#He looks different in EVERY picture but it's fine he's a cutie patootie

[fallen-child-escapism]

ew

[nkirukaj]

The Radio Demon & the Billboard Doe (2)

It's a double feature! Here take it! Take Chapter 2!

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! OC

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of sexual activity?

Genre: Angst?

Word Count: 3.8K

<Chapter 1

2. Freaky Face

“You’re a deer!” Was the first thing she said in response

“Indeed I am, darling. Though most tend not to mention it.”

“That’s cool!”

Alastor’s smile grew wider at her child-like reaction “Why thank you.” was all he said

“So what’s your name, you cutie patootie?” Charlie interjected, lovely as ever “We gotta have your name if you’re gonna stay here!”

“My name? It’s…” she stared at herself in the mirror, thinking of what she was now. She was different, yet felt the same. “My name is Voe.” A mix of the old and the new. “Yeah, Voe.”

“Amazing! Love it! Now let’s get you settled, Voe!”

Charlie had felt the need to show her absolutely everything, including the floors that she wouldn’t be staying on. The room she would be staying in was on the 9th floor. The room was equipped with a bed, a small closet, and a full bathroom, including a tub and a shower. She spoke very fast and very much. She spoke about everything. It got to a point that Voe started to tune her out. Her voice became background noise as she studied the patterns and pictures on the walls, wondering how she had the time to do this with every new guest that came to the hotel. Vaggie and Alastor had decided to join them as well, however they were not speaking. She examines the girlfriends’ faces. Charlie had her arms open and was gesturing around quickly, and her eyes were wide and alert, while Vaggie’s eye was somewhat lidded, and her arms were focused inward. Her eye was only focused on either Charlie or the floor. Voe concluded that Charlie was the bright and friendly one, whereas Vaggie was the more standoffish one. 

Alastor though…she could not get as much of a read on him because he chose to stay at the back of the group, and she couldn’t exactly get a clear look a him without very conspicuously turning her head. What she had seen of him that she could picture was his lankiness and his large sharp smile. His smile was constantly in place with only slight deviations between moments. In the time she’d had to look at him, his smile did not budge. 

“And that’s the end of the tour. Any questions?” Charlie beamed at the doe

“Um, so you have like magic right?”

“Well, yes…but I meant questions about the hotel-“ the princess mumbled under her breath

“Can you fix my glasses?” Voe pulls the cracked frames out of her pocket, the lenses gone and legs off-kilter. Charlie leans down and examines them.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure Alastor can help!”

Alastor blinks as if he’s just been brought back down to reality “Hmm?”

Voe turns to him “Can you fix my glasses?” She asks in a flat tone

“Of course!” He puts his hand out and she places the frames in them. Green and black energy starts circling the frames and they pop up as good as new

“Nice!” She takes the frames back and looks at them

“Aww, I’m so sorry! You were walking around here blind and I didn’t even notice!”

“Well, I actually don’t need them,” She smiles “I can see just fine. But I like to have them,” she places the glasses on her face. 

“Oh,” Charlie’s eyes widen as she turns to her partner

Voe turns back to Alastor, who is grinning absentmindedly. She stares at him for a moment before his pupils move down to focus on her

“Did you need something else, my dear?”

She cocks her head “No…” she drags the word out, slowly turning away from him

____________________________________________________________

Voe laid on her back in the bed of the hotel room that Charlie had shown her. What does it mean to be redeemed? How would she know when she was? Or if she was?

There were a lot of things she didn’t know, but what she did know for sure was that she would definitely go stir-crazy if she was kept in this room with nothing for her to do. She left the hotel room and sauntered down to the front desk where Charlie and Vaggie were standing and having a conversation

“So…Charlie!” She interrupts them with a wave “Would it be possible for you to give me money? Because I think that it would make my path to redemption a whole lot easier if I had a phone, a camera, and a laptop.”

“Hmm, I guess that’s true.” 

“Wait wait!” Vaggie stepped in “How is that essential to your redemption?”

“Because…” Voe drags out her words, looking for something to say “It gives me something to do. I personally feel that if I’m being productive, I will be a much better person. You know, instead of feeling awful about myself because I’m just sitting in bed all day.” She glances at Charlie, whose eyes turn sad

“I don’t know about Charlie just giving out money.”

“Oh nonsense! Charlie loves giving out money! She talked about it on the tour!” 

“I did! I do!” Charlie drops a stack of cash into Voe’s open palms

“Amazing, great. You’re the best!” She called to Charlie as she was on her way out the door.

When she returned, she had a plethora of bags. About 10, 5 in each hand. She’d developed the skill of carrying lots of bags in life, and luckily for her, it became easier in death.

“Geez! How much fucking shit did you buy?” A tall and thin white spider. Voe’s jaw dropped when she saw him, she run’s over bringing the bags with her

“Oh my gosh! You’re so beautiful! And you look social! Hi, I’m Voe!” she waves at him

He sits up and smiles “Well thank you. Finally, someone’s appreciatin’ my good looks! And the name’s Dust. Angel Dust.” he does sparkly fingers over his face

“Angie ya bitch! How gay can you be?” A sexy Cyclops woman with a crop top, ripped jeans, a boot, and a flat.

“How much of a whore can you be?” Angel says with a smirk

“I’m a whore?” She laughs, punching him in the shoulder

“Yeah, I do it for pay!”

The Cyclops woman punches him a few more times before noticing Voe “She’s still standing there,” she whispers to him. He looks back over to the doe.

“Welcome to the Hotel! Wait, what I am doin’ I don’t work here.” Angel slinks back down, the length of his body taking up the entirety of the couch.

“Hi, you’re sexy. I’m Voe! What’s your name?” She asks to the Cyclops

“Cherri Bomb…nice to meet you.” She looks a bit apprehensive before turning to the deer. She sits next to Angel, lifting his legs and letting them lay over her lap. He sits up and removes his legs

“Do y’all have Sinstagram? This is mine.” She shows Angel Dust her phone

“Voe the Bee-ow?”

“It’s pronounced like ‘bow’. It’s rhymes!”

“Oh.” Angel looks towards Cherri, silently asking for her to save “That’s nice.”

“Well, we’re gonna go,” She leans down to whisper to Angel “I got some wicked LSD, we can forget whatever the fuck that was”

“Aw Cherri, you know I’m tryna get off that stuff,”

“Alright stay then. Stay here ya’ lousy bitch!”

He scrambles to get up “I’m still comin’”

Cherri and Angel speedwalk out the hotel doors, leaving Voe on the couch alone. They were nice. She thought.

Technically, Voe did ask Charlie for money to get a laptop, a camera, and a smartphone. However, Charlie, being so nice, gave Voe way more than she needed for everything, so she also decided to make some stops at other stores, to get things like a tripod, a ringlight, and maybe some clothes. She set up all her electronics, making sure that the ringlight was in the right place to highlight her best features, and then pressed record.

“Hey, I’m Voe the Beau and I’m here to give you all my opinions on things such as makeup, beauty trends, and technology! Today I’ll start by showing you my outfit hall from today.”

She tried on dresses, blouses, shirts, pants, leggings, and shoes all for the camera, making comments about every single one.

“Now I love the pattern and length on this blouse, but the trimmings make it look like I’m about to go churn some butter,” she chuckles and snorts “and some of these shirts are not ear-friendly. So if you have ears at the top of your head like me,” she points to her ears “Then watch out. Maybe avoid this brand?” Voe zeroes in on the tag “Sinners’eye? Yeah, don’t shop there if you have ears like mine. The hats they sell don’t even have holes in them! So non-inclusive! Also by the way does anyone know a brand or store that sells satin bonnets with ear holes? Because it is incredibly uncomfortable to sleep with my ears covered. I feel like I’m deaf! Or at least like anybody can come into my room without me knowing, like shit! I will say that the shoes come with a hooves-friendly warranty which is great, not for me personally, because I don’t have hooves. No sir, I traded that for this big black schnoz.” She points to her nose. While trying on another dress, she tells the camera “I kinda dig having a tail.” She yanked on it with a bit of force on camera “I’m like a dangerous furry” she growled jokingly with bared claws. She stands directly in front of the lens once more ”I’m thinking of trying makeup next for my video, comment some brands that you think I should try. For makeup, clothes, or tech. I’m Voe the Beau, so let me know!” She wiggles her fingers as a goodbye and gets up to stop recording. 

After sitting in silence for a moment. Voe gets up to retrieve the camera. After connecting it to her computer, she turns it on and sees herself. 

“Hey everybody! My name is Voe! Ugh no. Hey, what up motherfuckers! Ugh, what? That’s way too tryhard. My GOSH, let me just do it.”

She turns on presses record again and suddenly she’s live. 

“Hey, what up Pentagram City? Y’all can call me Voe the Beau, and I’m here to tell y’all what’s Gucci and what needs to go kablooey! As you can see I love rhyming ha ha!” Is heard from demon’s smartphones, tablets, and computers. She hadn’t exactly been expecting zero views, but she definitely wasn’t expecting to get around 1,000 on her first live. 

What can I say? I really am that bitch. 

“So I just got down here to Hell and let me just say, why do we just fall out of the sky into concrete with no idea where we are or what we’re doing? I can goddamn guarantee you that the souls that go to Heaven don’t have to go through that! There’s no welcome committee or nothing. Nothing to ease you in, and I’m like ‘damn’! It’s like getting rammed in the ass with a cactus. And why is everything red? I swear the sky is red, the buildings are red, everyone wears red, or like shades and accents of it. It’s like the only color you see around here is red. I, myself am partial to the color pink. Specifically hot pink, as you can see from the fabulous outfit that I have on right now. Do you guys want to see my outfit? Of course, you do.”

She pushes her chair back and stands in front of the camera, showing off her hot pink blouse and black pants with hot pink wedges.

“I adore these shoes. Do y’all like my shoes? I got them from Sinnera’eye, but beware to all you cats and rabbits, and other animals with ears on your head they don’t carry clothes for you. You can see my full review in the video I’m going to upload later!”

Words begin scrolling up the screen and Voe leans into her laptop to read them.

“Who am I? Well, I’m Voe! I said that at the start. Someone needs a lesson in paying attention. And as you’ll come to learn-I am that bitch Any other questions? How old am I? I’m 27 and like I said, I just got down here to Hell.”

Oh Christ Gen Z is dying now

Do you guys think she’s in Hell ‘cuz she’s gay?

Are you gay?

“Yes, bitch I’m gay as fuck! I love me some pussy! I could eat that shit day in and day out. It’s my favorite snack!”

Is that your real name?

Are you Italian?

“As far as you need to know, yes that’s my name. And no I’m not Italian, I’m blickity Black!”

Does this bitch even know the difference between race and nationality?

“Yes, I know the fucking difference! I wasn’t fucking done. Slut!” She shoots back at the commenter “I just wanted to let y’all know that! No misconceptions. ‘Cuz people used to say I was Hispanic or something all the time when I was alive, and I sure as fuck ain’t letting y’all whores do it!”

Her voice is heard from many devices in Hell, including some in the hotel. Demons are crashing into walls or falling down the stairs from the sheer captivation of her sound and her image.

“So I’m staying at the Hazbin Hotel, run by Charlie...? Charlie something, she ain’t say her last name. And she is cute as fuck. Charlie is so adorable, she’s so light and bubbly and I’m like that could never be me.” She cackles into the camera “Running a Hotel of a bunch of ungrateful ass bitches, could never be me! She got a girlfriend too. Her name’s Vaggie! She is so pretty, honestly, they are both mad cute and they cute together. I’m not gonna break them up like I used to do to people. Hmm? She’s the what? Princess? Holy shit, Charlie’s a Princess? Lucifer? That motherfucker’s real? I need to meet him. Is he hot?”

While walking down the halls a certain facility manager of this hotel seems a bit put off by the lack of people that are running at the sheer sight of him, only to discover that they are glued to their devices. He rolls his eyes. Demons don’t know true entertainment anymore. Back in his day, whole towns used to gather around the radios and listen to what stories the hosts were about to spin. Now everyone’s addicted to these miniature picture boxes that rot their brains even faster than the real thing.

Although walking past these wayward souls had the Radio Demon’s ears pricked at a certain sound. A certain voice. He halts his pursuit to listen from afar.

“Apparently, I’m a doe which is super sick, and I’m the only one that I’ve seen for the few days that I’ve been here. But there’s a stag here with me. Well, not with me, but like-“ the voice pauses “No, here at the hotel. Huh? He’s like tall and really thin. Nah like lanky, bruh.” she laughs “It’s not bad! I didn’t even say anything mean! Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he’s got on a bunch of red, with little antlers on his head. Yeah, he’s got ears on top of his head, it looks like hair, but it’s ears. A doe knows.”

Alastor could hear the smugness in her voice. Who was she to be discussing him on her pathetic technological picture box? Who was she at all?

“Yeah! He’s got this big ass grin all the time.”

The comments start flooding in much quicker than before.

That’s the Radio Demon!

You’re there with the RADIO DEMON

THE RADIO DEMON DIDN’T KILL YOU?

the radio demon isn’t even all that i heard he got his ass kicked 

FUCK THE RADIO DEMON!!!!!!!!11!!!!1!!!!11!

“The Radio Demon..? Huh? This guy said his name was Alastor”

THAT’S THE RADIO DEMON

THAT’S HIS NAME 

OMGGGGGGG!!!1!!1!1!!1!!!!!!!

“Oh. So Alastor is the Radio Demon? Why ya call him that?” 

Alastor’s grin grows knowing that his reputation is still intact and keeps on his merry way. Still wondering why this girl felt the need to bring him up at all. Still, he would find that all out in due time.

______________________________________________________________

Charlie had asked for all the residents to be down at 8:30 in the morning, which is a disgusting time to expect people to be awake and ready to interact with people. So Voe came down at 9, even that was pushing it.  All the other demons were already down, so Voe commanded all the attention when she strutted in like a celebrity.

“Sorry to be late, but 8 AM is ridiculous.” She plops down on one of the couches

“That’s okay!” Charlie reassured her “We just finished breakfast and now we’re doing the first activity of the day!”

Angel points to one of the plates on the table “There’s still toast.” He glances back down at the plate, “Oop, well there’s crust.” Niffty runs by and grabs the plate “Never mind.”

“It’s fine, I don’t need to eat.”

“Huh, I guess you don’t” Angel returns to his phone.

“All right, everyone!” Charlie tries to get their attention “Everyone! Oh gosh, we’ve never had this many guests before” she whispers to Vaggie. She gets slightly louder. “Everyone! We’re just about to get started, okay so everyone listen up, please!” Everyone lowers their volume, though some, including Voe, remain distracted by their phones. The click-clacking of dress shoes is heard descending the stairs, everyone turns their heads to see Alastor approaching the parlor.

“Alastor! You’re just in time for our first activity of that day!” Charlie smiles widely at the red demon

“Oh? So it appears I’m early..” He turns on his heels and retreats back up the staircase.

“Oooo-kay! So, we’re going to go around and introduce ourselves and say one interesting thing you did while you were alive!

Ugh. Voe always hated these when she was alive. It’s always so nerve-wracking to think about. What do other people find interesting? She could never figure it out! They went all the way around, from demons talking about how they’ve hosted the 7’o clock news, to catching butterflies, to fucking 5 bitches in the same night.

“I tried Heroin for the first time and then died.” Angel offered

“You only tried it once before dying?”

“Well, I’d already done a bunch of drugs that day, but when my friend came with the horse, I knew I had to try it! Then I died.” 

“No way! I died with an actual horse! It kicked me in the ribs!”

“This is going great! Not exactly what I had planned but this working Vaggie!” Charlie is filled to the brim with excitement 

“No one gives a fuck about your horse,” Angel responded. “I was talking about heroin.”

“I know…” the girl said, sounding disappointed

“What?”

“Why can’t I make any friends?”

“You’re up new girl,” Angel gestured to Voe, who sat in silence for a moment, still pondering on what to say. She started sweating from all the pressure of the eyes being on her and her being unprepared. She couldn’t think of anything, at all. All that she could remember was her little sexcapades. She was rich of course, she had done cool things, so why couldn’t she remember any of them?

“Hey,” Angel Dust interrupted her thoughts after what seemed like forever “Weren’t you on live yesterday?”

Voe’s demeanor brightens up “Oh, yeah! I’m guessing you caught it?”

“Yeah, I caught that live too!” another demon chimed in, soon the majority of the room was buzzing about her live. Voe beamed at being able to speak on something she was prepared for.

“So you into Freaky Face or something?”

“Angel! Don’t just assume things!” Charlie butt in, also interested in the live

“I’m sorry, Freaky Face?”

“Alastor.” The whole room responded to her

Voe shakes her head quickly, “Oh no no no. I was just commenting on the fact that he’s the only deer I’ve seen besides myself.”

“Mhmm, I guess you could say mating season is open.”

“Ha! That was funny ‘mating season’” said the horse girl, to which Angel responded with a blank stare

“He’s good-looking! I can’t be the only one that thinks that. I am not the only one that thinks that. Stop making me look crazy!”

“No one even said anything,”

“Actually mating season for deer is between October and December” Voe interjects

“Well,” Charlie tries to take charge of the conversation “Alastor is a very nice-looking male.”

Vaggie speaks from behind her girlfriend “He’s…okay. But did we forget that he’s a vicious overlord who not only owns many souls but is a psychopathic, deal-making, mass-murdering cannibalistic monster?”

“Really? But he’s like…” Voe trails off, making gestures with her hands

“Like what?” Angel Dust probes

“Like,” she thinks “Cute.” some of the demons are taken aback by her claim

“You think Alastor is ‘cute’?” Vaggie questioned, hands on her hips and full of skepticism. 

“Yeah,” Voe shrugged “Like, it’s giving…stuffed animal. Or like a pet dog”

“Nah she hasn’t seen all the creepy shit he’s done around here yet. That opinion’ll disappear real soon.” Angel Dust took a swig of his drink “Don’t say that shit to him!” he laughs to himself.

“What is… ‘it’s giving’?” Charlie asked innocently 

“Ugh.” Voe slapped her hand on her forehead “It’s just… I don’t know like, that’s a vibe.”

“Vibe?” 

“It’s just the feeling you get from someone or something,” she shakes her head “I forgot y’all are ancient.”

“Wait, so what do you think of him though?” Angel questioned point-blank

“I don’t think anything about him, I don’t know him.”

“So why’d you talk about him during your live?”

“I don’t know, because he’s a buck! That’s literally it!”

“Mhmm.” Angel takes another swig

“Wait, are you shipping us just because we’re both deer?” Voe looks confused

“I’m so glad that you all feel a sense of community!” said Charlie, after having clearly lost control of the conversation. Vaggie tapped her shoulder to tell her to just give it up. Most demons were just talking amongst themselves at this point, including Angel Dust and Voe, when the very demon they spoke about made his appearance once again.

“I hope that I’m actually on time now.” Alastor stands just outside the parlor, as the demons are instantly quiet in the presence of a supposedly cruel overlord. He had all the eyes in the room on him, saying nothing.

“Well, Alastor we just finished our activity.”

“Wonderful, so I am on time!” He glances at the clock above the fireplace “Well, I have errands to run.”

“You literally just got down here,” Vaggie spoke with annoyance in her tone

“And now I literally have to leave. Best of luck chums!” He exits the hotel and the air is filled with noise again. Voe stares after him. She didn’t notice before that he had a radio filter on his voice. Was that natural or on purpose? 

“Whatcha lookin’ at toots?” he whispers in her ear

Voe looks back at him “Oh, um nothing.”

“Uh huh, maybe you’re not so weird,” he tops off his drink

“Thanks?”

Chapter 3>

[columbiastapshoes]

ATTENTION MAGENTA/COLUMBIA SHIPPERS: dinner is served 🤭 and this time it’s not meatloaf [ba dum chh]

that was a lot funnier in my head

ANYWAYS. here are some of my headcanons for the two of them and a collection of images i’ve found over the past 2ish years ive been hyperfixated on this movie!! i may have posted some of these hcs before but i. honestly don’t remember what ive said so forgive me if i repeat stuff! and disclaimers for the images: they’re from the rocky horror picture show and the rocky horror show, the one where they are Almost kissing is? a columbia cosplayer? with patricia quinn? lmk if im wrong about that one but im pretty sure that’s not nell campbell. ok with that in mind here ya go!!

-“HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” “hello”

-magenta makes columbia like. ten hour mixtapes and columbias like 😀 and then listens to all of it in one day and refuses to pause it

-they have very different music tastes but they both appreciate the stuff the other listens to, but their tastes come together with the b-52s and abba :3

-magenta is a huge horror fan and columbia is Not but she watches scary movies with magenta anyways and is constantly holding a blanket up to her eyes or is burying her face in magentas shoulder

-this involves frank but he has been their wingman since day one. like their mutual pining was obvious to everyone except the two of them and frank kept trying to be like “she’s in love with you idiot” but he was always met with a “no we’re just friends” or “you’re making it more than it is she’s not in love with me”. when they Finally got together he was happy about it for like 3 seconds and then immediately resorted to the “i hate gay people” card and every time they kiss in the same room as him he’s like “GET A ROOOOOM” and gags

-magenta is. really strong. and even though she’s shorter than columbia she can pick her up no problem (columbia tried picking magenta up one time and she did do it but she lost balance and they fell over) (they were fine)

-magenta did not realize how much she loved physical affection until columbia (incredibly clingy) came around RAAAAH I HATE THEM /POS

-this is gonna start off as a rocky headcanon but i will get to them i promise. rocky has basically evolved into philomena cunk and asks the most wild out of pocket questions at the dinner table. magenta and columbia have noticed this and before dinner they always bet on what he’s gonna ask about and at dinner when he asks something whoever’s right kicks the other one under the table (affectionately)

-magenta is a love letters girly i know im right. but since they live in the same house she just slips the letters under columbias door and runs away because she’s a cutie patootie !!! columbia always reads them and writes back and does the exact same method and they’re just like. writing notes to each other. and both of them have incredibly messy handwriting that no one except them can read ☹️☹️ so when frank tried to look over magentas shoulder when she was writing she was like “DONT READ THAT” and he was like “…i couldn’t if i tried”

might add to this more later but that’s what i have for now :3 i am so normal about them i promise. enjoy that semi-coherent rambling and the images!! happy new year everyone :D

[bathroombreaks]

i was tagged on a couple of get to know me tags by @literaturethebestfriend​ @riosnecktattoo​ @foxmagpie​ @sothischickshe​ @entwinedloop​ and @bourbon-ontherocks​ (ty all, you’re very sweet!!) and i need a distraction but i don’t wanna make 3 different posts, so under the read more are my answers to all of them hahah

name: not luz, surprisingly. that’s a nickname. it’s the spanish/portuguese word for “light” and my friends call me that because i’m the light of their lives, obviously.

gender: cis woman, she/her pronouns

relationship status: single and never ready to mingle

star sign: aries

height: 1.68m which i think translates to 5′5″ but i’m not sure

hogwarts house: hufflepuff!!

favorite animal: cats!! all types!! big cats, domestic cats, whatever cats!! except for that one type who looks like a raw chiken breast, any type of cat is good!!

average hours of sleep: around 7??

current time: a little over 4pm, but by the time i post it’ll be a little later (edit: it’s now almost 5pm)

blankets i sleep with: right now it’s summer, so none, but during winter it’s usually 2 blankets and 1 comforter

cats or dogs: cats!!!! we have dogs and i like them fine but they have way too much energy and saliva. cats are clearly the superior option, they just chill in your general vicinity

dream job: no idea, let’s not talk about it lest i have another existential crisis

when i made by blog: this march i think?? i had a sideblog on a different account with this same url but it was becoming a pain to manage it as a side blog so i made a new account just for it

followers: a little over 400

why i made this tumblr: i wanna talk to people about how beth-and-rio and anne-and-gilbert should smush their faces together

reason for url: beth and rio’s bathroom break(s) are iconic, no one else is doing it like them (and thank god for that, tbh, because sending bodyparts to your significant other ain’t cute)

3 favourite foods: codfish with cream (bacalhau com natas), Alentejo style pork (carne de porco à alentejana) and old clothes (roupa velha), which is different in portugal then it is in latin america, it just has the same name for some reason. even with doing my best with translating the names to english, these are all agressively portuguese dishes and you probably have no idea what i’m talking about, sorry hahah i put what the actual name is in between parentheses in case you wanna google and look at pictures of some of the most delicious food on earth

song stuck in my head: can’t take my eyes off you, the heath ledger version

last thing i googled: "10 things i hate about you song” because i never remember the name!!

dream trip: this summer i was going to go on a 2-week trip to italy with one of my best friends and yeah that’s basically my dream vacation. fingers crossed we can do it before we’re 90 lolol

anything i want: my cat got scared by the vacuum and i think it’s hilarious that after 7 years, he’s still scared, every damn time. what a cutie patootie!! <3

favorite color: purple!!! with blue and pink as runner-ups

last song i listened to: heaven in hiding by halsey

favourite musicians: uhmmm idk?? i’m a pretty big fan of the music made by hozier, beyoncé, billie eillish, halsey and p!atd, but i don’t like calling anyone my favourite musician, i’ve been burned before

favourite song: right now it’s probably you know me too well by nothing but thieves, i can’t stop listening to it, it’s so good!!

last film i watched: mean girls

last show i watched: the good place

favorite original character: i have no idea what this means, sorry

sweet, savoury or spicy: sweet!!!!!

sparkling water/tea/coffee: none of these are good, though lemon tea with lots of honey or sugar is drinkable, unlike sparkling water or coffee

pets: 4 dogs, 2 birds, 1 cat. personally, the cat is my baby, i love him the most and i feel no qualms about admitting it

[team-adults-blog]

4.07 Gimme Shelter

They didn’t even get the rights to play the Stone’s song. 

Let’s talk about chicken nuggets, Grey’s Anatomy, and Ethics.

HERE WE GOOOOO THAT BLACK RAIN IS REAL

Damn everyone just stripped. Hero boys out to save that kid Harper left for dead.

FUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK. I literally had to pause the show and take a moment to calm down. Everyone’s half nakey. I can handle this. It’s just that it’s EVERYONE. ALL AT ONCE. 

“Why don’t you make a fire, you’re good at that” OOOHHHH Octaviaaaaa burn him. Puns.

Big bro Jackson showing Clarke around like a cool bro should. Abby’s smile is radiating (hah) sunshine and can provide all the solar energy that rocket needs. Jackson is so happy for her. Sachin is the best because he only gets these little moments and kills every single one. 

AWWW she needed to see her mom and get a hug. This is so nice. They used to be pretty mad at each other over dumb misunderstandings and now look at them. I’ve missed you so much. It’s important to remember Clarke is what, like 16-17? Listen. She may have been forced to grow up but you’re allowed to turn into a kid again when you go home. I made my mom buy me chicken nuggets over break and I’m older than Clarke so get wrecked. Here I am, going to brewerys with friends and coming home for the nuggets. But I’m like. An adult. So I make them in the oven and not the microwave. Plus you don’t have to count how many nuggets per 11 minutes. You can have as many as you want. This is important to me because I have no self-control. I also talked my friend into buying the dino chicken nuggets so I’ve basically been living off of beer, nuggets, and smoothies. I’m the picture of health.

Raven’s sedated? AKA you couldn’t get her to take it easy. When was the last time you slept? Um. Try the last episode? Murphy wasn’t only asking do I need to go get the doc, but also do I need to go wake the doc. “I’ll sleep soon enough, one way or another” to quote my cutie patootie B, “dark” aaannnndddd Jackson told on you to Clarke anyways because he knew you’d try this crap. 

Bone marrow? Literally Mt. Weather. Ethicssss. Clarke, why are you not alarmed? DOCTOR LORELEI TSING WAS DOING SOMETHING VERY SIMILAR TO YOU MOTHER (who should also remember this) AND NEITHER OF YOU ARE TALKING ETHICS EXPLICITLY TO EACH OTHER? It’s different because Luna is “ok” with giving you her bone marrow, but creating a human test subject against their will? Whoaaa, Nelly. Glad we’re not rushing into this yet. And Emori is going to misinterpret things. Abs is going to make it voluntary like the culling, right? You don’t need to freak out.

Clarke gets laid, 2 hugs, a SHOWER, and a NAP. All in 2 episodes. She is living the dream. That nap is what she needed to be calm and collected later.

Jump scare! Oh shit someone’s here. I hate this. It’s scary. I fucking screamed so loud. I’m hella tired and saw it coming and still. Apparently I use real swear words and more of them when I’m tired.

Yeah, Murphy! Kill ‘em with a cutting board! My weapon of choice in that kitchen. It’s sturdy and will knock a dude out. 2nd choice in that kitchen is a frying pan because it has a handle. #tangled You’d think knives right? You have to be able to get close to use a knife, and that grounder could kick my ass. My strategy: hit him with something sturdy and solid- not heavy because then he’ll see it coming- and then if he’s not k.o.’d  get him in a headlock. we’re not about stab wounds. we’re about concussions. #5andcounting

Guys Forever is coming back! What a good ad too. “It’s a long story.” I screamed. CW cancels a show for low viewership even though it has an interesting plot, only to bring it back 2 years later. “It’s a long story” covers both the behind the scenes process of bringing it back and how he came back to life this time. The water coming out of the body locker? Fantastic. I knew instantly. But I didn’t believe it until I saw his face. I am excited. Amanda in France is excited.

Bellamy distracted driving in the rain and gets stuck in the mud. Kane has zero ability to help. Awful. All he can do is say sit tight, babe. You’re self-sacrificial, but come one. This sucks so much.

Octavia and Ilian stuck in an elevator I mean cave (thanks B for identifying the actual name of the trope because I was just calling it cave but you’re smarter than me). What a classic way to make two people talk or hook up. Have y’all seen Greys Anatomy? People would just halt the elevator to have an important conversation and/or sex. I should have maybe realized this is what it’s called earlier...They’re not using it as much currently (S13 baby), but it got so bad in the early years it became a bit of a running joke that gets carried onto the spin-off, Private Practice:

This screen grab (from the google.com) may actually be from Grey’s while they were still trying to sell the spin-off. Like when Psych had that The Finder episode? I don’t remember, it’s been years. Anyways, on The 100 they’ve used the trope a little more tactfully: S1 Finn/Clarke hook up and acid fog, S2 Kabby talk about deserving/not deserving salvation in Ton DC. Uh there are most def more but I give up.

The trope for the cave scene felt very in your face, glaringly obvious. Ilian tells Octavia his sad story, then he says it’s her turn. O’s gonna pass. Feeling numb hard. But everytime I find myself saying “fuck it, I’m tired of being this way” a little voice (my conscious, not the scary ones) tells me that the “I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all” mindset is actually incredibly unhealthy and dangerous. The show could have played the entire song “Pain” by Three Day’s Grace and it would have been spot on for what’s happening in this scene (except for who’s actually initiating the sex). “Just make me feel something else,” that’s using someone. That’s how you get in trouble with people because you’re not taking their emotions into consideration. So maybe Ilian does want this, but it’s clearly not the way he would want it. He pushes Octavia away more than once before he gives in. It’s so clear from an outside perspective that it’s wrong, and yet it makes sense emotionally. To me at least. I have a lot of repressed memories that are surfacing and I would like to shove them back down where they belong so we’re just going to leave this and go somewhere less personal.

“It’s good to hear your voice.” Damn right I would rather talk about Kabby. SOOOOO sorry to be the bearer of bad news but we’re running out of water Abs. We’re getting pretty desperate. I trust you 100% to make the right choice on your medical ethics question. This whole conversation is great because Paige and Ian are acting alone in radio scenes; they’re not feeding off each other. Being able to bring up that emotion by yourself is commendable (for Bob too) and they’re all so lovely. Back to the plot- Kane has made poor decisions before, most notably the culling, and Abby has pretty much always been on the right side of the moral issue, trusting the people to volunteer. Abby will do the right thing, she always does is Kane’s angle from being wrong as well as building this trusting and loving little thing. Speaking of which, Clarke you didn’t send his love? Sure they radioed later but. This isn’t a “tell them I say hi!” from my mom whenever I go to my brother’s house. This is important! (sorry mom) Now, the questions:

Take a life to save everyone? Is it murder? Even if we don’t call it murder, could I live with myself if I did this? Whenever philosophical questions come up, I want more details before I commit to a side. Specific circumstances will drive the answers. Unfortunately, they’re operating under a lie Emori is telling everyone, a lie that says, he’s a bad guy. A really bad guy. Even if we’re not 100% ok that this is a forcible injection of nightblood and then we’ll see if he dies or can run out into the world, it’s not like we’re doing this to a sweet child. Clarke reassures Abby that it’s a good decision, but Abby was about to do it anyway, so are they framing it as Clarke holding more responsibility? Or did they just want to give her some? Everyone there shares the responsibility- I won’t call it blame just yet because they don’t know- but doing this gives Clarke a bigger piece? Will finding out the circumstances they think are driving the situation are lies change how they feel about their decision?  Of course! Will Abby feel incredibly guilty? Of course! Does it matter to anything other than your conscious that he’s not the bad person Emori lead you to believe he was? You still made the decision to do this against his will. What a #fun plot to explore, especially with Murphy knowing it’s a lie as well. It’s not if the others find out, but when.

The Blakes and dad!Kane are ripping my heart apart. Kane’s just trying to keep Bellamy safe and reassure him. He missteps. Big. “your mother would be proud of the man you’ve become. I know I am.” He reads that Bellamy need to know he’s doing a good job despite things being out of his control. If he had said “I’m proud of you” he would have been fine. But. Ya didn’t. “You floated my mother.” Damn. He sure did. For having Octavia, the other kid you’re highkey trying to parent. Nothing like a good reminder that all of the delinquents have good reasons to hate/ fear Kane because he put them all there. Jaha gave the order to drop them on the Earth, but S1 Kane arrested them and floated a lot of their families (which makes the dad!Kane bits a little sad). It’s a nice slap in the face to wake up and remember ALL of the character development he’s gone through since the pilot. He’s incredible now, but he still has a lot of baggage he hasn’t had to really deal with aside from Octavia and Abby. He and Clarke never even talked about it back S2 when they started teaming up bit by bit.

He blunders the Harper situation because he’s too worried about Bellamy, Peter and Mark/Matthew (I’ve already forgotten which) and Abby. “Who you want to be doesn’t always win.” Ok. True. But that’s a shitty thing to say to Harper who’s already feeling like shit and has told you she’s wrecked with guilt. You dropped the ball there. ESPECIALLY when you’re trying to comfort Octavia after she ALMOST murders Ilian TWO HOURS AGO. ??????. Harper not off killing people, she just freaked out in a crowd/mob/crazed herd environment and this guy grabbed her. She shook him off and instead of fighting to help him, she lets herself be pushed along by the crowd. She’s not a terrible person, her guilt is evident of that.

Bellamy gets back- how did he dig that rover out of the mud all by himself? Kane tries to apologize, Bellamy flips his line from earlier back in his face. “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” I can’t save Octavia. You can’t save me. Savage. Gut punch. Which must be even worse when you think about how those arms pushed a 2,000 lb rover out of the mud. Boy packs a punch. Poor Kane. He deserved it after bringing up Aurora Blake, that doesn’t make it hurt less.

Octavia throws her weapons away and is taking Ilian home. She doesn’t want to fight anymore. I’m glad, but I’m not sure how sleeping with Ilian brought her to this conclusion. If I missed a line help me out.

My exact thought process on the last scene: OH MY GOD IT ISN’T HIM. EMORI. MURPHY WHY DO YOU GO FROM ALARM TO SMIRKING AND THINKING “THAT’S MY GIRL.” THIS IS NOT HOT.

Shirtless everyone and cool questions give this episode a 9/10. I’m fine with being unclear as to where Octavia is going, I’m not cool with not understanding the morning after and how that decision was made because its 1) really important and 2)the show acknowledges it’s important enough to show is (unlike Abby’s rings). -1 for that.