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nightingaelic · 11 months ago

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Things that are Now Fallout Canon

(according to the Special LIVE Report from Galaxy News that preceded the Fallout TV series' teaser trailer release on December 2, 2023)

Vault 33, the focus vault of the Fallout television series, is located beneath Santa Monica, California. It's also implied to be very, very expensive to get into.

Bottle and Cappy, the mascots for Nuka-Cola and its theme park, Nuka-World, were about to embark on a seventeen-movie-long series of animated films before the bombs fell.

The sinking of the RMS Titanic happened in Fallout's alternate universe. The news announcer jokes about the world going down like the infamous ship, including the deadly lack of lifeboats.

Camels exist in this universe, too! The news announcer actually fucks this one up, because he says dromedary camels have two humps - dromedary camels have one hump, while Bactrian camels have two. Or maybe we'll get a sound bite from Todd Howard in a few months where he claims the camel breed names are swapped in Fallout, who knows.

Pets were not allowed in the commercially-advertised vaults. The news announcer regrettably informs listeners that they can't bring their cats, dogs, or even fish with them due to logistical concerns and safety hazards, but they are more than welcome to purchase Vault-Tec-branded gravestones and hold pet funerals before they move underground. Hypothetically-speaking, it wouldn't surprise me if people tried to smuggle their animals in, anyway.

Someone stole the Fallout universe's original moon landing flag from the Museum of Technology in Washington, D.C. - another headline report, with no further details. It was in the same exhibit as the Virgo II lunar lander, which stayed put for at least 200 years.

Vault Boy was named "World's Sexiest Man" in 2077 (when the report is being aired) - no word about which publication or organization bestowed this title upon an animated mascot.

Vault-Tec trademarked the thumbs-up emoji in the Fallout universe - which is very much in character for the company, but something about there being emojis in the world at all hit me wrong.

Vault-Tec instituted a "breeder search program" alongside vault placement purchases, and encouraged polyamory to get people to procreate (and buy more vault spots). I'll admit that this one seems plausible but shaky, because by this point in the report the news announcer is losing his mind while stalling for the vault door to open, and he might just be making shit up.

Nuka-Cola ran its own version of the Pizza Hut "BOOK IT!" reading program, called "ZAP IT!" Kids were required to read over 10,000 books to win rewards. If we use picture books for the math, and allow for five minutes to read each book, that's about 833 hours (34 straight days) of reading to get some soda.

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville and the ancient Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus both exist in the Fallout universe.

Resulting Thoughts

"The ghoul" in the show is possibly named Howard - unsure if that's a first or last name. In the teaser trailer, Walton Goggins (who plays the ghoul) is shown dressed like a Hollywood cowboy on the day of the Great War, riding a horse to try to escape the nuclear bombs that hit Los Angeles with an unidentified child. Meanwhile, the Galaxy News headlines report that a box office hit called "The Man From Deadhorse" is getting a sequel, which is currently filming at California Crest Studios, and the news announcer says the film is "Howard-led." Whether the ghoul is the lead actor, we don't know, but it seems like a solid enough hint at his origins.

I'm glad that the show is going to delve more into the idea of the haves and have-nots, what with vault entrance being both selective and expensive. The most recent games in the series don't talk about this enough, in my opinion.

This isn't specific to the show adaptation, but it's becoming more noticeable to me that the Fallout series is crawling forward in terms of relating to modernity. I'm not sure how to feel about this - for example, I don't really mind if the soundtrack of Fallout 76 features the Beach Boys and other 1960s songs when it used to be strictly limited to 1930s and 40s music. On the other hand, I thought that using a news announcer that sounds more like a modern podcast host than a Transatlantic-accented journalist was an odd choice, and as I said above, I really did not like the idea that pre-war America knows what an emoji is. I'll get over it, but I'm anticipating that there will be some more artistic choices in the adaptation (and future games) that rub me and others the wrong way because they don't fit our definition of what Fallout "is." I'm not saying anything new, people have been arguing about that forever.

Overall, I'm excited. We're probably not getting a new Fallout game until 2030, so I might as well try to enjoy this. I will be keeping my bingo cards handy, though.

Anyway, I transcribed the damn report because I'm very normal. Feel free to use!

Fallout - A Special LIVE Report from Galaxy News

with occasional commentary from yours truly

[An upbeat, strings-led orchestral jingle plays, and black-and-white picture focuses on a spinning, silver globe. The globe is being circled by a vintage toy rocket. The words "GALAXY NEWS" fly in, and are quickly wiped and replaced by script declaring "Vault-Tec Presents..." The picture is circle-wiped and transitions to a high view of a vault entrance, with no visible script or markings to indicate which vault it is. The large, circular vault door is closed, and the access bridge to the door is not connected. A timer counting down from 60 minutes is overlaid in the bottom left corner, just above the Galaxy News globe logo and a signal tower graphic next to the word "LIVE." News headlines scroll along the bottom of the screen, the first of which reads "GALAXY NEWS SIGNS 10-YEAR PARTNERSHIP DEAL WITH VAULT-TEC." The headlines are separated by small lightning bolt graphics. The music continues throughout, and a male news announcer's voice cuts in.]

Good morning! Or, afternoon! Or evening, depending on where in the world you are. If you're just tuning in with us now, you're in for a treat. Welcome to the unveiling of Vault 33, one of the flagship vaults of Vault-Tec's arsenal of vaults.

[The second scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC VOTED AMERICAN COMPANY WITH BRIGHTEST FUTURE."]

Galaxy News is here live with an exclusive look at the next generation of apocalypse-proof, purpose-built luxury housing, sponsored by our friends at Vault-Tec. Vault-Tec: Revolutionizing safety for an uncertain future.

[The third scrolling headline reads "ROBCO INTERPLANETARY PROBE PROBES DEEPER INTO SPACE THAN ANY PROBE HAS PROBED BEFORE."]

If you're a regular viewer of our programming, we consider you an astute, engaged citizen, doing your part to stay informed on the latest news impacting this beautiful country of ours, and so it will be no surprise to you that we are on the precipice of a nuclear armageddon. But, fear not, Vault-Tec is building the ultimate shelter-in-place solution for the more doomsday-savvy customer: A veritable ark meticulously designed to weather the geopolitical storm surely headed our way any day now. And for the first time on live broadcast, the fine folks at Vault-Tec will be giving you a tour of their newest product unveiling, from the comfort of your home.

[The announcer takes a break, and the music swells. The vault remains closed, and no activity whatsoever is visible around it. It might as well be a static image. The fourth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-WORLD BREAKS ATTENDANCE RECORD FOR FOURTH STRAIGHT YEAR. GALACTIC ZONE GIVEN CREDIT FOR INCREASED NUMBERS." The initial song ends, and a new strings song with a more staccato rhythm begins. The news announcer returns.]

Welcome, once again, to Vault 33, nestled in the coastal west side of sunny Los Angeles County, and minutes from the yet-to-be-destroyed, bustling downtown promenade. Should nuclear annihilation one day come for this quiet beach-side town, you can take comfort in knowing you are safely buried deep, deep below what numerous trade publications once called "one of the best places to live." Right now, ladies and gentlemen, what you're looking at is peace of mind. Billions and billions of dollars and decades of R&D funneled into the high-grade protection engineering that only Vault-Tec can bring you.

[The fifth scrolling headline reads "WE ASKED OUR VIEWERS TO ANSWER A SIMPLE QUESTION: WHAT IS THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH AND WHY IS IT AMERICA? HEAR THE RESULTS TONIGHT AT 10PM EST." At this point, the news announcer starts to sound less formal and more excited.]

Aren't we a bunch of lucky ducks! Vault-Tec has tapped us into their closed loop security feed to bring you a sneak peek behind a vault entrance airlock. That large, fortified steel blast door you see there is the only thing standing between you and the rads.

[The sixth scrolling headline reads "UNITED STATES AGAIN ACCUSED OF ATMOSPHERIC COUNTER-ESPIONAGE BY THE REDS."]

Very soon - very soon, I'm told - Arnold? Are we - yeah - and we're very soon, and we're very soon. Very, very soon, I'm told, that gear door will open, and Galaxy News will be on the ground to give you all a walking tour of the facilities! Including the accommodations one might expect in a state-of-the-art, modern residence thanks to a partnership with RobCo Industries and some of your shelf-stable forever favorites like BlamCo and Sugar Bombs! There's nowhere to hide from explosive good taste! Boom!

[The news announcer disappears again, and the strings conclude and are replaced with a meandering clarinet-led number. Several scrolling headlines go by: "U.S. RENEWS DEFENSE CONTRACT WITH WEST TEK, HERALDS VALUE OF POWER ARMOR IN ALL THEATERS OF WAR." "ESPIONAGE THREAT SUBDUED IN DOMESTIC URANIUM MINES." "PRESIDENT DECLARES NUCLEAR STOCKPILE 'SAFE ENOUGH.'" "BULLETIN OF THE ATOMIC SCIENCES SETS DOOMSDAY CLOCK TO HALF A NANOSECOND TO MIDNIGHT." "ATLAS OBSERVATORY CHRISTENS NEW TELESCOPE, RE-COMMITTING TO A NON-VIOLENT PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE." The song ends, a new one begins, and the news announcer returns. The vault still hasn't opened, and he's dropped what was left of his professional tone.]

And we are... stalled out. We're still... having technical difficulties. You know, sometimes things go bad and there's just no way you can plan. It's kind of like what's happening with the world right now, there's no way you could've been born into the world and know how you were going to end - know how the world would end. How will the world end, in fire or in ice? Well, it turns out -

[laughter]

It turns out it's gonna be fire...

[The twelfth scrolling headline reads "CHRISTMAS TOY TRENDS: RETAILERS REPORT SHORTAGE OF POWER ARMOR FIGURINES."]

Arnold! What's that? Okay. Yes.

[sound of paper pages being flipped through]

Okay. Arnold just handed me a fun fact. We're gonna do fun facts, fun facts.

[The thirteenth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA QUANTUM GETS FDA APPROVAL, FOUND TO CONTAIN 'HEALTHY AMOUNT OF RADIATION."]

Fun fact about the construction of these massive vaults: They use concrete. Hm. That hardly counts as a fun fact, Arnold. Now is there an update on when the door... the door's gonna be open? Arnold? I'm sorry, is there an update on the door? Is there an update on the crane? Is it a crane problem, or a door problem? Is it a pr- is it a crane problem, or a door problem? Arnold? Arnold! Arnie!

[sigh]

Okay...

[The news announcer gives up, and a song with a lot of muted trumpet comes in to serenade more scrolling headlines. "NO ONE'S BEATING THIS DEADHORSE. 'THE MAN FROM DEADHORSE' TOPS BOX OFFICE. A SEQUEL IS ALREADY IN THE WORKS AT CALIFORNIA CREST STUDIOS." "ATLAS WEATHER EXPERIMENT BELIEVED TO BE THE CAUSE OF UNEXPECTED SNOW FLURRY IN LOS ANGELES." "DEVELOPING: REDS CONTINUES TO DENY EXISTENCE OF STEALTH SUBMARINES, US INTELLIGENCE SUGGESTS OTHERWISE." Woodwinds replace the trumpet, and the news announcer returns, pivoting to an unrehearsed sales pitch for his sponsor.]

If you have the money, please - please, guys - get a Vault-Tec vault. Get in there! Think of it as a life raft, a bit. Our country is the Titanic, and these vaults are the life rafts - right? - attached to the side of it.

[The seventeenth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA MASCOTS 'BOTTLE AND CAPPY' TO APPEAR IN ANIMATED FILM FROM CALIFORNIA CREST STUDIOS. WILL BE THE FIRST IN A SEVENTEEN PICTURE DEAL BETWEEN THE COMPANIES."]

Now, were there enough life rafts on the Titanic? If you remember - no, no there weren't enough, and so many, many people died, and so, it's a nice allegory actually, because they're not going to die in the freezing ocean, which would be - actually, it's a little faster to die by fire than it is by drowning in the cold, so it is kind of an advantage to be dying now, th- rather than on the Titanic, the RMS Titanic.

[The eighteenth scrolling headline reads "SUPPLY LINES FOR RED FORCES BREAKING DOWN." Sort of like this announcer. He pivots again.]

Now - can you call a survivor of a nuclear holocaust a person, anymore? I don't know. Their brain is going to be cottage cheese, and they will be crawling... crawling on the ground, stuffing sand in their mouth, their blind eyes melted out, like the white of an egg, just dripping and dribbling out of their eye sockets.

[The nineteenth scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC ANNOUNCES COMPLETION OF VAULT 33 UNDER SANTA MONICA, CA."]

They raise their face towards their... god... and scream, "Nooooo! Whyyyyyy! What did it all mean?" It turns out it didn't mean much if you didn't get a spot in a Vault-Tec vault."

[The twentieth scrolling headline reads "MILITARY UNITS SENT TO QUELL UNREST IN SEVERAL STATES."]

"Now, let's talk about the luxury interiors of Vault-Tec vaults. We have camel leather. You've heard of cow leather. Probably. Camel leather is a great deal softer, isn't it? It comes from the camel, who keep their water on their backs in a hump. Sometimes two, if they're a dromedary. Now, let's talk about camel leather and why it is more supple, and why it is cooler to the touch, and we can talk about it forever but what you want is luxury, what you need is safety: Where you go is Vault-Tec. That's it.

[I feel like I need to point out that dromedary camels only have one hump, and no camels store water in their humps: It's actually just fat up there that they can live off of while traversing deserts. Regardless, the announcer is gone again. The scrolling headlines remain. "NUKA CORP SPINS OFF ATOMIC RESEARCH ARM INTO SEPARATE CORPORATE ENTITY AFTER SEC APPROV." "SUPER DUPER MART ANNOUNCES RECALL OF BLAMCO MAC & CHEESE FOR TRACE AMOUNTS OF DAIRY." "VAULT-TEC STOCKS SOAR AS US ECONOMY BECOMES FEAR-BASED." "BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, FIREARMS AND LASERS TAKE DOWN NATIONWIDE WEAPONS SMUGGLING RING." Another woodwind-heavy song starts up, and so does our announcer.]

Um... Arnold?

[throat clearing]

Arnie! Can we- do- do we have a- can we start a clock? Can we - is there, like, anything we can do? I feel like people need something to hold onto, there's a lot of empty air. There's a lot of dead air, here. People need something to hold onto, people are freaking out, and I'm freaking out because I like to have - I like to bring people comfort - uh, in, in this crazy time. There's, there's only a few things you can predict -

[laughter]

In - in the world, and uh, I thought that opening the vault on time would be one of those things.

[The twenty-fifth scrolling headline reads "MILITARY SETS THREAT LEVEL OF POSSIBLE BIOLOGICAL WEAPON ATTACK FROM REDS TO HIGH."]

I was kind of counting on it as a - a thing that would bring some amount of normalcy, some amount of comfort. Something happening the way it's supposed to in a world that feels like it has been turned upside down by evil. But, unfortunately that is not the case. Here we are. Another thing we don't know. Another thing we have to grapple with.

[The twenty-sixth scrolling headline reads "TEDDY FEAR MANUFACTURER SETTLES CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT, DENIES TOY BEAR CAUSES SLEEP PARALYSIS NIGHTMARES IN CHILDREN."]

This particular vault and these technical difficulties that we're having right now have absolutely nothing to do with the product that you will buy when you buy a Vault-Tec vault. Now, Vault-Tec vault living is living the dream, and it's the only way to safety unless you're... the President of the United States, or something like that, and you have a mountain in Colorado to go under and direct the events of the world. Not many of us are that, there's only one of those... uh, and his various and sundry advisors, I'm sure they'll be fine, but you won't! You won't be fine!

[The twenty-seventh scrolling headline reads "WERE TEDDY FEAR BEARS MISUNDERSTOOD? ONE PSYCHOLOGIST THINKS SO."]

If a vault is out of your price range, there are lower-cost alternatives to purchasing a spot with Vault-Tec. They don't sound... good, if you ask me. Anti-radiation pills? Good luck with that. Not sure how anti-radiation pills will hold up against temperatures rivaling the surface of the sun, for example. But maybe that's just me!

[He's gone again. We're 15 minutes into the countdown, and the woodwinds have really started to outdo their own whimsy, at this point. Headlines continue. "TEDDY FEARS SKYROCKET IN POPULARITY AND PRICE DUE TO SCARCITY CAUSED BY RECALL." "VAULT-TEC ANNOUNCES NEWLY AVAILABLE SINGLE VAULT SPACES FOR SALE." "THIS YEAR'S FALLOUT SUIT DESIGN FEATURES ENHANCED PROTECTION, 20% MORE ZIPPERS." The whimsical woodwinds finish up and a bouncy, brassy horn piece takes over. This summons the announcer.]

When you see that vault, it's all gonna be worth it, fellas. It's all gonna be worth it when you see that vault. Now kids, you're probably wondering: Can I bring my pet doggy, or my pet kitty, into the vault? You can't. Unfortunately... it's a hazard in so many different ways. Uh... tch, uh, their hair can get caught in the ventilation system, you'll have endless problems, where do you put their waste? Where do you put... their food? So many, so many problems, so... we have specially-made Vault-Tec gravestones.

[The thirty-first scrolling headline reads "VIRGO II LUNAR LANDER NOW ON DISPLAY AT MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY IN WASHINGTON, D.C."]

We have specially-made Vault-Tec pet gravestones for your children to have many funerals for their pets before you go into your Vault-Tec vault. Memorialize your pets now with Vault-Tec mini pet gravestones! Dig a hole in the sand, put the pet in there, and put that gravestone - and it's got a space where you can write the pet's name - right before you go in the vault, no pets in the vault. Not even fish. No, not even fish.

[The thirty-second scrolling headline reads "FLAG FROM VIRGO II LUNAR LANDING STOLEN FROM MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY." The news announcer is really getting aggravated.]

What is happening? What is - Arnie! What is - what is happening? Okay - okay! Alright!

[The music and the headlines fill the space again. "NUKA-WORLD TO RAISE TICKET PRICES FOR UPCOMING SEASON, EXPECTING AN 'EXPLOSIVE' YEAR." "GWINNETT ANNOUNCES NEW PALE ALE SO PALE IT'S TRANSPARENT." "HAPPY NATIONAL SOCK HOP DAY!" "VAULT BOY NAMED WORLD'S SEXIEST MAN." The news announcer tries again, attempting to play up the complete inactivity happening onscreen.]

So much is happening here, we've got... the crane, as you can see, it's - it's about to be lowered, and I'm told - and I'm told... the weather. The inclement weather is - keep - I think the weather... there's a pressure cha- it needs to be - yes, of course. The pressure needs to be right to open the vault, or else the differential pressure between underground and overground will cause... a, uh... uh, the furniture to, uh...

[The thirty-seventh scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC REGISTERS TRADEMARK ON THE THUMBS UP EMOJI." This one made me physically recoil.]

L- Look... get a Vault-Tec vault. If you can't afford a whole vault for your family, that's fine. Buy time in a timeshare, one of our timeshares. And it's not the kind of timeshare you're going to regret, this is one that's not a scam, because you can look down at your intact body in a Vault-Tec vault and say, "Look at me! I'm whole!"

[The thirty-eighth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA PATRIOTICALLY SALUTES SUCCESS OF NEWEST FLAVOR LAUNCH - NUKA-COLA VICTORY. EXCLUSIVE REDESIGN COMING NEXT YEAR WITH 'A TASTE AS SWEET AS FREEDOM.'"]

Stay whole in a Vault-Tec vault! Keep it together, meaning your corporeal form! Keep it together in a Vault-Tec vault! You'll be skipping around in a workout area, and... check out those barbells! Why not work those biceps while you're down here? What if there's an emergency, and somebody breaches your Vault-Tec vault door? Well, you're gonna want to be in shape to fight off that rageful beast!

[At this point the scrolling headlines loop back to the beginning.]

Now, is it a human? If you kill it, will its soul go to heaven or hell? Don't worry about it! Just get it out, because even its presence in your Vault-Tec vault could kill you and your entire family! These people are irradiated. It's not healthy, right? It's like putting your hand on a radiator. Don't do it.

[Music break. That vault still isn't opening. The song ends, and the news announcer clears his throat.]

We don't... have the exact scoop yet, ladies and gentlemen, so Arnie, why don't we put some music on while we wait for the skinny?

[noticeable pause]

I- I- I- I- don't know what song, put on anything, I'm dying up here.

[The next song opens with energetic trumpets that sound like they're charging through a movie theater snack stand. It's followed by a big band track that seems to re-energize the announcer.]

And, if you're just joining us, we're preparing to head inside the latest and greatest product offering from Vault-Tec. Vault 33, a pristine subterranean society purpose-built for America's best and brightest to wait out the nuclear fallout. There's no telling what will remain once this global conflict reaches its inevitable conclusion: That's why it's important for patriots like you to purchase a guaranteed spot in America's future. It's up to you to keep our golden society going, propagating forth until we have the ranks to repopulate the world outside.

"What if I don't have a partner or family right now?" you may be asking. "Don't give up on love so soon!" I say. Where better to meet eligible partners than in a cherry-picked community of like-minded individuals? If you find you need a bit more assistance, Vault-Tec has breeder search programs to help you find the one, or the two, or the three, four, five! Vault-Tec is a very open society, so go ahead and purchase that single vault space, and that single may become a double before you know it! And what better place to find someone to love, than safe underground?

Please stay tuned as we prepare to bring the crew, and the world at large, inside our Vault-Tec facility.

"But what if I don't have the money for a vault right now?" you may be thinking. You should never let not having the funds today stop you from reaching your dreams. You can always pay tomorrow, into perpetuity. Vault-Tec is reportedly constructing financial packages that allow for customers to continue payments on select economy vaults, in the event of total societal extinction. So don't worry, purchase away! Vault-Tec upholds traditional American values, and they believe no one should be excluded from the pursuit of life, liberty, and debt.

[Music break, wherein the song concludes and switches to something more pensive and staccato.]

A- Alright? Yes? Arnold is telling me - yes? We are moments away! Moments away - from having some kind of movement here. I'll believe that when I see it. Sorry Arnie, but your credibility with me could not be any lower at this point.

Let's talk about the amenities in these concrete miracles. Radiation King will be providing television sets, modern kitchen appliances.

[throat clearing]

The sofas will be... I'm sorry, do we know who makes the sofas? I'm sorry, do we - do we know who makes the sofas? Do we know who makes the sofas? Arnold, do we know who makes the sofas?

[Arnold does not reply. The announcer is miffed.]

What else is new. Yeah.

[Dejection turns to anger immediately.]

If you could please just give me something? If you could please just give me something to update? I'm sitting here with nothing! I'm sitting here... with nothing! This isn't my job! I'm a journalist! I report things, I don't... vamp! Is there even a - is, is there a clue? Is there, do the crane people - have the crane people chimed in? Have the door people chimed in? Is it all one person?

[Arnold presumably says some inaudible form of "I don't know." This does not please the news announcer.]

Well maybe con- maybe connect yourself to them. You should get yourself a radio. Get yourself a radio, Arnold. That's your job, to communicate with me the facts about what's going on, and it's my job to communicate to the people who are watching - we're trying to save their lives - you know, and this isn't advertising for me. This is a product I believe in!

Arnold, what do you do? What skills do you - are you somebody's son? Are you - are you somebody's kid, or something?

[Arnold can finally be heard, somewhat garbled from distance or technology: "My uncle is, uh, is the general manager of Galaxy News, your employer." The news announcer considers this.]

Your uncle is the manager of Galaxy New - mmm. Well, that explains how you got this internship. I'm sorry for everything I said, but... you can understand my frustration, here.

[The music concludes, but the announcer keeps going.]

The, uh, vault foreman is out here, and he is, uh, uh, doing hand signals. Ooh, yes, it's going to be a while, let's play some music for the people, Arnie.

[A new song starts. We're nearly 30 minutes into the countdown before the song switches over and the news announcer starts up again.]

All right folks, we have an update! They've got eyes on the gatekeeper out walking the grounds. It appears he was attempting to retrace his steps after misplacing the key and his wallet - still no word on the key itself, please stand by for more on the wallet, as this story continues to unfold.

Still on standby as we wait for the situation in the vault to resolve, but folks, there is plenty to get the American public up to speed on in the meantime. World news stories! Breaking, breaking news from the international desk. Peace negotiations between America and her adversaries crumbled in Anchorage, Alaska, this past weekend, a city recently liberated from foreign occupation, leading experts to believe nuclear war is indeed on the horizon. One more reason, America, to tune into the presentation Vault-Tec has for us today. Preparation, resilience, and smart spending are the only way our precious republic makes it through that long, dark night.

[This revelation approximates the date of the broadcast, which is happening not long after the Battle of Anchorage. The clash in Alaska officially ended on January 10, 2077: This news bulletin proves that attempted peace negotiations followed, then failed.]

Going the way of the dinosaurs has never felt this fun! If only the dinosaurs had Vault-Tec technology. Now, the dinosaurs died because... a meteor came from space, right? They had nothing to do with it. We have everything to do with our own demise. It's almost like… people are a virus that is destroying the Earth, we're a planet-killing virus. And people do say, "Oh, well, you know, well, the cockroaches... will outlive us and the the aardvarks or whatever will outlive us." Well, they won't. They're going to die too, because this is the real deal, guys. This is the end. So if you're not underground, I don't know what you're doing.

I wonder how we'll evolve. Will we develop a different kind of skin, some kind of leathery, plastic skin to fight off the nuclear fire? Who knows, but the only way to find out is to purchase a Vault-Tec vault, or a space in one of our timeshares.

[Music break again. It's a rather lively waltz.]

For those gathered around their Radiation King TV sets today, thank you for your patience. Rome wasn't built in a day!

[laughter]

Very soon you will witness… one of the greatest modern advances since the Virgo II moon landing - you won't want to miss this, the future of you and your future children depends on it.

[Exasperation sets in.]

Honestly, who wrote this copy?

[Arnold presumably raises his hand.]

You did, Arnold? Well, that's not surprising. It leaves… yes, well, it leaves a lot to be desired. They couldn't hire a professional writer? You look like you're 15 years old.

[Arnold inaudibly corrects him.]

You're 23? Yeah, well, 23-year-olds look like they're 15 now, still too young. What could you know about the - what could you possibly know about the written word, Arnold? Goddamn it. What could you - what do you know about writing and oratory? Nothing, I'll answer y- for you, nothing. The lack of professionalism - myself not included - disgusts me. The lack of professionalism disgusts me, Arnold!

Speaking of nuclear fire, you should see the muffin tray they left out for me. People want a blueberry mu- you want a muffin, okay? A muffin. Not a little squirt of dough, with a little powdered su- give me a muffin, give me a real thing, okay? Give me some snacks! You're going to give me some coffee? Good. I need a snack, to balance it. I'm not the only person in the world who needs a little bit of fat in their stomach when they eat a... big haul of caffeine.

[throat clearing]

Stand by as we wait for the situation in the vault to resolve.

[The music does some flourishes, then finishes.]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's official: We're experiencing some technical difficulties. And before we can open the vault - Vault 33, our flagship vault, full of the, uh, finest luxury items available to mankind, a- as of now - maybe we could put something on to keep people company while we figure out the technical difficulties. Sorry, these difficulties of course have nothing to do with Vault-Tec's vault tech. In- in- indeed…

Look, I need to have a whole cigarette right now. Just put on the song. Where are my smokes?

[The music starts up again while the announcer burns through a cigarette at the speed of a Corvega.]

Well, well, well! Here we are again! Ladies and gentlemen, we're dealing with a hiccup. Now, hiccups... might seem like a momentary stoppage, but this is a big hiccup. It's like God is hiccuping.

Vault-Tec is reporting that there's only one gatekeeper and one key on this vault model. The keys for these vaults are one of one, it fits like a glove, but it's - it's - these - these locks are very, very complicated.

God, it's so good to be on the other side of this. I don't think people know. People really don't know what's coming, and that's probably good. If you haven't watched… if you haven't watched the news up to this point, don't pick it up. Don't… just try and stay ignorant, uh, really don't find out what's going to happen because… it's bad, um, it's over.

[laughter]

The Earth is a slaughterhouse, and we are cattle!

[laughter]

We- we'll go back into, uh, a society resembling Bronze Age Mesopotamia. That's where we're going. It's not fun. Um... disease is… really prominent, um… we don't treat women well - let's just face it, it's - they - we don't treat them well now, but back then… oof. Rough. Rough treatment of women. You think we're racist now?

It's going to get bad. Where you want to be is underground. Vault-Tec vaults.

[A really tinny muted trumpet rises to its occasion as he disappears again for a bit.]

You know what else is great about Vault-Tec vaults? The air purification system. Let's talk about air. You need air to breathe, I need air to breathe, we need air to breathe. Vault-Tec's got it in spades! We've got oxygen candles straight from our finest nuclear submarines that you can burn, that turn nitrogen and carbon dioxide into oxygen molecules. Perfectly breathable, perfectly safe for your children, and your children's children, and your children's children's children in case we're there for three sweaty generations of sweaty living underground! In a fresh vault!

In fact, we put a family in a vault for 10 years and let them out just to see how it would go… and here they are now! "We loved it, uh… We loved it! That was great!" Uh… that's - I'm making it up! I'm making that up. I am imagining what could happen if I had more information about the vaults, but I don't have that information, so I'm making it up! Ha! Vault-Tec vaults, yes. Say yes to the tech!

[The music saves us for a bit.]

Unfortunately, we are back, the vault hasn't opened, and we have had absolutely no movement towards the vault opening, so! Hope you enjoyed that music. I know I was tapping my feet. Let's get back into it, where are we?

The US government has been quietly testing T-60 power armor suits as part of their long-standing defense contract with West Tek, following up the T-45 and T-51 efforts in the ongoing war with the People's Liberation Army.

[hisses through teeth]

How about that? How about that. The Man from Deadhorse gallops to a fast start at the box office! The Howard-led western is said to be the next smash for California Crest Studios.

[So the ghoul's name is probably Howard Something, or Something Howard. Interesting, but the announcer doesn't care and decides to throw another tantrum.]

Am I crazy or is this taking forever? I don't think I'm crazy, but I feel crazy! In fact, I might be the only person involved in this whole production who hasn't lost his mind! I'm looking at you, Arnie, I'm looking at you!

[Looking at Arnie yields nothing, again.]

"You don't know what to do, you don't know what to do." You idiot! I can't even get the word- I can't even get the information from you. Worthless!

[grunt of rage]

It's just me and Arnie here, I'm in hell, he's sitting there smiling at me, I'm in absolute hell!

Do you have a spot, Arnie? Do you have a spot in a vault? Oh! You do! What vault is that?

[long pause]

Oh, that's the one I'm in. Oh. Dear God.

[deep breath]

I guess we should get to know each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, we don't even know what's wrong here… but I can assure you that what isn't wrong is Vault-Tec technology, this has nothing to do with Vault-Tec's patented lock technology and everything to do with stupid people and human error. If you're this inefficient at work, what is home li- do - how do you wipe yourself?

[Uncalled-for, news announcer man.]

Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy this music while we figure out what's going on.

[Musical break number who knows. Just over 11 minutes remain on the countdown.]

In other sponsored news, Nuka-Cola is celebrating the success of one of their newest flavor launches, Nuka-Cola Victory, with an exclusive redesign release later next year. Students that read over 10,000 books can be part of the ZAP IT! Program, rewarding literacy with sugar!

[deep breath]

I don't like Nuka-Cola. Personally... I don't like Nuka-Cola. Too sweet. I don't drink it. But it's popular, I have stocks in it, I invest - I invest in it. I don't drink it. It's the way the world is. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's good, just because it's good, doesn't mean it's popular. A can of Nuka-Cola, what is that, it's energy slowed down, right? It's the energy of the universe slowed down, right? What are we, what am I? We are energy slowed down into the form of a human being. All that's about to stop.

[laughter]

All that's about to stop! All that's about to go away! Maybe there's life on other planets. Maybe there's not. Are they going to come save us, no! If I were on another planet, and I came here, I would have an endless belly laugh at our folly, I mean, the folly of man! It's funny, there's so much written about the "folly of man." I mean, read Moby-Dick. Read… uh… what di- what happened with the - the wax wings, the wax wing guy? Wax wing man, Mr. Wax Wings, Daedalus. What's his name?

[Arnold hazards a guess we can hear: "Shakespeare?"]

Arnold, Shakespeare? Arnold, Arnold, good god… Shakespeare? Where did you go - you went to one of these hippie schools...

[Arnold tries again: "I think it was Icarus?" The announcer is ecstatic.]

Icarus! Icarus. Wow! You are good for something. Wow, Arnie!

Now, Icarus, he was close to the sun. In a Vault-Tec vault, you'll be as far from it as possible. You will be up to 50 feet underground, in a Vault-Tec vault, safe and sound in the knowledge that the wax on your wings will not be anywhere close to anything that will make it melt, except our new Vault-Tec oven!

[The horns come in again.]

Where are you f- what's your family situation? Do you have kids or…

[Arnold probably shakes his head.]

No kids? Good for you.

[laughter]

Are you single?

[Arnold: "Yeah."]

Ahh, yeah. I wouldn't recommend going into a vault single. You might want to lock someone down and take you in there - if only to help you fight - and, uh, survive, it's good to have a partner. Yeah… oof!

Anyway, glad I'm safe and secure in my vault! Um… I'm in the tax bracket that kind of... automatically gets a vault, so, sorry everybody. Uh… I'll be, uh, doing this thing called surviving, while you are all burning.

[deep breath]

What's the point of any of this? What's the point of any of this? Nobody - nobody listening to this can afford one of these things. Everybody listening to this is about to turn into an idea!

[laughter]

Instead of a being! But, here we are! Let's whoop it up! Let's whoop it up! It's a big parade… for the end of mankind! It's a big parade! Here's the final celebration, Arnie! Here we are!

Let's stake our claim in a dying planet! Let's plant our flag in a dead rock, and see how we feel. Let's see how we feel after the flag is planted, Arnie.

[a deep sigh]

I don't know how much longer I can do this, man.

[another deep breath]

My voice hurts, I'm thirsty, we're out of water, the muffins they laid out at the top of the day are dry and old, I feel dry and I feel old.

I give up! I give up.

[chuckles]

What's the point of this? I mean, what's the point of anything? I'm... I'm broken.

[Emotion creeps in.]

I'm broken. I'm changed. I am broken and I have changed. I…

[one more deep breath]

Thanks to you, Arnie. Thanks to you, man. Thanks, you're the best, yeah, thanks to you, pal. Thanks to you, buddy boy. You are just awful. You disgust me. Yeah, I'm just - I'm sorry. I'm - I'm just… I'm fried, man. I'm - I'm fried, pal. I'm fried. Dead. Gravestone, dead. Oh yeah, that's, okay.

Oh, god. Where are we in the process of the door opening?

[Arnold: "Yeah, it's over."]

What?

[A record scratch stops the music. Two minutes remain on the countdown.]

What's that? Oh!

[The announcer clears his throat, and the music changes to a triumphant fanfare.]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting word. Ladies and gentlemen... I've gotten word that we are star- we are starting, ladies and gentlemen. It's happening! Here we are! Here we are, we got it, we got it, and now…

N- and now, this afternoon is unlike any other afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. It was the morning, now it's the afternoon - here we go! The crane is loweri- Here we go!

[relieved laughter]

Okay! Really close to the time where I can go, and get out of here! The crane is lowering, it is happening, the tumblers are tumbling! The crane is lowering, the tumblers are tumbling, we are… go! We're going! It's opening! It's opening!

[The static image of the vault has not changed in the slightest bit.]

You try doing this! You try doing this, Arnie! You try filling the time! Next time we'll switch places, Arnie, and you can try it! Oh boy, oh boy, here we go, thank god we're doing it and it's happening. I see motion, I see- I see Vault-Tec… I am convinced! Guys, this is great, it's been great, Arnie? It's been great. Arnie, it's been great. You know, I hope we are in the same vault. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you, Arnie.

[slightly unhinged laughter]

As long as this happens right now, I am fine with spending the rest of my life with you! As long as the vault opens right now. The fact that nuclear fire could fall from the sky at any moment has made this broadcast that much more important. Thank you, thank you so much for joining us!

#fallout #fallout tv show #fotv #the ghoul #galaxy news #prime video #amazon

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jupejumble · 1 year ago

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you wanna hear me talk about my favorite live action movie? of course you do here we go (0 notes)

just a quick nope infodump cuz i have nowhere else to dump my thought about this movie -- i put it under the cut cuz i know some people dont like horror or scary stuff, and some people are planning on watching it and dont want spoilers :]

first this is my thing of how i finally got to watching nope, it can be skipped, the actual infodump starts at the pink text

ok so first of all, nope had caught my attention when i first saw some trailers for it,, then i forgot about it until i saw some fanart for the gordy scene, and i thought it looked so good. so i looked in the comments and people kept talking about that scene. me, being curious, looked up the scene on youtube. and it scared me so bad.

later in the year (2022) i went to universal studios in a family trip. i really enjoyed it but the one part that was my favorite was the studio tour, i love animation and film and cinematography so it was right up my alley. but at the very end of the tour, we went to the new exhibition of it. Jupiter's Claim.

the very same jupiter's claim from the movie (not really just a recreation). they did a whole thing with the aliens and it freaked me out. very fun but i did not expect it so it was alarming to see a set piece from a movie i had little knowledge on and was scared of.

so i did what i usually do to keep my nerves down, started researching it. watching trailers, actor interviews, cinematography etc.

i wanted to see what the movie was about, so i looked it up and read the plot on wikipedia, it did get me less scared of it, but it also really peaked my interest.

when the synapsis described jean jacket's final form, i hadnt imagined it was so big. in my head i thought it was smaller than a person and that it looked like a jellyfish. i was only half right. then once again, i forgot about the movie entirely.

until almost a year later. when i saw a "everything great about" video on nope. i thought, well they usually cut up the movie, and talk through it, so itll basically be like watching the movie.

it was really interesting, so i decided to watch it. now onto my infodump thing im mostly going to be talking about the themes and stuff

HERES THE MOVIE PLOT WHICH I JUST PULLED FROM WIKIPEDIA CUZ I DONT WANT TO WRITE THE ENTIRE THING -- you can skip this if youve watched tho movie, or just skip it if you want idc

[In Agua Dulce, California, the Haywood family trains and handles horses for film productions. One day at the Haywood ranch, small metallic objects violently fall from the sky. One of these objects, a nickel, ends up killing Otis Haywood Sr.

Six months later, his children, Emerald "Em" Haywood and a depressed Otis "OJ" Haywood Jr., are fired from a set after their horse, Lucky, reacts violently to its own reflection in a chrome ball utilized for visual effects. To raise money, OJ has been selling some of the Haywood horses to Ricky "Jupe" Park, who operates a Western theme park called Jupiter's Claim. Jupe exploits his past traumatic experience as a child actor on the set of a family sitcom that costarred a chimpanzee named Gordy. During filming of an episode, Gordy reacted violently to the sound of popping balloons and attacked at least two of his human co-stars, but ultimately left Jupe completely unharmed, before being fatally shot by police.

One night, the Haywoods notice their electricity fluctuating and their horses violently reacting to an unknown presence. They discover an unidentified flying object (UFO) that has been taking their horses and spitting out the inorganic matter, which OJ concludes to have caused their father's death. The siblings decide to document and sell evidence of the UFO's existence, and recruit electronics store employee Angel Torres to set up surveillance cameras. The UFO arrives and abducts a horse as well as a plastic horse Em stole from Jupiter's Claim for use as a decoy.

The next day, Em attempts to recruit famed cinematographer Antlers Holst to help them record the UFO. Holst declines, telling Em that chasing wealth and fame is a "dream you will never wake up from." Angel then arrives and reveals that a cloud in the valley never moves; OJ suspects this is the UFO's hiding place before theorizing, based on the UFO's flight patterns, that it isn't a ship at all.

Jupe introduces a live show in Jupiter's Claim where he plans to use Lucky as bait to lure out the UFO. For months Jupe has been offering the UFO the Haywood's horses for shows. The UFO arrives earlier than expected and devours Jupe and everyone in attendance for the show (including his family and staff), ultimately leaving only Lucky alive. OJ, attempting to retrieve Lucky, confirms his theory that the UFO is actually a territorial, predatory organism. After the creature showers the Haywood household with the detritus and regurgitated remains of the Jupiter’s Claim crowd, OJ realizes that it only attacks those who look directly at it. He devises a plan to record it. Em and Angel are hesitant until Em receives a call from Holst, who now agrees to help. OJ names the organism "Jean Jacket", after a horse that Em as a child was promised to train.

To circumvent Jean Jacket's effect of shutting down all electronics nearby, Holst brings a hand-cranked IMAX film camera. The group plans to bait Jean Jacket with a field of electrically-powered tube man props to deduce its location in the sky. However, a TMZ paparazzo trespasses onto the field and is thrown from his electric motorcycle when it shuts down near Jean Jacket, which devours him. Though Holst captures footage of Jean Jacket, his obsession with "the impossible shot" results in him being devoured alongside his camera, forcing the remaining three to flee. Angel survives an attack from Jean Jacket by being wrapped in a tarp and barbed wire, causing the creature to unfurl into a new, larger form.

OJ intentionally looks directly at Jean Jacket, allowing Em to use the motorcycle to rush to Jupiter's Claim. There, she untethers the park's large helium balloon mascot of Jupe, the large eyes of which attract Jean Jacket's ire. Jean Jacket attempts to feed on the balloon while Em uses an attraction's analog camera to photograph Jean Jacket as it feeds. Its attempt to eat the perceived threat results in the balloon exploding, destroying Jean Jacket. With the picture as proof of the creature's existence and reporters arriving nearby, Em sees an unharmed OJ and Lucky standing outside of Jupiter's Claim.]

WOOO NOW ONTO MY THOUGHTS ON THE MOVIE

we know that 6 months before the events of the movie, oj and em's dad was killed from a nickel that came from the sky and hit him in the eye and went into his brain. in the beginning of that scene we hear a radio news broadcast about some missing hikers. SINCE LATER WE FIND OUT THAT JEAN JACKET SHOOTS OUT THE METAL THINGS HE CANT EAT THAT COIN HAD COME FROM THE HIKERS

ohoho jupe, he's such a well written character. he is so complex. he was traumatized as a child with the gordy incident. he was the only cast member (as far as we know) to come out completely unscathed,,, physically. ----- when oj is trying to set up a path of buying the horses back, jupe says "yeah yeah we can do that" (HE IS A LIAR). and while oj is talking to jupe about that, em interrupts asking about the gordy incident. -- JUPE'S REACTION IS SO INTERESTING, HE TAKES THEM INTO A ROOM WHICH IS DEDICATED TO THIS INCIDENT BUT HE DOESNT ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT THE INCIDENT, INSTEAD HE TALKS ABOUT THE SNL SKETCH!!! HE HAS TURNED HIS TRAUMA INTO ENTERTAINMENT!!! the way i saw it is that he subconciously thinks that entertainment is a purpose, and if he can turn that incident into something that can be consumed by others then what happened wasnt for nothing. what he went through wasnt just a pitiful event in his life. it was something to be consumed. it was a spectacle.

JUPE BELIEVED HE WAS SOME KIND OF CHOSEN ONE, first gordy didnt harm him (which was because of the tablecloth not their so called connection) SO HE THOUGHT HE ALSO HAD A CONNECTION WITH JEAN JACKET

in the opening scene we see the first assembly of photographs to create a motion picture, the jockey riding the horse is oj and em's great great great grandfather, AND IN COMPOSITION OF THE CLOSING SCENE, OJ IS FRAMED LIKE IT

aaauughh i just love that jean jacket was named after the horse that em was supposed to train, cuz it ended up being her who conquered and killed the alien in the end

I LOVE THAT ANGEL WAS JUST SOME RANDOM STORE EMPLOYEE WHO JUST DECIDED TO BE PART OF THE GANG, LIKE HE DIDNT KNOW THEM BEFOREHAND AND JUST DECIDED TO JOIN THEM ON THEIR SILLY LITTLE ADVENTURE

i feel like holst was a counterpart to jupe, cuz while jupe wanted to exploit jean jacket for money and clout, holst wanted to exploit jean jacket for his art,, and clout,,,, so they were both selfish but it does show that even when you dont exploit or take advantage something for money and just do it for art ITS STILL EXPLOITING

THE THING WITH THE TMZ GUY OUGH I LOVED THAT SCENE. OJ JUST TRIED TO HELP BUT THAT GUY WAS JUST FOCUSED ON GETTING THE CAMERA, AND THEN OJ'S EYES REFLECTED WHICH CAUSED JEAN JACKET TO NOTICE THEM OUUGHHHH

i love how jean jackets forms differentiate for the circumstances, when she's just the disk its just chillin, just feeding and leaving, but once all the stuff happens against it it starts to get more aggressive. so like most animals he makes themself appear bigger, making for a really good shots in the movie

THE PARALLELS BETWEEN GORDY AND JEAN JACKET ARE ALSO INTERESTING, BECAUSE JEAN JACKET ISNT THE VILLAIN, JUST THE ANTAGONIST,, JEAN JACKET IS AN ANIMAL WHO IS JUST EATING, GOING THROUGH THE NATURAL MOTIONS THAT COME WITH BEING ALIVE. AND SO WAS GORDY, GORDY WAS JUST REACTING TO THE SCARE THAT THE BALLOONS POPPING GAVE HIM

I NEED SOME AFTERMATH CONTENT NOWWW, LIKE WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE NEWS STATION? DID THEY CLEAN THE HOUSE? HOW DID EVERYONE COPE??? DID THEY GET THE FAME THEY WANTED!?? I NEED TO KNOW

ok ok so jupes made up aliens? the viewers? THEIR DESIGNS ARE ALSO ROOTED IN HIS TRAUMA,, THE HEADS LOOK LIKE THE CAMERAS USED IN THE FILMING OF THE SITCOM AND THE BODIES RESEMBLE THOSE OF A MONKEY

i would put a picture of gordy on here but it has blood and dont wanna have that here,,, so uhhh if you wanna see him just look up gordy nope

and now some shorter things i really liked

the day for night filming IS SO GOOD

the themes about spectacles and human nature

oj and em's relationship (the siblings ever)

JUPE'S WHOLE DEAL

LIKE HOLY CRAP HE LEAD ALL THOSE PEOPLE TO THEIR DEATH!???

the cinematography is just mmm chef's kiss

all the characters are just so genuine

,, yeah these are obviously not all my thoughts on this movie cuz i think about this movie a LOT,, but i didnt want to overload this thing

#nope 2022 #nope movie #nope film #nope #jex speaks #jex miscellaneous

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fibula-rasa · 1 year ago

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(Mostly) Lost, but Not Forgotten: A Thief in Paradise (1925)

Direction: George Fitzmaurice

Scenario: Frances Marion (learn more at the Women Film Pioneers Project)

Original Novel: Leonard Merrick’s “The Worldlings”

Camera: Arthur C. Miller

Set Design: Anton Grote

Studio: Goldwyn (production) & First National (distribution)

Performers: Doris Kenyon, Ronald Colman, Aileen Pringle, Claude Gillingwater, Alec B. Francis, John Patrick, Charles Youree, Etta Lee, Lon Poff

Polo Players: Nita Cavalier, Virginia Jolly, Martha Wing

Premiere: 25 January 1925 at the Strand, New York

Status: presumed lost, save for a trailer

Length: 7, 231-7,251 feet, or roughly 71 minutes. (8 reels)

Synopsis (synthesized from magazine summaries of the plot):

While pearl diving off the coast of a remote South Seas island, Philip Jardine (Youree) and Maurice Blake (Colman) have a vicious fight underwater over the possession of a valuable pearl. In the struggle, Jardine is cut and subsequently attacked by a shark and killed. Blake manages to escape to shore.

Aileen Pringle & Ronald Colman in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925

Rosa Carmino (Pringle), Jardine’s common-law wife, reveals to Blake that Jardine came from a wealthy family back in the United States. A letter and money has arrived to carry Jardine back home to San Francisco to reunite with his long-estranged father (Gillingwater). Carmino convinces Blake to assume Jardine’s identity. Blake Has doubts, but the promise of a fresh start leads him to accept the proposition. Blake and Carmino travel together to California.

The deception is successful and Blake begins running in high society where he meets Helen Saville (Kenyon). Saville is the daughter of a Bishop (Francis), who happens to be the elder Jardine’s best friend. The old men are keen on the relationship, but Blake is held back by guilt over his deception. Additionally, as part of the identity theft scheme, Blake is bankrolling Carmino’s luxurious bohemian lifestyle.

Top: Bathing Beauties in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925 | Bottom: Bathing Beauties in A Thief in Paradise from Screenland, February 1925

On the grounds of the Jardine estate, a bevy of bathing beauties decide to put on a polo match—blondes vs. brunettes. Saville is also spending the day riding, and her horse gets startled and bolts headlong toward a cliff. Blake springs into action and manages to save Saville at the last moment. Overwhelmed by the situation, Blake confesses his love for Saville. The exchange is overheard by Jardine and the Bishop.

Alec Francis, Claude Gillingwater, Doris Kenyon, & Ronald Colman in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925

Jardine throws an extravagant party where he announces the youngsters’ engagement. Unfortunately, Carmino is one of the entertainers hired for the party. Carmino performs a dramatic under-the-sea dance number that creatively retells the story of Blake and Jardine’s underwater battle. As it turns out, Carmino is in love with Blake and she is unpleasantly surprised with the engagement announcement. Carmino threatens to expose Blake. Blake attempts to pay her off.

Under-the-water dance sequence in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925

Blake and Saville are married and head off via airplane to Del Monte Beach for their honeymoon. Blake is overwhelmed with guilt and is working up the courage to make a full confession to Saville. Unbeknownst to Blake, Carmino has followed the couple. Carmino goes straight to Saville, but rather than revealing the deception, she claims that she is Blake’s mistress and that he has been keeping her. Carmino uses the pay-off check Blake gave her as evidence. Saville is heartbroken and immediately returns home.

Blake follows Saville back to San Francisco, where he confesses to both the elder Jardine and Saville. The old man’s heart is also broken as he has accepted Blake as his son and loved him as such. Blake is despondent and shoots himself.

Miraculously, Blake survives and Saville has chosen to stand by him and nurse him back to health. Jardine has accepted Blake as his true son, forgiving the deception. Carmino returns home.

Miscellaneous stills from A Thief in Paradise from Motion Picture News, 26 December 1925 [L to R: John Patrick, Aileen Pringle, Ronald Colman, Pringle, Pringle, Etta Lee, Colman, Doris Kenyon, Kenyon, Colman, Pringle]

Additional sequences featured in the film (but I’m not sure where they fit in the continuity):

Another dance sequence by Pringle as Carmino staged in her studio apartment

Aileen Pringle in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925

The Bishop Saville and Jardine play chess and the Bishops cheats, is caught by Jardine

Claude Gillingwater & Alec Francis in A Thief in Paradise from Motion Picture Magazine, March 1925

Four old men are left to care for a baby and are at a loss

Four old men (Alec B. Francis & Claude Gillingwater to right) in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925

A snafu regarding a taxicab losing its wheel, driver is upset

Taxicab snafu in A Thief in Paradise from Exhibitors Trade Review, 10 January 1925

---

Points of Interest:

Contemporary blurb that describes the under-the-sea dance sequence in more detail:

“By a combination of photography and set design, gigantic fish swim about among the coral trees and huge sea shells. Even the human participants in the under-sea dance make their entrance as divers swimming down from the surface to the immense shell on the ocean’s floor which serves as the hiding place of the stellar feminine dancer who is clad in a symbolic costume of pearls. “In order to enhance the brilliancy of the picture, the entire set, including coral, shells and floor of the sea, was finished in bright silver and the costumes of the dancers were made entirely of especially constructed luminous silver and gold cloth. Even the natural flicker of light and shadow which characterizes scenes actually filmed under water was reproduced by the technicians. “The marine dance tableau constitutes a play within a play in “A Thief in Paradise.” It is the entertainment provided by the host at a lavish engagement party given in honor of two of the principals and also has an important dramatic value in developing one of the many dramatic moments of the story.” - Moving Picture World, 10 January 1925

Based on some of the stills, I think it’s possible that Aileen Pringle may have had a double for this dance sequence, but no other dancers are credited. There is also no credit I could find for a choreographer.

The amount of pure spectacle packed into a mere seventy-one minutes is astounding to me! Knowing how skilled Frances Marion was as a scenarist, I don’t doubt that A Thief in Paradise managed to deliver plot just as well as it (according to contemporary reviews) delivered the spectacle. Film historians have been working for years to restore Marion’s rightful place as a crucial figure in American film history, so examples of her work being lost sting just that much more.

Despite the fact that A Thief in Paradise was a huge success and a top box-office draw of 1925, comparatively little digitized material exists online. Most notably absent are stills from the South Seas portion of the film.

This Ronald Colman fan website has some screenshots from the extant trailer as well as a digitized copy of a program from ATiP’s German release.

Hawaiian actress Etta Lee also appears in this film as Carmino’s maid. I ended up going down a bit of a rabbit hole reading about Lee and will probably end up doing a spin-off of this post about her career. You may recognize Lee from her roles in The Untameable (1923), The Toll of the Sea (1922), or The Thief of Baghdad (1924)

☕Appreciate my work? Buy me a coffee! ☕

---

Transcribed Sources & Annotations over on the WMM Blog!

#1920s #1925 #Ronald Colman #Aileen Pringle #Doris Kenyon #Etta Lee #george fitzmaurice #silent cinema #silent film #lost film #classic movies #classicfilmblr #american film #Goldwyn #silent movies #film history #history

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mikeepoo · 11 months ago

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Photo: C. 1883-1889. A 20-mule team before its 165-mile journey to the railhead in Mojave, California. Photo courtesy of the National Park Service The purpose of the twenty-mule-team wagons was to transport 10 short tons of borax ore per journey. The rear wheels, standing at a height of seven feet, were equipped with 1-inch-thick iron tires. The wagon beds, crafted from solid oak, measured 16 feet in length and 6 feet in depth, with an empty weight of 7,800 pounds. The convoy, extending over 180 feet with mules in tow, consisted of three wagons: the first as a trailer, the second known as "the tender" or the "back action," and the last serving as a water tank. When loaded with ore, the complete weight of the mule train, including the wagons, amounted to approximately 73,200 pounds. The water tank, holding 1,200 US gallons, supplied the mules with water during the journey. An additional 500-US-gallon wagon was occasionally appended to deliver water to a dry camp along the route. Over a span of six years, the teams successfully transported more than 20 million pounds of borax out of Death Valley. The horses, positioned as wheelers closest to the wagon, were ridden by one of the two individuals typically required to operate the wagons. While larger than the mules, the horses were considered less intelligent and less adaptable to desert conditions. Remi Nadeau's historical account, "Nadeau's Freighting Teams in the Mojave," highlights the mules' superiority for general use in the desert region. The teamster controlled the team using a single long rein, known as a "jerk line," aided by a lengthy blacksnake whip. Typically riding the left wheeler, the teamster could also operate from the trailer seat, managing the brake on steep descents. The swamper, usually riding the trailer, would be positioned on the back action in hilly terrain to operate the brake. Armed with a can of small rocks, the swamper could encourage an inattentive mule to return to work. Both men were responsible for preparing the team, tending to the mules' needs, and addressing any veterinary or repair requirements. A mid-day stop allowed for feeding and watering the mules in harness, while night stops provided corrals and feed boxes. Each day's travel averaged around 17 miles, and the entire one-way trip took approximately ten days. The company constructed cabins at night stops for the use of drivers and swampers.

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sidhewrites · 11 months ago

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Chapter 1! Here we meet our main character Zanna and her friends, and see the faire where she works. I'm still debating whether to have a year-round faire or take a more realistic route and have her be a barista the rest of the year. We'll see. Till then, read ye well gentlefriends!

Project Info

Next Chatper

Zanna was boiling under five layers of hand-sewn fabric, practically melting under the southern California sun. Granted, it was entirely her fault for deciding to make a perfectly accurate costume, rather than the more-breathable pieces most of her coworkers opted for, but it was the principle of the thing, damn it. Even if she was more sweat than woman. Olive, who was dressed as Queen Elizabeth, was similarly miserable, her little hand fan doing hardly anything as they looked down at the jousting ring below.

"Take your thirty after the joust," Zanna whispered, in that elegant, conspiratorial way expected of renaissance noblewomen. "If you don't strip down and jump into the lake, I will."

Olive bit down hard on her tongue, fighting not to break character, and she kicked Zanna as subtly as she could.

Not that anyone was looking at them anyway. But, again, it was the principle of the thing. They were positioned in a box of seats, about fifteen feet above the sandy arena surrounded by benches and pennants. The first two knights and their squires paraded in a circle around the arena, to the cheers and jeers of their guests. It was a normal crowd for a Saturday, with a mix of people in regular clothes and sunscreen, costumed visitors, and two furries. Zanna would have been sure they had dissolved into a puddle of sweat by now, were they not as enthusiastic as the rest of the crowd, if not moreso.

Olive kicked her again as [Name] announced the Blue and Red knights, and out came the biggest, beefiest man Zanna had ever met, and the most beautiful woman she'd ever known. Sir Carter and Lady Ellie had been dating for two years now, but that didn't make Zanna's heart leap any less as she turned her horse to the queen's box and raised her red flag in salute before trotting a ring around the arena, followed by Carter. Zanna wanted so badly to hate him for dating the woman of her dreams, but they were both incredibly -- almost painfully nice -- people, who always made sure there was enough water bottles in the cooler, and Carter offered shoulder massages to anyone who looked like they needed it.

"How are the sword lessons going?" The only reason Olive didn't waggle her eyebrows at Zanna was because she was good at staying at character, but there was enough smarm in her voice that the effect was basically the same.

After making sure her expression didn't move an inch, Zanna leaned over and muttered, "I'll kill you."

"That's treason. I'll send you to the pillory."

"Would you two shut up?" another one of the nobles muttered.

"That's treason," Olive answered.

"Send him to the pillory," Zanna added.

The nobleman groaned.

The joust went on. There were three rounds, and Ellie performed poorly in all of them. In the first, the knights had to hook three hanging rings onto their lances for a certain number of points, and Ellie managed to only get the largest one. In the second, the knights had to pierce a small shield, which she missed entirely. And in the last round where the nights went up against each other in a true joust, Carter unseated her in the first round, earning him enough points that it wasn't worth continuing. She made a show of not minding, waving to the crowd with a smile, but Zanna made a note to check on her as soon as they were done here. She would not be happy with her performance, but everyone had off days.

The crowd applauded, and Olive descended the stairs to the field they called backstage, followed by the rest of the group in the noble's box. Three different trailers held costumes and props, and, most importantly, air conditioning and refrigerated drinks. Musicians and actors dressed as lesser nobility had been enjoying their break, but they clocked back in and prepared for the procession as Olive hopped into her sedan chair. Zanna spared a glance to the stables on the other side of the field, where the knights were tending to their horses.

Ellie sat on a barrel, face in her dirt-covered hands. She'd torn her red hair from her ponytail and it hung over her face. Carter did his best to brush it back, but she shoved him off, and cursed something Zanna couldn't hear from her spot in the procession. They lined up in pairs, and four of their strongest men lifted the queen's sedan, while the caller raised his pennant and the drummer began.

"Make way for the queen!" he shouted. The drummer set their pace, and the procession made a slow trek out from backstage into the main walkway where Faire guests ambled about, spending far too much money on food and convincing themselves they didn't regret buying a turkey leg. Many of the more experienced guests knew to bow as the queen went past, waving and smiling, while the rest either photographed or ignored the procession entirely. Zanna kept her facade for most of the way, keeping a serene smile, but beamed at the sight of two little Black girls dressed as princesses with sparkly plastic tiaras. They couldn't have been more than four, maybe five. Zanna herself was one of only three Black actors in the procession this year, and she wasn't about to pass by without waving. She'd have to go find them after checking on Ellie and give them something special.

They crossed the entirety of the fairgrounds, past the food court and the line of shops, the various stages and performers, the fairy garden, the petting zoo, and the small dirt-paved street that was lined with games, both on-theme and bought secondhand from an amusement park that shut down a few years back. Finally, they arrived at the Queen's Tea Garden, a lavishly decorated outside salon with benches and tea and flower garlands. Park goers payed extra for the honor of being allowed to dine with the queen, enjoying finger sandwiches and iced drinks, and where Zanna shone.

Four times throughout the day, Zanna provided etiquette lessons to the guests, offering a mix of humor and accuracy and giving a shallow overview of Renaissance clothing, manners, theater, and miscellanea. She also had two less historically accurate shows where she tried her best to provide lectures, but the Washing Wenches* would always hop in and ruin her serious, boring lecture with bawdy jokes and songs. At some point they usually wound up sitting on the laps of burly men in the first few rows, while Zanna obliged their demands with a few raunchy tales of history as well.

But first, break. The procession passed the Queen's Tea Garden. Olive was released from her sedan, and Zanna made a beeline over to take her arm, and force her to clock out for her thirty. "Drink water, okay?"

"Okay, mom. Thank you. Love you."

"I love you, too. Be good or I'll put you in timeout." Olive blew her a kiss, hiked up her skirts, and made a mad dash around the back to the stables to check on Ellie. A new layer of sweat painted her face, and a few of her microbraids had fallen out of her updo. Still, she managed to make it there alive, and slowed to a walk as she finally neared the stables.

As sexy as Ellie looked riding around on Squidney, or in her tank top and jeans brushing the horse down, Zanna had no interest in getting near an animal that big and that easy to scare. She stood ten feet away and put on a terrible western accent to say, "Howdy."

Ellie looked up with a tired grin. "Hey. You look wet."

"Oh. I..." Don't think about it like that, Zanna forced herself to say, gesticulating uselessly to her face. She's straight, don't you dare. "I ran over here, and it's April, so..."

"Gross. Get some water."

"I will. I just wanted to check on you first."

"Check on me? Why?" She huffed a breath out, blowing loose horse fur out from her nose.

"You're having a seriously off day. You doing okay?"

"Eh."

"Eh?"

"Eh."

"You want to elaborate, or...?" She gestured uselessly again.

"No, I just... I dunno. I didn't sleep last night. Neighbors kept setting off fireworks."

There was more to it than that. There had to be more to it than that, but Zanna didn't want to push too hard when Ellie was still in a bad mood. They'd been friends ever since Ellie joined, fresh from her stunt woman job and ready for literally anything else that didn't require her dealing with actors or wigs for the rest of her life. This was close enough. So instead, Zanna got as close as she dared to Squidney and tried to reach out and pet her nose. She was a beautiful brown horse with a white stripe down her face. She also was probably eight hundred pounds and could bite Zanna's fingers off.

"Stop it," Ellie said without looking up.

"What?"

"Stop it. You hate horses. Stop trying to be nice to her. She doesn't care."

"Sure she does. We're best friends. Squidney loves me."

"She has the object permanence of a toddler, and she only cares about you if you have food. You don't have to be friends."

"But we love each other. It's a forbidden romance. But we can never be together because our parents are kings of warring countries and they'd never approve."

Squidney sorted. So did Ellie. "God, you're so weird." She finally stepped away from the mare's side to stick out a foot. It was too hot and Ellie was covered in too much dirt for a proper hug, but Zanna returned the gesture, tapping their sneakers together. "What the hell are those?"

"My shoes." Zanna pouted.

"Ew. Why?"

"Let me live." The shoes were necessary, much to her eternal chagrin. She had flat feet and her knees never stopped hurting after that last growth spurt in high school, and the special inserts she'd gotten only fit in specific shoes meant for old people.

"Literally never."

"Have you had any water yet, or have you just been brushing your baby and brooding?"

Ellie shrugged.

"I'll get you some from the break room. Snacks?"

"Apple please."

"I mean snacks for you,"

Ellie scoffed, indignant. "It is for me! I want an apple!"

Zanna made a face, and waved her away, turning towards the break room trailer. "Okay, but if you give Squid even one bite before you're done eating it--"

"I only did that once! And I was done eating it!"

Zanna waved without looking back, which she thought looked extremely cool.

She found Carter in the break room, downing a sandwich like he'd never eaten before, and he looked up with a grin. He'd swapped out his chainmail and tunic for nothing at all, and sat in his shorts directly in front of the fan. Ever the ray of sunshine, Carter tried to open his mouth and say something nice, but managed nothing more than a houmf, and flushed.

"Indeed, Sir Carter. The day is as lovely as your biceps." She rooted around the fridge while he finished his bite.

When he could talk again, he said, "Sorry. I wasn't expecting you. You see Ellie? She's having a seriously off day."

"Yeah. Apparently the neighbors were setting off firecrackers or something?"

"Honestly. You know it's illegal here, right?"

Zanna scoffed, and stood up, examining her treasures. Two apples, and four bottles of water, one of which she tossed to Carter.

He caught it effortlessly, and made a face. "It's like you want everybody to pee so much."

"I fainted from dehydration once. I'm not letting anyone else get heatstroke on my watch."

He blew a raspberry. Zanna returned the favor, and stopped before leaving the trailer. "We still on for sword fighting lessons after work?"

"Always."

"Awesome. See you then."

She skipped back to the stables once more, and hoped she'd burnt enough calories with all that running to justify not going to the gym ever again. She handed one apple to Ellie, and then stared Squidney down with a set jaw.

Ellie, perched once more on a barrel, downed half the bottle of water and sighed. "Literally stop. You literally suck."

"We're best friends."

"Hold your hand flat or she'll eat your fingers."

Zanna did so, holding out the apple in the middle of her palm, standing as still as she possibly could. Squidney sniffed at it, flicked her tail, and picked up the whole apple at once. Her lips were gross and weird and slightly fuzzy against Zanna's skin, and she fought the urge to rub it against her skirt to get the feeling off. Squidney managed to get one bite in before the apple fell to the grass and rolled just far enough away that she couldn't reach it. She nickered in complaint, and Zanna stepped back, unwilling to deal with that again.

Ellie tilted her head, one brow raised. "You are the pinnacle of animal handling."

"I think I'm going to die."

"She barely touched you."

"Goodbye. This is my death."

"Stop."

Zanna did stop, but only because her phone buzzed in her pocket -- the only other historical inaccuracy she allowed herself. The shift manager wanted to know where she was, probably because there was some tiny issue he didn't want to deal with himself, and Zanna was willing to do almost anything if they asked her nicely enough.

"Your lord summons you, Lady Suzanna."

"Until tonight, Lady Ellie."

She frowned before remembering: "Oh shit, sword lessons are tonight? Text me what kind of burrito you want, I'll get you something."

"I would die for you."

"I'd kill you." Ellie grinned, and they tapped shoes once more before Zanna made her way back to the other side of the park, where Olive had dropped her wig in the dirt. Zanna, being Zanna, had a full costume maintenance kit, and set to brushing it without disturbing the elaborate heart-shaped updo or the countless pearls and jewels sewn in to complement the removable crown. As thanks, Olive slipped into plainclothes to sneak out and get her a smoothie from one of the food kiosks.

Zanna put up a small fight about it, but not too hard, because, smoothie. But it was what she did. Nobody worked at a living museum/theme park because it paid well -- it didn't -- or because they liked standing around in hot clothes in ninety degree weather. They were all here because they loved what they did, and Zanna wouldn't let any of that be compromised because of a bit of mud or a stain on a skirt or one of the countless spilled beers from a careless guest.

By the time her break ended, the Queen Elizabeth wig was looking brand new, and Zanna had downed half an acai-blueberry smoothie. She'd take care of the rest of it and eat her lunch later. For now, though, she fixed her hair, and put on a smile to face the public.

Tag list:

@ambreeskyewriting

@emabatis

@vigilantdesert

#ren faire lesbians #writeblr #writing #mystuff #original fiction #wip #wlw #wlw fiction #rom com #romcom #queer fiction #queer author #wlw romance #original fantasy #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity

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sims4t2bb · 1 year ago

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weekly update

Hello everyone, and happy Monday! This post’s a tiny bit late because both @lafeeverte-sims and I (@twentyfourfirst-sims) have been swamped at work, but we’re getting through it! 🙏🏻

This week’s updates can be found, as always, under the cut. We hope your week’s not as busy as ours, and has all of the best things in it — onwards and upwards! ✨

Base Game

S. Cargeaux Counter, S. Cargeaux Counter Cabinet, and S. Cargeaux Counter Island conversions by @balkopat have been added.

Expansion Packs

Get Famous

Recolors of The Swan Throne and Sumptuous Swan Sink by @communicores have been added.

Growing Together

Debug California Poppy conversion by @tvickiesims has been added.

Horse Ranch

Chestnut Saloon Bar, Mud Room Cubby, Ranch Community Board, Ranch Dude Hanging Clothes, Ranch Dudette Hanging Clothes, Ranch Star Shelf, Riders’ Glen Barn Quilt, Shortwave Shindig Radio, Softly Spoke n’ Petals, “Spirit of the Seeker” Lifesize Horse Statue, and more conversions by @enjatoki have been added.

Horseshoe Topiary, “Spirit of the Seeker” Lifesize Horse Statue, Brand Bearer Ranch Sign: Ace High, Brand Bearer Ranch Sign: Fair-n-Square, and Rustic Welcoming Archway conversions by @cozy-sims have been added.

Just Horsing Around Trailer and debug Farm Truck, Flower Stump, Hitching Post, Junk Car, Mailboxes, Milk Can, Mystical Shack, Old Well, Silo, White Mini Goat, White Mini Sheep, and Windmill conversions by @kestrelteens have been added.

#weekly update

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thesims4blogger · 1 year ago

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youtube

Video Shows Breland, Trixie Mattel and Compton Cowboys playing “Horse Ranch”

A new promo video for The Sims 4 Horse Ranch Expansion Pack has been shared on The Sims official social media channels. This time, it shows celebrity guests playing the pack at “The Sims Hitching Post” during Stagecoach, a country music festival in California.

Breland, Trixie Mattel and Compton Cowboys react to horses in the game and their stories with country music culture. Their Sims versions can also be seen square dancing, and Trixie’s simself is also seen riding a glittery pink horse accessorized with a fake unicorn horn.

Speaking of Breland, his song “Natural” is the soundtrack to the reveal trailer for Horse Ranch. The Sims has also shared a Sims Sessions video with him, which shows the process behind recording the song in Simlish.

The Sims 4 Horse Ranch Expansion Pack comes out on July 20th.

#news #Youtube #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4

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demonqueen-beastmaster · 2 years ago

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Ropin’ Ranch Auction Awareness

Bowie Livestock Auction/Bowie Kill-pen is in Bowie Texas. It runs on the first weekend of every month. Horses are brought in within the prior week and placed into pens. This would normally be a fun event - however horses are considered livestock and therefore horses with physical abuse are dropped off and forced to await the actual auction Sunday Night. Horses in dire need of vet care have to undergo the pain of waiting - and sometimes don’t make it until Sunday night. All Seated In A Barn is a rescue located in Bakersfield California - with a new facility in Milsap Texas. They go to this auction every month in order to try and get horses out. Horses who do not sell - are given to the kill-pen Monday afternoon - horses who ended at the Kill-pen (normally 100-150 horses) are loaded onto a trailer and will make it’s way to Mexico. Horses will have to go another 48-72 hours without food, water or sunlight. This event that we hold every month is to bring awareness to this awful system. https://www.ropinranch.com/ThePipeline.php

#tw animal abuse #ropin' ranch #horses #Bowie Livestock Auction #All Seated In A Barn

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wandaluvstacos · 2 years ago

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THE ONLY SECONDS THAT MATTER

CHAPTER FOURTEEN IS UP!

Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: 18+

Includes: Extensive horse nerdery + cowboys, mxm romance (1 trans + 1 cis), some discussion child abuse, some instances of trans/homophobia (it is rural Oklahoma, y'all), depression, occasional sex scene (but it’s a slow burn for sure)

Victor Ortiz-Bennett had some reservations about moving to Oklahoma, but his late aunt willed him a 70-acre horse farm, and he decides to fulfill his dream of running and operating his own training facility. Victor’s been around the reining horse show circuit for a while, and he’s ready to settle down, travel less, and spend more time with the horses he loves and away from the people he can do without. That is, until he picks up a horse at an auction with a bucking problem he can’t fix, and he has to take her to the one guy who can ride anything– Johnny Stearns, a retired professional rodeo rider.

Johnny Stearns is loud, chatty, eccentric, and fears nothing, exactly Victor’s opposite. However, Victor finds himself sinking into an odd friendship with this new foul-mouthed cowboy without a filter, diving deeper into the mess that is Johnny’s life until there’s no way to extract himself from it. Johnny may talk a tough game, but there’s more to him than he’ll let most people see. Victor knows getting in too deep will mean a rough ride, but if there’s anything Johnny’s taught him, it’s how to stay in the saddle.

Excerpt:

What are you doing here?” Victor asked.

“Uh, well…” Johnny cleared his throat, sounding unsure of himself. “I came with Sarah. You remember Sarah?”

“Your friend from high school?”

“Yeah, her sister’s… you know. Gay. So she asked if I wanted to come with her and I figured it might be fun.”

Victor stared at him, still too stunned for the information to sink in. When it did, the heart in his throat slowly started drifting back down into his chest. “Oh. So you’re not—I mean. This is just for Sarah’s sister. You know her?”

“She’s nice, yeah. She and Sarah are close.” Johnny paused, turning to stare out into the darkness for a moment. An announcer could be heard in the distance as the crowd clapped. “I guess this means you’re, uh—”

“Gay? Yeah.” It felt weird to say it out loud. After coming out as trans to his family back in California, he’d fallen out of practice with the act of talking about it. He’d been terrified of Johnny knowing, afraid that Johnny would reject him and the friendship they’d built over months would be reduced to rubble. A glimmer of hope spread through him, because even if Johnny was only here as some kind of straight ally for his friend’s sister, it meant that he could accept Victor for who he was, and Victor didn’t have to go through all the hoops required to hide it.

“I didn’t know that,” Johnny muttered. “You coulda told me.”

“I didn’t know how you felt about gay people,” Victor admitted. Should he also tell him he was trans? May be it was best to do one thing at a time, really test the waters before diving in. “This is rural Oklahoma. Can’t blame me for being paranoid.”

“I know I’m dumb white trash, but I ain’t no Bible thumper. It don’t matter to me.”

Victor let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear it.”

“I never even thought—I mean you don’t act—” Johnny cut himself off and cleared his throat again. “I ain’t about to put my foot in my mouth, but you know what I mean.”

Victor had to laugh a little. “I can be gayer, I’m just stealthy for safety reasons.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Johnny paused again. “You’re a decent calf roper.”

“Thanks. It’s not really my forte, but I thought I’d give it a shot.”

“You here with Jade?”

“No, I came alone.”

“You need help with anythin’?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thank you though.”

Johnny turned toward the trailer, glancing toward the truck and then back. “This thing got livin’ quarters in it?”

“It’s just a small space, but yeah.”

Johnny’s response didn’t come immediately, but finally he faced Victor and asked, “Can I take a look?”

#The Only Seconds that Matter #update #excerpt #patreon #my writing #original fiction #lgbtq fiction

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rockingyranch1 · 1 month ago

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Book Trusted Nationwide Horse Transport Today

Rocking Y Ranch offers reliable, secure nationwide horse transport for your horse, ensuring safe and stress-free travel. With experienced handlers and top-quality vehicles, your horse will be transported comfortably and securely. Customized solutions are available for any breed or size, providing peace of mind throughout the journey. Benefits include experienced team, comfortable, climate-controlled vehicles, GPS tracking, flexible scheduling, and competitive pricing.Contact Us Now.

#horse shipping california #horse trailering california #nationwide horsetransport #nationwideshipping #horse moving california #california #bestcompany #best offer

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blubushie · 2 years ago

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My big brother rode an Indian Scout It was black like his jacket American Spirit hanging out of his mouth Just like our daddy He kickstarted that bike one night And broke Mama's heart He pointed that headlight west Out where the wild things are

He'd call me up every couple of weeks From south California Talk about the desert and the Joshua Tree And his pretty girl stories And how he bought an Airstream trailer And a J-45 guitar Said, "Little brother, you'd love it out here Out where the wild things are"

Oh, it's hearts on fire and crazy dreams Oh, the nights ignite like gasoline And light up those streets that never sleep When the sky goes dark Out where the wild things are

I called my brother from the back of that plane The second I made it We started drinking on the strip in LA And then it got crazy Ended up at a house in the hills With some Hollywood stars Kissing on a blonde in a backyard pool Out where the wild things are

Oh yeah

Couple of Iron Horse rebels Wild as the devil I knew I had to move back east Said goodbye to my brother At the end of that summer But I knew he'd never leave

Oh, it's hearts on fire and crazy dreams Oh, and the nights ignite like gasoline And oh, them Indian Scouts, man They're built for speed And oh, they said he hit that guardrail At half-past three And lit up those streets that never sleep When the sky goes dark We buried him out in the wind 'Neath the west coast stars Out where the wild things are Out where the wild things are

"Out Where the Wild Things Are" by Luke Combs

#blu tunes

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candy-floss-crazy · 27 days ago

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Some of the ride manufacturers out there are universally known throughout the world. The big boys, Mack, KMG, Chance are all household names (well within funfair and amusement operators households). Our name this week isn't one we have heard much about. Possibly because it was folded into the Chance rides organisation in 1986. Beverley Park In 1945 Dave Bradley and Don Kaye purchased Beverley Park in Los Angeles from the Frock and Meyer Amusement Company. Aiming for the family market they filled the park with children's rides, believing that the park should be spotless, and that the customers needed to look like they were enjoying themselves. Dave Bradley was an economics graduate who held an impressive catalogue of career changes. He worked as a reporter, managed the big bands of Freddy Martin and Russ Morgan, worked as a production manager at a radio stations, and a toolmaker for Lockheed Martin. The park is credited as the inspiration for Disneyland, with Disney and his daughters being regular visitors, indeed Dave Bradley assisted Walt Disney in the planning of the original Disneyland, travelling throughout Europe to photograph rides for him, and working as a consultant on the original Disneyland. Dave's first wife Bernice had worked in the Disney Studios research department, before leaving to help run the park full time. Throughout the 40's, 50's and 60's most of the major Hollywood stars visited the park with their children, with Errol Flynn, Lana Turner and Carol Burnett being regulars. Don Kaye decided to return to his roots in the music business, leaving the company in the hands of his partner, who decided to leave the name unchanged. 1947 saw the company designing a mini roller coaster for kids, called the little dipper. This was licensed to the Allan Herschell company, one of the countries biggest manufacturers. This was a portable ride which could be carried on a 20ft trailer. The Red Baron A popular aeroplane themed ride was introduced in 1972, being delivered to Opryland. Based on the WW1 German Ace pilot of that name, the rides were themed with red triplanes and on some white planes decorated up with the British Flying Corps roundel. Dave Bradley realised at this point that a full time manufacturing facility was needed to keep pace with the orders they were receiving. this was set up in Long Beach California. During the first half of the 70's Bradley & Kaye built Red Barons, Jeep rides, Dark rides, stunt rides and more. The company seemed to quite happy with custom commissions, and introduced an innovative small coaster for Storeyland. Called the 'Ice Berg Coaster' it followed the contours of the land through the park, skimming across a lake, and dropping down a cliff. One highly advanced ride the company came up with was the Barnstormer. Kind of like a modern starflyer, but instead of seats the riders were in aeroplanes, which circled 100ft off the ground. The advanced part was the ability of the planes to dive 50ft under the riders control. The ride only operated a few seasons, never quite agreeing with the winds encountered 100ft up. Carousels Dave Bradley was an acknowledged expert in Carousel working on this genre of ride as far back as 1951. He was employed by the great Alfred Hitchcock as an adviser for the carousel scene on the film 'Strangers On A Train.' Bradley took moulds from a number of classic carousel horses present on historic rides. He developed new fabrication methods and became highly regarded for these. Indeed this was one of the reasons that Chance Rides took over the company, to access this 'stable' of horse designs. A log Flume was produced in 1978 for Hot Springs Arkansas. A1200 ft model with two lifts, based on an unusual chain lift mechanism, rather than the normal belts. They also produced a number of custom rides for Canada's Wonderland, and dual swinging boats for Little England in Florida. 1986 saw the Bradley & Kaye draw to a close as it was taken over by the Chance Ride group. They wanted their elaborate collection of horse moulds, and another innovative name faded into relative obscurity. Sources; The Amusement Parkives https://amusementparkives.com/2016/11/29/bradley-kaye-balloon-flite/ KCET https://www.kcet.org/history-society/beverly-park-and-ponyland-the-kiddieland-that-inspired-walt-disney Read the full article

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theultimateescaperooms · 2 months ago

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Discover Solvang: The Best Outdoor and Indoor Activities for Families

Solvang, a charming Danish-inspired village nestled in the Santa Ynez Valley, offers an enchanting mix of outdoor and indoor activities perfect for families. With its quaint streets, unique attractions, and family-friendly ambiance, Solvang is a hidden gem on California's central coast. Whether you're looking to explore nature, dive into history, or experience thrilling adventures, Solvang has something for everyone in the family.

Best Outdoor Activities for Families in Solvang

Hans Christian Andersen Park

Hans Christian Andersen Park is one of Solvang’s top outdoor spots for families. Named after the famous Danish author, this park is perfect for children to run around and explore. The park offers a large playground area, picnic spaces, and even a skate park for older kids.

One of the highlights of Hans Christian Andersen Park is the natural setting, surrounded by oak trees and offering trails for hiking. It’s a wonderful spot for a family picnic, and the open spaces provide plenty of room for kids to enjoy some outdoor fun. With a serene environment and a touch of fairy tale magic, this park is an ideal place for families to relax and enjoy the beauty of Solvang.

Tip for visitors - Bring along a packed lunch and make use of the picnic areas for a relaxed meal under the shade of the oak trees. Kids can enjoy the playground while adults take in the peaceful surroundings.

Alisal Guest Ranch & Resort

If your family enjoys horseback riding and outdoor adventures, the Alisal Guest Ranch & Resort is a must-visit destination. Located just a few miles from Solvang, this ranch offers a variety of family-friendly activities, including horseback riding, fishing, hiking, and golf.

Families can explore the scenic trails on horseback, experiencing the natural beauty of the Santa Ynez Valley. There are also fishing lakes and guided nature walks, making it a great spot for both outdoor adventure and wildlife exploration.

Why it’s perfect for families - The resort caters to families, offering kid-friendly activities and a welcoming environment. Whether you’re riding horses or enjoying a relaxing day by the lake, the ranch offers a true outdoor escape.

Solvang Trolley & Carriage Tours

For a unique way to see Solvang, hop aboard the Solvang Trolley, a horse-drawn carriage that takes visitors on a scenic tour through the village. The trolley ride is a delightful experience for children and adults alike, offering a relaxing and informative way to see the town's iconic windmills, Danish bakeries, and historical landmarks.

The guides are friendly and knowledgeable, often sharing interesting facts and stories about Solvang’s Danish heritage. It’s a perfect family-friendly activity that combines sightseeing with a touch of old-world charm.

Family-friendly - This activity is perfect for younger kids who may not be able to walk long distances. The leisurely pace and informative tour make it fun and educational.

Cycling Around Solvang

Solvang is well-known for its cycling culture, and biking around the village is an enjoyable way to explore with your family. The streets are lined with beautiful Danish-style architecture, and there are plenty of scenic bike paths that take you through vineyards, countryside, and more.

Many local shops rent bikes, including tandem bikes for families who want to ride together. If your family enjoys a bit of exercise with stunning views, cycling around Solvang is a fantastic way to spend a day.

Why it’s great for families - With plenty of safe bike paths and gorgeous surroundings, this is a great activity for families who want to explore Solvang at their own pace. Younger children can ride in bike trailers, making it an activity everyone can enjoy.

Sunny Fields Park

Another great outdoor destination for families is Sunny Fields Park. This park is designed with a whimsical, medieval theme, making it a hit with children. The large wooden play structure includes castles, towers, bridges, and slides, allowing kids to use their imagination as they play.

With plenty of shaded picnic areas, Sunny Fields Park is a great spot for families to spend a relaxing afternoon. The open grassy areas are perfect for a game of soccer or frisbee, and the playground itself provides hours of entertainment for younger children.

Perfect for young families - The park is a safe, enclosed space where kids can run freely, and the medieval-themed playground adds a fun twist that makes it more than just an ordinary park.

Best Indoor Activities for Families in Solvang

While Solvang’s sunny weather makes outdoor activities highly appealing, the town also offers exciting indoor adventures that are perfect for a change of pace or when you need a break from the heat. One of the most thrilling indoor experiences for families is visiting The Ultimate Escape Rooms.

The Ultimate Escape Rooms

If your family loves a good challenge and enjoys solving puzzles, The Ultimate Escape Rooms in Solvang is a must-visit. Escape rooms are immersive experiences where you and your team must work together to solve puzzles, uncover clues, and “escape” from a themed room before time runs out.

The Ultimate Escape Rooms offers a variety of themed rooms, each designed with intricate storylines and interactive elements that will engage both kids and adults. Whether you’re working together to uncover the Phantom of the Big Top, solve the Gold Fever, or escape from The Mischievous Nisse, these escape rooms provide an adrenaline-pumping adventure that will have everyone in the family involved.

Why it’s one of the best indoor activities - Escape rooms are a fantastic way to bond as a family, encouraging teamwork, critical thinking, and communication. Plus, the immersive themes and exciting challenges make it an unforgettable experience for all ages.

Tip for families - Make sure to book your escape room experience in advance, especially on weekends or holidays, as slots can fill up quickly.

Solvang Vintage Motorcycle Museum

For families who enjoy history and unique collections, the Solvang Vintage Motorcycle Museum offers a fascinating indoor adventure. The museum houses an impressive collection of rare and vintage motorcycles, as well as European racing bikes. It’s a great way to introduce children to mechanical history and learn about the evolution of motorcycles.

The museum is small but packed with interesting exhibits, making it easy to explore with kids. The friendly staff is always happy to answer questions and provide insights into the history of each bike on display.

Family-friendly - Even if you're not a motorcycle enthusiast, the museum offers a fun and educational experience. It's a unique way to spend a few hours indoors, learning about engineering and design in a family-friendly environment.

Elverhøj Museum of History & Art

The Elverhøj Museum of History & Art is another excellent indoor destination for families visiting Solvang. Dedicated to preserving Solvang’s Danish heritage, the museum offers interactive exhibits that highlight the town's history, culture, and art.

Children will enjoy the hands-on exhibits, and the museum regularly hosts family-friendly events and activities. It’s a great way to learn about the cultural roots of Solvang while exploring artifacts, paintings, and exhibits that showcase the town’s unique Danish-American history.

Educational and fun - The museum offers an engaging way for families to learn more about the cultural significance of Solvang, and kids will appreciate the interactive elements that make history come to life.

Old Mission Santa Inés

If your family enjoys exploring historical landmarks, Old Mission Santa Inés is a must-see while visiting Solvang. Founded in 1804, this beautifully preserved mission offers a glimpse into California’s rich history. The mission grounds include a museum, chapel, and picturesque gardens.

The museum displays artifacts from the mission’s history, and the peaceful gardens are a lovely place for a family stroll. It's an educational experience that offers a look into the early days of California, making it a meaningful stop on your family adventure.

Tip for families - Make sure to take a family photo in front of the mission's bell tower, one of the most iconic landmarks in Solvang.

Solvang is a perfect destination for families looking to explore both outdoor and indoor activities. From the natural beauty of parks and horseback riding at Alisal Ranch to the thrilling challenges of The Ultimate Escape Rooms, this charming village offers endless opportunities for fun and adventure. If you are looking for team indoor fun in Solvang,The Ultimate Escape Rooms is the best option. Contact them via email or by calling 805-857-0777.

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