#Homophobic Workspace
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I'M LOSING IT (FOR YOU)
Summery:
Having been giving the chance to move all the way from his hometown out to Miramar, with the chance to work under his idol in his dream position, he hasn’t hesitated. Thomas Kazansky, the Iceman, one of the most respected and most renowned sole weapon maker in the country, having the only known contract with the Navy to date, manufacturing their new age multimillion dollar aircrafts. Sure he was stuck running around the office, grabbing coffees and managing Ice’s calendar to ensure the man got home at a reasonable time, like a desk jockey. But who would want anything more? However, three years later, he hasn’t expected all of that threatened by a pretty face with emerald, green eyes. But once the press caught a whiff of something they became hound dogs, and before they knew it there was a scandal. Iceman was dating Maverick, a green-eyed menace of a man who worked with them as a contractor within the Navy, the Captain who accompanied them at events and kept their funding flowing. The only issue is Iceman being labelled as gay was not good for business, especially not with the bigoted DADT pushing clientele they hold. Issue One: Iceman wanted him to pretend to be in a relationship with the Captain. Issue Two: Mitchell was actually a smooth bastard when he wanted to be, and he might be falling for him. Issue Three: Mitchell was actually Kazansky’s husband.
“Im sorry you want me to do what?” “I want you to date Pete, until this all goes down” “Mitchell. Pete Mitchell. Your husband” “Yes” “Cool. Cool. Cool, just making sure we’re on the same page. No, my answers No” “I’m your boss” “No you’re insane. I’m your assistant, and I don’t even like Mitchell”
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Top Gun (Movies)
Word count: Aprox. 4K
Relationships: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell/Beau "Cyclone" Simpson, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky & Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky & Beau "Cyclone" Simpson, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell & Beau "Cyclone" Simpson
Characters: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Beau "Cyclone" Simpson, Chester "Hammer" Cain, Darran "Copper" Wendle
Additional Tags:
Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Forbidden Love, Throuple, Mention of Don't Ask Don't Tell, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Homophobic Workspace, Old Homophobic Thinking, Inspired by Set It Up, Modern Era, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Developing Relationship, Revealed relationship, Secrete Marriage, Secretary and Boss Action, Ice is a weapon manufacture, Mav is a Navy Contractor, Beau is a Secretary and Designer, POV Beau "Cyclone" Simpson, Beau "Cyclone" Simpson is So Done, Beau "Cyclone" Simpson is a Softie, Dom Beau "Cyclone" Simpson, Bottom Beau "Cyclone" Simpson, Protective Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Married Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell is a Little Shit, Bottom Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives, Protective Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Gay Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Soft Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Top Tom "Iceman" Kazansky
Series: ← Previous Work Part 9 of (Jon Hamm) Beau “Cyclone” Simpson fics
“Simpson!”
Beau bit back a sigh at the call, irritation mounting as he gave the carrier an apologetic look as he hastily scribbled the last half of his signature on the e-pad. Snatching the flat package from the man’s offering hand, ignoring its fragile shipping label instruction stamped across the package with red ink once he caught the name of the sender, shoving it between his chest and the crook of his elbow. His own files pressed against it, wrist aching with the weight of the coffee tray, headset slanted forward on his ear, and he cursed lowly aware that there was only a certain amount of time before it dislodged and fell down around his neck. On his other hand his pointer and middle finger began to cramp with the weight on the metal hanger dug into the crease of his finger joint holding the pressed and ironed suit encased in a protective zipped sleeve, shoes safely polished and placed in a fabric protector attached to the hook adding to the weight, swaying behind him just over his shoulder as far as he could place it away from any possible spillage from the cups. He slipped past the crowded office into the left cut hallway that led to his ‘office’; which was realistically just a small cut out section of the hall which he was sure was once used to be for back up storage, which now held his small sad desk that was pressed up against the wall. A small, cluttered area which collected Kazansky’s mail and the endless phone calls and scheduled meetings, an eyesore for all those who passed it, as rare as it was, to enter the big, windowed view of Kazansky’s office.
Using his hip, he pressed open the glass door to the office mainly due to the lack of available hands, tilting his head to press his headset against his shoulder to click the button on the side of his earpiece as he heard it emit a soft tring.
“Beau Simpson, Kazansky Office. Please hold” he calmly answered falling into a practiced lull as he stepped further into the office, tolling his eyes and biting back irritation at finding Kazansky leaning over a chaotically overfilling desk of open books, scrolls, and blueprints spread over and under books with no care for risking damaging the prints, his paints, charcoals, and what he was assuming what was some sort of acrylic paint was smeared across the glass top desk. He mentally making a note to apologise to the cleaner before they got into tonight, wondering if that red velvet and truffle place was still open so he could order an apology gift for Darline the shift manager.
He gently swung the suit around his body to hang it up, hooking it onto the rack by the door, neatly notched onto the old looking pipe that stuck out from the old brick accent wall which took after an industrial design. Once he was sure the suite was smooth and safely notched, he stepped back hand, quickly shifting his headpiece back into a stable position before firmly holding his files now removing the awkward pinch it was giving his elbow from clutching it for so long.
“Sir” he acknowledged lightly as he stepped further into the office pointedly ignoring the man lounging in the plush lounging chair that sat on the lush, carpeted area. The darked haired man’s legs were spread, uncaring for the way that his uniform formed tightly over his thighs, lips turned downwards, brows furrowed slightly, fist pressed against his chin looking bored. The mans seamed to light up as he entered, head dipping up at the sound of his voice lips curling up in pleasure, forcing him to bit back his retort as he slid the books aside to create space and placed his files onto the desk, careful to not damage anything Ice might be working on but also not allowing the files to be re-swallowed by the mess and lost forever.
“Simpson” Kazansky muttered distracted as he tapped the dull side of his pencil against his jaw in thought one palm pressing against the desk, hunched over as he worked. “Did you get my dry cleaning for tonight’s gala?”
“Steamed and hung sir, shoes are polished as well. The car will be picking you up from the office at 9, and the speaker should greet you upon arrival”. He began to quickly scan the table picking up the books that looked untouched for a while flipping them shut and began to stack them in a pile creating some space that he knew was pointless because it would only be swallowed again once he left. “Don’t forget you have a lunch in Manhattan with Cortell at 12, the car will arrive in the lobby at 11:20. Then you have two hours of sketching time before you have blook meetings with the committee”.
He had hardly finished his mental recalling of his boss’s calendar when a hand cut through his vision snatching one of the coffee cups, pointedly the one black dot on the lid, from his tray causing him to scowl. He glanced up and glared at Mitchell who calmly grinned at him from his new position leaning back against the table, sipping from the brim staring straight at him, baiting him.
“Actually” he drawled, “That was mine”.
“No bed side manors for the guests Cy?” Mitchells lips tipped into fond a fond smile.
His teeth grated at that horrible nickname; the man hadn’t flattered since he first met him. Giving people callsigns is his thing, Tom had explained to him once when he first joined the company, clearly over trying to argue the calling card of Iceman, once the name flowed through the correct Navy channels it seemed people were much more willing to work with Kazansky, so he had left it at that. Don’t ask what you don’t want to know, his grandmother had told him once. Especially when apple pie was involved.
“Not to uninvited guest, not particularly no”.
Kazansky reached out blindly, snapping his fingers insistently causing his eye to twitch in indignation as he silently passed the man the remaining warm coffee, leaving his hand empty other then the tray which he untucked from its folds, flattening it and placed the dismantling tray into the bin, taking a moment to try and regain his composure.
“And here I thought you loved me Cy” Mitchell chuckled lightly.
“Only the amount of money you make the company sir,” he bit back, releasing a silent shuttered breath, turning towards them with a customer service smile, patient but deadly.
Mitchell smirked lazily kicking his leg out his hip pressed against the glass looking lazily at ease in such an awkward position. “Well, you know how sort after and irreplaceable I am”
He hummed “I didn’t realise the Navy had a special place in their hearts for recruiting garden nomes”.
Mitchel’s expression tightened, smile turned sharp, “Don’t get cute with me boy”.
“Cute, you must be mistaken, I’m nothing but polite and efficient” he calmly stepped closer reaching out around the man towards the side table and extending a bowl of butter drops Kazansky liked keeping by his desk for when he was thinking, “Candy drop?”
The man scoffed roughly rolling his eyes so aggressively he hoped they would fall out of his skull and cause his to drop dead- placing the drink down on the table grumbling as he bitched “Who gets soy milk in their coffee anyway?”
“People who have an intolerance to lactose. Now if I had known you would be here, if you have scheduled an appointment, I would have gotten you a coffee in your order”.
Mitchell tisked dismissively, “Isn’t it your job to keep track of Tom’s schedule?”
“If you actually scheduled, then yes”.
The man eyes flickered to the documents on the desk eyes catching the red ink, grimacing as he took another sip. “You know when I send mail labeled fragile, I intend you to be fragile with them Cy”.
“Nothing you ever send is fragile Mitchell, and if it was important, you would have hand delivered it” he informed him well aware of the man’s habits having them drilled into him for the last three years and counting.
“Don’t be dumb Cy, if it was that important you wouldn’t even know about it” Mav smirk was sharp, taunting him.
Before he could reply a low thrumming filled the room sounding more like something was dying, calling out in agony.
“Simpson, the computers beeping again” Kazansky muttered waving his hand in a general direction to his left.
That…was a computer?
Frowning he stepped away from Mitchell and addressed the desk before him, flipped over books, carefully closing them and stacking them into tower, rolling up scrolls before finding the said object buried under an avalanche of notes, only to sighs heavily.
“It’s beeping because it’s overheating again. Sir, you need to close the tabs you’re not using, or you’ll overload the system-” he reminded him for the umpteenth time.
“They’re all important to my work-” Kazansky glanced up eyes narrowing on him as if threatening to close his…109 tabs… was life threatening. Why the hell does he work for this man again? Ah right, despite the shit hours, endless workdays and wanting to quit at least 27 times an hour, it was great experience on his record, and it came with good pay for someone in his position. Enough to have a decent apartment, care for his cat Phranch, and small French bulldog Pez, his endless succulents and the climbing plants that were taking over his bathroom and fire escape. It allowed him to wear decent business wear to work, his dress shoes, ironed business trousers neatly tucked into his white button up which was rolled up to his elbow with a brown belt to tie it together. Kazansky never specifically said he needed to dress to impress but considering he always walked around in a suit it was heavily implied, and it wasn’t like he could wear his sweater wear around here in his position, he’d get trampled on.
“I know sir, but the more the computer overheats the quicker it will die”.
“That’s idiotic,” he heard the man mutter attention stolen by a stray line, that he leaned over the table, bitting the tip of his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration as he gently adjusted the line of the frame to the canopy of the newest F-22’s.
Deciding that it was a lost cause attempting to argue with the man who clearly didn’t quite grasp technology the same as the other bothersome man in the room, he picked up the laptop rescuing it from its doom sliding it under his arm resisting the urge to flitch as the hot object pressed against his skin just below his rolled sleeve. There was no point trying to fix the problem here, he would need to bring it back to his desk and cross refence the tabs with Kazansky’s open projects before actually deleting anything. Why the man couldn’t simply use the desktop on his desk was beyond him, let alone the tablet he ended up retrieving every so often when the man’s carelessness fried something, no doubt at the bottom of the draw of his neck, he’d have to charge it up, it was just as frustrating to care for but thankfully Kazansky had a better understanding of it, even if it was only the sketching app. Ironically the man had no issues working a phone, he just simply chose to ignore calls.
Ignoring the way the laptop pinched at the hair on his arm he took the time to order the files he placed on the desk, placing the more time pressing on the top of the pile and the people he personally thought deserved to wait longer just purely from being dicks on him on the phone on the bottom, idly listening to Kazansky quietly mutter to Mitchell about the design for the sleek airframe, as he tugged a pen from his pocket and placed it on top. A 0.5 needle point, sleek but precise, something he knew Kazansky would want, the man was cold and cutting, and he displayed those exact traits in his mannerisms and signatures. He knew that Kazansky would get to them eventually, the man always did a scan of the desk after lunch taking the time to check over the files and [placing aside the work he completed before sinking into his creativity zone. The files where always signed at the end of the day so he didn’t particularly care how long it took or what exactly the man’s process was.
He twisted, fingers tightening around the laptop as Mitchells eyes jumped up from the table where Kazansky was running his pen over a mechanics of the inner engine and those green eyes softened watching him even with those tugged tight smiles he always got when he knew the man was tired and stressed. He ignored him, even when he waited anxiously with a bated breath, uncomfortableness itching at his chest, as Mitchell let the tense moment drag in silence instead of butting in and trying to get him, to rise for his bait as he usually did in moments like these. Always gleeful to steal a moment or two to send him off out of the office in a foul mood ensuring he wouldn’t bother them for a few hours, always dragging it out as long as he possibly could before forcing himself to face the man again trying to hide the way his fists curled, or the tenseness in his gaze as it scanned over the man as if he wasn’t even there. Much to Mitchell’s endless amusement.
He turned his attention to his boss, trying to bite back his irritation when the man didn’t even bother to acknowledge him. Only a few more years. Only a few more years, he reminded himself. Then I can have enough experience under my name to work my own firm, to get a better job where it's my designs that are being followed instead of running coffee orders like I was Kristien fucking Stewart.
“Do you need anything sir? Or am I to return to my desk?”
“No”. The blond waved him off dismissively, “Push back my meetings for an hour, I don’t want to be disturbed”.
His eye twitched, hand shifting ever so slightly behind his back, view obscured, as his fingers curled into a fist. Placing a painfully fake smile on as he nodded empathetically “Of course sir”.
Did he not just tell the man he had an appointment? An important one. Like hell he was pushing that back, the man could work in his designated sketching time. Did he know how much time he spend negotiating with this firm? How many people he had tried to be calm with as they cursed him out? How many hours of overtime he had put in to just keep up with the work load this meeting created to begin with. NDA’s, contacts, security details.
Did he know how long this took to set up?
“That means you too Mitchell” Kazansky’s unimpressed drone cut through his anger with a sharp flash of gratification at the disgruntled and offended look the other man wore. Mitchell immediately moved forward towards Kazansky who didn’t even bother to glance him with a look, a noise of protest already bubbling from his throat when the moment was interrupted by his headset beeping with an withholding call, reminding him that he still had someone on hold.
Pushing back the urge to groan knowing fully well he was in for a tongue lashing due to the wait, he smiled, clicking the side button reconnecting the call. Moving towards the doorway towards his desk as he put his all, whatever will to live that was left at 9:30 in the morning, into an energetic bubbly voice that was expected of him for his position. “Thank you so much for holding. How may I-” his sentence was cut short, tongue catching behind his teeth in alarm jaw clenching, as his strid stalled in the centre of the room, “Mhh. I understand”.
To his left, Kazansky finally glanced up brows furrowed half in annoyance and the other in intrigue. “Simpson?”
“Cy?” Mitchell stepped forward towards him as if it would help the distress flooding through him, those green eyes searching him for some sort of unnamed response.
His smile felt strained as he silently walked towards the door pausing, releasing the pressure bar holding the doors open and flicking the lock shut. He then stepped back towards them, closing the distance hastily with three long strides placing the computer on the computer on the files, ignoring the way the computer whined in complaint when he opened a new tab. Lips pressed as he hummed in agreement again, along with the man on the phone who ratted off in a confused half panic. “Don’t worry Marty, I'll handle it, yes, goodbye” he reached up numbly clicking the button as the call finished staring up at the two men.
He clicked on the newest post on the webpage and glanced up at the two men offering them a grim look as he twisted the computer around to reveal the page. “We have a problem”.
There sitting on the screen, loud and proud, was an image of Kazansky, stone faced in his usual business attire hands folded behind his back. Mitchell beside him, looking slightly more human, one hand in his pocket, the other fiddling with his lapel, although the man’s head was tilted slightly towards Kazansky’s, the angle of the photo making it look deceptively like they were speaking to each other quietly. Secretive. Intimate. And above it all, in capitals with colours flying across the screen labelled:
KAZANSKY Co., OWNER OFFICIALLY LEAVES HIS COCKPIT, ONLY TO ENTER ANOTHER: THE GAY STORY OF A CENTURY! Thomas Kazansky one of the youngest CEO in Marmari, who had not only managed to double his worth in five years but to successfully secure the one deal that had everyone at war. A naval contract. Only now it leads to a more interesting story. After all it’s not everyday you hear for the rich falling for the commoner. Thomas Kazansky or affectionately called Iceman by his colleague Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, was recently appointed the soul contract for a classified military intelligence service, important enough that he was given a Captain to work with. A Captain, who’s has been spotted on several occasions leaving his personal building, and office at odd hours. A naval officer who is comfortable enough to stand so close to the Iceman, a man who it turns out, may not simply be a man. But rather, a boyfriend. It will be a surprise to everyone here when I inform you with utmost glee that Thomas Kazansky is gay! Confirmed face to face by a trusted anonymous source of mine. Not only is he gay, but the suggestion of the image above sealed my suspicion, Iceman is dating Maverick! Well, I guess we all know who’s who in the relationship…Click here to read further… View count: 2,408 Comments: 1,002 Reposts: 456 Posted 8 minutes ago, 27th September, 2022.
“What the fuck is that”. Mitchell was starting at it, had been staring at it for a good few minutes as if reading it, and rereading it again, as if that would change the words on the page.
“A scandal” he offered.
“An anonymous source?” Mitchell sounded scandalised, furious, as if this was his own reputation literally falling to the ground around him. The Man snarled shoving off the desk forcing himself into a pace with a sharp calming breath which seemed to be failing as the pent-up man reached out towards the desk as if to throw something only to stop himself mid motion. “Who’s going to believe this shit?
He glanced at the scene tiredly in growing temptation, mentally wincing at the views listed there, “Around two, three thousand as of right now” and growing.
“Three thousand?!” Mitchell stared at him, “How the hell do that many people have spare time to read the news during work hours”
“You always mange to find time to bother me at work during work hours” Kazansky muttered, he had relocated, numbly moving away from his desk barley missing spilling his dirty paint water onto his work in his haste to collapse into the plush chair Mitchell had abandoned earlier. His elbows on his knees, hands pressed together, fingers pressing against his lips in contemplation, tying to find a way out of…this.
“You need to do damage control” he said quietly, “We need to put a statement out, debunk it all. The longer we wait the harder it will be to contain. But we don’t want to do it too soon, or they’ll think we’re trying to hide something”.
“Meaning hell take damage either way” Mitchell sounded deflated, defeated, dropping back into the plush chair across from Kazansky with a weary groan, “Shit Kay-”
“I know” Kazansky mused, “I know”.
“What the hell are we going to do?” Mithcell scrubbed his face, “You know Cain and Wendle won’t tolerate colours around your name, even if it’s only a rumour-”
“They’ll bounce” he offered, “Unless they were convince otherwise, and we offer them something more important than their own pride”.
“What would possibly be more important?” Mitchell snapped.
He worried his lip, “Darkstar” he broached carefully.
Kazansky head snapped to him, “What?” he asked tensely.
Mitchell had gone pale, still.
“Where did you hear about that?” Kazansky demanded, “That’s confidential. They require Naval credentials to access”.
“Cains sends emails, I read emails. It’s not hard to put together sir. He’s been emailing for a few months about it, trying to bring it back into motion, apparently it was shelfed back in 1986 after a pilot died during testing-”
“Nick Bradshaw” Mitchell bit out sounding far more breathless than he should, “His name was Nick”.
Shit.
They knew him.
He hated when he stepped into unventured land. It was an unmarked minefield waiting to blow. “He’s been trying to push the initiative” he continued quietly, “Apparently with your approval he can override the board of director votes and put it into motion. If we give him that, then…he won’t be thinking about anything the news prints out. Other than how much money he’s going to make”.
“And Wendle?” Kazansky asked quietly, head bowed somewhat terrifyingly similar to one praying in purgatory, his own time spend on his knees in the small purgatory momentarily flashed behind his eyelids, the total sense of helplessness and weighted lack of navigation.
“Well sir, let’s just say I have enough collected on him from his drunken loose tongue at the last event to hold him off for a while, until we can pin him with those dirty under the table deals, he’s been doing with Russia”.
“He’s dealing to Russia?” Mithell muttered, “That’s the worst country to try and blackmail”.
“No one said he was smart, and no one said he was the one trading. We just need to make it believable”.
“You can’t get rid of a scandal” Kazansky glanced up with a solemn acceptance, nodding his head slowly in acknowledgment, “You can only make a bigger one”.
#Fake/Pretend Relationship#Hidden Relationship#Forbidden Love#Throuple#Mention of Don't Ask Don't Tell#Don't Ask Don't Tell#Homophobic Workspace#Old Homophobic Thinking#Inspired by Set It Up#Modern Era#Alternate Universe - Modern Setting#Alternate Universe - Office#Dom/sub Undertones#Established Tom “Iceman” Kazansky/Pete “Maverick” Mitchell#Developing Relationship#Revealed relationship#Secrete Marriage#Secretary and Boss Action#Ice is a weapon manufacture#Mav is a Navy Contractor#Beau is a Secretary and Designer#POV Beau “Cyclone” Simpson#Beau “Cyclone” Simpson is So Done#Beau “Cyclone” Simpson is a Softie#Dom Beau “Cyclone” Simpson#Bottom Beau “Cyclone” Simpson#Protective Pete “Maverick” Mitchell#Married Tom “Iceman” Kazansky/Pete “Maverick” Mitchell#Pete “Maverick” Mitchell is a Little Shit#Bottom Pete “Maverick” Mitchell
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Polyamory is queer.
(For context, we are queer. We are a system full of trans, altersex, m-spec, a-spec, and gay headmates. We are not allies, we are literally LGBTQIA+)
This is something that bugs us very much, and we want to talk about it, because it is something we firmly believe in. Hear us out. Don't jump straight to arguing.
The definition of queer, nowadays, is someone that falls outside of the societal norms of sex, gender, gender expression, and attraction/relationships.
This includes people that are intersex, altersex, on the transgender & non-binary spectrum, gender non-conforming/pronoun non-conforming, a-spec, m-spec, gay, or otherwise experience non-normative attractions (queerplatonic & alterous attraction, autoattraction, etc.)
When discussing the rights of those with queer attraction, sexes, and genders, multiple topics consistently come up.
-Marriage equality and legal partnerships. -The rights to be seen in public (either as yourself or with your partner.) -The rights to be loved and accepted by friends and family. -The rights to be allowed work and housing. -The rights to adopt or have children. -The rights to be welcomed into cultural spaces without judgement (such as religious spaces.) -The rights to reliable healthcare.
All of these are things we should continue to fight for. They are basic human rights. The fight for our rights is what brought us together as a community.
You know who else struggles with those same issues? Polyamorous people. Ethical non-monogamists.
Polygamy is not legalized in a majority of locations. Polyamorous people cannot legally marry more than one of their partners. (See legalized locations here. Read about legality of it in the USA here.)
Being polyamorous can lead to being shunned by a community, slut-shamed, and even lead to acts of violence being performed against someone. It is treated like a dirty little secret.
If someone comes-out as polyamorous to their family or friends, they will often lose those people. They receive nearly the same commentary used by homophobic and transphobic people - calling it "sin" to love and desire people the way they do, and that its not in Gods plan. Being told they can change and that they don't have to be this way. Telling them to get rid of their partners because its immoral. They often feel forced to stay in the closet about their polyamory. (As described here.)
Polyamorous people get shamed at their workspaces, or may even struggle to find jobs. If they discuss their relationships with co-workers, or employers see photographs of them kissing multiple partners, they are often deemed "promiscuous" and "bad rep for the company." It can also affect housing, health insurance, and other things that partners may share. Even in situations where a partner is hospitalized, often only one partner is welcomed to visit them in their hospital room, while the others either have to stay back or lie about their relationship with the hospitalized individual. (Check here and here for further detail.)
The treatment found in workspaces and housing also applies to polyamorous people who wish to adopt - they are often declined and deemed unfit for adoption if their polyamory is discovered, just as people in same-gender relationships are declined adoption. And polyamorous people who have biological children, too. It is treated as an inappropriate setting to raise kids around, as if they are performing a kink, fetish, or sexual act in front of the child. (See here for more details.)
Polyamory is treated like a purely sexual thing. You know how people in same-gender relationships are treated as though their relationships must be purely sexual, and thus, inappropriate around children? That is exactly what happens to polyamorous people, too. Yes, some same-gender relationships are based around sex, but thats not always the case. That same logic applies to polyamory.
Polyamory can be romantic, queerplatonic, alterous, sensual. It doesn't have to be sexual. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. And even if a polyamorous individual is behaving promiscuously, why does that deserve judgement? They wouldn't be doing it in front of non-consenting individuals (like children.) And even if a polyamorous person does something inappropriate, that shouldn't reflect on the community as a whole. Just like how a monogamous person can do something inappropriate, without it reflecting on monogamy as a whole.
Polyamory is treated as purely a choice, which is highly inaccurate. Some ethical non-monogamists view it as a choice, because they are ambiamorous. Most purely polyamorous people, however, do not feel like they have any control over their desires, and would find monogamy restricting and unfit for their way of life. (Read here for perspective.)
For reference, in the USA, about 5% of people are in ENM relationships. That's approximately the same amount of people that are gay and m-spec in the United States. ENM is a marginalized minority, just as all other LGBTQIA+ identities and experiences are. They should be included in queer discussions. They are queer. They have been part of the queer community from the start.
They are a marginalized orientation. Marginalized orientations belong in the queer community. And before you argue that its only sexual and romantic orientations, hear us out - those describe who you are attracted to, and in what way. Relationship orientations describe how many people you want to be with and the structure of it. The two go hand-in-hand.
Every segment of the queer community is latched at the hip, forming a line. Sex relates to the topic of gender. Gender relates to the topic of sexual & romantic orientation. Sexual & romantic orientation relates to the topic of relationship orientations.
Polyamory and same-gender relationships have a history together. This can be seen in concepts such as free love. And much like how transgender and same-gender relationships were normalized in some BIPOC cultures (and erased/overtaken by Western colonization), polyamorous relationships were also normalized in many of those same cultures as well.
As a community, we need to start including polyamory within our discussions, within our fights, within our protests. Even in the fight for "marriage equality," polyamorous relationships get completely shunned from the discussion. (See here.)
"Love is love" applies to them, too. Lets come together as a community, not tear each other apart.
And before you bring up cishet polyamorous people, please remember, cishet people can be queer too. Cishet people can be intersex. Cishet people can be altersex. Cishet people can be a-spec. Cishet people can have queerplatonic and alterous relationships. Being cishet and being queer are not mutually exclusive.
Also keep in mind, this is the exact same discussions people used to have on non-binary, a-spec, and intersex people. The idea that they were not belonging within the community, even though they were always present. Little by little, different aspects of the community have come out of the woodworks and requested a safe space amongst the rest.
#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbt pride#body diversity#educate yourself#diversity#education#educate yourselves#polygamy#polyamourous#polyamory#polyamorous#polyam#polyam pride#polyam relationship#polyamarous#polygamous#equality#equal rights#queer pride#queer community#queer#lgbtq community#pride#relationship#marriage#marriage equality#adoption#adoptive family
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Homophobia/ racism pushed by capitalism and conservatives
Yet another example ab how capitalism and right wing ppl will do anything and everything for Profit. You have to blend in in order to have a chance. People will use the church for money as we saw in many examples (ex. France). Capitalism doesnt allow us to be free. Dress coding at work and in school because if people are supressed that way they can get Controller easier. Think about it. You cant be yourself in workspaces because it gets made weird to control. Obviously this isnt enough for capitalists. They will be homophobic to get cheaper workers. This goes as far as manipulating the Population thru church and the govermemt to hate on poc or queer ppl.
Again, this wasnt enough for them, capitalists and facists went as far as not hiring biologically different workers. This has been ongoing. Of course when the Bourgeoisie gets exposed they dont admit it and blame it on the Individual people in Power, whilst Promoting the same things, just hiding it. People do not see this. HOW
This goes as far as using for ex. Pride month to make more Profit. While showing their "support" for the queer community. In a couple years, i bet the goverment will use Blm month...... ironic.. isnt it
#marxism#Bourgeois#communism#communist#kommunismus#karl marx#marxist feminism#marxist theory#marxist#marxist leninist#red#anarchocommunism#anarchism#anarchist#capitalism#anti capitalism#anti facist#fuck facists#facism#ussr
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hello! i currently have a murderbot art zine on offer, in exchange for donations to queer refugees. it is a 14-page art book with my own concept art, focusing on characters in tmbd, murderbot's anatomy and ART's construction. it is pay-what-you-want, and all proceeds go to help queer refugees in Kakuma Refugee Camp, where life is difficult because of homophobic attacks and threats. you can find out more details here. please consider donating, or reblogging my post to spread the news! thanks for your time <33333
Oh that's so great!! Copying the zine info below:
Calling all Murderbot fans!!
Are you interested in Murderbot concept art? Do you also want to help queer refugees?
Then this is the zine for you!
For a pay-what-you-want price, you can receive a digital art book of all my concept art of TMBD! All donations go towards helping queer refugees in Kenya, currently in need of food and medicine. Living in Kakuma Refugee Camp is difficult, espescially since they are constantly at risk of homophobic attacks, and the UNHCR does not provide them sufficient help.
All the money collected from this art book goes directly towards their gfm!! Find out more @kakuma-queer
To receive a copy of the zine, simply donate any amount of money (recommended 15USD) to their gfm, and send proof of donation by filling out the form below:
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Pros: my work gave me a rainbow nametag
Cons: it's the one with the godawful chevron of the spicy straights slapped over it
I'm gonna bring a labrys sticker from home to cover that part. And HR handed it to me so reluctantly saying "you have to take it off at the end of June" and uhhhh no I'm actually gay all year round Kimberly. Feel sooooo supported in the workspace by you rn 🙄
Also driven by constant homophobic whining from my loser coworker to sign up to be in my company's float or whatever in the Pride parade this year. I might be the only gay person on the float but I'm not missing the parade for working with this chump.
#selkie overshares#got regular old religious homophobes AND spicy straight homophobes in here#so they will have to pry this rainbow out of my name badge lol
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INTRO
The function/purpose of the blog
This is just a place where I'll try to organise pictures I found on Pinterest.
Why am I not doing that directly on Pinterest? Because it makes me want to rip out my hair when I try to organise my pins in a way that makes sense - there's no way to track which pins I've saved to multiple boards, moving the pins from board A to board B is unnecessarily difficult etc.
Tagging System
I'll try to make a masterlist of tags I use to make life easier for myself and people who'd like to use my blog as a resource, but in the meantime the main (read: the most basic) tags I'll be using are:
#☆▪︎Hermes Collects Blue Stars▪︎☆
General tag for all my posts that aren't reblogs.
#☆▪︎Hermes Reblogs▪︎☆
Self-explanatory ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#☆▪︎Hermes Posts▪︎☆
All of my 'original' posts with pictures.
#☆▪︎Hermes Speaks▪︎☆
If I ever feel the need to talk about something.
About me as a person
Hi! You can call me Hermes, I've been alive since June 2006, I use he/it pronouns and any neos/xenos if you want to be funky and add a healthy dose of whimsy to your day.
I'm just a guy(-ish creature) who's obsessed with pretty pictures, setting up notion workspaces and making moodboards.
I'm AuDHD so if you want to send me a DM/ask please use tone tags and don't be surprised if I don't respond, my anxiety hates texting lmao. I really want to make friends but it's hard.
I'm a queer, disabled and a punk - so I will be blocking freely if I see any homophobes, transphobes, racists, terfs and other assorted assholes interact with my blog. Free Palestine, Free Congo, Free Ukraine - no one's free until we're all free. And remember: yes, you can't change everything on your own, but a better world is possible, so organise and work towards it with your friends!
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i love non homophobic homophobic workspace which swore they have an inclusive culture 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 should i just kill myself infront of u
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All of this is so delicious and I actually really enjoy the prompts for Good parents Jack and Maddie, because some of the stuff I've read Bruce/Batman doing (and sometimes Alfred facilitating his shit) is absolutely horrific. The "they feel like evil alternate versions of batman" point is one I vibe so hard with actually, because they really do feel that way. Why the hell would anyone route for Batman at that point? Those comic lines in my opinion can only end 'happily' (technically more a hopeful ending) if it's about the kids escaping from Bruce bc JFC. Hell even the Joker/Batman dynamic can be argued to breakdown in those comics bc the joker is interested mainly in breaking Batmans 'goodness' right? Well what goodness does batman even have to break at that point?
I will add that I'm in a similar boat that my understanding of batman comes from the cartoons where he's fairly decent, at least in part bc those are the ones I grew up on but also massively because I'm not willing to spend my money and time on the worlds most depressingly abusive storylines. That being said i think in regards to Jack and Maddie being bad parents as a trope it's at least in part fear soothing/wish fulfilment/escapism (as is the point in most fanfiction really)
Realistically we spend a lot of the show watching and listening to Jack and Maddie talk about hurting ghosts, hunting ghosts, wishing very extremely vile pain and torture on ghosts, spending their entire lifes work on studying, inventing, and otherwise doing everything in their power to create things to trap, torture and straight up dissolve ghosts in the cases of things like the ecto-dejecto (even if that one didn't work and made ghosts stronger instead) While they clearly love their kids and details of that are scattered absolutely everywhere (they even have pictures of jazz and danny in their workspaces, which is inarguably adorable) the in your face loud and vocal portions of their character are 'ALL GHOSTS SHOULD SUFFER'
Not to turn everything Gay, but honestly the coming out analogy is like. Right There. Especially when you consider a lot of the fandom is old enough to have watched DP back when it was airing a full ELEVEN YEARS before equal marriage came in in force all over the USA.
I think it's fair to see a lot of the Bad Parent Jack and Maddie au's as a type of fear venting, Danny's life would be like having homophobic parents and you've just realised at 14 you're gay. The fear that your parents hate will outweigh their love for you is unfortunately not an unfounded one, Danny's situation is just a very weird type of coming out. Hell Danny actually tries to tell them in the first episode and is stopped by Jazz interrupting, considering Danny then spends a good bit of the episode wishing his parents could 'cure' him cough conversion therapy cough the analogies get only stronger imo. And really that would have been a massively different show if Danny had succeeded in telling them or could even make an interesting early days crossover, if someone comes across this 'meta kid' who's parents are trying/claim to have 'cured' him. Danny coming to accept his ghost half through the ghosts he gets to know only to find out neither he or they are all monsters would likely never have happened if he had managed to tell J&M about the portal incident early on.
So, basically my opinion is that Jack and Maddie get shafted to deal with the fear of parental rejection! RIP to them! So then why Good Parent Bruce? Bruce is an obvious choice in the DC to pick up kids, the guy gets mocked even in comics now for having an adoption issue because he Just Cannot Stop picking up disadvantaged but very capable children. If Jack and Maddie are for dealing with the fear of parental rejection, Bruce/Batfam could very much be seen as landing in the middle of the perfect found family and the hope that even if everything goes to shit and you loose everything you've ever loved and known, there's a light at the end of the tunnel (i mean goddamn how many isekai and other genre managa have literally this exact trope? Of everything going to shit but oh! suddenly! you live in a palace actually and everyone loves you and there's strife but there are people who love and support you and everyone magically makes it through!! You also probably marry rich!!✨✨✨!!!)
TL:DR Jack and Maddie probably get shafted in an exercise about healing the fandoms inner child from a fear of parental rejection, Bruce is a big shiny rich dad prize.
I decided to take a look-see over at what's going on with this DPxDC crossover stuff over on AO3 just to get a sense of the general vibe of the fandom over there. And just... Y'all be killing me with these Additional Tags.
Like, don't get me wrong, most of these I get. I can vibe with a Ghost King Danny AU. Everyone agrees that Phantom Planet was shite. But like... Bad Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton combined with Good Parent Bruce Wayne...? Why do you have to do Jack and Maddie dirty like that!??? Like, don't get me wrong, Jack and Maddie are far from being perfect parents. They can be forgetful or overenthusiastic about hunting ghosts, but they are genuinely trying to be good parents! They very clearly care about Danny and Jazz, try to be involved with their lives, care about their interests, and support them, while also giving them the space they need to grow and be independent as people. And most of all, they would never do anything to intentionally hurt their kids! As far as cartoon parents go, they're pretty alright! Why you gotta do them dirty like this!? And for what? So that Bruce can be a good parent in their place!?
Now I don't like it when the comic writers make Bruce a bad parent. I don't like how common it is for Bruce to be outright abusive with his kids. But as far as current comics canon stands, he is pretty damn horrific as a parent. What Bruce did to Jason in that recent Gotham War arc in Batman? Absolutely inexcusable. (FYI, he kidnapped Jason and exposed him to some chemical to make him constantly afraid any time his heart starts racing or he has an adrenaline rush. He did this to stop Jason from doing any more crimes. And it's FUCKED!) If I could have my way, I would want Bruce to be a flawed, but overall okay parent. Someone who is trying his damnedest to be a decent parent, but who will stumble and make mistakes now and then. Someone who is a good parent, all things considered, given his life circumstances, but can improve and isn't always great at it. But boy howdy is that not where Bruce is at in current canon! Because like... Where Jack and Maddie would NEVER even consider intentionally doing something that would hurt their kids... Bruce is the kind of character where he might if it gets him what he wants/needs...
Like, in general I'm on board with Good Parent Bruce Wayne, but why does it have to come at the cost of Jack and Maddie being okayish parents? Why not have both Bruce being a good parent and Jack and Maddie being okayish parents!??? Why not let Danny have 3 decent parents!???
#dcxdp#dpxdc#edited to add tags because tumblr didnt want to let me have them#please dont see this as a negative opinion or otherwise attack on any writers#im out here with my armchair phycologist views on media#and a name like 'chewing batman like a squeaky toy'#i know sometimes the point of fanfics is just to play extreme barbie with your favs#squeaky thoughts
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Sure, David Cage might be sexist, and he might be homophobic, and he might write clunky racist narratives, and he might run a toxic workspace, and he might have animated a nude shower scene of an actor without his consent, but he also makes bad games
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Spy and Scouts wonderfully miraculous devastatingly horrific 1 Year of Rehab party, A.K.A, R is for REHAB.
read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42196692
by 5thApartment
Scout and Spy celebrate their 1 year of being in rehab together with the rest of the mercenaries.
A celebration gift for the wonderful danny
(my asscheeks are sticking to my chair rn)
Words: 818, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Team Fortress 2
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Other
Characters: Scout (Team Fortress 2), Spy (Team Fortress 2), Scout's Mother (Team Fortress 2), Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2), Zhanna (Team Fortress 2), Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Demoman (Team Fortress 2), Heavy (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2), Pyro (Team Fortress 2), Engineer (Team Fortress 2), Sniper (Team Fortress 2)
Relationships: Scout/Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Spy/Scout's Mother (Team Fortress 2), Soldier/Zhanna (Team Fortress 2), Miss Pauling/Zhanna (Team Fortress 2), Demoman/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Demoman/Medic (Team Fortress 2), Demoman/Heavy (Team Fortress 2), Medic/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Heavy/Medic (Team Fortress 2), Heavy/Soldier (Team Fortress 2)
Additional Tags: Rehabilitation, Rehab, DadSpy, Spy is Scout's Parent (Team Fortress 2), Scout Knows Spy Is Scout's Parent (Team Fortress 2), this is demo/medic/heavy/soldier and soldier/zhanna/pauling, theyre all in love, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2), soldier is nonbinary and uses all pronouns, speeding bullet, Sniperscout - Freeform, Nonbinary Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Character, Scout is transmasc, Medic is bigender, heavy is heavy weapons, demo is too cool for gender, Partying, Party, Rehab party, this is partially a crackfic, me and my buddy friend are celebrating, but celebrating still, I wrote this in a few hours, be patient with me, VERY Out of Character, spy is a demigirl, and wlw, and so is scouts mom, danny hi if youre reading this, Character Death, Death, Everybody Dies, Everyone Is Gay, OP is homophobic, i hate gay people, im queer, op is gay, Weed, Alcohol, Nonbinary Pyro (Team Fortress 2), yeah its the 1980s but i could care less, you can fight me or make out with me if you have a problem with it, sniper is also trans, Tom jones - Freeform, uhh yeah, Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, non-osha compliant workspaces, OSHA - Freeform
read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42196692
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I’m suddenly so angry about an anon I received a few weeks ago about how Harry is a coward for not coming out by now since its “safe” and he’s doing the LGBT community a disservice and it was clear they were from within the fandom.
How about we treat his role as a music artist as any other job like this fandom often loses sight of. It’s 2022 and you luckily work in a progressive enough workspace in the western world. No one’s outright homophobic and no one you know is violently homophobic. But your boss and colleagues still like to stand around the water fountain and exchange vaguely homophobic jokes “all in good fun”. There’s that one manager who gets that weird pinched look on his face when anyone in the office discusses the upcoming pride marches and such. A lot of your colleagues don’t do that but enough of them do for you to put up a picture with your partner but alternate telling people if they’re a friend or a spouse depending on who’s asking.
It’s not that the environment in the western world isn’t “safe” per se. Your boss isn’t going to lynch you for being gay but he’s probably gonna give that promotion to Steve over there who’s a “proper family man” justifying it in his head that Steve just deserves it more in a practical sense yk.
So yeah Harry and Louis may not get mobbed (although the online death threats would still be fkn insane) but they will feel the life long consequences of it. And with the recent overturning of Roe v Wade, its clear that no oppressed group is in the clear if they have legislative backing. Laws can and are being reversed. If a law in America that’s been around for 50 years could’ve been reversed who’s to say a legislation for gay marriage constitutionalised just 10-15 years ago stands any chance?
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"It's well past time for 'We the People' to have a voice in the marketplace and that voice was heard loud and clear today," Seifert said. "We're excited to be able to invest in a company that shares their values and now, it's time to execute."
It seems that for Seifert, the only people in America who count as "We the People" are those who share his right-wing values. 🤔
Let me get this straight. This is a marketplace for companies that are "anti-woke," so wouldn't that mean:
Companies that are opposed to business practices designed to curb climate change (assuming they believe climate change even exists🙄) but instead promote making short-term profits by using or developing fossil fuels--and by refusing to finance, develop or use green energy.
Companies that pretend that they are "color blind," so that they can remain largely white corporations, especially at the managerial and executive levels.
Companies that pretend "sexism" doesn't exist, so they can continue to have mostly male managers and executives and unequal pay scales.
Companies that believe in de-regulation and laws that prevent lawsuits against businesses, so they can be free to use inferior materials in their products, dump chemicals into local waters, bust up attempts to organize labor, not check whether the food they produce is contaminated, not care about hazardous work environments, pollute as much as they wish, not care about paying a minimum wage or overtime, and not care about using child labor.
Companies that believe in freedom of (politically incorrect) speech, so that employees can say the most racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic things in their workspaces without fear of anyone objecting. In fact, the only speech they would likely prohibit would be from "woke" individuals who object to hateful things being said on the job.
Companies that support the rights of right-wing "Christians" in their companies to use their "deeply held religious beliefs" to oppose doing business with or hiring members of the LGBTQ+ community or those who promote and support Pride merchandise.
Companies that believe in freedom of employees to choose whether or not to follow the advice of the CDC, so the next time a pandemic hits, these companies will have no vaccine or mask mandates and in fact will likely discourage employees from getting vaccinated or wearing masks in the workplace. (Who cares if employees get sick and/or die? Their executives and managers will be working remotely anyway. 🤦🏻♀️)
Companies that support the rights of executives in their companies to use their "deeply held religious beliefs" to prevent the health insurance they provide their employees (if they even bother to provide health insurance) from reimbursing employees for contraception and/or abortions (even in cases of rape/incest or where the health of the mother is in jeopardy).
So is THIS what they mean by anti-woke?
I'm surprised more people aren't dancing in the streets at the prospect of the dawning of an anti-woke marketplace.
Chants of "U-S-A!" were heard on Wall Street on Thursday after the woke-free marketplace PublicSq went public on the New York Stock Exchange.
In a video posted by the Post Millennial, PublicSq founder and CEO Michael Seifert can be seen ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange alongside supporters such as Donald Trump Jr. In the video, many "U-S-A!" chants can be heard from the crowd.
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Mr. Sandman (Ms Venable x reader)
i guess its kinda bad and i actually wanted to delete it, but here we are haha...
this fanfic is inspired by “Mr Sandman” (syml)..
google translate mwuah
summary: i dont want to spoil.. uhm.. Y/N thinks, her life with Mina is perfect and then a letter changes everything? something like that–
pt. 2: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/643509412185751552/mr-sandman-pt-2-miss-venable-x-reader
Whoohoo
"I never felt love .." Ms. Mead said.
"Neither have I ..", Ms. Venable answered.
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Make her the cutest that I've ever seen
Give her two lips like roses and clover
And tell her that her lonely nights are over
Mina loved you more than anything else in this world. You were her good girl, her princess and you would do anything to make her happy. You looked after the house, you cleaned, you went to the supermarket. You would always ask how she is doing and put her needs above your own.
And at night you lay close to her, your head rested on her chest and she whisperes sweet things in your ear, every evening until you would fall asleep.
And you were so in love with your Ms. Venable. She was so damn smart and proud and her scoliosis had never been a problem for you. You helped her where you could and you loved to see her happy. You were a very emotional person, but Mina was always there to hold you tight.
And while you were taking care of the house, she was the one managing your finances. You found the strict, powerful Ms. Venable, who she was at work, incredibly attractive, but the Mina, who she was at home, was your heaven on earth.
Even though it was almost 4 years ago, you still remembered like it was yesterday when she came into the bookstore, you worked at, to ask for a book. She looked so beautiful when she leaned against the cashier's counter to discuss about Stephen Hawking with you. Many people would describe her as cold-blooded, but you loved her rational way of dealing with things.
Your life seemed perfect and then a little letter should change everything.
----
"I forgot to tell you, that you got a letter .." you said and leaned in the doorway to watch your girlfriend,who was at her desk working on a document.
"Give it to me .." she muttered absently, still staring at the paper. She held out her hand in your direction and you jumped into the room to put the letter in her hand.
"I've already opened it .." you said nervously.
She raised her eyes in your direction and raised an eyebrow.
"Since when are you reading my letters, Y / N?"
"I'm sorry..I thought it looked kind of important..you know, he's from your college .."
Her gaze froze at your words and you became even more nervous.
"The graduates from your year will meet next saturday and you have also been invited .." you continued slowly.
"I was wondering if we might- .."
"No." she said firmly, still staring at you.
"But Mina .." you moaned.
"I know you hate people, but I think you'd have fun .. something like that is cool .."
"I said no, Y / N ..." she repeated, with a hint of anger in her voice, before taking the letter and tearing it up.
"You are stupid ..".
You stomped out of her study angrily.
---------------------
"You know, my college days weren't that great either .." you said, poking around at your food.
"But I would still go to this meeting .."
Mina sighed.
"You have no idea .. my college days were like hell to me ..".
Her mind wandered back in time to the lost girl she was in college. Everything was actually perfect, Mina was smart and loved to challenge her professors. But then she fell in love with the Meangirl and everything was upside down. She had never been in love and this girl was just as gay as her homophobic mother. And she was the darling of all professors and students. Mina had never even been in her field of vision, no matter how loud she shouted. And, of course, the Meangirl was dating Jonathan Cray, the blond handsome guy everyone adored. But as beautiful as he was, Mina had always seen how he had broken her heart. And every time she had wanted to kill him. She would have looked after her so well, not treated her the way he did.
"You don't have to tell me about it, if you don't want to .." you said when you realized how thoughtful she was and put a hand on hers.
"Thank you, princess .." she said softly and smiled sadly at you.
When you lay in bed in the evening, your head was on her chest, as always, while you read from the book what you just had in common. One of your favorite habits in your relationship.
Unfortunately, Mina couldn't concentrate on that.
The floral scent of your hair made her think of her again.
You smelled like her.
Absent-mindedly, she ran her hand over your bare back.
Your skin was as soft as hers.
"Mina?" You asked, lifting your eyes to look at her when you noticed that she wasn't focused.
Your eyes had the same shine as hers, Mina realized as she stared into your eyes.
"I love you so much, princess .." she muttered, pressing her lips against yours.
And you tasted like her too, at least as Mina had imagined.
You were perfect
Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
-------------------------
Mina herself had made sure that you didn't have to work next Saturday, she didn't want you to leave the house that day.
You'd been confused, but her explanation was too sweet and you took the day off.
"You know, I have the feeling we haven't had much time for each other in the last few weeks and I would love to spend Saturday with you, princess ..", she said and you were happy.
Now she was only working for a few hours this morning and then you'd have her back.
You got up from the bed and opened the door to Mina's closet, which was separate from yours.
A few years ago Mina had already given you a hoodie of her own and as cute as it was, you unfortunately had to discover that time had borrowed it quite a bit and the purple was almost washed out. You reached out your hand to her turtleneck and pulled it over your head. Minas lavender perfume got into your nose and gave you a feeling of security
Just as you were about to close the closet, you noticed a box, that was on the floor of the closet, labeled with your name. You knew you shouldn't be getting hold of her things, but your name was on it, so it was your business somewhere.
You bent down to pick up the box, a shoebox. Before you opened it, you sat down on the bed edge. You carefully removed the lid and stared into the box, confused.
There were drawings in it.
Very direct drawings,..drawings of you.
You took the leaves, which had become wavy over time, and looked at them. Mina had drawn that, you were sure of that. Nobody would pay more attention to the details than Mina. These drawings were good, you couldn't imagine why Mina should hide them in her closet. Which is why you decided to hang them up. You jumped happily into her workspace and your good mood fell when you looked at Mina's desk. She had forgotten her bag. She never actually forgot anything. Confused, you grabbed the bag, determined to bring it to your girlfriend.
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Make her the cutest that I've ever seen
Give her the word that I'm not a rover
And tell her that her lonely nights are over
-----------------
As you walked through the large building of kineros robotics, you couldn't help but wonder again about this strange work.
You walked past Jeff and Mutt's office and watched in disgust as the two of them were taking drugs as usual.
"Look! The prodigal son has found home .." Mutt exclaimed when he saw you and grinned.
The prodigal son?
Slowly you stepped into these idiots' office.
"Did Venny send you to update your system?" Laughed Jeff.
Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer, someone interrupted you.
"What are you doing here Y / N ?!", Minas voice barked behind you and made you flinch.
You turned around and stared into her wrinkled face.
"You forgot your bag .." you said quietly and held up her bag.
She inhaled sharply.
"Give it to me and go home, you shouldn't be here ..".
Without a word, you handed her the bag before you ran past her outside.
That was embarrassing and you couldn't explain why Mina was so angry. You just wanted to help her.
Annoyed, you got into your car and were about to start when something caught your eye. A young couple crossing the parking lot. He was holding a child, but your attention was on her.
Maybe you got crazy, but this woman looked like you.
Or did you look like that woman?
You could only stare and watch the couple go into the building. When the two of them disappeared behind the door, you blinked in confusion. That couldn't be possible.
Probably she just looked like you and besides, she was about 30 meters away from you.
You shook your head at yourself before you started the car to drive home.
-------------
Mina sat in her office and thought hard, should she be alarmed about what Jeff and Mutt had said to you?
A knock on her door made her jump and she let out a little scream as she saw who it was.
There she was, the love of her life, her hand still tied to Jonathan Crays. She balanced a toddler on her arm.
"Y / N ..", Mina uttered surprised when Y / N and Jonathan entered the room.
"Didn't you expect us?", asked Y / N and grinned.
God that smile.
"Not really .." Mina muttered as she turned red.
"We saw that you didn't register for tonight and now we've come to pick you up.."
Mina stared at couple. Jonathan looked totally bored and didn't look at all like he was enjoying being here.
"Come on .." Y / N pleaded.
"This is going to be fun ... do it for me .."
Do it for me.
These words ached in Mina's heart. She would have done so much for Y / N.
"I can't .." she began.
"I promised my girlfriend to spend the night with her .."
"Your girlfriend?" Y / N repeated with big eyes.
"Of course she can come along if she wants .."
"I really can't Y / N .."
Mina averted her gaze from the woman in front of her, who was now staring at her in disappointment
"We should go now ..", Jonathan suddenly muttered to Y / N.
"It was nice to see you, Mina .." she said quietly.
Mina
Only Y / N was allowed to call her that.
Mina smiled in pain.
"Have fun tonight .."
Jonathan nodded briefly and pulled Y / N out of the room.
---------------
Mina couldn't stop tears from running down her face as she drove home. This meeting today had shown her, what reality actually looked like.
She hated Jonathan so much, when he put his arm around Y / N when they left the building, it hurt so much to see and now she needed you. You were like her drug, she was addicted to the feeling of holding you in her arms.
"Y / N ??" she called for you when she got home.
"I'm in the living room ..", came your voice and Mina was glad that you no longer sounded angry. She took off her jacket and came walking into the living room, always leaning on her cane, of course.
She smiled gently at you when she saw you, but her smile fell as soon as she saw what you were doing.
"Where did you get this from?" She asked sharply, staring at the drawings.
"They were in your closet and I thought they were beautiful, so I thought I would hang them .." you replied, still seeming to be convinced that it was a good idea.
"I think they look so ... aggressive."
"Aggressive ..", Mina repeated slowly, still staring at you angrily.
She remembered the night she had made these sketches. Aggressive was a good word to describe how she felt back then. She had sat at the desk in the candlelight at night. She couldn't take it any longer. Y / N in Jonathan's arms..
With gritted teeth she had scratched the paper with a pencil. Tears dripped from her eyes onto the drawing in front of her, making the pencil blur. No matter how much it would cost, she was determined to take these sketches to her office the next morning to hand over to these two idiots Jeff & Mutt. You should be perfect.
Oh, Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
So please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
"Hang it up .." Mina hissed at you.
"But Mina-".
"You gotta fucking hang it up .."
You rolled your eyes
"Hang it up yourself if it bothers you .. I try to do everything right the whole day and you're just mad at me .." you said and ran out of the room.
She looked after you and then began to unhook the drawings and toss them into the burning fireplace at the end. She hadn't imagined Saturday like that.
She ran through your house looking for you and finally found you lying on the bed in the bedroom.
"Princess?" She whispered softly as she entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Your back was turned to her
and you didn't move an inch
"Please talk to me .." she continued and reached out her hand to run through your hair.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" You let out.
"You've been totally weird since this letter arrived here ..."
You frowned at her.
Mina swallowed.
"I'm really sorry that I was so unfair .. I've only think back to my college days so often over the past few days .."
She looked at you sadly.
"Then talk to me .." you answered and sat up.
"I don't want to talk about it .." she said, grabbing your hands.
"The only thing that matters, is that you know I love you .."
You nodded slowly and were about to say something when she grabbed your face and angrily pressed her lips against yours.
"Mina what-"
"You are mine .." she growled against your mouth and pulled you into her lap.
"Do you understand me? You belong to me .."
--------------------------
The rest of the weekend was perfect, you gave her everything she needed. Mina had always been a bit possessive and you liked that, but the last two days had been different, she was scared. While she held you in her arms, all she could see was Jonathan putting his arm around Y / N, he didn't deserve her.
Monday morning everything seemed to be back to normal, you went to work just like her and in the evening she drove home and was looking forward to finally seeing you.
But as soon as she unlocked the door, she noticed that something was wrong. Normally you would greet her with a beam of joy, but you didn't.
When she called your name several times and you didn't answer, she panicked to search your house. Finally she heard sobs coming from the bathroom. She ran there immediately, if her stick allowed it.
"What's going on, princess?" She asked worried when she saw you standing by the sink.
"Something is wrong with me .." you whimpered and turned to her.
"What are you talking about?", She frowned and got scared when she saw that your right hand was wrapped in a bandage.
"Please don't be angry .." you began, trembling.
"I wanted to cook and cut myself .."
Mina's eyes widened.
Damn.
She grabbed your hand and unwrapped the bandage.
"I don't know what that is .." you said and more tears ran down your face as Mina looked at the cut on your palm. Instead of blood, cables came out of the interface.
She wrapped the bandage around your hand again.
"Jeff and Mutt will be able to fix this .." she muttered.
"To fix ??" you stared at her in fear.
"We have to go to the hospital, there are fucking cables in my hand .. I need help .."
"You are perfect ..", she growled and pulled you into your living room by your healthy hand.
"What the hell is going on here Mina ??" you asked and yanked yourself out of her grasp.
She slipped past you and sat on the armchair by the window.
"Have you never wondered why you are always healthy? Or why you have no friends or we never visit your family?" She asked challengingly.
You paused.
"What are you talking about? I hate my parents, they kicked me out when I came out to them, but you know that .. And don't say I have no friends .. I don't want friends, that's it. The only person I need is you .. "
She let out an amused snort and rubbed her temples.
"Because I programmed you that way .." she said finally.
"Programmed .." you repeated and you felt sick as you slowly realized what she was getting at.
"Y / N you are my creation .. look at yourself, you are flawless .. I have invested so much time in making yourself as perfect as you are now .."
You stared at her. Is that supposed to be a joke?
"I'm one of your robots?" You asked quietly and stumbled backwards.
That's what Mutt meant by "the prodigal son". But that made no sense, your memories, your family ... They all seemed so real ?!
You let yourself fall into the chair behind you.
"You are not just any robot .. you are my robot .." Mina said and came over to you to kneel in front of you.
Those were the strangest words she'd ever said to you.
You felt like you were about to throw up.
"You're perfect, you look like her ...", Mina said and reached out her hand to smooth your cheek with her thumb.
"Like her?" You gasp. Tears welled up in your eyes. Immediately you thought back to yesterday's woman ... So you weren't unique. A cheap copy from a stranger.
"Look at me and tell me that you are not happy with me ..", Mina looked at you sadly.
All you could do was stare at her. You had been together for 4 years and she had lied all the time. Who knows, maybe it wasn't even 4 years and just a few months.
"I didn't tell you, because I love you.", Mina said, as if she could read your mind.
"Because you love me? I thought honesty was the most important thing in a relationship .." you took her hand from your cheek and stood up.b
"Y / N, I created you .. Without me you wouldn't even exist ..", Mina said and leaned on her stick to get up as well.
"You're crazy .." you muttered and ran into the hallway. Mina hobbled after you.
"What is that supposed to be, Y / N?" She asked when she saw you put your jacket on.
"I'm leaving .. you scare me ..".
You grabbed your car key before heading to the door. Your hand wrapped around the cold doorknob, but something prevented you from opening.
You just couldn't. She had given you everything you ever wanted and even though you just found out that most of it was a lie, you just couldn't leave. Where should you go?Your whole life revolved around this woman and you loved it, she made you feel special.
Tears dripped quitetly on your hand, which was still tightly gripping the iron doorknob.
"You can't .." you heard Mina say softly behind you.
"You can't leave me because I programmed you that way .."
Programmed ..
You let out a sob at her words.
You slowly turned to her, she was standing a meter away from you and smiled sadly at you.
"Come here, princess .." she said and opened her arms.
You didn't hesitate for a moment and jumped into her arms to hold on to her while you cried.
"Shh everything will be fine .." she whispered in your ear.
"You are mine and that's the only thing that matters .."
Oh, Sandman bring us a dream
Make her the cutest that I've ever seen
Give her two lips like roses and clover
And tell her that her lonely nights are over
Oh, Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
So please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
#wilhemina venable x reader#wilhemina venable#sarah paulson x reader#american horror story#mr sandman
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Imagine ur crush walks into ur workspace where you’re being emo and not only implies y’all are already together, but also that you should definitely pluck each other’s eyes out to live some sort of fantasy as if y’all are like already soulmates, a thought that definitely arose the instant your crush opened that door. Like it’s so fucking funny to think of that scenario. With the way jon treated Martin in the earlier seasons I’d have thought he was homophobic
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February Contest Submission #9: Never Take a Chance on Me
Words: ca. 4,000 Setting: mAU Lemon: no Content: ignorant/h0m0ph0bic comment, adult alcohol usage Song: Chance by Hayley Kiyoko
===========
“All I’m saying is I wouldn’t date any of you,” Anna said over her computer monitor. She may be new at this job, but she wasn’t going to start off with any funny business.
“Except for me, right?” Hans asked, winking.
Anna barely refrained from rolling her eyes. “Especially you. For one thing, like I’ve told you every day since starting here last week, I’m gay. Do you need a refresher on what that means?”
“I think you just haven’t found the right guy yet,” he said with a smirk.
“Look man,” Anna said, all traces of joking wrung out from her tone, “I have a girlfriend. Okay? I’m gonna need you to back off.”
The only coworker she liked so far, a petite blonde nicknamed Tink, gasped. “Anna! You have a girlfriend?” She squealed. “Tell me about her!”
Anna’s cheeks warmed. “She’s uh… She’s tall, blonde. Stunning. Her name is — Elsa.” Anna mentally kicked herself for that one. Really? All the names in the world and her own sister’s is the first one she can think of?
Well, she did fit the description, anyway.
Anna continued describing her sister, “And she’s creative, sweet, kinda shy, and although I like to think of myself as the funny one, no one can make me laugh like she does.”
Tink smiled sincerely, “You two sound perfect for each other. Ugh, I just love love!”
“And I love lesbians,” Hans said. “Can I watch sometime?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Anna was beginning to think there wasn’t much worse than an open, modern workspace.
==========
On the phone that night, Anna was sharing details from her first full week at the new job. “Elsa, I think this is the career for me. Like right now I’m just editing other artists’ photos, but if I work my way up, I could really be the one taking them!”
“That’s great!” Elsa’s voice came through the phone, slightly husky after a long day at her architecture job. “As long as they really appreciate you there. As long as you feel valued for the work you’re doing.”
“Yeah,” Anna nodded along. “The company seems like it really values all of us. As long as I can get along with the other coworkers… Do you think I’m too new to the job to file a complaint with HR?”
“What?” Elsa asked. “What happened?”
“Nothing major,” Anna backtracked, not wanting to worry Elsa. “Just this asshole I sit near who keeps trying to make moves on me. He’s just gross — misogynistic, homophobic.”
“Are you serious? Forget HR, get me his address.”
“Elsa! It’s not that bad, I swear. Plus,” Anna fiddled with her braid, “I think I’ve maybe… handled it, after today.”
She heard a beat of silence through the phone before Elsa responded. “What did you do?”
“Nothing, nothing! I just… told a little fib. I told everybody I have a girlfriend.” Anna held her breath.
“Oh.” Elsa sighed, “That’s not so bad.”
“And then I said her name was Elsa and spent like forever describing you.”
A slight choking sound made its way through the phone. “Uh - why, exactly, did you do that?” Elsa asked.
Anna winced. “I just — you were the first person that came to mind?” She sat up straighter and continued, “Well, anyway, it shouldn’t matter because I told them we don’t live in the same town right now; we’re long distance. So it’s not like they’re going to have to meet you or anything.”
“You moved one town away for this job, Anna. We’re only a twenty minute drive from each other. What will you do if someone finds out you have a sister named Elsa?”
“Say it’s a coincidence? Ugh, I don’t know,” Anna covered her face with her free hand. “Maybe we should check our social media and make sure it doesn’t give us away as sisters.”
She heard breathing over the phone for a few seconds. “Sounds good,” Elsa said. “Listen, I gotta go; it’s been a long day. I love you.”
“Love you too, Els.”
===========
Elsa heard the line go dead and immediately let herself fall back on to her bed. She gripped her phone and lightly smacked herself in the head with it each time she said, “Shit, shit, shit!”
What did this mean?
For Anna to be put on the spot to think of a fake girlfriend and Elsa was the first name to roll off her tongue? Did she-?
Could she actually feel the same way Elsa felt?
She shook her head. “No, no no no no.” She couldn’t let herself entertain that thought for longer than a second. Elsa had not suffered this crush in silence for years to protect Anna just to have it all come crumbling down over some slip-up.
There was no way Anna saw Elsa like that. It was a simple coincidence.
Elsa would make damn sure nothing would change because of this. She would never risk losing the bond she and Anna had, all because some jerk at Anna’s work couldn’t take no for an answer.
Fuck.
==========
Anna was finally getting into a groove at work: she and Tink were work-best-friends, she was doing great with her editing skills to the admiration of her bosses, and Hans was mostly just ignoring her after being shut down so many times.
And then she found out about the summer barbecue. A work picnic in the mountains didn’t sound too bad at first, but then Anna realized how serious this company was about their work social gatherings. There would be no backing out of this — and everyone with a partner was going as a couple.
Needless to say, Anna was expected to bring Elsa and everyone was very excited to meet her. Especially Tink.
“Have you asked Elsa to the barbecue yet?” She asked one day during their lunch break. “It’s only a couple weeks away.”
Anna’s fork twirled thoughtfully in her fettuccine. “Ah, not yet. She’s pretty introverted, she’s never liked social gatherings…” Anna saw the look on her friend’s face. “….but I’m going to ask her soon. I’ll make sure she comes.”
Anna smiled at Tink before looking down at her bite of pasta. A cold sheet of panic swept through her chest. What on earth was she supposed to do?
Actually bring Elsa to the picnic and pretend they were dating?
No, Anna knew deep down she already had some pretty sketchy fantasies about her sister without putting the two of them in this kind of situation. She couldn’t allow those feelings to become any more real than they already were.
She could never ask this of Elsa.
==========
It was a warm afternoon in July as Anna’s jeep pulled into the lot at Valley View Park. It had been quite a scenic drive up into the mountains to get there, and she could only imagine what those winding roads would look like in Fall with all the colorful autumn leaves.
Greens and yellows, oranges and reds… Anna could get used to living a little closer to these mountains than she did growing up.
Elsa was less focused on the scenery and more worrying herself sick in the passenger seat, dreading how stressful the evening was going to be. She still wasn’t sure how Anna had convinced her to come to the damn picnic. She’d clearly not been in her right mind when she agreed. The risks they were taking!…
If anyone here found out they were sisters, it would ruin Anna’s chance at a career in that city, let alone that company. And she seemed to really like the job. Elsa sighed. But even worse than those consequences would be if the unthinkable happened… If they discovered real feelings for each other in the process. Or rather, if Anna did. Elsa was well past that.
Because it was one thing to bounce their reputations back from a big misunderstanding of fake incest, but it was another altogether for them to pursue an actual relationship. They would have to move far away, change their names, maybe switch professions…
“Els?” The Jeep’s engine cut out. “We’re here.”
Who was Elsa kidding? Anna would never develop feelings for her anyway.
That thought did make some of the tension ease off Elsa’s shoulders as she unbuckled, opened her door, and slid out onto the hard gravel beneath her sandals. She finally took in her surroundings to see the beautiful trees they parked under. Elsa took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, letting herself feel centered and prepared for the interactions she was about to lie their way through.
Anna came around to Elsa’s side of the car. “Is it okay if we hold hands? To walk up to the lodge?”
Elsa hoped the warmth on her cheeks wasn’t noticeable. “Oh! Yes, that’s okay.” She held her hand out and Anna took it with a gentle enthusiasm.
Anna gave a little squeeze and they walked. There was no denying how nice it felt to hold hands, swinging back and forth slightly with the cadence of their feet. It wasn’t the same as when they were little and held hands to cross the street or to stay together. Even if this was all pretend, it felt intimate.
Anna wished she knew what Elsa was thinking as they approached the large building. It had heavy, steel-framed doors which gave the wooden lodge a modern feel. Anna would’ve bet money that Elsa was thinking about the structure of the building. Architecture nerds were just like that.
Elsa barely noticed the building as they passed through the entryway. She was busy in her thoughts, ‘This is fake. She’s your sister. But today, she’s your girlfriend. You met last year when Anna was finishing college and you walked into the coffee shop she worked at. You went on a date two nights later and the rest is history. Living a whole city away is hard but you make it work; it’s not that far, after all. You usually find a way to spend the weekends together…’
“There you are!”
Elsa was jolted from her thoughts by a small woman with a yellow pixie cut. It wasn’t hard for her to figure out who that might be. “Elsa, it’s so nice to finally meet you — I was beginning to think Anna had made up all those stories about you two,” she playfully elbowed Anna. “But here’s the tall, blonde proof! Wow! Anyway, I’m Tink. Or, well, that’s what everyone calls me. No idea why…” she winked.
Once Elsa was sure Anna’s friend had stopped talking for the moment, she stuck out her hand and gave her a smile. “It’s so nice to meet you too, Tink. I’ve heard all about Anna’s favorite coworker.”
Tink swooned as she shook Elsa’s hand, “Ugh, her voice is just as gorgeous as you described, Anna.”
Elsa raised an eyebrow and glanced sideways at Anna, who had suddenly turned beet red.
“Thanks Tink,” Anna muttered. “Just expose me like that right in the middle of the lodge.”
It probably wasn’t a good sign that Elsa was already having trouble thinking up explanations for Anna’s blush. Other than Anna actually feeling a certain way about Elsa, that is.
“You two are adorable,” Tink’s smile made her eyes crinkle with joy. “Oh! Elsa, you’re an architect, right? Come on, you’ll love the back wall.”
With that, the pair trailed behind Tink as they made their way past a bar, a seating area, and an enormous aquarium filled with a variety of colorful fish. Finally, they reached an extraordinary wall of windows, stretching at least fifteen feet tall and more than double that in width.
Anna gasped beside Elsa as they both took in the view through the glass panes. It seemed they were looking off the very edge of the mountain. They could see hundreds of trees stretching below in a vast valley, leading down to a glistening lake. “Woah,” they said in unison.
Elsa’s gaze wandered up the steel window frames to the ceiling, finally letting herself appreciate the structure. “That really is some great work there — all that glass,” she said. “I’d love to design something like this one day.”
Anna nudged her in the arm. “You’ll be designing way cooler stuff than this before you know it.”
“Thanks, babe—,” Elsa accidentally let slip. She pressed her lips together and looked at Anna with wide eyes as she felt her cheeks warm.
Anna recovered first with a laugh. “So, is this a picnic or what? Where’s the rest of the crew?”
Tink didn’t seem to notice the moment of awkwardness as she bounced to attention and led them through a different set of doors. They followed her outside and down a nicely paved path into the woods. “We have a nice little gazebo down this way and a great place for a campfire when the sun sets!”
Elsa hadn’t been aware this barbecue would be lasting all evening, but she followed silently beside Anna as they approached a group of fifteen or so people gathered around a gazebo.
Elsa was happy to be holding Anna’s hand as they walked up to her coworkers in the wooded picnic area. Anna squeezed Elsa’s fingers and smiled as she greeted them. “Hey guys! This is Elsa.”
They were greeted with welcoming faces and “Nice to meet you!”s and Elsa felt herself letting go of a tension she hadn’t been aware she was holding.
Maybe this was going to work out, after all.
==========
Anna had promised herself she would only have one beer at the picnic. She had to drive them both back to her apartment, for one thing. And there was also the issue of not wanting to let something slip by accident that might reveal the big secret behind their fake relationship.
She was doing fine until she noticed Elsa had finished her second bottle. It wasn’t like her to drink much in public, especially at a gathering where she didn’t really know anyone. But Anna couldn’t help but notice how much more cuddly Elsa was getting the farther into the evening they went.
By the time dusk rolled around, Anna decided they would stay the night at the lodge, and grabbed another bottle from the cooler before settling back in next to Elsa on their log bench. It was apparently time to sit around the campfire and talk, about what, Anna really wasn’t sure.
She didn’t care, with how smoothly the night had been going. The best part was still playing on repeat in her mind: Hans’ shocked face when he saw Elsa. His dumb mouth literally fell open at the realization that Anna had been telling the truth about having a gorgeous girlfriend.
This was all worth it just for that moment.
Anna grinned as she popped the bottle cap off and leaned into Elsa’s shoulder. It was so nice to feel her warmth right there. It felt… easy. Natural. She wasn’t sure how she would feel when the night was over and she couldn’t just have this casual intimacy with her anymore.
“So…. Anna.” Anna was startled to hear her name come from the next log over. It was Tink, with a smile so genuine it was crinkling her eyes, like usual. “Kris and I wanted to ask… how did you two know you were in love? You and Elsa?”
Anna felt her gulp of beer fizz all the way down her throat as all eyes in the group circle found their way to the pair of sisters.
“Uhh…” Anna grappled for words.
“I knew early on,” Elsa said, boldly. “We were spending the night together once at ho- at my place, and she was laying on the couch. I could see her little freckles while she concentrated on something and then all of a sudden she started belching the ABC’s. Got all the way to J.” She raised her beer bottle. “I knew right then and there; I’m in love with that girl.”
Anna was frozen in place as chuckles echoed around the circle. She wasn’t even embarrassed at the belching story; she was shocked that Elsa brought up an actual night she had forgotten all about. It was years ago, before either of them had gone to college.
It took a moment for her to realize they were expecting her to say something and she snapped out of her reverie. A small laugh escaped her as she grinned. “I distinctly remember making it to K.”
Laughter erupted from her coworkers and Anna leaned harder into Elsa’s shoulder. She murmured quietly, “Dug deep into the memory bank for that one, huh babe?”
Elsa tsked her tongue. “Nah, that one is always on top,” she whispered into Anna’s ear.
Thoughts swirled around in Anna’s head as the campfire conversation shifted elsewhere. What was that supposed to mean? How was Elsa so ready with that old memory? Did she take this fake-dating job so seriously that she prepared for any question that might come their way? Or was she secretly amazing at brainstorming on the spot? Or… did she…?
No. Elsa couldn’t have actual feelings for Anna. That would be ridiculous.
Right?
Anna felt her sister’s thumb rubbing circles on her arm as she sat with Elsa’s arm draped behind her, holding her close.
What were the odds that Elsa could feel something more for Anna, if Anna already thought she might have some extra feelings for Elsa? Would it be too much of a coincidence for them both to like each other? After all, the only thing more absurd than just one of them having an incestuous crush would be if it was mutual.
Anna sighed softly and took a long swig of her beer.
She knew that whatever these feelings were, it could never happen, even if it was somehow reciprocated — and yet, she found herself accidentally imagining how soft Elsa’s lips might feel on her own, or how husky her low whisper in Anna’s ear would be if they were lying in bed together.
She was shaken from her thoughts when Elsa tucked a lock of Anna’s hair behind her ear and quietly asked, “What are you thinking about?”
The fire was crackling loudly as conversations continued around the fire pit. Anna glanced at Elsa’s eyes, noticing the reflections dancing around in her irises before looking down to her own lap. She felt shy in a way she’d never experienced before.
“I was …thinking about you,” Anna said softly.
“Hmm,” Elsa hummed. “I was, too — thinking about you.”
Anna’s heartbeat quickened without her permission. “And what were you thinking, about me?” She asked.
“Oh…” Elsa looked up toward the stars, thinking of what to say. “I was just thinking you make a pretty good… date.”
Anna blinked in surprise and felt her eyebrows twitch upwards. “Oh— well, right back atcha.” Anna mentally kicked herself. Real smooth.
Did Elsa say that flirtatiously as part of the act? Because no one seemed to be listening in on them at the moment. So… she must have been saying what she truly felt.
Why was all of this so complicated? Anna sighed, causing Elsa to pull her in a little closer. If only they weren’t related, and this were just a normal crush, Anna would already be asking her out.
“Hey,” Elsa said, murmuring into Anna’s ear. “Looks like some people are leaving. Wanna go back up to the lodge?”
Anna caught Tink’s eye just as she felt Elsa place a kiss gently on her temple. While Tink looked like she’d burst with joy, Anna felt her last resolve melt away. Who the hell would it hurt for two sisters to love each other?
“Yeah, let’s go to the lodge.”
==========
After bidding everyone farewell at the campfire, Anna walked back up the path with Elsa.
As soon as they were out of earshot, they both burst into fits of giggles.
“I can’t believe we did it!”
“We actually did it!”
Once they reached the lodge, Anna found the front desk where they could reserve a room for the night. They got their room number and key before they knew it and took off for the part of the building with the suites.
“So,” Elsa said, “Your coworkers are really nice.”
“Aren’t they?” Anna smiled. “I mean, Tink’s the best, but everyone is good. Except for Hans.”
“He seemed pretty quiet tonight compared to what you’ve told me about,” Elsa remarked.
“Yeah, well I think he was busy trying to wrap his head around the fact that I scored a gorgeous girlfriend leagues above anyone he’s ever been with.”
“Ouch!” Elsa laughed, then quieted down. “You really think I’m gorgeous?”
“Is that even a question?” Anna made a face as they turned a corner. “You’re beautiful, Elsa. And brilliant, and hilarious… should I continue?”
“If you want,” Elsa said playfully, while her pink cheeks betrayed her true feelings.
“But yeah, my coworkers make this job pretty nice,” Anna circled the conversation back. “It’s really too bad.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just a shame; it’s a good job. But I’m going to have to quit,” Anna said.
Elsa stopped walking. “Quit! Why?”
“Because…” Anna said, gesturing between the two of them. “This can’t continue forever. I mean, there’ll be a Christmas work party and who knows what else before the next barbecue. We can’t keep pretending to date.You can’t be my fake girlfriend forever.”
Elsa looked shocked. “I mean — yeah, of course. I know. We can’t do this—”
“Elsa, will you be my real girlfriend?”
“…What?”
“I don’t want to keep pretending because I want to know it’s real. I want it to be real.” Anna took Elsa’s hands. “I care about you more than I should, Els. I love you and I have these feelings that I think I’ve been repressing for a long time, but now I can’t ignore them. And I don’t want to ignore them.”
Elsa stared at her, mouth slightly open. The longest few seconds of Anna’s life passed before Elsa whispered, “I want it to be real, too.” She slid to the floor in the middle of the hallway. “I’ve had feelings for you since before I even knew what to call them. But I knew it was wrong; I pushed it all down and I’ve been so good… so good, trying to protect you from it.” Tears filled Elsa’s eyes as she looked at Anna. “But I guess a little buzz is all it takes for me to let my guard down and admit …I don’t want to be good anymore. I want you.”
Anna sat next to Elsa on the floor. “I’m all yours. Well, as long as you’re not drunk right now.”
“I’m really not.” Elsa wiped her eyes. “But what about your job?”
“I don’t need it. I’ll quit and we can move away, and I’ll take Mom’s maiden name and you can start your own architecture firm, and I’ll be a real photographer!” Anna said. She caught her breath and gently turned Elsa’s chin toward her. “As long as we’re together, I could never be unhappy.”
Elsa gazed into her sister’s eyes, those deep, teal eyes she had known since the hour they first opened into the world. She knew Anna was right. Things would be okay if they were together. It would all work out. She took a deep breath and as the air left her lungs in a tremble, they leaned in.
Anna’s eyes slid closed as her mouth met Elsa’s lips. A quick kiss was followed by one a little deeper. It was so much better than she’d been daydreaming about just an hour earlier; she could feel the passion pouring out from both of them, combining into something beautiful, something that made Anna feel …whole for the first time.
Before long, they pulled back slightly to breathe and a bit of the fog cleared from Anna’s head.
Elsa opened her eyes slowly, feeling like she was still dreaming.
Anna laughed lightly. “Do you wanna find that room?”
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I think you're right about women in male dominated spaces, and when I had a brief brush with academia I saw a bit of it (although honestly I can't tell if it was this same phenomenon or simply that everybody in that faculty hated each other's guts, lol). In my mother's case, though, it's the exact opposite: she works in a very devalued field where there are virtually no men. I don't think she's had a male coworker (as in doing the same job as her; there have always been men in her workspace) in her entire career. But she tends to be distrustful of other women regardless, and I can't really blame her when she's been harassed out of a couple of jobs by groups of women who had been working there longer. In the company she works for now she's the only woman and very at ease with her coworkers. Eh, as long as she's happy until retirement.
It is absolutely baffling to me that there aren't any lesbians in her entire dance class. Or none who have realized they are. They're all widows or married with children in standard cishet marriages. One of them has a gay son. This statistic anomaly strikes me as homophobic.
I'll touch wood in case I run into someone in the new place, but every time my parents, especially my mother, say that women are cattier than men, and you have to be very careful who you trust, and that workplaces full of women are full of backstabbers because they make cliques and are always competing with each other and it's much easier to get along with guys I'm like. I have no idea what you're talking about. At school, at work, in my private life, most women I meet are lovely. I get along with men well, but women of all stripes of life have also been consistently kind to me. Maybe it's a generational thing or I've been very lucky, but to me that sounds like a skill issue, mom. I think you should meet more lesbians.
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