#He would rather die than betray the Sullys

[patheticblorbloscholar]

Spider proved his loyalties to the Sullys. To the Na'vi. To the world he loved.

Despite being left behind to die, despite all the pain and neglect. His heart remained kind.

Hes the core of this story. A character who shouldn't need to be defended.

Fuck you Spider haters.

[shadedsecrets]

Why Pavel is Important:

AKA Why Cheth and Phaedra need therapy and Phantomarine won’t leave my head--

The sheer importance of Pavel as a character and what he does hit me very hard today and I needed to share.

Cheth the Red Tide King is an ageless being who has been betrayed, mutilated, and discredited for a comparatively short 500 years out of his thousands. Everything he was, everything he had, taken away by someone who was supposed to be his equal and someone who his feelings about seem to be very... complicated. Even then, he didn’t even get to die, just watch as more as more was stripped away so not even the people’s memory of him remained unwrapped. His only company was himself... and a few fleeting moments with people who feared and hated him. If that didn’t fuck him up a bit, nothing could.

If he was to be made the villain until some nebulous future that might not even come, why not lean into it and have at least a shred of vengeance and amusement? The perfect target is right there, after all, a royal line dedicated to the church that sullies his memory with lies is right there. Why *not* torment them when they pass, why not make those ruthless bloodthirsty puppets feel despair? After all, he knows who is calling the shots. He knows she doesn’t care one bit once she can no longer use them...

The Red Tide surrounded and transported at least three sea bite victims to shore that we know of, however. Doubtless there are many more lives he has tried to save from a painful and premature death. But he can only be so many places at once... And it is rather telling that every seabite victim we have seen so far has been a child.

He thought Phaedra no better than a tyrant early in her reign when she came down to his domain. That she could not possibly know the loss that had occurred because of her people’s actions. That none of her line could, because ***she*** was pulling the strings... And of course, she would never trust him, so to get her to do anything, of course he had to lie. She had been manipulated all her life and was clearly none the wiser, even now when contradictions begin arising. And really, he has no patience for it anymore, for stubborn fools who refuse to hear him.... and Cheth is far too out of practice to do anything about this himself.

Phaedra is lugging around centuries of religious propaganda and pressure, as well as being young, inexperienced, and grieving the loss of her father. Her whole life has been surrounded by the church and it’s teachings, of her future responsibilities in relation to them, who her immortal enemy was and who her biggest inspiration should be. She was very literally tailor-raised to hate Cheth. 

His actions don’t help alleviate this either. I doubt he was lying about being able to bring back only one soul, but not being clear about it broke what trust Phaedra was ever willing to put in the god. She was not nearly as hostile towards him until that little snag, and has seemed only to double down on this stance ever since, her color scheme changing from yellows to blues. She will find the most bad-faith read of his words and believe that to be the only correct answer. His penchant to not being completely clear and honest with his intentions also clearly vexes her.

Clearly though, she cares deeply about people. She took up her father’s tradition to ease the grieving. She was willing to do whatever it took to save her friends, and feels incredible guilt for ‘dooming’ them to a these last months of not-quite-life. She wants to help people, really help them... but she can only see ‘help’ in such a narrow worldview and has been taught there are some people you just shouldn’t help.

And then... there’s Pavel. And the very first thing we learn about him is that the boy has more heart than sense. Vanna raised him well, but the kind of deep empathy to care for the very beings that killed his father and basically gave him a terminal disease with heavy stigmas that forced him to leave the life he loved for ***seven years*** takes a little more than teaching.

Pavel has defended almost every single being that has harmed him.

He understood that sea ghosts just couldn’t stop themselves and that they were people once because he trusted his mother and her research. He understood that his friend Eddy was scared and alone and lashing out because of that. He questioned and pushed back against Sofia’s manipulations and the bad faith readings of the Mantaluna crew, but tried to understand that they must be having a pretty hard time. He told the Manta Princess to her face that *Cheth was hurting too* and asked a literal deity to be nicer to the biggest pain in his neck.

This little boy is a critical bridge. He can just *feel* when people are coming from a place of genuine care or hurt and tries to explain that to others who are being overly harsh in his opinion. There is a reason he is neither Cheth’s nor Phaedra’s color scheme. *This tiny boy is the one neutral party that both of these stubborn powerful people will listen to, now.*

Phaedra only turned sour when the talk got a little too close to questioning the very foundation of her beliefs, and she just went cold and tried to make Pavel change the subject. She was so relieved to know she hadn’t hurt him, wanted to do everything she could to make him comfortable and did not even question if they should help him get somewhere safe. And Cheth... Cheth loves children and hates having to welcome a single one into his collection, I think. He tried to mock Phaedra with how many *orphans* her father’s last battle created. He became *angry* and cold at even the implication that he would have lied to Pavel. And Cheth does everything he can to make sure a child survives a sea ghost attack.

Without Pavel... neither of these two have any hope of working through their shit, because neither of them are able to view the other and their reactions clearly. Cheth IS AN ASSHOLE AND VINDICTIVE. Phae IS NAIVE AND OVERZEALOUS. And Pavel is the once person who can read them both as say it like it is. And that is going to make for one hell of a boat ride.

[dreamingsnowflake2013]

“Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful dead and rotting?”  - Li Susu, probably.

Some male leads shield their lovers with their bodies to protect their life, but only Tantai Jin is bonkers enough to shield with his her decaying corpse, even protecting her from his own blood falling on her and sullying her. He treasures the little that he has left of her more than anything in the world, including himself and his own life.

Since the moment Xiwu died, he’s been going through a vicious circle of disbelief, anguish, denial of reality, and finally acceptance and grief, but instead of going through it all at once, he does it in stages to cope because he can’t bear to accept the whole harsh “truth” all at once - that not only did his lover leave him, but that she would rather die than stay with him, suggesting she might have never loved him. 

First, he struggles to accept she died, after he does, she convinces himself she loved him and cared for him, selectively forgetting the terrible reality of her praying to heavens above to never meet him again in any lifetime. It’s a copying mechanism not to come completely apart at the seams due to the pain such revelation would cause him, but it’s also his way of comforting himself with the notion she loved him, that he was wedged inside her heart and thus, a part of her truly belonged to him.

It’s only Ye Quinyu’s tough love which makes Tantai Jin face all of it and cure his copying selective amnesia. When he finally recalls Xiwu’s final words to him, it causes him excruciating torment, as his brain, body, heart and soul exploded with pain at the onslaught of terrible “truth”.

Despite the fact that he’s given everything of himself to Xiwu, sharing his whole being, including his deepest darkest secrets, insecurities and vulnerabilities, Tantai Jin still feels the eternal regret of not loving her enough and not treating her right because he misunderstood her her and judged her unfairly. He wants to repay her kindness forever and protect her in death when he failed in life. 

Qingyu and Tantai Jin have both lost all their loved once but what sets the two men and their reactions apart is their past. Qingyu has spent more than 20 years of his life being loved with a strong support system of people who constantly taught him sense of duty and sacrifice for others. On the other hand, Tantai Jin had never experienced any of that. For those same 20+ years, he had been love-starved, actually starved, physically and emotionally abused, demeaned and feared by everyone, and betrayed by those few he cared about. No one ever taught him how to love the world, they only showed him how to hate it through the constant abuse he received from it. Until Xiwu barged into his life like a bright star, bringing light to his dark world, blinding him with her kindness and beauty. 

She’s become the center of his universe, she anchored him, comforted him and offered him solace when no one else did, taught him how to love her and himself, and care for others. However, she has perished. And what does a universe do when it loses its center? It collapses on itself, just like Tantai Jin is falling apart now. He has lost her, and with her, he has lost himself.

The most heartwrenching acceptance and resignation in the history of dramaland.

The way he is touching her and looking at her so reverently, as if she’s a goddess on a pedestal (which he made for her and on which he actually placed her) and he was worshipping her, clinging to her in death as he used to cling to her in life. His eyes always search for her, he wants her to be the first thing when he opens his eyes and when he closes them. 

Give Luo Yunxi all the awards because he slays every single scene. The emotional range he exhibits in a single minute is out of this world.

[innocentbeing]

so.. I’m just gonna throw this out there.. just gonna put it into the atmosphere..

I think Doll is Canopus and I think she might be the one who went to the town house with polaris and shot Soma 👉👈  

HERES WHY !! 

1) Soma’s behavior is weird if he’s talking to “Ciel”  it’s far too polite and not how he usually acts with him

here’s how soma is with ciel:

this way of greeting him is very consistent. now compare it whatever the heck this was

his behavior is just.. SUPER weird. it’s like he’s talking to a friendly acquaintance rather than his BFF. you can say yana wanted to make it vague for the 2ct reveal.. but she could have done that without making Soma super OOC LOOL. we didn’t see the shooters face, he didn’t have to say his name, just make him act like he usually does.. what I really love about yana’s writing is how she treats her characters.. her characterization. she’s REALLY good at writing realistic, complex characters... so to make Soma really weird for a moment for the big reveal is just.. no. It’s just no. LOOL. 

Yana’s way too good of a writer, esp with characterization, to do this. Just no. LMAO. No. There are plenty of ways to not reveal the killer, build up 2ct, and still keep Soma in character SHUD. I’m not gonna accept that he was talking to “Ciel” until the manga forces me to.

MOVING ON..

2) Choice of words Soma uses

So.. not only does Soma ACT weird.. what he SAYS is weird LMAO. and no, I’m not talking about “Oh it’s you” instead of saying Ciel’s name. Even if we ignore the vagueness and his weird behavior.. his dialogue.. the words Yana deliberately chooses.. is 100% not consistent with his character if he’s talking to “Ciel”. 

Soma forced Ciel to stay in bed and rest when he noticed he wasn’t feeling well. he knows he has asthma that could be triggered from the cold and the rain. he constantly worries for ciel and wants him to be well and healthy.. 

there’s just no way he’d be calm if he thought ciel could potentially have a fever... no way in hell LMAO.

There’s hardly a hint of any concern on the left pic. It’s minimal. Soma should've been up in arms over it if it was Ciel. He straight up Cannot be talking to “Ciel”. He just can’t. NO. D<

NEXT....

3) The conversation with Sully and Wolf is weird af

So... they mention the name of Agni’s supposed killer and Soma makes no reaction to it? they tell him Agni was already dead by the time Ciel and Sebastian got there. He doesn’t think that’s weird they’d say that? Doesn’t feel the need to yell at them and correct them that he wasn’t already dead— they killed him?? no??? doesnt he think its odd that the murderers— his friend— just shot him, killed agni, and then.. took him to get his injuries healed?? like, thats FKING WEIRD RIGHT? LMAOOO THAT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE.

also, lets ignore the fact that he’s willing and ready to murder someone he wanted to wholly support and befriend with all his heart... LIKE OBVIOUSLY IF HE SAW OCIEL KILL AGNI AND SHOOT HIM HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED AND UPSET.. OBVIOUSLY. but its a little weird to not even be.. confused by the random ass violent attack from someone you’re close to?? Betrayed? Suspended in disbelief? he was obviously upset by Agni’s death, crying out “why did agni have to die” because agni was such a good wholesome person, like what kind of world would kill him like that... but he mentions nothing about why or how someone he’s close to, his friend, would do that. 

I mean, Soma understands O!C SO WELL LIKE... YEAH SURE, IF HE SAW HIS FACE LIKE THERES NO WAY TO JUST DENY WHATS RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES.. but like idk, i mean, he was giving a speech 20 seconds prior about how o!c is afraid to be loved.. i feel like he would know that o!c wouldnt do that. Or at the very least, would question it more.

but then again it could just be like.. stages of grief. anyway, there’s THIS WHOLE PAGE

“you saw who attacked you?”

“yes. that is one face I would never mistake for another”

...LIKE WE SEE HOW AWKWARD THE FLOW OF THIS CONVO IS IF SOMA THINKS O!CIEL KILLED HIM RIGHT?? They mentioned Ciel’s name, told him Agni was dead by the time [Ciel and Sebastian] found him... then ask him if he saw the killer... and he responds with “yes. i saw all right. i saw as clear as day” as if they weren’t just talking about o!ciel, the killer. like.. either he is ignoring everything they’re fking saying (which he’s clearly not) OR he does not think the killer is O!C. 

OR It’s possible that he knows about R!C at this point and thinks he’s the killer instead thanks to the the picture Agni gave him. however, it still doesn’t explain the first two points :// which brings me to my next point...

4) Agni’s weird reaction to the picture

yeah, we all know how fking weird his face is over seeing that there’s two ciels

it could be just to hold the suspense of the big reveal, but there was literally no reason to make him look so terrified LOOL. he could be SHOCKED and still keep the tension, but that face is HORRIFIED LMAOO. its confusing and weird. 

also, this is a piece he found that ciel chucked into the fireplace

it’s part of the same photo Pitt took when ciel snatched it away

and in the flashback, he took a pic of the twins... but it is NOT the same photo as the one above

Ciel is wearing different clothes.. there’s an adult behind him (probably vincent) which makes sense because it was a family portrait. In the flashback, Pitt only took a picture of the twins. it’s very clear the picture Agni saw is not the one we saw in the flashback.

So.. the question is.. WHY would Yana make them different pictures if we’re supposed to believe Agni’s reaction was about the twin?? Wouldn’t it make sense to CONFIRM that his reaction was about 2ct since R!Ciel’s existence was known at the time of the flashback?? Why do we still need to see the photo Agni saw if it was just meant as ambiance for real ciel’s appearance??

Of course it could still be the twin since they’re most likely both in the family photo.. but it still doesn’t make sense to make the pictures different. It’s as if there is a reason for it. Like he could’ve saw something else. 🤔🤔

Yana obviously wants us to believe that Agni saw rCiel, but the fact that they’re different photos is worth questioning it because if he really did see rCiel then it should and could have been confirmed in the flashback with the photo, making it undoubtedly clear what he was reacting to. Instead, we get a photo that looks similar to it. To only make us think they’re the same. It’s as if it’s a red herring, and if Agni’s reaction was not about RC, then it makes some sense to also doubt that he was the shooter since it’s connected.

SO THOSE ARE PRETTY MUCH MY MAIN REASONS WHY I DONT THINK IT WAS REAL!CIEL.. but if it wasn’t real!Ciel then who was it??

WELL! Like I said, I think it was Doll and I think she’s Canopus but I’ll be honest, I don’t have any solid reasons for it. It’s just the next best thing I could come up with. Here are some of my reasons:

1) The shooter has to be a character we’ve seen before

Like.. they just HAVE to LMAO. It’d be SO disappointing and anticlimactic if it was some new character we’ve never seen before?? Like why build up all this tension and suspense only to reveal it’s just some literally-who-cares character 😭😭 

2) The shooter is smaller than Soma

So.. I dunno their exact heights. I dunno where Doll would reach if put next to Soma. BUT I’m pretty sure she’s at least smaller than him LOL.

3) “That is one face I would never mistake for another”

I think this one is pretty self explanatory! Doll has a unique face!

Obviously she would have to be a bizarre doll by the time they met, but I don’t think that scar is something Undertaker could change. ..Or maybe he just wouldn’t care enough LOL 

4) Soma knew who the shooter was

So yeah, this one is weird considering we never ever seen Doll and Soma interact.. like ever. However, we don’t see much of Soma’s life when he’s not with Ciel in the first place!! In this arc we learned that he goes out of his way to make curry bread and give it to those in need! 

and well, we all know that Doll could definitely relate to being a homeless, hungry child. 

SO idk, perhaps they could’ve somehow met each other like that. Maybe in passing at the market. Maybe he saw her and gave her some bread. IDK.. I DON”T HAVE MUCH TO GO OFF OF. LMAO

5) “Don’t you dare touch me”

Apparently what the shooter said to Soma is exactly what O!Ciel said to Doll after he set everything on fire and I think that’d be such an AMAZING parallel. Like, it’d really show how far gone she is?? Imagine her living off of revenge because of what O!C did to her and her family. Just like how he is.. OMG 😭

annd that’s about all the reasons I got! The main thing that’s putting me off is the speech difference between Doll and Canopus :/. “I think it’s time you stopped hesitating” and “don’t you dare touch me” are all of what we’ve heard from Canopus.. it’s different from Doll’s accent

but it’s not like she can’t just improve on her speech !

SO ANYWAY, that’s it! Some food for thought! THanks for reading!!

[bonmotx]

@sinsoko asked!: (avenger amakusa for douman) new year's kiss

The new year typically heralds with the lessening of rain, and shrines abuzz, yet in Shimousa there is naught but rain.

The small flood begins while Amakusa is outside, and they can hear him hiss at the sudden droplets. The servant instead steps out without a parasol, letting the rain sink into their clothes as well rather than wait to ensure their own dryness to bring him inside.

After all, Shirou was already wet. There was no point in Douman remaining dry if their lord will be soaked. So they accept his scolding as they go out to meet him, usher him inside despite being but steps away. It isn’t needed. They both know this. Douman does it anyways.

They have been sentimental, lately.

The midnight drip is not unlike the IV at a hospital, muffled under layers and by the louder outstretching sound of fire and chimes clunking melodic wooden panels against each other. The world lights up with thunder. Soaked clothing hangs at the threshold, blowing in the wind.

Yet quieter, more meaningful, is the heartbeat felt under a clawed beast’s hands. Softer, even, is the breathing of one who for so long has not known ‘safety’. In a place without safety, there is no sound too quiet. Any noise can bring someone into awareness of where you are. So to hear even such a quiet noise...

Perhaps the unspoken things are the most valuable.

Blood drips in another room not unlike the world’s weeping. Yet this is not a sound of sorrow.

Another day, in another world, there would be nothing here. A dying dream, a forsaken world. Blood let for blood. The sake of humanity placed above the most human of them all.

Douman pulls him closer, blinking out blood and membrane and burning wood from their vision. (A miracle that never occurred. ’Your death was my Shimabara.’ The world itself is worth giving up on for a single soul. Would he feel the same? Ah. They hope not. It’s a horrible burden, loving someone, placing your everything in them.) That isn’t now. Miracles raptured by saints could never compare to the beating heart in their arms, tucked under blankets.

The world’s sole virtue exists here.

An alarm quietly rings in the bamboo chimes. The frogs begin to chirp and croak as if they know a beginning has started. How ironic, that in winter, the new year begins. The calendar starts anew, from the first month to the first day.

It was November when the chill of things dying permeated this place, hallowed like a shrine made home. When instead of ‘pursuing his dream of death’ they chose ‘pursuing him into death’. Shinjuu, finally honored. (The one honorable thing they had ever done.)

Stained hands make grotesque miracles. Perhaps they devoured their prior self, once more, to reach this point. Have chosen to eat like a baku the nightmarish time and actions that could have been, forsake everything. (Perhaps this is the entertainment they were meant to provide the Alien God. ‘Look at it struggle, after just learning how to care for something, just learning how much something meant to it. How pitiable. How laughable!’)

They would ruin and sully his dream. For Amakusa Shirou, they would do the unforgiveable, and betray a lord. They would force him to live, force him to find some happiness in peace, in life. Two beings that the world wished to die yet could not die. 

(In each other, perhaps, they would choose not to- ah, what a selfish, wretched fool, they have become.)

For Amakusa Shirou, they would strive to make themselves, wretched and grotesque, a humble servant meant to carry forth bloodshed and tragedy and betrayal, to soil with glee everything they touched, someone ‘worth living for’.

If they could not... Shirou could kill them. Then he could die.

Douman knows the way his breathing shifts when their lord falls asleep. Something in their chest, like at the thought of him killing them, fractures slightly at the honor.

Their pale lips, so used to mockery and lewdness, press a chaste kiss like worship to the foot of a shrine upon the pale crown of Shirou’s head, where his hair has been devotedly combed through with the first gift they ever, knowingly and meaningfully, gave him.

But Douman would not go down without a fight. They would fight their lord’s blade of death with each futile meal, and sweet sunrise, and gentle motion.

Even if it meant, so contrary to their nature, arguing in some, fleeting, selfish measure, the worth of the world.

[bapyess1r]

Amphetamine

WARNINGS: SMUTTY AS HELL (even though I really didn’t mean for it to be lmao), cursing, substances

CHAPTER 14

Two months later...

Talia’s POV

I finally finished moving in. Not if my Godfather has anything to say about it. There was a falling out between us. My Godmother assured me that she would still have me watch the kids and visit me across the street. Things happened very quickly, Sam and I progressed very quickly. We had all these things to do and being together made them more enjoyable. Within these past two months, we trained more. I was starting to feel like Black Widow or something. We played with the band more and booked a few gigs at bars. Also, he met my mother finally. She was suspicious of him and his intentions for a bit until she noticed how he behaved around me, and the change in me as well. She said I’d changed for the better and that I seemed tougher. Then he met my father. I was afraid to leave them alone on the balcony together. But they sat out there, enjoying a beer and cigar, grilling as they shared a conversation and I’m sure Sam told several stories of his adventures (the PG versions anyway). I remembered being in the kitchen with my step mother, boring holes into the windows watching them as I cut up vegetables nervously. When they came inside with trays of grilled meat and smiles on their faces, I remembered feeling such a relief. He calls my dad “Chief” now. Cute.

Today we sat on the couch, watching TV as I texted my best friend, Sam on a business call in his study. Something about an update on a previous job. And with my birthday approaching, I I had hoped that maybe he’d tell me I could go with him.

Anna: maybe this time he’ll take you

Me: I really hope so… I’ve been training for MONTHS!

Anna: you’ve been training for months but he’s been doin this shit for YEARS fren.

Although I didn’t want her to be, she was right. These itty bitty months of training were nothing compared to his life. I sighed in frustration. Jump starting this new life thing was harder than I thought. “Sullivan, you son of a bitch!” I could hear Sam shouted with a laugh of relief. The rest of his response was a bit muffled but he sounded excited. I was happy for him. They must’ve found whatever they were looking for. Which meant he was gonna have to leave again very soon. I huffed, the depression already beginning to hit me.

Me: he did warn me he’d be gone a lot…

Anna: he did…

My thoughts were interrupted by a heavy plop on the couch beside me. I looked over at Sam to be met with a goofy but satisfied grin. “Hi.” I said sarcastically.

“Hi.” He said, his smile never wavering. He continued to stare at me like that for a few moments before I spoke again.

“Yes?” I chuckled, waiting for him to tell me what was on his mind.

“Sully found us an in to that Lost Treasure of Lima. We’re gonna go get it.” He grinned. “And you’re coming with.”

A jolt of excitement ran through me. “SHUT UP- REALLY?!” I screamed, making a gesture so big I almost threw my phone. He nodded proudly.

“The only reason I am letting you come along is because I know there won’t be much trouble. And you’ll be safe.” He said brushing a piece of hair behind my ear. My heart was singing! I jumped into his lap and gave him a long, passionate kiss. “Oh…” he smirked, deepening the kiss. I chuckled, breaking the kiss and he stood, pulling me up with him and walking me to his study. “C’mere. I wanna show you something.”

His study compared to the rest of his house was probably the neatest mess I’d seen. Maps were sprawled out on the floor in a corner surrounded by books and files and folders covered his desk. The walls were lined with even more books than the one in the living room. “Jesus…” I murmured as he sat me down in his chair at the desk. The amount of resources he had was ridiculous and vast. Paired with the internet, I’m sure there wasn’t a thing this man didn’t know about. He kissed my cheek as he wheeled me closer and leaned over me with his hands on the desk. He shared his research with me and pointed out places on an older map he “acquired from some idiot”. “So now what- you got a permit to hunt there or something?” I asked. He chuckled at my naivety.

“No sweetheart, we don’t really operate that way…” he smirked. I looked up at him, still not understanding. So he reworded his explanation. “There’s a secluded area on the island with very little security. We…” he winked at me. “...are going to sneak in; Do what we gotta do, steal the gold, and peace out.”

“Pause- we’re stealing this treasure?!” I exclaimed. I was truly baffled. I thought his work was a bit more legal than this. He seemed a bit worried.

“Is that gonna be a problem for you?” He asked me.

“Hell nah. I just…. didn’t think that ‘Collector of Antiquities’ equaled ‘Thief’.” I smirked, picking up a file and flipping through it myself. It was clearly evident I was going to revert back to my teenage days of thieving and sneaking around. He placed a hand on his chest and made a face.

“Ouch, babes.” He said sarcastically. I chuckled, turning my attention back to the picture of the treasure.

“So how exactly are we supposed to sneak out $208 million dollars worth of treasure off of this island without Costa Rican police getting involved?” I shifted in my seat and leaned on the arm of the chair to look at him.

“That’s where my partner comes in.” He grinned.

“Uh huh. And what will your partner do exactly?” I asked. He still wasn’t giving me an answer. He opened his mouth to answer and I waited but nothing came out. “Uh huh. I see.”

“I...... haven’t gotten that far ahead yet.” He bit the inside of his cheek as I stood to face him, leaning on the desk with my arms crossed. He hadn’t moved from his position. He stared down at me hungrily.

“Yeah well when you do, let me know. And let’s hope it doesn’t get me killed.” I booped his nose and placed a peck on his lips. He flared his nostrils and took a deep breath as he looked me up and down.

“I wouldn’t dream of getting you hurt.” He said sincerely. “So this is treasure hunter Talia Aaron, huh? ‘Don’t get me killed?’ ‘Plan better?’” He kissed my cheek rather slowly inching to my ear. I felt a smile creep across my lips but I didn’t budge.

“Yeah! I don’t wanna look stupid and I don’t wanna die. So make sure you have a solid plan before we go sneakin’ around a secured island.” I said, poking his chest to prove my point. A corner of his lips turned up as he moved closer, our noses brushing against each other’s, his lips ghosting over mine as we chased each other’s breath. He ran a large hand over my hip and brushed his thumb over my skin under my sweater.

“This ‘new you’ thing is really starting to grow on me…” He spoke slowly as our lips touched lightly. His hand traveled down my thigh and hook behind my knee to wrap my leg around his waist, making me feel his growing boner. I smirked as I tried and failed to not be affected by his arousal.

“Really now...” I said propping myself up with my hands behind me on the desk.

“Mmm…” He growled, grinding against me lightly. I betrayed myself with a grunt and laughed. “Y’know… this is the only surface I haven’t fucked you on…” He stated, gently moving the files aside behind me to clear a space.

“We should change that.” I nodded, placing a hand on his cheek.

“I agree…” he moaned just before kissing me intensely.

He lifted me onto the desk and I fell back into the bookshelf behind me, causing a couple books to fall over us but we didn’t care. I caressed his face with both hands as his tongue darted between my lips. Then he grabbed my hand and began to kiss each finger delicately before taking off my sweater and making his way up my arm. A nervous wave washed over me as I found myself enjoying it. He pulled me close to his chest and I could feel his warm breath against my ear and his nose brush against the side of my neck as he pressed firm kisses on my pulse point. I closed my eyes with a flutter, hissing at the sudden contact as he gripped my arm and inhaled the coconut scent of my hair, pushing it over my ear and to one side. He ran a hot hand down my cheek and neck, over my chest and down to my waist here he massaged the curve before my hips. I felt a long wet muscle lap at the space behind my ear sensually and a whine found its way from the back of my throat. I was shivering with lust and he wasn’t making it any easier for me. “The only treasure I wanna steal right now is right here….” he breathed, cupping my breasts, putting the tiniest bit of pressure on my nipples. My breathing hitched as he massaged away. He slipped the other strap and pushed my shorts over my legs leaving me in my black laces. I was utterly vulnerable.

“You don’t have to steal it if it’s already yours.” I managed to get out in a hushed and intimate voice, his finger running down the valley between my breasts. He dragged a long tongue across the tops of my breasts and towered over me, casually undressing himself as he stared down at me.

“God, you’re beautiful…” He said kneeling before me, his hand running over my pelvis and down my clothed center. I gasped for air after noticing that I stopped doing so for a few moments. His silver tongue licked at the skin on the inside of my thighs; Each lick moving closer and closer to where I needed him to be. I sat up on my forearms to watch what he was doing until I felt a strong arm push me back. He pushed my lacey panties to the side, teasing me as he ran his thumb over my clit, exciting me with little effort. My breathing grew heavier as he gave me one deep long lick. I squealed at the surprising sensation, my eyes opening wide. He pulled them off completely before he continued brushing his tongue over a sensitive area. I tried to move my legs around but Sam had snaked his tattooed arms under my hips, holding me down in place. I bucked and cried as he enjoyed my overreactions from the simplest act. He growled into as he picked up the pace to something inhuman and my eyes shut so tight that I began to see white behind my lids. It felt as if I were unlocking some secret level of myself that had been kept hidden for a decade. I grabbed a handful of his hair as he sent me close to the edge and he gave a demonic growl that sent an unnatural swarm of butterflies to the pit of my stomach. When he stopped just as I was close, I groaned in a needy fashion. “Tsk, Tsk, Tsk…” he sucked his teeth with a perfect shit eating grin. With a satisfied moan, he brought his lips to my chest. He took a carefully calculated lap at the bud of my nipple, suddenly taking as much of my breast as he could fit between his perfectly shaped lips. He gave a dark chuckle at my reaction. He smirked before giving me a deep, passionate kiss. “You ready for me, Princess?” He asked me, clearly expecting an answer as he grasped his clothed erected muscle.

“Yes, sir….” I nodded feverishly and he hissed at the sound of my voice. My New York accent tended to come out when I spoke slowly.

“I think I like being called ‘Sir’...” he smirked. I watched him as his eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. “You think this….beautiful mouth of yours could do a bit of work for me while I clear those files up?” He said, brushing his thumb across my plump lower lip. It was almost like I didn’t have any control of my body. It wasn’t like I didn’t want this though. He placed a finger beneath my chin and guided my lips to his. I kissed his across his strong jawline and intimately over each tattooed bird on his neck leading to his chest and abs. All the way down to his pelvis and the top of his boxers. I grabbed the hem to pull them down but he grabbed my hand to stop me. “Slowly, Princess…” He told me, pushing my hair off of my face. I did as he asked and kissed a line along the hem of his boxers, slowly pulling them down his long, tanned legs as he started to put the papers in the folders to neatly stack on the corner of the desk. He took a sharp exhale as his hard member sprang from its confines. I grabbed it by the base and took a quick lick of the tip causing him to hiss a bit. I then understood how the reactions could be so amusing. After learning that, I only wanted to please him. To make him as equal of a mess as he had made me. So I continued licking, stroking it as I did. He took deep breaths of relief as I touched him, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He began to moan. Obviously, I was doing something right. As I chuckled, my voice vibrated against him and he bucked his hips briefly. He smiled in bliss with closed eyes, his long thick dark lashes fluttering as he gripped the edge of the dark oak wood desk. I gagged a bit as his tip touched the back of my throat and he pulled out from me, a string of saliva hanging from him. “Bend over.” He commanded lowly, slapping the desk twice.

“Yes, sir…” I mewed as I stood. I turned around slowly and did exactly as he ordered, giving my ass a little shimmy in the process. He whistled before slapping it harshly, making me gasp.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you today but my god…” He said as he played with me before gently easing himself into me. I felt a pressure in my pelvis that soon subsided after a bit of movement. He thrusted into me with care, as if I were fragile. The pain eased into pleasure very quickly and I began to want more. I groaned as he ran his hand down my spine. “Tell me what you want.” He growled.

“Faster.” My mouth spoke before I could even think. He picked up the pace to a steady rhythm but a tad more force. I grabbed my chest to settle my heart. I had never been so overwhelmed with such sensation. “Faster.” I spoke again. He pounded into me quickly with a deep growl. I could feel my back arch this time. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled tightly. My heart beat hard as it became harder for me to catch my breath. “Faster.” I whimpered. Any harder and I wouldn’t have had a reproductive system anymore. He let out an animalistic grunt as he pulled me up so that my back was arched against him, the back of my head resting on his shoulder as he rammed into me with demonic speed and power. I closed my eyes and I could see the white lights returning, lightly tearing. As I climbed my way to release, I snapped my head back. “Sammy, please..” I struggled to say.

“What was that?” He spoke roughly.

“Sam….please…”

“Please what?”

“Make me cum, baby please… please…” I croaked. With that, Sam’s seemed flashed pure black and he gently bit into my skin causing me pure bliss. I could feel a tear fall from the corners of my eyes as I approached climax. He grunted profanities as he sent the both of us over the edge and I cried out as if no one could hear me. He roared loudly as his grip tightened on my hip and breast.

“There she is…” He said out of breath, wrapping his arms around me, sweat trickling down his forehead as he smiled, pressing gentle kisses into my neck. I was truly glowing. I turned to kiss him and he moaned into my mouth. “God damn, girl!” He chuckled, slapping my ass before pulling out of me. He fell back into his wheeled chair as he pulled up his pants and leaned his head back. “Shit… I gotta quit smokin’.” He laughed as I began to dress myself. I was almost fully dressed when he pulled me into his lap.

“If you quit then I have to quit.” I said pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Mm… we’ll see how that works out for us.” He giggled, patting my bare thighs.

“I think we could do it!” I said feeling suddenly positive.

“For how long?” He groaned. I rolled my eyes. For a smart man, he could be so dumb sometimes. Shaking my head, I ran my fingers through his brown locks and kissed his forehead softly.

“Who the hell knows.” I patted his shoulder and stood up to grab our shirts, tossing his thin black tee shirt in his face. “You want lunch?”

“What cha makin’?” He asked me.

“I was gonna grill hot dogs. We can brainstorm and better your plan. Beer and smokes?” I said walking to the fridge and grabbing two beers.

“What happened to quitting?” He chuckled, lighting himself a cigarette as he accepted the beer.

“There’ll be time for that.” I smirked as I reached in the fridge for the hot dogs. I could hear him laughing as he opened the sliding glass doors to his backyard to start up the grill.

“You’re hilarious, sweetheart.” He said, taking a drag.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew Additional Tags: Angst, Betrayal, Marauders, Sad Sirius Black, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, canon marauders Summary:

IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD FOR A BIT OF ANGST....

Sirius returns from a mission with the Order, believing Remus is the spy who wants to betray the Potters to Voldemort.

                                                 BETRAYAL

The flat feels too quiet, hollow almost. He would have called out aloud, affectionately, months ago, whenever he came back from a mission unscathed. Now he goes about his new routine wordlessly. After muttering complicated spells to fix the wards (each time he returns they get longer, as his paranoia increases), he bathes. He needs to wash the grim stench of death off every inch of his body, like a sacred ritual. Moody nearly got him thrown out of the order the time he insisted on washing himself in a stream in the middle of their week-long mission in Northumberland. Fuck him. Rather die clean than live dirty. It’s got nothing to do with vanity, though he won’t deny he’s that, the only side of himself he supposes he’s happy with - even that is sullied by the fact that he looks like the spitting image of Walburga Black. It has to do with new beginnings, and purification, and soothing himself. Most of the time he feels like a violin string pulled too taut, that’s about to snap and break beyond repair. He recalls James’ phrase: Fucked Up Beyond All Redemption. FUBAR. It’s a muggle phrase, it fits his situation perfectly, he snarls to himself.

They’re all FUBAR. Him and Remus especially. He’s tired and starving, but he sticks to his routine, clothes scurgified and boots out. He polishes them by hand, like Lily taught him, the steady rhythm helps, a bit. He polishes them like he needs to discover a new skin underneath the leather. Relentless and furious. He finally braces himself to face the breakfast table. Remus on the far side of the long table, reading the paper. He looks terrible, gaunt and miserable and detached. Sirius knows the full moon is tonight. He still remembers the lunar phases each month. Habit. Remus looks up briefly, like he’s considering starting a conversation, but thinks better of it. His gaze drops down to the paper again. Like he can’t be bothered talking to him, Sirius thinks. Why are they even both still living here? He wants to scream at him - why are you doing this? What the fuck happened to you? Do you think I don’t realise what you’re doing? Tell me you’re the spy, I need to know! Maybe a part of him hoping Remus will be able to convince him that he isn’t the spy. But it has to be one of them, one of the Marauders. They were the only ones who knew about the mission in June. Nobody else, aside from Moody, the Prewetts. And Fabian and Gideon are dead. If anything happens to James and Lily and Harry... he can't think about that, if he does, he feels too overwhelmed. They are his family. But it has to be Remus.

He’s not stupid. He’s not a damned fool.

He says nothing, sits down heavily and pours himself some coffee and eats the porridge that is waiting in front of him. That Remus made. Head bowed.

Remus looks up again. He senses the struggle in Sirius’ mind. He wants to hurl the plate in front of him at Sirius, overturn the table in one fell move. He could easily do it, he has more than enough strength to do so until the full moon passes. Go on a rampage, smash up the entire flat. Grab Sirius by the throat and shake him. How could you believe it’s me? Have I not been anything but loyal to you, to James, to Lily, to Peter, all these years? How dare you look at me in disgust? Say something, you spineless bastard! You don’t have the guts to accuse me, do you? How could you think for one second that I would betray you, any of you? You’re all I have.

You’re all I have.

“Pass the marmalade,” he says instead, his voice a mixture of defeat and terseness. His features betray no emotion.

Keep reading:  Betrayal

[nevertame]

you’re  still  my  best  friend,   you  know  that?

He  does,   and  to  know  it  feels  like  he’s  already  dead.   He  would  give  anything  not  to  be  here   /   to  be  back  at  the  castle  with  Zhāo,   Zǐshàng,   chasing  him  across  the  grounds  as  he  held  something  just  out  of  reach   (   —   only  for  the  both  of  them  to  be  scolded  by  Zǐyuán  for  the  foolishness.   )

❝   I  do,   ❞   he  says,   a  broken  whisper  that  Zhāo  might  not  even  hear,   armored  fingers  digging  into  the  earth  beneath  him,   digging  up  grass,   digging  a  grave.   ❝   You’re  still  mine,   too,   big  brother.   ❞   

He  turns  his  hands  over,   watches  dirt  crumble  through  his  fingers,   watches  tears  fall  into  the  soil  as  though  anything  might  grow  from  this.   (   Perhaps  the  only  thing  that  could  grow  here  is  the  smile  that  splits  his  mouth,   hidden  beneath  the  shadow  of  his  helm.   )

❝   Do  you  remember  the  day  we  laid  together  in  the  grass,   finding  shapes  in  clouds?   You  said  I  needed  to  relax,   and  then  I  wound  up  falling  asleep   —   in  my  armor  and  everything.   I  didn’t  wake  up  until  the  sun  had  set,   and  you  were  still  there,   watching  over  me.   You’ve  always  been  like  that.   That’s  why  I   ———   ❞

Here,   he  removes  his  helm,   sets  it  gingerly  down  beside  him,   looks  up  at  Zhāo  with  the  same  boyishly  handsome  face  that  has  always  looked  up  to  him   (   —   a  face  that  has  always  betrayed  just  how  young  he  truly  is,   a  face  that  has  no  place  carrying  on  his  father’s  war.   )

❝   That’s  why  I  love  you,   Zhāo.   ❞ 

Not  that  it’s  ever  been  a  secret,   but  it  occurs  to  him  now   (   of  all  times   )   that  they’ve  never  before  actually  spoken  the  words   (   —   because  there  was  never  before  any  need,   his  conscience  tells  him,   but  he  does  not  want  there  to  be  doubt  now.   )

I  would  have  protected  you,   even  from  my  father!

Bà  has  no  doubt  that  he  would  have  tried,   but  Zhāo  ought  to  know  better  than  anyone  that  there  is  no  reasoning,   no  bargaining  with  a  Sīmǎ.   (   He  has  always  so  admired  that  about  them,   but  he  cannot  risk  now  that  their  single-minded  determination  and  ambition  will  cost  him  his  life.   Zhāo  seems  to  understand  that,   even  if  nobody  else  does,   and  it  fills  his  heart  with  warmth  and  sorrow  all  at  once.   )

I  don’t  blame  you  for  leaving.   I  just  wish  you’d  told  me.

❝   Forgive  me,   Brother.   I  did  not  wish  to  force  a  choice  between  your  family  and  myself.   Please,   make  no  mistake.   I  am  still  loyal  to  you,   and  to  the  Sīmǎ.   My  blade  will  always  be  yours,   but  I  cannot  allow  the  Xiàhóu  line  to  be  exterminated.   I  cannot  allow  Cáo  Mèngdé  and  Cáo  Zǐhuán  to  be  forgotten  simply  because  so  many  others  have  sullied  the  name.   I  know  you  think  me  a  coward,   Master  Gonglü   —   and,   perhaps  I  am  afraid  to  die   —   but,   I  am  doing  this  for  reasons  much  larger  than  myself.   ❞

I’d  let  you  come  back  home   —   no  questions  asked   —   with  anyone  wanting  to  say  a  word  about  it  answering  to  me. 

❝   I  want  that  more  than  anything,   big  brother.   I  miss  you  more  than  I  can  bear   —   all  of  you   —   but———   ❞ 

The  truly  evolved  man  moves  with  the  times.   Cáo  Zǐhuán’s  voice  is  so  clear  in  his  mind  that  it  startles  him,   leaves  him  breathless,   leaves  him  wondering  if  perhaps  he  truly  has  been  a  fool  this  entire  time  for  clinging  to  nothing.   Cáo  Mèngdé  and  Cáo  Zǐhuán  are  long  gone;   his  father,   too.   Perhaps  the  more  worthy  endeavor  would  be  to  let  go  of  their  memories,   and  to  instead  help  the  Sīmǎ  build  a  world  that  they  would  be  proud  of. 

If  not,   just   —   just  do  me  a  favor  and  get  outta  here,   will  you?   I’d  rather  you  be  safe  with  Shu  than  to  be  gone  from  my  life  entirely.   You  get  that?

❝   Zhāo   ———   ❞ 

Perhaps  the  philosophy  of  it  all  matters  little  in  the  face  of  the  fact  that  he  loves  Zhāo  more  than  anyone  else  who  is  still  alive,   and  he  would  do  anything  for  him   ———   even  die,   if  Zhòngdá  deems  it  so.   Bá  rises  to  his  feet,   surges  forward  to  circle  his  arms  ‘round  Zhāo’s  waist,   weeps  into  his  chest.

❝   You  should  have  just  killed  me,   ❞   he  laughs,   squeezes  Zhāo  tight,   tight,   tight.   ❝   Now  I  seem  such  a  fool.   ❞   @dreamseat!

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Tess you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Alastor Moody!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Alastor is a character that I know we have all been keen to see on the dash, even more so when it means an old member is returning to us! Your app was fantastic and went into such detail that it gave us a really clear idea of who he is as a person and what motivates him, it was truly a pleasure to read! I don’t think I can pick out just one thing that I loved when all of it was so wonderful, from the expansion of his traits to the writing sample and his reaction to the most recent plot drop it was all so well thought out and developed. We’re thrilled to have you bakc, Tess! *your faceclaim change to Gael García Bernal has been accepted

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Tess, 21 years old, she/her, pacific time, USA.

ACTIVITY

I’m not going back to school until the fall so I have more time than originally expected. I’m able to log in daily, since the threads on this group tend to be on the longer side I’m contemplating I’ll be able to get at least one reply a day.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

I’m a former member but originally through the tags.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Hedwig because I too would die for Harry Potter. No but really I think I identify the most with Bill Weasley, mainly because I always liked the career of curse breaker and I think that going far away from the family to do something he loved was amazing (and brave).

ANYTHING ELSE?

I’m really hoping to get accepted again. I had an amazing time when I was part of this amazing group last time. I’ve been feeling a little out of it since the baby came and the doctor recommended I do something I love, and getting to write with you all is really one of my favorite things in the world. I hope I get to be a part of this group again!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Alastor Moody

Alastor: Ancient Greek for “he who does not forget”. Thus “avenger”, “persecutor”, “tormenter”, “one who suffers from divine vengeance”. Which is rather fitting as he made a career out of putting bad guys in jail, when failing to stop them before hurting innocent he made sure to avenge those lives that were lost.

Moody: Temperamental.

FACE CLAIM

Matt Ryan, or Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, or a POC rec from you. Honestly I would be willing to work with whoever you see fit.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I have always been a fan of Alastor, I just never had the confidence of playing him before. But with this plot, and everything going on, I couldn’t let the opportunity pass. There’s something about how the order is going to deal with Aversio. Slowly coming to the realization that it is because in a way they were not getting results that this other group decided to come into action. And then there’s the ministry, specially the aurors. I want to have a chance to explore Alastor’s feelings, how he questions if they have been doing a good job training the new recruits. He is going to be set on the fact that Aversio does more harm than good, but there’s going to be something reminding him that if only they had acted sooner, all of this could’ve been prevented. Plus, the paranoia is only going to grow, he now realizes that there’s definitely no one he could trust, he could very well be surrounded by enemies. I felt drawn towards him because he is a good guy through and through, his methods might not be the best, and he is not the nicest guy around, he’s far from it, but he knows what path he wants to follow, he has a clear objective in mind. I hope I get to do him justice the same way he seeks to achieve justice for all those who have been wronged.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

I’m all for Alastor/Chemistry if the opportunity presents. Alastor is way too paranoid to let himself be vulnerable, but with the right development I’ll be on board with a ship. My anti-ship would be something out of character for Alastor, like death eaters. Alastor is a cis-male and uses he/him pronouns.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-A MOODBOARD ( here )

-AN AESTHETIC ( here )

-A PLAYLIST

For Those Below – Mumford & Sons

Pompeii – Bastille

You Are a Runner, and I Am My Father’s Son - Wolf Parade

Barton Hollow – The Civil Wars

Beat The Devil’s Tattoo - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Warrior - Disturbed

Fears - Serj Tankian

The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance – Vampire Weekend

When The War Came - The Decemberists

Seven Devils – Florence + The Machine

Ready! Aim! Fire! – Imagine Dragons

Knights of Cydonia – Muse

The General - Dispatch

Broken Road - Sully Erna

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons

-EXPAND ON THE TRAITS ( and here’s a character tropes edit )

✓ Hard-working. He comes from a family of Aurors, both his parents as per canon were Aurors, and I feel like that gives us a glimpse into his early life. It’s like coming from a family of cops, there’s a need to prove you too can achieve greatness while at the same time showing people you have earned the right to where you are, and that it wasn’t given to you because of your family. So Alastor works harder than anyone, since he demands that from people he leads by example.

✓ Great mentor. He will never be one to sugar coat things, but he knows the right way to encourage people. He wants to train London’s best, and he would try his best to make sure that happens. He guides by example, and tries to keep everyone under his watch alive.

✓ Persevering. Linked with hard-work, perseverance is something in Alastor’s nature, he never gives up despite everything that has happened to him. Despite everything that’s happening in the world he will keep pushing forward.

✓ Open-minded. There’s nothing he hasn’t seen, and still believes there’s more to see. Moody likes to keep an open mind, would always listen to someone before making a decision, he’s never one to be prejudiced, as that is what’s killing this society.

✕ Harsh. Greatness is not achieved by babying people, Alastor believes in though love, it’s how he was raised. He has never been one to be tactful and is not going to start now.

✕ Gruff. Life made Alastor into a bitter person, he sounds like he’s always mad, even if deep down he cares about everyone around him, he knows it’s best to keep a rough front.

✕ Paranoid. When someone has lived what he has they would have no trouble believing that is best to be wary and not trust anything or anyone. He is constantly worried someone is going to try and kill him or worst betray him.

✕ Anti-social. He prefers to keep people at arms length, after all no one knows when is the last time he’s going to see them.

-A FEW POTENTIAL PLOT POINTS

connections & wanted plots

&&. KEEP ME GROUNDED Is not that Alastor forgets social niceties and manners, is that he just couldn’t care less whether people likes him or not. Which only leads to him coming off as a straight up asshole on his worse days, and a paranoid grump on a daily basis. He could use someone he respects and is strong enough to call him out when he’s being a jerk. To point out where the line is, and making it clear that it is not okay to cross it.

&&. BROTHERS IN ARMS You are only as good as the person fighting next to you. Someone Alastor had grown to respect and rely on. They might not always have a heart-to-heart about their feelings, but this is one of the few people Alastor knows he can turn to. Whether sharing drinks or just being there for each other, this is one of the few people Alastor can honestly say he trusts.

&&. SURE I’LL TEACH YOU Alastor has a hard time believing anyone in their right mind would chose him as a mentor. The role of mentor and teacher coming easy to him despite originally having being appointed head of the department because there were no other options around. Alastor stepped into the role and with each passing generation he gets better at preparing aurors. Now with the order he had also taken the responsibility to get them ready for a fight he wished they never had to fight. Alastor is always willing to work with anyone who wants to be better prepared and work on refining their technique.

&&. JUST PROMISE YOU WON’T END UP LIKE ME Callous grumpy nature aside, Alastor is a mentor at heart, and sometimes even if it surprises everyone around, he might end up giving some advice to those brave enough to bring up discussing their feelings with him. Rumor says the best time to approach him is when he’s drinking, that’s when he’s more at ease, he might even pour you one. OPEN

&&. FIGHT ME It’s not that he lives to make enemies, that’s just something that happens from time to time. With the wizarding society hanging by a fine thread, and Alastor living up to his last name every day of the week, everyone could easily fall into this category. Whether this is someone who annoys him, like a fellow ministry employee, or someone Alastor would love to punch their teeth out if the opportunity ever were to arise.

&&. NOTHING LEFT TO SAY BUT GOODBYE Alastor was born and raised into the pureblood life. His parents were never pureblood elitists, and coming from a long line of Aurors they had an impeccable reputation. His family was murdered before any of them could be labeled blood traitors. At sixteen Alastor was left to carry one a family legacy. He cultivated many friendships through his childhood and early years in Hogwarts. Some of those friends, that he once considered family, have now turned out to be on the other side of the war. What happens when the person you would take a hit for is the one pointing the wand at you?

&&. I WOULD FOR YOU Alastor’s family was taken from him in the blink of an eye. For years he convinced himself that caring for anyone was only going to end in pain and heartbreak. Despite having friends that he cared for and loved, he always tried to push them and keep them at arms length. After a failed engagement he accepted the fact that he was not meant to have a family. Always the man with the plan, he failed to prepare for what would happen when they wrapped their small hand on his finger. Alastor might never have children of his own, but family has always been about more than blood.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“This one is easy. A truth spell. And not like that veritaserum rubbish. We all know that bloody thing doesn’t work. But with a proper truth spell, interrogations would go smoothly. And it won’t just benefit the department, but people who are wrongly accused would have a better chance at clearing their name. Of course it should only be used with regulations, there should be training, an official team like the obliviators. Just think about how much good a truth spell could do.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I see the tactical advantage of having someone when you venture into the Forbidden Forest, but I wouldn’t risk anyone’s life, but if I have to name someone I would pick Minerva or Kingsley. And I’ll take my invisibility cloak.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“All decisions are difficult to make. But the hardest ones are probably the ones where the only choices you have are bad choices. Because you still have to choose. You still have to make a decision.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“Why would I bloody care about what people say about me? People are always going to say things about you, no matter what you do. Good things or bad things. You are still going to be judged. You can’t let that stop ya.”

Alastor shifted a little before adding, “…that I didn’t try.”

REACTION TO LAST EVENT DROP

Is no secret that Alastor was never fond of the Ministry of Magic, he never cared much for the bureaucracy and the red tape, but he had been hopeful that with Millicent in charge things would change for the better. The auror department on the other hand, well that was his entire life. Every single person in that office was his responsibility, and Alastor was not there for them. Alastor’s paranoia is through the roof, knowing that Aversio stemmed from the order had already made him doubt everyone around him, but when it was clear that the initial attack to the Ministry had to be aided by someone in the aurors’ department, well that just made him mistrust his own shadow. Alastor is angry, and more determined than ever to put and end to the war. He might not be entirely convinced about letting aversio members join the order, but at least he can keep a close eye on them. After the attack on St. Mungos he’s starting to reconsider his stance on non-lethal, because arresting people is not going to be enough, specially since the death eaters are in power and he knows there’s no way to get justice unless they make their own.

WRITING SAMPLE

They were failing. That much was clear. And in the long list of categories under which a failure could fall, their failures were the worst kind. People were dying left and right. A hate group and a terrorist organization fighting for control, meanwhile the Ministry could barely hold together, let alone put out so many fires. And the order. The order was filled with well intentioned people, kids really, they were mostly kids who had wanted to do good and ended up having to fight a war against two ruthless enemies. If fighting one group had proved to be hard, now, after what Alastor had learned. A house divided could not stand. Aversio had infiltrated the order, that much was clear, and now Alastor could not help but wonder, if the death eaters had someone on the inside too. Concentrating on those particular thoughts were simply maddening. He would rather not think about it, but if he didn’t, then no one would. There was something about human nature that refused to believe someone you care for could betray you. Life had thought Alastor better. Anyone can turn on you at any moment, people are capable of doing all kinds of things under the right pressures. Loyalty for many was a matter of circumstance. There was of course a few that were loyal, to the cause, the people they loved. Those were the ones in the most danger. The ones he worried the most about. And out of those only a few he could really trust. Trust being a term he had not used in a while, and that he was sure he wasn’t using properly. These were difficult times for trust.

Alastor could no longer remember when going to work was just going to work. When it was boring and bureaucratic, and he had to write reports, and his only concern was making sure the trainees completed the program. Now every day was a new tragedy, a new horror to be seen, analyzed, pictures taken and pinned to a wall. Alastor still remembered the day everything changed. And no, it wasn’t the day they told him he had lost his entire family. That had been so long ago, at times he even believed that the person he was at sixteen, before that, didn’t really exist, had not really existed. No. The day everything changed had been but a few years ago. At the time he had been mad, annoyed was more like it, that the auror department had been called into that crime scene when it had been cleared of any dark magic. The auror department was supposed to chase and capture dark wizards and witches, not waste their time with common crimes. But upon arriving Alastor realized that there was something far more dark, something that was about to change their lives.

“Do we keep track of hate crimes?” Alastor had asked, confusion was the only answer he got, “we should start” he had said looking at the crime scene in front of him.

He had been right, everything had changed. A war had started and it had not slowed down. And since that moment the auror department had handled the cases that had fallen under the criteria of the thing propelling this war. Hate.

It was a misconception that people got used to it. Seeing a crime scene, specially one where it’s clear how much hate was behind it. It’s a lie. No matter how many times you walk into a scene there’s a moment when you wonder how can people be capable of so much hate. There’s a moment when for a split of second you wonder what’s the point of fighting back, if all that’s inside someone’s heart is hate. But then the fog clears, and the realization that the point of fighting back if so that this doesn’t happen again. So that the next family is saved from this fate, so that the next person walking alone in an alley makes it home. It felt as if he had not slept in days, but before he could rest, Alastor knew he had to eat. He was in the middle of making diner, and some extra meals he could store for the upcoming days, when he heard a knock. The alarm had not been raised, there was only a handful of people that would be allowed near the perimeter without the defense charms going off. Alastor crossed the room in a few strides and opened the door. Panic was the first thing that came to mind, people usually sent word that they were coming, “is everything okay?” he asked as soon as he opened the door.

//SAMPLE TWO

Alastor let out an annoyed huff. He had been waiting for more than ten minutes now, talk about these people having little regard of the time of others. As he looked around it was more and more evident that he did not belong here, he was not made for this sort of job, he was the kind of person to be out there, getting his hand dirty, doing real work, he had never wanted any of this. A few days ago an owl had arrived at the Ministry, it had been carrying a very urgent letter, it requested Alastor’s presence immediately. He figured it must had been someone high up on the command chain, as he had never been one of the Ministry’s favorites, and yet he had been ordered to leave for America at once. He had offered many good reasons as to why leaving in the middle of the current situation was a bad idea, but as always he had been tasked to do the trip anyways. At least he made it clear that he was not going to play along or be nice to whoever was waiting for him. He was not one to care about diplomacy when they had so more pressing issues at hand. Now as he waited in this pristine lobby, full of people is expensive suits, he was glad he didn’t have to work here. One look at him was enough to figure out how much of an outsider he was, at least back at London people were not as elegant as the ones here. Honestly it was baffling to picture them working on such fine clothing, but then again Alastor had never been one to dress so fine, even as a child, even at the request of his parents, he had always done as he pleased. Being the youngest of four sons gave him a little bit of leeway when it came to getting away with things. But that was before he had lost his entire family, now there was no one but him, all alone in the world.

“Alastor Moody” a voice called, a very familiar voice, one that Alastor hoped he would never hear again, one he feared he was never going to hear again. “Clarissa?” he asked turning to look at the approaching figure, she was just as he remembered her and so different at the same time. The light coming in through the elegant and unnecessary, they provided an exposed lobby, glass windows hitting her just right to make her look like an angel. He quickly got rid of those thoughts, they belonged to someone long forgotten, the person he used to be. “I wasn’t even sure you were going to show up” she said with a half smile. “It’s not like I was able to refuse, I assumed the sender was well connected, as they didn’t even listen to my complaints” Alastor informed her. “Please follow me” she asked before Moody walked behind her.

They got to her office and Alastor started to list all the things she could do to improve security, she had left so many weak spots, it was during his assessment that he almost missed the way she was extremely closed to him. “What are you doing?” he demanded walking away from her, “What do you think? I’m giving you a hug, I haven’t seen you in years, I’ve missed you Alastor” Clarissa told him in a confused voice. “Need I remind you whose fault that is?” he said harshly, “I’m not the one that left.” Alastor had never been one to pick the right words, he mostly said whatever came to mind, what he was feeling, not caring how it sounded, he always spoke the truth. A hurt looked crossed Clarissa’s features, she never quite had a chance to see this new Alastor, it was hard to her to hear him sound so, bitter. “I know that, I know that I made the choice and I can’t take that back, but how could I’ve stayed Alastor? I couldn’t, not after- not when they all-” he watched her struggled for the right words, “when they all died?” he finished for her. “When they were murdered” she argued back, “how could I stay and live a life they were never get to live?” she said in almost a whisper. “Bloody hell Clarissa, I never asked you to stay so we would get married and have a family, I wanted you to stay so I wouldn’t walk into that place, into those empty cubicles, and miss our friends on my own” Alastor admitted.

The mood had grown tense; it was like even a word would set off everything they had been keeping in for years. They had survived when their friends had not, that tended to do something to people, even when they ought to have stayed together they instead had only drifted apart. “Why did you called me here Clarissa?” Alastor asked wanting to get this over with, “Because you are the best” she told him in a firm voice. “That’s not true, you know that’s not true, you know that the only reason I have this job is because there was no one else around to take it, had you stayed it would’ve been you. It would’ve been you the one to have to watch new kids sit where our friends sat, do you know how many kids I’ve trained?” Alastor asked angrily, “how many kids have not made it? How many of the ones I’m currently training remind me of them, of us? Do you? Do you know what it is to wonder if they are going to end the same way? Of course not, because you left, because you ran away and turned your back on us” he finally admitted.

“You are right I don’t” Clarissa spoke with a pain in her tone, “but I couldn’t stay” she said prompting Moody to scoff, “it was because of me that we survived Alastor. It was because of me that we weren’t with the others when- when they were murdered. How do you think that makes me feel? You were always giving work your best, you wanted to go, to get there on time, but I didn’t. I convinced you to stay, to- If we had not been so-” she shook her head, “irresponsible” Alastor said sarcastically. “So stupidly naïve to think we could have made it, if we had not been so” Clarissa looked at him to see if he knew what she was trying to say, he dared her to finish her thought, “so in love” she finally said, “we would’ve been there with them.” Alastor scoffed again, “and do what? Like two teenagers would’ve faired better than more trained Aurors in that ambush, our friends died, our mentors died, everybody that was there died, it was a trap, a set-up. What do you think we would’ve been able to do if we had been there?” he demanded. “Die with them!” Clarissa said before bringing her hands to cover her mouth.

“Why am I here Clarissa?” Alastor asked again, “I have a feeling that you telling me that you wish we had died is not the reason I’m here” he said with a smirk. “I left London in the middle of crisis, and like I said I was thrust into a job I never wanted to do, but I still have a responsibility to my people.” Clarissa reached for some files and handed them to Moody, “Whatever is happening back home” she said and Alastor scoffed, “yes London is still my home, it will always be my home” she stated, “whatever is happening, is spreading. There have been some cases of no-maj, muggles, getting killed by magical means” she said as he combed through the files, “the ideology is spreading, we need to put an end to this Alastor.” Moody nodded, “I appreciate you telling me about this. I have no doubt you know how to take care of your people, I need to go take care of mine. I’ll appoint someone to stay in touch with you about any developments, I will put an end to this. Take care Clarissa.” Alastor gave her a nod before walking out of her office. Coming to America had been a mistake, but at least it had added a new sense of purpose, to stop this madness from spreading, they had to kill it at the root. Once he was back he was not going to rest until every single person responsible was caught. Alastor had already lost everything once, he was not going to lose anyone else.

[tumblunni]

Randomly a list of ships i ships

Cos i dont think ive ever written it down? I've probably forgot some from older fandoms.

Jupiter x Looker or Jupiter x Mars (pokemon dppt) oddly she's the only one of team galactic i ship anyone with!

Dia and Pearl (dppt manga: pokemon adventures version)

Steven and wallace, maxie and archie (pokemon rse) these are my ships with the most canon evidence so far!

Lillie x protag (pokemon sun and moon)

Oikawa and Cody's dad (digimon season 2) ALSO CLOSE TO CANON YO! It makes his whole plot even sadder if you read him as he's in love with his best friend but never confessed and then had to watch him die shortly after marrying someone else...

Oh and also ken and davis from the same season because SERIOUSLY 'our hearts beat as one' when their digimon unlock a new rainbow sfx fusion transformation

Alphys and Undyne from undertale are EVERYTHING GOOD IN RELATIONSHIPS

Protag daughter x Cube (princess maker)

Protag x Yosuke (persona 4) FUN FACT in this case we have actual proof the creators copped out on making it canon, there's fully voiced dual language audio for a scrapped romance route. But instead they ditched it and then the next game in the series was somehow also empty of lgbt options and also regressively homophobic all over the place...

SPEAKING OF WHICH yusuke and protag from persona 5. Srsly wtf why does this guy have such a similar name when theyre nothing alike? Aside from the fact poor yusuke is way more out about his sexuality and gets to be the butt of a million jokes...

Protag x ellen, protag x victoria, the hypothetical polyamourous triad of all the witch girls that exists within my heart (magical diary)

Maka x Crona, black star x soul (soul eater)

Chrom x specifically male protag (fire emblem awakening) female protag version is actually canon but i always HATED how her scenes with him are all cliche anime 'whoops fell into boobs' and 'nobody likes a woman who doesnt cook'. Male protag route is infinately more romantic just cos it actually shows their personalities! I mean if they both had the same dialogue just like most other scenes, i woulda been fine with the fem protag romance geez..

Virion x Panne (also fire emblem awakening) i have no idea why this obscure pairing grasped my heart and why more people dony like it! I like it cos panne snipes back at virion and takes none of his shit like sully, but without the whole 'girl who says she doesnt love him in the first scene eventually loves him if he keeps wearing her down' thing. And i like all the interesting cultural exchange that comes from a really pompous nobleman clashing with a rough and tumble stern fighter from an ancient lost lineage of lapinthropes. I dunno, his development into appreciating women just seems more genuine when you have this sort of auxilary sign that he's changed. He's willing to drop his pompousness and go on a big mountainclimbing adventure just to get her a traditional courtship flower amoungst her people! And its really adorable to see that like.. Its his first time ever getting nervous around a woman, cos this time the feelings are genuine instead of just lust and nothing else. And it was hilarious that he tried to get drunk to get over his fears, and then he fumbled the confession because of it! They have so many great sarcasm battle scenes, its hilarious AND adorable! Oh man and the scene where they actually got really emotional and panne talked about hoping her dead family is watching from the moon, and virion being vunerable about his past and just... AAA its such an unexpectedly good couple for such wildly different charries!!

Avery x Mason (hustle cat) mason is the most badass lady ever holy shit everyone should date her and she should lift them all over her head and maybe seven cars. She's a biker gang badass and a super cake chef and can turn into a cat and just EVERYTHING IS PERFECT ABOUT THIS CHARACTER THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

Husky and Cooro (+anima) i know theyre just kids but i totally get a precocious crush vibe from cooro, and like it only ever seems that husky gets embarassed over 'but what will everyone think' rather than because he doesn't like him. And husky has a lot of issues with internalized 'i need to be super manly' type anxieties and all.

Quale and Quan (ff9) okay i guess not really a ship but a past ship? I kinda saw them as a toriel and asgore type divorced couple from how stuttery and awkward quale is about how quan left and betrayed qu society. Headcanon that really it was more like 'my boyfriend wants to go adventuring and i wanna stay and live in this safe town, and he decided that adventure was more inportant than me'. I prefer this headcanon cos really neither of them would be at fault here, yknow? Complexity! Also grandpas shipping! Both great things!

Cloud and barret (ff7) cmon yo they have a load of chemistry and have so much in common backstory wise and in terms of putting up a grumpy front and being scared of letting themselves ever love again. And barret is the handsomest character in the game! And he's super tormented and in need of love just ss much as vincent geez, even if he isnt a funky fashion vampire. But he's a BIG HUGS BEAR MAN!! And he has a sweet little daughter! And there's several opportunities for cloud to act nice to marlene and seriously imagine him as a dad!! And barret even does get a 'date' with cloud if you play the game super precisely to unlock that easter egg but its clearly meant to be a joke and all. I hope maybe they could make it more legit in the remake now we're in an era of more lgbt representation and all. Also i feel bad but i never felt any chemistry between cloud and any of the female characters? It seemed like tifa was intended to be his canon love interest and all but i never liked it, and i never felt anything more than bffs with him and aerith. Plus aerith and zack is classic sweet star torn lovers! And then literally no clue why people ship him with yuffie and elena from the turks (???) Try barret sometime. We need more barret fanart in general, even of nobody else likes this ship! Appreciate him!!

Bebop and Rocksteady (ninja turtles) look, 6 year old me wanted them to get married before i even learned that That Thing Is Supposed To Be A Man And A Woman Under God or whatever. Proof that lgbt headcanons of children's media arent just 'adults polluting innocent things'. (Srsly what is that logic? A man and a woman kissinh isnt too sexual for tv but a gay kiss is?) Anyway these weird trash mutants were good together, courtesy of the ancient small me of the past.

[sheikah]

i know people are saying the ending will be bittersweet and what that could mean, but I think it will end with jon, dany, and their heir ruling over a new form of the 7 kingdoms (breaking the wheel). As for the bitter part, I think perhaps all of the dragons die, but right at the end we see more eggs, signaling that they will live on in the future

I agree with most of this! I think that most of us in the fandom are programmed to expect the worst ever since book/season 3 because of the Red Wedding. That’s why there are so many doom and gloom theories about the ending. 

That being said, I do understand why so many people readily assume Jon, Dany, or both will die. I don’t think both will, but I would not be a bit surprised if one of them does. But the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to think they might both make it out alive. 

After reflecting more about LOTR (which GRRM frequently compares his work to) and GRRM’s assertion that he thinks readers will find his ending to be just as happy as it is bitter

“I’m not going to tell you how I’m going to end my book, but I suspect the overall flavor is going to be as much bittersweet as it is happy.”

(Source)

I feel that we can reasonably expect Jon and Dany’s survival. I think that because if we connect it back to LOTR, the principle characters in that series do live, even if it’s not all happy. GRRM had this to say about it: 

“It’s no secret that Tolkien has been a huge influence on me, and I love the way he ended ’Lord of the Rings.’ It ends with victory, but it’s a bittersweet victory. Frodo is never whole again, and he goes away to the Undying Lands, and the other people live their lives. And the scouring of the Shire —brilliant piece of work, which I didn’t understand when I was 13 years old: ’Why is this here? The story’s over?’ But every time I read it I understand the brilliance of that segment more and more. All I can say is that’s the kind of tone I will be aiming for. Whether I achieve it or not, that will be up to people like you and my readers to judge.”

(Source)

And so even though the overall tone of GOT/ASOIAF has been a bit pessimistic, and even though the the book and the show (until season 6, anyway) have been basically a practice in overthrowing expected tropes and “happy endings” for character arcs, I think we can see all of that having been an exercise in preparing the characters for their final trials. And I think that in the end, they can overcome that and be allowed to live, even if not altogether “happily.”

After all, ASOIAF is his life’s work. Who wants to spend all of this time and energy writing a series that ends tragically, even after years of tragedy? What would be the point? The theme? The message? The takeaway? If all of our heroes die, what is the reader to take from ASOIAF? 

Because if we look at other “everybody dies” narratives, there’s a clear reason why. Hamlet, for example, has a pretty unsatisfying ending in that all of its main characters die. Horribly. But we can trace the reason why for all of these characters. Hamlet himself suffered from indecision and inaction. Ophelia ignored her brother’s advice and got too swept up in romance with the unavailable Hamlet. Gertrude fell for her husband’s brother and murderer, betraying his memory. Laertes was a hypocrite–engaging in reportedly raucous and disreputable behavior in France yet trying to control his sister’s life and scold her for being potentially reckless by pursuing Hamlet. 

So it was sad when all of these characters died but we could take lessons from how they acted.

Same with other Shakespearean tragedies. In Macbeth, the title character and Lady Macbeth die because of their “vaulting ambition” to overthrow the king, stepping out of the sacred social hierarchy and trying to seize rather than inherit royalty. And Macbeth himself also paid the price for trusting in the fickle nature of prophecy by misinterpreting the words of the Weird Sisters and believing that he would be safe from traitors. 

Now let’s look at ASOIAF. Many of the characters who have died, died for arbitrary reasons. We can’t always easily trace a cause like we could with other tragedies. It’s easy to write Ned off as “too honorable” as I see many people do. But ultimately he was willing to sully his own honor in order to protect Sansa. He still died even when he sacrificed his ideals, abandoned the “right thing” of opposing Joffrey. There isn’t an easy solution to his death. 

Margaery also did everything right. She was a master of manipulating the men around her to protect herself and her family, all the while elevating the Tyrell family name. But still she was murdered. 

Deaths like Robb’s, Catelyn’s, and Oberyn’s can easily be traced to a character flaw. But that’s not the case for all of the big ASOIAF deaths. And it wouldn’t be the case if our remaining heroes were to die in the war.

Even Jon, who is constantly at the heart of the love vs duty conflict, should at this point be allowed to survive the series. He chose duty over love, chose the Watch over Ygritte. He was loyal to his men and his responsibility even when they weren’t loyal to him. He still died. 

So if characters like Jon or Dany, who have made mistakes in their arcs already and already paid the price were to die in the end, what is the point? What is Martin really trying to say about the human experience or human nature or war?

I think the characters need to live, even if things go wrong, that way at least there has been a point to all the suffering. This is especially true when we look at LOTR as a comparison piece. 

Sam’s famous speech comes to mind: 

“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.”

The same has got to be true in Planetos. I have to believe that. And I think Martin does, too. So that his story can show that even in the worst of times–like the times our world is facing now, for example–humanity can find it in themselves to persevere. Martin even said recently that the White Walkers are like a metaphor for climate change. This makes sense considering the wonky seasons in Planetos. So if that’s true, then we know that modern, topical issues and themes are part of this story. And what would be the point of suggesting that humanity will succumb and fail at combating climate change? Why suggest that we would fail at or die in the process of overthrowing despotic rulers? Why write a story that doesn’t teach or encourage its readers?

Even with the negative tone throughout, I don’t believe GOT or ASOIAF are nihilistic. I think we can expect a more positive ending. This quote says it better than I could:

“Needless to say, it doesn’t really make much sense with what we’ve seen so far that the ending of A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones would echo Lord of the Rings’ relatively happy conclusion. Though it could be the case that Martin has been saving up years and years of pain and misery for a grand turnaround that does indeed lead to a somewhat uplifting ending.

All the years of pain and suffering may indeed be building to some enormous payoff. Jon Snow will likely survive his own death and live to become Azor Ahai reborn, as the prophecy foretells. Dany will find her dragon-riding support staff. Arya will become the most badass assassin in the realm. Even if (when) more beloved characters die, at least a few should survive until the end (smart money says Tyrion will go the distance), and perhaps the realm won’t be completely frozen and shattered when the last page of the series is turned.”

(Source)

So, yeah–I think we’ll have plenty of sweet to combat what was already a very bitter story so far. However, I don’t think we will see more dragon eggs. 

Magic going out of the world was a theme in LOTR and I think it’s a theme in ASOIAF too. The Children of the Forest have now died out. Until recently, everyone in the realm believed that the White Walkers/Others were already gone. They believed dragons were gone. And the supposed abilities of people like Melisandre and Thoros are met with suspicion and skepticism/doubt. 

So I think that magic has only really returned as a way to balance the fight and help humanity face the Long Night. That’s the only reason why. And once they’ve had the Battle for the Dawn, the dragons will likely be the price paid for peace.

[diminuel]

My uncoordinated thoughts on 12x10 under the cut! ♥

A note in advance: I’m not entirely sure how to use the angel pronouns now, so I’m going to go along with what the show provided so far.

I’m not sure what to read into Benjamin playing that game every night. Does he do it because his vessel enjoys it? Or do I have to look deeper into some meaning for it?

I think Lily’s appearance is cool. I wasn’t sure if I’d like her but she’s great.

Does Lily have two angel blades because those are the blades of the ones she killed already? How did she get her hand on the first angel blade to kill the first angel of Castiel’s old garrison? Was it her boyfriend’s?

I loved Benjamin’s distress call

I like Dean’s shirt, sweatshirt thingy, the dark one with the collar slightly open.

It seems that Dean is disgruntled about Mary jumping right back into the hunting life. I understand that because he lived through a young Mary telling him that she wants out of the hunting life. I’m sure that Dean would prefer her to be the kind of mom who stays home and makes them chicken soup for dinner. If she’s out there, hunting, that means he always has to worry about her. (But maybe he also isn’t sure how do deal with the fact that his mother is a real person, with her own crap to deal with, independently of her role as mother that Dean’s familiar with.)

Judging from Sam’s “so are you just going to walk past each other in the kitchen, not saying a word” comment it seems like they’ve been doing that for a while. On one hand I’m glad that Cas is apprently haning out in the Bunker a lot (understandable, since it looks like he’s been hanging out in it for the 6 weeks the Winchesters were gone) but on the other hand I feel a bit sorry for Sam that he has to witness this kind of thing. I wonder if Sam and Cas did/ do talk.

Dean’s being a little bit of a hypocrite. Why can he get grumpy about Cas maybe causing ‘cosmic consequences’ by breaking Billie’s deal if Dean’s the one who make ‘cosmic consequences potentially following’ possible in the first place. If he hadn’t made that deal with Billie, then Cas wouldn’t have had to intervene.

Addendum to that thought: Cas and Dean have apparently not talked, but is there anyone that talked to Dean about the six weeks in isolation? If he says things like ‘it was worse than hell’ that must raise alarm bells in everyone else. So... did anyone try to talk to him about it...?

That Cas has to ask if Dean’s included in Sam’s “we’ll go with you/ we’ll help” makes me a tiny bit sad. Yes, Cas knows that Dean’s angry with him even though it’s (in his and my opinion) a bit undeserved. But he seems to think that Dean’s angry enough that he doesn’t want to help Cas at all.

And of course Dean has to ruin it by being mean. Both Sam and Cas are unamused.

(Side note: Damn Dean, your lashes look good this episode. New mascara?)

Sam tries really hard to mediate. Poor guy. Also thank you Sam for always taking Castiel’s side in situations like these. You’re the best.

Dean takes his criticising a bit too far by calling Castiel killing Billie a “knee-jerk choices”. Excuse me, Mr. Winchester?? Without Castiel’s knee-jerk choices you would be long dead. You relied on Castiel’s heart based knee-jerk choices to betray Heaven and do the right thing. You have always relied on Castiel choosing you over Heaven. So stop it. Enough.

“He’s sarcastic but he’s thoughtful and appreciative”. You tell him, Cas. And what do you mean by “what’s that supposed to mean” Dean? You know exactly what he’s saying. And you know exactly that he’s right. You probably haven’t said a word of thanks or of comfort since Cas stopped the deal from happening. For God’s sake. Dean might be thoughtful and appreciative, but he usually isn’t or at least he usually don’t communicate that when it matters. (Dean can be rather insensitive, especially when it gets to supernatural creatures. And Cas still belongs to that category after all. Just look how callous Dean was with the Zana’s deaths even though Sully was right there, being upset. Dean’s got no tact when it gets to the feelings of supernatural creatures.)

I like that Cas memorized the name of Benjamin’s vessel. And it seems like Benjamin and Cas actually talked about the topic since Cas seems to know quite a bit about their special relationship.

Both Dean and Sam seem suprised by the angel with a male name in a female vessel thing. As if they had never seen that before (in season 4 Cas and in season 6 Raphael)

While I love Castiel’s “Benjamin is an angel, his vessel is a woman” comment, I would have wished for it to be elaborated a bit. So far we still only know from canon that angels use he/she pronouns for other angels which don’t fit their vessels all the time, that Castiel doesn’t correct Dean to say that Benjamin is a man, but that he’s an ‘angel’ instead which seems to imply that their gender identity (if they have one) can’t be explained by human concepts of “woman” and “man” and that angels don’t ever comment on the gender of their or their siblings’ vessel, which implies that it usually doesn’t matter.

So back in 1901 Cas still served under Isham. He also served under Anna at one point, so when and how long was Cas actually a garrison captain? It couldn’t have been more than a couple decades. 

Cas’ “if I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know” is my high light. Dean looks so taken aback.

I love the conversations between Mirabel (Mirabelle?), Isham and Castiel. And at first Castiel’s voice is sweet and soft, but he quickly changes tracks when they start accusing him of things.

It seems to be uncommon to keep vessels for over 100 years, which I can understand. There are human souls in that vessel after all. But why do they say that they kept them so long because they’re not “careless”? Has Castiel no longer had his previous vessel available because he was “careless” and lost her somehow? I assumed that he released her upon completing his mission, or that he was pulled out of her like he was pulled out of Jimmy once. Or maybe he even lost her as recently as during the siege on hell, which would explain why Cas first had to find a vessel before he could contact Dean. All speculation on my part.

Of course Dean can’t wait outside. Of course Sam saw that coming. *lol*

Cas seems hurt when Mirabel says that they didn’t think he would care that old friends died. I mean it shouldn’t surprise him, considering how malicious angels have been to him in recent years (no matter what he tried to do for them) but he still is hurt.

Ahaha, Dean. He looks so appreciative when Isham tosses him some dollars so he can buy himself a pie.

Dean and Sam (especially Dean) have always been of the opinion that Cas needs better friends than the angels because they don’t treat him well or are rude to the Winchesters. This makes me think that a) I love that Dean & Sam defend Castiel and tell him that he doesn’t have to let them treat him so badly and b) that they don’t think that Castiel cares enougha bout angels to go through such humiliation to try to help them. I wonder why they still don’t get that because Cas has been trying and trying and trying again to help angels. Dean and Sam might have enough distance to be able to tell that they’re not being kind, but they don’t understand how much history Castiel has with these people and how much he might still care about them. And as c) I also wonder if Dean sees the parallel there; the angels disrespect Castiel’s dedication and his previous work as well as his friends, and still he wants to help. Maybe it makes Dean realize that Dean’s not behaving much better than the bad angel buddies. (Sure, it’s not on the same level, but Dean’s still mean to Cas even though it’s totally unnecessary.)

Dean, you can’t look into angel magic light. You should know that by now.

Cas back in 1901 was pretty good at doing what he’s told, but he still flinched when Lily’s kid screamed. That’s very consistent what we’ve seen so far of Cas.

Also, she’s so cute, help.

That little fancy hat.

That bland looking dress.

Cute.

Cas in 2017 is also cute.

Castiel finding such clear words to counter Sam’s argument that they have to talk to Lily because her feelings of anger and resentment are justified because her family was killed suprised me. "Are you saying these angels deserved to die? Are you saying that I deserve to die?” Of course, in this instance is was a very good idea to go talk to Lily but a simple “Cas was just following order” would of course not have worked.

I wonder why it was so draining for Cas to heal Isham. We’ve seen him heal other angels before and it never cost him so much energy. Also, something must be amazing about Castiel’s healing ability is Isham says that he hasn’t feel that good in a millenium. (Angel medic Cas *lol*)

“Cas is our family so we won’t let you hurt him” ♥♥

I know it’s a dramatic scene, but the way Lily draws the papers to the floor after she spent such a long, fumbling while to try to collect them (why even? why not just grab May and run?) is hilarious.

What’s with Cas’ “oh goodie”? *lol*

The interaction between Sam and Lily is great, of course he’d understand what’s at stake when Lily says that parts of her soul burn away every time she uses Enochian magic. (Though aside: but using sigils doesn’t right? I assume sigils channels powers through a special symbol, i.e. the power is in the word/ symbol itself, so the only price you have to pay for those kind of spells is your blood, instead of bits and pieces of your soul.)

One of the most important details of this episode was Isham’s “you survived hell. You were chosen by god” I really want to know more about this. Why was he in hell? For Dean? And why was he chosen by god? To go to hell? To rescue Dean? For something else? Tell me more!!!

Dean has never shown any regards for using the angel banishing sigil on Cas or on someone else when Cas would also be removed. Nice to see him reconsider and not use it after all. ;w; (Though I wonder if he quickly thought about all the times he blasted Cas away.)

Castiel is the best, so sweet.

Sam, there’s a chair, why are you sitting on the table?

And that’s it for now! Sorry that this is so unstructured...! And long.