#How to Pick an Over 50 Haircut

[guardianlegends64]

[Closed RP/ Halloween Specialty] Alternate universe/Love Life in “The Story of the Demon King’s First Love ”

In the Fiery and Dangerous and Deadly depths and pits of Hell The place where demons wonder and The Souls of The sinned wither there the Castle and The Throne of the King of Hell who ruled hell for Centuries for being the Absolute Ruler of all… “The True Demon King”

As the King was getting very irritated because there wasn’t anything that was fresh or new and he was getting upset as the Demon King Has Never become so upset In Centuries and he wondered how long has it been since he last visited the Living world as he thought it would be a Good idea to Visit the living World as he made a Decision on going there with his to see if anything has changed…

The Demon King has a Human Form in which he Choose to always Use in hell because it was much more better appearance than his demon king Form…though Many Of the Other Demon Kings and Queens Do Not Agree with him in this appearance The Demon King doesn’t Care About their Agreements because He can change his appearance whenever he wants to…

The Human Form appearance for the Demon King is that he Has White Straight Haircut Hair and Has Red Eyes and American skin and Has a American Voice with a British Accent and though in his Demon Form His Age is Quite Different so in his Human Form Age he is 50 years old and has the height of a Tree [13 ft] tall and has impressive strength and speed and Healing and even has Black Knight Armor that is Incredibly Durable…

Though some demons, Kings, and Queens Call the Demon King’s Armor the “Shi No Kishi” As The Knight of Death in Japanese because of its dark Black Color and It’s Dark menacing Aura that those who see and or witness the Armor are afraid of Death itself… Although The demon King Will only use His armor when there is Trouble he once Used His armor in the Demon war and Won the battle Without a scratch because of its menacing appearance…

After Hours of Boredom and Silence and nothing to do and Nothing Interesting The Demon King made a Risky decision to visit the Living world To See if Everything has changed after Centuries and Centuries has Passed…

“I Will Be Visiting the Living world I will be back If The Living world has never changed which means I will be back in a Month if I am not back by then I am still Observing do not Make any changes when I’m there or else…”

The Demon King Announced to Across hell As every Demon of hell Heard his Announcement and they all Pledge not to make any mistakes or to do any wrong that would change hell…

As the Demon King Uses his Demonic Teleportation to get to The Living World he Sees that The Living World has now definitely changed after years and years of Being King of Hell the demon King Has Never had the chance or opportunity to Visit the living world…

The Demon King was in his Human form wearing Casual Clothing which was a Black Buttoned shirt and Black Pants and Casual shoes as he was in some sort of City that he doesn’t recognize…as other humans are wearing different clothes and there were big different buildings and technology that were different and Grass and trees all over

“The living world is a lot more Different than I last visited here…”

As the demon King said as he continues to walk and Notices that the Year and Day is [2024, Sep 30, Monday, Nighttime] Which says on a Mail article as the demon king is confused by how fast humans change their lives after centuries long… and his Thinking on if they have changed their ways…

As the demon King Continues to explore he was prepared as he Had Ginormous amounts of wealth, a Ginormous luxurious house and many vehicles..

The Demon King didn’t realize but he was in Los Angeles, California as he Keeps exploring The Demon King while in his Human Form Has The Scent of Cinnamon and Vanilla and Mint…

He enters some sort of building in which is a Bar in which the demon king sits down and orders a drink as he picks a Whiskey although the demon king cannot get drunk because of his regeneration but he orders the drink anyways because it reminded him of his Father who gave the position to his son as he Then Realizes someone trying to sin on the Innocent as the king knows that he is the devil but he has to do something about it as He intervenes and punishes the Sinned as he reveals their Most hateful nightmares that are now permanent to the sinned to now see in their own souls in which is seared into their hearts in which cannot be taken away and he now knows that humans have never changed their ways as he pays the drink with a coin that Has ginormous value that the demon king has endless amounts as the bartender accepts the payment…

The demon King then continues to walk as he Sees someone who is Arguing with Two other men who they try to threaten and humiliate and even harm the lady as The Demon King Intervenes…

“You Two Pathetic Piles of Meat should leave the Young Lady Here and right now or else you will need a Doctor who can Fix Shattered Bones and Bones that are already broken beyond repair and Will and pride that will be unable to be repaired or to be brought back you two Shameless Bugs aren’t even Top Tier Dogs or Hounds just pathetic and disgusting Packs Of Shit now if you two want to waste anymore of my fucking time I suggest you two leave and don’t even bother talking or threaten or harm this Innocent Young woman here…”

He Said Growling silently as they leave Scoffed as he The Demon King checks on the young Lady as he Notices that she Has some very mystical eye Colors and even smiled a bit…

“Are You alright Miss..?” *He asks the Young lady with the mystical eyes even though in his Human form No one can actually Find out that he’s the demon king even Celestial beings or Gods and goddesses*

“his power and strength and soul are Like Immortally limitless nothing like any other demon can ever have though the demon king’s Human form isn’t Immortal though he is very much menacing and Not someone that to mess around with… countless Battles…Wars… Bloodshed and death and destruction the demon king has Learned many and many things from the past and even seen them as well as he isn’t afraid to show or share them to those who have sinned and who have Betrayed their love ones for Greed, Power, Control, and eventually Love as well as Abusive Actions and Manipulation Actions that are never forgotten and never passed in front of the demon king’s eyes and gaze… the demon king is never afraid to fight he is never afraid to show how he destroys and crush and tear apart those who have sinned just for their own goals… and now he’s in the living world to Observe how humanity has changed over time… will he show humanity that they should have changed their ways or not… or… something that those regret to have Chosen..?”

[reiderwriter]

Unhappy Holidays

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're unlucky enough to run into Spencer Reid at holiday celebrations four years in a row. In the New Year, you're resolving to rid him from your mind forever, but you never were one to stick to resolutions 👻🦃🎄🎆

Warnings: SMUT 18+ minors dni, enemies to lovers, low-key work rivals, semi-public sex, car sex, hate sex, fingering, thigh riding, creampie, unprotected sex (no condoms but contraceptive mentioned), slight spoilers for s4 of Criminal Minds (but not really).

Prompt Request: #50"You're so fucking obsessed with me.” #82"Really? Because your pussy is saying something different, sweetheart.” #93"Use my thigh. You've been staring at it all night anyway.”

A/N: This is my first submission for @imagining-in-the-margins November/December Office Party writing challenge! I'm sorry I've been so busy recently, but the holiday season really does take a lot of effort to get through at work lmao. Hopefully, I'll be able to post more over my vacation! For now, enjoy some very unserious smut~♡ (as if I write any other kind).

Here's a link to my masterlist, where you can find all my work!~☆

Working with the FBI was no walk in the park, which, from your desk at the opposite corner of the bullpen, Spencer Reid sure made it look like.

Working on adjacent teams for the last three years had become gradually infuriating. You were forever in the man's orbit, stuck dealing with the other women on your team sat giggling about him and his many stupid haircuts, and wondering just how far you'd fallen to have to stare at his stupid face 5 days a week.

If you were unlucky. His team did happen to be out on cases a lot more, whereas yours handled correspondence and consulting cases, a cushy and safe job.

It annoyed you to no end that you had multiple field-based qualifications, extensive fire arms training and were top of your class at the academy only to be relegated yo desk duty whilst boy wonder with his doctorates was allowed to trip over his own feet catching actual killers.

Other people wondered where your dislike of the man sprang from, and you could only let out a disgruntled squeak and tell them your horror stories.

A few months into your job, your been fresh faced and bushy tailed or however that saying goes, and overly eager to take any assignment that came your way. Even if the assignment was baby-sitting an injured Doctor Spencer Reid. He'd been shot whilst out on a case whilst trying to talk down an unsub, and you'd jumped at the chance to get to know him.

He was an office legend, of course, though those days it was more for his characteristic lack of social graces rather than the beauty he'd grown into. You'd been so eager to get to pick his brains, find out how he'd managed to score the position on the BAU at such an early age.

Reality had hit you square in the face when he'd spent a week ignoring you, making you run around like a headless chicken searching for hard copies of documents the FBI had digitised a millennia ago, and hadn't so much as spared you a glance.

The straw that broke the camel's back came as you were running back to him triumphant with a document he'd requested eight hours before and had let yourself into Penelope Garcia’s office quietly, only to hear him bad mouthing you.

“She makes me uncomfortable. I've had her out searching for useless files all day because I don't know what to do with her.”

“She's trying to help, Spencer, it's her job right now, cut her some slack.”

“Her job is currently getting in the way of mine. I even tried writing my own doctor's note so I could get rid of her, but Hotch wouldn't allow it.”

You'd dropped the file loudly on the table, watched the two spin around with horrified looks and turned silently and left the room.

He hadn't once tried to find you after that, and you let your apprenticeship under Doctor Reid quietly fizzle out as you got back to your regular work.

Your resentment still burned though.

Each time you'd been caught in the same elevator with him, you'd ignored him to an almost insane degree, enjoying the way he squirmed and tried to make small talk.

You'd been in contact with JJ and his Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner as well, through cases you'd recommended, but always maintained your cold shoulder.

The one place you could not ignore him, however, was a Penelope Garcia party.

After you'd slammed the file down on her desk, Penelope had guiltily sent you a gift basket filled with sweet treats and books, and had hounded you for a week to make sure your feelings weren't too damaged by her friend's stupidity.

You actually liked her, and found at least one silver lining to the storm that was Spencer Reid ripping through your life.

In the three years since the “incident,” you'd found yourself at three parties where Penelope in all of her heartwarming ways had tried her best to force a reconciliation between the two of you, to disastrous results.

The first was a Halloween party, and you'd been incredibly proud of your Princess Laia costume when you'd arrived. Only until you'd gone to the kitchen to top up your drink to hear Spencer Reid boring some guest or the other about how Star Trek was more advanced, and had a richer plot line.

Penelope had stepped into the kitchen just as he'd caught a glimpse of your (rather skimpy) outfit - yes, you'd chosen swimsuit Laia, yes, you were going to own it - and had immediately jumped into introductions, as if you weren't already intimately acquainted.

“Spencer! This is Y/N! She loves Halloween, too, she makes all of her costumes. You guys should talk.” She'd led the other guest away and left you there with Spencer as you'd awkwardly looked upon his own costume.

“Are you the Tenth Doctor?” You asked begrudgingly, noting his pin-striped suit and the shorter hairstyle he'd chosen.

“Are you a fan? I prefer the original show run more than the current stuff, but David Tennant has really been doing a wonderful-”

“I'm sorry, let me stop you there. I don't watch Doctor Who. I guess I prefer something with a… How should I say, richer plot?”

He'd snapped his mouth shut and didn't have chance to open it again before you turned dramatically and walked away from him.

The second party you'd been cornered into was just over a year later.

Having been stuck in the office over Halloween, Penelope was determined to get in one last celebration before Christmas steam-rolled every other holiday, and thus you'd been invited to her single-people-only-friendsgiving-potluck, and you'd found yourself having to navigate knocking on her door with a casserole dish in your hands.

Luckily a large hand had appeared from behind you and knocked on the door for you. Unfortunately, the sudden shock from the silent appearance of a man right behind you startled you so much that the dish fell straight from your hands anyway.

Penelope opened her door upon hearing the crash and you whirled on your would-be attacker.

It was Spencer again, eyes round in shock, hand still curled into a fist.

You took a calming breath as you gathered yourself, trying not to bite his head off. You wanted to scream and shout and rip his head out but you didn't, instead letting the fury drip into your voice as you finally opened your eyes again.

“That dish took me four fucking hours to make.” You huffed in anger once more as Penelope guided you into the apartment and poured you a glass of wine before you moved back to the entry hall to clean it up again.

Needless to say he didn't care to converse with you after that.

A few small parties in between had been blissfully Spencer-less and you'd lulled yourself into a false sense of security. That's when you accepted the Christmas party invitation.

As one of the unlucky few members of the FBI who had to stay out over christmas in case of some emergency or the other, you'd been grounded in Virginia, unable to travel home for the holidays. So Penelope Garcia's singles-only-Christmas-fun-time-Party was your last ditch effort to spend the holidays actually resting and eating good food.

Learning from last time, Penelope reassured you that there was no potluck, that she had prepared all the food herself, and all you'd need were a bottle of wine and a willingness to party.

You'd taken those recommendations as law and had immediately let yourself into a glass of mulled wine as you arrived, and - noticing that the party was Reid-free - had allowed it to raise your Christmas spirits slightly more than you usually would.

By hour two of the event, you were full of yuletide joy and swaying freely along to the tune of Silent Night.

Spencer’s late entrance really would have gone unnoticed by you had you not bumped face first into his chest as you spun yourself around in your dance, his hands quickly falling to your hips to steady you.

The few moments it took you to gather yourself were about as long as you needed to realised that he'd caught you in his arms underneath the mistletoe. And with your mind fogged by mulled-whatever-it-was-Penelope-mixed-into-that-punch, the part of your brain that objected to the very existence of Spencer Reid went silent, and the incredibly tiny and somewhat damaged part of your brain that instead saw him as attractive started shouting loud instructions.

Before your common sense could return, you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss the very warm, very close man holding you upright.

“Mistletoe,” you muttered as you clawed his arms off of you and took yourself straight to Penelope's bathroom to throw up.

So yes, your acquaintance with Spencer Reid had never been good, and you were perfectly fine with resenting him from afar, privately.

With three years of bad experiences under your belt, you weren't excited at completing your yearly tradition of horrendous interaction. Which is perhaps why you immediately and loudly protested Penelope’s New Years Eve party invitation.

“Y/N, it's a party. What's the worst that can happen?” She pleaded as she followed you down the corridors of the office building.

“I could see Spencer Reid. I could be forced to converse with Spencer Reid. I could get absolutely wasted and kiss Spencer Reid. There, three options, please accept my resignation from partying.”

“Y/N we both know you don't drink anymore, so at least one of those is unlikely to happen. And Spencer might not even come, he has tickets for an indie theatre from 6pm onwards, they're playing some Russian movie from the 60s that's like 4 hours long or something. So u retire yourself and tell me you'll come?” She had to take three or four steps for each of your own, not that you were so different in height but because you were practically marching in order to avoid the topic.

But you finally stopped and let out a sigh as you turned back to Penelope who stopped just before she ran into you.

“You're sure he won't be there?”

“I'm sure he RSVP’d no.”

“Fine. But I'm not drinking and I will still be expecting the Penelope Garcia virgin punch experience.”

“Bring the party poppers and you have a deal.”

“Done.”

–X–

Over the week since you'd accepted the invitation, you'd made peace with it. For the most part, you did love a Penelope Garcia production. There was something wonderful about your friend and her ability to brighten anyone's mood, an ability that was only heightened at holidays. She was like a glittered goddess gaining power when worshippers used her altar, except the altar was her house and the worship was a range of hallmark-induced holidays.

You arrived at the party at 10pm, and though that was the start time you'd been given, you weren't surprised to see a full house of Penelope’s team mates already in attendance. Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss sat spread across the sofa in the living room area, and you noticed a few techie friends also grabbing drinks and chatting.

“Y/N, I'm so glad you're here! You remember everyone on the team, right?” She pulled you into a hug and then sat you down in the middle of the group, waiting for you to mingle and become comfortable before she ran off to more hostess duties.

“Of course, nice to see you guys.” You grabbed your promised punch and sat back comfortably, striking up a conversation with Emily about how bleak the dating scene had been recently.

“It seems like all the men around me are jackasses,” Emily muttered and you giggled along.

“I'm wounded,” Morgan shot back, a hand pressed to his chest in faux pain.

“Good. You're like a lion out there in the clubs stalking gazelles, it's like watching a nature documentary when you're out there.”

You almost snorted your entire drink up your nose as Emily finished, needing to compose yourself for a second.

“I guess the men on our team aren't great with romance,” JJ laughed and took a swing. “Hotch and Rossi have four divorces between them, and Derek here is a lost cause.”

“Our only hope is young Spencer. May he grow into a respectful young gentleman and break out curse,” Emily toasted.

“Oh that ship has sailed,” your laugh this time was bitter, your mood immediately growing sour with even the smallest mention of Spencer Reid.

“Ah, Penelope mentioned you had a problem with our boy wonder. Care to share?”

You opened your mouth to give your standard non-answer and move the conversation along, but you were interrupted.

“Yes, Y/N, care to share? I am slightly curious about that as well.” You turned around and there he was, and your stomach turned in disgust.

Just one time, just one party. You'd been having fun, and here he was to ruin it.

“What are you doing here?” you gaped up at him, unsurprised to see him still decked out in sweater vest and slacks even in his down time.

“I was invited.”

“You declined, Penelope said you had movie tickets.”

“Ticket, singular. And it was cancelled so here I am. What's your problem with me, Y/N?” His jaw clenched and he grabbed the back of your chair and leaned down. It was supposed to be intimidating, but you rolled your eyes. When he looked that attractive, veins in his arms popping out of the sleeves he'd pulled up, you couldn't see him as intimidating. His arms were distracting yes, but God that was nothing compared to his thighs. His pants were tight, and you thanked whatever Clueless tailor had sewn them, because you now allowed yourself a momentary lapse to enjoy the appearance of his lower body.

You tried to shake the thought of his attractiveness from your mind, reminding yourself where you were and in what company.

“I don't think I need to answer that. I think I'll enjoy holding it over your head instead,” you said, standing up and beginning to gather your things.

“Wait, Y/N, where are you going? New Year isn't for another 30 minutes.” Penelope scrambled over and grabbed your hand, pleading with you to stay.

“I'm sorry Pen, but there's just this very annoying bug buzzing around me, and I think I need to get away from it.” You said your goodbyes and excused yourself from the party, happy to have walked away relatively undamaged.

Fate had other plans, and as you stepped out of the apartment building ready to walk yourself home, a hand caught yours from behind as a voice chased you.

“Y/N, wait. I'll go. You go back inside.”

“And return with my tail tucked between my legs after making a grand exit? I'll pass, thanks boy genius.” You shook yourself from his grasp and made to walk away again, but he quickly matched your pace and stepped into your path, cutting you off.

“I can't let you walk home. It's like 40° out here, and your coat is more style than substance.”

“Get into a car with a stranger? I'm sure you of all people know how stupid that sounds.” You stuck a finger out and poked his chest, but he grabbed your hand and held it in place as he spat out his next words.

“I'm not a stranger, I'm the man you're obsessed with, Y/N. Big difference.” You laughed, mostly in shock at his indignance, but he stared at your face as serious as could be.

“Me? Obsessed with you? I'm not the one who followed a woman they're barely acquainted with out of a party filled with all of my friends. Sounds like you're projecting, Spencer.”

“Am I?” He questioned, stepping closer and grabbing your hip as he continued his questioning. “I wasn't the one who was sat there talking about me with all of my colleagues.”

“Well, I wasn't the one who turned up to a party I'd declined an invitation to.”

He was imperceptibly close now, hand gripping your hip so tight you wondered if it'd leave you with a mark.

“I certainly was not the one who initiated a kiss last year, Y/N. You need to face the facts, you're so fucking obsessed with me.” If his hands had you feeling dizzy, his words were completely knocking the sense out of you. Suddenly you returned to the person you'd been under that Mistletoe, and everything from his closeness to the rough edge to his voice begged you to do it once again.

“Go fuck yourself,” was about all the words you could manage as he finally let his lips fall down and crush into your own.

You should've pushed him away, but instead your traitorous body wanted to prove his point, opening up for him faster than you'd opened up to anyone else before.

His tongue flicked against your lips and you gladly let him explore your mouth, opening up to tangle your tongue with his.

He tasted sweet, like the punch Penelope had handed you earlier, only now you wondered if someone had accidentally laced it with how free you were being with your affections.

He resurfaced for air, but you didn't care if there was nothing in your lungs at all if it meant that his lips would engage your own in battle once again.

“Look how much you want me,” he smirked. “Look how needy you are after a single kiss, chasing my lips like that.”

“You and your big fucking mouth. I wish you'd shut up once in a while.”

“I'll make it my new year’s resolution.” His lips joined your own again, and you clashed hard, exploring as much as you could muster as he pulled you in the direction of his car.

“I'm not driving… home… with you,” you growled between kisses, trying not to put your teeth to his neck and bite down hard. You're not sure if that impulse was a murderous one or a kinky one.

“I'm not putting you in the front seat, Y/N, I'm putting you in the back. You should be familiar with the idea.”

Heat sparked between your legs, and you allowed yourself to be manhandled into the beat-up trash heap of a car.

He'd not taken his hands off you as he got you in, pushing himself in first and then pulling you by the hand that you'd unconsciously gripped hard. You immediately straddled his hips, skirt naturally riding up in the process. He noticed and looked curiously down at you, growling as you pressed your lips against his neck and grabbed you instead by the hair gathered in a ponytail at the back of your head.

“See, you're obsessed with me. Just admit it.” Without breaking eye contact, he dug his fingers into the material of your tights and pulled in opposite directions, leaving your underwear exposed to his wandering eyes.

“I'm not obsessed with you,” your voice needed conviction to land, but it came out as a lusty whisper, especially as he slipped his fingers inside your underwear and finally touched your aching cunt.

“Really? Because your pussy is saying something else, Princess.” He found your clit faster than you'd ever expected, rubbing slow circles into your skin as you began rocking your hips back and forth.

It was becoming hard to disagree with him, with each flick of wrist growing the heat between your legs. You attacked his neck again, hands practically ripping at his top buttons so you could muffle the sounds of your arousal against his neck, collarbone, chest, any stretch of that pale skin available to you.

He forced your hips to a stop with one hand as he slipped a single digit inside of your hole, gathering your arousal as he set a steady pace, thumb keeping your bundle of nerves occupied.

“Listen, Y/N, can you hear that?”

“I can't h-hear anything.” You had to grind your teeth together to get the words out with minimal interruptions of moans bursting from the pit of your stomach.

He leaned in close to your ear, nuzzling your neck and placing chaste kisses up towards your ear, finally pulling away just enough to whisper a single word in your ear.

“Liar.”

His hand stilled and pulled off you quickly and your eyes broke open, hands unconsciously fitting into his shirt as if you were worried he was going to leave you there like this, on the edge of pleasure but still so far away.

“Use my thigh. You've been staring at it all night anyway.”

“Jackass. You've only been here for like 20 minutes.”

“You can climb right out of this car if you want to, Y/N.” He tried to keep his tone light, but the death grip he had on your thighs, the very obvious tent pitched in his pants and the way his eyes couldn't go five seconds without undressing you told you you had more power in this interaction than he wanted to give you.

There was no way either of you were letting the other go unused tonight.

You relaxed your grip on his shirt and shifted your weight to one of his thighs. Lithe he may be, but lowering yourself down there was an unexpected strength there. He watched on curiously as you rocked experimentally against him. Back and forth you rocked, trying desperately to keep up his momentum or tempt him to help you out again.

It was time to let your voice back out, and you did, moaning without a care as you hummed his leg like a bitch in heat.

“You're enjoying this lot, huh, Y/N,” he muttered, and you watched as his hand worked his pants zip open, removing one of the barriers in the way between the two of you, as he began palming himself.

“What's that saying? Anything you can do, I can do better?” He growled at that response but didn't stop you. Instead he bought a hand down on your ass as you moved, so hard you jolted at the sudden pain. Your eyes shot open as your hips stilled, but you felt warmth grow between your legs.

“Yes, you definitely enjoyed that. Should I do that again, or do you think we should hurry this up and go back up for the countdown?”

You hesitated only a second before you pushed his hand off his lap, shifting your hips further towards his knees before letting your hand reach for where his had just been.

You didn't let yourself think about how big he was as you pulled his cock free, didn't let yourself wonder how he measured up against anyone you'd been with before. You didn't let yourself waste time thinking about how various office rumours were true, and definitely not a second was wasted feeling jealous about how those rumours were spread in the first place.

Instead you simply slammed your lips back against his, mouth opening to let your tongue engage his as you lifted your hips with his help and lowered yourself down on him.

You didn't have to rid yourself of sinful thoughts after that as he purged every single brain cell from your head, filling you so contently that there was simply no space for anything but him.

You locked up on top of him, clawing at his shoulders as you whimpered at the stretched, falling so he was balls deep inside you. You wanted to move, to use him for your pleasure, but your walls tightened every time you even thought about it as he stroked your hair through it all.

It had been some time since you'd last had a sexual partner, and you needed the few minutes to overcome the first uncomfortable bliss of it all.

“That good?” he whispered, but the harsh tone of earlier was gone, replaced only by unsure humour to break the silence.

“Been a while.” He nodded, kissing you again to distraction as he shifted your positions.

Cradling your neck and securing your legs comfortably around him, he lowered you against the backseat, pulling out slightly as you adjusted to the new angle.

“Better?” You nodded quickly, because it was. There was no more pressure on your legs, and despite the cramped space in the car, you had enough space to lie almost flat.

“Yes… thank you.” Just as his cutting tone had escaped him, you also heard your own tone softening, the sigh of contentment slipping past your lips almost sweet. Almost.

“Are you going to fuck me now, or what?”

He let out a shocked laugh, but lent down to shut you up with a kiss nonetheless. Bracing himself against the car door, his hips softly rocked into you, pace increasing until you were back to the edge of cumming, nails pressed hard into his skin until you were sure he was going to complain.

He didn't though, but kept up his thrusts, until your vision suddenly darkened and stars exploded in them, rolled back in your head as they were.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, where should I…?” He panicked, but you wrapped your legs around him, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him down to swallow his moan as he shot his load inside of you.

“Birth control.” You whispered when you finally let him go, gasping for air. “Contraceptive pill. No need to get the car dirty.”

He collapsed on top of you then, forehead resting against your own as you both caught your breaths.

The moment was silent, and you found the synchronicity of your breaths almost calming. Eventually you had to break apart, and he helped you up to a sitting position, but didn't break eye contact as fell back into his lap.

His hands stroked your back, dipping to your ass at times, but he didn't talk. Neither of you did.

The eye contact between the two of you was possibly the most pleasant conversation you'd ever had.

“I'm sorry.” He blurted, just as fireworks erupted into the night sky. Your heart shook, and you weren't sure of it was the shock of the sound, or the way the rainbow of lights illuminated his sincere expression.

“You don't have to apologise for cumming in me, Spencer.”

“Not that. Before. The casserole and the mistletoe, and the Halloween costume.”

“Wow. Um, okay. Apology accepted, I guess, though I'm not entirely sure why you're apologising now.”

He took a deep breath just as another set of fireworks went up.

“I pulled you under the mistletoe. It was Penelope’s idea, she knew how stupid I was being around you and sent me over. I saw it and took the chance.”

“Fuck. Why?”

“Because I was pretty useless at being chivalrous the year before.”

You climbed off his lap in a scramble and sat on the seat beside him, mind racing, trying to figure out where the hell he was going with this.

He turned to you, trying to keep your attention as he stumbled over the words.

“You couldn't knock on the door, so I wanted to help you, but I didn't think I'd scare you so much you'd drop it.”

“You didn't scare me it was a momentary lapse in my observational skills.”

“You shrieked,” a smile threatened to pull his lips up, they twitched as you flushed red.

“And Halloween?” You looked at him again now, trying to figure out what the hell was going on between the two of you.

“You refused to look at me for a year after we stopped working together,” he shrugged quickly running a hand through his hair and expelling a breath. “I don’t really know how to talk to women.”

“You just know how to piss them off?”

“Morgan says it comes naturally.”

“Yeah, well, Morgan is very wise.”

A brief silence stretched between you, or as silent as a night full of cracks, pops, whizzes and bangs could be.

“I don't get it. You tried your best to get rid of me when I was there to help you. I wanted to impress you, and you kept sending me on meaningless errands, and now you're saying what? You wanted my attention?” There was a quiet anger to your voice, but you were surprised to find it diminished and tired.

“I wanted you gone because you were distracting me, Y/N, not because I hated you.”

“Well, what's the difference, Doctor Reid? Please indulge me.” You huffed a little but kept your eyes on him, trying not to seem too desperate for his answer.

“I have an IQ of 187. Emily says when I'm around a pretty girl it's more like 52,” he fidgeted with his pants, forcing the words out.

“You're a pretty girl. We had a case to work and all I could think about was how to get you to like me. Hotch chewed me out like three separate times for being absent minded.”

He was looking anywhere but you, trying his best not to appear like a fool but you were locked onto him.

“Oh my god you're an idiot.”

“When you're around, yes.”

“And that means I'm equally stupid.”

“No, you just jump to conclusions and hold grudges. There wasn't anything really that stupid about your actions, though it could be suggested that not thoroughly thinking through the wording of the conversation you overheard-”

You cut him off with a kiss, pulling him down again mlby his tie.

“Oh my god, shut up,” you whispered as you broke apart.

“Does that mean we can do this again? Because I'd like to do this again?”

“Stop talking, start kissing jackass.”

He finally didn't argue with that, pulling you back into him as you sat under the stars in his car welcoming the new year.

[moonshynecybin]

thinking about how rosquez age gap dynamic would change post reconciliation but not now but in like 5-10 years. we all know how vale is about his age so he would be “i’m old maybe marc deserves someone younger more fun and his age” but he would never say that just joke it off like he always does when talking about his age. and marc having a very nothing new by taylor swift complex “will you still want me when i’m nothing new?”, he’s probably retired and thinking “does valentino still thinks i’m cool? he met me when i was in my prime twink era what if he sees im not like that anymore”

YAYYYYY i think theyre BOTH WEIRD ABOUT IT yayyyyyy. okay so. the thing about being a professional athlete is that while you are young and shiny it feels like you will be young and shiny FOREVER ! and then the horrors. and then you turn thirty. and then everyone around you is ten years younger and their body works correctly and they pick up on the stuff YOU pioneered and the press is talking about you like youre a HORSE that they want to sent to the GLUE FACTORY. so i imagine. that those influences can give you somewhat of a complex about your age. i think vale (company is dominated by young twinks comma. clown.) and marc (arm pain boy comma. got a haircut specifically to look younger right before visiting a track he has historically dominated at.) are not in fact immune to this. especially because marc was essentially the move over old man signal to vale in many ways. like imagine your bf is a physical reminder that you no longer can do what you used to be able to do in a sport that is and was your life's work. ouegh.

SO ! POST REUNION ! if its like vale in his 50s marc in his mid to late thirties, staring down his time in the sport coming to an end. a transitionary period then yeah. they think about it. i think MARC is actually a lot more keyed up about this specifically bc vale frankly had to work that out a bit ago. and he does still lowkey think hes god lbr. marc ALSO has an ego the size of the sun but i think it honestly really distresses him a bit more when his body is malfunctioning. maybe i just think that bc hes cried on camera about it multiple times while vale simply changes the subject but i DIGRESS. my barbie dolls shh. marc get a little in his head about it ! tries to fix it by doing crazy shit like getting bad haircuts and buying a stupid amount of moisturizer. new lingerie. i would say he does more crazy and spontaneous activities but he loves adrenaline so bad i fear he's kinda already doing that.... BUT. he's also doing stuff like not letting vale in on his PT appointments.... pretending he's the same as when he was twenty and it was EASY and he didn't have to figure out who he was after motogp because he was the youngest rookie to do x y and z so he should be able to do this FOREVER. and it think he holds his ability to WIN so close to himself.... a measure of how well his life is going fr.... like the last time he couldn't win were 2015 (when vale LEFT HIM) and 2020 to present (ARMMMMM). hes buggin

and i think vale eventually notices and is like oh my god whta. dude HUH ? truly kinda flabbergasted lmao. he fucks him about it and truly THATS what calms marc down a bit (not entirely.... it lingers....). like nose in vale's armpit afterwards stroking his BALD SPOT while vale is like. my love you are three years older than i was when i met you. calm down.

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Forty Eight

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends,

As ever, thank you for the love on this story! It truly means the world. I cannot believe we are on Chapter 48.

I've got something special planned for Chapter 50 (a certain Agent Prentiss's birthday 👀) so I'm looking forward to that!

Please do let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.8k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List and will be updated as we go along.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“Will Daddy be home soon?” 

Emily turns and looks at her stepson, her heart aching at the forlorn expression on his face. Ever since the sudden loss of JJ on the team, Aaron had been working even harder than usual. He was two people down and desperately trying to find a replacement for Emily and JJ, something he claimed was close to impossible. It meant his workload had increased, something he bore on his shoulders alone, feeling responsible for the gaps in the team, for not being able to stop JJ’s move. Emily knew she needed to speak to him about it, that she needed to convince him to take the steps he needed to make sure he wasn’t at work on a Sunday afternoon like he currently was, missing out on time with his son - something else she knew that weighed heavily on him.

It was something that was slowly creeping up on her too, the end of her maternity leave looming over her. She knew she wanted to go back to work, but she also knew that she didn’t have to. That she had enough money that neither she nor Aaron would have to work again, but it wasn’t who they were. They loved their careers and their children, and she knew they’d spend the rest of their lives trying to get the balance right. 

“Not before Mommy comes to pick you up, sweetie,” she says, sighing when his frown deepens, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. She shifts closer to him, throwing a glance at Lily in her bouncer chair, the baby awake but content, and she wraps an arm around his shoulders. He immediately tucks himself into her side, seeking out the comfort that it seemed all the Hotchners needed from time to time, “He’ll be here all of next weekend, honey,” she says, kissing the top of his head, “I’ll make sure of it.”

It’s a promise she’d make sure she’d keep, even if it meant marching into Strauss’s office and yelling at the woman herself, something that, if she was honest with herself, she’d been waiting for an opportunity for. 

Jack nods against her and sighs, “I wish I was here more.” 

It was something he’d said before when she was still pregnant, but he’d never mentioned it again, so she’d dismissed it as a one time thought, a momentary show of sibling jealousy upon the realisation that Lily would live with her and Aaron full time. Emily pulls back and looks at him, running her fingers through his hair and idly thinking that he was overdue a haircut. 

“You wish you were here more?” She asks gently, trying to get more information out of him. He nods in response.

“I miss you guys when I’m with Mommy, but I miss her when I’m with you,” he says, creasing his eyebrows together, looking so much like Aaron it makes Emily ache, “But I’m with Mommy more, so I miss you more. Does that make sense?” 

It makes guilt that Emily knows is misplaced swoop through her gut. In moments like this, she had to remind herself it wasn’t her fault Aaron and Haley weren’t together anymore, that she hadn’t broken a family. It had already been broken, shattered around their feet as they tried to figure out how to put it back together, how to make something new and beautiful out of what had once existed. She’d simply added her pieces to it, bits of glass that were fractured themselves that fit amongst the bits they already had. 

“That makes sense,” she assures him. She smiles softly at him and gives him the only promise she can, “I’ll talk to Daddy about it, okay? And then he’ll talk to Mommy.” 

Even though she loved Jack just as fiercely as she did Lily, her place in conversations like this was somewhat limited. It was something Aaron and Haley would have to figure out, even though she knew her new job, and the more normal hours and additional time at home it gave her, would factor into Aaron’s reasoning for them having Jack more. 

“Okay,” Jack responds, placated for now, and Lily cries out for attention, seemingly bored of her bouncer chair. Emily smiles and then turns back to Jack, pressing a kiss to his forehead before she stands up from the couch.

“I hear you, sweet girl,” Emily says, walking over and unbuckling her from the chair before she lifts her into her arms. She turns back to Jack and smiles to herself before she carries on, well aware that her plan would remove the final bit of melancholy from his face, “I think it’s tummy time.” 

As predicted, his face lights up and he’s up off the couch in seconds, already on the floor in the spot they usually did tummy time for Lily, the cushion they’d bought especially for this in hand.

“Tummy time is funny,” he says, sounding delighted as Emily kneels down and then puts Lily in position. Jack lays in front of Lily like he’d seen Emily and Aaron do countless times, his face close to hers as he makes funny faces at his little sister, his joy only increasing when she laughs at him, her tiny giggle still enough to make Emily’s heart squeeze in her chest, “It’s silly.” 

Emily chuckles, “Do you remember why we have to do it?” 

“To help her with her neck,” he says, “So she can sit up by herself and play with me.” 

She clears her throat to stop herself from laughing at his simplified explanation, something about the innocence of it, his desperation to play with Lily, enough to warm her from the inside out. 

“Exactly, sweet boy,” she says, looking at Lily and cupping the back of her tiny head, smiling at the soft feel of her dark hair, “You’re such a good big brother.” 

He beams at her and she can’t help but return it, love for him and Lily threatening to overwhelm her. They sit there and keep Lily entertained, taking turns to shake her favourite toys in front of her, or smiling at her to encourage her to smile back. It’s such a normal moment, something that she knows happens countless times with countless families across the world, but it's a reminder that this is her life now. That she gets to experience everything that, not too long ago, she’d convinced herself she’d never have. 

The doorbell rings and it pulls her out of the moment, and she checks her watch, “That will be your mom, Jack,” she says as she stands up, “If I go get the door, can you please keep an eye on Lily for me?” 

“I’ll keep both eyes on her.” 

She smiles at his seriousness, something she hopes Lily, and any other future children they have, inherit from Aaron too. There was something endlessly funny about someone so young, so small laying there with the same stern expression she had often seen on her husband’s face back before she knew what it was like to make him smile.

“Thanks, sweetie,” she says, making her way to the door. She checks through the peephole and opens the door,  smiling at Haley as she steps into the house, “Hi Haley.” 

“Hi,” she replies, returning her smile as she pulls at the collar of her shirt, unintentionally drawing Emily’s attention to a small mark on her neck, “How has he been?”

“Good,” Emily says, smiling wryly, as they walk towards the living room, “Lily kept us up for most of the night, but I think he slept through it.” 

Haley hums sympathetically, “She’s still not sleeping through the night?” 

Emily groans and shakes her head, “At this point, I’m not sure she ever will,” she quips, turning her attention back to Jack as they enter the room, the boy still lying in the exact position she’d left him in, all of his attention on his sister, “Thank you, Jack.” She reaches down and picks Lily up, kissing the top of her head as she holds her close. 

“Look at you Miss Lily,” Haley says, smoothing her hand over the baby’s soft hair for a moment before she steps back, “You get more beautiful every time I see you.: 

Emily smiles, pride filling her chest, but any response is cut off as Jack jumps up and runs over to Haley, wrapping his arms around her waist, “I helped with tummy time!”

“Wow,” Haley replies enthusiastically, ruffling his hair, “I bet Lily loved that. Why don’t you go up and get your bag and we’ll head home?” 

He nods and runs off, calling out Sergio’s name so he can say goodbye to the cat before he leaves. Haley turns and looks at Emily and she smiles, a tinge of awkwardness to the air they could never quite shift when it was the two of them.

“I like your haircut,” Haley says, and Emily grimaces, groaning as she scrunches her face up. 

“Thanks, it was out of necessity more than anything,” she replies, shifting from side to side as Lily fusses in her arms, “I’m still getting used to it.”

“Well,” Haley replies, a wry smile spreading over her face, “As someone who has spent a lot of time wishing you were slightly less beautiful,” she says, drawing a laugh out of Emily, “I think you still look incredible. Even with your post-partum hair. It’s kind of unfair really.” 

Emily chuckles, “Well, thanks. I guess,” she says, her gaze falling to the mark on Haley’s neck again, and she clears her throat, “Please feel free to tell me where to go since I’m your ex’s wife, but is that a hickey on your neck?” 

Haley’s eyes go wide and she covers it with her hand, the way her cheeks go bright red with embarrassment enough of an answer for Emily, “Damn it, it’s that noticeable?” 

“It’s really not that bad,” Emily assures her, “I’ve had worse,” she says, and they fall into a brief silence, “So, who is the lucky guy?” 

Haley sighs and her hand drops down, “His name is Stephen, he’s…nice. He’s lovely actually,” she says, her cheeks still burning, somehow unsure how she still felt like a teenage girl when she talked about a guy she likes, “I’ve been thinking about introducing him to Jack.”

Emily tries to control her reaction, but she doesn’t, and she once again clears her throat as she tries to school her features, “Oh-”

“I wouldn’t do that before talking to Aaron,” she assures her, “I promise. I know I made him wait before you met Jack as Aaron’s girlfriend so I owe him the same. Can you…not tell him?” She asks, looking down at her hands as she twists them together, “I’d rather talk to him about it myself.” 

Even though she hates the idea of keeping something secret from her husband, she nods. It wasn’t her news to share, or her story to tell, she just hoped Haley didn’t keep it to herself for too long. 

“Of course.” 

Jack bounds back down the stairs, his backpack over his shoulder, and his favourite teddy in his arms, and he runs over, “Mom, can we go home via McDonalds?” 

Emily and Haley exchange a smile before she looks down at him, “Sure buddy, whatever you want.” 

____

Aaron groans as he wakes up, torn from sleep by his daughter’s cries. He feels like he’s barely been asleep for long, something that he confirms as he looks at the alarm clock and his nightstand and sees that he’s been home only for an hour or so.

“I’ve got her,” Emily rasps out, throwing the covers off of herself as she reaches over to the bassinet.

“No,” he replies, sitting up against the headboard and turning on his bedside lamp, “I’ll take her,” he says, reaching out for the still-crying baby, “I feel like I’ve barely seen her recently.”

Emily yawns and passes Lily over, smiling as Aaron settles her against his chest and pats her back, “I only fed her just before I went to bed, so I think she just wants attention.” She says as she rests her head on Aaron’s shoulder, reaching out and stroking Lily’s cheek, wiping away tears from her skin as she starts to calm down in her father’s embrace. 

“Like mother, like daughter,” he quips, and she lightly slaps his chest, her wide smile all the proof he needs that she’s not actually annoyed at him, “I’m sorry you were already asleep when I got home.” 

She shakes her head at him and reaches up to push his hair from his face, “It’s okay, I know you’re busy. You’re here now, She says, and he hums, looking down at Lily and smiling when he sees her eyes flickering shut already, as content in his embrace as Emily always was, “How’s it going finding mine and JJ’s replacements?”

He groans as he turns to look at her, “I think I may have found yours, JJ’s is proving harder, but there is someone from the academy who has been recommended, but she’s still a cadet.”

She raises an eyebrow at him, “Not sure what it says that it’s been easier to find your wife’s replacement.”

He shakes his head at her and smiles, the reaction they both know she’d been looking for, “There’s only one you, Em,” he says, leaning in to press a kiss against her lips, “You know that,” he looks down and sees Lily is asleep, “Lily would agree with me but she’s sleeping again already.”

Emily smiles and reaches to gently lift the baby from him, careful as she turns and places her back in her bassinet, “She’s very skilled at waking us up and then immediately falling back asleep isn’t she?” 

She kisses Lily’s head and then yawns as she lays back down, dragging Aaron’s arm over her middle after he turns the lamp back off, content to have him pressed up against her, his back against her chest as they settle. 

“So, who is this replacement for me?” She asks, linking their fingers together. It somehow felt more final than leaving the BAU for her maternity leave had felt, even though she knew then she wouldn’t be going back. But her job had still been there, hanging over her head like a test of some kind, one that she was determined not to fail.

“She’s called Dr Alex Blake,” he replies, pulling her closer, “She’s a linguistics expert,” he says, smiling into the top of her head as he feels her tense against him, “But as good as you sweetheart, don’t worry,” he kisses her temple, “And she’s a professor at Georgetown.”

Emily hums, the finality of it all sinking in. She looks over at her sleeping daughter, and any doubt, and regret, fades away. She’d left for her. She was breaking the cycle and putting her daughter first, no matter how much it might sting to feel as if she was being replaced. 

“She sounds good,” she says, kissing his knuckles, yawning again, “What’s the issue?” 

He sighs, the rumble of it passing from his chest to hers. The burden of whatever he was worried about was a shared one like everything else, “She lost her son a couple of years ago, it’s in her file. Our work is not easy, I wouldn’t want anything to drag that up for her if it’s too soon.”

She turns her head and looks at him in the low light of the room, her eyes narrowed slightly, “Says the man who went back to work a month after being stabbed in his own apartment by a sociopath.”

“Hey…” he says, squeezing her tighter, “Technically it wasn’t my apartment anymore, I was about to move in with you.” 

She rolls her eyes and leans up to kiss him before she settles back down, “Semantics,” she mumbles, “So much has changed since then,” she says idly, reminding herself to talk to him in the morning about Jack and his comments about being with them more. 

“For the better,” he whispers, squeezing her hand and she nods. 

“For the better,” she replies, yawning again, “If this Dr. Blake thinks she's ready, you should give her a chance.” 

He hums, “I know,” he says, kissing the top of her head again, “Just like I know we should try and get some more sleep before your mini-me wakes us up again.” 

They both close their eyes, sinking into the comfort of each other, of their life together. Aaron thinks she’s fallen asleep, her breathing all but evened out, when she speaks again.

“Aaron?” 

He yawns as he replies, “Yes sweetheart?” 

“Is she prettier than me?” 

-x-

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[eyeslikewatercoolers]

50 for whatever ship you want !!

50. “This could do some damage.”

I was dyeing my hair when I got this ask, so that's where my mind went off too. Set in the Wedding Planner AU, in which Marcia *attempts* to dye Anetra's hair (and nobody said that platonic ships were off the table, right?)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This could do some damage."

"Damage? What do you mean by damage?" Anetra turned behind her to look at Marcia, who was reading the back of the hair bleach box.

Marcia looked away from the box and back to her friend sitting in front of her. She tried her best to seem like she actually knew what she was doing with hair dye, even though the only knowledge she had was from watching her sister.

"It's just the warning on the box, I'm sure it will be fine." They sat the box back on the sink vanity and checked the timer on their watch. "Fifteen more minutes until we can rinse it out."

Anetra's only known this person for just over a week, and she's already letting them change her hair, which the most she's ever gotten done before was a haircut. She did have to admit that the blonde had excellent persuasion skills.

Anetra sighed, her hair was now in some other person's hands "Okay, if you say so."

After the bleach was washed out and Marcia pulled out the next box of dye and developer. She looked at the developer bottle as Marcia washed out the bowl and brush in the bathroom sink. "Are you sure this is right? This developer stuff said that it's for lifting up the color, and my hair just got bleached." She picked at a lock of her bleached hair, which was a bit of a shock to get used to.

Marcia looked at Anetra sitting at the edge of the bathtub, her eyes narrowing in thought. "I think that's what my sister uses. I never really paid attention to the numbers and stuff on the bottle." She shrugged as she dried the bowl with a towel.

"Wait, have you not done this before?" Anetra asked slowly.

Marcia shook her head, "No, but I've been watching Jan do this for years, it can't be that hard!" she let out a nervous laugh, avoiding eye contact.

"I think you should call your sister, Marcia."

About an hour later, another blonde woman entered Marcia's apartment. She was carrying a large paper bag with Sally's Beauty printed on the front.

"You're so lucky that Sally's was still open this late, Marsh." She glanced at her sister and immediately looked at Anetra's hair while quickly introducing herself as Jan in a bubbly tone to Anetra. Before Anetra could even say a hello back, Jan started unloading the bag onto the counter and explained the products in a whirlwind.

"Really Marcia? 40 Volume after you bleached her hair?" Jan picked up the bottle of developer that Marcia had before. "Are you trying to ruin virgin hair in one night?" She nagged at her sibling.

Jan turned back to look at Anetra in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, "Don't worry, you are in good hands now." She reached for the box of latex gloves and pulled out a pair "Let's get to work!" she said brightly.

Anetra had never seen someone with so much energy late at night, but Jan did not disappoint with how well she did with fixing her hair. Although Anetra was entertained by watching Jan and Marcia banter, it made her miss her siblings at home. Well, her home anymore, since LA was her home now.

After Jan turned off the hair dryer and gave Anetra's hair a light brushing, she clapped her hands together. "Okay, it's finished. What do you think?"

Anetra turned around, seeing her hair in a deep red color. It shined in the light of the bathroom, and she felt more like herself with it.

"I love it, it's perfect."

[theladyoracle]

ur a veteran emo? please teach me ur ways, I aspire for the 2000s emo culture but I can't find clothes anywhere😭

Yess! <3 Absolutely.

I'm truly no expert, but I can definitely share some insight with my personal experiences! Honestly by 'veteran emo' I always meant it as a 'I paid my nickel' type deal. I still dress alternative and dark, but my style has definitely changed to meet my needs as I've gotten older (no more skinny jeans for me LOL.) However, I do want to write all the tips I've picked up on my emo-inspired fashion journey - because I really do dress in homage to my 12 year old self. So without further ado, as per my 21 years of being an oddly dressed, dark inspired, self proclaimed emo veteran....here are my top tips to perfecting your own style:

1. Don't Be Afraid to Cut Your Clothes.

Seriously. Don't be afraid. I am so shit at sewing its not even funny (and I have TRIED) but if I've learned one thing: if you're not wearing the clothes anyway- cut em up.

I never wore any of the T-shirts I bought myself until I cut all of them into an "off the shoulder" style. Now that they're comfortable for me, I feel so much more confident in them! And they're way more flattering too. This tip goes for any clothes. Don't be afraid to fuck them up - dye, cut, tie, add patches if that's your thing, embroidery, etc. If they end up looking like garbage that's okay! You can just donate them/toss them/use them as rags lol. The main thing is that you'll start building confidence on how to DIY your clothes, at least minimally.

2. Iconic Emo Hair is a Journey

HAIR!!!! Growing up in the 2000s, I would go to a cheap seat salon, holding my little printed out photo of some emo girl from the internet. I was excited beyond belief! I would sit down and ask the jaded 50 year old stylist to cut my hair like the girlie in the photo, only to be met with judgmental eyes and horrible experiences.

One time, this lady deadass said to my impressionable 11 year old self; "Ah, yes, the iconic style of.....that."

I have had way Too Many Karen haircuts in my life. Some I totally slayed ! Others were.....mm.

Anyway, my recommendation on hair is this - either do it yourself (I could never) or do your research. Find some local non-chain salons in your area and look at the stylists. Stalk their instagrams! Look at their work. Find someone who loves doing shags and wolfcuts. I now go to a "higher end" salon. My girlie Caitlin has tranformed me into the punk emo princess of my dreams! I already had a side part, so I basically asked for a shaggy mullet with a bunch of layers, but I asked to keep a swoopy bang/fringe and some pieces of hair in front of my ears to frame my face.

3. It Grows with You Over Time.

It doesn't matter where you get your clothes. What matters is that the clothes you're getting bring out the most authentic, confident and amazing version of yourself! Style is an extension of yourself, so don't be afraid to adapt concepts from 2000s emo culture into the modern styles you might love today.

The first thing I recommend for literally ANYONE trying to discover themselves and their style is to make an aesthetic board. Not a board specifically for fashion, but rather one that encompasses you. Scenery, trinkets, textposts, aesthetic images that remind you of yourself, even just things that you like! Having a visual for who you are and who you want to be is so helpful. Literally anything and everything can be used as closet inspiration, and having an aesthetic board that completely revolves around you and how you perceive yourself can be so eye opening!

You might even recognize patterns in your interests that you didn't even notice before! Color palettes, textures, and shapes can all come to light. All of these things are very helpful in figuring out your personal style.

Once you have a genuine idea of your personal aesthetic board, you can then make one for fashion. Adding outfits or articles of clothing that you're interested in will help you when thrifting and shopping! I always pull up Pinterest when I'm at the mall or thrifting. It helps me get an idea of the clothes I already have and the types of outfits I want to wear.

For example, here are some of the patterns I recognize on my aesthetic boards:

Silver jewelry (layered necklaces, lots of rings)

Spider imagery

Long black skirts

Black, deep reds, dark blues

Platform boots

Celestial imagery

Leather jackets

Oversized button up shirts (flannels, dark colored corduroys)

Witchy plants

Shirts with long, interesting sleeves (bell, balloon, flared)

Big ol' sweaters

Bat imagery

Black tank tops with a 'v' neckline

Your style will evolve as you get older. And no matter who you are - style is versatile. Even if you love to wear corsets and gorgeous form fitting skirts most days....eventually you'll need a day in just sweatpants and your coziest sweater. As stated - what matters is that the clothes you have make you happy and bring forward your most authentic and confident self.

4. Don't Put Yourself in a Box!

Making your style your own will not only help you feel confident in your own skin, but also gives you flexibility in your closet. Style evolves with you! You shouldn't worry about you should or shouldn't be wearing just to fit into a special box like "emo" or "goth" or "cottagecore" or any of that! Instead, take the elements of those styles that you love and implement them into your wardrobe. This also helps you find clothes that are comfortable and that you'll actually wear.

5. Emo Style Starter Pack

For emo clothes in particular, I recommend accumulating clothes that are black, dark grey, grey, and white (yes white.) And then choose an accent color! For me, my favorite colors to wear are blue and purple. So when I started accumulating a concrete wardrobe my Junior year of high school, I mostly focused on black clothing and found accentuating accessories or articles of clothing that matched my fave accent color.

For someone starting to shop for traditional emo clothes, here's a shopping list I've curated:

Long sleeved shirts (black, striped, patterned) (to be worn under other shirts or stand alone)

Black tank tops (different straps)

Band t-shirts! Or just dark t-shirts with alternative designs

Heavy jacket/button up shirts (flannels, jean jackets, leather jackets)

Dark pants (can have as many pocket/rip/design elements as you'd like)

Dark boots (could be platforms)

Canvas sneakers

Oversized hoodies

Layered necklaces

Fingerless gloves

Multiple rings

Belts with dangling elements like chains

Beanie hats (you can get cute oversized ones)

Flat brimmed caps (LOL YES! IF YOURE INTO IT)

Black bandanas to wear over your hair (I think you can wear them in a lot of cool ways :3)

At the end of the day though, if you just wear a lot of black any normie will call you an emo. Find clothes that you feel comfortable and clothes that will make you feel badass!

Hope this helped! Or maybe it didn't lol. I'm just glad I managed to actually finish this post.

xoxo

-Oracle

[fattestwriting]

Cynthia, but she's 500 pounds heavier and going through a gassy butch phase? Complete with an undercut of course, with the sides of her head shaven~

Cynthia had lost her Sinnoh champion spot some time ago, with Dawn being the champion for leaning on two years at this point. During this time, the blonde pokemon master had not exactly adjusted well. At first, she decided to get a basic haircut, your average 'I need a change in my life' response. But the undercut didn't make her feel any better, not any better at all.

"I was the champion of this region for three decades, how do I lose all of that to some, some stuck up teenager!"

But, you know what did help? Food. Lots and lots of food. Cynthia found herself scraping the very bottom of her fifth XXXL tub of Super Chunk Chocolate Ice Cream that day. She tossed it with the others in the pile next to her couch, and struggles to get up. At this point, Cynthia was 500 lbs., if you're being generous, and yet she had someone failed to notice her change in size.

*PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT*

Or manners. Yes, indeed her constant binging had made her plenty gassy, and she couldn't care enough not to release it whenever she felt like it. This resulted in a number of things, a visual miasma of stink that lingered around her home, a several mile wide uninhabitable zone surrounding her abode, all the ice cream containers she orders directly to her house melting almost immediately, and, oh yea, she smelt absolutely fucking rancid. And yet despite all of this, and the fact she hadn't gotten off of her sweat and stench drenched couch in months, Cynthia she had had enough.

"What am I doing with my life?"

She grabbed her belly, a small monument to her legacy of fat, making up maybe 50 lbs. of her 500+lbs. total.

"I'm Cynthia, dragon queen, the champion of champions! I should reclaim my title! Surely it was just a fluke."

She had come to this conclusion in the past, in a desperate bid to convince herself her life still held meaning, but now? Now that she had delved so completely into her life of hedonism? She meant it. So she- after upwards of 3 hours of struggling- pried her sweaty hot ass off of her leather couch. She picked up her six trusty pokeballs, tried to put on her old coat, realized it would never fit again, and settled for a beyond-stained white tee and five-sizes-too-small sweat pants.

After she collected every thing she felt she would need, she opened her front door. A wave of hot dank air blew from her home like it was a popped balloon, tainting the last of the otherwise fresh air within the area. And so, with the sun glaring on her back, she set out on her grand adventure to get back her legacy!

...

And made it about 5 feet. She was doubled over, panting like she'd run a marathon, which for her cardiovascular system? She might as well have.

"Well, *pant*, in hard times like the- *wheeze* like these, you have to think smarter, not *gasp* harder. GARCHOMP, I CHOSE YOU!"

She reaches into her stained pants pockets with her beyond chubby little fingers and felt around until she found the ball for Garchomp. It was gross, covered in mystery stains and stickier than a string shot. She pressed the middle button to open the ball, and as it opens up, a physical film of gunk can be seen struggling to keep the ball closed, until finally the automatic mechanism pries it open and forces our Garchomp.

"GAR, GAR!"

The dragon pokemon looked as healthy and happy as the day it's owner quit battling years earlier. It's face shifted as it focused on its owner, however. It was clearly worried at seeing it's once beauty-model thin owner suddenly bloated into a 500 lbs. whale of a woman.

"Great, Garchomp! I need you to- *huff* to carry me! All the way to the champion hall."

The reptile would have assumed she was joking if not for her outstretched bingo arms and constant wheezing. Not to reject an order from its master, the Garchomp reluctantly sighed and then began lifting.

...

Several hours later, as the sun finally ducked beyond the horizon, they had made it to champion hall. At this point, Garchomp collapsed under it's owners weight, before returning to it's pokeball.

This wasn't the only thing collapsing, however, as soon as Cynthia began walking towards the hall itself, it began to wither, and eventually, fall apart. Cynthia's passive stench was ruining the building before her very eyes. Instead of feeling any form of panic or fear, she felt powerful and confident. Confident enough to turn her back to the champions hall and let out a trumpeting

*ppppppPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTHHH*

"*sigh*, it felt so good to let that out."

And as she turns around to face the hall once again, all she sees is an enormous pile of rubble. A very expensive, very satisfying pile of rubble where once the most prestigious establishment in the region stood.

Cynthia began to walk over the rubble, slipping farts as she m9ved her jiggly body over the rough terrain. After about ten minutes of walking (and an additional hour for her to sit and wheeze until she could walk again) she saw something amidst the rubble. On her knees, palms and hat on the ground, sat Dawn. She had grown into quite the desirable young lady since she beat Cynthia, with a fat ass and huge tits framing her thin torso.

"Dawn."

Cynthia spoke up.

"I challenge you for the spot of champion of Sinnoh."

*PPPPfffffffttptptpttt*

Almost as if to punctuate her challenge, Cynthia let loose another small fart, which sent tons of debris flying in all directions.

"Fine."

Dawn said, as she stands up and puts her hat back on. She's still smaller than Cynthia, by about two feet. Being an adult doesn't change her height, she supposed.

"On one condition."

Cynthia's ears perked up at this demand.

"You face me, in a battle of flatulence."

At that Cynthia's stomach roared. She didn't even need to say yes for the agreement to be made.

"Well Dawn, it's only fair you go f-"

*THHHRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPT*

Before Cynthia could finish her sentence, Dawn had let loose. She put her whole body into it, forcing it out of her as fast, hard, and sloppily as possible. The path of destruction was incalculable, easily reaching hundreds of miles past her ass. The entire region was aware of this fart, if not for the sound or the stench, from how it instantly melted all of Sinnoh's iconic snow and ice. Before anyone could worry about a potential flood, Cynthia responded.

*FFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTT*

She didn't even flench, barely letting out a toot. And yet still this miniscule release evaporated all of the water in Sinnoh, as well as in... Well. Every ocean. Her expulsion reached every corner of the planet, killing plants, coroding buildings, and evaporating water. If Dawn hadn't passed out from the pure concusive force, she'd have her jaw to the floor.

"Hah! I still got it! Cynthia's back, bitches! Say hello to your new champion! Me!

So Dawn, let's say we go down to a champion building that isn't in shambles and make this baby official!

Dawn? Hello?"

[crazycoke-addict]

In defense of Ross geller

I've seen a lot of tik Tok of people slandering the character Ross from the TV show friends and while I understand the criticism like he's a terrible boyfriend to many of the girls he dated and makes worst desicions in the show but Ross isn't the worst and I can't help but defended this character because at this point, people especially the ones on tiktok are trying to find ways to slander him which doesn't make sense.

The recent one I've seen is that Ross was a bad parent to both Ben and Emma and it's because of his minimalism time with Ben than later on emma. Ben's parents are divorced and appears that it's not really 50/50. One of the things that Ross has problems was the fact that he couldn't spend time with Ben that much is this is where he kept missing ben's milestone and wants Ben more longer. It seems like Ben spends a christmas over at carol and Susan's place and I do believe Ross visits to spend time with him. In season 7, Ross was allowed to have Ben and wanted him to learn about Hanukkah. He picks up Ben at school and he pretty much there for him in his life. I do have problem with him putting the toxic masculinity towards his son but than again Joey and chandlers aren't out of the woods for that either. He helps Rachel with Emma as much as he could even when they aren't living together any more. I think that Ross is good father as he could. One of the reasons why Ross didn't want to move to London was because he didn't want to leave Ben. The creator says this as a manipulation tactics because in their eyes, Ross doesn't spend time with Ben. When he actually does. We just don't see it that often because Ross' character isn't just him being just a friend. I saw one comment saying that Ross was a terrible father because his father Jack forgot he had another grandchild when he saw Emma. Ross literally says in that episode "what about Ben?". I think that Jack probably has short memory loss but that's my headcannon.

Another part I see people is his relationship with Rachel and I believe that both of them are in the wrong of what they did but they focus more ross' terrible choices rather than what Rachel. Whenever they are together, Ross made decisions that weren't okay which lead to them breaking up. While Rachel was ruining his relationships. There are three times where this happened. Ross cheated on both bonnie and Julie with Rachel and yet Rachel gets a past because she is not in the relationship with them even though she had problems with both of the girls like how she convinced bonnie to shave her head because she knew it would turn ross off and when phoebe said that Julie wanted a haircut and her hairstyle to be a celebrity and Rachel on purpose told phoebe the wrong celebrity. So when ross does the same time, she feels like a victim I mean she is but she didn't care about any of the girl's feelings but rather herself. She never felt any remorse for her actions because to her, she didn't feel like she owed them anything. I saw many comments saying that Joey wouldn't never cheat is not 100% true. When Joey was dating Kathy, he was seeing someone. They may have not put a label in their relationship. But kathy probably thought they were exclusive considering the fact that Joey called chandler as asked if he can cover him meaning that he didn't want to get caught despite believing his relationship with Kathy was nothing serious.

Whenever you bring up a good fact about ross, people on tiktok would try to find something wrong. For example when ross gave phoebe a bike and him finding out that she walked the bike rather than ride it. One of the many comments talk about he threatened to take the bike away all because she wouldn't ride the bike but they don't explain why. Ross gifted phoebe the bike after hearing the story. Now ross should've been knowledgeable about the fact that because phoebe never had a bike, she wouldn't learn how to ride one. However he helps her out and at one part he let's go which at what you do but because she turn to see he not behind her, she loses balance. I don't think ross would actually take the bike away but rather want to see how much does the bike mean to her. However in the end they find a solution by putting training wheels on the bike.

[sanctuaryspa]

It's her day! Let’s make every Mother feel special together

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If your mom is a spa lover, this package is perfect! She can choose from two or be totally indulgent and select all three services. Choose two for $199 or all three for $280. She can also go for a customized facial with our exclusive eye lifting treatment that intensely brightens dull, uneven skin tones and reveals a luminous, clear, and pure complexion. A Swedish Massage, guaranteed to relax your mind and soothe your soul, or a Body Scrub that will stimulate circulation and detoxify!

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We believe that every mother should have a spa day on their calendar. Give the ultimate Mother’s Day gift! Whether addressing skin needs or relaxing with one of our luxurious spa treatments, she can enjoy the moment over and over, feeling refreshed again and again. Escaping the stress of everyday life just got easier with a Club Harmony Membership. As a Club Harmony Member, she can enjoy a 50-minute Swedish Massage for $69 or a 50-minute Cleansing Facial at just $79 a month.

Sanctuary Salon & Med Spa offers spa packages that soothe the senses and nourish the soul. Experience the difference now and begin your journey with our highly trained and dedicated staff. Emerge renewed! Give your mom the break, love, and relaxation she needs with our spa packages from Sanctuary Salon & Med Spa. 

Call today and speak with one of our front desk professionals! They are ready to assist you in picking the perfect gift for that special mom!

—

MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL

Spoil Mom Rotten - $ 420

Includes Signature Facial, Signature Massage, Body Scrub, Haircut and Blow Dry (Includes Lunch) 

Pick 2 for $199 or 3 for $280

Choose from:

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Choose from 50 Minute Swedish Massage or Cleansing and Balancing Facial and

Package Includes complimentary EyebrowThreading!

[ourxcountryadventure]

God, Gucci and Golf

July 29, 2023

What an extraordinary day we experienced. Our first part of the day was a visit to the Vatican. We planned ahead and did our homework and we’re able to get tickets for an official guided small group tour of the Museums and the Sistine Chapel at 8 am. This is the first tour of the day of this type and we needed to be there at 7:45 for security and entrance. Annie secured a cab for Amma, Poppa and Julien and the rest of us walked the short trip up the street to the Vatican Museum entrance where we all met up to enter together. There was no line up at all for our group entrance and we were in and set up with our tour audiobox by 7:50. The tour lasted approximately 2 hours and the beauty that we saw during that time and the engaging way our tour guide presented her knowledge to us was almost enough to overcome the sheer number of people and the heat inside the museums. Almost, but not quite. The tour was physically demanding (our smart watches clocked 11 flights of stairs), socially demanding (in one room there were 6 different guides with groups fighting for space) and emotionally taxing - we were at THE VATICAN! A hugely unexpected perk was that we learned that we had access to the Basilica from the Sistine Chapel. I had emailed two weeks ago and told that this was not possible. We were so glad for the change because I was trying to figure out how we could do both without a big wait and was coming up empty handed.

The Basilica itself is pure beauty. Every surface is a work of art. There are no pews but rather a vast expanse of floor that in itself is a sight to behold. Julien and I sat for a bit at the back on reflection at Pope Pius X to look around and gather our second wind and then we all moved to the front altar where Julien showed us the stairs that go down to the tomb of St Peter. There was a mass being held in the left transept and we messaged the group to let everyone know. The ushers had the mass roped off from late arrivals but they did not anticipate Diane Austin on a mission and she and Dad soon found themselves seated and then receiving Holy Communion. We continued to look around and then met up with Mom and Dad at the back of the church and made our way outside at 11 am to plan our next steps. Annie visited the gift shop and the Vatican post office to send home a postcard. Then she ordered us an Uber and it ferried us back to our apartment to meet up with Julie and Amelia. It was a big morning and we were all a bit tired.

Following lunch at La Fiorentina, Julie and the girls went shopping at Via dei Condotti. They had a lot of fun and ended up making a memory with a rip-off Uber that drove them in circles before dumping them out at the wrong address.

Syl got a real, Italian barbershop haircut and he looks great. He said the barber looked him all over and walked around examining his hair and then declared, “No problem! I can fix you.” Syl followed his visit with a big walk around the neighbourhood sporting his new do.

I attempted to do laundry but was thwarted by the two-in-one in our apartment that took an ungodly amount of time and never really worked. My second load of laundry finished at 1:30 am (Sunday) but was started at 8 pm Saturday. I believe I will declare this machine the mechanical version of the anti-Christ.

We had purchased tickets in advance for an evening golf cart tour offered by My Best Tour. I initially thought the name was presumptuous, but in the end it is absolutely perfect. John and Lorenzo, our drivers, picked us up at our front door and gave us 2.5 hours of fun, information and vistas of Rome that were the perfect finale to our visit to Rome.

The city was alive on Saturday night and we were able to experience the excitement up close. It was so wonderful.

Julien and Syl rode backwards on the golf cart in the third row and Julien’s trip was made when two women waved and smiled to him as we passed by. We assured him that he was hit on and he loved every minute of it.

We ended our night with a bit of comfort food delivered on a Vespa from McDonalds’s before bed. We sat around the table, discussed our day and declared our visit to Rome a success. Off to Venice tomorrow to continue the adventure.

[turn-your-woundsinto-wisdom]

50 short rules for a better life:

தமிழில்

1. No one knows what they’re doing. Some do it anyway.

2. Work hard on what doesn’t feel like work.

3. Your thoughts make up your life. Literally. If you don't enjoy thinking about it, don't spend time pursuing it.

4. To make new friends, treat strangers like you’ve been friends forever.

5. If you want to win awards, be the best. If you want to actually win, be the only.

6. Most people don’t need advice. They need one person to believe in them.

7. Meditate to upgrade your software. Work out to upgrade your hardware.

8. When you can't decide, the answer is obvious.

9. Pick one problem to solve this decade, and problems today get a lot easier.

10. The happiest people combine art, passion, and purpose, into one compounding vehicle.

11. Spend time with freaks. They have dashes of genius, madness, harshness and kindness. Authenticity doesn't live in the middle.

12. The world wants to know you for one thing. Do everything you want, but own one idea.

13. To be heard, don’t follow the herd.

14. Fill your mind with inspiration from the edges. Read old books. Walk new streets. Unique ideas starts with unique input.

15. People can ‘feel the energy you put into your work.

16. When you’re good, they tell you. When you’re great, they tell others.

17. If you’re following steps, you’re falling behind.

18. The more you’re hesitating to share it, the more you desperately need to.

19. Art is a marathon of creative sprints.

20. The more you write, the more you’re right.

21. Never apologize for doing something good for you, but strange for others.

22. The future of work is not 'play.' It's a relentless obsession with what sets your heart on fire. This isn't a game. It's war. With a beautiful, torturous craft that consumes your entire life.

23. If you’re being copied, you’re on to something.

24. Life is short. The world is small. You owe it to yourself, to bet everything on a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

25. Obsess over the details for a decade, and you will win.

26. When you’re predictably unpredictable, they pay attention.

27. Life gets easier when you fall in love with hard things.

28. Don’t ‘be’ things. Do things.

29. Working out without your phone will solve 99% of your problems.

30. If you're not obsessed with the future you're creating, create a new one.

31. If your problems were given to a friend, you’d know exactly what they should do.

32. When you’re stuck between two things, choose a third.

33. Happiness can be measured by how excited you are to wake up.

34. The more obsessed you are with your craft, the more relaxed you’ll be with your life.

35. If you think you need a haircut, get a haircut.

36. If you can make decisions quickly, and unemotionally, the world is yours.

37. Use technology more than it uses you.

38. If you want people to follow you, lead them somewhere.

39. Focus on art for a decade, and profit will come for a lifetime.

40. When you start enjoying pressure, you’re about to win big.

41. Most progress comes without a plan.

42. Everyone is dying to talk about *something.* Notice when their voice changes, when their eyes light up, and let them share that world with you. Make people feel seen for their obsessions.

43. Great writing isn’t read. It’s felt.

44. Use your dark side to make something bright.

45. True greatness is a rare combination of obsession, service, and patience.

46. Pain tells you exactly where to go.

47. Don't trust an ideas you 'think' of. The greatest ideas come to you. And you have no other choice.

48. Life's short. Go make stuff.

49. Put yourself in places you don't belong. One day, you'll end up where you want to be.

50. The number one rule: Break as many rules as possible.

சிறந்த வாழ்க்கைக்கு 50 குறுகிய விதிகள்:

1. அவர்கள் என்ன செய்கிறார்கள் என்பது யாருக்கும் தெரியாது. சிலர் எப்படியும் செய்கிறார்கள்.

2. வேலையாக உணராதவற்றில் கடினமாக உழைக்கவும்.

3. உங்கள் எண்ணங்கள் உங்கள் வாழ்க்கையை உருவாக்குகின்றன. உண்மையாகவே. நீங்கள் அதைப் பற்றி சிந்திக்க விரும்பவில்லை என்றால், அதைப் பின்தொடர்வதில் நேரத்தை செலவிட வேண்டாம்.

4. புதிய நண்பர்களை உருவாக்க, அந்நியர்களை நீங்கள் எப்போதும் நண்பர்களாக இருப்பது போல் நடத்துங்கள்.

5. நீங்கள் விருதுகளை வெல்ல விரும்பினால், சிறந்தவராக இருங்கள். நீங்கள் உண்மையில் வெற்றி பெற விரும்பினால், ஒரே ஒருவராக இருங்கள்.

6. பெரும்பாலான மக்களுக்கு ஆலோசனை தேவையில்லை. அவர்களை நம்புவதற்கு ஒரு நபர் தேவை.

7. உங்கள் மென்பொருளை மேம்படுத்த தியானியுங்கள். உங்கள் வன்பொருளை மேம்படுத்த வேலை செய்யுங்கள்.

8. நீங்கள் முடிவு செய்ய முடியாத போது, ​​பதில் தெளிவாக உள்ளது.

9. இந்த தசாப்தத்தை தீர்க்க ஒரு சிக்கலைத் தேர்ந்தெடுங்கள், இன்றைய பிரச்சனைகள் மிகவும் எளிதாகிவிடும்.

10. மகிழ்ச்சியான மக்கள் கலை, ஆர்வம் மற்றும் நோக்கம் ஆகியவற்றை ஒரு கூட்டு வாகனமாக இணைக்கின்றனர்.

11. குறும்புகளுடன் நேரத்தை செலவிடுங்கள். அவர்களிடம் மேதைமை, பைத்தியம், கடுமை மற்றும் இரக்கம் போன்ற கோடுகள் உள்ளன. நம்பகத்தன்மை நடுவில் வாழாது.

12. உலகம் உங்களை ஒரு விஷயத்திற்காக அறிய விரும்புகிறது. நீங்கள் விரும்பும் அனைத்தையும் செய்யுங்கள், ஆனால் ஒரு யோசனையை சொந்தமாக்குங்கள்.

13. கேட்க, மந்தையைப் பின்தொடர வேண்டாம்.

14. விளிம்புகளிலிருந்து உத்வேகத்துடன் உங்கள் மனதை நிரப்பவும். பழைய புத்தகங்களைப் படியுங்கள். புதிய தெருக்களில் நடக்கவும். தனித்துவமான யோசனைகள் தனித்துவமான உள்ளீட்டில் தொடங்குகின்றன.

15. மக்கள் ‘உங்கள் வேலையில் நீங்கள் செலுத்தும் ஆற்றலை உணர முடியும்.

16. நீங்கள் நன்றாக இருக்கும்போது, ​​அவர்கள் உங்களுக்குச் சொல்கிறார்கள். நீங்கள் சிறந்தவராக இருக்கும்போது, ​​அவர்கள் மற்றவர்களுக்குச் சொல்கிறார்கள்.

17. நீங்கள் படிகளைப் பின்பற்றினால், நீங்கள் பின்தங்கி விடுகிறீர்கள்.

18. நீங்கள் எவ்வளவு அதிகமாக அதைப் பகிரத் தயங்குகிறீர்களோ, அவ்வளவு அதிகமாக உங்களுக்குத் தேவை.

19. கலை என்பது கிரியேட்டிவ் ஸ்பிரிண்ட்களின் மராத்தான்.

20. நீங்கள் எவ்வளவு அதிகமாக எழுதுகிறீர்களோ, அவ்வளவு அதிகமாக நீங்கள் சொல்வது சரிதான்.

21. உங்களுக்கு ஏதாவது நல்லது செய்ததற்காக மன்னிப்பு கேட்காதீர்கள், ஆனால் மற்றவர்களுக்கு விசித்திரமானது.

22. வேலையின் எதிர்காலம் 'விளையாடு' அல்ல. இது உங்கள் இதயத்தில் தீ வைப்பதில் இடைவிடாத ஆவேசம். இது ஒரு விளையாட்டு அல்ல. அது போர். உங்கள் வாழ்நாள் முழுவதையும் உட்கொள்ளும் அழகான, சித்திரவதையான கைவினைப்பொருளுடன்.

23. நீங்கள் நகலெடுக்கப்படுகிறீர்கள் என்றால், நீங்கள் ஏதோவொன்றில் ஈடுபடுகிறீர்கள்.

24. வாழ்க்கை குறுகியது. உலகம் சிறியது. நீங்கள் எழுந்திருக்க விரும்பாத ஒரு கனவில் எல்லாவற்றையும் பந்தயம் கட்ட, நீங்களே கடன்பட்டிருக்கிறீர்கள்.

25. ஒரு தசாப்தத்திற்கு விவரங்களைக் கவனித்து, நீங்கள் வெற்றி பெறுவீர்கள்.

26. நீங்கள் கணிக்க முடியாத நிலையில் இருக்கும்போது, ​​அவர்கள் கவனம் செலுத்துகிறார்கள்.

27. கடினமான விஷயங்களைக் காதலிக்கும்போது வாழ்க்கை எளிதாகிறது.

28. விஷயங்களை 'இருக்க' வேண்டாம். காரியங்களைச் செய்யுங்கள்.

29. உங்கள் ஃபோன் இல்லாமல் ஒர்க் அவுட் செய்வது உங்களின் 99% பிரச்சனைகளை தீர்க்கும்.

30. நீங்கள் உருவாக்கும் எதிர்காலத்தைப் பற்றி நீங்கள் கவலைப்படவில்லை என்றால், புதிய ஒன்றை உருவாக்கவும்.

31. உங்கள் பிரச்சனைகள் ஒரு நண்பரிடம் கொடுக்கப்பட்டிருந்தால், அவர்கள் என்ன செய்ய வேண்டும் என்பது உங்களுக்குத் தெரியும்.

32. நீங்கள் இரண்டு விஷயங்களுக்கு இடையில் சிக்கிக்கொண்டால், மூன்றில் ஒன்றைத் தேர்ந்தெடுங்கள்.

33. நீங்கள் எவ்வளவு உற்சாகமாக எழுந்திருக்கிறீர்கள் என்பதன் மூலம் மகிழ்ச்சியை அளவிட முடியும்.

34. உங்கள் கைவினைப்பொருளில் நீங்கள் எவ்வளவு ஆர்வமாக உள்ளீர்களோ, அவ்வளவு நிதானமாக உங்கள் வாழ்க்கையில் இருப்பீர்கள்.

35. உங்களுக்கு முடி வெட்ட வேண்டும் என்று நீங்கள் நினைத்தால், முடி வெட்டவும்.

36. நீங்கள் விரைவாகவும், உணர்ச்சிவசப்படாமலும் முடிவுகளை எடுக்க முடிந்தால், உலகம் உங்களுடையது.

37. உங்களைப் பயன்படுத்துவதை விட தொழில்நுட்பத்தைப் பயன்படுத்துங்கள்.

38. மக்கள் உங்களைப் பின்தொடர வேண்டுமென நீங்கள் விரும்பினால், அவர்களை எங்காவது அழைத்துச் செல்லுங்கள்.

39. பத்தாண்டுகள் கலையில் கவனம் செலுத்துங்கள், வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் லாபம் வரும்.

40. நீங்கள் அழுத்தத்தை அனுபவிக்கத் தொடங்கும் போது, ​​நீங்கள் பெ��ிய வெற்றியைப் பெறுவீர்கள்.

41. பெரும்பாலான முன்னேற்றம் திட்டம் இல்லாமல் வருகிறது.

42. ஒவ்வொருவரும் *ஏதாவது ஒன்றைப் பற்றி பேசத் துடிக்கிறார்கள். அவர்களின் குரல் எப்போது மாறுகிறது, அவர்களின் கண்கள் ஒளிரும் போது கவனித்து, அந்த உலகத்தை உங்களுடன் பகிர்ந்துகொள்ளட்டும். மக்கள் தங்கள் ஆவேசத்திற்காக பார்க்கப்படுவதை உணருங்கள்.

43. சிறந்த எழுத்து படிக்கப்படவில்லை. அது உணரப்பட்டது.

44. பிரகாசமான ஒன்றை உருவாக்க உங்கள் இருண்ட பக்கத்தைப் பயன்படுத்தவும்.

45. உண்மையான மகத்துவம் என்பது தொல்லை, சேவை மற்றும் பொறுமை ஆகியவற்றின் அரிய கலவையாகும்.

46. ​​வலி சரியாக எங்கு செல்ல வேண்டும் என்று சொல்கிறது.

47. நீங்கள் நினைக்கும் யோசனைகளை நம்பாதீர்கள். மிகப்பெரிய யோசனைகள் உங்களுக்கு வரும். மேலும் உங்களுக்கு வேறு வழியில்லை.

48. வாழ்க்கை குறுகியது. போய் சாமான்களை உருவாக்கு.

49. நீங்கள் சொந்தமில்லாத இடங்களில் உங்களை வைத்துக்கொள்ளுங்கள். ஒரு நாள், நீங்கள் இருக்க விரும்பும் இடத்தில் முடிவடையும்.

50. நம்பர் ஒன் விதி: முடிந்தவரை பல விதிகளை உடைக்கவும்.

[rederiswrites]

Okay, sorry, had to do Adult Things now back to bucolic adventures and plants.

So I'd been eyeing several of this guy's listings on FB --he had a native shade plant, wood poppy, and a native understory tree, red buckeye, and some lovely irises I definitely don't need and haven't got space for, which means nothing I guess. And I had to head in his direction anyway for an errand, so I finally reached out to see if I could arrange a pickup. So at 5:15 on a lovely day in late May, I headed out.

The drive there really set the tone, as it turned out. Greening fields, grazing cows, weatherworn bank barns, standing for a hundred years and more now. Narrow road, winding through that special countryside half-tame, half wild mix of neglected field edges and overgrown old foundations mixed with neat lawns, well kept houses, and a general sense of established comfort. Everything lush and vivid green.

I pulled into the drive--there was no other house it could have been, there being no other house around--and was greeted by a rabbit. It stared me down as we decided which of us would keep the prime parking spot. I won, eventually, by which time the seller was coming out of the house.

Guys, I wanna be this guy when I grow up. Cutoff sweatpants, boots, and a tired white t-shirt. Hair grey and wild, haircut three months past due. And standing square in the middle of acre after acre of gorgeous gardens.

Look, I took some pictures. But you gotta understand, these were just random snapshots. I'm not cherry-picking; it just all looked like this.

Those are rows of daylilies; apparently over a hundred varieties. He's forgotten most of the names, but the numbers on those white posts correspond to a photo index in his phone.

Here, have a magnolia bloom a foot across.

Oh yeah, it's native.

He also makes junk sculpture, but sadly I can't find anyplace of his to link you to online.

(Note that those shots contain completely different vast expanses of manicured parkland than the others).

He had a mature version of my little baby Flying Dragon Hardy Orange.

Which filled me with joyous anticipation because it was amazing.

I gushed the entire time. He was an excellent exemplar of "crusty old man" and never directly replied to my praises, but he sure did spend an hour showing me things. So I don't think he minded too awfully.

And I left with this:

For $45. Two more comfrey plants, three red buckeye, two wood poppies (with bonus other plant I have already forgotten the name of), and a huge chunk of irises.

Here's a better shot of that clump of irises:

Beforehand, we'd agreed on what counted as a $5 clump of irises. When he sank the shovel into the ground, that all popped up together. We were both briefly silent, counting in our heads. Privately, I got to $50. Maybe he did too, but he paused for a second and said, "how 'bout ten bucks?" and I said, "I'll take that."

Finally, I had to leave fairyland and go to CVS and wait at stop lights and other real world things. But on the way home a cardinal flew up at my passage, and I had to go round an Amish buggy, and I bought some tomato plants from a neighbor. So maybe we live in the same place after all.

Just had the BEST adventure getting plants off a FB listing but you gotta wait til my camera recharges for pictures.

[topteny]

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[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Vikings characters + how they'd react to finding Accidental Time Traveler crying somewhere and not knowing why

based on this request, but the title says it all | Masterlist

in this imagine, Ragnar, Lagertha, Bjorn, Ubbe, Hvitserk, Ivar, Gisla and Alfred will be finding you crying

Ragnar

the first time you break down, it's after a few months of being in kattegat after being taken from lindisfarne with athelstan

ragnar almost doesn't notice, too caught up with his own issues

finds you sniffling in a corner of the great hall

you're not only missing home, it's also Lagertha and Bjorn, but most of all, Gyda

you're wiping away tears, getting up, promising him to get back to training with rollo, but he stops you gently

"what's wrong? are you alright?"

no, you're not fucking okay, so you just burst out in tears

ragnar freezes for a sec, and then he'll be hugging you tightly, because honestly

he needs it too

not the best to talk to, but one of the best to hug

Lagertha

it's been years in the past, you rarely even think about 'home' anymore

so you're chilling in hedeby, talking astrid out of her horrific haircut, but today just isn't your day

everthing's going wrong, from stubbing your toe to getting cut by a new shieldmaiden

the dam breaks when a trader from the silk road wanders into Lagertha's hall with 'chocolate'

only, it's not really chocolate. not yours at least.

it's not sweet enough, not creamy enough, and you didn't expect it to be, but that day, you just silently get up from the table and leave

lagertha follows you a bit later, and when she finds you crying over a piece of chocolate, she's confused, but she doesn't question it

also hugs you very tightly, before asking you what's wrong

listens to you, does her best to comfort you and babies you for the rest of the night

very sweet

Bjorn

we're going with young bjorn (porunn era, but they're friends)

he's practically bouncing up to you because he wanted to show you something, and almost doesn't notice you crying

you don't hear him either, bc he's very quiet

but he just stands like this 🧍 for a solid ten seconds, before turning on his heel

finds you food, and then sits down with you to talk it through

tries his best to understand

very blunt in his manner, but he only wants to help

makes you laugh

porunn comes from training and joins in, and with the two of them, you feel much better after

Ubbe

i love this man's manners to death, and i just know that he wouldn't disappoint

sits down with you, pulls you into a hug (if you're okay with that) and lets you talk

amazing listener

tries to distract you

him and hvitserk take you into the mountains around kattegat, bc they know how much you love the wide open nature from that time

ends up making you feel even more welcome and loved

but i guess that's just our king ubbe

Hvitserk

ahhh, this man is so *unintelligible noises*

chaotic, even more than young bjorn

assumes that someone broke your heart first, and asks you who he has to fight

that cracks you up a bit

very confused, so he asks ivar, who isn't very helpful

"they're so sad, i don't know what to do. I don't even know why they're sad." and ivar will just go "aren't you the charmer? as long as you don't subject them to poetry, you'll be fine."

yeah, but 50% of his charm are his skills (or so he believes)

picks flowers and gives them to you by just... jutting them out in front of him awkwardly

too abd he's a prince and you're from the city

the flowers end up giving you a slight rash, but nothing helga can't fix

lets you talk during 'recovery' and feeds you his fave food

very smooth with it

Ivar

yikes

assuming he likes you, he'll try

"what are you sad about? isn't kattegat beautiful?"

you try to tell him why you're sad, and he just does a very condescending snort

but because it's you, he'll sit down next to you

does some self-important talk that cloaks his actually wise advice

no hugs

well, maybe one stiff side hug

when someone walks in on you two talking, he barks at them to get out

treats you to a day out, just the two of you

ends up giving great advice

Gisla

gisla has a professional distance to everyone, since she's a princess

but you're so annoyingly nice

sees you, leaves wordlessly, has people preapre fine food

invites you to take dinner with her

talks to you about everything

ends up scooting to the seat next to you

tight hug

at some point, her kids walk in, and one of them makes themself comfortable on your lap

the two of you talk a little more

keeps an eye on you, to make sure you're okay

[parkers-gal]

masterlist

requests | closed to complete current requests <3

last updated | aug 5th, 2021

do not repost my work anywhere !! respect this please. | fics are not ordered in any particular way. these headers are mine so pls don’t use/take them

tom holland

insomnia - reader can’t get to sleep; tom finds out why

driving in the rain - fluffy dinner date and rainy drive back home

workouts and warmth - when all tom wants is some after-workout cuddles

from across the living room - announcing your engagement to your families

the one - you want to move out and get your own place as a couple, but tom doesn’t. nikki talks to him. 

anything for the twins - tom massages reader’s boobies during her period

moms, makeouts, and mishaps - nikki walks in during your makeout sesh

simple acts of intimacy - a fluffy 3.1k words worth of blurbs

silver surprises - the reader surprises tom at a premiere

twenty questions - questions ensue after tom & reader get stuck in an elevator

my gut - spinoff of twenty questions with claustrophobic!reader (tw/ anxiety + attacks)

stealth mode - tom & reader scaring each other

unicorns vs pegasuses - tom shuts the reader up by kissing them

a good story - tom meets reader at a meet & greet — friendships blossom to lovers

deal breaker - tom wants kids, but the reader does not

his lap - reader asks for help in overcoming an insecurity; tom misreads the situation

pool day - pool day w/ tom + the boys

hot - the reader picks a certain song that reminds her of tom - the boys go wild

grounded by rocks - tom talks about you in an interview for cherry

your hands - when all he wants is a simple head massage

late flights - in which tom takes too much time with the fans

nobody wanted to - where only one person makes it out alive

way more than 50 - the hollands trick the reader into thinking they did something they weren’t supposed to 

why [ pt ii ] - sweet cupcakes, and a not so sweet breakup

what looks suspicious - nikki doesn’t exactly approve of tom dating the reader

something sweet - reader drops off small gifts while tom’s on set

he remembers - when tom finds the letter

missed you - reuniting w/tom after four long months

soft gangsta - tom tries to dress edgy; the reader is unconvinced

the shoe game - reader & tom play the shoe game at their wedding

too much - when the reader has a rough time with work, tom comforts them

losing grip [ pt ii ] - a losing battle between the reader and a hereditary disease causes heartbreak

your captain america - protective!tom holland of young reader (age gap)

sexy genius - reader is a fan of (and meets) jake gyllenhaal

teddy bear cuddles - tom wears an oversized hoodie

nonsense - the boys think the reader is meddling with tom’s work

circles before yourself - rule #2 - osterfield!reader gets caught with tom

seventeen times - when the reader is having a hard time in lock down, tom tries to help (TW // depression)

pixie dust hair - tom assures insecure!reader that the pixie haircut looks good <3

a few more months - reader passes out during a run; tw // excessive exercising

tiktok au’s

body ody ody - tom gets a little jealous over a few social media comments 

sweats in the supermarket - getting tom hard when he wears sweats

put your records on - trying not to kiss each other first

mood killer - saying dirty things into tom’s ear

say it back - pranking tom by not saying ily back to him

two different ways - tom choking the reader to get two different reactions 

brutal - doing the “did you mean to post this?” trend on tom 

worst thirty minutes of my life - playing a drinking game with tom to see who gives into cuddles first

my girl’s cuddles - crawling into tom’s lap 

even - buying hot leggings & taping tom’s reaction 

goofball - a silly way to reveal reader’s pregnancy to tom 

end the debate - “i found out why my boobs are small” trend

slam the car door - doing the car door prank on tom 

water bottle wars - the boys ask you and tom questions about each other. wrong answers result in sprayed water 

get you back real good - you & the boys prank tom after watching a scary movie 

peachy - sighing / moaning in front of tom playing video games to get his reaction

my princess - tom does a tiktok where he guesses all your answers to everyday questions

dad!tom

needles and needs - when scarlet has to get shots, you realize she may not be the only one that needs comforting

all my girls - scarlet meets her baby sister for the first time (dad!tom)

everything i love about u - tom is afraid baby red might hate him for leaving home too much

a little extra help - stepdad!tom being the best dad to your daughter

through the tears - pregnant!reader goes into labour, and baby holland meets the family

first feed - tom watches you breastfeed for the first time

warmth from the love - baby holland’s first Christmas

first words - baby holland speaks for the first time

breaking the internet - when your pregnancy announcement crashes multiple apps/websites (pregnant!reader)

breaking the internet... again - when baby holland breaks the internet

boyfriends and brunch - when jade brings home her boyfriend (aged!up)

big sister + how are babies made - telling scarlet about the baby on the way (pregnant!reader)

too many kids - the reader’s dad has some commentary about the twins

mumma’s girl - tom gets jealous when scarlet isn’t a daddy’s girl

angels - a little skin to skin time with his best girl

family man - after a nasty breakup, tom finds out you had his child

cheesy uncles - telling paddy he’s going to be an uncle

ag!reader (more to come !!)

y’all really get nasty - tom and the fans discuss ag!reader’s songs

my favorite things - ag!reader performs in front of the mcu cast at the grammy’s

34 + 35 - the boys react to reader’s new song(s)

34 + 35 remix - the boys reacting to the remix

his remedy - the boys react to positions deluxe

neglected - AG!reader breaks up w tom because of their job; tom searches for answers

low-key wants him - reader talks about how much nonna (+ her fam) loves tom

see u soon - reader interacts with tom while on stage for the swt

a few spilled secrets - AG!reader performs on jimmy fallon’s show.. tom and her confess a few secrets

for the first time - when the reader breaks down crying while singing about her ex, tom is there to comfort her

dance with me, rain on me - reader has a hard time on set, tom to the rescue

every tomorrow - the first album release night after your breakup

here we go again - introducing tom (+ the boys) to your celebrity friends

condoms or safety nets - the boys react to AG!reader’s song “safety net”

we’re not engaged - AG!reader announcing to the world why they no longer have a fiance... (fluffy)

the late late show - AG!reader & tom do spill your guts or fill your guts

pain from pleasure - dad!tom goes through a birth simulator — controlled by the reader

never have i ever - tom & the reader play a game on the late late show

fluffy hair - ag!reader has a zoom interview with zach sang. tom makes an appearance

fighting off the haters - ag!reader and older!tom holland (age gap) attend an award show after going public

run your hands thru my hair - tom reacts to ag!reader’s song “my hair”

stick to acting - tom tries to make a beat for ag!reader

practically twins - reader meets sebastian & anthony at comic con

damn lucky - black!reader wears her hair naturally during an interview

what a piece - reader talks about tom related songs & tattoos

flip it - tom talks about reader in an interview

at the door - older!reader & tom fight off haters

a headcannon of ag!reader being a marvel cast member

a headcannon of tom & the reader attending the avengers endgame premiere

styles!reader (more to come !!)

bathroom kisses - makeout sessions with tom and styles!reader in the bathroom

yeah, he is - tom holland x styles!reader meet the styles family; protective older brother harry makes an appearance

unparalleled love - older brother harry styles makes a speech at reader’s wedding

grilled - date night for tom & styles!reader is a bit difficult with two kids; older brother!harry to the rescue

baby showers and brothers - dad!tom & styles!reader are going to be parents

potential boyfriend - tom has a crush on the reader when they first meet

ts!reader (more to come!!)

trust me - tom & the reader defend her after nikki doesn’t approve

your london boy - tom & co. + the world reacts to “london boy”

boy of my dreams - tom being proud of the reader for winning a grammy

rapper!tom

tom records your sounds during sex for his music (hc)

tom talks about you in an interview

concepts: one , two , three

professor!tom

my pretty girl - tom gets jealous when reader gets many valentines

other reader tropes

cherry - reader is a screenwriter for tom’s upcoming movie

no shouting - singer!reader needs some help after paparazzis are too much (based on a video of tom)

pregnancy belly - actress!reader has to wear a pregnancy belly for her role, and the boys tease tom about when it’ll be real

we march - actress!reader being a huge feminist

passions & pediatricians - pediatrician-to-be!reader meets tom

politics - reader’s granpa is joe biden (requested) and tom meets him

extra support - psychiatrist!reader helps tom on the set of cherry

you made it big - tom holland x actress!reader at the after party

partition - the boys react to famous!reader singing partition

senorita - singer!reader makes a music video with shawn, who’s tom’s new best friend

miniseries 

boomerang: one , two , three , four [completed]

peter parker

making amends

➢ enemies to lovers ; college!peter x super soldier!reader ; 30k words ; sorta slow burn

cheeky guy, favorite thighs - college!peter doing a tik tok challenge — between the reader’s thighs [tik tok au]

a little nicer - doing the prank on peter (”you could’ve been a little nicer to me today”)

start searching - first make out sessions with our best boy :)

hidden hickeys - the avengers think innocence of peter, until they’re proven wrong

the team - part two of hidden hickeys; reader meets the avengers

all of you - late night talks about your future with peter :’)

like you wouldn’t believe - reader tells mj about her & peter’s awesome sex

slip from my hands - roommate!peter comforts the reader after a nightmare

i’d wait for her - college!peter parker needs to come to terms with you and your boyfriend

shut up and kiss me - soft make out sessions with peter :)

all the good things in the world, and i get you - insecure!reader needs a little reassuring 

modern chivalry - peter being a gentleman on the subway

eggnog and mistletoe - peter helps you love the holidays

the force awakens? it sleeps - a little extra comfort & care from our favorite baby boyfriend 

a prince - wonder woman!reader meets spider-man (& avengers) in a mission

steve rogers fics - peter finds you reading fanfiction abt steve rogers

fanboy!peter

fanboys and bracelets - fanboy!peter parker goes to famous!singer!reader’s meet and greet

fanboys and phone numbers - fanboy!peter parker continuation 

showing around - fanboy!peter gets VIP access; some dancing ensues

stark!reader + avengers!reader

if you knew feelings - the avengers want you & peter to break up

sleeping - peter misinterprets a few important questions

the may to your ben - college!best friend!peter parker x stark!reader fluff

race ya - peter confesses his feelings for rogers!reader after a mission — on comms

frat bathrooms - stark!reader joins the avengers where she sees college!peter, the boy she slept with at a frat party

rainy days - reader doesn’t like rainy days, a certain wall-climber changes their mind

already got her - jealous!peter makes a public confession

flustered!peter

a nervous one - flustered!peter parker sees cheerleader!reader in her uniform

one day soon - flustered!peter parker x affectionate!reader

all better - flustered!peter parker does some lab flirting with reader

dad!peter + pregnant!reader

unplanned  [ part ii ] - reader gets pregnant... breaks up with peter to avoid it all

burrito wraps - reader worries that baby parker might be cold

a name to remember - latine!reader & peter give their girl a special name

you’re magic - a certain wall crawler hears two heartbeats

sgt. bucky barnes

first cuddles - bucky asks to cuddle for the first time

harry holland

golden light, the love of my life - the boys tease harry —on a live video— for being whipped

it won’t f^cking open - harry lends a helping hand

how much i - those three magical words are exchanged for the first time

cuddly koala moments - time the reader just needed harry’s warmth

anything for hands - the reader cuts harry’s hair on instagram live

your other best friend - the reader is sam’s new friend, but harry thinks they like tom instead

you’re my anchor - harry has an anxiety attack, but the reader knows what to do

what’s his [ pt ii ] - when everything thinks the reader should date tom instead, harry snaps

whipped fries - harry brags about the reader winning the pub quiz for them

tell me, show me - the reader makes harry flustered by playing w/the strings from his sweatpants

keep your cool - tom setting u up with his brother // nikki being wary

ag!reader

you’re such a dream to me — ag!reader writes r.e.m. about harry

harry styles

intoxicating - soft bubbles baths with long haired!harry 

frayed braids - reader braids long haired!harry’s hair

others:

harrison osterfield

not anymore - when harrison comes back from filming, he’s determed to win the reader’s heart

irreversible - when relationships fall apart, people fall apart. (infidelity)

circles before yourselves - rule #1  - harrison x osterfield!reader (sister) when brothers talk, bad things begin

think of her - harrison asks your family for their blessing [holland!sister]

steve harrington

together not never - steve discovers the reader is pregnant

[tomwambsmilk]

the mother's day photo is really what elevated it for me. up until that point it was just the general public being way too invested in the private life of a public figure (and a member of the monarchy no less). there was no real reason why the palace's story had to be false, it was just boring and people felt entitled to seeing photos of Kate Middleton.

but now you've got the Associated Press issuing a kill order for an official photo released by the palace and Kate claiming that she 'dabbled in photoshop' by photoshopping some of her son's fingers out??????? clearly this is not something she did herself. it has to be a cover because the idea that Kate, as an amateur photographer, botched her photoshop job is a lot more sympathetic than the probable truth which is that someone employed by the palace absolutely butchered that photo. and why????????????? to accomplish what???????????? if it's just that the photo was so horrendous it needed that degree of editing you could have taken a second photo. you have professional photographers. so why ????????

regardless this is now less about Kate's personal life and more about why on earth the palace is jeopardizing its relationship with the press by knowingly disseminating heavily altered photos that dont meet the very explicit AP guidelines for photo submission. either they're hiding something or someone in their employ has simply exhibited terrible judgment but either way its absolutely baffling.

anyways. just to get it out of my system here's my informal ranking of Kate Middleton conspiracy theories:

she had a hysterectomy/has cancer/any other normal health-related issue - not even really a conspiracy, given that the official story is that she's out for health-related reasons. A lot of people have pointed out that a hysterectomy doesn't normally require a 14-day hospital stay, but complications are a thing that can happen with any surgery, and the british royal family obviously does not have the same financial concerns which would drive literally anyone else to shorten their hospital stay. Very plausible but not very interesting. Also the emphasis on a hysterectomy (and that they're hiding a hysterectomy) has some misogynistic undertones to me.... like people are saying of COURSE the royals would hide a surgery that compromised Kate's fertility like it's the general public's business. Weird and I don't like it. 0/10

she and William are separated - spicy and also plausible. Despite what the tabloids claim none of us really know shit about any of the royal's marriages but something like 50% of marriages end in divorce so the stats are on your side. Also very plausible that if William and Kate are in a transitional period they would want to hide this until things are more settled and a Narrative is in place. 5/10

she's growing out bad bangs - more plausible than it should be unfortunately given how much the image of Kate gets picked over in the public sphere. That said photoshopping a mother's day photo is a hilarious length to go to just to hide a bad haircut. 8/10

she's recovering from a facelift and/or a BBL - also more plausible than it should be. but the way people are talking about it gives me Bad Vibes on multiple levels. if it's true then there's definitely a lot more nuance to the issue re: societal expectations of women in general and the dehumanization of women who are public figures. but no one really wants to talk about that so instead we just get 'haha kate got a bbl'. -4/10

she's dead - crowning glory of conspiracy theories. makes absolutely no sense. why on earth would you hide the fact that she's dead for so long????? even if you wanted to cover up the cause of death - you can do that without hiding the fact that she IS dead. are you just going to 'weekend at bernie's' her for the next 40 years????? are they going to force William to marry a body double??? is the upkeep of the entire British monarchy resting on Kate's fragile shoulders and the royals are afraid that announcing her death would lead to public revolt??????? raises more questions than it answers which imo is the hallmark of a great conspiracy theory. 14/10

*gritting my teeth as I scroll through all the posts and memes and reels my friends are sending me* I will not get invested in Kate Middleton conspiracies I will not get invested in Kate Middleton conspiracies I will NOT get invested in Kate Middleton conspiracies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!