#HeheheheheHAHAHAHA

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

Merry Christmas! Enjoy this little story :D

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Post Mortem Presents

“Papaaa I forgot my gloves at th’ mystery house, can we go grab ‘em real quick?” Poll tugs on its papa's tail, giving them its biggest puppy dog eyes.

Stardust tilts their head at them.

“Nah TQ is napping, I don't wanna wake him up. We can just go now. Pleaaaase?”

Papa flicks its tail, but nods.

Poll thanks him, running to its room to retrieve its cold weather clothes. It shrugs on a fluffy oversized pink jacket, tucking their wings inside. They throw on some dark baggy pants, carefully getting their tail through the extra hole without tugging on their checkmark tail tip too much. Finally it grabs the snowshoes Papa found that fit them, feeling more like a drawstring bag with a solid round sole than an actual shoe. She taps her chin, thinking, then dives into the clothes pile, picking out a purple skirt and slipping it on over the pants. 

“Perfect!” They exclaim. They flip up their hood and tuck their ears inside.

They run over to papa, tugging on his tail again. “Ready to go papa!”

With a tug in their stomach and a disorienting jolt, they appear in front of the mystery house. It looks just the same as it did when they first came here, and the second time, and the times after that. Only this time…

“Snow!” Poll shrieks. They stomp around, throwing the snow up in the air to watch it flutter down around them.

Stardust crosses its arms and watches Poll.

“Right, right, th’ gloves.” Poll dusts snow off their jacket. “I think I left it when we were tryin’ t’ get into the locked door.” There's a door in the mystery house that they haven't managed to get into. It's always locked with no key in sight, the only thing visible inside is a purple bed. Like their skirt!

Standing in front of the locked door, they see that there's nothing there. “Hmm,” they hold their chin, “maybe I left it on th’ roof? By the garden?” He bounds up the cold stairs, Stardust trailing behind him.

Nothing. Just snow. They whine, frustrated. They must have left them somewhere!

Stardust nudges the snow with its claw, revealing dark green gloves. Poll gasps. There they are! It crouches to grab them, but recoils.

“Papa,” Poll whines, “They're frozen solid.”

It picks up the gloves for them, turning it around a few times to see that it is indeed frozen solid. It glances at Poll.

“Noooo I don't wanna go home yet, it's pretty here.” Poll cries.

All at once, Poll notices an unfamiliar set of footprints in the snow. There's their round ones, and Papa's constantly shifting ones, but there's another. It's big, bigger than Poll's, and kind of boot shaped. It trails from the door to the roof, past the garden and towards…

Towards the statue with their brother's name on it.

“Papa you stay here, I'm gonna investigates.” Poll says, patting Papa's arm. It stares at him. “Yes I'll be careful, if I need you I'll scream really really loud.”

Poll runs off before Stardust can respond.

—

Breaking through the treeline, Poll sees the statue. It's covered in snow, just like everything else. The candles that cover the front of the stone however, have been cleared of snow and relit. And sitting on the stone next to them, is a woman.

She's big and fat like Poll is, with long curly brown hair that is tied back with a pink bow. Her entire outfit is pink and frilly, with long puffy sleeves keeping her warm in the cold winter air. She's also wearing a skirt, although one with much more layers than its own. Poll realises a little slowly that she has long brown ears and a pair of curled goat horns. There's a sad expression on her face, her arms curled around a present wrapped in orange.

Poll takes a step forward, the crunch of its snowshoes loud in the snowy silence.

The goat lady looks up, scared, before her golden eyes finally settle on Poll. They soften and she calls out to them.

“Are you lost, honey?”

Poll shakes their head. “My name is Poll, what's your name?” They ask.

The woman hums. “My name is Doll. What are you doing all the way out here, honey? I don't recognize you. Are you from Horchata or somewhere else?”

“Horchata?” Poll asks, tilting their head. Their tail swooshes behind them, just barely dipping into the snow below.

Doll gestures vaguely. “This island, Horchata island. I don't know why it's named that.” She laughs lightly. “Are you from around here?”

“Nuh uh. I'm from a few islands away.” They don't know the name of their island, they just know it's really big.

Her eyebrows raise. “Gosh, what brings you all the way down here then?”

“I forgot my gloves.” They flex their hands out in front of them to demonstrate.

Doll's eyes soften further. She clears a spot next to her of snow and pats the stone. “How about you come sit next to me and warm up by the candles, baby.” Poll, with absolutely no sense of stranger danger, accepts and sits next to her. She grabs one of its claws gently, warming it in her hand. “You're an Egg, right?”

“Yeah! Are you?” Poll asks, basking in the warmth she gives off.

Doll laughs. “No baby, I'm a goat hybrid. I just figured that you were an egg because of your hands. And that tail I see wagging under your skirt.” Poll flushes, pressing their tail against their leg. Doll squeezes their hand. “Don't feel ashamed baby, I have a tail too. It's just tucked into my pants so it doesn't freeze off.” She stares at Poll, scanning them for something. “I'm sorry if this is sensitive, but do you have a parent? Have they gotten all your tasks done today?”

“I have my papa, but what tasks?” Poll asks.

“Maybe they have a different system on their island.” Doll mumbles.

Poll stares at Doll, trying to decide on something to say.

“I like your horns, Miss Doll. I have horns too, see?” It pulls its hood down, pointing at the long bumps on its head. “Mine are still growin’ though, see?”

Doll covers her mouth and barely hides the wide grin on her face. Unable to contain her excitement, she cups Poll's face with both hands, the warmth very appreciated on its frozen features. “You're just a little faun, aren't you baby? Your ears are so cute I can't stand it.” She thumbs the sensitive tips of Poll's horns, “These probably won't pop until spring, although that's just from my experience in being around some deer hybrids back home, and…” She pauses, then draws her hands back sheepishly. “Sorry, I just got excited to see another egg. You remind me a lot of my son.” 

“Your son?” Poll asks, tilting its head.

Doll nods sadly. “We lost him almost seven months ago.”

“Where did he go? Did he get lost? I'm really good at findin’ my way in forests so I can help.”

She shakes her head. “No baby, he died a long time ago.”

“Oh.” Poll feels dumb. They didn't want to upset their new friend. “I still miss some of my clutchmates sometimes. I don't know if they're alive or not. I always thought they must be, out there, but…” Poll starts tearing up. “ngh, I don't wanna cry, I'm a big kid now.” They rub their eyes hard.

Doll tuts, taking the present from her lap and placing it onto the snow below, before scooping Poll into her arms and hugging them tightly. “Shh shh, it's okay honey. I'm sure they're out there and missing you just as much as you miss them. You'll find them eventually.”

Poll sniffles, taking in as much of Doll's warmth as possible. “I hope so. I hope your son ‘s out there too. What was his name?”

There's a fond tone in Doll's voice. “Tequilla. Tequilla Ibuprofen.”

Poll's blood runs cold.

They look up at Doll, eyes now pricking her own eyes.

“T-Tequilla?” Poll stammers. They can't believe it. One of TQ's parents being at his memorial statue? He'll be so excited!

Doll waves her hand around. “I know, it's a silly name. He was named by his Father. They joked that there was alcohol in his little messenger bag and the name stuck.”

Poll should tell her that her son is alive, right? It would make her super happy! And it would make Tequilla super happy. And maybe it would jog his memory and he could figure out what happened and reunite with her. And then.. and then he'll leave and not live with Poll anymore and they'll live alone again and their brother won't talk to them anymore EVER again. 

Would Tequilla really leave if he reunited with his Momma? Would he even look back? 

Would he miss them?

Or would he be happier with his old family?

Poll doesn't want to be alone. Never ever again.

“Um…” Poll tries to think, rationalize, but the only thing they can hear is Doll's breathing and its own erratic heartbeat. They'll be alone again. “Um, I think it's a good name.” They finally say. “Wh- what was he like?” Good, deflect. Keep her from noticing that you won't meet her gaze.

Doll hums. “He was wonderful. He was always the sweetest boy, and very talkative. He had this stutter than he struggled with once he got old enough to talk, and we didn't really have the resources to do speech therapy with him. But it never did seem to deter him. He was.. adventurous. We always tried to keep an eye on him but he would slip away if we missed him for even a second. And oh, he was clingy. The kid practically lived at my heel or one of his other parent's. He was also very brave. He was never upset that his right horn would never grow; he was more occupied with the fact his crack made him match his Dad's scar.”

That's definitely its brother. “So um… is that present for him?” They ask, gesturing towards the orange box in the snow. 

Doll nods. “We never did get to celebrate Christmas with him. I wanted to bring him a present, so he knew I still cared for him. But… well I know he'll never see this. He's gone.” She goes quiet for a long moment. “Here.” She presses the present into Poll's tiny hands. “I want you to have it. So that at least someone will get use out of it.”

Poll looks down at the present in their hands, and feels the immense guilt wash over them. If they told her now, she would get angry.

“Thank you miss Doll.” They mumble.

Doll smiles, ruffling Poll's hair. “I'm going to leave now. There's too many memories here. You should probably meet back up with your papa. I'm sure they're getting worried for you by now.” She stands and dusts off her skirt. “Merry Christmas, Poll.”

Poll watches as she walks away, into the forest away from the mystery house.

They clutch the orange wrapped gift in their hands.

And hide it in their coat. They'll put it away under the bed where Tequilla won't find it.

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

Heard you weren’t feeling well, and I’m SO sorry you’re sick! Hope you get better soon❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹✨✨‼️‼️

while you’re resting, I have brought some HOT SOOUUUUPPPP seriously could NOT get these cuties out of my head so I did a lil doodle (that turned into almost a day-long project but hey it was super fun and I am NOT complaining)

this is one of my FAVORITE dynamics EVER, so im just super psyched for more of Karai✨✨✨💖💖💖💖

ah yes, one of Freg’s favorite dynamics: listens x info dumps

I did one in the original style (rottmnt)

and one in mine cause I love, adore and cherish characters with green eyes

CONTEXT: Batty, he prefers to be called Patrick by people he doesn’t like (aka everyone in The Resistance), was caught and is now being held “prisoner” by the Mad Dogs until they can work everything out with the Scavengers. also, FUN FACT: batty puffs up when gets upset or embarrassed💖

i REALLY hope this helps you feel even a lil bit better, I just love them and their designs and ughhh this has consumed me. ALSO, Runa O’Crest is probably going end up being a rabbit, so if you see any art/doodles of her as a rabbit, don’t be alarmed it was just for the sake of my own sanity. Anyway, hope you feel better, get well soon and keep being awesome ‼️‼️💖💖✨✨❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Freg...

FREG!!!

COME HERE RN SO I CAN HUG YOU AND KISS U ON THE MOUTH!! (Platonically 👀) THIS IS ONE IF THE SWEETEST THINGS IVE EVER RECIEVED WHILST SICK I FEEL I MIGHT BAWL WITH UTTER JOYY

EVERYTIME YOU DO SUCH NICE THINGS FIR ME I HAVE TO GET UP AND JUMP AROUND WHILE SQUEALING I CANNOT STOP JUST DANCING AROUJD MY ROOM WHILE REPEATEDLY LOOKING AT THIS PEICE OF ART AHAHAHAHDICNROW9SHFBROWJX

I went a little kooky there but seriously, Thank you So so so so SO much for this! It's like it healed my coughs and headaches LMAO

[itsbrucey]

I love when Darryl and another character both do strength checks together and he does amazing and the other ones doesn't fucking help AT ALL or actively hinders him with a shitty roll. It's peak im afraid

[simowis]

"I just made it up."

“The joke is now on you ,human. You will believe anything...”

"Hehehehehehahahaha....."

Freezer bugman deserve to be frozen back in the freezer

[hatter-and-dodo-in-wonderland]

I just Draw them as girls, that's all.

And me as A BOY HEHEHEEEEE I'M GONNA RIZZZ Mrs. TETCH WITH MY MUUUSTAAAACHE YEEEHHAAAAAA

But I'm 5 ft in front of her 6 ft, WAIT HUH IT'S THE PERFECT HEIGHT! I'M A SHORT KING HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA

My mom wanted to name me Endric if I was a boy

[limpbikzit]

hehehehehehahahaha

[jchamphero]

Hehehehehehahahaha Plap

[tempelbeast]

You call them a nothingburger, I call them sacrificial pawns to be used by the story and than discarded.

Now you would call me evil and a sick fuck. And all I can say to this is... your right! Hehehehehehahahaha!

Okey, but in all honesty they're isn't much to write about. From appearance the long hair guy is probably a rock fan and maybe plays electric guitar and the cowgirl probably likes rodeos and other cowboy stuff but with Imode I got nothing.

Top 10 worst characters Homestuck?

10. Most of the dancestors 9. Gcatavrosprite 8. Vriska Serket 7. Terezi Pyrope 6. Aradia Megido 5. Jasprosesprite^2 4. Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde 3. Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley 2. Davepetasprite^2 1. Calliope

Honorable mentions go to Imode Kurita, Avril Thorpe, and Silas P Beauregard III from The Influencers bonus story since I wasn't sure if they still count with the whole dubious canon, don't know if James Roach and HICU will continue said bonus stories, and literally the fact they are nothingburger characters from WhatPumpkin.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

The “swallow your blood” thing that got mentioned in that taquitos mixup post earlier was something Taveau was taught in his childhood. 

Something along the lines of “if there’s blood in your mouth you swallow it. Spitting it out is a sign of weakness. Don’t give your enemies that satisfaction. Also, that stuff belongs in your body, you keep it there. Can’t have you getting dehydrated in the middle of a battle.” 

[kristsune]

Menace 😁

Hehehehehehahahaha yessss YEESSSSS

[bizarrospider]

YESSSSS! HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!

Super! just as long as you stay safe.

CAN IT HANK!

Rude

Spider Society won’t mind if I let all hell break loose ;)

They would mind, it’s disturbing the peace.

PEACE WASNT AN OPTION EHEHEHEHEHEHEH! Hahahahaha!

Oh my stars and garders not again young one..

[argasks]

Yes, but nobody told me about the anime thing. And I still found out. I'll find this out too, in the exact same way ;3 heheheheheHAHAHAHA

Sure you will.

[weirdfool75]

Yup, its a Frisk, they are actually talking to DT Sans right now~ I bet if you asked nicely they might give you the souls.

“.........SUUUURE....I’LL ASK REAAAAL NICELY....HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!”

[roleplayingwithartscape]

Hehehehehehahahaha, you... just... I will not tell you of his fate. Yet I want you to know this. So far, most of the nails on his figurative guillotine belong to you. He is in no mortal danger. Dying was never his worry. So... he probably wont die. But he will still be hurt by the knife you helped forge.

Im just being rude am I not? I lost it there. Your face was too funny to stop lying. Did you really think I'd kill my favorite troll or let him die? Thats crazy! No one will kill Artlyn before killing me. Unless he deserves it I guess.

((Trim))

~~~Ah yesss!!! The sssecond one sssoundsss perfect!!!~~~

[cypaira-the-skeleton]

Hehehehehehahahaha😂

🌨

[red-in-the-streets]

haHA

You fell for it!

Hehehehehehahahaha

Would you like some coffee dear?

Fuck yesss ethan… it better be real though…