#Hope he lets it grow out again 🤞

[f1idk]

Yuki’s new haircut oh NO

[sports-on-sundays]

Okay so 🤭 what if Y/N use to be with ( whatever Barca player you choose ) and they broke it off because they supposedly wanted to focus on their career and the reader was really heartbroken and omg to make it more better y/n is Carlos sister and then she sees or hear how they moved on already! And little by little she starts to be with lando and they announce their relationship when he wins in Miami!! Like full on hard launch. 😭🙌🏽

Also this got me motivated to think of more ideas ima write them down for the future 🤭

papaya girl / LN4

Summary: ex!Ferran x Sainz!baker!reader x Lando - After a devastating breakup with your footballing boyfriend, you think you'll never be able to date someone again.

Warnings: there's a golf scene and I don't golf so-!🤞, mention of sickness, foul language, sorry if some things are not accurate, headache, partying/dancing/drunkenness/clubbing, mention of getting so drunk you had no memory of what happened, implied getting drunk to dampen emotions, getting injured, vomiting, slight soulmate feel, a bit of suggestive talk, use of babe/baby/bae/baby girl/etc., I feel like every kiss I describe is exactly the same sooo- sorry about that! ✌

Requested?: YES! 😘

Author's Note: Do you ever write something so good that you wish you could make it into a movie? That's how I feel about this. I can imagine the scenes. Didn't plan it but I guess 24 is the magic number for this one. I made the request more dramatic because... I like doing that... 👉 👈 🥺 ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST. PERFECT MIX OF ANGST AND FLUFF. I LITERALLY LOVE YOU! If you do have any more ideas and you're up for it, let me know!

When you met Ferran Torres, you were a Madridista with a passion for Ferrari. Being a Sainz, you've always been rooting for Real Madrid, but your favorite Formula 1 team isn't as consistent. Because before that, you were a McLaren fan. And before that, Red Bull. And everything else before that, too.

Wherever Carlos is, you're a fan of it.

You, quite literally, on the day you met Ferran, were wearing a Cristiano Ronaldo jersey and a backwards Ferrari cap.

And, well, he, a new arrival from Manchester City, liked that, apparently!

And it was beautiful. They way you slowly became closer and closer, growing to know each other more and more.

And then, maybe you just hit a point. Hit a point in your relationship where you wanted more, and Ferran realized that if any more was given by him, it would be too far for him.

And he cut it off. Said he was doing well in Barcelona. He had high hopes. You, a sold out Madrid fan, had been wearing his number on the back of a blaugrana jersey. And despite that blaugrana jersey, he ditched you.

He said his work, his career, his passions, his dreams, were more important than you.

But you can't complain, Y/n. That's fair. He was gentle in letting you know. He made it clear he didn't want any malice between you and him.

You roll over in bed, staring vacantly at your wall. There's a large Real Madrid flag hanging in the middle. A smaller Ferrari flag on one side. A few posters of bands and teams you like or events you've been to, signed by different celebrities. People who are more famous than 'Carlos Sainz Jr.'s sister' or 'Ferran Torres's ex-girlfriend.' On one side, it seems silly to have a poster signed by Max Verstappen, but you do. On the other side of the flag, you have a peeling old McLaren poster, showing the younger versions of Carlos and his former racing partner, Lando Norris, looking just seconds away from breaking into a loud, hysterical laughter.

And next to that, you have a Barcelona poster.

You smile sadly to yourself.

I must look like such a conflicted sports fan.

You stand up, walking over to the wall. After gently peeling the Barcelona poster off the wall, you slowly trace the badge with your fingers, any hint of a smile now gone as tears begin to fill your eyes, threatening to fall.

"This is stupid," you murmur scornfully, your voice cracking softly. "This isn't even my team! It's not my city...!" You toss the poster across the room, leaving it in a place where you don't intend to pick it up anytime soon.

Let it gather dust and crumple. That's what Ferran did. He threw away our relationship like it was nothing but a worthless piece of paper. And now I'm suffering the consequences.

You sigh. You're trying not to let yourself be bitter. You want to look back on everything you and Ferran had and be happy. Appreciate it. You still love Ferran. You don't want to be angry with him.

Someone said to you once, Hurt heals with time, as long as you let it.

You grab a bold, red Sharpie from your drawer and your notebook from a dresser. You scribble those words in all caps, rip out the page, grab some tape, and hang the piece of paper where the FC Barcelona poster used to be.

You sigh, but nod, before turning to get ready for your day.

You hate winter. You never hated winter before this winter, but now you hate it.

With the breakup, you've been avoiding anything La Liga like the plague, even if it doesn't involve Ferran Torres. It just reminds you too much.

And with Carlos on winter break, getting ready for the start of the season, he's not around much. Going on different trips, he's quite busy. Which you don't like. You and your brother have a strong bond.

It's not like you don't have anything to do. You just don't have anything interesting to do. You have a shop that you run, but you have enough staff hired to not have to be there all the time.

Yes, in a family of racing, you were never too into it. Your strong spot is in baking and business running, so that's why you opened up a bakery in Madrid.

And being a Sainz, of course it was a success.

Same type of thing as Charles Leclerc's 'LEC,' except you're not the racing driver Charles Leclerc, you're not doing ice cream, and you've always been doing this, for five years now.

You watch as a young, excited couple walks in, jabbering away in English. You can just tell they're tourists as they get in line to order. Once they get to the counter, the woman immediately leans over the counter in excitement, saying, "Is Carlos Sainz here?" in English.

You chuckle. Sounds American. "Which Carlos Sainz?" you tease.

They look blankly at you as if you're just about the dumbest individual to walk planet Earth. You chuckle and say, "Why don't you get to ordering? There's a line."

Towards the afternoon, as things begin to quiet down just a little bit, you look up at the doorbell jingles and freeze.

When he reaches the counter, you snap at Ferran, "Why are you in Madrid?"

"Am I not allowed to be? Either way, hello to you, too."

You sigh, licking your lips as you study the Valencian boy. "What can I get for you?"

He shrugs and orders, before seating himself down at one of the seats at the counter. "How have you been, Y/n?" he asks.

"Fine," you swallow, staring down. "And you?"

"I'm good." From there, he begins just talking, as if we're old friends or something, and not exes.

He seems so happy. So content.

To not be with you.

Suddenly, mid-way through one of his many sentences, you slip your hand over his, almost on impulse. He stops, staring to your hands, and then to you.

You breathe softly, "Why? Why did you come here to just talk to me? Aren't you moved on? Ferran, this is torture for me."

Lines crease into his face. You can see him swallow, looking at your smaller hand on his. "I'm... I'm sorry. I am moved on. I'm doing well. I just thought maybe we could be friends. I'd never want to date you again; I'm not in the place to date anyone. I'm happy single. But I just feel bad. I know you're hurt, and... I'd be happy to still be friends with you, is all?" He slips his hand out from underneath yours and takes his cup of coffee with it, taking a sip as he watches you intently.

You drag a hand over your face. Though you didn't want to admit it, seeing him come in to the bakery gave you hope. That maybe he wanted to try again. But those words that came out of his mouth? They cut deep.

"Listen, Ferran," you barely whisper. "I'm still trying to work through what happened. Everything. It's hard for me. But I appreciate it, and when I'm ready, if I'm ever ready, I'd love to be your friend. O- Okay?"

He nods slowly, staring down. "Alright... Fair enough."

"What's wrong?" your older brother, Carlos, asks. You watch outside the window as the world travels by.

You sigh. "Ferran."

"Him, again?"

"Carlos," you sigh. "Stop. It's nothing new. I'm just missing him. He wants to stay friends, but I said I needed time."

"Ah. Well, you know, I did tell you never to date-"

"-a Barcelona player. I know," you roll your eyes with a little smile.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "Hurt heals with time, as-"

"-long as you let it. I know," you comment, smiling a bit wider.

"Exactly. It'll come."

You sigh. "I hope so."

As Carlos pulls into the parking lot, you say, "So. Is that why you decided to take me golfing with your friends? Just wanted to check up on me, but you never have the time to sit down over dinner these days?"

Carlos smiles as he shuts off the car. "No. I could have made time. But I wanted your company golfing."

"You know I'm not big on g-"

"Shut up," he grins. "Yes you are."

"I suck."

"Not as bad as some people I know. In fact, you're actually pretty okay."

Soon, you meet up with a bunch of Carlos's friends. They're all chatting, and you're just kind of zoning off, looking out over the grassy hills, when suddenly you look up when Carlos says, "Ay! Lando!"

You blink in complete and utter shock. "Why is Lando Norris here?"

As Lando approaches, he eyes you, saying teasingly, "Well, thank you for the warm welcome, Y/n Sainz."

"Lando was just around, so he made the drive to meet us here," Carlos quickly fills in.

Soon, you're all off. After a round, as you're walking back to the cart to go get lunch, Carlos says, nudging Lando, "I think my baby sister is better than you."

Lando laughs. "You fucking muppet; what are you talking about?"

You grin, falling in step with Lando and Carlos. "I'm a better golfer."

"That is just wrong," Lando says, glancing at you. "Downright wrong."

"It's a Sainz thing," Carlos puts in. "There's no way for you to beat us, Lando. You can't. Winning runs in the family."

Lando rolls his eyes, reiterating, "Your baby sister is not better than me."

"You have no right to call me a baby," you put in indignantly. "I'm probably older than you."

Lando looks at you, his nose all scrunched up. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Hah! Same age."

"That still doesn't mean you get to call me a baby!"

"Her birthday is in January; different year than Lando's. Lando, you can call her a baby; you're older," Carlos says.

"Carlos!" you snap. "Don't give him permission!"

Carlos grins and shakes his head as he breaks off to chat with some of his other friends and get on the cart with them.

Lando grins, giving a discreet pat on your lower back as he murmurs, "Sorry, baby."

And for some reason, that makes you feel things. You decide to blame it on the fact that Lando's just good-looking.

Once you're all seated down with your lunch, you comment, "So what's with the whole..." your hand goes to your chin, referring to his facial hair, as you look at Lando expectantly.

Lando slams down his fork, saying lightheartedly, "Sick of people asking me that!"

You smirk. "Makes you look like you're forty."

"Whatever, baby."

"You know, I have a picture on my wall of you and Carlos when you were just babies, too."

As soon as Lando raises an eyebrow with a smirk, you know it was a mistake to word it that way. "You have a picture of me and Carlos on your wall?" he asks, mock condescendingly.

"No, no. I mean, I do, but- It's just an old McLaren poster." You immediately look down.

"What, are you a fan of mine?" Lando teases further.

"No! I'm a fan of Carlos, and you just so happened to be his teammate at that time. The point is that you two look like pipsqueaks in that photo! Lando, you looked so awkward, with all your acne-"

"What, Lando, you think she's a McLaren fan? She's sold out for Ferrari," Carlos interrupts.

"Literally! I deck myself out in red every Sunday!"

"Today's Sunday," Lando starts like the stupid idiot he is, "And I don't see you wearing red."

You groan, leaning back, covering your face in your hands. "Carlos, how are you this guy's friend? He's so annoying! Why'd you invite him for? How do you put up with him?"

Carlos just smirks, patting your shoulder, and says, "I'm used to having to put up with irritable people, after having to grow up with you."

You roll your eyes, fighting off a smile as all the guys around you at the table laugh out loud.

On the car ride back, you're mostly silent, your thoughts swimming with one thing and one thing only.

Lando Norris.

And there's a soft smile on your face as you think about your morning with him.

But Carlos can tell you're deep in thought. Usually, you'd be yapping away right now. "Anything on your mind?" he asks carefully.

You sigh. "Not much."

"You're bad at lying. You're staring out the window dreamily. What's on your mind?"

You sigh. "It's stupid. You'll make fun of me."

"I'm not stupid, though. I can already guess what it is."

You gulp. "How?"

"For the whole day, the only person you talked to was Lando."

You feel your stomach drop. "It's nothing serious, Carlos. He's just funny."

"You said something like that to me about Ferran Torres right before you officially started dating."

That makes you feel a bit sick. "Carlos, I won't let that happen again."

"Don't. And don't be getting interested in anyone until you're over your ex. And we both know you're not. And please don't be getting interested in someone like Lando."

"Why?" You eyebrows scrunch together. "I thought you two were buddies."

Carlos grins teasingly. "If you somehow got yourself with him, there would always be two annoying people in one place."

"You're intolerable!" you snap, laughing.

"You are too, hermana."

It strikes Carlos as strange when the first thing Lando says to him the weekend of Bahrain, before even a hello, is: "Is your sister here?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Lando shrugs. "She's nice."

"No... She'll be coming to Australia, though..." Carlos can't help but feel suspicion fill his chest. He's always been somewhat protective of you, being his little sister and all.

"Perfect," Lando grins, and he's off.

In Australia, like any other race, you're decked out in your red. Ferrari hat, Ferrari jacket, red jeans. Ferrari earrings. Even your black shoes have a stripe of red on the sides.

Carlos always tells you it's dumb. But it's become a part of your whole thing, since you spend a huge amount of your life following Carlos around and going to Grand Prixs.

It's fun sometimes, being Carlos Sainz Jr.'s sister!

But when you see a shock of papaya in your red world called Ferrari's hospitality, you squint, slipping your sunglasses up on your hat, and say, "Who said you could walk in like that uninvited?"

"No one," Lando grins, "but I'm only here to see you."

Your eyebrows raise as you stand up. "Wha-"

"Come with me. I'm going to barf if I have to breathe Ferrari air any longer. Just your terrible get-up is making me nauseous. I guess I'll be free from seeing that stupid outfit next year when Carlos isn't in Ferrari-"

"Oh, shut it, you!" you snap, but follow him with a grin on your face.

"So you broke up with your Barcelona man?" Lando start, cutting straight to the chase.

"Uh-" you swallow. "He broke up with me."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

You're not sure why Lando wants to know, and he certainly doesn't have any reason to know, but still you say, "We had been dating for a while, you know? I wanted something more. You know, to go deeper. Someday, I'd love to even maybe get married. But, Ferran... well, he didn't want to go the step deeper. Said he wanted to focus on his career. He broke it off. We're on fine terms, though."

"Ah..." he nods slowly. "That sounds like a tough breakup."

"Yeah... Yeah, it was."

He continues nodding, and catches your eye before saying, "So I'm assuming you want to... you know, you won't be up for any more relationships any time soon? Lot to work through?"

You suddenly feel your face begin to heat up. "Uh, well- depends on who it is, I suppose," you blurt without thinking.

"Hm?" He raises an eyebrow. A little smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. "Well, considering the fact that your face is just about as red as that Ferrari hat on your head, I'm wondering what you think of me."

You swallow, feeling even more embarrassed. "Are you suggesting...?"

"If you're up for it, the night after the Grand Prix, you can meet me at my hotel room, and we'll go from there. Text me if you decide 'yes,' for the details."

"I don't have your numb-"

He gives a cute little smile and opens his hand to reveal a folded up piece of paper. "Now you do. See you later, Miss Sainz!"

You stand, dumbfounded, as he jogs off.

"Oh my God, Carlos! Well done! So well done! Oh my God!" you scream in the midst of your strings of excited swear words, in both Spanish and English. "Did you actually just win the Australian Grand Prix?!"

He grins as he kisses your cheek, patting your back and saying, "Yes, I actually just did."

You hug your older brother tight, resting your head on his shoulder. "Love you. You did amazing. After everything you've been through. You're going to be leaving Ferrari next season and with your surgery and everything and-"

He smiles a bit. "Want to let me go now? Can't squeeze me too tight, remember?"

"So you can drive a race car and win the race, but you're too fragile for me to hug you!" you laugh, but release him from the hug.

He laughs out loud. "Yes, pretty much."

Hours later, you stand in the lit, mostly empty hallway, knocking on the white-painted door. You've change out of your Ferrari red head-to-toe fit, and are now wearing a black t-shirt with the F1 logo in red on the left side, black sweatpants, and your hair held back by a headband.

Lando probably isn't here, you think as you wait. I look so stupid. He doesn't care as much as he acts like he does. He's probably out partying or something. He got a podium. Carlos won. There's no way he's just sitting around in his hotel room-

You look up in surprise as the door clicks and swings open to reveal Lando Norris standing before you.

You beam and say a bit too loud, "Lando!"

He laughs. "Hey..." He's dressed in a white button down, dark blue jeans, and his regular assortment of jewelry. "Want to come in for a bit?"

You nod. "Were you... just out?" you ask slowly.

He chuckles again, plopping down on the sofa. "If I were just out, I wouldn't be looking this neat."

"Oh... Oh?"

"Come on. Sit down next to me," he encourages with a wave of his hand. "Something funny- I've had my eyes on you for a while now."

You look up in somewhat shock. "That's why you're so confident about this?"

"That, and that I'm just the peak of all confidence," he jokes, clearly mocking cockiness.

You roll your eyes.

"But really. I've been flirting with you for a while."

This time your eyes widen. "No way."

"Just little. I knew you were dating that Torres-"

"How?"

He smiles. "Doesn't take much to find out. Anyway, I think you just blocked it out because you were dating someone else. Shows you're a loyal girl."

"Hm..." you nod slowly. "I... I suppose...?"

Suddenly, he takes your hand in his. "So, you like me?"

"I think I have for a while. Like you said- I blocked it out because I was dating someone else." You didn't even know that until now, hearing the words coming from your mouth.

He smirks. "Even better. So..."

"Yeah?" you ask, a little glimmer in your eyes.

"I'd like to know what the hell you're wearing."

Suddenly, your face falls. "Uh- I'm sorry- I- I thought we- Um-"

Lando laughs. "Y/n! I'm teasing!"

"O- Oh!" you laugh nervously.

"I was just thinking... Maybe you'd want to go out and celebrate with me?"

"Oh-" you nod. "Right."

"So, do you want to get changed? I'll text you where we'll meet in a half hour?"

You grin, standing up. "Sounds good."

"See you then."

"Holy fuck, man," are Lando's first words when he sees you. You're wearing sunglasses, a form-fitting sequin shirt, and flattering white jeans.

"What?" you ask anxiously. "Is it too much?"

"Too much? Y/n, you're gorgeous."

You sigh in relief. "Alright good... And- one thing."

"Hm?" Lando asks, an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know if we... could we say we're... that you're my..."

"Partner? Boyfriend?"

You swallow. "Sure. I think... I think I'm good with that. At least for tonight."

He nods.

"But let's not make it clear here. I don't want the way for everyone to find out about this being, you know, by nightclub pictures on the internet."

He smirks a bit, nodding. "Fair enough, then. Let's go."

"Rise and shine! Let's hit the grind, Y/n!" an unfamiliar voice wakes you up.

You roll over to see Lando's handsome face looking down at you. You're in his hotel room, in the one bed. He's all dressed and ready to go, and towering over you, looking like a giddy dog.

You sit up, rubbing your eyes. "I've got a killer headache. What happened last night." You feel disgusting, and wrinkle your nose as you get a whiff of the alcohol scent radiating off of you.

He grins. "I learned that you have no tolerance whatsoever."

You frown. "Unlike you, Norris, I'm not getting drunk all the time! Now, tell me what really happened!"

"Nothing much. Just a lot of fun," he sits down next to you, "and it's a shame that you can't remember any of it." He chuckles a bit, saying, "You got fucking wild. You were more fun though before you got absolutely drunk out of your wits."

"You didn't do anyth-"

"No, no!" he rolls his eyes. "Besides, Carlos was there. I wouldn't dare. You at least remember Carlos, right, being there?"

You roll your eyes. "Yes, of course I do."

"But you really did completely black out? You don't remember anything?"

You swallow nervously. "No... I don't really remember anything... I mean, I guess..." You close your eyes, thinking hard. "Just dancing... music was super loud, but... that's not anything specific. I don't feel well at all now, though..." You start to feel a bit dizzy at the energy you're putting into trying to remember.

You open your eyes and look at Lando.

He smiles. "Well, it was fun, nothing more. Want me to bring you back to your hotel now?"

"Yeah, I guess..." you nod, cradling your head in your hands. "That'd be great..." You see the wine stain on your jeans. You can feel an ache in your ankle. You just need to clean yourself up.

Lando helps you limp to the car, assuring you that you just tripped. Saying your ankle is fine; it'll feel better in a few days' time.

You're not so sure.

As Lando drives, he knows he should tell you the details, like Carlos said.

But it still feels like you'd be better off not knowing at all.

Nine hours before

Though every single one of Lando's molecules in his body told him not to, he had to keep pushing you off. He sat talking away with some other dudes, and you sat his side, drunkenly trying to wrap your arms around him.

You blubbered softly about all kinds of stuff, a strange mixture of being utterly devastated and overly romantic.

Lando knew. You didn't get drunk this often.

A part of him felt bad. A huge part of him. He didn't think he had pressured you into anything. Certainly not intentionally. And you were the one who kept drinking more. But maybe he did...

Maybe it was his fault you were the mess you were now.

"Lando..." you murmured, your hand gripping his bicep. You leaned closer. "You're so sexy in that shirt." You reached over to unbutton another button of his shirt.

He gently pushed you away for the millionth time. "Remember, Y/n? You don't want anyone to know you're into me this much," he whispered lowly to you, running a hand through his hair. "Remember that, baby."

You pouted. "Ferran broke up with me and made me sad. Can't you make me happy now."

"Not now. I won't be doing anything when you're this drunk."

"I'm not that drunk..."

Lando snorted. "Whatever you say, lovely."

All was going as fine as it could be going. But then Carlos showed up. "Hey, Y/n-" he had started.

But you had interrupted him by slapping your hand on Lando's shoulder, leaning into it, and giggling giddily, "Look at this pretty boy."

Immediately, Carlos's eyes flashed with shock. And then vague panic. And then anger.

"Lando, how drunk did you get her?!" he snapped, raising his voice even more than he already was. The flashing lights on the Spanish man's face helped Lando's anxiety no more.

"I didn't get her drunk at all! I tried to stop h-"

"Yeah, fucking right. Come with me Lando-"

"No!" you had snapped, standing up to grab Lando's sleeve before your older brother could drag him away.

You were clearly biting back tears. "Lan didn't do anything..." You stumbled drunkenly into the British man, who steadied you gently, before helping you sit down again.

Carlos's face remained hard and steadied on Lando, but he spoke no words, as if he was battling in his head what to do.

Lando sighed. "Listen, Carlos. She won't remember any of this tomorrow morning. Let's just not bring this up again, yeah? It was a mistake. Stuff happens. She got wild and had one too many. We've all had those nights."

But Lando genuinely didn't think Carlos had had one of those nights before.

Lando certainly had, though.

"She deserves to know."

"Maybe she shouldn't, though. She's gone through a lot with her ex breaking up with her and everything. And I'm sure your career up in the air isn't helping her cause much, either. She loves you more than the world. And think about how worrying it was for her to see you go into surgery like that, and race right afterwards? The good emotions just hit her, man. But it's probably a lot. She's just going through a lot. She doesn't need the guilt of getting too drunk and acting a little stupid, yeah?" Lando ranted, intently studying the older Spaniard's eyes.

Carlos's eyes slowly softened. "Alright... I won't tell her what's happening once she's sober. Only if I can make a deal with you."

Lando bit his lip, running a hand through his messed up hair. "What is it?"

"I won't say a word to her, as long as you promise to stay away from my sister. I know you're interested in her."

Lando's eyebrows creased together. "What does that men? Why?"

"Quit trying to get with my sister, and then it's a done deal."

Lando let out a shaky breath, slowly nodding. "Alright, then. Whatever. It's a done deal."

Of course Lando didn't intend on following through with his end of the deal.

But when Lando turned around to check on you on the couch, he froze when he saw you were gone. "Where'd Y/n go?" he immediately asked the other guys and girls sitting around.

"The hot Spanish girl?" one guy asked in a painfully slow Australian accent.

"Yes, her!" Lando demanded, his buzzed brain filling with irrational panic and overwhelming confusion.

He lazily gestured and responded, "Went to go dance, I reckon."

And before Carlos or anyone else could react any faster, Lando tore into the crowd, shoving people aside and squeezing through gaps that weren't there, in search of you.

She's drunk out of her mind! What the hell was she thinking!

That's right. She wasn't thinking.

And then, he spotted you, just for a moment. Moving your hips, stumbling about, thinking you were just about the sexiest thing in the room.

"Move out of my fucking way," was Lando's polite way of shoving two guys out of the way.

He could see the sweat glistening on your face. He could see the dumb smile on your face, your high giggles. He could see fresh wine spilled on your white jeans. He could see hands on you; he took no energy to see who they connected to as rage filled his entire being.

And he watched, almost in slow motion, as your ankle rolled on your black stiletto, and you stumbled to the floor with a brain rattling, painful cry.

Immediately, Lando shoved his way to your side, slipping his hands under your body. "My God, Y/n!" he nearly screamed over the music. "You idiot! You beautiful, fucking stupid, idiot! Tell me why I fell in love with you! You're going to be the death of me!"

"Hi Lando," you murmured through tears. "My ankle..."

"Yeah, yeah, I see. Let's get you out of here, yeah?"

You swallowed, nodding as Lando tucked your hair behind your ear. He lifted you to your feet and let you lean on him as he helped you limp out of the club.

"I'm sorry, Lando..." you had muttered hoarsely.

"Hey, don't worry," Lando had responded. "Never apologize for having nothing but a good time."

But he, Lando Norris, disagreed with the words coming out of his mouth. That was his motto, his excuse, all the time. But as soon as soon as he saw you, someone he genuinely really loved, really cared about, living like that?

It made him sick to his stomach.

Speaking of that, as soon as you were outside, you stumbled away from Lando. He steadied you with one hand and held your hair back with the other as you doubled over and vomited, your previously red face impossibly pale.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah..." you gasped after about a minute.

"Alright. Okay. Let's get to my hotel room now."

Lando could barely understand your slurred words as you responded, "As long as we're getting away from here."

Now

You were going to go to the Japanese Grand Prix. But you just wanted to stay home. With a sprained ankle that confines you to crutches and an illness you've picked up, there was no way you were going to fly across the world for a Grand Prix, especially with the potential jet lag.

You lay on your couch and text Lando. You've been thinking, and you let him know that though you really do want to go places with him, you want to go slower.

You still don't know what happened on that night in Melbourne. For some reason, you can't get anything of significance out of Carlos or Lando. But you know more than what they're saying must have happened that night.

You asked Charles, because he was there. He provided a bit more information, but not much. He said he wasn't really hanging around you that night, but that he did see you cuddling with Lando.

When you asked Lando about it, he said you were drunk, it was just you not thinking, and it only happened once. That you stopped after he pushed you off.

And social media shows no one caught it on camera, or anything that night, for that matter.

So at least there's no fans going crazy over anything.

Lando texts you back, saying that he thinks it's best to go slow. Just let yourselves ease into whatever your relationship is going to be.

It's a relief to see he agrees with you on that.

But then he sends another text, asking you to try to keep it a secret. Even from your family, including Carlos.

You ask why, and he responds saying he simply agrees it's good to be private, and he doesn't want Carlos judging.

Though you're not sure about it, since Carlos is not only your favorite (only) brother, but also your best friend, you still tentatively agree to it.

Lando probably has a good reason.

Right?

By the time the Chinese Grand Prix comes around, though your foot is still in a walking boot, you're over your illness, and decide you're going to go for it and make the trip halfway across the world. After all, you've never been to China!

It's true that your walking boot doesn't look the best with your shades, shining silver jewelry, and overalls, but oh well. The most annoying part is literally everyone who even half knows your name (the Sainz part) keeps asking you what the hell happened to your ankle.

And you have literally no response but, "I fell," because you have no more of an idea than them, and there's no way you're about to say, 'Hah I just got drunk with Lando and got so fucking crazy that I twisted my ankle and sprained it! Anyway!'

Yeah, no way.

So "I fell," is the best option you have.

But the most concerning thing to you is that you haven't even seen Lando yet, all weekend. Though you haven't seen each other in a while, you've been calling, texting, and face timing often, your relationship growing a lot.

You chew your lip as you limp towards the McLaren garage. You peek in, scanning for Lando, but only see Oscar.

You limp to him.

"Whoa- What happened to your-"

"I fell," you say, thoroughly exasperated with this. "Anyway, is Lando around?"

"Lando? Uhhh..." he looks around.

Dude, hurry up. I'm not supposed to be here, your thoughts practically scream.

But then he walks in himself, and you grin, waving, "Lando!" you call.

He walks over to you, smiling. "Aw. Look at my little injured girlfr- uh, uhm, mate. My injured mate." He glances nervously at Oscar.

But the Australian just smiles, "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

Lando nods gratefully, before leading you to a more private place. "Hey," he says softly once you're alone, his hands resting on your waist. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright... Ankle's getting better, slowly but surely."

"Oh, good," he almost looks relieved. "That's so good to hear. I'm so glad you made the big trip to be here, Y/n."

You smile softly. "I was starting to miss you."

He grins. "I was missing you, too, baby... I think I could make some time for you this weekend, too. We could just get take out, hang out at my hotel room, you know. No more partying, even if I win, right?" he teases gently, gesturing to your foot.

You snort. "Yeah. Yeah, no more partying for now for me."

Later that night, you lay next to Lando in his hotel room. His arms are wrapped around you, his hand rubbing your back. "Look at me," he murmurs sleepily.

You look up to see his soft eyes looking at you, with so much, tenderness, so much...

love.

You feel a flutter in your stomach. "Lando, how did we get here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Two months ago, I would lie awake in bed, dreaming about and missing Ferran. I was so lonely. Now here I am. Two months, and I'm laying here, in your arms."

He grins a bit. "I bet it's because we're meant for each other."

"That's cliché."

"No, it's not. I really mean it. You know, I had a crush on you even back when Carlos was in McLaren, you were around a lot more, in papaya."

"No, you didn't-"

"Yes, I did!" he laughs softly. "I really did. The day I saw you in the paddock. The day Carlos pointed you out as his sister. The day you flipped your hair and looked at me with those warm brown eyes. And then looked away from me, because in my first season in McLaren, I was the farthest thing from attractive."

You giggle at this. "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not! That was the day that I knew- I knew- that someday, I was going to make you mine," he murmurs, his eye half-lidded as his hand gently caresses your cheek.

"Lando!" you squeak, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. "Don't you dare make me cry for no reason!" You wait a minute, before saying softly, "Well, maybe, just maybe, back then, though you were a pipsqueak, you were kind of cute... And I've always gotten butterflies from your jokes and teasing, even all those years ago, before I was even dating Ferran."

He laughs. "Awww... So you've always had a little bit of a crush on me, too!" You can see by his blushing cheeks and beaming eyes that just this fact is making him feel warm inside.

You roll your eyes, giggling. "I guess, maybe...."

He flicks your nose gently, playfully, holding you even closer. You lay there in more silence, before Lando says softer, even more tenderly, "Hey, Y/n... can I talk to you about something...?"

"Of course, Lando..." Your eyebrows knit together.

You watch as he swallows. Nods. Sighs. "Okay... Something has been bugging me..." He pauses. "I... I feel like I never should have brought you out that night in Australia... you know? Like, beyond the sprained ankle."

Your eyes flash. "What do you mean?"

"Well... You just got so drunk, and... I feel so bad... Like, somehow, it's my fault... I didn't mean for you to get hurt, or to drink that much... I just thought we'd have fun. Like I always do with my friends. And you're my girlfriend; supposed to be my closest friend..."

"Lando," you murmur shakily. "Did you try to get me that drunk? You didn't encourage it, did you?"

He looks nervous. "I genuinely don't think so, but I'm nervous I did... I tried to tell you enough was enough, but maybe I should have looked out for you more... Maybe I should have worked better at keeping you from getting that drunk... But we were having so much fun and I figured you would know your limit... I shouldn't have assumed."

"Lando! Don't blame yourself! It was my fault. I got too drunk, I fell and sprained my ankle. The sentiment of you wanting to look out for me is nice, but when push comes to shove, I'm in charge of myself, just like you're in charge of yourself, and it was my fault. My mistake. M'kay, Lando...?"

He nods slowly, still looking a bit unsure. "Well, Carlos isn't mad at you about it. He's mad at me..."

"Carlos is what?!"

"Ah, fuck. Forget I ever-"

"Lando Norris, explain."

"Whoa, that's sexy," he laughs.

"What?!" you exclaim in exasperation, yet you're still unable to keep your stomach fluttering by Lando's sudden spoken intrusive thought.

He grins, his eyebrows raised. "I don't know. Full name, in such a firm voice? Like, yes, mommy, order me around. I'll do whatever you want me to," he says in a low, goofy, teasing voice.

You can't stop your face from heating up. "Oh, shut it, you!" you snap, your voice cracking awkwardly as you flick him in the nose this time. And you flick his stupid nose harder than he flicked yours earlier.

He giggles evilly, rolling over. "Look at yourself! You liked that! You're a blushing mess!"

"No, I didn't. What a stupid way to flirt."

"Oh, well, I can show you even more stupid ways to flirt. Because, apparently, it doesn't quicken your heart rate at all."

You groan. "You are so annoying."

He leans over, giving you a peck on your lips. "I know. And you know you love me for it."

You forget to ask him again about Carlos.

"Baby, c'mere," Lando says, nodding for you to join him in his driver's room.

"Dude, watch what you call me when there's listening ears around."

Lando shrugs. "It's only Oscar in the other room."

"So? What makes you trust Oscar so much, anyway?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. He's a good guy. And he's not gossipy, like me."

You laugh. "You are, are you?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm a fucking gossip girl."

You laugh out loud at this as Lando shuts the door of his driver's room behind you.

Lando grins. "Anyways, Oscar is trustworthy because he's not the type of guy to have any desire not to keep a secret."

You frown, crossing your arms. "Alright. Whatever. Anyways, why'd you bring me in here?"

Lando shrugs, sitting down on the one chair in the room. "Sit down, babe."

You blink. "Where? On the fricking floor?"

"Uh, no," Lando rolls his eyes jokingly, as if this is the most obvious thing. "On my fricking lap, Y/n. Come on now. Duh."

You can't help but find yourself blush at that as you slip onto his lap. He wraps his hands around your waist, giving you a kiss on the cheek. You smile, leaning into him as you ask softly, "So why'd you bring me in here? Just for kicks?"

He grins. "I need my Y/n fix before the race. You know, it'll make me drive better."

"Oh? Is that how it works?" Suddenly, though, before Lando can respond, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You slip it out and sigh. "It's Carlos, asking me where I am. I feel like I'm under surveillance."

Lando blows a raspberry before saying, "Just ignore it, bae. You're a twenty-four year old woman; Carlos needs to get over it."

"Get over what?" you ask, an eyebrow raised.

"You not being his baby sister anymore. You're my baby now," he murmurs into your shoulder, pulling you closer to himself.

You laugh. "I still can't decide whether you're the worst flirt I've ever met or the smoothest. But right now, I'm thinking the worst."

"Oh, well!" he says, looking up at you with innocent eyes, batting his lashes. "Doesn't matter to me, because either way, you like it! Anyway, back to before Carlitos had to interrupt-"

You giggle as he begins kissing your face and say, "Carlitos? I'm not even allowed to call him that without him going psycho man on me-"

"Mmm... Can you talk less? It's cuter when you do that giggle thing," Lando murmurs between kisses.

This causes you to laugh out loud. "Sometimes, Lando, I think you're so weird." You realize, in a strange way, though, Lando is right. Because of the giddy feeling of literally having your boyfriend shower you with kisses and love, you're just kind of trying to find anything to talk about.

But maybe you should just take one moment to shut up.

You lean into the kisses, exhaling slowly. Contently, despite your pounding heart and sweating neck.

Finally, you feel as though your face is absolutely, completely covered in Lando's kisses. You sigh, contented, as Lando kisses the tip of your nose, and then pecks your lips.

You giggle, opening your eyes to gaze into his.

But his eyes flutter shut as he leans in, his hand slipping to the nape of your neck. And his lips meet yours again, this time in a real kiss. You shut your eyes, enjoying those lips on your own, sending tingles throughout your whole body, causing your breath to grow heavier and heavier. Desire pulses in every beat of your heart, causing the passion in the kiss to build and build. Your right hand falls into his chest as the other knits itself in his curly locks. You feel Lando's hand on your hip as his fingers snake under to grip your ass gently. You can feel his hot breath on you, in you, apart of you, as his other hand gently stroking your neck, giving you little twitches of longing for more. Your tongues find an art of lingering exploration, Lando's hunger seeming to never be satisfied as his tongue and lips tease your nerves, the emotional and physical connections between you seeming stronger than ever. His hand slides down your neck to your back, pulling you closer to him, so your chests are pressed into one another.

Suddenly, though, there's a pounding on the door of Lando's driver's room. Your eye cracks open. Lando's squeeze tighter shut, his eyebrows creasing together, as if he wishes so much that this never has to end.

Lando grunts, finally pulling away. Oscar's voice on the other side of the door saying Lando's name seems to be in another, insignificant world. You're both gasping as you study each other's eyes in a certain awe.

A soft, mischievous smirk appears on Lando's lips. Those lips that now you can't stop staring at. "Was your first kiss with Torres that hot?"

You let out a breathy laugh. "Definitely not."

There's a pause, of just softly smiling, gazing into each other's eyes, before Lando breathes, his eyes half-lidded, "My fucking God," He gently, slowly strokes your warm, pink cheek. "Did I ever tell you how head over heels I am for you?"

Before you can respond, Oscar's voice says again from outside, "Lando, if you don't respond, soon, I'm coming in."

Lando groans again, leaning his head back, "You can't! The door's locked!" He then adds under his breath, "Fucking Osc, interrupting as soon as I was going to take it to the next step."

At this, you blush even deeper. "You were-"

Lando waves his hand dismissively. "I would have checked with you first."

You nod, breathing deeply.

"Alright, baby," he sighs, running a hand through his hair, ruffling it up a bit. "Let's go see what the hell Oscar wants."

When the door swings open, Oscar can't help but chuckle how how much, in that moment, you two look like some snarky super villian duo, about to give him some cheesy monologue. You both stand, arms crossed, practically back to back. Lando wears a scornful grin and you display a glare as hard as stone. Even your clothes- Lando's racing clothes and your head-to-toe Ferrari red, finish off the silly look.

"What's so funny?" you demand upon seeing the Australian's laughter.

"Nothing, nothing. But I hope you guys know: These walls are not soundproof."

"What are you suggesting?" Lando snaps. "You couldn't have possibly heard anything, you idiot!"

"Whoa, whoa! I didn't! I'm just saying!" Oscar says, going on the defensive, putting both hands up. "Me and my girlfriend don't lock ourselves in my driver's room before the race, losing track of time and forcing you to go get us!"

"You and your girlfriend are probably going to buy a house with a white picket fence and have 2.5 children and a golden lab! Oscar and Lily is bad enough, but I'm surprised it's not John and Emily!"

"Whoa," Lando says, laughing as you walk out of the driver's room together and he shuts the door. "Shots fired. Calm down, Y/n; jeez."

But Oscar's laughing, too, so you know there's no need to apologize.

"Lan... You know I wasn't kidding earlier when I said I won't go out, right?" you say nervously as you walk into his hotel room, rolling your suitcase from your own hotel room.

"Yeah, I know you weren't. I wasn't kidding, either."

"So... What?" you ask, sitting down on the edge of his bed, crossing your arms. "You're planning on going alone? Then why did you bring me to your hotel room-"

"Y/n," he suddenly says, leaning down to gently grab your chin and look you directly in your eyes. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'm staying right here."

Your jaw actually drops. "I'm sorry, but who are you and what have you done with Lando Norris? Because that man would never miss an opportunity to party."

This makes Lando let go of you and break into a fit of laughter. "Y/n!" he breathes. "What the hell are you talking about? Before that, I would never miss an opportunity to spend time with you."

You stare. "Okay, actually. I'm being serious now. What did you do with Lando?"

You watch as your boyfriend chuckles, sitting down next to you. "Baby. I'm not going to go out clubbing while you sit in a hotel room alone. And there's no way I'm taking you out again; my guilty conscience can't take that, and neither can your sprained ankle. So why not celebrate P2 here, just you and I, hm?" he says in a low tone.

Immediately, at this suggestion, you blush. "Oh, uh, Lando... I, uh... I don't know if I'm ready for something... you know... for that... right now... Not yet... You know, it's too early for me in our relationsh-"

Lando suddenly breaks into laughter again. Oh, that sweet, silly sound. "Y/n! My God, what a dirty mind you have! I wasn't thinking that at all-!"

"You, Lando Norris, are saying I have a dirty mind?! I bet you really are his doppelganger!"

He crosses his arms. "Only reason why I wouldn't suggest that is because I know you're not ready. Which is more than one hundred percent fine with me. I wasn't even thinking about that, anyway."

"What were you thinking, then?"

He smiles with his eyes. "Well, let's both get ready for bed," he begins pulling his shirt off over his head as you absolutely bear your eyes into him, "And once we're both ready, I'll meet you back... here...?" His confused face slowly turns to one of teasing nature when he sees your eyes trained intently on his bare chest. His perfectly toned abs. His perfectly shaped pecs. His strong, straight, tan back. The little brown beauty marks sprinkled all over his torso. You would love to kiss every single one of them. "Why don't you take a picture?" he smirks stupidly. "That way, it'll last longer."

"Oh, shut up," you murmur, licking your lips as you tear your eyes away from his bare middle. "You can shower first," you murmur.

Once you're both all clean and ready, you snuggle up under the blankets, only to find your arm brushing against Lando's bare skin.

You feel your heart flutter as you murmur, "Are you not wearing a shirt just to bother me?"

"What, no," Lando says, overly innocently. "I never wear a shirt to bed. Just like I'm sure you never wear a bra...?"

If you were embarrassed before, now it's ten times worse. You specifically decided to wear a bra, to avoid... that. And now here Lando is, bringing it up like it's the weather.

"Uh..." you begin.

"Anyway!" Lando says, apparently seeing the vaguely panicked look in your eyes. "Wanna just watch a show or something?"

"Yeah," you nod. "That sounds good."

Lando turns some stupid show on his laptop, and as you snuggle and it gets later, you become more relaxed. You lean your head on Lando's shoulder as he plays with strands of your smooth, wet, dark hair. Your hands begin softly feeling his chest, just drawing circles and feeling the shapes of his abs.

Everyday, you seem to get to know Lando more and more- inside and out.

He sighs, contented, and murmurs sleepily, "That feels nice."

You smile, nuzzling into him.

"I saw Barcelona and Madrid played today," he comments as your fingers continue stroking the abs under Lando's soft skin.

"Yeah... El Clásico..."

"You don't sound as excited as I thought you would. I thought you were big on Madrid."

"Yeah, I am... Just having been keeping up with La Liga lately, I guess."

"Hm... Well, would you like it if I could find some way to watch the game...?"

You smile softly. "Hm. Yeah, maybe that wouldn't be so bad..."

Lando nods, and soon, you're cuddled up with your boyfriend, watching your favorite team play against FC Barcelona/your ex's team.

It feels weird, but you like it.

You decide your bra isn't very comfy and slip it off under your shirt before tossing it across the room.

"You're finally over being embarrassed with me?" Lando teases.

You smile softly, shutting your eyes. "At least for now. Too sleepy to care."

He smiles back. "You're cute when you're sleepy. Cuter."

Soon, though, Lando is gently shaking you, murmuring, "Look. Your ex was subbed on."

"Hmmm? What about Fer?" you murmur with a yawn. You must have dozed off for a bit.

"Fer?" Lando asks, his nose scrunching up. "Yeah, Ferran Torres."

Your eyes flutter open to see your ex-boyfriend running onto the pitch. You feel a sudden, unexpected pang in your chest. When you and Ferran were still together, you watched him do that so many time, with a sense of pride and excitement.

But now, you don't feel much at all. It's no different from anyone else going out there to play.

But, like a train, memories of the past begin to hit you.

Going for walks with him. Cheering him on at finals. Hanging out with his teammates. Working out with him. Bringing him to the Barcelona Grand Prix. Exchanging gifts on birthdays and holidays.

Just all the little things you used to do.

Like snuggling with each other on late nights after Barcelona won.

Not unlike what you and Lando are doing right now.

Suddenly Lando's arm around you tightens, and he says, "You okay?"

"I- yeah..."

Lando leans forward to see you face. You try to turn it away. Lando doesn't let you.

You stare into each other's eyes.

"You're crying," he states softly.

"I guess..." you trail off, averting your eyes.

There's a few beats of silence before Lando states again, "You still miss him."

"I guess..." you repeat. "But... I'm happy to be with you... it just all happened so quick... It's a lot for me... I'm mostly over it- over him- by now, but sometimes things just... make me start to think. Reminsce of what's not anymore."

Lando slowly nods, and begins rubbing your shoulder. "I- Alright..."

"But don't worry. I'm way more happy to be with you right now than sad to not be with Ferran any longer."

"You're sure?" the Brit asks tentatively.

You nod, leaning into him once more. "I'm sure. One hundred and one percent."

"Hey, Lando," you grin giddily before the Miami Grand Prix. "Just drive your best out there, okay? Good luck, baby." You give him a high-five. You can sense he wants to give you a hug, but painfully knows he can't because of the ever-watching cameras and eyes all around you.

But he leans in close, until you can practically feel his breath on your face, and says softly, in just about the most heart-wrenching-in-a-good-way low voice, "Oh, baby... I'm going to go out there and win that race. For you."

"Oh, stop being such a romantic. You're going to make me cry."

He leans in, about to kiss your cheek, but you gently push him off, saying, "You better get going, Lan! Race is going to start soon!"

"Right! Bye bye, bab-"

"BYE!" you scream to overpower his stupid 'baby girl.'

And before you can even blink twice, it seems-

It's lights out....

And away we go!

"LANDO! FUCKIN'! NORRIS!" you scream as soon as you see him, running to him as fast as you can. Your eyes threaten to fill over their brims with tears as you leap into Lando's arms, immediately forgetting about hiding your relationship.

Right now, that just seems too silly to care about. It doesn't matter enough.

Your boyfriend is a race winner.

The racer winner!

He leans back with the most joyful, most romantic, most adrenaline filled, most glorious look in his eyes as they search yours. His hand slowly strokes your cheeks as he purrs, "I told you I would win it for you, didn't I?"

"Lando-" you begin in excitement, but are interrupted by Lando's lips on yours, aggressively, passionately leaning into yours, flooding all his emotions into you, sharing his dream coming true with you.

For some reason, you begin to cry. Flows of tears, flooding down your cheeks as you kiss each other, and your heart pounds at a million kilometres an hour. His hands grip your waist tight, and the moment-

It all seems so perfect.

Right now, you don't care about the fact it was supposed to be secret. You don't care about what Carlos will think or say or do, or what fans on social media will post. None of it matters.

In this moment, the only two people that matter are you and Lando, in a symphony of amorousness, standing on the top of the world.

In this moment, you and Lando, both in sync, know this is the right time. Though it's been merely three months of being in a real, serious relationship, it feels like several lifetimes.

You don't care about the shock of other people, or the cameras flashing and clicking and filming.

All the sudden, you're proud of it.

You want everyone to know, no matter how they'll react, that you're Lando's, and Lando is yours.

When you finally break away from each other, Lando's smile remains as he gazes into your eyes.

"Are you crying too?" you giggle softly as you spot a glint in his eyes.

"What? Me, crying? No, I'm not crying! Of course I'm not crying!" he says teasingly, hastily wiping at his eye with his thumb. "You're the one crying! But anyway-" He slips the papaya McLaren cap off his head and plops it on yours, saying, "Won't be needing this for the top step. Besides," he smirks, leaning in closer. "Enough with all this Ferrari stuff. I think it's finally time for you to admit: Papaya looks best on you. Papaya's your color."

As you watch him jog off after that, stunned, you feel pleased.

Finally, for once, content.

That's right. My color isn't white, or blaugrana. It's not Ferrari's red, either.

I'm a papaya girl.

His papaya girl.

[scarisd3ad]

To the end and back | Daryl Dixon x reader

Chapter twenty six | I love you, I’m sorry

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Warnings - ANGST! Guns, and shooting, Death, mentions of sex, cursing, usual twd warnings

Summary - after the world ended you were sure you’d never find love again but a certain archer catches your eyes and changes the entire trajectory of your life.

(A/N) - it’s finally here! Yay I’ve been working on this chapter since may and I’m so happy I’ve finally finished it. I know progress with my fics have been moving a little slower that they usually do but I’m hoping fingers crossed 🤞that I am able to speed the process up a little in the coming months 🫶🏻 also finally introducing the governor as the readers father in this chapter, I kind of hinted at it last chapter, to play around with the idea of it being canon. And I really like the ideas and situations I’ve came up in my head to put them in.

‘The suicide king’

S3 ep 9

Daryl is unbagged and pushed forward towards the middle of the arena. Merle and Daryl stand frozen, their eyes scanning the crowd in utter disbelief. The deafening sound of boos and heckles echoes throughout the arena, drowning out any other noise. Daryl's chest is heaving, faster and faster with each shout made from the audience of people. A blonde woman is attempting to force her way through a group of people, most likely the Governor's personal bodyguards, to get closer to him.

She manages to get through the first set before a surprise second set grabs her up before she can even get to his side. The governor - or maybe I should just start calling him Philip - because I finally know who the man behind the oh-so-mysterious name 'the governor' is. It's funny, I've been looking for this man for the last, what? 20 years of my life and I'm able to find him not even a year into the apocalypse so easily. How could he avoid his kids for 20 years in the old world, but he couldn't even last a year without me finding him now?

I really want to know how my father, Philip Blake, ended up being some dictator for a survivor's refugee camp. I almost want to laugh at how 'badass' he looks right now. makeshift eyepatch over one eye, as he looked over all his people so proud to be an asshole. My father was never much of a threat, but god he tried to be, though he really tried. I didn't hear much about my dad growing up, my maternal grandpa always muttered about how he was "such an asshole of a man", but the one thing I did hear from my paternal grandmother was that he ended up skipping town got some stupid office job and started a new family. it was all some bullshit about needing to start over, without my 'slut of a mother'.

His arm raises, so it's pointing towards Merle. The people of Woodbury immediately quiet down as their leader begins to speak. "I asked where your loyalties lie. You said here." Daryl was finally let out of whatever shackles that were placed around his arms, letting them fall to his sides freely. "Well, prove it. Prove it to us all." My blood runs cold.

"Brother against brother," he says with a dry chuckle. The crowd copies their leader, letting out a small chuckle that's paired with a quiet "yeah."

"Winner goes free" the crowd cheers at that, probably hoping and praying that Merle is able to win. Even though Merle was now deemed possibly 'unloyal' in the governor's eyes, it was still the better option for them. If Daryl died, Merle would have absolutely no reason to want to help us. Merle would go back to being Philip's loyal righthand man, and we, the 'terrorists' would be dead. Glenn had already told them our location and they would be marching up to our door with pitchforks in no time. Philip walks towards Merle shouting "Fight to the death!" as he does so. The crowd cheers once again. This was a scene taken straight out of one of those shitty medieval times shows.

The blonde woman finally turns, revealing her whole face to me. Andrea, the woman I thought I had accidentally left for dead, was here? Of all places, how did she end up here? Well, she had already shown us she didn't care about being led by an asshole, and if she was as close with Philip as she seems, she should already know how much of an asshole he was. "Philip, please. Don't do this," Andrea pleads, as one of Philips's men holds her back. "Don't do this!" He doesn't even glance at her, choosing instead to keep his eye on his prey. He glares at the two men standing in front of him, a smirk on his face that shows he truly enjoys this. The torture. He doesn't even have to do it himself, he just has to sit back and watch.

Merle raises his hand in the air before shouting "Y'all know me!" the crowd cheers, and I can see the absolute look of betrayal on Daryl's face. "I'm gonna do whatever I got to do to prove..." He hesitates for a moment before swinging his arm back and delivering a forceful punch to Daryl's stomach. With a loud grunt, Daryl collapses to the ground, and the crowd erupts in excitement. I stand frozen, unable to believe what I'm witnessing. how could he do that? Do that to his brother? "Holy shit," Jack gasps as Daryl begins to push himself up off of the ground. "That's my loyalty to this town!" just as Daryl has gotten his head off of the ground, Merle kicks him, sending him right back onto the ground.

Daryl lies motionless on his back, his chest heaving up and down with a faint rhythm. My eyes are fixed on him, hesitant to glance away, as if by doing so I might miss the final moments of his life. Merle continues throwing blow after blow as Philip watches on the sidelines with a sick look on his face. The crowd cheers as they lead out a walker. It's practically on a leash as some man, probably another one of Philips's men, leads him toward Daryl and Merle.

Finally, Daryl throws a punch. It's towards Merle's ankles but it gets him somewhere. It gets Daryl back onto his feet. Daryl launches himself toward Merle, tackling him, or at least trying to, but Merle has a leg up in this competition. merle gets Daryl down to the ground first. Both men have their hands around each other's necks as three of Philips's men lead three walkers towards them.

I don't even know what to do to help Daryl out. I could cause some type of distraction. If something more dangerous happens, it could give Daryl the freedom to escape. My eyes fall to my bag. I open it up and grab my gun right as Daryl and Merle get back to their feet. The two are working together to defeat the walkers.

My ammunition is running dangerously low, but my determination to save Daryl is unwavering. I'm willing to take the risk and use my last bullet to help him escape. My breaths come in quick and shallow as I raise my gun, my hands trembling with apprehension. I take aim at a man standing near Philip. I let out one more shaky breath before pressing the trigger and letting the bullet fly out of the gun and toward the man. Luckily for me, my aim was amazing today. The bullet tears right through his skull. Everyone around him screams as he falls to the ground with a thud.

Suddenly, someone behind Jack and I start shooting rounds into the arena, which makes even more of a ruckus. As I turned around to glance behind me, my eyes fell on Maggie, who was casually leaning against the top of the cold metal dumpster that was situated behind us. She shoots round after round into the arena. I let out a sigh of relief and began running back towards her. rick throws one of his smoke bombs, and Maggie continues to shoot. All I can hear is the sound of the automatic rifle and screams. Everyone's scattering like flies. Rick looks up at me, his mouth is open as if he's about to ask me something before his eyes flick to Jack who's stood behind me. "Who's that?"

"Old friend... he helped me," I reply. Rick continues to stare at Jack, scrutinizing him from head to toe as if he's trying to find a reason not to like him. I already know what he's going to ask. "Is he one of the governor's men?" I quickly respond, "He was just a resident and didn't know anything about what was going on, right Jack?" Jack nods, muttering a quiet "mhm."

Daryl and Merle sprint towards us while Rick urges, "Daryl, let's go!" Without wasting any time, we all take off at full speed, our hearts pounding with fear of being spotted by Philip or his men. The only sound that can be heard is our pounding footsteps on the ground as we race towards safety.

-

We manage to escape the arena and run back into the main town area. We were cautious as we walked around, hoping everyone was in the arena, but there was no actual way to know, so we were as careful as we could.

"they're all at the arena, this way!!" Merle instructs, attempting to lead us toward an exit. Rick was quick to shoot down the idea of Merle going with us. "you're not going anywhere with us!" he growls. "You really want to do this now?!" Merle asks as he runs towards the fence, attempting to pry apart the metal, as Rick and Daryl stand guard. I pray to God Rick won't say anything about Jack going with us. I don't want him to stay here, knowing the possible doomed future of Woodbury.

Finally, Merle manages to pull apart the metal, leaving a nicely sized hole in its wake. We all slipped through without a problem, but we're only met with walkers on the opposite side. "A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE!" Merle shouts as he beats a walker to death with his prosthetic arm. Daryl was quick to pitch in, shooting a walker with his bow. I pull my gun out, shooting off my last bullet into a walker's head, "We ain't got time for this!" before beginning to sprint off.

I stand motionless next to Jack, anticipation building as we await instructions from Rick. "let's go!" Daryl shouts once it's been more than a few seconds, Rick, Maggie, and I not moving. I'm glad Daryl hasn't asked about Jack yet. Maybe it's just because he's too busy to realize. But I hope he never mentions it. I'm scared he'll get mad, or jealous. He's just a friend now, hell we were tiptoeing around a breakup when the outbreak started. But I don't know how Daryl is with exes. I know he can get jealous; he has many times before. Normally, I can predict what he'll do in certain situations, but with Jack, I just don't know how Daryl will react. rick folds, deciding to follow after Merle rather than die.

-

The walk back to the car is long. My hands are in my pockets as I trail behind a bit, with everyone else at least a few feet ahead of me. I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I can't help but overhear Merle and Daryl's conversation. "sooo, wha's up with you'n tha' bitch?" Merle asks, his head tilting back, so it points towards me. My heart stops, wondering what Daryl would say. Would he refer to me as his girlfriend? Even though we already had discussed what our relationship was, and I was confident in my role as Daryl's girlfriend, I was scared that he'd be embarrassed to admit that we were in a relationship with his older brother.

Daryl's quiet for a few seconds, giving his brother enough time to throw in another comment. "You to fuckin' around or something?" Daryl chuckles left hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Um...I guess me'n her are together," he says with a shrug. Merle almost immediately bursts out in a booming fit of laughter, which makes Rick turn around and glare. I don't understand what's so funny. Was it so farfetched that Daryl and I were dating? I can see the back of Daryl's ears turn a bright red as his hands nervously play with the hem of his shirt. "yer datin' her! ain't she fuckin' that Chinese boy?" I almost scoff at Merle's assumption. I can almost hear Daryl's eyes roll as he says, "Nah... they're just friends."

"ya sure? I remem-" Daryl's quick to shut Merle down once again "I'm sure"

-

It's about 20 minutes later when we end up back at the other side of the large acre of woods where we parked the car. As we approach the car, Rick whisper yells out Glenn's name, which makes both Glenn and Michonne get up and run to us. "Oh, thank god," Glenn sighs out as he approaches us. Rick was quick to squash the inkling of relief that Glenn had by revealing our newfound problems. "Now we got a problem here. I need you to back up." the moment Merle's face comes into Glenn's sigh, his face instantly contorted into anger "What the hell is he doing here!" Michonne pulls out her Katana in an effort to protect herself, and Daryl, he's quick to begin yelling in an effort to protect his older brother. There is a gun pointed at almost everyone in the group. "are you guys always like this?" Jack mutters quietly, "Always," I reply with an eye roll.

Everyone is yelling over each other; I can barely understand one word that's coming out of anyone's mouth. "Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you," Rick scoffs, while I cross my arms over my chest, feeling absolute annoyance simmering inside me. "Hey, we both took our licks, man," Merle chuckles as his back presses against the tree behind him. "Jackass" Daryl scoffs with an eye roll. merle pushes himself off the tree. "Hey shut up!" Merle shouts back at his brother, his voice filled with pure annoyance. The brotherly squabble is quickly shut down by Rick with a loud "Enough!" but that just turns into another fight. "Hey! hey! Relax! Put that down!" Rick shouts at Michonne, who's got her Katana pointed at him. "Get that thing out of my face!" Daryl shouts, swatting at Glenn's gun.

Merle laughs. "Man, look like you've gone native, brother." Daryl turns around, his anger now fully directed at his brother. "NO more than you hangin' out with that psycho back there." Merle just has a smirk on his face, mainly just to piss Daryl off even more. "oh, yeah, man. He is a charmer, I got to tell you that. been puttin' the wood to your girlfriend Andrea big time, baby." Merle said eye's making direct contact with Michonne. my eyebrows furrow with confusion, not because of Andrea fucking my father, that was predictable, Andrea liked a man with power, but I'm confused because Andrea and Michonne had known each other. Glenn's just as confused brows furrowed as he asks "What? Andreas in Woodbury?"

"Right next to the governor," Daryl replies. Michonne takes a few steps forward, pointing her Katana in front of her once again, with the intention of hurting someone. "I told you to drop that!" Rick shouts, lunging forward, making Michonne lower it once again. Michonne has a blank expression on her face as Rick asks, "You know Andrea?" her eyes don't make contact with Rick, instead settling for somewhere right behind him.

Rick doesn't take her silence for an answer, so he gets closer, and his voice drops to a low, sinister whisper, "Hey, do you know Andrea?" he asks once again. She doesn't answer, letting Merle answer for her. "Yep, she does," he says, a smirk displayed on his lips. "Her and blondie spent all winter cuddlin' up in the forest. Mm-mmm-mmm." Rick has a look of betrayal on his face as Merle continues to reveal more and more of Michonne's secrets. "Yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains."

What. The. fuck? two pet walkers! "kinda ironic now that I think about it." Daryl is done with Merle's mouth. Daryl quickly spins around shouting "Shut up, bro!" Merle laughs, obviously finding Daryl's anger hilarious "Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dyin'."

"Is that why she's with him?"

Merle nods. "Yeah. Snug as two little bugs. So, what ya gonna do now, sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards." Merle says, just poking and prodding at Rick, trying to get a reaction out of him. And a reaction is what he got; Rick turns his head, commanding Merle to "shut up!" Merle, being Merle, doesn't comply and continues his antics. Merle chuckles. "Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic!" he shakes his head in faux shame. "All these guns and no bullets in them."

Merles once again got on his brother's last nerve. "Merle! shut up!" Daryl growls, leaning forward a bit, trying to intimidate his older brother. Merle doesn't take that and begins to shout, "Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you roll-" Merle isn't even able to finish his last sentence before Rick quickly strikes him in the back of the head with his gun, causing him to fall to the ground unconscious with a thud. "Asshole."

-

We're all gathered around in the middle of the road, leaving Jack sat on the side of the road, feeling he had no place in the conversation, and Merle still in the woods. Daryl's trying to propose that Merle comes with us, but Rick's not so sure, feeling it will just cause trouble. "It won't work," Rick sighs. Daryl still tries his best to convince Rick, though "it's gotta" I'm not on either side. I know Merle is nothing but trouble. I've known that since the moment I met him. But I also know that Daryl has beaten himself up over losing his brother for the past year. I know having his brother with our group again would make him happy. I want Daryl to be happy, I really do, but Merle has already caused so much trouble for our group. Hell, he kidnapped and almost killed Glenn and Maggie.

"it'll stir things up," Rick argues. I know he's right. Having Glenn and Merle under the same roof probably won't end up well. Glenn was already so pissed off; it wouldn't be right to make Glenn and Maggie feel more unsafe than they already did. "Look, the governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle," Merle did already know a bunch about Phillip, but who says he's even gonna help up, all he did back at the quarry was fuck around and start unnecessary fights with Shane.

"I'm not havin' him at the prison,"

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol, Beth, or hell, Casey?" Glenn asks. thinking about it, I don't want Merle Dixon anywhere near Casey. I know Merle is Daryl's brother and all, but he should really think about this. I was barely comfortable being within 5 feet of Merle myself let alone my 5-year-old. he has to start thinking about the bigger picture, he has to start thinking about how this could affect Casey, Carl, and the baby. Daryl grunts before muttering, "he ain't a rapist." He wasn't a rapist, but he sure did make me more than uncomfortable on multiple occasions. Look at him, the way he talked, the men he hung out with; would he really want that kind of person around the children?

"Well, his buddy is." Daryl was still trying to plead Merle's case. "They ain't buddies no more. Not after last night," I sigh, arms crossing over my chest "C'mon D you know how Merle is, do you really want that around case?" he huffs, trying not to make eye contact as a look of betrayal spreads across his face.

"There's no way Merles gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats," Rick says. I know Rick doesn't want to piss Daryl off, but he also wants everyone in our group to feel safe. "So, yer gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?" Rick shakes his head, saying "She's not coming back. " 

"she's not in a state to be on her own" Maggie argues. Maggie and Glenn continue to try and plead Michonne's case. "She did bring you guys to us" Glenn whispers, in a way he's right. Michonne had helped us, but she's already practically gone rogue pointing that damn katana at people. we just don't know what she's capable of yet. "And then ditched us" rick argues, head turning towards Glenn. "at least let my dad stitch her up" Maggie begs, we can't just leave her out for dead, we should at least let Hershel check her out, so she's has the best chance of survival out there, it just the right thing to do. "She's too unpredictable." She's a loose cannon, that's for sure. On one hand, she has proven herself to be beneficial to our group, but on the other hand, she has also shown us that she could be harmful to our group. She's helping us, but also going missing for a long period of time and pointing her damn Katana at us like we're the bad guys.

We're staring at Michonne. She is leaning against the side-view mirror, staring back at us, almost as if she knows we're talking about her. Scratch that, she probably does know because Rick is not trying to whisper at all. He wants her to know she's unwanted, hoping she'll take a hint and scurry off before Rick can boot her out. Daryl nods agreeing with Rick, "That's right, we don't know who she is" he mutters, but he's only agreeing with Rick right now to try to slip in a word about Merle staying with us.

"But merle, merles blood." Daryl says almost acting like we're all some big family. Deep down, I have a feeling he'd run if Merle asked him. We're not blood, I'm not his wife, Casey's not his daughter. I'm his girlfriend, barely even that sometimes, and Casey, she's a little girl who has accidentally grown too attached. The 'D' around my neck means nothing if Merle is asking for something, and I know that. I wouldn't expect him to choose me over his brother, and I know he wouldn't expect me to pick him over mine, even if it would be a difficult decision for me.

Glenn shakes his head in disgust. "No, merles your blood, my blood, my family is standing right here, and waiting for us back at the prison." We had no ties to Merle, no need to keep him. The only one who did was Daryl. we all know the line we're tittering on, we all know the thoughts and decisions racing through his mind. We all know he's thinking about leaving and going with Merle. that's why my eyes are burning into his with a stare begging him not to. Begging him not to make me go back without him, begging him not to make me explain why he didn't come back. "And you're part of that family, but he's not. He's not"

I can see the anger boiling in his chest, the words he's trying to fight back. "Man, ya'll don't know" We all stare at him waiting for him to say it because we know he is "Fine. we'll fend for ourselves." he finally says it, which almost sends me over the edge. I just want to scream at him. How could he just leave, leave after promising he'd come back? "that's not what I was saying," Glenn says, trying to make Daryl think about his decision. "no, him, no me." It's as simple as that. He didn't think about Casey, Carol, Beth, or hell fucking me. "Daryl, you don't have to do that"

"It was always merle an' I before this" Then he makes eye contact with me, and he sees it, the tears pooling in my eyes that I desperately try to blink back, the begging the pleading, but he doesn't care. "So, you're just gonna leave?" I ask finally breaking my silence. His eyes meet mine. "you'd do the same thing," he mutters. My brother, he wasn't like Merle. He wouldn't be booted out of the group because my brother was a good man. "What do you want me to tell Casey? you promised her you'd come back." he shrugs, almost like he doesn't care. "y/n ya gotta understand this is my brother, my blood. You'd do the same if you found yer's. I know ya would"

"My brother's dead," I say, my voice comes out bitter and harsh. Because how could he bring up my brother, who's dead? Who died trying to help me? How could he compare his racist, misogynistic, absolute scumbag brother to mine? "Then ya should understand. "my arms cross over my chest, and my face twists into a disgusted expression. I can't believe he'd just leave us like that. After everything we've been through. He said he loved me. I thought he thought more of me. I thought this was it. I thought he was going to be my husband.

Daryl starts walking, pushing past Maggie and me, muttering, "Say goodbye to yer pops for me." I spin around on my heels, facing him now rather than Glenn and Rick. I'm practically chasing after him shouting "You're seriously leaving?! After everything we've been through?!" he ignores me and just continues to walk until he gets to the trunk of the car. He opens it and begins to gather his items.

"So, this is it?" I whisper, my hands shoved in my pockets, "guess so" he mutters, my heart drops and tears begin to pool in my eyes once again. "Seriously? What about Casey?" he shrugs, not answering because he knows whatever he's going to say is just going to piss me off. "What about me D? What about us?" a tear falls down my cheek, and my hand reaches up to wipe it away. "you'll get over it," he mutters, slinging his bag over his shoulder. That hurt me. It felt like a stab to the gut. Did he really think I just get over him like that? He shakes his head, almost as if he was trying to ignore the tears that lined my waterline. he's trying not to care.

I've watched Daryl grow so much as a person in the last year. The man I knew yesterday was a scrap of the man I had met at that quarry. But somehow, with Merle's reappearance, he went back to the Douch bag he was. He no longer cared for Casey, Beth, or Carol. He no longer cared for me. He no longer cared about us. All the late-night conversation meant nothing, the necklace meant nothing, Casey meant nothing. "I-I love you," I whisper, hoping it would change his decision. Hoping the quiet admission of love would snap him back into reality.

"Then stop..." he mutters. His words are so bitter, so calloused they slice right through my heart, breaking it into a million pieces. "ya got whoever that guy is over there, ya got Glenn. know you'll be fuckin' one of them by the end of the week," he mutters. Hot, angry tears begin to fall down my cheeks. How could he say that? Was that really all he thought of me? A slut? Did he think I was only with him for the sex? The sex that was so far in between that I can't recall the last time we had it. Did he not notice how in love I was?

I rip the necklace from my neck and throw it at him. It hits his torso before falling to the ground with a soft thud. The silver metal glimmers in the sun staring up a simple reminder of what we were, and what we could have been. "Fuck you" is the last thing I mutter before wiping my tears and turning to walk back towards the group.

-

The ride back to the prison is a blur. I sit in the back, middle seat, with a shell-shocked look on my face. I don't want to cry, but my body wants me to cry. There's a lump in my throat and I'm desperately trying to hold back tears. The whole ride Glenn muttering quietly to me, "I'm so sorry" "I didn't think he was really going to leave" I don't pay attention to him. I can't listen, I can't pay attention. I just want to be in my head right now. I feel the car stop and feel people leave, but I don't pay it any mind. I don't even pay any mind when I hear the shouting outside. I just want this all to be over.

I'm zoned out until I feel the car park, and everyone gets out. I get out, hands shoved in my pockets. The only thing that knocks me out of my head is the feeling of two little arms wrapping around my leg. "you're back," Casey squeaks as I bend down and pick her up. Her arms wrap around my neck and her head buries itself into my shoulder. I know the inevitable question awaits us, and I still don't know what I'm going to say. When I feel her head leave my shoulder and begin looking around, my heart begins to slam against my chest. "where's Daryl?" she asks eyes still searching, "he...Daryl left"

"Did he die?" she asks, brows furrowing up as I shake my head. I'd rather he had died. It's easier to explain to her that he died rather than he decided to leave us. "No, baby. He found his brother and decided he needed to be with his family." Her brows furrow up even farther, if that's even possible. "I thought we were his family?"

-

When I get back inside, I tell Casey to stay with Carl and go up and find an empty cell. This is when I finally let myself break down. Sitting on the bed with my head in my hand, I just let go. I'm full-on ugly crying, with tears streaming down my face, and snot bubbling out of my nose. I just hate him so much for leaving. Broken sobs escape my lips as I try to keep myself as quiet as possible. I don't want anyone else to know how badly this hurt me.

My chest rises and falls fast with each gasp I take. The only thought that is racing through my mind is why would he do this? How could he do this? Did he really think that I was a slut all this time, or was it Merle's comments about Glenn, and I that suddenly had changed his opinion of Glenn and I's relationship? Did he seriously think I didn't love him?

"You, okay?" a knock on the wall pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see Carol. My bottom lip wobbles as I shake my head 'no'. she lets out a sigh as she nods and slowly walks towards me. She takes a seat next to me on the bottom bunk. "You want to talk?" she asks, her arm coming to wrap around my body and pull mine close to hers. I shake my head 'no' once again. I could barely think about him without a blubbering mess, let alone talk about him to someone else.

My head buries into her chest as her left hand rubs small circles into my back. "I know, I know," she mutters as broken sobs erupt from my throat. I just hate him so much for leaving with Merle, but at the same time I want him here, and I want him to hold me. I want to hear him tell me he loves me.

-

I sat in that cell for the rest of the night, not bothering about dinner because I had already felt sick to my stomach. The only human interaction I have is with Casey at bedtime when she cuddles up next to me in the bottom bunk. I can't bring myself to touch the stuff Daryl had left behind, because I know I'll either break it or throw it at a wall.

Casey's eyes were heavy with sleep, and yawns erupted from her every few seconds. She didn't want to sleep on the top bunk. For the past few months, she only knew what it felt like to sleep between Daryl and me. There was always a warm body next to her, no matter what. I can't bring myself to think how last night was for her. Through a yawn, she whispers, "I miss Daryl" I let out a heavy sigh. In a way I miss him, I wish he hadn't made the choice he had made, I wish he would have considered how'd those decisioned would affect us. I wish I didn't have the burden of living the rest of my life wondering if he's alright, so I guess in a way I miss him.

Casey eventually drifted off to sleep, and I quietly slipped out of bed, hoping that everyone else had retired for the night. As I tiptoed down the stairs and into the dimly lit rec room, I noticed Glenn sitting at a table in the far-left corner. He was shrouded in almost complete darkness, with only his hoodie standing out in the dim light. His head faced down; one elbow propped up on the table to hold it up. "How you holdin' up?" I ask, breaking him from his thoughts. I can see him just and let out a tiny gasp. "shit" he mutters under his breath as his head snaps up to see me.

I laugh, a small smile breaking across my face. "sorry" I whisper, walking across the room to meet him at his table. "watcha doin' up so late?" I ask, sliding into the seat beside him. "can't sleep you?" he asks. I shrug, not knowing why I was still up. I felt like I could sleep for a good week if I really tried. "So...did Jack get booted out with the rest...or..." I ask referring to the commotion I had heard earlier that day involving rick. Glenn shakes his head "Nah, didn't wanna upset you anymore than you already were," he says, tiptoeing around the subject of Daryl.

I can't help but feel bad about Glenn and Maggie. Every time I see the black and blue bruises that decorated his face, I can't help but be reminded of who caused it. I hadn't thought about him in years. The only times I was reminded of the faded remembrance of his face were in old family portraits that were in boxes up in my mom's attic.

1992 or 3 maybe, I was three years old in the picture, mom was heavily pregnant, and dad looked so young. I never realized how young both my parents were when they had me until I looked at those photos. Mom looks maybe 19, dad had to be at least 21. He's got me on his hip, we're all pushed in close, one arm around a waist, Dad's face and I's squished together. We looked so happy.

When I saw his face out in the crowd, I was 12 years old again up in the attic, sorting through boxes, finding the dusty portraits. Wondering how he could leave us. I wasn't stupid. I remembered those last few months, the last year. I remembered the drinking, the fighting, the bruises. I remembered the broken potted plants I remembered my brother's broken arm. I just couldn't believe the man who wore such a bright smile could be so evil.

How could he hurt me, hurt my brother, hurt my mom? I feel like I'm sitting in my paternal grandmother's kitchen this time, maybe 15, listening to her blab on and on about his family. His wife, his daughter. His daughter he loved so dearly, the daughter who had replaced me. 'He just loves her so much,' she said 'No one can take away a father's love for their daughter'. I hadn't thought of him since that moment. After that, I gave up on having a dad. I gave up on waiting. I finally realized he just didn't love me, and I couldn't change that.

But yesterday, seeing him again was like a punch to the gut, and finding out that he was the one who hurt my friends that made me furious. I wanted to be the one to hunt him down. I wanted to be the one to kill him. I couldn't wait to see his face when he realized who I was and what I was going to do.

"Glenn, can I tell you something? But you can't get mad" his brows furrow, a sliver of a smile displaying on his lips as his mouth opens to say something. I'm quick to cut him off, finally revealing the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. "the governor is my dad" his eyes widen, and fear sets in quickly, terrified he'll hate me. "What?" he asks, it coming out as a half laugh as he stares at me. His eyes fall up and down my body, examining every single one of my facial features, finding everyone that even slightly resembled Philips. "Are you joking?" he asks, head cocking to the side in disbelief. I shake my head slowly, and he lets out a quiet "oh my god."

"I didn't even know this governor guy was him until I saw him. You're not mad, are you?" he shakes his head, letting my anxieties settle. "No..not mad, just...shocked, yo-you...wow."

Taglist

@rivversin @soul4death @silicone-bonez @nezukos-number1fan @jai-lovely @maziejay08 @oi-itse @rhaenryawhore @kimbunnysstuff @blipblopper @ramielll @ilyhannah @daryldixonnn @delicatebearpandaopera @daryldixmedown @duckybird101 @0-imjusthere-0 @tanuki-tsuki

[azamansource]

as a member of the official assad hair growth watch™ im pleased to see that the recent vacay pics seem to confirm he's once again letting his hair grow out. filming in a few months y/y? i hope the november rumours are true 🤞

[musicforastylesrestaurant]

Lion Cub.

series masterlist || ask me anything <3

authors note - i was in the mood to write some lioness blurbs because the new wsl seasons starts soon. 🤭 i’m not even an arsenal fan, so sometimes this pains me to write because i support there rivals chelsea, but leah’s a write smash, so it’s all good. 😫

word count - 2.9k

in which, rumours are floating around about our favourite couple and when they finally get confirmed, the whole world turns into a frenzy, and there just watching from the outside, in a or full bubble of there own.

face claim - leah williamson.

─── ⚽️⚽️ ───

January, 2023.

liked by username, username and 4,190 others.

hazzatea, Deuxmoi via instagram. Could our favourite couple finally be starting there own family?

view all comments.

username, if this is actually true then my year will be made.

username, how about we don’t make assumptions about other people’s lives?

username, amen!

username, whatever’s actually happening how about we give them some respect and just drop the subject?

username, seriously guys, even if she was pregnant we shouldn’t be the ones to announce it first.

username, this is pure entertainment for me tbh

username, pregnancy or injury it’s not our job to care.

username, watch after all this that she’s actually like torn an acl or something. 😭

username, hoping this is true. 🤞🤞

username, honestly, it’s none of our business let’s remember that people!

April, 2023.

/ /

📍the styles household, london.

In the cosy living room of your London home, you were seated on the comfortable sofa, engrossed in your phone, mindlessly scrolling through a sea of articles and social media updates. The late afternoon sun streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. Little did you know that your quiet moment of distraction would soon be interrupted.

As you focused on the screen, absorbed in the latest news and fan discussions, the door to the living room creaked open, your husband walked in with two steaming cups of coffee in his hands. His presence went unnoticed at first, as you remained lost in your digital world.

He placed the cups on the coffee table in front of you, the clink of porcelain jolting you slightly. It was only when he sat down next to you on the sofa, that you realised he was trying to get your attention.

"Coffee's ready, m’love," he said, his voice soft and warm, his green eyes filled with affection.

However, you were in a daze, still glued to your phone screen. You didn't respond to him, not even a glance in his direction. You were too wrapped up in the article that had captured your attention, a piece discussing the growing speculations about your personal lives.

Harry tried again, leaning in closer, his lips brushing your ear as he spoke, "ey, darlin’, coffee's ready."

But once again, you didn't react. It was as if the world outside your phone had ceased to exist.

Growing concerned, Harry gently reached out and plucked the phone from your hand. That action snapped you out of your reverie, and you blinked up at him, a mix of surprise and annoyance in your eyes. Your fingers instinctively reached for the phone, but it was too late. He had already read the article that had you so captivated.

He lowered the phone onto the coffee table, his gaze shifting from the screen to your face, his expression a mixture of understanding and curiosity.

"S’this why y’been so quiet?" he asked, his thumb softly stroking your cheek.

You hesitated for a moment, then nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat.

"Yeah," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "People are starting to speculate, and I... I just don't know what to do."

Harry let out a sigh, his arm encircling your shoulders as you leaned into his comforting presence. His hand instinctively found its place on your four-month-old baby bump, a reassuring touch that never failed to make you feel loved and protected.

"M’don't have t’do anything, y’know," he said gently, his thumb tracing circles on your arm. "We can just let people speculate and mind their own business."

You shrugged your shoulders, a sense of unease still gnawing at you.

"Maybe," you murmured. "But it might be best to say something, not everything, just enough to quieten down the news a bit."

Harry considered your words for a moment, his fingers softly playing with your hair.

"Yeah," he finally agreed, his tone soft and supportive. "Whatever gets them off our backs. We'll figure it out together, love."

/ /

liked by annetwist, taylorswift and 10,857 others.

harrystylesandyourinstagram, Baby Styles, 2023.

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bethmead_, this is amazing!

liked by yourinstagram

username, news of the year!

username, omfg, congratulations!!

niallhoran, big congrats my guy!

liked by harrystyles

username, he’s officially entering his dilf era and i’m here for it

username, feel like crying.

username, another celebrity pregnancy, it’s getting a bit repetitive now

viviannemiedema, a gunner baby!

liked by yourinstagram

username, i’m so happy right now!

username, so the rumours were true?

zayn, welcome to the club Haz.

liked by harrystyles

username, a baby styles, currently crying as i type this.

May, 2023.

liked by harrystyles, mbrighty04 and 594,284 others.

yourinstagram, These past years with Arsenal have meant the world to me – it's been my life, my passion, and my family. But now, as I prepare to welcome a new life into the world, it's time for a different chapter.

Taking a little break from football to focus on being a mother is both exciting and daunting, but I know it's the right choice at this moment. The support I've received from my Arsenal family has been overwhelming, and I'm immensely grateful for it.

Arsenal, you've given me memories and friendships that will last a lifetime. The Emirates Stadium, the roar of the crowd, and the iconic red and white colors will forever hold a special place in my heart. It's not goodbye; it's a 'see you soon.'

I promise, I'll be back at Arsenal before you know it, ready to wear the badge with pride and give my all on the pitch. Until then, keep cheering for our incredible team. The future is bright for both me and Arsenal, and I can't wait to share it with you all.

To all my fans and well-wishers, thank you for being a part of my journey. Your love and support mean everything to me, and I can't wait to share this new adventure with you. Stay tuned for updates, because this is just the beginning of a beautiful chapter. ❤️

tagged, arsenalwfc

view all comments.

username, so happy with the memories that you created, can’t wait to see you back out there!

username, good luck!

arsenalwfc, thank you for everything, skipper!

liked by yourinstagram.

username, and to think she lied this whole time, why not just say your pregnant instead of fans worrying that your injured…

username, can’t wait to see you get back on that field!

katie_mccabe11, see you soon!

username, we honestly all deserve better than getting fed false information.

username, I used to admire her so much

username, you and harry are going to make the cutest parents ever!

liked by harrystyles.

ellatoone, this is so exciting, good luck!

username, the truth was getting closer to coming out and they both caved under the pressure 🤷‍♀️

username, ignore all the haters, they’ve got nothing better to do than be keyboard warriors!

lionesses, ❤️❤️

liked by yourinstagram.

June, 2023.

📍oxford street, london.

You slip your hand into Harry's, fingers intertwining comfortably as the two of you approach the quaint baby shop on a sunny Saturday afternoon. You're wearing one of your husband's oversized hoodies, and it envelops you like a warm hug. The soft fabric brushes against your growing baby bump, making you smile as you feel the reassuring presence of your little one.

Harry squeezes your hand gently and smiles down at you, his eyes filled with excitement.

"Ready f’a bit of baby shopping, m’love?" he asks, his voice filled with anticipation.

You nod, a contented sigh escaping your lips. "Absolutely, H. It's finally sinking in, isn't it? We're going to be parents."

He chuckles warmly, giving your hand another gentle squeeze. "It sure is. And I can't wait."

Together, you step inside the baby shop, greeted by an array of pastel colours and adorable baby clothes. The scent of freshly laundered fabrics and the soft lullabies playing in the background create a serene atmosphere. You both exchange glances, your hearts filled with a sense of wonder.

Harry's eyes light up as he spots a display of tiny baby shoes. He bends down to pick up a pair, holding them up for you to see. "Look at these, m’love! Aren't they cute?"

You smile, nodding in agreement. "They're adorable, H. But we still don't know if it's a boy or a girl."

He grins mischievously. "S’the fun part, isn't it? We get t’imagine everything, no matter what."

You laugh softly and begin browsing the baby clothes section. Each tiny outfit seems more charming than the last. You hold up a tiny onesie featuring a little elephant design and show it to Harry. "What do you think of this one?"

Harry's eyes soften as he looks at the onesie. "S’perfect, love. But let's keep exploring. We ‘ave all the time in t’world t’choose."

As you continue wandering through the shop, you chat about nursery ideas and baby names, sharing dreams and hopes for the little one on the way. Harry's face lights up with every discussion, and you can see the excitement in his eyes.

Eventually, you find yourselves in the section with baby books. Harry picks up a children's storybook, and he starts reading aloud from it. His voice is soothing, and you can't help but imagine him reading bedtime stories to your future child.

With a heartfelt smile, you rest your head on his shoulder and whisper, "I can't wait for all these moments, Harry."

He places a gentle kiss on your forehead and says, "Me neither, m’sun. S’going t’be the most incredible journey."

You continue to explore the baby shop with Harry, your hands still firmly intertwined. The adorable baby outfits, soft blankets, and tiny booties are a sight to behold. You're both drawn to a display of plush toys, and Harry playfully picks up a stuffed bunny, making it dance in the air.

He looks at you with a grin. "What do y’think, m’love? Should we get this f’our little one? It looks like a good dancing partner."

You laugh, the sound filling the shop with warmth. "I think our baby would love that bunny. It's got your sense of humour."

Harry pretends to hold a conversation between the bunny and himself, making you giggle even more. "Well, little one, s’settled then. Y’getting a dancing bunny!"

As you move deeper into the shop, you find a display of cribs and baby furniture. Harry's eyes light up as he examines each one, carefully running his hand over the smooth wood.

"I can't believe we're going t’have a little crib like this soon," he says softly.

You stand beside him, resting a hand on your belly. "It's all becoming so real, isn't it? I can already picture our baby sleeping peacefully here."

He leans down and places a gentle kiss on your cheek. "I love you, and I love our little family."

Touched by his words, you hug him tightly. "I love you too, H. We're going to be amazing parents."

After a bit more browsing, you finally decide on a few baby essentials – a neutral-coloured crib, some soft blankets, and a collection of onesies. As you approach the checkout counter, Harry takes your hand in his once more, his thumb gently tracing patterns on your knuckles.

The shop assistant smiles warmly as she rings up your purchases. "Congratulations on the upcoming addition to your family. It's such a special time."

You thank her with a grateful smile, and as you and Harry exit the shop, you can't help but feel a profound sense of joy and excitement.

August, 2023.

liked by username, username and 10,942 others.

harryupdates, Harry spotted arriving at a hospital in London today!

tagged, harrystyles

view all comments.

username, is the baby finally coming?

username, i can’t wait to see the baby styles!

username, hope everything alright, isn’t she not due for like another two months?

username, why can’t people just leave them alone? this is ridiculous!

username, look at his face, he looks so stressed, like just go away!

username, one step closer to harry becoming a dilf!

username, my hearts hurting, everything better be okay

username, they should be able to experience this moment just the two of them, not with cameras flashing everywhere around them!!!

username, the world is about to end!

username, ⚠️don’t click on my story!⚠️

username, oh piss off!

/ /

📍 the royal london hospital, london.

⏱️ 10:36am.

Laying on the sterile, cold operating table, you couldn't escape the overwhelming sense of vulnerability as your body lay exposed to the sterile environment. The air in the room felt chilled, and your trembling body seemed to amplify the anxiety coursing through you. Harry sat beside you, his fingers intertwined with yours, his face etched with worry as he witnessed your anguish.

The surgical team bustled around you, their masks and gowns obscuring their expressions, but their efficiency was evident. You could feel the coolness of the surgical drapes against your skin as they prepped the area. The antiseptic scent hung in the air, a reminder of the gravity of the situation.

As the surgeon began the procedure, you felt a strange combination of sensations—a tugging, a pressure, and the constant awareness of their hands within you. The room seemed to spin, and you struggled to focus on anything but the ache in your chest and the numbing sensation creeping upward from your lower body.

You turned to Harry, your voice trembling as you voiced your deepest fear. "Harry, if anything goes wrong..."

He leaned in close, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice soft but resolute. "M’Love, v’got the best team ‘ere, and y’the strongest person I know. We're going t’get through this, all three of us."

His words were a lifeline in the storm of uncertainty, and you clung to them, trying to push away the doubts that threatened to engulf you.

Minutes felt like hours, and you couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness as the surgical team worked diligently around you. You focused on Harry's presence beside you, his grip on your hand unwavering, the touch of his thumb brushing soothing circles against your skin.

When the operation reached its tenth minute, the room was filled with an eerie silence, broken only by the rhythmic beeping of machines. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you squeezed Harry's hand tighter, your voice trembling as you spoke, "Harry, please..."

Before you could finish, a sudden change in the atmosphere broke the tension—a newborn's cries filled the room, a sound so sweet and pure it brought tears to your eyes. You gasped, and Harry's eyes widened with relief and joy.

The anesthesiologist asked another doctor to lower the curtain, and as the room held its collective breath, the words finally came—a pronouncement that would change your lives forever.

"It's a boy."

Your eyes filled with tears of joy, and Harry leaned down to kiss your forehead, his voice quivering with emotion as he whispered, "Our son, m’love. Our beautiful son."

⏱️ 14:12pm.

Later in the afternoon, the soft glow of the setting sun filtered through the curtains of your hospital room, casting a warm, comforting light. You lay in the hospital bed, feeling tired and sore from the earlier surgery, but the pain was a distant thought as you gazed at the sight that brought you immeasurable joy.

Harry sat in the chair beside your bed, his shirt off, his bare chest cradling your sleeping son against his skin. It was a tender moment of skin-to-skin contact, a precious bonding experience that filled your heart with love.

Your newborn son lay contentedly on Harry's chest, his tiny fingers curled around his father's. Harry's eyes were fixed on the baby's peaceful face, his expression a mix of awe and wonder, and a proud smile curved his lips.

" ‘Ey there, little one," Harry whispered, his voice a soft, soothing murmur that only your son could hear. "Y’have no idea how much y’mum and I love y’already. V’been waiting f’y’f’so long, and now that y’here, s’like a dream come true."

Tears of joy welled up in your eyes as you listened to Harry pour his heart out to your son seeing as you were very hormonal. It was a beautiful moment, a glimpse into the incredible father he would be.

"Y’got a whole world of adventures waiting f’y’little buddy," Harry continued, his voice filled with tenderness. "We'll teach y’about music and art, and I promise t’read y’bedtime stories every night. We'll go on hikes, explore new places, and we'll always have y’back."

Harry's hand gently brushed your son's delicate cheek, and the baby let out a soft sigh, as though he could feel the warmth and love radiating from his father.

"We'll be there f’y’first steps, y’first words, and every moment that follows," Harry whispered, his eyes shimmering with emotion. "Y’our greatest gift, and we'll cherish y’every day of our lives."

As you marveled at your little family, a gentle knock sounded through the door, and then it creaked open. In walked Anne, Harry's mum, and Gemma, his sister, holding a bouquet of colorful flowers and a "Congratulations" balloon.

"Can we come in?" Anne asked, her eyes filled with warmth and excitement.

You nodded your head, feeling a rush of gratitude for the family that had come to celebrate this special moment with you.

Anne and Gemma approached the bed, their smiles radiant.

"Oh, Harry, look at him," Anne cooed as she reached out to gently stroke the baby's cheek.

Gemma held up the balloon, a playful grin on her face. "Congratulations, you two! He's absolutely perfect."

Harry beamed at his mum and sister, pride and love evident in his eyes. "Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Gem. We couldn't be happier."

Anne leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. "You did wonderfully, dear. And H, you're going to be an amazing father."

Tears welled up in your eyes at her kind words, and you looked at Harry, whose eyes were now shimmering with emotion. "We're so grateful to have all of you here with us."

Anne and Gemma took turns holding the baby, their voices filled with affection as they cooed and chatted with the tiny newcomer. The room was filled with laughter and love, and it felt like the perfect beginning to your family's journey.

/ /

September, 2023.

liked by kendalljenner, jefezoff 20,561,319 others.

harrystylesandyourinstagram, One month of loving you, angel boy.

Bowie Harry-Robin Styles.

view all comments.

username, the name, im in tears🥹

lucybronze, a rising star right there!

liked by yourinstagram and harrystyles.

username, congratulations!

username, they had him a month ago? a whole month?

louist91, congrats h! he’s a legend in the making!

liked by harrystyles.

username, dilfrry has entered the chat.

username, he’s got harry’s hair. 😫

username, I get that your private people but just one photo of his face would make us all happy!

username, respect there privacy, he’s a newborn baby!

username, there’s creeps out there, and he’s a baby, give them a break!

username, so happy!

username, someone tell me why i’m crying.

annetwist, the most perfect boy.

yourinstagram, ❤️❤️

/ /

📍 the styles household, london.

It was around 2 in the morning when the sweet sound of your son's cries filled the room. You and Harry stirred in your sleep, but it was Harry who gently untangled himself from the sheets, his warm arms slipping away from your waist.

With a soft, sleepy smile, Harry planted a kiss on your forehead before whispering, "I'll go get him, m’sun."

You nodded, grateful that he could handle this round of late-night parenting, given your ongoing recovery from the surgery. It had only been four weeks, and while you were slowly regaining your strength, certain tasks were still a bit challenging.

Harry padded over to the crib that sat on his side of the bed, where little Bowie was kicking his tiny legs and reaching out his arms in search of comfort. Harry's heart swelled as he scooped up his son, cradling him in his strong, loving arms.

" ‘ey there, lil’man," Harry cooed, his voice a gentle murmur that instantly calmed Bowie's cries. "S’got y’all worked up, hm?"

Bowie's wide eyes gazed up at his dad, and his tiny fingers reached out to grab onto Harry's finger. It was a sight that melted Harry's heart every time.

Harry carefully carried Bowie over to the changing table tucked in the corner of the room. The room was dimly lit, with only a soft nightlight casting a warm glow, creating an atmosphere of tranquility.

Gently laying Bowie down, Harry began the task of changing his nappy with a tenderness that only a loving father could provide. He unfastened the nappy with practiced ease, revealing the tiny, wriggling legs beneath. As he lifted Bowie's legs, he couldn't help but shower the baby with soft kisses on his chubby thighs, eliciting delighted gurgles from the little one.

With great care, Harry used a baby wipe to cleanse the delicate skin, his movements unhurried and full of affection. He whispered soothing words and made funny faces to keep Bowie entertained, ensuring the nappy change was not just a task but a moment of connection between father and son.

Once Bowie was clean and dry, Harry reached for a fresh nappy and smoothly slid it underneath. He fastened the nappy with gentle precision, making sure it was snug yet comfortable for his precious son.

"All done, Bowie," Harry whispered with a grin, his fingers playfully tracing little circles on the baby's tummy. "Y’such a champ during nappy changes."

Bowie's cries had turned into happy coos and giggles by the time Harry scooped him up, carrying him back to the bed. As you watched your husband cradle your son, a deep sense of love and gratitude filled your heart.

In that quiet, intimate moment in the middle of the night, you realized that this was the magic of parenthood—the late-night wake-up calls, the nappy changes, the sleepy smiles, and the unbreakable bond between the three of you. It was messy, tiring, and utterly beautiful all at once.

/ /

October, 2023.

liked by username, username and 2,371 others.

hazzatea, Harry and (Y/N) spotted at the first Arsenal game of the season today with Baby Bowie.

view all comments.

username, even in paparazzi photos they can cover his face, best parents ever!

username, starting them young!

username, i bet it pains harry sometimes that his wife’s an Arsenal player and not a Manchester United player. 😭

username, 100%

username, this way too adorable,

username, i shouldn’t be getting baby fever at 15!

username, can’t believe they brought a baby to a football match that’s barely a month old…

username, he literally has noise cancelling headphones on. 🤷‍♀️

username, you can see that he has Harry’s curls.

username, his little Arsenal shirt.

username, it’s a football game not a daycare!

username, 🖕🖕

liked by gemmastyles, arsenalwfc and 431,752 others

yourinstagram, first Arsenal game of the season, COYG!

tagged, arsenalwfc.

view all comments.

username, bubba in a gunners shirt. 🥹

username, viv!

username, she always makes everyone laugh, she’s never serious!

username, i was there, dammit!

username, that selfie of you and Harry!

caitlinfoord, my awkward smile. love ya!

yourinstagram, 😘

username, Harry’s smile, his hair, his dimples, uhhhhh

username, I want a private box at the emirates.

gemmastyles, wish I could have been there for bodies first game!

yourinstagram, we missed you!

username, don’t click on my story!

username, I earned £10,000 just by walking!

username, you need to post more photos of you and Harry!

yourinstagram, I agree, we just don’t have the time anymore. 😭

username, she replied, the queen replied!

username, I’ve got a season ticket if I see you there I think I’ll cry

username, Bowie looks so big!

/ /

harrystyles via instagram stories.

/ /

liked by alessiarusso99, zayn and 1,285,418 others.

yourinstagram, a little photo dump from the last couple of weeks, enjoy!

went on my first bike ride since giving birth and crashed the bike into a fence…

went out for some drinks with a few friends for the first time since bowie made his entrance,

H trying to keep me entertained during the night feeds,

First walk in the pram, and i totally didn’t cry,

McDonald’s is all we’ve lived off recently, having a baby means no time to cook,

Scrabble has become the new norm whilst bubba naps,

My view in the car for the foreseeable future…

Having the time of my life meeting all of youse at Meadow Park, it was great to see you all!

Getting in as many cuddles with our angel baby before he’s old enough to say ‘mum, give me space!’

Harry sleeping on the floor during the day, simply because the photo always makes me laugh.

tagged, harrystyles, arsenalwfc.

view all comments.

username, Harry whipping out the dad jokes will never not make me laugh

username, not you crashing the bike😭

harrystyles, scrabble and snuggles, always the perfect combo

yourinstagram, ❤️

username, seeing your smile with the fans makes me smile!

username, Bowie actually had the best parents 😫

username, not Harry sleeping on the floor

username, pissing myself rn

taylorswift, i need to come round for snuggles like rn

username, McDonald’s is the perfect post partum food like no joke

username, how do you look that good after giving birth?

/ /

[lemotmo]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemotmo/758820475152547840/some-ppl-think-ppl-need-starter-relationships-ig

Omg this this this

It made me so mad when everyone was like Buck NEEDS to date Tommy first before he dates Eddie so he can be ready.

Like why? Why does he NEED to do that?

Like we won’t even get started on how it was them all saying *only* Buck needed to, never was it mentioned how Eddie should or needed to date someone else first (until now of course when once again buddie is close to happening and suddenly they need a new reason to move the goal post)

but it’s legitimately like why?

Why can’t Buck and Eddie have had their realizations about each other and only each other and then figured things out together as they went. It’s not like it would be hard to sell? They have legit years worth of history behind them for it. It would have been an even playing field of neither knowing what they are doing but putting in the work and effort to figure it out and grow together as they have all these firsts.

People do it all the time in relationships every single day. Like it’s not some new hit craze taking the dating world by storm. And people acting like it is, is like this anon said, honestly a little insulting to people. Like part of me just wants to say to them like just admit they only say they ship buddie because they think it’s the cool thing to do and will get them likes and reblogs but really they don’t have any desire for it hence why they keep finding ways to drag it out forever.

#endrant😤😤😤😂😂😂😂😂

Yes to all of this Nonny. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I never wanted Buck to date anyone either before Eddie.

I always loved the idea of them just finally finding each other after they both got out of failed relationships again.

Let's just hope they'll finally see the light in season 8. 🤞🤞🤞

[romanestuffsposts]

Hi! If you have the time, could write one where Stuckys little has to have her wisdom teeth removed. I just went in to have mine done now everything hurts. Thank you for how consistently you post, it helps a lot.

Hi there love!

I hope you're fine after that experience, I'm so scared to have them removed- like really scared. I hope I won't have to 🤞

I really try to post whenever I can do it, I hate making you wait! I’m so glad it help you, love. That’s why I started this blog ❤️

****

Warnings : angst little reader, caring daddies, dentists, teeth removed, cries, cuddles, fluff

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : you were scared to have your wisdom teeth removed and your daddies reassure you before and take care of you afterwards ❤️

****

‘’It’s okay, princess’’ your Papa says as he slides his fingers down your hair ‘’it’s scary, we know that. But it’s really important. You know we won’t make you go through that if it wasn’t important, sweetie’’ he tries to reassure you as the tears keep falling down your cheeks.

You whine and you shake your head ‘´no papa pwease’’ you cry ‘’It hut, I don wanna’’ you hold tighter your Daddy, hoping to disappear in his body so you’ll miss your appointment.

You hear your Papa sighs and feel your Daddy's hands slowly caressing your back up and down as you cry in his neck. It really scares you, you hate hospitals and you hate doctors, except Bruce. But of course he isn't here when you need him so your Daddies are taking you in another dentist center

And you're scared because you don't know anyone there and you're scared to be in pain. You know it'll hurt, and you don't want it

"baby" you hear your Daddy saying. You sniff and slowly pull your head away from his neck. You look up at him and see his soft eyes looking down at you. He strokes your cheeks, trying to comfort you and drying them at the same time.

"You're right," he says "it's really scary, I would be scared too if I was in your situation" he says causing Steve to glare at him "but, you have two Daddies here," he points at Steve and himself "who will be holding your hands the whole time and who'll comfort you for at least two years after you make it through the little surgery"

You sniff and look at your Papa "it true ?" you ask him and he nods "of course it's the truth, honey. We'll take care of you the whole time during and after, you'll be perfectly fine, we'll make sure of that"

"and after, when you'll feel better and when you'll be able too, we'll take you out, we'll go eating ice creams and we'll go to the parc, we'll do everything you want" your Daddy says, sliding his hands down your back again

You sniff and even though you don't want, you still nod. Maybe it'll worth it. If you do it and if you have what your Daddies had promised you, then maybe it worth it.

Your Daddy smiles down at you and kisses your forehead "thank you, beautiful" he says against it "you're so strong"

He turns you around and presses your back against his chest "now let your Papa puts your shoes on for you, little one" he whispers in your ears. You let yourself falling against him and he lifts your shirt and starts to stroke it to help you calm down.

He can feel your left over of sobs

Your Papa checks one last time on you before taking your sockets and shoes in his hands. He grabs one of your foot and slides the socket on it, until it reaches your ankle. He then slides your shoe on your foot and gently puts it back down

He does the same with your other foot and when he's done, he taps his hands on the top of your shoes "all done" he winks and you let a tiny smile growing under your still sad face.

You watch your Papa standing up and then feel your Daddy standing up with you too. He rests you on your feet and grabs a hold of your hand before starting to make your way to the car.

The more you walk, the more you feel less relax and more scared. You're really scared to go at this appointement and even if the words of your Daddies felt good earlier, it doesn't feel real as you reach the car.

He opens the door and helps you climbing in it. As he reaches for the belt, he sees your chest moving weirdly so he looks up and sees you silently cry on your seat.

His eyes soften in one moment and he's quick to climb on the seat beside you. He wraps his arms around you and shushes you "you'll be okay, baby." he quietly says

Steve peers through the mirror, he understands that Bucky got you and if he doesn't drive now, you'll be late. Bucky feels Steve's eyes on you so he locks eyes with him through the mirror and nods, giving him a reassuring look.

You feel the car moving and you instantly panic more. Your Daddy's arms tighten around you so you'll only feel him and not other things "breath, baby" he whispers "we're here and we'll never carry you to a place were you'll be in danger" he reassures you

You nod and take a few breath at the same time as him and slowly relax against his chest. Even if you still feel the pain in your body from the fear, you feel safe in your Daddy's arms, in your Daddies's car. For now.

When you feel the car stop, you pull away from your Daddy and look through the window. Your eyes widen in amaze as you gaze the giant tooth who's above the door. It had a huge smile and the most white teeth you've ever seen. The toothbrush against his teeth is your favorite colour which make you relax a bit more.

You feel your Daddy close behind you "it doesn't seem bad, does it ?" he asks drawing patterns on your back. You shake your head and your Papa leaves the car to open your door. He takes your hand in his and starts walking toward the door as you still gaze the tooth.

You pulled his hand, calling him "is my teeth has little teeth like him ?" you ask pointing at the giant tooth. Your Papa follows your gaze and chuckles

"Yes, little one" he kneels before you "each one of your tooth has little teeth in their mouth. That's why you have to be careful with them. If you eat too much sugar then it stay trap in, not only yours but their teeth too. And at that point it's really hard to clean everything"

Your eyes widen more and a shock look is showing on your face "no more sugar then" you say and he shakes your head "no" you drop your gaze at him "you can have sugar, and you will. What Papa can I be if I don't let my baby eating sugar ? Every little baby needs sugar and when they're good, they have sugar. But under our watch and without excess"

You smile and nod "okay! Lots of sugar under Daddies watch" you say and he drops his head chuckling. Your Daddy starts to laugh behind your Papa which make you giggle. You don't know why they're laughing but you want to laugh with them. Maybe you were funny so why not ?

Your Daddy walks toward you and takes you in his arms "really good, baby" he says as he rests you on his hip "you understood perfectly well what Papa tried to taugh you" he smirks looking down at Steve who glares up at him.

"If she has a tummyache because she ate too much sugar, because of you" he points at Bucky "it'll be your fault and you'll clean up if she gets sick" he warns as they start to walk toward the door again.

"Oh but my little baby is a good girl" he peers down at you, causing you to look up at him "she knows better" he winks at you and you giggle again while Steve rolls his eyes with a grin

~

It's been thirty minutes now that you wait in the room. At first you stayed close to your Daddies but you eventually got bored so you played a little with the toys before you. Then you missed your Daddies so you came back to them. You stay a little on your Papa's laps as he rocks you from side to side and caresses your arms and legs. Then you would go to your Daddy who whispers sweet nothings in your ears to relax you and draws paterns on your back as he asks you what he drawed.

You felt good, that until the door open and you feel your Daddies standing up. You were back on Steve's laps when that happen so you quickly wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. You hid your face in his neck and shake your head "don wanna" you whine "pwease, i wanna go home"

He caresses your back as he walks "I know, princess" he whispers painfully. He hates seeing you like this and that he isn't able to do anything to help you get better "it'll be quick, I promise"

And with that, they walk inside the room and sat on chairs who are around a desk. "What can I do for you today ?" the dentist asks as she sats on her seat

"Our girl here need to have her wisdom teeth removed" Your Papa says pointing down at you. You gaze up at him unsure.

"Perfect" she smiles "you can come with me and sit here while I get everything ready"

~

"How are you doing, babygirl ?" your Daddy asks as he kisses your temple. You whine and try to talk but it's really hard because it hurts.

"it's okay, little one" he shushes you "don't try to talk, i'm sorry Daddy asked you something" he whispers against your head. "do you want ice on your cheeks ?"

You nod and your Daddy slowly pulls himself away from you and walk toward the kitchen. You look at your Papa who was already looking at you, his eyes soften when he sees your swollen face and he opens his arms "come to me, sweetie"

You crawl toward him and curl your little body in his laps, between his arms "you'll feel better in a couple days, baby" he reassures you "we'll make sure you're better the faster"

You nod and feel the couch moving so you look toward you "here, baby" your Daddy says, he rests the ice who's wrap around a towel against your cheek and do the same against the other

You wince a little in pain from the sudden contact but you can already feel your pain getting better. "what our precious princess want to do to be better ?" your Papa asks as he strokes your back

You look up at him and hope that he understands by your eyes what you want "she can't talk, Steve. It hurts too much" your Daddy reminds your Papa as he strokes your feet and legs.

"Right, do you want to watch tv ?" he asks and you shake your head

"do you want to spend time with your dolls ?"

You shake your head

"do you want us to read you a story ?" Your eyes sparkle and you nod. He smiles down at you and removes your hair from your face "do you want to stay here or go in our bed ?"

You nod your head when he asks if you want to go upstairs. "We'll go upstairs then, sweetness. And we'll cuddle as we read you a story. Would you like that ?" he asks and you nod again

Your Daddy stands up and goes upstairs to chose a book you love while your Papa is walking to the bedroom to get you all comfy in the king size bed. He gently lies you down and kisses your forehead "are you comfy, baby ?" you nod your head and feel the bed moving as your Papa is coming inside, beside you.

He wraps the blanket around you and wraps his arms around your body and starts to stroke your bare belly, knowing how much you love it and how much it calms you down.

Your Daddy comes back in the room with three of your favorites books. He rests two of them on the nightstand and comes inside the blanket on the other side of you. You immediatly feel warm, even with the ices against your cheeks.

He takes the book "are you ready, beautiful ?"

~

During the next days, you spend all your times with your Daddies. After three days you were able to eat easier than before. You had to eat liquid things before that. And your Daddies couldn't stop telling you how proud they were of you.

They cuddled you as much as you wanted, which means all the times. They kissed you, they caressed you each time you asked them. You had your ice cream and you went to the parc like you wanted, a few weeks after the appointement.

Now you feel better and it's because of you Daddies <3

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

Part 7 of Vegas AU!! It's so long but I'm so excited for you all to meet Charlie!! This is my first ever OC character I hope I did them justice 🤞 and apologies for being late it's Neil Gaiman's fault. I did have my weekend of editing planned out until he ripped out my heart and stomped on it so I spent last weekend as a burrito instead, sorry.

Part 1 -- Part 2 -- Part 3 -- Part 4 -- Part 5 -- Part 6

Eddie insisted they drop the car off at the hotel and walk to the parlour instead. Not that Steve minded, Eddie had assured them it wasn't far and although the streets were busy, the night air was cool and with Eddie by his side everything seemed kinda magical; almost like anything was possible.

Robin was already back to her usual self, chattering away with Chrissy. He couldn't hear what they were talking about precisely, but it was happy chatter filled with gasps and laughter, so he figured it wasn't for him to worry about. Chris was more than refreshed from her nap and seemed pretty relaxed again as she practically dragged Robin giddily down the sidewalk, fingers entwined and arms swinging adorably.

Steve couldn't help but smile at them, and Eddie seemed equally endeared, grinning fondly as he linked his pinkie with Steve's as they strolled along after their best friends. A street performer was playing a gentle tune on an acoustic guitar, the shop lights were casting a warm glow over the street and the scent of Italian spices were floating out of one of the restaurants as they passed by, all leading to this romantic air that felt more like Paris than Vegas.

The bubble was quickly broken by a group of dudes across the street heading in the opposite direction, whooping and hollering a chorus of "Vegas!" Eddie snorted derisively at the display, making Steve giggle. God, as if I was one of them! The jocks hadn’t seemed to have received the memo to grow the hell up, somehow still stuck in the delusion that because they were someone in high school that the world owed them a favour.

Steve had a feeling Eddie would’ve despised him in high school, and quite right, too. Nothing about Eddie screamed ex-jock, in fact Steve would put money on him being anything but. Not that he was sure what he could've been precisely. A band geek, maybe? Eddie knew a lot about instruments, chatted easily with Robin when she'd brought it up, but hadn't mentioned being in marching band himself.

Steve supposed he could’ve been a nerd, he knew Eddie was crazy smart, he easily kept up with other people even when Steve himself got entirely lost. And Steve could so easily picture it too, Eddie with cropped curls, big glasses and a bow tie. It was an adorable picture, but unlikely. No, Steve swinging closer to him being a theatre kid, especially given his and Chrissy's little display in the desert. Either that or maybe he'd been on the debate team, knowing a lot about everything and impassioned speeches were something they were good at.

He was distracted from his spiralling thoughts when Eddie bumped his shoulder playfully, "Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" Eddie asked.

Steve glanced over, enjoying the sparkle in his eyes and the gentle smile gracing his face, "Who you were in high school. I'm torn between theatre or debate club?" Steve said softly, because the more he thought about it the more he swung towards theatre, but he hoped he wasn't way off, he didn't want to insult him.

Eddie let out a self-deprecating sigh, his expression shuttering, "Couldn't be more wrong, I'm afraid. I did help with staging a couple times, but I was- uh- well, I wasn't exactly liked in high school," Eddie admitted forlornly.

Steve's internal panic fell quickly from shit I've insulted him to huh? "Really?" Steve asked disbelievingly. Because surely not! Who wouldn't like Eddie?

"Yeah, nah, I was just the school freak. Eddie "The Freak" Munson. That was me for five years," Eddie muttered at the floor, like he was ashamed, like that was anything close to who he was.

Steve felt anger rise up his throat, the urge to protect Eddie putting his shackles up. He desperately wanted to go back to that time and place and make anyone who wanted to call Eddie that say it to his face, make his King Steve persona useful for something, make them apologise and grovel for ever making Eddie feel like he was anything less than the incredible man he was. 

Steve stopped in his tracks to breathe through the sudden fury sitting in his chest. Chrissy and Robin were already waiting for them at the end of the street, a few more minutes wouldn't hurt. Eddie had stopped a pace or two away, still staring at the ground, still feeling the pain and humiliation those bastards had put him through for five years. But it was as though the rest of the world had melted away as Steve dragged Eddie to him by the hand, lifting his chin with gentle fingers and cupping his face; feeling simultaneously like he was holding something as exquisite as a butterfly and as substantial as the whole damn world.

"Eddie," Steve spoke softly, waiting for Eddie to look at him instead of over his shoulder, "Baby. That's not who you are! I didn't know you then, but I guarantee that's never been you! You are so much more than those small-minded, dickless, hopeless nobodies could ever even hope to comprehend! You're Eddie Munson! You're amazing!" Steve told him fiercely.

And if Steve wasn't in love before, seeing the adorable shade of crimson Eddie had gone and the bashful smile affixed to his face made Steve want to reach into his chest, pull out his beating heart and place it into Eddie's precious hands.

Their moment was quickly interrupted by his best friend, "Oi! Dingus and Dorkus!" Robin yelled from the corner, drawing both of their attention, "Less romancing, more moving, we haven't got all day!" she called, only half joking.

Eddie’s grin turned mischievous as he grabbed one of Steve's hands that were still dangling in mid-air and pulled him into a run to catch up with the girls, laughing like a little kid the whole way. Robin rolled her eyes as he and Eddie scampered passed them, dashing further down the road and skidding to a halt outside an inconspicuous shopfront; Chrissy and Robin skipping leisurely after them.

The four of them gathered on the pavement outside of Clarke's, it was a pretty indistinct store, only distinguishable from the surrounding shops in that the windows were covered with white film and the name was written calligraphy style, black lettering on a plain white background. 

Eddie and Chris shared a look Steve couldn't quite decipher before Eddie took him by the hand and dragged him through the front door. The bell that jingled as they entered had barely finished tinkling before the person behind the counter came flying at them, "Eddieeee!" they exclaimed, throwing themselves into Eddie's open arms. 

Steve could only stand there gawking at whoever the hell had just thrown themselves at his husband; trying desperately to push down the irritation he felt prickling his skin as they held Eddie longer than was strictly friendly. It didn’t help that they were gorgeous, tall and slim with an awesome purple mohawk, dressed casually in Converse, daisy dukes and a tie-dye vest that had “they/them” tagged all over it. And it really didn’t help that they were covered in tattoos, not just a few like Eddie, they probably had hundreds, every inch of skin he could see was covered in a multitude of different coloured inks.

Eddie had caught them easily and had wrapped them tightly in his arms, exclaiming, "Charlieeeeeeee! How're you?" he asked, squeezing Charlie tighter.

Steve wasn't jealous, he wasn't. That clawing, gnawing, burning sensation in his chest was just from fast food and a short burst of exercise. Steve tried to avert his eyes as Charlie pulled back, cupping Eddie's jaw in the same way Steve had just done to him not five minutes before, and he felt more than saw Robin reach for his hand, letting her touch soothe him.

"I'm good, I'm good, but how are you?” Charlie asked, tucking a piece of Eddie’s hair behind his ear, “Jeff said I might see you," they added, tilting their head with genuine concern. 

And the thing was, Charlie seemed lovely, very compassionate and very concerned. Steve really was trying his hardest not to hate them, but he couldn't help feeling the desire to put himself in between them. To take Charlie's hands off of Eddie because it felt like someone had walked into his house and had started randomly touching his stuff; because Eddie felt like his and as much as he was trying to swallow that feeling down into the depths where it belonged, he could feel his hands unintentionally clenching, squeezing Robin’s hand tightly. He could feel his spine straightening and his shoulders squaring, like he'd come up against a bear instead of someone Eddie knew, and Steve had to consciously roll his shoulders, trying desperately to fight the overreaction.

Eddie didn't say anything in reply, but something on his face must draw Charlie's attention away from Eddie and to the group at large because Charlie let go of Eddie altogether and looked over at the girls, grinning fondly at Chris when he caught her eye. Then Charlie looked over at Steve, eyeing him like a cat, sizing him up before Charlie's smile turned a little lecherous, "Oh, but you got right back on the horse, didn't you?” Charlie said to Eddie approvingly, “Who's this pretty thing?” they asked, coming towards Steve, hands outstretched like a kid in a toy shop about to start picking up all the dolls.

Except Eddie stepped quickly into Steve's space, batting Charlie's hands away, "Hands off my husband, Kohl!" Eddie didn't sound mean per se, but there was a definite warning in his tone. Oh! That's hot!

Charlie baulked, eyes going wide in disbelief, "Your husband?!"

Eddie nodded decisively, "My husband," he confirmed. Charlie's face went through a multitude of expressions before settling on something that looked almost like pride. It seemed to spur Eddie on, he preened and wrapped an arm around Steve's waist, physically pulling him into their conversation, "Stevie, Sweetheart, my cousin, Charlie Clarke. Char, this is my better half, Steve Harrington," Eddie introduced.

Steve’s brain was short-circuiting. Eddie’s cousin, he’d been possessive over his cousin hugging him! God, I’m too tired for this. Luckily for Steve, autopilot took over, his stiff upbringing coming in handy for something as he shook Charlie's hand cordially, but he'd apparently married into a family of huggers because the two cousins laughed as Charlie threw their arms around Steve’s shoulders, squeezing him tight. 

It'd been a while since Steve had felt so fucking stupid, in reality he had no right to be possessive over anything Eddie did, they were only technically married after all and just because they were continuing to have fun didn’t mean that he had a right to overreact like that. 

Yet at the same time he couldn’t control that buoyant feeling, realising Eddie had chosen to introduce him to his family when he could’ve called Charlie and asked for a recommendation for Robin, or just taken her to any parlour on the strip, but Eddie had chosen to bring them to family. To his cousin who was proud of Eddie, and accepting of the fact that Eddie had got married, hadn’t even asked for details just threw their arms around Steve like he was one of them now. And god did it feel good to be introduced to someone as not only Eddie's husband but his better half. Which given half a chance was a title Steve'd happily wear proudly for the rest of his life.

A vision of them having a reception, Eddie walking him around the room introducing Steve as his husband to all his relatives, Steve doing the same with Eddie, popped unbidden into Steve's mind. Oh, Christ! I absolutely cannot think about that!

Releasing Steve with a genuine smile and patting Eddie affectionately on the cheek, Charlie chortled, "Well, he couldn't be your worse half could he!" they teased.

Eddie rolled his eyes playfully, nudging Steve with his elbow bringing him in on the joke, "Kohl's still bitter about being replaced," he taunted, winking at Steve conspiratorially.

Charlie scoffed, "I think you'll find, I replaced you with Vegas!" they jibed, making Eddie laugh heartily. Feigning pushing Charlie away as they kissed Eddie affectionately on the forehead, before wandering off to wrap Chris in a hug, "Chris! How're you, kitten?"

Chrissy beamed at Charlie, kissing them on the cheek, "I'm good, darling, I'm having the best time!" she told Charlie realising them and tugging Robin closer by the hand, "This is Robin, she'd like something done if you've got the time?" Chrissy asked so sweetly, Steve wondered how anyone could ever say no to her.

Charlie puffed out a breath in mock consideration, "For my favourite girl's girl?" they asked, rubbing their chin and looking Robin up and down, quickly caving from the facade, "I've got all the time in the world," Charlie added, already flipping the sign on the door from Open to Closed, flicking the lock, "Come on out back, tell me everything!" they said as the girls followed Charlie behind the counter through the open door into the backroom; Chrissy chatting away about their day, leaving Steve and Eddie truly alone for the first time since that morning.

Steve suddenly felt nauseous, he wasn’t sure whether it was the butterflies that’d suddenly sprung to life in his stomach or the worry that maybe somehow Eddie had sensed his reaction to Charlie, that maybe he’d be in trouble for being jealous. And the longer the moment lasted the two of them just staring at one another the more unsure Steve became, he wrung his hands, no longer knowing what to do with them.

He wanted to draw Eddie to him, put his hands all over him, like he was desperate just to touch him. And he hadn't ever felt like that, like he couldn't focus, couldn't control himself, like he wanted to be a giant, so he could keep Eddie in his pocket, like he wanted to shrink himself down, so he could live in Eddie's so he would never not be touching him.

His racing thoughts were staring to make him panic, he could feel his breaths getting short and faster but Eddie, his calming, steady Eddie just looked at him so softly like he was thoroughly endeared, pulled Steve into his arms in one swift motion and kissed him so soundly that every thought flitting around his head just floated away until there was nothing but the pressure of Eddie's lips, the smell of fading sunscreen, mixed with cologne and the underlying something that was just Eddie, and the fizzling excited feeling in Steve's sternum he felt every time their lips were locked.

It felt like they spent forever and barely any time at all in each other's embrace before Robin calling their names eventually broke through into Steve's consciousness, making him reluctantly pull away. Not that he could leave the safe little bubble Eddie had created for them right away. Steve had to rest his forehead against Eddie's to keep the connection for a few seconds longer, just to keep him close, to keep breathing him in while he got a hold of enough of his bearings to function. Eddie hummed quietly to himself, softly pecking Steve’s lips once more before taking his hand and leading him into the back room.

Robin snorted when they entered, and he couldn’t exactly blame her. It seemed he’d somehow managed to pull all of Eddie’s hair free of its tie and his lips, although kiss swollen, were pulled tightly into a sunny smile. "When you two are quite finished," Robin chastised with a raised eyebrow. Steve knew she was joking with them, but he couldn’t help the immediate rush of guilt he felt.

This was supposed to be their holiday together, supposed to be her special trip, her special day, yet he was wrapped up in someone he was stupidly desperately in love with and considering the chances of him ever seeing Eddie again as soon as they all went home were pretty slim, he felt terrible that he’d stopped focusing on his best friend.

Eddie didn’t seem too bothered, in fact he seemed more amused than anything, "I'm sorry Bobs, I just can't get enough," he purred, laughing raucously when she mimed gagging, turning back to the book in her lap with a roll of her eyes.

Charlie pressed a drink into their hands with a gentle "here you go" before flopping down next to the girls on the comfortable looking sofa. Robin was flicking through a stack of books filled with drawings, Chrissy pressed tightly to her side, looking over her shoulder. Eddie put his glass down on the coffee table and sat in the lazyboy next to his cousin, effortlessly pulling Steve into his lap, tucking his chin over his shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. It’d stopped surprising Steve that Eddie just did things like that, but he was thankful for his dexterity that he’d managed not to spill liquid all over the tiled floor in the process.

Steve placed his glass on his knee, watching Robin flick through the images, wondering what she’d pick. He half expected the cousins to start up a conversation and was trying to give them as much privacy as possible, so they could talk, even if it was only small talk. 

Steve didn’t have cousins of his own, but Tommy had had three. They weren’t very close, but that was unsurprising he supposed given they lived on the other side of the country and only really saw each other every couple of years for family get together’s. Steve had been allowed to go to one once when Tommy’s gran had died. It had devastated Tommy, and Steve had only been allowed to be at the funeral to keep Tommy from crying and embarrassing the family. Apparently, 10 was too old to cry when you lost the only adult who'd ever really loved you.

He’d met Tommy’s cousins at the wake, and they were awful. The things they’d said to Tommy were way out of line and whether it was because they were grieving or just because that’s who they were Steve didn’t know; honestly he didn’t care, he was just glad when Tommy never spoke to them again. And he'd always thought that if that was what cousins did to each other, he was glad he'd never had any of his own.

Except neither cousin said anything, they just stared at each other for a while and then Charlie asked, "So, I hear you're from Hawkins?"

Steve pulled his eyes from where they’d glazed over watching the pages of the book flick, to Charlie. It was obviously aimed at him, and although they had asked almost conversationally, there was a fierceness in their eyes and a definite tone. Steve knew the beginnings of a grilling when he heard it, and he was suddenly glad for Eddie's proximity, especially when he wrapped his arms instinctively tighter around his waist.

Max had been the last person to give him the “what are your intentions” talk. It’d hurt mainly because he had thought she'd liked him, and he knew she'd hated Billy, especially after the incident with Lucas. He couldn’t afford to think about that now, if he had any hopes of making this work past this holiday, he had to make a good impression. And that was a thought that only continued to make him more nervous, the thought of fucking this up for good was unbearable, his heart rate kicking up and his mouth going impossibly dry.

He was so nervous he could only nod his affirmation, barely even registering the telltale smell that it wasn't water in his glass as he took a large swig, only realising that it was neat vodka when he choked as it burned down his gullet. Jesus Christ!

Eddie smacked Charlie's shin with the back of his hand while he rubbed soothing circles on Steve's back, "Jesus H Christ! Warn a person, Kohl! You mean bastard!" Eddie chastised, leaning forward to check Steve wasn't dying as he hacked up a lung, tears blurring his vision as he tried to breathe.

Charlie sprang off the couch, "Come now, Bear," they said, quickly crossing the room in two strides, "You know better than anyone that my fathers' were married long before I came along," Charlie quipped, pulling a bottle of water out of one of the cupboards and handing it to Steve with a whispered "Sorry, honey. Are you alright?" joining Eddie in rubbing his back gently, "Plus, I didn't hear you warn him either!" they said to Eddie accusingly.

Eddie sucked in a breath, no doubt ready to retort when Chrissy interrupted, "My darlings, are you fighting? You know how Pa hates it when you fight." Chris spoke softly and sweetly, but something about the way she said it made sure both cousins were quick to back down.

Eddie sighed heavily, back to fussing over Steve as Charlie sat back down on the sofa, making a point to look anywhere but at their cousin. A heavy quiet settled over the group, the only sounds in the room coming from the rustle of turning pages and the quiet music playing on a radio in the corner of the room; Endless Love sounding out of the tiny speaker. 

Steve inadvertently caught Eddie's eye as he fretted over him, brushing Steve's hair back away from his forehead and combing his fingers through the hairs at the back of his neck, and the look in his eyes was enough to take Steve's breath away. Eddie was looking at him with such a deep intensity, Steve felt like he was being sucked into a vortex. Becoming almost overwhelming when Eddie started mouthing the lyrics, it felt like Eddie was the one saying the words, like he could possibly mean them and Steve felt it for a second, his own feelings mirrored back at him in Eddie's gaze.

But then Robin accidentally kicked the coffee table, swearing loudly and rubbing her foot, effectively snapping their attention to her and breaking the moment like popping a bubble. Chrissy carefully pushed the table away from Robin with her foot, effectively covering the sound as Steve gulped audibly.

He began purposefully glancing around the room as the song switched to Let's Stay Together, he knew he'd give himself away if he looked back at Eddie. Knew he'd be able to see Steve's true desires if their eyes met and something about Eddie seeing how deep the well of affection Steve felt for him went terrified the living crap out of him. And honestly, he wasn't sure his heart would survive it, if he saw and heard it reflected back from Eddie, and then he never saw him again. Steve knew it'd destroy him, there'd be nothing of him left for Robin to piece back together. 

For the first time since hearing Eddie sing in his shower, Steve wished he'd stop when Eddie started crooning the words under his breath into Steve's shoulder where he'd pressed his face against him. Steve felt panic rising back up his throat, constricting his chest, and he knew he needed to focus on something else before he lost it completely. 

He'd never been in a tattoo parlour before, it was a brand new experience he could throw all his attention at, and he'd never been more thankful. He had nothing to compare it to, but Clarke's seemed nice, white tiled floors that sparkled just so in the overhead lighting, but he knew a cursory glance wouldn't be enough to hold his attention enough to drag his anxiety back to neutral, so he began counting things trying to quell the emotions filling him and slow his rapidly beating heart. 

Ten spotlights in the ceiling, nine bottles of something lined up on the counter against the wall, eight leaves on the potted plant in the corner, seven business cards on the pin board, six framed paintings, five hooks on the key hook by the backdoor, four different coloured painted walls, three workstations with comfortable looking black chairs like what you'd find at the dentist, two magazines on the coffee table and one tattoo artist, watching Steve intently.

Before Charlie had a chance to ask, Steve took in the thousands of photos of different body parts adorned with pretty patterns and colours all over the walls that threw a question blindly into his mind, "Did you do all of these?" he asked gruffly, his throat still not quite recovered, both from choking and the lump that had formed no matter how much he tried not to listen to Eddie, indicating the wall behind Charlie's head with a tilt of his own.

He cleared his throat inconspicuously, knowing he'd hit the jackpot question when Charlie's face split into a manic grin, almost the exact same look Robin had whenever someone asked her about her theories; ecstatically animated with sparkling eyes, like you could see the words being formed behind them.

"Not all, no, but I've done the majority. There's two other artists working here, but I've been here the longest," Charlie told him, glancing proudly around the room, calming Steve somewhat, "Do you have any?" Charlie enquired, giving Steve their undivided attention, clearly genuinely interested in the answer.

Steve shook his head, "Me? No. They're beautiful. I love Eddie's but erm..." and Steve realised he was about to say his parents wouldn't allow it, like they had any control over his life and he was so sick of having thoughts like that. He knew it was way past time he learned that he liked what he liked, and his parents would always be indifferent to it regardless of what he did, there was just no pleasing them. So if he liked tattoos, if having one was what he wanted, that was for him to decide; there was no right or wrong that would suddenly win their affections.

Luckily, Steve was saved from elaborating by Robin’s excited gasp as she pointed to a picture in the book she was flicking through, "That one! That's it! Can I have this one, Charlie?" she asked excitedly, bouncing up and down in her seat like a kid on the way to the seaside.

Steve clambered out of Eddie's lap, so they could all gather around the book, looking down at the page of drawings, "They're adorable, babe!" Chrissy declared joyfully, and she was right; it was a simple design, a little upside-down teardrop with giant eyes, the human depiction of an alien's head, but it was very cute.

Charlie grinned at Robin, "Perfect! You want colour or just as they are?" they asked, getting off the sofa and heading across the room towards one of the stations.

Robin didn't even hesitate, "Just as they are!" she decreed, jumping up and practically dancing around the room.

Somehow, the book had ended up in Chrissy’s lap, who was staring at the little picture with such adoration Steve wondered if you could force something into existence by pure thought alone. Luckily, Robin stopped moving long enough to notice, kneeling in front of Chrissy and looking up at her through her lashes, "Why don't you get one too?" Robin asked coyly.

The look of awe Chrissy was directing at his best friend nearly knocked him off his feet, "Really?" Chrissy asked with heartbreaking disbelief in her voice.

Except Robin panicked and suddenly second-guessed herself, she started backtracking, babbling, "Yeah, I mean, if you want. You don't have to, don't feel like you've got to. I just thought it'd be nice, y'know? And you seemed to like it, you said they were cute, but that doesn't mean you'd want them forever, right? Maybe you could get something different? Maybe we could all get one? Just like a souvenir?"

It'd been a long time since Steve had seen someone look at Robin like that, like she was the miracle Steve knew her to be. Chrissy was misty-eyed, her smile stretched so far across her face, Steve worried it might split in two. She looked like all her dreams had come true, and maybe they had; he knew all he'd wanted growing up was for someone to say yes to something he actually wanted.

"Bobbie!" Steve interrupted gently, nodding his head towards Chrissy, successfully redirecting Robin's attention away from her internal panic. The two girls beamed brightly at one another as Robin knelt up, crowding into Chrissy’s space; Chris nodding tearfully like she’d just accepted a marriage proposal instead of an invitation for a matching tattoo. Steve could stop himself from smiling affectionately at them, "That's a brilliant idea, if it's okay with Charlie?" he asked, turning purposefully away from the girls, giving them a moment of privacy.

Charlie grinned from their station, where they were busy getting set up, "This is my joy, doll, the more, the merrier!" they said affectionately, patting the chair, inviting Robin to come and sit.

“Yes! So we’re all getting one, right?” Robin asked, giving Steve a quick squeeze around the middle as she passed him.

Steve planted a kiss on the top of her head before she let go, “If you’re sure?” he asked, asking with his eyes as well as his mouth as she backed away from him towards Charlie, just to make sure she hadn’t backed herself into a corner, but she seemed pretty certain and who was he to deny her anything after he’d essentially ruined their platonic couples getaway by falling in love.

Chrissy sat with Robin while Charlie worked, holding her hand and talking her through it, even though it took surprisingly less time than Steve assumed it would. The radio in the corner only had time to play a few songs that he barely had time to register as he watched Robin intently, making sure she wasn't in too much pain or panicking, but she was fine, she was happy. When Charlie sat back with a satisfied grin and a questioning eyebrow, Robin looked down at the little alien looking up at her from her finger and grinned even as tears sprung into her eyes, sliding quickly down her cheeks.

It was so unlike her. Steve had always been a total wreck, a good song, a sad movie, he cried but not Robin; she was always the one making fun of him. This was unprecedented, and he didn’t really know what else to do other than to spring up and wrap his arms around her shoulders, pressing his face into her hair even as she insisted she was fine.

Robin put up with his fussing for a whole minute before she was patting his arm and trying to wriggle out of his grasp, “Honestly, dingus. I’m just… so happy. Look,” she said, wiggling her finger at Steve and laughing wetly.

He didn’t really want to leave her side, but Chrissy was trying her best not to crowd into them, even though Steve could tell she wanted to and when Eddie patted the sofa next to him softly, he knew he was right. Knew that from that moment on he wouldn’t always have to be the one to protect Robin. Knew that he’d find it hard to move over and let someone else help when he’d been the one doing it for so long, but that it was something he was going to have to wrap his head around.

He wandered melancholically back to the couch, letting Eddie wrap him in his arms listening to the rumble in his chest as he sang softly along with the songs coming from the radio, watching as Robin slid out of the chair and into Chrissy’s embrace, excitedly showing her her finger and seeing Chrissy mirror her excitement back.

Charlie did a bit of cleaning and tidying while the girls chatted before patting the chair again, and after asking Robin another twenty times if she was sure she wanted them to have matching tattoos, Chrissy sat for hers. 

Steve couldn't help but admire her strength because she barely even flinched as Charlie pierced her skin. Robin had tried to be brave, but he’d recognised the signs she was trying not to show, the same signs from when she’d lay in agony on the couch once a month and Steve wouldn’t even need to ask, he’d just get the heat pad and, depending on the weather, either the rocky road ice cream or a hazelnut hot chocolate.

Chrissy didn’t even seem to notice and his admiration for her must shine through because Eddie pressed his face into his jaw, "This isn't her first," he whispered into Steve's ear. And it's not that it surprises him exactly, he just never would've guessed, but maybe having Eddie as a best friend taught her things he's yet to learn.

Steve hummed, pushing Eddie back into the sofa, so he could snuggle into Eddie's side. He felt safe, tucked under Eddie’s chin with his arms securely wrapped around him to feel the pain he was feeling for his younger self. He so wished he'd known the four of them when he was a teenager, wished he'd had the chance to be himself sooner, wished he was as sure of himself as Chrissy was. 

Unfortunately, Eddie mistook his clinginess as nervousness, muttering in his ear, "You don't have to get one, if you don't want. I won't either, and then it'll just be a thing for them-"

"It's not that. I want to. I do," Steve interrupted quietly, "It's just... I realised earlier that the only reason I've never done a lot of things I want to do is that I'm still fearful of disappointing my parents, even though they're already disappointed and there won’t be anything I can ever do to change that. I just want to be more like Chrissy, she's living her life for herself, y'know?" he admitted, surprised at how good it felt to let that out.

Eddie nodded solemnly, pulling him closer and bringing one hand up, fingers splayed in the hair at the back of his head, "She wasn't always this way," Eddie muttered, playing absentmindedly with the strands, "It takes practice and good people around you who are ready to really see you and what you want and remind you it's okay to take it. I was as lucky to find her, as you were to find Robin, and we're both luckier still to have found you two," Eddie mumbled, placing a kiss into Steve's hair.

Eddie sighed heavily, "My dad wasn't a good man, but my uncle was. He realised I was in a bad place. Always getting into fights at school, no friends, no family. When my dad first went to prison, my uncle stayed with me at my dads, until I came home from school one day black and blue and on the edge of tears. He cleaned me up and calmed me down, and then he sat with me and asked me what I wanted. Asked me if I could live anywhere in the world, where would I want to live. And when I said I just wanted to live with him, he literally just picked me up and took me to live with his family."

He huffed wistfully, "They cleared out their office, so I could have my own room in their home, even though both Charlie and I said we'd be fine sharing. They made me feel so welcome and honestly, for years, I felt so left out because Charlie called Wayne dad, but I felt like I couldn't even though I wanted to more than anything. And then I met Chris, her stepdad was the one to rescue her, from her mother of all people, but she always called him dad. One day I asked her why, and she said to me, "Moms and dads aren't the people who give you life, they're the ones who raise you, who show up for you and love you no matter what"."

Both Chrissy and Robin were chatting vibrantly with Charlie, so they hadn't heard Eddie’s mumbled story, nor the sob that hiccuped out of Steve's chest, even though he had been trying his hardest to focus on their smiles in order to quell the flood roaring through him. Eddie tightened his grip, rubbing his thumb soothingly along Steve's ribs. His story was as beautiful as Eddie himself, and Steve knew deep down that he was right, that you can't live your life for people who never bothered to love you enough to even be classed as your parents. 

Not when he had Hop and Claudia, who actually deserved the titles. They’d been taking care of him in the way his parents should’ve for as long as he could remember. They were the ones who loved him, who showed up for him, who he called when he had a bad day, who he knew he could rely on no matter what, who dropped everything to be at his side whenever he needed them.

He was lucky to have them, Claud was the one who fussed and coddled and cared; icing wounds, forcing him to eat home-cooked meals, doling out endless affection and letting him get away with murder. And Hop, well he’d come into his life on the day he needed a dad the most and honestly Steve wasn’t sure where he’d be if he hadn’t. Not that it had stopped Steve from putting the man through hell. Steve hadn’t wanted to, not really, he was just young and rebellious and angry, and he’d needed an outlet for that.

But Hop saw him and continued to see him, no matter how many times Steve acted out or tried to brush him off. Hop always stood there and took whatever Steve threw at him, calm and steady most of the time and even the times when Steve pushed too hard and Hop stormed off, he always came back. And although he might not have been the best at saying it, or showing it in any of the traditional ways, Steve knew Hop loved him. He was more of a dad than his own had ever been.

Admittedly, Hop was a little miffed when Steve came out, not because Steve was bi but because Steve had hidden the fact that the real reason he had moved to Indy was to be with Billy, to really be with him in a way they couldn't be in Hawkins. Except all Billy did was drag him out to Indy, continue to ignore and neglect him and make Steve feel like it was his fault he was acting that way, when in reality he was just cheating on Steve with just about anything with a pulse.

So yeah, Hop had been a little miffed but only because he hadn't been able to stop his boy from getting his heart broken, hadn't been able to give Billy a shovel talk so genuinely terrifying he wouldn't have dared to treat Steve that way, hadn't been able to do what he did best, which was protect his kids from harm, even if the only harm was heartbreak.

The Billy Incident had led to their agreement, anyone getting past the third date came to dinner with Hop, so they could be sized up and terrified before Steve had the chance to fall too hard and get his heart broken by someone just wanting to mess him around. And thinking about it, Steve was a little scared of what Hop's reaction was going to be when he found out Steve was already in deep; not that he thought Hop would be mad with him, just that he might be disappointed, which somehow seemed worse.

Steve wondered if Eddie's uncle would be equally unimpressed. If Eddie called him dad now. If his uncle knew how much Eddie loved and respected him. Not that he had time to ask because Charlie had finished with Chrissy and the cleaning and was in the process of calling Steve over, until Robin took one look at him, red-eyed and uncurling himself from Eddie's side and dragged him unceremoniously out of the room with an “excuse us” so she could check in with him.

She of course went on a minutes long rant, reminding him he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to, taking no interruptions, so Steve could explain that his being upset had nothing to do with a tattoo. When she did finally let him get a word in edgeways, he only had to say the word parents before she was nodding sagely, she might not understand exactly, but she saw the way his biological parents were with him in comparison to the way Hop and Claud treated him. She had once jokingly asked him if he was too old to be emancipated and adopted, and honestly, Steve kinda wished he wasn't too old for that.

By the time he’d convinced Robin that he was okay, Eddie already had his tattoo done like she'd ordered with a bark at them as she'd marched Steve out. He was sad he’d missed his opportunity to sit by Eddie’s side as the girls had got to, but he could hope he’d get another chance some other time. Steve sheepishly clambered into the chair next to Charlie, feeling excited and nervous all at once. 

Everyone's eyes were on him, and he didn't want to be the wuss of the group, but Charlie was great, keeping him distracted with easy conversation, "So, you're from Hawkins, right? Did you go to Hawkins Middle?" It sounded a lot less like the Spanish Inquisition this time, more like curiosity, even if it was oddly specific for someone who grew up a few towns over. Steve happily hummed his affirmation, trying his hardest not to speak, so he wouldn't shout "OW!" like he wanted to, but then Charlie looked up at him, a truly mischievous smile spread across their face, "Taught by Mr Clarke?" they asked, eyes gleaming.

Steve's brows drew together because yeah he was, but how did-? "Oh my god! Your dad is Scott Clarke?" Steve yelled in astonishment as it all fell into place.

"The one and only!" Charlie proclaimed, laughing merrily and bending back over his finger, getting back to work.

And what the actual hell because Steve had grown up hearing stories of Mr Clarke's kids, Eddie and Charlie. Steve had spent a year looking forward to Monday mornings because Scott would be so excited to tell his students all about his weekend and all the weird and wonderful things he and his family had got up to.

Honestly, Steve had always been envious that they spent time doing things together, even if some of the stuff was weird as hell, like deconstructing and rebuilding the TV for fun. And Mr Clarke was the best teacher Steve had ever had, he was so caring and supportive and obliging, and had the patience of a saint, for those few middle school years all Steve wished for for Christmas was for his parents to be more like him.

Then, when Steve had become the kids' official babysitter, he'd really got to know Scott and he'd talk so proudly about his son's band, always inviting Steve to concerts, but heavy metal wasn't cool enough for King Steve and when he'd started up with Billy, he'd declared it lame, so Steve never went. But to think that maybe if he'd gone, he might have met Eddie all those years ago and neither of them would've had to suffer heartbreak and terrible partners.

Steve was broken from his musings by Charlie announcing "ta-da" and when he looked down, there was a little alien staring cutely back up at him. A souvenir. A reminder. An unspoken bond. Something they shared that'd outlive all of them. He'd never been happier with anything in his life.

The first words out of his mouth weren't the "thank you" he'd intended, but "Corroded Coffin" which snapped everyone's attention from Charlie's work to Steve.

"What did you say?" Chrissy asked breathlessly.

Steve shrugged, "Corroded Coffin. Scott, Mr Clarke, he talked endlessly about camping trips and hiking trails and a garage filled with, what I always imagined being absolute chaos, but knowing the way he kept his classroom was probably as neat as a pin. And then years later, I babysat kids in his AV club, and we'd chat, he told me about his kids band, Corroded Coffin," he admitted, refraining from imitating their dad.

"He talked about us?" Charlie asked, looking a little misty-eyed over at Eddie, who looked a little tearful himself.

Steve smiled wistfully at the memory, "All the time! We all knew stories about you two. The time you got stuck up a tree was a particular favourite," Steve informed them, making Chrissy cackle and Eddie and Charlie look varying degrees of offended.

"We weren't stuck!" Eddie yelled indignantly.

Steve couldn't help the giggle that crawled up his throat, "No? So Scott didn't have to call the fire brigade?" he asked faux innocently, sending the girls into hysterics.

Charlie found the funny side when Eddie blushed deeply, "Actually, I got down by myself eventually, Eddie was the one clinging to the trunk, wailing," they added, Chrissy flopping onto the couch, so she could roll around laughing.

Steve couldn't help feeling endeared by Eddie's pout as he muttered under his breath that it was Charlie's fault they were up the tree in the first place. Steve pulled him to him by his belt loop wrapping his arm around his waist and resting his head against his stomach and mumbling "You're so cute!" Eddie brushing his fingers through Steve's hair.

When Charlie had finished giggling, they called them all over so the four of them could put their matching fingers next to one another on the counter, Charlie using a Polaroid camera to snap a photograph for the wall. Charlie then proceeded to wrap up their tattooed fingers to keep them safe, giving Steve and Robin detailed instructions on how to care for their new tattoo.

They unfortunately didn't get to stay with Charlie much longer, they'd gone back to the sofa to chat some more when two of Charlie's colleagues, Tee and Bee, arrived. They were surprised to find the parlour so full on a random Wednesday night, but they were excited to meet Charlie's big brother.

Except after two more vodkas, Eddie decided when he heard You're The First, The Last, My Everything coming through the radio speaker, it was time to serenade Steve again, which after three vodkas Steve was absolutely fine with; Charlie on the other hand was just embarrassed to be the sibling of someone who considered "that" dancing.

They were promptly shooed out of the backroom and after a round of hugs and kisses, with many promises to see each other again soon, the two couples took a tipsy stroll back to their hotel, hollering loudly into the night.

my beautiful tag list @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @adhdsummer @nerdfighteratheart @anaibis @hbyrde36 @dolphincliffs @marinarasarah @deadflowercollector @lunabookworm @a-couchpotato @wonderland-girl143-blog @ddharrington @abstractnaturaldisaster @lololol-1234 feel free to lmk if you want removing 💖

------------------------

Part 8

[totalfknloser]

zakk x reader but enemies to lovers perchance ...

headcanon format maybe ... like maybe abt how zakk & reader became enemies in the first place, zakk realising he was actually starting to like reader, zakk realising he was actually starting to LOVE reader,, yada yada ya .. you could even mix some smut in there if you wanted to like a hate fuck or something like that 🤞🤞

once again thank youuu so much and no worries if you cant fit everything i suggested in those are just some loose ideas that i like !! but i'm curious to see what you think 🫶 love ur writing thank you again

SORRY THID TOOK ME FOREVER! also oh my gosh i was writing some enemies to lovers shit but i felt like it was too gooey and sweet so i just made up this weird situation 😭 HELP I HOPE ITS OKAY!! also this is a very odd and unusual scenario LMAO but i felt like it fit better than enemies to lovers like more…. idk in script? SORRY THIS TOOK AO SO LONG OMFGGGFF

.<⛧ ^.♡.^⛧>.

⛧ okay so like you’re friends with Brodie and you met after Zakk and Brodie met each other and you’re starting to get closer to each other than Zakk originally is with Brodie and that pisses Zakk off

⛧ one day Brodie invites the both of you to hang out together with him and you are hesitant cause you weren’t really a fan of Zakk with the way he acted towards you constantly but you said yes just for Brodie.

⛧ Zakk was like.. totally an ass. as hot as he was, he was mean. he made mean comments to you under his breath and shit like that but that didn’t decrease your slight attraction for him. the attraction he had growing for you came less soon but came to be as strong as ever. you both absolutely couldn’t deny the feelings for each other but you hid it very well.

⛧ Brodie continued to invite the both of you to be all together, but that didn’t stop the mutual dislike and that mutual dislike absolutely did not stop the heated sexual tension that started to grow.

⛧ more and more hanging out created more sexual tension as i’ve said many times, but it also created a little romantic attraction that started to grow even bigger. one day you guys were at Zakk’s and Brodie left, which was unusual cause you were usually the first to leave. you guessed he just had something to do.

⛧ you were getting ready to leave when Zakk was like “Wanna fuck?” blunt and brutal. and you paused and then were like “Excuse me?” you said, lips parted and eyes squinted into confusion. you thought you misheard him till he asked again. you paused, thinking about a yes or no. you knew you wanted to but you were so.. shocked? “Uh, sure. When?” you stated, face red with a sigh.

⛧ your face was bright red and your body was heated while making out with Zakk. you were both already undressed and covered in love bites when he pulled away and asked the question. “You ready?” he whispered. “Yeah.” you whispered back. “Move.” he said, patting next to him. once you did as he asked, Zakk adjusted his position so that he was laying down, back to the bed.

⛧ you got on top of him, his thick cock prodding your hole as you were facing him. his hands traveled to you hips to help guide you down on him. you let out a sigh when the both of you gently pushed downwards, his hands gripping tighter and tighter on your hips and your sounds getting louder and louder as his hard cock pushed deeper.

⛧ once you finally pushed completely downwards, you had to have a second to adjust. Zakk was real thick and pretty long and he knew it, he was used to people having to wait a second before they or he could move.

⛧ you mumbled a soft “Fuck!” as you started to move, his dick stretching you out nicely. the pace was slow at first. your moans were loud and whiny when you finally picked up the pace, your skin smacking against both of yours as you rode him.

⛧ sweat was beading down both of your bodies as you both were overcome with bliss. his dick hitting all the right places inside of you sent pleasure through your body.

⛧ skin slapping, deep grunts from Zakk, and high pitched moans from you intoxicated the air. Zakk was griping tighter and tighter, leaving little purple bruises on your skin. his hands started to trail upwards on your body, pressing and rubbing at your nipples which you let out a whine in response.

⛧ when you both were getting close to your release, the both of your sounds started to be more desperate. the sound of skin smacking only got louder and loud as you bounced up and down faster on his dick, trying to cum as soon as possible. once you both finally got there you both moaned in pure pleasure, bodies intertwined together as you both shared this unforgettable memory.

⛧ once you pulled off and laid back on him, you started to realize these feelings of hate directed at the boy you were on top of, were feelings of love. of course you didn’t wanna tell Zakk that though. eventually you both drifted to sleep, holding each other in both arms.

⛧ after that night, the hate between the both of you faded entirely. the both of you couldn’t hide the love that showed for each other. a long time later of just talking and cuddles while Brodie wasn’t around, you asked the question the both of you have been waiting for. “Do you wanna like, go out sometime?” you whispered. “Yeah.” he replied.

⛧ you both love each other very very much and it never ends!!!!!!!!!!

.<⛧ ^.♡.^⛧>.

I AM. SO SORRY. THIS TOOK. ME SO. LONG DUDE. i could’ve wrote this in like idk 1 hour and i took over a day.. my sincerest apologies dawg also to the owner of this account i’m literally your biggest fan keep the asking coming man!! ALSO YOU CANT JUST SAY PERCHANCE!

[lestappenforever]

“Because growing up with a father who rejected him at every turn, no matter what he did, had left Max immune to letting the rejection of others affect him.

Well. Almost. Because contrary to popular belief, Max was still human in the grand scheme of things.

Even if he didn’t let many people see”

-

“The mere reminder stings like a motherfucker, and Max has to look away from where he has been staring at Charles on the podium. Because their last conversation in Monaco hasn’t done anything to dwell Max’s feelings for Charles, as much as Max had hoped it would. Has done nothing to put a damper on how desperately he wants Charles. All of him, in any way possible, all the fucking time.”

-

“There are tears burning his eyes and a lump forming in his throat, and Max just can’t. He can’t handle this. Can’t handle Charles. Can’t handle still wanting Charles more than he wants another world championship when he knows he can’t have him.”

-

Max Verstappen is used to rejection, and he accepts it without hesitation, Without putting up much of a fight. He doesn’t know how he’d cope if he didn’t.

-

“I don’t know! Be angry with me, hate me, treat me like I was invisible in the paddock for not being ready to let the whole world find out — something that showed it mattered! That I mattered!” Charles’ voice cracks a little at that last part, and Max is rendered speechless.”

-

“Charles, I told you I loved you. How can you even begin to think that you didn’t matter? That you don’t matter?” Max asks, voice finally at a more acceptable volume now.

You matter. You matter so fucking much. Hell, Charles, you’re all that fucking matters.

-

Max wants to reach out and pull him close. Wants to kiss him like there is no tomorrow and never let him go.

But he doesn’t. Because he can’t.

-

“I never needed or wanted the whole world to know. And losing whatever it was we had broke my fucking heart, Charles,” Max’s voice is low and raw, and there is no concealing the pain lacing it.

“But I would never ask you for anything that you cannot or will not give. So yes, I went back to treating you like a friend because I don’t know what else to do.”

-

“You thinking you don’t matter is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You are everything, Charles. You have always been everything . And fuck everything and everyone who makes you feel like you’re not.”

-

I want this to be noted as the parts where the author broke and shattered and bruised my heart. And I believe I should be compensated for having to go through that gut wrenching experience. My heart is crying. The author and the lestappen from this fic universe needs to fix it because I don’t think my heart can go through it again. It already goes through pain because Ferrari does Ferrari things to ruin Charles every weekend.

Anyways, lovely chapter, broke my heart and made me cry but nonetheless an amazing chapter. Can’t wait to cry more or be happy(🤞🤞) while reading the last two chapter. I will see you again after the next update. I don’t know if I will be crying or smiling though.

My beautiful, kind, darling anon who I do not deserve in any way, shape or form,

Thank you so much for this ask, and for including the parts of the chapter that affected you the most. The fact that you've taken the time out of your day not only to read the chapter, but to leave me this wonderful ask fills me with more joy than I can even begin to describe. Hearing my words can have such an emotional impact is honestly such a massive compliment, and makes the many, many hours I have put into writing this fic feel even more worth it.

I'm already excited to share the last two chapters with you, and I love you so very much. 💕

(And I'm crossing everything I have for Charles to please have a good weekend, and for Ferrari to fix his fucking car before tomorrow or I swear to God I will scream.)

[uriekukistan]

Yuuta + 2, 14, and 18 for the ask! :)

hiii bre thank u for the ask !! hope ur doing well :D & thank u for asking abt yuuta he's one of my favs i feel like i dont talk abt him enough tho

i got kinda long winded on these sorryyyy i have a lot of bottled up thoughts abt him bc i just. never talk abt him for whatever reason.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

the fact that love is so central to his character, i think it brings a lot to jjk, especially against a villain like sukuna who thinks love is pointless. im having doubts after recent chapters, but i was really hoping to see him and yuuji take down sukuna together, since so much of what they do is motivated by love, and i think that would just be so poetic.

but like yuuta has rika bc he loved her sm when she was alive. he nearly sacrifices himself in jjk0 bc he loves his friends sm. he takes on gojo's burden bc he loves him. his domain is literally true & mutual love like kfjghkfjghdkj

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

i think his first priority is being cozy. like he always picks things that are comfy and have a good fabric texture. his clothes gotta be soft. no scratchy fabrics in this wardrobe. i can see him enjoying the like. "soft boy" type clothing w sweaters over collared shirts and a lot of pastel blues.

he's probably got white sneakers tho. and unpatterened socks. perpetually smells like fabric softener bc again no scratchy clothing.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

i could talk about inuokko but im not going to. just know they're always on my mind 🤞

okay initially i was gonna talk about yuuta's relationship w gojo bc it's been on my mind w the recent chapters, but actually, i want to talk about his relationship with yuuji bc i think everyone wants to put them in competition w each other too frequently, so it gets neglected.

i wish we could see a bit more of them together bc i think yuuta could share a lot of wisdom w yuuji. he once carried a lot of guilt bc of the actions of rika, and he too wrestled w the idea of whether he deserved to keep living, but anyway, even without that, i really like what of their relationship we do get to see. i mean just look at this, yuuta's known yuuji for a total of like. twenty minutes maybe but he's already figured him out.

actually just in general, i've noticed that he seems to be closest with characters that are generally "different" and somewhat lonely because of that. gojo is lonely because he is strong. maki is lonely because she's different from her family. inumaki is lonely because he can't speak with his friends normally. yuuji is lonely because he's lost so much, and he's sukuna's vessel, so many people want him dead or dont see him as human. and all of these are people that yuuta takes extra time to understand or build closer relationships with. im sure it comes from how lonely he felt growing up with a malicious curse that wouldn't let anyone near him, so he doesn't want anyone else to feel alone </3

[davnittbraes]

The Fourth Step - Chapter Twenty-Five

Part of The World Is Light, Embodied.

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (not this chapter but the series as a whole)

Word Count: 4400

Warnings, etc.: absolutely ridiculous banter that I had way too much fun writing, ANGST I mean these two have had it pretty good lately so let’s not get too comfortable, negative self-talk (love yourselves bbys please,) references to past trauma, Peli Motto comes with her own warning, an OC makes an appearance

Notes: AND WE’RE BACK to regularly scheduled programming, sorry for the delay on this one, I hope it’s worth the wait 🤞. Also, I’m making stuff up about eopies here. Also also, I couldn’t figure out the plural of eopie - is it eopie? Eopies? Whatever I picked one and went with it. Come at me, SW fandom. Also also also, ten points to anyone who gets the pop culture references in the first scene.

Mando’a translations at the end of the chapter.

Please check out the Series Masterlist page for more info.

It’s all just so pleasantly, unremarkably domestic. 

As if the couple months since you left Pax have always been your life, this routine of casual activities and quiet simplicities. Going to market together, smoothly trading responsibilities, discussing minor repairs for the Razor Crest and jointly caring for a child while bantering about the likelihood of said child being too stuffed full of treats to eat supper later.

As if you’ve tucked a child into bed after a long day a thousand times, stroking the skin between drowsy eyes and murmuring gentle goodnights and sleep wells, half-listening to the muted movements of another as he tidies up your shared living space, thoughts turning to the much-anticipated moments when you will be alone with him, nestled away from the world in the quiet of night. 

As if it’s normal for you to sink into the arms of another who pulls you close, sharing murmured words and caresses and soft kisses that grow heated in the dark. To wake up the next morning, warm and secure in a firm embrace, and to go through the motions of getting a household up and ready for the day. 

It’s all just so vividly, poignantly domestic. 

And it shakes the very foundation of your self-understanding to realize that you like it. 

Not so long ago, you had adamantly sought solitude, snubbed personal relationships, avoided any connection deeper than a tight smile and a quick nod. Life had been experienced through a filter of distrust and fear, everyone and everything a potential threat to the freedom you didn’t earn, this existence that you had only due to a random happenstance that let you escape.

It’s a bit unbelievable, that you’re here, now. Sitting in the cockpit of a starship, a child dozing in your lap after a morning of play, trading teasing barbs with a man who’s name has become embedded in that warm bright thing in your chest. 

You chew your bottom lip, narrowing your eyes at the back of his helmet as he leans over the ship’s control console, reading some kind of diagnostic report. “As the Stars Burn?”

The helmet tilts. “No.”

“All My Younglings?”

“No again.”

“General Medbay. That one’s insanely popular, you have to know that one.”

“Never heard of it.”

You slump back in your chair, sighing in defeat, the kid grumbling softly at the movement. “I still don’t believe you. There’s no way someone as well-travelled as you has never - oh! Sex and Cloud City.”

The helmet turns, black visor meeting your gaze. “You made that one up.”

“I swear, it’s an actual show on the HoloNet.” You can’t hold back the bubble of laughter at the absolute incredulity in his voice, and the kid grumbles again as he’s jostled with the movement. Gently, you pick him up and set him in his pod, floating next to you. “It’s nominated for a bunch of awards this year.”

A soft snort filters through the modulator. “Not for its subtle writing, I assume.”

“People like what they like.” Leaning forward, you squint at the navigation map, the image just far enough away that it’s too blurry to make out. “Where are we? The Trailing Sectors?”

“Why don’t you come here and see for yourself?” His voice is deceptively light, casual suggestion lilting his words. 

You recoil back into your chair, fingers gripping the seat tight. “Nope. Nuh uh. Me and my mechanical curse will stay right here, thank you.”

He turns to face you fully, beskar glinting in the blue-white light of hyperspace. “You’re more than capable of piloting this ship.”

“How did we get from looking at the nav map to piloting the ship? That’s the exact opposite direction this conversation should be going in.”

He goes quiet, still. Unseen gaze studying you from behind the black visor. The silence suddenly thickens, your skin itching with it but your limbs stay frozen, unable to move, pinned to your chair. 

Your heartbeat stutters. 

He’s assessing you. Determining his next move. 

Well, doesn’t matter, there’s nothing he can say that will get you in that pilot’s chair. 

His pauldrons shift as he rests his gloved hands on his thighs, looking far too relaxed and confident for your liking. “You’re smart, intuitive. Your reflexes are sharp. You’re good with your hands.”

An anxiousness floods your chest, pushing you to deflect from his compliments, throw him an exaggerated wink. “Good with my hands? Well, I guess you would have some experience with that.”

The helmet shakes once, a sigh of exasperation and amusement sifting through the modulator. “And I know you don’t truly believe in some sort of curse that damages mechanical equipment when you’re around it.”

“Until I see more evidence to the contrary, that’s the most reasonable explanation.” Ok good, you can manage this. His insistent but gentle prodding to convince you to learn to fly is something you’ve become used to over the last few months. Just hold your ground and -

“What if I’m not here and the kid is in danger?”

Pfassk. 

Clever bastard. 

He doesn’t even flinch when you glare at him. Just sits there looking smug - it doesn’t matter that you can’t see his face, you can tell. 

Sighing dramatically, you raise your hands on defeat. “Fine. You got me. But if something explodes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Nothing is going to explode.” He stands, holding the chair steady as you settle into it. 

Your fingers clench, digging into your thighs as you look down at the control console. Anxiety rumbles beneath the surface of your thoughts, quieting when a strong, gloved hand rests on the back of your neck. 

He believes you can do this. At least give it a try. 

His thumb strokes the curve of your neck, soothing. “So the first thing you have to remember is to breathe.”

A shaky huff of laughter triggers your lungs into working again. “Forget HoloNet dramas. You’re obviously obsessed with comedies.”

He chuckles softly. “Now that you’re closer, you can read the nav map and see where we are.”

Right, you know how to do that. Peering down at the small screen, you note the bold white lines, the positional beacon of the ship’s location. “So we are still in the Trailing Sectors. On the Triellus Trade Run.”

“Just passed Naboo, yes.” His free hand moves over the console, hovering above each group of buttons, switches and levers as he passes it. “This is the hyperdrive engine status, fuel gauges, proximity alert, autopilot sequencing, weapons.”

“Yep, got it, stay away from that part right there.” You eye the last group of controls cautiously. 

“For now. Let’s start with the basics.” He steps back, folding his arms across his chest. “Take hold of the steering.”

Your gaze flies to his, nervousness spiking hot through the pit of your stomach. “While we’re in hyperspace?”

“You’re not going to do anything. Just grip the steering.”

Taking a deep breath, you face the console. “One final time, for record - if we blow up, it’s your fault.”

He doesn’t say anything, just waits patiently, watching you. 

Fine. Ok. It’s just holding the steering. Nothing is going to happen. 

Slowly, you lift your hands, curl your fingers around the side-sticks, slotting them into the ergonomic grooves. The grips are well-worn but still comfortable, a faint vibration of the engines buzzing against your palm. 

You hold your breath, watching the various lights and screens carefully, waiting. 

Nothing. 

He breaks the silence, words gently teasing. “No explosions yet.”

Releasing your breath on a rush, you throw him a mock-glare. “‘Yet’ being the key word, there. Now what?”

He slips behind you again, gloved hand returning to its place on the back of your neck. “We’re not going to do anything while in hyperspace, but we can -“

A shrill beeping cuts through the air. 

You instantly let go of the steering, jumping out of the chair and taking a step back as he takes your place, reaching over the console to pull up the system status. The alarm shuts off, last of it echoing through your thoughts in time with the pounding of your heart. 

He flips another switch, sighing. “Coolant line sprung a leak. We’ll have to land to repair it.”

The lack of urgency in his voice calms your anxiety, relief washing through you. “How far can we make it?”

“Not far.” He turns to the navigation map. “Tatooine is our best bet. I know a mechanic there.”

You sink into your chair, glancing at the kid, who’s sitting up, nap forgotten, ears perked with curiosity. “Great, my curse not only damaged the ship, it also forced me back to the Galaxy’s Dustbin.”

The helmet turns to look back at you, tilting slightly. “You’re not cursed, tionas.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Tell that to the coolant line.”

*****

The twin suns are high above Mos Eisley as the Razor Crest dips into the hangar bay, creating a puff of dust that hasn’t quite settled as the crew door slides open, twitching your nose with the urge to sneeze. 

Kriffing Tatooine. 

Blinking against the bright sunlight, you barely get to take in your surroundings before a shrill voice pierces the air. 

“Mando! What’s wrong with this hunk of junk now?”

The kid babbles cheerfully, shifting around to stand up in his pod with arms outstretched and Din grabs him before he loses his balance. 

A short, curly-haired woman wearing coveralls strides up to the ramp, her deep scowl quickly shifting to a smile as she reaches for the kid. “Well hello there, bright eyes! Did you miss me?”

Din shifts the kid into her arms. “Coolant line is leaking.”

She turns a shrewd gaze in his direction. “Surprised it didn’t blow completely, the way you run the poor girl. Well, that won’t be cheap, as you know pre-Empire parts are hard to come by.” 

That gaze shifts to you, assessing, even though she’s clearly still talking to him. “I thought you said you weren’t a taxi service, but here you are taking on passengers.”

Her words should be rude, condescending. You should be offended, you know that. But there’s something about her, an undiluted forthrightness that makes you like her instantly. 

Din clears his throat, slipping a gloved hand around your waist to rest in the small of your back. “She’s not a passenger. She’s with me.”

Oh. 

You’d never really talked about it, how he would introduce you to others. Actually, you’d never even given it much thought, so rarely did you come into contact with people that he knew. 

So you weren’t prepared for the spark of heat to flare up your spine from the warmth of his hand, or the thrill that skittered along your heartbeat as his words sunk in. 

Her gaze darts down your frame, sizing you up with absolutely no reservation or subtlety. “Interesting. Not who I expected you’d end up with. Anyway, don’t touch anything.”

Then she’s spinning around and striding away, cooing to the kid in her arms about getting him a snack. 

The helmet flashes in the sunlight, black visor turning to look at you. “She didn’t mean… Peli can be…”

“Blunt?” You watch her feed the kid what looks like a piece of roasted meat, obviously delighting in how quickly he wolfs it down. “Honestly, it’s refreshing. I know exactly where I stand with her, and that’s somewhere between your romantic interest and a potential annoyance.”

“My ‘romantic interest?’” His voice lifts in amusement. 

It takes every effort not to smile as you meet the black visor’s gaze. “Yeah, you know. Like on those HoloNet dramas you love.”

Still, it’s not enough to hold back your laughter as his exasperated sigh filters through the modulator. 

*****

After the kid had been fed to Peli’s satisfaction, she wasted no time diving into the Razor Crest, coming up with an extensive list of parts needed to repair the coolant leak. If it had been anyone else, you would have suspected manipulation, a specialist trying to take advantage of people who don’t know as much as they do about something, but Din trusts her, so you do, too. 

Which is all well and good, but trust won’t buy starship parts. 

And unfortunately, credits are running low between you and Din, who, of course, immediately insisted on going to find work to pay for the repairs. But as you so effectively argued, you were more likely to find work that didn’t include putting yourself in mortal danger than he was, so here you are now, roaming the streets of Mos Eisley in search of a job. 

You squint against the sunlight, stepping around a group of Rodians pulling a large cart full of crates, and scan the storefronts for opportunities. Your best bet is probably a cantina, where word always gets around when people were looking for help, but sometimes you luck out by finding a shop owner in need of an extra hand -

Something big and lanky suddenly stumbles across your path, throwing you off balance. Your instincts take over and you grab the loose reins trailing after the creature, dig your boots into the dirt to pull it to a stop. 

The creature honks in protest and your senses catch up. 

An eopie.

You give the reins a quick tug, a sharp movement that pulls its short, trunk-like snout downward, directing its gaze to the ground, and slowly reach out to stroke along its flank, pitching your voice low. “Hey now, it’s ok, calm down, you’re ok.”

The eopie gives a honk in protest, tries to swing its head around but you tug the reins again, keeping it facing down, the crowds of the street out of its eyeline, and it heaves a sigh of relief, a tremor running along its wrinkled skin as it calms.

A voice calls from somewhere over your shoulder. “Kriff, are you alright?”

Keeping your hand on the eopie so you can feel if it tries to bolt again, you turn to see a man jogging toward you, leading a line of eopies connected by a transport rein. 

You pat the eopie gently, throwing the man a friendly smile. “I’m fine, poor thing just got spooked.”

He pulls to a stop, glancing back to make sure the eopies behind him fall into line before turning back to you, gaze sweeping over your form. “She broke the lead, took off before I could grab her. You sure you’re alright?”

“Really, no harm done.” Handing the reins to him, you look down the line of eopies, curious. “She probably wouldn’t have gone much farther, anyway. They don’t like to stray too far from their herd.”

He smiles, and your stomach dips sharply - after the chaos of the last few moments you’re only just now realizing he’s… very attractive. The kind of handsome you would have eyed from across the bar in your younger days, but probably wouldn’t have worked up the nerve to approach. 

He’s tall, with long, lean limbs and a trim build, defined muscles peaking through the low collar of his shirt. And there’s an openness to his features, a sweet and gentle kindness in the soft angles and warm gaze that instantly puts you at ease. 

Dank farrik, he definitely breaks hearts with those eyes. Probably unintentionally, but still. 

Right now, though, those eyes are fixed intently on you, bringing your focus back to the conversation. 

He clears his throat gently. “Are you… busy, right now?” You blink, thrown off by the question, and he ducks his head sheepishly. “Sorry, let me explain. I run an eopie breeding business, and both of my employees are away - two brothers, their sister just had a baby in Anchorhead.”

One of the eopies shakes its head, tugging at the lead as if beckoning him to get on with it, and he chuckles self-deprecatingly. “Anyway, I’m trying to get five dozen eopies to transports around the city by the end of the day for shipment to the outposts. If you can help me out, I can pay you what I would have paid the two of them combined.”

The little laugh of incredulity that slips from your lips obviously takes him back, and you lift a hand in apology. “I’m actually looking for work for a couple days.”

His features shift into a delight that’s so endearing you can’t help but smile. “Well, guess we’re both lucky today.”

“Guess so.” You gesture toward the eopies. “Where are these guys going?”

“Transport Hub 68, on the north side.” He holds out his hand. “Should probably give my name, if we’re going to spend a couple days together. Mikresh Bhan.”

You take his hand and shake it firmly, pulling a name from the running list you keep in your head. Something short, unremarkable, an abbreviation of any number of similar names in multiple languages. “Call me Kas. Let’s get these to 68, then.”

*****

After an afternoon of leading eopies around Mos Eisley, you can confirm that the biggest problem isn’t getting the eopies to go where you want, it’s getting other people to move out of the kriffing way. 

You glare after a woman who walked right toward you, without even attempting to go around the eopies, forcing you to guide them around her at the last minute. “Unbelievable. People are so self-absorbed and oblivious.” You pause. “Actually, that’s very believable, what am I saying.”

Mikresh laughs, a deep, warm sound that makes you smile automatically. “Especially in Mos Eisley. Everyone seems to have blinders on.”

“And something shoved up their ass.” You catch yourself, glancing back at him. “Sorry if that was rude. The path between my thoughts and my mouth is frustratingly short sometimes. And all the time, when it comes to talking about this scud-hole of a city.”

“No apology needed.” He looks around the crowd. “Everyone here keeps their cards close to their chest, always listening for someone else to slip up so they can use it to their advantage. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone who just spoke their mind.”

“You do seem a bit too honest to be living in Mos Eisley.” You turn a corner, giving a wide enough berth to the merchant stalls lining this part of the street that the eopies won’t get distracted by the bartering customers.

He laughs again. “Yeah, wasn’t my first choice. But we go where the work takes us, right?”

You open your mouth to agree, but the words stop up on your tongue, feeling odd and out of place. 

Mikresh assumed you were one of those people drifting from planet to planet, picking up odd jobs as they went, and you hadn’t said anything to correct him. It was best if he thought you were unattached, with no true goals or commitments beyond finding the next job. 

Which was true, for most of your life. You didn’t “come from” anywhere, or call any particular place home. 

But now? 

Now you had a child who had you entirely wrapped around his tiny green claw, and a man who made you forget every bad thing that had ever happened to you with a simple murmur of the nickname he’d given you against your skin. 

Now you had a -

Something stops that line of thought, abrupt, a sharp jagged tear through the warm bright thing in your chest. 

A deep-rooted shadow, crawling from the depths of your mind, dormant for the last few months but still there. 

Always there. 

It latches on, spreads over your thoughts, twists your stomach until it hurts.

Your teeth bite into your bottom lip, hard enough to sting. 

Stupid girl. 

You let some mushy emotions blind you to reality.

The time you’ve spent with Din and the kid, the moments of vulnerability, the secrets you’ve shared - it doesn’t change who you really are. 

You’re exactly who Mikresh thinks you are. 

A drifter, a nobody. Someone who jumps from planet to planet, identity to identity. Running from a past that you’ll never truly escape, can only hope to stay one step ahead of. 

This life, this existence of comfort and safety and trust -

It’s all temporary. It always has been, and always will be. 

Eventually, the kid will go to the Jedi. A society known for its strict adherence to rules that ban emotional attachments. 

You’ll never see him again. 

Eventually, Din will find his people. A people who he has sworn to protect, warriors who prize bravery and strength and purity of their culture above all else. 

You’re no Mandalorian. You, with scars that prove you bowed to others. 

And eventually, your past will find you, and you’ll have to run again. Keep moving, never settle.

Because that’s your life. 

Not those sweet moments of domesticity, or beautiful intimacy found in the dark, or playful banter about things that don’t really matter.

You will always end up alone, running, afraid. No amount of loving embraces and calm statements of relationship to strangers and soft words full of emotion you don’t want to name will change that. 

“There they are, the buyers are just down the street, see them?” 

Mikresh’s voice shatters your inward focus, yanking you back into the moment. You look in the direction he’s pointing, see the two Bothans watching you expectantly. 

Blinking back the shadows creeping along the edges of your vision, you force your attention to the job at hand. You’ll find time to parse through those realizations later. “Yep, I see them. How many more after this?”

“Just two more.”

Glancing over your shoulder, you throw him a smile. “Next time, it’s your turn to dodge oblivious assholes.”

*****

Loud banging echoes through the hangar as you walk in, interspersed with muffled cursing you can only partially make out. Moving around to the other side of the Razor Crest, you see why - Peli is half-hanging out of a hole in the ship, legs kicking with each bang as she obviously swings some kind of tool at whatever it is she cursing out inside the ship. 

You pause, taking in the scene. Parts are scattered about the yard, durasteel panels and other unidentifiables. There’s a general air of frustration that you can feel as you get closer, the kind that builds after one too many things go wrong. 

A flash of silver - Din, standing next to Peli, holding a mess of hoses and wires out of her way. He looks up, black visor finding you immediately, and your heartbeat flutters at the sensation of his unseen gaze on you. 

The kid’s cheerful babble pulls your gaze to where he’s perched on top of a discarded pile of tools. 

The warm bright thing in your chest squeezes, then the dark thing in your mind clutches tight. Your instinctual smile at the kid fades, but you force yourself to reach out, brush a fingertip along the top of his ear as you pass him. 

Peli hits whatever it is she’s assaulting, shouting in triumph when there’s a subsequent crash. She pulls herself out of the ship, glaring at Din. “Damn thing finally let go. You know, this entire system needs a complete overhaul - half the components are rusted. I don’t even know how that happens with durasteel. Just your luck, I guess.”

She catches sight of you, then glances up at the sky. “Dosh, sunset already? I’ve got to finish up, new neighbours have been complaining about the noise at night lately - what kind of moof-milker moves next to a hangar if they’re fussy about noise?”

She strides away, grumbling under her breath, grabbing tools that are scattered throughout the yard and tossing them into various crates. 

You avoid her path of vexation, making your way to Din as he lets go of the hoses and wires. “I almost don’t want to ask, but I’m curious enough to risk it - how’s it going?”

His sigh filters heavily through the modulator. “It’s not just a coolant line, it’s the whole system.”

Your stomach twists with unease. “That sounds expensive.”

“It’s… not cheap. Peli got a below-market price on parts, but they’re still an unexpected cost.” He leans back against the ship, resting his hands on his belt. “More credits than we have right now.”

“Maybe not.” Digging into the pocket of your jacket, you pull out the envelope Mikresh had given you when you’d parted ways. “Will this cover it? If that’s not enough, I have work lined up for the same amount tomorrow, and I might be able to get another day of it.”

The helmet tilts, black visor looking at the envelope in your hand, but he doesn’t move to take it, words coming slow and uncertain. “I’ve been thinking… I know we’ve been sharing costs for food and supplies when needed, but… this is different.”

That knot of anxiety you’ve been trying to ignore all day twists and turns, digging painfully under your ribs, pulled tighter by the dark thing in your mind. 

You swallow hard, try to keep your voice steady against the tremor that threatens to shake your hand, still outstretched toward him. “How is it different?”

“It’s my ship. My responsibility. I’ll find a way to make credits to pay for the repairs.”

A loud crash startles you, and Din strides toward the sound - the kid, looking up from the pile of parts he just knocked over, ears drooping and big eyes wide. 

Din scoops him up smoothly, patting his back soothingly while shaking his head in disappointment. “You have to be careful, kid, you could have hurt yourself or someone else.”

The kid coos quietly, curling his tiny claws into Din’s cowl. 

That knot under your ribs unravels, spreads throughout your body, pulling muscles tight. 

It’s his ship. 

Not yours. 

Just as the kid is his. You have no true connection to him. 

To either of them. 

Din shifts the kid into the crook of his arm like he’s done countless times, starts to help Peli clean up. 

The dying sunlight bounces off his pauldron, illuminating the signet in a flash that pierces right through your heart. 

They’re a clan. Even when they part ways, they’ll always have that - a bond of shared experiences you’ll never truly understand, a sense of belonging they will carry with them for the rest of their life. 

You don’t really belong anywhere. 

You never have. And you never will.  *****

Mando’a translations

tionas - question

***** Previous Chapter Next Chapter

[edvinception]

His hair looked really damaged in the Bali post so I guess he had to. Bleached hair is a pain in the ass, I know from personal experience. 😅 You have to put a lot of time and products into it to take care of it. He probably couldn't be bothered lol.

Hopefully he now can let it grow a bit! At least Wilhelm length.🤞 //

yes, i was thinking with his short hair he should've been able to keep it looking relatively healthy, but ig he wasn't bothered or didn't have the right knowledge. i wish he'd been able to keep the length and dye over the bleached parts, but yeah his hair looked pretty fried

'28 years later' is starting to film at the end of may, so if he's been cast in that movie, he might not be able to grow it out much longer than it is rn for a while

To be fair the hair looking a bit dry and tired in Bali could be due to salt water, pool water and alot of sun too.

It looked as if he had cut it to be different lengths though, compared to the buzz cut but now it's shorter again. Could be because of a up coming role. We'll see.

I hope he has a project coming soon!

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

I'm starting to feel like Hori is pulling a Toriyama, and I'm growing disappointed.

What I mean by that is, Toriyama made Vegeta an incredibly interesting and deep character (by far the best in all of DB to be honest), but continues to sideline him to this day, repeatedly having him fail, and never giving him the recognition or wins he deserves.

The way Hori handles Bakugo, how he's built him so deeply and intricately, yet continues to never let him win, reminds me of exactly that.

The biggest difference is that Toriyama admitted he hated Vegeta as a character, but Horikoshi stated the opposite about Bakugo, saying he probably likes him even better than Deku.

I don't know, I guess I'm just tired of seeing Bakugo built up with all this strength time and time again, only for him to not even get a hit in most times when he's fighting, it's really frustrating.

I'm gonna try and hold out hope though, cause I know Hori said Bakugo gets a really big moment in this last fight, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he gets the ultimate win, as he deserves. 🥺😩🤞

[seelestia]

YES I AM HERE sorry i've been running around like a headless chicken these past few days hsdfhjhdf and yep... you know, the shadow realm almost feels like home now, i loooove it when they most-definitely-not-forcefully shove me in here /s oh yeah, i've submitted a ticket again, but so far no replies yet, as per usual! 🙃

speaking about voicelines, i'm curious to know - which version of ayato do you prefer? cn? en? jp? owo

i doooo ;;; lmao it's ok there's a lot of edible things outside yk like grass and stuff- /j my god yes if there was a choice between "always winning your 50/50" and "having unlimited resources (except primos) in genshin" i would choose the former so fast-

very very true. i actually wanted kokomi too, she's so cute and her movement sets are super pretty.... but i want the other characters more atp hsdfhjsd i'm sorry mermaid princess i'll get you eventually!!!!

oh gosh i wonder.... hmmm... i mean, last time i reblogged an ask game, some people told me i give off the same energy as lisa lol irl-wise i think i give off kujou sara vibes - closed-off, serious, and stern, but tbh with my close friends i act like how i act online! maybe thoma but not that much hardworking and a lot less talent in housework hahah

many thanks i have signed it and submitted it to the uh- whatever government equivalent in teyvat that takes care of that- AND I READ HIS PROFILE AND I AM SO SOFT NOW HE IS ADORABLE

hehe i shall bring presents in the shape of fun stories and shenanigans that happened afterward~

istg, tumblr 😭 but you're on your vacay rn, so let's forget about the existence of the shadow realm momentarily, shall we? i don't want tumblr's shadow jail distracting my cousin from her vacay >:( and hopefully, they'll send you a reply by the end of the trip! trying my best to keep my hopes up for the both of us 🤞

rin jie, the way i already listened to his voicelines in all languages before you even asked me 🚶(how am i doing well the down bad scale, idk... but i know you can relate to this, so we both can't speak for ourselves /j) each va did such a good job in their language but i recall having my jaw sink to the bottom of the earth when i heard his korean version. vv elegant but also clear/authorative at the same time <3 fun fact: korean is my third language, so maybe the familiarity also helped a bit! (i liked the cn version too tho! zhao lu's take on ayato's voice is vv light and elegant <3) but wbu??? which voice-over language do you prefer, rin jie? 👀

trueee, the "(except primos)" on the latter was the deal breaker LOLLL <//3 i'm happy that at least, itto treated you right on the 50/50 (the man wants you to conserve your sacred elemental burst, how sweet /j) 🤧 speaking of, the v3.1 update is today! since i'm on 50+ pity and on the 50/50 rn, i'm gonna use my pulling strategy that i told you about~ i need venti for easier runs in the abyss, but if i like cyno's playstyle more, then i'll set my eyes on the general mahamatra 🤫 good luck saving up on primos this patch, rin jie >:)

if i were to put it, you're vv friendly but you can be assertive (and savage, hehe) when needed! smth about imagining you as kujou sara makes me want to pat your head??? but the irony of me being shorter, helpppp. legs, come on and grow taller than rin jie and xiao already 🤨 (/lh)

TYYY !! lin is but a soft man who needs headpats, so those are exactly what we shall provide <//3 i'm kinda excited to write his voicelines because through them is where we truly get to know a character >:) not just about his backstory and views on the other characters like the archons but also what an awkward he is sometimes 😭 so, i'm glad you think he is adorable <3 his gameplay talents make him out to be a good hydro applicator and support! i'm still working on his talents but he does increase the team's energy recharge so you can spam ult with him on your team ;D tysm for showing interest in him, i'm crying, ueueuue 🫂 also, i've told you this before but if you ever make a genshin oc, i will also go feral. (/hj)

[prxttypeony]

Thank you very, very much for being so understanding. I feel better now. 😊 My arm still hurts a bit, but that's fine.

Yesterday my dad went to the vet with my bunny because she stopped eating. The vent told us that Mimis stomach is full, but that she can't empty it. Bunnys always lick their fur to clean themself but if they eat to much of the fur it can get stuck in their stomach. It was the same with her brother Akai ... And he died from it. The vet gave us some meds. But they are not sure if she will make it. But I try to stay positive and do everything I can for her. I mean, she is my baby and that's all I can do right now.

Your hairstyles all sound so beautiful!! Especially the pink hair colors💗😊 Pink is such a pretty hair color.

I also change my hairstyle quite often. 😅 I usually don't like change, but its the total opposite with my hair. I usually have my hair short, but in 2019 I let it grow to my waist. Only to dye it pink. I loved the pink, but the hair length annoyed me so much. So I cut it back to my shoulders, then back to my chin ... And then I decided to shave my whole head. 😃 That was really fun. And not having to deal with my hair everyday was also nice. I cut it a few times again, so it stays short and then let it grew back. Now it its the length of my ears but with an undercut, which I love. My hair is so much easier to manage that way. 😊 Also I love the feeling when my undercut is freshly shaved. 😊 I also had dark blue hair, light blue, light purple and dark purple hair in the past. I love colorful hair.😊 Right now the light blonde is growing out and my dark blonde comes back. That's my natural hair color. I was thinking of dying it to pink, or blue again ... But than I wouldn't look that masculine anymore. I constantly get confused for a boy, which I kinda like. 😊 But then again, who care what the people think. 😃😊

Did you see the new Animal Crossing direct? Its so exciting!! There are so, so many new things coming in November!

Hope you have a happy and relaxing day. 💗💙🌈🌼

-Sonja 🪐

Of course, you deserve nothing less 💕 I'm very relieved that you're feeling better! I was worried about you so thank you for letting me know 🌻

I'm so sorry about your bunny - pets being unwell is always so distressing 😞 I'll keep my fingers crossed that Mimi returns to full health 🤞 Sending lots of love to you and your little bun ❤️

Thank you so much 🥰 I would have loved to keep my hair pink for longer but it was so much maintenance to keep the colour bright 😞 And I can definitely agree with long hair being annoying! One of the biggest bothers is my hair sticking to my lipgloss when it's windy 😖 All your hairstyles sound so fun and lovely 😻 I feel like it takes a lot of confidence to shave your have short so big kudos for that! I've contemplated shaving a section of my hair, but not for the sake of appearance, but because I love the feeling of running my fingers through short hair 😅 I like your confidence about other people's opinions too! I think the most important thing is whether you are happy with it, all the rest is secondary 🌻

Omigosh yesss!!!! I'm so excited for all the additions! I think I'm most excited for the crops and Brewster 🥰 What are you most keen for?