#How does Porter manage to breathe without instructions

[adaines-furious-feast]

My thoughts are now the complete opposite. I love Jace, he's my bestie. But why would anybody with a positive modifier for Wisdom pick him and only him to help with their evil plan? You could have brought Colin Counterspell and it would have been about, no, more useful. How did he think this was going to go?

[timeagainreviews]

Sifting through the Dregs

For series twelve of Doctor Who, I have opted to take a casual approach. I've avoided spoilers as much as possible. Although I caught the trailers, and the odd press photo, I've managed to stay away from things as simple as episode descriptions, writers, or even episode titles. I want to come into each story with as little expectation as possible. This is so that I might avoid hype, both of the negative and positive varieties. So when I read the words "Part One," after "Spyfall," it was genuinely a surprise. And when I read the words "Orphan 55 by Ed Hime," I was suddenly very hopeful.

If you remember from series eleven, I was a big fan of Ed Hime's episode "It Takes You Away." I praised its brazen absurdity, likening it to something Douglas Adams may have done. The episode is rather divisive in the fandom, as some might call it one of the worst episodes ever. Obviously, I disagree. Ed Hime stands out to me as exactly the kind of writer Doctor Who needs. Someone with a bit of a taste for the absurd, while still managing to capture human moments. Ironic then, that despite my best efforts to approach the episode without expectation, the hype I would most contest with would be my own. Does "Orphan 55," live up to my expectations? Let's get into it!

As I said, Ed Hime lends a sort of mad weirdness to Doctor Who that I feel a certain section of writers possess. Think your Lawrence Mileses, your James Gosses, or even the occasional Steven Moffat. These are writers, who for better or worse understand one thing about Doctor Who- it's weird. Strangely, one of the common most aspects ignored by Doctor Who writers is the absurdity. A blue police box wrapped around an impossible machine, piloted by an ancient trickster somehow becomes mundane. Doctor Who's weirdness is an integral element that has been around since its inception. That's why when the gang gets teleported by a contest cube Graham has assembled, and the first person we meet is a furry, I feel we're already onto a good start. Especially when they just finished cleaning up the biggest calamari ever from the TARDIS floor. (Anyone else think of the Nestine Consciousness?)

Characters like "Hyphen with a 3" or "Hyph3n," remind me of some of the '80s era's odder characters. I could easily see her and her tail living in "Paradise Towers," or perhaps riding a bus in "Delta and the Bannermen." But another reason I love her is that she's not just a furry, it's part of her identity. You don't get the idea that she's an outlier like real-life Trekkie, Barbara Adams, who famously wore her Star Trek uniform to jury duty and her place of work. Instead, you get the feeling that in the future, people respect identities. To use Star Trek again, I remember watching an episode of "Star Trek: Enterprise," where the character Trip has a crisis over whether or not a girl "was a man." When you compare this to the dialogue we're having about transgender rights in 2020, you're automatically reminded that Enterprise came out in 2001. By today's standards, furries are still seeking acceptance. Seeing Hyp3n in a partial fursuit may seem absurd now, but in its own way, it's futuristic. How very Doctor Who.

Things in this future, however, aren't all progressive acceptance of our fine furry friends, there seems to be trouble in paradise. As I said, the gang is greeted by Hyp3n, a sort of porter for a relaxation destination called "Tranquility Spa." The companions immediately take to the spirit of things, as they settle in for a bit of rest and relaxation. The Doctor, of course, starts snooping around. Meanwhile, a security team of two, Kane and Vorm are responding to "another security breach." Whatever it is requires machine guns, which seems like quite a lot. And if you're like me you'll spend the next half hour trying to figure out where you've seen Kane before. I'll help you out- it was Lydia from Breaking Bad. You're welcome. I just saved you a trip to IMDb.

The next scene introduces us to a concept that will run strong within this episode- Yaz as a gooseberry. We see a couple of pensioners, Benni and Vilma, enjoying their spa getaway. Just as Benni is about to ask Vilma to marry him, Yaz stands right between them. I mean, I know the pool is for everyone, but read the vibe, Yaz. Jeez. Meanwhile, Ryan is checking out the interior of Tranquility Spa. The bar looks like the kind of place art vampires go to get lemongrass enemas. It reminded me a lot of "The Leisure Hive," with a budget, or even a more modern twist on the Centre of Leisure from "Time and the Rani. So much of this episode reminded me of classic Doctor Who.

Ryan notices a vending machine, but as he's retrieving his food is infected by a hopper virus. The Doctor explains the virus is capable of jumping from computers to humans. After expelling it from his system, the Doctor bags it to take to whoever is in charge. While Ryan is sucking his thumb to reduce the hallucinogenic side effects of the virus, he sees a cutie in a similar situation, a young woman by the name of Belle. It's pretty obvious at this point that Belle is to be a sort of romantic interest for Ryan, and who can blame him? She lives up to her namesake!

Everyone is rounded up for a "tranquillity drill," to a safe location while Kane and Vorm run through the lobby with their guns in tow. As with most companions, travelling with the Doctor embeds a deeper curiosity. Much like the Doctor would, Ryan questions what type of drill requires guns. This question entices Belle to follow him as they investigate. I really liked this pairing of the two of them as their chemistry was natural, despite Ryan's repeated failures at chatting her up. It only added to their charm.

The Doctor confronts Hyp3n who seems just about as confused and nervous as many of the guests. Whatever she's hiding is only because she's been instructed to by her superiors. Considering the hopper virus and drill, the Doctor deduces that the spa is under attack, and demands to know what they're hiding. Who would want to harm a spa? The spa has been using an ionic membrane to keep out unwanted visitors, visitors which appear to have breached the membrane. Now under a full-on attack by a group of monstrous beings, guests become casualties. Not only is the base under attack, but the viruses have also handicapped the systems, disabling the emergency teleportation devices. With everyone trapped the Doctor has to work fast to stop the killing, as well as survive.

Graham finds a pair of green haired servicemen in the form of Nevi and his son Sylas. Their entire character design once again had me thinking of classic Doctor Who characters such as the Swampies from "The Power of Kroll," or the Karfelon androids from "Timelash." I liked wondering if they were a kind of species that has naturally green hair, or if they had father/son hair dying nights. In this brief interaction, you learn that Sylas is the better mechanic between the two of them, but that Nevi does a bad job of acknowledging this. Graham gathers them and others to evacuate while Ryan and Belle hideaway in a sauna of sorts. While there, they confide in each other that neither of them is nearly as impressive as they initially led on, and the truth strengthens their bond.

Sadly, as Graham is rounding people up, Benni gets separated after backtracking to pick up Vilma's hat. As life signs extinguish across a computer screen, highlighting the trail of carnage, the Doctor finds a way to push back the onslaught. By repairing the ionic membrane, the creatures, known as Dregs, are physically pushed out of the spa by a force field. The crisis averted, the survivors search for the bodies of their loved ones. Much to Graham's relief, Ryan and Belle have both narrowly avoided the claws and teeth of an angry Dreg. Benni, however, is nowhere to be found.

After discovering a hole, which looks like a tear in reality, our heroes discover that Tranquility Spa is actually an illusion. A dome separates the spa from a hostile planet far too polluted to inhabit. This abandoned, or "orphan," planet is designated "Orphan 55." This is the reason guests are teleported to the spa- to cover up its seedy location. However, it would appear that whatever the Dregs are, they seem to be apex predators, able to survive the hostile environment of Orphan 55. And they want the spa and its inhabitants gone.

The Doctor makes Kane drive them out into the wasteland to find Benni, as his oxygen tank would allow him to survive outside of the dome for some time. It was a thin chance, but it might be enough to save at least one person among the carnage. I was really hoping for some silly "Moonbase," style helmets, but instead, we got these minimalist blue breath right strips across the bridge of the nose that linked to small wrist canisters as supplied by Nevi and Sylas.

The trip out onto the surface reminded me a lot of the great Russell T Davies episode "Midnight." And much like Midnight, the confined space of a vehicle traversing harsh conditions offers plenty opportunity to explore the people within. Remember how I said Yaz is a gooseberry? She wastes no time getting right between Ryan and Belle. I honestly can't tell what's going on between Yaz and Ryan at the moment. Last season, there was a bit of a "Will they or won't they?" vibe between them. But series twelve seems less interested in coupling them off. First, we had the Master and Yaz getting weirdly touchy-feely, which surprisingly never comes up again. And now we've got Yaz teasing Ryan in front of Belle like a jealous school girl. We learn that along with sucking their thumbs, Ryan and Belle also share having a dead parent in common, so that's something.

The vehicle picks up a bit of barbed wiring leaving it, as the Doctor put it- completely knackered. Keeping with the Midnight vibe, the surface of the planet is too dangerous due to monsters and killer sunlight. Afraid for her own self-interest, Kane wants to abandon the search mission, but a pleading Vilma begs her to continue looking for Benni. After callously accepting Vilma's necklace as payment, Kane agrees to continue with the rescue mission.  The crew abandon their vehicle and run for the safety of an underground service tunnel, but Dregs attack from every direction causing them to return to the safety of the vehicle. But that safety won't last long.

It's then that they hear Benni calling for Vilma. He asks her to marry him and then asks them to shoot him as well. It's a morbid moment as you realise the only reason the Dregs have kept Benni alive is to taunt the survivors and prolong his suffering. I don't really understand what the point of having them run back into the vehicle actually was. They basically run back out a moment later with the new plan of Kane and Vorm covering with gunfire. I don't understand why it was so important that they leave one location just to return moments later.

As Kane and Vorm blast Dregs, the rest of the crew run to the safety of the service tunnel. In the scuffle, Vorm dies, but Kane catches up just in time to open the tunnel. The entrance to this tunnel had me thinking of the opening of "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers." I kept waiting for Rita Repulsa to pop out and say "Ah! After 10,000 years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" They make it down into the tunnel where there is a short-range teleporter nearby. Vilma asks Kane if she saw what happened to Benni, and Kane coldly tells her not to worry, that she shot Benni as he requested. It's at this time that Belle steals Kane's gun. She reveals that Kane is her mother and that she's here for revenge for abandoning her and her father. Belle teleports back to the spa taking Ryan with her. Seeing as the teleporter only had enough juice for one go, the rest of the crew must go deeper into the tunnel to find their way back.

Back at the spa, Belle reveals a huge bomb she plans to use to blow up the spa. Poor Ryan, he just met this girl and already he's dealing with her baggage with her mum. I kid, but damn girl, take a guy to a movie first. It's lucky for the Doctor that this adventure isn't actually from the '80s. Had it been Ace in this position, she would have seen the bomb and said "Wicked!" while offering up Nitro 9 to add to the destruction. Instead, Ryan pleads with her not to blow up the spa, dooming everyone involved.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and crew discover a plaque written in Russian, cluing them in to the fact that not only is the planet abandoned, but it was also abandoned by humanity. Orphan 55 is in fact, Earth. This revelation hits Graham and Yaz hard, as they never imagined the fate of the world to be so ugly. Their grieving is cut short by the appearance of Dregs, who Vilma bravely sacrifices herself to, to save the others. The Doctor, at this time also appears to be running out of air. It appears that the ability to be the loudest talker isn't always helpful when oxygen preservation is to be considered.

The sole reason for her running out of oxygen serves only to discover the Dregs breathe out oxygen. She discovers this when she finds a Dreg conveniently hibernating within the tunnel. Why this is important is that it gives a bit of insight into the Dregs' motivation. Kane's big plan was to make a spa that slowly terraforms the planet, which would harm the Dregs. It also explains the trees seen on the surface of the planet. That or these trees are also apex predators able to adapt to anything. Using her Time Lord brain magic, the Doctor looks into the mind of the Dregs and affirms what she feared most- they evolved from humans.

Everyone has now made their way back to the spa. The Dregs are closing in and they need to fix the teleporter. We're treated to a series of people once again leaving and returning to the same location for the sake of upping the tension. Kane appears to sacrifice herself and Sylas gets in an argument with Nevi once more over being told he's not a mechanic causing him to run away. But both of them are ok, as they both return unscathed. Yaz and Ryan wheel Belle's bomb to try and take out a few of the baddies. It's kind of a clusterfuck if I am honest. Lots of characters get taken in and out of scenes merely to pad time and add to the tension. It's not egregious but could have been edited better.

Sylas appears just in time with a solution to use the hopper virus to convert fuel for the teleporter. I was happy they brought the virus back, even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense. Were the Dregs weaponising the hopper virus? Were the viruses remnants of human civilisation? Regardless, I’m glad they brought it back. Sadly, this entire end sequence acts as evidence that perhaps there are too many companions in the TARDIS at the moment. Graham's job is to stand over Nevi and Sylus saying things like "That's right lads!" Yaz and Ryan are basically running around doing busywork, while the Doctor and Belle are having a stand-off with a Dreg. The Doctor manages to equalise the air in the room so that it is mutually beneficial to keep her and Belle alive. What the Dreg breathes out, they breathe in, and vice versa. This stalemate allows them the ability to leave. With the teleports up and running, the Doctor and her crew are transported back aboard the TARDIS, but not before Belle steals a kiss from Ryan. Are she and her mother going to be okay? We're left to wonder.

The victory celebration is short-lived as the companions remember the fate of the earth. Now, I need to preface what I'm about to say with the following- I fully believe climate change is a thing. I say this because we need to talk about how Doctor Who handles the subject. I've seen a lot of people (see: morons) complain about when Doctor Who gets "too political." They seem to think anything they don't like is political. The Doctor being a woman is political to them. But as I said with episodes like "Rosa," and "Demons of the Punjab," it's not that Doctor Who shouldn't be political, it's that it's simply not very good at it.

I can appreciate that the message of climate change is a real and pressing matter, but the cautionary edutainment way in which they present the information was so cringe. It felt so unnatural and tacked on. In their desire to address the audience directly, they lose a level of reality that makes the dialogue seem fake. These scenes always feel badly acted to me, but it's the fault of the dialogue. There's no good way to break the fourth wall without also sacrificing the characters' voices. It's like one of those adverts where you have two people talking far too candidly about something like their period flow, or constipation. It's a way to disseminate information about a product or ideology, but don't mistake it for dialogue. Nobody talks like this.

All in all, this was your standard "base in peril," episode. While not as transcendent as "It Takes You Away," I believe Ed Hime has given us another solid episode of Doctor Who. It's hard for me to tell if Hime's ability to write action was wanting, or if it is simply the fault of the director, but it definitely suffers at points due to the janky pacing. Pacing has really been an odd sticking point for series 12, and I hope they work it out. Even still, I was hoping that after the two-parter of "Spyfall," we would get something a little more grounded. Having this odd little contained storyline with little homages to classic Who is actually more than I had hoped for. It also gave us a new character in Belle, whom I expect to see return eventually. And despite the heavy-handed and unnatural way in which they dealt with climate change, I understand that it's a family show. In keeping with classic Who, it aimed to be educational, and for that, I cannot fault it.

[fanfictionbeginagain]

Chapter Thirty-Two

If I had thought the paparazzi on the first day of the trial were bad, that was nothing compared to the second day.

Barriers had actually been put out on either side of the steps to the court house to keep them at bay. But it did little to stop them. Even with the barriers, Richard and my father had to flank me and Robb on either side just so we could make our way up the steps and into the court house.

“Who were all those people mum?” asked Robb once we were inside.

“Nobody bud.” I told him.

“Why are we here?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure if it was because I was so on edge, but Robb seemed to be asking a lot of questions today and I had very little patience to answer them.

I held one of Robb’s tiny little hands in mine and Richard held the other. I could barely speak let alone tell my son what was going on. I wanted so badly to protect him, to shield him from what was going to happen today but I knew I couldn’t.

“We’re just here because some people want to ask you some questions ok?” said Richard stepping up to answer his questions when it became obvious that I couldn’t.

“Ok.” Robb agreed.

“And no matter what, you have to tell the truth.” He told him seriously.

“I won’t get in trouble?”

“Not at all.”

“But what if I tell a lie?”

“Then you’ll get in trouble.”

“Now the man is just going to ask you some questions and you just answer them ok?” instructed Richard as we walked along the corridor towards the court room.

I was in such turmoil that I hadn’t been able to stomach any breakfast. Everything had me on edge and I was ready to spring into protective mode at any moment, a feeling that came in handy when I spotted the three wives standing outside the court room.

They looked over at me with a glare, then their eyes drifted downwards to Robb. I immediately bent down and picked him up, needing him closer to me. I needed to shield him from their gaze. I needed to know he was protected and safe in my arms.

I felt as if I could hear and see things on a different level, even my smell was heightened. We may have been outside but I could very clearly smell the perfume that the wives were wearing and it made me feel sick. Thank god there was nothing in my stomach or I feared I would have thrown it up right then and there.

“You ok bud?” I asked turning to look at him.

“Yeah.” He smiled.

Sometimes I envied his innocents. I envied the fact that despite the grim faces around him, he was still able to smile. A little ray of sunshine in my dark and dreary life.

“There are a lot of people here.” He commented, “Do I have to speak in front of all of them?”

“Yeah you do bud.” Said Richard.

“I don’t want to.” He pouted.

I felt as if a knife was being twisted in my stomach, everything was made far worse when I realized that Robb wanted to speak about as much as I wanted him to speak. I hated to make him do something against his will, but I had no choice. And I hated that.

“I know.” Said Richard, biting his lip regretfully, “But its really important that you do ok? You think you can be a big brave man and answer the questions they’re gonna ask you?”

“Ok.” He said quietly.

“That’s my man. High five.” Said Richard, holding his hand up for Robb to smack, which he did, smiling once more.

Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his cheek and held him close. I had never wanted in that moment anything more than to have Robb be protected from what was about to happen. From the wives’ glare and Jonah’s smile, from his lawyer’s questions and accusations.  

But there was nothing I could do and before I knew it, Robb was sitting up on the stand as the states lawyer approached him.

“Hey there Robb,” he smiled, “Can you tell me how old you are?”

“I’m six and a half.” He replied.

“Excellent. And what do you want to be when you grow up?” he asked.

“I want to be a Knight.” He smiled.

“Do you go to school Robb?”

“Yes.”

“What grade are you in?”

“I’m in the first grade.”

“Do you like school?”

“Sometimes.”

“What do you like about it?”

“I like maths and I like recess and play times.”

“What don’t you like about it?”

“I don’t like some of the other kids. They’re mean.”

“Objection, what does this have to do with anything?” demanded Jonah’s lawyer.

“Your honour I’m just trying to make sure my witness feels comfortable enough to answer what will potentially be some difficult questions.” Said the states lawyer.

“Over ruled.” Said the judge.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was glad that the lawyer was taking the time to make Robb feel at ease. Not that any amount of comfort on his part could make me feel any less horrible about the situation.  

“Robb, can you point your mum out for me? Can you show me where she is in the room?” he asked.

Robb pointed his little finger and me and smiled. I attempted to smile back in what I hoped was a comforting way, but I could barely manage to lift one side of my mouth in a half a smile that did not reach my eyes.

“Can you show me where your dad is?”

I felt my body become unbearably tense as I waited for Robb to answer the question. A part of me feared that he would point to Jonah. That despite all the lies I had told him, he would somehow know that his real father was not Richard, but the man sitting in a pair of handcuffs.

My stomach went into knots and I felt bile raise in my throat once more.

Robb pointed to Richard and smiled.

I swallowed back down what had been rising in my throat and tried to remain calm. Every moment he was up on that stand being questioned was absolute torture for me. I had fought so hard to protect him from all of this and now it felt as if all my efforts had been in vain.  

“Now Robb can you tell me who that man is over there?” asked the lawyer pointing to Jonah.

I tensed up as I saw Robb turn to look at Jonah, who had the audacity to smile. How dare he smile at my son! How dare he look so lovingly at a boy who he would have killed once he got too old!  

“That’s Jonah.” Replied Robb.

“And how do you know Jonah?”

“We used to live with us.”

“I see and did Jonah ever hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did he ever hurt your mummy?”

“Yes.”

I felt all the colour drain from my face as fear clutched at my stomach. I had always been so careful to hide Robb and to keep quiet whenever Jonah visited. How did he know he hurt me?

“When did Jonah hurt your Mummy?”

“He used to come into our house. I was supposed to be asleep in the wardrobe but I wasn’t.” said Robb.

I shook my head; this couldn’t be happening. This could not be happening!

“What did Jonah do to your mummy?”

I begged and pleaded in my head for him not to answer. I wished I could somehow take back the question he had been asked, but it was too late.  

“He was on top of her in the bed and he was hurting her.” Said Robb seriously.

Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I realized just how spectacularly I had failed. I had failed to shield him from the horrors that had happened to me in the compound and now I couldn’t even shield him from the lawyer’s questions. I would have lived another five years in the compound if it meant that Robb had never seen what Jonah did to me.

“Did he do this a lot?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ever tell your mum about it?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was supposed to be asleep. I didn’t want to get in trouble.” Said Robb, glancing at me fearfully.

I couldn’t even offer him a reassuring smile as tears spilled down my cheeks.

Our lawyer finished up his questions and it was time for Jonah’s lawyer to question him.

“Now Robb, you know you have to tell the truth don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“That you’ll get in a lot of trouble if you lie.” He added.

“Yes.”

“Its against the law to lie, isn’t it Robb?”

“Yes.”

He nodded, seeming satisfied.

Already I was imagining how Jonah’s lawyer would twist whatever Robb said, just how he had twisted what I said, to make it seem like Jonah was innocent. That he was the victim. That he had done nothing wrong…

“Robb, do you recognize these women over here?” he asked, gesturing to the wives.

“Yes.”

“Who are they?”

“They are the others who lived in the camp with us.” He replied.

“And were they nice to you?”

“No. They didn’t let me play with their kids.” He pouted.

“Did they ever hurt you?”

“No.”

“So,” began the lawyer and I began to get a horrible feeling as I realized he was up to something, “Did you like living in the camp?”

“Yes.”

“You liked being there with your mum and Jonah?”

“Yes. But not with Jonah.”

“You don’t like Jonah?”

“No.”

Jonah’s smile slipped from his face.  

“You never felt unsafe or thought anyone would hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did you want to leave the camp when you did?”

“No.”

My heart leapt into my throat as I went over the last question and what Robb had just said; did he just say he didn’t want to leave the camp? Had he just said he liked living at the camp?

“Thank you Robb, you can go back to your seat now.”

Jumping down from the podium, Robb rushed over to us. My mother was the one to greet him, she took a hold of his hand and lead him outside of the court room. He had done his part and I didn’t want him in the court room any longer than he had to be.

I couldn’t even look at him as he walked passed me as I was still trying to process everything that had happened, the two most prominent problems being that he knew Jonah had hurt me and that he had not wanted to leave the compound.

Once he left, Jonah’s lawyer spoke again.

“This woman,” he said, pointing a long, accusatory finger at me, “Ripped her son away from the only home he had ever known. A place which, in his own words, that he liked. A place he had grown up in and come to know as home. A place where he was never hurt by anyone. A place where he felt safe. She took him away from his family and his father without consent and forced him into a word that he was not ready for. The doctors own evaluation showed that Robb had trouble adjusting to living life outside of the camp. If we were not on trial here to acquit my client of the foul accusations made against him, I would argue for a case of child mistreatment.” He said.

“Objection! Miss Porter is not on trial here,” interrupted the states lawyer but Jonah’s lawyer paid him no mind.

“She has acted selfishly and not in the best interest of her child and now sits there, accusing the man’s rightful father of crimes too heinous to mention with no evidence. She is unfit to be a mother and unfit to give testimony.”

I sat in my seat, frozen in place as I listened to the lawyer’s accusations against me. I’d seen enough law shows to know what he was doing, he was trying to paint me as an unreliable witness so that whatever testimony I gave against Jonah would hold no weight and the judge would not listen to it.  

I wasn’t frozen in disbelief or even anger at what the lawyer was saying. It was far worse than that because with his words, he had planted a seed in the back of my mind. One that had gnawed away at me ever since that first morning in the hospital when I had introduced Robb to the outside world, with things such as windows and mirrors confusing him so deeply.

I was frozen because the terrible question was raised, had I done the right thing leaving the compound?

Hearing the words in my mind and having my own doubts was one thing. But to hear it from Robb that he had liked living in the compound made me begin to realize that I had done exactly what he had accused me of.

I had put my wants and needs above Robb’s and I had taken him away from the only place he had ever known as home. I took him away from everything that he knew, which he obviously resented me for.

I’d thrust him into a world he knew nothing about and yes, at the start he did have trouble adjusting. But I thought that we were over that now. He was going to school, he had friends just like any other little boy. Had that all been so wrong for him? Would it have been better to let him stay in the compound? In the world he know and obviously missed?

In that moment, I agreed with him; I was unfit to be Robb’s mother. All the decisions I had made to try and make his life better had only made it worse. He was right. Why had I stayed there so long? Was it because I could see how happy Robb was and I didn’t want to take him away from that?

What had I done?

                                                    …

As soon as we got home, I went and took a shower.

My muscles had been so tensed throughout the whole day that I needed to relax under the hot spray of the shower and process everything that had happened today.

There was also the fact that my clothes had become unbearably tight and scratchy and I practically ripped them off as I stepped into the shower.

Alone and with the water running down my back, I thought about everything today. I thought about everything that Robb had said and everything that I had felt. The nausea, the sickening smells, my fierce instinct to protect Robb… from going to being angry one moment and sad the next…

I stayed in the shower so long that the water turned cold. Which seemed to shock my senses that had previously been slow walking into rapid motion. I turned off the shower as the wheels in my head slowly started to turn. I felt as if the answer to something was right in front of me, yet I couldn’t quite believe it.

Wrapping myself in a towel, I ripped open the medicine cabinet in search of what I needed. I’d forgotten about everything else in the world except the answer to the on question that was burning in my head…

But I couldn’t be right could I?

I had to wait. I had to wait an increasingly long amount of time to find out. But I waited. And then I didn’t have to wait anymore and I knew; I had my answer.

“Melanie, are you ok in there?” asked my mother, gently knocking on the bathroom door.

“Yes.” I called, my voice robotic.

I had finished up my shower ages ago and now sat on the toilet wrapped in a white towel, shivering against the cold.

But I needed that, I needed to feel the cold. I needed to feel my wet hair dripping down my back as I sat there because everything suddenly seemed so unreal.

Everything that had happened today had just been a nightmare.

Robb had not taken the stand. Robb had wanted to leave the compound as much as I did. I had done the right thing in escaping from Jonah and the wives. I was a good mother to Robb. I was a good mother… I was a good mother… I was a good mother…

I kept repeating that phrase in my head over and over again, desperately trying to believe it because that was the biggest concern I had in that moment. Was I a good mother? Had I done right by my son?

I needed to know the answer to that question as I stared down at the little stick in my hand because it told me that I was about to become a mother again.

[tea-and-procrastination]

Please can you write a berena fanfic where they help Dom after all of his abuse? X

[In this the accident still happened as in canon butEllie was checked over by someone more senior than Jasmine so couldn’t wriggleout of any tests, meaning her symptoms were picked up sooner and she thereforesurvived.]

Bernie visits Dom while he’s onKeller, a patient on his own ward, has to swallow down guilt and bile when shesees him.  She realises she’s been socaught up in supporting Serena while Ellie is in rehab and Jason is recovering,in running their ward alone and leaving exhausted only to go home to be metwith Serena’s fury at Edward’s knowledge of their daughter’s drug habit andgrief at not having known anything was wrong, that she didn’t realise how badthings were with Isaac.  But Dom’s eyesplead with her not to pity him so she says nothing, just asks him what hisplans are for when he’s discharged.

‘Zosia’s offered me their sofa,’he says with a slight shrug.  ‘Not sure Ireally want to enter the love shack though.’

A nurse comes to do his obs then,so Bernie just smiles tightly and tells him she’ll drop by again soon and goesback down to AAU to finish her shift, unable to stop thinking about how she’sfailed her friend.

She’s still thinking about him atthe end of the day when she goes to Serena’s (she still thinks of it asSerena’s and not yet theirs, for all that she spends almost all her nights anddays off there).

Serena is doing better now, withtime and therapy, with both Jason and Ellie improving and Bernie still besideher.  She watches as Bernie’s hands twistand makes herself ask what the matter is, even though despite all Bernie’sassurances that she’s not going anywhere she still fears the answer.

‘It’s Dom,’ Bernie says quietly.  ‘I want to help him.’

Serena feels filled with relief,feels her heart melt a little.  ‘Ok,’ shesmiles.  ‘How?’

‘Um, well,’ Bernie hesitates.

Serena moves closer, touchesBernie’s arm and looks at her steadily until Bernie glances up from behind herfringe.

‘Do you think,’ Bernie sayscarefully,’ do you think maybe he could come and stay for a bit, once he’sdischarged?  If Jason agrees too, ofcourse.’

They talk about it together whiledinner cooks, talk about it with Jason once they’ve eaten.  And the next morning Bernie slips up toKeller again, and the next evening when she and Serena leave Dom walks betweenthem to the car.

*

He hears them arguing, theevening after he’s moved in.  Or ratherhe hears Serena’s raised voice and the smash of a plate against the wall, andflinches.  He can’t hear Bernie, feelsthe urge to pelt down the stairs and check on her, check Serena hasn’t hurther, but he can’t move.  Instead hecowers on the bed, draws his knees up to his chin and hugs them tight, screwshis eyes shut and waits for it to be over.

He’s still there when there’s atap on his door, and Jason calls to him that it’s time for dinner.

‘But they were fighting,’ hesays, wishing his voice was less small, wishing he sounded less scared.

‘No,’ Jason says calmly.  ‘Auntie Serena had to speak to Edward – herex husband, cousin Elinor’s father – today. He always makes her angry.’

‘And Bernie?’

‘Auntie Serena would never hurtBernie,’ Jason says surely, and even this quickly Dom has learnt that hedoesn’t lie.  ‘She loves her.’

‘Dinner’s on the table,’ comesBernie’s voice up the stairs.  It soundsutterly normal, and Dom manages to uncurl himself and follow Jason down.

Bernie offers them both a smile,waits until Jason has gone into the kitchen and murmurs, ‘Sorry,’ under herbreath.

‘It’s fine,’ Dom replies, but shecan clearly see the lingering fear and worry in his eyes.

‘She wasn’t aiming for me,’Bernie reassures him.

Serena sticks her head around thedoor then, and he can see that she’s been crying.  Bernie reaches out to her, catches at herhand and at her eye.

Dom glances between the two ofthem.  There’s no malice there, no fear,nothing but love and trust, and with a tremble his shoulders drop a little.

‘I’m sorry, Dominic,’ Serena sayssoftly.  ‘I’m afraid my ex husband is notin my good books, and my crockery is bearing the brunt.’

‘Jason said,’ he replies.  ‘Not about the crockery, about Edward.’  He makes his lips curve up in a facsimile ofa smile, knows he isn’t fooling either of them but they let it go, head intothe kitchen still hand in hand leaving him to follow.

*

Serena takes care of him, in away that should feel smothering but instead is a comfort; he wonders if she’strying to compensate for all the things she thinks she did wrong with her owndaughter.  Bernie takes care of him too,in a way that is far more maternal than he would ever have expected, but thenhe thinks of her relationship with her children and thinks she’s probablycompensating too.  

He’s a terrible patient, heknows, but in the face of their combined power mostly behaves himself.  He’s a terrible houseguest too, knows he’sriling Jason, which in turn riles Serena and then Bernie, but can’t stophimself.  Eventually Bernie hands him hertherapist’s card with a look that strongly recommends he use it.

‘You go to therapy?’ he scoffs indisbelief, even though he’d been desperate to go with him.

‘Working wonders already,’ shesays with the slightest of smiles, and he huffs but calls the next day.

It can only last so long, though;it’s clear this isn’t a workable long, or even medium, term solution for any ofthem but for Jason in particular, and no one doubts that he will always comefirst for Serena.

‘Maybe he could stay in my flatfor a while,’ Bernie suggests nervously, hands shoved deep in her pockets.  ‘Could live there while he sorts himself outand finds a place of his own?’

‘Small flat,’ Serena says.  ‘Doesn’t have a guest room from what Irecall.’

‘No,’ Bernie mutters, looking ather toes, fingers fidgeting with the lining of her pockets.  She thinks the implication is too much,thinks she’s mucked up, pushed too far.

‘I think that’s a wonderfulidea,’ Serena smiles, and Bernie gazes at her in disbelief.

They talk to Jason first, andthen to Dom.  And then Bernie packs upsome more of her things and takes them to Serena’s, takes Dom and Zosia to boxup all of his things and leaves him to settle in, tells him to call if he needsanything, makes sure he has the landlord’s number in case the boiler plays up.

And then she goes back toSerena’s.  She’s at work, so Berniespends time with Jason and cooks dinner under his watchful eye, makes sure shefollows the instructions to the letter. It feels odd, even though she’s done this countless times since NewYear.

It feels odd getting into bedwith Serena too.  She feels like maybethis is too much too soon – too fast, too much commitment, too clichéd.  But Serena just snuggles close and presses akiss to her clavicle and says how nice it is to fall asleep like this, andBernie doesn’t feel itchy any more, finds she can unwind and kiss the crown ofSerena’s head and close her eyes without being overtaken by panic.

*

Dom doesn’t have anyone to movein with, with Arthur gone and Zosia and Ollie together.  And he finds he likes living alone, likesthat there’s no one to complain about his mess, his magazines, his habits.  He looks, he does, but can’t find anything asnice and as reasonable as Bernie’s, nothing worth considering moving for eventhough there’s a constant niggle that maybe Bernie is missing her space, herbolt hole.  

Sometimes he thinks he’s doingher a favour, forcing her to live with Serena, to confront any problems ratherthan running from them.  Other times he thinksmaybe he’s causing there to be too much pressure on her, on them, that thingswill come to a head and the happiness they’re both clearly feeling, despiteeverything, will end and it’ll all be his fault.  But when he tries to finagle anything out of Bernieshe just smiles softly and says that everything’s fine, tells him not to worry.  And when he mentions it to Serena on a rareoccasion when she’s up on Keller she says much the same, pats his shoulder andtells him to take as long as he needs.

They have him over for dinnermost weeks, when their schedules will allow. He and Jason became friends, of a sort, even if they couldn’t surviveliving together, and Jason likes seeing him for bounded periods of time.  Sometimes Morven comes too, or Zosia, or Jasmine,even Cam on the odd occasion he’s in Holby. Dom sees for himself how comfortable they are together, how they havebecome sickeningly domestic so quickly but without losing that spark (he walksinto the kitchen one evening to find them pressed against the sink snogging,Serena’s hands sunk deep into the back pockets of Bernie’s jeans, turns on hisheel and beats a hasty retreat without the beer he came in for).

*

And then they have a fight.  Dom doesn’t know what it’s over but it sends Bernieup to the roof for a fag despite the fact that she’s quit, sends Serena into arage that scatters juniors and porters, rumours flying around the hospital withthem.  Dom fully expects Bernie to call,to tell him she needs her bed back, or at least her sofa.  

She doesn’t.

At the end of his shift he daresto leave via AAU, finds the ward subdued but not terrified.  Finds the two of them in their office inawkward but not hostile silence, watches unobserved through the open blinds asthey glance up at each other with hesitant, apologetic smiles.

He leaves without saying a word.

*

‘I know it’s probably too soon,’Serena says one Sunday morning as they’re sitting drinking their tea.  ‘And I don’t want you to feel trapped oroverwhelmed or like you have to run,’ she adds, one hand wrapped around her mugand the other toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck.  ‘But I can’t fathom you not being here.  Can’t fathom you not living here.’

Bernie stares at her silently,taken aback.  Grips her own mug a littletighter and blinks.  Serena’s eyes flickup to hers, then down at the scattering of toast crumbs around her plate.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–‘

‘I can’t fathom it either,’Bernie interrupts, voice found.

Serena exhales, a relieved little‘oh’, meets her eye again, reaches to meet the hand Bernie offers half way.

‘Are you asking me to move inwith you, Campbell?’ Bernie asks playfully.

The Serena of before would havethrown back some witty, sassy, teasing comment. But despite her job, that Serena didn’t fully understand how fleetinglife is, how quickly happiness can be wrenched away.  Hadn’t lost her love to the other side of thecontinent, hadn’t almost lost her daughter and her nephew in one terriblenightmare of a day.  So instead all shesays is, ‘Yes’.  Says it with a gentlesmile and a rub of her thumb across Bernie’s knuckles and a warmth in her eyes.

‘Well then,’ Bernie smiles inreturn.  Because Bernie has always knownhow fleeting life and happiness are, has spent her life being fleeting, running from things that are too big and meaningfuland permanent to comprehend, running to places where all there is isimpermanence.  But now she’s foundsomething she longs to keep tight hold of, has found she longs to put downroots here, with this woman.  They’vebeen through hell together so far this year, are starting to come out the otherside with the support of each other and their colleagues and therapy.  Bernie knows she would rather face anythingthe world throws at them together, would rather walk through hell all overagain with Serena’s hand firmly clasped in hers than take the easy, cowardlyoption she always used to favour.

When Dom comes out of theatre andchecks his phone it’s to find a text from Bernie, asking if he’s interested intaking on the lease.

‘Only if I still get a standinginvitation to dinner ;),’ he replies. ‘And if you take that hideous throw with you.’

[thenonmumbaikarnomads]

Trekking, is it worth it?

Putting the experience of the Hamtpa Pass trek into words is going to be a task. Those truly fascinating mountains, those vast valleys, those green pastures and those stary nights it’s almost impossible to pen them down. It is sometimes a bit too much for one to comprehend how beautiful our country is. No pictures can ever do justice to what one witness’ and experiences during a trek. 

Its all such a humbling experience, with no basic amenities like toilets, comfy beds or electricity you tend to wonder how it would be to lead such a life. Well wouldn’t you choose camping with your friends and talking about life under the stary night sky over a night at a pub?

The trip starts off with us taking a ride through 14 hair pin curves upto the starting point of the trek Jobra. From Jobra we had an hour and a half long hike to Chikka where we would pitch tents for the night and acclimatize. The basecamp at Chikka was by river Rani, where we spent the evening sitting by the river looking at a shepherd successfully herd almost a thousand sheep to safety while admiring the view overlooking our basecamp.

We woke up early to catch the sunrise and begin our trek to Balu ka ghera which was our basecamp for the next night. The day’s trek is beyond mesmerizing and it never fails to impress you! Every turn, every climb is rewarded with an equally jaw dropping view.

We couldn’t curtail our excitement as we walked over some partially melted glaciers and walked into the vast lush greenlands of Bhalu Ka Gera.  The vast pastures with horses and sheep grazing on it, patches of bright flowers and the mist made the valley look heavenly. We were now completely isolated from the world, it was just us among these majestic mountains.  We pitched our tent by the flowing stream, which was also our source of drinking water and sat down to play a game of cards. 

We usually hit bed early because we were tired and have to start early for the trek next day, also once it got dark we couldn’t do much there. My sleep was disturbed due to slight ruffling sounds I heard outside the tent. It was bright outside; I assumed that it was morning so I zipped open the tent to find Sinclair standing in the backdrop of a moonlit valley! It was a full moon night and the mountains looked so beautiful that we couldn’t help staying up. We woke up Mac and celebrated his birthday in style!

We had a long day ahead; today was the longest, hardest and probably the most beautiful leg of the trek. We would be walking over glaciers to cross from the lush green Kullu valley onto the barren landscape of Lahul and Spiti on passing Hampta! Its almost magical how the terrain completely transforms on crossing Hampta pass. 

We down sat at Hampta pass for a panoramic view of snowcapped mountains and had our lunch overlooking these majestic mountains. The altitude really gets to you; this is where I experienced a few symptoms of AMS. From here on the trek is downhill, and every step I took had a thumping effect on my head. After covering a considerable distance downhill we arrived at the plains of Saigru. 

Just when we thought that nothing could get better than the campsite at Balu Ka Ghera we were proven wrong. Our tents were again pitched by the river but the dry barren mountain ranges coupled up with green grasslands made this campsite our favorite! We enjoyed the sunset by looking at this astonishing view of mountain ranges and let nature do its thing at the magic hour. 

Here the temperatures do drop significantly at nights and no place seemed more comfortable than the warm and cozy kitchen tent. We sat down with the cook, guide and porters for dinner and a long night of conversation over a few drinks to bring the night to a close. 

The next morning we were instructed to cross the freezing cold river we camped by in order to complete the last leg of our trek. The water was colder that we could imagine, the melted glacier water was now freezing our feet! We took long strides and tried to make it across the river quickly without getting ourselves completely drenched. ‘The struggle was real.’

After a good hour or two of trekking we finally saw signs of civilization, we crossed over a bridge and reached our campsite Chatru. Our campsite here was weirdly behind a small restaurant/ store. We picked up a few snacks for the night, became best friends with the man’s best friend and braced ourselves for the cold night ahead. 

A sumo was ready next morning to take us to the moon lake aka Chandrataal. The drive was long, bumpy and scary but the scenery overly compensated for it. The river looked absolutely gorgeous, while flowing it created different patterns through the valley making it seem like God was painting on his canvas. You would instantly relate it to something you may have seen on Chris Burkard’s page.

The drive no longer felt like we were in India, it felt like we wondered our way into Tibet.  We stopped over for lunch at a small Tibetean restaurant where they cooked some homemade mutton curry with rice. We were sold! We were on a vegetarian staple diet since the last 6 days and we were itching to get our hands on some meat. Hands down, it was the best meal during the entire trip! 

I haven’t been to a lot of lakes to say that this was the best lake out there, but I would find it hard to believe if I would get to see a prettier lake than Chandrataal. 

The lake is so pristine and divine that you would just want to sit on the banks on the lake and just look at the mountains across the turquoise blue waters while breathing in fresh air!

We spend an ample amount of time admiring the beauty of this lake and took a lap around the lake. Just when we were about to leave we noticed a few Isreali’s swimming in the lake. It looked like a good opportunity to sneak in a quick dip after 5 days of trekking. I wouldn’t say that it was the best idea to do so but it was a good experience. Why? Well because we were in the Himalayas and the water is freezing cold up there! 

After a quick refreshing dip we head towards our campsite a couple of kms away from the lake. We pitched up our tents and waited for nightfall.  It wasn’t too long before the sky started to look like an image from Nat Geo cover! The entire sky was studded with little freckles of white and in the center of the sky was a huge f**king milkyway! I have never seen those many stars in my life, Never! The sky looked phenomenal. It was now freezing cold outside, but every second out there looking at that milkyway made it feel like it was worth it. 

We trekked for 5 days covering almost 35 kms, we walked over glaciers, trekked in the lush green valleys of Kullu, hiked through the deserts of Lahual & Spiti in scorching heat and slept through blistering cold nights for a moment like this. Just for a moment where we stood below a sky full of stars! Worth it, ain’t it?

What makes this trek one of the best ones out there? The Hampta pass trek does manage to check off a lot more than other treks in Manali can. Firstly it’s a pretty short trek of about 35 kms which can be completed by anyone who has a basic level of fitness. 

Secondly, Hampta pass is one of the most surreal passes in India, you climb from the green lush valleys of Kullu onto the deserts of Lahaul valley, Spiti. The transformation in the landscape would definitely blow you away.

And finally, you get to visit Chandrataal lake!  Tucked somewhere within the vast valleys of Spiti is Chandrataal lake, the trek concludes at Chatru from where you can take a jeep ride to Chandrataal lake. The lake has a panoramic view of mountains from all directions which is overlooking a turquoise blue lake

My advice….. If you love to trek, aren’t super fit to do a long distance trek and want to witness different terrain, stop reading this and start planning for your next trip to the hills! 

[shalegas34]

bizarre love triangle chapter 8

Macquarie was subdued on the return journey. He looked over my slides on the bus and told me they were an easy read, which was a big ego boost.

Bry and his friend hadn't talked any more about the mine, besides to pay out 'that jackass Kostler', so I'd had three hours to myself to mull over what I had heard, and I’d drawn a conclusion or two.

Neither Macquarie nor I brought up Kittle Downs again until after Monday's investor presentation, which went without a hitch. I highlighted Northstar's 70% stake in the Wattle project, which would have a 5-year mine life and add 274,000 tonnes of contained copper (about 50% of existing reserves) to Northstar's assets. I suggested, as Macquarie had instructed me, that the investors' funds would be used to acquire the partner's 30% and develop Wattle to the point of production. This even managed to appease Jamie Sykes, who was actually smiling by the time Macquarie finished feeding him sweet refrains during question time.

The unicorns and rainbows vanished immediately once the video conference ended.

"Northstar isn't developing Wattle," Macquarie said to me without even pausing for breath. "Johann Kostler didn't have a fucking clue what I was talking about. He says any new work is at least two years off."

I'd been preparing for this since that afternoon in pub. "So call off the deal," I forced my voice to stay steady. I still felt like a fraud being firm about business, especially to Macquarie.

He shook his head and spoke some well-rehearsed words. "I can't go against Sally. She knows what she's doing."

I took a deep breath and pushed on. "You really can't live without the discounts? What does your return go from, 30% to 28?"

"2% is a big deal," Macquarie lied through his teeth.

"This is personal for Sally. Don't let her screw you over." These words sounded familiar.

"How can you say that?" Macquarie said, sweating.

This was it. Now or never. "Sally only wants the money for the water treatment plant, to keep the mine open." I remembered to breathe. "Her son wants to raise a family in Kittle Downs."

Macquarie looked like he'd been hit by a truck. His mouth fell open without resistance. Heavy silence settled over the room.

"But, um..." My reserve had flown. "Water treatment doesn't make profits. So she had to tell you a different story."

Macquarie didn't reply, and the pursued expression lingered on his face. Eventually he said shortly and without emotion, "The deal goes ahead."

I opened my mouth to question this shock stonewalling, but Macquarie had risen to his feet. "Just let it go, Aurizon," he snapped.

I let him go.

---

I arrived at the office on Wednesday morning to see the kids bumming around in the waiting area.

"Sydney's back on shift," Macquarie said by way of greeting. "School holidays."

"Hi," I said to the kids. "I'm Aurizon."

"My name's Mattie," the girl said brightly. She had Macquarie's dark hair and eyes. "Mattie with a T. It's short for Matilda."

"Hey," the older boy grumbled before lapsing back into silence. Travis took after Sydney.

I got to work and left them to alternate between video games and vandalising Macquarie's copies of all the major financial newspapers.

"Dad," Travis said after a half hour of precarious silence.

"What?" Macquarie replied from behind his desk.

"What's arbitrage?"

Macquarie sighed and went back to his computer. "Ask me later."

I looked at the bored children. "It's when you can make money from nothing," I said.

Travis's head snapped towards me. He'd forgotten I existed. "Like how?" he asked.

I cast a glance towards Macquarie. He was pretending not to listen. "Um..." I grabbed a marker and drew two circles on one of the whiteboards. "Say these bonds both have $10 in them. But this one costs $5 and that one costs $10."

"That's fucked," Travis said wisely. Macquarie let out a snort.

"Yeah, it is," I said. "So what you do is you borrow somebody else's bond B, sell it for $10, and use the money to buy two of bond A and make $20. Free money."

"Don't you have to give the first bond back?"

"Yeah, but it only costs $10." I pointed. "You've still got $10 left for yourself."

"Sick," Travis said, his eyes widening.

Mattie's arms were crossed. "I don't get it."

"Uh..." I said.

"If they're the same thing they shouldn't cost different prices," Mattie said stubbornly. "Bond B is cheating."

Before I could try explaining the fallibility of efficient markets to an eight-year-old, Macquarie broke in with some hooting laughter. "You sound like the consumer watchdog, Mat. Aurizon, take them to the park or something. We'll go get lunch later." As I walked past, he quietly added, "Nice, you've learned a thing or two round here."

---

I accosted him after lunch, shutting his office door on the kids.

“They’re really cute,” I said, waving towards the door. Macquarie patiently waited for me to drum up the balls to get to the point. I finally let it out: “What are you going to do if you lose your job?”

Macquarie sighed and refused to look at me. “I have to do what Sally says,” he said.

“You don’t,” I insisted. “Porter told me Northstar tried to sell her bonds first. She said the company was worthless. She was right, wasn’t she?”

“It doesn’t matter if she was,” Macquarie skirted the question.

“Is this still about the discounts?”

“It’s not about the discounts.”

I was skirting a fine line between progress and overstepping, and I’d more than used up my bravery reserves for the day. I waited for Macquarie to ease my job and tell me his life story.

After ten more seconds of awkward silence, he did the exact opposite. “I printed Crownsdale’s 2043 annual report,” he said, snapping out of any weakness he’d been about to show. “Figured you could have a look.”

I took the report from him. It was still disturbingly hard for me to be alone with Macquarie in his office without losing my shit a little. His children are three metres away, I roared at myself.

“I think we should back out from Northstar,” I whispered one more time, furious with myself for the placidity of my voice.

“Not a chance,” Macquarie said firmly, but his voice softened when he saw my expression. “Come on, Aurizon. It’s not all bad. You'll always have to do things you don’t want to, it’s just how things work up here. You learn to work around.”

He smiled...

“We’re going to be okay. Maybe Crownsdale will make everything back.”

I almost gasped. It was as good as an admission that he believed Northstar was a sunk cost.

For the rest of the week, we went through the motions. Macquarie signed the purchase agreement with Rowan Stewart, I filed the papers with prudentials, and $14.4 million worth of preference stock changed hands.

I flew to Brisbane straight after work on Friday, to get the weekend with my parents before Monday’s AGM.

On Sunday night, the call came through from Macquarie. Johann Kostler had just been fired on corruption charges, six weeks of backlogged wages were removed from the recent infusion of capital, and there wasn’t enough left to expand the wastewater treatment plant.

Monday morning, the EPA shut down the mine.

[webpostingpro-blog]

New Post has been published on Webpostingpro

New Post has been published on https://webpostingpro.com/shea-porter-seeks-to-restore-education-benefits-for-veterans/

Shea-Porter seeks to restore education benefits for veterans

Concord, N.H. (AP) — Veterans who misplaced their GI Invoice advantages due to the closure of for-profit faculties might get help beneath an Invoice co-subsidized via Democratic U.S. Rep. Carol Shea-Porter.

The Publish-9/11 GI Bill affords help to veterans to pursue schooling and successfully transition to civilian existence. After some of the for-earnings colleges closed remaining year, the Branch of schooling started out discharging scholar loan debt for the affected students, however, does now not have the authority to restore GI Invoice advantages for veterans.

Start system restore

Shea-Porter says too many veterans have been left without the opportunity to complete their levels because the for-earnings faculties they attended — such as Daniel Webster University in Nashua — went out of business.

Copyright 2017 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This cloth won’t be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.windows 10 backup feature

Abusive Boss? Recover Your Power, Restore Your Health

Don’t allow your abusive boss damage your soul. Recover your strength. Repair your fitness.

Why Your Abusive Boss Has A lot of power to Harm.

We, humans, are wired for courting. We live on and prosper in the community. Isolate and marginalize us, and we suffer.

Rejection isn’t always only painful, it is psychologically devastating if from someone critical to us and us on whom we rely.

This is why youngsters, the ultimately based people, may be damaged for lifestyles with the aid of abusive parents.

So, being abused via a mod who can deprive us of our income and experience of dignity is particularly painful. If the abuse is day by day, we may additionally without problems emerge as depressed, demanding, and physically unwell. This is why so many personnel “go out on stress depart.” Region a bad boss in an already stressful paintings situation with an excessive amount of paintings and the too little assist and the situation can be toxic. The downward cycle is lousy. We’re depleted, and consequently much less resilient, and consequently, the next day’s pressure is even tougher to undergo.

Processes to Cope with an Abusive Boss

Here is a listing of some counter-Methods. Note the Procedures all consciousness on you, not your boss. You cannot exchange your abusive boss. You can exchange your personal moves and mind. In spite of the pressure, believe the alternatives, and use them:

1. Relying on the severity of your state of affairs, Do not wait for an entire meltdown. Take clinical depart now. Give yourself a while away to Get better and reorient.

2. Tune in. Your body is being effected by way of the strain, but you are in all likelihood pushing on, ignoring the signs. Ultimately the signs and symptoms will crush you. So, take a hint.

3. Exercise mindfulness meditation. This Practice is intellectual schooling. It teaches detachment and observation and allows emotional distance from worrying events.

4. Pray, when you have any foundation of the notion of a higher power. Prayer produces consequences. The source of those results may be debated, however, humans of religion cope better.

5. Live off sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Never use illegal pills. Use pharmaceuticals as needed to transition via a bad time. prescription drugs can take the threshold of a stressful situation, but they are now not an answer. You are the solution.

6. difficult although it’s whilst you’re the target, realize it is now not non-public

Your boss is generally abusive and seeks out the weak for greater bullying. you are no longer awful, and you’re now not the cause of the attacks. Your abusive boss desires to bully for his own ill personal reasons. He is in dance, and you’re the companion referred to as “sufferer.” You may be absolutely everyone.

7. There are individuals who Deliver, and people who put off. Connect to the givers to make amends for the abusive boss who’s depleting you. Reach out to the energizers. Spend social time with people who enjoy laughter, appropriate meals, or fun sports. Locate individuals who share the activities you revel in, and make time with them to percentage those sports. permit your self-chortle once more. revel in the feeling of letting down your project. Create and use these opportunities to the identical routine you will take a prescribed anti-depressant.

8. Get extra sleep. It allows to exercising, despite the fact that only a brisk stroll of 15 minutes, a few hours earlier than going to mattress.

9. Take rest breaks mentally and physically throughout the day. Rise up from your work, and take a walk. Breath deeply. Stretch. normally, develop a host of one-minute interludes to replenish and renew. increase a bit intellectual repetition of a superb phrase of the wish. Repeat it silently all through the day.

10. Be patient. You’ve been beneath stress so long your frame is in a nearly non-stop stress response mode. you are possibly hyper-vigilant and reactive, and unaware that this poor state has emerged as your “new every day.” It takes the time to unwind from the pattern. Simply Live with the restoration plan.

Is the Carrot and Stick Method Useful in Higher Education

Bear in mind how the process of gaining knowledge of starts of evolved for students. As a widespread perceptual rule, when students begin their degree applications they wish to reap proper grades, beneficial capabilities, and relevant knowledge. The lessons paid assures placement in a category and there are implied results that students anticipate as a manufactured from their involvement in that elegance. In the evaluation, instructors assume that scholars will obey the instructional regulations, carry out to the fine in their skills, and observe particular magnificence necessities that encompass cut-off dates for completion of studying activities.

For college kids, grades function a hallmark of their progress in class,

A symbol of their accomplishments and failures, and a report in their standing in a diploma program. I have heard many college students nation that their primary purpose for the magnificence became to earn what they confer with as “top grades” – despite the fact that they’ll now not be completely privy to what constitutes a good grade for them. when students are not reaching properly grades, or the minimal expected via instructors and/or the college, teachers can also try to nudge them on – both through effective motivational strategies inclusive of training and mentoring, or negative motivational methods that include threats and a demeaning disposition.

I found that many educators dangle a carrot in the front of their college students thru oblique methods

Inclusive of the potential to earn a better grade, as an “A” in a trademark of the last success in school. There can be incentives given to activate higher overall performance, together with beyond regular time or a resubmission allowance for a written task, as a way of encouraging college students to perform higher.

My question is whether or not the point of interest of coaching in better education have to be the carrot we hold in the front of college students to carry out better or ought to there be greater of a focal point on what motivates each individual student to perform to the best in their competencies? In different words, do we want to be dangling something in front of students to serve as a supply of motivation?top private high schools in us

What’s the Carrot and Stick Method?

I trust that the majority understand the that means of dangling a carrot in the front of college students to encourage them. The phrase is actually based totally upon a tale approximately a technique of motivating a donkey and even as the carrot is dangling in front of it, the stick is used to prod the animal alongside. The carrot serves as a reward and the stick is used as a form of reinforcement and punishment for non-compliance.

This method continues to be used in the workplace, even subconsciously by managers, as a technique of motivating personnel. The carrot or incentives may additionally include a promoting, pay growth, one-of-a-kind assignments, and the list continues. The stick that is used, or the punishment for not achieving particular desires or performance ranges, can also encompass demotion or a job loss. A hazard of that nature can serve as a powerful motivator, even though the essence of this technique is poor and worrying.

Toward Depoliticization of the Department of Veterans Affairs: Donald Trump’s Constitutional Mandate

Most Americans who supported President-opt for Donald Trump weren’t anticipating him to publicly claim outright his particular aim of depoliticizing the Department of Veterans Affairs by way of removing it from cabinet-level repute. No, Maximum were not watching for a logistical grasp like Trump to show his sport-changing plan before he’s inaugurated because of the forty-fifth U.S. President. But, I, and might different patriots, were fully looking ahead to him to straight away announce the plenty wished replacement of the present day politically aspiring V.A. Secretary, disabled veterans benefits

Robert McDonald, who changed into appointed by Obama in 2015 for precise political motives, and who’s presently referred to as having been modified greater inside the previous months by the political strategies of the V.A. bureaucracy than he has changed the bureaucracy for the higher. Mr. Trump’s astute and unprecedented nomination of an experienced and devoted medical doctor, Dr. David J. Shulkin, as V.A. Secretary, is a sport changer, when you consider that all preceding V.A. Secretaries, because the yr 1989, had been natural political cronies of the appointing presidents, starting with George H.W. Bush’s appointment of Ed Derwinski, who was a career federal flesh-presser.

Federal benefits for veterans

It has been said at various times in the course of the records of the American republic that when federal politicians are not kissing infants, They’re stealing their candy. This sardonic cartoon might be laughable to a degree, but it is sadly a truism that jewelry with a clarion call in an age when there are over 1000 federal regulatory agencies, administrations, and commissions, with their million-plus federal employees, occupying Washington, D.C. And the federal places of work via the fifty States. The V.A. currently has greater federal employees than some other federal Branch, except for the Department of Defense, and this isn’t always to be applauded to any quantity. There currently exists a lot of mediocrity, redundancy, flippancy, and duplication of bureaucratic work methods inside the V.A

[lifebooksloves]

To Have It All by B.N. Toler

Life, Books, & Loves Presents: To Have It All by B.N. Toler

  Title: To Have It All

Author: B.N. Toler

Release Date: Jan 18, 2017

Add to your TBR

Rock bottom.

  Liam had set up shop there.

  After an accident left him injured and unable to work, it wasn’t long before he ended up on the street with his dreams in the gutter.

  This was it.

  This was his life.

  Until the day he met Max Porter—a man who appeared to have it all. They didn’t meet so much as made eye contact as Max sneered at Liam, the bum occupying precious space on the sullied New York City street.

  When Max stepped into oncoming traffic, a lesser man might’ve let him. But Liam risked his life to save Max only to be left to die without a second thought.

  When Liam woke up days later, he wasn’t himself…at least he wasn’t in his body.

  He was in Max’s.

  And with Liam’s body on life support, there was only one logical conclusion: Max was trapped in Liam’s comatose body.

  Somehow the twisted hands of fate had given Liam a second chance; a chance to have it all. But with all the perks of Max’s life also came his problems. Finding balance in his new identity was challenged more so once Liam fell for Waverly, Max’s beautiful ex.

  Could Liam live out his life as another man or would he pull the plug and let fate decide?

  Would he lose his chance at true love?

Would he lose the chance to have it all?

​

Scooting up, his body was gloved to mine, his mouth to my ear as he reached around me and pulled my left hand, placing it over the shifter, then he took my right hand and settled it over the throttle. “Think of this like a dance,” he instructed me, his voice husky. “Dance involves steps, coordination, knowing your partner. This isn’t much different.”

  “Says you,” I griped. “This is hardly a dance partner. This is a death trap that could kill us.”

  He chuckled, the sound low and deep, making my core clench. “You’re sitting on over five-hundred pounds of machinery here. Think about how much time and effort went into building this; the way someone had to know this bike so intricately to put it all together and make it move.”

  “Just because they knew it doesn’t mean I do.” I appreciated the intricacy of the bike, but appreciating and driving it were very different things.

  “I just mean there’s power here. You can make these 500 pounds of metal move if you want it to, if you trust yourself enough.”

  He left my hands and softly ran his fingers up my arms to my shoulders. “It lives and moves so long as you let it, so long as you lead it, just like a good dance partner. Don’t think about the moves you need to make . . . feel them. Let the bike tell you when it’s time to shift.”

  His fingers glided down my sides until they took a firm hold of my waist causing my breath to hitch as my back arched slightly. “It’s give and release, Waverly,” he went on, his voice deep and gravely. “You have to feel when it’s time to give and when it’s time to let go.”

  Darting my tongue out, I wet my dry lips. How did he make shifting gears sound so hot? How in the heck was I supposed to manage this machine with Liam murmuring sexual innuendo in my ear? I wished I could somehow turn around and take him on the bike.

  “You know, this would be an epic opening to a porn flick,” I announced causing him to burst into laughter.

  “I hadn’t thought of that.” His body shook as he continued to laugh.

  “I guess your mind isn’t as dirty as mine.” I shrugged.

  “I guess not. What would the film title be?” he queried.

  I twisted my mouth in thought. In my sexiest voice, I twisted my neck so he could see me as I pouted my mouth, “Shifting the Panhead. When good girls learn to ride.”

  He choked he was laughing so hard. When he could form words again, he coughed out, “That does sound pretty dirty when you say it like that.”

  “Anything can sound dirty when you say it the right way,” I quipped. “Sky,” I moaned. “Concrete,” I continued.

  “Okay, okay,” he begged before clearing his throat. “Stop stalling your lesson with your dirty mind and your defiling of perfectly unperverted words.”

  I wiggled my ass again. “You love how I defiled the word concrete. Admit it.”

“You keep shimmying your ass like that, this lesson is going to have to end while I go jump in the water.”

BN Toler lives in Virginia. When she’s not reading and writing, she’s thinking about reading and writing. Before she became a self-proclaimed writer, she worked as a real estate agent and as an orthodontic technician. **She will notice your teeth before your eyes or hair or anything.**

  She enjoys shopping (way too much) and is on a first name basis with several employees at the local Target in her town.

  She loves music,(bluegrass, country, 80’s, actually she loves most music ~her favorite song is American Pie by Don McLean and she worships anything that is Elvis and Johnny Cash and Eric Church) dancing, (even though she sucks at it)reading, writing, eating (too much) sleeping late, (which she rarely gets to do) and laughing. If you can make her laugh, she will love you forever.

  Random and insignificant facts:

  She is addicted to Coca Cola

She hates onions

She loves thunderstorms

She wants to have Karen Marie Moning’s babies

She curses….a lot…like way too much

She’s immensely afraid of snakes

She fangirls over M.Pierce

She HATES reality television

She loves books and movies that make her cry

She cries over anything remotely sad

She LOVES Jack Daniels and Ginger Ale. (too much)

She hopes she hasn’t bored you to death.

Disclosure: This information was provided by B.N. Toler. This is NOT a compensated post.

The post To Have It All by B.N. Toler appeared first on Life Books & Loves.

from Life Books & Loves http://ift.tt/2jaGuPL via IFTTT

[webpostingpro-blog]

New Post has been published on Webpostingpro

New Post has been published on https://webpostingpro.com/shea-porter-seeks-to-restore-education-benefits-for-veterans/

Shea-Porter seeks to restore education benefits for veterans

Concord, N.H. (AP) — Veterans who misplaced their GI Invoice advantages due to the closure of for-profit faculties might get help beneath an Invoice co-subsidized via Democratic U.S. Rep. Carol Shea-Porter.

The Publish-9/11 GI Bill affords help to veterans to pursue schooling and successfully transition to civilian existence. After some of the for-earnings colleges closed remaining year, the Branch of schooling started out discharging scholar loan debt for the affected students, however, does now not have the authority to restore GI Invoice advantages for veterans.

Start system restore

Shea-Porter says too many veterans have been left without the opportunity to complete their levels because the for-earnings faculties they attended — such as Daniel Webster University in Nashua — went out of business.

Copyright 2017 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This cloth won’t be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.windows 10 backup feature

Abusive Boss? Recover Your Power, Restore Your Health

Don’t allow your abusive boss damage your soul. Recover your strength. Repair your fitness.

Why Your Abusive Boss Has A lot of power to Harm.

We, humans, are wired for courting. We live on and prosper in the community. Isolate and marginalize us, and we suffer.

Rejection isn’t always only painful, it is psychologically devastating if from someone critical to us and us on whom we rely.

This is why youngsters, the ultimately based people, may be damaged for lifestyles with the aid of abusive parents.

So, being abused via a mod who can deprive us of our income and experience of dignity is particularly painful. If the abuse is day by day, we may additionally without problems emerge as depressed, demanding, and physically unwell. This is why so many personnel “go out on stress depart.” Region a bad boss in an already stressful paintings situation with an excessive amount of paintings and the too little assist and the situation can be toxic. The downward cycle is lousy. We’re depleted, and consequently much less resilient, and consequently, the next day’s pressure is even tougher to undergo.

Processes to Cope with an Abusive Boss

Here is a listing of some counter-Methods. Note the Procedures all consciousness on you, not your boss. You cannot exchange your abusive boss. You can exchange your personal moves and mind. In spite of the pressure, believe the alternatives, and use them:

1. Relying on the severity of your state of affairs, Do not wait for an entire meltdown. Take clinical depart now. Give yourself a while away to Get better and reorient.

2. Tune in. Your body is being effected by way of the strain, but you are in all likelihood pushing on, ignoring the signs. Ultimately the signs and symptoms will crush you. So, take a hint.

3. Exercise mindfulness meditation. This Practice is intellectual schooling. It teaches detachment and observation and allows emotional distance from worrying events.

4. Pray, when you have any foundation of the notion of a higher power. Prayer produces consequences. The source of those results may be debated, however, humans of religion cope better.

5. Live off sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Never use illegal pills. Use pharmaceuticals as needed to transition via a bad time. prescription drugs can take the threshold of a stressful situation, but they are now not an answer. You are the solution.

6. difficult although it’s whilst you’re the target, realize it is now not non-public

Your boss is generally abusive and seeks out the weak for greater bullying. you are no longer awful, and you’re now not the cause of the attacks. Your abusive boss desires to bully for his own ill personal reasons. He is in dance, and you’re the companion referred to as “sufferer.” You may be absolutely everyone.

7. There are individuals who Deliver, and people who put off. Connect to the givers to make amends for the abusive boss who’s depleting you. Reach out to the energizers. Spend social time with people who enjoy laughter, appropriate meals, or fun sports. Locate individuals who share the activities you revel in, and make time with them to percentage those sports. permit your self-chortle once more. revel in the feeling of letting down your project. Create and use these opportunities to the identical routine you will take a prescribed anti-depressant.

8. Get extra sleep. It allows to exercising, despite the fact that only a brisk stroll of 15 minutes, a few hours earlier than going to mattress.

9. Take rest breaks mentally and physically throughout the day. Rise up from your work, and take a walk. Breath deeply. Stretch. normally, develop a host of one-minute interludes to replenish and renew. increase a bit intellectual repetition of a superb phrase of the wish. Repeat it silently all through the day.

10. Be patient. You’ve been beneath stress so long your frame is in a nearly non-stop stress response mode. you are possibly hyper-vigilant and reactive, and unaware that this poor state has emerged as your “new every day.” It takes the time to unwind from the pattern. Simply Live with the restoration plan.

Is the Carrot and Stick Method Useful in Higher Education

Bear in mind how the process of gaining knowledge of starts of evolved for students. As a widespread perceptual rule, when students begin their degree applications they wish to reap proper grades, beneficial capabilities, and relevant knowledge. The lessons paid assures placement in a category and there are implied results that students anticipate as a manufactured from their involvement in that elegance. In the evaluation, instructors assume that scholars will obey the instructional regulations, carry out to the fine in their skills, and observe particular magnificence necessities that encompass cut-off dates for completion of studying activities.

For college kids, grades function a hallmark of their progress in class,

A symbol of their accomplishments and failures, and a report in their standing in a diploma program. I have heard many college students nation that their primary purpose for the magnificence became to earn what they confer with as “top grades” – despite the fact that they’ll now not be completely privy to what constitutes a good grade for them. when students are not reaching properly grades, or the minimal expected via instructors and/or the college, teachers can also try to nudge them on – both through effective motivational strategies inclusive of training and mentoring, or negative motivational methods that include threats and a demeaning disposition.

I found that many educators dangle a carrot in the front of their college students thru oblique methods

Inclusive of the potential to earn a better grade, as an “A” in a trademark of the last success in school. There can be incentives given to activate higher overall performance, together with beyond regular time or a resubmission allowance for a written task, as a way of encouraging college students to perform higher.

My question is whether or not the point of interest of coaching in better education have to be the carrot we hold in the front of college students to carry out better or ought to there be greater of a focal point on what motivates each individual student to perform to the best in their competencies? In different words, do we want to be dangling something in front of students to serve as a supply of motivation?top private high schools in us

What’s the Carrot and Stick Method?

I trust that the majority understand the that means of dangling a carrot in the front of college students to encourage them. The phrase is actually based totally upon a tale approximately a technique of motivating a donkey and even as the carrot is dangling in front of it, the stick is used to prod the animal alongside. The carrot serves as a reward and the stick is used as a form of reinforcement and punishment for non-compliance.

This method continues to be used in the workplace, even subconsciously by managers, as a technique of motivating personnel. The carrot or incentives may additionally include a promoting, pay growth, one-of-a-kind assignments, and the list continues. The stick that is used, or the punishment for not achieving particular desires or performance ranges, can also encompass demotion or a job loss. A hazard of that nature can serve as a powerful motivator, even though the essence of this technique is poor and worrying.

Toward Depoliticization of the Department of Veterans Affairs: Donald Trump’s Constitutional Mandate

Most Americans who supported President-opt for Donald Trump weren’t anticipating him to publicly claim outright his particular aim of depoliticizing the Department of Veterans Affairs by way of removing it from cabinet-level repute. No, Maximum were not watching for a logistical grasp like Trump to show his sport-changing plan before he’s inaugurated because of the forty-fifth U.S. President. But, I, and might different patriots, were fully looking ahead to him to straight away announce the plenty wished replacement of the present day politically aspiring V.A. Secretary, disabled veterans benefits

Robert McDonald, who changed into appointed by Obama in 2015 for precise political motives, and who’s presently referred to as having been modified greater inside the previous months by the political strategies of the V.A. bureaucracy than he has changed the bureaucracy for the higher. Mr. Trump’s astute and unprecedented nomination of an experienced and devoted medical doctor, Dr. David J. Shulkin, as V.A. Secretary, is a sport changer, when you consider that all preceding V.A. Secretaries, because the yr 1989, had been natural political cronies of the appointing presidents, starting with George H.W. Bush’s appointment of Ed Derwinski, who was a career federal flesh-presser.

Federal benefits for veterans

It has been said at various times in the course of the records of the American republic that when federal politicians are not kissing infants, They’re stealing their candy. This sardonic cartoon might be laughable to a degree, but it is sadly a truism that jewelry with a clarion call in an age when there are over 1000 federal regulatory agencies, administrations, and commissions, with their million-plus federal employees, occupying Washington, D.C. And the federal places of work via the fifty States. The V.A. currently has greater federal employees than some other federal Branch, except for the Department of Defense, and this isn’t always to be applauded to any quantity. There currently exists a lot of mediocrity, redundancy, flippancy, and duplication of bureaucratic work methods inside the V.A