#Hell I've *lived* in some very dysfunctional living spaces.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Just your average male living space.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[noel-levine-fan]

noel & isolation

i've mentioned this several times before but i wanted to make a post solely about this going into it more in depth

warning: looong

i've thought a lot about how isolated noel is from the world. like... when he was with nicholas, he was forbidden from leaving the house... then, he got sent to hell, which he literally could not leave unless to go to the mansion, but he almost never did unless to scare intruders away... maybe you could say before his mother died, he might've been less isolated... but i think he was probably pretty isolated then to, due to my headcanons (those headcanons are probably better reserved for another post*). despite being an adult, i feel noel probably doesn't have most of the experiences that the other humans in the mansion have had

* but even if they turn out to be disproven in the future i think my point still stands generally, considering this would only be a few barely remembered years, you can replace some of the assumed "he's never done [x]" with "he might've done [x] once when he was 6" and the point still pretty much stands

first of all, people. noel has never been around that many people, except when he saw the witch hunt. in fact, my thought is, besides the witch hunt, the parts of bonus stage where the demons all enter the mansion is probably the first time he's even been in a space with that number of people before. i feel like if you threw him into society he'd have a very hard time coping with the sheer amount of people everywhere because he just hasn't seen that many people aside from a rather traumatizing circumstance.

second of all, socialization. this ties into the people thing, but if we look at the examples he has for relationships, they're... not exactly ideal. his father, well. yeah. claire and sirius are better, but he also interacted with them when he was an 11 year old presenting as a girl, so, the experience in such a case might not really be that useful for living life as an adult man, though it's better than nothing. then there's the demons, which... i love them but we all know they're not ideal in the slightest. the purebreds don't get humans, the haters are very dysfunctional, all of them are kind of into seeing humans suffer and. noel is. a human. (mostly.) all of them are also, i imagine, pretty out of touch with human society and social expectations. i would say i'm honestly a little surprised noel isn't a total mess that doesn't understand how to interact with others but considering he's repeated this thousands of times he's probably learned pretty well what makes people go "huh??" and what doesn't. if at the beginning of the loop he was a complete cringefail who didn't really know how to talk to people i would not be surprised. it's both funny and sad that the timeloop is possibly the best experience he's had to prepare him to be able to socialize with people because that's an extremely narrow set of repeating experiences, which is also better than nothing, but like, if you actually put him out there, he'd probably end up in a lot of new situations where he wouldn't know what to do or how to behave.

third, life experience. noel doesn't understand the value of money and has never had to cook for himself, but also, just hasn't had a very wide set of experiences in general. like, noel has never gone to a grocery store, never been to a library, never had a stable relationship that lasted more than a few months aside from the demons but i don't really count them as stable (and his mom but but he only probably remembers a couple years of that considering he would've been very young for most of that time), and in general probably doesn't know a lot of things about the way the world and society in general function. this is another thing where i wouldn't be surprised if he said things that made him seem very out of touch with the world at the beginning of the loop which largely got filtered out as he learned what not to say. i do think noel would have a hard time sustaining himself if you put him into the world however, considering especially him not really understanding money and not being able to make food.

fourth, space. the most spacious place noel has been is the forest in the woods. and to be fair that's quite a bit of space. but he's never actually been... Anywhere in the world except his home, the mansion, and the woods in between (and a small part of the town, briefly). he's been in hell most of this time. i feel like going on a long travel might be pretty disorienting because i'm sure he knows how big the world is in concept but it might surprise him to actually see how much space exists. not to mention i feel like being stuck in the same place for. as someone put it, an entire human lifetime (since the timeloop is estimated to have lasted about 82 years by me) might... warp your perception of space as it exists? (i wouldn't be surprised if his idea of time would probably be pretty warped too.)

it's just so interesting to me how disconnected noel is from human society, and that no matter how well mannered he is or how well he can play a part, he fundamentally does not understand the world in the same way the other humans do. sure, they all think differently about the world and space and time from one another, but they all have a lot of shared experience noel does not. (they're also all isolated in one way or another - sirius is the one who comes most close to the same amount of isolation, but sirius still knows how to make food for himself and goes to the store and sells stuff.)

this is a bit of an aside, but i always wondered how lime could justify thinking she'll make noel understand her by making him suffer when his life just wasn't as bad by her standards. she even points this out herself sometimes. like, noel has happy memories. noel loved and was loved. and even if she had somehow broke him, he'd never understand her in the way she wanted to be understood because of that. this warrants a post of its own because i really find their relationship super interesting. however a small part of it may be lime's obsession with choice. "you had the choice to live a better life, you had the choice to go wherever you wanted and do whatever you wanted to do."

while noel has had many more choices than lime did when she was alive, a lot of that isn't true for him. noel never had the choice to just leave whatever situation he was in and go live his life. noel had a shitty life and then he went to hell and is incapable of leaving. he could never choose to just go somewhere else, to live amongst others, to see the world, to leave it all behind. he never found out so many things about the world and the way it looks and functions and would be unprepared for it if he was put there. that's a lot like lime. she couldn't choose, and now can't imagine a life outside the one she has because she never had those experiences. and honestly, i think that is a way in which they could understand each other, even if it was worse in lime's case. there are certainly a lot of cases in which noel chooses things that actively make his life worse (choosing to isolate himself from sirius, choosing to loop over and over), but even if he hadn't made those choices, he'd still have such a narrow view of the world, and still wouldn't be able to choose to just go live life, to go see things. can lime honestly say she would've lived his life better? in some ways, yes. as mentioned, the timeloop was totally his choice. but i think it'd be harder to say that for him than for others when it comes to the overall trend of his life. (honestly, even lime has more choice in this area now. lime can go out into the world now if she wants to. noel cannot.) this might be part of what she sees in him as far as understanding.

in general it's sad that various aspects of lime are shared with other characters. sirius's jealousy of others, the "how come everyone else got to be happy," noel's isolation, charlotte's hatred of humanity. i'm sure there's more.

while thinking about this, it feels honestly understandable he looped so much. because... what else does noel have going for him? his life in hell was probably fine, i mean aside from the monster stuff (which was almost certainly WAY less bad than how it was in the game) and maybe the demons bothering him it was probably peaceful enough. but he also is never going to see the world, never have a real relationship with a human again, never... yeah. and the fact that this was preceded by an endlessly horrible situation and that's most of his experience of life... i don't think he looped because he thought it'd be a better life experience - in fact i think it was probably a lot worse than his time in hell and he didn't even get to develop any relationships because he only has 5 days max with anyone - but i think you can understand how someone with so little would feel like nothing matters if claire isn't there, understand why he continues to do all this when there's not much else for him, when his world is otherwise so empty. though i do think it was mainly out of devotion, that's another thing i think about too.

i just love the idea of him having to go out into the world, having to learn new things and have new experiences, but more importantly, having a fuller life and a fuller world. it'd be very hard for him i'm sure, but i'd like that for him...

[delicatebluebirdruins]

rabies and the tvirus

Symptoms of rabies from the NHS website

Symptoms of rabies usually take 3 to 12 weeks to appear, but they can appear after a few days or not for several months or years.

Symptoms include:

numbness or tingling where you were bitten or scratched

seeing things that are not there (hallucinations)

feeling very anxious or energetic

difficulty swallowing or breathing

being unable to move (paralysis)

Once symptoms appear, rabies is almost always fatal.

list from the CDC with more information

After a rabies exposure, the rabies virus has to travel to the brain before it can cause symptoms. This time between exposure and appearance of symptoms is the incubation period. It may last for weeks to months. The incubation period may vary based on the location of the exposure site (how far away it is from the brain), the type of rabies virus, and any existing immunity.

The first symptoms of rabies may be similar to the flu, including weakness or discomfort, fever, or headache. There also may be discomfort, prickling, or an itching sensation at the site of the bite. These symptoms may last for days.

Symptoms then progress to cerebral dysfunction, anxiety, confusion, and agitation. As the disease progresses, the person may experience delirium, abnormal behavior, hallucinations, hydrophobia (fear of water), and insomnia. The acute period of disease typically ends after 2 to 10 days. Once clinical signs of rabies appear, the disease is nearly always fatal, and treatment is typically supportive. Less than 20 cases of human survival from clinical rabies have been documented. Only a few survivors had no history of pre- or postexposure prophylaxis.

Resident evil 1 files

keepers diary May 10th 1998: Today, a high ranking researcher asked me to take care of a new monster. It looks like a gorilla without any skin. They told me to feed them live food. When I threw in a pig, they were playing with it... tearing off the pig's legs and pulling out the guts before they actually ate it. May 11th 1998: Around 5 o'clock this morning, Scott came in and woke me up suddenly. He was wearing a protective suit that looks like a space suit. He told me to put one on as well. I heard there was an accident in the basement lab. It's no wonder, those researchers never rest, even at night. May 12th 1998: I've been wearing this annoying space suit since yesterday, my skin grows musty and feels very itchy. By way of revenge, I didn't feed those dogs today. Now I feel better. May 13th 1998 I went to the medical room because my back is all swollen and feels itchy. They put a big bandage on my back and the doctor told me I did not need to wear the space suit any more. I guess I can sleep well tonight. May 14th 1998 When I woke up this morning, I found another blister on my foot. It was annoying and I ended up dragging my foot as I went to the dog's pen. They have been quiet since morning, which is very unusual. I found that some of them had escaped. I'll be in real trouble if the higher-ups find out. May 16th 1998 I heard a researcher who tried to escape from this mansion was shot last night. My entire body feels burning and itchy at night. When I was scratching the swelling on my arms, a lump of rotten flesh dropped off. What the hell is happening to me? May 19, 1998 Fever gone but itchy. Hungry and eat doggy food. Itchy itchy Scott came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty. 4 Itchy. Tasty.

researchers will

...Even as I write, I can feel the simplest of concepts slipping away, lost to feelings of despair and confusion - but I have to tell you what's in my heart before I can rest. Alma, please believe that what I'm telling you is the truth. The entire story would take hours for me to tell you, and time is short, so accept these things as fact: last month there was an accident in the lab and the virus we were studying leaked.

All my colleagues who were infected are dead or dying, and the nature of the disease is such that those still living have lost their senses. This virus robs its victims of their humanity, forcing them in their sickness to seek out and destroy life.

Even as I write these words, I can hear them, pressing against my door like mindless, hungry animals. Alma, I have tried to survive only to see you again. But my efforts only delayed the inevitable; I am infected, and there is no cure for what will follow - except to end my life before I lose the only thing that separates me from them. My love for you.

bonus RE3R Jill's report

September 26, 1998

It's already been two months since that mess with Umbrella. Thanks to the suspension, investigations haven't progressed exactly as I'd hoped. Perhaps this written record of what I've found will prove to be my final duty as a S.T.A.R.S. officer… I can only hope that it helps lead to the truth.

The T-Virus

Those infected by this virus seem to become literal zombies. It appears to be communicable via several different avenues, outlined below:

Bite from an infected individual, allowing the mixing of bodily fluids

Contact with crows which have eaten infected carrion

Due to the strength of the virus, airborne infection cannot be discounted

It should be noted that those who survived the incident have not yet developed symptoms.

It's unclear whether this is because the virus has a long incubation period, or because we just happened to be resistant to the infection. We ought to remain vigilant, even after this investigation period ends.

As for me—aside from my minor difficulties sleeping—I seem to be in fine shape. Still, I shouldn't get too hopeful. After all, this could just be an extended incubation.

[suhacidal]

hello

it's been so long since i've spoke on here. i do apologize, to myself, for falling out of a practice that is so healing and transformative for me. now i am taking the time to sit and honor my need of expression, regardless of what is taking place around me.

so, here we are, in the last (full) weekend of the month. i can't say i'm shocked by how alarmingly fast the time has flew, because it was just mid-july, and i was celebrating life to the fullest. i started mones, flew back to my former state to party (and see the oomf-ilf...but that didn't happen), and spend time with my dysfunctional family.

now it's september. it's been a month at my new job, two months on mones, five months sober. alot to take in, really! this weekend, i was supposed to be spending time with my mother and sibling, but circumstances arose for that to be rescheduled (to my ultimate surprise). i think it was a necessary shift, given this would be the first extended period of time i've had off from work since starting. if they were still to have visited, i fear we all would've been miserable! so instead, i've been perpetually cleaning my room, which i think can be classified as my own personal hell. i can say i have been doing this task for the past several months, seemingly making little to no progress, regardless of the long, laborious hours that were allocated for completion. alongside that, the weekend has been spent battling lengthy bouts of anxiety and mania! it's safe to say that they are WINNING. i am getting my ass whooped severely in this battle. nonetheless, here i stand, living to tell my story.

i think the recent manic-induced depressiveness (or depression-induced mania) can be chopped up to 3 things:

my new job. so, i began working a new job in late august, which i am so grateful for! i quite literally asked for this job. i went in, looked around, and asked if they were hiring. to my surprise, i was greeted by the store manager with an application and on-the-spot interview! that day was overall amazing. my interactions with strangers were much friendlier than usual, and the consistent vibe for the day was abundance. abundance of smiles, abundance of opportunity, abundance of amazing experiences. this i thought would set the tone for my work interactions and environment, especially given that the manager i spoke to almost immediately asked for my pronouns. i would love to live in a world where that is the norm, regardless of presentation. me being very visibly queer was obviously going to warrant some confusion and curiosity, so i let it be. fast forward to me starting, my first day was great! the customers were eating me up, i was learning the registers (this is a retail job btw), and i had not one bad interaction. that was until we were near close and i was standing with my manager as she talked to a customer. she began introducing me while in the same breath misgendering me. now...as previously stated, i truly understand the confusion, but she asked me my pronouns. it kind of rolled off my back, especially since she immediately corrected herself. she started apologizing to me and said that she "slipped". this statement stuck with me. because, is that how you actually think of me? in the vain of which i was misgendered; is that actually what you see? and not the identity i was vulnerable enough to come to you as--the one you sought out of me? i tried my best not to spiral and allow grace for mistakes and growth within this new environment; an environment that is not mostly or all queer like i'm used to. this would have been a sentiment i held onto if that was the only time this happened. my manager proceeded to misgender me again, as well as most of my coworkers. i was flabbergasted at this point and heavily considered tendering my resignation. i very obviously am not respected in that space or being regarded as the individual that i am, so why should i stay? the thought has been on my mind for a moment now, and i've been trying to devise a plan to make sure i'm not jumping ship with no lifeboat. needless to say the entire debacle has significantly impacted my mental health. this is without considering the interactions with customers. their perceptions of me can range from one thing to another instantly, no matter how i'm dressed, no matter how i sound, no matter how i begin to perform what i think will appease their curiosity around how to approach me. it's all very tiring and has made me question the basis of disregarding my wellbeing for the sake of money, and even partially for the sake of social interactions. i truly don't know where to go with this one.

hormones. now, this one is a more modern realization. i've been going back and forth and back and forth on what could possibly be perplexing me so, only to realize the massive emotional shift i'm undergoing. it was much more obviously felt within the first few weeks of taking them, but i feel now the noticeability has faded into the background. as with anything that becomes a routine, i've grown used to the thoughts and emotions that have became amplified by the presence of hormones. it's taken quite the toll on me, honestly. i can't lay in bed most days like i'd like to. i feel as if i have to put on a mask and perform for a crowd of people every day. i've began to be more assertive and possibly mean within my interactions because i felt as if i was just being pushed over. never in conversations around gender, though. whatever the customers perceive me as is their business. although, i am growing weary of the polarizing views. but i'm guessing that's something i'll have to learn to live with...? i don't know.

the looming, overarching shadow of dread casted by responsibilities i've yet to attend. there are alot of things in this world i'd like to do. attend to these responsibilities is not one of them, however i know i must to live worry-free. well...worry-free of these responsibilities. there is so many other things i have to focus my worries on, and these do not need to be taking up so much space. almost 70% of the responsibilities consist of facing emotional traumas in regards to my parents. another reason i was so grateful for the opportunity to be alone this weekend is because of the strange relationship i hold with my mother. yes, i love her, and yes, we ki down very often, but there is alot to be addressed within our dynamic that has been left unacknowledged or simply unspoken. her perception of me aligns with those that are convoluted by societal definitions of gender norms, which obviously creates some distance. i do my best to give transparency and vulnerability despite this major character flaw. i've explained to her the meaning of nonbinary, just not in my case scenario. i just don't know what's to come of it when i do finally demand respect. i know it needs to happen ASAP especially because...what have i got to lose? besides the odd relationship where alot goes unsaid, my livelihood is not at stake for me standing in my authenticity and claiming visibility in front of my parents. i don't know why i act as if it's life or death for me in this situation. the whole thing has been bothering me for quite some time now, and even more so with the progression of physical changes induced by hormones.

another thing i forgot to mention in my first point is the newfound access to recurring deposits of money. it's convinced me that the world is at my fingertips and i can spend my whole check in a week without batting an eye. i know my first few checks went to rent, but the last one, i couldn't tell you. actually, yes i can--that one went to bills as well. it's unfortunate that living in this world means working to survive. not to rest or reap the fruits of your labor, of course! i've been compulsively shopping with what i have left from squandering on bills. the manic spending of money has made things more dreadful for me, because i'd like to save. i've been too deep in the "live like it's your last" mindset for a while now and it's time for a change. i cannot say i'm completely disappointed with those decisions (i acquired some cool stuff), but i could be doing much better and living wiser without the see it, want it, have it attitude.

the main thing keeping me afloat right now is another planned trip back to my former state, this time specifically to reunite with oomf. also for a friend's wedding, but that's tbd. the details were given to me in passing and forgive me if i don't remember the very vague sentiments that were expressed. this friend also doesn't talk to me often, or at all for that matter! we may have exchanged one or two conversations since i moved. mind you, this person was a best friend to me, so imagine my shock when i was left on delivered for months. anyway, a trip away from the usual humdrum of life always gets me going, and this time i actually will get to stay with my oomfita. things have been rocky for us lately, so i'm kinda riding on this trip to provide us with some stability, and maybe even deeper connection. it's going to be their birthday so i'm hoping to make it very special. (me being there should be special enough...just saying.)

i can truthfully say that sitting down and intentionally dedicating time to write and express has lifted a weight off of my shoulders, and tended to some of the overwhelming anxiety that has been plaguing me for who knows how long! i must do better at holding myself accountable to talking/writing, even if there isn't much to say. i also have to give thanks to the soundbath i've been listening to the entire time i've given correspondence. it's been itching my brain in all the right ways. i just feel very zen and very light, finally releasing so many thoughts that have been with me for so long. i thank myself for getting up here, because i know it was not easy. i am excited to come and visit again tomorrow. hopefully with some prompts!

[beingdreeyore]

I had a long heart to heart with a dear dance friend yesterday afternoon.

It was a rough dance class for me. I'm having difficulty adjusting to what I lost in the six months I was away and also the weight I gained. Rational mind knows it's a journey to rebuild and that I was going to be starting further back than when I left. Emotional brain is stuck on how hard I worked to move past injuries and to progress and it just got taken away from me for what may have been the worst six months of my life. This will be my fourth rebuild and I've only been dancing for ~12 months (if you take away the time away, the lockdowns, and the periods I was too injured). It's hard not to feel bruised by that. Love is Blind, despite being a trash television show, is also bringing up some things for me.

But we talked about life and love and dance. Everything, really.

She was saying, in a roundabout way, that she doesn't know if she can be truly happy without a man. I chose my words carefully before responding to her, both because I didn't want to upset her and also because I wanted to make sure I truly believed what I was saying.

As I get older, the more time I spend alone, and the more I watch dysfunctional and toxic behaviours in the relationships around me, the more I honestly believe that rather than working to find someone to find happiness, you need to just work on happiness solo. Despite what you read here and despite my current depression, I'm not an unhappy person. Even with the ongoing mess that is my health, even with the stuff from my past, even with those six months in hell, even with the damage that men have inflicted on me. I'm just not an unhappy person.

I work at it though. Daily. I follow a lot of the DBT philosophy on how to build a life worth living and I believe that it works. The basics are a big theme - seek out connection, physical activity and good nutrition, build a space you want to come home to, give to others, and always try to lead your life with grace and kindness. Don't expect others to fix or heal you. I don't always get it right, but I make an effort every day. When I find I've lost my path, I go back to yoga as a physical and spiritual base, and I revisit my books on Buddhist teachings. I'm raised Catholic, but I find a lot of peace in Buddhist philosophy. Again, it's something that is scooped heavily into DBT.

There are things in my life I would change. If I had my way, I wouldn't be a doctor. I'd be a writer, but I just don't have the talent to make a career of it, so medicine it is. I'd have a partner, but I've learned to navigate life so successfully solo that sometimes the idea of having to learn to share it again actually panics me ("What do you even do with a boyfriend? How often do you need to feed them?" I often joke to my friends). My new illness of course takes away some happy moments, but I'm finding adjustments I can make to my lifestyle that help reduce its impact on me. And in my darkest moments I make sure I dance, even when I'm so injured I can barely do more than a two-step. I know right now I continue to be in the grips of depression after the events of last year, including still grieving the loss of my most significant relationship, someone I had and continue to have so much love for, but I laugh every day and try to make the people around me laugh.

My point to her was that, as much as I truly want to share my life with someone, I don't believe problems go away just because there is someone there. Very few people suddenly cure their insecurity just because they have someone who wants to be in a relationship with them. Unhappy people tend to continue being unhappy even if they have the most amazing partner. Your childhood trauma won't disappear just because someone other than a barista wants to make you coffee every morning. Relationships should be the sprinkles on top of an already happy existence, not the foundation.

I overstated my point there, I know, and I don't know if I got through to her. But it felt important to say. It felt important to be that annoying voice that hammers away at that message. Some of us do have to work harder than others to find happiness - whether its because our brains don't get the chemicals right or because we've had more adversity - but that doesn't mean it's impossible to find.

This also serves as an important reminder to myself on a day like today when the actor is back to playing his games and I'm feeling the loneliness of a solo life more than normal. Happiness isn't achieved with a relationship, as frustrating as it can be at times, that one is entirely up to me. And I'm happy here, even if I am on my own, and I'm happier solo than I am with the wrong person.

[solarcitymelodies]

Wowza sorry y'all about the random massive Rockafire spam, I'm pretty sure ??most?? People on here? know me for just Knight Rider because that's the only thing I've ever REALLY posted about--

but I Do Not Care it's RAE hours right now so uhhh here's some headcannons that probably aren't Canon compliant very much because I just got into RAE like last week

So like. I feel like Mitzi is a Good Amount younger than the rest of the band like she was in highschool when she joined, the rest of em were all Adults™ and she was a little bit nervous about it because...... ADULTS™

She was just lookin for a place to get her singing voice out there, because ya girl REALLY wanted to perform, and showbiz happened to have a slot open, but she did not expect all of the members to be older than her (although looking back, she realized she probably should have expected that)

It was intimidating at first but Billy Bob and Fatz were just the absolute sweetest and they introduced her properly to the rest of the band because she was like "oh I barely talk to them because I get nervous :(" and the resident dads p much said "aight we can do all the talking for you then, how about that?" And badabing badaboom she's now attached to these two and like honestly who isn't or maybe that's just me but ANYWAYS I feel like the band would become a second home/safe space for her

Yeah fr some reason I have BIG long headcannon for her joining the band but the rest of them? Nobody knows how they got there for all I know they just Showed Up One Day

Also I came across this

https://youtu.be/UU7BeUWQBDI

Which got me thinkin about what my headcannons were as far as sexuality/gender stuff

And I find the concept of Billy Bob being Very Much Straight And Ignorant but trying his hardest to be a good ally SO funny like if someone came out to him he'd probably be like "oh!! I don't understand why you would choose that lifestyle but I respect you!!" not realizing how incredibly stupid he sounds sjkrjh like I don't think he can very easily wrap his head around how people are just. not cishet. so he's like "OH then it must be a choice, right? like you can choose to be gay but you're born straight. Right?" and everyone just shakes their heads in the background but he does earnestly try his best and my man would rather DIE than disrespect someone's pronouns I know this for sure

Fatz is pretty similar, straight ally and a lil confused but he's got the spirit, you know? He still least knows being gay (as well as,,, m o s t sexualities that aren't straight, although some he doesn't get/know about at all) isn't a choice but he hasn't quite grasped that being trans is also not a choice. He will respect your pronouns to hell and back but by god he doesn't get it,,, he's trying though and he feels very accomplished in himself that he's starting to get the hang of using they/them even though he slips up a lot

The rest of the band encourages the HELL out of these two because they're. Trying their best and making an honest effort which is more than a pretty good chunk of people would give

Rolfe, Earl, and Dook are the reasons Billy Bob and Fatz are trying so hard to understand it lmao

Rolfe took it upon himself to hang up a MASSIVE gay pride flag backstage, being the flaming homosexual that he is, and the rest of the squad quickly realized "oh he's GAY gay he wasn't kidding" because at first they literally thought he was joking as he was actually just being openly and obnoxiously a raging mlm (and like I mean no shade to him this isn't me tryna to make fun of it because my dumb sapphic ass almost crashed my car once because I saw a pretty girl walk down the street. And by "once" I mean. Yesterday.) Anyways yeah that's when the rest of em Realized and were like "OH" but after the massive pride flag was hung up that prompted Dook to come out and they were all like "???? YOU TOO????"

Dook is a non-binary ICON he's a demiboy and goes by both he/him and they/them and probably would have a bunch of pride pins I think,,, I'm not really sure of his sexuality though!! honestly he kinda gives me bisexual vibes but Who Knows . Not me. He has a HELL of a time trying to explain his gender to the rest of the band (except for Rolfe because like. He's a part of the community so he knows) and basically he was met with "so you're just a dude but ✨spicy✨?" and it was like, "no, but I have no idea how to explain it in a way that will make sense to you, so. yes?" And that explanation seemed to suffice for most of them

Mitzi went in knowing NOTHING about what being non-binary was so she asked a l o t of questions about it, which Dook just kinda dealt with answering (he's heard most of it before, and it gets tiring after a while. if you're nb or trans or honestly any part of LGBTQ+ you know what I mean) but he thought it was really sweet of her to be so determined to learn about it and eventually she did get a grasp on it ish, so she was able to understand why it wasn't just ✨spicy male✨ (the conversation pretty much went "well if i was just male, don't you think I would label myself that way instead?" "....oH TRUE!!!") and she ended up a VERY passionate ally, and she'll ask occasionally about how to be better at it, bein a queen as she is 👉👉 also definitely started questioning her sexuality after a while and just went with "maybe bicurious" and Rolfe, Dook, and Earl were all like "ONE OF US, ONE OF US"

Earl has never once spoken about his sexuality in his life, because 1. He's very aware that's an awkward conversation to have with a puppet, and 2. He's aroace anyways, which is basically what people assume even if they don't realize it just for their own peace of mind, because seriously, puppets and any identity that ISN'T aroace creates a really uncomfortable mental image for... Most people, pretty much. So it's not like he ever needed to say anything about it, which is convenient for him because he wouldn't want to say anything either way. not worth the risk of embarrassing himself and making everyone feel awkward

(side note ish though Rolfe 100% came out to Earl first and was met with "I already knew that but okay." Rolfe was mildly offended)

And spEAKING OF EARL he's VERY much sentient but he can't say he's particularly enthusiastic about it because Rolfe has to carry him around everywhere

He can move on his own but it's limited and generally annoying to maneuver around with his tiny body so he just says screw it half the time and stays on Rolfe's arm or hitch a ride on Random Object, but like... Yeah, the majority of the time Rolfe just has to deal with only having one arm available and a puppet directly next to him making fun of him at every possible chance

They high-key have chaotic and unorganized college roommate vibes (like they're actually roommates because... Where tf is Earl supposed to go?? So Rolfe took him in) and idk if this is really like a part of my headcannons or if I just think it's funny so I keep entertaining the idea of it but I think it would be Fantastic if Rolfe had no idea how to cook but Earl somehow did so this idiot is trying to take instructions from a puppet, who can't physically show him what to do, and it's like Hell's Kitchen live featuring a furry and a sentient stuffed animal

Aaaaamd going off of my Rolfe and Earl headcannons still Rolfe for SURE has some sort of executive dysfunction issue. ADD or ADHD I'm not sure (probably ADHD) but he definitely has it also this totally isn't just me projecting how dare you accuse me of that

And!!! More about Dook!!!! I don't know how or why I thought up of this but I cannot possibly imagine him any other way now-- he's autistic and space is his Big Huge special interest, and if you ever ask him about it you have to be prepared to get infodumped or possibly even shown a PowerPoint presentation, because GOD he loves space!!! He wants everyone to know all about it!! He knows not everyone thinks it's as cool as he does so he tries to keep his mouth shut but when someone asks about it he can't help himself and will infodump a LOT, also haha drumming stims go brrrr, playing the drums isn't really a stim but he likes to just take his drumsticks and whack em around in the air and get that good ol Wavy Arm Action (wavy arms is best stim change my mind you can't it's GOOD)

Also i bbbbelieve earlier I reposted somethin about someone else headcannoning that he has echolalia, which I don't really know enough about to say anything on it?? But even if he doesn't have echolalia he'd probably repeat phrases over and over until he gets tired of them (which is,,, something I do lmao, it's either memes I get stuck in my head or things I've heard from various medias I like the inflections in (like one tiktokker I saw was talking about their tourettes and their vocal tics and one of them was "uh oh! How unfortunate!" and now I CAN'T STOP SAYING IT)) but like uhhh yeah :))) repeating phrases that get stuck in your head for various reasons for the win

This is already really long so I'm just gonna vibe out thanks for coming to my Ted talk feel free to ask questions I probably won't be able to answer a lot of em though because my headcannons are a Mess hehe >:)

[mikkeneko]

#The worst part of drawing this comic is that I've seen so much worse. This is a livable space.#I've helped out friends and family who were struggling and let me just say...I have seen some pretty dysfunctional living spaces.#Hell I've *lived* in some very dysfunctional living spaces.#By the way: I want to steer away from shaming people who have messy homes/rooms because life *does* hit hard sometimes.#My love language is coming into your home to do your dishes and do some housework. Don't apologize for the mess king.#Nothing could top some of the places I've had to help my older siblings out of.

Just your average male living space.

[First] Prev <–-> Next