#How do I restart my relationship with my ex

[howtoexloveback]

How To Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend

In every relationship, there are so many difficulties that can affect your life and keep your relationship up and down. But if the problems become very large then, you should leave the relationship. But if you face the issues that are normal for all people then, you should not leave the relationship because the small issues occur in the life of love. But you do not know about your future that for…

[covenofagatha]

could you write something about divorced reader and agatha? them being mothers to a child, both decided to put what happened that lead to the divorce aside and keep communicating to each other as to try and keep a health relationship with their kid. they think their kid deserves to have both mothers present in his or her life.

then one day agatha discovers that reader is planning to go on a date, meaning she's trying to move on with her life. agatha is furious (in the jealous way), they argue a lot, it's very angst, full of emotions, they end up fucking and in the end they talk to each other about trying to restart things to be together again. they know it's not going to be easy but they realize their feelings for each other are still there. thank you!! (if you could angst and nsfw)

Okay this is genuinely one of my favorite things i've ever written so I really hope everyone likes it

Also my first time writing real angst so hopefully it wasn't terrible

Title is from a Taylor Swift song

That's when

Word count: 6100

Warnings: angst, smut, hate sex, fingering, scratching, biting

Going to be a few minutes late to pick-up today, got caught up at work. 

The text from your ex-wife makes you chuckle humorlessly. Of course she did. 

“What’s wrong, Mama?” You look up from your phone at the four year old bundle of joy you and Agatha shared. 

You give him a smile. “Nothing, Nicky. Mommy’s just going to be a little late today.” He shrugs and goes back to playing with his toys. 

You can’t stop the twinge of bitterness growing in your chest as you give a thumbs to the message, not even giving her a dignified response. 

Was it stupid to think that anything would change? 

When you and Agatha had first gotten married, you saw forever with her. She made you happier than you had ever been, and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for you. She always knew how to make you laugh and feel loved, and she was such an amazing partner. 

Plus the sex was mind blowing. She made you feel things you didn’t even know it was possible to feel. The older woman knew exactly what you needed all the time and it was like your body had been made for her. 

A year into the marriage, you both decided you wanted to have a child. Agatha carried the baby, using a donation from a sperm center, and then Nicholas was born. 

The moment you first saw Agatha holding him in the hospital room, your heart exploded with all the love in the world. You had kissed Agatha’s sweaty lips and told her that you loved her and Nicky more than life itself and that nothing was ever going to change that. She had told you that everything she’d ever wanted was right here in this room.

And for the first few years, things were really good. 

Agatha went back to work after her maternity leave ended, so you stayed home with Nicky. Some days were harder than others, but Agatha always made sure to come home as soon as possible to give you a break. She would cook dinner for everyone and after Nicky went to bed, she would hold you on the couch and the two of you would just soak each other in. 

But then, after Nicky had turned three, something started to change. He was in his toddler phase, so being home with him all day started to take a toll on you. Agatha would come home and find you absolutely exhausted, but at that point, she was moving up higher on the corporate ladder, so she was tired too. It felt like a distance had grown between you, and you didn’t know what was happening. 

She started to stay late at work, the need to become a partner at her law firm becoming all-consuming.

You still remember the first time it happened, the first time you tucked in Nicky alone, his big, sad, brown eyes looking up at you and asking why Mommy didn’t want to come home and see him. 

Your heart had clenched and you had to blink back tears before telling him that she was just busy at work and would come in and kiss him goodnight when she was able to. 

That had been the first fight of many about it with your wife. 

You had told her that she wasn’t putting her family first. She had told you that you weren’t giving her enough credit for everything she was doing for you and Nicky. You had told her that all you wanted was for her to be here to tuck your child in. She had told you that you weren’t being fair or understanding about her job. 

Agatha had slept on the couch that night and was gone before you woke up the next morning. 

Deep down, you could tell it was going to be the beginning of the end if something didn’t change. 

So you tried to. You tried to control your anger whenever she was late, you tried to make the best of it for you and Nicky. Bedtimes became a special thing for the two of you, when you would read him a story and kiss his forehead and then slip out once he drifted off to sleep. 

He stopped asking where Agatha was entirely. 

Occasionally a tense comment would escape from you when she got home an hour or two later and it would turn into an argument. 

That arrangement went on for almost a year, but fights were getting more common between the two of you. She made you feel crazy for being upset, which in turn, only made you more upset. 

One time, you told her that she needed to make more of an effort or else and she had scoffed. You had seen red and gotten in her face and you were almost yelling when she shoved you against the wall and shut you up by furiously kissing you. Her fingers had slipped down into your pants and she fucked you for the first time in months. 

You didn’t know hate sex could be so hot. 

After that, things seemed to be getting better and you thought that maybe the two of you had just needed to blow off steam. Your sex life certainly seemed to be back on track. 

And then it was Nicky’s fourth birthday. 

Agatha and you had planned a big party and invited all the kids from his daycare to your house for pizza, cake, and a bounce house. It was the first time in a while that you actually felt like your marriage was on steady ground, like you were on the same page again. 

You remember smiling at her in the kitchen while hanging streamers and thinking that everything was going to be okay, because you loved her and more importantly, she loved you. 

But then she got a phone call and your heart dropped when she left the room to take it. 

When she came back in five minutes later, a pained expression on her face, you felt nauseous. Of course. 

“It’s just going to be a short thing,” she had promised, and you had begged her not to go. It was Nicky’s birthday, he needed both of his moms and it was her day off. You told her that if she left, you didn’t think you could ever forgive her. 

She left anyway, vowing to be back within an hour. 

You weren’t even upset this time. You were just numb. 

The party went by in a blur and it didn’t even feel like you were present in your body. The only thing you remember was finding Nicky sitting under the table while all his friends ran around the yard and crouching down to ask him what was wrong. 

And he had looked up at you, bottom lip quivering, and told you that the only thing he wanted for his birthday was for Mommy to not have to work so much so that the three of you could be together again. 

You had to turn your head and bite onto your finger so you wouldn’t cry in front of him, barely holding it together while you consoled him and promised that Agatha would be back soon. 

Except an hour passed, and she wasn’t back yet. 

The party ended another hour after that and she still wasn’t home. 

After you had rocked a sobbing Nicky to sleep that night, you had gone downstairs, poured yourself a generous glass of wine, and sat by the fireplace, waiting for Agatha. 

And finally, at a quarter until ten, the front door swung open. Your wife crept in, gently setting her keys down so as to not cause a disturbance, and then turned to go upstairs. 

“You said an hour,” you said in a shockingly calm voice, startling her, making her freeze. She launched into an excuse about getting a new case and it was a really big one and she couldn’t get away, but you had cut her off and told her that you didn’t want to hear it. Thus started your biggest fight yet. 

You called her selfish and told her that she was being a bad mother to her child, she told you that you couldn’t possibly understand what it was like for her because you didn’t have a job. You had argued that it shouldn’t matter, that she needed to sort out her priorities, and she said that you needed to stop nagging and accept that she was an integral part of her company now. 

“You’re also an integral part of this family,” you had snapped. “Nicky needs both his moms. He was crying today because you weren’t there, Agatha. He said all he wanted was for you to work less. You need to fix this.” 

She had just stared at you like she didn’t understand what you were saying. “I’m so close to having everything I want. Just give me a few more months.” That was like a stab in the heart.

“A few more months until what? Until you become a partner and have to work even more?” Tears were streaming down your face in the flicker of the fire. “Since when is this not everything you want? Since when are me and Nicky not enough?” Your voice had broken at the end but you didn’t care.

A hint of pain appeared on her face but she had hardened. “I have to do this. You can either stand by my decision or not.” 

To this day, you don’t even remember squeezing the wine glass so hard that it shattered, but the next thing you knew, there was a sharp pain in your palm. You had looked down to see shards embedded in your skin, but the blood made you eerily calm. The wound was almost a wake-up call, a physical manifestation of what she was doing to your family. 

You met her eyes again. “I’m not going to stand by it. I’m done, Agatha. I’m not going to put Nicky or myself through this torture anymore.” 

You could tell that she wasn’t expecting it; she opened her mouth to say something but you had breezed by her to go upstairs, feeling lighter than you had in awhile. 

You had called a lawyer the next day. A small part of you kept hoping that she would promise to do better and beg to work it out. You would’ve called it off in a heartbeat. 

But she didn’t. 

The divorce was simple, for the most part. You had both agreed that you wanted it to be painless for Nicky so you decided that you would be civil and put your problems aside for his sake. He deserved to have both his mothers in his life, and the two of you were going to make that happen as cordially as possible. 

Nicky took the news about as well as any four year old would, but you both assured him that you loved him very much and that this wasn’t a bad thing. 

Things were awkward at first, especially Sundays at six when she would pick him up from you and vice versa. You didn’t know how to talk to the woman you swore you’d die with anymore, but four months in now, it’s gotten easier.

There’s light conversation now, maybe even some casual joking. But it always ends the same way: a terse smile, a kiss on Nicky’s cheek, and then a strained wave before the door closes.

You miss her, though. The way she smelled when you cuddled with her, the way her lips felt tracing your skin, the way she would laugh at some stupid joke you made. 

You try to ignore the pang in your heart whenever Nicky talks about her. It’s honestly been good for their relationship, now she has to make time for him because she doesn’t have you to depend on. 

If only she could’ve done that four months ago. 

And yet, it seems like she’s still putting work first, if being late today is any indication.

“Mommy says we’re gonna go to the park tomorrow!” Nicky squeals, jolting you out of your acrimonious thoughts. 

You look back at your son. “Oh, yeah? That will be a lot of fun, won’t it?” 

He nods. “She’s gonna push me on the swings! I went so high last time I almost touched space. It was so cool.” 

“Wow, Nicky!” You exclaim, laughing despite yourself. “You better be careful though. I’d miss you too much if you went to space.” 

He frowns, deep in thought. “I’d miss you and Mommy. Maybe you could both come!” His face brightens like he just told you a million-dollar idea. 

“Whatever you want, baby,” you say softly, leaning over to tousle his hair, and the doorbell rings. Every time she does that instead of just walking in, it feels strange. This used to be the home you two shared. You give Nicky a tight smile. “Go get your stuff.” He runs up to his room and you go answer the door. Agatha looks as good as ever and you swallow hard. You knew the whole thing was going to be tough, but you didn’t think being so close to her but somehow so far away at the same time would be the worst part.

“Sorry I’m late,” your ex-wife says, sounding genuinely apologetic. You shrug, not wanting to start anything. 

“Don’t worry about it. Nicky’s just grabbing his stuff.” Except it’s taking longer than you thought, so the two of you are just stuck standing there, trying to avoid eye contact. Some pick-ups are better than others.

“Um, so how are things? How have you been?” Agatha asks. 

“Oh, yeah, good. You know, starting to look for a job just to have something to do. Maybe down at the community center,” you tell her. She nods interestedly. 

“That would be good, yeah,” she says. She’s clearly racking her brain for more small talk to make. 

“And you?” You ask before the silence gets too much to bear again. 

She looks at you like she’s trying to figure out what to say. Her work has become sort of a sore subject to talk about, especially now. “I actually just made partner,” she says finally. 

“Oh, wow, congratulations.” It sounds hollow even to your ears. “So, um–” You start a sentence before knowing where it’s going, but thankfully, Nicky runs downstairs at that very moment. 

“Hi Mommy!” He cries out, sprinting over and almost knocking the wind out of her when he barrels into her with a hug. She takes a step back when she absorbs the hit and you instinctively reach a hand out to grab onto her to keep her balanced. 

Her eyes meet yours, a jolt running through you when you realize this is the first time in four months that you’ve actually touched her. 

You yank your hand back before you get too carried away in your thoughts. 

“There’s my little prince,” Agatha says, ruffling his hair, still looking at you. “Did you have a good week?” 

He lifts his head to peer up at her and she finally breaks away from your stare. “It was fun! Jack let me have some of his chips.” You chuckle, remembering the day he had come home from daycare and happily told you that he had made a new friend. Agatha quizzically glances at you and you shake your head fondly. 

“Wow, well I can’t wait to hear all about it,” she says, matching his energy, and you feel your throat pinch. Despite everything, Agatha was a great mom when she was around. “Alright, are you ready to go? I’m thinking we can get pizza for dinner?” 

“Yes!” Nicky pumps his fist and lets go of her to throw his arms around you. “Bye, Mama. I’ll see you next week.” 

You lean down and kiss his cheek. “Have a great week, okay, baby?” He nods, eyes sparkling like they always do. 

You stand back up and Agatha gives you a smile before leading Nicky back to her car. Watching them drive away tugs at your stomach like it always does, and when you can no longer see them, you go back inside to the empty house.

Grief rolls over you in waves sometimes when you’re alone, and this is one of those times. It’s like you’re being pulled under the surface if you think too hard about what it used to be like before things started getting bad. 

This home used to be full of love and warmth and happiness. 

Now it’s a cold, vacant shell of memories. Even the silence feels too loud as you walk to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine.

You drink a lot more when Nicky is with Agatha, and you find yourself wondering if she’s as affected as you are. 

Doubt it, you snort. She’s probably living her best life on her off-week, when she can come home at whatever time she wants and doesn’t have a nagging wife to answer to. 

You settle on the couch, glass in hand, and scroll through your phone. You down it quickly, and then another, and you decide to keep going. It doesn’t take long at all before you’re absolutely hammered. 

Fuck Agatha. Fuck her for choosing her job over you and Nicky. Fuck her for tearing your family apart. You would’ve been so happy with her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. 

And now, what? You’re just supposed to start over? With some random woman? Supposed to go on first dates again, and talk about your favorite color, while the person who you loved the most and knew everything about you ripped out your heart?

Fuck Agatha. 

And then you get a genius idea. Maybe you should date. It could be meaningless, just a way for some company, maybe even sex. 

You’ve been waiting, hoping, for Agatha to change her mind. But she’s a partner at her firm now. 

She’s made her choice. 

Giggling out loud to yourself, you download Tinder and set up a profile. You scroll through your camera roll and are depressed when there’s mostly only pictures of you and Agatha, you and Nicky, or the three of you together. 

So you take some. Selfies have never been your thing, but in your drunken state, you have never been more confident. Some of the pictures you take are soft, some are a bit sexier, some are neutral. 

You upload them all, set the location for within five miles, and get to swiping. 

At first, it feels wrong, like you’re cheating on Agatha. When you get nervous, you still find yourself fiddling with the spot where her ring used to be, because it used to bring you comfort. The imprint she has on your soul will forever be there, you think. 

But it’s done. 

You steel your nerves and keep going, but no one is catching your eye. You frown, disgruntled, until finally you get to an attractive woman. 

Rio. 41. Loves nature and witchy things. 

You click through her pictures and are intrigued. You have a thing for brunettes, and her brown eyes are pretty pools of honey with a knowing look in them. There’s something intense about her, but you can’t ignore how hot she is. 

Before you can think twice, you swipe right and your stomach lurches when it says you have a match. 

Heart racing, you tap on the message icon, staring at the page. Do you make the first move or wait?

The alcohol decides for you. 

Hey. You hit send and immediately inwardly kick yourself. What a stupid thing to say. 

You turn off your phone and pinch the bridge of your nose until it buzzes in your lap. You look down and find that Rio replied. 

Nice pictures. 

You squint and click back to your profile, and attempt to really study them with a clear head. Turns out, all of them are blurry and it’s incredibly hard to make out any distinct features. You raise your phone again to take a new one and this time, you make sure that it’s clear before sending it straight to her with the message: Sorrrry i’m drung

It’s wrong, but you don’t care enough to correct it. 

Wow, doll. I’m glad you posted the blurry ones because you are too hot for anyone else to see. 

A blush spreads through your cheeks. It’s the first time you’ve been flirted with in ages. Feeling emboldened, you send a flirty text back. 

You keep talking for hours, until as you’re dozing off, she texts and asks you if you want to get dinner tomorrow night. 

The question is like a bucket of cold water being thrown on you and you start to panic. Thoughts of Agatha swirl in your mind, meeting her in a cafe, your first date, the first time she touched you, her proposing, her on your wedding day, her and Nicky in the hospital the day he was born –

– her working late, making Nicky cry, making you tuck in your child alone and explaining that of course Mommy still loves him and she’s just really busy, making you wait up to see her, breaking your heart a million times over again because she refused to change. 

You exhale slowly. 

I’d love to. You type back, and you turn off your phone before you can second guess yourself. 

You fall asleep on the couch, phone still in hand, a war being waged in your heart. 

The next morning, you’re awoken by your phone buzzing. You groan and hold it up in front of your face to find Agatha calling you. 

“Hello?” You say groggily, rubbing your head. 

You can tell she’s in the car by the loud sounds. Probably on her way to work. You roll your eyes, and then feel guilty. “Hey, Nicky realized that he left his pair of flip flops at yours and I was going to take him to the pool tomorrow. Can I come stop by this afternoon and pick them up?” 

You raise an eyebrow. “The pool on a Tuesday?” Who is this woman, and what has she done with your ex-wife? 

“I know, I know,” Agatha chuckles and it’s nice to hear her laugh. “I took off the afternoon because he’s been wanting to go swimming. Thought it would be a nice surprise.” 

You try to ignore the effort she’s putting in now versus when you were married. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be here pretty much all day. Just text first.” You don’t mention the date with Rio, you don’t even wait for her to respond before hanging up. 

Trying to push Agatha and Rio out of your mind, you go take a shower to wash the smell of alcohol off you, and then run some errands. Grocery shopping is always easier when it’s your off-week but you still find yourself reaching for Froot Loops and Dinosaur nuggets. 

It’s about four in the afternoon when Agatha texts you that she’s on her way. You’re in denial about why you make sure your hair looks nice or you put on a bit of makeup, but it’s the first time you and Agatha have been alone since the divorce. 

Not that that has any correlation. 

And then the doorbell rings and your palms start to sweat. 

You swing the door open to find her leaned against the pillar outside, wearing a suit that has your chest squeezing. It’s your favorite, the maroon one that hugs her curves perfectly and the one she’s fucked you in more times than you can count. 

Agatha doesn’t wait for you to invite her, just walks in and up the stairs to Nicky’s room. You chase after her. 

“I’m surprised you’re not working right now,” you say, and she gives you a warning look. 

“I’m a partner now,” she answers, rummaging through Nicky’s closet to find his shoes. “I can delegate the busy work to others in the office.” 

You hum and reach around her to pull his flip-flops off a shelf and hold them up to her. You organized his room, you know where everything is. 

“Thanks,” she says, taking them, standing up, and awkwardly waiting for you to move first. 

You glance around the room to see if there’s anything else he would need for swimming. “Does he have his swim suit?” 

“I have a few pairs for him,” she replies, watching you carefully. You tuck your hair behind your ear, another nervous habit. 

“Well, guess he should be all set then.” You clap your hands together and she smiles sadly and walks out of the room. She pauses in the hallway next to your room, the room you used to share, and your breath catches, but she keeps moving toward the stairwell. 

“Do you, uh,” Agatha starts, turning around when she gets to the kitchen. You freeze. “Maybe want to have a drink or dinner or do something tonight? Nicky has a playdate with one of his friends, so it’ll just be me. Figured we could both use the company.” 

“I actually have plans,” you say carefully. Part of you wants to cancel with Rio, but you know you shouldn’t. This could be good for you. 

Agatha raises an eyebrow. “Working late?” She jokes, although it doesn’t land how she wants it and you both know it. 

“I have a date.” 

And it’s like all the air has been sucked out of the room. You see the exact moment Agatha’s face changes, becomes darker almost. 

“What?” She growls. “With who?” 

You chew on your lip until she asks again. “I went on Tinder last night.” You don’t offer more than that, but her lip curls and you can tell that she’s angry. 

“So now you’re just whoring yourself out online?” She spits and your blood boils. “You were going to, what, bring some slut to the house my child sleeps in?”

“He’s not here this week, Agatha,” you remind her and she scoffs like it doesn’t matter. “You haven’t been on a date yet?” Now that’s a surprise to you. 

She rolls her eyes. “Of course not. I’m too-“ 

“Busy? Yeah, tell me about it,” you cut her off, poison dripping in your tone and she fixes you with a glare, throwing her hands up in the air. 

“Don’t even fucking go there,” she warns. “That’s what this is always about with you. I’m so fucking sorry that I was ambitious and wanted more.” The sarcasm hits you like a brick and you grit your teeth. 

“It was about more than that and you know it,” you snarl. “You constantly neglected Nicky and I, you put everything else above us. You weren’t there for your own son’s birthday party, so fucking sue me for going on a date. We’re divorced, I can do whatever the fuck I want. At least she won’t completely ignore me.” 

It’s the wrong thing to say and you know it the second it leaves your mouth. She explodes. “Ignore you? I didn’t ignore you, do you even hear yourself? I tried to be there for you, I really did, and now you’re just throwing that away. I was doing the best I could, I was under so much stress with my job and then a toddler, I was fucking drowning.” 

“Why didn’t you talk to me then?” You cry out, digging your nails into your palms. “You could’ve told me how you were struggling instead of just fighting with me! And I’m not throwing it away now, Aggie, you were the one who did that when you gave me that ultimatum.” You can hear her breath suck in when you call her that nickname and tears prick your eyes. How did you two get here? 

“I didn’t think you would just give up,” she says, voice strangled, and a weight comes crashing down on you. 

“What?” You whisper, and for the first time, you can see that the older woman is affected too, hurting. 

She wipes her eyes and sniffs. “I didn’t think you would just walk away like you did. I thought you’d say that we could work it out, like you always do.” 

And then you get it. That night, she wanted you to cave again. She thought you would give in and let her get away with it. Like you always did. “Stop,” you say coldly and she looks at you with surprise. “You don’t get to manipulate me anymore and turn this on me. I tried so hard to fix this and to be okay with it, but you were never going to change. Except now you have, for Nicky. So what, was I just not worth it?” 

“Do you know how many times I wish I had changed? I should have listened, I’m sorry,” she says, and you wish you could believe it. 

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m going on this date and you should go,” you snap. You start to walk out of the kitchen and to the front door when her hand shoots out and grabs your wrist. You move your arm, trying to get free, but she yanks you back against her, your chest colliding with hers. 

You lose the ability to breathe and you try to avoid looking at her lips as she walks you backwards until you hit the wall. 

“Tell me you don’t still think about me,” she hisses into your ear. “Tell me you don’t miss the way I made you moan louder than anyone else ever has. Tell me you don’t miss the way I fuck you.” 

Your nose twitches in anger and you lean in closer to her. “I don’t,” you glower, even though it’s not the truth at all. She knows it too. Her grip on your arm tightens. 

“Really?” Her voice is slippery smooth now, dropping an octave to the tone that always made your stomach heat up. “When you’re alone in this big house, you don’t think about my fingers or my mouth or my cock, fucking you the way only I can?” 

You shiver, body betraying you. But you hold your ground and deny it again. 

Her other hand comes up and pulls your hair, forcing your head to the side, and she puts her face next to your ear. “You forget, baby, I know what it looks like when you lie.” Her tongue licks your earlobe and you bite back a moan. 

It’s been so long, too long, since you’ve been touched. You’d have this reaction if it was anyone else, you tell yourself. 

“Do you really think that Tinder slut can fuck you right? Let me tell you a secret,” she says dangerously, one hand sliding down your body and stopping at the waistband of your shorts, giving you ample time to stop her. You don’t and she smirks, knowing she’s won. “She can’t. Only I can.” 

Her fingers dip inside and cup you over your underwear and your mind goes blank. 

“You’re telling me that you don’t think about me while you’re this wet? You’re an even worse liar than I remember,” she taunts, but you don’t care. 

You need this too bad.

“Shut up and fuck me,” you bark, moving your hips over her hand, trying to get any kind of stimulation you can. She doesn’t give you what you want. 

“Tell me the truth,” she coos. 

You’re so angry right now, but you also haven’t felt this alive in four months, so you drag her in for a bruising kiss. Her teeth clash against yours and she practically shoves her tongue down your throat and roughly bites your lower lip. You moan into her mouth and rip your arm free out of her grasp so you can scramble to get her suit jacket off. 

Figures this would be happening while she’s wearing that. 

You claw at her bare shoulders, making sure to rake your nails across her skin and she hisses with pain, so you do it again. She trails her lips down and sinks her teeth in hard to the juncture between your shoulder and neck. You yelp but it quickly turns into a moan when she moves your underwear to the side and shoves two fingers inside your waiting cunt. 

Agatha’s head drops back as your eyes roll in your head. “Fuck, baby girl, I’ve missed this,” she sighs and you pull her to you urgently for another kiss, needing to make up for lost time. 

It’s like nothing changed at all, and yet everything has, when she sets the same familiar fast pace from all those times before. 

“She’s not gonna know what you need,” Agatha pants against your lips, thumb roughly swiping at your clit, pulling frantic gasps from your mouth. “Only I do. God, I’ve missed your cunt. Say it.” 

“I’ve missed your fingers,” you finally give in and groan. 

She thrusts them particularly hard and it has you clenching around her, biting onto her shoulder. 

“And?” She urges. 

“I’ve missed you,” you whimper, and she rewards you with a twist of her digits that has you groaning. 

“Good girl,” she moans. “I’ve missed you, too.” Her admission sounds choked, and it makes the fire only burn brighter in your stomach. 

And you want more. “Tell me you think about me,” you beg, and she raises an eyebrow, stopping her thrusts to fit a third finger into you. She curls them and you whine. 

“I fucking think about you all the time,” she says like it pains her. “I miss you so fucking much.” Your breaths are intermingling with how close you are and you lift a leg up so she can get in deeper. 

“I think about you too and I fucking hate it,” you snarl witheringly and she just chuckles and scissors her fingers inside you, effectively cutting your words off for a second. “You’re always on my mind and I can’t get you out of it.” 

You’re getting closer and you know she can tell by the way your walls are fluttering around her. 

“Tell me you still want me,” she orders and you keen, hands grappling around her to pull her even closer if it’s possible. You’ve missed her so much, the way she feels against you. Everything feels right again. 

You’re clenching, getting tenser, and you know you’re about to cum. But she slows her movements and you think you could cry. 

“Tell me the truth and I’ll keep going,” she says, voice getting softer. Tears form in your eyes and you know that you’re about to change anything. 

You press your lips to hers and then pull back. “I still want you, Aggie, I still fucking love you so much.” 

And her eyes get a feral look in them that you’ve rarely seen, even when she gets most possessive. 

“Say it again,” she demands, voice low, as she starts fucking you roughly again. 

“I love you, I still love you,” you practically sob and she kisses you harder than she ever has. 

“I still love you too,” she says into your open mouth, and you cum all over her fingers. 

She gently thrusts into you while you come down from one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had. 

“I should’ve made more time for you and Nicky,” Agatha says softly. “I’m sorry, baby. I went too far and I wasn’t listening but I promise, I want to do better this time. Please, just give me another chance.” 

This is the first time you’ve ever believed her. You’ve already seen what she’s doing when she has Nicky. And to be honest, you don’t think you’ll ever stop loving her. 

“Are you sure?” You ask, just needing to be certain. “We have a lot to work on.” 

She nods. “I know, baby girl. But I love you and these last four months have been hell. I know it won’t be easy but I want to make this work. For you and for Nicky.” 

Overwhelmed, you pull her in for a long hug, finally admitting to yourself how much you need her. It felt like there was a piece missing from you, and you just got it back. 

“Okay,” you say and you feel her smile against your cheek. “Let’s do it.” 

She kisses you so sweetly it reminds you of your wedding day and then breaks it to laugh happily. 

“So what now?” You ask. 

She smirks. “I think you have a date to cancel.” 

[starryhyuck]

you & me. (m) — PATREON EXCLUSIVE

pairing: sugardaddy!jaemin x afab!reader

words: 7.2k+

summary: when your ex offers to finance you, you’re not sure how it will blur the lines of your relationship.

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: toxic!jaemin x toxic!reader, possessiveness, jealousy, daddy kink, choking, car sex, blowjob, degradation, spanking, bigdick!jaemin, creampies, use of a dildo, double penetration, mentions of anal sex, overstimulation, squirting, breeding kink, subspace

this fic is exclusive to the $5 tier on my patreon, which you can access here! below is a tumblr preview

Your boss calls your name after you finish cleaning up the last table of the night. You take off your apron, walking over to him with a curious expression. He shoves an envelope to your chest, startling you by the force.

“Someone dropped that off for you today. You better set them straight that this is not a mailing service we’re running here.”

You nod. “Yes, boss.”

You take the envelope to the back room, clocking out before opening it to see its contents. You gasp when a thick wad of cash stares back at you, enough to cover your rent for six months. There’s no note attached, but you don’t need one to know who the sender is.

You search Jaemin’s name on the internet once you step outside. There’s an article celebrating his recent promotion at the hospital, and you check which bus line you have to take in order to get there. Rage fills your vision as you stuff the envelope down your bag, heading to Jaemin’s workplace with the intent to kill.

Maybe not actually kill him, but perhaps maim and slightly injure.

When you approach the front desk demanding to see him, the nurse behind the counter gazes at you with worry.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, may I ask what this is regarding?”

“He knows what it’s about,” you hiss. Her delay only causes your temper to worsen.

She swallows at the venom laced in your voice, reaching towards the phone and dialing Jaemin’s line. They speak in hushed tones for a while before she relays to you that he’s on his way.

When you spot him striding down the hallway in his scrubs, you feel guilty for pulling him out of his important work. But the guilt is soon replaced with fury when you remind yourself why you’re here in the first place. You locate the envelope inside your bag, growling as you throw it back to him.

“I told you I don’t need your money.”

He tugs you aside into a nearby empty room, attempting to calm you down. “This money was just sitting in my bank account and I have no use for it. Please take it.”

“I am not going to owe you anything, Na Jaemin.”

“Who said I wanted you to? The funds are yours, no strings attached,” he says.

You scoff. “What’s your angle here? Do you think I’ll run back into your bed just because you pay for my bills?”

He’s offended by the accusation. “Of course not! I-I still care for you and I hate watching you struggle when you don’t have to. I want to give this to you. I want to help. Take the money, please.”

You think about how your limbs ache from your long shift and how you’ll have to return home, only sparing enough time to eat before you wake up and restart the cycle. It would be nice to receive a break, and you know how stubborn Jaemin can be when he sets his mind to something. If you deny him now, he’ll continue to persist for weeks because even he knows you’ll give in eventually.

“I’m only taking this because you’re a pompous prick,” you say, hesitantly dropping the envelope back into your bag. “But this won’t be for free. I have to give you something in return. Anything you want.”

A flash of lust sparks across his gaze, and you flush when you realize what’s on his mind. Memories of university play behind your eyelids, when he would get so jealous that the only way to appease him was to offer yourself up to him on a silver platter.

“I saw you! Laughing with him, acting like you didn’t have a boyfriend waiting back home,” Jaemin growls, causing you to roll your eyes at his behavior. “Does he know you’re seeing someone else?”

“He doesn’t care! He has a girlfriend!” You argue, pushing at his chest. “You’re acting like a lunatic.”

His eyes darken, stepping towards you and cornering you against your bed. “You know I fucking hate watching you drape yourself over someone like that. How are you going to make it up to me?”

It’s awful, you’re fully aware, but a fire ignites low in your belly at his demands. You love it when Jaemin gets like this, and you move his hand until it’s clasped over your neck.

“Take me, daddy. Take me any way you want me.”

You swallow, flitting away from Jaemin’s heavy stare. The tension in the room shifts, and a spark runs up your spine when he takes a step closer, his fingers brushing over your hip delicately. He’s inches from you, close enough for you to feel the heat of his skin. Your breath puffs out in small gasps, waiting for him to pounce.

“Anything I want, hm?” He repeats, hand wandering lower and lower. “You’ll give me anything I want?”

“Dr. Na?”

You jump away when a voice interrupts you. A nurse stands under the doorway, eyebrows raised at the two of you. You cough awkwardly into your palm while Jaemin clears his throat, regaining his composure.

“Y-Yes? What is it?” He asks, flustered by getting caught in the act.

“They’ve requested you down in the burn unit. There was a five car pile up and they’ve just brought in the survivors.”

“I’ll be right there,” he says to her. He whispers to you before leaving. “I want dinner with you this week. That’s my only request.”

You nod, gathering your sanity back after realizing you almost pounced on Jaemin in a public place and while he’s at work.

“I’ll text you.”

He wants to say more but the nurse demands his attention, so he leaves you in the empty room, craving him like you used to all those years ago.

want to read the rest? access the $5 tier on my patreon here!

[angelliicc]

don't call me again

“to be honest, i don’t care anything about you

baby it’s true, we’re already done”

masterlist

a/n its 11:30 as i type this lmao. guys i used to hate this song 😓 don’t come for me. anyways ENJOY

warnings not proofread, ex-gf!ellie

ellie was your dream girl ever since you laid her eyes on her. you thought you’d be the luckiest person in the world to date her, unfortunately it wasn’t the case. your relationship with ellie was rocky. constant arguments over stupid shit, not responding or talking to each other for days and so much more. when you attempted to strike up a conversation, all she’d do was scroll on her phone and say “mhm” without eye contact. you couldn’t keep up with this, so you called it quits. she had no reaction and honestly could care less when you told her, which led you devastated.

it was 3 am. you couldn’t sleep because you had to finish homework. “ugh, why didn’t i skip conditioning today.” you said with regret. your phone rang as it said ellie williams. “didn’t i block her? how did she get my number?”

you answered. “hello?”

e: “missin u like crazy. need u.”

e: “ hello? you’re not gonna fucking answer?you still mad at me? get over that shit and lets restart. i still love u.”

your face turned bright red with embarrassment, r: “sorry, you were cutting out, im here.”

you thought of two things. 1: play with her feelings for a bit or 2: text her and block her. you decided to have a little bit of fun before you wanted to block her. ellie after a certain time was a different person.

r: “missing me that bad you had to call me?”

e: “yeahh”

r: “how bad do u fr miss me, be honest.”

e: “you all im thinking about all day at any time. i miss you so much baby.”

r: “how’d you even get my number?”

e: “i have my ways.”

r: “i bet you do.”

e: “the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you smiled over the phone, “don’t worry about it.”

silence filled the call for a few seconds that felt like hours.

r: “don’t you have a girl?”

e: “yeah, but she don’t need to know about this. let this be our little secret.”

r: “should i take you back?”

e: “please.”

r: “nah, ive moved on. don’t call me again.”

you hung up and hit block quickly before she called you again. damn, that bitch was a home wrecker. and you didn’t want to be the cause of something. you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. you really fucking hated ellie williams.

“oh, there was a lot of talk and a lot of trouble

your story and mine are really over now”

[arthur-lesters-glabella]

So we know the next interlude is called Da Capo, the question then, while we wait for 52, is why?? It means “from the beginning” or “from the head” (notable bcs Arthur chooses heads in Coda for the coin flip- Im not mentioning anything that directly includes s3 as an option but know it’s in my thoughts always). Now the least dramatic situation is they are returned to their Arkham, having to face the beginning set-up or it transformed (ex. an apocalypse). That could be very interesting, especially if we finally deal with Parker and everything else established in s1, but there are other options.

So, next option: they are sent to this alternate universe’s Arkham and have to deal with its changes and probably solve some very existential and horrific problem like fixing the mistakes of others to avoid something in this universe.

Option 3: they go even further back to some fucked up shit like Arthur’s childhood and John stuck in the Dark World. Idk how this works but it is an option. Maybe a fix-it but more fucked.

Option 4: this actually refers to a memory wipe once again, this time Arthur to fulfill Kayne’s deal with John in Intermezzo.

Option 5: both of them are wiped and idk shit goes down- I think this unlikely

Option 6: both time and memory gets involved. Arthur and John fail to give Kayne the black stone and so he sends them back to the ep 1 situation with Arthur’s memory being wiped

Option 7: the world is destroyed and we must start anew, idk lol

Option 8: they go full fix it and are forced to go through time and space to change their fates at multiple different points (probably before finding it’s useless and somehow getting to a bittersweet end in where they have to accept a reality- not my favourite kind of ending and not quite right thematically but I’m not a writer so that’s what I got). John may or may not be sent to the Dark World to deal with his own thing at this point (look, separate bodies is my fear but I also fear the logistics of how Harlan would do so other than making John and Arthur talk to people or each others even when they aren’t there- and that HURTS mk I don’t need that in my life).

In (very weak) support of option 6 with notes on episode 1:

How does John just automatically assume correctly Arthur played the piano and possibly know that will bring his memory back or at least calm him down?? I don’t think the mind sharing worked that quickly but I’m probably wrong.

we still don’t really know why both their minds (more Arthur’s than John’s) were wiped during the assumed ritual?? Was that just part of it or was it something else- say a certain barefooted malevolent being

John is doing a LOT of the guiding in ep 1 specifically in the way of avoiding very possible disasters that come from the choices Arthur brings up which could just be asshole wisdom but ???

the first epsiode is WEIRD and so much of it still doesn’t make sense. Season 4 gives possible solutions to some of it all (like the robber at the bookshop- kinda, not rlly) but not all of it. This could very well be writing direction simply changing but I can hope otherwise.

Wtf was John doing remembering “You Call it Madness” and why was it playing in the bookshop- was this established by the cult at the hotel as part of their path or was it someone/something else simply framed as them bcs it is easy to obtain a pallid mask?

On the same note as the last note, “You Call It Madness” has the lyrics “I can’t forget the night I met you, it’s all I’m dreaming of” which puts… a considerable amount of emphasis on memory in John and Arthur’s relationship.

We also know the s6 cover is grey and black and fabric-esk (mind you, it’s also giving fabric or water over top of a grey stone or flesh or beach?? I never know with these covers) calling to both s1 and s4. Why? This is where another option comes in.

Option 9: they go back to the end of s4 an have to restart their quest. Not my favourite option but an option.

And another (unrelated to the cover) option 10: This is actually referring to a loredrop from an entity about how shit has gone from the very beginning- whether that is when we start to follow them along or before than.

Option 11: they get separate bodies and it refers to John learning how to do things like a human “from the beginning.” (Also the awful pun that he is moved from the head)

So after all that, my conclusion really is I’m just worried and this is a mess because I archived the time and memory fuckery theories in the back of my mind and they have crumbled slightly into dust since I last developed them. There were more ideas cooking but they have been forgotten.

[myunghology]

NOWAY SO UM, i was thinking of a prompt and then i remembered i haven’t seen this theme on ritsu so…

maybe a fic of knight!ritsu and reader being a princess/prince :3?

i have like two ideas for the fic, you can choose the one you like; the first time they meet or being in a secret relationship

Or maybe mix both 👀… ( /j but if you want oke :3 )

and em that’s all, i like your fics and smau, I’m your biggest fan wuuuu :3

✦ — REWRITE, IGNITE, RESTART.

summary a normal day in a royal highschool, you find yourself seeking warmth of a young knight, despite meeting him for the „first” time.

pairings ritsu sakuma x gender neutral! reader, ft knights <3, prince/ss x knight au!

warnings none!! wee bit of an ever after high au but i just stole the 'royal and rebel' group things for inspo HAHHA

a/n if only.

Right. How cliché. A school that seperates students from their origins.. You would complain, but it's not like you could do anything about it. You've made friends here, anyways.

Students separated into two groups— one's with direct Royal status, and one's far from it— or one's who usually served for them. This sounds scandalous, but it really isn't.

Take your friends for example! Tsukasa Suou, the next heir to his family. Of course he was bound to be famous for it. You were also included in that group— the only child of a queen! Obviously, you were close with Suou.

Hmm, yes. Him and his friend group of Knights. And one princess. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a small girl crush on Arashi.

— "I have never said that! What on earth are you babbling about?!" You snap out if your thoughts as you hear the young heirs voice from across the school's halls, he seems to be arguing with one of his friends again, your eye twitching from the sudden noise.

You approach the noise, seeing the short ex-king, now bound to be a knight. And the up and coming king, Ah. What an old sight. Tsukasa Suou and Leo Tsukinaga, as always.

"Suo~ I was just kidding! You always take jokes seriously.. You're such a killjoy!" Leo growls at him as Tsukasa closes his eyes, as if bracing for impact. My God, don't they get tired from bickering all day?

You feel fingers hands tap you on your shoulder, you turn around and see Arashi standing in front of you. And thus— you can't hold in your complaint anymore.

"Don't they get tired from arguing all day? I feel like I want to shit myself from how much they do it. It's the fifth time this week and it's Wednesday!" You whine, making the young princess in front of you giggle.

"You'll get used to it soon enough," She teases playfully, as the sight unfolds, Sena ironically joining the argument. You sigh, whilst Arashi shakes her head and changes the topic.

"Anyway, love, have you seen Ritsu?" She asks, as you try to hide the visible blush on your face. "No.. Didn't see him in alchemy classes today, actually." You answer, pouting.

"You miss your husband, don't you?" She laughs at your pout, but somehow still managing to tease you. "Don't even... My own parents don't even know that me and Ritsu know each other." You complain internally.

The princess tilts her head, "Seriously?" She asks in pity, your pout slowly getting more visible, as she takes that as a 'yes'.

The day passes by quickly, you find yourself seeking for the young Knight. As a response— you end up going to his favorite sleeping places.

Haaa..~ the young Sakuma. Always wandering around. No wonder why this guy was distantly related to the Cheshire Cat. He was almost exactly like him.

The sun is almost about to set, the school's yard still looking as beautiful as it's always been. You've usually found Ritsu here when he wasn't in classes, I mean.. Who wouldn't? It's gorgeous.

You feel a hand cover your eyes, a frown plastering your face before a voice perks up. "Guess who?"

What a familiar voice. Wow, who could it be?

"Ritsu. I'll kill you." You scowl at him as the male scoff, removing his hand. "Language," Ritsu warned, before ruffling your hair, messing it up slightly.

"I'm sorry, my prince/ss. Do you want me to give you my lap for your royal nap needs? Want a pillow? A blanket, too?"

Ritsu could not be more sarcastic and teasing if he tried.

"What do you mean, 'Language'? I didn't even swear." A tired groan comes out of your lips as you say that, making him laugh. "What's up? You wanted to find me, no?"

". . . . Nuh uh."

"Hah."

"I'm gonna go back home for summer break. You coming with me?" You ask, raising an eyebrow slightly. Ah. That's what it was.

"So.. To put it in words, you're leaving me?" Ritsu asks, cocking his head to the side, replicating your eyebrow raise. "I literally just asked you if you wanted to stay with me." You huff, turning away from him.

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah..." He whined, tugging on your hand before you got too far away. As if he already knew you were about to walk away.

"You'll get lost without me. And you'll get into trouble. Don't do that. You're mine, remember?" If anything, Ritsu couldn't stand boredom. He would rather spend his time with his prince/ss than lay around alone and have nothing to do.

"You're usually the one who gets me into trouble." You retort, trying to pull away from his grip, but it was already inevitable.

"... True... true..." He muses, a smirk spreading across his face as he kept his grip on you. "But you love me, remember?"

Ah yes. How could one forget Ritsu's insufferable teasing?

"Unfortunately." A pout plastered on your face, the knight letting out another scoff, shaking his head.

Ritsu gave you a teasing, slightly mocking gasp as he pretended to be offended at such a dry response. "You wound me. Here I am, trying to be a loving, supportive boyfriend, and you're giving me a unfortunately? Where's the 'I love you too?' or the I love you more?'" He groaned dramatically, putting his hand to his forehead.

"You aren't answering my question." Deadpanning, glaring at him as he sighs and caves in. "I can't.." He mutters unexpectedly, making your eyes widen.

That was a rare answer.

The male offers to take you back to your palace, a pout placed on your face the whole way there. Seeing this chance— Ritsu obviously teased you the whole way home.

The sun sets quickly and you're already back, your eye twitching once you hear from your mother to get changed into something proper, as something important came up.

You were now standing, right in the middle of the great hall with your parents, head tilted in confusion.

Until—

"Ah, yes! [Name], my darling," Your mother calls out, before continuing. "We've hired someone new for you— to keep you safe. After what happened before.. I wouldn't even dare to let you out our sight!" She exaggerates, making your head tilt.

"So.. Who's gonna be following me around this time?" You ask, sucking in a sharp breath through your teeth before a smooth voice interrupts you— your eyes widening.

"I'm sorry I'm late. Wouldn't be so much of a knight if I was late to meeting you, now would I?" You freeze as a familiar voice comes from behind you as you quickly turn around, seeing the same black haired male you once saw earlier.

Your dad smiles unknowingly, "Ritsu Sakuma, he's gonna be by your side 24/7, from now on!" You laugh sheepishly, before retorting. "Not in my sleep too, right?"

"Do you want me to?" He hums right next to your ear, making you shiver. "No- I just.."

"Relax, [Name]. Me and your mother will go out for just a short amount of time, so he'll be here to keep you safe for the time being." Your father says— in a rather calm voice. "I can take care of myself.."

"Sure you can."

myunghology: part 2 when hahahah idk bro

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; special chapter

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 1.5k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | the best way to celebrate my birthday is through writing angst lol this is the lastpain for mc and tae for now. see y'all in chapter 11! enjoy reading!

main masterlist | series masterlist

This is probably the closest you two have ever been after the accident. His hand was on your waist while the other held yours. He looked at your eyes looking back at him too. No words were said under the starlit night sky. But it was strangely comfortable this time. He finds it strange not in a bad way. It was strange because slow dancing with you was just so easy. 

How did you even end up in this situation?

Earlier, Taehyung saw you leaving the reception after talking with the newlywed couple. You hugged both Jisoo and Namjoon before he heard you saying you were going. But a lot of guests were still at the reception event, he probably noticed just a few ones going like Julia and her date. Still, everyone is enjoying the celebration when you walk away with your clutch and bouquet of tulips. He followed after you.

“YN,” he called behind you.

You stopped, turning around, “Yes?”

Then, a familiar soft instrumental played in the background, indicating the newlyweds making their first dance inside the venue. As if he hadn’t learned anything from last night, he said the first thing he could,

“Can we dance?”

“Sorry?” you said with an awkward chuckle.

But Taehyung went on. Based on what you said from the night before, this might be his last chance. Might as well take a risk.

He gulped before answering, “Please? Before you go?”

You blinked before sighing, “Okay… Here?”

Taehyung looked around. Since his invite was unplanned, he pointed to the first space he spotted. The space where the wedding ceremony occurred hours ago. The chairs and the whole set-up were still there. You accepted when Taehyung offered his arm to assist you as you two walked to the spot.

“Okay, you put this here. It’s fine.” 

Feeling lighter now, you chuckled when you noticed him being unsure if he should hold your waist. You see his hand lift but he puts it down. So you took it yourself and put it on your waist and just like a long-lost bracelet you wore on your wrist again, his hand on your waist brought waves of nostalgia in you. And Taehyung felt the same thing. Nostalgia. Even though his earliest memory of you is you in his hospital room. Touching you, looking at you, and slow dancing– everything just felt right with you in it.

And he knew that there was something special with you. But he cannot just really point it out now. But he can say how your eyes spark brighter now than last night or days before this.

But I promise you this

I'll always look out for you

Yeah, that's what I'll do

The lyrics play in your head as your thumb draws circles on Taehyung’s shoulder. His soft gaze can surely make you melt but you knew you needed to be strong. 

Looking at Taehyung in this light reminds you of how much he made you love slow dancing. Before meeting him, you always thought it was too cheesy. But this man would always pull your hand to sway you in a song he played or hummed. He would do it unexpectedly; in the times you didn’t know you needed it. And God knows how much you need it now even though the Taehyung in front of you didn’t know anything about these endless memories you have with him.

“And if I accidentally step on your toe?” you asked randomly when he pulled you in for a slow dance on a random Wednesday night.

He smiled as he shook his head, “Don’t worry, you won’t.”

“I will,” you said, looking down to watch your feet.

“My love,” he calls for you, softly pulling your chin up so you can meet his eyes. “You know me so well and so do I to you.”

“So?” you asked, pursing your lips.

“It means we have this wonderful connection and understanding to one another. You can just look into my eyes to know what my next move is. You’ll feel it.” he rested his forehead on yours before he whispered, “Just follow what you feel.”

Now, slow dancing with Taehyung is a bittersweet reminder for you of old memories you’ve been wanting to have again. You miss slow dancing at the most unanticipated time of your day. You miss his blueberry cheesecake. You miss opening your eyes in the morning, just to be greeted by his puckered lips and small snores. You miss hearing old jazz, coming back home. You miss drinking tea with him late at night while talking about each other’s day. You just miss him.

Although the moon and stars are your only light at the moment, Taehyung can see the glistening in your eyes, along with pain and sadness. You turned your head down while biting your lower lip as tears began slipping down. Gently, Taehyung places his chin above your head, listening to your quiet sobs, as you sway along the soft melody in the background. A crack was beginning to form in his heart, and he felt helpless. He wished that the accident just never happened. He knew you and what you two had was more than special. It’s awful to get you through this hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered the words he knew he should say, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

He whispered it over and over again, hoping it could make what you feel less heavy, as he planted kisses on your hair. You just listened to his apologies, closing your eyes. Tears continuously slipped down your cheeks. In every sorry he lets out; you nod. It was like your way of telling him that it’s fine. Because he knows that is who you are: patient and understanding. 

“I’m sorry. Let me apologize. I have my faults too from the start.”

You can feel Taehyung’s hand moving from your waist to your back. This time, he’s just hugging you, still swaying.

“I will try harder. Please, please don’t get tired of me yet. I’m sorry.”

This time, you didn’t nod. It took you a few minutes to pull away and look up at him again. Your hands moved from his shoulders down to his arms until you held his hands. It made him feel warm for a second. With tear-stained cheeks, you smiled at him.

“Thank you for this, Taehyung.” you began, softly squeezing his hands. “But I need to go.”

You closed your eyes as Taehyung turned his head down, his heart breaking at the process. You continued,

“I appreciate you trying and giving me a chance to take care of you. But I just really have to go. I need to do this.”

You sniffed, chuckling with a bitter taste in your mouth,  “I really thought I could last months without you saying I love you to me… But how can I do that if you always made me feel loved? I got used to you doing the love part for me that I forgot how to do it myself when you also forgot about me… Now, I needed to learn that on my own.” 

Taehyung is still not meeting your gaze. So you softly lift his chin. Then, you held his cheek with your thumb feeling his cheekbone, comforting him as you told him,

“I’ll go with Julia and Chanyeol tonight since they are driving back home. I’ll make sure I’m gone by the time you get home. Please don’t come after me or contact me. It will be easier for me. We can talk about the house when I get back on my feet again. But for the moment, you can do whatever you want with– Please don’t cry, Tae.” Your voice shakes when tears run down her cheeks. “Please. We need to be apart,”

“A-Am I going to see you again?” he murmured, in a sob.

You pursed your lips before answering, “I don’t know. I honestly hope so. I hope our roads cross sometime, someday.”

Taehyung’s lips formed into a frown and he closed his eyes, tears just streaming freely. When he opens his eyes, he sees you staring at him endearingly with the same sadness in your eyes. With his cheek still in your palm, you stepped closer. Taehyung can feel his heart beating heavier but faster. Everything around him is silent except for the rustling of the leaves nearby and he can only focus on you. He can feel knots being formed in his stomach as your other hand holds his chest. Your touch simply brings warmth and coziness to him. You leaned in slowly and Taehyung closed his eyes. 

Soft and sweet. Those were the first words in his head as he felt your lips on his. He felt a spark of electricity in his system at that moment. It felt right and perfect. He wanted to touch you and pull you closer but you pulled away before he even could. It felt long and short at the same time. Unexpectedly, you two both had tears slipping down your cheeks. His heartbeats were loud, he feared you even heard it. Your lips quivered as you told him with a heavy heart,

“I love you. I love you so much than you could remember, Taehyung.”

With that, you turned your back and walked away.

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RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

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[stinkysam]

Roronoa Zoro - Well, this is awkward.

Warning : none

Genre : angst-ish

Synopsis : “zoro and his ex boyfriend run into each other again and a lot of old feelings are brought back (maybe they break up due to mutual differences like zoro wanting to become the world best swordsman)” - anon

Reader : male (you/yours)

He grimaces, eyes wide as he sees you. What the fuck ? That's not what he had expected. What are you doing here ?

He tries to look for his crew to hide amongst them but they got fucking lost as usual and are nowhere to be found. It's not as if he could hide well between 4 people anyway. They should at least be 10.

Shit ! You've spotted him. What to do ? What to do ? He tries to act casual, looking through a window shop as if interested by the clothes displayed.

His heart was beating fast in his chest. Both stressed to see you again and happy. But he wouldn't admit the latter.

You were in the same state, unable to know what to do. Should you greet him ? Has he seen you ? Could you leave if not ? What if he had ?

You take a deep breath and decide to go to him. After all, you were still curious about him and you've heard a lot about the pirate hunter.

“Hey, Zoro.” You call, standing next to him. He hums, acknowledging you, and keeps focusing on what's in front of him. You smile, trying to remain unmoved by his lack of interested response.

“So uh,” You clear your throat. “How are you doing ?”

“Fine…” He glances at you. “And you ?”

“I'm okay…” I miss you, you want to say.

You look at each other, unsure of what to say. You clear your throat again.

“Wanna buy a dress ?” You say, pointing with your head what he was standing in front of.

He grimaces, slightly embarrassed.

“Uh… no. I was uh, trying to avoid you.” He finally admits, hoping his words don't hurt you too much.

“Yeah, I figured. You should've gone inside.” You joke, ignoring the tug at your heart.

He agreed, though he was glad he didn't go in.

“So, pirate hunter, yeah ?”

“Not anymore. On the other side now.” He smiles, finding it a bit funny.

“Oh.” You couldn't help but smile too. “Siding with the marines didn't suit you anyway.”

“I wasn't with the marines.” He defended himself.

“So you're a pirate now ?”

“The future best swordsman in the world, yeah.”

Your smile fell a bit at his words, reminding yourself why you two broke up.

“Ah.”

“I never dropped my dream.” He adds, determination spewing from his words. You frowned. Did he think you dropped yours ?

“Me neither. I will be the best swordsman.” You declared, hand on your heart.

“No. I will.”

You glared at one another for a second, before both looking away with a sigh. It was starting again.

You both wanted to be the best and that's what drove you apart. Being rivals could be tough for a relationship. Unwavering competitiveness, constantly arguing, refusing to show weakness and vulnerability. Slowly you stopped saying “I love you” and began to wonder if you still felt it, that love you had for each other, overshadowed by your bullheaded dreams.

You tried to get rid of your animosity, not wanting it to ruin your sudden reunion. You hadn't left on good terms and wanted to change that.

You looked down, swallowing your pride.

“I missed you.” You say and he looks at you surprised, his heart doing somersault, not believing you would say it.

It's his turn to look down, debating whether he should speak his mind as well. It's true he had missed you too, but he didn't want to restart something that was doomed to fail.

“I… Yeah… I missed you too.” He finally said. Admitting it doesn't mean you two would be a thing again, after all.

Taken by a surge of confidence you continue in your momentum.

“You know, I think I never stopped loving you. Even when we hated each other.”

He looks at you with wide eyes, not knowing what to answer. That's not what he had planned for the day, at all. But his heart felt at ease, happy, beating smoothly in his chest, knowing your feelings for him had never vanished.

He feels bashful, just like the day you asked him out after a sword fight together.

You can see his ears redden along his cheeks, he still doesn't know what to say. Saying “I love you” has never been easy. But he has to say something, he has to tell you the truth.

“I didn't hate you either.” It's not an ‘I love you too’ but it's close, and it'll do.

You smiled, happy to know he felt the same.

“Wanna… grab a beer ?” You ask, wondering if it was too much.

“Yeah.” He simply answers, turning to you, ready to follow you. It was just a drink. Not the start of anything if not of your renewed friendship.

[faghubby]

Virgin Cuckold

It was 1992 I met Mary I was 19. And still a virgin. Mary 17 was still in high school. After a few dates. Mary asked how many woman I had been with. I lied and told her some crazy inflated number to sound like a stud. I guess I went too high because it worried Mary. Since she had told me she had been with four guys. It didn't scare her enough to break uo with me just wait to have sex. I missed the signs when she was ready to have sex a few weeks later. I must of missed a bunch because she finally confronted me.

"Paul, you haven't been with anyone have you?" She asked I really liked her. And I confessed that I had lied.

"I can't believe you lied to me" she said crying she left. It was a few days when I heard from her again. She just appeared at my door. I was so happy to see her.

"You can never lie to me" Mary told me. "But before we get back together I have to tell you. I met up with my ex the night I left. I was frustrated and mad at you." She told me.

"You slept with him?" I asked almost crying.

"No I fucked him, he was always good at making me cum" she told me. "Now why don't we restart this relationship. If you can be honest with me I will be honest with you" Mary told me.

"Yes, I would love that" I told her.

"Good, now have you ever even scene a woman naked?" She asked. I confessed I had not really ever scene a woman naked. She took off her shirt and stood before me in her simple white bra.

"Now we are going to go slow. Because you are so behind. I showed my breast to Bobby. In 7th grade. She then unhooked her bra. And for the first time I saw a real full on set of tits. They where big but not huge. I later learned a D cup. She let me touch them kiss them she told me how she liked them caressed not squeezed and her nipples nibbled a little but not bit. She allowed me to "play with then while we made out. But no further.

Later as she got dressed.

"You got me so horny now, I am going to meet up with Allen (the ex) and have him satisfy me" she stated.

"What? You aren't serious?" I said getting loud.

"Of course I am, you have no idea how to satisfy me. And I want to cum not have a teaching lesson. Today you learned breasts" she told me. She squeezed my erection thru my jeans. "Besides you seem to like it" she kissed me and turned around. I grabbed her arm. She spun around the look on her face scared me she was mad.

"Don't you ever grab me like that again" she said getting right in my face. "I will deal with this later" and she left.

I called her later that night to apologize. We talked she openly talked about how Allen had pleased her. And about how well I had done exploring her breasts. I also got scolded when I referred to them as tits. And told to never call them that again.

We meet up again two days later. Where she allowed me to see her in just her panties. We made out and rubbed against each tpother she made me keep my pants on. And hands above her panties. We dated as a normal couple. Hanging out, movie, dinner. But when alone she taught me about sex and a woman's body. Slowly painfully so. Next time I was allowed to take off my pants. And show her my dick. Which she played with alittle but didn't let me cum. Instead she spoke about how I was kinda on the small side. Although she did this in a almost compassionate way. Next she let me see her completely naked. But it was like a science class. She spread her legs and explained the different parts and where to kiss, and lick. Rub even nibble. Told me how she even liked when her asshole was kissed. Slowly she let me taste, and try different things. She was still fucking Allen almost every night. But I was the one getting her time and affection. Allen was an asshole. In her words.

It had been two weeks since this all started when she allowed me to make her cum with my tounge. I was beaming with pride. And recieved heavy praise.

"Do you think now you could?" I asked looking down at my throbbing dick.

"Well we need to take care of some things first and I wasn't sure exactly how to do that till recently." Mary told me. "You see you have never been punished for lying, and I know you been cheating on me. Rushing home to jerk off after we make out" Mary continued

"Have you ever been spanked by your father?" She asked. A bit confused

"Yeah, I got the belt quite a few times growing up" I told her.

"Good, give me your belt" Mary said

"You are going to spank me?" I asked

"Yes I am" she said calmly. Taking my belt. I was naked still.

"Lean over the desk" Mary told me

"Mary, I don't think" I pleaded

"Lean over the desk now" she ran the belt along the side of my dick. I did as she said.

"As soon as I did she bought the belt down hard. I jumped and ran to the corner.

"Get back here. Or get out" Mary stated she was dead serious. I dropped my head and leaned back over the desk.

"That really hurt" I wimpered as I did the belt again stung across my ass.

"You will never lie to me again" she stated and another blow. "You will ask before you play with your little penis" followed by another blow.

"No more whining about Allen or anyone else I choose to fuck" followed by another blow. "I don't want you looking or even thinking about another woman" again another blow. My ass was on fire. She dropped the belt.

"Come here" she said softly. "I am sorry but i have to teach you there are consequences to lieing" she cooed as I sat next to her she reached down and jerked me off with two fingers. This time she let me cum. As she held me.

Mary continued to "teach me" how to please her. How to behave around her. How to treat her. After a few weeks I stopped pestering her about sex. Instead spent time pleasing her. And very happy when she decided to please me. With her hand. But most often allowed me to masterbate in front of her. She didn't mention Allen but I knew she was still fucking him.

My parents loved Mary they swore I was better with her. I never swore any more. And would never talk back or start an argument with anyone. Actually everyone loved Mary. My friends where jealous. She was really hot and just so nice. My family thought of her as a daughter.

I never refused her anything. I didn't have alot of money but she didn't care she was happy to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie on Saturday night.

I took her to her prom where she went off and spent half the night getting fucked by two boys she went to school with. As I just sat in the corner not knowing anyone listening to the music. I had rented a limo. And as we left she asked me.

"Would you make me cum with your tounge?" I pulled up her dress she wore no panties and I saw cum leaking from her.

"Mary I cant" I said looking in her eyes.

"Yes you can, try" she said lovingly. I went back down and kissed all around avoiding where she wanted me. She grabbed my head and pushed my face into her messing pussy. Cum smeared across my face.

"Do it now or I will spank you with the limo driver watching" she told me. I knew I wouldn't win and surrendered liking this guy's cum.

"See I knew you could do it" Mary told me as she massaged my head as I consumed her pussy. Not stopping until she came twice.

"That was wonderful, I hope you do that everyday" she told me kissing me she tasted both hers and the two men's fluids.

After that she stopped even leading me on about having sex with me ever. For the next two years I spent several nights a week licking her used pussy. She asked me to marry her, well more like told me I was going to marry her. On our wedding night she took my ass with a strapon. Now as we are about to celebrate our 5 year anniversary. She wants me to learn to get men's cum from the source. We are also expecting our first child. Mary laughs that I will be the first virgin father.

[that-smallinjured-bowylamb]

I Want To Love, But I'm Afraid It'll End Badly.

A/n: Nope, not an x reader, this is for my Indulgence... a many possible ships if you will. Yes, I'm shipping, and yes I am multi-shipping. But none of them had been confirmed to be a true ship, since my OC is insecure and this world [I'm talking abt OUR real world] corrupted her sm that she really can't trust herself to love someone. And the staff are platonic. 🎀🪽 and if your asking how many yumeshipping there is in here... uhh, idk. And if you wanna know what this is all about, it's just her everyday life thing and her dynamics with TWST characters. Oh, and meet her, uhm... old ex crush/friend/boyfriend... (<- trust me, he's much more worse in the original story, where "Fia" haven't went to TWST he's a lot more worse than who he is now since they aren't in an actual 'relationship'...)

Warning ⚠️: Tyron is his own warning, implications of a toxic relationship, angst(?), comfort(?), OC is very depressed (bc she came from the real world), vague mentions of trauma (internalized fear of men, and whatnot), "Fia" is slightlyyy delusional, but since it's a self-ship (and multi) I'll pretend everyone likes her (but vaguely), mentions of her g[[r]]apist, nudity (but nothing sexual), insecurity, jealousy, bro I don't even know how to warn you with the fact there is so many problems going on with her so I'm stating the simple ones since the complex ones are hard to list, idk I just like the fact that they're pining, no actual confessions (more like cockblocks LMAO), self-ship (insert?), bro is it insane for me to say idk how to write my own OC? I hope not, OOC(?), I'm absolutely bullshitting at the fact I don't know how to self-indulge here without it being OOC, if you don't know who this OC is she's my Yuume, if it gets confusing it is because we are in "Fia"'s perspective [<-or how she views the reality around her], Fia Rodriguez is different every time she switches forms, shit gets confusing even I don't know what the hell I'm writing, if you see your fav twst character in here, it is just the wind 🙏, use of "girl" and "prefect" since idk what to call her.

P.s: if you do not know "perspective" in this fic, it basically means how she sees it, no its not in first POV it's actually how she perceives the world. So I'm not using "I" or "me" since it isn't confirmed to be first POV. Anddd, if you don't understand what exactly she's been through, check out my 2nd blog in the navigations, it'll give you the details (though, I'd prefer if you do it now before reading this, up to you.) Oh and +bonus, "Fia" views everything platonic, no matter how painfully obvious the romantic gestures are. You could kiss her cheek and she'd assume it's friendship (well I mean it could, but unless the intentions from the other party is different), and even if she knows romance, she still doesn't know if it applies to her as well, so she's slightly dumb when it comes to people crushing/admiring her. But if you see her rambling about her friends in her mind? Yeah, that's her rambling, but since you take your time reading it, just assume she's thinking about it while doing things, multi-tasking. Because yk, you're in her thoughts.

Please do not read/comment if you don't like this fic.

"Fia Rodriguez" perspective

"..." the girl shifted around the bed, she just woke up, the sun seeping through her ragged curtains. Fluttering her eyes open, she lay still in bed looking like she was in thought, she was thinking about nothing. She could think about nothing, Grim was lying beside her. Snoring peacefully and talking in his sleep about his supposed superiority. The prefect always stood out, not in a good way. The feeling of eyes, eyes of men, scare her. Imagine- being in a room filled with men whom you can't recognize? A place, where you do not belong? That, that thought alone scares her. She had little to a few amount of friends, back in her world. Yet, now she has to restart. Over and over and over again. But, the thing is, this time, it felt unreal. This game- no, world felt unreal.

It never felt real. It always felt off.

From the magic, traditions, languages, lessons, and to the society. Everything here was off. That is because she is from a different world. Fia mentally noted, always aware but somehow still misses things. She's never gotten the peace she was looking for. She can't overcome her fears even when it seems easy to others. She was stubborn, but kept going with the same attitude from last year, well, until she was transported, that is. She wants to die, she really wants to disappear. It had been years of her yearning for someone who's out of reach. It hurts her, but she'd rather vy for their love rather than make a move, like a coward. Then she'll wither and suffer-

"Heyyyyy! Prefect, are ya still asleep? C'mon we gotta go to class! Me 'n Deuce are waitin' for ya!" A familiar redhead shouted from downstairs, snapping her out of her trance. Of course, they'd interrupt the moment where she'll feel sad, but it had always been like this, as she observed. Or, better say, noticed. She never hated these interruptions say, it's more like... annoying in a way, depending on the current situation.

That was her last talk from her thoughts, before she stood up, went to the showers to clean herself, and look at herself in the mirror. Looking at her naked self, she hated it all.

Her body was always the object on display. It's the body, not her soul. Or, if she ever had one?

Her chest had always been small, her body less desirable to anyone's standards, a skinny bone, left for no good use. But, it was either the hate or the constant need to sexualize her for no reason. All because of seeing her skin and thinking it'd be funny if they'd make inappropriate jokes about it. It never felt good. She wanted to feel at home, to be safe, and comfortable with her own body. But nothing felt right. Something was always missing. This time, she feels physically incomplete without wings. Angel wings, the ones that make her look like a free dove. "Fia" cherished her long hair, before it was cut short. But it's alright, she always has other methods to complete the 'incomplete'. Ace and Deuce never truly saw 'her' but it was for the best. What if they start making fun of her? Laugh at her for being undesirable? What will she do, if she had lost the only friends that actually treated her as such...? The other women, especially who had been praised for their appearance and personality. Yet, when she does it, it always seemed unattractive to her and everyone else. This- she does not like her own body, she must change it to please others. So she could hear the praises, the compliments, the positive commentary, the validation that she's enough- she wants that, but not in this body. No, it never felt right. But, how will she know if it isn't right when she can't show herself? She doesn't. That's the point. Yet here she is, going to disguise herself once more. For the fear of being judged. Fia Rodriguez finishes changing her clothes, closing her 'personal' thoughts, for now.

Going downstairs, she immediately had her moods changed, literally. Her mood, which she calls her personality. Changes depending on the person she's with. She was ditzy and happy to see her friends, Ace, Deuce, along with Grim. "Henchuman, what took you so long?" Complained the dire beast.

"I'm sorry! I just had difficulty with my bow..."

And it was true, she didn't know how to tie bows, laces, or tie it completely without it looking a bit disordered, "Hahhh, just ask house-warden Riddle. He'll be more than happy to help you... As long as you don't break the rules that is." Ace quickly added in haste. What for? "Hmmm, alright..." Fia mumbles, "but isn't it... I don't know, I just don't wanna ask him, it's like disturbing him and-" "Whaa?? You're not a bother at all?? No need to worry with that stupid head of yours, just go for it !" The redheaded said, already walking out the door, "C'mon, let's go!" Beamed the blue Spade. Holding out a hand to Fia while Grim seated on his left shoulder. Fia took his hand, but never fully gripped it. She just lets him drag her wherever he goes, usually with Ace. While the duo were talking, arguing, making jokes, and talking about upcoming events, Fia twiddled her untied bow. Lost in thought, she wondered if she'd ever be loved, but that's all she thinks about. Love, love, love. Deprived of a specific love she wants to experience so badly. But it'll never arrive, will it? No point in grieving about the past, she never did. She only feared it'd happen again. Especially when her... ex-crush had made multiple incidents with her. None of them were pure, only intentionally ill. And, like fate hearing her thoughts, Ace had mentioned how there might be a new transfer student, Deuce comments on how abrupt that transfer sounded, and Grim didn't care about it, although he is suspicious. Fia perked up at the mention of a 'transfer' student, it wasn't rare in her school. But, it certainly was uncommon to have a sudden transfer in the middle of a semester. "What? Can you please repeat that again...?"

Deuce turns to look at her, but Ace didn't still walking and focusing on what's in front of him, "Well, since you've asked, there's this new student that had been around lately. He said he was here for a week and decided to transfer in here. Said his name was, uhhh... somewhere with Ty, I think? I dunno." Ace shrugged.

What...? No, no. Fia, you're just imagining things, paranoia doesn't look good on you. Enough, stop it. Stop. It's okay. No need. Don't. No need. Don't panic. It's alright. It's a coincidence. A coincidence. A place where you can call, a safe space. It's okay.

Fia was panicking. Panicking so much she hasn't noticed her friends waving their hands in front of her.

"...ia?" "...ia!"

One, two, three, breath.

"..odrigues..!"

One, two, two, one? One, two, breath. Two, one, breath? The only thing she can hear now, is just her breathing. And the alarming sounds of friends. Friends? She had those. Wait, but she needs-

"Fia Rodriguez." A new voice has appeared. Professor Crewel. He reminds her of Teacher Michelle... she trembles.

"Uhm, yes?" The girl meekly replied, "What is the matter with you? Are you alright?" Crewel concernedly asked. He worried that one of his students, especially a female, had been zoning out earlier. Even though she had done this before, this one had been the longest, yet.

"Uhmm, yeah, uh-huh. I just zoned out and thought about the upcomings, sorry." She nodded in confirmation, the girl looked solemnly upset about something, she wasn't one to hide emotions like the rest of the student body.

"Alright, if that's what you say. Go on, and sit next to your friends." He nudged, sending her to the assigned seat for her. Potionology was a very interesting subject, obviously for her because she's 'magicless' and from another world. Then, as she was trying to focus. Sounds came in.

No, it's not scary, just sounds. People whispering, clock ticking throwing papers, making noises with their mouth, sound effects, pencils sounds, pens clicking, chewing, breathing, breathing, breathing, breathing- Inhale. Exhale.

Then there were lots of movements, fidgeting around pens and pencils, clacking on the table, the professor moving in gestures, tapping his pointer on the board, the clock moving in time, paper being thrown shaped into paper planes, movement on the front, moving, moving, moving- breath.

Her clothes were tight, too tight. She didn't like it, she wanted to rip it out, feel free. Pressure. Pressure from all the questions and hurried answers, each time moving from student to student, voices. Voices from individuals. Individuality is rare being yourself. It never felt like her, not at all. Her wings, her beautiful, precious wings. The feeling of freedom on her back. But her hair, her long hair. Representing Rapunzel's hair. Her favorite Disney princess, the hair that grew longer and longer never cut, it always symbolized of sorts. She couldn't figure out what. She misses, she cherishes, she adores, and admired her beautiful long hair. Before it was cut. But, how? When? Where? Why? She couldn't remember. But she knew she didn't like it, when someone cuts her hair off.

She was getting bored, in this classroom. She doesn't know why she feels like it, but it does. She wants to leave and sleep. She's exhausted. Early in the morning, yet she wants to sleep. So, so, so badly.

☆~~———~~☆

Next was history, something she actually cared about. It was her hyper-fixations, really. Not that it's a bad thing, but it kinda is. When it gets too unhealthy, otherwise. Everything here is confusing. Just as how it's supposed to be when you are from another world, right? She doesn't understand a thing, but she's taking notes down. She likes history. Everything else in here was a blur, muffled voices inside memories of her friends beside her. But she liked to note that there would be a quiz about it next week. So, she's gotta be diligent with her studies from now on, if she has any motivation for that.

☆~~———~~☆

Next was P.E. where she saw most of her friends doing laps or other exercises like that. She had met up with Floyd and Jade, who were doing broom lessons. It's weird, seeing brooms fly when they're meant to be fairytales. Not something she can believe straight out of the book. But something was always disturbing her at the back of her mind, Ty. Something that could eerily be similar to someone she had met before. Someone, she despised as a kid. Not that anyone would've cared. A tap landed on her shoulder and it was Lilia, coming to say hi. They exchanged a few chatters and laughter from each other, waving goodbye afterward since it was his turn to practice. It was strange. How they all seemed so beautiful and they can't even see that, and "Fia"? Only God's favorite can tell that she's not one to be complimented without being someone else. She won't be loved by anyone anyway. What's the point of crushing on her friends? She could always pretend.

Riddle Rosehearts, someone whom she had admired from afar. Anyone, especially the rowdy ones of her friends knew that Riddle was intelligent, incredibly so. He's always determined to win first place, securing a spot for himself, a hard worker, and a disciplined child. But there were flaws with that. His anger is quick to wake, his speeches always leave no room for argument, and he lacks social awareness and emotional intelligence. This is where she steps up, she'd help him understand that there are more feelings in emotion. There can't be two then more, but he's still in the process of understanding.

Trey Clover is someone who seems normal, easy-going, and lax. But, in dire moments, he hesitates. He panics, not outwardly, but inwardly. He is someone she liked the most, an 'ideal' man. He does everything the men she usually sees, can't. He has a supportive role, whilst maintaining an entire dorm. Knowing that would often stress him out, she always seeks to confide him with peace, and normal conversations. She wants to ease his internal anxiety for the oncoming trouble the next day or another, but she's not sure if she can.

Cater Diamond, someone who she's quite similar with, but not exactly. He has problems dealing with his older sisters in his house. She wants to support him, and wants him to feel like himself, well, whatever that meant but you get it. She'll start off little, asking how was his day, or simple questions like a favorite color or taste. She thinks it'd be much more easier to start simple rather than go forward, since that'll only build the barrier, or so she thought. She's not sure if he appreciates the constant questions about his day or anything. She'll never know. She's not good with social cues.

Ace and Deuce. Nothing much is wrong about them, except for their dynamic. One is disingenuous and a runny mouth the other is too honest and lacks self-control. But it's alright, she will try to help. Even if it's annoying, she won't persist. Until everything gets exhausting for her.

Leona Kingscholar, someone who's a bit too scarily relatable to her, well... behavioral wise. She doesn't exactly know where to pinpoint but he surely can be an asshole, just not a lot as many would say. Again, she let's him relax whenever he needed to. She always brought him food, which, she hoped he ate. Always bringing him food, attempting to cook, but she only cooks successfully whenever Jamil is around. Baking with Trey sounds a bit easy too. She exhausts herself to help these guys. But, whatever Leona is going through, she'll only have to hope he pulls through.

Next was Ruggie, he reminds her of two people she had met around 5th grade to 6th. Her friend she calls "Librarian Angel" and her old classmate, Ezzedin. Ezzedin was always hungry, asking for food whenever he got the chance, at first it was annoying, like a brother disturbing a sibling. But, she's grown used to it, until he transferred that is. But also "Zy" the Librarian Angel. She loved eating, maybe not too much(?), but still, food is yummy. But Ezzedin was poor and couldn't pay for his own food, so did Ruggie. This distant resemblance causes her to treat Ruggie like how she treated Ezze, spoiling but not so much. Then again, they'll probably leave her in the end, nothing new right?

Next was Jack Howl, he was a new dynamic for her. In their friendship, she had never had seen a friend so loyal and willing to protect their friend group, or "pack" as he'd call it. Cringe, but it isn't the omegaverse so she guesses it's fine. He is a kind boy.

Now Azul Ashengrotto, someone whom she almost relates to, not as much, but from the imagery issues to intimacy problems? Yes, that's what she could relate from. He's socially aware, though. So she's not that relatable to him, at this point she could relate to every dorm/vice if their problems somewhat aligns with hers in a way. But, not the point. He was smart, so smart and beautiful, it made her want to cry sometimes. When someone could look so flawlessly pretty especially a boy, it made her want to throw up. The fact that, no matter how much she tried, it'll have never worked in her favor anyway. But she helps, she gives him occasional food in a 'bento' as one of the countries in her world calls it. With a small note that encourages him, compliments him, praising him all for his hard work. Giving him reminders that he is who he already wants to be, even if it isn't enough for him, she hopes he'll see it.

Now the Leeches... they were mean, sure, but they weren't exactly cruel. Floyd often squeezes people, not seeming to notice his strength, he gets upset randomly, but she knew he was sad, or just genuinely angry someone or something had ruined his day. She wanted to help, but she couldn't figure out how, but usually, the eel finds her before she could find him. She likes giving him headpats! But, she wonders how long this'll last before he gets bored of it... and so was Jade, he's always nearby if Floyd is in the area, never too close never too far. He's just somewhere in the area. But, she thinks he's cool in a way... besides his fascination with mushrooms or watching the trouble, besides all his intimidation, he looks like he could use a friend. If he knows what that is. She's jesting, she wants to be friends with him, but when she asked? "Oh? I thought we were already, 'friends'? Fufufu~ have you forgotten already?~' Oh, well she's not sure if he's lying or not. But, alright? She always gift him something she finds in her own hikes (<-if she decides to do so), or her plants that she grows (<-once in a lifetime). His face always lit up, a new gift and each he finds with fascination or was he genuinely surprised that she had done something for once? Giving him a friendship bracelet, especially giving it to Floyd, she thought it was sweet and wholesome. When they asked her what the friendship bracelet is for, she'd explain as a bond, a remembrance of their relationship. That way, she and they could remember each other. They went quiet, she assumed they'll break the bracelet in front of her or later, but Floyd bursts out laughing, commenting on how cute it was, Jade chuckling in some agreement to it. She thinks. But she is not completely sure. She had never been.

Next was Kalim. Oh dear, he was a bright sun, a cheery flower that sings and blooms even when there's disastrous weather. Nothing like that mattered to him, even when there were close-calls of his death, he was too important, too valuable, too precious. But thats the fate of the Al-Asim, right? So, she wants to play along, where she can let her guard down, and relax. Okay, maybe not relax because she never will be. But, you get it. Oh, and gifting him notes filled with appreciation posts for him. It's sweet, in return she gets expensive gifts. Too sweet.

Next was Jamil. Poor Jamil, always doing work, so many tasks to do. She wants to help but only if he allows it. She asks, maybe even sounding a bit pleading, but Jamil persists. So, she helps in a different way. Giving, because that's all she could think of. Her giving and him receiving. The attention, the affection, and the love of a friend. She wants to understand him, but won't push until he gives a sign for it. She's not sure if he's glad, or displeased. She's just doing what she can as a 'friend'. If that's what they see her as, she hopes. At least. But she's never even sure, when he covers himself with his hoodie, unable to see his face but filled with so much suspicion, she still won't ask. She's not pushy, just clingy.

Then there was Vil Scheonheit, an actor, a model, whatever you dreamt to be. He was amazing and up-put, it's intimidating for her. Too much intimidating. She had a rocky start with him, she's still wary of him now, despite the reassurance of others he'll start accepting what she has in mind before deciding that it isn't worth his time. She's nervous around him, but he still stand beautifully, even after the things he did. She still forgave. Call it a habit, but she always forgive, but the scars won't heal even after time passes. So, the words on the tip of his tongue always keeps her at bay, never close. Or so she thinks. What could she do? She wants to cry, run away, and disappear. But all she could do is gift him notes and gifts he might like as she strays a distance between each other, she likes to be physically 8ft away from him when walking beside him. Until she gets comfortable. Despite her understandment with Vil, just know she's powerless against those who have literal magic. Especially when those magic contains curses and poisons.

Rook, was always a strange guy to her. Not in a "your creepy" way, but in a more "I've never seen an individual like you" kind. He always waxed poems and sonnets of something he sees and deems beautiful, it's like he always sees everything beautiful. She admires that, even when there's cracks and flaws, he sees it beautiful in a way, but there are times where he'll criticize something if it truly isn't right. Maybe he will encourage you, to be more confident, to be yourself. But would it be the same if he encourages a certain someone from her past? Will he support them, compliment their slyness, or criticize them? She knows for sure it's hard supporting rapists. So maybe he most likely won't. He always said, "Beauty is everywhere it touches" but she had always wondered if he held the same beauty he speaks of. And when one day, he had told her about hunting, the thrill of it, and how long he had chased beauty, she had responded once, "But you don't need to chase beauty, your eyes hold them. You've always seen beauty in everything, despite the imperfections others points out, you managed to make it sound pretty in a way. Why do you need to chase it when it's what you held for a long time?" After that she stopped replying, because it was a one time thought, she didn't know what he'd do next. But she never really found out the reason why he even frequented seeing her more often. She couldn't quite understand why.

Epel was a strong boy, she knew that. Yet, she wishes he would stop trying to change into being someone else that he's not. She reassures him every time, then he goes back persisting. And always gets dragged by Vil in the end. She tries to help, by giving him easy exercises, but that's all she could do. Now she could just give him water, help him hide, etc. Whatever help is available. Not much to say about him, but he reminds her of someone, someone that is willing to stop for a little just for their friend.

Idia is barely seen, but she is friends with him in games, Ortho comes along as well. They're both fun. In their own "Otaku" ways. It was funny how similar the words match Japan's. Or, she thinks? Not really into those cultures but she tries to catch up, he says it's fine since she's a newbie, and also helping her a little. They communicate with each other once in a night. He looks pretty, even if he can't see that. It didn't matter, what matters is that he's alright. She cares for him, for everyone. So, it isn't a surprise that she'd ask questions like if he has eaten yet or finished dinner. She's not sure on what Idia thinks about her, but she'll be fine with the ambiguous thoughts of her friends.

Next was Malleus, or better yet, Tsunotarou. He's a strange fae guy apparently, he and "Fia" barely understand each other, but what they both can relate from is the isolation. How they want the attention, the love their 'parent' never 'gave' them (yes he does Mal you just have a different perspective), but all is swell when you both relate so well. It'd be quite a jumps are if he randomly appears in the middle of the night for company, but she wouldn't mind. He liked talking about the... gargoyles? While she, talks about history, writing, and drawing. She drew a picture for the gargoyle that Tsunotarou mentioned, and he was... delighted? If she could easily read someone, that is. She had brought him ice cream, and he had brought her a tomagachi, she didn't know how to use it at first, but she's got it. Kinda.

Lilia, oh Lilia. Where do I begin? His hair, eyes, fangs, silly smile, carefree laugh, vampiric vibes, his endless amounts of talents, red eyes gleaming in mischief, fun tricks, and sudden jumps cares as pranks? He was amazing, she'd say. But she can't have him. How sad. How much she yearns for these boys, and yet, she's afraid of what will come next. So, she waits and waits. Bonding with others because she feels like she doesn't deserve it, she really doesn't. She hopes she doesn't. Romance is a lost cause for her. Nothing can change that. As much as she'd love to be in a forever with them, she couldn't. Not when she's unable to love without worrying she'll end up ruining it with her sudden lash outs, she can be abusive, she really can. It's just not out yet. Not when she's too comfortable. She doesn't wanna hurt them, especially him. He's beautiful, yet he manages to pull himself back up after many centuries of wandering in this world. She wonders how he'll react when he sees someone associated from her past. But, at the same time, she does not want to burden him. He can shoulder his burden and overcome them with strength, sure. But did it hurt? She can help, only if gifting and sending letters could do anything. She hopes. (And hoping is stupid)

Next is Silver, a beautiful boy. Many girls would fall for him, no doubt. Always a sleeping beauty never prince charming. Haha. But, she admires his strength, his determination to protect, he trains relentlessly and that's no easy feat, along with Sebek. She likes to play with the squirrels while Silver is asleep. She likes reading the books Sebek recommended to her, even if she's not a book worm, she could at least support her friends hobbies. Even thanking him for the book suggestion and saying it was a nice book to read. His face turns red everytime, but maybe it's his first time hearing that. Maybe that's why. Oh, and Silver often invites her to the equestrian club, where she watches the activities they do. It's fun to watch. But she hesitates in participating, not the type to eagerly initiate.

Maybe that's why she dearly lives her friends, even when it borders onto something more than platonic. Not that she'd admit it. It'd be far too humiliating.

Fia Rodriguez perspective

Class ended, and she was finally out. Going out with Ace and Deuce to lunch time she was finally able to take a break !!! Woo hoo !!! She's so energetic, she feels AMAZING !!! Anyway, going to the cafeteria she sees the entire student body gathering, all taming the food. Especially her favorite egg sandwich... when she was her turn in line, she grabbed anything that could fill Grim's stomach. As much as she can carry, so she went to her group's table, while carrying a mountain of food for Grim.

"Whooaa!! You gonna eat that??" Asked a surprised Deuce. "Haha! You're definitely going to gain weight after this!-" "I'm not going to be the one who's eating it, though. It's meant for Grim." "Fgnyha?!?!? For me??? Thanks, henchuman! You're just the best! Nyahahahah!" And the great Grim laughed...

This may be why she takes care of Grim, he reminds her of, her 'child' named Mira. Before, Mira was a 3-year-old girl and she was around 11-12 over at her Nana's house. A somewhat decent babysitter. Not with her methods, though. So Fia made sure to take care of the kids, not all of them, of course. She didn't really care that much until a child named Mira arrived. She was a sweetie. She was soft, cheeky, and just overall adorable and behaving. Mira clung to her the most, going so far as to calling her 'mama' she felt attached. Ever since Mira had to leave that place she felt hollow. So, she created a different version of Mira, "Mira-lee". Her precious miracle. She misses her dearly. Maybe that's why she wanted to take care of Grim, to ease that part of herself. Watching Grim munch happily on the stack of food made her smile, what she didn't noticed was her friends calling out to her. Until Grim noticed as well.

"Ia...?" A murmur from a wolf called out. "Fia!!" Both the duo shouted, at least loud enough for a few students around them to look at their table. But some were already watching their group. "Huh...? Oh, right. Do you need something?" "Dude, you're going to ask us if WE need anything, but you're not eating anything! Are you tryna' starve!?!?" Ace yelled in a whisper. Ah... her food... "I'm sorry, it's just that my favorite had run out and-" "Bonjour, mademoiselle trickster !! I've come to make an offering !!" A certain blondie Bob with horrifying gleaming green eyes said. Offering her... egg sandwich...? Wait, and it's in the same way she likes it- what the!?- ahem, "Y-yes, uhm, uh... thank you, Rook. Are you sure this is safe?" "Non, non! I'd never poison you! You're far too Magnifique !! I'd never dare to lay my hand on you with I'll intent! Dous-" "Okay, okay, thank you." She said, carefully taking the sandwich so it wouldn't fall. Oh, but he wouldn't let it fall now, would he? Oh well, not like she knows about it. She hesitantly but happily takes a bite.

"Fank kyu, Rook(?)" The girl mumbled between her egg sandwich. The mentioned boy smiled, "Oui, it is my pleasure, mon étoile !" The golden-haired boy beamed in joy. She might be a little delusional, is that a pink hue on his cheek? Ah, maybe it's just the new blush they've been trying out, nothing to worry about.

As she finished her sandwich, she felt full. She's never used to eating more than what's served on her plate, even if it's small portions of food.

Until she heard footsteps of somebody. It was Riddle.

"Ahem." Riddle cleared his throat for obvious attention, "Your bow, why isn't it tied? You forgot to ask me, didn't you Fia?" Fia's breath hitched in anxiety. She exhaled shakily, she hated being confronted like that, at least do it for her wordlessly !! In the end, she nods, and mouths out, "Can you please tie this for me...?" She asked hesitantly. Riddle stepped forward and leaned in to tie her bow, fixing her disorderly lace into a nice ribbon. "There, all fixed." Riddle smiled, seemingly pleased with his work. "Thank you, Riddle. You're a nice friend to have..." She said with gratitude and admiration, Riddle gulped and darted his eyes away, looking anywhere but the prefect. "Uh- uhm, yes. No problem.." "Hahhhh... Riddle is REALLY turning into one sappy slime!" Called Ace, with a shit-eating grin. Riddle's face turned red but for a different reason,

"OFF WITH YOUR!-" "Riddle, is it okay if we hang out next tea party?" Fia quickly intervened. Riddle stopped chanting and turned around, "Ah?- ahem!- Very well, then. You shall. Don't think you're getting away, Trappola. I saw that face you were making earlier." Said the fuming goldfish.

Before turning his heels around and leaving. Everyone sighed a relief. It was amazing how she managed to do that. I mean, how did she do that? She can't answer her own questions, so this'll be staying in her head for now.

☆~~———~~☆

Trey is always so helpful whenever she looked like she was 2 seconds away from collapsing, "Need help with that? Here, let me..." And just with that she mutters out a tired thank you, he smiles back with warmth she had never seen before. Not that anyone had smiled so warmly, or if she could remember one at least. They've interacted many times during their time of stress. Trey would find solace in her presence, while he takes the heavy burden of carrying heavy items like full boxes. It was nice keeping in touch with him.

Cater was a social butterfly, but she had always questioned what he liked, what he wanted to be, what he actually is interested in, instead of the forced cutesy and photoshopped smiles. His mask usually tends to crack around her, she noted. Maybe it is a good sign? Ah, but who is she kidding? These guys are going to leave her either way. Or, maybe she'll leave them? But, as long as she's here to let them accept what goes through life, then maybe she'll be let off the hook, right? If she has time.

Ace, Deuce, and Grim are arguing again, about some game one of them lost in. It was funny seeing them like this, she always brought them games to play, and it somehow ended up becoming a big fight between the trio. It was nice, to see friends getting along. It really is, but sometimes she feels left out. Even when she's the one who invited them to play, I guess she's not that competitive. It's boring arguing with a pacifist anyway. So she does what she can do best, staying silent. Oh, but you think she's staying silent the whole time they're arguing? Nope, Ace somehow drags her in the "convo" and never let's her leave out. So, there's that.

Leona always drags her to sleep with him, either that or she just feels tired and decides to join him. They both are sleeping buddies, not into being disturbed in their sleep, Fia is mostly the tired one who can pass out if she stands up too quickly. Leona helps her rest, preventing anyone from disturbing her slumber.

Ruggie and Fia bond a lot. Fia because he reminds her of Ezze. And Ruggie because she gives him donuts. They both are close, Fia thinks Ruggie is adorable, despite the height difference. Ruggie laughs around her a lot. And sometimes even shadows her moves. She enjoys it, oh and she even helps Ruggie with the chores Leona dumps on him. He makes sure she gets to laundry Leona's shirts and jackets and whatnot while he cleans his undergarments. Look, it'll be much more easier for the both of them. She even pays him food after that, how can he say no?

Jack, Epel, and Sebek were quite the trio. One bulky, one feral, another is loud. But, it's okay, she loves them all. It didn't matter to her in the first place. They all cared for her in the end, right? Yes, yep. They do. They really do. She gives Jack water whenever he finishes his laps, giving Epel a handkerchief whenever he finishes exercising during spelldrive club hours, giving Sebek a towel in case he finishes his duel. Fia cared for everyone, even those who don't deserve it. Maybe not all, but some. And they do it back too. Jack giving her favorite snack, Epel giving her apple juice, and Sebek giving her a book with her favorite genre in it.

Azul is quite a busy man, always doing paperwork in his office. With his two tall eels as personal guards, that'll surely make you go missing if you ever break the contract or resist. Yet, whenever Fia comes to visit, he always seems to be in a panic. Making sure everything is sparkling clean. She always enters with food. For Azul, Jade, and Floyd. They all get their favorite food, she thinks they deserve it. In return, she'll be discreetly protected, maybe not in Floyd's case. But protected nonetheless. She had been tired, running herself ragged, and always at the heed of the headmaster's deed. Not always was he active, but she surely is. So Azul always made sure to give her at least, a discount whenever she dines in Monstro Lounge.

The tweels are quite the hassle for her. Their start wasn't a very pleasant one, but it wasn't bad either. Just an unusual counter. But that mended over time after the case of Ashengrotto was closed. They've never seen someone so determined to help Azul see a better light in himself. Which mightve sparked the interest? She's not sure. But maybe it's interest, it couldn't be anything more, right? Still, she gives them love and respect. They're individuals as well, and it wouldn't be polite if she made a rude gesture about them without getting to know them first. So of course, she reaches out with a wary hand.

Kalim and Jamil are two peas with the total opposite in life. One is privileged, the other isn't. But, they both suffer at the hands of fate, don't they? She felt sorry for them, she wanted to help in any way she could. All she could give was her metaphoric heart. She doesn't know if they'll appreciate that, since it's the only thing she's capable of besides obeying. She hopes that in the future, they will be alive and well. Even if hoping is stupid, it'll be fine. She just hopes there's a possible good future for the both of them, even when she's not in it. She cares, she really does. But sometimes she doesn't know if it's enough, when Kalim gives her extravagant gifts, to Jamil making the most delicious delicacies. It made her a bit envious, when she isn't naturally talented with anything, wasn't born in wealth or talent, she just made hobbies to compensate her lack of unique skills. But it's alright, it's fine. It will always, and forever will be fine.

The Pomefiore group is whose she's more scared of. Perfection. That word, is like a curse to her. Perfection, everything needs to be perfect. But how? Why? Is it because it's more aesthetixally pleasing...? Won't she look as pretty? It was never answered, but her tension with Vil had slightly ceased. After an amount of compensation she finally, but slightly, warm up to him. Rook was quite an easy one, she likes the compliments he makes, and maybe even more if she could grab a list and write it all down. Both of them are so pretty, so charming. It's unfair on how unreal these men are. But it's alright. As she told herself before. It'll be fine.

Ignihyde was like her quiet and safe haven. Where she played video games with Idia and Ortho, it was fun. They'd play horror games, Idia would shout, Fia would laugh, and Ortho would lead the way first. They'd play RPG and usually Idia and Fia are in a tie. While Ortho quite literally wins every time. They'd always prepare snacks whenever Fia is around/invited and always leave out her favorite ones just to make it easier for her to find. Idia is really sweet when it comes to his loved ones, cheering Ortho, encouraging him, and overall a proud brother. Ortho felt like he was back again, with his big brother. Ortho tends to tease Idia about something that Fia couldn't quite catch. They also play with someone called MuscleRed. It was a funny username. But she wasn't one to judge. Not at all. Unless she really wants to.

Diasomnia is quite a beautiful place, with its architecture being built beautifully, and made from an ancient style of art. It was a form of art coming to life for her. Its Gothic vibes match with the greens and sage fog in the midst. Dark colors and its only contrasted color was green (unless you are talking abt their dorm crest), Malleus, known as Tsunotarou, was always elated to see his only friend outside his status. She was happy as well, listening to every ramble he made, his rants, and his recent finding which honestly, made her a bit more interested in what he's got going on, while Silver was just lying in her lap, the tea prepared on the table was by him, she thanked him before he fell asleep. Lilia was hanging upside down, cracking up jokes often, which made Fia smile and laugh a little. They'd always prepare snacks for her whenever she visits by. And it is always so lovely to see her friends do things for her when she never asked for it. But it didn't mean it was unwelcomed surprise. Lilia would always greet her whenever she enters the Diasomnia lounge, Tsunotarou waiting by the couch, playing with his Gao-gao, and Silver already had placed her favorite tea ok the table. They'd all chat, before Silver falls asleep and Sebek arrives to the dorm with a booming voice, only to see Fia had brought books to read with him.

Yes, all her friends, so precious. Despite the fact they've once harmed her, they wouldn't dream about doing it again.

☆~~———~~☆

Apparently, after school time, everyone had left in a hurry to their dorms. Whether to play games, sleep, or do any of their activities in their dorm. And Fia? She was EXHAUSTED. So many things to do on her own. Which is incredibly frustrating to her, but something always lingered at the back of her head...

Ty... a name she is eerily familiar with before...

She didn't like the fact there's a guy similar to that name. She didn't like the fact it had to be similar. Giving her so many possibilities on who it could be.

Until she was called in the headmaster's office. Yes, she was called there to show the new student around the school. No, she's not expecting payment from this, but in the end, she's been receiving a decent amount of it, and that's all that matters.

☆~~———~~☆

No.

Absolutely not.

Why?

No this isn't fair. Why?

No please, not again. Why is he here? No- no- don't do this to her. She's sorry if she ever made the universe mad at her, she's sorry for being weak, please don't do this to her... she's begging anything. Let her rest why is Tyron here? No she's sorry. She's sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

She'll never escape this guy, not when he smiles at her, as they've met once again.

"It's nice to meet you, 'Fia'" The man grins.

To be continued...

A/n: tbh I did this for fun idk why I wrote this butt this is just a cliffhanger, it depends if I wanna do another part or nah.

Feel free to ask questions about this fic !!!

[howtoexloveback]

How You can Get your Ex back

In this fast-growing world, every person has to countenance various problems and he wants to get rid of these problems from his life. There are many issues in life such as marriage-related problems, love-related problems, career problems, job and business problems, and divorce-related problems. If you are facing any difficulty linked to love and marriage and desire to get rid of these struggles…

[ljnsdump]

Everything in Time (Lee Jeno x F!reader)

Jeno x Female reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.

Genre: M/F, best friends to lovers, fluff, smut, tiny angst, late 20s established career setting

Warnings: Smut hehe, light edging, daddy kink and everything but no borderline mean and abusive tings, heart break

Word Count: 4,573

This is my nth story, excited for you to read this just because! I loooooove Jeno and I was really excited when I started writing this in my notepad. Hope you enjoy reding it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Read at your own risk!

------

Jeno had just ended a relationship. It was bad, well not so much for him but for his ex. He loved her so much and they've been together for 2 years but Jeno just can't see his future with her. And by future meaning making a family with her, growing old together.

He's overworked himself for this exact reason. He just wants to forget the fact that the pressure of having a family of his own is eating him alive. Jeno spent his nights finishing his papers in his company building. It would just be him who'll be left and the security guards, not even his own assistant. He's constantly being reminded that he's almost 30 now and he's still in young, playful relationships.

That's the time his best friends came in. Jaemin and Y/N.

Jaemin is a surgeon in the making, he's just finishing up his internship as of the moment. He contacted Y/N who was outside the country because he knew that Jeno just needed to relieve his stress.

The three have been best friends ever since grade school up until now and they're the strongest trio everyone has ever seen. At some point in high school the three tied in top 1, their teachers had to verify it again and again to make sure.

"I'm gonna be arriving at around 2 PM on Friday. I have no one to pick me up, can you?" She asks Jaemin on the phone.

He frowns. "That's unfortunately within my shift. I'll just tell Jeno to pick you up. He should be available, he's the only one forcing himself with those schedules trying to be busy."

"Alright. I'll try to call him too."

Y/N packed two large suitcases for this two-day weekend vacation. They rented a small island that has a villa, and of course an amazing beach.

While she's boarding the plane, she calls up Jeno. Oh, and they didn't tell him yet about this vacation nor about her going back home.

He picks up after three rings. "Jeno-ya." She calls him.

"Hmm?"

"I need you to pick me up at the airport at 2 PM. I'm already boarding right now."

Jeno stops everything he's doing. "You're coming here?"

"Yeah, me and Jaem planned a weekend getaway for us. I don't want you to decline because I rarely go home."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've helped out with the preparations. You know how busy and stressful Jaemin's work can be."

She just loves how her friends are concerned with each other and they always offer each other help without hesitations. "Well, this is somewhat of a surprise for you, you've been MIA and now you're heartbroken. And also a break for Jaemin, you know his work and his fiancee can be bitches sometimes. Don't tell him that I told you that."

Jeno just laughs. "Alright, I'll pick you up. See you soon."

"Thanks, bye."

As soon as the plane lands, she can't contain her excitement. She immediately restarts her phone to refresh the service then texts Jeno.

To: The Unfunny Lee

Plane just landed, can't wait to see you!

She chuckles as she reads the name she saved for his contact number. They used to tease Jeno as the unfunny one before because he gets sulky and pouty right away.

From: The Unfunny Lee

I'm already here waiting for you. See you soon.

And did she ever mention that she's always had the attraction towards him. Jeno always made her feel like a woman. The way he smiles, the lingering stares, the way he talks, it's just different. He's so soft and could never resist her. That's why the attraction just builds up.

Soon enough she got out of the plane and already got her stuff done, she pushes the big baggage cart as she tries to look for Jeno.

She sees her phone ring and Jeno's face pops up on the screen. "Jeno-ya."

"You look smaller than the cart you're pushing." He teases and she immediately turns around to look for him.

"Where are you?" Y/N sees a familiar tall guy wearing black jeans and white pullover walking towards her with his phone on his ear. "Oh, there. Found you." She said and hung up the phone before running to give him a hug. She definitely feels his hard chest and strong arms wrapping around her.

He pats her and says, "Welcome back, shorty. You've grown but not the height." Laughing and pinching her cheek. "How are you? You haven't contacted me for so long." He goes to push her cart for her going out.

"Well, I'm doing good. Business is also good. I kinda distanced myself from you guys because I know you had girlfriends and we wouldn't want them to misunderstand, right?"

Jeno admiringly glances at her. She's always been so considerate and respectful. "Right. But how about you? Relationships?"

She snorts. "I could only wish."

"Why not?"

"They're not for me."

Jeno offered his place for her which she gladly accepted. She hasn't booked any hotel yet actually just because she was lowkey hoping that Jeno would just let her crash for a night before they depart early in the morning.

At night, Jeno, Jaemin, Y.N and Winter, Jaemin's fiance, just decided to meet up at Jeno's place. They ordered a lot of take-outs and bought a couple bottles of beer.

Y/N walks around Jeno's house while waiting for the two. It's just him and a security guard on the compound actually and it's pretty big. She stops by the pool, watching the reflection of the stars on the water.

"How's my place so far?" Jeno asks.

She nods. "Pretty cool. Can't believe it's just you living in a house this big."

"Well, it makes me feel good, you know. It makes me feel that I've succeeded and I can get whatever I want, well most of them."

"Why not all?"

He sighs and stares at her a little longer before saying, "Some are just too hard to reach."

She pretends like she didn't just feel hopeful for a second that she's who he's pertaining to. Jeno just received a text from Jaemin saying they're there already.

"They're here." He says.

"Let's go." They walk together back to the dining area. "You okay? I heard a lot, you know." She asks.

He just crosses his arms and shrugs. "I'm okay."

"I hope you know that it's okay to still be confused and unsure at this age we are in right now. There's really no need to rush, Jeno."

"I wish I could say that to my parents."

"I'll say that to your parents if you can't."

And she's always been strong-minded, and firm. She always knows what she's doing.

When they see Jaemin and Winter in the kitchen preparing the food they bought, Y/N runs to them and gives both a hug. "Hi! OMG, I'm finally seeing you both!"

Jaemin hugs her back. "How was the flight?"

"Tiring. I can't wait to pass out."

"Then just stay here for good so you don't have to fly back and forth."

Her lips purse as her eyes squints in doubt. "There's a lot to consider, not to mention the amount of work. But I've been thinking of it."

"Jeno-ya, talk to her about it. You're the one who knows more about business than me."

Jeno just sits on the table before them. "If she wants to stay, she'll stay."

She turns to him with a knowing smile. "You want me to stay?" But he just shrugs.

"When is this thick cloud of sexual tension between you two ever gonna end?" Jaemin shakes his head.

The night got deeper and it was time to go for Jaemin and Winter. They watched the two get in their car before they head in.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Jeno asks invitingly.

Y/N smiles and looks up to him. "With wine and chocolates?"

"Hell, yeah."

While Y/N picks the movie, Jeno goes to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses then he gathers different kinds of chocolates on a board and brings all of them to the center table in the living room.

She runs to her room and grabs her blanket then goes back to the couch with Jeno. She puts it over both of them and leans to him as the movie starts.

"Thought you were tired?" He asks with a low voice.

"I am." She replies. "I'm probably gonna sleep before the movie ends."

Just a few minutes in, silence filled the room. But it's a tense silence, it's like they're just waiting for each other to say something.

Jeno sighs. "Are you not gonna tell me why you stopped contacting me?"

"You know me, Jeno. I distanced myself from you and Jaem because you guys were already in your own relationships. I just don't want your girlfriends to misunderstand." She explains.

"Why would you lie?"

She turns to him. "What do you mean?"

"You never stopped your contact with Jaemin. I asked multiple times."

Busted. She knows she's busted. "Okay, fine. I stopped contacting you like 4 years ago? That was when you started that casual relationship you had even before Lia." She pauses trying to remember the name. "That girl, was that Karina? Because I knew you'd never see me like how you see her or any other girls in your life. I was so into you and you were too dumb and oblivious to notice. Maybe you were blinded by her or whatever but it doesn't matter anymore. I don't feel that way for you anymore." Her voice shakes at her last statement. That's a lie.

His jaw clenches. "Why didn't you tell me? Everyone fucking knew that I had a thing for you. I was just waiting for you to tell me that you wanted me too."

"I-- I thought that was a joke! You never made it clear, you always smiled or laughed whenever someone mentions it, how am I supposed to know?! You were always flirty with everyone."

"It was true. I was only into you and I only started seeing Karina when you stopped replying or answering my calls."

Her breathing is ragged. She doesn't know what to do, and she's very upset. Why didn't he tell her before? "Whatever."

"Can you feel that it's still you though?" He asks all of a sudden.

But Y/N shakes her head. "It's not that simple anymore, Jeno. I've got someone waiting for my answer in Chicago, I agreed for this vacation because I needed space. I needed time to think."

Jeno couldn't get past the part where she said she has someone waiting for her answer in Chicago. Is he too late? "Y--You have a boyfriend?"

Y/N sighs. "Let's stop talking about this."

They stopped talking but Jeno can't stop thinking about it. He suddenly got so nervous, what if her boyfriend is already proposing to her? What if she says yes? He always thought that his endgame would be her because he honestly can't imagine life with a family without her. Jeno fills his glass with wine and drinks all of it at once.

She slept in his arms, and he just watched her unsure of what to do. He was not able to focus on the movie, all he thought about was her and the missed opportunities. He could've had her without a doubt. He could've.

"Fuck my life." He murmured before picking her up bridal style to bring her to her room. He didn't want to close the door but he had to.

Y/N wears a pair of denim shorts and her dark blue bikini top while Jeno wears white muscle tanks and board shorts. A van comes to pick them up early in the morning, Jaemin is already there.

"Hi!" Y/N greets him excitedly when she enters the vehicle and he fist bumps with Jeno.

They had to travel for 2 hours going to the dock because they had to stop to get groceries and it just felt like minutes because they were just talking and jamming the whole time.

Jeno set his feelings aside because he knew the two set this up for him.

They then ride a speedboat going to the island and it just took them like 10 minutes to get there. Their guide did his job, walking them around, guiding and telling them about some things and guidelines about the island that they have to know.

It's a good thing that they did their shopping because it's literally just them on the island but of course, they can still call if they need something.

"Hey!" Y/N calls the two from the beach. "Let's swim! The water is so pretty! I wanna cry! Ahhh! Ya! Na Jaemin! Lee Jeno!"

The two were arranging their things inside the villa but just laughed, so done while looking at each other when they heard her yell. When they came out, she's already climbing the rocks because there's a big slide on it going to the waters.

"Hey, be careful." Jeno calls out to her.

"Don't worry." She yells at him. Then sat on the edge of the slide, sliding her way down, screaming and waving her hands up high. She splashed on the waters and she's never felt so alive. "Oh my god, what are you two doing, just standing there?!"

Jaemin runs to the waters right away while Jeno took off his shirt first, exposing his let me just say fucking gorgeous, unbelievably hot body that made Y/N look away and blush. But of course they didn't notice.

They just float on their backs for several minutes as they talk and watch the clear skies.

"Can we buy this island so that we can just come here whenever we want?" Y/N jokes.

The sun is setting, they're also preparing for their outdoor barbeque. Y/N is inside, preparing the meats, Jaemin is preparing the fire while Jeno is digging the sand to form a round table and seats for them.

Jeno eventually goes into the kitchen where Y/N is. "You good?"

"Yeah, can you put iced water on the cooler then add the bottle of beer so it'll cool?"

"We have ice?"

"There's a big freezer at the back, they have a lot here."

When Jeno came back he was in a hurry. "Y/N! Y/n, the sky outside is really beautiful because of the sunset, wanna see?"

"Yeah." She immediately washes her hands on the sink before wiping it on her apron. "Lemme grab my phone and camera first."

"Jaemin-ah! We're going to the other side to watch the sunset! Let's go!" Jeno yells at his other friend.

"Yup, coming!"

Y/N sets up her tripod and they take a couple of shots together. "Let's stay for a few minutes." She sits on the sand and the two follow.

"We don't see this everyday." Jaemin says.

"We could." Jeno rebels. "But we're too busy."

Night came, they're a little tipsy, cheeks flushed and they're laughing their asses off as they eat and cook at the same time because of Jaemin's antics.

"We've always been a trio." He says. "Jeno plays the guitar, you sing, and I dance."

"A trio with different talents."

"Yeah, so while you both are doing your things, I just dance beside you. Even interpretative dance if needed." He flares his hands out mimicking a ballerina.

"Remember when we signed up for the homecoming party committee just so we can get free food?" Jeno looks back, laughing. "Y/N ate a lot."

Y/N slaps his bare arm. "Ya! It's not like you didn't. It's not my fault they had so much food."

"And during graduation practice, do you remember? Y/N fell--" Jaemin couldn't continue what he's saying because Y/N tackles him.

"Shut up!" Trying to cover his mouth. "Don't talk about that."

"You rolled down the stairs." Jeno continues while laughing. "Good thing it was just us."

"We just finished lunch and they kept texting us saying the practice had already started. We were in a hurry!" She tries to defend herself.

"It was so funny but we didn't have time to laugh enough."

Later on, Jeno's playing the guitar and they're singing to old songs that they used to play together. He looks at her fondly as she tries to reach the high note and does it flawlessly.

"You've gotten so good." He says and she just smiles in response.

It's past midnight, Jeno and Y/N are cleaning up because Jaemin passed out. His alcohol tolerance really decreased after a long time since he hasn't drank a lot.

"Jeno-ya." Y/N calls Jeno from outside.

He goes out to her. "Hmm?"

"How about Jaemin?"

"I'll help him through the stairs later." He reassures her. "How about you, are you good?"

"Yup, pretty good. Happy. Sleepy."

"Don't forget to change, brush your teeth, wash off the sea water."

She nods. "Yeah, I'll do that right now."

When she was done in the bathroom, she went upstairs to their shared bedroom. It's a big room with a big customized bed for an entire family, it can fit up to 6 people. Jaemin is already sleeping on it while Jeno is on his phone, waiting for her to finish so he could use the bathroom too.

"I'm done, Jen."

He looks up cutely like a puppy, obviously looks sleepy already. He goes downstairs with his things. Later on, when he comes back, Y/N and Jaemin are on each side of the bed which means he has to be in the center. He crawls in slowly, Y/N turns to look at him.

"I thought you were sleeping already." He whisper-yells.

She whispers back to him, "You look like a puppy."

"What does that mean?"

"You look cute." She notices that he's so far from her. Not that she minds, the bed is big so they get to sleep however they want but he's really far. "Why are you so far away? Wouldn't Winter be jealous to see you too close to Jaemin?" She jokes.

He just shrugs. "If we're close together, I may not stop myself from cuddling with you."

"I wanna cuddle with you though." She pouts.

"Stop that." He says authoritatively.

She whines, "Why?"

"You said you have a boyfriend."

Her eyebrows furrow. "I never said that."

"Yesterday, you said you have someone in Chicago waiting for your answer."

Y/N laughs. "Idiot. He's just a casual partner, just like how you and Karina were." Indirectly explaining that they're fuckbuddies. "He said he's developing feelings for me, I can't reciprocate that."

And suddenly his chest loosens up. He was able to breathe a little better now. "Casual partners? For how long?"

"Two years. I have needs too, Jeno Lee."

"Well, you made it sound like he's proposing to you so that's why I thought about it."

"Stop talking and just cuddle with me." His warmth hovers over her and she smiled when she felt his arm scoop her close to him. "You've been waiting for this, haven't you?" She mumbles and she snuggles as well.

Jeno buries his head on her neck. "Since fucking high school."

"Stop lying."

But he tickles her tummy lightly making her giggle and squirm. Jaemin who was sleeping mumbles, "Can you two fuck somewhere else? I want to sleep."

"Ya! We're just talking!" Y/N immediately defends.

"He's asleep, he doesn't know what he's saying." Jeno whispers, holding her down. "Sleep, Aya."

Her eyes beamed. He's never called her that ever since she left for Chicago. She turns around to see him with excitement on her face. "You're calling me Aya again." She mentions.

Jeno looks down at her sparkling eyes, holding the urge to kiss her forehead. "You've always been my ligaya."

"You keep saying those things but you actually had other girls before me."

"Remember during college, I don't ever allow you to enter my room."

"Yes, because you hid your drugs there?" She grumpily whines but he just smiled.

"I never wanted you in my room because when I saw you once sitting on the edge of my bed like an innocent girl, I almost couldn't stop myself." He groaned in her ear that gave her goosebumps. "Seeing you in my bed, fuck I'd die for that."

She nibbles on her lip as her eyes widen. "I'll sleep." Then she turns her back on him, now feeling his hard on against her ass.

"Yeah."

Jaemin was the one to wake up first, he sees the two spooning and quickly snaps a pic and sends it to their own group chat before he leaves the room and goes to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Jeno was the first one to wake up, he just let his arm drape around her, hugging her like a pillow. And just minutes later, she wakes up too.

"Do you like that guy from Chicago?" He asks half-asleep.

Y/N rubs her eyes and looks at him with squinted eyes to make sure he's not sleep talking only to find out that the man beside her is topless.

Then sighs. "I can't. I could never imagine myself being his girlfriend, but I am just scared to reject him. We've been in that kind of casual, non-committal relationship for a long time and he's always there when I need him."

"Good."

She chuckles. "Why?"

"You said you have needs, right?" He whispers. "I'm pretty sure I can satisfy you better than anyone else."

"You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?" Jeno didn't say anything. He just stood up and went to lock the door. "I was just kidding." She laughs and stands up immediately but he grabs her before she could run away.

He held her with both her arms tightly, planting feathery kisses on her jaw. "You smell so good, baby." Then his kisses go down to her neck and she just wants to melt into a puddle.

She just loves how his warmth wraps around her. "Jaemin might come."

"You'll tell him." Jeno picks her up and traps her against the wall as their lips crash with each other, turning and twisting their tongues together. His kisses then left her mouth, to her cheeks, then to her ear. "I'm gonna satisfy the fuck out of your needs, baby." She feels the smirk on his face that gives her chills.

Then he brings her to the bed. She takes off her top revealing her perked up mounds. Y/N looks up to him, batting her eyelashes like an innocent girl and it drives him crazy. His neck is all red, he's so ready to ruin her but just holding himself back. She slowly removes her pajama shorts and cotton thongs as well. Y/N lays back with her arms supporting her weight while not breaking their eye contact. "All yours, Lee."

He could've sworn his cock throbbed after hearing that. Jeno's jaw twitched a little as he ran his fingers through his locks. "Good." He replies then grabs her ankle pushing her to turn and now she's on her back, ass up. Jeno is getting the best view of her ass and glistening pussy. His hand caresses her inner thigh for a few seconds before redirecting his fingers to her very wet core making her squirm and whimper in pleasure.

Rubbing circles, now she's helpless. He feels how needy she is because he hasn't even done anything aside from rubbing her and now she's looking so fucked out and a moaning mess for him, rubbing herself against his fingers too. "I-- I need y--your fingers. Please. Jeno. Please." He can't help but lick his bottom lip, he just wants to devour her right now, he wants to own her, he wants to be in her, he wants to feel her, he wants to be the only one who can make her feel this way.

"As you wish, love." He inserts two fingers, pumping it fast in her and she's moaning uncontrollably. "Shh. Jaemin might hear." Y/N tries to bite her bottom lip to suppress the moans. She pulls her own hair and massages her tits.

Jaemin goes up the stairs, trying the door knob a couple of times but it's locked. "Jeno-ya, Y/N, breakfast is ready."

"Answer him." He growls on to her ears without stopping his fingers from fucking her. Y/N's eyes widen, Jaemin will know for sure. But he stops. "I said, answer him."

"Jae--" His cock suddenly slips into her, making her moan and Jaemin definitely heard it. "Jaem, I-- we-- you can eat ahead!" Then she dunks her face on to the soft pillows biting them hard.  "Jeno, please." Consecutive moans came out from her lips and that was Jaemin's cue to leave.

"You're so fucking warm, Aya." He pulls her hair hard, making her lookup as he pounds hard into her. "No one will ever satisfy you the way that I do. Not even your Chicago boy."

It was too much for her, he was relentless and powerful. All the sexual frustrations that were pent up for years are finally revealed. And he's literally tearing her in half with his size.

"I've been imagining this day, me drilling into your dripping pussy and it's even better than what I have imagined."

She couldn't respond or say anything, she likes how he's fucking her dumb.

"Jen, cumming. I'm cumming." She pants, grasping into the sheets tighter while he rubs her clit with his free hand.

"Not until I cum. Fuck--- Aya, you're so fucking gorgeous."

"Please. Please. Please. Fill me up, daddy. I need you to fill me up." It's like Jeno got possessed with some kind of devil, he's pounding into her harder than before like she pushed a button.

"I'm gonna fuck you full of my cum. Let go, babygirl." Strings of white liquid spurts out from his tip in her as her orgasm also washes through her. And when he pulled out, white liquid came flowing out of her pussy. "Next time I'm buying you a plug."

Y/N drops to the bed, tired and weak. Her cheeks are flushed, sweating and breathless, just like how Jeno imagined and it gave him an assurance that he definitely fucked her real good.

Jeno plops on the bed beside her, she smiles weakly at him, covering her body with the sheets. They stay looking at each other's eyes.

"Stay." He mumbles. "I want you to stay. I don't want to keep missing you." She feels her heart inflating and her stomach being filled with butterflies. The fact that he's being vocal about this right now and not just staying quiet like how he usually is when it comes to his feelings. "But if you don't want t--"

"I'll do everything I can so I can stay." She cuts him off. "You're gonna be mine this time." She promises.

Jeno smiles and pulls himself close to her then plants a kiss on her forehead. "I'm all yours, Aya. You know how obsessed I am with you, I'm going nowhere without you."

"Jaemin is never talking to us again."

"He'll just need a night with Winter."

[andie01writing]

Ex to See

“You really need to get over me, Kassidy.”

Turning from comparing the two jars of pasta sauce in my hand to find my ex.  “What are you talking about exactly?”

  “You’re in here daily.  Stalking me and Jessie.”

  “Are you serious,” I laugh.  “It’s a grocery store.  The closest one to my house.  I do eat.  I require food.  The fact that you and your latest girlfriend work here is just an unfortunate fact,” I roll my eyes, turning back to the shelves.

  “Right,” he snorts.

  “Sorry to bruise your ego but I have moved on quite a few times in the years since you.  Much like yourself.  The only difference is I waited until I ended the relationship before I moved on.”

  “Is that why every time I drive by your place, you’re home alone.”

  “You’re the one who needs to get over our breakup it seems.”

  “Keep telling yourself that.”

  “Is there a problem here?”

  “No sir.”

  “Just a misunderstanding,” I smile, tossing a jar into my cart.

X

                My phone dinging pulls me from my thoughts.  I smile at the name, unlocking the device.

  Miss you, the text reads.

  I deserve a vacation Bo, I reply.

  You do.  But I can still miss you.

  What about the two years you disappeared on me?

  I was injured and let go.

  You obviously have my number.

  You have me there.  How are doing?

  Healing.  It’s minor.  I’ll be back soon.”

  Gonna be in town next week.

  Coming by?

  Hoped to.

  I’ll get your favorite beer.

  Or we can go to your favorite bar.

  Or both.

  I like the way you think.  LOL.  See you Friday?”

I send a thumbs up emoji before setting the phone on the table, my mood suddenly lighter.  I don’t know why the thought of Bo coming by makes me so giddy.  We usually spent one night a month together talking over drinks before letting the man escort me back to my hotel room before he disappeared from the road.  He had spent a night or two sleeping on his couch when we were in town and I had even shared his bed the one night I stayed in his hometown.  When he returned to the road a few months ago we restarted our routine.

  “Until I almost broke my damn neck,” I sigh to no one.  The doctor stated if it was a centimeter in a different direction and it would have been disastrous.  “No one needs to know that part though.  It didn’t happen so it’s not worth thinking about.”

X

                I glance at the road as I pull grocery bags from the back of my SUV.  “You watching for him is not going to make him show up faster, Kass.”  Shaking my head, I carry the bags into the kitchen, depositing them onto the table before returning to the SUV.

  “Kassidy.”

  “How did I not hear that shitty truck pulling up,” I mutter before turning to my ex.  “What do you want?”

  “To give you what you want,” he grins.

  “If that were true, you would disappear from my life.”

  “You know we were good.”

  “I was great.  You were meh but I kept you around because I foolishly thought I was in love.”

  “Come on Kassie.”

  “Don’t call me Kassie,” I grumble.  “And what’s wrong?  Did your latest thing find out about your true nature?  You can go home and give your hand a STD because you’re not getting anywhere need me,” I turn back to my vehicle.

  “Kass…”

  “Get off my property.”

  “She said leave,” Bo’s voice growls from the rear of the house.

  “Apparently I am just oblivious to everyone on my property,” I think.

  “Who the hell are you?”

  “The only one here that was invited,” I answer as a hand grips my hip.  “Hey Bo.  Why did you come through the back?”

  “Hey Kass.  Shitty truck blocking the front driveway.  Need help?”

  “Not with this,” I smile, turning to awkwardly hug my friend despite my hands being full of beer.  “That,” I chin jerk, “maybe.”

  “Who is that,” he smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes that bore into the other man.

  “Remember the bad mood I had the night we met?  Meet the bad mood.”

  “I’ll take care of it.  Get those into the fridge.”

Bo’s mood is sour when he joins me in the house.

  “He has that effect on people,” I mutter, leaning against the counter.

  “What…What did you…”

  “Young and dumb is the only excuse I can say.”

  “I don’t believe you were ever that dumb,” a smile tugs at his lips.

  “Complete idiot,” I smirk.  “So what are you feeling tonight?  Beer and Netflix on the couch?  Going out to the bar?”

  “Hmmm,” he hums.  “I think I need to take you out.”

  “You do, do you?  And what brings you to that conclusion?”

  “You haven’t been out of this house since you got hurt.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know you.”

  “I hate it when I can’t argue with you,” I scrunch my nose at him.

  “Go get ready,” he mimics me.

  “Bossy,” I smirk, moving around him.

  “Wear something cute.  Not the usual when we go out.”

  “Definitely bossy tonight.”

X

                “Does this meet your qualifications,” I start, exiting my bedroom stopping mid-step at the sight in my living room.

Bo stands shirtless winding his long air into a tight bun, the muscles in his back flexing with each movement.  My eyes roam his skin hungrily.  The thought of staying home and doing other things with my friend.  “Fuck I need to get laid or I’m going to do something stupid again.”  Shaking the thoughts from my head as he turns to face me, his eyes widening.  “Bo?  Too much,” I ask, twirling and allowing the skirt of my halter dress  to billow slightly.

Clearing his throat, “No.  You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” I smile as he pulls his shirt on.  “Not too bad yourself.”

  “Thanks,” he smirks working the buttons of his shirt quickly.  “I try.  Let’s go.  We’re taking your car.  I’m driving.”

  “Very specific.”

  “If the asshole wants stalk you and your place then he’s going to see my car not yours tonight.”

  “Who says he’s stalking me?”

  “He did.”

  “What?”

  “He says he knew I was a new lay.  Because he drives by your place daily.

   “And the bastard had the nerve to accuse me of stalking,” I mutter.  “Good thing I change the locks after our breakup.”

  “I knew you were smart.”

  “What happened…other than the obvious of being an asshole?”

  “He asked for some space to figure some stuff out.  So I gave it to him,” I shrug.  “We checked in weekly with each other but otherwise I gave him the space.  Found out he was sleeping around…in my house.”

  “Fuck,” he growls, hands tightening around the steering wheel.

  “Did you just curse, Mr. Dallas?”

  “Yes, I fucking did.”

  “Alrighty then,” I chuckle.  “I kicked him out.  Changed the locks.  Basically erased him from my life.  He pops up from time to time to annoy me.  I guess you’re the first of my ‘lays’ to confront him,” I smirk, patting his hand on the gear shift.

X

                “Do you trust me,” Bo whispers against my ear as I stand waiting for the bartender.

  “You know I do,” I turn to look over my shoulder at him.  “What’s up?”

  “Asshole walked in,” he states, fingers tracing along my spine.  His dark eyes watching me for any reaction.  “Want to give him a show?”

  “What do you have in mind?”

He chuckles, nuzzling against the back of my neck as the bartender pulls my attention forward again.

  “He wants to think we’re together, let him see how happy you are without him.”

  “And how do we do that,” I ask, as he reaches around me to take our drinks.

  “Trust me,” he winks, downing his drink before taking my hand.

I repeat his action with my own drink before allowing him to pull me through the bar to the small dance floor in front of the live band.  His arms wrap around my waist as the band starts a slow ballad.  I drape my arms over his shoulders, my fingers playing with the ends of his hair coming loose from his bun as we sway.  He hums pulling me closer and I change my stance, wrapping my arms under his and snuggling against his chest.

  “Nice cologne,” I mutter absently.

  “Thanks,” he chuckles, his fingers dance up and down my spine as he holds me tight.

  “How do you know I love my back rubbed like that?”

  “I pay attention.  How do you know I like my hair played with?”

  “I always play with your hair,” I smirk, peeking up at him.  “I don’t even think about it.”

I feel him hum rather than hear him.

                “You do, you know,” I smile after three songs on the dance floor.

  “I do what,” he grins, helping me onto a barstool before seating himself beside me.  Caging my legs between his as he pulls me closer to him.”

  “You said to show him how happy I am.  You make me happy.”

A smirk tugs at his lips but the happiness doesn’t quite make it to his eyes.

  “I didn’t ask, is there a reason for this visit or just my general loveliness?”

  “I can’t miss you?”

  “You can.  But there seems to be something on your mind on and off tonight.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Didn’t say you weren’t,” I take a sip of my drink.  “But you’re not fully yourself either.”

  “Like?”

  “You let asshole get under your skin tonight.  You got mad in the car.  I don’t think I have ever seen you like that in the years I’ve known you.  A couple of times your smile hasn’t reached your eyes also.  You don’t have to talk about it,” I state, squeezing his knee.  “Just thought you might have came to talk.”

He stares at his drink, spinning the glass in his fingertips.  “Just lonely,” he finally states softly.

  “Know the feeling.”

  “Figured we could be lonely together.”

  “Never lonely with you around, Bo.”

He snorts.

  “There’s that smile that doesn’t reach your eyes.”

  “You are…You are where I don’t have to act.  I can let everything down and just be.”

  “I think that is a compliment.”

  “It is.” This smile is genuine.

Reaching out, I release his hair from the bun.  Finger combing the few tangles, I watch his eyes close.  “You’re not alone, Bo.”  Curling my fingers, I lightly scratch along his scalp, and Bo practically purrs, leaning back into my hand.

  “Thank you,” he murmurs.

  “Always,” I smile, carefully removing my hand from his hair.  “Want me to put it back up.  I’m sure it’s cooler for you.  It’s so gorgeous down though.”

  “It is not.”

  “You know you have gorgeous hair,” I smirk, standing to move behind him.

  “Leave it down,” he sighs, grabbing me around the waist.  “Please.”

  “It’s your hair.  The only thing you have to ask me for is to leave it alone.”

  “Don’t do that either,” he smiles, pulling me closer.  “It’s still early, we could hit the dance floor again.  Or I can take you home to curl up on the couch,” he sighs as my hands hesitantly rest on his chest.

I try to ignore the heat seeping in my body from his, as I fight against the urge to run my hands over his chest.  “What the hell is wrong with me tonight?  This is your friend, not some random guy to lust over.  It’s fucking Bo, you want to fuck up your only true friendship?”

  “Kass?”

Clearing my throat, I meet his eyes.  “Sorry.”

  “Do I wanna know where you just went?”

I shake my head, moving my hands to his shoulders to remove the temptation.

  “Hey,” he sighs.  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.  Yeah.  I know, I’m being weird.  Sorry I don’t know what’s going on with me right now.”

  “You haven’t drank that much tonight,” he grins.

  “Yeah,” I laugh, moving to play with the ends of his hair nervously.  “Must be my natural weirdness.”

  “Kassidy…”

  “I’m fine, I promise.”

His dark eyes search my face.

  “What are you feeling like,” I ask, returning to his original question.

  “That wasn’t what I asked.  I asked what you wanted.”  His hands return to my back and I shiver.

  “I don’t know what I want,” I answer truthfully.

  “Now who’s not acting themselves,” he grins, his eyes darting over my shoulder before back to mine.

  “Yeah,” I chuckle before gasping as he pulls me even closer.

  “How much do you trust me?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “Tell me to stop if you want me to,” he breathes leaning in.

  “Stop wha…”

  “Shhhhh,” he mumbles, nosing along mine.  “Only word you need to say is stop.”

  “Ok,” I breathe seconds before his lips ghost over mine.

He pulls back to glance into my eyes before diving back.  The kiss has my knees weakening and my hands tightening around his shoulders. 

When he pulls back a second time, I pull him back to me.  “Don’t stop,” I breathe, leaning into him further.  “Why didn’t you tell me you were such a good kisser?”

He shrugs and I’m suddenly aware of his hands at the exposed small of my back, rubbing light circles, warmth spreading downward.

  “Want to head out of here?”

There is the sound of glass breaking behind me.

  “Don’t look,” Bo whispers, pressing his forehead to mine, a smirk tugging at his lips.  “It’s just the asshole.”

  “Oh,” I breathe, reality hitting me square in the chest as I remember why he’s doing this.  Clearing my throat, I meet his eyes.  “Let’s head home.”

X

                The ride back to my house is quiet as I stare out the window and try to shove the empty feeling that is sitting in the center of my chest painfully away.

  “Kass?”

I blink away unneeded tears before turning to my friend.

  “Did I…I’m so sorry Kass.  I overstepped.”

  “No.  I told you not to stop.”

  “I shouldn’t have started,” he sighs as we pull into the driveway.

  “It’s fine,” I mumble.

  “Then why are you crying?  And don’t lie because I have already seen you.  Do you still want me here?”

  “Of course, Bo.”

  “Then tell me.  Please.”

  “Maybe it reminded me of how alone I’m going to be again when you leave.  Maybe it reminded me of just how alone I'm going to be period.  Alone at home.  Alone on the road.  No matter how many people are around.  I’ll always be alone.  Fleeting moments with you but ultimately alone.  And maybe I forgot what we were doing tonight.  Maybe for a second I forgot it wasn’t real.  Stupid huh?  I think I’m just going to head to bed.  You know where all the blankets and such for the couch right?”

He nods, not looking at me.

  “Goodnight then.”

                “Kass can we talk?”

I glance over my shoulder at Bo standing in the doorway between my bedroom and balcony.  “Sure,” I shrug.

He sits in the second chair beside me, his eyes studying his hands.

  “You don’t have to be alone, Kass.”

  “Yeah, I know.  I just gotta open myself up to other people.  Let them in.  Yadda, yadda, and all that other stuff every guy has spat at me when I become too much.  I’m a cold bitch.  I’m aware.  You don’t have to come out here to remind me.”

  “No!  I mean yes, a good relationship requires openness.  I don’t think you’re cold though, just guarded.  I would never call you cold.”

  “Thanks for that.”

  “I meant that you don’t have to feel alone.  You have me.”

  “Until some great woman comes along and you are no longer accessible to me,” I smile sadly.  “You deserve it so I know it will eventually happen.”

  “And you don’t think you deserve a good guy?”

  “I think that I don’t know how to be someone who good guys want to stick around for.”

  “I do.”

  “You know what I mean,” I grumble, standing.

  “Yeah, I do,” he follows me to his feet.

  “Then don’t do this right now.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t…Just don’t,” I move towards my room.

  “I can’t not do something if I don’t know what it is,” he follows, grabbing my wrist.

  “But you do know.”

  “Don’t tell you that I love you?  Or that I’ve been crazy about you from the day I first walked up to you in that bar.  That I never wanted Curtis anywhere near you but I was too much of a pussy to admit it so I lied.  And then you were with him and I had someone I thought would make me happy in your place.  She wasn’t you though.”

Each statement tightens something in my chest.  “Bo.”

He steps closer, continuing like I hadn’t spoke.  “Don’t tell you that night of taking pictures to piss off my ex-wife was the best night of my life.  The simple fact that someone wanted to spend time with me, not just be with me in name only.  That I thought about that night for months.  Then tonight, I decided to allow myself a small taste tonight.  I can’t ever seem to stop thinking about you.”

  “You can’t me get off your mind,” I breathe.

  “Your lips against mine,” he growls, pulling me flush to his body.  “Specifically.  Dreaming about it.  Now that I have the taste of you…I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  “Bo,” I sigh.  My lips touch his and Bo groan loudly, threading his fingers through my hair and deepening the kiss.

  “Yeah,” he sighs breathlessly as we part before stealing a second kiss.

  “I won’t tell you to stop.  So please be sure about this.  I can’t…I can’t lose you.”

Bo growls, sliding his hand down my neck and hauling me in for a third kiss. “You won’t.  I can’t seem to stop kissing you."

  “Good,” I smile against his lips, my fingers curling into his shirt.  My back meets the wall, his weight pressing against me. 

Bo gasps out when I pull away and press kisses to his neck. “Oh, Jesus, you can’t do that.” He hesitantly grips my hips. “I don’t know how much you want and if you do that, you’re probably going to end up with more than you bargained for.” He rasps, his words ragged as my lips move lower.

  “Promise,” I ask playfully, raising to gently nip at his jaw. I’m startled by the growl he lets out.

I pull back to smile up at him.

  “Please don’t tease me,” Bo grumbles. “Everyone always has a good laugh over my noises.”

  “Laughing is basically the furthest thing from my mind right now. What other sounds do you make?  Where do I need to touch you to make more noises,” I smile.  “Can I take this off?”

He groans lowly in the back of his throat, stepping back slowly.  “Are you sure?”

I nod, following him away from the wall, fingers wrapping in the hem of his tee.  “Please.”

He nods shakily and I tug the shirt upwards, my nails scrapping over his skin lightly causing him to shiver.  Tossing the shirt to the side, my eyes scan across his broad chest and toned arms.  “Someone has not treated you right, Bo,” I smile.  “Someone needs to change that.”

  “I think I found someone,” he grins, sliding my shirt upwards.  “I am a lucky man.” Bo mutters, halfway talking to himself as his eyes sweep down my body. Stepping forward again, I run a hand up his arm, memorizing every dip and bulge of muscle.

  “Fuck,” he growls, lowering his forehead to my temple.  “Such simple things turn me on.”

  “Don’t make it too easy for me,” I grin, pulling him in for another kiss.

  “Wouldn’t think about it,” he chuckles against my lips before tracing down my neck.

I giggle as his beard tickles my chest.  My laughter dissipated into a whimper when he ghosted his mouth over one of my breasts, my nerves lighting up. His tongue and teeth quickly wake my left nipple, laving and tugging the flesh until the whimper burst out, “Bo…”

  “I love the sound of my name from your lips.” He says bluntly, tweaking your nipple with his fingers as he moves to my other breast.  “Again.”

I wrap my fingers through his hair to hold him in place.  “Make me.”

He snarls against my skin lifting me.  My back hits the mattress.  “If we keep going…”

  “Keep going,” I groan.  “Please.”

Bo hunts for more kisses, barely giving me time to breathe before he starts fucking his tongue in and out of my mouth. His thumbs kept circling, teasing the taut skin of my breasts mercilessly.

Every groan and whimper seems to drive him more frantic.  “I’m not going anywhere Bo,” I pant when his mouth leaves mine.  “You have me.  I promise.”

Bo groans against my skin, his hands dropping to the waistband of my panties.  “Can I?  Please?”

  “Not from this position,” I smile.

He grins sitting back.  Kneeling, he pulls my legs flush with his chest, hands sliding from my ankles down my legs.  Wrapping his fingers around my waistband, he slowly removes the clothing.  “I’m a lucky lucky man,” he grins, staring down at me.

  “Come here and I can make you feel even luckier.”

  “Not possible,” he smiles.  “But I’m more interested in finding out if finding out if you taste as sweet everywhere.”

  “Like…” the end of my question is cut off by a gasp.  Teeth nipping at the sensitive skin of my inner thigh before a soft kiss.

  “Like there,” he grins, draping my legs over his shoulders.  “Or…”

I squeak, head reeling from how fast he moved then moan loudly at the tongue that was gently teasing my clit. “Bo.”

His firm grip on my hips, knees over his shoulders like they belonged there. He released you briefly to shove his hair back out of the way, flashing you a stomach-twisting smile. “This okay?”

I nod enthusiastically.

He laughs and returns his mouth to my cunt, lazily licking in long, slow strokes with the flat of his tongue.   Throwing my head back, barely believing that this is happening on my bed.  The thought had my belly filling with heat. “Please please please.” my voice cries out desperately, my whole body tense.

Bo growls into me, one arm sliding under my hips.  “Oh, you don’t have to beg.”  He reaches up with his other hand to tease at my entrance.

  “Yes, Bo.  Please.”

His finger breaches me, curling and I see stars.

  “Now who’s making it easy,” he grins, shoving his hair back again.  A second finger joins the first stroking along my spot, his thumb taking up his tongues previous actions against my clit.  The heat and tension finally overwhelming me.  “Bo,” I cry.  Fucking hell.”  I tremble as he continues through my orgasm.

  “Kass.  Baby?”

  “Baby.” I question, peaking down at him.

  “Too much,” he asks, licking his fingers clean.

  “Only if you get up here,” I crook my finger at him.

  “Not going to lie, that was the sexiest thing I have ever seen.  I’m kinda’…I mean… I’m kinda’ wound up.”

I couldn’t help but smile back, my eyes half-lidded. “I don’t even care.  You could last seconds and I would be satisfied.

  “Don’t say that,” he mumbles.  “You can’t let me off easy.”

  “I’m sure you can make it up if you do,” I smile as he crawls up my body.

  Leaning down, he kisses me hungrily on the mouth.

  “Always.” he states breathlessly, slowly sheathing himself.

My eyes fall close and dig fingers into his shoulders with a whimper. Bo instantly stops. “Too much?” he gasped, his hands fisted in the blankets on either side of my head. “Say the word and I’ll get the fuck off of you, okay?” His voice had a ragged sound to it that made you shiver.

  “I’m good, I’m fine.  Just so full.”

  “How do you know just the right things to say,” he groans against my ear as he starts to move.  You have no clue what you do to me.” he growled, snapping his hips up into me.

  “Bo,” I moan and he tenses up over me shuddering.

  “My name sounds fucking good, coming from your mouth.” The heated words pouring out of him did things to me that I hadn’t anticipated.  My refractory period is usually a bit longer, but Bo was hardly playing fair. “I’m yours, I’m all fucking yours Baby. Just say it and it’s yours.  And I’m gonna’ cum. So p-please–” Bo’s voice hitched, and the way he helplessly buries his face in my neck and cried out tipped me over the edge seconds later

  “S...So…Sorry,” he pants, mouthing sloppily over my throat as aftershocks rock through both of us.

  “Jesus,” I sigh, hand sliding down the hair stuck to his back.  “Don’t be.  If that’s what you can do to me in that amount of time.  I can’t wait to see what happens when your not preloaded.”

  “Does that mean I don’t have to sleep on the couch,” he grins, peeking up at me.

  “I will handcuff you to this bed if I have to,” I smirk.

  “I’m up for new experiences,” he chuckles, rolling to his side and pulling me to his chest.  “In the morning.”

  “Morning, noon, night, or midnight,” I chuckle.  “Just stay with me.”

  “Always.  But first, I have to clean up the mess that I made.”

  “Clean me up just to get me dirty again,” I smirk, allowing him to pull me to my feet.

  “Over and over and over again,” he growls against my ear.  “You just have to open that pretty little mouth of yours.”

A/N: Sooooooo..... should there be a part 4 to this series?

[clueless-spector]

The Feeding & The Fed (tw!injury/implied abuse)

(pls click for better quality) I fucking love El Paso Elsewhere. James and Draculae's relationship is haunting. I got chills listening and watching their story play out.

Bit more semi-realistic than I'm used to drawing but I think this Fanart turned out okay. I'm trying out texturing with the screen tones and it's pretty fun :).

Large review/reflection and game spoilers below (tw!abuse):

This game was dark AF and I loved it :)));

I really enjoyed the game mechanics. The rolling and diving was great! The guns were pretty sick–the reload with the double pistols had me grinning–the combat really makes ya feel invincible. Monster design was great; the angels had the coolest design, the brides and puppets were the most annoying and challenging for me, and the werewolves are jumpscare kings, and the vampires are vampires and their ambience groaning freaked me out occasionally.

As I'm writing this I've only been halfway through the game (which in total took me 6 hours and I only got to like chapter 25 before looking it up and saw there's 50 CHAPTERS GOSH DAMN) and watched somebody play the rest of the game which I regret doing because I should've just continued my blind playthrough. I will continue the game when I have the time to, and probably restart it from beginning to end.

The music was great! I very much enjoyed Ghostin' the Mainframe; there's a lil portion of it in I Am Your Beast so I felt like I had some kind of reference for what it was but noooooope! It's quite different from what I usually listen to but it grew on me quickly.

In the game, the way they depicted abuse was so detailed and well written;

From the outright story telling and pacing it seems like the two just have bitter exes vibes and then it turns out, oh shit, it's abusive bitter ex and bitter survivor of said abuse.

The subtext and outright explicit meanings lying between lyrics and memory projectors is incredibly well done and made me feel sick. Especially the Gonna Cut and In The Hole tracks–there's a ton to unpack there holy fuck, very heavy themes of depression and trauma–and the memory of James begging Draculae to stop breaking dishes and the memory located in the locker room–which is just another layer of "OH NO WTF NO WHY" and confirmed a sickening suspicion I had and wish I didn't have.

The part when James reveals what Draculae has done and why he left was fucking devastating. This is where it truly sets in what their relationship is/was like, and feels like a turning point in the game.

I don't usually cry playing games but I felt genuinely upset for James. It hurt a lot. I can relate to him in some ways and feel a lot of empathy for him. He's very well written and his story is dark and he's totally a character I'd like to give a big hug to.

James and Draculae's interactions together in the elevator:

James balances on the line between nostalgic affection and wanting to belong/be loved although twisted, and the shame and fear of what Draculae has done to him. James sounds casual in a few of those moments, but it's more of a "appease the monster" fawn reaction and a small attempt to act like it's the good times. Like nothing is wrong.

Draculae omits herself of any blame for her actions and deflects. It's really fucked up hearing her sound so casual–although it's a nice touch, the kind of monster she is don't typically sound like monsters. While she does seem to be somewhat regretful and hesitant towards hurting James in the elevator, she's still avoidant in these moments and in the end still full of hatred and refusing to change in any progressive way decides to work towards having it just handed to her via the ritual.

The pacing of these memories and James being sure this is what he has to do to keep the world ending:

The mix of nostalgic happy memories and James being stone faced is such a hook, you just want to know how their relationship went from this to now. And then those memories start up, being intertwined with the happy memories and it becomes apparent how conflicted and hurt James is.

The ever realization of "oh fuck I am actually going to do this, killing someone I loved and gave my soul too, and wished loved me back. But she changed and truly hurt me horrifically and we can never go back to the good days, and now I must end this for good. Fuck." In a way James is going through all the stages of grief trying to come to terms with his trauma, his ability to change for better or worst, and his decision to stop Draculae.

Overall, a great game, definitely made it to my top favorites :). I may or may not make a fanfic of this game but I'm afraid it would come off waaaay too depressing; maybe a story of James post-game trying to heal from his trauma and addiction.

[msnanu]

Life Twist 12 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren't expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK's noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 10.2k+

⏤ author's note❧ It's finally here! 😌 - I'm so sorry for delaying this for such a long time, this past month has not been easy for me. When I was getting back into writing my beautiful furry friend decided to cross the rainbow. It took a while for me to feel better honestly. For now this will be the last chapter of Life Twist. I might continue it or not, I'm open to write some drabbles for this couple if requested. I loved writing the story of this two lovebirds and I hope you loved it as much as I did 💜 As always, don't hesitate on leaving your thoughts on the story, it makes my heart warm everytime I read your comments. FYI - I'll be working on new ff's! Love u guys and thank u for the love you gave to this story! 🥰 

"So, you're saying he was totally unfazed about Minho?" says Aria sounding genuinely surprised while Emma added "Like, you did not even sense an ounce of jealousy coming from him?".

The three of you were in a corner of Taehyung's apartment talking or more like whispering about your little encounter earlier today with Minho and JK at the gym's exit. The rest of your friends - including Jungkook - were just a few meters away from you so you couldn’t be too loud with your conversation.

You shook your head and continued "I don't know how to describe it. I’m telling you, he was like another person, not the Jungkook I dated. I mean, for God's sake!" you exclaim shouting in a whisper to your two friends "Last time he saw Minho he kept glaring the shit out of him and now the two of them were acting as if they were friends!"

"Well, I'll be damn. I didn't think he could change this much in four months. Seems like therapy is doing its job" added Aria while taking a sip of her gin tonic.

"And how do you feel about all of this?" said Emma looking at you curiously.

You groan loudly, throwing your head back. "Ugh. That's the thing. I don't know. Every time I see him, I want to jump right on him" you say while watching Jungkook talking to Yoongi on the other side of the room and the girls giggle at your honesty.

"I just-" you stop yourself thinking how to voice out your thoughts correctly "There's a part of me that is full of fear. We are in a good place now, I mean... look we are in the same room, we are not pulling each other’s head off and everything's okay"

"But?" 

"But I'm still in love with him, so madly in love that it drives me crazy. I'm so fucking whipped!" you exclaim while sighing and rubbing your temples.

Both of your friends look at you with worried faces, you're clearly too stressed with the whole situation.

"You know I wasn't rooting for you to fix things up with Jungkook in the first place" starts Aria without any filter as usual.

Auch. That was harsh. But you know Aria means well and she's the type to give tough love.

"But that was Jungkook from four months ago, the guy that couldn't even stand to see someone looking at you. This Jungkook-" she says moving her head in his direction "The one that is doing therapy - even though we know he never was fond of it - in a way it feels like he's a whole new person. He is still the same goofy Jungkook we all knew but I think everything that happened with you made him more mature and maybe - I'm saying just maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to give him another chance" she finishes giving you a sweet smile.

"I can't believe I'm hearing that coming out from your mouth, Aria" said Emma with an amusing tone.

Aria loves Jungkook like a little brother but since you two broke up, she sided with you. There wasn't any bad blood between them at all, but she made it clear that she wasn't happy with how Jungkook had treated you.

You were frowning for a while and seeing that you were awfully silent, Aria's comforting voice caught once again your attention "At the end, it's always gonna be your decision, Y/N. And whatever you decide, it's gonna be okay, we'll be here for you."

"I just don't want to feel any regret, I don't want to make the same mistakes again and again" you mumbled, while nibbling on your bottom lip "What would you do, guys?"

"It's too personal, sweetie. But if you want my opinion, if I were in the same position with Hobi, I would give him one more chance."

"I would too,” said Emma.

It's not like you don't want to give it another go with Jungkook. But it would be your very first time coming back with an ex-boyfriend and the thought of getting back with him and the possibility of your heart breaking up again, terrifies you. Even though, deep down, you know your heart is still with him, you never retrieved it. How could you? You never loved someone as much as you loved him, as you still love him.

And before the wheels in your head starts to work and roll, Aria's voice speaks up again. “That doesn't mean you have to give him a chance tho" she says running her arm around your shoulder and squeezing you a little bit "Maybe you need some more time for yourself, and things might clear up for you on its own"

"Or maybe you just need to go with the flow and relax a bit, don't stress that much overthinking everything,” said Emma.

"That's for sure, you need to calm down, sweetie" added Aria.

"Yeah, I think you're right... I should relax and go with the flow" you repeat - as if it was an easy task for you to do.

And that's the last thing they advised you before you moved on talking about Emma and Joey's honeymoon since they were going soon on a trip to the Maldives.

"Ahhh, Jungkook-ah, stop with the puppy eyes, you're gonna give me a headache" Yoongi teases the youngest, wiggling his brows. Jungkook rolls his eyes although a soft grin spreads on his lips, clearly knowing he got caught staring at you. There's no point on denying it. He doesn't want to be creepy, but you look so beautiful, you always do and it's getting harder for him not to drool over you every time you're near him.

"I can't help it, hyung"

"Did you two talked again about... you know, your relationship?"

"No. We talk about anything but that" the maknae simply responds with a soft smile plastered on his face, reminiscing every single conversation he shared with you these last few days. Just talking with you makes everything better.

"And you're... fine with that?" he asks slowly, sounding confused and surprised at how calmed Jungkook is acting about you and your relationship.

Jungkook gives him a slow nod as he says, "I'm happy of being part of her life again, hyung."

It's obvious that he wants to be with you. But after being apart from you for two months when you broke up and not being able to talk or even see you, he knows that he has to appreciate that you're back in his life, even if it's not in the way he's yearning. If he wants to get you back, he knows he'll have to be patient.

"You know, I bought her a ring before we broke up" suddenly Jungkook confesses, sounding almost proud of himself which catches Yoongi off guard and JK sees it by the way Yoongi's lips part.

"A ring, like- an actual engagement ring?!" he asks right away.

Jungkook nods, pursing his lips in a deep thought before saying "Yes, I was gonna propose in our first anniversary but then all hell broke loose and there went my plans with it" 

"Wow. I didn't expect that."

Yoongi was actually the first person to know this. Neither of his other hyungs knew anything about the ring, not even Jin or Jimin. It's the first time he feels like he can properly talk about it without crying his eyes out. And even though Yoongi is not the most open person in terms of feelings, Jungkook always felt comfortable voicing out his thoughts with him.

"Maybe it was for the best, even if I had to go through an unbearable pain." says JK while he sees Yoongi frowning "Maybe I needed to go through all of that to become a better person, not just for her, but for me as well. She deserves the best version of me. I just wish I hadn't made her suffer in that process."

Yoongi stares in silent at Jungkook with a sense of proud and the youngest frowns while saying "What?" 

"Nothing. It's just...you are all grown up now" says Yoongi pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jungkook snorts finding very amusing Yoongi's reaction. "Hyung, every time I see you, you say that same thing."

"Because it's true! You've grown up so much!" he exclaims, smiling as Jungkook grins taking a sip of the glass of wine in his hand "Well, at least you already have the ring for whoever you'll end up with."

Yoongi sees JK gulping while he fights that lump that is stuck in his throat "That ring belongs to her, hyung. I know it'll end up on her finger sooner or later" he says, wanting to sound as hopeful as possible.

"You sound confident, Jungkookie."

"I-...I just know we'll end up together somehow, I have that feeling, you know?" he says softly, taking another gulp of his glass of wine.

Yoongi nods, listening to JK's words carefully before asking "And you'll wait for her no matter what?"

"Always. She's worth it." Jungkook responds quickly, without a single ounce of doubt.

A few minutes later you were on Taehyung's big balcony, watching the stars illuminating the beautiful night sky. After gulping down what would be your second glass of wine, you were feeling warmer and relaxed. You could hear your friends' voices from inside, hearing Jimin and Yoongi's all-time bickering made you smile without even realizing.

"How was your physical therapy session, noona? Everything okay?" a soft and well-known voice resounds from behind pulling you out of your little world.

You turn around, your heart fluttering and your face feeling hot at the sight of your ex-boyfriend smiling at you. A thousand butterflies swirling inside your stomach.

Fuck. I love you I love you I love you - your mind is repeating non-stop. How is it even possible that such a gorgeous human being exists?

You purse your lips, trying to play it cool. "It was good" you respond after a while "It was actually the last session today, so I guess my hand is finally recovered." 

"Oh! Really?" says Jungkook with an enthusiastic tone "Let me see how it looks."

Your eyebrows furrow for a moment. He gets closer to you, taking your hand in his and looking at it, as if he was some kind of doctor and for some reason it makes you giggle. He looks down on you and suddenly you stare wide-eyed at him because of the proximity of your bodies. Jungkook notices how nervous you seem to be, he knows that look on you, he tries to hide his amusement but fails miserably when you see a little twitch on his lips.

And you can't stop looking at his lips. You are mentally screaming, throwing hands at yourself thinking how fucking weak you are when it comes to this man in front of you.

"I missed seeing that look on your face."

"Wha-What look?" you stutter a little bit. 

Fuck. Keep it together, Y/N

"The one that you had every time you were checking me out" he shamelessly says.

You stumble back a little bit as he tries to hold back a laugh. He always finds you adorable when you get flustered.

"You know, sometimes you're too cocky" you say trying to sound as unaffected as possible even though you know you're failing miserably.

"Maybe, but I also know you, Y/N. And I'm sure you were thirsting over me" he giggles before taking a step closer to you and making you freeze in your spot, then he leans in and whispers at your ear “And just to be clear, if it were for me, I would be kissing you since the moment you set a foot on hyung's apartment."

Chris voice is heard getting closer to both of you, Jungkook steps back a little with a triumphant grin on his face seeing how flustered you are. You gulp all the saliva that has collected in your mouth, touching your hot cheeks and trying to compose yourself to not look suspicious to your best friend who's now approaching.

"So, you two lovebirds, are you already back together or you're just busy flirting with each other?" said your best friend with a mischievous tone in his voice.

Is he fucking kidding?  You are sending daggers towards Chris with your eyes. Him and his inappropriate comments. Jungkook just giggles and shakes his head at his hyung.

"Oh- okay I-I just wanted to tell you something" says your best friend stuttering at first a little scared when he sees you looking at him as if you wanted to murder him "As you know my birthday is coming soon."

Jungkook and you just nod your heads waiting for your best friend to continue, since it is no news for anyone. Chris has been blabbering about turning 31 for the last month or so.

"I really wanted to do something different this time, so I rented a nice place in Gangneung right in front of the sea, for all of us to have a little weekend get-away."

"Wow, that sounds cool, hyung. I'll be there" Jungkook quickly replied. 

"I assume I don't need to ask you anything, if you are not there, I'll kill you with my own hands" says Chris towards you trying to sound intimidating.

"Oh!" you feign fear putting your hands over your chest with an exaggerated ironic tone "I'm so scared!”

"I'm so scared" repeated Chris in a mocking tone and you punched him in his arm.

"Fuck" he hissed grabbing his arm "That hurt.”

"My hand is good as new now so don't test me, Christian" you threaten your best friend as he sticks his tongue out to you and you repeat his actions.

Jungkook just laughed at the scene in front of him with you two bickering as always. Sometimes you two seemed to be younger than him.

A few days later you found yourself at the gym again releasing endorphins and also observing your ex-boyfriend from afar while you are running on the treadmill.

It's not like you are a creep and you're just staring at him. You were minding your own business when you came across with your ex-boyfriend form, standing next to the benches. Jungkook looked visibly uncomfortable with some girl next to him that was clearly flirting with him. His doe eyes kept glancing towards your way as if he was mentally pleading for you to help him.

After seeing over the next few minutes that the girl wouldn't give up and leave him alone you thought - okay, I should probably help him - yeah, it's not like you're jealous or anything, he would help you too if you were in the same situation, right?

You stopped overthinking and you walked with determination towards Jungkook and that girl.

"Hey baby, are you ready to go?" you said grabbing softly Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook's doe eyes look right at you and a smile grew on his face while tugging you close to him. "Yes, gorgeous" he said. The girl in front of you widened her eyes, you could see how embarrassed she felt as Jungkook happily introduced you "This is Y/N, my girlfriend."

Girlfriend. You did not realize until now how much you were missing him calling you that way.

"Oh" the girl said giving you a nod "Nice to meet you. Sorry. I should go."

The unnamed girl disappeared quickly and when she was nowhere to be seen you realized Jungkook still had his arms around your waist. He must have realized too because while clearing his throat, he took his arm back and scratched the back of his head saying "Thanks, she was clearly flirting with me but didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested."

"No biggie, I could see a mile away that you were uncomfortable, I'm glad I could help."

He smiles sweetly at you and you're having such a hard time trying not to kiss him right now. Such a beautiful smile he has.

"Are you leaving already Y/N?" he says waking you up from your trance.

God. I hope he didn't notice me drooling over him again.

"Um, yeah in a bit, I have to finish my routine, but I guess in about ten minutes I'll be done with it.”

That sounded natural. As if you weren't spacing out thinking on a hundred different ways to bang him.

"Great, I'll take you home."

"No need, Kook. Don't worry about it.”

Kook. Oh, how he loved when you called him that nickname. He hasn't heard it in a while. It made him smile instantly.

"I wasn't asking, noona. You helped me, now I want to help you. Don't be stubborn" he said softly nudging his arm with yours.

"Okay, I guess" you said giggling.

Twenty minutes later, you are on the passenger seat of his car, giving him your new address since you realized that he didn't even know where you moved in.

Yes, you had moved out from Chris' apartment a few weeks ago. Although you were very comfortable while living with him and he made sure to let you know that you could stay with him as long as you needed, you really wanted to have your own place. Plus, even if he said that you weren't, you knew that somehow you were disrupting his life. 

He couldn't even have a proper date with Irene at his place because you were there, though you tried to go out with Emma and Aria as much as you could to give them as much alone time as you could.

As Jungkook parked in your building entrance he said "You are living really close to my place now, it's a walking distance. Cool"

"Honestly this is the best area out of all the apartments I went to check."

And it really was. It's not like you were looking for apartments near his place on purpose.

He nods. "And you have security at the entrance, that's relieving."

"Yeah" you say chuckling "That was essential for me and one of the main things that helped me deciding on this apartment." 

He smiles and says, "I'm glad you finally found your place here."

For a moment, you feel like you are already missing him even though he's right next to you. You don't want him to leave. You don't want to go upstairs alone to your apartment.

It's not weird if you invite him in, right? You are cool with each other, it's not like you can't control yourself. But maybe it would be weird for him? Ugh, you hate yourself right now. Fuck it. You'll just go with the flow.

"Do you wanna come upstairs for a drink? I'll give you an apartment tour." 

That definitely took Jungkook for surprise. But his smile grew from ear to ear.

"I would very much like that, yes" he said.

"Great, let's go then."

As soon as you entered your apartment building, the concierge - Kim Jin Hyuk - greeted you both and you introduced Jungkook. You told the concierge that JK should be included on your list of 'frequent guests' from now on, so he took JK's information to prepare his access card. 

Jungkook heart felt warm to know that you wanted to include him in the frequent guest list, even if it was a small gesture. Day by day he could feel you getting closer to him and opening a little bit more. 

If you were part of the frequent guest list, you were given a special card to be able to pass the access control system installed on the building entrance without having to wait for the concierge to call the owner - in this case you - and ask permission for the guest to be able to go upstairs. Of course, the card had to be also used on the elevator which would only take that person to the floor that was assigned to that card.

The security on this building was something else. And after the sad events with Ethan on your previous apartment, you were decided to move in into a place that made you feel secure in every sense, and this was it for you.

"Wow, this is amazing" said Jungkook as he entered your living room.

It's a four-bedroom apartment, a little bit bigger than Jungkook's but it shared a pretty similar vibe. And you were in love of every space on it. Specially the living room, it was big, with a modern marble fireplace - yes, a fireplace - and had a large window with beautiful views of the city. It was an amazing part of the apartment where you liked to spend most of your time in.

After giving him a tour for every single room, you finished in your bedroom with the huge en-suite bathroom.

"The shower is pretty big" you suddenly said, giving Jungkook a sheepish grin.

He smiled too. He knew what you were hinting on. The first time you slept together he had teased you saying that whenever you moved in together you would need a bigger shower. Another thing he missed about you. Your constant teasing. "Mmh, not so sure about that, maybe we should try it out." 

"Oh, I actually tried it with Chris and Irene" you responded with the most natural tone.

"Huh?" says immediately Jungkook with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, the first time I came to see the apartment they came with me and we tried it, Irene was like 'OMG this shower fits like four people' and she made us all - including the real estate agent - get inside the shower just to prove her point" you chuckled while reminiscing on that day and thinking how fools you've must look when you all were inside the shower.

"OHHHHHHHHHHH" Jungkook says as if he finally understands what you're talking about. What was he thinking you were talking about?

"Oh my God!" you exclaim giving him a punch on his arm "Jungkook did you think that I had a threesome in the shower with my best friend and his girlfriend? Are you out of your freakin’ mind?!"

You are both laughing nonstop until he says "Sorry! It's just that the way you said it, it sounded so bad."

"Such a dirty mind you have in that pretty little head of yours" you say shaking your head and still giggling.

"When it comes to you, yeah. It kinda ends up always in that same part of my brain" he said smirking and making you blush.

"Stop it!" you say as you start walking towards your living room with him following your steps behind and still laughing. 

Afterwards, you shared a few drinks and talked about random things, as always. It felt good. Like old times. But in the end when the night came, he had to go home, and you were left all alone in your apartment.

You were now laying on your bed, with your eyes on the high ceiling. You could hear a storm unraveling on the outside. As it was starting to rain, you felt the urgent need to talk with your dad. 

"I saw him a few hours ago but I still miss him a lot, dad. I miss us. But I'm not sure what to do. I wish you were here to help me; you always said the right words" you say as a sigh follows your words.

Suddenly a box that was on top of the closet falls, scattering on the floor all the things that were inside of it.

You had seen that box too close to the edge of the closet a few days ago but you were too lazy to grab a chair and move it to a proper place where it couldn't fall.

"Fuck. I knew it was a matter of time for that to fall" you whispered as you got up to gather it.

When you started gathering everything, your attention gets caught instantly to certain picture. You pick it up and can't help to smile at the sight in front of you. 

It was your first picture with Jungkook. The one he took when you went for a hike when you were staying at Hobi parents’ cottage. And it hits you like the lightning that you just heard from the outside.

You want him. You love him.

"I got your message, thank you dad" you say looking up and quickly getting out of your apartment without thinking for a second. 

You ring the bell of the apartment once. A few seconds after, Jungkook opens the door and as he sees you standing in front of him, his face lights up with a huge and welcoming smile on his face until suddenly he realizes you are soaked and his eyebrows furrow as he looks at you with worried eyes.

"Bab- Y/N are you okay? You shouldn't be outside with this storm. You're soaking wet."

"Oh" you mumble and chuckle while looking down to your clothes "Yeah, I forgot to bring an umbrella."

"Did something happen?" he asks quickly.

Yes. I love you. You were right. We are end-game. I'm sorry it took me all this long to accept it. I was scared. That's what was going through your mind, but you didn't say anything.

You shake your head, and your body moves on its own going straight into hugging him, enveloping his huge body to yours "Please, hold me" you simply say, and it doesn't take him more than one second to hug you back tightly.

With your nose pressed against his chest, you notice his shirt smells just like him, his favorite fabric softener, and that amazing cologne he always wears. That Jungkook scent, the one he always holds, the one that smells like home. 

"Kook," you murmur while you look up to his doe eyes, "Can we please talk?"

"Of course, Y/N" he gives you a small grin as he drags you inside his apartment "Come with me. I still have some of your clothes in my closet, you should change the ones that you have now, you'll catch a cold if you don't." he says, a worry flashing in his eyes as you just nod and follow him.

A few minutes later you were already changed into one of your summer dresses, you didn't even remember that you had left it here. Sitting on his sofa, right next to each other, he decides to speak first.

"So…what do you want to talk about?" he asks lowly as you suck in breath, heart racing against your chest.

Being able to see and talk to each other these last two months, for a moment it had made too easy to believe this chapter with Jungkook was closed when nothing was forcing you to read it. But now it was too late to pretend everything was fine. It wasn't. You couldn't be his friend. You didn't want to be his friend. You needed more.

"You were right, in the end. About you and me, we should be together, we—" you caught yourself, your heart heavy. "I cannot do this anymore; I can't pretend that I'm okay. I don't want to be without you. Since that day when we broke up, when I broke up- I've been trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, that I didn't love you anymore, but I can't keep lying to myself or to you."

His eyes looking straight to yours. Sparkling with hope and so much love. His eyes always tell so much.

It was the first time you'd brought up your break-up fight in the past four months. It had been ugly, and shameful for you. You never screamed at each other before that day, but the events unleashed by Ethan and Lina plus Jungkook's lack of confidence, turned into the biggest fight you had. Coming to think about it, that day you both did things you weren't happy about. And you, unlike Jungkook, you hadn't apologized not even once to him.

This was your opportunity to both heal and move on from the past. If you had a slight chance to build up again your relationship, having a sincere talk with him was the best way to start.

"Y/N, I..." He hesitated for a second, but when he spoke again, he sounded more self-assured. "I was wrong back then. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry, too, Jungkook, I..." you said looking down and remembering your actions that day you felt ashamed of yourself "I never actually apologized for slapping you on the face that day and-"

"No. I mean, yes, we both—but I—" He cleared his throat. "I should have supported you. And I should have apologized before the wedding, I should have gone to Chris' hyung apartment and talk to you but I feared it would be unwelcomed. I know I said this before, but I'll say it again and as much times as it's needed. I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am."

You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, but you didn't move. You hadn't realized how much you'd needed having this talk with him. Even if he had already apologized on the wedding. Even that being totally honest, after the break-up, you couldn't stay resentful for long. You'd forgiven him long ago. But hearing him admit his faults was still a relief. Somehow it gave you reassurance.

"Thank you, Kook." You offered him a soft smile. 

"You know, for a moment, I thought that you would hate me forever for how I treated you that day, I was so afraid of you hating me, but you are such an angel-" His voice broke. He scratched the back of his head, then went on sighing. "I should have been there for you, Y/N."

The regret in his voice was painful. It sent your mind flying in all directions, down all of those roads you never dared to tread. You'd always been good at reading him when you wanted to. For the last few months, you'd refused to. But just then... just then, his walls were down. It was impossible not to see... not to wish...

Right then, seeing him this vulnerable you realized, you were tired of hiding your feelings.

"I still regret pushing you away" you said voicing out your thoughts once again.

This, Jungkook could find a way around. He could tell you it was fine and that you'd done nothing wrong. He could pretend he didn't understand that you were still deeply, shamefully in love with him. But his breath caught, and for a long second, he said nothing.

"Do you...?" He bit his lip. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure Jungkook could hear it. "I never stopped loving you, Y/N. I... You know this... If you want, that is, I want to... I want to give us another chance. It doesn't have to be now, if it's not the right time. It can be... if you need more time..."

Jungkook trailed off and looked away. The blush on his cheeks had deepened. He seemed so angry at himself for his embarrassment that your already heightened senses were sent into overdrive. There he was, telling you what you'd been wishing to hear again, and absolutely being himself while at it. So unapologetically himself, too, that you could have never even resisted even if you'd wanted to.

"I don't need more time" you finally said.

That was enough for Jungkook. His shoulders fell in relief as a smile lit up his face. You could've sworn he outshone the sun. It made you smile, too, but then a small, nervous laugh escaped you.

"This is not what I had in mind when I came over," you admitted.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. I left my apartment feeling like I was going insane, and you could always keep me from spiraling too deep. I just... I needed to be with you."

Your words struck Jungkook. He shifted, taken aback, his mouth open far before any words could come out.

"I don't want to spend another day without you," he finally said. “I know who I want to be. And I hope -” He takes in a breath, eyes shining with hope and sorrow and everything in between. “- I hope you’ll be there with me.”

You swallowed. There was that awkwardness about him, that feeling of not knowing what to do with his hands, or with himself sometimes... it emboldened you. Jungkook didn't want to force contact on you when you were so upset, but his unsure stance told you that he wanted it as much as you did. With this in mind, you didn't hesitate in scooting closer to him.

Jungkook's arms were wrapped around you in an instant. Everything that was weighing down on you no longer felt so heavy. You let your head fall on his shoulder, breathing him in, and the tears you didn't know you'd been holding back were now flowing freely. He didn't pay it any mind until your stilted breathing gave you away, and he pulled back to look at you.

"No, no, don't cry" he said with worried look while running his thumb over your cheek.

"I'm sorry." you said, wiping your eyes, smiling in a way you knew to be unconvincing. "It's just been... too much."

"It's alright." He gave you a little peck on your forehead while his hands had dropped to your waist, refusing to let go of you. "Feeling better?"

You nodded and leaned back into his arms. Just like that, it was like no time had passed between you two. The closeness, the intimacy, it all came back to you with alarming speed. You're so ready to seize this moment once and for all.

"I can't believe it's been four months" you said.

"I know. It feels like forever."

"In a way, yes... but it feels like nothing changed at all."

"It did," he contradicted you with confidence. "We've grown. We've learned. Specially me. This time, I know how to make this work."

"No screaming, then. Or doubting each other" you stated firmly.

Jungkook laughed softly, sending chills down your spine.

"It's a promise."

You stayed like that for a few more seconds, enjoying the closeness. But you wanted more. Jungkook's arms were safe, he was so warm, and he smelled so good that you couldn't stop yourself. You only had to raise yourself a little to get yourself a kiss - so you did.

Your lips found his without trouble, and your heart exploded when he immediately kissed you back, as if he had been expecting, hoping for this already. He was tender, but intense, just as you remembered. It felt like home. You'd missed him so much, too much, and it was driving you insane even as you didn't have to long for him anymore.

He cups your face in gentle manner, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "I love you so much, Y/N" he tells you. His beautiful Bambi eyes hypnotizing yours.

"I love you too, Kook" you softly respond, his smile growing wider as ever as you lean in kissing him once again.

Having his soft, pliant lips against yours was igniting a fire within you. Your kisses grew desperate, bold in their familiarity. Your hands were no longer cautious. You were tangled in his hair, traveling up and down his back, and Jungkook was pressing you against him with a resolve that almost took you aback. It was impossible to miss how Jungkook's body was reacting to this kiss. He'd always been easy to ignite, but you hadn't expected to be thrown back into that whirlwind so quickly and you weren't expecting to crave it so desperately.

His teeth dragged on your lip, maddeningly restrained. At the same time, his hand dropped down, brushing your bare knee. The contact against your skin made you gasp, and his hand, stayed there for a second before going back to your waist. No. You couldn't have that. His featherlight touch had made you wish that his long fingers would trace their way up your leg, straight to where you were starting to burn. And that's how you knew that you were too far gone. You weren't supposed to want reconciliation sex with your ex-boyfriend. You weren't supposed to moan so wantonly between kisses and brazenly open your legs for him, silently begging him to slip his hands under your dress and inside —

 Jungkook froze. For a split second, you feared you'd gone too far, too fast... but he was disheveled, eyes blazing, voice hoarse and tense.

"Are you sure about this, baby?"

That freaking petname. Dear God.

Right then, when you were so full of raw emotion and pent-up desire, denying yourself was not an option. You wanted Jungkook all around you, and you wanted not to feel this heartache anymore.

"Yes. Please."

That was all the encouragement Jungkook needed. His hand went up your leg exactly the way you wanted it too, hot and heavy and leaving a trail of fire. His mouth was now on your neck, nipping and sucking on your blazing skin just carefully enough not to bruise you, even though you didn't care, you just wanted all of him. You let out a whimper when his fingers finally reached between your legs, above the fabric of your lacy underwear. You moaned, encouraging, dropping your hands and twisting around so you could open your legs wider.

He was looking at you intently, no doubt absorbing the sinful image you presented. He reveled in your whimpers every time he pressed or caressed just the right spot - but he never stayed there for long, and the fabric between you two was only making you more desperate.

"You're so beautiful, so, so beautiful" he said.

But before you could answer, he was in contact with your hot, wet skin. His eyes widened, and even you were surprised at how easily his fingers slipped around, making you gasp, your body shocked awake. Fuck. You were so ready. You had been ready for all these months without him. And Jungkook... Jungkook was absolutely gorgeous. He always had that piercing look in his eyes that never failed to make your legs feel weak, but right then, with his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly parted, he looked obscenely divine.

After running his finger lazily up and down a few times, he slowly pushed it inside you. You were holding your breath, trying to hold on to every single second of this - but once inside you, he curled his finger just so you cried in delight, and then again when his thumb pressed on your clit, working you in a slow rhythm that was threatening to drive you insane. His other arm was around your shoulders, giving them both balance and pulling you closer to him so he could go back to kissing your neck. The steady pace was sending you one jolt of pleasure after another up and down your spine, finding place in your belly and curling up onto itself, more tense with each passing second.

But Jungkook had other plans. He removed his hand, but you didn't have time to protest before he knelt in the floor in front of you, a questioning look in his eye. You nodded without thinking, and his grin widened into a hungry expression that made your throat tighten. You wanted it so, so badly. Since the breakup, more than once you'd tried to imagine how Jungkook's tongue would feel again as it brushed against your most sensitive areas, and every time, you'd blushed and pushed the thought away.

There was no need for that now.

While you got used to the idea, Jungkook yanked down your underwear. It was the hottest thing you'd ever seen - Jungkook, down on his knees, his face between your legs and eager to please, always. You watched in awe as his tongue reached out tentatively, barely touching your already stimulated clit. You squirmed. He did it again, this time more slowly and firmly.  Oh, how you missed this. This felt good. Too damn good. His smug, glinting eyes were locked on yours, as he kissed all around your most sensitive areas, everywhere except where you needed him the most. He teased your exposed skin as if he had all the time in the world. It felt like heaven, but he was still refusing to give you the relief you—

The air was forced out of your lungs when Jungkook's lips latched onto your clit, sucking it with the same sort of leisurely care he'd been giving you so far. Fuck. It was nothing like you'd imagined these past months and everything you'd wanted. You couldn't keep up. His tongue and lips were doing wonders, sucking, licking faster, and faster, until you were a gasping, moaning mess, grabbing locks of his hair and pulling him closer against you.

Without warning, he buried a finger inside you. Your head fell back, eyes closed shut. This overstimulation short-circuited your senses and sent your whole world spinning. Jungkook didn't slow down, didn't let up, and once again you found yourself reaching for paradise, hoping for release from this delicious torture.

"Jungkook..." you breathed out. "Jungkook, please..."

That's when he stopped. Your eyes flew open.

You knew his game. Jungkook had always loved bringing you to the brink of an orgasm and no further time and time again, until you were sufficiently wound up and could no longer keep a hold on yourself. You'd always trusted him to deliver, so you only sighed in frustration, a frustration that was short-lived as you watched him wipe his mouth with his sleeve. Your heart stopped. Fuck, that was hot. All you wanted was to push him to the floor and ride him to oblivion right then and there.

Jungkook, however, always put up a fight. He always had a trick up his sleeve. He stood up, his arms now underneath you and lifting you from the sofa. He carried you bridal style the few steps that separated the living room from his bedroom. As you reached his bed, he didn't quite lay you down, but didn't quite let you fall - somewhere between gentle and desperate, considerate and wild, and the second you touched down he was already on top of you, kissing you fiercely, his hands all over your body, trying to reach as much as he could.

You were reeling. Jungkook's weight on you was numbing your good sense. You wanted to touch his naked body and feel his burning skin pressed against yours so badly that your hands found themselves under his clothes on their own accord, sliding up and down his back, grabbing his ass, pressing him firmly against yours, pulling, tugging on the fabric as if that would make it come off.

Jungkook's kisses grew hotter, deeper, until he broke apart for a second. You were hypnotized by the sight of him sitting up and taking off his shirt. You let your fingers catch on his waistband and pull down resolutely. Jungkook shifted to allow you to take off his pants, but you were greedier than that, hooking your fingers on his underwear as well. Everything came off, and just like that, Jungkook was stark naked on top of you.

You were gaping. Jungkook's arms were defined and his chest strong. He was fully erect, clearly yearning to take you, and your need was so overpowering that you almost missed the ravenous look in his eyes. And you couldn't handle it. You slid one of your hands against his chest and your other hand found him, hard and ready, and you were starting to return the pleasure he'd just granted you, when he pulled away carefully, as if it cost him his life. His voice was dangerously uneven when he spoke.

"I want you, Y/N. Now."

He didn't need to say it twice. You felt yourself almost aching with anticipation as he positioned himself between your legs... but he didn't enter you. He was instead grinding against you, basking in just how wet you were for him, this friction seemingly enough for him. You gave him a pleading look that made him smirk.

"You're not playing fair." He spoke. His hands slid up your legs, grabbed your ass, then continued their way up under your dress. He was lifting the fabric as he went, still rolling his hips against yours when he reached your breasts, at which point you had to lift yourself up to allow him to pull your dress off. His arms caught you on your way back down, his long fingers finding the clasp of your bra and undoing it in an instant.

Only then did you lay back down, this last piece of cloth disposed of as you did. He tossed it aside, never taking his eyes off of you.

"Much better."

You had to agree. After all this teasing, your nipples were reacting to the slight change of temperature and the feeling of freedom. Jungkook brushed his fingers against them, sending chills down your spine. Then he squeezed them softly before leaning down to catch a hard nipple in his mouth. You let out a surprised breath. Jungkook's warm tongue drew circles on your skin, his teeth dragging gently against it, alternating this attention between your breasts. And then he was grinding faster, still outside you, his breath heavy with pleasure against your sensitive skin. You couldn't take it. Your muscles were itching for relief and this throbbing emptiness was almost painful.

"I thought you wanted me now," you complained between moans. You were in paradise, but your body still screamed for him. This was not enough. It was maddening.

"And I'm having you, am I not?" Jungkook barely lifted his head as he said this. Your head rolled back when his mouth found your nipple again, this time sucking hard.

Now you were moving too.

"Jungkook, please... I want... I need..."

And then, only then, then he pushed in.

He went in slowly, allowing for the long-forgotten sensation of fullness to wash over you. It was almost enough to make you finish. You were expecting some discomfort after all this time, but your body was too worked up, so you wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you without care. You both gasped. You could almost, almost taste the kind of pleasure that you needed. You rolled your hips once, twice, making him shudder.

"Fuck, Y/N..."

He shifted, leaning back to kneel between your legs, the sudden movement sending a wave of pleasure through you. Your ankles locked behind his back as he started moving, his thrusts shallow and tentative at first, but he gradually pushed longer and harder until you felt him just right, just in the precise way that made you lose control of yourself.

"T-there."

And then it was chaos, and bliss, and everything you had been so desperately craving. Jungkook was moving inside you with a delirious abandon that paralyzed you, the pleasure spreading to every inch of her body. You were being stretched and fulfilled and spread thin, and your control over your actions was slipping away fast. Jungkook was grabbing your legs, clutching you as his own pleasure grew. You wanted to touch him, too, so you reached for him. However, he wouldn't come to you, so you tightened the hold of your legs.

"Come here," you panted.

"I want to see you." His hoarse voice, also tinged with pleasure, only made you more desperate.

"I want—" The thought was disjointed. What did you want?

More. You just wanted more.

"Please, Y/N."

You couldn't deny him anything, so watch you he did. Sweat covered your body, your face felt hot, and your breasts bounced in time with his thrusts. There was no point in feeling self-conscious around Jungkook. Instead, you felt wanted, desired, needed, and it only made your own lust grow tenfold. He was also a glorious sight, his dark hair in disarray and his muscles flexing with the exertion.

This was too much, not enough, and the tension inside you was both growing and begging for freedom. Your legs fell to the bed, open as wide as you could, allowing you to touch yourself without shame. His hand quickly replaced yours, circling your clit in time with his thrusts. Jungkook was going in deeper now that he could move more freely, hitting that sweet spot within you again, and again, and again, with enough power to make you scream for him.

"You said no screaming...?" he said breathlessly in a teasing tone.

Incoherent sounds were being drawn out of you, and it was hard to answer among them.

"Idiot."

And the cheeky grin he gave you in return was everything. It was all you could do not to come undone then and there, the sensations hitting you one after another too fast to process. You were rushing towards your breaking point, and you could focus on little else beyond it. Your eyes clamped shut. You were all rapture and burning skin and he sensed it, his pace quick, wild, constant, his fingers also working on you without reprieve. All you could do was whimper, grab the bed sheets tight in your fists, and beg for mercy.

"Jungkook..." You were repeating his name, over and over. It was the only thing you knew. It was the only thing you wanted to know. "Jungkook, I'm..."

You screamed. Your body flared up in an orgasm so long-awaited, earth-shattering and mind-numbing that it hurt. Electrifying waves of pleasure took over your body, and you were pulsing, trembling, screaming, out of breath and gratified beyond all reason. Your muscles contracted firmly around him, heightening your pleasure and making him throw his head back in ecstasy.

Jungkook slowed down as you came, but once your body relaxed, he started pounding into you and pinching your clit more fiercely than before. You didn't have time to recover. You were being wound tighter again all at once, as if the coil within you had never subsided. You couldn't do anything other than enjoy the sight and let him do your in, until he pulled out so swiftly that you were thrown over the edge a second time. 

He looked at you, his gaze telling tomes of his plans to pleasure you until you pleaded him to stop. You broke the eye contact to look at his cock that was throbbing against your thigh.

"You like what you see?" he smirked, clearly full of himself and the way you gasped at his cock as if it was your first time seeing it. Before you could respond, he kissed you full on the mouth, his tongue slipping through your lips as he did so. You could still taste yourself on his lips, mixed with that taste of him that you could never quite forget since that night he first kissed you.

His lips pressed against your neck the moment his thick cock managed to enter you once again. You gasped, your fingers wrapping around his arms tightly as he nestled himself deep within you, the head kissing the entrance to your womb. Sparks of pleasure ran through your body. Your eyes widened; it just felt like you were thrust into a brave new world, where everything you had ever known ceased to mean what they used to.

He stilled himself for a moment, as if he was allowing you to adjust to the sheer size of him before he went any further. Your eyes fluttered closed as you started to feel like everything you had ever done led up to him, in this moment. Your lips parted in a voiceless moan as you gripped his arms tighter, your fingers sinking into his flesh.

"Oh baby," he whispered in your ear, his voice almost sounding like a moan as he brought his hand to your face to cup your cheek. "Please look at me..."

You opened your eyes, and he gave you that sweet, warm smile as if you had never grown apart. You couldn't help but smile back, finally realising that this was what you were missing out on all this time: a serene, placid love that accepted you for who you are despite your faults, despite everything you've lacked and viceversa.

His hips started moving again, sharp thrusts drawing hushed moans from you as you gripped his shoulders this time, eyes intent to keep their gaze on his. Your hands roamed downwards: down his back, his waist, his hips until you grabbed his tight bum.

You gave him a mischievous smile, and pressed his forehead against yours, laughing a breathy chuckle.

"You're such a naughty girl, baby," he said, his tone coloured with a playful warning as his hands cradled the sides of your face. "We're flipping."

Before you knew it, your back was pressed against his chest. Your limbs were sprawled out under you to support yourself on all fours, however any effort you made to hold yourself up was practically made useless by Jungkook's arm, which wrapped around your waist and pulled you even closer to him as his other arm held you both up.

Jungkook started thrusting again, wilder this time as his cock nudged deeper and deeper against your womb, grinding against spots you never even knew existed. He placed wet kisses all over your shoulders and the crook of your neck, stopping there for a moment as he nuzzled you there.

He stuck his neck out to look at you, hoping to see what you looked like as his cock pushed repeatedly into your depths. With your eyes closed shut as the pleasure overwhelmed you, you couldn't see how captivated he was as he gazed upon your face contorted ecstasy. An errant thrust went deeper than it should have, and you bit down on your lip to stop a loud moan from escaping,

"I wanna hear your pretty little moans again, don't hold back" he whispered in your ear, his deep voice almost sounding like a growling din as he accentuated his last word with a deep thrust back to the depths of your cunt. You couldn't take it anymore; you screamed to the high heavens, and he let out a breathy chuckle, evidently happy with himself and the way he could make you scream.

His fingers found their way around your breast again, toying with your nipple as he suckled on your ear, and you knew that you were going to come undone soon. Your cunt clenched around his cock, and he groaned as his hips jerked harder, faster against you.

"I know you're c-close, baby. I- I'm close too," he moaned, his thrusts speeding up as he became desperate to push you over the edge. "C-cum for me, gorgeous" Jungkook whispered, gripping you even closer to him.

With his last words, you gave in, your cunt spasming wildly around his cock as you threw your head back, another orgasm tearing through you as you screamed his name. The sound of his name coming from your lips pushed him over the edge, his arms holding tightly onto you as his cum spurted deep inside you. He moaned your name, and you felt another surge of pleasure come over you until everything faded to black.

For that instant, time stood still, and nothing was wrong with the world.

You were both sweating, gasping for air, thoroughly satisfied and drunk with pure joy. You were only aware of Jungkook moving away, reaching toward his nightstand's drawer to pull out wet wipes. You couldn't stop thinking how beautiful he is, how lucky you are to be with him here, once again.

This was Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The one you'd been yearning for, and you were never going to let go of again.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, seeing that you were spacing out. You took him in, his hair messy and humid from the sweat, his skin almost shimmering. Being that stunning should be illegal.

"Nothing," you answered truthfully. "I'm just so happy."

"I'm really happy too, baby."

Jungkook offered you a sweet smile and gave you a little peck on the lips, then walked away to throw the wipes in the nearest trash can. This gave you a full view of his perfect body. After what you'd just done, you would've hoped your desires would've gone back to where you kept them locked up - but there they were, alive and present, and if you had to be honest with yourself, you were ready for this new normal.

This new normal was better than the old normal, where you had to endure your pain with your aching heart alone. Everything was easier when Jungkook was next to you. It hadn't escaped you notice that tonight he'd barely let you touch him, at least not as much as he touched you. He'd been focused on you, wanting to make you feel the best that he could... It was a good thing, then, that you knew for a fact there would be a next time.

Jungkook caught you staring again, but you didn't look away. He just stood there for a second, seeming puzzled at your expression, then asked,

"You don't... you don't regret this, do you, noona?"

"Not at all," you answered quickly. "Do you?"

Jungkook came back to you, lying down and wrapping his arms around you. That was all the response he was going to offer, and that was all you needed. You adjusted your position to be able to hold him too and kissed him. He responded in kind, his lips soft and tender. His body against yours was like an oasis in the desert. All you wanted was to live in the sheer bliss of this moment for as long as you could. You were together. That's all that mattered. This way, you could pull through anything.

But the moment was over eventually. Jungkook broke the kiss, touching his forehead against yours, and gave you his boldest grin.

"So... what do you say you give us another chance?"

Your smile was the brightest he ever saw. There wasn't even a need to respond. He already knew your answer was without a doubt 'Yes.'

Something warm pressed itself against your forehead, waking you up. You turned around to find that it was Jungkook, his arm wrapped you as he smiled at you. Everything that had happened rushed back to your half-asleep brain, and you remembered blacking out wrapped in his arms.

"Did you sleep?" you asked him, sitting up as you looked around. In the night, he had clothed your torso with his shirt while he had remained bare chested. Show off.

He shook his head, sitting up with you to fold you up into his arms.

"I couldn't sleep. I was afraid you'd get away from me again," he admitted, looking down to hide his wistful eyes from yours.

Moving quickly, you freed yourself from his arms and straddled his lap, taking him by surprise as you cupped his face and kissed him, the passion of last night resurrecting with a passion.

You broke the kiss and looked at him with compassion. "I'm not going anywhere, Kook."

His smile broke out into a full grin, and his strong arms pulled you down so that your head lay down on his chest again. He held on to you, eyes tearing up with joy as he finally had what he had always sought to have.

"Except..." you uttered, and the grin on on his face turned into parted lips, waiting with a sense of dread for your next words.

"Now that the sun is up, and the storm is over... would you like to go over to Chris' birthday party get-away with me?"

Oh. Right. Chris' birthday is this weekend. Jungkook had already forgotten that Chris had rented a place in Gangneung for you to celebrate with him.

"Yes, yes!" he exclaimed, scrunching his nose with that bunny smile you adore, his heart swelling with relief and joy. "We should go to your place though to pick up your stuff for the weekend."

"Well then, let's get going! Let's re-introduce us to the world, my handsome bunny," you replied, a gentle smile forming on your face as a beautiful future you had once thought of imagining with him began to unfold.

You both scrambled to your feet, as you clothed yourselves and got ready to leave.

He looked at you with so much pride, as if you were the one to be shown to world with rekindled hope. You locked your arm into his as you walked to his car, taking a moment to sink in everything that happened in the last few hours.

You were finally together, as JK had always wanted. He was right; you were meant to be in each other's lives. Giving it much thought, you realized that you still wanted the same things that you used to, except now you wanted his hand in yours each step of the way. Try as you might, you just couldn't escape him. But in his arms, you never felt more free, and you never felt more loved.

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[scribble-dribble-writes]

Pt 5 - And if I loved you any less, I’d be able to talk about it more

<<<prev next>>>

——

Crosshair x female reader

Ex lovers to friends to lovers

——

It was easy to destroy it all, Crosshair was attuned to it, all he needed was one shot, so he took it. Now it had been days since the night he had spent with you and the silence that plagued the two of you had begun to ruin him.

Describing his feelings had always been a struggle and so he chose to pull away, to grow distant because he had witnessed the horrors of the empire and in his nightmares, he saw you in his place.

He sighed, his eyes fluttered open taking in the view of the sea in front of him as he tried his best to live the soft life when it fact he grew frustrated. He could feel the onset of his tremors and that robot telling him that it was possibly linked to whatever that was going on in his mind, he curled his fingers into a fist when he felt the soft touch of a small hand.

“A big part of meditating is letting go, brother.”, Omega’s voice rippled through him and it tightened his chest.

He couldn’t, he wasn’t able to, even now he could feel your eyes on him from up the hill as you stood next to Hunter and Wrecker, the most important people in his life now lacking trust in him.

How could he have the answers to fix the mess he had made and protect them all even at his expense?

“I don’t think this is working.”, he huffed but Omega didn’t let go of his hand.

“Then we’ll try again, together.”, she closed her eyes and looked at the sunset prompting him the do the same.

The sun was pleasant and warming but instead of looking at it, he wanted to look at you.

To try again meant to restart from the basics, to rebuild himself from scratch and that by itself was difficult when applicable to his sniper skills. But to rectify relationships and build back trust? It felt impossible.

Isn’t loyalty lost after a betrayal?

But it was hard not to move away from Omega, from his sister who believed in him, saw the light in his heart that now he was anxious not to prove her wrong. He didn’t want to fail her expectations so he sat straight and closed his eyes to take a deep breath and start the process of letting things go.

——

Wrecker was easy but that was mostly because he had missed Crosshair a lot more that he wished to talk about it. Crosshair knew this because of the sudden hugs and the immediate response to come along to run errands, Wrecker seemed to not hold a grudge.

“Look at you making friends.”, Wrecker laughed heartily when the lady by the docks had thanked Crosshair for his help. It got him to roll his eyes but he had missed this. Missed his brothers and the guilt had eaten up most parts of his spirit when he knew what he had tried to do to them.

He looked over at Wrecker and the words were on the tip of his tongue, an earnest apology but it almost seemed like Wrecker could read his thoughts when he softly jabbed his elbow into Crosshair’s.

“Do you want to try the ice cones from Sally’s shop?”, Wrecker asked.

Crosshair took it in, a small smile breaking across his face.

“I’ve been waiting to take you there, they have your favourite flavour.”, Wrecker added and all Crosshair did was nod which elicited such joy on his brother’s face that he had realised how much he had wanted to have this back.

But you and Hunter were a difficult bunch. He had betrayed one and left the other broken hearted both of which he did not know how to fix.

——

“He needs time.”, you heard Hunter’s reassurance and it confused you.

“He betrayed you and yet you take his side?”, you folded your arms to question to which he smiled.

“He’s my brother.”, Hunter stated with a soft expression as though that was enough of an explanation.

“I’ve always wished for him to come back.”, he shrugged his shoulders when you realised that his intuition about these matters were never wrong. But with Tech’s death still haunting all of you, you understood his forgiveness.

All of them had lost so much already.

“But he does need to explain his actions, I’m not letting him off that easily.”, he smiled at you and you gave a curt nod. At least you were on the same page with one thing.

“He’s much more vulnerable when he’s around you.”, Hunter stated next and your gaze grew sharp.

If he was he wouldn’t have asked you to hide your feelings. But before you could come up with a retort, Wrecker’s thunderous laugh echoed down the Marauder and you heard the sultry tone of Crosshair’s voice.

It angered you, because he had chosen to push you away. You got up to leave, Hunter taking in your discomfort or rather your pain that flashed across your face. You didn’t have to explain your actions to anyone, you wanted to get out before either you or Crosshair saw each other. But that plan had failed as he walked into the cockpit along with Wrecker, his eyes instantly finding yours.

Your heart hammering in your chest, yours eye catching his for a second and staying locked in his gaze for a bit longer before it took all of your strength to look away. Wrecker was oblivious to all of this as he passed the ice cone in his hand to Hunter, who was reading the tension between you and Crosshair like a sensor.

“I had one of every flavour.”, Wrecker chirped as he bit into the ice bar in his hand.

“Crosshair helped a lot today, everyone likes him.”, Wrecker continued to speak with his mouth full.

Hunter hummed but his eyes were on you.

“I’m not too sure of that.”, he said slyly as he took a bite from the ice cone in his hand.

“I’ve got to go help Shep with reading the data from today’s tides and to also find out if there is a way we can keep Pabu hidden from the Empire’s radar.”, you said getting up from the seat which belonged to Crosshair.

“Are you coming to the Harvest festival?”, Hunter asked but you knew him too well to know that just like his brothers, he was concocting a plan.

“I may not.”, you responded growing very aware of Crosshair’s gaze on you, as though he was waiting for your answer.

“You need to come.”, Omega said as she walked into the group. You wanted to say no but she had taken a hold of your hand.

“You promised you would last time if Crosshair was back.”, she said innocently and you heard the sharp breath Crosshair inhaled, his cool demeanour now broken as he tapped his foot.

“Yeah.”, Wrecked echoed in as though he too had just remembered your promise and you knew there was no way of escaping this.

“Ok.”, you said defeated by Omega’s and Wrecker’s enthusiasm, you were doing this for them. To hold the stability of this group to just like when it had been when they had last been on Pabu.

They moved away to chat to Hunter when you took your opportunity to slip away that as you turned you were inches away from bumping into Crosshair’s chest and you froze.

You had to try your best to not look up, it had been days since he had hinted to not wanting you around. You had avoided this proximity and seeing him for so long that all that effort was now destroyed by this moment.

You heard him inhale deeply.

He was crumbling. He wanted to tilt your chin up so you would see him. He had so much to say and he hated himself for not being able to say it.

He refrained from it, the itch in his fingers to hold you. You moved to the side just as he did and he moved to other side just as you did and it got nowhere. You and him were locked in this awkward shuffle.

You wanted to push past him when he held up something to you.

“They said it was mix of berries, fruit and cream.”, Crosshair spoke quietly, the ice cone in his hand stretched towards you, the slightest shake in his wrist as he tried to hold firm.

“I thought you might like it.”, he added and what Hunter had said began to make more sense.

You looked up at him and it squeezed your heart, the way his eyes were wide, his mouth sealed shut as though he was going to let his feelings slip.

You wanted to hurt him but you knew he had been through enough. You took the ice cone and he let his fingers brush against yours.

“Thank you.”, you said to which he nodded.

He needed time, so you were going to be soft with him. It was the least you could do.

He felt the heat creep up to his cheeks at your gesture, maybe there was a way to fix this. But he wasn’t going to force it, he wasn’t going to control the outcome based on his fears. He stepped to the side and let you go.

Crosshair watched you walk away and when he turned to looked at Omega and his brothers. All their attention was on him. But it was Hunter’s look of appreciation that mattered most to him.

Hunter dipped his head as though he was approving of this emotionally improved version of Crosshair that it felt like the best reward. It felt good to be back to where he belonged. So he took his seat and heard the ramble of words as Omega recounted her day to Hunter while Wrecker chipped in.

Crosshair’s anxiety had vained so he could finally admit to himself that he did in fact care for them so much, that now in the temporary safety of this island, he was home

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@waytoooldforthis78