#Hope everyone likes it :) I’ll try to evenly distribute things and write what people like to see more than my own niche AUs haha | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arilie · 4 years ago

Text

GOD OF WAR

Ares!Eren X GreekPrincess!Reader

Rating: NSFW

Summary: A war waged on a small island that guarded a prize wanted by all of Greece. After years of bloodshed and battles, an unknown warrior graces the battlefield. He swiftly disposes of the armies and makes it to the gates of the castle that held the golden trophy. You stared into his eyes and realized who he was, and that he had come to claim you.

A/N: This was started at like two in the morning and I stayed up wayyyy too late writing it. Shoutout to Izzy for the prompt, this will definitely be a multiple part series because I have so many ideas. Enjoy!

IMPORTANT: this work was inspired by the art posted by @/artofneight on Instagram. Here’s the link to their page!

↓

https://instagram.com/artofneight?igshid=x1dz5mawokpj

Please do not repost my work without proper credit. Likes, reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated!!

Helen was known to be the most beautiful woman in all of Greece. Thousands of men and mighty kings fought in Troy for a decade in her name. Even the great hero Achilles was seen on the battlefield, roaring in the name of great Helen. You wondered if she was truly that beautiful, and if her hand in marriage was worth so much bloodshed. As you looked out the window of your bedroom and onto the fortified walls of the castle, you also wondered if this is what she saw. Massive walls caging the castle in a protective circle. A sea of men armed to their necks in weapons stood before the walls. Beyond them were fields that were once a vibrant green. After years of war, the plains were now brown from all the blood they’ve soaked. It wasn’t unusual for you to sit beside your window and stare at the clouds of smoke and listen to the distant sounds of the battles. You have debated if this was all worth the deaths and massacres you’re sure have occurred on your land.

Five years later, the effort to overthrow your father and his reign was still raging on. Your people had options of course: side with the traitors or remain under the rule of the royal family. Those still loyal were the ones serving in your military. But after years of grueling battles your numbers were starting to fall. Your military fought against those part of the coup, and those from other kingdoms. The other nations of Greece were patient and their patience was rewarded with the uprising that suddenly occurred. They took the opportunity to try and take the island themselves. Many of them focused their efforts on the sea, fighting off other nations who wanted to join the war. Those who made it on land either joined the coup or fought against them. The island and its treasures were the spoils of war, but the biggest prize gazed out of a palace window deep on the island.

Winter was finally coming to an end, and you saw Demeter’s happiness in the way your plants were flourishing. They were the only things you could really have since the war started. Everything else went towards the war effort and trying to keep the army afloat. You stroked the petal of the flowers perched on your window. Persephone finally returned home from the underworld, and your flowers shared her mother’s joy. The air still had a chill from the remaining fragments of winter. You pulled on the silk that rested on your shoulders. The morning was still frigid and you wanted nothing more than to bury under the warm covers on your bed. Before you could act on your temptations, a knock was heard from your door.

“Y/n? Are you awake yet?”

“Yes I am awake. Please come in.” You replied.

A maid dressed in a simple dress entered your bedroom. In her hands she held a shining dress that had beautiful lace adorning it. You frowned at the item in her hands and stood from your spot near the window. The maid had placed the offending dress on a chair while she fussed over your bed. Watching her tidy the bed made you sigh in regret about not having dove under the covers. You picked up the dress and tried to keep the frown from deepening on your face. You knew this was expensive, you grew up with lavishness and riches many dreamed of. You were a woman after all, who didn’t like a new sparkling dress? But you knew your people—those left—needed it more than you did.

“Did this recently come in?” You asked.

The young maid jumped slightly at being addressed. “Yes my lady, the seamstress that has always made your clothes dropped it off this morning. She left some other items as well, but I thought you might want to wear that today.”

You hummed as an answer and placed the dress back on the chair. The soft patter of your feet was heard as you crossed your bedroom to the wardrobe that contained your clothes. You opened it, picked out an equally expensive dress and held it up.

“I’ve worn this dress maybe once, and I have hundreds more that haven’t even been touched. I don’t think I need new ones. I’ll take what I absolutely need from the seamstress. I want you to sell the rest and distribute it evenly among the workers in the palace.”

The poor girl flushed deep red. You didn’t know if it was at the generosity you just displayed, or the fact that she somehow displeased you.

“Please don’t think you have offended me. I appreciate the thought and tell the seamstress I loved it. What happens to my clothes stays between us, you understand?” You said.

The pink-cheeked girl nodded her head up and down furiously. You smiled at her and gestured for her to help you get dressed. She scurried behind you and helped you remove your nightgown. The linen on the dress you took out was soft against your skin. You thanked the girl for helping you and you finished tying off the dress.

“What’s your name?” You asked.

“My name is Clio, your highness.” The maid answered.

“From now on you’ll be the only one who is allowed to dress me. I look forward to getting to know you, Clio.” You smiled at the younger girl. She stammered before thanking you profusely. You reached out and stroked her hair lovingly.

“Please go and do what I said for my clothes. Once it’s done come by and let me know.” You said.

Clio curtsied before she grabbed the glittering dress from the chair and rushed out of the room. You glanced down at the one you put on and realized it really was one you barely wore. The war made you realize how much you had, and how little others did. You straightened your shoulders and shook the thoughts out of your head. Every morning you and your parents met to discuss any changes in the war. It was usually the same thing every dawn, this army retreated while the other was victorious. You saw no end to it all.

The palace walls were still warming up after the cold night that passed. You were grateful for the warm dress you picked out earlier that morning. Each servant that passed by greeted you and you responded with a soft “good morning” to each one. You were known to be kind and elegant. Your mother taught you well on the principles of how to be a princess. Even though it was rumored you were among the most beautiful princesses in Greece, you were sure you were the most boring. You kept to yourself and focused your energy on your people and your kingdom. You didn’t know how to entertain, let alone keep the attention of a man. If it wasn’t for the war, you’re sure you’d be stumbling from one match up to the next.

The throne room was grand and fitted for the rulers of the kingdom. Your father and mother’s thrones were the same in height, displaying the natural balance they shared in power. You were raised to believe that no man was allowed to keep you as a pretty ornate on his arm. You were born to rule, and that’s what you would do. The chair beside your father’s was yours. It was smaller, but no less striking and imposing. It was in this room you all listened to the pleas and demands of your people. The room has been empty of any subjects since the war began. You walked through the room and took a turn into another, more private room. This was where you and your parents met every morning.

“Good morning my darling y/n, how was your sleep?” Your father stood from the chair he was occupying. You smiled warmly at him and walked into his embrace.

“It was fine, father. Although I can see that yours wasn’t as peaceful.” You remarked. The bags under his eyes seemed more pronounced, and his hair continued to gray at lightning speed.

“War does that to a person I’m afraid. You’re old enough to understand.” The king said.

You gave him a look before your mother came in with a swirl of fragrance and poise. She captured everyone in the room in the grace she held herself in. You were in awe of her when you were little, and you hoped you could have a husband who looked at you like your father did your mother.

“Good morning mother. I was just telling father that he needs to prioritize his rest. He looks like he’s already preparing for Thanatos to come pay a visit.” You teased. Your father still had his arms around you and pinched your hip in retaliation. You squealed and jumped away.

“Yes he certainly does look that way doesn’t he? One could say he’s already in Hades’ domain.” Your mother replied. You heard your father huff in mock anger before the queen kissed his cheek in apology.

“Now that we have concluded the discussion on my withering, I have some news for the both of you.” Your father said. His face suddenly turned serious and the prospect of something finally changing in the war made you sit down in the chair beside his.

“Plague has struck all of the armies except ours. Even those participating in the coup against us have fallen gravely ill. I got this report this morning. I have yet to talk to a priest, but I am not sure if this is the work of a god yet.”

You blinked up at him while you tried to process his words. A plague had struck. Your army was spared but for how long? You picked at the skin beside your nails, a habit your mother has tried to break all your life. The woman in question looked horrified for a second before she composed herself. She was calm and collected whereas my father was brash.

“That’s not all; a warrior has risen among the armies. It seems that he fights alone. I’ve gotten reports that he plows through every brigade and unit mercilessly. He’s getting closer and closer to the castle each day.” Your father said grimly.

This news made your breath hitch. If the so-called warrior made it to the walls—no, if he made it passed them—he’d ask for a reward. You turned to look at your father and saw he was already looking at you.

“If he makes it here, he’ll ask for me as a prize, won’t he?” You asked.

Your father sighed and rubbed at his eyes. Such casualness was only reserved for you and his wife. In front of others he must always convey an act of indifference; not letting his emotions show. You knew giving your hand in marriage was something that had to be included in a peace offering. He wished he could keep you safe in the palace forever, but the bloody war had to come to an end.

“Father, it is alright if he does ask for my hand. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this war end. I want peace as desperately as you do. Our people have suffered too much.” You clasped his hand away from his face and into yours.

Your mother remained quiet, but you expected nothing less. She was more distant with you, having grown up in a different nation with different rules. She didn’t approve of your independence, but you knew she’d agree with you. The king seemed to age in his seat more as he debated your statement. You couldn’t stand to see him in this state any longer.

Before you could answer, your mother intervened, “It is decided then. If he does make it to the castle and gets past the walls, we will give him what he asks for. If that prize is y/n, we can use it to convince the other kingdoms to sign a treaty. The biggest prize would have been claimed and the war doesn’t need to continue.”

You digested your mother’s words and let go of your fathers hand so he wouldn’t feel the tremble in your fingers. You hoped the warrior slashing through all those men would be kind to you. You felt like a child again, hoping that fate would give you mercy for once.

The next morning, you were abruptly woken to the shouts of the guards outside your window. You stirred in your sleep, not paying much mind to the ruckus of men. Then you realized, those men were the ones guarding the walls. You jolted upright in your bed and swung the covers off of your body. The chill of the morning air bit at your exposed arms and legs. Clinging to the side of the window, you watched as the men outside all fought against a single enemy. At first, you were confused as to why it took so many of them. You didn’t see infantries and captains on horses. Then a single chill ran down your spine as you realized: the warrior.

You quickly opened your wardrobe and pulled out the first dress you could find. You hastily undressed yourself and put the dress on. If he made it past the walls, you needed to be present. It was just yesterday you were discussing this. Had he been that close already? Who was this man?

Having the dress securely on, you almost sprinted out the door of your bedroom. You hurried to the throne room where no doubt your parents were also arriving at. When you entered, you saw your mother sitting on her throne with her king pacing before her. You walked quickly to them and stood before their thrones gasping for breath. You made eye contact with your mother and for the first time in your life you saw nervousness. Your mother’s blatant show of emotions did nothing to stop the galloping of your heart.

The doors of the throne room were slammed open and you all turned towards the intruder. Standing before you was a man well over six feet. His hips had a white cloth around them that hung loose. His torso was bare and exposed, a clear sign of strength. No wounds were littering the ripples of muscle that shifted as he walked towards you. What armor he did have clanged as he walked; the bronze pieces were placed on his shoulders and around his calves. Dark brown sandals adorned his feet, and he held a mighty spear with one hand and a shield in the other. The shield had two wings adorned on it, a symbol that seemed almost familiar. Once he got close enough, he removed his helmet to reveal his handsome face. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were a forest green. His jaw was sharp and was clenched shut. His hair was past his shoulders and the brown accentuated his beautiful eyes.

You backed up against your father, and he came to stand before you. No words were spoken in the first few seconds, the shock of it all weighing on your shoulders. The warrior then inclined his head in a greeting. His lack of bow indicated he was someone important, of higher or equal standard to your father.

“Greetings. I have fought against many men and many armies to make it to this fortress. I heard a tale that a beautiful maiden was hidden away here. I have come to claim her as my prize.” The warrior said.

Your father didn’t react at first and you saw his fists clenched by his sides. Your mother soon came too and took his hand, instantly relaxing him.

“May we ask first who you are? It has been many years since this war began, and not one army has made it halfway to this castle. Yet here you stand, alone.” Your mother’s tone was curious.

“This war has been going on long enough, with no end in sight. As you said, no one has gotten remotely close to this castle. I thought it was about time I stepped in and put an end to things.” The warrior smiled and the wings on his shield glowed. I gasped as I finally remembered, the wings were the symbol of the gods. A man who obliterated armies and made it here alone was no man at all.

I stepped forward and passed my parents. The warrior—god, looked into my eyes and a warmth spread throughout my entire body. None of us spoke again, we stared into each other’s eyes as if looking for the answers to our own questions. I went through all the names of the gods and who would have any remote interest in a human war.

“I am Ares, god of war and brother to Zeus, king of the gods. I quite enjoyed the prayers and offerings this war brought to me in the beginning. But I believe this war has lasted too long now.” Ares said.

You felt a hand wrap around your arm before you were dragged back and into the chest of your father. You trembled in his grasp, not quite believing what you were hearing. The god of war has come to claim the prize all of Greece was fighting for. Not just any minor god either, an Olympian.

“Ares, god of war, you are welcomed into my home and in my kingdom. We will do our best to ensure your comfort and pleasure while you are here. But if I may be so bold, is my daughter really the only prize you want?” The king asked. You glanced at the glowing god before you and his eyes held a humor to them.

“Yes, I’d like your daughter’s hand in marriage. My siblings have claimed mortals as their spouses and I have yet to. Of course, if my wish is granted I will also stop the war.”

You froze at the last sentence. If you accepted his request, you could end the war for once and for all. You wove out of your father’s protective arms and turned towards the god of war. You took a deep breath in, looked at him in the eyes and curtsied as low as you could.

“I accept your request, my lord. So long as you end the suffering that my people have endured all these years, I will be your wife.” You said shakily.

Ares grinned as he lifted his hand towards you. You took his offered palm and he lifted you off the ground with ease. “Starting now, you will be my equal. You bow down to no one, not even to me.”

You widen your eyes in surprise before you nod your head. You turn back to your parents and a look of bewilderment overtook their features. Ares pulled on your hand some more until you were pressed against his side. His body radiates warmth and power. His smell was that of the hearth and firewood. It was intoxicating.

“Please announce the news that y/n is engaged. I will see to it that this war can finally end on peaceful terms.” Ares declared. Your parents looked at each other before they looked at you. You were still in shock of the events happening, but you gave them a reassuring nod. It was the start of something unforgettable.

Ares had kept his word and made sure the war ended. He revealed himself to the armies of Greece and declared your kingdom under his protection. Soon the armies dispersed and left your land barren for the first time in five years. The princess y/n was finally claimed, and Ares was the one who got her hand in marriage.

You spent most of your time enjoying the freedom you had once again. You were able to take strolls out in the gardens and pick more flowers for your bedroom. Ares had been occupied with the ending of the war, but he made sure to visit when he had the chance. He was witty, sarcastic, and everything a god should be. He was radiant and you quickly grew infatuated with him. He joined you on your strolls to the garden and helped you pick flowers. It had been months now since he first arrived at your castle, declaring that he would marry you. The wedding preparations were going as fast as they could after the end of a war.

You picked up a lily that you found and smelled it. The aroma made you sigh in delight. Arms suddenly encircled your waist and a strong chest pressed against your back. You kept the flower close to your face as you were turned to face the perpetrator. Ares glanced down at you and noticed the petals hiding the blush on your cheeks. He chuckled to himself and slowly moved the flower away from your face. He traced your features with his fingers and the gesture had your knees weak.

“We are intended to be married, yet you still blush in my presence.” He said.

“You are a god and I am a mere mortal. I still do not understand why you chose me as your prize.” You confessed.

He grew suddenly serious and you were afraid you had said something offensive. You opened your mouth to apologize when he leaned down to kiss you. His lips were as warm as the rest of him, and their softness made you melt against him. He grabbed your waist and pulled you towards him so his burning chest was against yours. You realized that he was always warm as if he was aflame. Your hands twitched before they reached for his shoulders. He sighed against your lips as they moved with practice and ease. His silky hair brushed against your fingers as you held onto his shoulders for support.

When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours and cupped your cheek. His thumb stroked against the blush still present on your skin. You blinked up at him, still in awe of the kiss he placed on your lips.

“I’ve heard about you for some time now. I knew of your beauty first and was intrigued. Then I watched over you and saw how truly cared for your people. You’d put their happiness over yours in a heartbeat. I admire that, you’d make a fine queen.” He said softly.

You let out a breath and used your grip on his shoulders to drag his addicting lips back to yours. You felt bold as you stood on the tips of your toes and crashed your lips against his. His shock only lasted a second before he cupped your face with both hands. The kiss was more intense than the first, a clear longing present in his tongue as it brushed against your lip. Electricity shot down to your toes as you granted him passage, and you didn’t know if kissing you was enjoyable due to your inexperience. His tongue prodded at yours and coaxed it into a dance that had your legs shaking.

Finally breaking apart, you looked into his deep green eyes once again. His mouth was pulled into a mischievous smirk, and you gave him a small smile in return. If he was to be your husband, you figured you could enjoy the pleasantries that came with your marriage.

“You make me feel like a mortal barely plunging into maturity. I can barely control myself around you.” Ares whispered.

“I am to be your wife, please don’t hold back.” You replied. Your eyes were sultry and he quickly grabbed your arm before pulling you back into the castle. Your chest was full of fluttering monarchs at the prospect of him finally letting go and indulging himself in you.

Servants and soldiers watched you with silent eyes as the god of war dragged you to your chambers. Your blush was evident, and you thanked his siblings for watching over you and placing your parents in another part of the castle.

The door to your bedroom was pushed open and once it closed Ares pushed your back against it. You huffed at the slight force and impact before your lips were once again trapped against his. He snaked his knee between your knees and pressed it against you. You gasped at the feeling and decided to be bold again as you grind down against his thigh. He groaned against your mouth before departing from it. He placed kisses along your jaw and sucked on the space just beneath it. He continued to place searing kisses on your neck as he used his leg to further drive you up the door.

“I won’t take you here, not until you have the security of our marriage as comfort. But there are other things we can do.” Ares mumbled into your neck. He pulled back to look at you, flustered and with lust swirling in your eyes. He suddenly reached under your thighs and lifted you up. Your legs wrapped around his lithe waist and he carried you towards your bed.

He gently placed you on the soft cushion and began to slowly untie your linen dress. You stroked his arms and admired the muscle that rippled under the skin like strong waves in a storm. Once your dress was untied, he pulled it up and you took the indication to sit up. He took the dress up and over your head as you lifted your arms. The dress fluttered onto the floor beside your bed as you laid back down. You were told all your life that your beauty could rival Helen’s, but you didn’t believe it until the god in front of you stared at you like you placed the cosmos in the sky.

He leaned down and began to place kisses down your chest until he reached your chest. He whispered praise against your skin as he took one into his mouth and held the other. You took in a sharp breath and let out a low whine as he worked you into oblivion. His tongue was running over your nipple and you squirmed beneath his strong body as he massaged the other. He finally relented and switched breasts until he had you moaning. He smirked up at you as you gasped in the air you desperately needed.

“I’ve barely just begun and you’re already so responsive. I can’t wait for our waiting night.” The god quipped. He trailed his lips lower until it got to the undergarments that covered you. He pulled them down from your hips and his eyes sparkled at how wet you were already. He placed kisses against your inner thighs as he pulled the piece of fabric off of your legs. Then he breathed against you until he placed his mouth on your clit. You threw your head back and cried out. You’ve touched yourself and are aware of what you like and don’t. But all of your preferences were forgotten as he ate you out like a starved man. He moaned against you as your hands reached down to pull on his hair. He licked and sucked on your clit until you were writhing in pleasure, but it wasn’t enough.

“Ares, please…” you whined.

“Use your words, darling. What do you need?” He said.

Your chest heaved as he continued to suck your clothes making you take longer to respond. “Need your fingers inside. Wanna feel them inside please.”

Evergreen eyes looked up at you, and the sight of the god of war between your thighs had you losing your breath. His hand resting on one of your legs came up to your entrance. He erotically licked his lips and slowly eased them into you. Your head was thrown back as you moaned into your pillow. He began to pump his long fingers until his hand was in up to his knuckle. He began to make a motion upwards that had the tips of his fingers press against a spot within you that made you yelp. He grinned up at you as he began to twist and push against the same spot. There was a pressure in your abdomen as he continued to pleasure you. Then his mouth was on you again and you were crying out his name.

“Ares! Yes, right there! Please, please make me cum. I want to cum, let me cum please.” You cried. Your pleading words increased his efforts and you moaned loudly. His hair was still gripped between your fingers and his unoccupied hand was digging bruises into your hip. You felt scorching hot pleasure shoot from your core to the rest of your body.

“Cum for me, y/n. Show me how good I make you feel.” Ares growled beneath you.

One final push and suck had you opening your mouth in a silent scream. The pressure in you finally released making you feel white hot pleasure. Your legs shook as Ares continued his ministrations, prolonging your orgasm into the realm of overstimulation. You whimpered once you came down from your high, pulling against his hair to indicate you were done. He looked up at you and he licked his lips as if the very ambrosia that gave him sustenance was placed within you. He licked his fingers in the same manner, and you felt your body heat up again at the display. He crawled up your body and captured your lips in a searing kiss. You tasted your essence and didn’t mind as his tongue pushed against yours.

He pulled away and laid beside you as he took you into his arms. “That was just a glimpse into the pleasure I can bring to you. When we are married, I’ll lay my claim on you in the most passionate way.”

You smiled up at him and placed your hands on his chest. This was barely the beginning of your life with him, and you couldn’t deny the want and need the thrummed within you. An Olympian, the very god of war chose you as his. You were ready to see what else that entailed.

#aot fanfiction #aot manga #aot anime #aot x reader #attack on titan #eren jäger #eren x you #eren x reader #anime #fanfic #aot fandom

113 notes · View notes

jaeminlore · 5 years ago

Text

bard!taeil ^_^

commissioned by @warmau luv u thank you for giving me free reign i’m sorry i used it all on world building

words: 5k+

a/n: sorry this is a bit late ! also for any mistakes !

okay first thought when given free reign of a story is PRINCE or ROYAL bc that is where my mind is for every story i love a good castle moment

i just think they’re neat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but yknow i was thinking about bards and also my skyrim game and how annoying yet precious the bards are in the inn. and if that is not taeil i will eat my own foot,,,,, like omg i forgot his name i think it’s mikael?? he’s at the inn in riften!!! i beat him up to preserve the honor of some lady and now we’re best friends ^_^ anyways he’s lovable and it makes me think of taeil

i miss taeil i read a post about how precious he is and it made me feel some type of way ,,,,, my favorite taeil era was cherry bomb bc the CHOKER and the EYELINER and he just felt like the embodiment of that tiktok sparkly filter

okay now that that’s over

this story is set in a lone kingdom called intima,,,, intima is a word meaning the heart of something and it’s where the word intimacy comes from and it makes me feel warm and happy so i assume it will make the people of intima happy too !!!!! it’s an island centered around the sun — and YOU my dear reader are the eldest princess, the first before six younger siblings !!!

as the oldest, the throne is in your future, and you are set to be the reigning queen WHICH you are quite excited about this isn’t one of those aus where you hate your kingdom and your job and serving,, you LOVE your people and your culture and you genuinely can’t wait to become queen

i’m going to set the world!!!! bc world-building gives me endorphins >.>

intima is a HEAVILY floral-filled island. the clivia (or bush lily) is the capitol flower, often associated with patriotism or pride for intima as an island!!! it’s the flower people pin to their chest during coronations or royal festivals!! and the yellow/orange/coral shades are often what you and your siblings wear to represent yourselves and your island.

intima is a land of equality!!! bc i said so!! and also because the culture is purely built on gratitude and kindness ,,,,, i like to think the spirituality or “religion” in the culture is the worship of the sun and the warmth it brings,,,, a sort of serving the thing that shines a path for the hopeless!!!! there are hundreds of poems and legends and songs about the sun and who she once was and why she blesses intima with her harvests and all kinds of other things and i do have the time to get into it but i know all of you do not

intima also believes that art is hard work!!! and it’s one of the most respected jobs there are!!! like a busker or a street painter are often praised and it’s expected of islanders to tip them and stay to praise them a bit!!! and usually they’ll sell their art (if that’s what they made) afterwards!!!! and poets will read for the children and adults alike and they’ll sell their services to like,,, people who struggle to put their words down on paper and it’s all very helpful and lovely

farmers and fishermen are well respected as well!!!! ofc they bring the food in and the vendors at the marketplace sell them while the artists keep entertainment going. it’s a lovely system and often as the seasons change people will shift their jobs so a vendor will decide to create for a season or a fisherman may decide he wants to sell wares,,, it’s a system so that people can enjoy where they are as well as express they’re creativity properly

and the wealth is distributed equally so that no one goes hungry!!! everyone helps each other out to find a job that fits them!!! and not many people take advantage of the system because it’s quite shameful to refuse helping your fellow neighbor

so yes!!! kindness and helping each other out is not only expected but it is often an indicator of how respected you are as a member of society

ungrateful people get the shame cone >:(

the island is HUGE and set in a sort of jagged star shape, with villages and markets surrounding the castle itself!!! and there’s a moat surrounding the castle made from the streams that trail in from the sea ,,,, and the harbors are quite beautiful if you stand atop the castle walls you can see the ships come and go and it is just *chef’s kiss* immaculate

and the moat is so beautiful i can just imagine the ferns!! like palm brush ferns and tiger lilies and birds of paradise just lining either side of the moat,,, so pretty :( and the moat isn’t to keep people out!!! it’s actually a natural pool for the villagers when it gets too hot :)!! but otherwise the drawbridge is always down so people can come and go throughout the courtyards

similarly, the castle walls run down the island as main roads, leading to the actual castle where the main courtyard sits.

you and your siblings are very personal with your subjects, and it’s not uncommon for the princes and princesses to walk hand in hand with those of a lower class than them,,,, esp bc there isn’t really a class system in place. since wealth is evenly distributed,,,, it’s evenly distributed to the royals as well, and everyone lives comfortably. the only added expense are gifts!!! so if there’s a birthday or something more wealth might be offered to the recipients by default

the courtyards!!! are so beautiful!!! there are four in total but the one i want to focus on is the coronation courtyard!!! this is the courtyard where the coronations and celebrations are held!!!

but when there aren’t any coronations, it’s where people hang out to have picnics or sell their wares or tell stories!!!

and this is where we see taeil!!!!

every day our hero brings his life and ~sings~ a different story to whoever happens to be walking by. he’s actually hugely popular with many of intima’s people,,,, mostly because his voice is like HONEY and his smile reminds everyone of home

he has like,,,,, kind big brother who only comes home for thanksgiving but each time is more memory-filled than the last energy ,,,,, anyways

you don’t actually notice him at first!!! because usually he isn’t in the coronation courtyard.

also you’re too busy planning your OWN coronation

#queenshit and all you know the vibes

it actually isn’t until yuta points out that there is a “very tiny man singing about how beautiful you are” in the courtyard that you’re actually like,,,, okay,,,,,, interesting..?

and at first you’re like shut up yuta i’m trying to work on seating placements you know ten from iacto can’t sit beside donghyuck from stella or they’ll start a prank war during MY coronation

also there are a lot of people who write songs about you and your siblings that’s just how the vibes are !!!!!

you and your siblings are known for your beauty and kindness, so many creatives often use y’all as muses

so you just brush it off

and go back to your planning

which actually consists of you begging your advisors to make little goodie bags for everyone on the entire island (they WILL eventually agree because who doesn’t want a small bee charm necklace or some cleansing crystals)

but i digress

it’s not until you visit the courtyard to finalize the seating arrangements that you actually see the man your brother was talking about

at first you don’t even realize it’s the same person

sure, this man is short, but he is nothing like the unattractie picture you painted in your mind. not that short men are unattractive, but most men who hit on you are often uhhhh creepy and old bc intima is a beautiful place but men are still a disease

this man is, dare you say it, handsome.

like prettily handsome

his hair is a warm chestnut that falls over his eyebrows in loose curls. strands curl and bend around his ears and his eyes are lined with what seems like kohl

his lips are pursed, and he’s too far away for you to hear him, but he seems to be singing

you tear your eyes away from his coral-colored jerkin and try to focus on the seating arrangements

in the end, you leave the work to your advisors, choosing to break away and listen to the lonesome bard

and just IMAGINE for a moment taeil singing like real people do by hozier

just taeil singing any hozier song i cannot get over the thought of it >_>

those are the vibes for this story

taeil a sexy irish bog man

not really but i’ll bookmark the idea for later !!!!

okay so imagine him singing real people do or sunshine and it’s so gentle and warm coming from his mouth that you’re entranced at the very start of it,,,, you’ve heard tales of sirens luring sailors into the sea,,, and they’ve always sounded quite far fetched but now that you’re hearing taeil’s voice you’re like,,,,,, maybe it’s possible

you sidle up to another listener and ask for his name

“taeil moon”

it’s a befitting name. you run it over your tongue for a good while until it feels familiar,,, and when the song is finally over, you clap and shout a few praises, thinking your voice would get caught in the crowd

but taeil catches your gaze, and he strums a sour note on his lute. it’s a swift apology and an even swifter exit as he leaves the courtyard.

you watch him go, unsure as to why he seemed so uncomfortable knowing you were there. “is he alright?” you ask the same listener who told you taeil’s name. they answer, “he’s never left a set before. perhaps you frightened him, princess.”

you DID frighten him. moving into taeil’s point of view, the man has been declaring his infatuation with you for months now and you’ve never come to listen. he suddenly feels naked and vulnerable,,, the one person he chose to write songs about is the future queen and he could very well be executed for such unauthorized poetry

(as if executing is something intima didn’t outlaw ages ago)

so taeil is just a tiny bit dramatic, and he clings to the honest hope that you came to his show late and didn’t hear his declaration. his “all my love songs of now and forever after are for the princess y/n” that he starts every set with. he feels like a fool, so he finds himself hiding in the royal gardens, far behind the brush and hedges, where a lone forgotten fountain rusts. still water bubbles out of the spout, but there isn’t enough for the fountain to actually flow, so it just makes an incredibly awkward gurgling sound as taeil strums his lute and tries to collect his thoughts

taeil doesn’t just like you because you’re the princess. it goes so much deeper than that; he has one faint memory of his graduation out of bards college (it’s a thing in skyrim so it’s a thing in my au) and it consists of you meeting with all of the graduates and giving them each a bush lily from your own personal garden,,,,,,, you also wrote everyone a handwritten letter addressing them by name !!!!!!!!!

and it’s not much to go by at all, and taeil would feel incredibly foolish even bringing up the memory, or the fact that he keeps the card in his memeriy box,,,,, because it’s obvious that you don’t remember him from it, but he can still remember the color of your eyes up close, and he knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end of your smile,, and just the memory of your fingers grazing his when you handed him the flower and card makes his cheeks warm with childlike fondness

he’s a fool, he knows. he’s also a coward, because he ran at the very sight of you

“you ran off before i could tell you how lovely your voice is.”

taeil falls into the rusting fountain as soon as you round the hedge. he has no idea how you managed to find him, but he can’t really think much about it because he’s soon coughing and shivering from the cold and dirty water he’s just fallen into. he mourns his lute,,,,,, just floating in the shallow water ,,,,,, it’s not dead it’s just wet :/

“oh dear i’m so sorry!” you grab his hand and help him out of the fountain, wincing at the way his clothes cling to his body. (Wait. wait. taeil’s lil baby tummy.... through the sheer shirt,,,,,,, like after he takes off his jerkin to dry it out :(((( omg he’s so cute) “i just wanted to compliment you.”

“thank you, princess,” taeil manages to get out. he paints a smile on his face even though he feels like he’s never been put in a more awkward situation. “it means a lot, honestly.” he decides to avoid the topic of having a crush on you, because he thinks he has experienced plenty of embarrassing moments today, thank you very much. so he changes the topic completely. “good luck, uh, on your coronation. i’m looking forward to it.”

you lower yourself into a mock curtsy. “why thank you. save me a dance during the after party, won’t you?”

taeil nods, not trusting himself to speak, and you bid him goodbye

y’all know taeil’s face where he’s just cheesin. like :D

that’s his face for the rest of the day. and every day up until the coronation !!!!!!

and you visit him!!!! when you can !!!!!!!!

taeil has a very easygoing personality i feel like after the initial awkwardness he’d actually be the one to initiate a friendship!!! like sometimes he leaves you letters by the old fountain !!!!!! :((((

and taeil’s letters are very friendly but every once in awhile he’ll slip in song lyrics that make your heart flutter!!!! just imagine your favorite love song or folk song written out by taeil to you because he learned it and it made him think of you :(( i’m crying and i know you’re crying

one day you have a picnic!!!!!!!!! and it’s just the two of you and taeil thinks he should be nervous but he genuinely does enjoy your company,,,,, and he kinda sort of slowly starts to think of you less as a muse and more as a friend,,,,,, or even maybe a potential ,,,,,,,,, l o v e r oooohhhhhhhh,,,, omg it’s so cute tho he lays out a blanket in front of the fountain and the two of you eat sandwiches and apple juice and :(( eventually the sun makes you both a lil tired so you fall asleep side by side

and you get kind of flustered when you wake up beside taeil like oh 😳 okay 😳 now 😳

the two of you hang around each other in secret. not because it’s against the law or it would be publicized or anything like that,,,, intima is a very casual island and no one would bother the two of you too much,,,,,,,,, but taeil feels like a little secret you aren’t sure you want to share ,,, also your brothers and sisters would tease you relentlessly for giving your time to someone KNOWN for singing love songs about you

your friendship w taeil feels a bit like a bird feather on a windy day,,,,,,, like one hesitant breath could blow him away,,,,,,,, but taeil is so FUNNY and warm and gentle and COMFORTABLE that you slowly start to feel yourself fall for him.

taeil is a story-telling bard in the way that the songs he sings often tell stories of his life or the life of someone famous, installed in their hearts from the moment they were all in elementary school. like imagine him singing a tale about the greek gods or norse mythology or perhaps he goes and bit more fairytale and songs of thumbalina or sleeping beauty

he’s an amazing storyteller, so much so that when the two of you hang out, he often recites some form of verse to you, especially if it’s a legend you love dearly (SIRENS) ,,,,,, but the one thing that kind of irritates you is that he has yet to sing you one of his legendary songs that are “supposedly” for you

you’re not trying to be prideful, but this is the lovely singer everyone has told you about, and you still haven’t heard any of his original songs. or at least, his original songs dedicated to you. you’re very curious to see what you look like in taeil’s eyes, even though it might make you feel horribly vulnerable.

and taeil is like :) obviously :) i’m not going to sing love songs :) about my crush :) to my crush :)

but it’s whatever.

what i want to talk about is the coronation babey !!!!!!!!!!!

it’s very public,,, in the middle of the courtyard,,, and all the market stalls are up selling their wares to the large crowd!!!!! and kids are playing in the moat !!!!! sort of a summer festival and you’re the main event lol. like some people will gather and watch the coronation and some people will be off dancing on the other side of the courtyard but everyone is celebrating the same thing!!

and this is a high fantasy setting so there aren’t any modern things like microphones or speakers aside from a copper horn or smth ,,, but it’s all very fun and festive!!!!

merchants are selling banners of orange and gold,,, yellow roses and tiger lilies,,,,,,, flower crowns and faux scepters for the little kids!!!!!! and there’s lively music for people to dance and celebrate to,,,,,, and can you guess who is in charge of the music !!!!?! TAEIL

he’s got an entire band leading the courtyard and it’s all traditional songs for the most part of taeil is able to slip in a few love songs now and again. and ofc everyone loves them bc they know taeil and OBV it’s hard to hate taeil

but :( you aren’t really focusing on the music since it’s such a big day for you but if you were you’d know that taeil is singing his original songs :((( all the love songs about you,,,,,,,,,,

and i SWEAR i can imagine taeil singing hozier-esque songs..... omg or like mystery of love ,,,,, imagine him singing mystery of love on one side of the courtyard while you’re getting crowned queen on the other side

that image is something that can be so personal to me ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

:(((( and you’re dressed in a tan and peach maiden dress,,,, cloaked in golden silk with day lilies tucked in your hair,,,,,,,,, omg or BRAIDED into your hair,,,,,, you just look like a sun goddess okay golden by harry styles are the vibes ALRIGHT babes,,,, and there’s a speech to be made and someone made cake for the masses,,, so you get a bit caught up it everything

taeil isn’t really in the crowd for the coronation as i already stated before ,,,,, but he can kind of hear everything that’s happening and it makes him just smile to himself as he messes with his lute :((( omg if you guys haven’t heard you are gold by the national parks THATS the song taeil sings as the celebrations are dying down

and all the street lanterns are lit and people are quieting down and eating or chatting or rounding up their kids for bedtime !! omg little kids racing past and giggling, their flower crowns askew as they shout about becoming a queen one day :( that’s so cute esp to imagine taeil watching them fondling and waving at them as they pass

and there are fireflies all around!!!! lighting the pathway!!! it’s just so cute and soft and lovely think tangled at last i see the light scene OKAY except it’s not on water it’s a festival and it’s beautiful every seems to be glowing in the light

this au is partially inspired by tangled,,, or the kingdom of corona (lol) so

anyways back to you are gold

the chorus is as so: “you are gold / you are all i see / you are aurum scarce and meant for kings / and i will wait if it’s time you need / what i see in you i hope you find in me.”

and can’t you just SEE taeil singing that absentmindedly not really knowing that you’re making your way to him and then he just looks up during the final chords and he just,,,,,,, fumbles the music and his voice cracks a little (but how COULDNT it bc you’re so beautiful and angelic and taeil could easily picture the stars against your skin and in the shade of your eyes)

“h-hi,” he stutters. “you look. nice.” :D

i think taeil is pretty confident with his feelings but i also feel like he can be quite clumsy with them as well. if that makes sense. but on the other hand confessing to the now-queen of your island is a bit much and taeil isn’t really ready to be rejected on a regal level.

“thank you,” you say. AND!!! you can feel your cheeks get hot because taeil is quite handsome and you DEFINITELY heard the last few lyrics of the song and it ignited feelings inside of you that you weren’t sure you’ve felt much of before.

you kind of just want to take his hand and go spend some ~ alone time ~ with him ^_^

“you know,” you sit down beside him and wrap your cloak around yourself. “everyone has been telling me that you’re quite famous for dedicating your love songs to me. how come i haven’t heard such declarations?”

taeil’s ears turn red and he smiles down at the lute in his lap. “isn’t it a bit disrespectful to make you listen to all the songs i write for you?”

“i want to hear them!! genuinely!!”

can you just IMAGINE taeil holding eye contact and singing sunshine by hozier >:( or like ANY song by ray montangue for today we’re pretending taeil wrote all of these

hold you in my arms by ray montangue YOO :((

just taeil strumming and singing sort of under his breath because he doesn’t really want anyone else to share this lil moment with you. and he’s so sweet like i imagine after he sings he doesn’t expect any praise and he certainly doesn’t expect you to confess your love or anything like that

bc taeil is a respectful future king

LIKE JUST IMAGINE kind of grabbing his face and just giving him a lil kiss,,,,, a lil smooch,,,,, if you will

taeil is probably rlly pretty just after being kissed like his eyelashes would flutter so prettily and it would be so soft like he’d just press his forehead against yours and then omg a FOREHEAD KISS like a really gentle one

you would be so important to taeil like i think he would just be so gentle with you in every way

the relationship is a slower one,,,,,, you have queenly duties and he’s still working as a busker,,,,, getting ready to help the merchants in the winter,,,,,,,

but the two of you make time. it’s similar to before, you just set up picnics, or sometimes you watch him sing, and he’ll write you love songs and send them to you through a letter,, stamping with purple wax,,,

and taeil is always so sweet :( i think he’s more of a casual lover in the sense that he doesn’t need pda or loud declarations in order to make you feel loved flashback to him dedicating every love song to you in the middle of the square but he’d be the type to just hold your hand around the courtyard,, or he’d just send you soft smiles from the other side of the marketplace

he’s the time to buy you a basket of your favorite fruits and deliver them personally to your door

everyone in the castle just lets taeil into the chambers section at this point

the two of you will swim in the moat and play hopscotch with the village children or go shopping together or take naps beneath the afternoon sun and with taeil by your side it’s all so fond and precious and some times you’ll go days or weeks without seeing him just because of schedules but it’s never awkward when the two of you get back together

and it’s actually not until some of your very own villagers are coming up to you like hey,,,,, why haven’t you made taeil your partner yet?? he’s so precious and sweet and he would look lovely in a crown 👀👀

and uhhh who are you to argue with that lmao

so you buy taeil a ring

a pearl !!!! encased in silver <3333 i like to think that the tales he sang to you about sirens often slides to a pearl of some sorts,, so you make sure it’s the rock you place on the ring

and you take him back to that rusty old creaky old ugly old fountain :)

and you just,,,,,, ask him to marry you ,,,,,,,,,,

ofc taeil says yes, a bit frozen because the two of you have talked about marriage but only briefly,,, and he wasn’t sure you’d ever take that step so he didn’t want to pressure you

taeil ofc has always been ready,,, his soul is more open than yours if that makes sense !!! which isn’t a bad thing but he has definitely been ready for a lifetime with you for a long time now

and it’s a long-ish engagement i feel like

not that it really matters but it’s more of a betrothement !!!! so the two of you are technically already married even before the ceremony if that makes sense??? like everyone alludes to taeil as the consort and the two of you live together and receive gifts of betrothement and !!! it’s quite sweet and it’s the way they do things in intima

also you guys aren’t in a big hurry for another ceremony esp bc yuta’s coronation is coming up and you don’t want to take any of his spotlight

king!yuta hold up

but yeah taeil is a wonderful consort !! doesn’t do much yet politically bc he isn’t especially versed in politics but he’s learning!!! he’s really good at keeping a good energy in the room even if two ambassadors are fighting taeil will just be vibing like :-D and it often calms tensions

he’s just a GREAT person and a helpful ruler even tho he really doesn’t even have to be,,,, he’s just a consort,,,, but he still takes the effort to learn genuine laws and help guide the people

the people are obviously obsessed with him,,, they wouldn’t ask for another consort because he’s so kind with all of them

still sings in the courtyard as his job ,,, and the people love it just as much ^_^ esp because now all the songs are openly for you and about you and it makes people more fond of you as well

taeil creates y/n propaganda pass it on

but he works in the castle too,, and he’s a fast learner especially when it comes to settling arguements within the village or even within the court,,,, he also sets up festivals !! he’s wonderful at it !! genuinely !! taeil as an interior designer i can just see it man him designing flower arrangements and the setlist and just !! being a wonderful host

and tbh you’re very thankful because it’s nice to rule with siblings but it’s even nicer to rule with a soulmate

and taeil feels just like that — a soulmate, a missing piece of the puzzle,,,,,

and if intima is the sun , if you who rules it is the sun, then taeil is the moon,, and it’s quite obvious that the two of you were made for each other

perhaps in the future the two of you will have kids or adopt

or you guys get a puppy!!! i can see you w a puppy and taeil with a kitten and the two lil pets just follow you guys around omg

the two of you fix up the old fountain so it isn’t rusty or squeaky anymore

you guys find rocks out on the shore and create a new bed at the bottom of the fountain

and guess what!!!! you guys write little wishes on the rocks and invite everyone else to do the same with the idea that once the fountain is filled with wishes, you’ll hold a festival where you put the wishes back into the sea to be completed

omg how cute would that be like a yearly thing where the fountain would be filled with rocks and everyone gets a handful to take down to the beach and throw into the sea

it’s where lovers write their names and people confess to their crushes and anniversaries and birthdays are celebrated and it’s where artists write pictures and poets write verses and people write prayers to the sun

and it’s where you and taeil announce your first pregnancy >.<

and it’s really soft

the place between the sea and the sun is where your love lies

where your family lives

omg taeil singing lullabies to his baby :( HES be such a sweet dad

i feel like taeil already has a family just by his vibes yknow

but say it’s a daughter he’d teach her how to play the lute and he’d buy her her own

he’d let her express herself in any way and identify however she’d want and love whoever she wanted

he’d be an AMAZING father and husband and king

ANYWAYS to conclude

this was fun to write and i hope it made sense i know it’s all over the place but in conclusion taeil is sexy and deserves to be loved

#taeil au #nct au #taeil fluff #nct fluff #commissioned #destwrites

81 notes · View notes

lovelybuccky · 6 years ago

Text

Three Things That Are Certain (Chapter 7)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Your mother once taught you that when you feel afraid, you should look at your surroundings and find at least three things that are certain, just three things that you know to be true. However, a collection of photos are found from different points in history, and you are in every single one. Questions are being raised, and you are finding it more and more difficult to name those three things. But he is there to remind you of what they are.

Warnings: Violence, profanity, graphic violence and descriptions of pain in later chapters.

A/N: Right, imma be real with you here. I found this chapter really hard to write and I still don’t like it, but I just wanna post it because it’s been so long since I posted the last chapter. I’m excited to write the next few chapters because we’re starting to get somewhere in this story, but yeah. This one was tricky. I’m sorry! I hope you enjoy it anyway hahaha.

Previous Chapter

Previously...

The night is filled with laughs and smiles, a few carefree hours in an otherwise extremely intense week. You feel warmth bubble in your chest and you let yourself relax into the group, finally starting to feel less like a lab rat seeing yourself and everyone else as what you all are - human beings.

Maybe you could get used to this. Maybe you could hold on a little longer.

Maybe, just this once, you can allow yourself the privilege to love again.

***

2 months later

“Sam! You can’t do that!”

“It was self-defence.”

“You pulled my hair!”

“Any attacker could pull your hair, Y/N! You need to be prepared for these things!”

“Jerk!”

“Brat!”

Steve, Nat and Bucky chuckle quietly form the sidelines as you and Sam “train” - though there is definitely more bickering going on than sparring.

Gentle training had started around a month ago, and it was mainly to determine how physically fit you were and to prepare you for when you eventually left the compound. However, much to their surprise, you held your own in every fight against every Avenger, and frankly, they were impressed. So impressed even, that they offered you a job.

Not as an Avenger, though. Considering your situation and condition, missions would be too risky and, most importantly, your safety would be jeopardised. Instead, they gave you the responsibility of training new agents in self-defence; that was your speciality after all. You were hesitant to take the job, but reluctantly you agreed, telling yourself that it was the least you could do whilst they let you stay at the compound. And besides, it would keep you busy.

Now, training with the Avengers was simply to keep you fit and on your toes. You laugh and you have fun, but they don’t patronise you by going easy. They don’t hold back, and neither do you.

At least, you don’t think so.

Bucky watches you with razor sharp focus, noting every punch, dodge and kick. It’s a pretty even fight between you and Sam, but with every strike you make, he notices one thing - you hesitate.

It’s only for a split second each time, something that nobody notices. Nobody except Bucky.

Like just now, you ducked instantly as Sam threw a punch your way, but as you went to punch his stomach, there was once fleeting moment where you stopped. It was this that made Bucky remember that you learned these skills not out of choice, but out of fear. You weren’t a soldier who chose to march onto the battlefield, not a vigilante who chose to hunt down the bad guys. You were a child, a child who just wanted to survive, and that made Bucky see red.

His trance is broken by a grunt from Sam.

“Shit, Y/N!”

“What?” you reply innocently.

Sam was now curled up in a ball as he lay on the mat, “You-you can’t just-kick a man…there.”

You smile sweetly, “It was self-defence. Any attacker could kick you in the balls, Sam! You need to be prepared for these things!”

“Alright you two,” Steve interrupts, trying to hide the laughter in his voice. He fails. “That’s enough for today, tomorrow we’ll do more defence work, then move on to some team exercises.”

“Ooo can’t wait,” Nat groaned, though the wink she throws at you sends you both into giggles as you hoist Sam to his feet, “Thanks for training today, Sam. You might wanna put some ice on that though.”

Sam sticks his tongue out at you as he give you a playful shove, “You’re just lucky you’re cute.”

Bucky knows it’s a joke, and the snort in your laugh tells him that you know it too, but that doesn’t stop the little twinge in his chest. It’s just a joke, why has it sparked such a reaction in him? He has no idea what it is, but he knows it’s pissing him off.

Sam follows Steve and Nat out of the gym, leaving just you and Bucky. You start to pick up your things when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around, “Oh, hello, Sir. Did you need something? Hearing aid broken? Want help crossing the road? Shall I pass you your cane?”

Bucky rolls his eyes, “You’re hilarious. C’mon, my turn.”

He struts towards the mat. You cock an eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

“Sparring. You and me.”

“Right now?”

A smirk, “Right now.”

You throw your bag back onto floor, following him to the mat. “Oh, Buck, I thought you’d never ask,” you purr, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

He rolls his eyes again, though more playfully this time, “Focus, Y/N,” you both square up. “Hit me.”

“What-”

You blink, and suddenly you’re on floor, staring up through squinted eyes at Bucky as he holds his hand out for you. You hit it away and push yourself onto your feet, “What the hell was that?!”

“You hesitated,” Bucky said evenly, “you gotta act the moment you get the chance, not a second later, got it?”

“Yes, Mr Barnes.”

You continue sparring for around half an hour, and Bucky shows you no mercy. You give it your all until you unceremoniously collapse on the floor and refuse to move, “Okay, I get it, Buck. No more hesitating, I’ll work on it.”

He can’t help the grin that creeps up his face, “You sure you don’t want another round?”

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“So lazy,” he says with a wink as he flings your gym bag over his shoulder, “We’ll pick this up again tomorrow, but right now you’re in desperate need of a shower.”

“Nope. No can do. You’ve broken me. I can’t move, I’ll have to lay here forever,” you state dramatically.

He sighs, “Not even if I baked you cookies?”

You peak your eye at him then, “You bake?!”

“They suggested it to me in therapy, something about ‘mindfulness’, gives you something to focus on. And I’m a terrific baker, thank you very much!” You laughed at that, and made Bucky smile in return. “So, what do ya say? Coffee and cookies at around noon?”

You pretend to think about it, humming and scratching your chin. After a few moments, you finally drag yourself off the floor, “Fine, but they better be some pretty damn good cookies.”

Bucky chuckles, “Oh, trust me, they’re the best. Just like Ma used to make ‘em.”

“Softy.”

“Shut up.”

A trail of giggles follow you as you leave the gym, your previous lethargy soon forgotten.

***

You bounce onto the couch, two cups of coffee in hand. You hand Bucky his as you take a sip of your own, your hair still damp from your shower. Curling up on the couch you turn to face him, “So, these are the famous cookies, huh?” you say, nodding towards the plate on the coffee table.

“Yes ma’am.”

Bucky reaches over and grabs the plate, holding it under your nose. You study each one in search of the perfect cookie. You examine them for longer than necessary, brows furrowed. Bucky chuckles at your evidently intense concentration. Finally, you choose the cookie that is the perfect golden-brown, and has just the right distribution of chocolate chips. You take your time with your first bite, savouring the taste, but it’s not long until your eyes widen and Bucky throws his head back with laughter.

“Jesus Christ.”

“So you like ‘em?”

“They’re fucking glorious,” you state, crumbs falling from your mouth as you try to speak.

A chuckle, “Like I said, Ma’s recipe.”

“Well, thank you Ma.”

The conversation is pretty light as you continue to munch on the baked goods and sip on your coffee. Somehow throughout the conversation, you had swung your legs on Bucky’s lap and covered you both with a blanket, a distant murmur of the radio playing in the background as he rubs circles on your knee.

You had found yourself doing this more in the last month, this unnecessary physical contact. But there’s nothing sexual about it and you certainly don't have an objective, it’s just become a comfort for you, and Bucky doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he appreciates it. He’d become used to people running away from him in fear and tip-toeing around him as if he could snap at any moment, but the way that you feel safe with him and find comfort in his presence makes his soul glow.

You peak up at him from behind your mug, mischief etching your features, “So, Steve tells me you were quite a dancer back in the day.”

“Oh God.”

Your smirk grows wider, “So it’s true? How you used to ‘woo’ all the dames with your killer moves and boyish charm?”

“Okay first of all, I’m gonna kick his stupid star-spangled ass.” You snort at that. He smiles, “Secondly, I was the best dancer in Brooklyn, no lady could resist.”

You roll your eyes fondly, “And he’s modest,” you nudge him with your shoulder, “It doesn’t matter anyway, you could be the worst dancer ever and I would have no clue.”

“No?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have anything to compare it to.”

He stops, “Oh c’mon, don’t tell me you never went out dancing.”

“Well, I never really got the chance. People my age only started going out when they turned sixteen, and when I was sixteen…”

Your voice trails off, but Bucky understands where it was going. Your smile remains, but the light behind your eyes has faded, and Bucky’s heart aches. You really did have your whole life stripped away from you, leaving you bare in the cold grasp of Hydra. You never got to live your life. You never even got to dance.

Well that just wouldn’t do.

Bucky leaps out of his place on the couch and heads towards the speakers. He’d managed to convince Tony let him make a playlist of all his favourite songs from the 40s, which wasn’t quite the same as playing the original records, but it had to do. He scrolled through the list to find the perfect track before strolling back to where you were on the couch and stretching his hand out for you to take, “C’mon, doll, can’t leave a man hangin’.”

You pretend to consider his offer, looking back and forth between his hand and his face. Finally you give in and take his hand as he pulls you to the centre of the room.

It’s messy, no real sense of rhythm or grace, but Bucky doesn’t care; as long as he can hear the laughter spilling from you lips. Sure, you step on his foot a few times, and sure you are practically dragging him across the room as you attempt a ‘tango’, but he doesn’t care. You sound happy and confident, an almost completely different woman to the one he made coffee for at three in the morning. God, he thought to himself, that was only two months ago. Time really does fly by when-

“You need some help, Barnes? That lady seems to be manhandling you. Blink twice if you need me to call security.”

“Ha-ha, very funny Tony.” Your arms fall down from around his neck, and he's only just realising how close you were standing. Not that it bothers him, why would it?

“Well, if you're done frolicking around then I have an announcement for you two. Next week I’m hosting a gala to raise money for…”

Tony continues giving all the details about dress-code and special guests and what not, but Bucky’s no longer listening. The only thing he’s concentrating on is how he felt you tense up at the word ‘gala’. He looks down at you, your eyes appear focused on Tony but he can see the panic behind them. He looks back to Tony, “Okay, Stark, thank you. We’ll do our best to help with preparations.”

“I’m glad. If you have any questions, ask Pepper.”

And with that, he was gone. Bucky turned you to towards him, scanning your face, “Hey, you okay?”

You tilt you head up towards him, the intensity of his gaze suddenly making you feel very exposed, “Yeah, yeah I’m good. It’s just…” You pause, considering you next words, “It’s the first time being back in the public eye, you know? It’s been a while, and considering what happened last time…”

“Hey, hey, you don’t have to go if you don’t feel comfortable. I can tell Tony-“

“No, no, it’s okay. Thank you, but I think it would be good for me. Sure it’ll be a little difficult, but I’m always up for a challenge.”

“…Apart from when we're sparring.”

“That’s rude.”

The tension melts away as laughter fills the room once more, but there's still the faint sounds of alarm bells ringing in your head. It’ll be fine, you tell yourself, you’re friends with the Avengers for crying out loud, nothing will go wrong. You're safe.

…Right?

***

Next Chapter // Masterlist

A/N: Yeah...I told you, not great. But I’m proud that I actually managed to finish it lmao. Any feed is really appreciated!

Tags:

@letsthedogpackandthecats // @joe-mazzello-is-my-dad // @xenwayy

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes

37 notes · View notes

ktrsss1fics · 8 years ago

Note

I love that you want to write Fergie and Niall drabbles! Can you please write about Fergie really struggling with her work load and being quite stressed and how Niall tries intervenes because he cares about her and is worried!

Georgina was swamped. Her co-worker Debra decided to go on maternity leave a month earlier than planned. All the cases she was currently assigned to had to be given to other people. Instead of distributing her work amongst the team evenly, they were all given to Georgina. She was the fastest worker and the only member on the team that worked well under pressure.

This meant that she was going to be logging more hours than necessary. This also meant her social life was going to take a massive hit.

She had already missed two movie nights, a group dinner at her favorite sushi place, and a girls luncheon at Jenna’s flat. She was currently bailing on fight night at Keith’s, which she wasn’t too torn up about.

But a certain someone was offended that she wouldn’t be making an appearance.

He’d already called twice. He was in town for a bit and hadn’t seen her yet. After the third call, she picked up.

“You’re on speakerphone Horan.” She called out leaving her phone on the coffee table in front of her.

“You goin’ over to Keith’s, Fergie?” His thick accent caught her off guard. She hadn’t heard it in a while.

“Not tonight.” Georgina sighed. “I’ve got too much stuff to do for work.”

“Oh.” Niall said sounding disappointed.

“I know.” She replied focusing on a file on her laptop screen. “Not a big fan of Debra at the moment.”

“What’d she do now?” He asked smiling at the sass in her voice.

“Had un protected sex with her fella seven months ago.” Georgina grumbled.

“I thought she wasn’t goin’ on leave until next month.” He said confused.

“So did everyone else.” She said. “I guess she wanted to surprise us all. Being the great bosses they are, Kath and Kim have given me all her cases on top of my full load.”

“Well that’s bull shit.” He said.

“Tell me about it.” Georgina sighed.

“You have dinner yet?” Niall asked.

“Nope. Don’t have time for it.” She said highlighting a line from the printout on her lap. “I have too much to do.”

“That’s not–” He started to say but she interrupted him.

“Not healthy. I know but I’ll grab a snack or something.” She said quickly.

“Fergie–” Niall said.

“I’m fine. I promise.” She said looking at the clock on the screen. “You’re gonna be late if you don’t leave now.”

“Why are you so stubborn?” Niall sighed into the phone.

“You’d have to ask me mother.” Georgina shot back. “Anyways, have fun tonight Horan. Don’t get too drunk.”

“Alright Fergie. Hope you get everything done.” He said before hanging up the phone.

As soon as the call ended, it was back to work. She was scanning documents, highlighting paperwork, and creating folders to send to the lawyers at the firm. She was so busy she hadn’t realized someone was at her door. When the doorbell rang a second time, she got up from her makeshift office on the couch and answered it. Standing with a backpack and two bags of take away was a person she didn’t expect to see.

“What are you doing here Horan?” She asked inviting him inside.

“Grabbed some take away from Molly’s and figured you could use some help.” He shrugged heading towards her kitchen.

“Really?” Georgina asked, surprised he’d be willing to help her out.

“Yeah. Brought me laptop and figured if you used both you’d get done faster.” He said placing the food on the counter.

He grabbed some plates from the cupboard. “And you not eating dinner is unacceptable so I got you a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings and a side order of fries just in case you wanted those instead.”

Georgina just watched him in shock. No one had ever done this before. No one had ever offered to help when she was stressed out. No one had brought her food because they were concerned that she hadn’t eaten. No one cared that much.

She was impressed. Niall was very sweet.

“Horan…” She paused.

“Before you go bitchin’ and complainin’, I know what it’s like to be so stressed it’s overwhelming so just let me help.” He said looking up at her. “Okay?”

“Yeah. Sure.” She blushed heading into the kitchen to help him out.

“Do you wanna eat in here?” He asked grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge. “Or do we need to go back in there?”

“We can take a quick break to eat.” She said taking their plates to the table.

“Good.” He said cracking open their bottles.

Niall took a seat beside her and got ready to eat the biggest hamburger she’d ever seen. He ripped open a bag and dumped the fries and rings on top for them to share. He handed over a bottle and started eating.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” Georgina said trying to break the silence that had formed.

“I used to wear them for fun but I actually need them now.” He laughed. “Sad right?”

“They look good.” She smiled. “They make you look older – smarter even. ”

“And sexier. I know.” Niall wiggled his eyebrows making her laugh.

“Thanks for getting this.” She said between bites. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

“No problem.” He said pressing the bottle of beer to his lips.

“You were fine with missing the fight?” She asked grabbing a handful of rings.

Niall nodded as he swallowed his drink.

“Wasn’t it supposed to be a good one?” Georgina asked nibbling on a ring.

“Yeah but you needed help. There will be more fights.” He shrugged.

“You are the only person who has ever offered to help me when this kind of thing happens.” Georgina admitted. “Not even Britt has offered.”

“Well I don’t like to see my friends suffer. I know what it’s like to have to work more hours than humanly possible and what kind of toll it takes on a person.” He said focusing on his burger. “I didn’t want to see it happen to you.”

“Well I really appreciate it.” Georgina said awkwardly. “You caring n all that.”

“So what am I going to be doing?” He asked trying to change the subject.

“I think I’ll have you scan documents. They are already labeled. You just have to put them in folders so I can email them.” She explained. “You don’t mind using your computer?”

“Wouldn’t have brought it if I did.” He smiled.

“Brilliant.” She said before washing down a few bites of her burger.

Georgina and Niall worked well past midnight. They went through two films on FXM and a little bit of a Friends rerun. Their eyes were dry from staring at the screen too long and a small headache had began form in the young woman’s brain. Niall laid on the floor while she put the finishing touches on a few of the folders.

“You have to do this for every case the firm takes on?” He asked interested.

“Yep. Every single case.” She said keeping her eyes on the screen.

“And it doesn’t get boring?” Niall asked.

“S'get boring writing new songs?” She asked glancing over at him.

He shook his head. “Not really.”

“It’s like the same thing.” She said letting a yawn slip out. “Each case is a new song.”

“When you graduated from uni, did you see yourself doing this?” He asked fighting back the urge to yawn.

“Kinda but not really. I knew I wanted to help people.” Georgina explained. “I give the lawyers the info they need to try to win. They just have to put it all together. And we all hope for a good result. Without me, they work too much and don’t have a chance to focus on the facts of the case at hand.”

Niall smiled. “That’s a good way to look at it I suppose.”

“Most people find it boring.” She shrugged. “I think I’m perfect for the job.”

“You’re not boring.” He yawned.

“Well thanks but I was meaning that I like research and I’m really organized.” She said. “That’s why I always get the extra work.”

“If you uh ever need help and I’m in town, don’t be afraid to ask.” Niall offered.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She said before looking at the clock. “Oh wow, its late.”

“Are you done?” Niall asked sitting up.

“Just need this one to save and then I am done. You can go if you want.” She said shyly. “I’ve kept you long enough. I don’t want you to be too tired to drive home.”

“I don’t live that far, Ferg.” He laughed.

“Yeah but its late and crazy people could be on the road and I don’t want to be the reason you get hurt.” She rambled on. “All of your fans would find out and then I’d be a dead woman.”

“Are you actually caring for another person, Fergie Ferg?” He gasped.

She chucked a pillow at his head. “It’s only because I’m exhausted and you were nice enough to bring me onion rings.”

“Good to know.” He said getting to his feet.

“Thank you again for dinner and for all the help. I hope I didn’t bore you too much.” She said with a sincere smile.

Niall ran his hand through his hair. “I actually learned quite a bit. And I uh mean what I said. If you ever need help, let me know and I’ll be there.”

Georgina just smiled as he started to pack up his things. Once the files were saved, she closed her laptop and grabbed her phone ready to call it a night. The pair headed to the door in silence.

“Well it’s been fun, love.” Niall said pulling her into a bear hug. She rested her head on his chest as he held her tight. “I hope you don’t have to go in tomorrow.”

“I get to go in late.” She yawned into his chest.

“Call in sick.” He yawned back.

“I wish I could.” She said as he let her go.

“I could get ya a doctor’s note.” Niall said with a cheeky grin. “I know a guy.”

“Keith’s roommate said he was gonna stop doing it for us.” Georgina laughed.

“He said he was gonna stop helping Keith because Keith fucked up. He still likes me.” Niall said proudly.

“Everyone likes you Mr. Ego.” She teased.

Niall rolled his eyes dramatically before turning around to head for the door.

“Text me when you get home.” She said instinctively.

“Oh yeah, why?” He asked.

Georgina shoved him playfully, “So I know you made it back alive.”

Niall smirked as he opened the door “Uh huh sure.”

“Get out of me house, ya pervert.” She said making him laugh.

#cip #fergie and niall #send me questions about fergie and niall

27 notes · View notes

motivationsuccess · 5 years ago

Link

Believe in Yourself! You’re Worth it! by Stuart Goldsmith

Stuart Goldsmith

Belief is the first and most important secret of happiness and success.

How much do you believe in yourself? How much do you think that other people or circumstances control your life?

Right now, at this very moment, you are reading this sentence at a certain stage in your life. Think about your life for a minute or two.

Think about the financial side, for a start. How well off are you? Take a look around you at your possessions; think about your bank balance and savings account (if you have either), think about your total wealth.

Now do a little exercise: On a piece of paper, add up your total wealth, (this can be done in a very short period of time).

Do it roughly; there's no need to be exact. Write down your big assets first, with an approximate price next to them, then your most expensive possessions, then the approximate value of your other possessions.

The result could look something like this:

House (less mortgage owing) £25,000 Car £1,000 Total savings £2,500 T.V. £200 Video £300 Jewellery £1,000 Household equipment (cooker etc) £2,000 HI-FI £200 Other household items £3,000 All furniture £5,000 Clothes £2,500

TOTAL £42,700

You may think that the person in the above example is rich, or poor, depending upon your own circumstances. That doesn't matter; just write down your own figures and add them up.

Please don't skip this exercise or any of the others which I suggest; they are a vital part of your training. I know the temptation is just to carry on reading; but fight it! Take time out to do the exercises; they will pay huge dividends.

Now look at your total. How do you feel about your total financial worth? Are you happy or unhappy about it at this stage of your life?

The chances are that you would like to do better; probably a lot better.

Now I want you to try something: Imagine being in a better financial position. Strongly visualise yourself driving the car you really want or living in the house you have always desired; spend a little time over this until you can really imagine yourself in this better position.

Now ask yourself a vital question:- "Do I believe that I am worth this?" Ask yourself this question now. Think about it for as long as it takes to come up with an answer; (and that can be a surprisingly long time for such a simple question).

Think about the house or the room(s) where you live. The chances are that you want a better place to live, I have never met anyone who didn't; so think about the next step up for you.

If you live in one room, imagine your own self-contained flat.

If you live in a flat, or a semi, imagine that you are in your own detached house.

If you live in a detached house, think about a larger one with more rooms in a more exclusive area. Hold the image in your mind and ask yourself, "Am I worth it? Do I deserve this?"

Don't be distracted by practical considerations of how you might achieve this step forward, just ask yourself if you believe that you deserve it.

If the answer is an emphatic "YES!" then great; you are well on your way to achieving more. If the answer comes back as "NO" or you are unsure, then join the club of millions of people who have not yet started to believe in themselves. Right now you are totally trapped by your lack of belief. No wonder you don't have the things you want - like a nicer place to live. You don't believe that you are worth it!

Until you start believing in your own worth, there is not a single chance in ten thousand that you will ever achieve the happiness you really deserve. Why? Because no matter how hard your conscious self works towards achieving these things, your subconscious knows that you are not worth it! Your subconscious will go to great lengths to sabotage all your efforts and ensure failure - your conscious and subconscious minds will not be working as a team!

In fact they will be pulling in opposite directions, like a tug of war. Unlike most tug of wars, where the teams are evenly balanced, in this case the odds are highly uneven because the subconscious ALWAYS WINS...unless you use the correct methods.

What will happen if your conscious mind is trying to improve your lot in life, but your subconscious mind is working, like an underground resistance organisation, to foil your plans?

I'll tell you. Your best laid plans and efforts will 'accidentally' come to grief. You will make silly mistakes which will ensure failure. You will have a terrible run of 'bad luck', or maybe sudden ill-health will prevent you from attending a vital meeting, or going on holiday, or something else which is important to you.

In short, your subconscious mind will try every trick going to ensure that your efforts are neutralised. And it WILL win.

Your conscious mind knows nothing at all about these secret plans of sabotage and mayhem! It thinks that it is trying really hard to achieve the things it wants. It can't understand why things keep going wrong. It is amazed that every time it gets close to achieving a major goal, something always seems to go wrong at the last minute!

After trying for a few times and failing, the conscious mind will start calling "FOUL!" and begin blaming external agencies for its downfall. You will start complaining about "bad luck" and "everyone being against you"; eventually you will reach the rational conclusion that there is no point in trying any more!

Then you will give up.

In fact the conscious mind was right. A foul was being committed, but it came from a member of its own team! Instead of looking outside for the offender, the conscious mind should have been looking inside!

Handsomely Equipped to Fail

I know a man who, outwardly, is a very successful businessman and a brilliant salesman. I worked with this man for many years and I always admired his enthusiasm and dedication to his business. He worked really hard - sometimes twelve hours a day and most weekends. This man was going places.

Outwardly he appeared to believe in himself and what he was doing. He knew that he wanted to be a millionaire and to run a large, successful company; and he knew how to get there.

I'll be honest with you and tell you that I wanted to be like this man; he seemed so sure of himself and where he was going.

I'm only glad now that I didn't follow too closely in his footsteps!

The first disaster came after I had known him for only a year. His business suffered a terrible setback and nearly went bust, resulting in him having to work even harder in order to save the company. I felt really sorry for his 'bad luck', but also somewhat puzzled about how the disaster could have happened in the first place. It seemed to me that he had made a number of fundamental business mistakes.

Then other 'accidents' started to happen. Some time after he had saved the business, things started to look really good for him. His enthusiasm increased and he redoubled his efforts to make a success of it. All the ingredients were there and the business started to take off.

But whoops! Disaster struck again, and knocked him back down to a level lower than he had initially started from.

This cycle happened at least five times, and it became obvious to me that this was not a coincidence! No-one could have so much bad luck; it had to be sabotage! I watched the man carefully during all of this, and began to notice how he was subconsciously sabotaging himself to ensure failure.

That's right! He was ensuring his own failure! Why? Because although consciously he was trying really hard for success, subconsciously he didn't believe that he was worth it, and so consequently his subconscious took the necessary steps to ensure that he failed! This man did not have a Positive Self Image.

I watched him trying to sell a large order, at boardroom level, to a major Corporation; he was brilliant. The people liked him, they liked his company and his product; they were ready to sign an order worth tens of thousands of pounds. All he needed to do was to shut up!

Instead, to my horror, he carried on selling! He started inventing wilder and wilder reasons why they should give him the business, (they were ready to anyway). He went on and on and on...

At first, the gathered executives started to look bored, then incredulous. One or two even suppressed a laugh. In short, he had blown the deal and turned a certain order into a disaster.

Furthermore, he could not seem to understand what he had done wrong!

At another sales-pitch, I watched him sell over one hundred thousand pound's worth of equipment to a major U.K. company. This equipment was to be distributed to every office of the company and would help them to increase sales. Again, he had closed the deal and they were ready to sign, but at this point he introduced his 'master plan which, he explained to the assembled buyers, was one further reason why they should buy from him.

This 'master plan consisted of a method of servicing the equipment, (located all over the country), at a low cost to the client.

His proposal? To use senior citizens to do the servicing, because, he explained, they had plenty of spare time and could make use of cheap rail concessions to travel to service calls at half price!

The assembled audience went very quiet, waiting for the punch-line - which never came. It gradually dawned on them that he was serious, and a few embarrassed coughs signalled the loss of another large order.

I haven't seen this man for several years, but the last I heard he had lost his house and practically everything he owned.

To this day, I'm sure that he still has no idea at all why he failed.

He's probably starting another company right now, and hoping that he has better 'luck'.

Digging Holes

I have told you about this man in some detail because I want you to understand that it is not enough just to say that you believe in yourself; you must really believe in yourself.

It is not enough to work really hard towards your goals. As you have seen from my story, hard work brought my friend nothing but disaster.

To give a silly example: You could work hard all week long digging a large hole in the ground, then work hard all the following week filling it in again! You would have put two weeks of solid effort into something and achieved nothing!

Most people spend a lot of their lives digging holes and filling them in again.

As I said right at the beginning of this chapter, the actual work associated with achieving your goals represents only twenty-five percent of the task. Believing in yourself, believing that you are worth it, represents over 50% of the task. That is why I am dwelling on this important subject. If you do not truly believe that you are worth it, all your hard work will come to nothing. You will be like my friend, working hard, day after day, trying, striving and sweating towards your goals, when all along, your subconscious mind is assuring your failure.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF YOU ARE HANDSOMELY EQUIPPED TO FAIL!

No amount of effort on your part will assure your success. Not even luck will work. If your Great-Aunt Aggie left you a fortune, and yet you didn't believe that you were worth leaving it to, then within a short while it would be gone, slipping away through your fingers, frittered away on useless schemes and ideas.

Two Types of Belief

I have talked a little bit about one type of belief, the belief in your fundamental worth as a human being, the belief that you deserve all the things you are striving for. This type of belief stems from having a Positive Self Image.

I have called this type of belief PSI-belief, (Positive Self Image Belief). It is the single most important factor in achieving success and MUST be obtained before you can succeed.

Later, I'll show you how to increase your PSI-belief to a point where you can achieve all of your dreams and ambitions.

The other type of belief is your belief in your ABILITY to achieve your goals. This type of belief is easier to get than PSI-belief, but it is an equally important ingredient of your success equation.

I call this belief I-CAN belief.

Both PSI and I-CAN are ESSENTIAL before you can succeed.

Both of these beliefs must be in place before you can start seriously working towards your major life-goals.

PSI BELIEF IS BELIEF IN YOURSELF

I-CAN BELIEF IS BELIEF IN YOUR ABILITIES

These two beliefs are quite distinct and separate from one another. The first is much more important than the second, and far harder to obtain; but I repeat that BOTH must be obtained before you can succeed.

My friend in the story was lacking in PSI-belief but he did have I-CAN belief. His lack of PSI meant that he did not believe that he deserved to succeed; he didn't think that he was worth it.

I-CAN is your belief in your ability to achieve something.

Whilst it rests upon the foundation of PSI it is a more intellectual and rational belief.

Interestingly enough, my friend was not lacking in this second type of belief; he genuinely, (and correctly), believed in his sales ability. But he was severely lacking in PSI-belief, so whilst he knew what he wanted, and believed in his ability to get it, he didn't believe that he was worth it - so he failed.

Because this is such an important point, I want to summarise what I have just said:

PSI-belief is concerned with how you feel inside about yourself. It is about having a Positive Self Image; knowing that you deserve more, that you are worth it.

I-CAN belief is concerned with convincing yourself that you are ABLE to achieve your goals.

I want you to clearly understand the difference between these two types of belief, so let me give you an example which will help you:

Mary, David and Sue have always longed to go on a skiing holiday. Mary is lacking in both PSI and I-CAN belief. Let's hear what she has to say:

MARY: "I would love to go on a skiing holiday but I have so much to do at home, there's the dog to feed as well, and it would be selfish of me to take a break whilst the children are so young. Anyway, I'm really clumsy; I'd never get the hang of it.”

TRANSLATION: "My needs are less important than a dog's and I couldn't do it anyway."

David is lacking in PSI-belief: Let's listen to him:

DAVID: "Skiing is for rich people, not for the likes of us. Pity really because I'm sure I would be good at it."

TRANSLATION: "I'm a second class citizen and I'm going to make sure that I stay that way. I don't doubt my abilities though."

Sue is lacking in I-CAN belief. Here's what she might say:

SUE: "A holiday is a really great idea. I deserve a break after the year I've just had. The children can go to my Mother's, she'd love to have them and the change would do them good. Does it have to be skiing though? You have to be really athletic and muscular don't you?"

TRANSLATION: "I feel good about myself inside and know that I am worth this break. However, I have doubts about my abilities, and I'm a bit scared of this unknown challenge."

These examples should help you to understand how different the two beliefs are.

I am now going to tell you something which you might find surprising: PSI-belief is to do with FEELINGS and EMOTIONS about yourself, and is not easily improved by logical argument, whereas I-CAN belief is more rational, and is open to logical argument.

This becomes obvious when we look at our erstwhile skiing friends.

No amount of rational, logical argument about how easy it is to ski, how cheap the kennels are, or how much the children might enjoy her being away, will convince MARY to go on this holiday.

Why? Because she doesn't think she is worth it! All this talk of dogs and children is just a smoke screen to give her an excuse for not going.

If I did try to convince her, the conversation would go something like this:

ME: "Mary, why don't you take this break, you deserve it!"

MARY: "But who would look after the dog?"

ME: "There are plenty of excellent kennels close by, but if you don't fancy them then I could look after it for you."

MARY: "Thanks; but it's not just the dog. Don't forget I'm a Mother and have certain responsibilities to my children. I can't just get up and leave them."

ME: "Sure you can! They're old enough now, and you've told me many times that your Mother would love to have them."

MARY: "That's true, but I couldn't really afford to go. There are so many other things I should spend my money on, like clothes for the children."

ME: "Why not spend it on yourself just this once?"

MARY: "Anyway, I couldn't leave the house empty for all that time, there are lots of burglaries around here."

And on and on and on! One excuse after another. Do you see what I mean? Mary's practical problems are purely incidental to the central message which runs through her every sentence. This message is: "I'm not worth it. I should spend money on other people not me. I don't deserve a holiday."

Do you see that no amount of rational talking or explanation can help Mary?

SUE, however, is a different proposition. She has a fundamentally Positive Self Image; all she needs is a little convincing and reassurance. I could probably persuade her to go if I told her about the easy slopes, the beginner's classes, and the fact that there would be dozens of people just like her. In other words, by presenting a rational argument, I stand a good chance of boosting Sue's I-CAN belief.

A talk with Sue might go something like this:

SUE: "I've never been skiing before, I couldn't do it. Surelyyou have to be really fit?"

ME: "Nonsense! Most of the people going won't have been before. There are beginner's classes and excellent training."

SUE: "I'm too old though. They're all youngsters aren't they?"

ME: "Are you joking? Last time I went there were three people over sixty who were there for the first time!"

SUE: "I'd be scared of hurtling down those long slopes like you see on the television."

ME: (Laughing), "You only get to go on those slopes when you're good and ready. You'll be starting out on the flat!"

SUE: "Really? Perhaps it would be fun after all."

A little more rational argument and Sue might be willing to go.

Notice the difference between Mary's message and Sue's message:

MARY IS SAYING "I'm not worth it."

SUE IS SAYING "I can't do that."

These are very different statements.

Notice also, how I was able to persuade Sue by rational argument? A lot of the actual text of this book is designed to do just that; increase your belief in your abilities (I- CAN) by presenting you with a reasoned argument.

Increasing your belief in your own worth (PSI), is a far more difficult proposition, because, as I have said, it is not amenable to rational argument. No amount of reasonable, logical argument on my part will increase your feeling of self-worth by one jot.

But because it is VITAL that you have a Positive Self Image, a large part of the method is devoted to increasing your belief in your self-worth.

Do you remember at the start of this chapter I asked you to take a little time over asking yourself the question, "Do I deserve a larger house?" This is because I knew that PSI-belief was not easily approached by such intellectual questions. PSI-belief is lodged so firmly in the subconscious mind, that I asked you to IMAGINE being in your new home.

The coins of the subconscious mind are IMAGES, just as the coins of the conscious or rational mind are THOUGHTS.

How to Tell if You Have a Negative Self Image

If, like my friend, you have a Negative Self Image which is impeding your progress, then it MUST be corrected before you have any chance at all of succeeding.

Correcting this NSI represents the fundamental foundation of my method. Without it you are wasting your time trying to achieve any of your life-goals. With a nasty NSI lurking in your subconscious, your very best efforts are doomed to failure.

I will show you how to eradicate this NSI later in the book, after you have completed an interesting quiz which determines the level of your NSI; but it is important that you realise the difference between PSI-belief and I-CAN belief at this stage.

The actual level of your PSI-belief will determine the amount of time you have to spend improving it. All readers will have to spend SOME time on this vital area.

Because all this talk about conscious and subconscious minds can be confusing, let me summarise this chapter briefly:

YOU WILL NOT ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS WITHOUT BELIEF

THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF BELIEF - PSI BELIEF AND I-CAN BELIEF

PSI-Belief reflects how you FEEL about yourself deep down inside.

It is about your level of self-worth. PSI-belief CANNOT be improved by rational argument, reading books, or discussion. It CAN be improved by the type of exercise given later in this book. You MUST have a Positive Self Image if you are to succeed - you must believe that YOU ARE WORTH all the good things in life, you must believe that YOU DESERVE IT. Without this belief you will fail.

I-CAN belief reflects how capable you think you are on a 'nuts and bolts' level. It concerns how you THINK about your abilities and what you BELIEVE is possible or not possible for you. It is largely a learned response and is heavily determined by your upbringing and schooling.

An example of this is the message: "Women don't become engineers," which effectively prevents all but the most determined women from becoming engineers.

When you have PSI-belief and I-CAN belief then you are HALF WAY to success. YES; HALF WAY!

This is the most difficult and challenging part of the method which I am sharing with you.

Formula For Success

We are now in a position to re-write our simple formula for success given at the start of the book:

SUCCESS IS:

25% PSI-BELIEF 25% I-CAN BELIEF 25% KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT 25% GETTING THERE

Well, PSI and I-CAN added together make a giant 50% of the formula!

You are now well on your way to understanding why belief is so important to your success. Let us now examine PSI- belief in detail, and see how we can improve it.

Extracted from the book 'The Midas Method' by Stuart Goldsmith

buy this books

via SOFT SKILL AND MOTIVATION

#IFTTT #SOFT SKILL AND MOTIVATION

0 notes

violetsystems · 6 years ago

Text

#personal

I think there’s a big difference between being exhausted and being drained. The truth of it has been that things have been exhausting. I’ve been dreaming again recently. You can attribute all the mysticism you want to that statement. The reality of the equation is I’ve been sleeping better mostly because of a bed frame and occasional yoga. This week I’ve quietly saved the day a number of times at work. Often times in the middle of a class. Once for a pulitzer prize journalist in the middle of Lawndale for a class about zines and another for the fashion class. I wouldn’t say it’s thankless at all. Most of the times this is what is expected to make sure things don’t get interrupted. It just so happens my focus these days isn’t really out of line with that end goal. I grew up making zines. I even almost got expelled from a Christian High School for publishing a zine. Some kids got a hold of it on a bus and their parents called the school board to report it as satanic. Years later I’m under a desk reconnecting the hdmi cables. Nobody wants to hear about refresh rates. They’re too busy learning how to design patterns for clothing. When I came back later to check in with the real technical staff the aftermath is peaceful. They tell me the faculty told them I already came by and fixed it. I get to rest easy I accomplished something in an environment I’m constantly inspired by. Whether or not real life gets in the way is another story. My book delivery finally came. It was the second package stolen. This time my neighbor’s package was also ripped wide open. Eerily we both looked at the picture they took before leaving it. Both our packages were there. I spoke with the postal carrier who wasn’t very helpful. Hung up on the police too. Two of my neighbors gave me a knowing look. More as if they believed I was definitely not taking any more shit. People tend to rally behind that at times. Awkwardly so. The book I ordered was on recommendation from a coworker. He had taken a class with a faculty member who is deaf. The book about non-spaces was part of the curriculum. The teacher had spent much of his time practicing lip reading on the train out of necessity. He became an unintentional eavesdropper in that sense being able to read conversations presumably from across the train. How we navigate our own personal space, privilege and lack thereof in this asteroid field of American society is an art in and of itself. One thing is for sure is that it should be different for everyone.

We are all unique in some way or another. I was thinking a lot about Bennu, this asteroid that could hit the planet in 2199. The truth is that it won’t really destroy the Earth. We’ll probably do that to ourselves far before that even becomes a remote possibility. But all the time we spend focusing on reacting to anything or everything around us keeps us distracted from something. Mainly reducing our personal accountability by doing something about it. Some sort of focus is spent away from the self and what we can do however small to repel that kind of negative thinking away. It’s always mostly fear. If you aren’t fearful, people will intimidate you to instill it. When people can’t manipulate you or make you afraid, they awkwardly kick the ground. After all these years, I’ve learned I’m not afraid of much. I am afraid of an asteroid wiping out the entire earth someday and erasing everything from existence. More so than some ex tumblr employee turned hacker with a grudge wiping this very platform from the face of Verizon. Or some targeted operation to delay my package deliveries to teach me a lesson. The lesson is pretty simple. I know how much of my time has been wasted out here. If I wallow in all that I’ll drown myself in waves of depression and nostalgia. I choose not to. I see no results in that. Everything I have seen results from since all the way back from 2013 has some sort of hope, positivity or inspiration attached to it. I’m about to start gardening again this spring. I got my start volunteering at urban gardens one summer with a friend from Detroit. I was really lonely at the time and unsure of myself. Years later I’m the complete opposite. And I’m better at gardening for sure. Mostly because I have more time to focus on it. You put things into practice over time. Centering yourself is a very nebulous way of phrasing it. But it’s like throwing darts over time. You know what your target is. Where you are most happy. Where you gravitate towards being positive by default rather than negative. And in that I think you create a kind of non-space for yourself. How it starts to feel after awhile when it bleeds over into reality is strange. How your positivity and outlook on life starts to affect actual space by challenging and provoking the dominant culture. If you are aligned with something in a positive way like feminism, activism, or the arts you stand alongside that as an ally. A unique sort of hero that everybody talks shit about but nobody really knows. A boundary or fault line nobody dares cross. A bridge I already burned to keep myself warm.

These days I live in a little castle. I’ve dug a mote around me and it rained a thousand year storm it seems. This practice of writing here on the internet weekly evolved into something deeper for me. It’s been a safe enough space where I don’t think it’s been abused. I had to create a safe space for myself out of necessity. I had to establish my own version of things and trust that people would take my voice and opinion into account. The joke is nobody pays much attention to me here or otherwise. They have a hallucination of what they think it is to be me. One constructed like a patchwork Frankenstein of rumors, accusations, and fantasies. I rumble through hallways and weave through streets and alleyways. Secret territories exist where messages get passed almost like whispers. They have their own semiotics and their own encryption and the weight of that is based on trust. I build my castles like I build my relationships with people I love. Unwavering and on a solid foundation of love and respect. Just like I try to approach everything I do with some sort of genuine care and tenderness. If people don’t see it I believe it’s not meant for them to see. If people don’t genuinely connect I don’t believe it’s worth trying to force it. You know when you are locked inside the orbit of another celestial plane so to speak. You can tell you aren’t in Kansas anymore very clearly. The rules in some places don’t apply. And what you do matters more than ever to some people and less to others. For me the big difference between being exhausted and being drained is inspiration. I always felt that I wasn’t good enough. People would throw stones at everything I would try to build. After awhile I started to build things in silence. People wouldn’t throw stones. People wouldn’t even acknowledge I exist. They still don’t. And in that time I’ve built a literal fortress around your heart. Almost as big as when Sting left the Police. Probably a little bigger at this point. That fortress is a perimeter of non-spaces concentrically aligned like a huge crop circle at this point. A rhizome of connected points of power shared and distributed evenly across the world. If I were drained none of this would have ever fed back to what it is now. The real truth is that you inspire me more and more each day to align these things together. All I ever wanted to be was closer to you. I didn’t really imagine any of that was possible. And it wouldn’t be if I didn’t take the time to listen to myself and do something about it. I’m just going to keep doing it. <3 Tim

1 note · View note

nuellen · 8 years ago

Text

The Sunguard EoN Side Quest - Your Character’s Affairs

Nuellen pushed her chair back onto its back legs as she sat in thought, looking at the various letters he had written the past few hours into the night. She looked over each one as she quietly made her decisions about sending some of the letters out. Each one was selected and read before being put into letters and addressed.

The first was to her closest of friends, Mellarue…

Mell,

First off, don’t be alarmed after reading this letter. I am, and will be, just fine. The Sunguard is soon to deploy its members on a number of missions and recently, the Archon had mentioned to most everyone that we might consider putting our affairs into order. You know, “just in case” and all that.

So I’ve been going through all of what is in my name and I’ve decided that, for as long as you’ve been living with me and helping me with the girls, it wouldn’t seem right at all for you to be forced out of a home that has been yours as well as mine. If I should pass, I want the apartment to go to you, and you won’t have to worry about any payments on it cause it was paid for outright when I got it!

I have arrangements for Kylora and Alna to fall under their grandfather’s care so you will be able to live your own life there. I know how close you’ve been with them, so if you would like them to visit or want to figure out some way for them to stay with you, I leave that to your discretion. I know you’ve become like a sister to them.

Either way, I wanted to make you aware of this, but I can assure you that I plan on coming back from all these missions in one piece.

Your Friend,

Nuellen

P.S. I have included a letter to the girls within your own, so they won’t see it and open it prematurely. It is to be opened only if I do meet my end. I still plan to talk to them anyway before I leave, just to get some kind of preparation for reality for them.

Nuellen sighed and placed the letter within its envelope, addressing it carefully before checking the letter that would accompany it.

Alna’cenia and Kylora,

I’m not sure what to write to you both. This letter technically should never need to arrive to you. I’ve left this world and perhaps I will see your father, wherever I head. I know he would be proud of how you two have grown and would want you both to keep growing. Never stop. Keep moving forward and cherish all that you experience in life.

If this letter is in your hands, I wanted to let you know that your mother has not left you without in this world. All of my earnings are set to be distributed to you both evenly and free to use when you are of age. Kylora, please take care of Ergrer and Greer for me. I know you’ve been fond of the two of them. Alna, there is a warhammer in storage that once belonged to your father. Please keep training and should you ever see the need for battle, know that you have your family always with you to fight.

You also have the choice of living with your grandfather on his lands, or to stay with Mellarue, but only if she is willing to allow you to stay. I have no doubts that she would always welcome you, though.

As I said, I don’t expect this letter to arrive to you, but know that you’re well taken care of no matter what.

I love you both so much,

Your Minn’da

That was her hardest letter to write, she thought. She didn’t like the idea of leaving her children behind. It had happened to her, when she was young but damn it all if she wouldn’t make sure they would be alright if the same were to befall them. The letter was stuffed into the same envelope as Mellarue’s, sealed at the edges with a small amount of glue.

The next few letters were much shorter, addressed to various recipients:

Xul’ili,

Not dead yet, just a greeting and having things in order. Hope all is well, it’s been awhile since I’ve visited the clan hall, but like everyone else, shit has been crazy busy. The Sunguard was all advised to think about getting our affairs in order and honestly, I’d never done it before, so I guess this is me being super practical.

I’ve an assortment of books I’ve procured over my time traveling and some are old spell books that I didn’t think would be very useful, though Mellarue tells me otherwise. I think you might like them, even if it’ll just be for light reading. Then again you probably know most of them anyway. Anyway, I just wanted to let you be aware just in case some package arrives for you, then you might know why they’ve been sent.

Good hunting and keep safe,

Nuellen @thebloodyfallen

Avareth,

I miss you brother, and I’m sorry I’ve not been to visit lately. I’ll try to make a few more visits, but things are about to get extra busy for me. The Archon suggested getting things in order, so I thought I’d let you know I have it arranged for you to receive all of mother and father’s ranging gear, save for some of mother’s things for Kylora. She seems to be fitting in to the Ranger role well.

Keep this letter on hand, but also remember that I don’t plan to have anything happen to me. This is just a worse case scenario. I also will send things to you for Karis, but considering his penchant for disappearing and reappearing at unreliable times, I think they would be best in your hands than just collecting dust.

Love you big bro,

“Ellanore”

More envelopes were sealed as she went along, but she soon came to the last two. A sigh left her lips as she lifted them to look over, knowing already what they said.

Father,

I know I've not written to you in ages, but outside of reports, you know I hate writing instead of just showing up to say hello.

The Sunguard is treating me well, and I've been given the opportunity to say my oath to them, so I guess I could say I'm official now. I write now not to raise concern, but the last few meetings have made me think of the future and what may happen if I'm not there. I don't plan on it, but it's a realistic approach to life.

We all will soon be embarking on new missions and all of them will be dangerous, but if the unthinkable happens, I want there to be a plan for when that happens. I mainly am concerned about my daughters, Alna’cenia and Kylora, and where they will go. They are only eight years of age now. I can't believe how fast they grow only to have years and years ahead of them, if they are so lucky to do so.

I would ask you accept them to your home and lands even though, I know, our family through you is already large in numbers. They may do better with children of different ages all around them.

And perhaps the wolves, if they do not fit in where I intend for them to go.

I am making arrangements for my birth parents’ properties and my own home within the city.

I stress again, this isn’t to raise any concern, please don’t show up and embarrass me too much, because I almost half expect you to show up five minutes after reading this letter.

Please note, I’ve included copies of the documents naming you as next of kin.

Your Daughter,

Nuellen @chemicalbydefault

She folded it carefully and addressed the envelope. Before sealing it, though, she looked at the final letter thoughtfully. It sat upon the desk, surrounded by the other sealed envelopes, looking alone…Unfinished, too. There was only one paragraph to it. She knit her brow and pulled the letter to her father to add one more line to the page:

“P.S. Please hold onto this additional letter addressed to Ethalarian “Shahin” Dawnstalker. It is meant to be sent to him only after I may possibly pass.”

She placed the letter back into the envelope and set it aside. She picked up her pen once more and stared at the letter for Shahin. She started to write after rereading the first paragraph another five times.

Ethalarian,

You know why this letter is written... The Archon had mentioned this to everyone and even those who wouldn’t be there would’ve heard about it anyway. I feel a little silly writing this, since I’ve parroted in all my letters, “I don’t plan on dying, this isn’t going to be a reality.” I still don’t plan on that.

But you know I’ve always been realistic, even though I lace all that realism with plenty of optimism, it makes reality seem a little more… Hopeful. I want a world where I can see and help the girls grow. A world where, even if there is some fighting, it won’t always have to be that way. And I guess you need hope to keep those things alive and achievable. Did I mention this is a hard letter to write when you don’t expect to die?

I know you’ve been through more than any one person should go through in their life. And I know that all those hardships will make achieving a life as long as my own, really fucking tough. It’s hard to look into the future, knowing what has already happened, and try to keep going when really it would just be easier to let the world take you at the cost of saving others. But then, what good would that be? We know there’s no glory for people like you or I, no statues raised in our honor or memorials placed. That’s saved for kings or leaders of a great many people. The glory is in seeing the faces of those we are near smiling or laughing in the midst of hardships. Actually being there, you know?

It’s why I’m happy, to look back and realize that after so much time that passed, we ran into one another. Smiled, laughed, and grew close again. It’s why, even as I write this letter, which took a weird turn instead of getting all my shit in order, I plan to stay with you and continue to be there for you if more hardships happen. I know you’re still struggling with where we are, as a couple - I can see the hesitation and you’ve told me right to my face that you can’t stand the idea of losing those you grow to love. My hope is that at some point, between the time I’ve written this letter and the time you receive it, I will have helped you ease away from that fear. We lose loved ones, but we also need to keep ourselves open enough to see when more love comes our way.

Nuellen sat up and shook her head as she stretched. When she looked at how much she written thus far, she groaned.

I’ve rambled, I noticed. This was supposed to be a letter to tell you that some of my possessions are now yours. Because after all this time, I bet you didn’t think that would be something I’d thought about, right? I’m sure that I’ve brought you to my birth family’s homestead in the mountains, just south of Fairbreeze, yes? Well, if you haven’t then I really fucked up, cause I plan on us being there for a little while. Maybe a vacation in between missions with the Sunguard. It’s really peaceful up there. Quiet, plenty of space to make a garden, two trees out front that a hammock can be hung up from, the girls would be able to run around in fresh air and plenty of forest and land to hide away the sight of the Dead Scar. Undead don’t come up cause I managed to set up wards that deter them from the land. And these ones are hidden well, so they can’t be tampered with.

IF, AND ONLY IF (emphasized because you already know I don’t plan on it…) I do meet my end, I want you to have that place. It means a lot to me, and it would mean even more to know that I could provide you a place to escape to when things get overwhelming and I’m not there physically to help give you the solace you would need.

I’ve decided not to make you the soul provider to the girls, only because right now that would just make you scream, I can tell. If you want to remain in their lives, please do! I know they’re growing close to you and look up to you even now. Alna’Cenia asks how we met, the first time, cause she’s already asked about how we reunited. Kylora asks about you when you’re not there. She’s got a heart like mine. I think she worries about you when you show up and look tired or worn down. I can’t say I blame her, I worry too. They probably could help you stay out of your shell, if I’m not there to do it for them. There’s nothing quite like the reality of keeping children you care for alive to really keep you away from the feeling of despair. Well, not totally, but the responsibility and amount of time and manpower keeping them alive often kept me too tired to think about the loss of their father.

I suppose that’s all I need to write, for this thing to get the message across. Please accept the home. Don’t run away or head first into a fight you know you will lose. Recover. Take the time you need. Breathe. Fight again renewed. Take another break. Just live for you for a little while. I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m just writing what I think you need to read once you’ve read it. Keep this letter and read it again if you’re feeling at a loss, but only if it is helpful.

Know that I want you to be happy. Do not despair. And hold your head high. There’s so much to you that I think others will appreciate about as much as I do. Others may grow to love you as much as I do, too. Nothing will tear us apart, not really, cause even if I’m not physically there with you, I always will just… Be.

Godsdamnit, I hope this letter never needs to arrive in your hands.

I Love You Always,

Nuellen @shahin

The Ranger sniffed and reached to rub at the corner of her eye. A part of her was already throwing some curse at the fact that she thought it was a good idea to do this, but the practical side of her only made her fold the pages of the letter and seal it before sliding it in with the letter to Alorinis. She grumbled to herself as she wiped her face with a cold washrag and scooped up the letters to mail them out.

@thesunguardmg

#Nuellen Swiftstrike #Writing #The Sunguard

8 notes · View notes