#How to Lose a Guy

[moviepolaroids]

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days Sticker Set / T Shirt and more!

is a popular romantic comedy film starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey.

[longislandcharm]

SETTING: Prickly Pear TIMING: Current PARTIES: Ford and Felix (@recoveringdreamer) SUMMARY: Ford is trying to help take care of attackers on the farm when Felix's jaguar finds him. Fun times are had. WARNINGS: Head Trauma tw,

“What the shit?” 

One minute Ford was flirting it up with one of the farmhands, the next he was fighting off a shifter going for his throat. The thing kept snapping its jaws as Ford held it back the best he could, sharp teeth digging into his dead skin on occasion. It didn't matter. This thing was as good as dead as soon as he could get his hand down to the hidden dagger in his boot. The zombie had learned years ago that it was always handy to have one hidden somewhere just in case and it hadn’t failed him yet. “Alright, pussy cat, it’s time to stop playing games.”

His usual confident swagger didn’t falter even as the cat swiped a line down his chest. He still pushed as hard he could against the animal, sending it tumbling back to the ground to give him enough time. The dagger was retrieved, the shifter came running at him again, and Ford sunk the blade deep into its chest while using that strength that was starting to build inside of him. If he didn’t get out of here soon he knew he was going to go feral but he couldn’t just leave this place to defend itself. No, Monty needed him and he wasn’t going to let him down if he could help it.

A low growl alerted Ford to something stalking up behind him. He turned, his boots leaving a swirl in the dirt and his eyes taking in the form of a familiar jaguar. He could recognize Felix now, even when shifted, but what he couldn’t comprehend was why the balam was coming after him. They were on the same side. Hell, Ford had made them blush not two hours ago. “Hey buddy…it’s alright, it’s me. You know me. I’m on your side.” The last thing Ford wanted to do was hurt them. Felix was a nice person and incredibly fun to fluster. But he brandished the weapon in hand, ready to use it if he had to. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Blood dripped from the jaguar’s maw, staining the fur around his mouth with red and black. He’d been on a bloody rampage since the moment he was inadvertently released, the quiet remnant’s of Felix’s fear surging through him and making his rage burn all the hotter. The world around him seemed intent on turning him into prey; already, he had been targeted by several of those who had started the attack on the farm, though the jaguar had no way of telling those people apart from the ones who worked on the farm or attended the party as friends. To him, they were all the same. He had torn through everyone and everything in his path, animal and human alike. 

The jaguar wasn’t prey, after all. He was the predator. 

He spotted an altercation ahead, trotted towards it with a curious tilt to his head. Another jaguar, he realized — another balam. This one was attacking a human who brandished a knife, and the jaguar watched with some quiet fascination. Arrogant, he found it laughable that the human with the unbeating heart believed a knife could subdue a jaguar. But the blade found a home in the balam’s chest, and it fell still on the ground. 

The jaguar was indifferent about the death of the other creature on a personal level. He cared for very few, and he hadn’t seen any of them in some time now. But the idea that this human believed he had some right to kill a balam this way? That made the jaguar all the angrier. 

The man spoke to him, trying to placate him with calm tones and promises, but the jaguar wasn’t quite capable of understanding human speech. He carried none of Felix’s recognition towards the man, felt no camaraderie or fondness. All the jaguar ever felt was rage, and that was what drove him forward, claws out and teeth at the ready.

The jaguar wouldn’t relent, Ford realizing now that Felix was definitely not in control. The gentle person he knew wouldn’t have dreamed of swiping at the zombie much less get him right in the face. He felt his jaw crack, the farmhand crying out before a low growl started to sound from deep within his chest. He wasn’t fully gone yet but Ford was sure it was coming in the next few minutes. Did he stay and fight or try to get out of the jaguar’s grasp so he could get away from everyone here in time?

“Felix!” All of his calm demeanor had drained with that last injury, pouring from him the way his blood should have. Shit, it might have been too late to run. Ford’s eyes flashed with his hunger as he swiped back with his blade, not even knowing if he had hit the cat before he ran and tackled it to the ground. 

As much as he didn’t want to hurt his friend he was already losing his grip on reality. “Felix, get a hold of your cat before this gets worse.” He was hoping he could get through somehow, maybe jerk the person back from wherever the spirit took them as he did his best to pin the thing to the ground. His grip was slipping, on the cat and himself, and he involuntarily gnashed his teeth in the animal’s direction.

The man called out Felix’s name, but the jaguar cared little for the familiarity. The world around him was on fire, violent and terrifying, and his rage burned just as hot as the flames eating through the farm he knew only from Felix’s perspective. Fear wasn’t a thing the beast enjoyed feeling, and Felix was so full of it at the moment of the shift that it seemed permanently stuck in his chest now. Rage was the only way the jaguar knew to dislodge it, and this man, with his knife and the dead jaguar at his feet, was a good target for it no matter whose name he yelled.

His claws found the man’s head, sending him stumbling in a way that would have taken a normal human down for the count. The jaguar was learning that those who lived on this farm were more resilient than the ones he fought in the ring when Felix let him free entirely. The woman he’d faced off against just after his shift had remained standing until he tore her head from her body entirely; perhaps he’d need to do the same to this man. 

Perhaps he’d enjoy it, he thought, the rage burning brighter as the man’s knife slashed a painful line across his chest. The jaguar yowled, fury colored by pain as the man surged forward and wrestled him to the ground. Hands pinned him to the ground, jaws snapped at his throat. But a jaguar was a hard thing to keep down; muscles rippled across his back, powerful legs kicking at the man atop him, claws out and ready. 

Ford could feel that strength he dreaded seeping in, his muscles flexing as he held down the cat the best he could. But each slash of the animal's paws sent him spiraling faster and faster to that decline and with one last deep slash across his shoulder he slipped away entirely. His eyes glossed over with a distinct foggy color, narrowing in on the live prey beneath his hold. Surging forward, the zombie tried to sink his teeth into the balam but before he could his body was tossed back by the power of the cat's strong legs. Ford had lost his grip in his desperation and therefore had lost the upper hand.

He slammed into one of the cornhole boards, wooden pieces flying as the thing broke under his weight, but it was as if the zombie didn’t even notice the piece sticking out of his arm as he leapt to his feet. Ford didn’t care that the jaguar was his scared friend, he didn’t care about the desperate calls to get to the animals on the farm, or the screams of those already being attacked, he didn’t even care that a fire was raging close by because his mind was focused on one thing and one thing only; food. A low growl left his lips before he ran towards the cat again, this time aimed to kill rather than subdue. 

Something shifted within the man, though the jaguar wasn’t fully capable of recognizing it. To him, it was impossible to distinguish the previous intentions to subdue from the current ones to kill. To a wild animal, everything that wasn’t fleeing was an active threat, and anything that did flee was prey. The man’s teeth snapped at his flesh, and the balam flung him away and watched wood shatter beneath his form. There was a sense of something akin to curiosity as the cat tilted his head to the side, waiting for the man to rise again, waiting to see if the blow had killed him the way it should have.

But rise he did, slowly but surely all the same. He advanced with a growl, jaws snapping. The jaguar moved quickly, though the speed of the man surprised him a little. Rather than latching onto his throat, those jaws found his shoulder, and the animal yowled as the teeth sank in. He bucked, rising up on his hind legs and using his front ones to claw at the man. Shifting into a position that was uncomfortable, but effective, he attempted to lock his own jaws around the man’s throat, intending to pull him loose and shake him.

He felt no pain as the jaguar swiped at him again, those teeth clamped down on the animal’s shoulder and not letting go even as claws dug into his back. Shirt torn to pieces, blood dripping down his charged body, Ford paid no mind to any of it while he did his best to not lose his grip on the flesh he so desperately wanted to tear loose. His own fingers clawed at the animal in and attempt to tear the arm from its body but the jaguar’s jaws bit down on his neck making it harder for him to keep his own teeth dug.

It didn’t stop his mindless ass from trying.

Even as teeth dug into his jugular he was chomping down on the jaguar. Blood filled his mouth with one more swipe of his jaw, Ford tearing away a small amount of flesh. A fraction of satisfaction filled him, spurring him forward even more to try and fill the void in his stomach that was only getting worse by the second. One hand came up to dig his fingers into the wound and pull to make it wider, tearing a larger chunk of the animal's body off to bring it to his mouth. 

Teeth tore flesh away from his body, and the jaguar yowled in pained rage. Fingers tore at the wound, trying to pry more flesh away. There was no more time for games, no more playing with his food; the jaguar needed to finish the job, or risk falling the way the dead balam he’d come upon the man killing had before him. He snapped his jaw down on the hand as it moved to the man’s mouth, teeth tearing through flesh and bone as he moved to remove the offending limb from the body. 

The man tasted like rot. The blood that found his tongue wasn’t sweet, the way it was meant to be. It was a bitter sludge, something that only served to make the jaguar angrier. With the man’s hand still trapped in his jaws, he flung his head to the side and released, throwing the man away from him. Before he could rise once more, the jaguar pounced, teeth going for his skull this time. 

A snarl left Ford’s lips as the jaguar’s teeth dug into his hand, the zombie not having gotten the flesh he had craved so badly. He was trying to yank it back out, his skin tearing with each pull of his arm, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was tasting the jaguar again. The feral cry didn’t ring out until Ford was thrown onto his back, closed hand that caged the jaguar’s flesh hanging from his wrist by only a few tendons. He wasn’t even paying attention to the cat, his other hand desperately prying fingers open to go for the pound of flesh still within them.

He’d just gotten another taste of his meal when the weight of the jaguar was on him again but Ford didn’t have time to react before those ferocious teeth dug into his temples. He tried to wrench himself from the hold, good hand once again reaching for the bleeding exposed muscle of the animal, but it was no use. His body stilled as the jaws clamped down tighter, the sound of his own skull cracking filling his ears before his eyes dimmed. Ford’s mouth kept going, moving slowly, still trying to bite the cat that had a hold on his friend but the rest of his fight was gone.

It was over the moment the jaguar got his jaws around the man’s head. The hand not barely hanging to its wrist continued clawing at his flesh, the mouth snapped uselessly where it hung, but there were few things that could escape a grip as strong as the one boasted in the jaguar’s jaws. Sharp teeth were built to destroy, strong jaws built to crush. Working together, they would do exactly that.

The jaguar tightened his jaw, pressing down, down, down as the skull creaked and cracked. It shattered all at once, a satisfying pop sounding as the jaguar’s jaw closed completely around it, teeth coming together with a snap. More of that bitter sludge coated his tongue, joined now by a gelatinous substance that tasted fatty and faintly sweet, albeit still a bit off from the usual experience. Like his blood, the man’s brain matter wasn’t quite what it should have been. The jaguar released his jaws, allowing the body with its ruined head fall at his feet. The man was unrecognizable now; his head was crushed past the point of looking much like a head at all, his hand still barely hanging on the end of his arm. 

None of this mattered much to the jaguar, of course; the cat didn’t recognize the man, even when there was more there to recognize. He cared little for the gruesome husk of something that had once been Felix’s friend. The chaos unfolding around him was far more important. The fire was still raging, and more and more of the people who worked on the farm were beginning to look as the man had — feral and desperate. Now injured, the jaguar knew he needed to get to safety.  Tail swishing behind him, the jaguar made a beeline towards the woods. There was little left for him here now, if there had ever been anything at all.

[chloesimaginationthings]

The ending of FNAF Help wanted..

[lunarwednesday]

Kindly Miquella... I see you've thrown away... Something you should not have... Under any circumstances.

[modernchemical]

taking turns

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[savanir]

DP x DC prompt [3]

during one of the final psych evals at Arkham right before he gets to be released, the whole thing wrapped up so tidy, just a little relapse which involved a robbery. Getting sent back to Arkham, but he got to stay at the asylum so long that he no longer has to serve a prison sentence, score!

But during that eval his overseeing psychiatrist recommended him to have a change of scenery, some fresh non polluted air.

Riddler was rather convinced the guy was making this recommendation to everyone in Arkham in their own weird way to convince them to just leave Gotham and become someone else's problem. should he notify Batman about it somehow? nah, it’ll be more interesting to see how this is gonna turn out in the long run.

But can he leave the state? Can he even leave the city? he never really bothered to look into it, at least not legally, up until now if he felt he needed to leave for one of his plans he just did it.

Turns out he can, it’s a whole hassle and a half though, first a judge and then a probation officer and he’s pretty sure both were like “what the hell is this psychiatrist guy thinking!?” but at the same time, shrink probably knows what he’s doing (WRONG) so he’s allowed to go visit out of state family or whatever.

he had to wear this nice ankle monitor though, Wayne Enterprises™ tech, not overly bulky but still very present. real fancy, and a fun extra challenge heh.

now as for a good reason to leave New Jersey he’s going to need distant relatives, and he finds some, great grandpa walker also has a son, who had a son who had a daughter Madeline, who married some guy Jack Fenton, and she lives somewhere out in the boonies Illinois. great he’ll visit her.

far enough away in all sense of the word that there is no way she knows anything about him. it would be best to call her first though, be polite about it.

“hello, you have reached Fenton works, this is Maddie speaking” 

“Riddle me this-” ah whoops, habit, oh whatever, “we don’t share parents, but certainly a part of your life, from laughter to strife. Who am I?”

there is a pause …  he’s going to be a bit disappointed if she hangs up if he’s honest.

“cousins~” comes the cheery reply.

“correct! the name is Edward Nygma, we are distantly related you and I and well-”

“oh you simply must come visit!” 

well this was rather easy, perhaps a little too easy, but she lives in the midwest so maybe just going with whatever some guy says over the phone is normal there? stranger danger not really a thing in a small town where everyone knows everyone?

things start to make a little more sense once he gets there and he’s starting to think some things might run in the family. like a preference for the colour green and weird hyperfixations and genius bordering on insanity. Though that remains to be seen, Jack does not seem like a very bright light after his very enthusiastic welcome.

their kids however are observant and sharp. young Jasmine is wasting no time trying to psychoanalyze him. and the boy, Danny, he had not really meant to and he swears he’s sticking with calling the kid Danny so he wouldn’t seem overly familiar, but he might have called him little bird a couple times now.

but that’s all whatever, he’s playing nice here. and he doesn’t even have to worry about his eccentricities tripping him up because this place is insane.

There actually is a local teen vigilante active but he seems about as loved as he’s disliked. and the ghost boy’s enemies are basically all his own kind, which another crazy thing to now know about. ghost. they are real actually, how is Gotham not completely overrun? and how do they even work? and where do they keep coming from?

Edward might be getting a little sidetracked here. He had fully intended to sneakily get his next big game plan underway all the way out here, ankle monitor be damned. but he hasn’t made any progress at all.

Instead he’s been listening to Madeline and Jack to maybe figure out what the deal is with these ectoplasmic entities, he has to know, at this point he might go crazier if he doesn’t. 

He’s making Jasmine promise him not to get her doctorate in Gotham, he’s going back and forth with space riddles with Danny.

so yeah the whole thing kinda just became a vacation, maybe the psychiatrist had the right idea after all? hmm nah, probably not. but this is fun. He’s thinking about recommending this place to some of the others.

It's different enough to get the vacation feel, but enough crazy shit happens to make it all feel like home.

it is not until Maddie wants to talk with him about potentially switching the position of godfather of Danny to him rather than some weird rich friend of theirs that Edward realizes he might have lost the plot somewhere

Apparently the little bird basically begged them with a powerpoint presentation on how he likes Edward so much more than that Vladimir guy. 

And honestly, the fellow sounds like a Dracula Lutho so even if it’s kinda sad Edward can understand why he’d be considered a better option. Even if the guy has more money and a huge company that makes him said money. And it’s not like the Fentons know about his Riddler activities.

Thinking it over, Edward does think that Danny would like Gotham and Wayne has that space program thing right? The kid is definitely smart enough for that (Nygma certified), and yeah Edward does quite like their space themed back and forth. So, fuck it, why not, what is the worst that could happen?

He doubts Maddie and Jack are gonna kick it any time soon anyway out here in the boonies, it’s just a title thing, a stamp of approval or something.

he should have known he was going to eat those words later… he had this whole beautifully elaborate trap set up for the whole Batclan, and he was just getting to the good part when his phone went off.

Had to put the whole thing on pause cause that particular contact wasn’t gonna get ignored. He did promise to be available.

If the whole thing he had planned now went tits up he could at the very least laugh later at the reactions of the bats as he told them to “hold up one second, I have to take this.” while they were all in various perilous positions. 

Sadly he did have to go, he had a very distressed godson to pick up.

[ofswordsandpens]

I fear that "fire bending didn't come easy to zuko" and "zuko isn't a prodigy" (both true) has somehow snowballed into "zuko is a bad or at best average fire bender".... which simply isn't true, especially by the end of book 3

[ruubesz-draws]

New comic series featuring the Godzilla Brothers and Mothra :) Will we finally get to see Minus One and Mothra's first meeting?

Stay tuned!

Part 1

I nearly made a dumbass mistake lol:

[gunstellations]

cute little requests!!

[togament]

𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄.

sakura, ume, suo, kaji, kiryu, endo, togame.

"ever imagined how it'd be like to be in the mood with them but damn it. You're separated by distance? Mhm. I got just the thing for you."

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: PHONE SEGGS UH OH!, language language swearing swearing, AFAB!reader, ume switchy :o, endo's a fucking menace :((((, TOGAMMMMEEEEEEE *howls!!!!! barks foaming at the mouth*, toy usage, your man straight up “jorking it” and by it haha well lets justr say his peanits, degradation on endo's part--general seggsy time stuff and needy boyfriends, NSFW STUFF MINORS DON’T INTERACT PLS.

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀.

✦ gotta guide him through it. At first, he didn’t really see the appeal of it. Why do it over the phone when you could meet up instead. ✦ but OH once he’s in the zone though, ONCE HE UNDERSTANDS? SEES THE LIGHT????? I’m wishing your pussy good luck because you’re doing it often. ✦ your phone rings sometimes at 2 am and you’re met with a panting Sakura. He sounds so apologetic too — he’s fought against calling you and just handling it himself. But he couldn’t help it. He has to call you. To hear you. ✦ “Strokin’ my cock right now. F-fuck m’sorry but can ya touch yourself for me too? Couldn’t get ya outta my head and I—ngh.. Need t’cum. Please, baby. It’ll be quick. Promise.” ✦ narrator’s voice: it was in fact, not quick at all. ✦ he likes sending over voicemails at night when he knows you're alone, when he's needy (which is often). ✦ it's mostly just of him panting into the receiver, recalling the events of the day and how each thing you did turned him on. You often end up sending each other voicemails to quench the thirst but god damn it. That doesn't come close to fucking.

𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀.

✦ another one of the ":o I don't see the appeal of phone sex when we could just see each other instead?" gang. He sees the vision real quick when you dropped something while you were talking though. You bent down to pick it up and let out a soft grunt. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering. ✦ BIG ON PRAISE. GRUNTS AND SIGHS INTO THE RECIEVER LIKE HIS LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. LOVES DOING IT WHILE HE'S LAYING DOWN, PANTS HURRIEDLY UNBUCKLED AND MESSY, SHIRT HAPHAZARDLY THROWN TO THE SIDE. PHONE WEDGED IN BETWEEN HIS CHEEK AND SHOULDER WHILE HE STARTS STROKING WITH ONE HAND AND THE OTHER TANGLED IN HIS HAIR, GRIPPING IT LIKE YOU WOULD--(gets dragged off stage kicking and screaming) ✦ big switch. He's Umemiya, after all. He's the feared and respected leader of the Bofurin for a damn reason. Very sweet when he's just in the mood on a random day, chuckling in between because that's just how the both of you are. It's fun! But when he hasn't seen you for a couple of days? Oh FUCK. When his voice would normally grow soft and whiney, has morphed into growled responses with him fucking his fist desperately, trying to remember how your cunt would swallow him whole. ✦ "G-Good girl, my good fuckin' girl. Filling your pussy up with that dildo you bought? Not good enough, huh?" he adds, grunting as he's imagining you fucking yourself with the dildo, panting and unsatisfied, knowing full well you need him filling you up instead. "I really miss you, babe. You'd look so pretty-gh-! Underneath me right now. So pretty." ✦ cums hard every time you're on call, grunting and wheezing out your name so desperately you almost feel like he's trying to summon you somehow. ✦ Thanks you for it too. It's cute!!! Ends with both of you cleaning yourselves up, still on call. You both often fall asleep together with your phones still on.

𝐒𝐔𝐎.

✦ you both call often. He just loves hearing your voice! Thing is, you never know when he's in the mood. But he somehow can tell whenever you are. What gave it away? Was it the way your breathing stilled when he let out a sigh when he stretched? Was it the way you tripped over your words when he lowered his voice just a tad? Was it when you were left speechless when he praised you for finishing a task you were putting off? Was his teasing working on you? Whoopsies. ✦ INSTRUCTIONAL WITH IT. He’s so good at directing you what to do. ✦ “Want you to imagine my fingers, dove. Why don’t you ease just two in for me? That’s my girl. Now curl them up a little. Keep your mind on me." ✦ you want him to feel good too :(((((( so you ask for him to do the same as you. Of course, he lets you beg a little first. Little did you know he was already fucking his fist before you even started. ✦ has one of your clothes or panties close by because he loves smelling them. He loves your scent. It helps him get off. Hell, he gets horny in public when he takes a whiff of your perfume. ✦ he gets more vocal when he cums and that’s when you KNOW for sure he’s jacking off while listening to you. String of expletives and grunts escape his lips while he spills onto his hand, dribbling down his knuckles while you’re riding out your high.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓.

𝐊𝐀𝐉𝐈.

✦ FILTHY. FILTHY. FILTHY. ✦ doesn't have much toys but he has a tenga flip and uses it whenever he calls you. Can’t just go full hand and lube. (Probably has a warmer for it too. Mhm. Yeah.) ✦ another "clothes stealer". Has stolen your panties and shirts a couple of times. ✦ you can hear the wet squelching through the phone whenever he thrusts. Whether it’s lube or his cum, you could never ever tell. ✦ AGAIN, FILTHY. SO SO SO SO FILTHY. ✦ “y’getting off to this, huh? Listening to me fuck my toy? Fuckin’ know you’re soaking wet for me now. Lemme hear it. Lemme hear my pussy.” ✦ “keep up with me. Don’t you fuckin’ cum until I say so.” He barks, but he ends up cumming before you. He’s still pumping his sensitive cock waaay after he’s released though. He wants to hear you fall apart. ✦ bites back his whimpers but when he cums? Jesus. He’s stuttering out your name, repeating it like a damn prayer.

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐔.

✦ HAS SO MUCH TOYS HOLY FUCK. ✦ he sends over photos of them before he calls, wanting you (yes YOU, dear reader!) to pick the toy of the night!!! ✦ he’d much prefer doing your mutual masturbation over facetime but you suggested a voice call. Who is he to deny his princess? ✦ always opens with a syrupy sweet, “How’s my baby?” and eases you into it with him. He never starts without you or without your express approval. If you’re suddenly not in the mood, he gets it. It happens sometimes. You guys could just talk instead. ✦ praise praise praise. Whispers the raunchiest and sweetest things to you. Talks you through it, guides you. HE’S WAY TOO GOOD. ✦ “Need my pretty princess right now. Need ya to sit on my face—taste so good. Fuck… Your pretty little moans too. I’m addicted.” ✦ “Remember when I did that thing you liked with my tongue? Yeah? Want you to do that on your clit with your fingers. Circle around it f’me, princess. Mhm.. Oh? Not good enough? Need my piercing on it? Naughty.” ✦ PORNOGRAPHIC MOANS. SO FUCKING PRETTY??? You’ve asked for his permission to record some of them. Of course he lets you. ✦ sends photos of the aftermath if you want him to. His cum on his still clenched abs, his trimmed happy trail, over his belly button piercing. Yum. ✦ HAS DEFINITELY POSTED ON GWA YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.(it’s JOI too :(((( he’s secretly dedicated some audios for you. May or may not have accidentally whispered your name in one of his jerk off with me audios too :(((((((( man I’m sobbing into my pillow. Nobody touch me.)

𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐎.

✦ you can’t look at this man and say he’s shit at phone sex. You can’t convince me otherwise. You just can’t. ✦ of course, he’s absolutely cracked at talking dirty to you. It’s always a mix of praise and degradation with him. ✦ he’d be happy if you just sent him nudes, really. But he’s over the moon once you suggested to do it over a call. Immediately is palming his hard on through his jeans while he’s waiting for you to pick up. Opens with a casual little, “hey, honey,” you wouldn’t know he’s practically going to town on his cock, hot to go. ✦ with how sweet he could be to you, he could be so, so fucking mean too. ✦ “My, my. That was such a pretty sound you just made. Wanna do that again for me? Wanna hear my pretty little cockslut begging for me while I fuck my fist. Yeaaah, just like that. Louder.” ✦ the type to send in voicemails at random times of the day. You know they’re exclusively for you since he’s practically chanting out your name while he fucks himself. You’ve made the mistake (plenty of times) of listening to some of them in public. Thank god your phone wasn’t on full volume but people definitely heard your boyfriend fucking his fist. ✦ you put him in his place when you get home by tying him down to the bed and edging him to hell and back and back again and back again and back again and—

𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.

✦ THIS MANNN…. He knows how to use his voice. He KNOWS HOW TO USE HIS VOICE SOMEONE HOLD ME THE FUCK BACK— ✦ he really doesn't like texting. So you both often call each other at the end of the day when you're apart. You're often apart too, with work and with it taking you to different cities. He's home alone at your apartment with your pets, with your clothes beside him on the couch. See where this is going? :-)) ✦ "Miss ya. Fuck, I really miss ya. Even the cats miss yer constant yappin'-" he teases and he's palming his cock through his gray sweatpants when he hears you shoot a clever quip at him. "Mhh-doll, I really do fuckin' miss ya. Especially when we wake up in the mornin'? Yeah. When ya press yer ass up against me, miss how ya know how to touch me just right-" "Jo, are you touching yourself right now?" he has the gall to chuckle. "Wanna see?" He was so ready to switch to facetime, to show you how he's lazily dragging his fingers up and down his throbbing cock, gray sweatpants pulled down just enough to pull it out. But you wanna stay on the call. You're rushing to your bed, hand in your shorts as soon as you lay down. ✦ likes dirty talking. LOVES when you talk dirty to him back. He's whispering phrases like, "mhm, yeah?", "what do ya want me t'do to ya when you get back?", "what else, angel?" prodding you on, urging you to express your deepest desires to him because he's NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY. (He knows you're as eager as he is too) ✦ wants to cum with you so he edges himself until you say you're almost there. Wants to match your pace and tries to by listening to your breathing, the rhythm of your moans. Never fails to tell you he loves you after he cums. ✦ promises a huge surprise for you when you get back :-)

a/n: THESE WERE SO FUCKING FUN TO DO RRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRHRHR!!!!!!!!!!!!! *insert werewolf ripping clothes open meme here* I hope you guys like it. The brainworms are wriggling mighty strong.

[potpourri-of-ecclecticism]

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS (2003) dir. Donald Petrie

[bittsandpieces]

tied up with a double ended dildo pressed into both our cunts, a vibrator in between us to grind against, unable to do anything but squirm against it while our dom stands back and watches

[bakerolivia]

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS ( 2003 ) ↳ dir. Donald Petrie

[stargazsblog]

how to lose a girl in 10 days | series masterlist

ryomen sukuna x fem!reader

ʚɞ ryomen sukuna is tall, devastatingly handsome, and the campus heartbreaker. everyone knows his name, and his reputation for leaving girls with broken hearts. but then there’s you uninterested and completely unimpressed by him. you’re the only girl who couldn’t care less about him. when his friends tease him about it, everything changes. they challenge him with a bet to make you, the one person who isn’t affected by his charm, fall in love with him in just 10 days, sukuna accepts the challenge, thinking it’ll be an easy win. it’s just a game, a way to prove he can get any girl he wants. but the more time he spends with you, he finds himself wanting something he never expected.

ʚɞ warning/tags: angst, fluff, romance, use of cigarettes and alcohol, jealousy, asshole sukuna, heartbreak, shy reader, inspired by how to lose a guy in 10 days, college au, enemies to lovers.

ʚɞ now playing - no. 1 party anthem by arctic monkeys

note: this is my first ever series and i’m so excited please be patient with me with the slow updates i promise you i’ll try my best! i will start writing in a week or so :) my taglist is also open!! <3

[filmtvtoday]

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS (2003) dir. Donald Petrie