#Hey it's me and my stupid jokes again 😏

[space-diablo]

They are all mentally ill. Always have been. (Do not forget it's just a joke... In a half...)

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[yokohamapound]

How about some angsty HCs?? 😏

How would Kunikida, Dazai, Fukuzawa, Chuuya and Fyodor (or anyone else you’d like too) react to their s/o taking a hit for them that would have otherwise been fatal if they didn’t?? S/o ends up being okay but the gentlemen are all angsty in the meantime >:)

Thanks so much lovely! 🥰💕

Hello, my lovely! It's been a while since I wrote some good old angst, so this scratched an itch. I hope these are what you are looking for!

Characters: Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Fukuzawa Yukichi, Kunikida Doppo

Contents: death mentions, suicide mentions, controlling behaviour, anger issues

Nakahara Chuuya

Ooh, it’s kinda difficult for him to deal with? He’s in two minds about it, really. 

On one hand, he’s strong enough that whatever blow was being dealt to him really wouldn’t have hurt him that much, or so he tells himself. All he can think about is that moment where the bullet/bomb/fireball, whatever it is, was coming toward you. Yes, you survived it, but he had to live through the nanoseconds of absolute hell when he thought he was just about to see another person he cares about die right before his eyes. 

His temper erupts afterward. He’s furious, yelling at you that you “didn’t fuckin’ need to do that!” You’d be forgiven for thinking that it’s his pride you’ve hurt, but it’s anger born of worry. Those few moments he thought you were going to die were harrowing for him. 

Imagine if he carelessly lost the person he loves the most, just because he was too slow or too stupid to see it coming? Shit, he could never live with himself if that happened. 

However, there’s the other side of the coin. Which is that you cared about him enough to intercept a blow aimed at him. Chuuya can’t remember the last time someone did that for him. He’s used to being the tank, to soaking up all the violence so the geniuses can get on with their schemes. He doesn’t really know how to handle someone trying to protect him, like he’s something vulnerable.

He likes it and he doesn’t. He’s grateful and he’s pissed. Chuuya’s a complicated creature. 

Once he’s done yelling and has calmed down a little, he’ll mutter something that sounds like a ‘thank you’, though he says it with his eyes mulishly averted and one arm wrapped tightly around your waist. He won’t be letting you out of his sight for a while, even while he’s being a grouch.

Dazai Osamu

While he might not show it on the surface, this has a rather profound effect on Dazai. Remember the last time someone he loved died in front of him?

While he pretends to be calm on the surface, inside he’s in turmoil. He should have seen it coming; you’re the self-sacrificing sort, always trying to save him in one or another. But before now, it hasn’t been literal. 

I feel like time moves very slowly for someone as fast as Dazai. He was able to process far too much information in those few seconds you were in danger. All of his mistakes, laid out for him as plain as day. 

He tends to convince himself that he can plan around every kind of incident but this is a start reminded that this isn’t always the case.

“Hey, bella?” His tone is unusually serious. His hand on your shoulder. “I’m going to need you not to do that again. Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you die in front of me.”

If you pay close attention, you’ll notice Dazai doesn’t make any more double suicide jokes after that. They don’t have the same appeal. Dazai doesn’t think he could stand to watch you die, even if you did want to join him. 

He keeps a close watch on you after that, turning up unexpectedly throughout your day without any explanation, his lanky form popping up like a weed.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

While he will never, ever reveal it, this will shake Fyodor’s iron-clad ego a little bit. He likes to think he is in control of everything, and he can predict every single action of yours down to the blink. For whatever reason, he didn’t foresee you getting in his way and taking a hit meant for him. 

You gain an element of unpredictability, which is both intriguing and alarming for him. 

There is also the fact that you stepped in to take a hit for him. While he’s used to having underlings who look up to him like a god (Ivan), he doesn’t count you amongst the peons. He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, but in a way that promotes adoration and obedience, not self-sacrificing recklessness. He’ll have to step back and examine your relationship somewhat.

“My darling, what was the meaning of that?” he asks of you, his tone soft and a little dangerous. “I do not need you flinging yourself in the path of danger for me. I have everything in hand.”

He likes your devotion, but he doesn’t want you getting in the way of his plans. And he does care about you, love you in his own way—he doesn’t want to lose something he sees as his. 

If you were injured at all, he will have the best private doctors on hand to treat you. Be prepared for his love and attention to be a little stifling for a while. He won’t want to let you out of his sight. 

As for the person whose attack you foiled? Fyodor will turn the full weight of his enormous intellect to destroying them. They were dead the moment their attack came near something he cares about.

Fukuzawa Yukichi

Fukuzawa is very much the self-sacrificing sort. He’s said more than once that he doesn’t mind giving up his life in order to ensure peace in Yokohama, or to protect the lives of the younger members of the agency. He’s heavily bound by duty.

While he holds these values to himself, he doesn’t expect you to abide by the same code. In fact, he doesn’t want you to. You’re not a grizzled old samurai like him. (His words, not yours.)

He also heavily dislikes the idea that you were in danger because of him. Your relationship with him shouldn’t be a source of danger for you. As soon as he’s sure you’re safe and well, he will sit back and mull things over in his silent, intense way. He considers all options, from simply killing the person who tried to attack him, to ending your relationship with him to ensure your safety.

Thankfully, he comes to the conclusion that you are an adult who knows what is good for you. He’s never hidden the truth from you, and if you’re willing to face that to stand at his side, then Fukuzawa needs to respect that. He can’t make your decisions for you. 

“However,” he says. “I must ask that you do not do that again. I can accept my own death, but not yours.”

“Don’t you trust me to watch your back?”

“Obviously, you can be trusted,” he says. “Today is evidence enough, but know that I could not live with myself if you were injured or killed looking out for me. If death is coming for me, I have earned it.”

He can’t really be talked out of this mindset, but that’s part of why you fell for him in the first place. Just make him a promise that you won’t put yourself at risk on his behalf. 

Kunikida Doppo

Poor Kunikida.

One of his ideals is that he will never watch anyone die right in front of him if he can help it. The last time he had to watch an innocent person die, it almost shattered his psyche. 

If you were to die in front of him, it would break him utterly. Even though you’re fine, the close shave rattles him down to his core. Instead of blowing his top and then settling down, the way you’re used to him doing, Kunikida becomes grim and quiet. 

He refuses to step away from your bedside while you’re in the hospital for a check-up after the incident. His notebook of ideals is folded in his pocket, ignored. The fact he isn’t scribbling anything down is a little alarming. He’s not Kunikida if he’s not adding little notes to it every five minutes. He has his hands steepled together, his face grim behind his glasses.

“Are you going to yell at me?” you ask him. 

Kunikida lifts his gaze to you, almost as if he’s surprised to hear you speak. He breaks out of his reverie a little bit, sitting up and pushing his glasses further up his nose. The light hits the lenses, hiding his expression from you a little. His voice is sombre.

“I must thank you for saving my life,” he tells you, almost formal. 

“That’s not the only thing bothering you, is it?” You know him well enough by now. You reach out and take one of his hands.

Kunikida fingers tighten around yours, trembling slightly. It’s the only way that you can see how completely off centre he is. 

“Kunikida?”

“Don’t…don’t make me worry like that again. Please.”

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, "homophobia", mentions of death

Desc:

Smiley: dude

Smiley: i mean, babe

Smiley: nah, i'm gonna stick with dude

Smiley: it's gonna take a while for me to be romantic cause lwky this is weird but we like each other so that's cool but also

Smiley: i never thought i'd date a dude

Mitsuya: you're making it weird

Smiley: but like, i'm less gay than other gay people

Mitsuya: not really

Smiley: no, no, it makes sense

Smiley: you're pretty, and girls are pretty

Smiley: so

Mitsuya: i have a penis

Mitsuya: and i'm a very obvious male

Mitsuya: but if this is how you cope, then sure

Mitsuya: besides. this isn't like, a serious relationship. we're goofing around

Smiley: yeah exactly

Smiley: don't fall in love with me or anything ����

Mitsuya: you make it very hard to do so, so don't worry about that 🙂

Smiley: ouch, but fair

Smiley: do you wanna, yk

Smiley: wink wink

Smiley: 👉👌 👀

Mitsuya: ...what does that mean?

Smiley: ...are you pretending you don't know

Mitsuya: ?

Mitsuya: oh

Mitsuya: sex?

Mitsuya: dude, just say that

Mitsuya: you also forget that i'm less experienced than you

Smiley: you've been gay for longer though

Mitsuya: i've never dated anyone, Nahoya😐

Smiley: oh shit

Smiley: first name basis

Smiley: we're moving really fast

Smiley: i have commitment issues

Mitsuya: this is kind of funny. why are you tweaking

Smiley: being gay is weird

Mitsuya: you're bi

Smiley: doesn't change anything. liking men is gay🤢

Smiley: ...

Smiley: send nudes

Mitsuya: lol

Mitsuya: no

Smiley: c'mon 😏

Mitsuya: please don't use that emoji

Smiley: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Mitsuya: dude

Smiley: ok fine

Smiley: come to my place tonight

Smiley: Angry's hanging out with Hakkai and the annoying ass duo

Smiley: they're both annoying duo's, actually

Mitsuya: there are a lot of annoying duo's here. but i assume you're talking about Mitchy and Chifuyu

Smiley: yeah yeah

Smiley: you coming?

Mitsuya: i'm a switch, by the way

Smiley: fuck that

Smiley: nothings going in my hole

Mitsuya: consider it

Smiley: no😐

Mitsuya: how is that fair

Smiley: i'm the man, of the relationship

Mitsuya: we're both men

Smiley: would you stop saying that

Smiley: ...am i being homophobic?

Mitsuya: yeah. i'm not surprised though

Mitsuya: i'll let you off for now. but i'm a switch, so i'll switch eventually 🥱

Mikey: so

Mikey: i'm not sure how you two haven't noticed that this is the groupchat

Mikey: but this is a heads up, cause things are getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

Baji: you fucking idiot

Baji: Mikey i'll kill you

Baji: why didn't you wait till Mitsuya sent the nudes 🤨??

Hakkai: if this isn't a prank i'm going to kill myself 🤣

Chifuyu: LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

Angry: i'm so sad

Angry: why did i have to find out like this

Angry: you said we'd tell each other everything, Smiley 😞

Draken: i thought sworn brothers share secrets but okay

Draken: this is the second time this has happened

Draken: never telling you anything about Emma again

Draken: i'm happy for you, but i'm pissed

Draken: also

Draken: Smiley? of all people

Draken: full offense

Angry: hey🙁

Angry: Smiley's great

Draken: that's a blatant lie

Draken: he's great to *you*

Angry: 😠

Mikey: so you guys are dating huh😋

Mikey: never would've expected the 2 of you, specifically

Mikey: this is so odd

Mikey: i can't even make fun of this. i'm just confused 😭

Baji: Mitsuya should sent the nudes. i need blackmail

Baji: send them

Mitsuya: are you stupid

Baji: we both know the answer to that question

Mikey: can you guys tell me how this came about

Draken: is Hakkai okay

Hakkai: no

Hakkai: just jokes🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hakkai: Taka-chan, i'm very happy for you 😍

Hakkai: i'm not heartbroken at all😭😭😭💔💔💔😭😭👌💔💔😭👌🫶

Hakkai: this is all okay

Mitsuya: are you okay? i'm confused

Draken: Hakkai's in love with you

Mikey: Ken-chin💀??

Mitsuya: yeah sure

Hakkai: DRAKEN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Hakkai: that's simply not true😂

Hakkai: that's so absurd

Chifuyu: you are NOT helping your case

Draken: Mitsuya would be dumb, to NOT know

Baji: where's Smiley 💀

Baji: bullied so many people for being gay

Baji: whole times he's topping a twink

Mikey: could be bottoming

Mikey: Mitsuya's a switch, remember

Smiley: i didn't "bully" anyone 😁🖕

Smiley: i just didn't agree with your homosexual lifestyles

Smiley: and i happened to vocalize that 🙂‍↕️✊️

Smiley: freedom of speech

Draken: didn't you call Takemitchy the f slur

Smiley: no, but i should've

Baji: i call him that all the time

Baji: i can say it legally, though

Smiley: cause you are one

Angry: Smiley😠

Smiley: he is??

Baji: so are you

Smiley: what about it

Hakkai: i'll kill you with my bare hands

Hakkai: who said that, lol😂

Draken: you can't do that. we're texting

Draken: we saw the text

Mikey: please tell me how this happened

Mikey: i need to know in full detail

Smiley: i need to know your mom in full detail

Mikey: first of all, lame👎

Mikey: i guess being gay made you fall off in the humor department

Mikey: second of all

Mikey: my mother is DEAD. the only details she has are her skeleton. now answer my question

Draken: you really need to deal with that, dude

Mikey: no need

Mikey: WAIT

Mikey: is this when we dared you guys to kiss

Mikey: did a switch flip

Mikey: a connection

Mikey: a spark

Draken: man, poor Hakkai

Hakkai: what's your problem with me

Draken: i'm here to talk, man. this is rough

Smiley: you know what, so what if i fuck twinks

Mitsuya: we haven't had sex but okay

Mikey: please break up

Mikey: this is gonna fuck up the group dynamic 😭🙏

Draken: i agree

Angry: guys!

Hakkai: i also agree haha

Hakkai: i'm joking. as long as Taka-chan is happy

Hakkai: 😔🫶

Mitsuya: do we need to talk, Hakkai?

Hakkai: no

Smiley: you snooze you loose, Shiba😁

Hakkai: i see

Hakkai: do you realize i'm in your house

Hakkai: Angry and i are in his room

Smiley: i'm always up for a fight 😈

Mitsuya: no??

Mitsuya: what are you guys on about

Hakkai: Taka-chan, forgive me in advance

Angry: i'll cry 😥😓

Smiley: don't

Smiley: it's a friendly fight 😁

Mikey: is it okay if i come watch

Mikey: is that insensitive of me?

Mikey: idk why i asked, i'm gonna do it anyway 😇🤞

[raguma1002]

Eye for an eye broski

Bobutter headcanons, hand em over 🔫 /silly

i won't repeat the same things that you said in your post with headcanons for them because i generally agree with you! one thing: i want to believe that bojack didn't star in horny unicorn after he got out of prison. the movie industry is a very toxic place for him and i don't think he would ever want to return to the set again

instead he rather devoted himself to the theater? it seems that his soul lies precisely to it. he started with productions in prisons and then got a job in the theater. begins putting on plays there, and mr peanutbutter definitely attends each one with great interest and pride!!! him sitting in the audience and be like ''yes yes yes my husband directed this play! he's so talented! ooo ooh he's over there!! HEY BOJACK!" (the whole theater hears him)

when pb has time, he attends bojack's rehearsals as well! he praises and encourages EVERY actor, even the shittiest ones, which is why everyone there adores him. of course boj is genuinely pleased when he does this, even though it seems like he isn't ("why did you come? you'd better have stayed at home. why waste time on this shit?") he's just a little shy.

mr peanutbutter continued his career. he keeps acting in movies and tv series of various kinds; but over the years he definitely does it less, spending more time on hobbies and bojack

speaking of relations with the rest of the cast: they don't communicate with diane at all - neither pb nor bojack. however, maybe pb and diane sometimes like each other's posts on social networks, making sure that everything is okay and no one is dead

they keep in friendly contact with princess carolyn and definitely visit each other at least once a month! i mean, they don't communicate much, especially boj and pc, but they keep warm relationship. sometimes she even lets them babysit ruthie (they try very hard to do everything right) (ruthie loves them) (that thing describes their relationship perfectly for me)

todd probably remained the closest of the whole cast to them, at least because he and pb are still best friends. i really want to believe that they hold meetings of pb livin' from time to time, and mr peanutbutter considers bojack an unofficial member, simply because he accidentally walked into the study during one of them.

they come up with new crazy moronic projects and give them to bojack for consideration. he grumbles, indignant at how stupid it is, but still contributes something of his own, which he thinks will make their plan more logical. it turns out even worse, and almost every time they are on the verge of bankruptcy honestly. but at least it's fun!

although they probably would eventually stop investing ALL their money in those brilliant business projects because, well... spending your old age as homeless is not a very appealing prospect (bojack insisted on that)

i also have a post about their relationship with hollyhock

and the headcanon about reading together is here as well

i think they have quite a similar sense of humor. at least it was shown that they both love long setups for punchlines! of course, bojack likes more dark jokes while pb prefers light-hearted ones, but it still seems to me that they would definitely find common ground here.

they have a bunch of inside jokes and tbh they also definitely have a few people that they like to gossip about together (they do it on that art of mine btw 😏)

pb removed the thunder room (converted it into smth else, maybe storage). he also stopped drinking alcohol, at least while bojack's around so he won't be tempted to relapse again

probably thanks to (almost) 4 unsuccessful marriages and work on himself, pb would take the whole wedlock thing more seriously and not even try to talk about it with bojack because well it's bojack. but! after so many years of loneliness and a few ones of really successful healthy relationship and therapy bojack may want to get married? of course it would be difficult for him because of his distorted understanding of the union of two people as such, but, in the end, he has time. so if he does want it, ig he will be the one to propose. screwing up 19641969 times in the process of course. it'd be cute :з

i decided not to mention that they like to hug and walk in the park together and so on like the real snotty romantics, because it's obvious. i'm sorry for the possibly long answer, i've just been sitting all day in the socrates pose thinking about what i should write. thanks for reading!

[ceruleanmusings]

Big Time Returns - Mickames

continuing my posting of rewrites with season 3's big time returns! within my fanfic universe canon this is an important season for mickames because...james' feelings might not be so unrequited after all. 😏 enjoy! @partiallypearl @witchofinterest @raging-violets

-----

“Let me see if I can understand this.” As Katie spoke, she slowly slid her palms against the edge of the counter until she braced her weight up in a triangle-like fashion. Across the room she eyed James’ languid form, draped across the couch cushions, one cheek squished upwards, long arms brushing against the floor. “You met Mickey and immediately liked her. She didn’t really like you. You met Lucy and set your sights on her. She doesn't like you either. Mickey became part of your band. She still didn’t really like you but you try to be her friend. And then you went on tour and spent more time with Mickey and liked her again. But then she left tour halfway through and you started thinking about Lucy and called dibs. And now that you came back, you think Kendall keeps breaking a rule of dibs. But right before you came back, Mickey sent you a text saying she wanted to talk to you. And you’ve been trying to talk to her all day, but you’ve also been following Kendall around to make sure he doesn’t break the rule of dibs. Right?”

“Right,” James agreed. He lifted his arm at the word, jabbing his finger in the air in her direction and let it fall back against the floor. Squeezing out a large sigh, he added, “Girl chaos. It’s not a fun thing.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “This isn’t girl chaos, dummy! This is you being stupid!”

Ouch! Katie wasn’t one to mince words but that was going a little overboard. “Hey!” James pushed himself upwards, swinging around until he sat on the edge of the couch. “I know when I’m being stupid! This isn’t the same thing!”

“Yes it is.”

James made a face. Logan was right, she knew nothing about teen love or love science or anything. Clearly, she didn’t or else she wouldn’t think he was so stupid or think any of this was his fault. (Well, stupid about this issue anyway.) He had a big problem, and this was how she decided to help? He made a mental note to go to someone else next time. Like Buddha Bob. He seemed to be doing a great job with Camille and her Logan problem. “Whatever. You don’t know anything about guys.”

Katie scoffed. “Sure. But even if I don’t, I know about girls. And I know about guys being stupid around girls and you’re being stupid around them.”

She didn’t make a joke, but James laughed as if her statement was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. Because it was. He wasn’t being stupid around girls. He never was. He knew everything he needed to know about girls. He could talk to any of them without a problem, win them over with a perfectly placed smile or wink, and get a date without trying.

…And it wasn’t that he was actually trying to win Lucy over or anything like that, it was the principal of the matter. He called dibs; Kendall needed to respect that. That’s why they had the rules in the first place. To stop all this chaos from happening. But Kendall being Kendall couldn’t leave her alone and had to keep talking to Lucy. And because Kendall kept talking to Lucy, James couldn’t talk to Mickey. He had to make sure Kendall followed the rules. But he also had to know what her text meant!

He’d been pouring over it day and night ever since she sent it. “Hey! Hope tour’s going well! Not much longer to the end. I want to talk when you get back.” Usually, her texts had some sort of emoji attached to it. Not this one. Not this time. Just straight and to the point: “I want to talk when you get back.” But talk about what? About her? About him? About them? Were they a them? Could they be a them? They’d gotten pretty close on tour and then, one day, she up and left. Granted, he couldn’t hold it against her due to it being a family emergency but…he was so close to something.

They’d spent nearly every day of tour up to that point hanging out, goofing off during soundcheck, tossing a frisbee around in the back lot before dinner, playing hide ‘n’ seek around the venue with the rest of the guys and the girls, and coming down for their post-show high laughing themselves stupid in the back lounge of the bus at old Jim Carrey movies. He had fun with her; liked trying to find different ways and things that would put that beaming smile on her face. It all came to a crashing halt and now…now…well, he didn’t know what happens now. And that was the problem.

Girls were an equation he always had an answer for; 2+2 equaled 4. But when it came to Mickey he may as well be trying to understand calculus. (Maybe that was a bad example because Logan seemed to understand calculus just fine.) For once, he didn’t have an answer.

Huh. Maybe Katie was right.

James eased off the frown which had been carved into his face the longer he sank into his thoughts. Katie stared at him, arms crossed, a single eyebrow raised. “Want to know what I think?” she offered when he didn’t say anything.

���…That you secretly like all this chaos because it gets them out of the way because you still have a crush on me?” James didn’t actually believe the idea but it was a good buffer to slow her down. And it frustrated her in a way that made a swell of satisfaction surge through him. What was the point of having an honorary little sister if he couldn’t mess with her? The flash of rage in her eyes followed by the disgusted curl of her lip gave him enough time to brace his feet on the floor and clasp his hands together and take a breath. He needed to be prepared, be solid for when she hit him with something he was sure to pack a wallop. Katie didn’t operate any other way. She may look delicate, but she was a wildfire underneath the guise of innocence.

“No”—James flinched against the razor-sharp barb of a word—"I think you’re scared.”

“Of what?” James asked; he managed a laugh, knocking the notion away before it stuck.

“Of Mickey.”

He scoffed. “I’m not scared of her!” Him? Scared of a girl who barely reached his chest, who took a week to talk to him after they first met, who watched the world around them like a hawk, who gushed over baby pandas, who seemed to be able to look right through him despite the gloss and shine he used to distract everyone? Yeah, right. Yeah…right…

“Then why haven’t you gone to talk to her yet?”

James waved his hands in the air, gesticulating wildly to the scroll hanging behind her. “The rule of dibs!” he nearly shouted.

“Which is giving you a handy distraction because as long as you’re focusing on this”—she jerked her thumb to her left—"you don’t have to go and talk to her. It’s like Schrodinger’s Cat.”

“Who’s Schroder and why does he have a cat? I thought he played piano.”

The audible slap of Katie’s palm meeting her face could have been heard all the way in Florida. “There is no cat!”

“But you just said—”

“It means while you’re not doing anything about your talk with Mickey, the outcome can’t be any worse or any better than it is now. But the thing is, you’re sitting in the in-between not knowing either way because you aren’t taking a chance. So you go for the safest option, you go for Lucy. And you don’t even like Lucy, do you?”

He chewed on his bottom lip, but not too hard; he couldn’t risk ruining any good photo opportunities in the future. And he spent a lot of time finding the right Chapstick to get them equally supple and hydrated at all times.

He did like Lucy in the beginning, kind of, but that had faded fast. She was something new to hold his attention. She fought back, laid her terms plain, made no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And maybe the chase was what got him to stick around. But he’d spent his whole life chasing after something: the dream job, the fame, the attention, the acceptance, the love. And while he reached some of those goals, at some point he got tired. And maybe with Lucy she made it easier; he knew how things would end with her. With a no. It was always a no. 2+2 equaled 4. He knew the outcome and didn't have to expect anything else.

“I’ve known you a long time, James,” Katie continued, “and I’ve never seen you like this. Which can only mean one thing: you really like her. So. My advice? Meet her halfway.”

James blinked. “Huh?”

Katie jerked her chin towards the window behind him. “She’s down at the pool. She’s been hanging around the Palm Woods all day waiting for you. Open the box, James.”

“…Are we still talking about Mickey?”

Heaving a hefty sigh, she pointed towards the door. “Just go!”

-----

James brushed his palms against his dark denim and tugged on the lapels of his striped button down. Not that he was nervous. Of course he wasn’t nervous. He was just going to talk to Mickey…after two months being away from her. How much could change in two months? Besides his new haircut. James whipped out his handy pocket mirror, turning his head from side to side to make sure it fell into place at the right swoopy angle. Which it did, thankfully. His hair was his armor, any stray follicle off center and he may as well expose himself like…like that dude in the story with the heel. Agamemnon? Or was it Nike? Nike had the shoes. Yeah, that had to be it.

Clearing his throat, he wiped his hands on his pants again, rolled his neck, stretched out his arms, and moved his legs forward in a casual stroll. Past the threshold of the lobby, the warm LA heat wrapped around him, energizing him like a battery. His stride lengthened and his muscles eased and he looked up and saw her and—shit. He quickly caught himself, after scuffing one foot against the other, and regained his composure in the blink of an eye. If anyone saw that, no they didn’t.

He quickly darted a look in Mickey’s direction; if she’d seen his little trip she didn’t react, keeping her head down and towards the magazine resting over her legs, crossed at the ankles. Her boots and socks lay propped next to her chair. The blue woven anklet encircling her right foot sat darkened beneath the sun, a bead of water hanging off the frayed end.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, James stopped next to her, shoved his hands into his pockets, thumbs pointing towards the empty loops on his waist, and rolled his shoulders back. “Can I sit?”

Mickey lifted her head, her hair parted by the large black sunglasses on her face. He pressed his lips together, hoping to read something off her but her body remained as loose as before. She motioned to the empty chair next to her. “If you want," she said with a light shrug.

James carefully sat down, keeping his eyes on Mickey. She dog-eared the page she’d been on, keeping her fingers woven between the glossy pages as James opened his mouth only for nothing to come out. He closed his mouth, let out a little laugh and tried again. Still nothing. Why? Why now? Words came easy to him when he talked to girls. Why did they decide to dry up around her? They were supposed to talk. Why couldn’t he talk?

“Busy day, huh?” Mickey asked and he nearly fell over at the force behind his relieved sigh. Her lips pitched upwards just slightly in the corners. It was a miniscule movement, but James noticed it. He always noticed her smiles.

“Yeah, it’s been crazy.” Oh how the word had been softened over the last few years being out in LA. If having Bitters chasing them around on a guided tour all about BTR was the craziest his day could get, he didn’t want to know what would happen next. It seemed the stakes got higher and higher with every passing week. Usually on a Friday.

“You’ve always wanted to be famous. Now you’re finally there. How does it feel?”

James tilted his head, his eyes casting skyward. “Well, it involves me running around in my underwear a lot more than I expected.”

Mickey shrugged. “I don’t think your fan club is all that upset about it.” At James’s questioning hum, she pointed over his shoulder. He barely glanced their way, seeing a blur of girls taking pictures and waving by the doors to the lobby. He turned back around, pausing at the soft crinkle to her brows. “You okay?” Mickey asked.

“Yeah, it’s just…I’ve been trying to talk to you the rest of tour,” James said. “And now all day.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. He had been, but he had something else to take care of first. Or so he told little ball of shame bouncing on his chest. Maybe Katie was right.

Mickey closed the magazine and tossed it to the foot of the lounge chair. It slipped through the cracks, not that she seemed to mind as she lifted her sunglasses. James sucked in a breath at the sight of her, at her face, free of makeup as always, at her long lashes, at her round eyes, dark as lush mahogany wood, at the freckles dotting her nose in such a way the sunlight made them appear to shimmer and shine, as if gold had been carefully placed into her brown skin. A galaxy under the light of day.

She swung her legs over the side of the pool chair, sitting on the edge of it, moving close. Their knees almost touched: James could count the ebb and flow of the waves of heat flowing between them, a current racing from knee to knee.

“I’ve noticed.” And that was so like her, to downplay his stops and starts. He’d almost gone up to her at one point, had caught her eye and flashed a smile and headed her way. But then he saw Kendall and Lucy and he derailed faster than Carlos chasing the ice cream truck. Man, he hadn’t been fair to her. “Seems important. Want to tell me now?”

James nodded. He’d practiced all tour what he’d say to her when he got back, how he thought about her a lot, how he missed having fun with her, how he didn’t realize how much he liked and needed her around, how being able to look behind himself during a show to see her with that smile of pride on her face punched up his energy during the midst of a show helped him more than she knew. But as he sat there, conjuring everything up, nothing felt right. So he said the first thing that came up from his heart. “Hey.”

The surprise on her face nearly bowled him over, it shifted over to a smile a second later, teetering up on one side. “Hey,” Mickey said back, her voice just above a tender whisper.

“Is everything okay? With your dad I mean?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said with a rapid nod of her head. “He’s good. Well, good as he can be right now, I guess.” Clearing her throat, she tucked her hair behind her ear. “He just, uh, woke up one day, couldn’t move his legs. It’s leftover from the spinal cord injury. He’d always had a problem with his legs after…after coming home. Y’know. Even with the amputation. So they brought him to the hospital to see what was wrong. But I mean, y’know, it could’ve been worse. He’ll be fine. He’s home, after everything, so…” Her mouth twisted to the side. “I’m sorry we couldn’t finish the tour.”

“No! Hey, no, it’s cool, we get it,” James said, shaking his head. “We wouldn’t have wanted to keep you girls there. I’m just glad everything’s alright.”

“Yeah. I, um…sometimes I feel like we should've been there for him the whole time. But my dad, you know, he wouldn’t want us to stay home by his side and fuss. But I couldn’t really stay at the apartment either so…that’s why I came here. I wanted to be around something…someone familiar. So....” Her lips parted, as if she was going to say something else, and James hung on the edge of a precipice, waiting. But she clamped her lips shut and leaned back, just slightly, averting her eyes, tugging on the ends of her hair. A cool breeze passed between them, or so James felt.

He nodded, patting his hands against his knees in a quick rhythm. “You wanted to talk to me,” he blurted out. Her eyelashes fluttered with her rapid blinks, her brain trying to process what he’d just said. Or nearly screamed in her face, to be honest. “That’s what you said,” he quickly added, “in your text.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Okay, so what about? Did I do something wrong? What’d I do? Was it the pie thing? You weren’t supposed to be hit by that! Gustavo was supposed to be the one coming into the dressing room!” James’ words fell out his mouth faster than he could stop them, roaring louder than his own thoughts at him to get a grip and stop rambling like an idiot.

“Noooo?” Somehow, she managed to drag the word out and make it sound like a question rather than a statement. Her nose wrinkled, the metallic blue hoop sitting in her left nostril—that was new, James noted—glinted beneath the sun.

“Oh. Was it about the time we locked you guys in the trailer? Because that was supposed to be a joke! We didn’t think Carlos would lose the key.”

“No.” She waved her hand. “That ended up funny anyway.”

“…Was it—?”

“James!” she cut in, holding up her hands, physically blocking his words. “I didn’t…I just wanted to talk.”

“Yeah. But about what?” Her head shook slightly, eyebrow raising, silently asking him to elaborate. Pursing his lips, he dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, quickly sliding past the lock screen, and tapping his messages on the bottom of his home screen. His messages pulled up and he skipped past the BTR group chat, the BTR and Mason group chat, his texts with Sammi (which mostly consists of images they swapped back and forth of fashion options), and the group chat of him, Carlos, and Mickey. His eyes briefly bounced down to the last text he’d sent to his mother, dated five months ago, but then they came back up and he tapped his texts with Mickey, holding his phone in her face as he pointed down to the last one. “See? You said I want to talk when you get back.”

“Right.” Mickey’s eyes lifted from his phone, to his face, back to his phone, and then she squeezed her eyes shut as she let out a pained sigh. “Ohhhh. Oops. See, I…okay…it’s…” Her shoulders bounced in a huff and she began sliding the dogtags around her neck on the chain; it buzzed along from right to left, left to right, over and over. “Lately I’ve just been…I’ve been trying to be more…direct. With things. Things that I want or need. To make myself more clear. When I sent that I meant…I want to talk to you. Like, I want to talk with you. And hang out. With you.” Her words trailed off and she muttered under her breath, something about needing to be even clearer. “Is…that okay?” she ventured to ask, breaking the hold stunned silence had on him.

Quickly he sat up straight, nodded his head, and replaced his shocked expression with one of carefully mixed smooth indifference and pleased preening. Underneath it all, his heart beat in a steady, buzzing thrum, shooting crackling sparks right beneath his skin. “Sure! Yeah! Totally okay! I can get us some lemonades and—”

“And you can tell me about the rest of the tour,” she finished for him. He pointed finger guns in her direction. He’d just gotten to his feet when she spoke his name so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. “I, uh, I missed you.”

All tension rushing out his body, a large smile bloomed on his face. “I missed you too.”

[loveandfictionforall]

Hello! I would like to ask for a mha match-up. So I'm a 27 year old pansexual (prefer male with big titties 😏) female. I have black straight long hair which gets tangled or get in my way easily (like aizawa), so i always tie my hair into a ponytail or half up half down. My body type is very simple, decent slim. Fun fact about me, i can eat alot and not gain any weight. I don't have that many friends, nor count them as (I guess ._.), not because im a loner or something, but because i never really have the time or energy to. Im an artist, i started drawing when im still a small child, so i guess i draw pretty good :). I like horror movies and stuff, but as a coward, i cant sleep after watching a horror movie, even when its not really scary. I like pop music, but it has like a seductive vibe to it, like doja cat "wine pon you" or something. I guess im not an awkward person and am at the same time, like I can start a conversation ONLY if there's something interesting going on and I have a topic to talk about. Like, when I see a BUG 🐛, I'll think of that one time in elementary school where a bug followed me TWICE (present mic will be TRAUMATISED). But if u know me... get your ears ready (sometimes, i dont really talk at hom), because as soon i have something to talk about, im coming after u faster than iida in his full speed. Anyways 💁‍♀️, im a very confused person, like u tell me to mop the table, i'll be like "which cloth??" 🤨 (because im stupid 😞😞) and u usually have to repeat ur words because i cant hear SHIT BECAUSE OF MY SMALL EARS >:((. Anyways.. i dress randomly at home dress presentable going outside, like a clean shirt with mall pants (aka the only jeans i wear). I have a habit to be very arrogant towards my siblings (two very LAZY chickens), like "im mom's favourite child" or "i did (this) today, what about you? Fart and burp??", like I'm just telling the truth right?.. right?? (I like attention :,D). Anyways, I unconsciously zone out and daydream about my one and only.. SHO-CHAN!~ (aka aizawa >//<), because I don't simp for other characters (expect for Present Mic, bakugou and ME (i self love a lot baby, u should too)). I have a bad habit to constantly cut the side of my nails, like I try to cut REALLY DEEP, idk why but I like the pain ig?? ANDD i have a bad habit to keep saying the word SHIT. I think that's all, hope u find my match soon and I hope its AIZAWA-CHAN!!~~ (I sound and feel like miss joke lmao, also thanks for answering my question ♡)

Well... *Cough*. I would like to say Aizawa and I mean, he can suit you, you ain't wrong but I immediately thought of someone else 🙈

I ship you with FatGum!

- I think, he is such a supportive man! Loving all your jokes, intently listens to you rambling about bugs and explaning things as clearly as he can so you do not get confused.

- I can totally see him writing you little post-it notes around your home to remind you of things, like "Please drink some water, sweetheart."

- He would watch horror movies with you, just that you can watch them and sleep afterwards because he it is at your side. He does not like them a lot but hey, it is for you.

- He will show your drawing proudly off. Like to Kirishima and Tetsutetsu, maybe even some of the pro heros. He just loves your drawing and pins some of his favorites on his walls at home.

- He would totally love those dinner dates with you where you both try to outeat the other person. The people around you will be in shock, but you two will enjoy yourselves!

When you daydream, he will stop talking, watching you softly for a second and then let you snap out of it. But he lets you take your time, so you do not feel about it. He will go on with his day until you are ready to go again. He is just absolutely chill and has no problem with it whatsoever.

[hipstergecko]

Okay okay, hear me out.

What if transdimensional telephone? Or even an anachronistic telephone? 😏

NOO I ALREADY HAVE A FIC IM WORKING ON HOW DARE YOU

I like the idea of a young Robin talking to a Danny that is 10 years removed from his time/dimension.

Ough the possibilities. Good shipping material too. But I digress.

The whole story would be about these two boys developing a friendship across dimensions/time via stupid magical rotary phone. And when one of the other faces peril, they find a way to jump to the other. I'm thinking Danny being in the past (read first superhero AU) and remembering the time and date of the danger to Dick and being there to save him/the JL.

Maybe something like this?

—

"Ah! S-sorry! Wrong number!"

Danny blinked at the receiver. People didn't often call the house anymore. Not even telemarketers! People can only last so long in front of one of his parents anti-ghost speeches. It was strange that someone actually bothered to call, even if it was a wrong number.

He put the phone back on the wall and shrugged. Not his problem. Just as he turns away, the phone rings again.

Huh.

Danny let it ring for a moment, then picked it up. "Hello, Fenton residence. May I ask who's calling?"

"Oh! Uh... Hello."

Danny frowned, the voice sounded young. His age or younger even. "Hello. Uh, can I help you or...?"

The phone buzzed with the dial tone. They hung up again.

Danny looked at the phone, confused. That was weird. Wasn't a ghost caller. His parents ghost proofed the phone lines long ago. Maybe it was a first time prank caller. Which wasn't uncommon, but still strange after all this time. The Fenton prank buster tm was still fully operational after all.

This time as soon as he put the phone back on the receiver, it rang again.

"Hey, who is this? Prank calls aren't as funny if you don't do the joke right away." Danny answered, irritated.

"P-prank? I'm not calling to prank!" The voice sounded indignant. "I'm trying to call Br-my dad!"

"Well you keep calling me so..." Danny cleared his throat. In a deeper voice, he continued. "Hello son! I'm so glad you called! Your mother has dinner in the oven and it's reanimating! You might even say that the turkey has gone fowl!"

There was a moment of silence.

Then, quietly over the gentle static of his parent's landline, he heard gentle snickering.

"Well dad, if the turkey's gone rogue, then isn't that simply poultry in motion?"

Danny chuckled. "Your sense of humor is im-peck-able."

"Sir, that pun was ill-eagle."

"Oh toucan play at this game."

---

Dick snuck through the halls of the Justice League base. With any luck, nobody would catch him. Bruce was currently engrossed in a meeting about a new inductee to the Justice League. He should be safe for at least 45 minutes.

He made his way to the artifacts room. He was sure not to touch anything as he crept through the piles of magical items.

Straight to one toxic green rotary phone.

He grinned, picking up the phone and spinning any set of number he could think of. This time he did his birthday.

"Thiiiiiiis is the Fenton residence. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

Dick pinched his nose. "Ah yes, this is Chuck from accounting. Do you have the fourth quarter sales report yet?"

There was a giggle from the other side before an equally nasally voice came through.

"Oh heeeeey Chuck. This is Caaaaarl. I'm sorry to break it to you, but the sales report has been scrapped. See, the guy compiling it was afraid of the number 4 and had to throw it out."

"Why?"

"Cause he was one real odd guy."

"So you're saying he couldn't even?"

Giggles on either side of the line filled the room.

Dick grinned. "So how're you doing Danny?"

---

"Welcome to Fenton airlines, this is your captain speaking."

"Hey Danny."

Danny quickly sobered. Dick always had some sort of lead in or one liner. This didn't bode well. "Hey Dick. What's up? Is everything okay?"

"It's... things aren't great right now with me and Bru-my dad. I'm not going to be able to call for awhile. I just wanted to let you know."

"Oh." Danny felt himself slump a bit. He'd really come to enjoy the occasional pun battle and chit chat with the guy he'd come to know as Dick. "Okay. Uh... Thanks for the heads up."

"Yeah."

"Listen Dick, I know we really don't know each other and... I know I sound like a creep, but if you need any help, just give me a call, okay?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. Why was he hesitating about this? Just because his parents didn't give him or his sister the attention they wanted, didn't mean he couldn't extend his help to someone else. Even if that someone else was a complete stranger.

"Uh... I don't think..."

"And I know I don't know where you live and I have no idea about you life and all that but like, dude, you're fun to talk to. I don't get to just, talk much anymore. About dumb stuff like puns and junk." He knew he was rambling, but he didn't stop. "I know I'm just some stranger, but I've been through some stuff and know how it feels to have someone to rant to. And I know being at odds with parents sucks and I've been there and if you need someone to just talk at about stuff... Well..." He finally trailed off.

There was a pause.

"... Thanks Danny." The voice over the phone sounded fond. Like he was smiling even though he was going through it. "I'll try to remember that."

"Sweet. I mean you have my number."

"I actually don't."

"What?" Danny frowned. "Then how do you keep calling me?"

"On a Magic green rotary phone."

"I'm sorry, on a whaaa-hang on. Does it have a dude with salt and pepper hair and a cheesy grin on the back?"

There was another pause.

"Yes."

"Woooooow." Danny rocked back on his heels. "I thought that thing was lost to time and space. Nice!"

"Okay now I have questions."

"Well, how much time do you have?"

--- ☎️ ---

"So, your dad built a portal to an interdimensional realm for science in your basement, rebuilt an old rotary phone to try to speak to the dead, but tripped and tossed it into the void of infinite dimensions and somehow it turned up here."

"That about sums it up."

Dick could feel a headache coming on. "That sounds incredibly dumb."

"Dude, that isn't even the half of it. I don't know which dimension you're in or even when you are! I thought that thing was gone for good."

"You know this begs more questions than it answers."

Dick was startled out of his thoughts as he heard the door to the artifacts room open. Zatanna's voice echoed through the room as she spoke with a man, Constantine?

"I have to go." He whispered into the phone. "I'll call back when I can."

"Okay! Take care of yourself Dick."

"You too Danny."

And the line went dead.

---

It had been years since the phone rang. And so much had happened since he last spoke to Dick. Pariah Dark, Vortex, Undergrowth, coming clean to his parents, that huge mess with the GIW, something about a meteor, his alternate version evil self getting a redemption arc, and the interdimensional war.

Frankly he hadn't even thought about the phone in a long time. At one point he considered setting up a voicemail, but never got around to it.

It never rang nowadays anyway. He'd tried quite a few times to call Dick back, but no one ever picked up. It would just ring endlessly.

Eventually he stopped trying to call.

Danny flopped heavily down on his parent's old sofa, groaning as he let the cushions take his weight. He hadn't been home in months. Things in the infinite realms had really taken off with this whole king thing. His entire life (afterlife?) was filled to the brim with fights, political meetings, and fixing temporal displacements.

Whoever said that the dead were peaceful should've been shot.

He was just about to close his eyes for a well deserved nap when he startled upright. A familiar ringing sound filled the air.

Someone was calling the house phone.

He scrambled to the wall where the old phone hung. It was even more beat up than it had been years ago. The phone had made it through several invasions and countless explosions. Was it luck? Maybe.

Danny snatched the phone from it's cradle.

"Hello?"

There was a pause.

"Danny?"

The voice was deeper than he remembered. But that made sense. They had both grown up.

But just to be sure...

"How do you spot a nosy pepper?"

He paused. This joke was golden.

"Because it gets jalepeño business."

Dick replies without missing a beat.

"Well that's just un-bell-ievable."

Danny let out a breath of relief and felt a smile stretch his face. "Dude! It is you! Your voice sounds so different!" He laughed. "How've you been?"

"Awful." There was a short pause. "But enough about me, cayenne ask you a question?"

"No poblano! What's up?"

"So, you know a lot about the infinite realms, right?"

"Yeeeeah?"

"And how it connects all of time at different points?"

"Uh-huh?"

"How do you find someone lost in the time stream?"

Danny felt his whole body twitch.

"Okay, now I have questions."

---

The watchtower had fallen.

The great satellite that served for the JL's base of operations had crashed to the earth. Countless lives were lost. Those some of those aboard the watchtower, some beneath it.

The great creature roared in triumph. This ungodly being that defied the mind and spat on reality could not be defeated by mortals. Anyone with eyes could be blinded by the mind warping horror.

It was Eldritch.

And it was destroying the world.

Dick rushed through the wreckage. Searching frantically for... There!

He raced towards a panel, heaving it off of the dark clad form beneath it.

"Bruce! Bruce get up!" Dick hefted the broken man's arm over his shoulder. "We have to get you out of here!" He tapped his com. "Oracle! The watchtower is down! Can you hear me?"

Nothing but static.

"Richard..." Batman's head lolled to the side. "Dick. I'm..."

"Shut up shut up you aren't going to die here!" Dick grunted, pulling the man along.

"I'm sorry son."

"We can't..." Bruce murmured. A concussion, no, severe head trauma. "... S'magic."

"Shut up damnit!" Dick couldn't let himself cry. They would both be killed. But he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks regardless of his will to stop them. "We're gonna get out of this! We have to!"

Dick swore again. He looked around frantically. He saw members of the JL all doing their best to get those trapped under debris free. Those not helping the injured were mounting another attack against the being.

Which would, like before, be ultimately useless.

Dick didn't know what to do.

"Where is the JLD? Can't they do anything about this?"

"Const-antine.... Lookin' for... Help." Bruce slurred. "Magical artifact of... sum' kind."

Okay okay. Dick could do that. He could work with that. He led batman to one of the hastily made medical stations and ran back out into the chaos and debris. A fire had started and heroes were clearing the area.

Dick darted through the wreckage, trying to remember where the magical artifacts room had been.

It took an hour of searching before he happened upon it. Completely on accident after almost tripping over a broken steel beam.

One toxic green rotary phone.

Dick snatched it up and ran.

--- ☎️ ---

The phone rang.

"Danny please... please pick up."

It rang again.

"Please please please." Dick pleaded, sitting at Bruce's side while the monster raged. His head was bowed and he held the phone like a lifeline. How it hasn't been destroyed was beyond him. How it still worked without power was a mystery as well.

But at this moment it didn't matter all that much.

It rang again.

"... Please. Please pick up..." Dick gave a weak laugh. "I'm close to giving up the ghost here Danny."

It rang again.

"The again, it won't be so bad. At least I'll get to keep my ghoulish figure."

It rang again.

"I might cry though. It'll ruin my ma-scare-a."

It rang again.

Dick let his head fall and hit the cot his father was resting on. This was a long shot. He knew it. Danny might not be able to do anything at all. Maybe he was just some guy he had called on a whim. A friend connected across dimensions.

He still wanted to call him though.

It rang again.

Dick heaved a shuddering sigh. "At least I'll have great hair." He couldn't help a snicker. "On account of my scare-spray."

There was a click.

"This is your friendly neighborhood ghostbuster, how may I exorcise you today?"

"Danny." Dick's relief was palpable. "Thank God."

"Hey Dick. What's up?"

"I need a favor." Dick heard something massive something crash into the ground not 2 blocks away. "A big favor."

"When and where."

Suddenly the enormity and ridiculousness of the situation caught up to Dick. He started laughing.

"I don't even know if you can do anything about it! It's crazy! A giant Eldritch horror broke into our dimension and is going to destroy everything!"

"Dick..."

"Like I know things had gotten bad before, but this..." His laughter had a tinge of hysteria to it. "None of us know what to do! And we're supposed to be superheroes! It's crazy! It's insane!"

"Dick! Calm down! Where and when are you?!"

"And what's even more crazy is the fact that I decided to call you up in the middle of a warzone! On a freaking rotary phone!! Who does that?! Crazy people do that!"

"Hey, why did the chicken cross the road?"

Dick stopped. The non sequitur was so out of left field that it pulled him out of the spiral.

"Wh-what?"

"To get you to tell him the time! Tell me the time!"

"Uuuugh... 2:45?"

"And the date!"

"2023?"

"You're 10 years ahead of me?! Nope doesn't matter! Where are you right now?!"

"Just outside of Gotham city. New Jersey."

"Okay. I'll be there. I promise."

There was a sudden chill. Like an arctic breeze that swept through the air. A horrible ripping sound tore through the noise of chaos.

Dick had the good sense to step outside the medical tent to look up at the sky. A glowing toxic green portal split the sky like a horrible scar. A figure came through it.

It was too far away to see, so high that it floated at eye (???) level with the creature laying waste to the world. It leveled a toxic green blast at the horror.

Dick gasped, watching as the figure began attacking the Eldritch being with vigour. Watching as it deftly evaded attacks and made the thing howl with pain and fury.

Dick watched, speechless as the small figure nearly single handedly dropped the Eldritch creature to it's knees. An enormous rift filled with a swirling green void ripped itself into the sky just beyond the entity. And with a massive green shield, the figure shoved the horrible creature into it.

It screamed and screeched and howled, but couldn't fight the shield forcing it into the rift. It tumbled inside like an ungainly sack of squishy marbles. The rift snapped shut behind it.

And then Danny spoke up.

And there was silence. Beautiful beautiful silence.

"Sounds like I handled your problem spook-tacularly." His voice was smug. "Please remember to thank your waiter. Talk to you later Dick! I'll see you in 10 years."

And he hung up.

Dick barely heard him.

A light smattering of applause heralded the descent of the figure. A man bigger in size than even Superman, wearing a fur ruffed cloak made of the darkness of space peppered with stars and a crown wreathed in green flame. His hair was a shock of white the floated in a nonexistent breeze and his eyes burned with green light. His armor was black and white, emblazoned with a stylized P on the breastplate.

He drifted lower and lower, eyes scanning the debris and various people here and there. His glowing eyes finally fell across Dick, who had been standing slack jawed outside the medical tent holding a neon green rotary phone, and he smiled.

His teeth were sharp.

He descended slowly to the ground and walked forward. His smile only growing as Dick took a nervous step back and hugged the phone to his chest. The man finally stopped after coming face to face with Dick. If you could call it that. He towered over the vigilante.

A tense moment of silence passed.

Then the man cleared his throat.

"Did you ask if his refrigerator was running?"

"Wha-"

"Because that's a classic. Prank call 101." The man grinned. "Or just just pretend that you're their dad."

The phone fell from Dick's nerveless hands.

"DANNY??!"

---

Well that was fun! I definitely didn't hours of precious sleep writing this. 👻☎️

Short DPXDC Prompts #997

Young Dick Grayson is wandering in the JL headquarters in the artifacts room. He’s been just looking around, occasionally reading placards that Zatanna or Dr. Fate have added on the items used and its history.

He pauses when he comes across an old green rotary phone. Next to the phone is a small placard. It reads “never pick this up.”

He knows he shouldn’t touch it. He’s in a room full of magical artifacts. There’s no way this won’t come back to bite him. But his curiosity overwhelms him.

He picks up the phone and dials a random number.

It rings.

And rings.

And rings.

And- “Hello! Fenton speaking! Who am I speaking to?”

Someone answered. —

Danny doesn’t know why this unknown number rang the house phone but ngl, he’s a bit curious. (Nomatter what number you choose, it always goes to the Fentons landline

[chaoticspacefam]

Tell us about You’re In My Veins !

[This one was from a “WIP Ask Game” a while back where I listed titles/placeholder names for my current WIPs and y’all got to ask me about any that interested you! I don’t have the link anymore but yeah, context sjkgjdg]

CW: there’s a snippet at the bottom of this ask which has some suggestive/raunchy connotations. No direct actual smut (that’s already happened prior to this bit at the end 😏) but this is very much an argument about their sex life

Hoooo boy where do I start with this one? It’s one of the ones that’s been stuck in WIP hell for the longest goddamn time. Not even because I don’t like it or anything. The bits I have written of this one are still pretty solid, if anything they need some minor polishing (I was awful at paragraphing when I started this and it shows lmao 90) and it’d prolly still be post-able. But at this stage I’m not 100% sure exactly where it’ll fit into the Creeping Shadows timeline. I know its somewhere mid-to-end of Balmorra, and definitely before Voss but you know...that’s an awful big gap rn :’) I’m sure I’ll figure out where it goes eventually, but till then its stuck in WIP hell 💀 hahaha Anyway the first draft of this was meant to be like make-up smut but in true Aria fashion, she had to ruin it by deciding “nope I’m not ready for feelings yet” and she turned it into a fight (but that said, it does end with Aria seriously reflecting on said feelings even if the overall “tone” of it is that she hates that she’s having them 🤣🤣) so it’s a milestone for their relationship which does, in the end, lead to them actually fixing it for real later on down the line. As a joke I like to call it “make up sex but backwards” bc that’s basically what ended up happening with this one I can’t remember if the rules of this ask game said to include a snippet but I kinda feel bad this one was sat in the askbox for so long so have a lil snippet as a treat 💖

>> SNIPPET STARTS HERE, last warning that it gets a lil suggestive from here on out! also quite a lot of swearing, this is very much a lovers’ spat and both of them went for the THROAT XD <<

Vano’s jaw tightened. “Nice to know you were so concerned with my safety. You know, just a simple ‘hey Va, I’m not dead but I can’t be with you right now’ would have sufficed!” The Mirialan growled, sitting up on her hands, her eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare. “And just for the record, I'd GLADLY die for you, even though you don't fucking deserve it.” “I never asked you to!” Aria snapped back on impulse, not thinking of the effect the words would have on Vano. “I never asked for any of this. I never asked for you to pad after me like a helpless Kath pup!!” The Marauder drew back, and Aria felt the reaction to her words sting Vano like a slap to the face. “Well, I never asked to fall in love with a self-centered bitch either, but here we are!” she yanked her robes back on sharply and sat back on her haunches to glare at Aria. “The only thing I'm sorry for, is that I was stupid enough to think that if I gave you enough time, this would be more than just fucking to you!” “I never promised you flowers and poetry, I told you it was just sex and you kept crawling back anyway!” Aria shouted after her as the Sith stormed away, grabbing her discarded equipment as she passed it. “Fine, then you can find someone else to go to bed with, because I'm DONE with you!” “You always say that, and a week later your head's between my legs again!!” she retorted, knowing the Mirialan had left the ship when no further reply came. The Jedi sank down onto the pillows and choked on the involuntary sob that left her as Vano's last words spun in her head like a swarm of angry hornets.

There’s some more filler/exposition-y stuff between this snippet and the last line but it feels prudent to mention the last line is a bit of internal dialogue (I seem to do that on occasion, first this oneshot, then Strikhedonia...guess its a writing quirk now? /jk) from Aria and it’s just: I hate how much I need you!!

[zutaralesbian]

Agree about 11x07. Makes no sense for them to suddenly want this and tbh I don’t even think the episode says they do. I think it was almost overdramatized. It proved they did have a follow up conversation after 11x01 about going off with others alone and decided no i don’t want that and i don’t want you too either. I think it was as simple as “of course I don’t want anyone else, the only reason I would ever entertain doing that was if it was with you, together, about us,” and while I don’t think that would work out either, I do think this was the reasoning not even with the intention on acting on it, cause they seem to forget it was even a decision in ep7. I just think the new found security in their relationship made them they think hey this could be ok but the appeal was just thinking about the sex they’d have with eachother LMAO. anyways in the episode they but got jealous of the other just joking about “if you’re no there who knows what could happen” and knew the other would be if they said it. they even ranted they can’t be friends with these people because that could lead to more like their relationship . And honestly is there even proof it wasnt just them on top of eachother in the steamroom or at the orgy 🤷‍♀️😏 So yes no matter what one thinks it’s Definitely not an open relationship at all. Like the lease possible way it could be. More of a rare occurrence of an extra hand or two. I’m pretty sure it was a one and done thing to, never to be mentioned again anyway.

The whole thing was just stupid and annoying because it was sort of implying that they couldn’t have gay friends without wanting to eventually fuck them. It pains me that the writer of this episode is apparently a gay man himself because…wtf my dude.

But yeah I agree. This reply is short because I don’t really have anything else to add lol.

[maximoffslilwitchintraining]

Just gal pals 😏

Part 2

A/N: umm I have no idea what this is. It’s 3am and this was an idea I had for a short fic while working the other day. Essentially this is the stupid shit me and my friend do all the time and I guess I thought what if I made it Nat and Rs thing and than Wanda ends up getting caught in the middle. Also my friend would tease me endlessly if she found this, so lets pray she never does. But if you do find it…. Hey 😏.. considering getting a small rat tattoo, what’d you think? 💫🐭

Summary: Nat and reader are just friends, but makes constant sexual jokes and touches each-other in a suggestive ways. It’s simply their strange humor. They end up doing it in front of Wanda one day and it makes her blush profusely, which r and nat finds real amusing, so now whenever they are around Wanda they play it up even more.

Warnings: sexually suggestive ig? Cussing

Word count: 763 (again it’s late, this is trash)

You and Natasha had quite the interesting humor, not everyone got it though, but that was part of the fun. Tony would often say you had the power of turning any mundane conversation, sexual without even trying. The only ingredients needed were you and Nat, and chaos would follow. This was effectively the way you and Nat spoke to each other. You got each other on such a deep level, that words were rarely necessary, you just knew what the other was thinking. Your relationship was based on lots of love and understanding, and then a whole lot of games.

Nat had taken to calling you her little rat. Which was endearing and sweet, to the both of you. This was however lost in translation to most people around you, as her tone was not always so sweet. “Rat!” She would call.”Tie my shoes.” She would demand and you’d play up the innocent act, getting on your knees, making your lip quiver, til people felt bad for you. She would ignore you and call you a dumb bitch and people would nervously laugh wondering if you would actually get into a fight eventually. Then you’d snicker to yourselfs enjoying your strange power play and the reactions it garnered.

You were also inclined to flirting excessively, in the most sexual way you could come up with. This was something most other people found funny too. How they’d catch you two making sex faces at eachother from across the room. There was however one person who seemed to struggle when placed in this situation. Wanda, never commented on your behavior, nor did she laugh or worry. She simply blushed avoiding eye contact at all costs. Which you certainly took notice of and you were sure, Nat did too.

So you can imagine the glee on her face when the two of you walked into the commonroom to find Wanda sitting on the couch. She would have to be alone with the two of you. You wanted in that moment to tell Nat to go easy, but before you had the chance she walked over and sat down. You simply followed suit.

“Hey, Wanda. Whatcha doin?” You spoke, smiling at her, trying to make her comfortable, knowing what Nat had in mind.

“Nothing really, I was just watching this movie. Wanna join in.” Wanda spoke, sweet as usual. Nat went to get snacks as the two of you got comfortable.

“Here you go.” Nat spoke, holding the bowl out in front of you. As you attempted to reach in, she slapped away your hand. Wanda's eyes widened at the redness of your hand, as you rubbed it to soothe the sting.

“Not for you.” She spoke, leaning over you to give the bowl to Wanda. Frowning, you smacked Natashas ass as it was practically in your face. Wanda audibly gulped at the sound, taking the bowl from Nat. Her cheeks turning red when Natasha spoke once more.

“Oh, you want me to stay like this for a second, so you can fully appreciate the view. Maybe feel some more?” Natasha mocked you, wiggling her body in front of you. Wanda stared at you, waiting for your next move.

“Hah! you fucking wish.” You rolled your eyes, pushing her off you.

Nat finally sat down between you two. As she did she looked over to you, sticking her tongue out and moving it in suggestive ways. You simply responded by wiggling your eyebrows and smirking. Wanda's eyes wide as she watched the transaction, unsure of where this was going. You were both very aware of her, but pretended like nothing had happened, simply going back to watching the movie and deciding to give it a rest for a bit.

The movie was nearing its end when Natasha started getting bored, which was always dangerous. She glanced at Wanda who seemed to have finally relaxed a bit, but still flushed from earlier. She abruptly slapped a hand on your upper thigh, Wanda's eyes flying to the place where it had landed. You looked from the hand to Natasha with a slight smirk before placing your hand on hers.

“God, you wanna do it right here, right now, baby?” Natasha said, seductively with a raised eyebrow. Wanda choked on her popcorn and started coughing uncontrollably. You both looked over to her with concern.

“You good, Maximoff?” Natasha asked, rubbing her back.

“I’m… f-fine.” She said between coughs.

“Jeez, Nat I think we better go easy on her. Wanna make sure she survives the night.” You both giggled at that, making Wanda blush even harder, still coughing and teary eyed.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

[eevvvaa]

I'm glad my prompts inspired you ! I'm finally reading this little series, let's go ! 😁

“Okay, ma’am. I’ll put in a request for a black and white to go past and take a look when they have a minute, alright?”

Oh yes, I feel way more heard and taken seriously now ! 🙄

"and would have fallen flat on her ass if two strong hands hadn’t reached out to grab her arms and keep her upright."

Ooouh me likey 😌 Hey Dean 🥰

Ahah they do more look like they should make movies than any other job ! But I sure wouldn't mind answering to a few questions and more 😏

Wow ! Ahah she already thirst for him and just took a look at him 😂 But who can blame her ?

I like that from the start the two of them had physical contact

I like how the talk they gave her did more good than bad because it made her feel understand, and as much as it's world collapsing news, it comforted her in the idea that she wasn't insane and actually listened by them

Aaaw I love how at ease she is with them, how they enjoyed each other's presences even though they don't know each other 😊

I don't know if everything Dean does is calculated to turn her - us, me - on or if he's just a turn on 🙈😂

I love Dean and his jokes and as much as I don't always truly understand them all, it always makes me smile and chuckle. This man's humor is underated and not as bad as his brother makes it appear (but love you, Sam!) But this man could just win me with a cheesy and bad pick-up line, so am I objective? 😅

She laughed again and Dean leaned an inch closer to her. “Man, you have the most gorgeous smile and laugh. Sounds like music.”

Mooooh, stop it ☺ See ? That's the kind of cheesy, stupid comments I'm talking about !

His voice was rough and warm and Y/N shivered slightly. “Cold sweetheart?” He asked. “I could warm you up.”

With pleasure 😏(Or this kind of lines!)

Oh my... oh God. Sam just left and he didn't wait a damn second to bring the flirting to the next level ! She wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. No one was ready and I'm definitely not feeling things on the train right now 🥵

Damn you Dean Winchester and your teasing and touching in public. I'm in public right now !!

She gasped and panted slightly as she shook her head. “How did you even know it was me? I could have turned out to be a big guy named Bubba!”

She's not wrong ! Would have been super funny though 😂 (Also, I read the name as Booba and in France he's a muscly, tall, black rapper so it made me laugh to imagine him!)

Daaamn, that public bathroom sex was 🥵🥵 and I'd love to have that with him but I loved even MORE is that it ended with laughs 😊 I just love how hot it was and it makes it real to have someone telling them off ! And I just love that it made them laugh 😁

As she slid the leather end of his belt into the loop, he leaned down to kiss her softly, all his brute strength and raw passion seemingly tamped down for the moment as he slid his long fingers into her hair and kissed the tip of her nose before sipping at her lips once more.

Aaaaw how can he be so hot and so adorable the second after ?! 😫

I loved it ! It definitely wasn't how I had imagined the use of those prompts, but I love what you did with them !! 😁

Laughter Like Music Pt. 1

Summary: Y/N wants someone to believe her, and is very grateful when she meets a green-eyed hunter who does.

Pairings: Dean x Y/N

Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Sex in semi-public place, unprotected p in v sex, fingering, slightly rough sex, dirty-talking!dean, slight Dom!dean, slight Sir kink.

Word Count: 3,346

A/N:  So, earlier today I asked for some prompts or bingos or something that could kickstart my lazy muse. And I got some great help from @fandomohana and @peyton-warren, which I so appreciate. I have every intention of using those prompts to make some fun, smutty fluffy fics!

But as I was perusing those amazing prompts I remembered that quite a while ago, the lovely @eevvvaa sent me an ask with some fantastic prompts that I loved and had big plans for, but then never followed through with! 😩

So, I figured I would work on those prompts first. She sent me three batches of three prompts each (each batch has one fluffy, one angsty, and one smutty prompt) which were meant to be used together. So, I'm going to work all nine of the prompts (3 prompts for each part) into a little three part mini-series. This is part one, and it's ended up much smuttier than I'd originally planned. 😄 The next two installments should be a slightly better balance between the smut, fluff and angst. Lol!

The 3 prompts from her ask will be highlighted.

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom were created by @talesmaniac89

“Jesus Christ!” Y/N angrily gesticulated at the cop across the counter from her. “Can’t you listen for one second? I am telling you that a man was ripped apart right in front of me, and you just refuse to listen.”

The gray-haired cop held on to the same unimpressed expression he’d worn from the moment she’d walked up to the counter and interrupted him on his computer. 

“Ma’am, I have listened, and I understand what you think you saw, but I’ll tell you again that no missing persons report has been filed, and -”

Y/N cut him off. “He was a homeless man, it’s highly unlikely anyone is going to report him missing!”

“And,” the cop continued, talking over the end of her sentence, “and, what you’re describing is impossible. Now, you said you saw him very early this morning, is it possible you were just distracted, or overly tired?”

Y/N gritted her teeth and tried one more time to be heard. “It was almost seven o’clock in the morning, so no it wasn’t that early, and I was not over-tired. I’m not a fucking toddler. I saw what I saw. The man was sitting in the alley as I was passing by, and in a blink, there was someone ON him, ripping him apart with their bare hands. The man started screaming and by the time I pulled my phone out to call 911, they were both gone. I did not imagine it, I did not dream it. It happened in the alleyway between Walbash and St. Mary St. Can’t you at least send some cops down that way to look?”

The cop, Jenkins, his name tag said, finally let go of his uncaring expression and smiled placatingly at her, which was a thousand times worse, and made her want to punch him in the face. “Okay, ma’am. I’ll put in a request for a black and white to go past and take a look when they have a minute, alright?”

She just angrily shook her head and threw her hands up, frustrated beyond belief. She turned to walk out of the station, and ended up walking into a wall of male.

She let out a little cry of surprise and alarm, and would have fallen flat on her ass if two strong hands hadn’t reached out to grab her arms and keep her upright. She straightened up as he let go and tilted her head far back to properly see the two towering guys in front of her. They were both very tall and broad, and Y/N took a step back from them so she could stop breaking her neck to see them. 

They were both in cheap blue suits, and the short haired guy flashed a badge at her quickly that said FBI.

“Ma’am, can I ask you to come with us, we’ve got a few questions for you.” His voice was deep and commanding and she couldn’t help noticing that he was also drop dead gorgeous. They both looked more like they belonged on a movie screen somewhere than in this dingy, police station in the middle of Nebraska.

But the one who’d flashed his badge had sucked her breath away immediately in a way that made her desperate to yank on his navy blue tie and pull him down to her level so she could taste those full, succulent lips. She was in the process of imagining his mouth moving over hers, and feeling the hands that had grabbed hold of her so tightly, pressed into her skin, or holding her in place while he -

“Ma’am.” The other agent was trying to get her attention and she finally broke away from that intoxicating green gaze to look at his partner.

“Huh?” She said stupidly.

The long-haired agent smiled. “We’d like to talk with you about the statement you just made to this officer.”

The frustration of the situation seeped back into her mind and she frowned deeply. “Aw, come on, look, I’m not crazy okay. I know what I saw, so if you’re just going to tell me again that I was imagining things, then…” She waved her hands to show that she was through with this crap, and moved to walk around them.

But as she tried to pass by the FBI Adonis, he reached out and once again grabbed hold of her. She looked up at him angrily, about to protest this civil rights violation of holding her against her will, when he spoke.

“I believe you.” 

His voice was much softer now, as though he only wanted her to hear him. She scoffed slightly, not sure she believed HIM.

“How could you?” She asked, her voice equally soft. “It’s a ridiculous story, how could you believe me?”

He turned to face her completely and his unblinking stare made her heart start pumping double time. “Because,” he answered simply, “there have been two other homeless people attacked and killed, and because we’re pretty sure we know what’s doing it. Til now though, we haven’t had a witness. So,” he let go of her arm, “we have just a few questions for you.”

***

Twelve hours later, Y/N’s whole world had been turned upside down, and yet, she was grateful. From the moment she’d seen that creature, a werewolf apparently, rip apart a grown man like tissue paper, everything had been spinning. Ironically, it was the Winchesters' explanation that monsters were real that made her feel better. She wasn’t insane, she wasn’t delusional, they listened to her, they believed her and they got rid of the monster. 

Now they were all sitting at a booth at the local dive bar called, “Suds”, and sharing a couple pitchers of beer and laughter. It was strange how quickly she’d felt safe with them, as though she’d known them for years, as though they’d always been friends.

Sam was intelligent, sweet, and entirely charming, with a smile that would light up a room - though it didn’t pop out as often as she would have liked. Dean was brash and sarcastic, a bit rough around the edges, but the absolute man of her dreams. 

She couldn’t look at him without nearly panting. Everything he did seemed calculated to turn her on, from the way he gulped down his beer to the flirty smiles he was throwing her as she sat beside him in the booth, trying not to inhale too deeply and get completely taken out by his intoxicating scent. He smelled like warmth and sunshine, even in this grubby bar, and it was something she desperately wanted to get closer to.

He was also very funny. He had a sharp, sarcastic, slightly morbid sense of humor that made her laugh even when they’d been in a very dangerous situation earlier in the day. That was some kind of gift.

He was keeping her laughing and giggling now, as Sam left to get another round, by making up scenarios for different couples around the bar. He was hilariously spot on as he predicted their next moves.

Y/N put her hand on his arm. “Stop, you’re too good at this, just how much time do you spend in bars? You’ve got all their moves down pat!”

Dean grinned at her. “More time than is good for me, I can promise you that.”

She laughed again and Dean leaned an inch closer to her. “Man, you have the most gorgeous smile and laugh. Sounds like music.”

His voice was rough and warm and Y/N shivered slightly. “Cold sweetheart?” He asked. “I could warm you up.”

As Y/N felt her core muscles clench at the invitation, a pitcher landed on the table in front of them, and she looked up to see Sam smiling a little sheepishly.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave.” He said with a slight eye roll. 

Y/N felt bad and said that he should stay, but Dean just smiled at his brother and slapped him on the back, tossing him the keys to his car. “Thanks, Sammy. Drive safe, I’ll take a cab home.”

Sam reached his towering body over the table and gave Y/N a hug where she was still sitting. “Take care, Y/N, it was really great to meet you.”

She smiled up at him and kissed his cheek. “You too, Sam, and thank you so much.”

He nodded, and pointed a finger at his brother. “Be good.” He said simply before turning and leaving. Dean slid back into the booth beside her despite the fact that the other side was now available.

Y/N wasn’t about to complain, as he crowded closer to her. He leaned in to whisper in her ear causing more shivers.

“Sam says to be good. But you sure make me wanna do bad things with you.” He slid his arm around her waist, his fingers finding the bare skin just under the hem of her t-shirt and doodling patterns there. “What do you think, Y/N? Wanna do bad things with me?”

All Y/N could manage was a quick nod and a kind of affirmative humming sound. Words were beyond her as Dean nuzzled his nose behind her ear.

“You’re all I’ve been thinking about all day, you know that?” He asked, as he moved his other hand under the table and over her stocking-covered thighs. “Do you?”

Y/N shook her head and then turned her face into his shoulder to stifle a moan as his long fingers swept up under her skirt to pass fleetingly over her drenched panties. 

“Were you thinking about me, sweetheart? Hm?” He ran his middle finger along her seam, pressing against her clit and making her yelp with pleasure. His mouth was back at her ear and his delicious voice just kept pouring electrifyingly filthy words into her head as he touched her under the table.

“Were you hoping I’d get my hands on you like this? Anxious to feel my mouth against your skin? I was; I’ve been desperate to taste you, touch you, to make you feel so good.”

He ripped a small hole in her sheer stockings and pushed her panties aside to sweep two thick fingers through her slick. With a quiet growl that drowned out her gasp, he dipped his tongue into her ear before putting his lips to it. “Fuck, baby, this is all for me? I wanna taste you so bad. Do you want to feel me inside you? Say yes, baby, cause all I can think of is sinking into that slick, hot cunt and fucking you hard enough to leave you feeling me for days.”

As he twirled his forefinger around her clit, Y/N let out a deep moan that was mercifully drowned out by the guitars and drums of the rock song playing over the soundsystem. 

“What do you say, Y/N? Wanna be really bad and meet me in the bathroom in a minute?”

Y/N was a shaking mess, but she nodded and then whimpered as he took away his fingers. As he started to leave, she pulled him back by his shirt lapels, and kissed him, sucking on his plump bottom lip as she’d been fantasizing about for the last twelve hours.

Dean quickly took over the kiss though, and plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, tasting all of her and leaving her thoroughly ravaged as he stood to go. He pointed a finger at her. “One minute, no more.” He ordered.

Y/N smiled, and though she’d barely had two full glasses of beer, she felt drunk as she bit into her bottom lip. “Hell yeah. I mean,” she purred up at him, “Yes, sir.”

She felt an electric buzz across her skin as his eyes got darker, pupils blown with lust. He turned on his heel quickly and made a beeline for the bathroom. 

After he’d gone, Y/N tried to count Mississippi's to measure out a minute, but she lost track as her skin burned for Dean’s touch and her pussy dripped. Finally, somewhere around forty seconds, she gave up and rushed towards the bathrooms. 

She looked around the deserted back area where the bathrooms were located before she pushed gently on the swinging door that led into the men’s room. When the door was barely open a foot, Dean’s hand shot out from behind the door and yanked her forward. He pinned her quickly against the wall, pushing his knee between her legs.

She gasped and panted slightly as she shook her head. “How did you even know it was me? I could have turned out to be a big guy named Bubba!”

Dean smiled and licked his lips as he rubbed his thumb across her mouth. “Well, if you were Bubba, then Bubba has some pretty small, delicate hands.” He said, grabbing up both of hers in his and raising them above her head, pressing them against the cold, ugly tile that adorned the whole bathroom from floor to ceiling.

Y/N laughed at that and reached forward to get to Dean’s mouth, but he pulled back slightly and with her hands pinned the way they were, she couldn’t reach him. She pouted, but he smiled, slow and sexy.

“Call me that again.”

Y/N knew exactly what he was asking for, but decided if he was going to hold his kisses ransom, then she would just play dumb and tease him back. 

She blinked up at him innocently. “Call you what?’

Dean’s eyes flared with so much heat she felt scorched by it, but she was enjoying the anticipation and the game too much to give in too quickly. 

Obviously deciding that two could play at this game, Dean manhandled her into one of the wider stalls and locked the door before pushing her against it, crowding her back tightly with his bulk, and pinning her hands at her side. 

“Say it.”

Y/N grinned and bit at her bottom lip, her blood throbbing through her veins at the demanding look in Dean’s eyes. “Say what?”

Dean let go of one wrist so he could push up under her skirt and shred her pantyhose completely. The sound of the ripping fabric was like an aphrodisiac and Y/N was soon shaking with need as he pushed her panties aside and began circling his thumb on her clit. She pushed down against his hand and he pulled it away from her.

He answered her cry of frustration with a dirty chuckle. “What’s wrong, baby? What do you want?” 

“Dean!” Y/N cried, reaching for him with her free hand, trying to unbuckle his belt, but he quickly slammed her wrist back against the door and held her there with an unyielding grip.

“Tell me what you want. Beg for it, beautiful. You’re so gorgeous like this, all hot and needy. So, tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

Giving up the game completely, Y/N strained her neck forward again, reaching for his mouth. “I need you to fuck me.” She cried out hoarsely. “Fuck me, Sir, please.”

Dean immediately spun her around, slamming her against the door while he lifted her skirt and then pulled her hips out towards him. She heard his belt buckle jingling and his zipper open just before he rammed into her, making her scratch at the metal door, desperate to grab on to something. But all she could do was flatten her hands there and press her burning cheek against the cool surface.

Dean pulled out and slammed into her again, pressing so deep and hard that Y/N had to shove her fist into her mouth to stop from screaming. Over and over, he crashed the head of his cock against her cervix, before pulling out, and running it gently over her sweet spot with every pass, tightening the coil in her belly until she finally came apart, her muscles squeezing around his thick shaft as it continued to ram into her clenching pussy.

Dean pulled out and she felt her slick dribbling down her thighs as he turned her gently to face him and then lifted her like she weighed nothing. He wrapped one arm around her waist, and guided her back onto his rock hard, velvety smooth length. She dropped her head back as she wrapped her legs around his waist and both arms around his neck. 

He used his free hand to push up her t-shirt and bra, grasping and squeezing her breast with his thick and powerful fingers, before lowering his head to nip and lick at her nipple. 

The pressure in her abdomen began again as he raised and lowered her slowly on his cock. It had been rough and hard, but now it was silky and slow, and Y/N wanted to cry with how perfect he was. He was sucking bruises into the skin on her neck when his thrusts began to falter slightly, telling her he was close. 

She pulled his head up to hers and kissed him deeply, then panted lightly into his mouth as he reached his hand down to rub her clit, pressing perfectly on the hard little button and making her thump her head back against the door. 

Dean wrapped his hand easily around the back of her neck and pulled her head forward again, pulling her gaze to his. “Look at me, Y/N. I wanna see the look in your eyes when you fall apart this time, wanna watch the pleasure explode across your beautiful face as you come.”

With two more twirls of his finger against her, he got his wish and Y/N couldn’t stop the loud cry of pleasure that erupted from her as she climaxed. She closed her eyes briefly when she came,  but opened them again quickly, however, as Dean’s thrusts became sloppy and frantic. 

She clung to his shoulders and did her best to slide up and down on him, watching his face as the muscles stuttered there and he moved his hand from between their bodies to smash against the door and brace himself, as he slammed into her tight, slick body. With a guttural yell that she was sure had to echo out over even the loudest music and into the bar, she felt him pulse deep inside her, coating her walls with his thick warmth.

He stood still for a moment, both of them panting out their exertion. Suddenly the door flew open and Y/N yelped as a voice called into the bathroom from just outside the swinging door. 

“Look if you guys are done, you gotta pull your pants up and get on your way!” The gruff, annoyed voice yelled to them. “People gotta get in here to use the bathroom, and they don’t need a peep show.”

They heard the swinging door close behind him and were silent for a minute more before they both burst into laughter. In the midst of their chuckling and humor, Dean pulled out of Y/N’s body, and helped her set her clothing right before putting his spent cock back into his pants and zipping up. 

As he tried to buckle his belt, Y/N pushed his hands aside to take over the task. She smiled up at him coyly, slightly shy to ask what she wanted to.

“So, I know you and Sam have to take off tomorrow, but do you have plans for the rest of the night? Maybe we could swing by my place, and try this again, minus the bar patrons and on a really nice king sized bed?”

As she slid the leather end of his belt into the loop, he leaned down to kiss her softly, all his brute strength and raw passion seemingly tamped down for the moment as he slid his long fingers into her hair and kissed the tip of her nose before sipping at her lips once more.

“Hell yeah.” He said, echoing her earlier agreement. “I mean, yes, Ma’am.”

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

@lyarr24

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@akshi8278

@candy-coated-misery0731

@nt-multi-fandom

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2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only.

@saikosheadcanons

@lgranger67

@carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

@sunshineandwings86

@kazsrm67

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@alexxavicry

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

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[destinyc1020]

Sorry but I think you guys don't get Dom's dry British sarcasm. I doubt he could care less about which covers or fashion partnerships Tom does. My take on the abs thing was a tongue in cheek flipping of the sexualisation of women's covers, or a self-deprecating joke framed in faux jealousy about how middle aged men like him don't have abs anymore. As for Tom's London friends being basic (I think that's what that anon was implying) in contrast to the oh so cosmopolitan Hollywood set, firstly I think we all need to understand Tom knows a lot more people and is friends with a LOT more people than we know about. He knows more people than Z, Jake, Haz and Hunter. Secondly, his London friends would be like "get that Prada swag baby". They're not stupid. No one is so puritanical that they are talking Tom out of the big Zendaya and Law-driven liberation of his Little Britain ways. Sorry I honestly don't care about Dom but I think people want to hate on him because he doesnt fit the mould of a sanitised bit part in tomdaya show.

Hey Anon, no need to get your panties in a twist over the discussion on Tom's Prada campaign. I read your little not-so-subtle jabs in your post (ie. "the big Zendaya" "Law-driven liberation" "sanitized bit part in tomdaya show"). Honestly? 🤨 It's not that serious for me. 😏

For one, I as a fan would just like to focus on the awesomeness of Tom getting a PRADA deal! Hello?? 😅

Re: Dom.... Again.... I just think that Dom plays things very "safe", and that's cool... He's a 50-something year old man after all. 🤷 How that translated into me "hating" Dom I have no clue. I don't hate the man. I don't even know him! LOL 😅

Granted....Maybe you're right, maybe I just don't get his "dry British humor" (although I find many Brits to be quite funny actually lol). I'll admit, I have never belly-laughed at anything Dom has ever said (not even with a sarcastic lens), so I just don't really find him all that funny. No offense. 🤷 So sue me. That's nothing against him though. Dom is Tom's dad, and obviously he must be a pretty decent person if Tom speaks so highly of him. And he's helped to raise 4 great boys/young men who all seem to be on the up-and-up, nobody's into any craziness, none have gone off the deep end, and all seem very-well adjusted...not to mention very friendly young men. Even "the famous one" lol. 😏 Regardless of your personal feelings about Dom, that has to definitely account for something....right? 😊

I agree with you that I don't think Tom's friends (or family) would be laughing at him for getting this PRADA deal. I meant to add that to my last post but I forgot. I definitely don't think they would be clowning him for that. I think they're all ecstatic for him honestly! (Dom included!) This is a huge deal! Plus, Tom is getting paaaiiiid many times over, so it's definitely no laughing matter. Unless of course, you're laughing all the way to the bank lol. 😅🤣

Anyway, you don't have to turn this into some America vs Britain thing... My original point in my previous post was simply that parents eventually have to learn that their children are adults, and they may do things that they personally wouldn't do (or would advise against), but at the end of the day, the children aren't the parents. 🤷 That's pretty much all my point was. And my point in bringing up Tom's industry friends was simply that he has people who are IN Hollywood and IN the industry who can also give him advice and help him to see many facets to things that perhaps some of his friends back in London (who aren't famous) might not be able to provide. That was it. No need to take things so seriously or try to make undercutting jabs at Tomdaya, Law or Zendaya imo.

[ledzeppelinss]

hi hello i’m back again to ask for a 🎃 with the maze runner and happy halloween in like, less than six hours

Jen… the ideas i have for this

the brain rot

starting with where you guys are meeting: this was a long conversation filled with arguing, bickering, and stupid questions from both thomas and minho

but it is decided that all of you are going to newt’s house to meet up and start from there.

i see you as going as o-ren ishii from kill bill and being a complete badass

newt is dressed as napoleon dynamite and let me tell you he would look so cute despite the idiocracy behind napoleon dynamite

like the glasses on newt >

thomas and teresa do a play on their names with Thomas being Thomas the tank engine and Teresa being Teresa Caputo: Long Island medium.

everyone taking turns pretending to hope on the train piece Thomas brought

minho is a complete idiot (as well know by now) and will dress as captain america just to show off his body in the suit.

but he wont call himself captain america it is always captain asian american

and he would act completely different from steve (aka; he won’t stop with the dirty jokes)

“that‘s what she said 😏”

“minho, for the love of god”

frypan is snoop dog and i take no debates here

gally is anakin skywalker and him, teresa, and minho act out the scene from revenge of the sith

“annie… you’re hurting me”

“you were my brother anakin!! i loved you”

“I HATE YOU”

rounds of applause from everyone else

you guys definitely use pillowcases as bags to collect candy in

minho shamelessly flirting with all the girls he sees

** flexes bicep **

“hey ladies, wanna be the peggy to my steve?”

more of them ending up flirting with newt and all you have is gally laughing with tears in his eyes at Minho’s face

“that’s rough buddy”

“shut up gally”

frypan taking more candy than necessary and saving you some so you have a shit ton of candy towards the end

thomas letting you piggy back ride so it looks like you’re riding a really deformed train

wearing newt’s glasses

minho getting in trouble for getting into an argument with a 10 year old who said his costume was stupid

Thomas and newt having to physically restrain him

Teresa and you trying to nail the long island accent and in the end frypan is the one to get it perfectly

“iM tEResA cAPutO lOnG iSlANd mEdIUm”

newt being the dad of the group ™️

my brain rot is done because im tired but ;)

[nerdygirlwithanxiety]

Will stood there looking at his dear friend sitting on his bed bleeding and cover in bruises trying to process everything that happened the things he witnessed "* what the hell was that..how long was he hiding those..those ears and that tail...is he...a faunus...if he is what the hell is he?... Anthony what is going on...Why would you hide this from me? I thought we agreed not to keep shit from eachother*" was the thoughts running through his head before " You got questions...I can tell by your face " broke his thought " I- uh...its just ..." will gulp slightly then groan " what the hell was that!? How long were you hiding your adorable ears? Are you a faunus!?" Split through his mouth. Anthony rolled his eyes and sigh annoyed knowing this was coming " Me defending and protecting you, about..a month proximatly, and I'm not a faunus I'm a...I don't even know what the fuck I an anymore " he answered before he look down with an mixture of an upset and pissed off look. Will just stood there confused and concern as he slowly reached out " h..hey uh.." he gulp. Anthony looked back " hm?" Cheek marks began to glow a light blue. Will sigh softly and sat down by him and resting his head on Anthony's shoulder " thank you..." he said softly holding his hand. Anthony smile softly squeezing the blonds hand gently " for you? Anything snookums...but promise me one thing" the punk whisper " hm?" Will look back seeing Anthony's smile " DONT be stupid again and trying to pick fights that you're not sure you're getting into...Deal?" Anthony wink making will laugh " yeah..ok I promise not to pull that crap again" and for the rest of the night Anthony and will relaxed in the bedroom joked around and watched a movie.

Credits; picrew. I've gotten really hooked using the websites and is actually helping me getting ideas?? Oh and if I'm not online over the weekend it's because my man is here. I'll definitely be on insta going on live tho! We're gonna play dangaronppa and other stuff 😏