Smeyer is obsessed with teenagers fr
So, after seeing this post by @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis, I ended up going through the Illustrated Guide a bit more thoroughly to look at the ages of all the Twilight Vamps when they were turned. It's a bit creepy honestly, and the woman the woman is for sure not trying to hide her knks with these mostly teenagers.
And i dunno, quick fic info sheet if it helps anyone 🤷♀️
Edward – 17
Bella – 18
Alice – 19
Jasper – 19
Emmett – 20
Rosalie – 18
Esme – 26
Carlisle – ‘Approximately’ 23. I would like to take the time to mention that people did know the date when he was alive, so the fact Carlisle canonly doesn’t know his exact age is ridiculous. AND ALSO the London sewers had not been created at this time, so how was he killed by sewer vamps smeyer!?
Victoria – Born in the 1550s, transformed late 1560s, at around 18.
James – Born around 1780, turned around 1805, making him about 25. 🚩
Laurent – DOB 1700s, turned around 1740s at about 40.
Eleazar - DOB 1700s. Transformed in 1700s.
Carmen – DOB 1700s. Transformed in 1700s. Lazy writing. 🙄
Irina – DOB 1000s. Transformed 1000s.
Kate (full name Katrina I just learnt) - DOB 1000s. Transformed 1000s.
Tanya - DOB 1000s. Transformed 1000s. We get it smeyer, you can't be bothered...
Garrett – DOB mid 1700’s. Transformed around 1780. Won’t lie. I read that wrong at first and thought he was 80 for a sec…
There is not really any info on the girl’s mother, Sasha, that isn’t in the books, but the immortal child, Vasilii, she created was 3.
Aro – Ok, so the guide says ‘Born around 1300 BC’ and ‘Transformed around 1260 BC’ But at the bottom of the same page says he was ‘transformed in his mid-20’s’ so ????
Marcus – ‘Transformed before he was 20’ But at the top of the page has his DOB as ‘Around 1350 B.C’ and his date of transformation ‘Unknown’… Like girl can you not do simple math!?
Caius – Late 40’s. But same as Marcus, has a DOB but and unknown date for his transformation.
Sulpicia – Described as a ‘lovely young orphan’ 😶
Didyme – No age, but is younger than Aro.
Athenodora – No real description, was already turned when she met Caius.
Alec – 12 or 13
Jane – 12 or 13
Demetri – DOB around 1000 AD. Transformation after 1000 AD. Thanks smeyer, very helpful.
Felix – Mans got no birthdays 😔
Heidi – DOB before 1550. Transformed before 1550. Yup, ‘before’ on both dates. How can this woman give everyone an exact height, but lose interest with the birthdays? You size-kink is showing smeyer.
Renata – Around 20. Why does this random character who doesn’t show up until the end have an age, but my man felix got nothin!?
Chelsea – DOB before 1100AD. Transformation after 1100AD. Girl just pick a number 😤
Afton – No dates
Corin – No dates
Santiago – No dates
Amun – Born before 2500 BC, but no indication of age.
Kebi - Born before 2500 BC, but no indication of age.
Benjamin – Born sometime between 1790 – 1800. Transformed sometime between 1805 – 1820 at age 15. HE IS 15!?!?!?! 👶
Tia – As a human, she was 3 years younger than Benjamin. But she was turned 5 years after him when she was 17. They are also distantly related. Because of course they are 🥴
Liam – Born around 1615, turned around 1651, making him 36.
Siobhan – Born around 1490, turned around 1510, at approximately 20.
Maggie – Born 1832, turned 1847, also 15! 👶
Maria – No DOB, but transformed 1800’s or earlier, at 19
Lucy – No dates.
Nettie – No dates
Stefan – Unknown DOB, turned before 1000 BC.
Vladimir - Unknown DOB, turned before 1000 BC. Also, smeyer did enough research to know Romania was not yet a country when these two were turned, but didn’t know about the London sewer system. My girl, get 👏 it 👏together👏
Alistair – Born around 1300, transformed around 1320, so is around 20
Peter – Born between 1860 and 1920. Turn between 1860 and 1920. Just pick a number woman.
Charlotte – Born between 1920 and 1925. Turned around 1938, at 18. Smeyer, just say she was born in 1920, why is it so hard for you to do that. The amount of times I’ve written ‘around’ is starting to piss me off. JUST DECIDE. IT IS LITTERALLY UP TO YOU. 😤😤😤
Kachiri – No dates
Senna – No dates
Zafrina – No dates. Rude. We know why. 🙃
60 notes
·
View notes