#Hope you're tasty
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I ordered Korean mu and received a monster instead.
Normally, mu is the length of a banana and the thickness of an orange. Grapefruit if it's a large one.
Weeeee! groceries sent me a BABY SIZED MU.
Oh you think I'm exaggerating? Good thing I took pics for evidence, with references.
Monster Mu is bigger than my face.
Monster Mu is thicker than my thighs (laughcry let's not comment on that)
Monster Mu is bigger than Mignon (a friend told me it looks photoshopped but I promise you, my poor hand and arm was trembling as I had to support the Mu Child with only one hand whilst I took the picture)
Although Moko looks bigger, it's his poofy fur and I'm pretty sure Monster Mu is bigger than Moko
There was some mild panic as I didn't even know if my knives could cut through this thing but the Legend of ShenLi OST provided sufficient badassery in the background.
Additional credit to my handy dandy cleaver but there was definitely a bit of swearing as well as a renewed sense of needing to work out my biceps.
A third of it is now simmering in kkongchi jorim (꽁치 조림) and I suppose the rest will be made into kkagdoogi (깍두기).
#phoenix personal post#korean food#Monster vegetables#Wtf is this#Is this a vegetable or a cryptid#Who knows but I'm gonna eat it#It's thicker than my thighs why#It's a bird#It's a baby#No it's Monster Mu#RIP Monster Mu#Hope you're tasty#냠냠
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Okay so we are playing what fucked up thing might Dominox show to our faves untill the liveshow yeah?
I want to see the most twisted evil things people come up with
For example I'm imagining Imogen gets hit with a Relvin, telling her something like "What are you even struggling for? Your mother left, your girlfriend is committed to sacrificing herself for you.
No-one loves you enough to stay.
You might as well give in to Predathos, keep Laudna company untill you both go up in flames."
#cr3#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#i think relvin being the one to twll her all this crap would just add another layer of pain you know? you're turning into ur dad but worse#imogen temult#them tasty insecurities baybee. im so jealous of the people going to the liveshow!! hope they have a real good time!#crit role
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me watching the numbers come in for the "what makes you read a webcomic" poll
#webcomics#webcomic#the validation is tasty#and I hope the data helps you too#you can shitpost or you can be cool#but if you're too dry no one will come to drink#also the comic on the other side of the shitposts still has to be good#there are a lot of good takeaways tbh and I am thinking a lot
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shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals <3
💛🥰
Ohhh!! Thank you lovely lovely Tonee ;v; These days I only ever make playlists whenever I'm doing my longer drives so I'll pick the most recent one of those and use that as my base!
Plini - 11 Nights
2PM - A.D.T.O.Y
FERN - Hyperreal
Leprous - Have You Ever?
Periphery - The Parade of Ashes
#fun fact that's the first periphery song i ever heard! an incredibly vivid memory actually#that leprous song is absurdly underrated from their latest album btw#the last chorus and the closer? hello??? throw that on blast and wail. unbelievably cathartic. also the bass is really tasty#ty again tonee!! i hope you're having a great day ^_^
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happy timezones lovely!!! 1, 10, 20 for the music ask game 💛
happy timezones my beloved!!! thank you for these 🫶🏼
1 a song that makes me happy
physically incapable of being sad listening to this song. never once has it ever happened.
10. a song i just found and that i love
this came on my spotify dj on out road trip last week and rachel zegler's voice gives me LITERAL goosebumps. i love this song
20. a song i've recommended to someone
this was the first one to come to mind and aksjfskja i showed this to a friend because i thought it was funny two years ago. to this day he still sends me snapchats of him listening to it. he'll randomly text me the lyrics. he's shown it to everyone he knows.
#on the songs that make me happy one i need to give an honorable mention to what's the move by watsky feat. t-pain#but i already have a watsky song on here and i'm trying to spread the love#but i do love him. adore him even. he's forever one of my favs#thank you sm for these tonee i love you i hope you're well🖤#ask games!#em's tasty tunes#em answers!#lifemod17
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i was going to say i hate when i'm right but actually i enjoy the sensation of being correct even if i don't like the thing i was right about. So I'm very happy to be right so often, actually (especially now that no one in my life is actively trying to gaslight me)
#this post brought to you by:#the fact that my favorite monster flavor has ONCE AGAIN gone missing from shelves entirely and i'm having to figure out a replacement flavo#AGAIN and I was like ''huh well their new seasonal is out. if they're not making any more of my favorite flavor that means they've probably#got plans to change the name AGAIN or it's going to be reformulated and sold as something else''#so i picked up some alternative flavors to find a solid backup flavor for myself because Original is not tasty long-term#it's fine for a one off but if you're gonna have it lots i would like more fruit in my beverage flavor please#for anyone curious my favorite flavor in this instance is Khaotic - which was in fact previously Khaos#and those were i'm fairly certain the same they just renamed it for some reason#the flavor i think they're replacing it with (i'm purely speculating of course) is the Rio Punch which i think is pretty new#which means it'll be a seasonal flavor and it won't stay around forever so i'm still in the market for a New Favorite but in the meantime#i don't mind what they've done to make it more Tropical and the color is ''Brazilian Flag'' so it's easily spotted#and will make asking for it in specific a lot easier if it sticks around for a bit#my medically necessary monsters i s2g#college me would be so fucking tickled about having accidentally gotten the components to my actual mental health correct#just maybe not the ratios yet lol#it's fine we were 19-22 years old and a business major who'd avoided chemistry after failing out of the homeschool version somehow#so like it's allowed to take 10 years to get the ratios of what makes my brain work good correct#fuck okay speaking of which i do in fact have Tasks to complete before i go about the rest of my day. hope everyone has a great day
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hello!! i am choosing not to be centred around the minute details!!
#will fail due to autism but it is my GOAL. in order to have a GOOD DAY#okay so. welcome to this beautiful chilly Sunday edition of#partridge family breakfast!!#remember a few days ago i posted ricotta toast ‼️‼️‼️#well that was when i discovered the recipe#now....i have ingredients#crispy sourdough toast done a little more than i usually like (i like my toast so anemic) in order to withstand the ricotta#mixed the cheese with salt and black pepper and spread it generously across the toast#wHILST this is happening my grapes are roasting in the oven. stay with me here#id never done this before#and i had low expectations#but they go SWEET and they BURST and contrast the tartness of the cheese BEAUTIFULLY#you only need a couple....#god it's so tasty the ricotta is like..smooth and peppery and salty and fresh#if you're not into the grape idea this would work BEAUTIFULLY with honey!! or goats cheese omg that would be amazing#i.hope you enjoyed this new and experimental episode#i will be eating ricotta forever <3#i love you!! i hope you eat well today
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"Lee Know is harsh, cold and mean"
Then explain why my man asks us what we're proud of or achieved and sends us personal encouragements and celebrates with us....
#you received the first salary today from the part-time job!!!!!!this this is to be very pleased and proud of!!!!#it's sth you earned by doing it yourself#i hope you work hard in the future too and save up one by one andbuy n eat sth tasty!!!!!#and also#you're from countryside but started living alone in seoul because of university!!!!!!????nice#life is how you make it yourself!!!!!!!#applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!check to make sure the gas stove is turned on or off~#i love him....#lee know#lee minho#he wrote others too#but those 🥹#the one with the advice on getting a cat too >>>>#yeah. i love him a lot.
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It was one of my nights to make dinner - and I hadn't done a good job planning ahead. Whipped out a jar of arrabiata sauce I had and i knew i had some leftover hamburger from earlier in the week.... Then looked around for pasta and did not find good pasta candidates for the most part... Gnocchi and Tortellini - that I knew other people might want to tap on their dinner nights... And then I remember boxes of lasagna noodles that had been sitting there for months - and they weren't no boil noodles. (lets be real - the person who bought those hates cooking and there's no way on god's green earth do i see her making any kind of lasagna from scratch - let alone boiling the noodles first ok? ) So I was like - YEP , you're mine, you orphan lasagna noodles!
Broke the noodles ehhhh into relatively similar size pieces and then for good measure tossed cream cheese into the sauce - do not come for me. authentic? hell no. creamy and a nice balance to the extra red pepper i added to make the sauce spicier? yes. Also since I had sauteed onions and a whole buncha minced garlic before cooking the meat and sauce - it was niiiice. at least niiiiice for very little forethought.
(and i had made paul's pumpkin bars - like pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting for dessert - that cake is life ok. and i hadn't had it since my mom passed. that one was for you out there mom- and whoever the heck paul was - mom got the recipe from someone at work or the newspaper back in the day)
ANYWAY - when we sat down to dinner, someone looked at the bowl of pasta and sauce and asked, " So.... What is this exactly?
My response to this semi-saltily delivered query was," FOOD."
After letting the resulting silence sit for a nice little moment or three I then added, "But if you feel you need a fancy name, consider it as 'Deconstructed Lasagna served in a Creamy Tomato and Beef Ragout to be followed by Pumpkin Bars ala Paul."
The peanut gallery let me have this one.
#megan cooks#or more like megan approximates cooking#this was not about me actually cooking much of anythng - more than me managing to scrounge up a dinner#dinner that i thought was very tasty and made my tummy happy even if it was cobbled together haphazardly#the paul's pumpkin bars tho - those suckers are as good as i remember them being#those were a good decision - especially because there are too many damn cans of pumpkin in this house - and someone should use them#and at least i attempt making things from scratch#and as a side note may it please god and the court and anyne else out there but really mainly me ...#please this week let betsy not make the SAME damn variation on a theme of chicken soup.#we've had chicken tortellini soup and chicken gnocchi soup and then also just chicken soup (for when she couldn't find her pastas)#so here is hoping monday does NOT mean yet another fucking chicken soup. it's not good for my soul ok or my tastebuds rn-i'm over it#if we do - i might need to find a recipe to use up all the chicken broth - to try and head off the soup at the pass#adventures in dinnertime#wow - adventure... that's a big stretch but it sounds nice so i'll keep it#if anyone has read this far- are you ok? i hope you're ok- you are so sweet and kind and you deserve a paul's pumpkin bar and some tea
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i just have to say it. i love your icon. nonbinary sugimoto.
☺️ nonbinary sugimoto 💛🤍💜🖤
#mail#i don't remember why he is making that face there i think he must have eaten something tasty#i was deciding between using nonbinary sugimoto or someone else and the bi flag. but last year i used bi koito so well#nonbinary sugimoto won 😋#thanks!!! i hope you're well 😊
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wife me up please
#purrs intensely#river song#mommy#eat me river#im serious#put me in your mouth#take a little nibble#i dare you#take a little chunk out of me#am i tasty river?#i hope i am#wow you're really sinking your teeth in#ok maybe a little bit softer please#river#RIVER#OW#STOP IT HURTS NOW#OMG NOW YOU HAVE TO PUT A PLASTER ON ME#its ok i forgive you
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Life is too short to be self-conscious.
Talk about the cartoon show. Talk about that book. Write about them.
sparkles have i ever mentioned how much of a delight you are because AAAUUUUUUAUAUUEGEGGH
#a-very-sparkly-nerd!!#it's always so AUSCHSUCG to see you on my dash like every time#I HOPE YOU ARE DOING SO SO WELL AND TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF#and thank you so much auegh#I LOVE ADVICE#LOWK I cannot find that post I made I have no clue where it went but AJAJAAJA#hope you're doing well!!! sending so many hugs your way and hopefully something tasty MWAHAHAHA
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i love reddit bc the aquarium communities are usually filled with knowledgeable and helpful people but someone posted asking what's going on with their tanks, and upon being told that having mulm, detritus worms, and springtails is perfectly healthy they keep saying NO IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT MULM. i love when people fight the answers they sought.
#they also called water cabbage duckweed so im thinking they just slap whatever in the water and hope it sticks#my tank gets mulm on the filter sometimes too and it's just tasty fish and shrimp food#it's just like. plant detritus.#in fact i think that scum shit that was in the floating log hole was mulm#like if you're only getting detritus buildup on thr filter outtake that means you have a good cleanup crew#count yourself fucking lucky lmao#hades.txt
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being dramatic over angst for a moment
i actually enjoy how everyone but me writes chuuya as this highly functional man. how he's managing it. pulling himself together. cool guy.
my tastes? destruction. i get my hands on you, you suffer greatly. i don't care what canon says. i make my niche in personal agony theater. i make "my little au 🌺" and i break you in every aspect of your story and personality.
the hunting dogs conflict may not exist for me. the book. all that jazz. i'm an everything after season 3 finale never happened person. but that's where i thrive. i don't need the outside world influence to let hell loose. at least for now.
talk to me when i'm on my new meds and i'll crush the world into dust
#bsd#bsd chuuya#nakahara chuuya#aaand honestly yeah#that's really all i wanted to say#for now#oh and i have the appointment tomorrow haha!#well actually already today#it's 2am and it's in 14 hours#good luck me#let's hope i'll get my diagnosis this time#my country is REALLY down for those tasty false schizophrenia and schyzotypcal diagnoses#so i got it instead of adhd last time cause i'm over 16 now#and you can only legally get adhd diagnosis here if you're 15 or younger#but that REALLY doesn't work. like. it's clearly adhd ma'am. we both know it. some “doodle for me pls” test won't do it for me.#i'm so done with this crap really#it's kinda sad
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summer's golden haze - chapter one
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: a small town somewhere in beautiful greece, early morning coffee runs, and the cute boy that you keep running into. (4.8k)
warnings: sort of shy!reader, a bit of swearing, lando being both smooth and a little awkward
a/n: series masterlist coming soon :)
“That guy is totally checking you out.”
You reluctantly drag your attention away from the truly addicting pasta you’d ordered to meet your friend’s gaze across the table, slightly suspicious, but also a little curious as to what she’s talking about.
Samira is grinning knowingly at you already, mischievously, like she’s got a tasty bit of information you don’t know about. Probably not tastier than the food in front of you, but your interest is piqued nonetheless.
“What guy?” You sigh, giving into your curiosity quite easily. She arches a perfectly sculpted brow at you, then tilts her head to the side discreetly, and you follow her gaze towards—
Oh. That guy.
You saw him on your way to your seat at first, a group of four guys sitting a few tables away in the same patio area of the restaurant, drawing your attention even before you’d sat down. Artfully messy brown curls swept up out of his face, thick dark brows framing bright eyes crinkled with laughter at something his friend had said, you’d felt yourself growing conscious of the man’s existence with just one glance.
And then his gaze had flicked to your friends passing his table, but more importantly, your own gaze, and you’d nearly stumbled on your own feet.
Your cheeks had grown hot at the intensity of his stare following your path to your seat, not to mention the embarrassment that had flooded your veins at the thought of nearly eating shit in front of this very attractive stranger.
Had you grown the nerve to look back at him at the time, you would’ve seen his lips quirk into a goofy grin, as well as all the shoving he’d gotten from his friends as they’d caught wind of his unabashed staring.
Now you’re almost done with your meal, and you could swear you’ve felt him looking at you plenty more times. Not that it mattered at all, because your eyes have been firmly glued to your food and your friends only.
Okay, so you might’ve hastened a few covert glances over in his direction too, but he’s been chatting away to his friends every time, so maybe you’re just making nothing into something.
“Don’t even try to hide it, you’ve been making eyes at him too, girl,” Your other friend, Maren, pipes up, elbowing you in the arm playfully. The last of your girls, Camille, nods her agreement, smiling gleefully. “He’s hot.”
Right, so perhaps not as covert as you’d thought.
“Dunno what you’re talking about,” You reply, spearing another piece of pasta through your fork. You’re kicked under the table at that moment, hard enough to warrant the whine that escapes your mouth. “What?” Now you're met with three pointed glares your way. “Okay, fine. Yeah, he’s cute.”
“Go talk to him!”
“Go flirt with him!”
“Absolutely not!” You exclaim. Your voice comes out louder than you intend and you duck your head quickly, worried you’d disturbed the peace of the quiet area. “He’s probably got a girlfriend already or something.”
“If he does, she better dump his ass because he's been giving you fuck me eyes all damn night.”
“No, he has not,” You hiss, which only gets you yet another look from them. You’re starting to get tired of all these looks, actually. “Has he? I mean—are they? Fuck me eyes?”
“Oh yeah, he—”
Camille clears her throat, cutting Samira off. “No, they’re not,” She assures you, placing a hand over yours. “He’s been smiling every time he looks over.”
“Maybe he’s looking at one of you guys?”
“He’s definitely been looking at you.”
You bite your lip, nose scrunching skeptically. You haven’t really been the subject of any guy’s attention before, let alone one as handsome as this one. You’ve learned it’s better not to get your hopes up when it comes to certain situations. This seems like one of them. “Are you sure?”
“If I’m wrong, I’ll give you back your share of the villa rental.”
“Can I get that in writing, or…?”
Before any of them can come up with a smart remark, a plate is placed into the center of the table, on which is a large square of baklava, light and flaky with that sweet, sugary filling spilling out the sides of the piece that almost makes your mouth water. You’d seen it in the dessert section of the menu earlier, but had decided against ordering it in favor of trying an appetizer instead.
“Oh, excuse me? We didn’t order this,” Maren speaks up, looking up at the waiter.
He does a half turn, sweeping an arm in a vague direction. “It is from the gentleman in the blue shirt.”
You follow his gaze, and fuck, your heart skips a beat in your chest, because it’s him. It’s the same guy you’ve been drawn to all night, and he’s actually looking right back at you this time. His hand comes up in a wave, then back down to his side almost immediately, like he’s worried about it seeming too eager, before settling with a reserved nod. All the while, he’s still got that smile gracing his face that makes your stomach flip flop.
“He sent over a dessert?!?! I am so keeping that money, girl,” Camille hums, picking up her fork to dig in while Samira and Maren voice their agreement.
You, on the other hand, well…you’re not sure what to think. You appreciate the gesture, but you're also confused. Why did he send something over? What did he want?
It doesn't occur to you that he’s truly taken an interest in you until you're huddled outside with your friends talking next steps of the night. Whether you want to keep exploring this new place, or call it a day and go home. You’re firmly on the latter’s side because you're tired. But you’ll go along with whatever is decided.
The guy and his friends have coincidentally left the restaurant at the same time as you did, judging by the sudden commotion that erupts behind you. Like a moth drawn to a flame, your gaze lands on him yet again, only this time, you actually lock eyes with him. Something jolts through you, something electric up your spine like a tiny shock. Something you’ve never felt before. You shove the foreign feeling deep down, no matter how much you’d like to explore it.
He looks away, teeth sunk into his bottom lip to quell the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, and you avert your wandering eyes too, before anyone else notices. Evidently you’re a little too slow, because all three of your friends catch on instantly.
“Go talk to him already.” Camille says matter-of-factly.
“No, I—what do I even say?”
“Maybe hello would be a good start?”
You press your lips together, unimpressed, and you get a snicker in return, something about how you're not asking for his hand in marriage, you’re just trying to make conversation. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, it’s that you’re not exactly sure how to approach it. You’ve already convinced yourself of the worst, but to possibly have it play out in real life is a tangible fear of yours, and always has been.
One of your girls (you’re willing to bet more money it’s Maren) gives you a not so gentle shove towards him, as does one of his friends over in his group. Now you’ve got no choice. You meet each other in the middle, just looking at each other for a few moments. It’s awkward and you have half a mind to turn and go, but then he speaks.
“Hey,” He says.
“Hi,” You reply shyly, shifting on your feet nervously. He shoves both hands into his pockets. He looks a bit nervous too, which does a significant wonder to calm you. “Thank you for the baklava. It was delicious.”
“Yeah, of course. Glad you guys liked it. Figured you can’t go wrong with a classic.” He bobs his head, shoulders creeping up towards his ears in a shrug before dropping back down. “I’m Lando, by the way.”
Lando. It’s not a name you’re expecting, but it suits him well.
He sticks his hand out almost instinctively, like he’s been conditioned to do so. Maybe he has, considering the aura of professionality it gives off when you do shake his hand.
His palm is smooth and warm against yours, long fingers curling around your hand like the sincere smile that curls his lips as you tell him your name in return. Dimples bracket his mouth on both sides.
The handshake almost lasts a little too long for two people who’ve just met literally a few moments ago, as does the way his eyes linger upon yours.
Even in the dark of the night, illuminated only by the warm glow of the lamps above you, you can see him much better up close. His sunkissed skin does little to hide the flushed pink on his cheeks that travels down to his chest, disappearing under the generously unbuttoned blue linen. You feel exposed under his intense gaze, looking back at those mesmerizing eyes. Blue, green, gray—maybe a mix of all three, you’re not sure, but you can’t help but want to figure it out.
Then you remember that you don’t know this guy at all, and it brings you back to reality.
“Lando, like…the guy from Star Wars?” You ask. It breaks the invisible tether between the two of you and he smiles, laughs a little bit too.
He shrugs casually. “Not according to my mum and dad, but I do get that a lot.”
“You must get tired of hearing it from people then.”
His head tilts to one side, smile going endearingly lopsided. “Depends on the person. Like, I didn’t mind when you said it just now.” You’re not sure how to respond to that, so you just smile, and he takes your reaction in stride, moving on. “Are you guys from around here, or…”
“No, actually, we’re—um, we’re just here on holiday.”
“Oh, same! Yeah, we’ve been here a few days now, it’s been great. Is this your first time in Greece?” He asks, smile turning warm. You nod. “Have you checked out the local market yet?”
“Can’t say we have yet, no. We just got in the day before last, so…still figuring out our footing first. But I’ll keep it in mind, thank you!”
Lando inhales sharply, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Hey, y’know, if you want, maybe we could—”
“Oi, Lando! Let’s go, mate!”
He glances back over at his friends, one of whom is waving for him to return to his group rather wildly, before turning back to you. Whatever he was about to say is lost now, because he shrugs loosely. “Guess that’s my cue,” He sighs. Then his gaze softens, smile turning a little hopeful. “Will I see you around again? Small town and all.”
“Uh…I dunno. Maybe, if it’s meant to be.” You have to try with all your might not to take the statement back, even though you really, really want to.
If it’s meant to be—who the fuck says that? Like fate has anything to do with this miraculous interest Lando seems to have taken in you. If you were him, you’d find your words quite off putting. Instead, he smirks, crooked and cute.
“Meant to be,” He repeats, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yeah alright, I’ll take my chances. Have a good night.”
You bid him a soft goodnight, barely able to stifle the giggle that spills from your mouth when he nearly trips over the cobblestones on his way back to his friends. He’s awkward, you think, but still confident. It’s cute.
Lando stays rooted in your mind the rest of the night, all the way up until you’re lying in bed, waiting for sleep to take hold of you. It’s weird to think this much about a guy you’ve just met, a guy who you’ve only had one conversation with and have left things up to chance in terms of seeing him again.
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You’re the first one awake this morning, roused from your sleep by bright sunlight pouring through the window, even through the curtains. Contemplation of going back to sleep crosses your mind, but it’s no use. You’re up now, so you might as well make the most of your early morning.
You love your friends dearly, but some alone time sounds like heaven right about now. There’s a coffee spot not far from where you’re staying that you remember seeing on your way in that seems like a perfect match to your solo walk, so you head there. You’ll be a nice friend and bring coffee home for when they eventually wake up too.
After dropping them a text letting them know you’ve gone out, you set off. The walk back into town is short but serene, a welcome change from the hustle and bustle of your daily lives, and a reminder of why you’d all decided to vacation in this particular region of Greece in the first place.
Someone calls out something that sounds like your name before you can step into the shop and you pause, casting a glance around to see if your ears might be playing tricks on you. You’ve only been here a few days, and the only other person who knows you other than your friends is…Lando.
You squint a little harder to see through the glare of the sun, and lo and behold, there he is, hands linked behind his head. The grin that lifts your face is almost embarrassing, or would’ve been had Lando not been so eager upon seeing you wave at him.
He’s clad in athletic shorts and a cutoff tee that shows off muscles you’re trying your very hardest not to stare at as he makes his way closer, curls tucked away in a baseball cap pulled low on his head. Headphones dangle from around his neck, and he’s panting, chest rising and falling heavily very clearly once he’s stopped in front of you.
“Hey, good morning! I thought that was you,” He breathes, attempting to catch his breath. “Early riser too, I take it?”
“Honestly, not usually! The sun decided I would be today, though, so…here I am.”
“Here you are. Guess it was meant to be then, huh?” He chuckles, reaching up to flip his cap backwards. If you thought he was tan the night you met, he’s even tanner in the sun, bronze skin stretching over sinewy muscle that flexes as he sweeps a hand through his hair before tugging it back down in one smooth motion. “Doing a coffee run?”
“Yeah, I’m the only one of us awake at this hour so I figured I’d bring them back a little something.”
“You’re a saint. I’d let my mates suffer if it were me,” Lando snorts.
You shrug. “Guess that’s the difference between the two of us.”
“Yeah?” He hums, looking amused. “What else is different between you and me?”
“Well, first of all, I would never be on a run at eight in the morning. Is someone punishing you, or is this a self-inflicted torture type thing?”
That gets another laugh out of him, shoulders shaking with mirth. “Gotta keep in shape or my trainer might try to kill me with workouts instead.”
“You’re an athlete?” You pry, intrigued. He looks the part, you think. Lean but not skinny, strong but not massively built. A runner, maybe?
Lando freezes a split second, rocks from foot to foot, scratching at his nose. “Kind of, yeah.”
“What’s your sport?”
“Uh…golf. It’s more like a hobby than anything else.”
“Golf,” You repeat, an amused smile poking at the edges of your mouth. “Can’t say I know a thing about it.”
“Oh, it’s definitely something else, for sure. Super intense stuff, really grueling.” His words say one thing, but he’s grinning like he’s pulling your leg, lip pulled between his teeth in that same way as last night, nose scrunching adorably as he bobs his head quickly to further sell it.
“Sure, if you say so. But d’you think your trainer would get mad if you cut your super intense training short to grab a cup of coffee with a friend?”
You’re almost expecting him to say no, but Lando perks up instead, eyes crinkling happily at the corners. “Not at all. Shall we?”
Over coffee, you find that Lando is an excellent conversationalist—funny and a good listener, an even better storyteller. He asks about you without seeming pushy or prying, and because of that you feel yourself relaxing a bit in his presence. Opening yourself up to the possibility of a good thing with him, no matter how short or fleeting it may be, whether it’s friendship or something more.
A few weeks of summer in a place you've never been with a boy you don’t know is the time to be a little bolder. Chances are you’ll never see Lando again after this trip, so why not loosen up just a little bit?
It’s only when more people start to trickle into the shop and you start to notice Lando’s eyes shifting over your shoulder more that you realize you’ve been here with him for a while now. And judging by the dozens of missed calls and texts from all three of your friends on your phone when you go to check it for the first time since you’d left, you’ve been gone a lot longer than you said you’d be.
You know them well enough to know that they’re not above calling the local police to send out a search party for you if you don’t find your way back soon.
“Friends wondering where you are?”
You nod, sending a quick message that you are indeed alive and not kidnapped like they feared, before tucking your phone away again. “Guess I better get them their coffees for sure now, or else they might not let me back in the house.”
“Lemme buy it for them,” He offers sincerely, offering you a lopsided grin. You shake your head rapidly at the suggestion, but he continues, “I’m the reason you’ve been gone so long, the least I can do is buy them drinks. Call it an apology for making them worry, yeah?”
“You really don’t have to, Lando.”
“I know. I want to,” He insists, looking truly genuine. First dessert last night, now coffee today. You have half a mind to push back a little more, but you get the feeling Lando is as persistent as he is handsome, so you taking a firm stance on something like this seems like a moot point. Giving in, you nod, and he mirrors it, looking proud.
He lets you take the lead in reciting your friends’ orders once you’ve made your way back over to the front counter, stepping forward with a hand to the small of your back to pay for the drinks before you have any bright ideas to pull one over on him and pay for them yourself.
The barista smiles politely, pen hovering above a cardboard cup. “And a name for that?”
Lando casts a furtive glance around the area before leaning in and saying his name quietly, as if he’s worried he’ll run into someone who he doesn’t want to see. You notice, but don’t really pay it any mind. You understand far too well not wanting to talk to someone you're unprepared for.
Soon enough Lando’s got the drinks in hand and you’re back outside, and he’s smiling again. You’ve noticed he does that a lot when he looks at you. You’re sure you’re the same way with him.
“My mates and I, we’re planning on having a little barbeque at our villa tomorrow night. You should come,” Lando says encouragingly, tilting his head to the side. When your brows raise in surprise, he hastily adds, “And your friends too, obviously. We’d love the company.”
“Ah! Um, I dunno. Wouldn’t wanna crash your thing.”
“You wouldn't be. Seriously, come hang out. We’re fun, I promise!”
“I just—I forget if we’ve got plans, that’s all.” You’re not lying when you say it, you truly forget if you’re free tomorrow night. Most of it stems from your awful memory, but a small part of it attributes to how your brain kind of stops working properly around Lando.
“Right, well, you figure that out, and if you find you’ve got a free evening,” He balances the drinks deftly in one hand, the other fishing his phone out of his shorts pocket and swiping at the screen briefly before holding it out to you, “text me, let me know.”
You’re not sure where you find the boldness to tap your phone number into his contacts, but you do it with confidence, saving it under your name and a smiley face.
“Cute.” Lando smirks, chuckling as he sends a simple hi so you've got his number too. “Now, I believe these are yours, and…maybe I’ll see you tomorrow? If it’s meant to be.”
You smile at the mirroring of last night’s words from him as you situate the cardboard tray in your own arms. “Maybe.”
The smile hasn’t left your face even by the time you arrive back home, because you’ve been thinking about Lando the whole way. For a stranger you’ve met only yesterday, he’s sure been occupying a lot of space in your mind. You aren’t entirely sure how to feel about it.
You’re already prepared for the berating you’re about to get as you close the front door behind you carefully, making your way to the kitchen.
“Where the hell have you been?”
You look up to see all three of your friends sitting around the kitchen table, and none of them look particularly happy. You smile innocently, holding up the cardboard tray of drinks up as a peace offering. “Coffee?”
“It better come with an explanation.”
Nodding vigorously, you dole out each drink to your friends. “It does, I swear. I didn’t just disappear, I ran into—”
“Hold the fuck on. Why does this say Lando? Why is that man’s name on my cup—”
“Oh my god, you did not get coffee with him without telling us!”
“You bitch!”
That’s how you end up telling them the whole story—running into him in town, talking for ages, and that brings you to your next point.
“We don’t have any plans for tomorrow night, do we?”
“There’s the vineyard tour in the afternoon, but that should end around five. Why?”
“Lando invited us to a barbecue at his villa,” You say quickly. That gets their attention immediately, all of their eyes widening in the same shocked looks. None of them answer your question though. “Is that…something we’d be interested in?”
Samira is the first to snap out of it, mouth curving into a playful smirk. “Invited us, or invited you?”
“Definitely just her.”
“Whatever! Do we wanna go or not?” You grumble, doing your best to fight the grin threatening to overtake your face. The thought of him wanting to spend time with you brings you a teensy bit of satisfaction.
“Of course we’re going!”
After they’re done poking fun at you, you’re able to take a moment to top out a quick message to Lando. That barbecue invite still up for grabs?
You're not expecting an immediate answer, but your phone dings with a text back before you even set it down.
Lando: Of course. Plans fell through?
You: seems like you’ve really made an impression on my friends
Lando: Not sure whether to be scared or flattered…
You: your guess is as good as mine! we’ll find out tomorrow :)
Lando: Brb gotta go call my lawyer and update my will
“You’re texting him right now, aren’t you?”
You look up from your phone to see Camille leaning in the doorway to your room, a soft, knowing smile on her face. “Yeah, he—uh, he says he’s looking forward to meeting you guys again.” She comes to sit beside you, looking like she wants to talk about something. You set it aside, head tilting in a silent question.
“Do you think you’ll stay in contact with Lando after we leave?”
“I’m not sure. Haven’t really thought about it all that much, to be honest.”
If you do think about it, you haven’t even known Lando for more than a day. You’ve only just met him yesterday, seen him twice, one of which was completely spur of the moment. So what if that spur of the moment encounter was the most connected you’ve felt to someone in a long time?
You don’t know him, and chances are, he’s not looking for anything serious. You don’t even know if you’re looking for anything serious.
“It’s okay if you want to.”
“I shouldn’t want to,” You say. It feels like you’re trying to convince yourself more than anything. You look to Camille for an answer, but she just pats your hand. “Right? I’m never gonna see him again, so I shouldn’t get attached.”
“You don’t know that for sure, do you?”
“I guess not. It feels scary, though. Opening yourself up to something when you don't know what’ll happen.”
Camille hums, a placating, even comforting sound to soothe your worries. She’s always been pretty good at getting you to see the brighter side in things. “There’s fun in that too. Being spontaneous, surprising yourself. You never know, Lando could be just the thing you need, the one you didn’t know you were looking for. And if not, you don’t have to see him again. A win-win, I’d say.”
She leaves you alone to your thoughts after that, left to ponder what exactly it is you want. It might be stupid and entirely over-optimistic of you, but Lando has already pulled you in. You’re not sure what it is about him. He makes you want more, want to know more.
Whatever happens will happen, and if things don’t work out…well, Camille is right. You never have to see Lando again.
His name flashes across your screen later in the night, right before you’re about to go to sleep. You’ve been texting back and forth all day, but this one is different. He’s video calling you right now.
You stare at his name for longer than you should, finger hovering over the answer button a few beats before pressing it. His face pops into view once the call connects. Like you, he’s sitting in bed, leaned up against the headboard, cozied up in a soft looking jumper. He looks like he’s moments away from drifting off, but he called you, so he must want to talk.
“Hi,” You say softly.
“Hey, you.” He smiles, warm and sleepy and all squinty in a way that makes you want to crawl through the screen and tuck him into bed with a kiss to his forehead. “You must be tired.”
“Eh, I’m alright. Why?”
“‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.”
You let out a wildly unappealing snort of laughter at his poor attempt at a pick up line. “That’s terrible! Oh my god, that was awful, Lando, seriously.”
“No?” His smile grows giddy, shoulders shaking with his chuckles. “Yeah, it was pretty bad, wasn’t it? Got you laughing though.”
Conversation falls into the same easy nature as this morning, like you’ve known him for ages. He makes you laugh until your ribs hurt, smile until your cheeks feel the same. It still amazes you just how comfortable you feel around him, as someone who usually takes a while to warm up to people.
Maybe you should take it as a sign.
A jumble of muffle voices offscreen some time later makes Lando squint. “Hang on, I’ll be right back. Don’t hang up. ” He lets the phone drop onto the bed, checking once to make sure you’re still there before disappearing from sight.
You hear his footsteps fade, then more voices you can’t quite make out. Someone laughs off in the distance, and then he’s back, resituating himself with the remnants of an amused grin on his lips.
“Everything okay?”
“My mates are yelling at me to turn off the light, so I’d better go,” He sighs goodnaturedly, lips turning down into a frown. Then he yawns widely, and you realize how late it’s gotten since you’ve picked up his call. Losing track of time when you’re talking to Lando seems to be a recurring theme. “I’m glad you’re coming tomorrow.”
Your breath catches a little in your chest, both at his words and the way he’s looking at you through the screen as he says it, nothing but genuine. “Me too.”
You’re starting to think this whole try not to get attached thing is going to be much harder than you thought.
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#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4 x reader#lando norris x fem!reader#ln4#ln4 x fem!reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fic#lando norris series#lando norris imagine
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imagine losing your virginity by helping catboy!kabukimono
smut. afab reader, lactation, fingering. grammar errors 🥲
the idea of him fucking you while you rub his ear, his tail swishing back and forth, and purring is so 😳😳
you rubbed your eyes, opening them sleepily and were surprised to see catboy!kabukimono on top of you, straddling you. "kabuki, wha- do you need anything?"
he could feel himself getting hard as he saw your nipples through your thin, white nightgown. oh, imagine how tasty your milk was. and you're so pretty, laying underneath him like that. he wanted– no, he needed to fuck you right now.
"i... umm... need your help." kabukimono replied, trying to sound as innocent as possible while maintaining eye contact with your breasts. his ears twitched, signalling his growing arousal. "you see... i'm experiencing some discomfort, and i was wondering if you could help me relieve it." he bit his lower lip nervously, hoping that you wouldn't notice the blatant desire in his eyes or the throbbing between his legs.
his tail swished back and forth behind him as if he was nervous and excited about all this. it took you a while, but eventually you got what he meant. "are you in heat..? how can i help you, then?" this was both you and his first time so it was a little nerve-wracking, at least to you.
kabukimono hesitated for a moment before nodding his head slowly. "y- yes... i am. and i was hoping that you could help me find relief from my symptoms." his voice was low and seductive, almost purring as he spoke. "you see, as a cat hybrid, it's natural for us to seek out mating during these times." he licked his lips, looking at you intently. "would you be willing to help me?"
as he spoke, he couldn't help but let his gaze drift downwards towards your exposed nipples. the sight of them made his mouth water, and he could feel himself becoming even more aroused than before.
noticing his gaze, you covered your nipples with your hands as you felt yourself heating up, your cheeks turning pink. but then again, he needed your body relief him from the symptoms. sighing, you lowered your hands to your side as you glanced away, "okay, fine. do what you need to do. just... try not to be so rough, okay?" you said shyly, your voice small.
kabukimono grinned, his eyes gleaming with excitement as he heard your agreement. "i promise to be gentle with you." he then leaned down and gently nuzzled into your neck before moving his face closer to one of your breasts. with a soft purr, he began to lick at it slowly and carefully, taking his time to savor the taste of your skin. kabukimono began to lick and suck on your exposed nipples, tasting you full. he used his tongue to tease and stimulate them to their fullest extent until you moaned and squirmed ever so slightly. his other hand grabbed the second one, massaging and squeezing it gently until the light liquid started coming out of the nipple. your hand moved into his dark cat ear as you started rubbing it gently.
kabukimono purred loudly as he felt your hand on his ear, and he continued to lick and suck on your breast with renewed vigour. he could taste the sweetness of your milk flowing from the nipple, and it only served to make him more excited. as he drank from you, kabukimono became bolder in his actions. he slid his hand down your body, gently caressing your thigh before moving it up to cup your pussy through your nightgown. the sensation of your wetness against his fingers sent shivers down his spine, and he couldn't resist the urge to plunge them inside you.
arching your back, you cried out as he plunged three fingers inside you, causing your eyes to get teary. he continued to suckle on your breast, using his tongue to play with your sensitive nipple while his fingers abused your hole. you gripped the duvet tightly, this was the first time you had sex and you didn't expect this at all. moans poured unabashed from your lips as he scissored your walls, stretching them apart.
kabukimono moaned softly as he felt your walls clench around his fingers, and he increased the pace of his thrusts, pushing his fingers deeper into your pussy. the combination of the warmth of your body, the taste of your milk, and the sensation of being filled by him was overwhelming for him. he couldn't hold back any longer - he pulled his fingers out of you and positioned himself at your entrance.
"s- slowly!" you cried out as he pushed his erected cock between your folds, your legs spread apart. tears streamed down your face, both from the pleasure and pain.
sure, it felt good to be filled up, but it hurt especially since you're a first timer. he pushed his cock so deep until it hit your g-spot, he could literally see his bulge poking inside your stomach.
he hesitated for a moment, hearing your cry of pain and concern. he pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of love and understanding. "sorry, i should have been more gentle with you." he whispered the words before leaning down and giving you a tender kiss on the lips.
slowly and carefully, kabukimono resumed his thrusts, this time going at a much slower pace. he focused on making sure that each movement was gentle and comforting rather than forceful and overwhelming. as he did so, kabukimono leaned down and captured one of your nipples between his teeth, gently nibbling and suckling on it while continuing to fuck you. his thumb found its way to your throbbing clit, rubbing it in a circular motion. bucking your hips up into his fingers, you moaned as you felt yourself getting close to your orgasm.
kabukimono moaned softly as he felt your body responding to his touch, and he increased the intensity of his ministrations. his fingers continued to work their magic on your clit while his teeth played with your nipple, sending shivers down your spine. with each thrust, he felt himself getting closer and closer to his own climax. he could feel the pressure building within him, and he knew that it wouldn't be long now before he reached his mutual peak.
kabukimono purred loudly before he was sent over the edge, his hot seed shooting into you as he pressed his face into your neck. the feeling of your warmth and tightness around him was incredibly intense, he couldn't help but moan into your ear, muttering something in japanese. you could feel every single twitch and jerk as his hot load spilt into your hole. soon, you came with him, the knot in your stomach tightened and you squirted on his cock, your arm over your lips as you moaned, trying not to be so loud. more tears rolled down your cheeks, your face getting warm and you felt like you couldn't move your legs anymore.
when he finally came, kabukimono collapsed onto your body, panting heavily as he felt the last remnants of his seed trickle out of you. he laid there for a moment, simply enjoying the sensation of being connected to you in such an intimate way before rolling off to the side and pulling you who was still breathing heavily into his arms, his cock still kept buried deep inside you. "that hurts a lot than i expected." you huffed, wiping off the tears that stained on your cheeks.
kabukimono held you close as she spoke as he could feel your wetness still coating his member. he smiled softly, knowing that he had given you something special. "it can be overwhelming at first," he said gently, "but once we get used to it, it will become even more pleasurable."
it was his way of saying that this wasn't the last time you're gonna help him.
#genshin x reader#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x reader#scaramouche imagines#kabukimono imagines#wanderer imagines#kunikuzushi imagines#scaramouche x you#kabukimono x you#wanderer x you#kunikuzushi x you#scaramouche x reader#scara x reader#kabukimono x reader#kunikuzushi x reader#wanderer x reader#scaramouche smut#kabukimono smut#kunikuzushi smut#wanderer smut#scaramouche#scara#kunikuzushi#kabukimono#wanderer#scaramouche x y/n#kabukimono x y/n#kunikuzushi x y/n#wanderer x y/n
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