#Hopefully everyone is chill with me taking forever >_<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[tiniest-headcrab-art]

I haven't forgotten about the asks, I am just,, uh,,,,, i,,,, ummmm,,,,

[hangup119]

don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)

being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.

pairing. han taesan x fem. reader

genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse

playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens

expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words

author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days

@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!

IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.

To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.

Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.

Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 

And that’s when it hit him. 

It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 

“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”

Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 

Taesan only grunted in return. 

“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 

Taesan paused.

Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 

Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 

“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.

“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 

“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 

Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 

Leehan hummed. 

“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 

Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.

Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 

He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 

Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 

Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 

And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 

Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 

Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 

And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 

It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 

Though, if only it was that easy.

Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.

Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 

He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 

…And what did that make Taesan?

So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 

How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 

And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 

Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 

And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.

story by hangup119. do not steal.

[azriels-shadowsinger]

“All you do is push me away. I'm done. Whatever this is, it's done.”

Azriel x Reader

wc: 2.3k

a/n: responding to this request. sorry this took forever, i started my new job this week! also, thank you for 400 followers!!

prompt list

“It will be fine, y/n!” Feyre reassures, rubbing a gentle hand down your back. You bite your lip anxiously.

“I don't know, Fey. It's already awkward enough trying to introduce my boyfriend to the high lord and lady, the general, and scariest of all, Amren.” You chuckle. “But seriously, I’m even more worried about Azriel. He’s been so weird and distant since we ended our... situationship?” You sigh heavily. “Whatever it was, he got all weird when it ended. I’m worried he’s gonna make tonight weird.” You whine.

“Rhys already talked to him. Azriel promised to be welcoming.” Feyre reassures

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” You grumble. Truthfully, you knew very little about your new boyfriend, Wesley, and you had no idea how he would behave around your friends, but when Cassian caught you on a second date and blabbed about your new boyfriend to everyone, you had no choice but to introduce him to the group. Hopefully, Feyre was right that everything would be fine.

———

Everyone at the table was visibly uncomfortable, thanks to Azriel. He had spent the first half of dinner in a very tense silence, ignoring everyone’s attempts to interact with him. He only responded with mocking laughs under his breath at every other thing Wesley said. Rhys had tried to speak to Azriel in his mind, Feyre told you, but his walls were up and he refused to drop them.

You thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, but once the final course came out, Azriel switched from chilling silence to obnoxiously challenging everything you or Wesley said. You were going to kill him.

“So what do you do for fun, Wesley?” Feyre asks, attempting to alleviate tension.

“Uh, I like studying history.” He answers quietly. Azriel chokes down a laugh, and you internally groan at the most boring answer he could’ve chosen.

“Hm, that's weird y/n. I thought your usual type was...” Azriel eyes Wesley with distaste “much different.” You scowl at Azriel.

“I don’t have a type, Azriel.” You say defensively. “And if I did, it would be Wesley.”

“Sure it would.” He says smugly. “I seem to recall you have a preference for tougher guys, specifically Illyrians-“

“That is enough, Az.” Rhys commands, cutting Azriel off and using his high lord voice. Everyone sits quietly, not sure what to say next.

“I think I should leave.” Wesley says uncomfortably, breaking the silence and moving to stand. “Goodnight everyone, it was wonderful to meet you all.” He says with a forced smile before heading towards the door. You hurry after him, heels clicking loudly on the floor.

“Wes, please stay! There’s dessert, and I promise it won't be as awkward. I’ll make him leave.” You beg once you two are out of earshot.

“Don’t bother. You didn’t tell me you used to date him. That would’ve been great information to have going into tonight.”

“We never-“ he cuts you off.

“Save it. I have no interest in competing with the fucking spymaster. You are not worth the effort.” You visibly flinch at the harsh words and tears begin to form in your eyes, as he turns away. “I’ll see you around.” He mutters and leaves.

———

When you return to the dining room, Azriel is sitting there with a victorious smirk on his face, eating his dessert. One look at the rage in your eyes, and everyone else had the bright idea to leave you two alone.

“Are you happy now?” You holler.

“Kinda, yeah.” He says smugly. You let out a frustrated groan.

“You spiteful, ignorant, selfish male!” He laughs slightly at your outburst.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? Could Wesley not take a little joke?” He grins.

“He broke up with me because of your gods damn immaturity!”

“Good. You can do better, he doesn’t deserve you.” Azriel replies nonchalantly.

“What the hell is your problem? Is this because I ended things between us?” That causes him to freeze, dropping any amusement from his face.

“No.”

“It is, isnt it? Well guess who’s fault that was! You don’t date, you told me so yourself. And any time I tried to get closer to you, you put up walls and shut me out.“ you let out an exasperated sigh. “Even now, all you do is push me away. So you know what Azriel? I'm done. Whatever this is, it's done.”

“There’s nothing to end, we aren’t dating. We aren't even fucking anymore.” He spits coldly, but you see the hurt lacing his features, matching your own.

“Yeah, I got that. Loud and clear.” You murmur. “Stay the hell away from me from now on.” You growl before exiting the room, leaving Azriel alone.

———

You had not so much as looked at him in three weeks, and it was driving Azriel crazy. He had assumed that with your now ex-boyfriend out of the way, you would eventually turn to him to resume your previous friends-with-benefits situation. He couldn’t help but miss your company.

Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys sat around the table at Rita’s drinking whiskey. As soon as Azriel began complaining about you again, Cassian rolled his eyes, finished his glass of whiskey, and stood up.

“I’m tired of hearing about this every damn day. I’m getting another drink.” He grumbles.

Azriel wasn’t sure why he was bothered so damn much that you were avoiding him. Sure, he had plenty of females offering him pleasure every time he went out in Velaris, there were two eyeing him from across the bar right now, but he didn’t want them.

“Honestly, what I miss most about her isn’t even the sex.” Azriel admits, slurring his words slightly as the alcohol takes effect in his system. Rhysand’s ears perk up at this admission. Previously, Azriel had only ever admitted to missing the consistent sex or complained that you were overreacting, but this was new. Rhys wondered if Azriel even realized what he was saying.

“What do you mean, brother?” Rhys probes.

“I miss the nights we spent talking. And how somehow she managed to know exactly what I needed, without me having to say it.” Azriel downs the rest of his drink. “I just want things to go back to the way they were. Like when she would fall asleep next to me and I would actually be able to quiet my mind enough for once to fall asleep too. Or when she smiled and I felt all warm inside. I don’t even know why I shut her out when she asked about becoming more. Maybe because it scares me.” Azriel prattles on, talking to himself more than Rhys.

“You love her, you idiot.” Rhys states, which immediately pulls Azriel’s focus.

“That’s not… don’t do that Rhys. Don’t put shit into my head.” Azriel says defensively. Cassian returns with another round of whiskey for everyone.

“What did Rhys do?” Cassian asks casually as he passes a glass to each of his brothers.

“I informed Az that he’s in love with y/n.” Rhys smirks and sips his whiskey.

“I’m not-“ Cassian cuts Azriel off.

“You totally are!” Cassian laughs. Azriel huffs out a breath and downs his whiskey in one big swallow. There was no use arguing with his brothers once their minds were made up.

“I gotta go.” Azriel mumbles and storms out the door. Rhys and Cass just exchange knowing glances.

———

You hear someone banging on your door late that evening. You want to say you’re surprised to see Azriel when you open the door, but no one else would bother you this time of night. You just look at him expectantly, waiting to hear what he has to say.

“I was wrong before. I should've never pushed you away when you said you wanted more. I was just scared of how I felt and scared of getting hurt by you. I’m sorry for being a dick and I’m sorry for ruining that dinner with your ex-boyfriend, I just couldn’t stand to see you with someone else. Please, give me another shot.” Azriel has such a hopeful look in his eyes, waiting for your answer.

“I told you I was done.” You say, trying your hardest to stay calm and collected.

“But I-“ he takes a deep breath. “But I love you. Please, give me a chance to make things right.” You pause, mind reeling at the admission. As much as you want to admit the same thing, you can’t afford to get hurt by him again, so you do your best to calm your racing heart and force the words out.

“It’s too late, Azriel. I’m sorry.” You shut the door quickly before you can give in, immediately letting your tears fall once it's closed.

———

More weeks passed, and you eventually decided that you had to stop wallowing in self-pity and try to move on again. Wesley might have not been the one for you, but surely someone out there is.

You had decided to go out to Rita’s with Mor and eventually found a decently nice male to talk to. You two chatted for a while, and as the end of the night drew closer, you decided to shoot your shot.

“So, I don’t really do this, but do you wanna come home with me?” You ask the male nervously.” The lights of the bar turn on, indicating that it’s closing time.

“Yeah I-“ he pauses, looking you over. His eyes go wide and he backs away. “No. I can’t go home with you. I should’ve never talked to you.” He hurries off quickly, almost seeming frightened.

You turn towards Mor with a confused look, trying to ignore the hurt you feel from the harsh rejection. Did you really look that different with the lights on, you wonder.

The next day, you were in your room telling Feyre about the night before, trying to understand what went wrong.

“I don’t get it, Fey. We were having such a nice conversation. I was sure that he would agree to come home with me. But as soon as the lights came on and he saw me, he ran off. I didn’t think I looked that bad in the light.” You complain, flopping back onto your bed. Feyre choked on her drink for a moment, seeming startled.

“He didn’t…” she mutters to herself, shaking her head.

“What?” You sit up, confused. Feyre gets a far-off expression, likely speaking to Rhys in her mind about something. “What is it Feyre?” You ask curiously. She groans.

“The other day I overheard Az and Rhys talking, and Azriel made a joke about how he could just threaten all the males in Velaris that they can’t go anywhere near you. I assumed he was kidding, but I just asked Rhys about it, and apparently he wasn’t.” Feyre explains awkwardly.

“Are you kidding me?” You yell as you shoot up off the bed and storm out your door, muttering some apology to Feyre about having to leave.

———

You put a city-wide ban on dating me?” You scream angrily as you storm into Azriel’s room, not bothering to knock.

“Yeah, I did.” Azriel smirks at you.

“What the fuck Azriel? You don't have some claim over me! Call it off.” You shout.

“No.” His firm, unyielding voice gives you goosebumps.

“Stop it with the territorial male bullshit. It won’t change anything, so call it off!” You try to keep up the anger in your voice, but as Azriel stalks closer, you lose your boldness.

“I’m not calling it off.” His voice is dangerously low.

“Why not?” You mutter. Azriel leans closer.

“Because eventually you will realize that you still want to be with me, and when you do I don’t want anyone getting in the way of that.” He whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, causing you to shiver slightly.

“I told you before. I’m done.” You try to sound confident, but it doesn’t come out quite right.

“Sure you are. Whenever you decide you wanna change that answer, I’ll be here.” He says with a wink. As you leave you feel conflicted. This may be the most territorial male bullshit you have ever witnessed, but you can’t help but smile slightly, realizing that Azriel basically just publicly announced his feelings toward you.

———

You lasted two days without returning to visit Azriel. You had told yourself it was to yell at him some more, but deep down you knew it wasn’t. Azriel opens his door after hearing you knock and looks genuinely surprised to see you.

“You win. You managed to scare off any decent male in Velaris. So congrats, I’m all yours.” You concede reluctantly.

“It was never about winning, sweetheart.” He shuts the door behind you, caging you between him and the door. You look up at him earnestly.

“Then what was it about?” You ask.

“It’s about getting a second chance to prove to you that I was an idiot. It’s about the fact that I will spend every single day for the rest of my existence trying to prove to you that I love you, and praying to the Mother that you decide to let me show you.” He whispers, leaning closer. You look up at him, seeing that hopeful look in his eyes again.

“Just one more chance?” Your voice comes out so soft he almost doesn’t hear you.

“One more chance, I promise that’s all I’ll need. I don’t plan on ever doing anything to mess it up again.” He answers sincerely.

“Okay then.” He doesn’t get a moment to process that you agreed before you pull his face towards yours, closing the gap between your lips. He immediately pulls your body into his and runs his hands through your hair.

“Thank the gods.” He murmurs into the kiss. You pull away for a moment.

“By the way, I love you too, Az.”

yes that last little bit about the dating ban was inspired by the deal by elle kennedy, but i just thought that was so funny and i believe without a doubt that Az could threaten all of Velaris to stay away from you

prompt list

taglist: @fxckmiup

[googleitlol]

Revisiting King's Crown got me inspired to write something from the future, a little snippet of when it's almost the end of the journey. It happens at a point where Dove isn't in the best of head spaces, she's learned stuff that has her questioning a lot, so Wukong takes her for a little vacation to Flower Fruit Mountain.

I've cut around some specifics just so I don't spoil too much of the later plot, but I rlly wanted to share this piece. There's angst, not a whole lotta self-love going on, but there's some comfort in there so hopefully that makes up for all the sad stuff 🫶

Dove Masterlist:

Why?

The moon shines over Flower Fruit, full and bright. The stars accompanying it in the night sky twinkle overhead, a faint breeze leaving a cover of bumps over your arms. Despite the slight chill, it is very welcomed after your day in the summer heat. There are barely any clouds in the sky, it’s a perfect way to end the night. With the blanket of night, there is barely a whisper of another soul on the grassy landscape you lay on with the king of the mountain.

Your Peaches is the one who suggested stargazing, he lays just underneath you, his shirt discarded a few metres away. You lie with your head on his chest, a hand rests just over his stomach as you take in the sky’s tableau. One of his arms wraps over your midsection, keeping you close while his tail thumps slowly and rhythmically over the ground. His head lays on his other arm, and he keeps a knee propped up while he looks up to the sky.

The world is silent as you watch the stars. They move so slowly in the mortal realm compared to the Jade Palace. Up there, the stars race through the sky like an ocean current, slowing for no one. Down here, they inch across the sky so slowly, their movement is barely even noticeable. If only it could all be that slow, if only this could never end. How wonderful it would be if this journey could go on for eternity. You would rather cross a thousand rivers, climb a never-ending mountain than have it end so soon. But you need to do this, whether you want to or not. It’s for the better, for everyone.

“So?” Wukong hums from under you, it’s easy to feel his eyes on the top of your head. “Has today been worth it?” He asks, but you can’t answer him right away. You look up at him from your spot on his chest, soaking in the warmth from his body. The slow rise and fall of each breath he takes is comforting.

Everything about right now feels perfect, Sun Wukong has made today so calm. It feels as though he could soothe all your worries in a moment like this, just stay how you are forever. But you can’t. You can’t allow yourself to enjoy today, enjoy all of this. Not after everything you know now. “Why?”

Peaches looks down at you, his warm smile enough to cause the butterflies in your stomach to stir. “Care to elaborate?” His smile carries to his eyes, those beautiful sunset eyes. Looking into them, all your anxieties could melt away.

Then your gaze travels up, to the gold encircling his head. “Why bring me here today?” You ask, your brows furrowed with worry.

He answers your question with one of his own. “This is your future home, isn’t it? Or should I be expecting one of us to commute between my mountain and that bodhisattva’s?”

“…I’m not going back to Potalaka.” You look back out to the sky, the stars in the same position as you left them.

Wukong takes a moment before replying. “She only did what she thought was best.” His chest rumbles with soft laughter. “Hell, you know I would’ve done a lot worse if I were in her position.” You know Guan Yin did her best, but it doesn’t make anything better.

You sit up, hugging your knees tight as your eyes wander over the landscape. This isn’t right, none of it is. The two of you are sitting here in the comforts of Flower Fruit Mountain while the others are on their own. Sun Wukong risked a day away from Tripitaka, and for what? An attempt to make you feel better than you should? “…Why?”

He lets the silence sit this time, slowly sitting up to join you. His hand finds its way to your back, it moves gently back and forth in comfort. “Because you can’t keep beating yourself up over this. It wasn’t in your control, Dove.”

You look down into your lap as his tail wraps around, pulling you closer. Why is he trying so hard? All these years with him, and still you have not a single clue as to why he chose you. Who in their right mind would do that, after everything you’ve done. The thought makes your chest grow tight, it makes each breath all the more difficult to take.

“Why do you love me?” Your voice is barely a whisper, but that doesn’t stop him from hearing it. Wukong stiffens at the question, his hand freezing as his head swivels down to look at you.

You find it in you to look back at Wukong, his eyes are wide with a mix of shock and concern. He almost looks hurt by the question. “What?” He frowns, turning to face you more.

“How can you?” You press, moving away from his touch and turning to face him as well. “After everything I’ve done.”

“Stop that.” His frown deepens, and you shake your head.

“We should be with the others right now.” You look away, but before you can move any farther, he takes hold of both your hands.

“Dove.”

“How can you defend me?!”

“I’m not letting you talk yourself into thinking–”

“I did this to you!”

You reach out to hold his head as you speak, the cold metal of the circlet in your hands. A reminder of your spite, your hatred that drove you to hurt him. The malice and resentment that hurt your Peaches.

He looks back at you, stunned into silence as tears prick at your eyes. “I… I hurt you. Every time that thing on your head tightens, when you were only trying to protect us– even when we were trying to tell you apart from Macaque!” Your shoulders shake, each intake of breath sharp as the tears stream down your face.

“I gave Tripitaka the sutra, I tricked you into wearing the circlet! How can you love me after all this pain I’ve caused you?!” Your head falls onto his shoulder as you try your best to stifle your cries, your arms dropping down to his shoulders. “I don’t deserve it. Not from you, not after I hurt you like I did.”

The silence that follows is only broken by your muffled breaths. Neither of you move, still as stone. Only when your shaky breaths slow do you feel arms wrapping around you. “…We were both pretty angry people back then, huh? Ha, we still are.” Wukong shakes his head, as if in amusement.

A sigh slips from his lips, and you feel him rest his head over yours. “I still remember my confusion, the first time I felt it tighten around my head, falling to the ground when the pain hit me. Even when it stops, sometimes I can still feel it.”

His arms slide back, his hands taking you by your shoulders to pull you back. Once he can properly look you in the eyes, one hand moves to cup the side of your face. He’s gentle as he holds you face up to his, his thumb moving to wipe away a tear. “I hate what you did to me, but I could never hate you.”

Peaches smiles at you, it’s small but genuine. His words leave you speechless, at a loss that he takes to keep going. “You got me to wear this crown, but it’s coming off as soon as Master reaches Thunderclap Monastery. I tried killing you…” His gaze wanders away for a moment, his smile turning guilty. “…more than once.”

You frown at that. Of course you remember the first time in the Jade Palace, but what else was he talking about? The time where he tried using you as bait for those demons that took Tripitaka’s cassock? “You said that time in the tree was so you could find the demon’s home while they were distracted.”

“Eh, I was going for a, ‘kill two birds with one stone’ approach with that.” He admits, his chuckle traced with some shame. You deadpan a little before he continues.

“But even after everything, you chose to be here with me.” Your eyes widen a bit as he moves closer. With his other hand moving to hold the other side of your face. He pulls you in so that your foreheads meet in the middle. “So don’t you ever question my love for you. It is as eternal as my life, and it will shine to make your darkest days light. You deserve the world, and more, that is something I will never let you forget.”

Your heart quickens, thumping against your chest rapidly as Wukong’s gaze holds yours. You can feel your face flushing, those sun-kissed eyes that hold you in their sights enough to make you swoon a hundred times over. Tears well up in your own eyes, and before they can fall, he pulls you into an embrace.

“You can’t blame yourself for something that happened when you were a child.” He whispers as you slowly wrap your arms around his back. “It all would have happened, regardless of whether or not you knew why.”

It takes you a second to slow your breaths. “I could have done something–”

“You were eight.” His voice is firm, stopping you before you could say any more.

Your eyes shut tight. “That doesn’t mean I wish I could have done something to stop it.”

One of his hands slides up to hold the back of your head. “You couldn’t have.” His fingers comb through your hair, and you melt into his touch.

There isn’t anything you can say. You know he’s right, but it doesn’t make the truth any harder to swallow. An entire village, gone. Innocent lives, friends who lost their lives because of you. You can’t let anyone else lose their life, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if that happened.

At least you have him with you, here. You still can’t see why he cares so much for you, but right now, you’re just grateful that he does. “…I love you.”

“And I love you, Dove.” Peaches hums, and before you can say another word, your love lays back against the grass, taking you with him.

The steady beat of his heart drums against his chest, it’s rhythm soothing as you allow yourself to relax in his hold. This night really is beautiful. “Are we going to fly back tonight? You know nothing good happens when you leave Tripitaka for too long.”

Wukong lets out a soft huff. “My brothers will be alright taking care of him for a single night. Right now, I think you need a good rest on an actual bed.”

“Why use a bed when you’re right here?” You mumble, nuzzling your head into his chest with a small smile. He laughs at that, and you feel him place a kiss on the top of your head. A sigh escapes you, your eyes closing slowly as you lay with Wukong. “Peaches… why?”

“Why, what?” He asks in a whisper, his voice soft.

When you open your eyes, you look up at the sage with a smile. “Why did you bring me here today? The real reason.”

Peaches keeps his eyes to the sky, his head shaking a bit. “You know why.”

“I do, I just want you to know you can’t trick me.” You smirk, making Wukong laugh again.

“We’ll see about that.”

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Bless you for creating this blog, because I need to VENT

(obligatory not all Zutarians who want to enjoy their fics and arts in peace. you guys are cool and chill.)

Isn't it so interesting transparent and sad that every Zutarian critical analysis about "making the show better" is just about making Aang suffer more, and Zuko look good?

Katara should have kept her burn scars, because Aang needed to understand the consequences of his actions!

Right. Because immediately apologising, and becoming so guilty he doesn't fire bend for 2 seasons doesn't show remorse.

Aang should have given up his attachment to Katara to become a fully realised Avatar, otherwise he doesn't sacrifice anything! That would have been narratively satisfying!

Right. Because LOSING HIS ENTIRE CULTURE AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED isn't a "sacrifice". Which he will never get back. He'll have to live with the tragedy of being the last Airbender forever.

It's SO interesting how Zuko literally gets everything he wanted- locking up Ozai forever, getting a new father figure in Iroh, becoming Firelord, being with the woman he loves, finding his mother, even finding a new sister who adores him. His ONE tragedy is Azula, and even then she's hopefully on a journey of redemption.

But somehow that's not the "perfect ending" for Zuko. Nope, the only narratively satisfying ending is if Katara falls over to suck Zuko's dick.

So Zuko doesn't sacrifice anything permanently, and he literally gets everything he ever wanted. Aang will never get back what he lost, but apparently he has to give up Katara too. Funny how that works. Can you make your seething resentment any more obvious?

It's also amazing to me that so called Katara stans NEVER think about how KATARA would feel if Aang lost his romantic attachment to her. Girl hugged him several times, kissed him on the cheek and lips, blushed around him, threatened to murder Zuko if he hurt Aang...she was not subtle. But apparently no one cares about Katara's feelings.

Also, how GUILTY would Katara feel if Aang had to sacrifice his romantic attachment to become the Avatar? Do you think she'd be happy he had to sacrifice love for duty? Which BEST FRIEND would be okay with this situation? Even Sokka and Toph would be outraged.

If my best friend and fellow genocide survivor had to sacrifice his romantic attachment for duty, I'd be so mad I would murder Ozai myself. Yes, even if I didn't love him back, because HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. Nobody would even be able to find the body.

Katara and Zuko should have gotten together, that would have fully represented the themes of balance and redemption in the show!

FFS THERE IS A RELATIONSHIP THAT REPRESENTS THESE THEMES! IT'S ZUKAANG! SORRY YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THE SHOW!

Sorry, Sokka. Your relationship with Suki is toxic, because she's from the Earth Nation. You need to break up immediately. Better go find a nice firebender to have children with! Zukka anyone??

Did they miss the part when Uncle Iroh said, "Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole."

Or the Guru when he said, " Even the separation of the four elements is an illusion. If you open your mind, you will see that all the elements are one. Four parts of the same whole. "

AKA "balance" is when we learn from all 4 elements and grow as a person!!! It's got nothing to do with love!

BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN'T BE REDUCED TO THEIR ELEMENTS! THAT'S THE THEME OF THE SHOW!

Sorry, Katara. You represent water, and Zuko represents fire, so you have to marry each other for "balance". It's in the rules. How convenient.

Even though Aang is ALSO a fire bender, so marrying him would also represent "balance". But he doesn't count because he's not hot and sexy like Zuko with his anime hair.

sidenote - Aang is so hot. With his muscles , grey eyes, and his off-shoulder fit? Divine. Zutarians who think Aang isn't sexy have no taste.

sorry for the extremely long rant. I just couldn't take Zutarians and their "atla-critical" analysis anymore. It's the self-righteousness that gets me.

They can't just say, I love Zutara together because I like their dynamic. Instead they have to write long metas justifying why their ship is the "only one that strenghens the themes of the show" and Kataang / Maiko "weakens the narrative" and other bs.

thanks for this space, this was cathartic.

You're welcome, anon 💖

[marsbutterfly]

Final Mission - Remastered

Summary: The rumbling begins to close in on you and your friends. With very few choices remaining, you have to watch as Hanji makes a decision that will alter the course of your life forever.

a/n: hello hello!! So ever since part 3 part 1 came out, I decided to start working on rewriting my very first work, for Hanji and for Attack On Titan. This piece has always meant so much to me as it was written with lol sm grief? anyway, I know it's been a while but Hanji pls come back, the kids and I miss you babes.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: attack on titan season 4 part 3 (part 1) spoilers if you haven't watched it yet, angst, blood, established relationship, soulmate loss, a bit of resentment towards tbh everyone if you squint. | ao3 | wattpad | the original | wc: 3.3k

“You could break my heart in two

But when it heals, it beats for you”

“I’m the one who brought everyone here. I killed my comrades to come this far. I’ll take responsibility for it all,” Hanji says, her hands trembling while grasping the thunder spears firmly, eyes filled with terror while a shallow breath fights to leave her lungs. The ground shakes beneath you and a chilling sensation courses down your spine.

You finally find the courage to turn around to face her as she approaches the group, words dying and being reborn in your throat as you struggle to find just the right thing to say, eventually landing on the bleakest yet most desperate request, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Her footsteps are heavy, contrasting clearly with those of the colossal titans as they march towards you. Her vision is focused on the young, blonde boy ahead of you and you can tell she is trying with all her might to avoid your eyes, afraid of the reaction you might have.

“Armin Arlert,” her voice is gentle, gentler than it has been in a while, almost as if the heavy burden of the world inside the walls has finally lifted from her shoulders and she could actually think straight, “I hereby designate you the 15th Commander of the Scout Regiment.”

The remainder of the words exchanged between the two of them simply echoes in your brain, going from one ear to the other, almost as if they were speaking sheer gibberish. It doesn’t make sense, none of it does. Why is she making him commander when she is still standing right there? Hopefully not for the reasons you are expecting, right? Your thoughts move a thousand times faster than the actual conversation flows.

Your eyes are fixated on the scenery before you, a mixture of feelings coursing through your veins and your heart feels like it has been missing a few beats as an intense void begins to creep from deep inside of you. The situation is not ideal: the colossal titans get closer by the second, the atmosphere becomes hotter with their steam clouding the air and an overwhelming feeling of despair grows in your chest.

You focus on the sound of her voice, the same sound that has brought you so much comfort in the most trying of times now makes no sense, no matter how you look at it. Her face, which has always been your absolute favorite piece of art to ever exist, now contorted into a pained and saddened expression. In fact, it reminded of the way she looked when Erwin announced she would be taking over the Scouts in case he didn’t make it through Shiganshina.

You are finally pulled out of this trance once she begins to move again, this time towards Levi, confused and worrying eyes following her every move carefully as she moves across the brick bridge. From where you stand, you can see the black haired man tightening his left fist, the breeze hitting every so lightly, just barely enough for it to lift his hair and show you that he is sharing a quick glance with you before returning to Hanji.

“Hey, four-eyes,” he says. That’s the first time you have heard him call her those two words since she became commander. He had told you once before he did it out of respect, seeing that she was now his superior, so for him to say it now, in a moment like this, that is when the realization and truth of the moment finally began to dawn on you.

“You understand, right, Levi?” Her voice trembles in the slightest, in a manner that would be unnoticeable to anyone else but you and the man she is speaking to, “my turn has come at last.”

Hanji raises her hands, fingertips trembling and causing the thunder spears to shake, the sweat glistening on her face as her pupils twitch, it’s a sight you hoped to never see. She tries to play her nervousness off, “I’m giddy with the desire to make a supremely cool exit. Don’t stop what I’ve got going.”

For the first time, her eyes meet yours and you realize only then how many tears she was holding back, a quiet sob dying in your throat as you yelp, your body rejecting your brain’s commands to move, legs stuck in place and swallowing has never been this hard.

With a sigh, you hear those three words out of Levi’s mouth, the same words that are now only chanted by a ghost or a distant memory, “Dedicate your heart.” It feels like a punch to the stomach, air can no longer find its way inside your lungs and you choke on your own saliva, there is no denying what is about to happen anymore and the overwhelming sensation that there is nothing you can do to change it overwhelms you.

She smiles and lets out a gentle giggle, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that.”

Lastly, she makes her way towards you. The need for oxygen is intense but the very second that her gentle fingertips touch your face, the world seems to stop for a moment and every worry you have ever had dissipates into the feeling.

“I truly hope that you can forgive me one day,” she says and the tears that dangled from her eyes were finally allowed to fall. With a smirk on her lips, she blew on your face so that your hair would move from one spot to the other and the smell of her breath fills you with a sense of nostalgia and despair.

“Please don’t say that,” you whisper, bringing your body closer to hers, “you are the only family I have left. I don’t know where to go without you,” your voice trembles, your throat is as dry as the deserts you’ve heard Armin talk so much about. The tips of your fingers gently twirl a loose strand of hair that falls on her face.

Hanji turns her face at a precise 90 degree angle to look at Levi, a stoic expression on his face though his eyes tell you everything you need to know about his feelings. A tear runs down Hanji’s face, but only one as she won’t allow herself to fully break down until you are out of sight, “Will you take care of her for me?” He doesn’t respond with words, the only thing he does is nod his head in agreement.

Her eyes make their way back to you as she uses both of her hands to carefully cup your face, lips meeting yours with a desperation you had never seen before, almost as if she is trying to engrave you on her own body. Her tongue glides with yours for a couple of seconds and you feel the butterflies rising in your stomach as if it were the first time you have kissed her.

The moment couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds but it felt like forever and a day, your body nearly melting in contact with her touch. For a split moment, you forgot about the rumbling, about Eren, about the sacrifice she was about to make, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but this very moment the two of you share.

Everything feels ok for a little while, the warmth of her brown eyes reminds you of the many cups of tea you have shared in the barricades, the softness of her touch bringing up memories of times you’ve met under the apple tree in the courtyard, and the gentleness on her lips stirring butterflies in your stomach, much like the very first time you’d seen her.

However it does not last long. You are brought back to reality by the sound of her ODM gear going off, the hook gripping onto the wall and the cold feeling her lips leave behind. Hanji doesn’t give you enough time to stop her, she simply pulls away before you could even react.

She doesn’t say anything. In the years that passed since she became commander, Hanji had been preparing you for the inevitable moment when she passes away, when her turn to make a sacrifice to save your life would come. In that time, you let your guard down, you had convinced yourself something like that would never happen, not to the both of you.

Your eyes are fixated on her every move, every swing of her blade, every flicker of her cape, and there is nothing you can do. Frozen in place, you watch in horror as she manages to take down a few of the colossal titans on their path of destruction. It wasn’t enough. The engineers still need more time.

Trembling hands struggle to find a way onto your blades as a thought goes through your brain, “How can I help her?” By the time you manage to look back up, you catch a glance of a scene that could only be described as your worst nightmare: your beloved’s body, the person you’ve loved most for the past few years, catching on fire as a result of the bodily heat of the colossal titans.

Your heart sinks in your stomach and all you can do is scream. Your feet begin to move as you make up your mind to run and assist them but a pair of strong hands get a hold of your waist before you have time to move forward.

“Reiner, let me go,” you demand, in vain. No matter just how much you kick, or scream, or scratch him, his grip will not loosen and a sense of utter despair fills you. Your throat burns and your vision is blurred out by all the tears, your hands are shaking and there is nothing more you can do.

The last drop was the moment you caught a glimpse of her lifeless, burned to a crisp body falling from the sky like a meteor ready to destroy your life. You had no more fight left in you, no more strength remaining to try and free yourself from Reiner’s arms.

Something inside of your brain begins to slip away, was it your sanity? Or something more personal, like your spirit? No, this was a feeling you had encountered time and time again, expedition after expedition, titan kill after titan kill, hopelessness. Except this time, the feeling was a thousand times worse.

Without her, how would you be able to find Eren and stop the rumbling once and for all? Not only that, but for the first time, probably ever, you questioned her judgment, after all, how could Armin be commander? The boy who was chosen over Erwin, part of the reason why you found yourself in this situation in the first place.

No, there was no use in pointing fingers at each other. If in a situation like this, where life and death walked hand in hand, she chose him, then you would trust her judgment, even if you didn’t agree with it, even if you believed it to be the wrong choice.

Your eyelids grow heavier the closer you get to the plane, the tears have yet to stop running down your face and a full body spread of goosebumps has taken hold of your skin. You manage to take a deep breath before allowing your exhausted body to slip into unconsciousness and, for the last time, you hear her voice.

“I love you.”

The pounding sensation in your head is nearly too much to bear. You squint through closed eyes, slowly using whatever little strength you have left to raise your arm, shielding your face from the far too close sun rays. The atmosphere surrounding the area is so heavy you could cut it with a knife, but a determined Armin breaks free from the awkwardness. “Listen up,” he says, the confidence is his voice masking his true emotions, “Let’s go over the plan.”

Their voices are now a bit louder, the slight turbulence you come across every so often causes the plane to shake and every last bit of metal to scrape against one another. You can hear the sound of a pencil scribbling on the metal floor, but whether it is writing or drawing, you are unable to realize.

As the conversation goes by, your ears begin to ring and your mind can’t help but wonder how long it has been. You take your hand up to your chest, clutching tightly to the fabric that covers the area above your heart, it feels empty, like it has been broken in two and the pieces have been flung out into space.

Has it been seconds? Has it been days? No, while it feels like an eternity has passed, deep down you know that it has only been somewhere between fifteen to thirty minutes. Tears begin to pool up in your eyes once more, that emptiness eating away at your stomach while you choke down a desolate sob. You don’t want to draw attention towards yourself but yet somehow, you find yourself as the center of everyone’s concern.

For a while, no one dares to move, speak or even breathe. You can’t be bothered by their reactions or lack thereof, the pressure on your chest desperately needs to be released. The tears won’t stop flowing, air fails to enter your lungs as heavy hiccups erupt from deep within your soul. The void you feel could only be compared to a bottomless abyss, not knowing when it will end.

Once you have no more tears left, you try your best to use your arms to sit up, cursing yourself for being so weak in the face of such immediate danger. Footsteps approach you and a helping hand finds a comfortable spot on your lower back, gently assisting you in your attempt to sit. You don’t need to see the person’s face to know exactly who it is.

“Mikasa,” you say, not quite sure if it is a question or if anything else is going to follow.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, her voice is raspy and gentle, like she has been doing some crying of her own. You can’t help but smirk, not out of happiness, but because you know they all already have an idea of what your answer is going to be.

“It feels like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest and I had to watch as it burned,” you say and they all immediately understand that you are referring to the condition you were forced to leave Hanji’s body in. It is a stupid question but, for some reason, it does make the aching a tad bit more tolerable.

“Your hand is bleeding,” Armin points out in a serene voice as he walks towards you, his footsteps seem lighter than a feather in an attempt to not spook you away, as if you were a wild, injured little animal, “How did that happen?”

“I cut it,” You respond, dryly. Your lower lip quivers as you open your palm, revealing the smallest piece of green fabric. It is clear from the patter and the design that it came from one of the cloaks owned by the Survey Corps, no extra words are needed for all present to understand that it belonged to their fallen Commander. Though no one desires to talk about it, Reiner decides to take the fall.

“I may not have been so gentle when we were boarding the flying boat,” he says, using his left hand to scratch the back of his neck while the right one holds onto the rail above his head, “I’m sorry, y/n. I should have been more careful.”

You know what he is trying to do. It is clearly a lie and there is no denying any of it, but you appreciate his efforts to remove the attention from the sore subject. You purse your lips in what could be considered a small smile while quietly nodding your head.

“Would you mind if I took a look at it?” Armin asks, kneeling beside you while reaching his hand underneath your own. Perhaps he was right to treat you like a spooked animal, seeing as your immediate reaction was to move your hand far away from him, clinging onto the fabric for dear life as you push your body towards the back of the ship until you collide with the metal wall. “Please.” He begs.

“No,” you cower away, “This is the last part of me to have ever touched her. It doesn’t hurt, in fact, I can barely feel anything anymore.”

Once more he asks, “Please,” and you realize he isn't going to let the subject go. So before too much of your blood has a chance to soak the bit of cloth, you switch it towards your other hand, extending your injured arm until it touches the top of his thighs.

You whimper as a stream of clean water comes in contact with your open skin, dirt debris being washed away by the contents as best as possible. Your eyes never leave his face, the now 15th Commander of the Survey Corps taking care of you, your heart gets heavier the more you think of him in such a manner. His shoulders are slumped forward, as if there is a “not so fictional” weight on them. It doesn’t take long before he is finished bandaging you up.

“I am fully aware it is not the same but,” a masculine voice comes from the front half of the ship, “you still have us.”

Your eyes now meet Levi, whose crossed arms and stern face somehow brings you the slightest amount of comfort. With a helping hand from Connie, you make your way towards him, gently placing yourself between Pieck and the black-haired man, who ever so gently places a comforting hand behind your back. It is rare for him to demonstrate any sort of affection, so by the way his fingers feel against your clothes, you can nearly feel his own grief. Another lump forms in your throat, but you swallowed it this time.

“We’ll make sure that Hanji’s death wasn’t in vain,” Mikasa swears, false determination taking over her words, “We’ll return Eren into his old self, I know he is still in there somewhere, just waiting for us.”

Any sort of emotion gets drained from your face as you stare deep into her eyes, gray orbs looking deeply at you in hopes of any approval of her message. You raise your chin as you cross your legs, bringing your body forward, closer to her. You don’t want to be mean, nor do you want to make her feel like her attempt at comforting you fell into deaf ears, but all present right now know that what she has said is bullshit. 

“Mikasa,” your voice is stern, “do you remember what Annie asked you once in the forest and then again after we attempted to communicate with Floch?” She doesn’t respond but, by the expression on her face, you realize that she knows exactly what you are talking about. With no indication that she plans on acknowledging the subject, you continue, “She asked you if you would ever be able to kill Eren.”

She looks away, gripping her knees tightly. “That won’t be necessary!” Armin says, the nervousness in his voice is palpable as he desperately tries to change the subject while still hoping to provide you with the comfort he knows you need at this moment.

You sigh before continuing, “I know you want to bring him back. I may know that better than anyone else at the moment. But I need you to listen closely as I tell you this,” Your voice is louder than the engines, the tears begin pooling in your eyes once more, you bring the small piece of Hanji’s cloak towards your chest, a determined expression on your face, “There is no bringing him back at this point. He has gone too far. Even if you did bring him back, the remaining world population would kill him with their bare hands.”

“Why are you saying all of this?” Someone asks, though your mind has become nothing but fog so you can’t quite tell whose voice it is at the moment. You take a deep breath, allowing the cold air to fill your burning lungs.

“Because no matter what you all say,” any emotion is drained from your voice, “my final mission is to kill Eren Yeager.”

“If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you”

[asclexe]

haii….intro post…..about me……

click (this is a reminder more for me because i’ll see it easiest this way, feel free to click) / i do not answer donation asks and i cannot donate

haiiii :3 i go bye cameron which is very nicknameable so have fun with that. also call me whatever 🔥🔥

i am a boy-adjacent i think and i ONLY use he/him pronouns!!!!!! please and thank you!

aromantic aplatonic lesbian faggot thing. i think girls r pretty. women are soo awesome 😍

minor!!!!!!!!! im ageless online 4 my safety so B cool im literally 5 years old :3

my star sign is leo (august is the worst month ever.), personality type intj, im an atheist, white boy, and im left-handed to name a few. i might be neurodivergent but we don’t know

american :/ + a mixed pot of european as most american white people are (based in EST)

currently matching with the awesome @magicmarkerz give it up for the coolest boygirl ever. our backgrounds are like owen and maddy from isttvg. awesome.

interest wise, im pathetically multifandom and im really interested in doctor who atm but but i also enjoy house md, yellowjackets, moral orel, warrior cats (on arc 5 and no intention of reading more), dungeon meshi, six feet under, fnaf, thg, a series of unfortunate events, doogie howser md, i saw the tv glow, good omens (FUCK neil gaiman. 😐), and soso many many more.. (i watch a lot of shows and have soo many more to watch. lol)

currently watchinf!! : doctor who (capaldi era, s8), the good place (s3), broadchurch (s1), and hannibal (s1)

i run @ask-the-ducklings and @ppth-obgyn-dept-head-real for my house md oc and i’m 1/2 of @meanwhile-on-the-road :3

i use #asclexeposting for all original posts + more

trying to figure out my ao3 situation but im on pinterest and discord under assclexe if you wanna hmu (B cool) and roblox as asclexe and my airbuds

so yeah below the cut are just like. boundaries whatever lame. but feel free to follow me, ill likely follow back and we’ll be bestest friends forever ^_^

ughh sum things you should know be4 you follow or follow/unfollow or moot/unmoot me/boundaries

i am a very morbid (i think abt death literally all the time. lol), negative, cynical person and i always have been and i will not absorb those positive vibes. im a hater. im also opinionated like everyone else and im obviously going to have bad takes. B nice. sometimes the fun and joyous whimsy comes out. i can and will be really nice i promise just sometimes im mean

i use a lot of profanity and i say the ONE. one slur i can reclaim.

i will not go to therapy or get help. i’ve been in therapy and it does not help me and i do not like it. i do not want help. i’m fine. please do not tell me “go to therapy u need it” because i do not need it

i say “im going to kill myself” a lot and these are all fruitless, meaningless statements. i am not committing suicide yet, and when i do, you’ll have long forgotten me. hopefully.

pls tell me via ask box! (or dm if i follow you) if i say something offensive or wrong or are overcrossing your boundaries, im sorry, im bound to make mistakes or misjudge a post.

i do not tag my reblogs with the media or characters, only little comments. i also do not spoiler tag my posts. i try to trigger tag things when i can but if you want something trigger tagged specifically pls lmk!!

i do not have a dni, because the block button (which i use pretty often ill be honest) is easier, so instead i’d say go away!!!!! bigots (because you suck) and zionists (because i’m pro-palestine) and pedos/zoos (because you’re gross) and nsfw/mdni/kink blogs and most people over 21 (unless im comfortable with it) (because i’m a minor) . block me if you don’t like “mspec lesbians” you won’t like it here

but anyways, i’m pretty chill and will prob follow u back and be best friends forever and ever. i luv all my mutuals u guys r the best

[sequinsmile-x]

Fic request🤭 im obsessed with the thought of Hotch letting it slip that him & Emily are dating by accidentally calling her Em while presenting a case/profile 😩😩

Hi bestie <3

As always, this got massively away from me. I really hope you like this and that it's what you were looking to read <3

-x-

Misdemeanour

/ˌmɪsdɪˈmiːnə/

noun.

a minor wrongdoing.

a non-indictable offence considered to be less serious than a felony

AKA the one where Aaron accidentally reveals his and Emily's secret relationship to the team

-x-

Warnings: none

Words: 4.5k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily checks her watch as the elevator continues its journey to the ground floor and she groans at the time.

 6 am. 

There was a time when she would have skipped breakfast when they were on a case, desperate to sleep as long as she feasibly could before she’d meet the team in the lobby just as they were leaving for the precinct. It was something Dave in particular would always make fun of her for, especially when her hanger would kick in just around lunchtime, or she’d snack on cookies given to them by the locals. 

Although she couldn’t deny that eating breakfast gave her more energy in the morning, it wasn’t the food that pulled her out of bed. It was Aaron. 

No one on the team knew about them yet, the 8 months they’d been together was something just for them. Only Jack and Jessica knew, and keeping the secret had become part of the fun. She loved sneaking around with Aaron, loved that their relationship was untouched by outside influence or the opinions of others, but she knew it couldn’t last forever. She wanted everything with him - a house, marriage and hopefully a couple more children, and she knew for that to happen they’d have to let the others in. 

The thought of it made her anxious, the feeling crawling through her chest anytime they discussed when to tell everyone. Change was something that never settled well with their friends, especially since her return from Paris almost a year ago, and she didn’t want to disturb the relative peace they had all found after so much upheaval. But she was looking forward to being able to love him in public, to hold his hand in front of their friends and feel the press of his lips against her cheek when they were somewhere other than one of their apartments or hotel rooms. She knew Aaron would tell their friends in a heartbeat, that he wanted everyone to know they belonged to each other, that it was her anxiety holding them back. He was endlessly patient with her and frequently assured her they’d take it at her pace. 

She blows out a breath as she leaves the elevator, leaving any thoughts about anything other than having breakfast with her boyfriend behind. 

She smiles as soon as she spots him in the restaurant. He’s sitting alone in a large booth, clearly having asked for a table big enough for the whole team. She gives her room number to the waiter and walks over, smiling at Aaron as she slips into the booth, moving around until she sits next to him. This had become a tradition of sorts for them almost as soon as they got together. They’d meet for breakfast before anyone else came down from their rooms, both of them desperate to have as much time together as possible, the thought that they’d already lost so much time over the years never too far away, always lingering the back of their minds with a tinge of regret. 

“Morning,” she says, as if she hadn’t snuck out of his room just 30 minutes ago, the taste of his kiss still lingering on hers as she walked back to her room, the chill of the hallway replacing the warmth of him pressed against her skin. 

“Morning,” he replies, smiling at her softly, nodding towards the cup of coffee and plate with two pastries on it in front of her, “I got you some coffee and something to eat.” 

If he was anyone else she knows it would irritate her. She’d been on dates before when the guy she was with would order for her without even asking, a smug smile on his face as he handed the menus back to the waiter as if what he’d just done was something close to charming. 

With Aaron it was different, he ordered her things he knew she liked. He knew she drank coffee first thing in the morning despite still mostly preferring tea, and he knew she liked to start the day with something sweet to eat. It was one of the many subtle ways he would show his love for her and she adored it. He was the only person in her life she trusted to take care of her, the only person she’d allow to do so, and she wanted nothing more than to let him for the rest of their lives. 

“Thanks, honey,” she says quietly, letting the nickname slip free because they were alone. Her prize is a widening of his smile, the appearance of the dimples in his cheeks that she loves to press her thumbs into when she kisses him. 

“You’re welcome,” he replies, placing his hand on her thigh, the move hidden by the table, and he squeezes tightly for a moment before he strokes his thumb back and forth, the heat of his skin warming her even through the material of her pants. He smiles when she yawns as she reaches for her coffee, “Tired?”

She hums, narrowing her eyes at the sparkle in his, the soft, funny side of him she would have once thought he wasn’t capable of, “I didn’t get a lot of sleep.” 

She can’t help but smile when he tightens his grip on her leg, purposely pressing his fingers into bruises he’d sucked into her skin the night before, “Me neither.” 

They sit and eat breakfast together, talking about Jack and their plans for when they get home. For her, home was wherever Aaron was. She spent most of her time at his place these days, his closet half full of her clothes and her favourite book on the nightstand on her side of his bed. On the nights she did go back to her apartment it felt empty, quiet in a way she would have once found peace in but now found suffocating. She hadn’t even completely unpacked yet, a couple of boxes of her things still stacked in the home office. Aaron asked her every time he was over if she wanted him to help unpack them for her but she always said no, distracting him with a smile and a kiss, because unpacking felt pointless. Especially since she was sure she’d officially move in with him soon, the moment their friends knew about them the final catalyst they’d need.

She turns to look at him, to sneak a peek of the slope of his nose, the sharp edges of his jaw, and her eyes meet his. Every time she looked at him, he was already looking at her, adoration leaking from every pore in a way that made her fall even more in love with him. 

“What?” She asks, her cheeks warm with a tinge of embarrassment as his smile gets wider. 

“Nothing,” he says, his eyes flicking towards the restaurant entrance, leaning back a little when he sees the rest of the team walking towards them, “You’re just beautiful, that’s all.” 

She doesn’t have time to respond before the others sit down, bringing her alone time with Aaron to an end until they either solve the case and go home or come back to the hotel that evening. 

“Good morning,” Dave says as he sits down, sliding into the booth next to Emily, followed by Derek on his other side, “How did everyone sleep?” 

“Like a baby,” Aaron says, hiding his smile behind his coffee as runs his thumb up the inseam of Emily’s pants. She glances at him through the side of her eyes and places her hand over his on her leg, her nails digging into his skin a little, something that only seems to encourage him more, “What about you, Prentiss? How did you sleep?”

“I slept okay,” she says, raising her eyebrow at him, “My bed was comfortable. A little too warm though.” 

He shakes his head at her subtly, something only she picks up on, and she presses her lips together to stop herself from smiling. She picks up her coffee to take a sip, distracting herself with the warmth of it.

“You guys are lucky,” JJ says from the end of the table, nodding towards Spencer who was sitting next to her, “Someone on my floor sounded like they were filming a porno in their room,” she says, “I’m surprised you didn’t hear it Hotch, you’re only a few rooms down from me.” 

Emily coughs, choking on the coffee she was swallowing, and everyone looks at her. Aaron pats her on the back, his touch simultaneously helping clear her chest and putting her more on edge. 

“You ok, Prentiss?” Aaron asks, concern slipping into his expression.

“I’m fine,” she wheezes, reaching for a glass of water, “The coffee just went down the wrong way, that’s all.” 

“Maybe this is why you never used to have breakfast with us, Bella,” Dave says, a smirk spreading across his face, “You can’t even drink a cup of coffee correctly first thing in the morning.” 

She narrows her eyes at him, “Shut up, Dave.”

___

He’d once convinced himself he’d never find love again. 

He told himself he didn’t deserve another chance, that Haley had been his one shot and he’d messed it up and that he’d have to spend the rest of his life alone. It was a thought that was only solidified when he’d been unable to save her, her death something that he carried on his shoulders everywhere he went, the weight of it sometimes insurmountable as he watched Jack grow, something Haley would never be able to do. 

He was somewhere close to content with it. The loneliness he’d feel a penance of sorts, a punishment he deserved for not being able to keep his family together and safe.

Then Emily happened. She came back from Paris, fragile in a way only he seemed to be able to see. Everyone else wanted her back as who she was before, their own trauma around what had happened to her, the loss they’d experienced when they thought she was dead, clouding their judgement when it came to how she was doing. 

Aaron knew he was in love with her the moment he sent her away. He’d visited her in the hospital, still wearing the suit he’d worn to her funeral, and apologised to her even though she was unconscious, sedated so she didn’t feel the immeasurable pain her body was in. It was the first time he’d held her hand, her skin colder than he now knew it usually was, and he’d struggled to let go. 

He hadn’t wanted to lose her again, so he’d told her to tell him when she was having a bad day, initially under the guise of needing to know as her boss, a weak excuse that fell away the first day he showed up on her doorstep, Jack by his side, as he insisted she came with them to the park. Things between them had developed quickly, the friendship they’d had before Ian had come into their lives back on track before that itself transformed into something new. He’d felt the shift between them, always caught her looking at him when she thought he wasn’t looking, but he’d held back, not wanting to force her into a situation she wasn’t comfortable with when she was still trying to recover.

She’d kissed him first. Her lips soft against his one evening as they sat together on his couch, his life shifting on its axis again just mere feet away from the last time it had, the outline of where he’d almost bled out on his apartment floor by Foyet’s hand still visible to him occasionally in the dead of night. 

After that, he couldn’t believe he’d once convinced himself he could live without love. Being loved by Emily was something he now couldn’t live without. She always had been a woman of contradictions, and the way she loved was no different. She was subtle about it - leaving him little notes or drawing hearts in the steam on the mirror after she’d showered. She’d make sure he ate at work and switch his coffee to decaf halfway through the day so he’d have some chance of sleeping. She helped Jack with his homework, or played video games with him, purposely losing at MarioKart at the last second so the little boy would win.

She was also loud about her love for him. She’d tell him all the time, the words she’d initially struggled to set free escaping all the time, pressed against his lips each morning as they got out of bed, or his neck as she drifted to sleep at night. She was tactile, finding ways to touch him all the time, even in front of their friends as she let her fingers linger over his when she passed him a case file or a cup of coffee. She spent money on him like it was no issue, which he knew it wasn’t for her, leading to an argument once over her buying him a $15,000 watch when he broke his one morning. 

He hoped more than anything that she felt as loved as he did, that she knew how precious she was to him. How much he treasured her. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops, to tell everyone how much he loved her, and he knew he would be able to soon, when they finally told their friends they were together. He could wait as long as she needed him to, but he could tell she was close to feeling comfortable with it - her desire to move forward with him, to move in officially, finally outweighing her anxiety around the team's reactions. 

He smiles as he hears her laugh across the conference room they’d set up in. He looks up to find her talking to Dave, a smile on her face as the other man rolls his eyes, clearly at the expense of whatever joke she’d told. He loved her smile. It always lit up whatever room she was in, her beauty drawing in those around her. She looks over at him as if she could sense him looking, and he sees the familiar love sparkling in her eyes. It was the same way she looked at him when they were spending a casual Saturday with Jack, or the way she would look at him when he woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, the ghost of Foyet’s knife hot in his chest. She’d sit up with him, her hand on the back of his neck and her forehead against his until his breathing slowed down, and then she’d pull back and look at him, her eyes full of love and affection as she talked to him about anything and everything as he came back to himself. 

Aaron clears his throat and the team falls into silence as they walk over and sit down he doesn’t miss the flash of amusement that flits across Emily’s face as she takes her seat. She made no secret of the fact she enjoyed it when he commanded a room without even speaking. 

“There was another attack overnight,” he says as he sits down too, “Dave, I need you and Reid to go to the crime scene, see if you can pick up on anything that the locals missed,” he waits for them to nod in confirmation before he turns to Emily, “Em, you and Morgan should go to the hospital - talk to last nights victim.” He frowns when Emily’s eyes go wide, a reaction shortly followed by everyone else tilting their heads at him curiously, looking back and forth between him and Emily, “What?” 

“You called her Em,” Dave says, his eyes narrowing as he looks between them, and Aaron curses himself internally, swallowing thickly as he looks back at Emily who was staring at the table to avoid eye contact with everyone, “Oh my god.” 

Spencer frowns, “I’m confused.” 

“They’re sleeping with each other,” Derek says, his arms crossed tight over his chest, his jaw tense. 

JJ chuckles and leans back in her chair, “Pen was convinced you were seeing someone and I thought she was being crazy.” 

“I’m still confused,” Spencer says, his eyebrows creasing together, “Why does Hotch calling her Em mean they are sleeping together?” 

Dave rolls his eyes, “Because he never calls her anything other than Prentiss. Emily would be weird enough, Em is a whole new-”

“That’s enough,” Aaron says, finally finding his voice, cutting over any further conversation. He looks at Emily and she’s already looking at him, and she nods ever so slightly, silent permission to carry on, “Yes, Emily and I are together,” he holds up his hand to stop them from talking again, his expression stern as he keeps them quiet, “But we are at work and there is an unsub to catch. This can wait.” 

He knows they aren’t happy, a mix of irritation and amusement painted across their faces, but they nod, each of them standing up and ready to go. He gets Emily’s attention, his hand around her wrist in a display of affection he’ll allow himself this once. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, swallowing thickly against the guilt that climbs up his throat, “I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay,” she replies, placing her hand over his as she smiles at him, “I know you didn’t mean to,” she looks over her shoulder and sees their friends looking at them, apart from JJ who was furiously texting, “They know now at least.” 

Aaron looks at Derek, the tension in the man’s frame clear from across the room, “Do you need me to talk to him?” 

Emily smiles lovingly at him and shakes his head, “I can handle Derek,” she frowns as her phone vibrates in her pocket and she rolls her eyes as she opens a text and turns her phone to show him, “Pen knows.” 

YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH THE BOSSMAN?! CALL ME NOW. 

He groans, “It’s going to be a long day.” 

She hums, “So long.”

___

Emily groans as she sits down on the couch in Aaron’s office, “Do you think you could ban them from talking about our relationship ever again?” 

He smiles as he kisses the top of her head before he walks to his desk, putting down the case files in his hand, “Sorry, sweetheart, I don’t think the president himself could stop them.” 

She scoffs jokingly and narrows her eyes at him, “What is the point of sleeping with the boss if he can’t intimidate your friends for you?” 

She was grateful that they’d finished the case as quickly as they had and that they were home. She hadn’t been able to face the idea of heading back to the hotel with them tonight knowing that the team would be aware they’d be heading to the same room. The flight home had been long, an endless barrage of questions about their relationship, about why they’d kept it secret for 8 months. Overall, it had gone better than she’d expected. They were curious, maybe a little hurt that they’d kept a secret, but they were also happy for them, able to see even only with the small amount of context they had that Emily and Aaron were good for each other. 

Derek had, however, reacted exactly as she thought he would. He’d been off with her all day, only speaking about things related to the case, and had been more passive-aggressive with his questioning than the others. He’d implied things she hadn’t fully understood, her confusion only deepening when Aaron had reacted in a way that seemed over the top, his protective instincts kicking in before he could fully stop them. 

“It’s disappointing I know,” he deadpans, walking back over to sit next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. The rest of the team had gone home straight from the jet so it was just the two of them. 

“Can I ask you something?” She says, tilting her head to look at him, and he nods, running his fingers up and down her arm. 

“Anything, you know that.” 

She smiles at him, “What do you Derek meant when he said it was typical for me to sleep with you?” 

He has to cover a growl, the fury he’d felt on the jet coming back in full force as he thinks about it. He’d never told Emily about what Derek had said when she was on the run from Ian, when emotions were running high and everything they’d ever known about her was unravelling right in front of them. He’d been angry at the time when he’d found out about it but had kept it to himself, not wanting to hurt Emily anymore than she’d already been hurt or to fracture her friendship with Derek anymore than it already had been. 

“It’s nothing,” he says, trying to push past it, and she raises her eyebrows at him, her hand reaching for his as she links their fingers together. 

“Aaron, please,” she says, “You almost yelled at him, you looked angry. You clearly thought he was talking about something specific,” she looks at him and waits for him to say something else but he doesn’t. “We don’t lie to each other.” 

He sighs and nods, pulling her slightly closer, “When you were on the run from Ian and we found out about everything, about the nature of your relationship with him, Derek…he said some things,” he says carefully, his heart cracking in his chest when he sees the look on her face, the pieces all falling into place for her.

“Oh,” she says, clearing her throat to try and push her emotions back down into her chest, a mix of anger and sadness burning her from the inside out, “I see.” 

“You know what he’s like, sweetheart,” he says, reaching up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her cheek, “He lashes out when he doesn’t know what else to do. It doesn’t excuse it, but it’s what he does.”

She nods, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she blows out a steady breath, “Yeah,” she says, smiling tightly at him. A thought occurs to her that makes her nauseous, her stomach rolling as she looks back up at him, “It’s never bothered you, has it?” 

He frowns, looking at her like she is crazy, and he shakes his head, pulling her in for a kiss as if to prove his point, before he looks at her, a hand on each of her cheeks as he holds her in place, “There isn’t a single thing you could ever do that would make me any less in awe of you.” 

She chokes on a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob and she shakes her head at him, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he replies, leaning in to kiss her, his lips just shy of hers when there is a squeal at the door, pulling them both apart. Aaron sighs when he sees Penelope standing in the doorway, “Hi Garcia.”

“Hi,” she says, frozen to the spot, her body tense with what they both knew was excitement, as if moving would make her explode, “This is adorable.” 

Emily has to press her lips together to stop herself from laughing at how uncomfortable her boyfriend clearly is. She squeezes his hand, forcing his attention back to her. 

“Honey,” she says, more for Penelope than anyone else, smiling when her friend squeals again, “Why don’t you give us a few minutes?” 

He frowns at her, “This is my office,” he says, and she raises an eyebrow at him. He shakes his head and stamps a kiss to her cheek, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

“Thanks,” she says, watching as he awkwardly nods at Penelope as he walks past her, forcing her to smother another laugh. She smiles at her friend the moment they are alone, “Okay, let me have it.”

Penelope moves faster than Emily thought was possible, already next to her on the couch and talking at the speed of light, “How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell us? JJ wouldn’t tell me anything you told them.” 

“I asked her not to,” Emily explains, “We’ve been together 8 months, and we just…wanted it to ourselves for a while.” 

She knows it’s not a great explanation, that it sounds close to pathetic when said outloud, but it’s the only way she can describe it. She knew on some level she’d miss the secrecy, the way it allowed her to protect something so precious to her for so long, but she was also excited to move forward.

Penelope hums and narrows her eyes, “I’ll accept that for now, but if you think you’re getting away with that answer on the next girl’s night you have another thing coming.” 

Emily laughs and nods, “I’ll have to warn Aaron that you’ll be asking all sorts of questions about our sex life.”

“Bossman does look like he’s got some moves,” Penelope says, “It’s always the quiet, broody ones.” 

Emily hums, “You have no idea.” 

Penelope pulls her into a hug, “I’m so happy for you, Peaches,” she says, squeezing her tightly, “I thought you must have been with someone, you’ve just seemed…lighter recently. I never would have guessed it was Hotch though.” 

She smiles as she pulls back from the hug, “He’s…” she drifts off, not sure how to put it, how to explain just what Aaron was to her, and she sighs, not letting herself overthink it, “Everything.” 

Her friend's eyes go wide and she grasps her hands tightly, “Oh just look at you,” Penelope says, “I’ve never seen you this happy. What did the others say?”

“They were shocked, but happy too,” she says, her smile faltering slightly, “Mostly.” 

Penelope frowns, “What do you mean mostly?” 

Emily sighs,  Aaron’s admission still floating around the back of her mind. She knew she’d have to talk to Derek about it eventually, have it out with him, because she couldn’t let the way he’d spoken about her stand. She wouldn’t let him compare her relationship with Aaron to what she’d had with Ian, wouldn’t let him minimise what she’d fought so hard for. 

“Derek was…being Derek,” she says, scrunching her nose up slightly, “He wasn’t exactly pleased.”

Penelope hums disapprovingly, “You leave him to me, I won’t let him ruin this for me.” 

Emily presses her lips together as an amused smile breaks out across her face, “Don’t you mean you won’t let him ruin his for me and Aaron?” 

Penelope waves at her dismissively, “That too.” 

-x-

Tag List:

@ssa-sparks, @ptrckjcne, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis-22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhwithah, @lex13cm, @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream, @hotchnissgroupie, @controversialpooh, @capsshinyshield, @canuck-eh

Join my tag list here!

[merajsblog]

sirius black x reader

authors note: this takes place back when sirius is in school at hogwarts. SFW. just some brain rot during finals 😭😭

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

sirius has beautiful dark black eyes. they’re the types that suck up all the sun around it, yet still doesn’t get brighter. you loved them. it complimented his dark curls beautifully. his hair had gotten a little longer in the years he had been in hogwarts. his hair framed his pretty little face perfectly, wisps getting caught in the wind as he struggled to tuck his hair behind his ears. you had dragged him out during fall to take a break from studying for final exams. it was chilly, the wind nipping sharply at both of your noses. his scarf was wrapped tightly around your neck, leaving his bare. he didn’t seem to mind.

he watched the lake, corners of his mouth lifting a bit. “i need to get out more..” he says trailing off. hogwarts was beautiful and when you get swept up in school or with people, it could be a little hard to remember the smaller moments. this was one of them. you chuckled, placing your hands on your hips. “i knew you’d like taking a break.” you grin. he lets out a loud sigh before stretching his arms upward, stretching his back out. you two had been cramped up with james and remus, after lily had dragged you all to the library to study. it had been a few hours now. you two sat under the trees at the rocky shore infront of the lake. you two sat close together, trying to somehow make up for the cold that was enclosing on you. definitely wasn’t one of your smarter ideas with the weather, but it was refreshing. eventually, you would all be gathered around the fireplace in the common room, laughing heartily.

sirius was not yours. he was just now exploring himself and what he liked after being confined by his family, and you wanted to give him complete freedom for it. almost everyone knew you loved him. you did not mind. everytime you saw him, you were reminded how nonchalant you failed to be. he would crack jokes that would leave you two with booming laughs that covered the entirety of the lake. small moments like these you wish you could stay in forever. no matter, you did not want to burden him with your feelings. your eyes softly glazed over his cheekbones, his dark black eyes soaking in the cold view infront of him. his lips were pursed with a red color. you softly smiled, looking down at your now muddy boots.

“are you doing alright?” he asked, looking at you. you made eye contact and everything felt slow. your eyes slowly squinting and your lips turning into a smile. “i’m okay sirius. getting by.” you said the corner of your lips lifted. he smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“if there’s anything you need to tell me, you can tell me you know? can’t have anything on ur mind other than finals right now.” he said, looking down at the last part snickering. the lack of eye contact now left you looking around, hopefully he wasn’t going to make you confess now…

“i will. you also have a lot on your mind.” you said, starting to back away. nothing could give you away. you wouldn’t tie him to something again. he was already restricted from his family. you smiled softly, before even quietly saying “let’s go back now.” with your hands behind your back. he stepped infront of you. he was inches from your face. you could feel his hot breathe breathing down your nose, as your eyes connected, feeling like they were reaching out to each other. you felt chills running down your back.

“sirius.” you breathed out. his eyes looked a little more concerned than you anticipated. you couldn’t tell if it was concern for you or him. his eyebrows had slightly furrowed, as his eyes scanned your whole face.

“okay.” he said softly back. he turned you around, leaving a hand on your lower back for a brief second. his touch was warm compared to the cold nipping at your nose, and your fingertips. your mouth had slightly turned down and your brows moving closer together.

“i hope i didn’t upset you there.” he says still looking straight ahead.

“no, you didn’t i’m just thinking…” you said droning off.

the walk back was silent. the slosh from the mud below your feet and whirling wind filled the silence in the air. your shoulders occasionally bumped into each other, as you walked side by side. as you reached the entrance, you broke the silence.

“i’m going to head back to my room.” you said smiling small.

“oh i can walk you back to your-“

“no, no it’s okay! i’m sure your friends are waiting for you at the library.” you said cutting him off softly. you wanted a minute away, after the rollercoaster of emotions you felt. he managed to look even more concerned. his brows clearly furrowed, his eyes focused on yours. you reached your hand out, touching his arm.

“i’m fine i will see you at dinner.” you said smiling really. you weren’t upset with him or anything, just…discombobulated. a lot had happened and a lot almost happened. you let out a sigh, moving your arm back, as you turned swiftly to leave. he stood their, almost dejected looking. surely he didn’t ruin one of his most valuable relationships…

[imaginespazzi]

GH Chapter 6 babyyyyy. Oooh girl, I needed this fluff! Feeling a little down in the dumps as our embryo transfer failed, and honestly this perked me up! No worries though I am remaining positive as we have a few more frozen embryos so we shall try again :) But truly reading this chapter yesterday gave me such a boost! Thank you :) REACTIONS - My only negative feedback/correction is that it is indeed, as easy for a literal child to buy alcohol in eastern Europe as it is to buy coke 😂😂😂 wild place. - The whole sequence of them in the gazebo, P bringing up the date, the angst, anticipation, butterflies brought me back to being 15. Which is a huge feat because girl, it was a while ago lol - "She does none of the above. Instead Azzi kisses Paige back." Oh thank the lord above Azzi Fudd LET YOUR LOINS LEAD YOU and chill a bit - Their hearts talking to each other. What a beautiful depiction of what it would feel like to be kissing your person again after all this time. Although I am firmly in the camp of them having had some sort of physical/sexual interaction either during Ps marriage or after her divorce teehee - “I- I broke your heart. I broke us. How could you possibly want that again. How could you possibly want me again?” AZZI does she have to spell it out in sky writing? She loves you and will always love you and will always want you. Forever. One step forward two steps back with this one eh - "Take it slow and see where it goes and maybe we’ll- maybe we’ll be even better this time.” See Paige is wise. Our dumb blonde is not so dumb when it comes to MATTERS OF THE HEART. And Vagina. - THE RULES. You been spending too much time w/ @pb524830 haha. Hopefully you don't EDGE US TO DEATH like a certain someone did for the first part of PnP. - I wanna know did they like sit down and have a formal conversation about what the rules are? Also what is within the kissing boundary lol Tongue? Little boob squeeze? Giving themselves blue-clits over here. Better buy batteries for their vibrators at Costco prob going through a couple double-As every 3 days. - But in all honestly the thought of them making out on Azzis couch after Stephie is in bed, then having to separate and have Paige go back to her house at the end of the night is very high school and precious and cute. - Ok girl you know the car seat thing was the highlight for me. You put a big smile on my face by including that I LOVED IT. And its pu-ple!!!! cute cute cute cute - “You look really happy today sweetheart,” Tim says softly. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 - Dying at the contrast of Stephie thinking the sun shines out of P's ass and she is the moral and Christ-like center of the universe while Jon and Jose are like um no this bitch is a menace you don't even know - Awwww are the 3 of them gonna sleep in a queen sized bed w/ Stephie in the middle. I can't. Lil family - “you won’t- you won’t run away again tomorrow morning will you?” make me cry again why don't you - I think hearing EVERYONE around her calling P 'Paige' has gotta switch up Stephies name for her at some point. Maybe hearing Drew call her Paigey will influence her? Overall this was such delicious fluff and perfect whisps of angst. Made my day- my week! Thank you for sharing your talent with us. Am I terrified for whats to come? YUP! But hopefully you can preserve our hearts a little bit by keeping up some tender fluff throughout 😭 <3 🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼

Aww bby sending you so much virtual love and hugs. I'm glad this chapter cheered you up and I'm manifesting so hard for it to work next time <3

LMAO I did actually think of this but then was like when would Paige have time to just walk around Minsk and find alcohol lol?

That whole scene is veryy vaguely inspired by my own first kiss so it was actually pretty easy to write and I just channeled my inner 15 year old (been a while for me too) into it

NOT THE LOINS LMAO I had a feeling you'd appreciate the "plot twist"

Azzi's just an overthinker BUT SHE'S WORKING ON IT! In the meantime I guess blondie has custody of their one shared braincell.

LMAO I don't think anyone will ever get to the level of edging that @pb524830 did like she's simply just the queen of sexual tension and making us suffer.

THE CAR SEAT SCENE REALLY WAS FOR YOU SO I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT

I'm so attached to Miss Buecks like I lowkey don't want to have Stephie call her anything else and I can't think of any other original nickname that only Stephie would call her.

[winniethewife]

It's undeniably real (Layla El-Faouly x The Moonknight system x Reader)

Chapter 8: They're not enough

Warning: Angst, Hospital scenes, Hurt/comfort.

Last Chapter ~ Next Chapter

Words:1042

I wasn’t the same after that day, I wasn’t meant to be the same after…But will they ever look at me the same after this? Will they still love me the same? Knowing who I really am. Knowing the monster I could become? I feel like theres a bomb in my chest, any minute I will explode and hurt everyone I care about.

They sat in the hospital waiting room, Layla bouncing her leg as she stares at the doors to the surgery ward. Steven sits next to her, a bundle of nerves. The headspace unusually quiet as the moments pass, and they wait.

“Today is the beginning of your training, you will learn to be the greatest asset to the system, and you will learn to eliminate any target required of you. Is that Clear?” the headmistress spoke to me while placing the room.

“What is the system? I thought this was a school for advanced academics?” I asked confused. She gave me a glare, her ice blue eyes bore into me and I felt a chill creep over me.

“You will not question me, you will do as you are told. Is that clear?” She asked even more coldly than before.

“Yes…” I say. And that was the moment my whole life changed forever. Over the next four years I spent my weeks learning to fence, to shoot, to fight. I knew a thousand ways to kill a man, and there was no turning back. I never figured out what “the system” was or why we were meant to serve it. But I do remember the day it collapsed. The academy staff were panicking, it was days until graduation, a hundred of us trained to kill, now without purpose. I put on my uniform and walked out of my dorm. Just as I was turning the corner I hear the Headmistress calling my name…I turn as she Summons me to her office. I walk in and I take a seat in front of her.

“You know, you’re one of our best students of all my time here I’ve never seen a brighter woman and a more skilled combatant.”

“Thank you Ma’am.”

“I have to ask you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

“I need you to forget, forget any of it happened.”

“What do you mean Ma’am?” I look at her confused. She held up this aerosol can

“I’m going to use this on you, It’s going to put you in a trance, at which point I’m going to have you forget everything from these last years. Before you say anything else I have to do this to everyone, but I wanted to tell you first…I am very proud of you, and I know you will be amazing.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Then time stopped and faded away.

~

I opened my eyes slowly and looked around the hospital room, Layla was sitting on the bed holding my hand.

“Layla…” I tried to sit up.

“Shhh…woah there, Habibi. Don’t move, we’re at the hospital. They got the bullet out of you. You gave us a fright there…”

“I...Did you..?” I couldn’t talk as fast as my mind was running, I wanted to tell her that I remembered, I wanted to ask if they had causght the cult I needed to know.

“No, we haven’t caught them, you come first you know this. Steven is getting us a flight out of here in a few days, the doc says you should be fine to go home by then.”

“But…”

“But nothing. We can get this figured out after you recover. Hanukah is soon, hopefully over the holidays nothing will happen. You will get better, then we can take them down.” She insists. Before I can make any other argument Steven comes into the room and his eyes widen.

“Oh thank god love, you’re awake!” Steven exclaimed as he rushed to my side, his hand cups my face, pressing his forehead to mine as tears stream down his face. Those sad brown eyes look into mine. “We were so worried darling. You can’t do that. Ever again.”

“Steven it’s not like I tried to get shot!” I laugh slightly running my fingers through his hair as he pressed his face to mine, the look of worry and his quivering lip, I smile and I kiss him softly, he hesitates before kissing me back eagerly, like the only cure for his sadness would be found in my lips, after a moment he pulls away.

“Sorry, Lovey. I know, I just…We were sure we were too late. I was so scared…I donno what we would’ve done if…”

“Shh…It didn’t happen okay? I’m okay, I’m going to be okay.” I reassured him, glancing at Layla who was wiping tears from her own eyes, I take her hand again and squeeze it gently. That’s when I knew…I couldn’t tell them. Not yet.

~

Once we’re back home, I think that it’s all going to be okay the nightmares will pass and things will return to normal, But I’m quickly proven wrong. Sitting up quickly from the bed after experiencing another terrifying nightmare, one I can’t tell what might be a memory or a made up thought, I look around our bedroom, tears streaking down my face.

“Babe…Another Nightmare?” Marc sits up from where Steven had fallen asleep holding me on one side while Layla lay on the other. I couldn’t even speak, I just nodded. Marc hummed and put an arm around me, whispering softly comforting words that I wasn’t paying enough attention to identify, my heart couldn’t stop pounding. Even as he pulled me into a closer embrace I felt the numbness return, a feeling I used to just associate with this forgotten past now lingers in my life, making unwelcomed visits even in the most intimate of moments. Marc says something directly to me and I completely miss it.

“Hm? What?” I tried to shake off the feeling but it just sticks around. Marc chuckles.

“C’mon, let’s get back to sleep. No more nightmares. I’ll keep them away.”

“Okay…I love you.” I say softly as he pulls me back into bed.

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.” I sleepily mumble, getting another chuckle from Marc.

~

Masterlist

Taglist: @redeyerhaenyra @summonthesoups

[carsonnieve]

masterpost of my fics on ao3

Just doing this because I want to have something pinned on my page here but well, a reminder of my old fics from different fandoms because kudos and comments are appreciated as well so it motivates me to keep on writing. Hopefully there's new ones updated soon as long as my inspiration kicks in.

Currenly working on two mevie fics so let's see how that goes!

username: carsonnieve

Let's start with the ones that are completed and I'm really proud of.

it's always about fate pairing: beca and chloe (pitch perfect) rating: T

Summary: Chloe sighed and walked in the coffee shop with the phone in her hands. She didn’t want to have this conversation today and yet there she was, talking about it when she just wanted a coffee and have a relaxing afternoon writing down new ideas for her stories and not pining over her online friend. Then the moment she looked up she saw someone she really wanted to see too and the reason why her heart was so divided and yet confusing. Beca.

2. unsay these spoken words pairing: regina mills and emma swan (once upon a time) rating: T

Summary: Because maybe, after all, she could take the pain and continue with her life. But maybe she thought she could, when actually her heart was already broken and the scattered pieces all over her chest were not enough to make her realize that she was alone, and hurt. She had hope... until she saw the ring on her finger.

3. fool for you pairing: harry hook x evie grimhilde (descendants) rating: T

Summary: Her smile forever gone after the images came back to her mind, sending chills all over her body and a strange feeling going slowly up her spine. And in that instant, she closed her eyes. Right when it hit her. Right when Harry stood up and placed a hand on her arm. “It reminds ye o’ that night, eh?"

4. let me pairing: mal and evie (descendants) rating: T

Summary: "Mal?" "I'm fine. Let's change and go dance, okay?" The girl tried to slip away from her arms but Evie kept holding her because she knew something was off. And it was right there, in that hug, when she felt a sting of pain way worse than the last. Her hand immediately went to her skin to keep it hidden. But Evie's eyes were already on the injury. And Mal was so ready to hear her complain about the dress she just destroyed because she wasn't careful enough with it. And to be honest, she just couldn't deal with that in that exact moment.

5. watch me ride the beat pairing: mal and evie (descendants) rating: E

Summary: “Oh! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking.” Wow, she’s even prettier in front of me. Evie thought with both of her hands on her shoulders for support, as the blonde’s hands kept a hold on her hips, keeping her still. “I’m really sorry.” The brunette ran her fingers through her hair and her other hand touched the girl’s nape, without her even noticing it. She seemed to be too busy holding Evie by her waist. Her fingers slightly touching her bare back. “Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. I wasn’t paying attention either.” or the smutty club!au fic no one asked for but i needed to write

and here comes the unfinished ones but that will be finished one day, trust me.

some things are meant to be pairing: mal and evie (descendants) rating: M

Summary: Everyone knew what a soulmate was back in Auradon, where princes and princesses lived their own happily ever after. Where their parents taught them what true love was without fear. Needless to say they believed in their own destiny but the idea of having a soulmate was so exciting for all of them. But back on The Isle… Descendants of pure evil weren’t fond of the idea, especially considering what their parents taught them; "love is not for us, love is weakness, we’re villains and you are our next generation to take over the world and finally get the revenge we so desire." But everything changed when four of them were sent to Auradon. And it all started when two girls were 6 years old... or the Soulmate!AU nobody asked for but I really wanted to write.

2. to find the light even in the darkest places pairing: mal and evie (descendants + shadowhunters universe) rating: E

Summary: Evie and Harry are two of the best shadowhunters of their generation. They never get in trouble and they always get the job perfectly done… until they go on a mission and everything starts to change and leads them into an unexpected path. Should they continue their normal lives or live as they want to without thinking of the consequences? Is it more important to find and follow love than their duties as shadowhunters and working for the Clave? Even when a new source of evil arises and things start to get more serious… is everything worth fighting for? It all starts with a simple order from the Clave… or the shadowhunters!au no one asked for but we needed to write

There's also two in Spanish in case I have followers who actually speaks the language and not just me and the last one is one of my favorites from my favorite couple so please check it out, thanksssss!!

[starlightshadowsworld]

Chained wolves

@jankwritten here it is

.

If there was ever a scene Nico didn't want to ruin, it was this. He was sprawled across Jason's lap on the outskirts of Camp.

Away from prying eyes.

It was their little spot, even the nymphs didn't bother them here.

Jason was leaning against a tree, his fingers brushing through Nico's hair with a soft smile.

Nico smiled back at him, cascaded in sunshine and Jason's smile.

Nico could stay here forever if he could.

But alas duty calls.

"It's time" he said Jason with a sigh. Jason somehow smiled even more warmly, like he had been blessed by Apollo himself.

"Have fun"

Nico snorted, it was some errand his dad needed his 'expertise with.'

"I'll try. I shouldn't be long, only a couple hours or so. Will you stay here?" Asked Nico, tilting his head.

"I promise" says Jason earnestly, sky blue orbs boring into his molten. Nico smiles, getting to his feet and pecking Jason on the cheek.

Before vanishing into shadows.

________________

Jason watched the spot Nico had left, unable to take his eyes off it.

He had slumped against the tree but it was as if all his bones had left with Nico.

Her voice was soft as it always was, but their was a hint of fear.

... No...

'Will you stay here'

"We're going to play a game Jason, a game you love those don't you?"

He didn't want to play.

He was cold

"You're gonna stay here love, right here for mama. Like a good little boy, and when mama comes back you win."

Numbness descended into his veins.

There was a chill in the air yet it was bright and sunny.

"Promise me baby, promise me Jason you'll stay here. Right here, do not move an inch of you'll lose."

He wanted to scream.

'I promise.'

"I promise mama."

He heard howls.

He felt claws snag his body, one far to small to be him.

Far too frail.

Far too afraid.

Your mother's not coming, pup.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Jason wondered why he couldn't move.

_____________

Nico sighed.

Typical.

His quick errand to the Underworld hadn't been nearly as quick as he had been assured.

He didn't voice his complaints but his mood was sour and everyone knew it.

Not that they said anything.

Demigod or not Nico was still the Ghost King.

Hades had been apologetic but it did little too soothe Nico's mood.

They'd stopped for a while, hopefully he was nearly done.

He'd been gone for almost a week, and in his haste and the severe lack of rainbow making equipment.

("I'm sorry I didn't come prepared to stay here this long, dad!")

Nico hadn't been able to contact Jason.

Jason hadn't tried contacting him but that didn't suprise Nico very much. His boyfriend was a stickler for the rules, even if he was making his way out of his shell.

Being raised in a military setting did that to a guy.

And the idea of taking Nico's attention from a errand his father, Lord Hades himself has personally asked him for?

Jason wouldn't dream of interrupting.

He was cute like that.

Nico took out the drachma and spray bottle his father had handed him moments prior.

Better late than never.

Percy's face lit up the screen, he was sat by the lake with Annabeth at his side. Both seemed to be debating something before Percy waved at him.

"Hey Nico, how's the trip been? Has dear old uncle requested my return?" He grinned, Nico snorted

After... Everything he and Percy had a talk. A real and much needed talk.

They had grown from it and Percy had supported him in confessing to Jason, he was so happy for them he almost cried.

His friendship with Annabeth had also begun to bloom, after many afternoons of fondly watching their significant dorks being dorks together.

"Nah I think you've been banned for the foreseeable future." Grinned Nico, Percy pouted before snorting.

Annabeth shook her head, amused "you just calling to check in or is something up?"

Perceptive as usual.

"Yeah I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind telling Jason I'll be back soon."

It'd be a lil suprise and give him a chance to go run to the nearest shop and get those mini chocolate chip cookies Jason adored.

As a 'I'm sorry I left for so long' gift.

That and cuddles.

"Nico"

Percy was all wide eyed and panicked.

"We thought Jason went with you" He finished slowly.

Nico blinked "what? No, this was just a Ghost King thing my dad wanted..." He trailed off, eyes sharp.

"He's not at Camp?"

Annabeth shook her head "we haven't seen him since you left....we thought he was with you... I wonder if he went to Camp Jupiter? We can IM Reyna or Hazel if you'd like?"

Nico shook his head "no its okay, I'll IM myself. Thanks, see you guys." He waved a hand through their image before either could say goodbye.

Guilt pooled in Nico's stomach.

Although he was saddened by the news, he understood.

Nice had been gone way longer than he had said so.

Jason while someone who frequented Camp Half-blood, his home was at Camp Jupiter and it made sense for him to leave.

But the fact he hadn't told anyone was what struck Nico, Jason always told at least 5 people where he was going at any given time.

Again, being raised in a military setting does that you.

Nico shook his head before IMing Jason.

The scene he saw shocked him.

Jason was at Camp all right.

Exactly where Nico had left him.

He was curled up against the tree, in his camp shirt and jeans just as he had been before.

His soft wavy hair was a mess, like someone had struck him with lighting... His hands clenching his locks tightly.

Nico didn't so much say Jason's name but scream it.

"Jason!"

Jason rolled his head limply, as if it took all his strength to do so.

Eyes blinking blearily and reaching for his glasses that had dropped to the floor.

Jason who was careful about everything abd never let a speck of dust touch his frames, put the now frankly filthy lenses on his face.

It did little to calm Nico down.

His face was nothing but horror.

Jason squinted and faced Nico.

"Nico" he said softly.

It would be so endearing if not for the present situation.

But Nico forced himself to be calm.

"Jason, hey sweetie. What, what are you doing out here?"

Jason nodded, moving his arm from around his waist to tap the tree. And Nico tried not to cringe as his bones popped.

"Promised"

Nico stared at him wide eyed.

... No... No he wouldn't have.

But their was no mistaking Jason's crumpled and unkempt appearance.

"Jason... How.. How long have you been out here hun?"

Jason, who had been zoning out during Nico's inner panic raised his head to look at him.

Letting Nico see the bags under his eyes.

The sheen of what must've been tear tracks on his face.

"You went, I stay. I promised."

He nods, though Nico doesn't miss the wince he makes at moving.

"Jase... I didn't mean out here. Just at Camp." Explains Nico, he can feel his heartbreaking.

Jason looks for all the world like a kicked puppy.

A gust of wind blows past and he shivers, his lips a startling shade of blue.

"You said stay, I promised. I won't... I won't go... I won't run, not again..." Mumbles Jason.

His body starts to fall and in seconds Nico is kneeling before him, catching him in his arms.

Nico takes off his jacket, settling on Jason's shoulders to give him some warmth.

The sunshine of their last encounter is long forgotten hidden in the clouds and roaring winds.

"I won't leave you..."

Jason looks up at him, eyes glazed like he's not entirely seeing Nico.

... Which means someone hurt Jason.

Hurt him to the point a simple promise of stay meant plant your feet to the ground and don't move.

Nico would them pay even if it threathed another war.

For now... For now Jason came first.

Nico held him in his arms, letting Jason know he was here.

"Hey, I'm not mad at you sweetie. But we've gotta get you outta this weather, I've got you hun but I need you to stand for me."

Jason, bless his heart stood up on wobbly legs looking like a newborn deer and would've fallen if not for Nico.

And by the God's he wasn't even wearing shoes.

"That's it sweetheart, I've got you." He said picking Jason up bridal style.

Jason slumped in his arms, as they shadow traveled to the infirmary.

______________

Jason was out like a light and Nico sat on one of the chairs, brushing his hair from his face.

It hasn't been good.

Will had confirmed it from examining Jason that he hadn't moved from his spot since Nico had left.

Jason was a survivor, he'd had it drilled into his bones and had somehow managed to nab fruit from the tree but it hadn't been much.

Frankly it was a miracle he was alive.

He was swaddled in thick warm blankets and had some sort of IV in his arm.

There was also Leo, who had stormed in once news broke. Took one look at his best friend and crawled into his bed, holding him close and hoping to raise his temperature.

Jason had yet to wake up, but he was so clearly emotionally and physically exhausted it made sense.

Nico didn't dare leave his side.

Questions plagued him, and maybe he had been thinking out loud because Leo looked up at him.

"Did he make a promise?"

Nico nodded numbly, still shaken.

Leo wasn't angry like Nico expected, he looked upset and held Jason even closer.

"Oh Jase..."

"Do you... Do you know why he..."

He couldn't finish the thought but Leo understood.

"Normally I wouldn't say but... Yeah. Soo... When Jason was around 2 years old his mum gave him up as a sacrifice to Lupa. To make sure Jason stayed in place for the wolves to get him... She made him promise to stay in place till she came back."

If Nico's heart had broken earlier, it shattered in that moment.

Jason than whimpered... Whimpered and Nico gently kissed his cheek and ran his fingers through his hair while Leo cuddled him close.

Jason calmed, drifting back into unconsciousness as Nico fell heavily into his seat.

He hadn't known..

He hadn't known and he didn't blame Jason one bit.

He was definitely taking a trip to wherever his mother hand ended up, because he knew the woman was dead.

A mercy from the fates because Nico would have destroyed her himself if she still breathed.

How dare... How dare anyone do that to their baby.

To traumatise your baby to the point he was terrified of breaking promises and made himself sit outside in the cold alone for 7 days because he was terrified of being abandoned.

"I've got you Jason" said Nico, holding his hand in his.

He was going to be with him every step of the way.

He was going to show Jason he would never be abandoned again.

He was going to hold him when he broke down and reassure him everytime this wasn't his fault.

He was going to be specific and careful wit his wording and make sure Jason understood... And have someone with him when Nico had to leave.

Jason had held Nico, helped him heal from his past and Nico would return that favour tenfold.

"I promise."

[pbandjesse]

Well our appliances were not delivered today. Sad. The dryer is permanently out of stock. But good news, James was able to talk to a very helpful customer service woman and got us a different one, even price matched it to the original one. Even though this one was more expensive. So now we are getting them next Friday.

But I did not know for sure if the delivery was going to happen today. So I was just a little stressed about it when I woke up. When I woke up I was not going to get up right away. No need to. But then I heard a box truck outside and absolutely panicked and threw on clothes just in case. It was very stupid. I went downstairs and waited to see what they were delivering and it ended up being a bookcase for our neighbor. I would take a deep breath and text James to see what was up. And went to take a shower and brush my teeth and calm myself down.

I felt a lot better after the shower. It was nice to be clean. And honestly today was the best I have felt in forever. I didn't even take my medicine. I just felt fine. I was low energy for sure. But I wasn't sick and that just made my heart feel so light.

I would have some brioche and ice tea for breakfast. And took the animals outside. It was just a little drizzly out today and was humid but it was really nice having the door open. Even if it lets flies in. I just want the windows/door open all the time. I can't wait til we have a screen door. Hopefully soon. We paid for it! We are just waiting for the custom sized door to be made.

I would do a ton of knitting work today. I only have 4 cream color squares to finish (it was 7 at the begining of the day but I would make 3 throughout the day) . And I would work hard to sew all my other squares together. It's such a sweet little piece. I am still going to make a boarder but I love the checker.

I would also cut and measure all of the yarn for my temperature blanket for July. I attached the June rectangle as well. But cutting and making the yarn took forever. I would have worked on August too but I ran out of the color for 70s. I will probably go to the craft store to look tomorrow. But I'm not to worried. It'll get done.

I would have a little lunch. Watch some videos. Worked on knitting. Sewed sewed sewed. I would occasionally go outside to check on the animals. I was just having a chill day.

I made strawberry lemonade but it really needed more lemon and we only had powder lemon packets. Not the same. Maybe when I go to the store tomorrow I'll pick up some lemons too.

Celia would come over to hang out for a few hours at 130. It was nice to hang out with her. She would change out of her internship clothes once she got here. And we sat on the couch and talked. I worked on my knitting and sewing. It was a chill hang out.

Eventually I made us nachos and we played the frog detective game. The second chapter/sequel was much more involved. We got to decorate a notebook, which we took very seriously. And she narrated all of the speech bubbles, gave everyone accents and everything. It was a lot of fun.

When we finished the game, after having some candy and laughing and having a good time, I realized I was ridiculously tired and just be er fed to lay down. So Celia said she would head out. I'm really glad we got to hang out today.

I wouldnt actually sleep. But I would be horizontal and just rested my body. And soon James was home.

They were very sad. Some hockey players were biking and got hit by an aggressive drunk driver and died. Two brothers. The day before their sister's wedding. Horrible. An absolute tragedy. And they were really torn up about it. Especially because people have been very aggressive towards them lately on their bike. It sucks. People need to calm down, people are literally dying.

They would go upstairs to record an addendum to their podcast about the hockey players. Just to get their feelings out. I would just lay down on the couch. Eventually they would have showered and came and laid with me and held me which was really nice.

Eventually I moved upstairs. I took the kinesiology tape off that I've been wearing the last couple days and even though I was careful I still tore my skin a bit and it hurt. So after dinner (Mac and cheese), I took a bath and tried to carefully get the excess glue off and take care of my poor torn skin. Ouch.

Now me and James are in bed. We might watch more vampire show. But my head hurts a bit and I am very tired. But thankfully not woozy or nauseous.

Tomorrow I have the market. And I am hoping it's a good day. I hope you all have a good day. I love you all very much. Sleep well my friends. Goodnight!

[squoxle]

mᥲkᥒᥲᥱ sᥙmmᥱr mᥲᥡһᥱm

𝓐 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓹 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝔀𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰.

✩✩𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘴✩✩

<<𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲>>

✩𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨：𝖬𝖺𝗄𝗇𝖺𝖾 𝖫𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 （𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾）

✩𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦：𝖳𝗁𝗋𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗋

✩𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵：1,405

✩ 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺： 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐢, 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

“Y/N!! Hurry up! We’re gonna get stuck in traffic if we don’t head out now!” Jungwon yelled from the living room. “Tsk. Don’t rush her.” Sunoo said, giving Jungwon a soft push. “Even if we get stuck in traffic, it won’t last forever.” He continued. “Yea, I know but — “ "But nothing.” Niki exclaimed, cutting Jungwon off mid-sentence. “Everything is gonna be fine. Chill dude.”

You were doing a mental checklist of everything that you needed. “Toothbrush, swimsuit, sandals…oh, and pajamas.” You mumbled as you triple checked your suitcase. You could hear the three of them going back and forth in the living. You quickly zipped up your suitcase before rolling it out of the room. Jay was going to drive you guys to the resort, but Jungwon insisted on getting there himself. The only problem is that Jungwon just got his license a week ago and had never driven this far.

“Are you sure you got this?” Niki asked Jungwon as they packed the trunk. “Of course! Don’t you trust me?” “I do. It’s just…Jay has taken us on so many trips before. And you just got your driver’s license. Maybe you can drive next time?” “Niki…relax. I got this okay. No worries. Everything is gonna be just fine.” Jungwon reassured him before slamming the trunk shut. “Alright everyone! Let’s gooo!” Jungwon exclaimed as you all climbed into the truck. The truck was an 8-eight seater, but Niki folded the back row of seats down for more luggage space.

You sat in the front seat next to Jungwon, and Niki sat in the back with Sunoo. It was about 10 o’clock in the morning when you finally pulled off. You had a 6 hour drive ahead of you, and leaving this late could cost you a whole day. This was going to be a long ride, but hopefully everything goes well.

Niki had taken full control of the radio and was choosing all the music. Sunoo was busy either gazing out of the window, snapping scenic shots or taking an unhealthy amount of selfies. And Jungwon was sternly focused on the road, almost entirely zoned out. It had been about 45 minutes when Sunoo reached over to tap Jungwon on the shoulder. “Argh…What?” Jungwon snapped. “I need to use the bathroom…” Sunoo replied. “Seriously? Right now? I’m trying to get to the resort today. Can you hold it?” Jungwon pleaded. “I already did~” Sunoo whined. “Ugh. Fine.” Jungwon sighed. “But no more stops after this.”

Minutes later Jungwon pulled up to a run down looking gas station. It honestly looked completely abandoned. Some windows had wooden boards covering them. The sign was barely hanging above to the front of the building. Dust and cobwebs covered the gas pumps. Similar to something you would see in an apocalyptic world in a zombie movie. It looked like the slightest wind could blow the whole place down. “Oh, no way. No way am I using a bathroom here!” Sunoo complained. “This is the closest place, and you’re the one who said you couldn’t hold it any longer.” Jungwon replied. “But…it looks super creepy~” Sunoo whined as he threw his head back. “Well, I’m not stopping anywhere else. So either go or don’t. Your choice.” Jungwon was obviously fed up with Sunoo’s constant whining. So, Sunoo got out of the truck and walked towards the entrance.

30 minutes had passed and Sunoo still wasn’t back yet. Jungwon was pissed and you could tell. “He still hasn’t answered?” Jungwon said, deeply exhaling. “I’ve already tried 5 times.” Niki replied. “Ugh…let me try,” Jungwon said, pulling his phone out. “Huh?…there’s no signal out here…Niki can you go in and find him?” “Yea sure.” Niki said, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Y/N, can you just stay right here? I need to walk for a minute.” Jungwon asked, ruffling his hair. “Of course.” You replied. He then walked away from the vehicle.

Niki walked into the creepy gas station. There was nobody there aside from an old man tucked in a corner. He was frail and possessed a soulless stare. His eyes followed Niki’s every move. “Excuse me, sir. Have you seen my friend? He has red hair, and he’s wearing a light blue shirt.” The man continued to stare at Niki. Not even saying a single word. A loud scream came from the direction of the bathrooms, which made Niki’s head turn. “Sunoo?!” Niki shouted. The screaming persisted, and Niki ran to find the source of the scream. He quickly made his way down a dimly lit hall before reaching the stall. “Sunoo?!” He shouted again. “NIKI HELP!” The stall was locked. Niki pushed and pulled on the door, but had no luck getting it open. “Sunoo! Open the door!” “I can’t. It’s locked! I tried calling, but my phone doesn’t work!” “Niki looked around for something to help him break the door down. However, he was unsuccessful in finding a suitable weapon. “AHHH! Niki, snakes just dropped from the ceiling!” “What?!! DAMMIT!” Niki kicked his the door with all of his force.

Jungwon was obviously unaware of all the chaos happening in the bathrooms. But he just needed a moment to clear his mind. He really wanted everything to go well. This was just very stressful for him. The need for perfection, but also pride. Jungwon wanted to prove that he could do it himself. Jungwon was deep in his thoughts and had once again completely zoned out. As he was walking through the tall grass, a putrid scent caught his attention. He was then aware of his surroundings and the sound of flies buzzing was too loud to ignore. He walked closer to the strong scent, covering his mouth with his sleeve. He peered through the grass and saw a person, dead and covered in snake bites. Parts of his flesh had been torn off and his eyes were poked out.

Jungwon didn’t know there were snakes out here. Remembering that he left you in the truck alone, he turned around and ran back to check on you.

As he was nearing the vehicle, he spotted Niki and Sunoo running out of the gas station. “Get in the truck!” Jungwon shouted. Luckily, Jungwon left the truck running, and you all sped off, leaving that nightmare behind.

The ride was uncomfortably quiet after that. “Is everyone okay?” Jungwon asked, breaking the silence. “Yea, we’re good.” Niki replied. Sunoo still was looking a bit shaken up, and you were just confused. The fear you felt was because you did not know what had happened back there. “What exactly happened?” You asked the group of boys. “Sunoo got locked in a bathroom. Then snakes fell from the holes in the ceiling and I had to break the door down...” Niki said. “I found a dead body covered in snake bites…” Jungwon added. The truck fell silent again. “This is not what I planned to do.” Jungwon continued. “How much longer to the resort?” Sunoo asked. “Umm…about an hour.” Jungwon replied. “Well then, let’s just forget about what happened at that gas station and try to enjoy the rest of our trip.” Sunoo said. His voice was much lighter than before. “You’re right, Sunoo. Let’s go out there and do what we came out here to do.” Niki chimed in.

The boys were either putting on a good front or they had really gotten over it quickly because the rest of the ride was filled with laughter and music. Even Jungwon had loosened up.

It wasn’t long before you all arrived at the resort. After unpacking the trunk, you all changed into your swimsuits and headed to the pool. “Hey guys! Glad you finally made it!” a voice shouted from behind. You all turned your heads to see Jay accompanied by Jake and Sunghoon. You were so glad to see them. “What are you guys doing here?” Niki asked. “We’ll we knew you guys were coming, and we wanted to surprise you.” Jake replied. “Are you surprised?” Sunghoon giggled, looking at Sunoo’s expression. You all hung out for the rest of the week before heading back home. Fortunately, the boys had found a way to laugh about the gas station incident, which helped them not to be so afraid of the memory.

This definitely was not what you had planned, but you enjoyed your time with them. A break was just what you needed.

[iprobablyshipit91]

Words Unsaid

Part 2

Genre: romance / mutual pining / fluff / angst / royal au

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Again, a few swears in this one and some making out. However there will be some major triggers in later chapters. These will be tagged appropriately on the relevant chapters, but please only read if you’re of age and comfortable.

Dividers by @talesmaniac89

Series Masterlist || SPN Masterlist

Previous || Next

Thank you for everyone who read part 1! Hopefully you enjoy this next instalment, it’s a bit of a long one. Also I’ve managed to end up adding more chapters to this than I expected so it’s probably closer to 10 chapters now.

Trudging down the cobbled path that leads to the castle gates, you wrap your cloak around you a little tighter. There is a light breeze in the air that gently ruffles your skirts and signals that autumn is just around the corner. You smile ruefully as you take a deep breath of the fresh air, enjoying your walk as the evening sky shines a multitude of pinks and purples while the sun slowly starts to dip below the horizon.

You see the castle guards that are stationed at the gate glance at each other nervously as you approach and a smirk tugs at your lips. "You can relax, my parents know where I'm headed this time."

You see them visibly sigh with relief and you chuckle lightly. Your destination is your Godmothers tavern in the middle of the village, and while not somewhere a princess would traditionally frequent, Ellen is like a second mother to you, her daughter Jo similar in age. You’d spent many afternoons playing here as a child and it had always felt homely somehow. Your father hadn’t always particularly liked you coming here alone, but your mother always argued that you were as safe in the tavern with Ellen as within the walls of the castle. And besides, it was better for them to allow you to go and know where you were than to have you sneak off anyway.

Pulling up your hood against the chill as you walk the familiar path, you find your mind drifting to dark blonde hair and green eyes without even really thinking about it. You stop dead in the street, mentally berating yourself and shaking your head hard.

You will not think of him.

The last three days have been spent avoiding him successfully. You’ve not bothered going anywhere near your usual meeting places and have timed your kitchen visits to perfection, knowing exactly when he wouldn’t be there. The tavern is the biggest risk you’ve taken but you need a drink and you know in your heart you can’t avoid him forever.

You heave a sigh and quickly duck into the warm, welcoming light of the tavern, a smile tugging at your lips instantly as the rowdy atmosphere washes over you. Ellen is in her usual spot behind the bar and you decide to slide onto an empty barstool instead of going over to your usual booth. You determinedly keep your eyes straight forward, not even chancing a glance over that way. Your traitorous heart still jumps up to your throat though at the idea that he could very well be sitting there.

You don’t care if he is.

You’re also a damned liar.

"What'll it be, Princess? Last time I gave you some whiskey, the King practically beheaded me in the town square." Ellen is smirking at you, eyes dancing with mischief so you give her a wide grin.

"What Dad doesn't know, won't hurt him." You whisper conspiratorially, waggling your eyebrows as you lean forward, elbows resting on the bar. Ellen throws her head back and laughs.

"You remind me so much of your mother when she was a teenager." She says fondly, caressing your cheek softly before grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the shelf behind her and pouring you a glass. You smile at her warmly, the glass cradled between your hands. She pours herself a glass and knocks it against your own.

"To family."

"To family." You respond softly and take a small sip of your whiskey, feeling the burn as it slides down your throat. Ellen’s eyes slide over your shoulder to another patron and she gives them a nod before tapping the bar in front of you twice, winking and then swiftly disappearing to the other side of the bar.

"You're avoiding me, Sweetheart." You inhale sharply at the deep rumbling voice that’s suddenly in your ear, your fingers tightening on the glass in your hand. You turn your head reluctantly, finding Dean leaning casually against the worn wood of the bar. The first thing you can’t help but notice is the sickly purple colour the skin around his eye now is. Somehow he manages to even make that look annoyingly good. The colour of his eyes brighter somehow. You snort into into your glass because of course that’s where your mind goes.

He raises his eyebrows with an unamused expression. "Something funny?"

You sigh heavily and finally meet his gaze but don’t answer. He mirrors your sigh then turns and slides into the stool next to you.

You both sit in silence, comfortable in each other’s presence despite the events of the last few days. You see in the corner of your eye as he turns his attention to you, practically feeling the burn from his gaze on the side of your face. You do your very best to remain passive despite the thumping of your heart and focus on gently sipping at your whiskey.

"You're avoiding me." He repeats, gentler this time. He always could read you like an open book, even when the two of you were small. Not that you’ve been particularly hiding your avoidance of him, but still. You fight the urge to knock back the rest of your drink.

"I didn't know she was assigned to your quarters." His voice is so earnest, so unsure, so unlike Dean Winchester, that you freeze. But then his words register and you realise he’s admitting that he did indeed sleep with one of your maids. You feel sick as your stomach drops to somewhere in your toes and the walls around your heart build so high you fear it will never see the light of day again.

Ellen chooses that moment to return to your side of the bar her eyes darting back and forth between you and Dean with a knowing look in her eye. You quickly down the rest of your drink to avoid her gaze and slide your glass back to her.

"I'll have another, please. And get him one too." You glance at Dean and he relaxes fractionally, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he can see he’s at least a little bit forgiven. Ellen fills up your drinks and moves down the line, glancing at you both one more time with raised eyebrows over her shoulder.

You sigh again. "Listen, Dean. I meant it, when I said I don't care who you choose to spend your time with." Or what you do with them you think mentally, not managing to quite get those words past your lips, swallowing hard instead. You force yourself to continue, ignoring his gaze that once again feels like it’s burning through you. "Just… just give me a heads up next time, yeah? So I don't wait around?"

Alone.

In the rain.

Your mind really isn’t helping with its little additions right now. You see him visibly wince at the reminder that he forgot about you while he was engaging in his other activities.

"Yeah." He rubs a hand down his face then twists his glass in his hands. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart, that was, uh-" His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he stumbles over what to say. You turn back to face him and find he is frowning deeply, his eyes shifting back and forth. He sighs and looks at you. "That was really crappy of me. I'm honestly really sorry, Princess."

You knows he means it. Firstly because he used your title rather than Sweetheart but also because you know him, and you know he would never intentionally leave you alone. He knows all to well what that feels like.

But at the end if the day he still did it. And it still hurts more than you want to admit. You reinforce your walls as he looks at you and the frown grows deeper if possible, green eyes searching. He opens his mouth and his hand reaches forward, eyebrows pinching together.

"Y/n!"

Your head snaps around at your best friends voice cutting through the loud chatter of the tavern. You see her grinning widely at you, beckoning you to your usual booth where she’s sat huddled together with Sam, Eileen, Jo and Benny. You force a smile back at her.

Grabbing your glass, you loop your arm through Dean’s, pulling him off his stool. Your determined to get things back to normal between you both and hanging out with your friends is the best way to make a start. You give him a small smile and he gives one back, although you could also describe it as a grimace. It was a start, you remind yourself.

"Come on, you know as well as I do that Charlie doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Your hand lands on Benny’s shoulder as you laugh loudly at the unbelievable story he just finished telling you.

"You did not say that!"

He simply grins widely at you, his eyes not quite focused as he shrugs and takes another swig of his drink. You laugh again, finding the story hilarious in your slightly inebriated state. Benny slides down in his seat, his weight resting comfortably against your side as your laughter slowly fades with a hiccup and an easy smile takes its place. While you are feeling a pleasant buzz from the whiskey you’ve consumed, Benny quite obviously passed drunk a while ago.

Somehow you still find it kind of cute.

"I think you’ve had enough, Benny. You should be heading home don’t you think?" Your eyes snap quickly to Dean across the table where he is sat with his arms folded looking sullen. You arch an eyebrow at him in question but he determinedly avoids your gaze, opting to glare daggers at Benny instead. From the corner of your eye you can see Sam smirking at his brother.

Benny manages to pull himself up from your shoulder and straighten himself out while nodding slowly, seemingly finally realising just how drunk he is. "Yeah, I think you're probably right, brother." He agrees easily with Dean, completely missing the misplaced anger being sent his way. With a lazy grin in your direction he makes a poor attempt to stand, swaying precariously before falling back down on his seat and into you.

“Well, hello again, Beautiful,” he says, looking up at you with big blue eyes.

Oh, he is definitely drunk.

Rolling your eyes to cover the fact your cheeks are heating up from the complement, drunk or not. You grab his arm and pull him up with you.

He sighs heavily, like getting up is the hardest things he has ever had to do. You start to shuffle him gently out of the booth, ignoring the odd noise Dean makes.

"Come on, Drunky. I need to get back to the castle now anyway, I can drop you off."

You start to put on your cloak as Charlie tosses Benny his jacket. He doesn't seem to notice though, not even attempting to catch it as he stares at you instead with wonder. "You're going to walk me home?"

You laugh again at how adorable he is. "Yes, so let’s get going before you pass out, okay?" You hand him his jacket, and he finally slips it on, inside out you notice but you’ll take what you can get.

Dean stands abruptly. "I'll walk with you." He shoots Sam a glare when he and Eileen start snickering at him. You notice Charlie and Jo also have big grins on their faces as they exchange a look. How strange.

Your eyes flick back and you give him a reassuring look. "Don’t worry, I can take him by myself, you can stay." Find someone to go home with. Again, your can’t quite find the strength to add the rest of the sentence your brain unhelpfully provides.

Benny suddenly sways again, leaning heavily against you and you stumble. Dean gives you a pointed look.

"And how exactly are you going to drag him home when he inevitably passes out on you?" His face softens as he shrugs on his own jacket, still ignoring the rest of your friends who are stifling laughs. "Plus, he lives on the other side of the river. I don’t want to find out the Kings reaction if I let you walk all that way alone at night."

He manoeuvres himself out the booth and then pulls one of Bennys arms over his shoulder. You have to admit that Benny does really look like he’s about to pass out any second, and there is no way you can get him home by yourself if he does. Dean smirks at the acceptance written all over your face. You roll your eyes again and start to make your way to the exit, waving bye to Ellen as you go.

The walk through town is slow and it doesn’t take Benny long to pass out completely, meaning you have to slip under his other arm and help Dean to drag him back to his house. You can hear Dean constantly grumbling, his favourite curse words meeting your ears as you finally make your way up to the quaint little house.

You both end up dropping him quite unceremoniously on the doorstep and you feel guilty until you see Dean give you a wicked smirk. You start to question what he finds so funny when he knocks loudly and grabs your arm, sprinting back down the path and into the cover of some trees.

You can’t help but laugh loudly as he pulls you further away and back up towards the castle gates. Weaving through the trees until he suddenly turns, putting his hand over your mouth with a boyish grin.

"Hush now Princess, we wouldn't want you getting caught now, would we?" He smirks and you lick his hand in retaliation. He yelps and pulls it away, giving you a disgusted look.

"Some Princess you are."

You give him a mock glare. "And don't you forget it." Poking him hard in the chest to punctuate your words.

Swatting your hand away, he gives you another wide grin and you sigh happily. This is what you wanted. You and him, back to normal. Laughing, joking. No awkwardness.

So of course you decide you want to do something that will ruin it all over again.

He is looking at you thoughtfully, the playful mirth quickly fading from his eyes and turning into something more serious. You have noticed this look on his face a lot lately. Mostly when he thinks you aren’t paying attention, but you’ve still manage to catch him anyway. You’re not sure what it means, but it makes your heart beat faster in your chest, and suddenly, all you can think about is kissing him.

But you can't. He is your friend. Your best friend. That’s all you can be.

Screw it.

You grab the lapels of his jacket roughly and pull him to you, your mouth landing on his rather clumsily. He suddenly feels like a statue beneath your lips, not reacting at all and for a horrible moment, you wonder if he's going to push you away. You continue to kiss him, his lips feel so soft against yours and you take his bottom lip between your own, tilting your head and practically begging him to respond.

This is stupid, this is stupid, you are so stupid.

Your mind is whirling on repeat as you slowly slide your shaking hands to rest on the bare skin of his neck, playing with some of hair there. He shudders beneath you and his lips move fractionally against your own. Your heart pounds in your chest loudly and it is all you can hear.

Your mouth slips open and you run your tongue along the seam of his lips, desperate to get more from him. You want to taste him, to be consumed by him. The faint taste of whiskey hits you and you smile, humming with pleasure. Somehow you knew he would taste like that. What you didn’t count on though, was just how intoxicating it would be.

He finally opens his mouth fully against yours and your feel a thrill as his tongue tentatively meets your own.

Then, without warning a strangled moan leaves his throat and he is moving.

His big hands find purchase on your waist and he gently spins you around until you’ve changed places and your back is pushed up hard against one of the trees. You let out a gasp of surprise but he quickly swallows it, his tongue sweeping forward to slide against yours and his hand moving up to your face, fingers lightly angling your head to the side to plunge deeper.

You feel heat coiling in your stomach and you suddenly feel desperate. You want, no you need more. But of what, you are not entirely sure. You just know you crave it with every fibre of your being. Your hand slides up into his hair, grabbing at the strands, and pulling him even closer to you if that’s even possible. Your heart feels like it’s thumping out of its chest when his other hand starts to slowly slide down your thigh to the back of your knee. The feel of his fingers leaving a burning trail behind them.

He pulls your knee up to his waist and you instinctively wrap your leg around him. Your hips now perfectly in line with his, he pushes forwards with a growl as you nip at his lips.

Your mouth drops open when he shifts his hips again and God, this is what you needed.

You can feel him. All of him. And it feels so damn good.

You tentatively circle your hips, searching for more of that feeling as he moves down your neck and scrapes his teeth against your pulse point. You moan, sounding breathy, wanton and loud in the dark night.

He suddenly stills against you.

You can feel the hammering in his chest against yours, his labored breathing tickling your neck. Your eyes blink open and you realise after a moment your gazing up at stars, twinkling bright in the dark sky. Your mind is numb as your breathing gradually slows. He slowly pulls back, resting his forehead against yours for a moment and nudging your nose playfully with his own. Your eyes drift shut again as you feel the most content you’ve been in a long time.

His lips are soft on yours as he ducks down to kiss you again. More chaste this time, leaving a warm glow spreading throughout your body.

As he releases your leg, you find yourself tilting over, still shaky from the mind blowing kiss you just experienced. He chuckles against your lips, his strong hands finding your hips and righting you before you can fall.

You blink up at him still feeling a bit dazed and he smiles down at you, his finger slowly grazing your cheek affectionately. "I should get you home."

He gazes at you for a moment more, his green eyes flickering all over her face, the same serious look he was giving you before the kiss more intense somehow. But then he shakes his head slightly, smiles softly and its gone. He nods towards the castle. You unconsciously follow the warmth of his body as he takes a step back, and you easily fall in step with each other.

You walk in comfortable silence, his hand catching against your own as you walk. You’re not sure who takes whose hand, but suddenly his fingers are warm against your own and the elation in your chest rises somehow.

Maybe you didn't mess anything up. Maybe you made everything better. You fight against the smile threatening to split your face in two, and all to soon you’re at the castle gates. He brings your knuckles to his lips and gives them a chaste kiss, before giving you a wink, turning, and disappearing down the road.

You laugh breathlessly and run quickly across the courtyard and up to your quarters.

You fall asleep with a smile on your face.

Next