#He barely knows anything about his dad beyond him being fascist

[thelesbianthespianposts]

the Star Wars fandom makes a lot of jokes about Din Djarin not knowing anything about Star Wars and dating Mr. Star Wars himself. And while that is true and very funny, I would like to point out that Mr. Star Wars doesn’t know anything about Star Wars either

[adarlingwrites]

Absolution

Summary:

noun: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

The Capital Wasteland lauded the Lone Wanderer as a hero, a Messiah, a savior who's willing to give her life for the Good Fight. Beyond the legends, the propaganda, and the mythification that surrounded her legacy, there is only one person who knew her bare soul. She gave him his absolution, and now he will fight for hers.

XIII

December 28, 2277.

“Wait. Enclave? What the hell is an enclave?” Butch asks, brows furrowing.

“In this context, they’re the other group of power-armored assholes running the other radio station with patriotic music, and fancies themselves as the United States of America, though I think they really are what remained of the USA. They’re also the bitches responsible for my dad’s death, so there’s that,” Percy tells him.

“Holy shit,” DeLoria murmurs, throwing back another shot. “Hey hey wait, how do you know that? I didn’t pay much attention to history class but I don’t remember Mr. Brotch mentioning anything about the American government going all psycho with power armor.”

Percy pauses, brow wrinkling. “Dad mentioned something when I was younger, about how some of the history books we study as kids didn’t paint the entire picture, and when we were reunited in the wasteland, at some point when one of his scientists switched to the Enclave radio during dinner, he asked her to turn it off. Said it was run by fascists that came from a failed pre-war government.”

“But how does your old man know about that when the vault was sealed- oh. Oh right. The Overseer lied to us.” Butch finally gets it. “Damn.”

“Yeah, and look at where that got us. I always suspected that things weren’t always what it seemed. Plus, the truth slips out of Old Lady Palmer’s mouth whenever she mentions dad “arriving” in the vault. My doubts were confirmed when I looked through Almodovar’s terminal, before I opened the door. There were scouting reports. Pictures of giant ants.”

The bartender serves Percy another shot and she gulps it down before resuming her story. The number of cigarettes in DeLoria’s box is dwindling, and so did mine.

“Then when I got to Megaton, some of the locals knew about the brainwashing stuff, and all the pieces of the puzzle fell in place. Finding out that dad was parroting the Overseer’s propaganda hurt. The worst part is? I haven’t forgiven him before he died.”

“I um… I’m sorry, Perce.”

My friend shrugs at DeLoria. “It is what it is. I miss him already. He’d know what to do. I wish I didn’t argue with him before those assholes...”

A sniff resounded in the mostly empty bar. Soft cries escaped Percy’s lips, tears streaming down her red face. I wanted to offer an arm, a hand, anything , but DeLoria already wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Right. Great. That’s probably for the better. Sticking my non-existent nose in her business is becoming a dangerous habit.

Last night was probably a mistake.

“Okay, I think you had enough alcohol for the night,” the barkeep announces, and takes the scotch away. “The two of you, make sure she sleeps it off.”

“Hey Butch, you said you were gonna start a new gang, right? May I suggest ‘Our Dads Got Fucking Killed by Fascists’ for the name? We three could be the first members,” Percy slurred in between sobs. How she can find humor in the situation is beyond me.

“Yeah, she’s wasted alright,” Butch mumbles. “Hey, um, I don’t exactly have caps on me yet. Is Perce gonna pay the tab?”

I scoffed, fishing around Percy’s pack to pay off our bill. After tossing a few caps to the old lady, I helped Percy to her feet, and so did DeLoria. It was a struggle. I am a few inches shy of seven feet, DeLoria’s around six, and Percy is just a little taller than five. DeLoria looks at me with a weary smile. The two of us did the best we can to ensure this small girl doesn’t land face-first into the ship’s metal flooring. Us both being inebriated and Dogmeat bumping into us every three seconds did not help. I heard a patron that frequents the bar snicker at the sight of us, a girl about Percy’s age with the shittiest pigtails I’ve ever seen. On a human, anyway.

“Y’know what? Just carry her,” said Butch, rubbing the back of his neck. “This isn’t working. I need to get some shuteye for my first day as a barber tomorrow too. See you two around.”

“Goodnight, Butch,” Percy slurs, half of her ass leaning on a nearby table for support.

I nodded at the greaser and he left the premises, the confidence in his gait replaced with drunk swaying and awkwardness. Gathering our gear, I carried Percy’s pack and weapons on my back, then I swept her off her feet in a bridal carry.

She’s gotten lighter.

“Hey, big guy,” slurs Percy, hiccuping. “You do know that I am -hic- perfectly capable of walking, right?”

“The last time you said that, you almost fell off the boat.” I started heading towards the exit.

My friend sighs, shaking her head in resignation. “I might as well enjoy riding you then.”

I froze in my spot. The girl with the shitty hair snorted her drink and outright laughed at us. I couldn’t bring my eyes to look at Percy but I know that she’s even redder now, and she felt a few degrees warmer in my arms.

She stammers, slightly flailing. “I mean, I might as well enjoy you- the ride! I might as well enjoy the ride! Dammit!”

“Sleep it off, Percy.”

“Hey, lovebirds,” the bartender barked at us. “Get the fuck out of my bar and go hump each other someplace else. I’m closing shop.”

We left in a hurry.

Percy was breathing softly, seemingly asleep when we arrived in the Weatherly Hotel, the only clean place to sleep on the boat, where we were greeted by the owner and a Mr. Handy. Beside her, the boy we rescued and brought from Grayditch stands up and runs to us.

“Hey! You two came to visit! Whoa, what happened to her? Is she hurt?” the boy exclaims.

“She’s fine, just tired. We need a room.”

“Hi, Bryan,” Percy slurs. She wasn’t asleep after all. “Shouldn’t you be asleep already?”

The owner smiles. “She’s right, Bryan. Off to bed.”

“Aw. Aunt Vera, I wanna hang out with Percy and Charon more.”

“You can do that tomorrow when Percy is feeling better,” Vera replies, and she nods to us. She had the room unlocked and I stepped in, placing Percy on the bed, and I dumped our gear on the floor. I locked the door behind us afterwards.

While I made sure nothing was out of place, Percy was sloshing water in her mouth, which she spat in a bucket. Staying clean even when she cannot take a full bath are some of her habits and rituals that I got used to. They’re probably good ones. She’s not resistant to disease like I am.

I turned to check on Percy. She had stripped down to her underwear, glasses haphazardly tossed to the bed.

The alcohol in my system is impairing my judgment. I should be turning around and should not be watching Percy tend to herself, but I just watched her. Life in the wasteland claimed some of her softness, and she had a few scars here and there, but she’s still attractive. Her legs are toned from all the walking we do, and her shoulders slightly are wider than her hips. When she turns around though, her behind is… something else.

Wait.

I’m looking at her bare ass.

I need to turn around. I need to turn around, but my body isn’t letting me. I can feel myself tenting at the crotch of my pants. This isn’t good.

When she turned to me, naked, swaying, and smiling, I thought I was in another dream, but I felt her warm breath and I know I’m awake. Things are happening too fast. My eyes dared to meet hers, then it trails below, to her small erect nipples, wet and shiny from her half-bath, and the dark patch of fuzz between her legs.

Damn it. I wanted to claim her. Act on the fantasies I have about her on nights that my body was too warm for my own liking. Put those nipples in my mouth. Bury my face between her legs. Pin her against the bed and make sure the entire boat hears her cry out my name.

“Big guy. Come to bed with me?”

But I hear the slur in her speech, and it took all of my willpower to shake my head.

“No. Percy. You’re drunk,” I say to her firmly.

“And?”

“I don’t want you to do things you’ll regret later, and I do not want to take advantage of your vulnerability.”

“Wait, who said anything about- I just want to sleep next to you again, Charon.”

“Naked?”

Mouth open and brows furrowed, she looks at herself, and curses. “I am- oh no, I am so sorry, holy shit,” Percy apologizes. “Fuck. Fuck! Stupid ass drunk idiot! I’m never drinking again,” she says to herself.

“Keep your voice down. I’ll go look for something you can wear.”

“Dammit, Charon I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to harass you like this, oh my God-”

“I do not feel harassed, but I appreciate the apology. Now, refrain from making any more noise,” I tell her, and I reach into her pack. A flimsy red nightgown was the last thing I expected.

“Percy, is this fine? This will not protect you from the cold much.”

She looks at me, then at the thing, and snatches it from my hand. “Yes! Um, thank you Charon. I found it when we were looting and-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Percy. Get dressed.”

She nods, turning around and dressing herself, then she clears her throat. “All clear. Your turn.”

I cleaned up and changed into something more suitable for sleeping, Percy’s back in sight, her arms wrapped around herself, shivering. When I finished changing, I got in bed.

We lay on the bed next to each other, but she seems so far away.

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“Charon. I don’t want you to think that I’m like some of your former employers who, uh, used you for your body.”

“I don’t think of you that way.”

“That’s a relief. You’re important to me.”

I look at her, and she’s facing me now, eyes soft and filled with a feeling I cannot describe. “Thank you. You are important to me too.”

Burying her face in my chest, she wraps an arm around my waist. I pulled the covers over us, and I held her.

“Night. Love you.”

February 7, 2278.

Two days after DeLoria’s first visit, he came over again. He brought with him a few of Percy’s belongings from Megaton, including Dogmeat’s teddy bear. The mistress entrusted a copy of the house key to the greaser, much to my dismay, but the dog has been restless without Mr. Bubbles and having it back gave me some relief.

It smells more like dog slobber now than it did Percy, but Dogmeat is still comforted by it. He misses her. I miss her too.

Dr. Li said she is getting better, but she’s still cautious. The doctor told me to not have too much hope; she had seen patients seemingly recover only for them to crash after a few days. It scares me. I wouldn’t know what to do with my life if Percy dies.

Dammit, I don’t want to think about that. She is going to live. Percy is a tough gal.

At this point, only Dr. Li, the greaser, and I are allowed in Percy’s room. She caught one of the scribes she entrusted attempting to extract blood from my partner without her authorization. I know something’s up, but the doctor isn’t budging. What is she hiding from the Brotherhood about my partner?

One of these days, I might need to confront her.

Smoking isn’t allowed in Percy’s room, so DeLoria and I just chewed bubblegum in silence while I maintained our equipment. I sorted out Percy’s change of clothes, came across that flimsy red sleepwear, and tucked it under her other belongings, what’s left of my skin burning hot. I’m doing my best not to let my mind wander to that night. Butch is fiddling with his Pip-Boy, identical to the one my partner owns, and I sigh in relief in knowing that he didn’t see me touch that thing. He already has several wrong ideas.

While I was hastily putting it away, a slip of paper fell.

It turned out to be a photograph. She found a camera when we stormed Paradise Falls, to save some kids. I remember the look on her face when Little Lamplight’s brat of a mayor told them that slavers took their friends.  We ended up opening the slave pens and trashing the place. Percy and I told them to find Hannibal Hamlin in the Washington Monument. Meeting Hamlin was one of my nicer memories from the past few months.

I’d do anything to see the determined gleam in her eye again.

I look at the photograph. It’s of me and the dog. Why would Percy keep something like this?

In the photo, I am asleep, taking a nap on the couch, and the dog was laying on my chest, looking at my partner behind the camera. I flipped it over, and there was some writing on it. Months of being taught by Percy paid off. She taught an old dog new tricks: I learned how to read.

“1-13-2278. Charon and Dogmeat.” This was two days after we got rid of my contract.  “The two loves of my life, after scotch,” she wrote under that. There’s a hollow heart drawn next to it.

I snort at the caption, knowing Percy’s sense of humor. Calling me Mr. Dreamboat, joking that I am her boyfriend… hell, she managed to freak out a few of the bigots in Tenpenny Tower with it once.

Now that I’ve thought about it… the playful nicknames, the touching, the concern, her putting me above herself, the trust she puts in me, the “love you” she mumbled while piss-wasted when I slept next to her in Rivet City; how did I miss all the signs?

Was I too taken in by the belief that smoothskins cannot harbor these feelings for ghouls? What did that damn kiss in the rotunda mean?

Does she even know the consequences of that kiss? If blondie wakes up and tattles to the Brotherhood about the Lone Wanderer kissing her ghoul bodyguard before running inside the chamber, it will ruin her. They might treat her even worse than before. My fears of people hurting her because of being associated with me gets worse as the days pass. There are so many things I want to ask her, so many things I want to talk about, but she’s still lying there, unconscious, under life support.

This can’t be the way things end.

Does she love me the way I love her?

I just want to know my place in her life.

[snarktheater]

Shadowhunters — Episode 2x16

Last time, Sebastian…I mean Jonathan Morgenstern…revealed his true identity and killed the real Sebastian Verlac. So I guess that means the plot will finally progress past that, right?

Right?

Yeah, spoiler: no it doesn't.

In other despair-inducing news, Simon's still getting an ungoldy amount of screen time in various plot cul-de-sacs for some reason. You'd think someone would realize that he has no bearing on the plot and either write him out in adaptation or actually incorporate it in the plot better, but, nope!

Luckily, I can sum up his subplot much quicker this time around. Maia wants to cheer Simon up, because he's moping over the Clary situation and killing someone. Which, the latter at least is a decent enough source of angst, so of course they'll barely talk about it and spend the rest of the episode avoiding the issue entirely. Which annoys the hell out of me, because there are really interesting points to make, regarding both the ethicals and the emotional aspects of killing in self-defense (which Simon did). Instead the show…seems in a rush to move on from it.

Anyway. Maia offers happy hour to lift Simon's mood, but, well, getting drunk got him in this situation in the first place, so that's a no. Hey, some good decision making, finally!

Instead, Simon mentions he's visiting his family for Yom Kippur, and his grandmother's even coming from out of town. Maia expresses concern that he hangs out with mundanes in his current state, where he could be a danger, so she basically invites herself, even though Simon points out that's not really something you do for Yom Kippur. (Side-note: I'm not very familiar with Jewish holidays, so I'll just take everything here at face value. If you want to raise issues, I'll remind you all that I have comments on this blog)

So we cut to dinner, where Maia introduces herself as Simon's girlfriend, and charms everyone with her \~hidden depths\~. By which I mean she's studying marine biology in college, and really, it says a lot about the show that Maia's been around for most of the season and it's the first time we're learning anything about her beyond "she's a bartender and she's seen some shit".

But then, drama! Simon's mom apparently has a tradition of telling everyone in the family what sins you're atoning for this Yom Kippur, and that might mean Simon will have to confess to being a vampire, and, you know, killing a dude. Oh no, whatever shall he—

Yeah, Maia makes something up to save face. He's fine. Ironically enough, Maia ends up talking about how she's estranged from her family and wants to reconnect with them. Even though 1) Simon's family are total strangers to her, 2) she's not even Jewish and doesn't observe this specific family tradition and 3) doesn't owe Simon shit.

So Simon's safe, dinner was perfect, and Simon apologizes for never finding out more about Maia. Which…I guess apologizing is the best he can do at this point. Maia's fine with it, and gives him a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Must be true love. You know, until the show feels compelled to make Simon and Isabelle hook up. I don't really expect them to change the book's endgame ships.

So that was a completely pointless interlude. Let's check in on the actual plot, where Jonathan has taken Valentine to his cottage by Lake Lyn, in Idris. He does a whole lot of monologuing at Valentine throughout this episode, and…I'll be honest, I kept zoning out during it. I know, it's not really good criticism to boast about your inability to keep up with the thing you're criticizing, but it was all generic rehashing of what we already know about these characters.

"You made me what I am, Father. Everything you did to me created this. And now it's my turn to replay the favor."

I mean, this is ominous enough, but like…we know that Valentine made him who he is. And it doesn't really tell us much about his motivation going forward, because "repay the favor" could be misconstrued in any number of ways.

Well, I'm lying a little bit. We don't know everything that Valentine did to him. Remember how Jonathan's true form is burned to a crisp? I took that to mean he had been permanently like that after the Fairchild house burned down. You know, when he was a baby and Valentine faked his death. But that's not actually the case! Turns out, in this continuity, Valentine was so afraid of his own son's murderous tendencies, he ended up sending him to Edom. You know, literal hell.

This, however, backfired, because while Jonathan was tortured (including having his skin burned off as he is now), he was also taught to use his demon powers. Which, as I hinted at in the previous episode's review, he can only use while in his true form.

"I may be grotesque in my own skin, but with it I have power that you could only dream of."

He still stays as Sebastian most of the time, because…

"I think it rather suits me."

Translation: it's easier on the budget. Which, fair enough. I prefer looking at Will Tudor's face anyway.

All this comes up because Valentine also has no idea what his son wants, or even how he escaped. For the latter, turns out he and Azazel made a deal to basically free each other. But their motives are separate; so Jonathan's not after the Mortal Instruments. What does he want, you ask?

"You'll find out soon enough."

Allow me to yawn.

Well, we do find out his immediate plan eventually. By "repaying the favor", turns out Jonathan means sending Valentine to Edom like he did to him before. Which leads to a race against time, since our protagonists kind of want Valentine back.

Speaking of which, the protagonists! I haven't talked about them yet. Well, Jace is a one-track mind who's really sad that Clary keeps avoiding him, because it's not like she has the right to mourn her relationship with Simon or anything. Clary, thankfully, will have none of it.

"Jace, Valentine's missing, okay? We have more important things to deal with right now."

Speaking of important things, Alec's apparently taking the blame for Valentine going missing. On both ends: the Downworlder cabinet is currently meeting at the Seelie Court, without him, which isn't a good sign; and the Clave is sending a representative, possibly to replace him as head of the Institute.

But no, it's actually Robert, and he saved Alec's job. Yay, I guess? I'm never sure what the expect me to think about that. I mean, the Clave is corrupt and/or inefficient, it's definitely bigoted and a little fascist, so…why should I be happy whether the protagonists are in good standing with them?

Somewhere, in another universe, the Shadowhunter books are about overthrowing the Clave and making a new Shadowhunter organization composed of Nephilim and Downworlders working side by side and making decisions together. Sadly, we are not in that universe, so we're meant to be relieved that Alec still leads the Institute. And we're also supposed to care about his issues with his dad cheating on his mom. Which, I guess I feel sympathy for him, but also, Robert's making it really hard to root for him.

"I never meant to hurt you. But I fell in love. You of all people should know what that's like." "Magnus isn't an affair!"

Yeah. As they say, bitch please. The issue with cheating is that you committed to be faithful to someone else, not that you're in love. I can't believe I still have to say that.

Alec, being the bigger person to his own father, decides to stop arguing about this and focus on the search for Valentine. Which leads us to…well, that.

Turns out, Jace requested to be assigned with Clary, right after she expressed the need for some space, because disrespecting someone's wishes is sexy, you guys. So sexy. Oh, wait, no, I meant it's terrible and you shouldn't do that.

Anyway. The Clave believes Valentine's still in New York, but Jace doesn't think so. In fact, he's guessed Valentine's exact location, because…Mary Sue Guessing Powers, I guess? I mean, he does know Valentine, obviously. The issue is more…Valentine didn't pick the cottage, Jonathan did, and Jace doesn't know him at all. Lucky coincidence?

Whatever. Problem is, Jace didn't get permission from the Clave to Portal into Idris to search the place, because the Clave is useless. Since a warlock can't Portal into Idris's wards without permission, this is a problem…for about five seconds. Time for more of Clary's convenient new runes! Even better: this time around, the rune just happens to be in the shape of Lake Lyn on the map. I don't know how that matters, but the show decided to do it, so it must clearly be relevant and totally not something utterly random.

So Clary opens a Portal on the fly, gets it right immediately, and they take it to Lake Lyn. Clary does make an excuse that they have to take it right now because she has no idea if she can open another one, but that sounds pretty convenient.

You know the next scene from the books: Clary ends up in the water and loses her stele, and Jace has to rescue her. Also, Jace himself left his stele in New York, since they kind of improvised this. What's different from the books, is that Jace has no idea of Lake Lyn's hallucinogenic properties, so when Clary starts tripping and goes off on her own, he has no idea what's going on and he loses her pretty fast.

Luckily, the Portal…broke into shards after they took it? Don't question it, it's just a way for Alec and Isabelle to find out where Jace and Clary are after Alec senses through the parabatai bond that something happened to Jace. Robert sees it too, and he knows about Lake Lyn's effects, down to and including that Clary will lose her mind completely if she's not cured soon with an iratze rune. You know, the healing ones. I can't remember if the show ever actually established that; it feels like at some point they just started throwing the term around and expecting the audience to know what it means.

Anyway, this does create some tension, so while it's a little contrived, I mostly approve of this change. See, now Robert has to get a Portal authorized for Isabelle to go after Clary and Jace and heal them (well, heal Clary, but they don't know for sure who's affected) before it's too late. And since Jace and Clary don't have a stele, they can't just do it on their own. By the way, Alec's stuck at the Institute because, you know, leadership stuff.

The fact that Robert's the one who has the information…sure, why not, he's older and important and stuff. It also gives me a nice opportunity to remind people that I did end up writing that fanfiction of him and Michael Wayland getting it on while high off the Lake Lyn's waters, based on Tales from Shadowhunter Academy. I'm not linking it in this post, because come on, this is a classy blog. But it exists. And is probably not that hard to find. ~~Or you can always just drop by my ask box, if you're really interested.~~

But back to the plot. Clary sees Ithuriel, who looks much younger now that he's recovered from being Valentine's prisoner. He tells her that Jonathan's still alive, and gives her some cryptic advice before leaving, so you know he's not a hallucination. Unfortunately, Clary assumes he's talking about Jace, so that's lost on her. For now.

Isabelle arrives to Lake Lyn, and finds Jace first. He didn't drink any of the lake's waters, so he's fine, but as I mentioned, he lost Clary, and she's not. They find her quickly enough, but she's delirious to the point where she doesn't recognize them and starts fighting them. And she can take them two on one, because…hallucinations make you stronger? Yeah, I doubt it.

Clary breaks Isabelle's stele in the struggle, so she can't be healed. Oh no, whatever shall they do? Oh yeah, Jace still has his angel power to activate runes without a stele, so she's fine. Crisis averted.

They set out for Valentine's cottage, where Jonathan's in the process of opening a portal to Edom to send Valentine there. During the ritual, however, Valentine manages to grab the Soul-Sword. While Clary permanently disabled its Downworlder-killing abilities, it still forces Shadowhunters to speak the truth, and he tells Jonathan that he realizes he was wrong to send him to hell, and he's the ultimate warrior that Valentine was looking to create after all.

"You have always been my greatest creation, son. Always!"

This sways Jonathan, who changes his mind, and they leave the cottage together right on time for Clary, Jace and Isabelle to find the cottage empty, but with traces of their recent presence.

"We're too late."

No shit.

So they head back, taking Valentine's journals with them.

But our heroes' troubles are not over! As I mentioned, Jonathan has the Soul-Sword, which no one was aware of until now. Well, no one except Robert, and that's how he saved Alec's position as head of the New York Institute, which he reveals to Alec because…long story short, Max found his blackmail messages to Imogen, and Robert blew up at him over it, which Isabelle found out and told Alec about. This is just setup for the next episode, which is why I saved it for the end of the review. Specifically:

"Are you gonna tell Magnus?"

Gee, it's Shadowhunters. Honesty and open communication happen approximately once every blue moon. I wonder.

Meanwhile, while studying the journals, Jace finds out that Valentine was recording his experiments with him and Jonathan. And for some reason, even though he was studying them, Clary's the one who points out that these experiments all happen long after Jonathan supposedly die as a baby.

"He was talking about my brother. He's still alive."

Well, good. Now are we moving past the impostor Sebastian plot line? Find out next time, because right now, Valentine and Sebastian just have a lovely, evil family dinner.

[eos-lies-to-you]

Nothing to add, I just think thsi is hilarious and true.

the Star Wars fandom makes a lot of jokes about Din Djarin not knowing anything about Star Wars and dating Mr. Star Wars himself. And while that is true and very funny, I would like to point out that Mr. Star Wars doesn’t know anything about Star Wars either