#Home Loan Specialist

[crown-funding-mortgage-broker]

Why Should You Consult a Home Loan Specialist in Surrey Before Buying a Home?

Buying a home in Surrey, Canada, is a significant investment, and it’s essential to make informed decisions throughout the process. One crucial step often overlooked is consulting with a home loan specialist in Surrey.  Read More

[noisycowboyglitter]

"Express Your Love with Cupid’s Favorite Loan Officer Gifts and Decor"

Cupid's Favorite Loan Officer: Helping Couples Achieve Their Financial Dreams

In the whimsical realm of love and finance, there exists a unique professional who has become the stuff of legends – the Cupid's Favorite Loan Officer. This extraordinary individual has dedicated their career to not just processing loans, but to helping couples navigate the often-daunting world of personal finance in pursuit of their deepest desires.

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With a keen understanding of the emotional challenges that come with merging finances and planning for a shared future, the Cupid's Favorite Loan Officer approaches each client with a rare blend of financial expertise and empathetic guidance. Whether it's securing a mortgage for a first-time home purchase, refinancing to unlock new opportunities, or consolidating debts to alleviate stress, this loan officer is adept at crafting tailored solutions that bring couples one step closer to their happily ever after.

But the Cupid's Favorite Loan Officer is more than just a financial wizard – they are a true romantic at heart, committed to infusing each interaction with a touch of magic. From personalizing the loan process to offering advice on romantic gestures and date night ideas, this loan officer is a trusted confidant, a financial wingman, and a guardian of love's dreams.

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As couples embark on their journey towards a shared financial future, the Cupid's Favorite Loan Officer stands ready to lift their spirits, alleviate their concerns, and guide them towards the realization of their most cherished aspirations.

Valentine's Day Gift: Expressing Love Through Thoughtful Gestures

In the ever-evolving landscape of gift-giving, the search for the perfect Valentine's Day gift has become a cherished annual tradition. Far beyond the clichéd roses and chocolates, the true essence of these gifts lies in their ability to capture the unique essence of the relationship and the thoughtfulness that goes into their selection.

Whether it's a handcrafted piece of jewelry that reflects your partner's personal style, a sentimental keepsake that celebrates a shared memory, or an experience that allows you to create new moments of connection, the Valentine's Day gift is a canvas upon which we paint the portrait of our affection.

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It is a gesture that transcends the material, speaking to the heart of the recipient and conveying the depth of our feelings. In a world that often moves at a frenetic pace, the Valentine's Day gift stands as a testament to the power of slowing down, of paying attention, and of honoring the person who has captured our hearts.

Happy Valentine's Day, Dad: Celebrating the Unbreakable Bond

On a day dedicated to the sweet embrace of romance, it's important to remember the enduring love that transcends the boundaries of relationships – the unwavering bond between a father and child.

As we celebrate the joys of Valentine's Day, let us take a moment to honor the fathers who have provided us with a steady foundation, unconditional support, and a guiding light through life's journey.

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Whether it's the tender embrace of a hug, the sage wisdom imparted through your words, or the quiet strength that has carried us through our darkest hours, the love of a father is a treasure beyond measure.

This Valentine's Day, let us express our gratitude, our admiration, and our deepest affection for the first hero in our lives – our dads. For in their steadfast commitment, we find the true essence of love.

[magnumfinance]

Experienced Home Loan Specialist in Melbourne: Your Key to Real Estate Dreams

Planning to buy a dream home? Need some professional advice?

Come to Magnum Finance! Our dedicated home loan specialist team is well-versed in assisting home buyers in Melbourne in navigating the housing market's complexities.

We offer multiple home loan options that aim to make the home-buying process stress-free and smooth.

Tailored to suit your financial goals and situation, our expert mortgage brokers align with your goals by assessing your financial situation.

To know more, visit our website now! 

[raiti-finance]

Navigate Melbourne Property Market with Raiti Finance; Your Expert Mortgage Broker!

Embarking on a property journey in Melbourne? Raiti Finance is your dedicated Mortgage Broker in Melbourne, committed to providing personalised and strategic home loan solutions. With in-depth local market insight, we guide you through every step, ensuring a seamless and stress-free experience. Whether you're purchasing your first home or expanding your investment portfolio, Raiti Finance is your partner in achieving your property goals in the dynamic Melbourne real estate environment!

[westcoastcuttingedgemortgage]

Home Loans for First Time Buyers

Secure your dream home with expert guidance from West Coast Cutting Edge Mortgage. Specializing in home loans for first time buyers, we offer personalized solutions, competitive rates, and stress-free approvals.

[clarityfinancial]

How Clarity Home Loans Broker Helps Peter Save Big with a Lower Interest Rate

Peter recently received fantastic news from the Clarity team: his interest rate dropped from 8.43% to 6.35%, saving him an impressive $60,000 in interest repayments over five years! 💰😲 Thanks to Clarity, he didn’t have to lift a finger—his new, lower rate was automatically applied to his home loan.

As a dedicated home loans broker, we regularly review our clients' loans and negotiate with banks to secure better rates. Let a mortgage broker specialist at Clarity do the hard work for you. No cash rate drop needed—sometimes, a simple call is all it takes to start saving.

[auspakhomeloan]

Your Complete Guide to Buying Your First Home: From Deposit to Purchase! 🏡✨

Ready to turn your dream of homeownership into reality? Our step-by-step guide walks you through everything you need to know, from saving for your deposit to navigating the purchase process. We cover tips on securing financing, understanding contracts, and making informed decisions. Let’s make your first home journey a smooth and exciting experience!

Get started here: Auspakhomeloans.com.au/first-home-buyers

#FirstHome #HomeBuyingGuide #RealEstate #HomeOwnership #DepositToPurchase #AuspakHomeLoans

[ascensionfinancesposts]

Trusted Lake Macquarie Home Loans Specialist - Ascension Finance Pty Ltd

Looking to buy a home in Lake Macquarie? Ascension Finance Pty Ltd in Newcastle offers expert home loan services tailored to your needs. Our experienced brokers work closely with you to find the best loan options, ensuring competitive rates and flexible terms. Whether you're a first-time buyer or looking to refinance, we provide personalized support throughout the entire process. Trust Ascension Finance Pty Ltd to help you secure your dream home in Lake Macquarie with ease and confidence!

[bcreditkings]

Bad Credit Home Loan Specialists Denver | bcreditkings.com

With bcreditkings.com, the top Denver bad credit home loan specialists, you may own the house of your dreams. Allow us to assist you in realizing your aspirations.

Bad Credit Home Loan Specialists Denver

[rajansaggi]

Real estate activity continued to ease in August

Sales of existing homes continued to moderate in August following the Bank of Canada’s latest interest rate hikes in June and July.

Sales fell 4.1% from July and are now 10% below their pre-pandemic level, according to the latest monthly data from the Canadian Real Estate Association. Provincially, the largest drops were seen in British Columbia (-10.9%), Ontario (-6.2%) and Quebec (-4.9%).

Average home prices were also down 2.3% on a monthly basis to an average (not seasonally adjusted) price of $650,150.

However, the MLS Home Price Index, which accounts for seasonality and differences in property types, posted a slight 0.4% increase on both a monthly and annualized basis.

"August was the first full month of housing data following the Bank of Canada’s July rate hike, so a dip in activity was expected,” said Shaun Cathcart, CREA’s Senior Economist. “The demand is obviously still there, and it will be back, but as the housing affordability crisis re-emerges as a top policy issue, for now, the slowdown on the buyer side should help keep a lid on prices.”

Inventory on the rise

With sales slowing and listings returning to normal levels, supply and demand is “continuing to come into better balance,” noted CREA chair Larry Cerqua.

New listings rose 0.8% in the month, marking its fifth straight increase. This caused the sales-to-new-listings ratio to ease to 56.2%, CREA reported, down from 59% in July and the peak of 67.4% reached in April. Meanwhile, the months of inventory measure rose to 3.4 months, up from 3.2 months in July.

“Another sign of a loss of momentum in the real estate market is the proportion of listings cancelled during the month, which continues to rise, a sign that some sellers are discouraged by recent interest rate hikes, noted National Bank economist Daren King.

Strength in Alberta and Atlantic Canada

But the latest data also show that not all housing markets are the same. This is especially true of those in Alberta and the Atlantic provinces, where resales bucked the national trend by trending higher.

Sales were up primarily in Newfoundland and Labrador (+18%) and Alberta (+2.8%).

“Looking across the country, we’re now seeing some clear regional discrepancies after a period where most markets were moving largely in synch,” noted BMO economist Robert Kavcic, who pointed out that Calgary “remains the strongest market in Canada.”

A similar situation is unfolding in Atlantic Canada, where some markets are seeing prices back at their 2022 highs.

“What do these regions have in common? Relative affordability and net provincial migration inflows that are supplementing international immigration,” Kavcic wrote. “Translation: People are moving there because they can live affordably.”

Existing home sales data for September is expected to be released on October 16.

If you have any questions or would like to start the process of finding your ideal mortgage, please don't hesitate to reach out to Rajan Saggi.

Source Link - https://www.mortgagegroup.com/real-estate-activity-continued-to-ease-in-august/

[mortgagesmontreal]

Mortgages Montreal

If you are looking for the best rate in Montreal on a mortgage or other purchase in the Montreal CA area. Then Mortgages Montreal is one of the best Mortgage refinancing companies in the Montreal CA region. We are always looking to provide our customers with more choices and access to hundreds of mortgage products.

[botanicalsword]

Venus ✧ how you pursue love and beauty ♡⁀➷

Where Venus is located, that house is the area where we easily find satisfaction and happiness, a field where the energy of love and beauty manifests.

☽✧. ❦ • ✧• .✧ ✞

♡ Venus in the 1st House

This brings a beautiful appearance and a gentle personality to the Houser - They are skilled at dressing themselves and have good taste and temperament. They generally make a good first impression. Even if their genetics are not strong, they have great fashion and makeup skills.

♡ Venus in the 2nd House

Houser with this placement have a pursuit of a good life, and their way of earning money is related to art or luxury goods. They are willing to spend money to improve their quality of life as long as they are not severely afflicted by Saturn. Usually, they can easily earn money, and their quality of life is quite high. However, if they are heavily afflicted by Saturn, they may easily become materialistic or even take loans to consume luxury items.

♡ Venus in the 3rd House

People with this placement are interested in art or emotional intelligence. Generally, their communication style is pleasant and gives people a refreshing feeling. They have a great sense of aesthetics and tend to be specialist in the field of beauty. It is very comfortable talking with them without much pressure.

♡ Venus in the 4th House

This position indicates a strong concern for the home environment. They have high requirements for comfortable living and enjoy spending money on decoration and arranging their living environment. In childhood, they often come from families with love or artistic heritage tendencies.

♡ Venus in the 5th House

People with this placement have a strong sense of love and know how to indulge in romance and pleasure. They seek to experience and appreciate the beautiful things in life, such as art and music. They often have a good relationship with children as well. The 5th house represents children and Venus, a planet associated with femininity.

♡ Venus in the 6th House

In this position, the work atmosphere is usually good, or the work is related to art and beauty. Additionally, this is the house of health. Venus placed here can easily lead to problems due to unhealthy or indulgent habits. Venus is not a planet of discipline but rather seeks beauty, so it is natural to indulge in things like drinking milk tea occasionally - attention should be paid regarding healthcare.

♡ Venus in the 7th House

This position is quite favorable. The native understands interpersonal relationships well and has high emotional intelligence. They are particularly good at making themselves comfortable through one-on-one relationships, whether it is finding a partner or a business collaborator who can make their life better. However, they should be cautious not to develop a mindset of pleasing or appeasing others too much, nor should they become overly dependent or immersed in relationships.

♡ Venus in the 8th House

This position is beneficial for financial investments. They are adept at utilizing collective resources and have a keen sense. They often have good luck in inheritance and are interested in mysterious matters. They tend to have a deeper understanding of things.

♡ Venus in the 9th House

This is a sign of having exotic love affairs. People with Venus in 9th House are easily attracted to people from different cultural backgrounds and are likely to encounter romance and adventure during foreign or long-distance travels. They also enjoy different cultures and artistic topics. They are experts in discussing popular brands from abroad.

♡ Venus in the 10th House

They are highly concerned about their public image. They channel the energy of love and beauty into their careers and spread love and beauty to the public. They tend to work in industries, such as wedding photography, beauty salons, cosmetic procedures, makeup artistry, and image consulting, all of which are fields dedicated to spreading beauty.

♡ Venus in the 11th House

This benefits forming collaborations with like-minded people. People with Venus in the 11th house are often popular in groups, and they are skilled at finding common ground and creating a harmonious atmosphere. They tend to have many friends and acquaintances.

♡ Venus in the 12th House

This is a hidden placement, it often indicates the hidden traits of Venus. On one hand, people with this placement tend to be reserved in matters of the heart, which may lead to unrequited love or similar experiences. This can be used for understanding, but not for definitive judgments. Additionally, people with this placement have a good sense of art and often possess a unique charm.

☽✧. ❦ • ✧• .✧ ✞

>> Masterlist | explicit contents

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

the lakes - m. murdock

a/n: hey guys so i've been struggling a lot with the fact that i might have hearing loss (i'm going to the doctor next week) and as always i am projecting, but i am not 100% sure everything in this fic is accurate and for that i apologize. but it's my little passion project and i hope you enjoy <3 as always, comments and reblogs are always loved and appreciated! warnings: hearing loss, hearing aids, tinnitus, reader struggling with being disabled, some parts are more vulnurable and don't have the reader being like overly confident in their disability, matt being soft, some suggestive behavior at the end, kissing, nicknames, pretty pg-13 honestly word count: 3.0k summary: your hearing aids run out of battery, and you're forced to struggle through a day of ringing ears and being deaf. matt helps, as he always does. pairing: matt murdock x hard of hearing!reader now playing: the lakes - taylor swift "take me to the lakes/where all the poets went to die/i don't belong/but my beloved, neither do you."

“Are you deaf?”

“What?”

You’re eighteen, home from college for the first time since fall break. Your family sits around for Thanksgiving, and there are so many people talking. There’s about thirteen people at this long dining room table, and they are all talking at once. You’re sitting next to your sister, but you can’t hear her well.

You know she’s speaking, and you’re sure you’re yelling, but you’re frustrated.

“I said, are you deaf? I repeated myself like, four times!”

You feel your face flush.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. You’re mumbling, and it’s loud in here.”

Your sister looks at you like you’re crazy.

“I’m right next to you, and I’m not mumbling. In fact, no one is yelling, either.”

You poke your fork at your sweet potatoes and feel hot, angry tears in your eyes as you avoid everyone’s gaze.

Your mom sits across from you, and frowns, planning to tell you to make an appointment at the student health center when you get back to campus.

She doesn’t even have to. You’ve booked one by the time she says it to you.

At the student health center, they administer a hearing test, and then refer you to a specialist for further testing. You call your mom, crying and she gently comforts you, before driving to the nearest bookstore and picking up a book on hearing impairments and a copy of ASL for Dummies.

At the specialist, they do another round of tests. Your doctor tells you that you do in fact have hearing issues and that you should come back in a year for more testing, to see if your hearing gets worse. For now, you get a doctor’s note that requires all your professors to take your hearing impairment into consideration. The process for getting that applied at your university is painful, and only gets worse through your years there.

Before you get to law school, your doctor tests you again, and tells you how your hearing has been decreasing in quality in the past few years. He says that you’ll need hearing aids to regulate it. You cry because you cannot afford that.

You get captioning accommodations throughout law school, as well as a note taker for certain classes that are entirely lecture based. You still try to take your own notes, but it frustrates you that suddenly you need all this help. Your own notes are incomprehensible and often miss key parts of the lecture as you sit for a few minutes trying to decipher what your professor had said a few minutes prior.

You go into corporate law after law school, choosing to stay out of court initially because you find yourself frustrated that you wouldn’t be able to process all of what’s going on due to the many voices.

You stay at this company long enough to get your hearing aids, long enough to pay your loans, and long enough to save up a good fund for your hearing aid needs.

You quit your job and get hired at Nelson, Murdock & Page as an interim while you decide what you want to do.

With your hearing aids, life isn’t so frustrating anymore. You find yourself enjoying casual chatter and not worrying about processing what your friends are saying. At family dinners, you take your hearing aids out when you’re mad at your family, to which your stepdad, another hearing aid user, always laughs.

And, despite the pay not being stellar at your job, you love it. You love working with people who need help, love fighting injustice, and you love your coworkers.

...

If only Matt Murdock would reciprocate your feelings towards him.

You’ve been dancing this dance for months. You come into work with coffee and stutter when you get to his doorway.

You wonder if he’ll ever know how desperately you want him.

You go about your days quietly, going to the bar with them at the end of a long week. You love your friends and find yourself hoping they know how much you love them.

Karen and Foggy, as well as Foggy’s fiancé, know about your hearing aids since they sit sort of clunkily on your ears.

You don’t tell Matt, though, not at first.

You know how bad it is, to not even tell your blind crush that you have hearing aids. But you’re embarrassed. It makes you sound like an old person even though you’re in your twenties.

But when Matt crawls into your window late at night, bleeding, you don’t even flinch as he crashes onto your floor behind you. You’re reading, your hearing aids out, and he’s unsure why you can’t hear him. Your heartbeat had no reaction, it’s like you don’t even realize he’s there.

He taps you on your shoulder and you turn quickly, and gasp, before starting to sign at him. Even in his disoriented state, he knows you’re doing something with your hands and moving your mouth. At first, he thinks that he might have stuff clogging his ears, but then he realizes you’re signing, probably because you think Daredevil isn’t blind.

He takes off his helmet.

“Matt?” You say, and it comes out a little louder than it should, because you can’t hear yourself to gage how loud you’re being.

He says something, and your gaze focuses on his mouth, where you can barely make out what he’s saying.

“I can’t hear you.” You say, softer now. You reach over to your bedside table and put your hearing aids on. By the time you look back, Matt has passed out on the ground. Oh fuck.

You get your first aid kit and begin to work on his wounds. When you’re done, you pull him onto your couch, now stained with his blood, and watch as he sleeps. Blood covers your hands, and you listen to him breathing.

When he wakes up that morning, you’re asleep on the couch, and when you feel him start to stir. You grab your hearing aids, and turn them on, before watching him wake.

He says your name softly, and you take his hand in yours.

“Hey.. You.. You’re Daredevil...”

“You’re deaf.”

“Hard of hearing. Not fully deaf, just… My right ear is a lot better than my left, but without my hearing aids I’m close to deaf, yeah…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were Daredevil?”

“I was scared. Scared that… That you would view me differently, scared that you wouldn’t like me as much.”

“I was scared too..”

“When did you start losing your hearing?”

“In college. I realized it when I went home for Thanksgiving, and then it got worse from there..” You tell him. A hand reaches out to your face, and you lean into it, letting your cheek rest in his palm. His fingers trail up towards your ear and gently run his fingers over your hearing aid.

“Thanks for stitching me up.” He says softly.

“No problem.”

“The hearing aid does explain the buzzing I always hear when you’re around.”

“You can hear my hearing aids?”

“Apparently. I can hear a lot of things. I have heightened senses. You use pomegranate shampoo and had red velvet cake for dessert tonight. Your heart is racing.”

Your face flushes.

“I can turn them off if it’s bothering you.”

“How would you hear me, then?” He has a point.

“I just don’t want them to bother you.”

“Don’t offer to hide your disability just to make other people more comfortable.”

You kiss him when he says this, in a careful way. You’re gentle, making sure not to hurt him as you do. He lays there and lets you kiss him, his hands on your face. You realize you had no reason to be scared that Matt might reject you for your disability, because he is the only person in your everyday life who really gets how it is to have a disability that affects all aspects of your life.

You trace the healed scars on his skin as you kiss him gently, careful not to hurt him. You promise that you’ll kiss him more passionately when he isn’t freshly stitched up.

• • •

A few weeks passed after that night. You and Matt start seeing each other more and more as you fall deeper in love. You find it silly that you wasted so many days, afraid of talking to each other and maybe disappointing each other over the fact that you both lack a vital sense.

But Matt never views it that way. You wear hearing aids and it’s perfectly fine because most of the time, you aren’t struggling to hear him and cannot communicate with him, and he can’t see when you can’t hear him.

Instead, Matt loves that he can hear your hearing aids buzzing softly because it always alerts him that you’re there. He can hear your heartbeat and smell you, too, but it’s not quite the same as this soft little buzzing that reminds him often of a bee.

Except for this one day.

You slept over at Matt’s on a Thursday and really, you should have known better. You knew your hearing aids were going to need a battery change soon, but you’ve been so busy with work and with Matt, and worrying about him at night, that you’re tired. So tired that you forget to pick up batteries before your hearing aids die.

You sneak out of Matt’s apartment early, sending him a text that you needed to go get changed before work. Really, you want to avoid the fact that you wouldn’t be able to hear him. But he didn’t respond to your message. You decide that you don’t care at this moment and head out to work, debating the right way to tell your coworkers about your predicament.

When you get to work, Foggy is immediately talking to you, and you are tense.

“Foggy—” He’s not stopping. It sounds like he’s mumbling, and there’s this ringing in your ears. “Foggy, I can’t hear you.” He finally looks to you, and says something, you make it out to be a phrase of confusion. “My hearing aids died.” You tell him. You’re frustrated, and Matt isn’t in the office yet.

You deem this as a blessing and a curse. Foggy goes to tell Karen what’s going on and as you’re settling down for the day, you get a text. You hope it’s from Matt, but when you see Karen’s name, you falter slightly.

‘Hey! Foggy told me what was going on. We’ll have your calls redirected to one of us and you can spend the day doing housekeeping and paperwork.’

‘Thanks’, You respond, “Sorry about all this. I’m usually on top of my battery life.”

“Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”

“Still, thanks. Did you hear from Matt at all?”

“No, he probably just slept in late. He should be in soon.”

You try to ignore your anxieties over his absence even though you know that when he does come into the office, you’ll have to struggle to communicate with him all day.

So, for the first hour or so of your day, you try to get some work done but there’s a light ringing in your ears that’s getting worse and worse as you attempt to try and focus on other things. Everything sounds so muffled. You’re so focused that your teeth grind against each other, your muscles tense, as you attempt to try and block out the ringing in your ears.

You have a feeling that by the time you leave today, those hot frustrated tears will be threatening to pour once more.

You don’t hear Matt as he steps into your office and stands by your left side, where you’re almost completely deaf. He stands there for about ten minutes, trying to get your attention before he realizes the light buzzing of your hearing aids are not there.

You must not have them in.

So his hands find your shoulders gently, and instead of tensing, you actually relax under his touch, because you realize that it has to be Matt. A slight turning of your head confirms it and you lean into his touch.

Neither of you say much for a while, deciding to let your frustration slowly dissipate as you lean into his warm hands. They stay on your shoulders and upper arms, rubbing gentle patterns into your skin.

After a good ten minutes of this, his body shifts to your right side and he leans down, before speaking at full volume, maybe even a little louder, just to make sure you can hear him. It still sounds like he’s mumbling, but you can hear him.

“Forgot your hearing aids?”

“Batteries died.” You tell him. “You never answered me.”

“My phone died. I forgot my charger, too.. Are you gonna be okay to work all day?”

“Mhm..” You smile softly, “You’re gonna have to help answer calls, though.”

He kisses your cheek, and you lean into the warmth.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He says, a soft smile on his face.

The day goes by pretty much as you expect it. You spend it doing paperwork and dodging phone calls, your tinnitus gets worse as the day goes on. By the time the day is finally winding down, Karen sends you one final text.

“Matt’s staying a little late to catch up on some work. Want me to walk you home?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”

You realize that because she and Foggy are heading home, you’ll be able to sit with Matt, maybe get a little bit of peace. You’re thankful, too, because you’re about to lose your mind over all of this. The ringing is just getting to be too much.

You wait a few minutes after Foggy and Karen head home before you go into Matt’s office. He smiles at you and gestures for you to come in, and you do. You lean against his desk, as he speaks loud enough now that you can hear him.

“I’ll just be a few more minutes, Bee.” Even the soft-spoken nickname doesn't get you out of your funk, too busy wanting to get on your hands and knees and beg God for your hearing back.

That doesn’t usually happen, but every once in a while you ask him for a normal life.

God sends you a blind man as your soulmate, because he must think that the whole thing is quite funny.

“Okay…”

You feel hot tears pooling in your eyes as you bite your tongue and dig your fingernails into your skin. You almost draw blood.

“What’s wrong?” He can tell that something is wrong. He can always tell, and you’re foolish to think anything less of him, and even more foolish to forget his super senses. A part of you bites back a bitter feeling, since you wish you could’ve had super smell, super sight, super taste, anything in exchange for your hearing. You were not given an exchange, only forced to give, with nothing in there for you.

You forget that your boyfriend has super senses and can taste and smell your salty tears and blood in the air. Damn him.

“Loud… Ringing in my ears, my tinnitus is always really bad when I don’t use my hearing aids for a while..” You say softly. “It’s just.. it really hurts...” You confess, tears slipping down your face.

“Sweetheart..” He takes off his glasses and rests them on the desk in front of him. “C’mere..” You can’t hear that last part, but the way he opens his arms gives you the hint.

You sit on his lap, burying your face in the crook of his neck with a shaky sigh. You feel the thumps of his heartbeat and hold onto it, the ringing in your ears slightly muffled by his skin. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it helps.

His hands linger on your body, gentle caresses of your knee or thigh happening here and there. He just wants you to know he’s there, in the same way he desires when everything becomes too much for him.

“”m sorry..” you say gently, and he just hushes you softly, kissing your head. He traces patterns into your skin. He traces words into it as well.

L-O-V-E.

S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T

He traces your name, his, and your last names.

You kiss him softly, realizing that you might never be 100% okay with your hearing, but Matt will help. He’ll understand. He loves you, and it’s enough to be confident in your future again.

You spend only a few minutes more in the office before you decide to head home, his hand never leaving yours.

You make it back to his apartment and Matt plugs his phone in in case you need to text him and get his attention. You wind up stealing a pair of sweatpants, a tee shirt, and a pair of fuzzy socks. The two of you wind up tangled together on his couch.

Your ear is pressed against his chest as he gently caresses your skin, occasionally moving your hair from your face. He mumbles sweet nothings, and while you can’t hear them, you feel the rumbling vibrations in his chest, and you relish in them. You bathe in the feeling of his heartbeat thumping against his skin.

You fall asleep like this, with Matt touching you and talking in this low tone to make sure you can feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest and in his throat. It’s enough just knowing he’s there. That this thing you thought would deem you unlovable is no match for Matt Murdock, who on your wedding day will throw up the sign for ‘I love you’ in ASL.

For Matt Murdock, who, when you’re taken for loving the devil, will find you and take you into his arms and kiss you so that you know he’s real.

For Matt Murdock, who touches you in all the right ways so you can hear the sounds of your own pleasure.

For Matt Murdock, who will gently trace patterns into your skin when you need to be grounded. For Matt Murdock, who feels himself slipping further and further in love with you and finds himself searching for the soft buzz of your hearing aids when you walk into the room.

[evilminji]

Back at it again with the BNHA crossover Ponderings!

Nedzu is LITERALLY one of THE smartest beings on the planet, right? Like... he's probably on some internationally recognized list of Top Planetary IQs? Which is why Japan let's him get away with so much?

Cause they REALLY fucked him over, he has the power to leave, and that would be really, REALLY bad Brain Drain wise/politically for the Japanese Government? (Also pls don't become a Supervillian we literally can not afford that, Mr. Nedzu Sir? Etc etc)

You think he has... like? Chats? With the OTHER top intellects? Some kid in Siberia with the New Super Intelligence Quirk his parents can't begin to even handle, gets put in history's WEIRDEST group chat? I like to think so.

But the REASON I ask this?

What hero do you call? For Weird Shit in international waters?

Suspicious, floating, weirdly two dimensional and HIGHLY radioactive... corrosive... green goop? Rings? Orbs? CAN it be an orb if it's two dimensional? It certainly LOOKS like there is depth to it... somehow...

A THING. In the sky.

Shouldn't be there, man. This is a shipping lane. It's scaring the people on passing ships. No one knows what Quirk could have made this. Might be a trafficking victim's call for help. Might be a first Quirk Use mishap. They need to know what it IS and how to get rid of it.

They go the normal routes first. Doesn't work. Okay, call in some professionals. Kinda pricey, but no big. Right? Doesn't work. Okaaaay, call in a SPECIALIST. REAL pricey, but this thing is holding up international trade, making people in fancy ass suit all Nervous(TM).

Doesn't Work.

Specialist tells um to not to bother with calling anyone else on their normal list. Is looking at the green goo like it spat on his mother and called his dog a whore. They would prefer he NOT make that facial expression. That is a facial expression that will get them yelled at by their bosses. Fuck(TM).

Now Politics(TM) are involved. People want to STUDY the green goo. Harness it for dubious and unknown green goo experiments. Poke it with their Quirk to see what'll happen. There's fuckin REPORTER with no concept of self-preservation, trying to get CLOSER to the RADIOACTIVE POISON GOO.

Fuckin Heros have shown up.

Why are you bastards even HERE. What? Are you peacocks gonna PUNCH it? Get off their rig! Stop posing in front of the GOO!

Then? Oh thank GOD. The SMART people show up. Certified, highest grade, triple refined, PREMIUM Nerds(TM). The WAY above our pay grade folks. We're SAVED! Can we PLEASE go home now? We are just ocean cleaners! Our job is debris! Not weird GOO!

Enter, stage Super Cool Helicopters? The Elite Nerds of Earth. Of which Nedzu is one. Since Japan is closest. And it's a school weekend! He had some time.

And?

Ha ha... Thanks, he hates it! Nedzu's stoat brain is SCREAMING and he wants NOTHING to do with...? What he is somehow CERTAIN is a floating pit of Death! Interesting effect. Anyone getting that or just him?

Then? Some hot head on loan to Korea from the states? Spots something. SomeONE. And does he TELL the newly arrived professionals? So they may do a risk assessment? Figure out a way to rescue this individual SAFELY? Of course not!

Said hot head has supposedly indescribable chains! So he just flings them rights on in! Grabbing the boy from the center of the portal, pulling him free, and in the process? Immediately destabilizing it. Causing it to collapse down towards everyone bellow.

He also then proceeds to DROP the young lad, in his alarm at this entirely predictable outcome.

Right. Into. The Ocean.

A boy, who is dressed in filthy medical scrubs, haunting familiar in a way nothing should EVER be again, and entirely unconscious. Plunge down into the briny deeps and bitter cold. Alone. Abandoned. Death, thick and viscous, losing form and raining down like bile.

Everyone saving themselves.

Ah, he rather liked this suit.

The salt water ruins it. The droplets of Green, burn like molten glass each time they touch him. He will likely have at least a few new scars, after today. Assuming this is not the end of him. But he swims fast. The boy sinking slower then his size would suggest he should. He grabs hold and arcs, dragging them both from beneath the fallout of yet another humans hubris.

He does not stop swimming. Not until he knows he is near the helicopter. He is thankful, that he dragged Aizawa along. The man takes one look at his serious expression, the state of his rescued young friend, and merely hauls them both out of the water and into the machine.

Time to go.

They saw nothing, it seems. And there is nothing to be found.

The boy does not wake. Not for quite a while. Long enough, that Nedzu, perhaps unwisely, has grown attached. Is considering adoption. If only too terrorize a few goverment bodies. And... well... the boy will need some who UNDERSTANDS. And the scars paint a very specific sort of tale. But first, the most important question, when beginning these things...

"Tea? Or would you prefer coffee?"

@the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter @hdgnj

[raiti-finance]

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[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Let's Get Medical, Medical 🎶

Dear Future Husband,

I normally don't talk about these things with anyone, but I think I'm at a point where I need to just lay it all out there.

My body is a mess.

And nobody knows why.

Just a heads up, I will be talking about female reproductive health here. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

I started writing this a month ago, but life and times got in the way, so here's where I started, and I'll update where needed:

Let's shuffle back in time a bit....

My siblings and I were all born with a lot of hair, but apparently mine was impressive for some reason. My mom had a friend who would say something like "the girl is 2 but her hair is 16!"

Which is to say that it was super noticeable when I started to lose my hair as a teenager. Mostly because by the time I was 16, my hair was as thin as a 2yo's.

Did that lady make an ayin hara? Or is it just life being life? Who even knows.

Between food allergies, migraines, obesity, emotional neglect, meal skipping, chronic stress, anxiety, and depression... it's kind of shocking I even made it to teenagehood.

Yet, there I was - 16 years old, having never had a period, obese, and losing my hair. Also I had noticeable strands of gray hair.

I was tested for anemia and that came back negative. So MotherLivelyHeart dragged me around to a few specialists who did exams and blood work, and one even tested a birth control pill on me to see if they could diagnose or rule out PCOS.

Everything came back inconclusive.

And because I was surrounded by a lot of shrugging adults and nobody pushed for real answers, everything was just kind of dropped.

When I was in seminary, away from my family for a year+, eating 3 meals a day with my peers, and walking everywhere, I actually ended up starting and maintaining a fairly regular cycle. And I lost some major weight, which I'm sure helped.

But I was manipulated into coming back and starting college immediately. Manipulated into thousands of dollars worth of student loan debt. And I was living at home again with my dysfunctional family. Fun.

My cycle stopped again in under 2 years. And over those first like 6-7 years I gained all that weight back, despite eating a balanced diet high in vegetables, whole grains, and protein. The meal-skipping probably didn't help.

It's been about 10 years since then and if I actually kept track, I could probably count the number of periods I've had on two hands.

But because I'm a mess of a human, I haven't actually tracked that properly. And at this point, if some kind of spotting I had over the summer wasn't an actual period, it's probably been 2+ years since I've had one.

Because of the lack of proper menses, the hair loss, the obesity that's hard to lose, and some significant facial hair (particularly on the chin that end up as in-grown hairs that lead to acne), the presumed diagnosis has always been somewhere in the range of PCOS, despite all the results coming back inconclusive.

Now, I'll be honest - not having a period doesn't really bother me. It probably should, but it means I don't have to deal with monthly mood swings (I deal with enough mental anguish as it is), and I don't have to spend money on pads or tampons or anything, which makes whatever this condition is pretty budget friendly for someone who's barely making it by paycheck-to-paycheck.

The biggest thing that bothers me is the hair-loss. I hate it. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. I hate how people stare. I hate how everyone questions it. And I hate that I live in a community where only married women cover their hair, so if I cover mine I get comments on the covering.

I literally had a conversation with a woman at work a couple of years ago (stop me if I've told you this before) who asked me what my maiden name was and when I told her lightheartedly "oh, I'm not married, I'm just wearing a hat" she berated me for "being deceptive" and "lying to people."

As though I was doing it davka to offend her and not for my own self-esteem.

Yeah. She can take a long walk off a short peer.

Since I've gotten with this new doctor this year, we discussed ruling out or getting a formal diagnosis for PCOS. So I've had multiple blood tests.

And wouldn't you know...

All inconclusive.

Again.

In fact, as the doctor put it to me when I saw her in person, "it's almost abnormal how normal your bloodwork is."

Well, isn't that a relief.

It's concerning how unconcerning my results are.

Fascinating.

Aside from elevated liver enzymes (fatty liver - a family trait), low vitamin d (I'm now on a supplement), and high cholesterol (I think that's a relatively new thing because of some other things I was doing this year)... every other result came back almost smack dab in the normal range.

One of the other things she had me do for the PCOS diagnosis was get a trans-vaginal ultrasound.

I wanted to die.

I don't even like to see my own naked body, let alone let anyone else see it. Let alone insert anything into it.

The last time I'd seen anyone for anything below the belt like that was around 2007, I think. And that doctor did a gynecological exam in a brightly lit room, with my legs spread wide open.

As a minor.

I wanted to die.

So I thought this was going to be the same type of situation. But shock of all shocks, it was almost like going to a spa. The room was dimly lit with warm lighting and beautiful paintings on the walls.

The sonogram tech walked me through how the whole procedure works, she had me use the bathroom to fully empty my bladder, and then back in the room she handed me a sheet to cover myself and situate myself on the table, and then...

She instructed me to insert the f***** thing into myself.

I wanted to die.

"You need to do it because you can tell what's most comfortable for you," she says to the mid-30s woman who has never had sex a day in her life.... "I'm going to put some lubricant on it and hand it to you under the sheet, insert it into yourself and when you're comfortable, I'll take over."

She was very nice, very respectful, and the whole thing was over relatively quickly without her seeing any of my nether regions.

But I still wanted to drive into a brick wall when I left.

Especially because, although the appointment didn't take that long, the hospital had recently moved the department to another "zone" of their campus and google led me to the old entrance, so I parked in the wrong parking garage and had to trek 10-15 minutes through the hospital each way to/from my car and ended up overshooting the free 1 hour parking by like 6 minutes, and I forgot to ask for validation, so I had to pay for parking.

But I digress...

The results of that ultrasound came back and there was no evidence of PCOS on my ovaries. In fact, quite the opposite. Not only were there no cysts, but the ovaries for people with PCOS are apparently usually larger and mine are on the smaller side. Also there were no visible follicles.

Lack of visible follicles can usually be attributed to a hormone imbalance, but... my hormones are all in the normal ranges.

So yet again, everything is inconclusive.

And none of it makes any sense.

The last thing of note from that exam was that my endometrium is a bit on the thicker side and has an irregular texture.

This means that I now have a gyno appointment in a month for further exam and a pap smear.

I want to die.

I don't think I can fully express to you how visceral my body reacts to even thinking about these appointments. I literally want to throw myself out a window.

But whatever. It was one moment in my life and I can forget it ever happened, right? These people are professionals. They do this all the time for countless individuals. I'm one of a billion and they'll never remember me.

"But what if they do......?"

Yeah, I can't shut my brain off.

In addition to all of that, I attempted to get a celiac diagnosis because I've been off of gluten for almost a decade now because even a 1/4tsp of pasta water sent my stomach into convulsions.

And yet.... in order to do the celiac testing I've had to eat gluten every single day for about two months and not only did the antibody results come back negative, but I've been able to eat gluten every day for two months without pain.

I also did the genetic blood test and that came back with only one of two markers for celiac, so yet again negative/inconclusive results.

Nobody knows why for almost a decade I had to avoid gluten.

Nobody knows why all of a sudden I can eat it again with no problems.

NOTHING MAKES SENSE.

It's like when you take the car to the mechanic and describe the insane noise it's been making for the last week and the mechanic turns it on and it won't make the noise.

I can describe in great detail all the issues I have but from a scientific standpoint, all my blood markers say I'm relatively normal and healthy.

Other things have been upsetting my digestive system, so the doctor also wants me to see a gastrointestinal doctor.

Which means more probes. And probably a colonoscopy. Fantastic.

And I have to get glasses.

And I have to get the fillings that were just refilled for the first time since like 2009 rechecked because I'm having sensitivity in one of those teeth.

And figure out what the hell is wrong with my feet.

And maybe see an audiologist or neurologist to figure out why I have tinnitus in my 30s.

And then probably see a dermatologist to determine what the hell is causing the hair loss because after all of this, if it's not a hormone imbalance and isn't associated with PCOS, "it's probably alopecia" which doesn't explain why it came along with delayed puberty, underdevelopment, and is more like male pattern baldness....

Because FML, right?

Because everything is wrong and nobody knows why.

On paper, I'm a healthy individual.

In reality, I haven't had a proper menstrual cycle in like 15 years, I'm wildly overweight, and have almost no hair on my head.

The wild thing about this state of "infertility" is that it would be nice to have a diagnosis. It would be nice to have an explanation. It would be nice to know why this is happening and have a clear path as to how to fix it.

But I don't have that.

I have vagueties. (Is that a word?)

And the vagueties are what allow room for miracles. Because Hashem works in the gray areas.

Ok, here's the life and times update:

So, since I started writing this a month ago, the appointment with the gyno was actually yesterday.

And I'm an idiot.

I scheduled my whole life to be there at 3pm, assuming that the 2:45pm I had put on my calendar was me factoring in an additional 15 minutes for traffic and paperwork or whatever, but it turns out that's when the appointment started. And after dealing with stupid traffic and everything, I walked in at 2:57pm.

Because I'm an idiot.

The gynecologist is super nice and super pretty, which sucks. Why does a pretty person have to look at my ugly body?

We did the initial "tell me about your life" stuff (kind of rushing through which I didn't realize was my own damn fault) during which she mentioned that she would probably diagnose me with PCOS but she wants new tests just to double check everything.

Apparently there's something called the Rotterdam Criteria for PCOS, which she recommended I look up. Turns out it's essentially the same criteria I had discussed with my primary doctor, but without the fancy terminology, yet my primary came to the conclusion it wasn't PCOS.

So... huh?

The criteria are:

Irregular menses Menstrual cycles that are shorter than 21 days, longer than 35 days, or fewer than eight cycles in a year 

Hyperandrogenism Elevated levels of testosterone, DHEA-S, or clinical signs like acne, hirsutism, or alopecia 

Polycystic ovaries At least 12 ovarian follicles measuring 2–9 mm in diameter in one ovary, or an ovarian volume of more than 10 mL in one ovary 

And for diagnosis, 2 of the three are required.

My primary doctor's conclusion was based on no polycysts on the ovaries and my hormones coming back normal.

My gynecologist, however, said that since I have things like the hair issues, that's a clear indication of hormone imbalance, even if when tested the hormones are coming back normal.

I literally don't understand the science of medicine.

Either way, that's what we're looking at diagnosing now.

Again.

Then she sent me off to an exam room, instructing me to "get fully undressed, put on the gown and tie it in front, and sit up on the table with the sheet across your lap."

Fun.

And I guess it makes sense that the exam room has to be sterile and brightly lit.

But I still wanted to die.

Like, you talk about vulnerable positions to be in, but damn. Being an ugly human, mostly naked in a brightly lit room, legs open wide with a beautiful lady poking around your nether regions... this is immediately something I want to erase from my brain as something I've done in my life.

"I know this is uncomfortable, but just remember I do this every day, so it's not as uncomfortable for me."

*super awkward laugh of "ok, that literally doesn't make me feel better but thanks"*

She did the pap smear and a breast exam (which I didn't even know gynecologists do, but I guess you learn something new every day, eh?) and I should note that she asked me if I wanted each of those things, so I did consent to them, despite neither being strictly necessary.

For those who don't know, a pap smear is a test they do to check for cervical cancer. Which is primarily associated with the HPV virus, which is generally spread by sexual contact in that region.

Reminder: I have never had sexual contact in that region.

Here's the fun explanation I found online of what they do: A speculum is inserted into the vagina to widen it. Then, a brush is inserted into the vagina to collect cells from the cervix. The cells are checked under a microscope for signs of disease.

She said she didn't see me as being a high candidate for the virus or for that type of cancer, and that as I'm an adult woman I have the right to say no, but she would recommend it just to be able to check the overall health of the region and rule things out.

According to the internet, a pap smear may be uncomfortable, but it should not hurt. For some reason, for me, it stung. I have literally no idea why. As I'm writing this, it's been over 12 hours and I'm still having mild discomfort in that region. So, that's fun.

Maybe it's cuz I've never had sex before and don't make a habit of sticking things down there that stretch the space open? I have no clue. She didn't seem all that concerned, despite me clearly stating it was stinging. So maybe it's just nothing.

She didn't spend a lot of time down there, so I'm not sure how much of an exam she actually did aside from the pap smear part, but after informing me that my breast tissue feels normal, which is a good sign, she sent me off down the hall for some blood work, then I scheduled a follow up for two weeks from now to discuss results, and that was really the end of the visit.

At this point, I have no idea what the future holds.

When we were doing the patient history portion of our conversation she clarified with me that I wasn't and hadn't been pregnant and then she asked if I would like to be.

And I honestly didn't know how to answer that.

Because I honestly don't know.

I joked that I don't mind so much not having to deal with periods like my friends and family members, especially because my family members get crazy when hormones factor in, which obviously happens around that time of the month.

But that's not a real answer.

On the one hand, I would love to know what it feels like to carry a child inside me. To have a child literally built out of love. To hold that baby in my arms and know that I worked so hard to bring that being into life. To see which of my features this tiny human has.

On the other hand, I don't want to repopulate my genetics. I don't know how my body will respond to the stress of a developing human. I don't know if I have the emotional or physical strength to be a mother. And I don't know if I want to raise children is this screwed up world that seems to be getting worse every single day.

And I don't know if you, my dear future husband, actually exist or if this is all just a hypothetical anyway.

Every day of my life right now is one step closer to 40 years old.

And in the great scheme of things, especially in this age where people are living older and we still bless "to 120," 40 years is literally just the first third of life. That's not even middle aged. Yet at the same time, being a first-time parent at 40 is tough. Especially when you consider that the body starts breaking down at that point and my body is already a mess. I've felt like I'm 80 years old since I was like 8 years old. I guess if that age were accurate I'd be closer to 120 already....

And I'm still dealing with financial problems.

And family problems.

And emotional problems.

And the world just flat out suuuuuucks right now.

And I still don't see an escape from any of this.

So... do I want to get pregnant?

I guess in an ideal world, yeah.

In a realistic world, I would say "that's up to Hashem" except that it seems that "up to Hashem" is my body not functioning in a way conducive to having children, so I guess that's my answer.

They say that every single problem you could possibly have in life can be found in the Torah. And barrenness is something that afflicted 3/4 of our imahos as well as Chana, all of whom eventually bore their own children.

But I'm not a Sarah, I'm not a Rivka, I'm not a Rachel, and I'm not a Chana. And I don't see how knowing that they were able to have natural children when I still know some amazing women who haven't is supposed to make me feel better about my circumstances.

Women are supposedly on a higher spiritual plane than men. We're supposed to be more in tune with our neshamos, with our connection to Hashem, which is what allows us to be the bearers of new life.

What does that say about me? My connection to Hashem sucks and this doesn't really make it better.

I know everyone has a different role in life, and some aren't meant to marry or have children because they wouldn't be able to accomplish what they're sent here to accomplish with those commitments in their lives.

But some people seem to be able to accomplish great things while juggling staying healthy and having a family and working high powered jobs, etc.

And I suck at literally the bare minimum. Literally just existing sucks for me.

And knowing that "my role" isn't "their role" and "that's ok" doesn't make me feel better about any of it.

But it's almost 6am and I'm awake for no reason and heading off on tangents of mental health sadness while the whole point of this was just the physical stuff.

Oh! And speaking of physical stuff, I literally forgot to mention that when I went to get the blood work done, I got a medical text telling me to schedule an appointment. It said "advanced radiology" and stupid me just closed the text, thinking it was for the blood work which was what I was already doing.

But no.

Apparently the gyno put me down for ANOTHER transvaginal ultrasound.

And by the time I realized that, the doctor's office was already closed so I couldn't ask her about that, because we went over the fact I'd had that done recently and didn't recall her mentioning I'd need another one.

So FML.

#1 thing on today's to-do list.

Fun.

So anyways, that's where we're at now. I either might have PCOS or definitely not have PCOS. Regardless, I will probably have to be poked and prodded yet again in regions of my body I'd rather forget exist. All to get a diagnosis for something that may or may not be meaningful, depending on whether I can figure out if having children is something I ever even want to do in this life.

And I don't know. I just don't know.

I'd say I'd leave that up to Hashem, but He's the reason I'm fat, ugly, balding, unmarried, and childless now, so.... that's helpful.

-LivelyHeart

Edited to add: I contacted the gyno and it turns out the second sonogram was ordered by mistake. Good thing I contacted her and didn't just schedule the exam!