#Henry and sam
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I feel a knot in my stomach
#bella ramsey is on their way to collect all the awards#tlou#the last of us hbo#ellie williams#joel miller#the last of us#riley abel#henry and sam#tess servopoulos
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After further thinking about this scene, what continues to break my heart is the way Joel tried to run to Ellie after Henry takes the gun and Samâs on top of Ellie trying to kill her. He realizes he doesnât have the gun, and he doesnât care. He was ready to give it everything he had, to pull infected Sam off of Ellie with his bare hands, even though heâs not immune, even though he could get bit, he was ready to wrestle infected Sam with his bare hands to get him off of his Ellie.
#tlou spoilers#the last of us#joel the last of us#the last of us spoilers#tlou#joel miller#Pedro pascal#Bella Ramsey#joel and Ellie#Ellie the last of us#henry and sam
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Endure and survive. This show keeps breaking me đĽ˛
#the last of us#tlou#tlou fanart#tlou hbo#keivonn woodard#sam and henry#henry and sam#fan art#digital art#sketch#applenunez#illustration#drawing#apple nunez#character art#endure and survive
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Something very unique about the Last of Us is the way it handles character death and extreme tragedy in a remarkably respectful way.
Pop culture in this current moment is all about who can explore the darkest topics and depict violence in the most provocative way. (I am specifically looking at you, Game of Thrones and Euphoria!)
Even though the Last of Us is an HBO show, the people behind the series grant their characters a level of respect that most donât.
Bill and Frank avoid the all-too-common âBury Your Gaysâ trope and live sixteen beautiful years together. When the time is right, they go out on their own terms and the camera grants them dignity in death by not panning to their dead bodies at the end of episode 3.
We also never see Sam after he is shot by his own brother; we only need the blood splatter to let us know what happened. And instead of portraying a gratuitous suicide scene, we instead focus on Ellie and Joelâs reactions when Henry takes his own life.
The best example is probably the ultimate fate of Riley being kept offscreen in the latest episode. The last time we see Riley and Ellie together, they believe they are both going to die and pledge to do it together, on their own terms. Of course, the viewer knows Ellie is immune and had to defend herself from an infected Riley SOMEHOW, but guess what? We donât have to know. Did they ever get another kiss? What were their last words to each other? We donât know. The girls get to have privacy in their final moments together, and itâs perfect.
In summary, I really love that the camera respects the characters of this show and allows us to linger on their best moments instead.
#joel miller#ellie williams#the last of us#bella ramsey#david tlou#ellie last of us#ellie tlou#joel last of us#joel tlou#last of us hbo#left behind#pedro pascal#riley tlou#the last of us spoilers#tlou hbo#bill tlou#frank tlou#henry and sam#henry tlou#sam tlou
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THE LAST OF US 1.05 â endure and survive
#the last of us#the last of us hbo#tlouedit#tlouhboedit#tlounetwork#tloudaily#tvedit#tvgifs#userconstance#usernastya#useralii#tusercora#henry and sam#my gifs
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tell me you didn't think that the moment Sam died, Ellie was going to run right into Joel's arms while Joel was already halfway to her ready to hold her in his arms and say 'im sorry' for all the things so far cuz damn this moment was so fucking real and the night before had shook him so much. and he'd keep on saying between I'm sorry and its okay and I've got you. all of this if Henry hadn't stopped him.
now think Joel slowly making his way to a very hurt and shocked Ellie who just kept on looking at Henry's dead body. he approached her like she was a wounded animal, his damn kid who was so hurt and witnessed something like this. she is just a fucking kid. so he presses her to his side for just few seconds for both of them and does the next best thing. he tells her we have to bury them. cuz he knows that she needs it, it's kind and she needs it so much. and for her he needs it too.
#the last of us#series#the last of us show#the last of us series#tlou hbo#joel miller#ellie williams#joel and ellie#pedro pascal#bella ramsey#hbo tlou#hbo#henry and sam#henry tlou#sam tlou
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SARAH IN THE MIRROR?! BILL AND FRANKâS WINE?!
IG: @justralphy
#the last of us#joel miller#pedro pascal#tlou#ellie williams#hbo the last of us#the last of us hbo#bella ramsey#joel tlou#ellie and joel#tlou art#tlou fanart#tlou spoilers#tommy tlou#bill tlou#tlou frank#tlou tess#tess servopoulos#bill and frank#henry and sam#tlou hbo#tlou2#ellie tlou#tlou fluff#tlou angst#tlou part 2#justralphy#merry christmas#sarah miller
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The artist is @canaryyblue on Twitter.
#the last of us#tlou art#ellie williams#joel miller#sam burrell#henry burrell#joel and ellie#ellie and sam#henry and sam
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And if there's a reason I'm still alive when so many have died, I'm willing to wait for it.
(insp.)
#tlou#tlouedit#tlou edit#the last of us#the last of us edit#tlou hbo#tlouhbo#tlouhboedit#tlou hbo edit#tvedit#mygifs#hamilton#joel miller#ellie williams#bill and frank#henry and sam#riley abel#tess servopoulos#sarah miller#gifset#tlou gifs
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Genesis
chapter three
summary: you begin the journey across the country with two adults who couldnât hate you more.
Marlene handed you over to them without hesitation. Take her, she yelled, getting away before FEDRA showed up. Get her there, Joel!
Now, Joel is a man you decide to be in his late forties, with greying hair, and a pissed-off-donât-talk-to-me look about him. Heâd looked at you with nothing but distain the second Marlene hauled off.
Hereâs how it went:
âSheâs immune, Tess. Noâlisten! I know what youâre thinking, but Iâve seen it. Iâve watched her for a week. Sheâs immune.â Those words meant nothing to Tess, a woman near Joelâs age, with also greying, brown hair and a piss-me-off-and-Iâll-kill-you look about her. Theyâre a team, this Joel and Tess. Theyâre going to take her across the country and hand her over to them when they arrive, them, being Marleneâs team.
âDo you have a clue whatâs out there?â Joel spat, waving his gun around. Slight exaggerationâhe waved it. Marlene pressed her hand against her stomach, against the blood bulging out there, breathing deeply.
âOf course I do! But, do this for me, and you can have whatever supplies you want for however long you want. I promise. Youâll have no trouble from us. Weâll help you outâthe Fireflies; if you need protection, we willââ
âYeah, alright, Marlene,â Tess scoffed. She paced the rotting hall, floorboards creaking, all the while the sound of FEDRA got closer. She stopped short and shared a look with Joel. Neither of them had spoken to you, like you were invisible, an imaginary thing they could only talk about. âWhat are you thinking?â
Marlene huffed. Your head turned like a ping-pong ball, this way and that, between the three adults. âYâall talk it out, but remember Iâm bleeding here!â
The pair talked amongst themselves for a few seconds, in a corner of the hall, voices hushed. Finally, just as the flashing lights arrived through the grimy windows, Tess strolled over, picking up your knife from the floorâyou had unsuccessfully tried to stab Joel. Feral, he had called you, you want us to take this feral kid?
âWe get all the guns we want,â she declared. âAccommodation when we need it, and food, medication. We get this kid there unharmed, and we have a deal. Agreed?â
âYes!â Marlene snapped, rolling off her leaning stance against the wall. âCan we go before weâre hanged?â
âWhat?!â You shrieked. Even now, you remember the way Tess had looked at you: like you were one of the decaying infected out behind the walls. âIâm not going with them! Marleneâ!â These people were strangers, and clearly thugsâtrading you for guns.
Her eyes pleaded with you, weak, and walking backward to the exit. âIâll meet you on the other side, alright? Now go!â Cops began yelling outside. âTake her! Get her there, Joel!â
Tess snatched your elbow with a strong grip, fingers digging in hard. She pulled you along, through a gap in the wall you hadnât seen. âGet down the ladder. Move.â
âFuckinâ Marlene,â Joel grumbled above you, climbing down after you, marshmallowed between the two adults. â âS exactly what we need. Where now?â
âBack to the apartment,â Tess demands. âWeâll figure it out there.â Tess is strong of tone and sure of herself, and itâs intimidating. Joel is harsh-toned and refuses to look at you, which might be worse. Either way, youâre feeling pretty intimidated by these adults.
Town is crawling with cops, even more than usual. Theyâre raiding the building and the ones around it forcing people out into the thunderstorm raging overhead, even the kids. The sky is dark, plummets of rain forcing down on everyoneâs heads. Tess and Joel crouch by the staircase of which youâve emerged by, looking left and right before Joel runs across, straight into an alley opposite. He holds against the wall and peers out, before gesturing for Tess to follow. She snatches your wrist and gets to her feet, looking around as you run. Her longer strides yank you along at an impossible speed, and if she wasnât holding on tight, you would have tripped from the get-go.
They seem to know their way easily. Up the rusty steps of a fire escape stairwell, through that door at the top and round a block of apartments, down, down, down until youâre back on the ground floor. Then itâs across another street, through barbed-wire topped alleyways, until theyâre slowing, ducking into an apartment block. The hallways are covered in wilting wallpaper, and dirty hardwood. Some people are home, voices floating through their apartment doors. Tess has long since let you go, so you opt for trailing after them up the stairs to the third floor, all the way to the end of the hallway, to a door on the right. Tess unlocks the beaten door with a set of jingling keys, pushing it open.
âGet in,â she orders, so you trudge between the adults into the apartment, where the door swings shut behind you. Instantly youâre on guard.
âHey!â You try the handle, giving the door a strong pull, to no availâsomeoneâs holding it on the other side. You drop your hand and press your ear to the door, trying to listen to them. All you get is muffled wordsâvoices low.
You take the time to look around. Itâs small. The wallpaper is floral and fadedânot something youâd have imagined people like Tess and Joel to have in their home. A slouchy sofa sits by the window, a side table beside it and a coffee table opposite. In the adjoining kitchen are the typical, worn cupboards in nearly every facility in the Zone, a table and chairs set neatly in the middle. Curtains, a painted butterfly in the window, and a couple of pictures standing on the window ledge: Tess and a little boy. Joel and another man. None of Tess and Joel together, which you think is relatively strange.
The door open jolts you back into the living room. Itâs Joel, only Joel, rubbing his forehead like he has a headache.
You hesitate before you speak. âWhereâs Tess?â
Joel ignores you, sitting down on the sofa and leaning his head back.
âWhen are we leaving?â
âI donât know.â Hm. Progress.
âWhat are we doing now?â
âWaiting.â
âWell, what am I supposed to do?â
âFigure it out.â
You huff, turning in a circle for something to do. Joel appears to fall asleep, and you wave a hand in front of his face daringly, testing a response. He doesnât budge.
The shelf holding papers and books looks interesting. You take a slim one from the end, American Woman. At first itâs good enoughânew books are always good at first. But it soon proves boring, and you dump it back where you found it. Itâs still drizzling outside, and the sky is darkening with nightfall instead of thunderclouds, by the time Joel wakes and Tess returns.
âYou got a coat in that pack?â She asks you, and you nod your head. âGood. Itâs time to go.â
She and Joel spends a few minutes throwing things into their backpacks, things from the kitchenârations, bottles of water, the pictures and things from the bedroom and bathroom. You canât fit your whole life into bags, so when theyâre not looking, you take some memorabilia from here, too, to remember your pit stop: the butterfly in the kitchen window, a book. Your own belongingsâthe small amount of things you ownâare in there, too, stolen from your dormitory after Marleneâs group caught you. Your hairbrush, the water bottle from the night, your necessities. There are a couple of tees and leggings, too, and a book of your own, and finally your precious Walkman. The only things you own. Ironically, a Firefly also shoved in your grey hooded jacket, lettered in gold: FEDRA TRAINEE. Because thatâs what you are. You donât doubt they didnât take it for what youâre training to become, though, and more for warmth. In a few weeks the temperatures will fall even further.
Tess is fumbling around in the bathroom while Joel sits waiting on the sofa, elbows on his knees, silent. He hasnât looked at you still, and itâs grinding on your anxious nerves. Youâre going beyond the walls of the Zone. This wonât be like exploring with Rudy, where your biggest threats are gangs and older men. No, out there, your biggest threat is also the source of all your confusion.
âWeâre gonna be okay out there, right?â Your words cut through the silence like a knife. Joel opens his eyes, blinking at the wall next to your head. âI mean, youâve done this before, havenât you? So weâre gonna be okay.â
Finally, those empty eyes land on your own. He doesnât speak for a second, just searching your face. Then he sighs through his nose slowly and nods his head. âYeah.â
That one word is enough of a prompt to get you to your feet, abandoning the arm of the chair. Thunder cracks and rumbles in the distance; you turn your head to watch at the window.
âAlright,â Tess strolls in. âTime to go.â
Youâve shrugged on your FEDRA trainee jacket and pulled up the hood, laying on the thin black coat Marlene dug up from somewhere for you. There wasnât much need for proper coats at the school: you never left the walls of the building unless on a guided walk by the guards, and even that was rare. The times you slipped out around the Zone were only because Rudy had the guts to go and drag you with him. In the winter, Rudyâs inquisitive nature was a curse.
Tess leads the way down the apartment block with Joel calling out questions to her, that have no real meaning to you: exit round the back or the slow way? should we drop by the South end first?
FEDRA presence is still very, very strong. Theyâre storming the streets, even in this awful rainstorm, their radioes blaring directions and muffled tones from the headquarters. Tess stops by the front door and turns her head this way and that before she sets off with a hand to the hood of her jacket. For a second, you watch as the rain bounces off of it like pelts, until Joel shoves you firmly in the back with a strong hand, almost winding you. You trail after Tess with a hammering heart, wishing somebody were here to save you. What would they do, really, if you approached a FEDRA officer and explained you were being smuggled across the country by two random strangers? But then, you would have to explain why you were being smuggled by two random strangers, and it wouldnât end well.
âKeep your head down,â he mutters, jogging after you. âFollow Tess.â
Itâs easier to do as he says, though everything in you is screaming to yell back. Tess is almost a blur of khaki as she zips through streets and people, until you reach a barren area full of wilting, soggy boxes. You donât ask where you are, and donât have much chance to, before Tess is crouching and yanking on a drain cover. She looks up to Joel, eyes falling to you, and back again.
âIâll head down first,â she breathes, ditching the dirty cover. âGet a look at the other end. If I come back, weâre all clear, if I donâtâŚâ
Joel nods his head, expression unclear. Is that the only look he has? He guides you to the wall and youâre pliant, while he stands at the end of the street keeping watch. Youâre tempted to follow Tess anyway and avoid being stuck here with Joel any longer, but before you know it, sheâs back, lifting herself out of the drain. Joel turns.
âAlright,â she nods. âLetâs go.â
Itâs so dark, even with Tessâs flashlight. Joel digs around for one too, in his pack, and you travel between them in the cramped drain. Itâs barely big enough to crouch for you, never mind Tess and Joel. But they manage. It smells of shit and drains and dirty water, but itâs surprisingly empty, besides the odd sprinkling of moss and weeds growing. You stop and listen every few yards, before Tess waves you onward. The irrational fear of the drain being filled with water starts to become overwhelming just as you approach the decline and the raising ceiling. It leads out to a small running river, where Joel rises to his feet and stretches his strong arms above his head. His back pops and echoes. You scrunch your nose.
Tess has moss in her tied-up hair by the time she and Joel walk off down the embankment, and you wait a second to see what happens. They donât turn back around, talking only in hushed voices with a lot of hand movement. You blink, feeling slightly dejected. FEDRA wonât have you back, Marlene passed you off like a broken clock, and now the two people who promised to get you to wherever the Fireflies are, are just walking off without you. Maybe they think youâll just run after them. After all, itâs dark and youâre without a flashlight in a place youâve never been before.
And if they thought that, theyâd be right.
You sprint after them, slowing by the stream, and begin to panic as their lights disappear, turning the corner. Youâre blindly stepping up an incline, beginning to get nervous.
âTess?â You try, voice echoing. You guess youâre under some sort of tunnel, or bridge. With no answer, your heart speeds up. âTess?!â
A flashlight appears around the corner, a tall figure looking very pissed off. An annoyed Joel, waiting on you. Although Joelâs presence doesnât exactly calm your nerves, it calms a section of them, and you scurry to him like a scared kid. Which is definitely not what you are.
âMove it,â he hisses, waving his flashlight on the path. Something twangs in your chest, and you walk with your head down past the man. When you catch up, Tess is kneeling, pulling weeds and brambles away from another tunnel. She grimaces, looking down at her hands. The tunnel looks eery and grim, and you really donât want to go down there.
âAlright,â she sighs, turning her head to meet your slightly-anxious gaze. âItâs just through here. When we go through here, donât make a sound. Got it? Thereâs a lot of FEDRA on the other side tonight. If they catch us, weâre all dead. Understand?â
You nod frantically, mutely. Better to be quiet now. She hums, and holds your gaze for a second before the pair of light eyes move away.
This tunnel is arguably better, but itâs still a tunnel. By the time youâre out, youâre breathless and breathing deep, and your back is aching. You get to your feet and brush off your knees. Youâre finally outside of the Zone.
âNo fuckinâ way!â You laugh. Tess shushes you, but doesnât look angry. The three of you walk in silence, sneaking around the debris scattered here, until you turn the corner. Thereâs a bit of light coming from the wall by the Zoneâs entrance and a car engine rumbles, but so far, there are no guards this far out.
Until Tess slams to a stop, holding her arm out to stop you, too. Joel steps back, tilting his head slightly. They share a look, some form of silent communication, and then Joel nods his head, stepping out quietly. You and Tess follow him.
âHeyâhey! Stop! Fucking stop where you are!â
You freeze on the spot, gaze falling to the guard whoâs fumbling for his gun laying against the wall. Tess sighs heavily.
âHey, come on, man, just forget we were here!â
âForget it?â He laughs. By now he has his gun in one hand, and has brought out the scanner used to detect Cordyceps in the other. âHands up. Get on your knees. I said get on your fucking knees!â
You shift on your feet, looking to Tess for guidance. Sheâs visibly angry and nervous. Her eyes meet yours, looking to Joel. âJust get on your knees. Just get down.â
The three of you kneel with your hands behind your head in a line, while the guard goes to Tess first. The scanner bleeds green light, and Tess scoffs, whipping her head around to glare at him. âSeriously, man?!â
âYeah, seriously. Weâre doing this by the book. Unauthorised exit out of a Quarantine Zoneâtheyâll hang you for that.â
âLook, you let us go, weâll give you half off on the next run,â Joel bribes.
âHalf off? All off. For the rest of the fucking year.â
It beeps green at Joelâs neck, and he approaches you.
âLook, you let us do this, and letâs just forget about it all.â
The scanner beeps, and you already know what the colour will be. Determined not to let Joel and Tess kill you, you turn abruptly and knock the scanner from the guardâs hand, he yells, and reach for your knife from your pocket, digging it right in his thigh. Tess shouts something furious at you, while the guard screams in painc dropping the scanner. He dives for his gun as you get to your feet, aiming for your head, retreating in sudden fear.
Joel moves in front of you. âStop! We can talk this out!â
Heâs relentless. âMove.â The light from the gun is blinding, bright and unmoving. âI said, move.â The gun clicks, and Joel doesnât hesitate. He throws himself at the guard, the two practically wrestling. Joel gets a hit in, hard, and the guard goes down, trying to get his hands around Joelâs throat. You can hear your pulse in your ears, watching Joelâs fist go down over and over against the guardâs head, until he relents, heaving for breath with a bloody, shaking fist. The man on the ground doesnât move.
Youâre transfixed, barely able to believe what Joel has done. Itâs horrifying and gross, but Joel saved your life in doing so. Heâs staring at the man, catching his breath.
Movement on the ground behind you prompts you to step aside, heart plummeting to your stomach. Tess has picked up the scanner, and looks between the scarlet colour illuminating her face, to your own, an unfathomable look. She looks away, at Joel.
âJoel!â She calls, and you try to snatch it from her; she leans away, holding it out of your reach, showing Joel. He doesnât move, doesnât look away from the scanner showing red, a look you canât describe.
âNo,â you try. âIâm not sick! Iâm not infected!â
âJoel!â She barks, kicking the man into action.
âOh yeah?â He exclaims, taking the scanner from Tessâs outstretched hand. âThen explain this.â
âLook, I know it sounds crazy, but Iâm not sick. Believe me!â You try, flaying your hands. Tess raises to her feet, and clutches her gun, raising it level with you. âI swear! Please just believe meââ
âWhy should we?â
Thatâs when the sound of vehicles get closer, the familiar hum of FEDRA cars. Searchlights grow brighter. Tess and Joel share a look of desperation. The man reaches down and swipes you up by the strap of your backpack, pulling you along almost quicker than your feet can catch up. Tess sprints alongside, shutting off her flashlight. Youâre running practically blind, with only Joelâs guiding hand on your back to lead you in the right direction.
Somewhere in the distance, an Infected screams, and behind you, FEDRA grow closer; you have no choice but to keep going, trusting Tess and Joel with your life.
#tlou#the last of us#tlou part 1#tlou part 2#the last of us series#the last of us bro#joel miller x platonic!reader#joel miller#tommy miller x platonic reader#tommy miller series#joel miller x daughter!reader#tess servopoulos#tess servopoulos x platonic reader#henry and sam#maria miller#abby anderson#abby tlou#Kansas city#boston#joel x reader#tlou x reader#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fic#the last of us fic#the last of us x reader#Genesis
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Chapter 3 Iâd make a deal with god
Chapter 3 of Tragedy at the Millerâs
A/N- I hope you guys like the chapter
Warning- ANGST, violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter, some fluff :)
Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader
Episode- 1x05-1x06 (only the beginning)
(If you want to be tagged let me know!)
ââââ
The street was quiet. And as far as views go, it was the same way as it was in the tunnel, dark and eerie.
The stars overhead were tempting to admire, you felt grateful that you were out of the humid tunnel and breathing fresh air, but the cul-de-sac was too quiet, and you werenât actually across the river yet. You knew better than to get your hopes up too soon; just like most of what youâve learned from life, you learned that the hard way.
Yet it seems Henry and Sam donât quite get that.
Then again how could they know? The farthest theyâve gone out of the city is being in that forest. They only know a small part of what the world is like.
âNo,â Henry breaks the silence you had purposely left as you tried to make your way to the bridge. âNo one is here. No oneâs gonna be here because my plan worked.â
Your dad scoffs in annoyance, âso much goddamn talkinâ.â
You look back at Henry over your shoulder and add on too. âWeâre not across the river yet, letâs wait to celebrate then.â
âIâm just saying,â Henry continues smugly. âI delivered.â
You smirk faintly and roll your eyes to look back ahead.
âMake this right,â he points out. âGo down the street, embankment behind the last house, and weâre out.â
âSo we cross the river and then what?â Ellie asks. âWhere ya gonna go?â
You glance over at your dad, and even if it hasnât been discussed you know that thereâs no option but to travel home together now.
At least you hope thatâs what heâs thinkinâ too.
âWeâre going to Wyoming,â you share and blink to look at your dad for reassurance. âWe can go together.â
But as expected when your dad meets your gaze he remains nonchalant. He then peers back at Henry though, and seems to lookâŚunsure. âHow about we cross the river and then talk.â
You swallow thickly and look back ahead. Would this really be it?
Ellie notices his look, he reads him like you do and comments on the matter. âDonât worry heâll give in. Trust me.â
Trust her?
How long have they been together?
âThis is how it goes?â Ellie continues. âHeâs like, No, Ellie,â she begins to mock him in a deep voice, causing you to blink in disbelief before you peer back at her. âNever, ever, ever happening.â
Regardless of what uneasiness you felt by his lack of agreeance, what jealousy just sparked, you canât help but grin in amusement at her teasing.
âAnd then Iâm like,â Ellie continues in her normal voice. âIâm gonna ask you a million more times. And heâs likeââ
Before she can finish what sheâs saying, sheâs suddenly interrupted by the sound of a gunshot whizzing past your ear, and hitting the ground inches away from you.
âFuck!â Ellie screams, while you cover your ear and throw yourself to the ground, losing that smile.
âMove, move!â Your dad yells and proceeds to grab your arm to yank you off the ground, and push you and Ellie behind a rusted car.
âY/N,â you hear Henry from the ear thatâs not currently ringing. âAre you okay? Did it hit you?â
You groan and shake your head. âNoâŚno,â you pant. âJust went past me.â
âWhere fuck is that coming fromââ
âShut up,â your dad cuts Henry off now.
You pull your hand away from your ear as the ringing begins to fade, and look over at your dad peeking past the top of the hood. A gunshot then breaks a car window though, so he ducks his head back down.
âHow many?â You ask him.
Your dad shakes his head. âOne, I think. I canât be sure, not from here.â
You swallow thickly and snatch your rifle off your shoulder. You try to suggest a risky idea that comes to mind, but then another gunshot goes off and a hand wraps around your wrist instead.
âShit,â Henry panics and looks away from the shooter to try and move with Sam at his other hand. âAlright, fuck. Letâs move. Letâs go.â
Without hesitance you yank your arm back and grab his wrist instead to pull him back down. âIâm not leaving my dad. And you canât just get up like that or youâll get shot,â you scold him as kindly as you can sound. âStay down.â You then snap your eyes to your dad and share the idea you had in mind. âI can shoot them, I just need a distraction so he doesnât end up shooting me.â
A bullet hits the car youâre behind, and your dad lets his gaze linger on you as he thinks about the plan you shared.
You want him to say yes so heâd see that youâre capable, that youâve changed from that little girl he saw last time, years ago.
However, he shakes his head and sighs.
âDadââ
âIâll go,â he cuts you off before you can argue. âYou two stay here.â He directs to Ellie and yourself.
âWhat?â Ellie asks in confusion.
He turns to face Ellie now. âIf you donât move, heâs not gonna hit you,â he tells her, and then looks to you. âIâm gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then Iâll take him out.â
You shake your head and protest. âIf you go out there, heâs gonna kill you.â
âItâs dark and he has shit aim. Nobodyâs gonna kill me. Besides, I ainât putting you at risk.â
âYou just saidââ
âY/N,â he cuts you off sharply. âDo you trust me?â
You lower your shoulders from their tense position, you let your face soften from its hardened state and nod softly without as much as thinking about it.
Your dad proceeds to pull his gun out and looks to Ellie to speak to her. âIf anything happens you stick with her, got it?â
Ellie glances at you and hesitates before returning her gaze to him and nodding in comprehension. After that your dad proceeds to scurry away through the cover of night, making the person in that house try to follow him with their gun to try and shoot him.
And now, while the person is distracted you lift your head over the car's hood to finally take a peek yourself. Thatâs when you catch only one light reflecting from a window before the bullet hits the ground in front of the car. You proceed to look around at the other houses to see if there were more, but your dad was right it seems to be just one in the house straight ahead.
Just one. Your dad will be fine.
You duck back behind the car and wait. Wait in anticipation. You hold onto your pendant around your neck and wait. A few more bullets go off and hit the objects around you, you wait for them to reload and shoot again, but a longer silence follows now, letting you guess that your dad might have reached the shooter now.
You slowly lift your head and peek out, and luckily this time you see no more reflection. Yet you canât be assured that your dad has gotten to him, not until you can see him up there giving you all a sign.
However, a few seconds pass of more silence and he doesnât give you any. Instead you hear one gunshot echo, it doesnât hit anything nearby it just echoes, meaning one of two things; your dad shot the shooter, or the shooter shot your dad.
You canât think of losing him just as you reunited, so youâll go with heâs the one that shot the shooter first.
âIt seems your dad got him,â Henry interjects.
You stop fiddling with the pendant and meet his gaze with hope. âYeah,â you whisper. âI think so too. Letâs just wait until he gives a sign though.â
Henry nods in agreement, and silence follows again. Albeit the silence breaks soon thereafter with a distant scream from your dad. âRun!â
You blink in confusion, and hang your rifle over your shoulder again as you slowly push yourself up to try and get a view of him.
âRun!â Your dad yells again.
Why is he saying that?
And only seconds later is when you begin to hear the distant sounds of engines running. When you snap your eyes ahead you notice headlights down the street, getting larger the closer they get, and brighter as more than one begins to appear.
âGo! Go, go!â You bellow to the group, and push Ellie in front of you so she can get ahead of you so can you run behind her, Henry and Sam.
The closer the leading car gets, the more you hear metal clashing as cars blocking the street get shoved aside. Bullets ring against metal too as your dad tries to shoot the driver of the moving truck, and as Ellie tries to shoot back aimlessly.
You want to shoot at the driver too to at least get that car off your trail, but when you hit the trigger you come out empty since you havenât given Henry his empty pistol back.
âFuck,â you grumble. âFuck. Fuck.â
As Henry and Sam get ahead faster, you mindlessly begin to run past Ellie to try and reach the other end of the street. However, itâs at that moment that you begin to get ahead that you suddenly hear glass clash, brakes then screech before you hear a crash through one of the wooden houses.
You try to look back at the sight, you try to look back even when you hear multiple cars brake behind you, even if itâs one thing you didnât like to do while running away from dangerous shit, but you remember Ellie had fallen behind, so you look. Thatâs when you see her on the ground, and multiple people climbing out of their cars.
Itâs a fucking risk to go back especially since they all have guns, but you canât leave her behind, not even if you feel a smidge of jealousy towards her. Maybe giving her the slight cold shoulder is something that you can live with, but leaving her behind is something that would haunt you, so you quickly turn back around on your heels and sprint towards her.
She catches you running at her as she remains stunned on the ground and her eyes brighten before she pushes herself up and then runs at you.
âCome on!â You yell at her. âCome on!â
Ellie quickens her pace as best as she can, and just as you throw your hand out to reach for hers suddenly an explosion goes off at your side, and the force throws you both to the ground.
âFuck,â you cough out seconds later, and flutter your eyes open, catching a bright raging light now brighten the street. âFuck.â You snap your head up and see Ellie moving slightly. That fills you with relief over the fact that she isnât badly hurt. Or at least thatâs what it seems like.
âEllie,â you call out between pants. âEllie, are youââ
Before you can finish your question though, hands get slapped around your arms and begin to yank off the ground.
âCome on, come on,â someone muffles.
You snap your head back in a panic, but thankfully only see Henry.
âYouâre not hurt?â He asks.
You shake your head and get up to your feet. âNo, no, Iâm okay. Go, help Ellie.â
Henry nods and leaves your side to run to Ellie while you run to Sam behind a car.
âAre you okay?â Sam immediately signs to you worringly once youâre ducked close to him.
You nod quickly and redirect his question. âYou okay?â
Sam nods, and both of your gazes lift as Henry and Ellie join you ducked behind the car.
âYou okay?â You ask Ellie as she fixes herself between Sam and you.
She nods and mumbles, âyeah.â
Multiple footsteps now step closer, and commands get thrown out that make you stiffen. âHeâs up there! Two and two! Around the back, take him out!â
âFuck!â You hiss. Thereâs no way to take them out without getting caught or leaving yourself vulnerable. Fuck.
âDead end, Henry!â You hear a woman shoutâKathleen most likely. âGonna step out? Save us some time?â
Henry of course doesnât answer, so Kathleen continues.
âNo? Thatâs alright. Doesnât matter.â
You rest your head against the car and try to think of some plan to get out of this position. Yet, Henry then interjects. âIâll come out!â
You quickly snap your head over to him and shake it in protest. âNo,â you whisper. âNo, Henry no.â
Said man meets your gaze and lets his eyes linger on you. âJust let the girl and kids go!â He shouts.
You keep shaking your head in hopes heâd change his mind.
âNo,â Kathleen retorts. âSorry. The little girl is with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam, and the other girl, well theyâre with you.â
You shift your eyes away and scoff.
What the fuck?! What the fuck is her problem? Wanting to kill you, you understand, but the kids?
âYou donât understand!â Henry rebuttals.
But Kathleen doesnât listen. âBut I do,â she counters. âI know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?â
What the hell?
You shake your head and curl your lip in anger and disgust.
âHeâs just a fucking kid!â Henry yells back.
âWell, kids die, Henry,â Kathleen says without an ounce of sympathy in her tone. âThey die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That heâs worth everything? Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate.â
âGet ready to take him and run,â Henry blurts at you quietly.
You look over at him and see him looking at you. âNo,â you rebuttal. âNo.â
âY/N,â he insists. âYes.â
You try to look angry at his stupid choice, but instead you look hurt.
âHenry,â you whisper, but he then cups your cheek and cuts you off.
âPlease. Do it.â
You stare into his eyes and want to argue, you want to yell at him for wanting to risk his life like this, for wanting you to take Sam away without leaving with him, butâŚyou donât. You trust him and understand this one need, you give in for him, for the love you already harbor.
âFine,â you whisper and look over at Sam, noticing Ellie take his hand for you.
âItâs time, Henry,â Kathleen interjects. âEnough!â
You look back at Henry and meet his gaze, seeing him hesitate for a few seconds. So you reach for his trembling hand and give it a gentle squeeze. He proceeds to let his eyes linger in your hurt gaze for a moment longer before he averts his gaze, and puts his head back to pant and then whisper to himself, âokay,â before he stands up and raises his hands while he slowly steps towards the aggressor.
âIt ends the way it ends,â Kathleen says after a few seconds of silence, and cocks her gun before she shouts another command. âGrab the girl heâs with too, I want him to see her die.â
You gasp and freeze since you know she only means you.
âNo!â Henry shouts. âWait, no! Not her! She had nothing to do with it! It was just me!â
Footsteps begin to approach, and your heart begins to race, your hands begin to shake, but you put on a brave face and roll your eyes to the side to glare at the rugged man approaching you.
âTouch them and Iâll kill you,â you grimace.
The man tries to grab you, but you stand up by yourself and step away from him. âDonât you dare,â you snap and raise your hands.
âCome on,â the man orders and points the gun forward.
âNo,â Kathleen adds now as you get forced to stand by Henry. âShe might have not had anything to do with it, but you care about her.â
You drift your eyes to Henry, and end up meeting his angry and worried gaze.
âItâs okay,â you mouth to him with an assuring look and smile. âItâs okay.â You drift your gaze back to Kathleen and shoot her an unbothered glare.
Thereâs only one man next to you, the others are standing a bit too far to react too fast. They wouldnât let one of their own die would they? They cared so much about the one person your dad killed, soâŚ.
Quickly before anyone can react to you, you fist your left hand, and quickly swing your fist up to punch the manâs forearm to make his aim fall from your head.
âWait!â you hear Kathleen yell as guns point at you now.
You then quickly spin around and ram your fist in his throat to leave him incapacitated while you snatch his gun from him, and then use your foot to swing it under him to sweep him off the floor.
When the guy hits the ground you instantly point his gun at his head, and step on the back of his hand before slowly glaring up at Kathleen.
She looks stunned, so you take this time to look over at Henry, catching his own shocked and awed look.
âCome close and Iâll shoot him,â you threaten all of them. âYour revenge canât mean more than your manâs life now does it?â You taunt Kathleen with a sly smirk.
Kathleen moves her gun to point at you and parts her lips to say something, but she then cuts herself off as the sound of rubble and creaking metal steals everyoneâs attention, including Henryâs and yours.
At first it doesnât seem like much, just the ground beneath the truck crumbling due to the explosion. But itâs from that same hole that the truck falls into that lets out the sound of distant groaning and growling. InfectedâŚ.
You remove your foot off the man under you and help up so he can run away. You then snap your head over to Henry, and he meets your gaze to share a knowing look since no one can deny the sounds.
Yet before either of you can run away dozens, no, hundreds of infected climb out from the ground and donât waste a second to charge at everyone that is formed in front of the hole. They all try to shoot at the runners and the clickers that charge at them, but thereâs too many, too many overwhelm them immediatelyâItâs so many of them climbing out of the ground.
Youâve seen hordes before, youâve run from dozens of infected before, but never like this, never from oneâs running out of a fire pit as if they were spawn out of hell.
The sight freezes you out of fear, leaves you vulnerable, until Henry runs at you now that the men focused their attention away from him and you, and breaks you from your stupor.
âCome on!â He yells, and you both run to the kids still ducked behind the car.
âYou have my gun, I have the manâs,â you tell Henry as you duck and hide with the kids. âTake Sam and go, Iâll take Ellie and be right behind you.â
Shooters approach the car youâre hidden behind and begin shooting at infected climbing on the car. More fall at your side as bullets come from the house where your dad is in. And before long, as more infected approach, you all bolt away from behind the car to run to your dad.
However, more infected swarm the area and get in your way, so you lose sight of Henry and Sam quickly as they donât stop running. You on the other hand use the manâs gun and shoot at the clickers and runners that charge at Ellie and you.
âGo!â You yell at Ellie. âGo, I have you covered!â
Ellie runs on ahead, and you kill any threats that are near her. Once thereâs no infected ahead of you, you follow after Ellie as she runs towards a van nearby that has a window slightly opened.
A clicker closeby hears her running footsteps however and tries to charge at her, but you quickly stop in your steps to shoot it and then move the aim to shoot the other infected that can be a possible threat.
âIâll open the door for you!â Ellie yells back as she approaches the car.
You watch her get inside through the window, and immediately more infected try to reach her through the windows; they pound and claw. You clear as many of them as you can until your bullets run out and you have no choice but to throw the gun out and use your own rifle.
Yet that has few bullets in it too, luckily your dad helps you take out as many as he can around the car and you, while Ellie crawls to the door to try and open it for you from the inside. And when you turn to grab the door handle, suddenly a stalker tackles you down to the ground.
âOof.â You breathe out as you slam to the ground, and end up losing your gun.
The stalker tries to bite down at you, but you quickly throw your head to the side, and throw your hands up to keep it away. You want to kick it back and use your knife, but then a bullet goes through its head and it falls limb, letting you crawl back away from its corpse. You then look up at the window and give your dad a thankful nod.
He nods back, so after that, before more infected come and swarm you, you get up and find your gun first, before you face the car to get Ellie.
Neverthless, at that moment as you turn you notice a different kind of infected. Itâs larger than others, tall, and plump. It has fungus coming out of its head like a clicker, but this one also has fungus growing out of its entire body. ItâsâŚterrifying. Itâs fucking horrifying, but you donât freeze this time, you canât. You just push its presence to the back of your head and face the car again. Thatâs when you see a child clicker climb in the same car Ellie is hiding in.
You know your dad has you covered from any infected around you, so you quickly throw the door open and hastily help Ellie out of the car as the clicker flips over the seats to try and reach her.
âCome on!â You urge her after you close the car door. âWeâre almost there!â You grab her wrist to run towards your dad together, but she quickly stops you and points out.
âItâs Sam and Henry!â
You follow where she points to, and see the both of them under a car trying to kick away the clickers that are trying to grab them. However, thereâs too many infected in your way, too many for you and Ellie to take down without getting swarmedâŚ.
Wait! Thatâs right...
You look up at your dad at the same time Ellie does, and you both speechlessly ask him to cover you with your looks alone.
Heâs hesitant at first, but he gives you both an assuring nod, letting you both then run towards Henry and Sam.
âYou help Sam, Iâll get the one on Henry!â You tell Ellie as you maneuver past bodies of the infected your dad was killing in your path.
âOkay, yeah!â She replies through pants.
You narrow your eyes on the clicker that has Henry by his feet, ignoring the car that races past behind you and quickening your pace to get closer.
Just as you approach Henry, the clicker drags him out of hiding, it wants to bite him, but you quickly lift your rifle and shoot it right in its head, killing it.
âCome on,â you tell Henry urgently as you help him to his feet. âYouâre okay,â you assure him before you turn on your heels, noticing Ellie managed to get the clicker off Sam, but she canât stab her knife deep enough to kill it. So you lift your gun and help her kill it, letting her then help Sam off the ground.
âGo, go!â You yell at everyone.
Quickly, before more infected can come towards you, you all bolt towards the house your dad is inside of. You climb up the yard hand in hand with Henry, youâre close to getting out, but then Kathleen stops you all.
âStop!â
Henry pushes you all back behind him to block you all from her gun, but you still raise your rifle to try and use your last bullet on her.
Albeit thatâs when you notice the child clicker from before sneaking up from behind her, and lower your gun instead. Kathleen blinks in confusion, and follows everyoneâs line of gaze. But, she notices the clicker too late and it tackles her to the ground before she can react.
It hits her repeatedly, and overpowers her, all she can do is scream.
As bad as she was, that fate is still horrible.
âThis way now!â You hear your dad yell, breaking everyone from their shock. You then look over at him in shock and watch him pushing Ellie and Sam towards the bridge just behind the houses.
âMove!â He yells and turns you around so you can keep moving behind Henry. He follows last, making sure no one or nothing follows you from the bloodbath that was now the cul-de-sac.
ââ
*LATER*
âPewâŚpew. As the Raven 01 approaches the red planetâŚ.â
You put the paper your food was wrapped in down and drag your feet back against your chest to continue listening to Ellie reading with Sam.
Compared to all the terrified screams, all the infected growling and groaning, all the gunshots, and burning flames that had filled your ears on your way to the motel, listening to her read in the silence of night was calming and peaceful.
âYou think theyâll be okay?â Henry asks out loud, breaking the silence that was between him, your dad and you.
âYeah,â your dad nods. âI think.â
You hug your legs and look over at him as he continues.
âItâs easier when youâre a kid anywayâŚ.â He pauses and glances at you before looking at Henry. âYou donât have anybody else relying on you. Thatâs the hard part.â
Being scared isnât easy, not knowing how to help because youâre young isn't easy, but heâs also right.
âWell,â Henry interjects. âI guess weâre doing a good job then.â
Your dad nods softly in agreement, and you canât help but smile down at your knees since they seem to be getting along more now.
âWhatâs that comic book say?â Your dad asks. âEndure and survive?â
You lift your gaze to look at the Savage Starlight comic book Sam and Ellie are reading, and scoff softly before you nod. âEndure and survive,â you repeat.
âThat shits redundant,â Henry retorts, making you smile in amusement.
âYeah,â your dad agrees. âItâs not great.â
You shake your head and laugh softly. ���No.â
Savage Starlight was a comic book you often saw lying around, but you never got into them so much. You always enjoyed more of uhâŚromance, some horror, thrillers, comedy, and fantasy.
âLook, Henry,â you hear your dad continue, making you snap your eyes to him and sit up as youâre filled with curiosity. âI donât know exactly how Iâm gettinâ to Wyoming. Iâm probably walkinâ. But you know if you want to.â
Your smile grows wider, and your gaze grows softer as you understand your fathers invitation to Henry.
âYeah,â Henry agrees. âYeah. Yeah, I think itâd be nice for Sam to have a friend. Iâll tell him in the morning. New day, new start.â
Youâre filled with joy now, and that fear of rejection washes awayâŚ.
At least you hope your dad is also referring to you.
âWhat about me?â You interject to double check. Even if you might know the answer.
Your dads eyes snap to you and he scoffs before he retorts. âHow do you think weâre getting there?â
You smirk and then glance at Henry sitting on a table beside you to share a soft smile with him.
âI donât why you had to ask,â your dad mumbles.
You then look at the kids, and notice Sam fiddling with the pendant you had given him.
âJust makinâ sure,â you say and drag your legs down. âMaybe yâall wanted to leave me behindâŚ.â WaitâŚyou catch that comment the moment it comes out. Itâs wrongâŚit seems like a jab directed to your dad, but you didnât mean it that way.
You snap your eyes over to him in hopes he didnât take it that way, but you canât tell, heâs looking away, his lips are formed in the same serious line. Fuck. FuckâŚ.
Letâs just hope he didnât take it badly.
You swallow thickly and look ahead, noticing Henry in the room with the kids, and Sam still holding the pendant. So choosing to just brush off your concern so as to not overthink about it, you get up and walk in the room, seeing Sam walk to the other bed now.
âGoodnight,â you sign to him as he notices you walk in.
He offers you a faint smile and redirects your comment. âGoodnight.â
Henry walks back in the room, and before you can follow him you check on Sam since he was holding the pendant. âAre you feeling okay?â You question him.
Sam nods in assurance, but you can notice his frown and aâŚsad look in his eyes.
âAre you sure?â You press.
Sam nods again. Perhaps it was just the events of tonight then.
âOkay,â you continue to sign to him. âNo story tonight?â
Sam shakes his head. âTomorrow,â he signs back.
You smile and nod in agreement. âSounds good,â you sign. âGoodnight.â
Sam offers you a faint smile as a response, and before you can leave the room you glance over at Ellie and offer her a very faint smile thatâs a bit forced. Maybe sheâll grow on you soon enough. Once your dad explains why theyâre traveling together. Hopefully.
Anyway, once you close the room door behind you, rather than sitting back down, and since there was no other room in this curtain room youâre camping in. And since you donât want your dad hearing your conversation with Henry, you meet your partner's gaze and point to the exit.
Henry doesnât seem to understand though, so you point to the door again. But nothing.
You roll your eyes and just break the silence. âIâm going to get some fresh air before bed.â You nod slowly, and before anyone can say anything you make sure you have your knife with you before you walk over to the door, and push the table thatâs blocking the exit to the side before walking out. Hopefully, Henry understands, and hopefully your dad doesnât walk out. As funny as that would be, itâs not who you want to talk to.
Regardless, as you wait you lean against the railing and look up at the shining stars painted on the night sky. You smile up at them and watch them twinkle. The door opens, and you quickly peer back, seeing Henry walk out. Thankfully.
âHey,â you greet him in a whisper.
He closes the door and walks to your side first before returning a greeting. âHey.â
You look back at the sky and continue to watch the stars. âYou know thereâs a way to navigate around using the stars.â You share with him.
Henry hums. âI didnât know,â he says. âDo you know how to?â
You nod and drop your gaze to look at him, noticing he was already looking at you. âYeah, I do,â you admit.
Henry smiles and scoffs. âOf course you do.â
You laugh softly. âWell itâs kind of convient you know, very helpful..â
âIs that why you like to stare at them all the time?â He asks.
You let out a small breath and shake your head. âNo. I just like to watch them, itâs fascinating really; space, all of it.â
Henry hums and averts his gaze, he grabs the rusted railing and brings a short silence.
You notice his smile faltering, so you quickly probe. âWhat is it?â
Henry gently hits the wood and lifts his gaze to meet yours. âThank you,â he says. Again. âWhat you did back there, to that guyâŚâ he swallows thickly and goes shy. âNo one has ever done that before. You know usually when things go down like that people scatter to protect themselvesâŚIâm guilty of that, but youâŚâ he pauses and his eyes soften, whilst you now feel caught by surprise. ââŚyou stuck around all three times,â Henry continues. âYou shouldn't have, but you did, and you saved me and Sam. Thank you.â
Your smile widens and trembles, and your heart races inside your chest, but you grab his hand and offer him a soft look. âYou were worth it,â you redirect sweetly. âAll of it. And when itâs worth it thereâs nothing I wouldnât do to protect the ones I love.â
Henry looks caught off guard for a few seconds, but he quickly manages to shoot you a smile before he cups your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. A sweet and passionate one that makes you wrap your arms around his neck. That lets you move in sync with another, and makes you press yourself against the wall next to the door.
Henry seems to be taken back by your passion, but he just smiles and goes with it, letting himself get swept up by you. The only reason you pull back is to catch your breath.
âYou know I think you were right,â he says between pants. âI think your dadââ
âPlease,â you cut him off and press your finger against his lips. âDonât talk about my dad,â you whisper and giggle. âNot right now.â
Henry snorts and nods. âRight,â he mumbles, letting you drop your hand back to your sideââbut we should get some sleep, I imagine we have a long day of walking tomorrow.â
You smile sweetly and lean in to whisper against his lips. âYeah I know, but why not stay out here a while longer, hm? Maybe find a more discreet place to go take this further.â
Henry gapes and blinks rapidly. âI,â he breathes out and shakes his head.
You grin and cup his jaw. âItâs okay if you donât want to,â you assure him. âIâm fine just being with you here.â
Henry shakes his head again and quickly throws out his response, âNo I want to, I do. Do you?â
You grin softly and press your hand against his chest, feeling his heart racing.
âDonât worry,â you assure him as you hold his gaze. âYouâll be okay. Youâre with me.â You pull back, and drop your hand to your side to grab his, and pull him down the stairs with you. âCome on!â You grin happily.
ââ
*THE NEXT DAY*
âSarah,â you whisper and slowly walk further inside her dark room.
She hums and shifts on her bed. âHm?â
âI'm scared,â you whisper. âThereâs something in my room.â
Her bed creaks and thanks to the moonlight reflecting inside through her window by her bed, you see her sitting up and rubbing her eyes. âOkay,â she mumbles and slides over to the other side of her bed. âCome on.â
You smile with relief and run over to the bed to climb on and lay beside her.
âWhat was in your room?â She asks as she lays her head back down on the pillow.
You pull the blankets over you and flip to your side to face her. âAâŚmonster, I think.â
She smiles weakly and wraps her arm around you. âMaybe you just heard dad snoring.â She mumbles.
You sigh unsurely and watch her close her eyes to try and drift back to sleep.
âDo you want me to tell you a story?â She asks quietly.
You perk up and grin softly. âJust one,â you agree.
âOkay, wellââ
âAhh! Ahhh!â
Suddenly the dream you were having is interrupted coldly by the sound of distressed yelling that makes you gasp, and sit right up out of instinct.
However, itâs as you sit up that the door is slammed open and Ellie is thrown to the floor byâŚ.by Sam growling, groaning, and snapping his teeth as he tries to claw at her. She tries to push him off, but she canât fight him. Or she really doesnât want toâŚ
But why?
Why?
Why is he acting so violent, why is he trying to bite her? Why is making those noises?
You sit there wide eyed, frozen by horrifying fear that inside, deep inside your heart you understand why it grows so furiously. You can identify what those sounds coming out of Sam mean, youâve heard them what feels like all your life. You knowâŚBut you donât want to accept it. You donât want to accept his sudden fate.
Heâs so young, so innocent, so sweet and kind. It canâtâŚit canât be true. It canât be happening againâŚ
He canâtâŚ
âNope, nope, nope,â you hear Henry repeat, and when you look up you see him on his feet, pointing your dads own gun at him as he slowly stands up.
âJoel!â Ellie cries out.
Sam is going to bite herâŚheâs going to bite herâŚ
You try to reach for your own knife since you know youâre out of bullets. You want to help her before it takes her tooâŚyou want to help your dad and Henry, but you canât move a muscle, your fear paralyzes you as well as your denial.
You can only keep watchingâŚjust like whenâŚSarah died. You can only watch.
Henry shoots at your dad, you can hear the bullet, and his yell even after you cover your ears. You can feel it carve the ground, but that still doesnât make you move.
âJoel!â Ellie cries again as Sam doesnât stop.
Heâs going to bite her. Sam heâsâŚ
And suddenly thereâs another gunshot, but this time rather than feeling it hit the ground, you hear a thump, and then silence. Deafening silence.
Finally as Sam stays still on the floor, you slowly get up and take a step towards him. You notice the dark blood spilling out and staining the ground, you still waitâŚYou wait for him to get up. He has to. It canât be happening againâŚhe couldnât have turned. He has to wake up.
You slowly put your hands down. âSam?â You call out quietly even though you know he wouldn't have heard you either way, itâs just a desperate attempt.
âEllie,â you hear your dad call as the girl sits there in disbelief at what just happened. âAre you okay?â You hear him ask her.
You worry if sheâs bit, you want to ask if sheâs okay too, but all you can focus on is Sam, you wait if heâll move at least his chest to show heâs breathing.
Your dad tries to move toward Ellie, but he comes to a quick stop as Henry points his gun at him. Heâs just shocked, thatâs it.
Thinking he wonât do anything to you, you take another step towards Sam.
However, that's when you hear an abrupt stop. âNoâŚdonât.â
You snap your gleaming eyes towards Henry, and see him pointing his gun at you now. Your dad quickly notices his new aim, and slowly puts his arm across you to try and shield you.
Henryâs just shocked. Heâs justâŚshocked.
âEasy, easy, easy,â your dad tries to calm Henry down whilst he puts his hands out to try and grab the gun in Henryâs hand.
âHenry,â you call out quietly.
Said man's eyes drift to you, and tears immediately fill his eyes at the sight of you. âWhat did I do?â He asks you.
You try to tell him that he helped Ellie, that his brother was going to hurt her, but you canâtâŚyou canât muster a single word since youâre still in denial yourself.
âWhat did I do?â Henry asks again and keeps his gun pointed at you. âWhat-what-what did I do?â His eyes drift to his brother still on the floor, and you follow his line of gaze, realizing nowâno, accepting at that moment as he lay still, as more blood spilled out of him, that Sam was gone.
It hits you like a bullet to the flesh, so suddenly. The realization shakes your entire core, making that painful anguish that you had pushed back bust through that shield of denial.
Heâs gone. Samâs gone. He was infected and now heâs gone.
âSam?â The sound of Henryâs broken voice snaps your watery gaze back to him.
âHenry, gimme the gun?â Your dad pleads softly.
âHenry,â you call out quietly through tears. âHenry, please.â
Said manâs eyes drift to you and your dad, but he then focuses solely on you.
âGimme the gun,â your dad continues to say. âGimme the gun.â
âHenry,â you interject in a brittle voice, and take a step towards him to try and take the gun. âJust give me the gun, okay? Letâs talk.â
Henry holds your gaze for a moment and blinks before looking at Sam again. And finally he begins to lower his hand.
You try to encourage him, âyeah justââ but you cut yourself off immedietly as you see him move his hand to now point the gun at himself instead. You know what he intends to do, you yell at him to stop, but a gunshot goes off, causing you to quickly cover your ears. Yet you still hear a loud thump hit the floor.
NowâŚyou just stand there, looking at the now empty space where Henry had one stood. You stand there frozen and quiet. You stand there panting, and with dry eyes.
Your dad stands before you, he talks to you, you see his mouth moving, but you donât register his muffles that go through your covered ears because you canât accept this now. If you keep looking at the wall, itâs like nothing ever happened. If you keep your eyes on the wall you wonât have to accept it, if you stand here time will stopâŚ.
You hoped anyway. You wished.
âY/N! Look at me, baby,â you hear your dad yell at you, making you snap your eyes to him before you slowly drift your eyes down to seeâŚ.
Oh god.
Oh godâŚ.
You drop your hands from your ears, and gasp as it feels like the air in your lungs is knocked out of you at the sight of his lifeless body, at the feeling of realization slamming into you, piercing your very heart now and shattering it and your entire being.
Henryâs gone. Heâs gone just like Sam. Theyâre both goneâŚ.Henryâs goneâŚ.
But maybeâŚ
âHenry?â You call out desperately as you watch him, hoping heâll wake up. âHenry?â You call out again and step away from your dad to walk to Henry. âHenry, please,â your voice quivers as he remains unresponsive.
âHenry,â you mewl and fall on your knees beside him, on the pool of blood that now surrounds his upper body. âHenry.â You whisper and slowly reach for him to turn him face up. Thatâs when you see his lifeless eyes, the blood that now stains his face, and the tear stains on his cheeks. And it hits you again, but now itâs more powerful, more painful.
âNo,â you cry and shake your head. âNo, please Henry,â you sob and cradle his face for a moment before you cradle his body. âNo, noâŚ.â You drop your forehead on his and shakily gasp for air as you canât stop crying. âPleaseâŚpleaseâŚsomeone help meâŚ.HenryâŚdonât do this to me, please.â
A hand falls on your shoulders, making you gasp and look back.
âY/N,â your dad whispers.
âDaddy,â you mutter, âyou have to help me. Please. Please.â
âOh babyâŚâ
You shake your head as he cradles your face in his hands.
âDad,â you cry out desperately. âPlease!â
He shakes his head, and tears fill his eyes only because he sees the heartbreak in your eyes as you hold your partner's dead body in your arms.
âHeâs gone,â your dad says.
No.
No.
NoâŚ
You pull your face away from your dads hold to look back at Henry, and lay your head on his chest.
Heâs gone and thereâs nothing you can do about it. Again. Someone else is gone and you canât do anything about it. So you close your eyes and cry against him out of defeat, heartbreak, and agony.
âWe can bury them,â your dad says softly. âCome on.â
Slowly he takes his body from you, and you let him, and just sit there. He takes Samâs body soon thereafter, you canât tell when, time just loses meaning, it all blends together.
Eventually you make it outside to where your dad and Ellie had buried Henry and Sam. You donât know how, or when exactly you walked out, but feel the chilly breeze of the morning hit you, you feel the brightness burn your retinas for a moment until you grow accustomed to the brightness.
You see them no longer, only dirt over two unmarked graves. You feel only tears roll down your cheeks, and that agony in your heart as you realize youâll never see them again, you wonât go to Jackson together.
You sit between their graves and just lose your gaze on the grass brushing against the wind. You sit there cold and hopeless. You sit there even as Ellie puts Samâs board down on his grave, as you hear her speak to your dad once sheâs up and behind you.
âWhich ways west?â She asks.
Thereâs silence before thereâs retreating footsteps. You were moving on, you had to, there was no one else to wait for now, there was no one else to go with now.
âY/N,â your dad breaks the silence. âI have to tell you somethingâŚâ
You keep your eyes lost on the grass, and wait for him to continue.
âEllieâŚsheâs immuneâŚâ
Is this some joke? Some sick fucking joke?
You gasp and peer at him over your shoulder to shoot him a disgusted glare.
âDont,â you croak because of all of your crying. âDonât fucking joke.â
He stands there with a serious, deadpanned look on his face. âIâm not,â he assures you. âItâs true, I saw her get bit and she didnât turn. Do you really think I would joke about that?â
You blink in disbelief and look back at the grass ahead of you.
Joining the fireflies built a hope in you that maybe there was a chance for the world to get better. It was hard not to believe what they believed in, for a hope for humanity. A hope that couldâve saved so many lost friendsâŚthat couldâve saved Sam. So hearing this now coming out of your dads lips isnât completely unbelievable, not to you.
âThatâs why I need to take her to your uncle Tommy,â he continues. âSo he can take her to the Fireflies.â
So he? He?
As if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped on you, now youâre hit with a cold reminder, your anger towards your father. Those words he just spoke trigger it, the heartbreak you bear now only fuels it, blinding you with rage.
âSo what?â You scoff, and stand up to spin around and face him with that burning anger in your watery eyes. âYouâre going to dump another one of your burdens on uncle Tommy? Just like you did me?â
Your dad shakes his head and mutters out, âyouâre just upset. Letâs go, we can talk about it later.â
You shake your head and step towards him to continue. âI have every right to be upset! I have every right to be mad at you, you left me,â you whisper and feel angry tears now roll down your cheeks. âYouâŚyou!â You cry out and hit his chest.
âY/N,â he mutters and averts his gaze.
You swallow back the thick lump that grows in your throat and spat back. âWhy? Hm? All I ever did was love you, even if you were meanââ
âI kept you alive,â he cuts you off bluntly with his eyes barely on you.
âYes,â you scoff. âBut I still needed my dadâŚ.â Your voice quivers. âAndâŚyou still leftâŚWhy? W-was it because IâŚwas never good enough for you? Iâm sorryâŚ.Iâm sorry I wasnât the perfect daughter, Iâm sorry I wasnât strong enough then. Iâm sorry I wasnât worthy enough for you to stay with me, for you to take me with you.â You sniffle and wipe away your tears. âI'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to call me throughout all those years. I waited,â you mumble. âI did. But no.â You shake your head and wipe your tears away.
âI just hope you donât hurt that girl the same you did me,â you continue. âI hope sheâs the daughter I never was for you.â You scoff and hit your hands against your thighs.
âNo, donât say that,â he interjects. âAnd donât pit your anger against her.â
You let out a shaky sigh and tilt your head down slightly as you keep your eyes on him. âIâll take you to uncle Tommy,â you add bluntly. âBut thatâs it. Iâm done with you after that.â You shove past him and pick up your backpack and rifle off the floor. You make it to the street but stop to add one more thing as you see Ellie a few feet away waiting for you and your dad to catch up.
âI wonât pit my anger against her. I just hope you do better.â
ââ
*A MONTH LATER*
It was quiet. Not outside; you can hear the birds chirping their morning song as the sun slowly rises, you can hear Ellie shuffling on the ground restlessly. Itâs quiet inside your mind.
At first, those first few days after, your mind raced with different possibilities, denial, different outcomesâŚhopes. It was loud with anger, but now itâs quiet. Now as you hold the cold gold sun pin in your fingers your mind is just absolutely quiet, all there is is a picture of him, Henry, in your head.
Thereâs a coldness in your heart. Another gap missing that he and Sam left. It makes those nights you had to sleep, sleepless, restless. Like now. Your dad let you sleep, but you couldnât keep your eyes closed, you couldnât get thatâŚ.that scene of a month ago out of your head. Everytime you close your eyes you see Henry and Sam, see them lying on the ground with blood around them. Their deaths replay in your head over and over again until you open your eyes. So itâs easier just to stay awake and study the sun pin in the silenceâŚ.
Then again itâs not so quiet outsideâŚ.Ellie keeps moving. You flip to your other side and the first thing that you notice is your dad passed outâŚ
What a damn good watchman. Old man.
Pft.
You drift your eyes across from you and see Ellie has her back turned to you. Sheâs still for like a minute before she moves again.
Maybe sheâs thinking about them too? Because she canât be asleep with all that moving.
You havenât talked to her since it happenedâno, lies you did but it was just like a few words, âdo you want some of my food?â âDo you want to help me keep watch?â. She was always eager for both, but beside that nothing else was said. And you do know what grief is, you know how it feels, she may not have known them long, but Sam and her still bonded, their deaths were stillâŚimpactfulâŚ
Itâs not like your dad has talked about it anyway. Itâs not like he would.
âHey,â you whisper and stretch your foot out to tap her. âAre you awake?â
Thereâs a second of silence before Ellie slowly looks back and looks a bit disbelieved. âYes,â she mutters.
You spare one glance at your dad to make sure heâs still sleeping before you continue. âDo you want to go for a walk? He passed out.â
Ellie pulls down her sweater and looks down to see for herself before she meets your gaze and answers hesitantly. âSure.â
You smile softly and tuck the pin in your pocket before you get up, and very carefully grab your backpack and gun off the ground. Ellie grabs her gun and leaves her backpack where it is. As you head out she just does one more double take to make sure your dad is still sleeping, before she runs over to catch up to you heading to the windmill thatâs across the small abandoned farmhouse you were camping at for the night.
âSo,â Ellie rolls out with a slow head nod. âCan I hold your gun?â
You hold onto your backpack strap and look over at her with slight curiosity. âDo you know how to use it?â You ask her.
Ellie shakes her head. âI can be taught though.â
You hum and look back at the windmill you're walking to and give her a proposition. âHow about you can keep watch through the scope. Feel the weight first.â
âItâs better than nothing,â she groans.
You scoff softly in amusement and open the wooden door to let her walk in first, before you close the door and follow her up the creaky wooden stairs against the wall, until you reach a platform thatâs put against the window that overlooks what was once a secluded farm.
âHere,â you interject, and put your gun down to sit on your knees so you can take off your poncho and lay it on the dirty ground. âYou can sit there.â You then proceed to take off your jacket and lay it over your spot. âAnd Iâll sit here.â You mumble and sit back down.
Ellie looks down and hesitates. âWeâre already dirty anyway.â
You shrug. âBut now you wonât be cold, and youâll be comfy.â You click your tongue.
Ellie spares you a quick glance before she sits, she wants to reach for your gun, but she suddenly stops and goes wide eyed.
âOh my god,â she gasps and crawls closer to you. âYou have tattoos! No way!â She grins and studies the tattoos on your arm. âThatâs so cool.â
You smile softly, and turn your body so she can see the crescent moon tattoo shaped from curved lines; it almost looks like it was a smoke moon. She then hovers her fingers over the small stars that are scattered around the area, and then looks down at the falling angel woman. But lastly she takes her time on one in particular, a small one on your forearm.
âWhatâs this?â She asks and points to it.
You look down and giggle. âWhat did you think it is?â
Ellie scoffs and smirks. âA dick?â
You smirk. âItâs supposed to be a middle finger. My uncle Tommy and I got drunk for my 21st birthday. He wanted to give me a tattoo so he drew a hand giving the middle finger, but he, uh,â you snort. âFailed, so now I will always have a little dick tattoo.â
Ellie snickers and sits back down with your rifle in hand.
You move your arm and twist your body to show her the back tattoo. âI also have this one.â You point out.
Ellie shifts back around, and you give her a few seconds before you turn to sit back.
âThatâs so cool!â She says with a smile. âI want one.â
You glance over the golden grass and smile softly. âMy friend, she does tattoos. Perhaps when youâre older she can do something on you. Just donât get it while drunk.â
âWhy stars and a moon?â Ellie probes.
You shrug softly. âI liked it, and I like the Galaxy, the moon, everything.â
Ellie turns her head, and you see a wider smile. âReally? That's nice, I do too. Or more the aspect of going to space.â
You grin and look at her. âReally? Thatâd be cool. Like, uh,â you snap your fingers until you remember the name. âLike Sally Ride.â
Ellie's eyes go wider. âYes!â She exclaims. âExactly like her! Like if I could choose a way to die, I would die up there in space, after I flew up there of course.â
âOf course,â you mumble and stare up at the sweet colored sky as the sun slowly overtakes the night sky. âI mean it would be a very cool way to die. No oxygen, but a view of earth and the vacuum of space.â
Ellie follows your line of gaze and smiles softly as she nods slowly. âYeah,â she whispers.
Silence follows after that. Deafening, but peaceful silence.
Yet that peace soon begins to turn to gloom the more the sun rises and you remember why youâre here.
âDo you,â you interject, but pause to look down at your fingers not covered by your gloves. âDo you want to talk about what happened last month?â You canât even mention their names. Not yet. Not without it aching.
Ellie drops her gaze to focus on the fields of grass, and lets out a deep exhale before she shakes her head. âNoâŚnot really. Not yet.â
You hum softly. âThatâs alright,â you assure her. âWell Iâm here, you know, 24/7. If you want to talk.â
It may not be a lot to offer, but itâs those very words that meant a lot to you when you were told them by your uncle, Maria, or your friends. Yes, you havenât been the most welcoming, or the nicest person with her, but at first you were slightly jealous, then you were too sad, but after that argument with your dad that jealousy had faded. Call it pettiness or what not, but youâre here now, and hope that at least she knows she can talk about her feelings with you and not have to hide them or brush them off.
Heâd do that.
Nevertheless, thereâs a brief moment of quiet before Ellie mutters in a serious tone. âHere in this windmill? Because thatâs sort of inconvenient.â
You snort and break into a chuckle for the first time in a month. âYou know what I meant fucker,â you mutter between laughs.
Ellie smiles proudly and nods.
Silence comes back as you keep watch, your smiles fade, but she soon interrupts. âYou know I did have this problem last night actually.â
Your brows slowly furrow and you look at her with concern.
âI just stayed up all night wondering where the sun wentâŚthen it dawned on me.â
Your face slowly falls, and she looks over at you with a very proud smile. You let a second pass before you burst out laughing at her joke. She soon joins in and youâre both too lost laughing until your stomachs hurt.
When youâve somewhat calmed down you add one you remember. âOkay, okay.â You clear your throat. âI walked into my sister's room and tripped on a braâŚit was a booby trap.â You smirk.
Ellie shakes her head and laughs harder. âThat was stupid.â
You nod and once again begin to laugh along with her, not realizing in that moment as you were both distracted that your dad was now inside the windmill lost listening in to the both of you.
When your laughs die down you take advantage of this moment and pull your backpack to your lap to unzip it, and pull out an additional Walkman. âI feel like youâll enjoy this,â you tell her and then search your backpack for a specific cassette.
Ellie slowly puts down the rifle and watches you pull out a small plastic box.
âThe Smiths,â you mention and open the box to insert the cassette. âVery good band.â You smile and hand her the Walkman. âListen to it when you can, or when you canât sleep. Just donât lose the cassette âkay? Itâs my friends.â
Ellie hesitantly takes the Walkman and headphones. âAre you sure?â She asks quietly.
You nod. âI have my own. I had that as a spare, but you can keep it. When youâre done with that album, let me know, I can give you more music to listen to while we find more.â
Ellie slowly smiles softly, and meets your gaze. âThanks.â She whispers.
You offer her a smile, and donât realize that for that moment sharing your music as Sarah once did with you, laughing with Ellie felt the best youâve felt in a long time; you didnât feel sad, or angry. You felt good, at peace, and a sense of familiarity you havenât felt in years.
ââ
*2 MONTHS LATER*
Winter has fully embraced the earth, providing some sense of what month it can be. Between Kansas City and here youâve lost track of the days. You know with every feeling in you that Jackson is only a couple days out.
Seeing Maria, your uncle Tommy, your friends, and your house is only a couple days out. Finally!
âYou donât seriously believe them,â Ellie remarks as she stomps out of the cabin of this old couple living a quiet life in the middle of nowhere.
Which honestly isnât half bad. You only wish to grow old like them and live withâŚ.with someoneâŚ
âTheyâve lived here a long time,â your dad rebuttals as he leads the way off the property. He then stops and looks back as he hears only one pair of footsteps following him.
You then proceed to stop too and glance back, catching Ellie robbing one of the rabbits that the man that had found you killed.
âPut that back,â he tells her and then continues to lead the way.
âWhat about you, y/n, I mean youâve lived around here,â Ellie pulls you into the conversation.
You scoff softly and wait for her to catch up. âWell all Iâll say is that itâs a bunch of superstition, okay?â You tell her without giving away too much of what awaits beyond the River. âThereâs no River of death, nothinâ.â
âSo they donât know anything?â She points out and falls beside you, letting you finally continue to follow your dad. âBecause theyâve also never heard of the Fireflies.â
âItâs hard to hear much living so secluded,â you explain and look ahead, catching in that moment your dad stops and leans against a wooden pole.
Is he really that scared of some fear the old couple have? Because itâs only to scare people away, it isnât true.
Is he still tired? Heâs panting.
âJoel? Joel?â Ellie calls out, and shares a slightly concerned and confused look with you before she walks over to him, while you watch him with higher concern that freezes you a bit.
âJoel, are you okay?â She asks and gets closer to him as he stays leaning against the pole. âJoel?â
âShut up,â he quips at her.
You blink and snap out of your stupor to make your way to him too. âDad,â you call out.
âHoly shit, are you dying?â Ellie remarks, making that fear you didnât feel before spark now at the sound of her words, even if he shakes his head.
Is it his heart? He is old now.
What if it is his heart?
âDad?â You call out and walk past Ellie to look at his face, noticing his eyes are closed and his hand is in a tight fist. Itâs like heâs in painâŚ
âIâm okay,â he mutters breathlessly.
You know you havenât talked much in the past three months, your anger is still pretty alive and heightened to the point you canât hold his gaze sometimes for more than a few seconds. But he still is your dad, and you still do very much love himâŚmore than anything. Itâs just hard being with him right now. Itâs hard.
âOkay, okay,â he keeps repeating, and you grow more concerned.
âOkay, are you okay? It doesnât sound like you are,â Ellie keeps panicking.
âIâm fine.â
âBut are you because just a reminder that if youâre dead, Iâm fuckedââ
âEllie,â you warn, and step closer to him. You feel like freezing, like covering your ears at the sight of his trouble, but you muster the strength to carefully grab his arm, and call to him again. âDaddy.â
As if snapped back to reality by your touch, and your voice so close, he snaps his eyes to you and calms his breathing immediately.
âAre you okay?â You ask him.
He swallows thickly and holds your gaze for a moment before he snaps back. âI said Iâm fine.â
Huh. You pull your hand away and nod. âOkay.â
âItâs just the cold air all of a sudden,â he explains what can be true, but what sounds like bullshit.
âAll right,â Ellie says and continues to walk ahead. âUh, so letâs go and find Tommy and the Fireflies.â
You linger your gaze on your dad for a few more seconds as you try to find some sort of symptom. But he did brush Ellie and you off harshly so, instead you leave him be and follow after Ellie.
âItâs gonna be easy,â Ellie adds and almost trips going up the snowy hill. âAll we have to do is cross the River of Death.â
You roll your eyes at the fact that sheâs believing it so easily, but still donât try to correct anyone. Instead you comment on something to lighten the mood.
âWe might have to wait to find the Fireflies.â
Ellie looks back with slight concern and presses. âWhy?â
You look down at the snow youâre walking over and smirk. âWell itâs not summer yet.â You look up at her and shoot her a smile.
Ellie rolls her eyes and looks back. âThat was stupid,â she remarks as she hides her amused smile.
âYou liked it,â you mutter and pull on your backpack straps to tighten them. âYou know it.â
âMaybe I can laugh at all your jokes if you teach me what you did back there, to that guy in Kansas City a few months ago,â she says.
She saw that?
You let out a soft sigh, and brush away what threatens to resurface about Sam and Henry to solely focus on what she wants. âWell, one, you donât gotta pretend to like my jokes to get something out of me. You could've just asked.â
Ellie shrugs. âI ask Joel to teach me stuff and he says no,â she argues. âI thought youâd be the same.â
You scoff. âWell no, I ain't. And two, always read the room, Kathleen prided herself on loyalty, she wasnât going to risk letting me kill the guy. I knew that so I acted,â you share your technique.
âUh, huh,â Ellie notes everything down mentally.
âTwo, body stance, look at how theyâre standing, how tight their finger is on the trigger, if itâs too tight youâll get shot at that moment,â you continue. âThree, act fast, hit the weak points to paralyze them. Men, the groin is a good one, for both men and women, throat, eyes, knees, temple, nose, jaw and shins. And then get them to the ground, or your stance of choice to threaten them. But always make sure they canât and arenât reaching for any weapons, okay? Youâll lose the higher ground if they do.â
Ellie looks over her shoulder, showing off her little smirk. âOkay, got that, but now what about a physical demonstration?â She asks.
You nod. âSure, once we find somewhere to camp.â
Ellie shoots you a partial grin and nods in comprehension. âCool.â She looks back ahead. âYour joke was stupid by the way.â
You snicker and run up to catch up to her. âYeah. How about yours, Will Livingston, huh?â
She snickers and shrugs, bringing silence that follows the three of you for a while. You just walk, walk and walk for miles, down hills, up them, past dryer terrain and even snowier ground. Past a horizon of the setting sun, and under clear skies. All up until you reach a valley that overlooks the river the couple had mentioned on the map your dad insists on carrying even if they have you guiding the way
âThe River of Death,â Ellie comments. âScary.â
âDonât start,â your dad warns her bluntly.
You on the other hand watch the distant running river and sigh with relief. Youâre almost home.
âItâs too close to dark,â your dad mentions. âThereâs some caves along the river. Weâll set up camp there, cross in the morninâ.â
âGood,â Ellie says. âI'm starving. Shouldâve stolen two rabbits.â
âWe can get our own rabbits,â your dad counters.
You scoff at his comment, and see him give you a side eye.
âYou gonna teach me how?â Ellie asks with hope.
Only to be shot down by your dad. âJust keep movinâ.â
âY/N?â Ellie now drifts her question to you.
You look over at her and think for a few seconds before nodding. âSure let's just get more bullets first, or maybe a bow and arrow.â
Ellie snaps her eyes to your dad and shoots him a smirk. âSee,â she quips. âSomeoneâs nice.â And then she proceeds to continue walking.
You scoff and roll your eyes before you also proceed to continue walking even more. Luckily this time you donât end up walking far, your dad finds a cave somewhat deep in the woods to set up your last camp.
As always youâre all quick to eat as thatâs what youâre looking forward to the most throughout the long days of walking, and avoiding danger. As always itâs quiet between you and him. He doesnât attempt to talk to you, nor do you attempt to talk to him. Something stands in the way now, a tensionâŚa fear that runs in the both of you.
The one thing that fills the awkward and tension filled silence is Ellie.
âOh my god!â She exclaims and jumps off her seat to run off towards the giant rock in front of the cave.
âEllie,â your dad mutters.
You look up from your food and see the sky beginning to glow as it fills with beautiful dancing colors of bright green, and hints of purple light. Northern lights.
You smile softly and shove the last bit of food in your mouth before you follow Ellie towards the rock to get a better view of them from the top.
âBeautiful huh? You know why they happen?â You ask Ellie as you sit beside her on the rock.
Ellie keeps her head up to continue admiring the dancing hues, and shakes her head. âDo you?â She redirects.
You hum and nod. âI read it in a book once, it happens when charged particles collide with gasses in Earth's upper atmosphere. Those collisions then produce tiny flashes that fill the sky with colorful light.â
Ellie looks down and meets your gaze. âHm, interesting.â She says sincerely with a soft smile as she looks up again.
âThereâs a lot of lore behind them, different beliefs,â you add quietly. âSome people think of them as bad omen, others as positiveâŚ.what really stuck with me is this one belief I got told once by an old lady in JacksonâŚâ you pause and slowly look down at your hands as that sadness, that grief, that agony, presents itself in you again after having pushed it away all day.
âShe said that the lights are the souls of the departedâŚancestors, thoseâŚ.â You swallow thickly and feel your eyes and throat begin to sting. âYou lost.â You reach in your pocket and pull out the sun pin you kept inside, you fiddle with it and watch it reflect the lights that dance above.
âI like that one,â Ellie whispers.
You nod as your eyes fill with tears. âMe too.â You let out a deep sigh and flicker your eyes up to watch the sky again, to admire its beauty.
Ellie and you stay up there, basking in the lights and the silence until your dad whistles and cuts in. âCome down from there. Yâall gonna break your necks.â
ImpossibleâŚ.maybe a sore neckâŚ
Regardless you both climb down and huddle back near the fire.
âAh,â Ellie interjects. âCan I have some?â
You put the pin away and glance over at your dad, noticing the flask of alcohol in his hand.
âNo.â He shakes his head.
âWhat?â Ellie argues. âJust to warm up. Câmon.â
Your dad rolls his eyes slightly but gives in, making you pass the flask to Ellie.
âThanks,â she mutters, and looks at the metal flask for a second before raising it up as a speechless cheers.
You think sheâd hesitate to take a sip, but she takes the drink without a fight.
Honestly, itâs very funny. Especially when she pulls it down and scrunches her face in disgust.
âYep,â she groans. âStill gross.â She nudges it to you now. âSip?â
You look at it and shake your head. âIâm fine. Thanks.â You grab the flask and hand it back to your dad.
âSo Iâve been thinking,â Ellie continues to fill the silence.
âHm?â You probe curiously, and press your hands down on the cold ground to lean back.
âLetâs say we find the Fireflies,â she says, âit all works, they draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines and make a cure.â
âOkay?â You hear your dad say.
âThen what? Like, what do we do?â
âOh, itâs we?â Your dad retorts, kind of rudely may you add.
âOkay,â Ellie corrects herself. âFine. Whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?â
Thatâs an interesting question.
You glance over at your dad and wait.
âItâs never been an option,â he answers and looks up to the sky as he clears his throat. âMaybe,â he sighs. âAn old farmhouse, some land, a ranch.â
Heâs said that once, when you were young, he said he was working to get one, that you could all have all the free space you wanted, you could have horses, sheep, dogs, cats and goats. Heâd said that once heâs old Sarah and you could live with him to take care of him and the animals. He always liked to talk about it.
Of course that was pre outbreak. You never heard that dream after. Itâs nice that it hasnât changed.
âCool,â Ellie comments, but you canât tell if sheâs teasing him or actually interested. âWhat kind?â
âSheep. I would raise sheep.â
You glance down at the fire and smile softly.
âSheep,â Ellie whispers.
âTheyâre quiet,â your dad adds, making you snort softly. âDo what theyâre told.â
You stifle your laugh and glance over at Ellie since you know itâs a jab at her.
âYeah, yeah,â Ellie gets it. âOkay. So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic.â
You smile and spare your dad one teasing glance. He feels your gaze, he sees your smile finally directed at him after three months, and sighs softly.
âWhat about you, y/n?â Ellie asks.
You glance at her and then watch the dancing lights in the sky. âWell when I was young I wanted to be a performer like Britney Spears.â You grin proudly.
âWho?â Ellie queries, but you donât have time to answer since you continue.
âBut now I want to become a movie star,â you smirk and look down at her. âAn actress who stars in big movies. Like Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Kristen Dunst, Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, and my favorite, and my idol, Audrey Hepburn.â You beam at her and nod slowly.
Ellie squints and shakes her head. âIâve heard of none of them.â
âYou will soon enough, and youâll know my name as well. Y/N Miller,â you throw your hands up in the air and glance at your dad with that grin, noticing him listening with intent and the corner of his lips slightly raised. âFamous movie star. Survivalist. And the most talented and prettiest.â
Ellie snorts and nods along again. âI actually think thatâs pretty cool. I mean youâll probably be the only one, but itâs nice.â
âThank you,â you beam at her and put your hands down. âI wonât forget to mention you in my speech when I win my Oscar.â You wink and then press her now. âWhat about you? Where are you gonna go?â
Ellie gently punches her legs and looks up. âItâs probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, thereâs ocean, and ahead of you, thereâs a wall.â She looks down between you and your dad. âNowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?â
Yes.
âSally Ride,â your dad guesses correctly.
âSally fuckinâ Ride!â She whispers excitedly. âBest astronaut name ever.â
You smile softly and in admiration. Silence follows, and her own smile fades, her gaze gets lost ahead of her, and you sense sorrow.
âItâll work, right?â She then asks, making your smile fall. âThe vaccine?â
You sigh and sit up to drag your legs against your chest, and hug them tightly.
âItâs a little late to start wonderinââ your dad retorts.
âI tried,â she says. âWith Sam.â
Your frown immediately deepens, and your heart begins to sink.
âTried what?â Your dad probes.
âI knew he was infected,â Ellie answers, and you see her glance at you. âI rubbed some of my blood into his bite. I know. I know it was stupid. But IâŚI wanted to save him.â
Your eyes water again, that anguish crawls back up, and memories haunt you.
âWell, I reckon itâs a lot more complicated than that,â your dad tells her. âMarlene, sheâs a lotta things, but sheâs no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.â
They hopeâŚ.you hope too.
For him. For Sam.
After that silence returns, which is abruptly interrupted. âWho wants to take first watch and second watch?â Ellie asks to change the subject.
You part your lips to volunteer, but your dad quickly interrupts before you can.
âIâll do both. you girls should get some sleep.â
You snap your eyes to him and get ready to argue, but once again he beats you to it.
âY/N, itâs okay, I can do it. Tomorrow weâll be with Tommy, and I can sleep then.â
You hesitate for a moment but you know youâll get nowhere, so you give in.
âDream of sheep ranches on the moon,â he adds as you and Ellie grab your sleeping bags.
âI will,â Ellie agrees. And you just scoff softly and leave it at that.
ââ
Sleep comes, but you donât last long, eventually the nightmares take over; the same ones from the past three months, and all you can do is stay up to avoid seeing all of it. It would make a boring and long night, but you find yourself entertained by watching your dad.
He sits against the cave wall, he watches the sky, he watches the dark shadows in the forest, and occasionally he glances over to watch you and Ellie sleep. He seems to be looking for something, a sign of life. Once he finds it heâd look away and go back to keeping watch. Thatâs when your head spins and you begin to wonder why he left you?
What was his reason? Grief?
Because you feel it, you understand it. Perhaps not before, not the moment you lost Sarah, but after losing Henry?
That need to just go away, to cave into yourself, to hide and never come out? ToâŚnot keep going, to just end it as it seems like life has little meaning? You understand that. You want to do it everyday. Is that why?
Or was it fear? Just cause?
Did you do something wrong?
Or were you not enough? Were you notâŚher?
If you could, you'd bring her back to him. If somehow there was a chance, you would. Youâd bring back Sam and Henry. Even if it meant youâd be gone forever, youâd do it.
If seeing Sarah again would make him happy youâd do it. Anger and resentment aside, youâd do itâŚ.
NeverthelessâŚas youâre caught up in your own thoughts, he ends up passing out.
What an old man.
To keep him that way so he can get the rest he needs you get up and keep watch for him. Ellie soon joins you and you let sleep as you both keep watch while the sun rises again, and the day turns bright.
During your watch you taught Ellie the move she wanted to learn; which she learns fast and gets very happy about. You talked about stupid stuff, and then watched some more until he woke up abruptly.
âStill mumbling in your sleep,â Ellie comments as he looks up panicked. âWe woke up early. You were passed out, so we took second watch.â
âY/N,â your dad scolds you.
You just shrug and brush him off.
âYou gotta wake me up if that happens,â he rebuttals and gets up. âYou canât do things like this, Ellie.â
âBut I can,â she counters sassily. ââCause I just did. Besides, y/n was with me the entire time.â
âSheâs older, she knows stuff,â he quickly snaps back. âSheâs not responsible for you, I am, okay?â
âThen donât fall asleep,â she sasses him. âWe were quiet, We checked our six, we looked for tracks, we found the high ground, and we kept watch,â she assures him as he gets near. âlike you and she taught me too. And y/n let me hold the gun the entire time.â She quips and shares a proud glance with you. âWhat can I say, man? I'm a natural.â
âUh-huh,â he nods. âGive her the gun.â
Ellie sighs and turns to hand you back your gun. You then proceed to hang it around your shoulder, and listen to him direct her a comment.
âYou wake me up next time.â
âYes, sir,â Ellie agrees. âBut only if y/n is not here.â She shoots him a smile.
Your dad rolls his eyes and groans. âFine,â he says in defeat. âCâmon pack up, letâs get goinâ.â
As usual the day consists of endless fucking walking which was getting more annoying the closer you were to home. Itâs like a fucking dread. And today it seemed colder outâbut thatâs probably due to the falling snow and the winder winds.
Once you assure Ellie and your dad that River is safe to cross, you make it to the other side and put your mask up over half of your face, you put your hood over your head to block out the cold and keep as warm as you can.
The closer you got home, the more the grounds seemed familiar, the more your excitement rose. That becomes especially so as you get close to the dam.
âWeâre almost there,â you squeal. âWeâre almost home.â You quicken your pace, but look back as you the sound of Ellie blowing out air catches your attention. âWhatcha doinâ?â
âIâm learning how to whistle,â she explains as she catches both you and your dad looking back at her now.
âYou donât know how to whistle?â Your dad queries.
Ellie pulls her hand out of her mouth to rebuttal. âDoes it sound like I know how to whistle?â
âNo,â you retort and look back ahead. âJust put your lips together and blow.
âIâve tried that! It doesnât work!â
You smirk and do it yourself before you look back at her to do it again.
Ellie shoots you a pointed glare and drops her hand to her side. âWell now you're just showing off,â she spats. âNo one likes a show off.â
You smirk and counter. âEveryone likes me, so I guess itâs wrong.â
Ellie scoffs. âHave you ever heard of the word humble? Wonât hurt to know its definition.â
You grin and look ahead. âI do know it actually.â You whistle one more to piss her off.
This time she doesnât retort back, instead you suddenly feel a snowball hit your back.
âHey!â You exclaim and look back.
Ellie shoots you a smirk. âShow off,â she quips without shame.
You let out a small huff and stop walking to bend down and make a snowball. Ellie knows what youâre going to do and begins to walk back with a grin.
âDonât,â she laughs and puts her hand out.
âWhistle,â you say. âAnd I wonât throw it. Oh wait,â you snicker. âYou canât.â
Ellie quickly bends down and collects a snowball, causing you guys to stay at a standstill to wait whoâd throw it first.
âThrow it and Iâll push you in,â she threatens.
You begin to walk back and taunt her again with a whistle.
âFucker!â Ellie runs and throws it, but you manage to turn out of the way, and it ends up hitting the back of your dads legs.
Ellieâs eyes go wide, and you and her stifle your laughs as he stops and looks back.
âIt was me,â she admits with a smirk, and you let your snowball fall, and snicker.
Your dad looks between the two of you, he lets his gaze linger without saying anything. And when he does break his gaze away itâs to glance down at his wrist for a second before he lifts his eyes and lets out a deep annoyed sigh. âEnough foolinâ around, letâs go.â He grumbles and turns to continue on ahead, causing you guys to follow after him now.
âYou guys should teach me how to hunt. Like, seriously,â Ellie says.
âHuh,â your dad breathes out.
âHuh,â Ellie mocks. âLike sheâs a girl. she canât handle it.â
âYou can handle the shootinââ you assure her.
âNot so sure about the dressinâ?â Your dad adds on to your comment.
âWhatâs the dressinâ?â Ellie asks.
You look over at her and explain it to her. âItâs when you take the guts out.â
Ellie nods as she falls behind. âOh, yeah. Why do they call it dressing? Itâs like, you should call it undressing âcause it is. Itâs like undressing from the inside.â
You hum in agreement and think about it now too.
âStill interested, though.â Ellie adds.
âI told you,â you tell her and grin as you see glimpses of the dam coming up. âLetâs just get more bullets, and we can do it.â You then run up ahead and stop at the top of the hill that overlooks the running water that goes through the dam.
Ellie and your dad catch up, and Ellie of course adds something to specialize the moment. âDam.â
You and your dad share a judgmental gaze before he retorts for you. âYouâre no Will Livingston.â
âYeah, yeah, but who is?â She rebuttals. âSo that made electricity?â
âYeah,â your dad answers her. âDonât ask me. I donât have a clue.â
You smile wider and linger in your spot for a moment before you continue walking.
âYou know, you couldâve just made something up,â Ellie interjects as they both follow you now whilst you try hard not to just run home out of pure joy. âI wouldâve believed you.â
âYou know,â you add on as you walk down, past the dam. âThe dam still provides electricity. Iâve been told how, but I forgot, but there is light in Jackson, trust me.â
âHuh,â Ellie huffs out. âWell we're almost there arenât we? Weâll see.â
âYeah.â You mutter. âWe will.â
Once you make it down you each step makes your heart beat pick up, each other footstep makes you wary since you know that the rangers out on pontrol should probably be approaching. Itâs rare that theyâd miss spotting the three of you.
âLook at that River,â Ellie points out. âItâs crazy blue. Hey, Joel, what if this is the River of Death?â
You hear him stop, so you stop even with your anticipation to get home, and wait for them. You watch him pull out his map to check what youâve already pointed out.
âWeâre close,â you break the silence. âLetâs go.â
As you take a few steps ahead, you come to a quick halt as the sound of horses neighing, their running footsteps steal your attention.
Your dad takes Ellieâs hand and tries to run away, while you stay in place and watch multiple people surround you, stopping Ellie and your dad right by you.
âGet behind me,â you hear your dad tell Ellie, before he grabs your hand and tries to pull you behind him too.
However, you slip your hand away and step forward again. Youâre not scared, you recognize this tactic, you know the protocol, you know itâs them.
âWe ainât lookinâ for any trouble,â your dad interjects to try to ease the tension. âWeâre just passinâ through.â
You glance around at all of them, all the faces of the people that surround the three of you. Since they all have hats, and masks over their faces itâs hard to identify whoâs who. You doubt much has changed as far as routines go, maybe some people have been added here and there, but it should be the same otherwise. They might recognize you and ease the tension.
Albeit just as you lower your hand to take off your mask all guns point at you
âKeep your hands up!â The man at front yells.
âYes,â you mutter and search the crowd again for Maria, she usually likes to patrol at the gate.
Behind you a dog begins to whine; maybe itâs the alert dogâŚfuck thatâs right. Fuck.
âDrop the guns!â The man yells again.
You snap your gaze to your dad and give him an assuring nod before you both pull your guns off your shoulders, and place them on the ground. When youâre lifting your arms again is when you reach for your mask and pull it off, you then lift your hand further and pull off your hood, finally revealing your face to those ahead of you.
Again you search the crowd and behind the man you spot her, Maria. Her eyes land on you too and you see her ease her shoulders.
The man ahead lowers his gun slightly and squints his gaze slightly. âHoly shit,â he mutters. âThe child protege returns.â He scoffs and glances back, you follow his line of gaze and see Maria getting off her horse, she lowers her mask and her eyes softenââwelcome home, Sunny.â
You smile with relief, and offer him a nod.
âYouâre gonna have to stay there girl,â he adds. âYou know the rules.â
You nod and look at Ellie and your dad. âItâs okay,â you mutter and keep your hands at your side.
âYou been near infected?â He asks.
You shake your head and try to answer, but your dad beats you to it.
âThereâs no infected out here.â
âThe hell there ainât,â the guy spats back and whistles, making a dog from ahead of you bark as heâs brought over.
Then whoâs whining behind you?
âLast chance for a bullet. If youâve been infected, he will smell it and he will rip you up.â
You swallow thickly and glance over at Ellie.
Usually the dog only detects active cordyceps, hers isâŚdormant considering it hasnât spread? Or is it active?
Fuck.
The dog is let go from its leash and he first begins to walk to your dad. He first smells him to make sure, and once he smells nothing he jumps up and gives the all clear. After that the dog walks over to you, he smells your feet and your legs, before jumps on you and gives you the all clear.
âGood boy,â you coo at him and scratch him behind the ears.
The dog happily wags his tail before getting on all fours to walk back to his handler.
âLike I said, weâll just move on,â your dad interjects. But itâs not that easy, they still need to make sure Ellie is clear. You canât move otherwise, not even to greet Maria that is itching to meet up with you as much as you are to meet up with her.
âNow her,â they point to Ellie.
Your heart begins to race, and your mind begins to race faster. The dog begins to growl as he creeps towards her, so you look at your dad to see what heâd do, but you see that heâs frozenâŚheâsâŚfrozen.
He must truly care about herâŚ.
Fuck.
You step back and face Ellie, and she looks over at you at that moment too to express her concern since your dad wouldnât turn to face her.
âIt's okay,â you mouth to her as the dog gets closer. âItâs okay.â You discreetly reach your fingers for your holstered gun. If the dog does detect the cordyceps then youâll have toâŚwound it so he doesnât hurt her, theyâll all probably hate you for it, but you canât let her die.
The dog gets closer, he smells her for a few seconds before he looks up at her. You hold your breath and clench your jaw.
Ellie glances at you again, and you step forward, but the dog then barks and jumps on her, giving the all clear, and letting you relax and exhale deeply.
âHi,â Ellie giggles and crouches down to pet the dog and let him lick her. âHi!â
Now that he isnât going to kill her, you look at the guy for the okay.
He catches you and points to Maria with his eyes. You immediately beam as your eyes begin to sting, and donât wait a moment longer to break into a run towards her, meeting her halfway.
âOh god,â she whispers as she throws her arms around you. âYouâre here. Youâve been gone too long.â
You nod and ball up the material of her jacket in your fists as you nuzzle your head against her shoulder.
âIâm home,â your voice quivers, forgetting those you came with as youâre basked by the joy, and warmth of being in her arms again. Itâs why you miss the curious stare of your dad, the confusion that grows within him, whilst Ellie begins to feel a spark of something deep within her, something she hasnât felt about you before, jealousyâŚnot for what you might have with Maria, but over how she holds you and what it can mean.
Sure at first she was slightly jealous of you, of how your father showed you affection, but that soon disappeared, quickly actually; the moment she saw you take down that man. And now after 3 months, after witnessing what happened 3 months ago together. After 2 months of you teaching her things she didn't know, things she wanted to know, now after having someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. Now after finally having another woman to bond with her instead of just your dad. After having no one but you and your dad, sheâs grown quite attached to you too.
She knew you were heading home to your family, but something in her hoped you wouldn't be so overjoyed, she didnât want you to stay with them. She wanted just you, your dad, and her. Even if she noticed how you and your dad barely even talked at the moment.
âYouâre never leaving,â Maria says and rests her chin on your head. âYou understand that?â
You laugh and nod. âNot planninâ to.â
Maria tightens her hold around you for one more lingering second before she pulls back to grab your shoulders and look at you in the face, to see the happy tears that roll down your cheeks.
âTommy is going to freak out,â she says with a happy smile. âI was so worried,â she sighs and caresses your cheeks as she looks deep into your eyes.
You try to hide it well, the sadness brought by your still very much active grief, but can she tell in this small interaction?
âIâm home now,â you assure her. âIâm okay.â
âAre you?â She asks.
You nod and offer her a brighter smile. âIâŚam.â
She hums, and caresses your chin once more before letting you go, and letting you turn to introduce who youâre here with now that you remember that youâre still surrounded. But before you can, a big red bloodhound comes running at you and tackles you to the ground with all its force to start licking you, and whining out of joy.
âHey!â You hear Ellie exclaim with concern.
âAhh,â you groan and keep tilting your head away so you wouldnât be licked in your mouth. âThatâs a good boy, Achilles,â you tell him. âI missed you too man, but youâre heavy.â
âMaybe heâll help you get cleaned up,â you hear someone say as they approach you. âAchilles, get off her man.â
The dog does as heâs told, letting someone else come to view as they stand above you now, blocking the natural bright light that almost blinds you, but shines around his head like heâs some majestic being.
âFuck,â he gasps and throws his hand out to offer it to you.
As if it can be possible you grin brighter at the sight of his familiar soft brown eyes that gleam with happiness, and his beaming smile that spreads on his square jaw. You take his hand and let him help you off the ground, you stay there in front of each of other for a lingering moment just staring at one another with longing that comes rushing back at youâyou also notice he doesnât seem to aged much, he looks pretty much the same, except for his hair, itâs longer, fluffier, and no longer shaven.
It looks good that way. Itâs nice to see him again. seeing your best friend since you joined the fireflies years ago brings even more ease to your wounded heart. It makes you excited, so much so that you squeal before you throw your arms around his neck.
âJesus,â he mutters as he holds onto you. âI knew youâd make it.â He nuzzles his head against your shoulder, and you close your eyes to nuzzle your face against him.
âIâm finally home,â you whisper as if you canât believe it.
He hums and begins to rub your back, he lets you bask in his embrace until youâre the one that wants to let go.
âYou grew out your hair,â you point out with a smile and brush back the ends of his hair. âI like it.â
You begin to turn to face your dad and Ellie, but he turns with you to keep holding your gaze with a soft look that matches yours.
âYeah,â he scoffs and grows cocky. âI knew you were coming, so I was like, Iâm going to grow it for her since I know she likes it that way.â
You roll your eyes, but keep your smile as you walk past him to face your dad and Ellie now.
âTheyâre okay,â you assure the group. âTheyâre with me. That man is,â you exhale and share a glance with Maria. âMy dad, Joel, the girl is Ellie.â
Slowly they both put their hands down, but the guns remain pointed.
âYou vouch for them?â The guy asks you.
You glance at him and meet his gaze to nod. âYep.â
The guy nods in comprehension and lowers his gun, letting the others do the same.
âLetâs get them on some horses and get them inside,â the guy instructs.
You glance at Ellie and your dad once before you turn on your heels to follow Maria.
âThatâs your dad?â Apollo asks quietly beside you as he makes his horse, and his dog Achilles follows him as you all head home. âAre you gonna present me or what?â
âShut up, Apollo,â you snap back and nudge him.
Apollo laughs and looks back. âI kinda see it between him and Tommy.â
You giggle. âWell they are brothers. You and Atlas look alike for that same reason.â
âYou and your sister didn't look alike,â Apollo quickly rebuttals.
You huff out. ââCause we were half sisters, duh, do you want it explained to you how that works? Mama,â you look at Maria up on her horse now. âYou want to explain to Apollo how that works.â
âDonât be an ass,â Apollo retorts and nudges you.
You giggle, and notice Maria smirk.
Not so long after that Ellie, your dad, and you are whisked to some horses, finally being able to rest your feet and not have to walk the rest of the way to Jackson. You come to recognize most of the rangers who had given you that cold welcome, and greet all those you knew and that knew you.
You werenât inside the walls yet, you havenât seen your uncle yet, but you did feel more safe now, more comforted now that you arenât out in the open. Now that youâre only minutes from home.
âI canât wait to share the hell Iâve been through these past two years,â you interject on your way home. âYou guys wonât fucking believe it.â
Apollo glances over at you and narrows his gaze to quip. âMaybe.â He licks his lips and looks serious. âYou should tell it in the form of a play, hm?â
Heâs making fun of you, funny.
âYeah,â you go along with him. âThe adventures of y/n Miller, one woman show, the musical.â You smirk and bounce your eyebrows.
âWho would play you?â He counters. ââCause,â he says and sucks in air through his teeth. âI hate to break it to you, but singing isnât for you, you can play the guitar, but itâs singing that justâŚ.â He shakes his head.
You drop your jaw, peel your eyes wide as if suddenly hit with excitement, and snap your fingers to share your thought. âI have the best idea. MaybeâŚyour mom can do it?â
Apollo goes serious, and you stifle your laugh as you grin at him.
âCan I get a bump?â You tease him and stick your fist out at your other side to offer Ellie a fistbump since sheâs riding beside you.
Ellieâs confused at first, but she doesnât leave you hanging. Apollo shakes his head with a frown, so you now offer him your fist.
âCome on,â you encourage him. âDonât leave me hanging, it was funny.â You giggle.
Apollo rolls his eyes but very lightly hits your fist. âOnly because youâre back,â he mutters.
You shrug sweetly and shoot him a sweet smile.
âIt was a lame joke,â Ellie mutters.
You roll your eyes to her and sigh. âWell, I think it works,â you assure yourself. âIt was good at the moment.â You flash her a smile.
Jackson isnât far now, you all make it there quickly by horse. That wooden wall comes to view soon, and after being gone for so long, itâs such a heavenly sight. What once felt like a trapdoor, what once felt like a cage is now nothing but paradise. Walking in was such a fucking relief too. There was instant comfort in all the buildings, some that have had some tweaks and others that remain the same.
âWelcome back home,â Maria tells you as the gates close behind you.
You shoot her a smile and continue to look around at all the people, and then focus on the Christmas decorations, letting you know come up to date with what month it was; December! Itâs almost Christmas!
Yet, even as happy as you feel, thereâs a sadness that stabs your heart, that reminds you of that painâŚ
Henry and Sam should be here. They shouldâve made it this far, they shouldâve seen all this. You promised themâŚ
âY/N?!â
You snap away from your thoughts and look behind you where the call had come from, thatâs when you see another familiar face, a close friend from your firefly days, and Apolloâs younger brother.
You turn your frown the other way around so they wonât worry. âAtlas!â You call out and climb off the horse, letting the man behind you take it for you.
âI knew it was you!â Atlas exclaims as you both run to meet halfway in an embrace. âHoly fuck!â He chuckles. âFuck! I thought you were dead!â
You laugh softly and pat his back. âI made it, like I said I would.â
He smiles and caresses the back of your neck with his soft hands. âWe missed you. Home wasnât the same without you.â
You pull back and offer him a happy smile. âYou havenât aged,â you point out.
âNah,â he winks. âJust got more handsome.â
You scrunch your nose in disgust and pull away from him completely.
Atlas smirks and glances at the pair you came in with as they walk away further in town. âYouâve brought company.â
You nod and turn to walk after them now, seeing Apollo approach on foot. âYeah, thatâs my dad,â you let Atlas know.
Atlas snaps his head to you and furrows his thick dark eyebrows. âNo fucking way. Like, your dad, dad?â
Why are they so in disbelief that heâs your dad? Is there something youâre missing?
âYeah.â You nod and scoff. âHim.â You let out a sigh and watch Apollo fall by your other side now. âIâve got a question,â you abruptly change the subject as curiosity grows. âAre you still with redhead Jessica?â
Atlas begins to snicker, but Apollo answers before his brother can blurt the news.
âWe broke up.â
You perk up instantly.
âYeah,â Atlas bounces off his brother's announcement. âShe cheated on him.â He smirks.
What a reliefâŚnot the cheating part.
WellâŚkindaâŚ
âYeah,â Apollo sighs as he shoots his brother a glare. âIt happened like a year ago.â
You smile and let him see it. âBad news, told ya.â
âWhatever,â Apollo retorts.
âAtlas! You rangle up stragglers?!â You hear a woman shout.
Apollo and you snap your heads to the side, seeing Atlas spin around to walk backwards so he can look at the young girls that had spoken to him.
âYep!â Atlas lies. âBad ones too! I spotted them myself, kept them from getting shot.â
You and Apollo share an amused and judgemental look before continuing to watch Atlas, noticing at that moment a pile of shit that one of the horses dropped just now; and Atlas was walking right towards it.
âA thousand that he steps in it,â you offer Apollo.
Your friend scoffs and shakes his head. âNo need, heâs going to step in it.â
You both snicker and watch Atlas continue to walk back.
âLetâs meet later while everyone is at the movies, Iâll tell you all about it, and my recent patrol!â
The girls giggle and nod. âLetâs do it!â One of the girls accepts.
Atlas shoots them a wink, and as he does he runs into the pile of hot horse shit.
Without looking, as if you hadnât ever left, Apollo and you share a proud highfive at his brother's carelessness.
âOh man!â Atlas exclaims. âWhat the hell?!â
âY/N?!â Someone yells, this one more familiar and soothing than before.
You snap your eyes ahead, and there in the middle of the crowd that had greeted you outside the gates, beside your dad, is your uncle Tommy.
âUncle Tommy!â You call back with instant tears filling your eyes as youâre slammed with unmeasurable relief, more bliss than youâve felt since you saw your dad for the first time.
Your uncle Tommy smiles softly and without hesitation, before wasting another second you both break through barriers of space to collide, to throw your arms around one another and hold each other.
âOh, babygirl,â he whispers as he caresses your back, and holds you in his arms tightly as if he would lose you if his hold was too loose.
âUncle Tommy,â you cry after not being able to hold it any longer.
âOh,â he breathes out. âMy sweet Sunny.â
As you held him, as you cried into his shoulder, you felt finally home, secured. This was home. Him. Uncle Tommy. For so long he was all you had after your dad left, for so long even when your dad was there he was the light that didnât flicker away. He was the hope you almost lost. He was home, just as much as you were his.
Yes, as you hugged him, as you held him close you did notice the faint look of hurt in your dads eyes as he saw the interaction, it hurt you seeing it. But isnât this what he wanted when he left you? When he drove you away? When you werenât enough for him?
When you werenât enough for him to stay and be your dad?
.
Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201@maeneedsabreak@maelartasch@adristyles@daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27
#fanfiction#damn-stark#tragedy at the millers#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fanfic#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel miller x daughter!reader#joel miller fanfiction#Joel miller#Henry Burrell x fem!reader#henry tlou x fem!reader#henry the last of us#tlou henry#the last of us henry#henry and Sam#sam tlou#Ellie#ellie williams#tlou ellie#Tommy miller#tommy tlou#maria tlou#tlou Tommy#chapter 3#angst#the last of us
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I just saw someone else talking about this but like itâs on my mind and my little heart. The way Joel is in such tune with Ellie when the clickers attack and sheâs running and dodging and heâs sniping clickers as she goes and she gets in the truck and the clicker climbs IN AND JOEL CANT REACH IT AND HE STARTS PANICKING AND FREAKING OUT and shaking because he canât protect her and like dad???? Is that you????? not her father my ass??????
#tlou#tlou spoilers#the last of us spoilers#Joel miller#Pedro pascal#Bella Ramsey#Joel and Ellie#henry and sam#joel the last of us#ellie the last of us#the last of us
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I lost it at "My blood is medicine." They were both so scared, and she showed Sam her bite to prove to both of them that he could live, too. She really was hopeful that it would work. I've played the game, and I still wanted it to work! I wanted it to work so, so badly. I knew it couldn't, but it didn't stop me. They captured that desperation and that hope here. This scene was amazing, I'm so glad they put it in.
"For kids, it's easier, you don't have anyone depending on you," nahhh she's internalized this shit for life now. She couldn't save Riley. Smearing her blood on Sam's bite didn't work. We now know that rudimentary treatments like this can't save others from cordyceps. But if she'd had a medicine, maybe Riley and Sam would still be around. This scene was so good for demonstrating Ellie's thought process behind getting the operation. Because, for Ellie, what good is this immunity if all it does is mean she ends up alone?
#please nobody talk to me i need a moment#tlou#tlou hbo#bella ramsey#sam tlou#ellie williams#the last of us#henry and sam#endure and survive#maria talks#tlou tv
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Louder than Words
Joel Miller x Male!Reader
Summary: Joel feelings for you start to come to light while talking with Henry. Things between you two take off when Joel finds you alone, and finally takes his chance. (Setting and story moments from Episode 5)
Tags: Fluff, Kissing(Slightly Smutty), Soft Joel, mention of violence
Word Count: 2.7K A/N: Time for some more Joel Miller! This time something more sweet and passionate. Writer's block made this one take forever to finish, but here we are. Any who enjoy!
*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR EPISODE 5*
A loud crack at the wall echoed within the sealed room. Ellie excitedly jumped up, cheering after scoring a goal. Ellie and her new friend, Sam, were occupying themselves with a game of soccer to past the time.
You were setting your supplies down on a desk that hosted a stereo and lamp in a dark part of the settlement. Seemed like a perfect place to get yourself situated, so you got to work turning both the devices on and getting your things organized in your bag.
Joel and Henry, both sitting at small tables on the other side of the room, were watching the kids play. Whether it was out of boredom or just seeing them entertained brought them the same emotions, wasn't clear.
"If you were collaboratin' to take care of him...I shouldn't have said what I said. I don't know your situation." He offered his apologies to Henry, explaining the cruelty of FEDRA's intention of trying to kill him.
Due to Joel's show of empathy, Henry took the opportunity to open up about his first kill. "There was a man, a great man". By the way Henry explained him, his death almost seemed unwarranted. His selfishness, forgiving nature...having to kill somebody like that must've been difficult. His face made it obvious.
Henry continues after a short pause, "Have you ever met someone like that? Kinda man you'd follow anywhere."
Joel felt his heart jump at said words, his eyes instinctively looking over at you. You were moving your head in sync with the music while patching up your weapons, unnaturally calm about their coming mission. You were just like that, seemingly levelheaded even if the worse was to come. It was something Joel just couldn't get his head around. Yet he still found it comforting, perhaps he knew he could lean on someone in dire situations.
While Joel's attention was brought back to Henry's further explanation, you proceed to set your gun down after making some modifications to it. You turn the volume of the stereo down some, eyes catching a softball just off to the side. You stopped what you were doing, picking the ball up with an idea coming to mind.
Ellie and Sam began chasing each other around, but you were about to ruin their fun. You came out of your dark corner shouting to the two, "Heads up". You threw the ball at Ellie who didn't have enough time to react and ended up being hit in the shoulder. She turns to you with a confused look.
"Ooo..did that hurt?" you say in a mocking manner.
"Screw you" she retorted, retreating the ball off the ground and throwing it back at you.
You of course caught it with ease, "Dodgeball ain't your sport kid."
Ellie scoffed, "I didn't even get a chance, pass it here...I'll show you."
Your eyebrows raised before looking over to the 'Goal' writing on the wall. You walk over to the goal frame, passing the ball too Ellie. "Alright, you two you gotta hit me. Best-" As quick as the words came out of your mouth, Ellie threw the ball at you.
Ellie giggled, watching your expression changed to one of shock. "What? You said hit you..."
You sighed, passing it back to them, "When I say go, Ellie. Like I was saying, best game out of three. I dodge and you two try to hit me. Each round is complete after one attempt from both of you." Sam was then notified how to play the game via his magic slate board and they begun.
Unfortunately for the kids, your reaction time was unmatched. Not a single throw had landed. Ellie decided then and there to hand the ball to Sam, pointing her fingers down at the ball and then towards you. She then charges toward you and jumps onto you. You yelp as the her weight and grip kept you in place.
It clicked then for Sam what Ellie was trying to do, and he proceeds to bombard you with blows from the softball. The kids laughing and smiling in taking their revenge got a smirk out of Henry.
"It's nice seeing that boy happy..." Henry mentions, referring to his brother, "Very rarely does he even crack a smile." Both Joel and him watched as the chaos unfolded, certainly clear to them now that they were entertained. âAnd your friend is something. Donât come by someone like that oftenâ.
Joel replies trying to hide his smirk from forming, âYeah, something for sure.â
Henry looks at Joel, who still had his eyes on the chaos. He thought for a second before stating, "He's a good guy, you knowâ.
Joel could only give Henry a puzzled look as a response, trying to figure out what the man was getting at.
âYou may not be his, and she not be your daughter, but you were someoneâs at some point. I can tell,â Henry exclaims.
All Joel could think was how perceptive Henry had to be to figure that out. They had just met not even half a day ago and he seems to have a general idea about them. Joel couldnât tell if he feels relief or offended by his feelings being plastered out in front of him.
Seconds later, Joel decides to end the conversation entirely by getting up, âWe need to leave. Weâve waited long enough.â
âââ
It was far late into the night now. The group had posted up at a motel after just barely making it through a fight between FEDRA and a horde of clickers. Everyone by this point was exhausted and getting ready for bed, except you werenât back inside yet.
Earlier you had stepped out, saying you needed some air. So instead of getting comfortable on the floor, Joel gets up to leave the apartment.
Stepping out into the night, he's hit with the night's cool air. He looks in both direction and spots you half way down he open hall with your arms leaning against the railings. Gently, he closes the door behind him and walks over to you. His heavy footsteps alerting you of his presence.
You greeted him, âJoel.â
âY/nâ, he says, rubbing his hands together. The man stood a few feet from you, âCold ainât it?â
âNoâŚweather is quite nice. And you're not warm in that,â pointing out his light brown jacket.
Joel shook his head, moving closer to the railing, "Barely." An awkward silence lingered over the two as there wasn't much either one of you wanted to say.
Even with very little on your mind, you tried to spark up a conversation,"Today was quite eventful.â
Joel hummed, leaning against the rails like you were, âYeah, weâre lucky nobody got hurt.â
âSeriously. I could barely tell what was happening. I honestly thought we were done for", a small bit of fear was noticeable through your tone. âThankfully we had you watching our backsâ.
Joel could sense his heart picking up hearing you say that. His compliment was well rewarded after saving you and Ellie multiple times from being bitten. The man could snipe for sure. âIâm just glad that massive clicker didnât get ahold of any of ya.â
âThe massive what?â
âSome overgrown clicker just emerged among the horde and started attacking everyone in sight.â
You raised a brow, a bit skeptical on how you didn't manage to see it. âUh huhâŚyou sure you werenât just seeing things?â
"I'm certain of what I saw",
You backed off, "Okay then. I do wonder how you didn't shit your pants seeing that." Joel let out a quick laugh with a look of slight amusement and disgust. "What? I mean I would've shit pants. I would've even screamed it out loud."
"Y/n..."Joel cracked up some, trying to keep himself from bursting out in laughter by hiding his face in his shoulder. "That is a stupid thing to do."
"Hey at least everyone would feel ok to admit it as well."
Joel just couldn't help but imagining that scenario playing out. One guy screaming it first, creating a domino effect where everyone around just begins to say it too. The absurdity of a situation like that only made it funnier to Joel as he failed to hide his laugh. For a guy who hid his emotions a lot, his silent giggles were quite contagious.
You chuckle along with him asking, "What?"
The older man couldn't get a word out to respond, his face turning redder by the second. He buried his face in his palm and continued to laugh, trying hard to get it out of his head. There was no use, you had put that image in his head and was now irreversible. Both of you went on for almost a full minute before your amusement began to subside.
Joel was the last of the two to pull himself together, sniffing and clearing his throat up to gain control of himself. The silence before that plague the air was now back, only this time, things felt a lot more comfortable. Having Joel there, and the fact that he was a lot more loose played into it. You wished the man was like that more often. Sadly though you knew you needed as much rest as you could get. Tomorrow was undetermined, so it pained you to have to cut your time with Joel short.
"Alright Joel, we should probably head back in now", you suggested, removing your arms from the rails to stretch them out.
Joel nods, "Yeah we should," he really didn't want to. His voice shivered a bit with hints of disappointment. As you were beginning to walk past him, Joel thought about today...what Henry had told him. 'He may not be yours...but you were someone's at some point'. His longing for someone else, was that desire so obvious that a stranger like Henry could figure it out so quickly? Is that the way he treated you, like his partner? The prospect brought Joel brief happiness before thinking about the possibility of you getting killed. A reasonable fear given the world they were in, but Joel wagered the odds. Would he rather you die without ever telling you how he feels, or have you know he much he cared about you before you pass.
The ladder seemed like Joel's choice in the end cause before you could make it fully pass him he says your name. You stop in place directly behind Joel who still faced the open air. You let out a questioning hum, awaiting a reply.
Joel took a moment to collect his thoughts, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. Due to time and their environment, he wasn't as smooth as he use to like back in his earlier years. He begins by saying, "Thank you", turning his head enough to see your figure behind him, but keeping his posture still.
You tilt your head slightly, "For...?"
Joel fully turns to you, "For everything. Your support, your extra hands, protectin' Ellie...just sticking by us through all this madness".
That to you was a bit unexpected, but you weren't going to turn down some appreciation from Joel of all people. You took the praise with a gentle smile on your face, "Of course."
The older man's eyes lingered with yours for sometime. Both of you had a soft gaze, just observing and expecting the other to say something. Joel was the first to react, stepping forward he inches closer to you, comfortable in doing so since you weren't changing your expression or moving. His eyes then traced over to your lips, looking at them before gazing down at his boots. Joel was oblivious to how tense things were. Sure stalling gave him time to figure out his next move, but he couldn't hold out forever.
Locking eyes with you once more, he was met with a gentle look that nearly sent him over the edge.
You couldn't help but say his name in a near whispering tone, "Joel."
By then, Joel felt he could tell you everything, tell you how much you meant to him. But words wouldn't do his emotions justice. He knew one thing would say all he wanted with one action.
Joel steps within a foot of range from you, his hands grabbing both sides of your face and leaning in for a kiss. He inhales, surprised by how soft your lips were when making contact. He initially wanted to keep the kiss to be brief, but it turned out to be much deeper with you kissing him back.
Upon parting from your lips, Joel traces his hands down your chest and all the way down to your hips, getting ready to speak. You were quick then to pull him back in for more, grappling onto the collar of his jacket and locking your lips back together. Joel lets out a heavy sigh into the kiss, grateful that you didn't want it to stop.
The older man wrapped his arms around the small of your back, reeling you in until you were chest to chest. The man's heart was racing, you could feel it pounding against your shirt, just as fast as yours was going. You guessed the man really did have a heart under all that thick skin, is if the moment didn't already confirmed that.
Your arm ran around Joel's shoulder to get a grip the back of his smooth grey hair. Gripping him causes him to moan; loudly. He could feel you smiling into the kiss as you both continued basking in each other's taste. Joel took the initiative and bites softly into your bottom lip to get a reaction out of you. On queue, you groan separating your lips from him.
Heads still close together you speak, "Don't infect me now".
Joel bites his lips, âYou want me to?â His voice turned devious, like he had something theyâll make you infatuated by him. You were curious, what did this man have in store for you?
You might end up regretting it later but saying ânoâ meant missing out. You reply with a breathily, âYeah,â hands still playing with Joelâs hair. The man didnât say a word, he began kissing your cheek and trailed all the way down to your neck. You had lowered your arm so that he had room to bury his face inside. Joel started off gentle but was now starting to become more passionate with him introducing his tongue. It made you quiver, your hands grabbing onto his arms that held your hips tightly. You tried your best to keep your voice low, but between Joelâs warm breath and his repetitive licks, it became impossible to hide.
Joel, mere seconds away from nibbling on your skin, is stopped by a sudden rattling noise. His hand quickly grabs his holster, retreating from the small of your neck. Both of your attention's are now down the hall, awaiting the sound to return. It did, and when one of the motel doors opened, you two relaxed when Henry stepped out from within.
Henry lets out a quick, âOhâŚâ realizing that he might be intruding once seeing Joelâs hand on your hip, âSorryâŚsorry I got worried.â
Joel lets out a sigh, taking his other hand off his holstered. âThought you were in bed.â
âThe door wasnât locked and neither of you were back yet, so I just wanted to check,â he replies.
Slightly annoyed Joel comments, âVery kind of you,â not giving the other man much room to response.
You could tell the poor wanted to get out of your hair. You thankfully reassure him, âItâs alright, Henry. We were just about to head back in.â
Henry nods, âRight,â taking his chance to remove himself from the awkward situation by heading inside.
You and Joel look at each other, both still needy for each other but tired nonetheless. With that desire for you still lingering in Joelâs eyes, you pat the man on the chest offering a suggestion. âSo, wanna continue this next time?â
Joel thought for a second, that you were just sending Henry away so that things could proceed between the two of you. You actually meant it though, bringing some level of disappointment to Joel. But the smile you had on your face, no way he could say no to you. Joel simply smiles back agreeing, âNext time it is.â
#joel miller x male reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel tlou#tlou#the last of us#the last of us hbo#ellie tlou#henry and sam#pedro pascal
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Guys everythingâs fine. No more tears ok? The four of them are all going to Wyoming together. Ok, so maybe Henry and Sam just went ahead there thatâs why we wonât be seeing them for the rest of the season.
But Iâm so glad with what milestones they achieved today! Surviving a hoard of zombie, militant maniacs, and making friends likeâ Joel found an Actual Adult Friend with Henry now! Sam and Ellie bonding over their fave comic books. Itâs fine. Everythingâs ok. đ
Itâs the four of them against the world. đđđđź
Everything is ok. đđđ
#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#joel miller#ellie williams#ellie miller#pedro pascal#bella ramsey#henry and sam#are alive#wtf r u crying about#everything is fine
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