwa was below her, which is why she never dated him, and you were all the way on the bottom. She was out of Seonghwa ’s reach but you were miles away.

“No HwaSa, thanks for having faith in me” sarcasm laced your tone as you lifted your head.

“How could I have faith in you, you’ve never had a date in your life” she chuckled, annoyed you gave her so much crap when she saw you as absolutely nothing. She didn’t even think Seonghwa should be talking to you.

“Shut up HwaSa ” you spoke, not wanting anymore shit, already angry enough.

“You want to know why you haven’t had a date Y/N?” HwaSa expression turned menacing as she moved towards you, mean girl genes firing through her bones. “Because you’re fat, short, and weird, and no guy is attracted to that”

“You know what?” normally HwaSa would get to you, break your heart and allow tears to pool in your eyes. But today was your breaking point. She could treat you as badly as she wanted but you were done with her treating Steve like that.

“What?” her amused expression didn’t falter as she waited for some lame comeback bound to fall from your mouth.

“You’re a bitch Ahn Hye Jin. Nothing more than a washed up high schoaol mean girl. You’re gonna spend the rest of your life in this God forsaken town, running though men like their a God damn marathon, until you end up stuck with some creepy old man who knocked you up, and you’ll never be anything more than that girl from high school absolutely everyone hated” HwaSa was shocked as you continued to raise your voice at her, and the use of her real name alerting Seonghwa from the back room.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” HwaSa began to shake her head but you were beyond angry now, laughing as you approached her. Seonghwa moved to the door, listening to everything you both said.

“Yes I do, because everyday you treat Seonghwa like shit when he thinks you’re the best thing on earth. Do you know how crazy that is? Hwa is the greatest guy I know. He cares for so many people when he doesn’t even have to, including me and the guys, he even drives Woo's younger brother to school everyday even if he doesn’t have to be up for work, because he’s such a great guy. He’s the kind of guy who would treat you right and every day for no fucking reason you tell him no” HwaSa opened her mouth to speak but you quickly held up a hand, not done with your spiel.

“Not to say you deserve a guy like that because you don’t, and twenty years from now, while your holding your child on the porch of your trailer home, you’re gonna be wishing you said yes to him. Every day I hope he’s gonna walk through those doors and ask me out instead because I know what he’s worth. He may be way out of both our leagues but at least I appreciate him. The only reason he still asks you is because you are the skinny, pretty girl, and that fucking stings. Yet I guess that’s how this cruel world works. So leave us both the fuck alone from now on” heavy breaths left your mouth as you finished, Hwa having heard the whole thing, shocked to hear such passion come from you.

“Okay, I’m sorry” HwaSa muttered, before rushing from behind the counter. “I’m gonna take off, my shift is up anyway”

“Bye” you snipped, and she wore a guilty expression as she quickly collected her things and fled the building. You dropped your head back on the counter, now worked up from the drama. Seonghwa finally walked out the back room, knowing that se was gone.

“You think I ask her out because she’s prettier than you?” your shoulders tensed at his voice, not realizing he heard the whole thing. “Because you’re way prettier than her”

“Don’t lie to me right now Hwa, guys don’t date big girls like me” you looked up as you shook your head at him. Seonghwa didn’t care the enthuse the idea.

“I never asked you out because I thought you were too good for me” you furrowed your eyebrows as he continued to talk anyway. Seonghwa had always thought you were pretty and on top of that you were also the best person he knew.

“I’m nothing special and you’re kinda the coolest person I know. I ask HwaSa out because she’s the kinda girl I’m gonna end up with, not because of her looks compared to yours. I’m just not good enough for you” you scoffed, not believing a word because you truly had never heard kind words like this before. It was also hard to believe he could feel like same way you had all this time, used to people avoiding you because of your size.

“I’m not looking for the you’re not fat, you’re beautiful speech. You weren’t supposed to hear what I said. So can we just drop it” you said turning away from him, uninterested in this lame attempt at making you feel better. You had accepted your fate a long time ago.

“You are beautiful Y/N. Fuck, why can’t you see that? I never asked you out because you were the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen and I didn’t want to ruin that” tears pooled in your eyes because if you let yourself believe him and it wasn’t true you weren’t sure you’d ever recover.

“You’re a great guy Hwa, you wouldn’t ruin anything. I would” Seonghwa’s heart warmed because he heard how you had defended him like that. Not even he thought he was so great and apparently you noticed him more than he thought you did.

“Thank you for defending me, and it made me realize that I do deserve someone who would defend me like that. So go out with me Y/N, and not just because of this whole thing, because I’ve wanted to date you since the day we met” you shook your head, the tears now falling down your face.

“Seonghwa if you hurt me, I just can’t. I wouldn’t be able to handle it” Seonghwa felt his heart break as he looked at you. Really looked at you and he felt terrible he had never made you realize how amazing you were in the first place. He was selfish staying away because you deserved to be shown you were just as beautiful as any girl he had dated.

“Let me prove you wrong” he said gripping your arms and you looked up at him, tear filled eyes, and he felt the wind get knocked out of him from the look in your eyes. The fact he never realized you loved him back before was shocking because he could see it written all over your face.

“Okay” you muttered and before you could even react he tugged your lips against his. Arms gripping you for dear life and your eyes were wide as you realized what he had done. He had kissed you and you had never even expected it. Then you realized how soft his lips were, how he tasted like chocolate and cherries, and his warm mouth soothed every ache in your heart. Your hands gripped his shirt as you settled into the kiss, relaxation taking over you, eyes fluttering shut as he moved to wrap his arms around you. If you had known yelling at Ahn Hye Jin or HwaSa as you've call her would make Park Seonghwa kiss you like this you would’ve done it a lot sooner. You weren’t even fully sure you were supporting yourself anymore, knees weak from the fire he has ignited in your stomach.

“Holy shit” Seonghwa panted as he pulled away, a dopey smile on his face, because he had never felt like that from kissing a girl before.

“I know” you panted right along side him and he let out a giddy chuckle, moving to pull you back into his arms.

“I may not deserve you but after that I’m not going down without a fight, because it's always been you”

[hrtkbu]

♀ 𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐎 | 𝑄𝑢𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑣𝑜𝑠 𝑑'𝑒𝑢𝑥 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡.

SITUATION Vous faisiez partie d'un tout nouveau groupe, malgré les quelques avis mitigés, le nom de votre groupe avait pris de plus en plus d'ampleur dans le monde de la K-Pop. Mamamoo, groupe débuté en 2014 ne voyait leur popularité augmentée que depuis l'a sorti de leur M/V : Starry Night. Vos deux groupes parlaient énormément l'un de l'autre lors de plusieurs émissions, les fans vous mettant la pression pour sortir une chanson en commun.

SOLAR

Membre la plus bruyante#1

Vous faisiez partie des membres les plus bruyantes de vos groupes, alors quand vous vous étiez rencontrées, tous avaient regretté votre fusion.

Entre farce et crie, vous ne preniez pas de repos.

Chanteuse principale du groupe, vous aviez sorti les meilleurs High Note de l'industrie coréenne (noté l'exagération), époustouflant l'ensemble des spectateurs présents.

MOONBYUL

MoonByul était un flirt ambulant, n'hésitant pas à vous taquiner encore et encore.

C'était le « GirlCrush » de toutes les idoles féminines.

Les fans avaient d'ailleurs commencé à vous mettre en « couple », les rumeurs comme quoi MoonByul serait lesbienne déjà présent depuis de nombreuses années.

Malgré les merveilleux talents en danse de MoonByul, vos managers avaient décidé de vous mettre en collaboration côté rap.

Comme Wheein, vous aviez fait une intro mais de rap.

WHEEIN

Membre la plus bruyante#2

Avec solar, vous étiez le trio de vos deux groupes, bruyant à souhait.

Vous étiez aussi de très bonnes danseuses, créant la chorégraphie de votre M/V.

Pour introduire votre performance, vous aviez fait une danse en duo, bien plus sexy que prévu.

HWASA

Vous étiez la plus mature du groupe, vous occupant d'écrire vos chansons, la majorité de ceux-ci faisant partie des plus populaires de votre groupe à l'heure actuelle.

Hwasa était une jeune femme très mature aussi, étant même perfectionniste sur les bords, alors bien évidemment que vous deux étiez devenu très proche dès votre rencontre, gardant contact après votre collaboration.

Vous étiez toutes deux, les « beautés occidentales » du groupe, n'ayant pas peur de montrer avec puissance toute la confiance qui coulait en vous.

masterlist

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

SKZ DRABBLE-OT8

The one where maybe a period doesn't actually have to be the end of the sentence. or The Twenty Eighth Installment of the SKZ!Pack Prequel Series.

Tags: Skz, Stray Kids, Stay, SKZ!pack, ABO, Omegaverse, Skz!Pack prequel, Pack!prequel, ot8, skz x you, skz x reader, femreader, ot8 x you, ot8 x reader, bang chan, lee minho, seo changbin, han jisung, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, lee felix, hwang hyunjin, y/n, skz imagines, skz reactions, skz scenarios, skz abo, skz fluff, skz angst, skz smut

Genre: Angst, LOTS of Fluff, Suggestive, Light Smut

Warnings: Blood, Periods, Periods, Periods. If you don't like talk of menses, this one probably isn't for you. Period Sex, Blood Play, Blood as Lube, Mentions of Abortion, Unhealthy views of menstrual cycles

Title: End of a Sentence

“You look like shit.”

You barely raise your head from where it rests on your forearms at Hwasa’s observation, hearing the rustle as she slides into the seat beside you at the back of the lecture hall. 

“Yeah, well-” You mutter out, turning your head slightly so you can narrow her in your field of vision, the movement making your headache pound behind one of your eyes. “-I feel like shit.” 

She leans on her elbows on the desk, lowering herself so she can scan her gaze over your face, her dark hair falling over the shoulder of the fluffy faux coat she currently wears. 

A wave of lavender washes over you at the movement.

“What’s going on with you? Pre-rut?” She asks in a lower voice, her dark eyes flicking between your own, full lips pulled into a hint of a worried line. 

You shake your head. “Worse.” She stares at you for a moment, and then you see something akin to regretful acknowledgement flash across her gaze.

She sighs. “Ah, shit.” 

You nod, keeping the movement jilted to stop from worsening your headache. “Yep.” She sits back in her chair, blowing out a breath, the perfect dark eyeliner-reminiscent of cat eyes-framing her lashes wrinkling a little as she narrows her gaze, pursing her lips in thought. 

“I mean, you’re in a pack now, does it help at all?” She finally queries, glancing back over to where you still lay slumped over the desk like some sort of victorian plague victim. 

You groan, pushing yourself up to a somewhat sitting position, and ignore the protests of your body as you do so, the pull of the sharp cramps tightening around your midsection, making your pubic bone ache. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t told them.” 

Hwasa’s gaze sharpens on your own, disapproval washing over her pretty features and leaking into her tone when she speaks. “What? But you guys have been together long enough to have this happen several times now, right?” 

You give a little shrug. “Well, yeah, but I don’t hang around them during that time of the month. I give excuses, and crawl into my bed and die for a week, and then when it’s over, I drag my ass back to life and no one is none the wiser.” 

Hwasa crosses her arms over her chest, sharp, pointed nails ticking across the arms of her coat as she stares at you. 

You feel your hackles rise under her gaze. “What?” 

She sighs, long and heavy, like you’re a disappointing child, and retorts, “You need to tell them. They could help you through it, like a rut. Trust me, it’ll be better for everyone.” 

“It’s gross and personal-” You protest right back, already feeling your cheeks heat at the thought of having to talk to the pack-made up entirely of males-and explain to them why you’re out of commission for a week out of the month. “-they’re not gonna understand.” 

She scoffs at that. “Please, you’re all adults, and if they’re not ready to deal with a little bit of period shit, then they have no right to be in your life in the first place.” 

“It’s easier said than done-” You whine, putting your forehead in your palms and staring at the chipped surface of the desk. Someone has drawn a crude pen rendition of what looks like a penis just below your notebook. 

“(Y/N).” Hwasa says your name sternly, and when you don’t look at her, she leans over and loops her fingers around your wrist, causing you to meet her gaze. She fixes you with a firm look. “They’re in college, I’m sure they’ve had the talk a long time ago and know about female anatomy, okay? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

You groan, but she stops you from tugging your gaze away from hers once more. 

“Honey.” She sighs, and her fingers loosen around your wrist a bit, her voice going softer, her expression growing sympathetic. “I know from our time together, and all our years of friendship since, that your ‘time of the month’ if we’re being delicate, is a lot worse than what’s considered normal. So please, just let them in. They might be able to help and it might save you some misery in the long run.” 

You make another little groaning sound, but the headache behind your eyes is pounding and the cramping is only getting worse, so in the end, you acquiesce, at least to just stop talking about it for the moment. 

“Okay.” You sigh and give her the hint of a tight smile. “I’ll talk to them.” 

*****

“They’re getting worse.” You told your mother, standing in front of the bathroom sink, hands braced on the cold tile, staring at your pale reflection in the mirror. 

She had put her hand on your mid back, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “It’s the change. Presenting always affects women differently and more dramatically than men.” 

“I don’t want it.” You had cried, already doubled over from the cramps, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

It was unfair, cruel even, and in that moment, you’d wanted to disappear, cease to exist, sink into the floor. 

“It’s not a choice.” Your mother whispered, pressing kisses to the top of your head. “Women were chosen to suffer, and it is simply something we must endure. In turn, when you are older, the ability to create life will be yours.” 

You’d thought that sounded awful in the moment, but didn’t say anything, and determined to follow in your mother’s footsteps, suffered in silence. 

*******

It was awful, you decided, to be cursed with such a fate. 

Awful in the fact that you could do nothing but curl in your bed and wait for the pains to subside. 

Awful that blood stained your hands and thighs and the floor of the shower when you stood beneath the stream of the water, wanting to be clean for just one single moment, but denied the pleasure, a constant reminder.

Awful that no one knew, no one wanted to know. 

Awful in the way that he looked at you, like you were some sort of disgusting creature, base and dirty and unworthy. 

Awful, awful, awful. 

It was raining, drops pelting the window, wind howling, when he came to stand in the doorway of your darkened room, dressed to go out. 

Sitting up, you had begged him not to go. 

He had simply waved you off, already pulling on his coat. “I don’t have time to sit around with you while you go through whatever this is. Other girls I’ve been with managed to take care of themselves still, get dressed, accompany me, all while this went on.” His lips curved into a sneer as he stared at you, huddled on the bed, bent over from the agony. “At least shower, for god’s sake, put a little effort into yourself for my sake.” 

He’d gone out, leaving you alone, and you decided at that moment that it was better to suffer alone, than suffer under the scathing gaze of someone else. 

*****

At eighteen, you realized your mother had lied to you. 

She’d told you creating life was a gift, a blessing, given to adults. 

The positive test sitting in the shaking palm of your hand said otherwise, a blatant lie bathed in stark pink lines. 

There wasn’t an option, not now. 

It was raining again, when you took the bus to the clinic by yourself. 

It was raining when you went home, alone. 

Raining when you laid curled up on the bathtub floor. 

Raining, raining, raining. 

Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding. 

Awful, awful, awful. 

******

You’re sitting in your bed, curled up against the wall, heating pad held tightly over your midsection, trying to distract yourself with scrolling on your phone, when there’s a knock at the door. 

Heaving yourself up, groaning slightly as it jostles your body and worsens the agonizing cramping, you practically double over as you walk to the door, reaching for the handle. 

On the other side is Hyunjin, flanked by Felix and Jeongin. 

You straighten a little, surprise flickering across your face as you see the omegas standing in the hall of the alpha dorm like they belong here. 

“Oh. Hey.” You manage to get out, palm splayed flat on the heating pad to keep it in place as you stand, leaning against the door. “What are you guys doing here?” 

Hyunjin gives you the sassiest, most annoyed look you think you’ve seen in awhile. 

“Please, like we were gonna sit and let you suffer alone after all you told us in that message?” He sniffs, looking you up and down. “Not very personable by the way, you couldn’t have told us in person?” 

You flush slightly, remembering the text you’d sent the pack the night before. 

‘This is embarrassing, but I’m on my cycle this week, and you probably won’t see me much. It’s usually pretty bad, but don’t worry, I’ll be good as new next week, and I’ve had plenty of experience dealing with it. Just didn’t wanna make any of you worry with my silence. Plus Hwasa told me I needed to tell you. So there. 😛’

“I didn’t think-” You start to say, and Felix cocks his head, staring at you. 

“Didn’t think we’d care? We do.” He says softly, firmly, in a way that makes your bones warm. 

“Yeah, noona.” Jeongin nods from behind Hyunjin’s shoulder. “I don’t know much, but I know enough from having girl friends that this time of month sucks on the regular.” 

Hyunjin loops his arm through yours. “Now c’mon. We have a bath already drawn up for you in the omega dorms. Let’s go before it gets cold.” 

“What, but I-” You begin to protest, but Felix takes your other arm as Jeongin shuts the door to your dorm behind you. 

“No buts.” He admonishes gently, giving you the hint of a smile. “You always help us, now let us help you.” 

It feels odd, foreign even, but you nod anyway, biting your bottom lip and swallowing the rest of your protest as they walk you over to the omega dorms. 

When they lead you into the communal bathroom, the large, sunken tub is already full of steaming water, bath oils shimmering on the surface, bubbles collecting at the edges. 

They really weren’t kidding when they said they’d drawn a bath for you. 

The room is steamy and warm and smells of citrus and something floral adjacent. 

Felix locks the door, and Jeongin moves to grab a couple of towels, as Hyunjin tugs you over to the large tub. 

He releases you, putting his hands on his hips, taking you in before he motions with a tilt of his head. “C’mon then, the water's not getting any warmer.” 

You hesitate, staring at him for a moment, and then you swallow. 

“You guys really don’t have to do this.” 

Jeongin glances at you from his seat on the lip of the tub, dangling his fingers in the water, genuine confusion on his face. “Why wouldn’t we?” 

“Well, just because-” You hedge out, not really sure how much detail to get into. “It’s kind of gross, and it gets messy-really messy, for me-and the bath is so nice, but you really don’t have to stay-” 

Hyunjin’s expression firms as he stares at you as you stutter out excuses. “Please, you don’t think we’re used to messy? C’mon, sweetheart, you’re talking to a room full of omegas here, we’ve got slick and bodily fluids and mess for days.” 

You blow out a breath at that. “I know, but-” “But nothing.” Felix says firmly, his hands going down on your shoulders. “A little blood isn’t gonna put any of us off. Right guys?” He glances to the other two omegas and they both nod without hesitation. “See?” Felix murmurs in your ear, his low voice sending a slight shiver down your spine. He moves a small fingered hand to cover your own where you still hold the heat pack to your lower stomach. “You don’t like to see us suffer, right? And you’ve helped us all through heats at this point, so let us help you now, okay?” 

Your gaze meets Hyunjin’s and he gives you a pointed stare.

“Just get in the fucking bath.”  

Sighing, you finally nod. “Okay. But let me go to the bathroom first.” 

You step into the ensuite bathroom and close the door, because suddenly, you feel self conscious. You’ve been naked in front of all of them before-they’re pack, for fuck’s sake-but this feels more intimate, more terrifying. 

Words used before ring through your mind as you strip down. 

Dirty. Pathetic. Shameful. Disgusting. Weak. 

Taking in a breath, you remove the protection you wear and toss it, and almost immediately, blood is slowly starting to ooze down the inside of your thighs, coating your skin with warmth and slickness. 

“Fuck.” You swear, glancing down, and decide that as much as you’d like to hide out in the bathroom for a few more moments, you can’t risk it. 

Not if you don’t want a puddle on the floor. 

Plus, the cramps are resuming with the removal of the heat pack. 

So with a sigh of resignation, you leave the bathroom, arms wrapped around you as you step into the warm humidity of the other room where the omegas are waiting. 

Trying to keep your legs clamped together so they can’t see the crimson coating your skin, you hurry to the bath and slide into the water. It instantly takes on a pink hue, and you hope they just attribute it to the bath oils they’d clearly added while you were gone. 

“Temperature okay?” Felix asks, moving to sit beside Jeongin at the edge of the tub, his gaze assessing your features. 

“Yeah, it’s good.” You breathe out, and shift awkwardly beneath the water. Already the heat is helping, but the way they’re all staring at you-

“All right, move over.” Hyunjin commands the younger omegas, as he approaches the bathtub with a rag held in one of his hands. He arches a brow at you as they slide apart, making room for him on the edge of the large tub. “Lemme see.” 

You stare at him for a long moment, mouth slightly parted. “No, it’s okay. You really don’t have to-” 

He crouches down beside the tub, wetting the rag in the water, his gaze never leaving yours. 

“It wasn’t a request, babe. Let me see.” 

You don’t think you’ve ever heard Hyunjin sound quite so authoritarian before. 

So without another word, you bring your knees up out of the water and spread your legs for him. 

The water has washed away the majority of the blood, but there’s still stubborn dried patches from earlier stuck to the warm skin of your upper thighs. 

Carefully, slowly, as if he’s scared he’ll spook you, Hyunjin leans forward over the lip of the bath and begins to gently scrub away the bloodstains from off your skin. 

You tense under the contact, taking in a sharp breath, but Felix reaches out to put a cool hand on the overheated skin of your shoulder. 

“C’mon, noona. You’d do the same for us. Let us take care of you.” 

You give a slight shake of your head, and you don’t know if it’s because you’re currently on your period, or if you’re just emotional suddenly, but tears choke your throat a little. “No, it’s not that. It’s just-” Your words cut off as you bite your tongue, because maybe being too honest in this moment isn’t the best thing. 

You feel Hyunjin’s gaze flicker up from his work in between your thighs, scanning over your pinched expression. 

“Someone gave you shit for it, didn’t they?” He asks softly, and you meet his gaze, your own mirroring the sudden shock his words send crashing over you. 

Felix’s fingers tighten a little bit on your shoulder. 

Hyunjin scoffs a little laugh-humorless and bitter-and must take your silence as an answer of itself, because he ducks his head to continue washing your skin with the warm water, saying in a murmur, “Yeah, I figured. People like to shit on things they don’t understand. It’s fucked up, but it’s the way it is.” 

“That’s just stupid.” Felix announces with a slight edge of defensiveness to his tone. “It’s an anatomical function. Just like something associated with secondary genders-like scents or slick or knotting. You can’t do anything about it.” 

“Yeah, but-” You hesitate, then push yourself to continue. “-mine’s always been worse than normal. Way worse than normal. And people just never liked to deal with it.” Your voice dips softer, your breath coming out in a sigh. “It got worse after I presented, so I just kind of holed up every month and dealt with it on my own.” 

“You’ve got us now, noona.” Jeongin murmurs back, moving his hand to cover Felix’s where it covers your shoulder.

You glance up and give him the hint of a smile. “I know.” Your smile wavers a bit. “But old habits die hard. And I don’t want you guys to ever think-” Once again, your words stutter to a halt. 

“Think what?” Felix pushes softly, as Hyunjin finishes washing your legs, and moves to lean against the lip of the tub, studying you silently, seriously. 

You shrug one shoulder. “I don’t know. That I’m gross or pathetic or something like that.” 

“Why would we ever think that?” Felix asks again, his voice coming out a little sharp in obvious defense of you. 

“Because someone else did.” Hyunjin answers for you, not looking up, playing with the rag held between his hands. He glances up at you. “Right?” 

You give a little nod and release a shaky breath. “Yeah.” 

“We’re not them.” Felix pushes firmly, his fingers squeezing into your shoulder until you look up at him. “Okay? We could never be like them.” You hold his gaze until a small part of you believes him, and move to squeeze his fingers back. 

“Okay.” 

********

The door to your dorm opens, and you glance up from your laptop, as soft footsteps head down the hall toward you. 

You smell him before you see him-rain. 

Chan appears in the doorway, clothed in an oversized hoodie and sweats, hood pulled up over his unruly curls. 

He leans against the doorframe as you shut your laptop, shifting it to the side of your bed as you meet his gaze. 

“Hey.” You say softly as way of greeting. 

“Hi.” He returns, reaching up to push his hood back with his free hand, the other dangling by his side, a plastic bag clenched between his fingers. “Yeosang said you didn’t feel well enough to go running this morning.” 

“Yeah.” You sigh, glancing down at the pile of blankets on your lap, the heating pad warming your lower stomach buried below the layers. “Wasn’t up to it.” 

Chan pads over to the bed and sits down on the edge, careful not to jostle you as he does so. 

You flick your gaze to his, and you can tell, by the furrow between his brows and the slight souring of petrichor that he’s worried. 

He holds aloft the bag in his hand. 

“I brought you some things.” 

Your lips curve slightly at the unexpected gesture. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Of course I did.” He counters back, sliding the bag across the bed so it rests in your lap. 

You bite back a smile and glance down, undoing the knot of the bag to reveal the contents. 

On top is his overly large Nirvana hoodie, the fabric warm and soft between your fingers. 

“Your hoodie?” You look up at him in slight surprise, and the tips of his ears go red as he tries to play it off with a shrug. 

Adorable. 

“Yeah, I thought it might help.” 

You arch a brow, but pull out the hoodie and slip it on over your head without another word. 

You swear Chan makes a sort of muted purring sound in his chest when you do so. 

You dig into the bag some more, and pull out a couple of boxes of your favorite treats, some sports drinks, and a couple of DVDs-probably snagged from Jisung’s extensive collection. 

“Channie.” You breathe out, glancing up at him once more, and again, the stupid tears are threatening. “You really didn’t have to do all of this.” 

He shrugs, reaching for one of the movies, turning it over in his large hands. “C’mon, you really thought I was just gonna sit by and stay away while you’re clearly over here dying? You really don’t know me. Or him.” 

You give a little laugh at that, and Chan grins, dimples flashing. 

Glancing down at the treasures in your lap, you find yourself murmuring before you can stop the words, “No one’s ever done something like this for me before.” 

Chan shifts slightly on the bed, reaching out to put his hand over yours. “Yeah, well, that all ends now, baby. You’re stuck with me.And all of us.” 

You glance up at him, and he gives you another grin, reaching up to tousle his fingers through his hair as he spreads the movies out in front of you. 

“Now c’mon. Pick a movie. I brought you the cream of the crop.” 

You hold up one of the cases toward him, brow arched. 

“‘Hard Boiled’?” You announce with slight disbelief, a smirk curving your lips and brow disappearing further into your hairline. 

Chan reaches out and snatches the movie from you. 

“Okay, so maybe that one’s a miss. I tried.” 

You bite back a grin, and settle on one of the chickflicks you’ve seen a thousand times. 

But hey, classics are classics for a reason, right? 

After Chan fetches your laptop and gets the movie started, settled in the perfect spot on the end of the bed, you pat the spot beside you, scooting slightly so he has a bit more room. 

He hesitates. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you or anything.” 

You roll your eyes, reaching out to tug him down beside you with your fingers buried in the fabric of the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“I’m not injured, I’m just simply bleeding out slowly and surely.” 

“Oh, because that sounds so much better.” Chan retorts back in a grumble, but he doesn’t resist anymore, sliding beneath the layers of blankets with you. 

Grinning, you tug the hood of his Nirvana hoodie up over your head and snuggle into him, cheek on his broad, warm chest, arms wrapping around his middle. 

He’s like a furnace, and he smells like wet pavement. 

He wraps his arms around you in turn, keeping you tight against him, as he reaches to turn off the bedside lamp as the movie begins to play across the small brightly lit screen of your laptop. 

His cheek is resting on the top of your head, and the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your own cheek is soothing. 

“Okay?” He asks softly, and you nod, cheek brushing the fabric of his own hoodie. 

“Yeah.” You murmur back. “More than okay.” 

You feel him press a kiss to the top of your head, and suddenly, you don’t feel so bad anymore. 

******

You open the door to Minho, who immediately pushes past you without a word, a tower of bentos held in his arms. 

“Hello to you too.” You mutter as he marches past you, directly toward your small kitchen. 

You follow behind him wordlessly, and he motions to the table with a jerk of his chin as you enter, already spreading the boxes out on the counter top, removing lids like he has some sort of personal vendetta against them. 

“Sit.” He commands, and you decide it’s better not to question him, so you do. 

Almost within moments, Minho has presented you with a bowl full of steaming ramen with all the garnishes-fish cake, bamboo, mushrooms, bean sprouts-shoving a pair of chopsticks in your hand as he turns back to the counter. 

Your mouth falls agape, and your stomach rumbles loudly as the smell of the food reaches your nose. 

He returns to the table with a smaller bowl full of hot rice, and one full of kimchi. Last but not least, he positions a slab of perfectly cooked pink beef ribs atop your ramen and slides you one of the sports drinks Chan had brought you from the fridge. 

“Eat.” He commands once more, and you stare at him as he sits down across from you after tidying up the now empty bento boxes. 

“What-” You start to question, and he simply fixes you with an unblinking gaze, expression unreadable. 

“What, you’ve never had ramen before, sweetheart? You’re supposed to put it in your mouth.” 

Glancing down at the food before you, you hesitantly take your chopsticks and gather up a mouthful, before blowing on it and popping it into your mouth. 

It’s so heavenly, you almost moan. 

“Good girl.” Minho praises, seemingly satisfied, as you take another bite, and then another. He sits back in his own chair, watching you, but the food is too delicious for you to feel embarrassed under his sharp, astute gaze. 

“Holy shit, Minho.” You manage to get out in between bites. “You made this?”

Minho scoffs lightly. “Don’t sound so surprised. I’m a good cook.” He leans forward slightly, sweeping his gaze over the quickly dwindling food. “I usually make this one with pork belly, but I read something about red meat being better when you’re on your period, so I swapped it for the ribs this time around. It wasn’t too disappointing.” 

Your gaze meets his, and your mouth falls open. 

“You read something?” You squeak out, and Minho has the decency to look offended, rolling his eyes. 

“What? I can read too you know, sweetheart, cooking isn’t just my one speciality. I’m a multi trick pony.” 

“No, no.” I shake my head, wiping my mouth and setting down my chopsticks for a moment. “You read up on what to make me while I’m on my period? Why?” 

Minho holds your gaze, arching a brow. “To get the recipe right.” 

You stare at him for another long moment, and when it’s clear that’s all you’re going to get, you move to resume eating, finishing the ramen in record time. 

Minho moves to gather up the now empty bowls, and in a bold move, you reach out and snag his hand with your own. 

“Thank you.” You say softly, seriously, and he gives you another long stare, before he pulls away and moves to pack up the dishes. 

You’re surprised when he moves to sit back down across from you instead of leaving immediately now that you’ve eaten his food. 

You sit in silence for a few moments, and you don’t know what it is about Minho that’s always made you feel safe, unjudged, able to tell him anything, but you find yourself, once again, volunteering to tell him something you’ve never told anyone else before. 

The words are already at the tip of your tongue before you can stop them. 

“I had an abortion.” You announce into the silence, and if Minho is shocked by you baring this truth out of the blue, he doesn’t show it. Which gives you the courage to go on, fidgeting with your fingers, as you stare down at the chipped surface of the table. 

“When I was a teenager. And it made them worse-the periods, I mean. They were bad before, but ever since-” You give a slight shake of your head and let out a breath. “-they’ve been awful.” 

“Mm.” Minho makes a sound of acknowledgement beneath his breath from across the table, but that’s it. He doesn’t offer anything more. 

So you keep going. 

Spilling your guts into the silence. 

“I thought, for a long time-” You sniff and take in a breath, a humorless sharp little choked laugh leaving your lips as you continue. “-that maybe I was being punished, you know? Punished for being born a girl, punished for presenting as an alpha, punished for-” Your words trail off a little. “-well, you know. Not keeping it.” 

You shrug, tapping your fingers along the table softly. 

“I dunno. Maybe I thought that bleeding was a symbol of everything I’d ever done wrong. It was certainly treated as such.” 

There is a long moment of silence, your words hanging heavy in the air between you, and then Minho takes a breath, leaning forward across the table.

“You know, sweetheart-” He murmurs, and you glance up at the soft tone of his voice, so unfamiliar when it comes to the alpha sitting across from you. “-I’ve come to learn that everything is simply a coincidence. There’s no higher power punishing people, bullshit happens to people every day and it’s all just a fluke. There’s no rhyme or reason.” 

You swallow, and he holds your gaze with his own. 

“So believe me, when I tell you, that whatever idiotic moron made you think there’s something wrong with you that needs to be ‘punished’ every goddamn month, is a fucking fool.” Your lips part slightly, but he doesn’t let you speak. 

“And if it’s yourself, well then-” He gives you a hint of a smirk, tilting his head slightly as he regards you. “-I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to tell that bitch to shut the fuck up, sweetheart.” 

******

You wince slightly, coming in after your shower, hurrying to the dresser to find a pair of underwear to slip on beneath your oversized t-shirt before you can drip all over the floor. 

Changbin must take notice of the grimace from his spot on your bed, because he pushes himself up, arching a brow. 

“Cramps?” 

You nod, still digging through your drawers for underwear, swearing slightly under your breath. “Yeah. They always get worse whenever I stand up and move around.”

You feel his presence behind you, smell a wave of smoke wash over your senses. 

“You know what they say.” He murmurs, wrapping a strong arm around your waist, careful not to put too much pressure on your tender midsection. “About helping cramps.”

You scoff a little, glancing over your shoulder at him. “What if that’s just an old wives tale?” 

He wiggles his eyebrows at you playfully, smirking a little now. “Is it?” 

You skate your gaze away from his, suddenly embarrassed. “I mean. I don’t know.” 

There is a brief moment of pause, and then Changbin asks in slight surprise, “What, you’ve never done it before?” 

You huff a breath at that, still avoiding his gaze, hands stilling in the depths of your drawer. “I mean-” You hesitate, before admitting, “-it’s gross.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Changbin turns you at that, hands going down firmly on your shoulders, lifting your chin with a finger after another moment of you not looking at him 

“I’m gonna drip blood all over the floor if you don’t let me go find something soon.” You protest a little weakly, reluctantly holding his gaze. 

“In a minute.” He waves you off, expression going serious as he stares at you. “Listen, I mean, if that’s you talking, and you personally think it’s gross, then by all means, I get it, and that’s well within your right. As Hyunjin would say, ‘Slay, pussy boss bitch queen’ or whatever he usually says to empower females, but-” 

You watch the way his brow furrows, dark gaze holding your own, lips pressing into a firm almost angry line. “-If some son of a bitch pussy footing prick masquerading as a man put that idea in your head that it was gross, then we’re gonna have a whole other problem.” 

You stare at him for a long moment, mouth opening and closing for a few brief seconds as you try and comprehend what he’s telling you. 

“You-” You hedge out, still staring at him in slight disbelief. “-don’t think it’s gross?” 

Changbin chuckles, and then it turns into a full blown laugh. “Baby girl. What part of who I am and all you know about me points toward the fact that I would find anything about this gross in the slightest?”

“I don’t know-” You protest back helplessly. “I just thought-” Changbin backs you up until your back hits the wood of the dresser behind you, hands going on either side of your head, and when you take in a sharp breath, meeting his gaze, his irises are almost gleaming completely gold. When he speaks, his tone is low, voice almost predatory. “Well, let me correct you then.” He leans closer to you, breathing in against your temple, taking in your scent. 

“Blood is not a turn off for me. Or him. Quite the opposite actually.” 

You take in a shaky breath, mind taking a moment to catch up to what he’s telling you. 

“So.” He brushes his nose along your hairline, breathing you in still. “I’m going to ask you again. You know what they say helps cramps?” 

Your voice is small, barely a whisper. “Yes.” He flicks his gaze down to yours, smirking slightly-teeth flashing dangerously in a way that sends a shiver down your spine. “You wanna try it?” 

You swallow hard, and push past every single part of you that’s screaming at you to say otherwise. 

“Yes.” 

As if that’s all he needs to hear, Changbin sweeps you up with a growl, and deposits you will little to no effort on the center of your bed, flat on your back. 

You don’t even have a moment to feel ashamed or embarrassed, or check the situation down below before he’s already crawling between your legs, forcing your thighs apart for him. 

“Bin-” You start to protest, panic setting in once more as you feel the telltale stickiness on the inside of your upper thighs, but he silences you with one glance. 

“I’m gonna take it easy on you, baby. It tends to get a little more sensitive down here around this time, yeah? We’re gonna make sure you’re comfortable,so don’t worry about that, but I also don’t want to hear one word out of that pretty mouth unless it’s begging me for more, understood?” 

He settles himself down on his stomach between your thighs, and you find yourself only able to whisper out, “Yes, sir.” 

A sharp flash of white teeth. “Good girl.”

You take in a breath, holding it, and then let it out slowly, trying not to think of anything but the feel of his warm breath on your skin, the tickling of his fingers skating up your bare legs, moving back the hem of the large t-shirt you wear-

He slides a finger inside of you, and you instantly tense up. 

“Relax.” He murmurs, and you try to do as he asks, and you know he can feel it, when he gives a slightly approving hum in the back of his throat, almost a growl. “Good girl. There you go.” 

“Oh.” You breathe out, as you slowly relax, and he slides a second finger in, moving them carefully, searchingly, looking for that spot inside that makes you feel like you’re floating on air, sparks flashing before your eyes. 

He’s right, you are sensitive down there, and everything is overwhelming, but in a good way. 

“Bin-” You whine out, squirming slightly now, body already keying up as hot ropes of pleasure start to gather low in your belly. 

“Yeah, baby.” He purrs, and when you meet his gaze, his pupils have completely taken over the gold of his irises. 

It’s almost enough to send you over right then and there, the way his lips are slightly parted, drinking in the sight of you writhing beneath his touch greedily. 

He pulls back, before you can fully succumb to the pleasure though, and you have to bite down hard on your lip to stop from whining at the sudden loss of contact. 

He shifts, pulling his hand back from you, and holds up his fingers for you to see, his gaze slowly tracing over the blood dribbling down the digits, staining his skin crimson. 

“Beautiful.” He growls, and the way he says the word has a shiver running down your spine. 

He raises the fingers to his mouth, and without thinking, you jolt upward, already reaching out for him, old habits kicking in as you blurt out in a sudden panic once more, “Don’t-” He holds your gaze steadily as he slips the fingers into his mouth and sucks them clean, slowly, one by one. 

You stare at him, mouth agape, chest heaving, and you hate to say it, but it’s probably one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen-watching him savor the taste of you on his fingers, cleaning them with swipes of his tongue, his dark gaze never wavering from yours. 

“‘Don’t’ what?” He growls out, pinning you beneath his swirling golden gaze. “Don’t taste you?” 

And without warning, he leans back down between your legs, and drags the warmth of his tongue up your center, flattening it against you as he slowly works his way upward. 

Your breath comes out on a sort of choked sound, and you fall back against the bed, muscles trembling. 

“Jesus fuck-” You swear breathlessly, and a guttural growl rumbles in his chest at the words leaving your lips. 

He surges up, hands going down on either side of your head now, staring down at you, eyes dark and hungry and predatory. 

His lips are reddened, stained with blood. 

Your blood. 

Well, fuck. 

He smirks, and you reach up without really thinking to swipe the pad of your thumb across the full swell of his bottom lip, studying the crimson that comes off on your skin when you do so.

A slightly awe filled laugh leaves your lips on your next exhale. 

Changbin flashes bloodstained teeth at you in a sharp grin. 

A completely dangerous sight you could get used to. 

“Want me to keep going?” He murmurs, holding your gaze. 

You nod eagerly, already moving to pull him down to you. “Yes please.” And when you kiss him, you taste yourself on his lips in an entirely new way-the way he must-and he’s right. 

It’s fucking beautiful.

****

“Feeling better, gorgeous?” Jisung murmurs to you, leaning back against your chest, your arms wrapped around his tiny waist beneath the warmth of the blankets. 

“Much.” You breathe back, rubbing your nose against his soft hair. 

Seungmin scoffs from his position behind you, his own arm slung along the couch behind your heads. 

“Be quiet. The two of you are gonna miss the movie.” Jisung leans his head back and grins up at you, nose wrinkling, as he whispers to you loudly, “Party pooper.” 

You laugh, kissing the tip of his nose. 

Seungmin sighs behind you, but you feel him stroking his fingers idly through your hair regardless of his show of irritation. 

You snuggle down between the betas, the air filled with the spice of ginger and linens, warm and safe beneath the blanket between their bodies, and feel, for the first time in your life, that maybe this week isn’t as awful as you always thought. 

Maybe, just maybe, it doesn’t need to be. 

Not ever again. 

Not with them. 

[astrolaurical]

EDIT JUNE 30:

I LOVE IT WHEN MORE SOURCES ARE COMING OUT TO BACK UP MY CLAIMS YES

Also… please.

RM’S CHAOTIC LOVE LIFE ANALYZED IN SONG LYRICS

This is all alleged and speculation. No relationships are proven true until confirmed by the idols themselves or their agencies. Do not take this personally or too seriously. This is just an extreme over-analysis of song lyrics and observations I have made about idol interactions from years of being a K-Pop fan.  This is a work in progress- RM has like a million songs and I am constantly going back and rediscovering new meaning in lyrics and adding to the song list. So buckle up, get a snack and a drink because I basically typed an 12 page thesis.

Indigo track-by-track analyses link

Favorite Girl (2012)- girl broke up with him over a letter in the winter

Thinkin Bout U- mentions red converse high girl

Coffee (2013)-bitter over breakup bc became idol?

Blanket kick (2014)- keep being/acting embarrassing around crush/gf and admits a lot of songs about her- possibly about yerin?

Miss right (2014)- maybe about yerin? possibly about wishing to be in ideal relationship but can’t bc idol

Where did you come from (2014)-superficial love 

Boy in luv (2014)- unrequited love and changing oneself to try to get her affections

Danger (2014)-unaffectionate/uncaring gf not putting her all in the relationship

Intro:what am I to you (2014)-relationship started out too intense so gf put up barriers and shut bf out

Converse high (2015), converse high (predebut) -song that I believe is about yerin from 15&

Run (2015)- giving your all to someone who doesn’t appreciate it

Hold me tight (2015)-knows breakup is about to occur but wants to rekindle feelings from beginning of relationship

I NEED U (2015)- how because of this girl, they are becoming ruined and they want out of the relationship. However, they cannot bring themselves to leave and begs her to break it off for him. They are going through hell because of this relationship yet they keep coming back.

Autumn leaves (2016)- refusing to move on from breakup

Love is not over (2016)-refusing to move on from breakup where girl clearly didn’t love him/ she was toying with him or realized that hookups don’t satisfy them bc only last the night and person only theirs when they are physically in the bed

Blood sweat tears (2016)- addicted to sex with someone

Dilemma (2016)- gf feeling like stranger as she becomes distant but rm still refuses to let go bc he loves her

13430 (2018)-galactic ode to lovers whose bond dwindles, eventually breaking aloof.

Fake love (2018)- “I’m so sick of this fake love” Pretty self explanatory. The same message will be repealed in “Her” and “Closer”.

Her (2018)- the person they are in love with doesn't know the real them, only the mask they put on

Truth untold (2018)- It speaks of the singer putting on a mask to see the one that they love. They create a facade to hide behind so the object of their affection doesn’t see their broken and damaged side. They are afraid that their love will leave them because of their hidden side. They have a love, but it is fake love because they aren’t being real and so because they did not have the courage to show their love their real self, they left. They are left sitting in their ruined dream reminiscing about what would’ve happened if things turned out differently.

Im fine (2018)- a little self growth yay! Went from “save me” to “I’m fine”

Euphoria (2018)- happiness associated with young love and new beginnings. There are some underlying tones of feelings of how their love is fake and not based on attraction

Waste it on Me (2018)- a hopeless and hopeful love affair. While one side of the relationship labels the concept of love as a waste, the other strongly advocates for the pursuit.

Jamais Vu (2019)- can never do right by gf so want another chance

Crying over you (2019)- breakup but each person is mature enough to let go of each other and sending wishes that their ex would find a better person whom perfectly fit for them.

TOMORROW X TOGETHER - 0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You) (2021)- apparently RM had part in writing this song. He must have been loved up in his couple ring era because this song screams honeymoon stage. Clearly it didn't last based on the angry songs in this list that came afterward.

Young Love (2022)- We don’t know which of the members this viewpoint is about, so I will include this song just to be safe

SEXY NUKIM (2022)- you know the part I’m referring to… Girl you can keep it low While we do the ride I'll apply you tonight Ain't gotta DM 'Cause you heard about my team”

Closer (2022)- Namjoon, man. Will you ever learn your lesson?! You can’t replace sex with love! And you know it too. You’ve written like 20 songs about this very thing.

Change pt. 2 (2022)- MANS HEXED HIS EX LMAOOO. I WOULD BE SCARED SHITLESS.  “SOMEDAY A GREAT GRIEF WILL DO COME FOR YOU AND THEN YOULL KNOW IT TOO THATS ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU. YOU CANT LOVE SOMEONE LIKE I DO”

Smoke Sprite (2022)- Honey, what you doin' in my bed? Yeah, Uh, baby, welcome to my favorite place, yes→ RM said 2022 IS THE YEAR I LET EVERYONE KNOW IM NOT A VIRGIN

Dont ever say love me (2023)- “I wanna die when youre next to me” like man wants to breakup so bad because even when youre around him you give him the ick

WHO ARE THE SONGS ABOUT?

ANONYMOUS PRE-DEBUT CITIZEN

RM admitted to having a girlfriend in highschool during a 2015 episode of Problematic Men. He said it was a short-lived relationship because she had too many male friends and was causing him to be jealous. Speaking of 2015, notice how the other men are rushing him to try and slip up and admit that he is dating? Or admit that he would write a letter to a sweetheart? That goes into my theory about Yerin below, with the timelines matching up in 2015. RM is notoriously TOO honest and his Problematic Men hyungs knew it, with Namjoon probably gushing about his girlfriend at after-taping 회식, and were wanting him to slip up and spill on air. RM finally admitted that he would write a song for his crush on White Day (cough cough Converse High cough cough).

YERIN

While BTS has never had a confirmed partner since debut, Baek Yerin is the only rumored girlfriend RM has had tabloids write about. Yerin is the only one of the three women I’m the most confident about in this analysis that he has had a relationship with. I am fairly certain that RM has a crush on Hwasa, and that Chaeyoung has a crush on RM.

Yerin’s entire 2019 album “Every letter I sent you.” seems to be a reflection of the passionate love (and toxic) affair her and Namjoon had when they were around ages 18/19-20/21. It could be possible they dated even as early as when Namjoon was 16 if his earlier unreleased love songs are about her, as well. That’s highly unlikely, as Yerin is the same age as Jungkook, 3 years younger than Namjoon. 

Her songs often mention tons of sex, drunken nights, smoking, and fights. This sounds highly out of character for Namjoon (minus the sex and a little bit of drinking). There are rumors that some BTS members smoked, though it’s not confirmed who they are and if they still do. (Edit: Taehyung was officially confirmed to have smoked after pictures of him smoking at the 2022 Grammys were leaked. There were also numerous other occasions where he was holding a vape in his hand, but nothing as big as this “Grammys smoking scandal” went as viral. Jungkook is also confirmed to smoke after his vape was revealed in a Weverse live. Suga alludes to him being a constant smoker in his song “Haegeum”, and he does hold that cigarette like a seasoned pro… but the cig reference was mainly a call out to overprotective fans who think they they can tell other people what they can do with their bodies.)

They most likely had a karmic relationship- an intense but PAINFUL relationship that will rip you out and spit you out. Every hidden side of you is revealed through sex and intimacy, but it is so intense, that you cannot be with the person forever but you feed off of each other’s brokenness. I’m sure if you asked them about what they learned from that relationship, they would say they learned SO MUCH about life, love, and self.

It (allegedly) definitely seems like Namjoon broke up with her around 2015-2016 after the success of I NEED U, when BTS became busier and he had less time to spend with her. From the timeline of BTS songs, I would place their relationship anywhere from 2012-2015. While he was heartbroken for YEARS after this (see the above listed songs, the longest list off all 3 lyrics lists), he has now come to terms with it. It seems like Yerin has come to terms with it as well, as this blog post breaks down each song meaning beautifully. It seems like Yerin has found a box of diaries or love letters from this relationship and has written songs in chronological order of the entire timeline, from beginning to end, with the last song talking about her getting closure with viewing the memories and how the two were not meant to be.

Yerin states that “This album reflects memories, dilemmas, and thought processes I had from when I was nineteen to twenty three.” She is currently 24 years old Korean age (23 years old standard age at the time that I wrote this in 2020, she would be 26 years old in 2023 now). This would put the beginning of the album at 19 years old in 2014 to 23 years in 2018. The timeline does match.

Maybe its not our fault (2019)- how partners in relationship slowly started to drift apart

0310- sex cant save a relationship

It’s like I dont know myself (2017)- the more he probes the more she loses herself and him

Meant to Be (2019)- about namjoon 100000% id bet my life on it. Him saying they’re meant to be, he’s kind. 

Across the Universe (2015)- hes slipping away but shes clinging to him

Mr. Gloomy (2019)- talking about how hes so melancholy and loves rainy days (Namjoon forever rain)

Bye Bye My Blue (2016)- becoming resentful of Namjoon’s growing fame while her career is stagnant

“Cuz I’m afraid to say things I want to say. I push you away and make things uncomfortable”

CAN I BE U (2019)- most likely a response to I NEED U

His Ocean (2016)- NJ trying to get a deep connection but Yerin resisting. Namjoon also has a fascination with oceans and always mentions it in lyrics.

“I'm not good at emptying my heart. It's not as easy as it sounds. But why do you keep asking me to do something I can't? There's a lot that has built up in my heart. I can't get rid of it and I'm always frustrated”

Amy (2019)- apologizing for the hardships she put him through in the relationship and admitting she buys all their albums and that their Love Yourself campaign has helped her (allegedly)

Popo (2019) - saying how intoxicated she is with the man (his eyes, his scent, his voice). If the song is about NJ, I mean, same girl. The man in the song wrote her a song and played it for her.

“You'll never know How much your voice attracts me, boy. It's exceptional Especially When you're playing the song for me. I can't take my eyes away”

Datoom (2019)- Reflecting on how much they argued before they broke up

Not a girl (2019) - seoulbeats (linked above) sums up this song perfectly: “Yerin wanting to speak up for herself against a lover who doesn’t seem to truly be for her. There lies a misunderstanding between who he attempts to see her as, versus who she believes she truly is.”

“Can’t be what you want. I can’t be what you were. I can’t say I have done so many things but now. Can’t be good enough”

Newsong2 (2019)- "Want to be just like you once. Make it up if I do wrong. Ignore and leave the silence". Make up and brush it under the rug.

Point (2019)- insecure partner in love keeps questioning her love

London (2019)-partner is trying to idealize her and is not seeing her for who she is

HWASA

It does seem that Namjoon has a thing for Cancers, if my and others’ speculations about his dating life are true. Both Yerin and Hwasa are Cancer suns. While Namjoon’s Cancer Mars is in his 8th house and plays a predominant role in his life and relationships, it is clear to see why he is drawn to Cancer sun individuals. But remember, the 8th house is death and rebirth. Karmic relationships.

Hwasa and Namjoon do have a lot of similarities, from not only looking similar (face, tan, thicc), but to being criticized by fans and media alike (tan, ignorance. RM has apologized and grown from his mistakes. Still waiting on Hwasa’s genuine apology since she continues to appropriate… and do blackface). Both are also highly sexual beings.

While the man in her songs has characteristics that sound a lot like him, so do many other anonymous citizens of Seoul like Hwasa stated. She makes her ex sound like he was available whenever to come and see her, and RM being part of the biggest boy group on the planet doesn’t have much free time, even though his personality is very empathetic and giving. The only reason I included her is because a lot of other people seem to think there was something going on between the two, whether it was a FWB situation or brief one-month romance. I will admit I do not keep up with Mamamoo or Hwasa at all so these are the only songs I know by her. I have heard rumors that she has been in a steady relationship with a man like 10 years older than her and is in a prominent position, like a ceo or something? All alleged, of course. You can never really trust that stuff.

Twit (2019)- how Hwasa wants her lover to not be so passive, loving, and predictable, but take charge and surprise her. This song seems the most likely of Hwasa’s songs to be about NJ because Yerin and BTS’s songs about exes have mentioned the man giving so much of himself into the relationship that he loses himself. Hwasa fans speculate that Twit may be about Loco, as he was VERY chivalrous and swooned over her every time they worked together.

“You give me a lot, but why are you the only one feeling unhappy? Because you breathe only for me. You look so lonely”

Why (2020)- missing her ex, most likely the lover from Twit

“You're my hero. We have many similarities, like a mirror”

Kidding (2020)- sarcastic remarks to a cheating ex and his new lover. Not quite sure if this is about Namjoon because his natal chart doesn’t really have any aspects linking to cheating, but natal charts aren’t the end-all-be-all. Everyone still has free will, and he very well may have cheated.

“Of course you must have been busy. You two falling in love. It’s an old thing that’s thrown out after one use. You’re going to regret it soon. Isn’t it so ironic?”

CHAEYOUNG

Another slightly uncomfortable pattern in all of these alleged “exes” is that RM likes to date younger women, as every single “ex-girlfriend” listed here is younger than him. Namjoon was born in 1994, Hwasa in 1995, Yerin in 1997…. and Chaeyoung in 1999. Namjoon… dude. Chaeyoung is a Taurus, which vibes well with his Virgo sun. Namjoon also has his descendant in Taurus, which is what he looks for in a marriage partner. I don’t have any of the girls’ birth times, but standard 1200 time all results in negative match scores, showing that the majority of Namjoon and each individual girl’s natal chart did not sync well for a compatible match.

Whenever there are multiple fan videos of idol ships, take notice. Weed out the delusional ones but pay attention to ones that seem plausible after researching the K-Pop industry and how idols get away with dating. Idols have confirmed that looking at each other is a form of flirting when at award shows. And there are plenty of clips of RM and Chaeyoung doing just that. Chaeyoung has written her own rap lyrics but mostly it is about a crush and then immediately to heartbreak, so clearly the relationship didn’t last long. The song timelines from crush (2016) to regret (2018) show a brief interlude of happiness and touching (2017). My guess is that after pursuing RM for quite some time, he gave in and hooked up with her, but she wanted more and got her heart broken.

Precious Love (2016)- apologizing and asking scorned ex to come back

“I’m so sorry. Please come back. Do you still feel the same? Have you still not forgiven me? Have the scars I’ve given you Not healed yet? Or have you replaced me With someone else? Is there no place for me In your heart anymore?”

Daring Woman (2016)- she’s young but stop pushing her away

Eye Eye Eyes (2017)- describing a crush she has on someone. Mentions white tee shirt and jeans that he likes, possible reference to converse high

“Ocean-like eyes, I’ll swim in them. Yeah yeah yeah. Everyone knows his pretty eye-smile. I want it to myself. Yeah yeah yeah. Your heart is ice I’ll melt you” and “Do men like White shirt with jeans and most importantly long hair”

Missing U (2017) -ex promised her the world then broke her heart. A recurring theme throughout all 3 girl’s lyrics, hmmmm maybe the ex in Namjoon’s songs isn’t the problem, then?

“You promised me And I foolishly believed. But when you left, you had no guilt. But still I miss you. Miss you baby”

Sweet Talker (2018)- I have a very tiny suspicion this might be about more than one BTS member since Jeonghyeon was involved in the writing process. RM is known for choosing his words carefully, being a smooth talker when it comes to flirting and being a poetic genius.

“You seduced me with your sweet words. You made my heart beat with your clear eyes” and “Your words were as clear as the sky. Your words had no feelings”

The only confirmed relationship I know that Chae was in was with that scumbag tattoo artist that drew those lewd drawings of Chae giving him head and posted it for the world to see and she got so much hate because of it. Thank goodness they’re not together anymore.

This is where I had last stopped in my draft. It says the last edit was December 6, 2020 lmao. So some things I had previously said I may disagree with now but I'm leaving up as I like to see how my thoughts have changed over the years. For example, I now do not think that Chaeyoung or RM ever dated, and that she just had an extreme crush on him. I mean, girl same. Yerin I still believe 100% dated him as she broke formal speech on TELEVISION and called him a pet name. The only reason that wasn't a bigger deal is that both were unknown artists back in 2015. Hwasa, I am on the fence about. I see more reaction videos of Taehyung being the ass man that he is lusting over her than RM. I wouldn't let my buddy thirst over my girl but RM is pretty chill about it. Granted they are in public and being filmed, but even if he did talk to Tae about it, V still did it over and over. Weird, no? So that is why i lean more towards that Hwasa and RM probably didnt officially date, but maybe were just fuck buddies?

Now onto RM’s love life that DID make news:

COUPLES RING

I really wish I had kept a better timeline of him wearing that ring, sigh. The only things I can really find online of him wearing that ring started the whole “namjoon married” ordeal were around September 2020 when that infamous video of him taking it off before going on air surfaced, making it look hella suspicious. I definitely remember him wearing that ring for maybe the entirety of Dynamite promotions? The Dynamite era went from August 25, 2020- December 3, 2021 according to BTS Wiki. This was like peak COVID time and I was an essential worker so I admittedly wasn’t keeping up with BTS that closely and instead was just trying to make it through the day. He was talking about having kids a lot during this time too, and that one live of him showing off the baby shoes did not help his case that he is already married with kids. Namjoon did seem to get in on the joke though by trolling us and posting that photo of him and a little girl with her face covered.

There were also terrible rumors going around during this time that he was gay. Namjoon clearly has a very close guy friend and likes to take pictures with said best friend to preserve memories. To respect his non-famous friend’s privacy, he puts emojis over their face on the photos. Some of the emojis were hearts. Thus the shipping and speculation began. RM eventually stopped posting photos with this friend at all and then deleted all of them.

FIANCEE

June 24, 2022… the day when all Namjoon stans had a heart attack. News broke that he was engaged. So those couple ring photos must be true, we all thought. But alas! HYBE released a statement saying “RM’s marriage rumors are not true. We are currently taking swift action against malicious rumors started on YouTube.” Namjoon himself even posted on his instagram story saying “I don’t know her.” All is well, right? Then Indigo was released… and Namjoon really meant it when he said “I don’t know her.”

It is my belief that Namjoon really was engaged to be married to the person whom he shared couple rings with and who was the lockscreen on his phone. But, based on the lyrics from his songs in the Indigo album, we know that the relationship did not end well. Based on the lyrics in “Closer” and “Change pt. 2”, it seems like she broke his heart by either 1) cheating or 2) putting up emotional barriers and saying she didn’t have feelings for him. I will dissect all songs from the Indigo album in full in a separate masterlist and will link to it here.

According to the Sojang video posted on June 23, 2022, RM’s chaebol “fiancee” was going around bragging about being engaged to the idol. Once word got out about this, they had a huge fight about how she was just using him for his fame and not for his personality. This is where I kind of believe Sojang may have sources that are true. The BTS members have had tons of fake dating rumors and have never felt the need to personally respond and always just let their company handle it. Around this time, Jungkook was being “attacked” by Sojang for fake dating rumors as well and he never responded. But Namjoon decided to go to his personal instagram and type “I don’t know her” which could be viewed in two ways: he really has never met the person Sojang is claiming he was engaged to… or he never really knew the TRUE person who he was engaged to, only the mask they wore. And we all know that Namjoon loves being petty, passive aggressive, and cryptic… even more so when it comes to his exes apparently if his songs are anything to go by. He is straight up hexing his ex at the end of “Change pt. 2”.... The breakup has definitely scarred him. While I think he has been working on healing and that the Indigo album has helped tremendously, I do think that Namjoon is now way more reluctant to love than he once was. He has even said so himself on The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge that he used to see himself getting married (hmmm… I bet you did), but now he is unsure if he ever will. His long letter to ARMY recently on Weverse gives me hope that he will find love again when he is ready, and he admits so himself in that letter that he won’t go searching for it but will let divine timing take place and let the chips fall where they may.

[smutoperator]

It's time for a maknae-off! Match any maknae that you think of with the scenario:

1) Baby girl that gets pampered and worship by the members

2) Slut that gets free-used and degraded by all the members

3) Dom maknae that takes control and makes the leader her little slut

4) Has a higher body count than all the members put together

5) Cockslut that can't go much time without blowing someone (manager, choreographer, producer, random crew member)

6) Everytime her group promotes overseas she always sneak off the hotel to get gangbanged by locals that have no idea who she is besides a fucking whore

7) Makes sure to have a creampie everytime she performs at an awards show, praying that it won't go through her safety shorts and starts to drip down her leg

8) Before winning an award makes sure to blow someone and hold the load on her mouth, only swallowing a second before she needs to give her thanks speech

1) Baby girl that gets pampered and worship by the members. Yeri

2) Slut that gets free-used and degraded by all the members. Yuna ofc

3) Dom maknae that takes control and makes the leader her little slut. Lisa (we're considering Jisoo as the leader)

4) Has a higher body count than all the members put together. Arin

5) Cockslut that can't go much time without blowing someone (manager, choreographer, producer, random crew member). Shuhua

6) Everytime her group promotes overseas she always sneak off the hotel to get gangbanged by locals that have no idea who she is besides a fucking whore. Yeojin

7) Makes sure to have a creampie everytime she performs at an awards show, praying that it won't go through her safety shorts and starts to drip down her leg. Tzuyu

8) Before winning an award makes sure to blow someone and hold the load on her mouth, only swallowing a second before she needs to give her thanks speech. Hwasa

[misswoozi]

might as well round out the svt hhu 🤣 what are your headcanons for Seungcheol and Vernon?

HECK YEAH LET'S DO THIS

Seungcheol

bisexual (slight preference for men)

daddy dom with female partners

dom!bottom with male partners

likes car sex, likes drunk/high sex, likes edging his partner, likes dirty talk (especially when he's just trying to see how much he can fluster his partner)

Ass Man

bit of a size queen with male partners??

I ship him with Mingyu, Vernon, SinB and Hwasa! (I also have some random scenarios with him and Minghao + him and Dino lmao)

Vernon

bisexual (preference for women)

100% a top

isn't especially into being a dom OR a sub but generally tends to lean more subby (that being said, he is willing to try his hand at either if his partner wants him to)

loves high sex, loves being ridding, likes being choked, likes edging (giving or receiving), loves tit-fucking, lowkey likes having his hair pulled, likes being woken up for/with sex

I ship him with Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Wheen, Jessi, Woozi (in very specific circumstances), Jun and Minghao (...Vernon is very easy to ship!!)

and Seungcheol/Vernon is one of my ult Seventeen ships so I'd LOVE to talk more about them in the neat future!!

[mingiswow]

Pynk | Ahn Hyejin

Pairing: Hwasa x fem!reader

Words: +2,8k

Genre: fluff, established relationship, smut, first time

Smut warning: first time having sex, oral (reader receiving), fingering, strapon use, unprotected sex (queer people gets stds too, practice safe sex everybody), multiple orgasms,

⚠ MINORS DNI! If you’re under the age of 18 and/or don’t feel comfortable reading that type of content, I have a lot of other content here.

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there’s any mistake. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

A/n: thx anon for another request and sorry it took me so long. My mind has been weird lately and my adhd has been killing me. Hope you like that 🫶

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

You sighed as you felt your girlfriend’s hands running up and down your now naked legs, getting so close from the part where the fire was coming from. She chuckled at how sensitive you were. Hwasa was barely touching you and you were already losing it. How cute.

It was supposed to be one of your traditional movie nights. It has been almost half a year since you and Hyejin started dating and one of your favorite activities was staying at home, watching movies, maybe drinking some wine, maybe eating some snacks, but all you needed was each others’ company. It was supposed to be just the two of you cuddling and watching the pick of that night, portrait of a lady on fire, she promised you you’d enjoy. She forgot to say how.

She figured out you were a virgin quite a while ago. It wasn't something hard to see to be honest, how you got flushed every time she touched you a bit harder or squeezed your thighs. How you would shudder when she would purposefully run her finger like feathers through your arm or waist. Pores bristling and a hint of tint on your cheeks. It was cute though.

So when a more heated scene between the protagonists started, she felt you fidget in between her legs, a smirk dancing on her lips. Hyejin held your legs in place, squeezing the soft skin and without realizing you left a whine.

“What is it, baby?” she asked, provoking you, hands on your crotch, touching the waistband of your panties. “I can’t guess what you want if you don’t tell me” you whined, hips raising with neediness.

But you couldn’t say anything. Too shy. Too horny. Too needy. All you could do was whine and grab her arms, trying to move them to your core.

“I won’t do anything before you tell me what you want, princess.” she lifted her body to get to your ear, whispering seductively, “How will I know how to fuck you if you don’t tell me? Besides, your consent is key”.

You almost cried when she licked the spot behind your ear to the pulse in your neck. You could feel your panties sticking to your labia, heat pooling the more she provoked you.

You reunited all the strength and bravery you could have inside of you before stuttering the words.

“T-touch… please” she grinned at you.

“Where, my love?”

“Here” you grabbed her hand and put on top of your pantie, immediately feeling the light blue cotton stick to you even more with the weight.

“You want me to touch your pussy?” you nodded eagerly, eyes glossy with need. Hwasa pulled your panties down and you hissed the sudden cold air. “See? Was it that hard?” you nodded and she giggled at you. “Don’t worry, love, I’ll take care of you, ok? I’ll make sure your first time will be perfect”.

You threw your head back because as soon as she finished speaking her finger moved from bottom to top collecting your juices. The sensation of having someone else’s finger in you being almost overwhelming. In the best way possible. She was slow, too slow for your taste. But to say she was as overwhelmed as you as an understatement.

She loved you. Loved you with all her heart. And, for her, to know that you trusted her enough to let her be the first one to make love to you was beyond what her heart could handle.

The first thing Hyejin did was to play with your clit, slowly circling the hardened bud with the tip of two of her fingers. Low moans started to slip past your lips, eyes closed just enjoying the pleasure. Her eyes were fidgeting between looking at your face to see your reactions, so she could not only learn what you liked but admire your pleasured face, and your glistening opening.

The woman replaced her fingers in your clit with her mouth, her name leaving your mouth without a second thought, your hands flying to her hair. Her plump lips sucked harshly on your already very stimulated clit, tongue licking along, making you feel things you never felt before. Your mind was starting to fog up and become blank. You couldn’t think of anything else besides her movements on you. She was feasting out of you like a starved woman, like you were her last meal.

You almost exploded when she inserted her middle finger inside your hole, her long finger reaching places you never had by yourself. You felt that knot that you barely could reach whenever you touched yourself starting to tighten up. So fast. You thought to yourself but the overwhelming delicious experience was almost too much for you.

“C-lose” you stuttered, voice hoarse with how much you had moaned and whined so far. If you kept at this rate you’d not speak the next day.

Hwasa didn’t say anything, she just added another finger to your hole, filling you up with her digits. So so good. She started pumping in and out with such rapidity, the long fingers scissoring and opening your walls. It would hurt if it wasn't for the fact that she kept her mouth on your clit, her left hand had long ago sneaked under your crop shirt to squeeze and pinch your nipple. Pleasure taking over your body, mind going completely blank.

Without a warning you felt the knot finally snapped and you came all over your girlfriend’s face and fingers, the lewd squelching sound coming from under you as she kept fingering and eating you through your high. Your legs were shaking, trembling, closing around her head. But she didn’t seem to care. No. She was loving the pressure around her, your full thighs rubbing against her, your sweaty skin hugging her, invading her senses, her own pussy wet, pulsing around nothing with just the sight of you, her oh so innocent virgin girlfriend being broken, corrupted by her and only her. The power trip she was having was going all the way down to her pussy and she swore she could cum untouched.

“T… Too… mu-” you tried to tell her to stop, but you had no strength left in your body, no voice, no air.

She detached her mouth from your clit and you moaned with the lack of pressure against it.

“I know baby, but I know you can give another one, huh?” she left tiny soft kisses against your thighs, so contrasting to the fierce movements of her finger against your already abused walls. “I love you so much, yn. Thank you for trusting me” you nodded, her words filling your weak brain and going down your pulsing walls. “Cum for me again and I’ll let you rest. Just one more, you’ll see how good you’ll feel”.

It was like her words were magic to you but all her praise and softness got you cuming all over again, the sensation washing you over, your back arching and a louder moan leaving your mouth, her name a mantra in your lips as she ate everything your pussy gave her. If it was anyone else you’d think it was weird, even gross, but she was so hot slurping between your legs.

“Such a good girl for me, so so good” she gave a long lick across your vulva and you shuddered. “God, I could eat you out all night” she chuckled, licking the remains of your juices from her face. “But I need to let my baby girl rest, too much for you, right?” you nodded, eyes zoned out but somehow still focused on her.

Hyejin moved from the place between your legs to your face, lowering herself and kissing you deeply, calmly, lovingly, making you taste yourself against her tongue, the taste making you go dizzy all over again.

“B-babe” you called her, eyes closed with embarrassment. She just hummed, her lips against your neck already. “You…” the words got stuck on your throat. “You didn’t…” she chuckled at your sudden shyness.

“I didn’t what?” her fingertips dancing against your skin, goosebumps rising.

“You didn’t… cum” the last word came as a whisper and she smirked, her eyes becoming impossibly dark and big.

“You want me to cum?” you nodded at her question, cheeks heating up. “But tonight is about you, baby” she moved some stray hairs that were stuck in your face with the sweat.

“But… it’s unfair” she smiled, even completely fucked out, tired and wasted, you thought about her. About her pleasure.

“Let’s go to the bedroom and we’ll both cum, okay?” you nodded eagerly. “Can you stand up?” you tried to get on your feet alone but it was hard, your legs weak. “Did I eat you weak?” She smirked and chuckled at you.

���Shut up” you said under your breath but allowed her to carry you to her bedroom, laying your body on top of the soft mattress. “We should have come here before starting anything” you two laughed a little.

She looked around for something in her wardrobe, finding a box and grabbing something from inside. Your body starting to regain some of its strength but you were sure you were about to lose it again.

When Hyejin turned around you saw a strapon in her hand, the black leather of the belts shining while the purple dildo hung from its front. You also noticed there was another dildo on the inside part. That’s what she meant by both of you cumming.

“I know you’ve never been with anyone before but I also know you’re not a saint yourself” she said, a smug smile on her lips as she was spilling the darkest of your secrets. “Have you ever put a dildo on yourself” you denied.

Which was true, you masturbated, you’re not a prude to that extent, but you only used your fingers, toys were expensive and the only one you had was a little wand you got as a gift from your best friend but it was only used on your clit.

“Do you think you can take it? It’s the smallest in my collection and I know you are too tired to even think about learning how to eat me out today” you laughed at her words, but she was right, you were too tired and your brain still foggy from the previous actions. So that’s what people meant when they said sex is a work out. “We can always stop, baby” she took the loose hairs out of your face and caressed the skin with her fingertips. You could smell yourself in them.

“I want to… I want to go all the way in” you pulled her face to yours and kissed her, breathing in her scent. You were so deeply in love with her that you could jump inside a volcano and still feel like nothing happened as long as she was by your side. “I want you to enjoy this as much as I do”

“My baby, always thinking of me” she smiled at you, giving the tip of your nose a kiss.

“I love you, Hyejin” you said, smile still on your faces. It wasn’t the first time you said that, but every time felt like it.

“I love you too, yn. A lot”.

She left her position on your side on the bed and took her clothes off. You could swear she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her body, her skin, her smile, every curve and indent, every mark and stretch. She was a sight to behold. And you could cum just by seeing her naked. Your mind couldn’t stop but wonder how she would taste, would her pussy taste as sweet as her mouth? Would her breast be as soft on your mouth as they are when you hug?

Your mind was all over her and if you weren’t so fucked out already and wet for the fact she was about to penetrate you for the first time, you’d have thrown her in the bed and begged her to teach you how to please her.

Hwasa moaned a little when the small dildo entered her and you hadn’t even noticed she was with the strap already put on. The last strap being tied up. How could she look even hotter with a fucking purple dildo hanging from her? You could never know her secret. All you knew was that she was yours. All yours. And you were hers.

She squeezed a bit of lube on the dildo, spreading with her hands on the shaft. Your mouth watering with sight.

“Next time I’ll make you gag on it babe,” she took you out of your trance, positioning herself in between your legs, “but for now, I’ll just fuck you good”.

“Please” the plea came low, whiny, a whisper of wind from your lungs as you waited for her action.

The woman just smirked and positioned the tip of the small dildo against your entrance. You sucked a breath but nodded for her anyways, ready for it. Her right hand started to play with your clit while the left one guided the shaft inside of you.

It burned. But not like fire was on your skin. More like your entire body was inside this box filled with Hyejin naked and sweaty with her dildo hanging high from her legs as she moaned your name. It felt so good having her guide you through this. You were more than ready to give it all to her and receive everything she had to give it to you.

It wasn’t hard for her to bottom out the strap, your wet walls and the lube helped a lot, not only that by the fact you were extremely relaxed and comfortable with her.

It didn’t take much for her to start moving, your moans mixing with each other. Every thrust she gave into you, the smaller dildo inside of her angled just right and the hard leather rubbed against her enlarged clit. She was so deprived and so edged from all your little teasing and games for the past weeks that it didn’t take much for her to come undone before you.

Her bouncing boobs were a sight and you couldn’t help just to grab her body and bring closer to you so you could suck on her nipples and leave love bites all around them. The salty taste of the sweat on her skin making you even dizzier and hornier.

The knowing knot started to form on your stomach, feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stimulations your senses were having.

“H-Jin…” her name hiccuping from your lips as you tried to warn her between the lewd moans leavin your lips.

“I know baby, I’m close again too” she answered, her hips starting to move faster, and she pulled your leg to rest higher on her hip, the new angle having the top of her dildo hitting places you didn’t even know you had inside of you. “Cum for me and I’ll for you again. Give me all you got. Wet my cock, baby, make a mess out of us” you clenched hard against the silicon and you wished she could feel that.

She managed to go even faster, her hips pistoling against yours. Your moans becoming screams as she hits just the right spot inside of you, the leather overstimulating your abused clit. And you came undone around the toy. Walls squeezing it as your juices mixed with the lube almost spilled from you. The sound of wet pussy filling up the room.

Hyejin gave a few more thrusts before coming herself. Legs shaking a little and making her almost lose balance on top of you.

She took a moment to regain her conscience and took the toy out of you, the sudden feeling of emptiness that everyone talked about suddenly hitting you. She threw the toys inside the empty tub in her bathroom, she was going to deal with that later. Your girlfriend came back with a damp cloth to clean you up and herself a little before returning to lay by your side on the bed.

The woman immediately grabbed your waist and brought you against her chest, the comfortable silence filling the place. You were sore and tired but also extremely happy.

“What’s inside that head of yours?” She asked, noticing how quiet you were.

“Nothing, just tired. And happy that you are my girlfriend and my lover and best friend and my first time” you looked up to her and caught a glimpse of her cheeks becoming tinted.

“Thank you for trusting me”

“Nah, thank you for being my perfect girlfriend and making me feel safe and comfortable” you rubbed the tip of your nose against hers before leaving a peck against her lips. “I love you, Jin-ah”

“I love you too, yn”

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Masterlist | asks & feedback

[alcoholfreenayeon]

MAMAMOO

Fluff Smut Angst

OT4

Solar

What are we?

Moonbyul

Girlfriend Headcanon

Wheein

Girlfriend Headcanon

Hwasa

Starry Night

[brainddeadd]

Smut Scenarios

Send a request with the an idol and a prompt you want me to write.

I write for: stray kids, ateez, bts, blackpink, monsta x, do hanse, seventeen, hwasa, the boyz, one piece, one piece live action.

I'm happy to take requests for other artists and give it a go!

Feel free to add any specifics you have in mind for the prompt/idol.

1) mirror sex

2) sex in front of a big window where anyone could glance up and spot them

3) fully clothed x stark naked

4) slow sex while one or both are injured (bonus points if it’s after a battle or after they’ve patched up each other’s wounds)

5) body worshipping 

6) marathon session (they just fucking keep going, babyyyy) -> jungkook

7) finding a somewhat private area at a fancy party to fuck (coat closet, empty office, secluded corner on the big balcony, hedge maze if we wanna get dramatic, etc) 

8) oops, we were just hiding in this closet, but then the close proximity get us too turned on not to fuck

9) revenge sex

10) finding their partner’s sex toy/toys and making them play with it in front of them

11) quickie where you don’t take any clothes off, just tug and pull and expose the essentials 

12) fucking, but one is still trying to keep all of their attention on the game they are playing

13) getting a little too handsy on the dancefloor

14) library sex for those dark academia vibes

15) jealous sex in the alleyway behind the bar

16) accidental i love you’s during sex 

17) seeing the love marks they left on their partner later and getting turned on all over again remember how it got there in the first place

18) a/b/o

19) getting turned on by their partner’s new uniform for work and then roleplaying a bit

20) sleepy domestic sex

[boyfhee]

im still new to kpop so im not sure how the collab stuff works. but do the boys not have any influence on who they collab with? or is that solely the company's doing?

i can't give a set answer here because i'm not sure, but personally, i think it depends largely on the relationship between the group and the management. there are many examples where artists and their managements work hand in hand ( my best example would be hwasa ) and we can also see scenarios where they don't with the company driving the whole thing around. with enha, judging from their prev collabs, i hardly believe the boys have any say in it ( bc i don't see any artist who would choose to sing kids songs on their own accord unless they're associated with such shows or projects )

besides the whole "do you want to collab with ___?" scenario sounds kind of unreal because a collab is not something you pull out of the ground one random wednesday. sure, things might be different in western media but we're talking about korean agencies and we all know how premediated things are for the artists. i am not saying idols don't have freedom to choose and make decisions regarding their own profession, but bella wouldn't have been in the picture if hybe wasn't getting anything in return, and whatever may be the reason, a little background check wouldn't have cost anyone millions

[black-pink-soul]

https://twitter.com/dailynaver/status/1666825815839985664?t=gxx40bXRvSJY33hQ7ZHclA&s=19

There are so many articles like this at different sites...like I never thought that this will happen to Jennie. She doesn't deserve this. Even if she's worst actress with worst taste and wrong choices...she's a person. They act like she was in porn, like they ruined everything for her. I believe in Korea they stop giving her brand deals and photoshoots after this. Like so many other idols move provocative on stage like sunmi hyna hwasa and boy group members too but look what they made with jennie for that...its crazy awful and ik really worried about her and her mental health. The weekend happily touring and no one starts witch hunt and Jennie who praised Sam Levinson for his previous work Euphoria (almost every one praise him and I didn't see Zendaya received hate for her dragaddict role) and she's have only her version of scenario like every actor...they called her slut and rapists supporter🤦‍♀️ im sad and omg...i just hope yg didn't pull her out if company now, because they did everything I mean nothing to support her or protect. And I just hope that girls will stay by her side. Right now she need someone to be always near.

When Cannes invite her everyone praise her and now...i just cant believe this article is real and comment with more then 500 likes...🤦‍♀️

Please support Jennie as you can and report every awful comment. As person you can judge someone wrong words or wrong choice but you have no rights call young women slut and mention porn only because she's emotionally dance with two guys 30 seconds episode.