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authorhjk1 · 1 year

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London

Cho Miyeon and Jeon Soyeon X Male Reader

For the last three days you didn't do much except for working and sleeping. Once you finally got to London, you were working without a break to solve the problems that could ruin your company. It started from important briefings and making decisions on a management level, to even working on the projects yourself.

The company located in London is a programming company. It's clients are other firms, which need their own technology for computers and equipment and stuff.

You don't know as much about writing code and programming as you would like. But you can write in two languages and you aren't that bad.

Because the company doesn't have a lot of employees since it's only a small one, you started helping out fixing the messed up code. For some reason, parts of the software you sold a couple of months ago didn't function properly.

It took several days to finally get rid of the most important problems. You leave the smaller ones to the employees, not wanting to neglect your other business for too long.

"And then, you are done for today."

"Are you sure?"

One of your assistants is walking with you. Or at least she is trying to. You always walk pretty fast, since you are always busy. And her wearing high heels makes her walk slower.

"Yes, sir. After the dinner meeting your schedule is clear."

"Thank you, Kate. I will see you tomorrow in the office."

"Have a great night, sir."

You get in your car, putting the address she gave you earlier into the GPS.

While driving through the streets of London, you try to relax yourself a little. This is the little alone time you have during your stay here.

Usually, there is always someone who wants to call you, someone who wants a business meeting, or an employee is having issues. And even if all of the above isn't the case, Kate is pretty much always there.

She really is a great assistant and you regret that you haven't been able to convince her to move to Korea yet. But you are sure that you are slowly getting there.

Once you arrive at the restaurant, you park your car and get in. It's a really nice one, you didn't expect anything less for the upcoming meeting. Walking past the occupied tables, you glance at the other customers. Everyone here is decently wealthy. That's why you are surprised, when you see five young women chatting away over dinner. You are even more surprised, when you find out that they are speaking Korean.

Either way you walk to the back, entering one of the private rooms.

"Mr. (L/n). Please have a seat."

"All of you are here already. Did I get the wrong time?"

"No don't worry. You are never late."

You wink at the man on the opposite side of the table.

It's true. You try to always be as early as possible. Your father once told you: early is on time and on time is late.

"I think we can all agree on this being the most profitable solution for all of us."

Looking around the table, you try to see how many of the six men you convinced. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

"Please don't be offended by my forwardness..."

You mentally roll your eyes. Why do people say this stuff. Either just say it and offend me, or shut up.

"But your company had trouble over the last week. And I'm not sure if you are the best person to partner with. At least right now."

You force yourself to smile.

"Well, that was only one of my companies and we already solved the problem completely. Even now my smaller company generates more profit than your big one."

The older guy looks like he is about to walk out. You honestly don't really care. You don't need all six to help you buy a whole airline. Two or three should be more than enough.

"I also have more than one company!"

"Of course you do. But I make triple the amount of money."

"That's enough! I'm leaving! You came here to ask us for help! And now you are insulting us?"

The other guys are watching the two of you. You don't care if he leaves, but you don't want them all to think that you want to exploit them.

"I'm not insulting anyone. You made fun of my company and I simply pointed out that it makes more money than yours."

"Fuck you!"

You raise your eyebrow as he storms out of the room.

Not paying anymore attention to him, you look at the others.

"I didn't ask you to come for help. I'm just offering a business proposal. Korean Air is doing average right now and I got a pretty good offer. If we invest together, we can make the airline even better. Generate more profit."

Honestly, you don't even need these men. You could buy Korean Air almost on your own. But you don't want to take the risk. If you do it like this, you will only get a third of the profits, but you will only lose a third if it goes South.

You try to keep yourself under control as you go through your emails. The rejection you got was surprising. You didn't expect them all to decline. The offer wasn't bad, so you wonder why they didn't go through with it. Why waste your time and meet them, when they are going to say no anyways?

Your focus falls on something else, when you read the next email. Another big problem with a program. You were sure that everything got fixed. Programs are usually quite forward and predictable. That's why you like them. But sometimes, it feels like their magical. In a bad way. Sometimes there is a problem, but you just can't understand why.

Just like right now.

"May I refill your glass, sir?"

You look up from your laptop.

Currently sitting in the lounge of the hotel you are staying at, you ordered a scotch earlier. You were tired and just trying to get over the failed dinner.

"No thanks. You got some tea?"

You need to concentrate now. And alcohol usually doesn't help with that.

After working around the clock for the last years, you made a habit out of not working in your living space. That includes your bedroom at home and also your hotel room. You always work in the lounge. It helps you concentrate and usually it's not that loud.

"We should've run more tests."

You mumble to yourself, while you open the problematic part of the code on your second laptop. There is a reason why you use a second laptop for coding. You learned the hard way, that it's not a good idea to write code on a computer where you have a lot of important data stored. If something goes horribly wrong, everything is lost. Making your operating system fail due to your code is never a good idea.

"Excuse me?"

Looking up from your laptop, you look at the woman standing in front of you.

"Can we sit here? The rest is all occupied."

You look around the room, only realizing it now.

"Sure."

You scoot over to one side of the couch. The woman and her friends sit down next to you and order something to drink. They look somewhat familiar. Have you met them before? You think about it for a second.

Maybe not.

You return your attention to your work. It's a little harder now, since the five women are talking right next you. Only a couple of minutes later you realize that they are speaking Korean. Now you recognize them. They are the same women, who were eating at the restaurant.

Looking at them for a moment longer, you realize how pretty they all actually are. One of them looks unbelievably cute and-

Stop it. You have to concentrate.

"Here is your tea, sir."

"Thank you."

You put your laptop onto the glass surface of the coffee table, before taking the cup of tea. Leaning back, you relax a little, still staring at your screen.

The woman with the light brown hair laughs at a joke. You can't help but glance at her, as her hand covers her mouth in an elegant way while she laughs. Her white dress with flowers on it makes her look very innocent and cute. Her face looks like one of a princess.

Suddenly the two of you lock eyes and you see her smile at you sweetly. You smile back politely, hoping you didn't get caught staring.

The black haired woman next to you thanks the waiter, when he brings their drinks. Her voice sounds somewhat deep and sultry. You like it.

Trying to concentrate again, you focus back on your laptop. The space you are sitting in is made out of two leather couches, forming an "L". You are sitting on the smaller side with two of the five girls. It's a little tight, but you don't mind.

The shoulder of the woman next to you keeps touching yours from time to time. You don't pay much attention to it, until her hand rests on her thigh.

One of her fingers carefully reaches out to you, touching your thigh. At first you think it's an accident, just like her shoulder, but then a second finger joins.

You are not sure what to make of this. Although you are trying to work, you can't deny that she looks pretty and it's not like you are uninterested.

When three of the girls go to the bathroom, only two remain. The black haired woman next to you and the woman with the light brown hair, who is sitting on the other couch.

The younger woman squeezes your thigh now, her nails slightly digging into your flesh.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

She whispers, without looking at you. Her friend doesn't seem to notice.

When she takes her drink and a napkin from the table, she lets go of the napkin. It couldn't have been more obvious, as it falls onto the ground between your legs. She reaches downwards, her hand brushing against your crotch.

"Soyeon, what are you doing?"

The older woman looks at Soyeon in confusion.

"Getting my napkin."

She smiles innocently while her hand brushes against your crotch again.

This time, her friend caught it. You could see it on her face. A hint of red appears on her beautiful features.

She doesn't say anything though.

Soyeon sees it too.

"Are you being shy? Come on. We have done this before."

You are not sure what is happening right now.

"He does look handsome."

Her cheeks are still slightly flushed, but she smiles cutely at you.

"There you go, unnie. Let's have some fun."

It feels like she isn't even asking for your opinion.

"Come here, princess."

You are surprised by the sudden name calling, but the brunette woman does what Soyeon says.

She gets up from the couch and walks over, standing in front of you.

"Hi, I'm Miyeon. Do you mind if I sit on your lap?"

The high level of confusion you are experiencing right now must be evident on your face.

"Of course he doesn't."

Soyeon answers for you.

Miyeon gives you a peck on the forehead, before sitting down on you. Her back facing you.

Not sure what to do, you admire her body from behind. Her naked shoulders seem to be created by an angel. Or maybe she is an angel? Her face and her outfit suggest that.

But her actions don't. Although her hands are placed on her thighs, you feel Miyeon slowly moving on top of you.

"You know what?"

Soyeon whispers in your ear and you are barely able to shake your head.

"Our little princess has been a naughty girl."

Miyeon looks over her shoulder at you.

"Please punish me."

You really want to. But you are sitting in a public space.

"But you aren't done with work. Are you, sweetie?"

The younger woman's voice seems to radiate pure lust.

"Please, daddy. Punish your little princess."

Miyeon does a little aegyeo, trying to convince you.

"How about we split the work? I write on the laptop the stuff you dictate and you punish this naughty girl."

Soyeon kisses your cheek before grabbing your laptop.

You are still conflicted, but Miyeon lifting her skirt makes you decide very quickly. She exposes her naked butt, revealing her panties. They are matching with her dress. White. With flowers on them.

You can't do much else but watch as the woman on top of you slowly pulls the fabric to the side. Meanwhile Soyeon is opening your pants, fishing out your cock.

You are already hard at the sight of Miyeon and the younger woman's smirk shows that she is satisfied.

"Put your arms around her. She needs a lot of care when she is getting punished."

You do as she says, wrapping your arms around the brunette's waist.

Soyeon strokes your shaft slowly, before guiding it towards Miyeon's entrance.

The older woman sighs in pleasure as Soyeon teases her folds with your cock.

You are still very much aware that you are in public. But it seems to matter less and less.

Slightly lifting herself off you, Miyeon enables Soyeon to line up your tip with her entrance.

"Be a good princess and take daddy's cock well."

"Yes, mistress."

Miyeon moans quietly, when she lowers herself onto you. Your head falls back as you are almost unable to take it. Miyeon is by far the tightest you have ever had. It's almost painful to even enter her. Her walls clench around your cock tightly, squeezing it with all her strength.

You can't see yourself entering her because Miyeon let her dress fall down again. It looks as if she is just sitting on your lap. But both of your faces show, what is actually happening. You feel like it takes ages for Miyeon to completely slide down your shaft. You wonder if you could ever leave her again.

"Come one, sweetie. You have to get your work done."

Half of your attention moves back to Soyeon. It's like she is almost torturing you.

"Alright."

You can barely speak as Miyeon slowly begins her journey upwards.

"Int ETC = 5."

Soyeon types what you say.

"Int ETD = 9."

You are very glad that you are almost done with the code, so it isn't that hard. But Miyeon does her best to distract you. She lowers herself back onto you again.

You are still not entirely sure how you ended up in this situation. But Miyeon's tight snatch makes it hard concentrate on much else.

"Right_Coordinates( Program_C, 15, 70)."

Soyeon does as you say. You watch her typing in the code.

"Next."

It's like she doesn't even care that you are buried inside of Miyeon to the hilt. The brunette leans against you as her pleasure begins to increase. Although she is going slowly, the situation makes her horny. She never did this in public. Her pussy clenches around you as the thought of getting caught flashes through her mind.

You still hold Miyeon's waist, controlling her pace. It takes immense amount of self-control to not just fuck her brains out right now. She makes you go crazy with her pussy, tempting you to do more. Tempting you to tighten your grip. To make her bounce up and down your cock.

But you stay still. Trying to get out of this without getting caught.

"Sweetie?"

Soyeon is mocking you. She must know exactly what you are fighting through right now, but she is still making you work. It's as if the two are punishing you.

"If (ETC > XXX)

get.image045

else

get.image056."

You are glad that you are getting closer to the end of the code.

"Daddy, can you play with your princesses clit, please?"

Miyeon's begging makes you focus all of your attention back to her.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes, daddy."

"But aren't you supposed to be punished?"

You can feel the disappointment coming from Miyeon.

"But... But I need it."

Her cute voice tries to convince you to give in.

"How much do you need it?"

You know how to play this game. You are very good at it. And you attempt to punish the brunette really bad.

"I feel like I can't live without you. I can't live without daddy's cock."

Pretending not to listen, you dictate the next couple of lines.

"Daddy needs to pay attention to his princess. Or she will become really naughty."

"Is that a threat?"

Miyeon keeps gliding along the length of your shaft without rest.

"It's a prediction. Princess would never threaten daddy."

Her usage of the pet names makes you grow even harder inside of her. You are sure the brunette feels it.

Soyeon nudges you with her elbow.

"Return DDW."

She does as you say.

But Miyeon really does become impatient. In an instant she grabs your knees instead of her thighs. Raising her hips again, she impales herself on your cock.

"Add a semicolon and-Fuck."

You moan as Miyeon reaches your base with a new speed. It feels like she has become tighter. It feels like you are even deeper inside of her now. Before you can stop her, Miyeon raises and falls one more time. You see stars. Tightening your grip on her waist, you hold her in place. You are still buried inside her, while she is unable to move.

"I told you I will become naughty."

You quietly agree.

"You should bring me to your room. Just tear this dress off me and bend me over."

Being a great business man, your self-control is very high. But Miyeon almost makes you break. You want to bend her over right now. But you can't. Instead, you move your mouth to her skin. Sucking on it, you shut her up for a moment. She feels smooth and flawless. A cute moan leaves her lips, as she feels yours on her skin.

But she recovers too quickly from your attack.

"You should spank me really hard. Because I was so naughty. Because I was craving daddy's cock."

Her words and her appearance are just not matching. She looks like a princess, she sounds like a princess, but she speaks like a little brat.

"I'm going to give you the punishment you deserve."

"Yes, daddy. Please."

Miyeon leans her head back, letting it rest on your shoulder.

"Use my body how you want."

"I will."

You whisper into her ear. Hands still on her waist, you begin to make her move again. Miyeon happily complies.

Glancing at the computer, you read the last line.

"Return DDW; Fuck!"

"Don't write that. Delete the last words."

"Are you sure?"

Soyeon looks at you innocently.

"Yes. I am."

You watch her deleting the last word.

"Okay. Now you need to go the main function."

"What? How?"

You growl in disbelief. Miyeon's movements make you very impatient. And you should have predicted that Soyeon doesn't know much about writing code.

"Go the last line of the whole code."

While she does it, you feel Miyeon sneakily taking one of your hands in hers. Slowly, she guides it towards her core.

"Now what?"

You are distracted by Soyeon.

"System_FG(motion, 50, 70, 6)"

In that moment you feel your hand move under Miyeon's dress.

"Miyeon."

You scold her, making the brunette stop.

"But daddy. Don't you want to make me cum?"

"I do. But not here."

You don't even think about it. You know you want to. From the moment she sat in your lap you wanted to.

While your hand joins the other again, you look at the screen.

"If( ETD < SGH)

Return Exit_Failure

else

Return SGH."

You lean your head back, once Soyeon put in the last semicolon. You honestly don't know if it's compilable, but you decide that it's an unimportant detail for now.

"It's finished."

"You did so well."

You sigh in relief, while Soyeon puts down your laptop. Miyeon smiles at you over her shoulder.

"Now daddy can punish his princess properly."

In that moment you remember their friends.

"Wait. What about the others?"

"Don't worry. They are out."

Soyeon turns towards you. Her elbow on the armrest and her chin on her hand.

"How about you show us your room?"

It took you longer than expected to leave Miyeon. You didn't really want to, although you knew you could fuck her soon enough. But her tightness was almost traumatizing. When you finally did leave her pussy, you almost forgot to take your laptops with you. The cause of that was Soyeon, whispering dirty words into your ear.

She is unable to do it now though, since her mouth is occupied. Pressing her against the wall of the elevator, you make out with Soyeon passionately.

Although it probably takes you only five to ten minutes to your room, Miyeon's need for your touch can't wait. That's why your hand is under her dress, while your tongue is in Soyeon's mouth.

After what you did in the lounge, the fear of getting caught vanished. You guide the two women to your room, or your suite rather.

Once you are inside, you are already occupying Soyeon's lips once more. You feel Miyeon pressing her body against yours from behind.

"Daddy. Give me some attention."

Her cute voice enters your ear from behind. Her hands roam your body, occasionally touching your crotch in the process.

"It's my turn, slut."

Soyeon mumbles into your mouth, while she undoes you tie. Your tongue explores her mouth, while your hands wander over her figure.

You feel the naked skin of her back. You feel her thigh, when you drop your hand lower. Her body seems to be made for you to touch. And the way Soyeon moans into your mouth shows that she thinks the same.

When you are about to undo the strings of fabric on her back, Soyeon pushes you away a little. Taking the loose tie, which is now dangling around your neck, into her hands, she looks past you at Miyeon.

"Time for your punishment, princess."

Her tone is lustful and deep. The brunette looks excited and curious at the same time. In an instant, Soyeon has wrapped your tie around her wrists, tying them together.

"You have been such an impatient and naughty princess this whole time. Now you have to watch me getting fucked."

Miyeon's expression changes from excitement to horror.

"No. Please. I need daddy's cock."

"Silence. Just watch."

With that, Soyeon pushes Miyeon, making her fall onto the bed behind her. Because her hands are behind her back, she can't get up. She can't touch you. She can't even touch herself.

"Daddy!"

Her cry for help falls on deaf ears, as you watch Soyeon turn towards you.

"You are mine now."

Like a hungry lion, Soyeon jumps you. Quite literally. Because she is kinda short, she had to stay on her toes during making out. Now she jumps into your arms, making you hold her like this. Your hands are squeezing her naked thighs as Soyeon crashes her lips into yours.

"Daddy!"

You keep ignoring her while you kiss Soyeon deeply. Her lips still taste like the drink she had. Something sweet. Her hands hold onto your neck, not letting you go.

Once she has had enough, Soyeon whispers into your ear.

"Fuck me. Fuck me so hard that Miyeon cums from just watching. Without touching herself. Begging for your dick."

Without a word, you turn Soyeon around and push her. She lands on the bed too. Her head at Miyeon's feet. Finally having her where you want her, you undo the strings of her top, exposing her fully naked back. Your tongue starts its journey from her neck. Slowly traveling over to her shoulders. Then her back. You kiss and lick her skin while holding her in place.

Soyeon moans at your touch, unable to predict what spot you focus on next. Her eyes rest on Miyeon. The brunette has managed to sit up, leaning against the headboard. The lust in her eyes makes them dark pools of desire as she watches you worship Soyeon's perfect skin.

"Daddy."

Her begging has been reduced to a pitiful whine. Finally making eye contact with her, you see her smile. Hoping for you to change your mind. Hoping that she got punished enough.

Instead you reach down, moving your hand underneath Soyeon's skirt. Pulling her thong to the side, you slip one finger into the young woman. You are surprised at her wetness. Seems like the foreplay in the lounge got her off more than you thought. You finger her slowly, while keeping eye contact with Miyeon.

The brunette's cheeks are flushed as she watches you. She bites her quivering lip, needing release. A small part of her mind wonders, if she can actually cum without getting touched. But most of her focus is on you as you drop to your knees.

Soyeon is still bend over the bed, her knees on the floor. With one long lick, you taste her pussy from the bottom to the top.

"Fuck!"

Soyeon curses as you start to eat her out. Your hands hold her ass cheeks, kneading them, while your tongue pleasures her. The younger woman's moans make Miyeon want to get eaten out, too. The way her body moves when you hit the right spot. The way her glassy eyes look up at the brunette. The way her hands hold onto the bed sheets.

Miyeon feels her own pleasure rising. She imagines that she is the one bend over the bed. That she is the one that has your tongue in her pussy. That she is the one that moans in ecstasy.

"Daddy. I'm so sorry for being a naughty girl."

Her sobs make you look up for just a moment. Miyeon's cheeks are now bright red. A small trickle of blood is leaving her lower lip, where she bit to hard on it. She keeps trying to get the tie off her wrists, but her efforts become weaker.

"Daddy. I want to be a good princess."

"You will be."

It's a short answer. But it's the only one she is getting. At least for now. You pull Soyeon further onto the bed, positioning her on all fours.

"Yes. Fuck me good. Show that little slut what she is missing."

You push Soyeon's back further down, her ass moving higher in the process. Your tip brushes against her folds and she lets out another moan.

"Pound me."

It's a simple order. A good one. You do as she says.

Sliding inside of her, you feel Soyeon getting pushed forward. Her hair now falling onto Miyeon's naked feet. She took her shoes off when she entered your room. Now her hair is tickling her feet. Miyeon certainly is getting punished. There is no doubt about it.

You start to fuck Soyeon in front of the young brunette. Her pussy is wetter than Miyeon's, but not as tight. You can't help but compare the two of them.

"Fuck!"

Soyeon moans as you move in and out of her. Her wet walls let you glide easier through her. Reaching forward, you grab her hair, wrapping it around your fingers. It makes her raise her head, looking straight at Miyeon. The two of them lock eyes.

The brunette whines as she watches her friend getting fucked like this. She keeps imagining that it's her. But just watching isn't quite the same. Miyeon needs more. She needs more friction. She needs touching. Moving around a little, she tries to slip out of your tie, but to no prevail. Soyeon knows how to tie a tie.

Unable to move much, she has to watch. She doesn't want to look away from the scene in front of her. She can't.

Soyeon's glassy eyes as you fuck her from behind. Her black hair wrapped around your hand, while you pull her head up. Soyeon scratching at the sheets, as you hit the right spot in her pussy. Your hand at her waist, holding her tight. Your shirt that got unbuttoned, showing off your muscles. Sweat slowly forming on your chest.

All of it she takes in. Miyeon starts to feel hotter. And when you fuck Soyeon harder, she feels like you are doing her harder. The brunette experiences your and Soyeon's act of sin as if she is participating. She smells your and Soyeon's scent. The sweat. The smell of sex. All of it.

And with that, Miyeon grinds on your pillow. She doesn't even realize it at first. But the pleasure in her body and in her mind starts to build up. Like waves. Like waves that are about to crash onto the rocks.

Hearing Miyeon whimper louder, you look up. You have been paying attention to Soyeon, but the sight of the brunette like this is a rare moment to witness. Her teary eyes begging you to touch her. She grinds on your pillow, showering it with her scent and probably with her juices soon as well.

Seeing her like this only makes you fuck Soyeon harder. And faster. Your hand leaves her hair and both of them reach for her shoulders. With new found strength, you give it to her hard. Pulling her towards you, while you push forward. With every thrust. You can't see her face, but Miyeon's makes up for it.

"Oh god!"

Soyeon moans louder as you fuck her as hard as you can. Miyeon looks like she is dying of thirst. Sexual thirst.

"Yes! Harder!"

Soyeon becomes more vocal. She starts to speak more, as you feel her hot cavern tighten around you.

"Daddy. Please fuck me after you make her cum."

Miyeon is begging once more as she feels the waves of pleasure in her body building up. Higher and higher. Her anticipation grows, wanting to see how Soyeon cums around your cock.

And the black haired woman does her that favour only a few moments later. Her moans become longer. Her breathing heavier. Her walls tighter. Her pussy wetter.

And then she cums. You stop moving as you are forced out of her by her juices. They spill onto your sheets and onto your legs, dripping down onto the floor. A long drawn out moan escapes Soyeon's mouth. It feels like it's going on for hours, until she finally falls flat onto the bed. You honestly have to say that you are dead tired as well. But there is still someone else in the room. One down (quite literally) and one more to go.

Looking at Miyeon, you are surprised, when you see her shaking slightly. Her eyes are shut tight, her teeth digging into her lips. Her hands twisting behind her back, while she trembles on top of the pillow. You realize that she is cumming, too. Not as hard as Soyeon, but hard enough that it rocks her body. The build up waves finally crash onto her. Drowning her in pleasure and arousal. Making her gasp for air.

Catching your breath, you wait a minute for Miyeon to calm down. When her eyelids flatter open, her eyes focus on you.

"Princess."

You slowly walk towards her, while using her pet name. She looks up at you. Desire and hope glistening in her dark orbs.

"Do you think you have been punished enough?"

"Yes, daddy."

Miyeon nods immediately. There is no way she can hold on for much longer. Her hunger for you slowly consuming her small body.

"Turn around."

It's not easy for her to do so. But her eagerness helps her. Once her back is facing you, you see her move her fingers.

"Is daddy going to get these off?"

You reach out to stroke her hair. She seems to relax a little at your touch. Once your hand reaches the back of her head, you suddenly hold her. In one motion you push her forward. You shove Miyeon head first into the mattress. Hearing her squeal in surprise turns you on even more. Your hand rests on her naked back, making it impossible for her to get out of this situation.

Teasing her labia with your cock, you bend down towards her ear.

"You fucked me without asking earlier. Now it's my turn."

You can't understand her response. Her voice muffled by your sheets. But the moan that escapes her lips is too loud to be soaked up by the sheets. As you push into her, you feel Miyeon squirm underneath you.

This is what she has been longing for, for the past thirty minutes. Since the moment you slipped out of her pussy. The feeling of your cock as deep as it would go inside her tight snatch.

Like the first time, bottoming out inside of Miyeon makes your head spin. Her tightness is unmatched.

"If princess cums like a good girl, I will untie her."

No answer. Only a lewd moan as you withdraw your cock almost entirely. You start out with slow and deep strokes. Similar to the way Miyeon was riding you earlier. Enough friction for the both of you to feel unbelievable pleasure. But at the same time too slow to satisfy your desires.

Miyeon's smooth walls clench onto your cock as you give her deep thrusts from behind. After a while you loosened your grip on her head, enabling the brunette to move it a little. Now her mouth isn't muffled by the sheets anymore.

"Daddy! Harder! Faster!"

It seems like those are the only words in her vocabulary right now. She repeats them over and over again. As if she is chanting a spell. With every trust you deliver, you fuck her harder. And with every word of hers, you fuck her faster.

Soon you are pounding Miyeon head first into the mattress. You know she loves it by the way her body twists in front of you. Sweat is making her bare back and shoulders sparkle in the light. Her brown hair starting to stick to her skin.

It's what Miyeon has been dreaming about, since you started to fuck Soyeon in front of her. To get used like a toy. To be a good princess. To take your cock like a good girl.

Putting one foot on the bed, you start to thrust harder.

"Oh my god!"

This way you somehow reach further into her depths. If you had to describe infinite pleasure, you would mention Miyeon's face. Her features are twisted. Her eyes rolling. Her mouth open, drooling onto your sheets. The princess like aura that you thought she had in the beginning has been washed away by the waves of pleasure. They hit her body over and over again.

"Cumming!"

Miyeon's high voice almost makes you lose your hearing. When she cums, her pussy almost squeezes the life out of you. You have to stop moving, afraid you are going to hurt her or yourself. It's almost painful as her tight snatch contracts around you. It feels wonderful at the same time. You can't help but groan as Miyeon shakes in front of you.

When she finally calms down from her high. You are still not moving. The brunette breaths heavily. Beats of sweat dropping from her cute nose onto the sheets.

"I think you have to let him go, princess."

You didn't even realize that Soyeon is now sitting next to Miyeon. You were too focused on punishing her. It seems like Soyeon's exhaustion is gone after she watched you rail her friend into oblivion.

"My turn."

Soyeon slowly helps you to retreat out of Miyeon's snatch. She is still too tight to move at a normal pace, so it takes a moment until you leave her. Her freshly fucked pussy looks delicious and you can't help yourself but give it a deep kiss. Miyeon moans into the sheets as she feels your tongue.

In that moment you feel Soyeon's tongue on your cock.

"Wow. Princess, you taste really good."

You can only agree as you push your tongue a little deeper into her tight cavern.

Unfortunately, you find yourself getting closer at Soyeon's work. Her skillful tongue playing with the tip of your cock, while her lips are wrapped around you.

"Wanna ride you."

No question. Not asking for permission. This girl is really something. Letting go off your cock, Soyeon moves aside so that you can lie down on the bed. She straddles your lap and a second later, you are inside of Soyeon once more.

"Oh gosh!"

She throws her head back as she rides you fast from the start. You can't do much else but hold her waist. To your surprise, you see a pair of quivering thighs enter your vision.

"Please daddy."

Miyeon keeps crawling backwards, until her pussy is right over your face. Moving your hands, you grab her butt, forcing her lower. Miyeon sits up straight, while she lowers herself onto your mouth. You give her a long lick up and down, before you focus your attention on her clit.

"Holy-"

Her curse is interrupted by Soyeon's loud moaning behind her.

While you eat out Miyeon, Soyeon keeps riding you. The two women moaning in tandem, as they both take pleasure from you. Soyeon's wet entrance coats your cock with her juices as she bounces on you. The brunette's hips buck against your face, desperate for more friction.

At one point, it feels like both of them are riding you at almost the same pace. You have to hold Miyeon down with her thighs, trying to make her cum. You feel her getting out of rhythm already. Because she still has her dress on, you can't see much of what's going on, but what you feel is more than enough. Your orgasm seems to be approaching. Slowly but steady.

Soyeon's work makes you groan into Miyeon's pussy, making the woman on your face finally cum again. She tugs at your hair desperately as more and more waves crash onto her small frame.

You grab her thighs harder, trying to prevent yourself from cumming in this moment. You might be leaving red marks on her creamy skin, but at this point the three of you are too far gone anyway. Soyeon impales herself over and over again with your cock. She spits out horrible curses as you feel her pussy getting wetter again.

You love the contrast between the two women. Soyeon is extremely wet and doesn't care what she says while she rides you. She only takes what she wants, not asking for your pleasure. Then there is Miyeon. She is unbelievably tight. Her cute face at odds with the filth that comes out of her mouth, when she is desperate. She is truly needy. Ready to do anything so that you keep pleasuring her.

Both of them are using your body. You don't complain as you feel yourself slowly trembling towards the edge.

"I'm gonna a cum."

You hiss into Miyeon's snatch, making her climax one more time. You don't know if its because you are eating her out, or the prospect of making you cum. Either way, she shakes on top of you.

Soyeon begins to slow down, breathing heavily. You only met the two of them about two hours ago, but you are sure that your climax doesn't mark the end of this activity.

As Miyeon collapses over your body again, Soyeon gets off your cock. Suddenly feeling her lips, you close your eyes.

"Come here, princess. You deserve a drop."

Miyeon acts surprisingly fast. In one motion, she turns around, still sitting on your face. You start to lick her folds again, hearing her moan deliciously. Then, you feel a second pair of lips on your cock. The two of them are making out with your cock from both sides. Their tongues twisting and playing.

At one point you are unable to keep pleasuring Miyeon. The only thing you can do is just lie there. It only takes a couple of moments.

Feeling your cock twitch, Soyeon takes you into her mouth, while Miyeon keeps working your shaft. You groan as you finally cum. Soyeon keeps sucking you as you shoot your cum into her mouth. She moans in satisfaction. When your head finally stops spinning, you hear the two of them kiss. It sounds like Soyeon is sharing some of your cum with Miyeon.

"Don't drop it."

It's the only thing she says and you are disappointed that you are unable to watch. Soyeon's hand at your base indicates that the two of them aren't done, though.

#kpop #kpop girls #kpop smut #male reader #kpop gg #gidle miyeon #gidle #soyeon #miyeon

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octuscle · 1 year

Note

Hey there! A good friend of mine gets recently a wrong suitcase from the airport and suddenly disappeared. I never got a text from him anymore. It seems like he has forgotten his real life - I hope he's alive! My problem is that I get a strange suitcase too now. It's from SBH. Maybe I should bring it back?

Really a strange suitcase. You could have done more with a decent hard case from Samsonite. You've been wanting one of these for 30 years. But this? A pretty ugly bag for your taste…. Seems to be from France, the name has an accent on the second e in any case. No idea how to pronounce it now. You take a picture of the bag and let Google Lens see if you can get something for it on ebay….

WHAT THE HELL! 8.500 EURO! For a bag. You get out your reading glasses. You need to take a closer look. Okay. You've made a mistake. It's 85,000 euros. You're getting dizzy. Are the zippers and the lock made of white gold? What justifies this absolutely absurd price? For a company that nobody knows. At least you've never heard of it… Now you are curious about the contents. The lock hangs only decoratively on the bag. It is not locked. It would be better if it was. The contents are two sets of underwear, two pairs of silk boxer shorts, a couple of T-shirts, a toilet bag, which you assume costs a fortune… Everything is incidental… Most of the space is taken up by bundles of hot-off-the-press 200-euro bills. There must be several 100,000 euros in there. What the hell!

Take the bag and run? Seems like a shitty idea to you. The shipment went to your address. Whoever owns it (and it's not you) knows who you are and where you live. None of this makes any sense! You search the side pockets. An airline ticket. First class. From Paris back to Saint Barth via Saint Martin. And a booking confirmation for an overnight stay in a suite at the Pullman Paris Roissy CDG Airport. Tonight. All in your name. Fuck, you can't just fly to the Caribbean with some underwear and two swim shorts and an incredible amount of money. But if you do, you have to hurry. Shit, you'll regret it. But you buy a train ticket to Paris, put on your best suit. And you're on your way.

On the train, everything was still okay. But in the lobby of the airport hotel you get a lot of looks. Yes, first of all you don't fit into the elegant frame. Your suit is enough for a customer appointment as a representative of construction machinery. But here all the people are slimmer, more elegant, prettier…. You look like a slightly overweight piece of dirt. With a 15-carat diamond in your hand. At the reception, the lady smiles at you briefly. Then her eyes fall on the weekender. And just breathes a "How beautiful!" Then she apologizes that they can't offer you anything better than the Superior Suite. There were other VIPs here besides you who had received the very large suites. As an apology you would receive a bottle of champagne in your room. And they would be very grateful if they could invite you to dinner. Your luggage has already arrived, they were so kind to bring it to your room. If you need help unpacking, you can reach the butler service at extension 940.

You thank her and ask for a discreetly placed table at 8:30 pm. The champagne gladly with your meal. In fluent French. You beam at the young lady, she blushes and smiles back.

It's a good thing your suitcase wasn't checked in directly by the Air France service. You would like to change again for dinner. The suite is okay for one night. In the bathroom, you look in the mirror. Why did you put on that cheap suit? You must have been really mentally deranged. Were you trying to disguise yourself? Silly! You jump into the shower. While drying off, you think to yourself that you are actually quite firm for a man in his late 40s. Yes, a little more exercise would be okay. But otherwise… You open the Hermès suitcase, take out a black suit and a black shirt. And you change your clothes. You find the Royal Oak to match. And as a statement, the crocodile sandals. Let everyone see your freshly pedicured feet.

There's hardly a pair of eyes that don't turn to you when you enter the restaurant. If your ego wasn't bigger than the Eiffel Tower, you might be embarrassed that the entire staff looks after you first and then the other guests. You see people whispering. Everyone wonders who you are. The problem is: you don't know yourself… For a moment, you look at your manicured fingernails and wonder what's going on. Then you take a sip of champagne. Veuve Clicquot. Well… It's a gift… It's okay for that…

After dessert, the waiter asks if you would like to have coffee and digestif with a cigar at the bar. Normally you think this is a good idea. But not today. The flight to Martinique leaves quite early. Before that, you would like to get some sleep. So you decline with thanks and put a 100-euro bill on the table as a tip.

A message on your cell phone wakes you up at 4:00 in the morning. You are supposed to take some courier goods with you. You can get it at the hotel reception. Fuck! What is this again? Anyway, you are awake now. Then use the time at least. 100 situps, 100 pushups. You like the picture in the bathroom mirror afterwards. The hair on your chest is jet black. Just like your beard, there's not a gray hair to be seen. And sweat drips in the grooves between your six-pack. You get a hard-on like you haven't had in years. You can't help it. You have to jerk off. And boy, there was real pressure on your balls. Your cum runs off the mirror like someone threw a cup of yogurt at it. It's just before 6:00 now. You call 940 and ask Yves to pick up a package at the reception desk, which would be deposited there. Until he arrives, you do another 100 push-ups. When the knock comes and you open the door, your eyes fall on a turquoise package in Yves' hands. Yves' gaze falls on the package between your legs. Shit, you are naked. Yves asks if he can help you in any way. He still does not look into your eyes. You pull him into the room and throw him on your bed.

Two hours later Yves serves you breakfast in your room. You are ready for departure. Airfrance has already picked up your luggage with the package, which is probably not from Tiffany's, and your boarding pass is in an envelope on a silver tray on the breakfast table. In half an hour, someone will pick you up and take you directly to the plane. Security checks are something for people who have to travel in business class.

Flights with Air France are orgies of champagne and foie gras. The nine hours fly by. The fuck with the purser in the bathroom certainly played its part. The guy thought you were in your late 30s and asked if you were flying on your dad's credit card or your own. For the impudence he had to blow you unfortunately. Whereby he was not so wrong. Somehow you fly with daddy's credit card. But you still don't know who Daddy is. The pilot of the private plane who meets you in Saint Martin directly on the tarmac and flies with you to Saint Barth doesn't tell you that either. You have never been here before. But you feel right at home. This is how you always imagined the Caribbean. There is a Maybach on the tarmac. When you get off the plane, the driver comes to meet you, takes your suitcase and weekender and puts both in the trunk. Wordlessly. And just as wordlessly, he gets into the car and speeds away.

Shit! Now you're standing at the airport. You don't even have an ID card. You have the clothes you wear on your body. Okay, the watch you're wearing on your wrist could get you back home if need be and feed you for a year. That's where the Maybach comes back. The chauffeur gets out and asks you for the watch. Fuck!

At that moment, an open jeep rolls up to you. At the wheel is a young guy, maybe in his mid-20s, waving at you. Damn, you know that face… He reminds you of your lost buddy. Did he have a son who is a personal trainer in the Caribbean? That's definitely what the man looks like. The guy jumps out of the car, hugs you and welcomes you to Saint Barth. "Come on, get in! The boss wants to meet you!" You drive around the island for half an hour. Everything is incredibly beautiful! A gate opens in front of you at the end of a dead-end street. And your buddy steers the car through a tropical park. He parks the car in front of a palace, grins at you, says "Not bad, huh" and tells you to follow him. You walk through the house for what feels like a kilometer. There is a pleasant coolness here. Your buddy knocks on a door, waits a moment and opens it. A wave of autotity hits you. The whole room literally reeks with authority. You almost feel like falling to your knees and kissing the man's hand. "This is the boy from Paris?" Your buddy nods mutely. "Good job," says your boss. And extends his hand to you. With a dry mouth you say that you would do anything for him. He laughs and says that for now you should enjoy the island for a few days. And with a twitch of the corner of his mouth, he tells you that you can say goodbye.

You had hoped a little that you would be allowed to stay in the palace. But your buddy runs back to the jeep. And drives with you to a far less pompous house. But the beach is close. Your room is spacious. Your closet is well sorted. And you have a few days off on the island of the rich and beautiful.

03:30 the next morning. Message from the boss. Have you ever been to Abu Dhabi? Be at the airport in an hour!

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #male transformation #muscle transformation #age reduction

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

Text

warm-ups | sfw + kunigami + sofa

✭ tags ; implied nsfw at the end, coming home / re-uniting, established relationship, gn!reader 18+ | ✭ wc ; 1.4k (?????)

✭ a/n ; me when the random prompt generator gives me a random prompt and i have no clue how to execute on it. never written him before ever so Sorry

Kunigami thinks he should get to fight an airline service at least once in his life.

It'd be one thing if this incident was something happened once in a while. National traveling is already a pain in his ass thanks to customs. He's doing it so constantly - he's used to the strain. Waking up early, packing his things neatly, going through a million checks.

If he were a less ethical person, he'd take a page out of other pro's book and just get a jet for himself because frankly he's fucking sick of it.

This is the longest he's been completely out of the country before in his life. He's been gone for around 6 months now, training with the Brazilian National Team. It was a reward experiencing he'll admit, despite kicking his ass nearly everyday. He made good friends and the people were welcoming- someday he'll make plans to go visit with you.

But he's homesick beyond reasonable doubt. He misses his family dog. He misses Japan.

Most of all, Kunigami misses you.

He really considered not leaving because the idea of long distance didn't sit right with him. You (being the unfortunately considerate lover) you are encouraged him to go. He's thankful you support his dreams. You even surprised him with a visit because it fell on his birthday.

Which was thoughtful and he was so glad to see you but not helpful in quelling the ache of your absence.

Kunigami Rensuke loves you habitually. Maybe that's just how he operates (how he has after becoming a wildcard, that persists into his pro-career) but there's something about it that he never fails to act on. No amount of calling or texting has been able to scratch the itch, the need to love you.

You've been dating for the better part of three years and your anniversary is a few months away. Kunigami wants to marry you but he has to make more money first so he's been hustling.

(Not that you care about stuff like that. But as a pro and a man with pride, he's not really comfortable giving you any less)

It's a typical story for a lot of athletes but you were there before all the fame and publicity. You put up with all of it, all of his dedication and all of his frustrated feelings. Soothed him with gentle hands and a warm meal and a house that felt lived in.

To say Kunigami is grateful is understatement of the century. More accurately, Kunigami can't be without you too long. His life feels incomplete if you're not next to him. He's gotten heat for being soft but he doesn't care.

A wild card, a soccer hero - Kunigami has a lot of self-imposed expectations. But you? Not once have you ever made him feel bad about any of it. In a career where nothing is guaranteed, Kunigami is assured by your love. It makes him want to work harder.

You, of course, are nowhere near as clingy as he is. People often joke that you've got him wrapped around your finger. You laugh and disagree but Kunigami knows it to be true. Anything and everything, Kunigami wants to give you the world.

So six months has been a nightmare. Frankly, he never wants to do it again. His mood is infinitely worsened now because of all the delays. You have a tight schedule and you're not going to be able to come see him because of it.

So he's seething a little, despite it all. He really wants to make it someones problem because he misses you just that much. But alas, he already knows he shouldn't. He can practically hear your voice already.

("A day isn't gonna kill you, Rensuke.")

But it really feels like it will. He's moping the whole way home, even as his driver drops him off at his apartment - Kunigami doesn't feel like his life will start again until he sees you.

So, unlocking his door and coming into his abandoned apartment feels unceremonious at best. His first reaction is that something is a little off when he enters.

There's a noise coming from the living room and everything smells good. The house smells like linen, more precisely. His first reaction is that there's someone who broke in.

But upon entering further, traces of you start to appear like magic. Your coat on a hanger in the closet, your shoes on the rack and your house slippers missing. He doesn't want to get his hopes up, so he holds his breath as he walks into the living room.

Like some kind of miracle, Kunigami finds you asleep on his old beat up sofa. Now the new one, but the one he's had since he's first apartment. You're cozy in it too, hidden under a pile of blankets and wearing his stolen clothes.

The T.V. is playing an old comedy movie and there's a glass of water and all your things next to you. He's so happy for a minute, he really doesn't know if he should wake you up. Picking you up and plopping you into bed with him (maybe trap you there for a while) seems best.

But you stir awake before he even has a chance, eyes blinking up at him blearily, muffled under the covers.

"Rensuke?" You say, yawning aloud "That you? Or am I seeing things?"

What does he even do with his feelings?

"Not seeing things. I'm home."

You laugh pleasantly, sitting up rubbing your eyes. Your socks are pulled up to different degrees. Kunigami wants to marry you immediately.

"You're home," You say, happy with it as you open your arms up dramatically - inviting him in "Welcome home,"

It takes every ounce of restraint not to tackle you as he drops his bags on the floor and kneels between your legs to hug you. You're warm and soft, and Kunigami has missed you so much it's inhuman and cruel.

You let him nuzzle into the crook of his neck, palms soothing on the nape of his neck as you rub your cheek against his hair.

"How was the flight?"

"Pretty shit but it doesn't even matter," He says back, pulling away to really look at you "Doesn't matter at all,"

"You missed me that much?" You tease. He laughs out loud.

"Don't do that to me," He says, unable to stop smiling "You know the answer to that. I thought you couldn't come see me?"

"My boss' son is a huge fan of you, would you believe?" You say, yawning a bit as you lean forward to press your forehead to his "So I promised him a signature. He gave me 3 whole days off."

Kunigami laughs.

"Are you serious?"

"So serious. I thought it'd be better to surprise you at home. If I did it in the airport the paparazzi was gonna get pictures of you losing your marbles,"

He laughs at that, cradling your face in his palms.

"Yeah. Pretty sure I woulda tackled you,"

"You would've knocked me unconscious. You're so big,"

"You think I got a little bigger?" He prods. You laugh and Kunigami thinks it's his favorite sound in the world.

"Fishing for compliments five minutes in? Really? You did get bigger, your arms feel good. Very much wanna get crushed in them, so good work?" You say, squeezing his bicep. He grins.

"And the rest of me?"

"Guess I'll find out about your core 'n legs in a bit, huh?"

Kunigami laughs at that, the stupid wiggle of your eyebrows and the warmth of your body. He feels fucking giddy, in a stupid way since he's a grown ass man. But who cares, really? His life is good. He's never been so happy.

You make room on the couch for him and Kunigami hurries to join you - taking his shirt off and leaving him in his briefs before you climb to lay on top of him. You hug his chest.

"I got 20 minutes before I can't hold it in," He replies, his hands around your waist.

"Maybe I should stretch or something."

"I can help you with that," He offers.

You laugh, pressing a kiss to his mouth.

"No you can't, you fiend. Give me 20 minutes of cuddling before you render me useless to walk without assistance,"

He feels blood rush to a place it shouldn't go.

"Might have to cut it to 15,"

You laugh and hit his chest and Kunigami squeezes you even tighter. He loves you more than anything else in the world.

#warm-ups #sorry if this is so ooc i literally have no clue how to write him #kunigami x reader #bluelock x reader #writing tag #kunigami fluff #bluelock fluff

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ashisgreedy · 1 year

Text

Garreth's Gareer AU HCs

Written By @finalgirllx and @greedyforgarreth simultaneously.

Headcannon's of Garreth Weasley in different careers!

(These start out serious but we became delirious over time writing this. They devolve into… well, you will see.)

This was not edited. Cheers!

Baker

"Weasley's Confections"

He comes home smelling like sugar every day

He always has flour or frosting in his hair

He'd always bring home a sweet for you

He'd write your names on the little sweets

He's always brainstorming new cake-decorating ideas

He'd always try out new flavor combinations, leading to a very messy kitchen!

He has his own frosting line

during the holidays he has you come and assist him in helping customers in his little shop

During Christmas, you and he dress up as Mr. and Mrs. Claus to decorate cookies with kids

He holds a cake-baking class every once in a while for the community

Chef

He’s a personal caterer, with a small team

He puts on a little show as he cooks for small parties

He has signature dishes he makes that are unique to his catering business

He definitely has a roster of corny jokes for the occasion

His favorite clients are small bachelorette parties and groups of older ladies because he loves how energetic they are and they laugh at his corny jokes.

Unbuttons his chefs coat throughout the evening for bachelorette parties

“I'm having a pasta-tively great time”

He would have a volunteer come up for silly demonstrations - how to crack an egg

He hosts his own booth at food festivals to help market is personal business

Zookeeper

Robert Irwin vibes - Always educating people on animals

He loves helping with the petting zoos!

Passionate about preservation of the species and holds educational classes for nearby schools.

His favorite animal would be an iguana

He definitely gives away stuffed animals from the gift shop!

Wears a khaki uniform at all times in the zoo

When he’s not in that - he’s in animal patterns and Hawaiian shirts.

As a side hobby, he surfs to raise money for ocean animals

He’d definitely buy environmentally friendly items at all times

Airline pilot

Mile high club a million times

Has dated all the stewardesses

Has a mask kink.

Falls asleep almost immediately after the plane takes off

“GARRETH! THE PLANE HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER!”

Yoga Instructor

Holds instructional classes for business people during their lunch hour.

He’s insanely flexible, and shows it off

Knows his butt gets a lot of attendees

He wears silly headbands

Specializes in Hot Yoga classes

Would have the corniest playlist

His best friend Leander is the Zumba instructor

He also teaches the occasional water aerobics

Takes his yoga knowledge into the bedroom

Wedding planner (morally corrupt)

Really pays attention to the needs of the fiancees…wink

Makes sure to attach his personal cell phone..wink

“Does he know what colors you’d like for the wedding? Or does he not listen to you as well as I could…” wink

Turns cake tasting erotic, feeding the fiancee a cake bite in front of her fiance… wink

He helps put the garter on the bride, slowly… wink

He offers you private dance lessons before the big day…wink

Ruins your dress before the husband gets the chance…wink

Shows you the ring he would have gotten for you instead (It’s much better).

Actually listens to you (unlike your fiance)...wink

Firefighter

You met when he carried you out of a burning building..sexily

He saves your kitten and gives it an oxygen mask until it’s lively again.

He pushes you out of the way of a falling burning ceiling

He lets you wear his helmet to calm you down. (He tells you how silly you look and it helps)

He single-handedly prevented a train collision and explosion in the center of the city

Sexy arms, covered in soot, and he takes off his jacket and you lick him up

He’s the one that carries the massive axe that busts through walls.

"Is this the firehouse? Because you've got me feeling the heat."

Him sliding down the pole during an emergency *Eyes emoji*

Massage therapist

His massages take ages because he makes sure to work out EVERY knot you have before you get off his table.

“Oh my dear, you sure are a little tense, aren’t you? Let’s fix that.”

Love the hot rocks, “ooh, a little hot” whenever he uses them

He gives all kinds of facials for his dedicated clients

If you get really, really horny during the massage, he says he’ll give you a “happy ending” but really it's just a clap of his hands and a smile.

He plays “Happy” by Pharell Williams at the end of every massage

Sometimes he’ll offer a bonus technique where he steps on the client

His spa music is just hip hop and rap songs turned into gentle melodies.

Detective

The clue is in your panties~

If you’re a threesome, he and the other suggest “split up and look for clues” aka your holes.

When he’s feeling goofy he’ll bring a magnifying glass to your pussy. “I don’t need this, I already know where the clit is!”

The hat stays on during sex.

Handcuffs. Nuff said.

He makes the outline of a body on the floor with painters tape and fucks you in that position.

He asks you questions during sex like “Where were you at 11:34 PM Monday evening?” “Do you have an alibi?” “What crimes have you committed?” “Can you please state your full name and contact information?” “Your childhood street address?”

He makes you hold his badge up to him during sex.

He smokes his cigar after.

Lifeguard

Diving into that… wink.

Speedos all day, every day.

He is super happy to carry a whistle with him all day.

He would’ve saved Ash that one time.

He wouldn’t have let finalgirllx fall into that lake on her bike.

He smells like coconut from the sunscreen

Sand *everywhere* “Got some sandy buttcheeks there!”

When he runs, his pecs bounce.

Really enjoys the maritime accuracy of Spongebob Squarepants

Very proud of his CPR certification.

Driving instructor

Bends you over the seat and fucks you to make sure the leather of the seat cushion is durable.

Makes you sit on his lap and it causes the horn to honk. He doesn’t mind <3

“I wanna ride.”

Pretends to honk the horn, but really he’s just squeezing your breasts.

Fingers you while you parallel park to make sure you really know what you're doing.

“Red means stop, green means go.” But this is your safe word instead.

Is very passionate about turn signals and will yell at you if you forget to use it. Drivers safety biotch

"Do you believe in love at first drive, or should I take you for another spin?"

Kindergarten teacher

Fucks all the single moms.

He is excellent with kids and really enjoys providing them a foundation for a bright future ahead of them.

Has a breaking and entering kink.

His favorite craft to do with the children is making flowers out of tissue paper. He loves seeing the look on the parent's faces when they gift it.

Has a mask kink.

“Baby Shark” is banned from the classroom.

Enjoys macaroni art.

He has a talking stick that he’s very strict about using.

Loves having the students draw him and he puts every single one on the walls of the classroom.

Meteorologist

There are lots of memes of him online.

“It’ll be wet out this evening, and I’m not just talking about you, ladies.” Gets fired immediately

Becomes an at home meteorologist that says suggestive things about the news on his lives.

More popular than any news station in the entire world.

Part times as a camboy. Uses the same channel.

Sticks his ass out a bit when he points to the green screen. That he somehow has one at his house.

Instagram polls asking what he should wear during his next live.

“It’s gonna be cold, ladies! Don’t wear your bras!” …wink

His camboy name is “Weather Boy” and he makes people call him that professionally as well.

The front of his business card is for meteorology and the back is his camboy persona.

Musician

Very good with his fingers.

The Weasley Wigouts - his band name!

Picks a new genre for every album, he likes to switch it up. Makes for some very confusing tours.

Tongue piercing.

Has a tramp stamp tattoo on his lower back of Professor Sharp.

Got his start on Soundcloud.

Calls his fangirls his “Weasley Sluts!”

Orders Subway for lunch for the band every day.

Grew his hair out longer so he can headbang with it, even during soft songs.

Manbun Garreth era!

Science teacher

Really looks up to Bill Nye.

Wears a lab coat everywhere.

Always flirts with the math teachers.

Loves the volcano experiments more than anything.

He gets wayyyy too hyped about the science fair. “It’s next week! Don’t forget!” and the students groan.

Always has granola bars and hot chocolate stocked in case any student is hungry.

Never sends any of his students to detention. He takes them aside and just says “Come on, man…”

When teaching a chapter on biology and reproduction, he yells at the students to “AVERT YOUR EYES!” and dramatically covers his own.

"What did the biologist wear to impress their date? Designer genes!"

Has a tattoo on his chest that says “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

Voice over artist

Gets his start in English dubs of hentai.

He has a small role as an NPC in Hogwarts Legacy. Guess who!

Loves voice acting for the Elder Scrolls series.

Will do raps for his fans on live, as much as 15 songs.

Can sing and has a small youtube video with cover songs he loves.

His most popular cover is of “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” by Fall Out Boy.

Treats BookTok to sexy ASMR from time to time.

Florist

Knows all the meanings to all the flowers in his shop.

Wants to fuck you on a flower bed.

Really loves blue flowers (I don’t know the names of flowers).

He obsesses over flower arrangements and makes them look perfect!

Always has dirt on his face and under his nails.

"If kisses were petals, I'd give you a garden."

Has a mask kink.

Will arrange all of the flowers for his own wedding.

Loves to roleplay as Ghostface with his partner.

Always smells fantastic.

Likes to put a flower behind his ear when he’s working.

#garreth weasley #hogwarts legacy #Do we apologize? no #we were in a google doc and just went to town lol!#we were completely sober making this if you can believe it 💀

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seat-safety-switch · 2 years

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For years, I’ve been fascinated by magnetism. You can just get these special rocks and click them together and then a whole bunch of free energy comes out. It’s free! And you probably get way, way too much. Wait, it’s not magnetism? Hoo boy this is going to be hard to explain to the condo board.

In recent years, the Japanese have leveraged the principles of magnetism to make a train that goes really fast. Like, really fast. Six hundred and three kilometers an hour fast, also known as “eat shit, passenger airliners.” It turns out that the big downer for trains is friction, and if you can instead hover the train above the tracks with magnets, you can shoot that thing like a railgun and nobody can stop you.

Further, the Japanese rail folks swear up and down that you can ride this train, right now, if you show up at the one station it goes to, and pay a bunch of money, and then win a sort of mini-lottery to be allowed to board it. And the weather co-operates. It’ll be ready by 2027, they explain quickly and then distract you from your questions by showing you some footage of them driving the fucking thing so hard that it has to be sprayed down constantly with water just so the air around it doesn’t spontaneously combust out of jealousy.

One of the things they had to solve is the tunnel boom effect. When you go through a tunnel as fast as this fucking thing does, the air you displace pops out on either side of you and out the back of the tunnel like a gunshot. A lot of complicated aerodynamics is required so that the train doesn’t fall off the “tracks” that it hovers over, and they celebrated solving this problem by making it go even faster. The resulting sonic boom is so loud and so dramatic that some farmers were complaining it would make their nearby cows explode. So they decided to go into the tunnels slower, more politely. That’s not how I’d do things. I’d turn it up even more out of spite. Clearly their boss has been feeling a lot of heat (or maybe a lot of meat) from Big Beef.

All this is to say: magnets! They’re great. In fact, they’re so great, that I’ve decided to leverage this exciting new technology in my own transportation. Namely, I bought a bunch of those cool welding magnets from Princess Auto and are using them to hold the driver’s door onto my Volare, rather than fix the hinges. It doesn’t even rattle as bad as it used to! Truly the wave of the future.

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aerbiscuit · 7 months

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Has anyone else seen those pictures of the proposed double-decker airplane seats? I swear that they're just a few design tweaks away from being perfect for fart-fetish scenarios. Like, the airlines are already thinking up stuff like to this to plan for cheaper economy seating. In fart fetish land, I can see an even CHEAPER airline making the upper seat have less of a "barrier" between the face of the person in the lower seat, all in the name of saving money.

I can't help but imagine someone who needs to get somewhere last-minute, so they book one of the last, cheapest tickets on the cheapest flight available, which is unfortunately the lower half of a new, cheap double-decker seat. It's only when the person above them takes a seat that this traveler realizes that this flight really skimped out on reinforcing the upper seats: they can even see the back of the upper person's jeans through gaps in the chair.

And right in the middle of leaning forward to observe just how much of the other traveler's ass our protagonist can see, the upper traveler lets out the first of many strong farts, which easily slip through the gaps of the chair and onto the helpless person below.

This is going to be a long flight.

(God do I want to write a full story about this but I just DON'T have the time)

#eprocto #eproctophilia #fart kink #farting #oni thoughts

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uniquexusposts · 5 months

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Her || Charles Leclerc

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fan fiction, fluff Story type: novel Part: 4/? Word count: 2379 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 2: From Friends to Rivals

Matilde found herself in unfamiliar territory as she sat on a relaxing stool in the airport lounge of the airline she was flying with today. It was the first time she sat in an airport lounge - a lounge for business class, because usually she flew economy as that was all she could pay for. And since she wasn't a 'Head' of a department, or someone that important, she flew economy with her team. And now as team principal, she sat in a lounge, between people with money and probably a status. Nevertheless, her flight was delayed. Whether you sit in a lounge or at the gate, the impatience level feels the same.

A teasing remark snapped her out of her contemplation. "You won't make friends with that look on your face, ey."

The new team principal looked up and she was greeted by her best friend and ex-colleague. With a playful response, Matilde countered: "It's a good thing that I am not waiting to make any new friends," Matilde replied and sat up. "Hello, darling."

Gemma sat down on the stool in front of her. "Finally," she breathed, the weight of the past three weeks hearable in her words. "What a week, well, three weeks; testing, racing, everything." She looked next to her and saw two people joining them by sitting down at the two seats next to them.

"Hello," GP smiled, Max Verstappen's race engineer.

"Hey, hey," Hannah chimed in and sat down, she was the Head of Strategy.

Matilde looked at her former colleagues, now rivals. A smile grew on her face. "Now I finally get to experience how it feels to be important," she teased. "You get fancy shit."

"Do you know how extremely hard we work?" Gemma replied with a mock-offended expression on her face.

GP smirked. "All you get to do is listen to Max during interviews," he said to Gemma.

A collective laughter enveloped them. As the amusement settled, Matilde added her own remark. "Oh, right, and the husband has the toughest job ever here." She looked at GP.

They all laughed.

"But Matt, let's debrief. Tell me about your week." Hannah's tone shifted, steering the conversation toward a more serious topic.

Matilde's expression took on a thoughtful cast, the weight of her new role evident in her gaze. "It has been a rollercoaster," she began, a note of exhaustion and determination in her voice. "And I am still on it." She looked at them one by one, figuring out if she could speak out loud about her thoughts. These three people were close to her during her time at Red Bull. Matilde joined Red Bull at the same time as GP, she was Hannah's right hand and Gemma became a really close friend. "Honestly, I have more respect for Christian now. It's only been a week, but I have no idea what I'm doing or what has happened."

"Why?" Gemma asked.

"I still have to process everything." Matilde took a deep breath. "I got here and I became Kim Kardashian."

"Yeah, of course. Binotto gets sacked and a day later you're here," Hannah remarked with a hint of playful scepticism.

"What's up with that?" GP curiously asked.

Matilde pressed the corners of her mouth down and threw her hands up in the air. "I don't know. Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are. I mean, the deal was as good as done, but I was expected to start after the summer break. That's why I stepped down last year after Zandvoort, because I was already talking with Ferrari. But it's quite a red flag, isn't it? The fact that they let him do testing..."

"What do you expect from Ferrari?" Gemma said, adding a note of realism in her tone. "The team's as red as their livery."

GP looked disapproving at Gemma. "Don't let her regret making this decision, Gemma," he said.

"A new clown entered the circus. I hope I can keep up the act," Matilde blurted. "And stay for longer, make some changes, understand the deeper issues of this team and their philosophy, perhaps win some races. No, but I can't really say what I think of it yet, I still have to process everything, but so far, it's overwhelming and busy and nice."

GP took a sip of his cappuccino. "Woman is still in shock. And the team?"

"Tough crowd," she answered. "Exactly how I expected them to be. Stubborn, old-fashioned, but they're kind so far. It's different from Red Bull, with different people and team spirit."

"And Leclerc and Sainz?" Hannah asked.

"Can't really tell yet, honestly. They were both quite distant, Leclerc more than Sainz. But it's the first week, I don't know. I can't make assumptions already." Matilde took a deep breath. "But I don't have the same vibes, yet, as I had with Max and Checo - I can't really compare them with each other, but it feels like I have to earn Leclerc and Sainz's respect first."

Her friends exchanged knowing glances, understanding the feelings Matilde was experiencing.

"It's the first impression that counts the most," GP said, adding his perspective. "But like what?"

Matilde paused for a moment. Could she share this? But on the other hand, the race had passed and they had gathered the data already. And they spoke as equals rather than competitors. "I know the strategy is not my job anymore, I have a team for that. I can have an opinion on it and I have to keep it to myself, but..." Matilde let out a groan of frustration.

"Let me guess, you had a strategy in your mind and they didn't want to use it?" Hannah asked.

Matilde pressed her lips into a thin. "The jokes we made about the strategy at Ferrari?" She let out a breath. "Exactly that."

"Oh, boy," Gemma mumbled.

"Let's say there may be a reason why we didn't make it on the podium," Matilde replied and put on a professional smile. "I am not used to leading a team yet, I still have that team player inside me and I want to stir during the briefings, but I have other things to do."

Gemma grinned. "What was your strategy?"

Matilde only looked at her, not saying a word.

"Softs, 15, softs, 35, hards," Hannah filled in. "And what did you do?"

"Sainz had softs, 13, hards, 31, hards. Leclerc had softs, 13, hards, 33, hards," Matilde explained. "The result? Fourth and fifth position. It worked, I'm not denying that. I don't want to say this, but I'm convinced that if we used the strategy I proposed, we would have been in a fight with you. We could have pushed harder." Matilde shrugged. "But fine, first race, new team, new team principal. It's fine for now."

GP nodded in agreement. "But hey, don't be harsh on yourself. You managed to get points. It was almost a podium."

Her response was candid, her aspirations were set high. "It could have been a podium."

GP smiled. 'Look at you, there's that winning mentality.'

Matilde smiled as well and blushed a little bit.

"Your first times are always a bummer, they always suck. You can be satisfied, you didn't get a DNF for one or both cars," Gemma said. "All right, work aside. Are you going to the UK or Italy actually?" She turned the conversation towards her travel plans.

"Italy. My dad and brothers moved everything from Northampton to Modena. So I'm curious to see where I will end up, to see what Ferrari managed to get."

Gemma smirked. "Did you ask them to find you a place? Team principal commands at its finest."

"Gotta make use of my position now," Matilde replied playfully. "No, they offered to help me find a place. I was like: sure, you do you. I haven't seen any of it yet. I only know Italy as a holiday destination, not as a living situation."

The conversation continued, blurring the lines between their professional analyses and friendly banter. Matilde asked about their weekend and they talked about multiple situations within the Red Bull team.

Time, however, was slipping away. Matilde looked at her watch and sighed. "As much as I love spending time with you, my flight won't wait forever."

Gemma raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her lips. "Well, well, look at her. Our very own high-flying team principal on a tight schedule."

Matilde rolled her eyes with a chuckle.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want the mighty team principal to be late for her flight. Wouldn't want the plane to take off without her," GP chimed in.

"Hilarious, guys."

Hannah smiled. "We're just one garage away. You know where to find us," she amusingly smiled.

With a final exchange of smiles and hugs, Matilde turned and walked toward the exit of the lounge. She made her way to her gate and stepped on the plane, leaving the first weekend behind in Bahrain.

* * *

As the taxi navigated the surroundings of Emilia-Romagna, Matilde gazed out of the window, inspecting and observing the scenery that would now be her daily backdrop. She was tired. The flight from Bahrain was long; the time went slow. Since it was a day flight, she barely slept. She had a stop in Istanbul, but luckily she still made it to the planned flight to Bologna. It was almost evening, meaning she could jump into her bed once she got to her new place.

Seated comfortably in the backseat, Matilde pulled out her phone. As the taxi continued its journey, she navigated through various news articles and opinion pieces that were written about the Bahrain Grand Prix. She was no stranger to the media within the world, having spent years in the world and she got used to it, but this time it was different. The headlines were about her - Matilde Jørgensen, the new face of Scuderia Ferrari.

She read the articles with a mixture of curiosity and determination. The critics had their say about her, like they had about everyone on the grid, but this time, it was her. And only her. They were curious to see how a relatively young woman would handle the pressure at Ferrari and how she would lead the team without the knowledge of being a team principal. They spoke about her welcome, her decisions so far, the strategy choices and the team management during her first race weekend. Some praised her audacity to step into such a high-pressure role, while others (the most) questioned her lack of experience as a team principal. The highs and lows of the race weekend were analysed in black and white by experts and wannabes.

Matilde's lips pressed into a thin line as she read through the critics. She finally understood why famous people never read things about themselves, and she was only a team principal. Each word was a reminder of the immense responsibilities she had undertaken. She might be new to this role, but she was ready to learn, fail, adapt and prove herself.

Her attention alternated between the articles and the passing scenery. She had entered the city, her new home. With a final glance at her phone, she set it aside. Matilde was ready to take in her new city. But one sentence kept on repeating itself in her mind:

"Jørgensen is too present during the race."

The criticisms would always be there, people always had an opinion on something, no matter what or who you were.

As the taxi finally pulled into Matilde's street, her heart quickened. The taxi slowed and she took a deep breath as the taxi stopped. The driver told her that they arrived. Matilde paid for his services and got out of the car, being welcomed by the Italian air. The driver got her suitcase from the truck and gave it to the woman. Matilde thanked him once again.

She stood before the entrance of her new apartment building. Her gaze traced the building; the building had a timeless charm over it, a blend of classic Italian design and modern functionality. She walked to the front door and pressed on the bell of her apartment: number 6.

"Ja?"

"Det er mig: Matilde," she smiled, saying it was her, since her family was already at her new place.

"Oh, Tilly! Kom snart ind," her dad happily said, saying she had to enter the building quickly.

With a smile on her face, she entered the building. The entrance was roomy and just beautiful. She was welcomed with the scent of aged wood and fresh flowers. The lobby was a graceful fusion of traditional elements and contemporary aesthetics. It was like she had entered her Pinterest board. She walked up the stairs to her apartment on the third floor.

"Velkommen hjem," her dad welcomed Matilde home as she entered her place.

A warm feeling entered her body when she heard the Danish language. "Dad," she happily said and flew into his arms.

The reunion started when Matilde's two brothers appeared in the living room as well. Lars and Jens were happy to see their little sister, especially after this week, they were extremely proud. Viggo was a proud father too, of course. Matilde asked about how they moved her household from the UK to Italy.

"That's a worry for later," Lars smiled. "Go explore your new house."

Jens proudly smiled. "We tried to style it, and you can change it later, obviously, but this is what we thought was cool."

"Oh, it's amazing, guys. You are angels. How can I thank you?" Matilde placed her hands on her cheeks and didn't know where to look.

"By giving us paddock passes," Jens widely smiled.

Lars looked playfully, but disapprovingly at Jens. "Too early, dude."

Matilde hit Jens on his chest and rolled her eyes, shaking her head afterwards.

The apartment exuded a modern, yet classic and cosy ambience. It was weird to see her furniture standing in the space. She walked through her apartment and was surprised in every room she entered. It was a two-bedroom apartment, it wasn't big, but it was just her and she didn't need much space. The living room was small, but cosy; her couch just fitted in the space.

"This is amazing. Thank you so much. Wow." Matilde looked at her family. "It feels like we are on Buying Blind," she laughed, still perplexed on seeing her new apartment.

Next chapter

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runwayrunway · 1 year

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No. 50 - All Nippon Airways Airbus A380 "Flying Honu" Livery

Happy 50th Runway Runway post! I had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do for it - after all, it's a pretty significant number. I already sort of know what I want to do for the 100th post, but I hadn't put much thought into the 50th, and I had to scuttle any plans for something long and interesting after a rather stressful week. Instead I decided to do something both fun and requested!

source: ANA Stories

One (well, three!) of the most beloved special liveries out there, All Nippon Airways' turtle-themed "Flying Honu" Airbus A380. These three friendly giants fly from Japan to Honolulu, delighting anyone lucky enough to see them.

Actually, I love the Flying Honu so much I have one myself.

I would describe myself as a bit of a magpie. I collect useless things, be they historical ephemera, horror movie memorabilia, old books, pretty rocks, or way too many fountain pen inks given I mostly use them to take notes. I even have a bunch of my old teeth in a pillbox. Surprisingly, though, the things my talons have lodged in don't include many model airplanes. I have...a few. I've actually, though serendipity, gotten two more since I started this blog, expanding my collection to a startling five. Maybe seven if you count my Starscream and Brainstorm figures, but I don't think I even remember how to put either of them in their alt modes. The fact is that while they aren't a fortune or anything plane figures are expensive enough that it's a commitment to buy one, and I usually only do when I stumble on a good deal for a model I really want. And one of the few times I've actually decided that I just needed a model of a specific livery was the "Flying Honu" A380. Specifically, the one I have is the airframe registered JA382A, Kai. (She's the 1:500 JC Wings diecast model and is around the size of my hand.)

I just needed to be able to gently tap her nose in person, okay? She can't fit up on the shelf with a lot of my other miscellaneous trinkets so she sits on my desk and sometimes I explain things to her while trying to figure them out, like a coding rubber duck. She makes me happy.

All Nippon Airways (全日本空輸) is a major Japanese airline. In fact, in terms of both fleet size and number of destinations they're bigger than flag carrier JAL. They're consistently described as being among the best airlines in the world for the discerning well-to-do business traveler, and let's just say that's not me, but what I am is a reviewer of airline liveries, and ANA sure has those! In addition to their standard Triton Blue livery they do all sorts of special designs, particularly crossovers with properties like Pokémon and Star Wars. All of these are something I would like to someday feature, but none of them matter at all to me when compared to the Flying Honu, introduced with the A380 fleet in 2019.

A couple of times when I've told people I know about this livery they asked me if 'honu' is Japanese for 'turtle'. That's a reasonable question, but the Japanese word for turtle is 'kame'. 'Honu' is the word for turtle, though - in Hawaiian.

image: ANA

In fact, Honolulu is the A380s' only destination. ANA didn't really want A380s to begin with, but ended up stuck with them while acquiring another airline. The thing about the A380, and the reason it failed commercially and so few were ever built, is that the use-case for a massive plane is pretty limited. It goes as such: you have a passengerbase of people who have to travel from one giant hub that can land an A380 to another frequently enough that you can actually make money on a plane with four entire engines.

Okay, so the use-case is that you're Emirates. ANA might be expensive, but they don't really have the central location or sheer amount of regular business travelers that Dubai does. 'Three' also isn't really that many A380s, which creates a bit of a question of reliability. So instead they fixed the problem in a way that's honestly pretty genius: they made it turtles.

image: ANA

ANA seems to be generally invested in Hawaii, with a fair amount of partnerships with local organizations. A lot of Hawaiian real estate is owned by Japanese companies, and those of Japanese descent are the second-larget ethnic group in Hawaii at 16.7%, so it makes sense that a lot of people would want to travel there. Tokyo to Honolulu is a nice 9-hour flight with no possibility for a stopover of any kind (unless they invent civilian aircraft carriers for A380s), so it's the perfect route for precisely three really huge planes.

images: ANA

They can fit 520 passengers across four classes on one flight, seated across both decks of the massive planes. There is also a section of seats which convert to couches, marketed for families. Those who fly this route get to enjoy rainbow lighting and the ability to buy a duty-free 1:500 model of the plane (not the same model I have, though, I'm pretty sure) or a set of Flying Honu plushes.

Ra looks like she's plotting something. Lani looks like she's never had a single thought in her life.

And they do make money off this, because people absolutely love these planes. People have apparently had their weddings on these planes, and I would too! They make ten weekly flights right now, but in December that will be increasing to fourteen weekly, or two daily.

Okay, so, the actual liveries.

Here's Kai in full-size! The light in my room make her look way cooler toned in the photographs, but in real life she's this color. It's frequently described as 'green' or 'emerald green', but I think it's definitely turquoise and would go so far as to call it blue. Whatever the case, it's meant to represent the color of the sea near Hawaii. Kai is also distinct from the others because of her eyes, which are closed as she smiles from ear to ear. That's why she's my favorite - she just looks so happy!

...a bit weirder looking from upfront, but look how even the ventral fairing is painted! That's part of the flippers where they curl around, tucked into the shell. Unlike the Transocean Air Jinbei Jets, the cockpit windows blend in with the 'scales' of the Flying Honu, looking rather natural.

'Ra' is a beautiful orange, meant to represent the Hawaiian sunset. She has a bit of a peach undertone if you look closely, but her details are done in an extremely vivid reddish orange. Her distinguishing feature are those gigantic eyelashes, similar to Sakura Jinbei's. The actual mouth shape on all three planes appears to be the same, but I find that the eyes still give them distinct 'personalities'. Ra has always looked very thoughtful to me.

Just look at her in flight! I've never understood why people call the 747 stately or graceful, and same for the A380 - double-decker planes are just inherently goofy-looking, and that's great, but ANA managed to make one look pretty elegant. I think it's because turtles are already regarded as large and slow creatures, so fitting like for like just makes it seem as natural for this absolutely gigantic aircraft to be flying as it is for a turtle to swim.

Finally, Lani, the turtle everyone agrees to be blue, represents the Hawaiian sky during its brightest color in daylight. If you look closely, you can see her blue 'eyeshadow', which I've always thought made her look relaxed.

This picture gives a good angle of my only real critique of the Flying Honu, which is that the shells and heads don't entirely look aligned, as if the head is in the process of being retracted. That said, I think that's just a fact of working with the shape of an airplane. There's just no more space below to fit any more shell.

Rather than being just one turtle, though, each "Flying Honu" has two fully rendered baby turtles following behind their 'mother'.

I think this is adorable, and beyond that it solves a crucial problem - the tail. Turtles do have those, but not in a way that maps onto a standard empennage. Instead, ANA makes the smart choice to end the shell at a certain point and add these two extra turtles make-way-for-ducklings-ing their way across the fuselage for more visual interest, leaving the tail empty for an ANA logo without making it jarring. This is a huge improvement over the Jinbei Jets, which again serve as a point of comparison as the other major Japanese marine life planes. (Amakusa Airlines is way smaller and thus not going to get caught up in this.)

I mean, it's hard to find too much to say about these that isn't just "oh my gosh, look at them". The Flying Honu are vividly colored, with clever shapes used to make them immediately recognizable as turtles. I smile every time I see one, including the little one on my desk!

And in case you weren't already delighted, there's two extra bonus turtles!

I think it's pretty obvious I'm giving these an A+. Come on, just...just look at them. The fact that ANA bothered to make three distinct ones with their own names and faces is just icing on the cake for me, but I do love that they did.

I can't believe I didn't find a way to fit this in earlier into the post, but I really love turtles. If you have an aquarium near you, and that aquarium has turtles, I really recommend stopping by to see them. My local New England Aquarium has had Myrtle for more than 50 years. As they describe her, 'the 550-lb Queen of the Giant Ocean Tank is large, in charge, and ready to receive your adoration'.

youtube

True to form, although a lot larger and dealing in a different type of fluid dynamics, the Flying Honu jets get plenty of my adoration too.

#tarmac fashion week #grade: a+#era: 2010s #era: 2020s #all nippon airways #aquairium #region: east asia #region: japan

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cordonianroyalairlines · 1 year

Text

Turbulence

Series: Cordonian Royal Airlines

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: Various

Pairing for this chapter: Riley x Drake

Word Count: 1,534

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: Language, sexual innuendo, and mature humor. Barley lemon scented.

A/N: See the series master list for a description of this series.

Also, this is a submission for @choicesprompts Smutember prompt event: We shouldn't be doing this....

“So, what’s up with you and Riley?”

“What do you mean?”

Captain Liam Rys turned to regard his first officer with a raised eyebrow, “What do you mean what do I mean? You two have been dancing around each other since the day she started working here.”

“Exactly,” Drake shook his head, “She works here. I don’t shit where I eat, Li, you know that.”

“Uh huh…” Liam replied dubiously as he returned his attention to the instrument panel and requested permission to take off.

Out in the cabin, flight attendant Riley Brooks was instructing the passengers of Cordonian Royal Airlines Flight 628 to put their seat backs in the upright position and fasten their seatbelts.

Maxwell shuffled up and down the aisle helping people stow their carry-ons in the overhead compartments.

As they buckled themselves into the jump seats, Maxwell lowered his voice so the passengers wouldn’t overhear, “So has he asked you out yet or what?”

“Who?”

“Come on, Ri. You know who. First Officer McSteamy!”

“Please,” she huffed, “That uptight, pig-headed, annoying asshole?”

“That’s the one,” he smirked, “I saw him checking you out when we boarded.”

“Really?” She perked up.

“Really,” Max supplied, “Not that you’re interested….”

“Of course not,” she slid her eyes sidewise at him, “But like how was he checking me out? Like oh, she’s cute or like, you know…”

“Oh, definitely you know!”

“Hm,” Riley leaned back in her seat, her eyes scanning the cabin for any signs of issues she needed to attend to as a slight smile played across her lips.

An hour into the flight, Max was dealing with an overbearing guest.

Riley scooted over to help, recognizing him, “Be nice,” she whispered to Max, “He’s a regular.”

“Yeah, a regular pain in the ass!” Max grunted a little too loudly.

“How dare you!” The man turned beet red, “I demand to speak to the captain!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but that won’t be possible, we don’t-“

“Actually,” Riley interrupted him, “For you, Mr. Lambros, I think we can make an exception!”

“We can?” Max turned to her in astonishment.

“Thank you, my dear,” the annoying passenger gloated, “and you can call me Tariq.” He shot a withering look at Max, “You can’t.”

“Whatever,” Max huffed under his breath as Riley pulled him down the aisle.

Once out of Tariq’s hearing, she hissed in his ear, “I’m going to send Liam out here and you’re going to make sure he stays out here for like, five minutes, okay?”

“Why, Riley? Why would-“ his eyes widened, “Oh! You want a minute alone with Drake! Wait, only five?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, I’m not fucking him in the cockpit! I just want a few minutes alone for a…conversation.”

“Yeah, right,” Max laughed as he shooed her toward the cockpit door, “Go on then, have your conversation…”

She shook her head as she made her way to the cockpit, pausing outside the door to adjust her clothing and run her fingers through her hair. She pushed the door open, “Captain?”

Liam looked over his shoulder, “I told you, call me Liam. What is it, Riley?”

“We have a disgruntled passenger who’s demanding to speak to you.”

“You know we don’t normally-“

“I know, but it’s Mr. Lambros and you know how he gets…”

Liam heaved a deep sigh. Tariq and his company spent an ungodly amount of money on flights, and they couldn’t afford to lose his business, “Okay, fine.” He flipped a few switches quickly and then stood.

He paused to officially pass control of the flight deck over, “You have the flight controls.”

“I have the flight controls,” Drake answered.

Liam nodded at Riley on his way out the door. She smiled at him but didn’t move.

Dake glanced up at her, “Can I help you with something else?”

“Yes,” she took Liam’s seat, “You can tell me why you run so hot and cold.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Listen, Riley, I like you but-“

“Oh, you like me? Like a friend?”

“Yes, I’m on friendly terms with the entire crew-“

She snorted, “You’re not friendly with anyone, Drake!”

“I…what?” He wanted to be annoyed but inexplicably, it bothered him that she thought he wasn’t friendly.

“I mean it’s pretty common knowledge that you can be a dick.”

He turned in his chair to face her incredulously, “I am not a dick!”

“Actions speak louder than words.”

“That’s…I’m not….since when-“

“It’s okay. I was just curious why you are sometimes uncharacteristically friendly with me, specifically, but if you don’t like me-“

“I never said I didn’t like you!” He snapped.

“And I told you…actions speak louder than-“

Her words were cut off as she found herself suddenly and firmly yanked across the divide between the two seats and into his arms. His lips crashed into hers with an intensity that took her breath away.

She leaned into him, returning the kiss for all she was worth. Her hands landed on his chest, his hands grasped her at the small of her back and tugged her closer.

“We shouldn’t be doing this…” he panted even as he drew her into his lap, his lips trailing down her neck, finding their way into the cleavage that peeked enticingly out from the form-fitting uniform that hugged her curves, setting them off to quite remarkable effect.

“You’re right,” she pulled away and stood up, “We shouldn’t be doing this. Wouldn’t want to ruin a perfectly good working relationship, now would we?”

“What?” his hands reached out for her, but she was already out of reach, “Riley, wait!”

“No, that’s okay, you’ve made your position quite clear.”

“That’s not what I-“

She paused at the door, throwing a smoldering look over her shoulder, “See you tonight at the hotel?”

“Yes…” he watched as she left, head spinning. What had she meant by ‘see you at the hotel’? Had she meant that in a general sense as in see you around? Or was it an invitation for something? And if so, what?

He only knew two things for sure. One, he didn’t date coworkers. It was a bad idea. Two, he was absolutely going to find her at the hotel tonight.

“Gah!” Why was she so goddamned frustrating? He slammed his head forward into the instrument panel. The plane immediately dropped altitude, diving toward the ground as the oxygen masks deployed in the cabin. “Oh, shit!” He frantically worked to right the plane as passengers screamed.

Out in the cabin, Liam had just gotten Tariq settled down and happy again. Max was on his way to serve the now mollified guest a bottle of their best wine when the plane jolted down and to the right with a loud thud. People slammed into walls, luggage poured from overhead compartments and Max tripped forward, grappling with the already-opened bottle as he tried to regain control. It was to no avail. He watched with horror as the bottle flew, in seeming slow motion, out of his hands and directly toward their most difficult customer.

Tariq’s eyes widened as the liquid sloshed out of the top of the bottle in midair, spewing wildly and covering him in outrageously expensive, vintage red wine. “You did that on purpose!” He screeched as he jumped out of his seat.

“Please remain seated and fasten your seatbelts!” Riley called from the front of the plane as she caught herself on the wall, “Just a little turbulence!”

Liam frantically tried to make his way back to the cockpit, but Tariq was blocking the aisle, demanding Max be fired while Max ineffectively wiped at the spreading stain with a cocktail napkin.

Tariq’s face had gone a deep shade of crimson, “Captain Liam, I demand that he be reprimanded!”

“Move you jackass!” Liam yelled as he shoved the man aside in desperation to make it back to the flight deck.

By the time Liam crashed through the cockpit door, the plane was righted, and Drake was on the intercom doing damage control, “Just a little unexpected turbulence. We apologize for the momentary roughness, but it should be clear skies and smooth sailing from here on out.”

“What the fuck was that?” Liam demanded as he retook his seat and started double-checking everything on the instrument panel, just to be sure.

“Turbulence,” Drake answered but he didn’t make eye contact and his face was red.

The door creaked open, and Riley stuck her head in, “Is everything okay in here? Drake was that because-“

“Everything is fine,” he yelled, “It was turbulence! Please return to your duty station crew member!”

Liam’s eyes flicked from Drake to Riley and back again. A broad smile spread across his face as Riley backed out of the cockpit, “Oh, I see. Turbulence….” Liam relaxed back into his seat; all his panic washed away as understanding settled over him.

“Shut up,” Drake still wasn’t looking at him.

“Turbulence never looked so good,” Liam chuckled as he updated the flight log and triple-checked the instrument panel.

Drake shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then glanced at his watch with a sigh. It was going to be a very long flight.

#cordonianroyalairlines #trr au #trr fanfic #liam rys #drake walker #riley brooks #maxwell beaumont

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gotham--fc · 4 months

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I mean yes but please expand

Okay this took me a while but the cba is 350 pages and I read that thing okay like I didn't skim it (okay I skimmed a lot of the numbers part bc the numbers mean dick to me) but I read it okay? Anyways here's all my thots, buckle up it's a long one, I'll put in under a readmore so you can just scroll past if you don't care

Non inclusive language (all players must be women, referring to players as ‘she’ ‘her’ etc, at least one out non binary player in the league, also no definition on what a woman is so afab? Trans women? Unclear)

Teams can only have 6 players with protected salaries (meaning teams still have to pay them if they get hurt or ill or cut etc) only vets can have protected salaries not rooks – rosters are 11-12 which means half the team can get cut without pay for any reason and lose their salary (this isn’t something that will ever be changed and probably is standard and/or better than other sports leagues but it is worth mentioning)

By agreeing upon provisions (to be set forth in Exhibit 3 to a Standard Player Contract) limiting or eliminating the player’s right to receive her Base Salary (in accordance with Sections 6(a)(i)(y) and 6(c) of this Article) when the player’s disability or unfitness to play skilled basketball is caused by the re-injury of one or more injuries sustained prior to, or by the aggravation of one or more conditions that existed prior to, the execution of the Standard Player Contract providing for such Base Salary – players that aggravate an old injury can get cut without pay and teams that sign players hurt can cut them without pay? this isn’t a problem for established players bc teams will deal with an injury prone player if they’re good enough when healthy, but it’s not good for rookies/unestablished players who won’t get the same grace

Players with less than 6 years experience can’t get trade bonuses from the team trading for them – kinda fucked up

Players base salaries not protected if they’re injured playing overseas, fine for top players bc teams won��t cut them and will pay for their rehab to get them back for wnba but for rooks/not established vets they get kinda fucked over also the fucked over players are the ones who need to play in Europe most bc they don’t make shit, like the players that this won’t affect make enough to not need to play in Europe if they really don’t want to

Max/min salaries should be determined by percentage of revenue, while salaries are better than they were and they go up each year they’re not connected to league revenue at all so league could make shit ton more money this year but players salaries next year won’t reflect that, also unclear where tf the numbers come from? Like how did they determine this is the salary cap # and this is how much it’ll increase like are these arbitrary numbers or is there logic behind them

Low salary cap = no roster space

Players given coach airline tickets from city they reside to city they play and back, and to cities they are traded to (it literally says coach even if teams wanted to give players better seats they cannot)

No airline ticket provided if travel is less than 200 miles (but travel still paid for but like bus/train/gas money)

All air travel provided by the Team (including, but not limited to, travel between games) will be, if available on the Team-chosen flights at the time of booking, premium economy (or similar enhanced coach fare) – no chartered flights hence why nyl was fined and why mercury can’t use their own plane, this is literally written in the cba that players agreed to who are now making a big stink about cathy hating to see a bad bitch winning when the bad bitches in question did this to themselves

Players are paid 25% of league revenue and 50% of incremental value. This is where it gets confusing for some ppl because they see 50% and assume it's 50% of total revenue. It's not. nba players for example make 50% of all league revenue, so if the nba makes hypothetically 600k in revenue then players get 300k. In the wnba on the other hand, if the league expects to make 500k then actually makes 600k, the players don't get 300k, they get 25% of 500k+50% of 100k, so that would be 125k+50k. It's significantly less revenue sharing than the nba has which is what the players have been fighting for, like Kelsey Plum said we don't want to be paid the same salaries as the nba we want the same percent of revenue.

Players required to attend media things, not a max number of things a season but whenever the team/league wants, a max number of things within certain number of days, but players really have no control over their media appearances for the team/league – why angel reese and Chicago sky fined, really takes away player freedom/autonomy and you know that certain players are going to do media more often bc they’re ‘big names’ meaning they do so much extra labour than their teammates (a’ja doing what seems like every aces press conference??), and it means a player can't back out of media if they're not up for it like if they're tired, hurt, physically or mentally not at 100% they can't say sorry coach not today or they and the team gets fined

“Player Attributes” means a player’s name, nickname, Picture, portrait, image, signature, voice or other identifiable attributes and, to the extent that she has rights therein, biographical data” league has rights to license any player attributes and players are not allowed to license their attributes, players cannot permit anyone other than the league to manufacture products bearing player attributes, and not allowed to appear promos or ads for any entity that is not a wnba sponsor or affiliate (so no individual sponsors with anyone not associated with the league) – this is probably a general thing in all leagues but it just feels icky

Must have minimum of 11 and max of 12 players on roster, nba has 14-15 roster – again this is salary cap related but even with the increasing salary cap teams can only have a max 12 players so even if the salary cap gets upped that doesn’t equal to more roster spots

Players aren’t allowed to strike, but teams aren’t allowed to lockout players – no lockout is good since it can be used to essentially force players into agreements that are league/team beneficial and teams/leagues can use lockouts to turn media and fans against players (mlb lockout where teams were like the players won’t play we’re willing to play but the players won’t in an attempt to villainize them and the players being like nah bro we’re ready to play they’re not ready to come to the table), but no strike… icky

Also this is not an issue I have with the cba I actually like it but "No Team shall make any direct or indirect payment of any money, property, investments, loans, or anything else of value to: (i) any basketball team not in the WNBA, or (ii) any other entity, organization, representative, or person, for the purpose of inducing a player to enter into a Player Contract or in connection with receiving the right to enter into a Player Contract." Actual quote from the cba I just want to bring up because this is why the wnba is investigating the aces 100k sponsorship bc they're essentially questioning if that money is actually coming from marky mark himself or if that money was used to incentivize players to sign contracts below market value anyways just wanted to point that out, I'm all for bagging on commissioners when they suck but in this case cathy isn't doing this bc she hates vegas she's doing this bc the aces might be breaking the cba

Anyways, that's all my thots on the cba, it's definitely better than it was and there's some good stuff in there that does help protect players, but there's also a lot that's icky and stuff that I'm disappointed to see the players agree to and I understand that players have to make concessions and compromise on stuff, but there's stuff in there (like having to be available for media, the chartered flights debacle, the aces sponsorship debacle) which has been causing a big stink that players and fans obviously have issues with which are written into the cba that players agreed to, so I think after 2027 (when this cba expires) that there's some things the players association needs to take a hard stance on and not budge

#wnba #i get like very annoyed when ppl get annoyed at things that are very clearly written in the cba #like bestie please im begging read it first before you talk #they also go over like team fines for breaking the cba like the liberty didn't get fined a random amount #they got fined the minimum team fine for breaking the cba it's literally outlined very clearly #i spent too much of my time on this I've been out of school for too long #i literally jump at the chance to do research and write essays

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posttexasstressdisorder · 2 months

Text

CrowdStruck

By Edward Zitron • 19 Jul 2024 View in browser

Soundtrack: EL-P - Tasmanian Pain Coaster (feat. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez & Cedric Bixler-Zavala)

When I first began writing this newsletter, I didn't really have a goal, or a "theme," or anything that could neatly characterize what I was going to write about other than that I was on the computer and that I was typing words.

As it grew, I wrote the Rot Economy, and the Shareholder Supremacy, and many other pieces that speak to a larger problem in the tech industry — a complete misalignment in the incentives of most of the major tech companies, which have become less about building new technologies and selling them to people and more about capturing monopolies and gearing organizations to extract things through them.

Every problem you see is a result of a tech industry — from the people funding the earliest startups to the trillion-dollar juggernauts that dominate our lives — that is no longer focused on the creation of technology with a purpose, and organizations driven toward a purpose. Everything is about expressing growth, about showing how you will dominate an industry rather than serve it, about providing metrics that speak to the paradoxical notion that you'll grow forever without any consideration of how you'll live forever. Legacies are now subordinate to monopolies, current customers are subordinate to new customers, and "products" are considered a means to introduce a customer to a form of parasite designed to punish the user for even considering moving to competitor.

What's happened today with Crowdstrike is completely unprecedented (and I'll get to why shortly), and on the scale of the much-feared Y2K bug that threatened to ground the entirety of the world's computer-based infrastructure once the Year 2000 began.

You'll note that I didn't write "over-hyped" or anything dismissive of Y2K's scale, because Y2K was a huge, society-threatening calamity waiting to happen, and said calamity was averted through a remarkable, $500 billion industrial effort that took a decade to manifest because the seriousness of such a significant single point of failure would have likely crippled governments, banks and airlines.

People laughed when nothing happened on January 1 2000, assuming that all that money and time had been wasted, rather than being grateful that an infrastructural weakness was taken seriously, that a single point of failure was identified, and that a crisis was averted by investing in stopping bad stuff happening before it does.

As we speak, millions — or even hundreds of millions — of different Windows-based computers are now stuck in a doom-loop, repeatedly showing users the famed "Blue Screen of Death" thanks to a single point of failure in a company called Crowdstrike, the developer of a globally-adopted cyber-security product designed, ironically, to prevent the kinds of disruption that we’ve witnessed today. And for reasons we’ll get to shortly, this nightmare is going to drag on for several days (if not weeks) to come.

The product — called Crowdstrike Falcon Sensor — is an EDR system (which stands for Endpoint Detection and Response). If you aren’t a security professional and your eyes have glazed over, I’ll keep this brief. An EDR system is designed to identify hacking attempts, remediate them, and prevent them. They’re big, sophisticated, and complicated products, and they do a lot of things that’s hard to build with the standard tools available to Windows developers.

And so, to make Falcon Sensor work, Crowdstrike had to build its own kernel driver. Now, kernel drivers operate at the lowest level of the computer. They have the highest possible permissions, but they operate with the fewest amount of guardrails. If you’ve ever built your own computer — or you remember what computers were like in the dark days of Windows 98 — you know that a single faulty kernel driver can wreak havoc on the stability of your system.

The problem here is that Crowdstrike pushed out an evidently broken kernel driver that locked whatever system that installed it in a permanent boot loop. The system would start loading Windows, encounter a fatal error, and reboot. And reboot. Again and again. It, in essence, rendered those machines useless.

It's convenient to blame Crowdstrike here, and perhaps that's fair. This should not have happened. On a basic level, whenever you write (or update) a kernel driver, you need to know it’s actually robust and won’t shit the bed immediately. Regrettably, Crowdstrike seemingly borrowed Boeing’s approach to quality control, except instead of building planes where the doors fly off at the most inopportune times (specifically, when you’re cruising at 35,000ft), it released a piece of software that blew up the transportation and banking sectors, to name just a few.

It created a global IT outage that has grounded flights and broken banking services. It took down the BBC’s flagship kids TV channel, infuriating parents across the British Isles, as well as Sky News, which, when it was able to resume live broadcasts, was forced to do so without graphics. In essence, it was forced back to the 1950s — giving it an aesthetic that matches the politics of its owner, Rupert Murdoch. By no means is this an exhaustive list of those affected, either.

The scale and disruption caused by this incident is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. Previous incidents — particularly rival ransomware outbreaks, like Wannacry — simply can’t compare to this, especially when we’re looking at the disruption and the sheer scale of the problem.

Still, if your day was ruined by this outage, at least spare a thought for those who’ll have to actually fix it. Because those machines affected are now locked in a perpetual boot loop, it’s not like Crowdstrike can release a software patch and call it a day. Undoing this update requires some users to have to individually go to each computer, loading up safe mode (a limited version of Windows with most non-essential software and drivers disabled), and manually removing the faulty code. And if you’ve encrypted your computer, that process gets a lot harder. Servers running on cloud services like Amazon Web Services and Microsoft Azure — you know, the way most of the internet's infrastructure works — require an entirely separate series of actions.

If you’re on a small IT team and you’re supporting hundreds of workstations across several far-flung locations — which isn’t unusual, especially in sectors like retail and social care — you’re especially fucked. Say goodbye to your weekend. Your evenings. Say goodbye to your spouse and kids. You won’t be seeing them for a while. Your life will be driving from site to site, applying the fix and moving on. Forget about sleeping in your own bed, or eating a meal that wasn’t bought from a fast food restaurant. Good luck, godspeed, and God bless. I do not envy you.

The significance of this failure — which isn't a breach, by the way, and in many respects is far worse, at least in the disruption caused — is not in its damage to individual users, but to the amount of technical infrastructure that runs on Windows, and that so much of our global infrastructure relies on automated enterprise software that, when it goes wrong, breaks everything.

It isn't about the number of computers, but the amount of them that underpin things like the security checkpoints or systems that run airlines, or at banks, or hospitals, all running as much automated software as possible so that costs can be kept down.

The problem here is systemic — that there is a company that the majority of people affected by this outage had no idea existed until today that Microsoft trusted to the extent that they were able to push an update that broke the back of a huge chunk of the world's digital infrastructure.

Microsoft, as a company, instead of building the kind of rigorous security protocols that would, say, rigorously test something that connects to what seems to be a huge proportion of Windows computers. Microsoft, in particular, really screwed up here. As pointed out by Wired, the company vets and cryptographically signs all kernel drivers — which is sensible and good, because kernel drivers have an incredible amount of access, and thus can be used to inflict serious harm — with this testing process usually taking several weeks.

How then did this slip through its fingers? For this to have happened, two companies needed to screw up epically. And boy, they did.

What we're seeing today isn't just a major fuckup, but the first of what will be many systematic failures — some small, some potentially larger — that are the natural byproduct of the growth-at-all-costs ecosystem where any attempt to save money by outsourcing major systems is one that simply must be taken to please the shareholder.

The problem with the digitization of society — or, more specifically, the automation of once-manual tasks — is that it introduces a single point of failure. Or, rather, multiple single points of failure. Our world, our lifestyle and our economy, is dependent on automation and computerization, with these systems, in turn, dependent on other systems to work. And if one of those systems breaks, the effects ricochet outwards, like ripples when you cast a rock into a lake.

Today’s Crowdstrike cock-up is just the latest example of this, but it isn’t the only one. Remember the SolarWinds hack in 2020, when Russian state-linked hackers gained access to an estimated 18,000 companies and public sector organizations — including NATO, the European Parliament, the US Treasury Department, and the UK’s National Health Service — by compromising just one service — SolarWinds Orion?

Remember when Okta — a company that makes software that handles authentication for a bunch of websites, governments, and businesses — got hacked in 2023, and then lied about the scale of the breach? And then do you remember how those hackers leapfrogged from Okta to a bunch of other companies, most notably Cloudflare, which provides CDN and DDOS protection services for pretty much the entire internet?

That whole John Donne quote — “No man is an island” — is especially true when we’re talking about tech, because when you scratch beneath the surface, every system that looks like it’s independent is actually heavily, heavily dependent on services and software provided by a very small number of companies, many of whom are not particularly good.

This is as much a cultural failing as it is a technological one, the result of management geared toward value extraction — building systems that build monopolies by attaching themselves to other monopolies. Crowdstrike went public in 2019, and immediately popped on its first day of trading thanks to Wall Street's appreciation of Crowdstrike moving away from a focused approach to serving large enterprise clients, building products for small and medium-sized businesses by selling through channel partners — in effect outsourcing both product sales and the relationship with a client that would tailor a business' solution to a particular need.

Crowdstrike's culture also appears to fucking suck. A recent Glassdoor entry referred to Crowdstrike as "great tech [with] terrible culture" with no work life balance, with "leadership that does not care about employee well being." Another from June claimed that Crowdstrike was "changing culture for the street,” with KPIs (as in metrics related to your “success” at the company) “driving behavior more than building relationships” with a serious lack of experience in the public sector in senior management. Others complain of micromanagement, with one claiming that “management is the biggest issue,” with managers “ask[ing] way too much of you…and it doesn’t matter if you do what they ask since they’re not even around to check on you,” and another saying that “management are arrogant” and need to “stop lying to the market on product capability.”

While I can’t say for sure, I’d imagine an organization with such powerful signs of growth-at-all-costs thinking — a place where you “have to get used to the pressure” that’s a “clique that you’re not in” — likely isn’t giving its quality assurance teams the time and space to make sure that there aren’t any Kaiju-level security threats baked into an update. And that assumes it actually has a significant QA team in-house, and hasn’t just (as with many companies) outsourced the work to a “bodyshop” like Wipro or Infosys or Tata.

And don’t think I’m letting Microsoft off the hook, either. Assuming the kernel driver testing roles are still being done in-house, do you think that these testers — who have likely seen their friends laid off at a time when the company was highly profitable, and denied raises when their well-fed CEO took home hundreds of millions of dollars for doing a job he’s eminenly bad at — are motivated to do their best work?

And this is the culture that’s poisoned almost the entirety of Silicon Valley. What we’re seeing is the societal cost of moving fast and breaking things, of Marc Andreessen considering “risk management the enemy,” of hiring and firing tens of thousands of people to please Wall Street, of seeking as many possible ways to make as much money as possible to show shareholders that you’ll grow, even if doing so means growing at a pace that makes it impossible to sustain organizational and cultural stability. When you aren’t intentional in the people you hire, the people you fire, the things you build and the way that they’re deployed, you’re going to lose the people that understand the problems they’re solving, and thus lack the organizational ability to understand the ways that they might be solved in the future.

This is dangerous, and also a dark warning for the future. Do you think that Facebook, or Microsoft, or Google — all of whom have laid off over 10,000 people in the last year — have done so in a conscientious way that means that the people left understand how their systems run and their inherent issues? Do you think that the management-types obsessed with the unsustainable AI boom are investing heavily in making sure their organizations are rigorously protected against, say, one bad line of code? Do they even know who wrote the code of their current systems? Is that person still there? If not, is that person at least contracted to make sure that something nuanced about the system in question isn’t mistakenly removed?

They’re not. They’re not there anymore. Only a few months ago Google laid off 200 employees from the core of its organization, outsourcing their roles to Mexico and India in a cost-cutting measure the quarter after the company made over $23 billion in profit. Silicon Valley — and big tech writ large — is not built to protect against situations like the one we’re seeing today,because their culture is cancerous. It valuesrowth at all costs, with no respect for the human capital that empowers organizations or the value of building rigorous, quality-focused products.

This is just the beginning. Big tech is in the throes of perdition, teetering over the edge of the abyss, finally paying the harsh cost of building systems as fast as possible. This isn’t simply moving fast or breaking things, but doing so without any regard for the speed at which you’re doing so and firing the people that broke them, the people who know what’s broken, and possibly the people that know how to fix them.

And it’s not just tech! Boeing — a company I’ve already shat on in this post, and one I’ll likely return to in future newsletters, largely because it exemplifies the short-sightedness of today’s managerial class — has, over the past 20 years or so, span off huge parts of the company (parts that, at one point, were vitally important) into separate companies, laid off thousands of employees at a time, and outsourced software dev work to $9-an-hour bodyshop engineers. It hollowed itself out until there was nothing left.

And tell me, knowing what you know about Boeing today, would you rather get into a 737 Max or an Airbus A320neo? Enough said.

As these organizations push their engineers harder, said engineers will turn to AI-generated code, poisoning codebases with insecure and buggy code as companies shed staff to keep up with Wall Street’s demands in ways that I’m not sure people are capable of understanding. The companies that run the critical parts of our digital lives do not invest in maintenance or infrastructure with the intentionality that’s required to prevent the kinds of massive systemic failures you see today, and I need you all to be ready for this to happen again.

This is the cost of the Rot Economy — systems used by billions of people held up by flimsy cultures and brittle infrastructure maintained with the diligence of an absentee parent. This is the cost of arrogance, of rewarding managerial malpractice, of promoting speed over safety and profit over people.

Every single major tech organization should see today as a wakeup call — a time to reevaluate the fundamental infrastructure behind every single tech stack.

What I fear is that they’ll simply see it as someone else’s problem - which is exactly how we got here in the first place.

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