#He apologized taken steve out in a great first day and fucking him with love.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

avenger!reader who suffers from depression and is really hard on herself/themself and blames themself after a mission went wrong and locks themselves out, bucky is worried abt them and comforts them

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count:3102 (wow I went off the rails a bit huh 😅)

Warnings: self-blame, mentions of death, nightmares, panic attacks, breakdown, lots of tears, this one’s really angsty, flashbacks, some fluff/comfort but so much angst

A/N: I loved this request and had a great time writing it. This one’s a lil more angsty than I usually do and deals with some heavier themes than some of my other ones, so please take care of yourself and heed the warnings. I love you guys so much!

There was nothing you could have done.

You were the first off the quinjet, anxious to get out of the unbearable silence.

You kept your head down as you walked quickly to your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, stumbling to get into your room as fast as possible, locking the door behind you as you let the tears fall.

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stave off your breakdown as you tried to keep taking even breaths.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you said in a small voice.

“Yes?” the AI responded.

You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice even. “Turn on soundproofing, please.”

“As you wish. I am picking up on signs of distress, would you like me to call Sergeant Barnes?”

You shook your head violently at the thought of anyone, especially your boyfriend seeing you like this. “No.”

“Are you sure? Would you like me to call -”

“Don’t let anyone in this room.”

“As you wish, Y/n.”

You heard a noise indicating that the room had been soundproofed.

And you lost it.

You brought a hand to your face and sank back against the wall, shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You pushed yourself back against the wall, trying to ground yourself. Your mind flashed back to the mission you had just returned from and you let out an agonizing scream.

You’ll never forget the looks on their faces.

“Y/n, come on we have to go!”

“Wait - no I almost have them!”

“Help us - please - no don’t go!”

Blood curdling screams that didn’t belong to you, followed by your own.

A building had collapsed on an innocent family in the aftermath of the fight. You tried to get them out, but you were too late, Steve pulling you away at the last second before you were taken out too.

You were so angry, you had been so close - if you had seen them sooner, if you had just a few more seconds, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.

The last thing that they saw was their only hope being pulled away from them before being suffocated.

You were the last thing they saw, you had promised to get them out.

And you had lied to them.

The last thing they felt was hope that they’d see another day. No - the last thing they felt was betrayal and fear when they realized that one of the world’s greatest heroes couldn’t be their hero too.

The moments that had followed were a blur, your eyes frozen on where their eyes had been, shock coursing through your veins. You had seen someone die before but...not like that. Not when you could’ve maybe saved them.

The shock quickly bubbled into anger as you turned to Steve.

“Why the FUCK would you do that? I could’ve saved them!”

“You would’ve died Y/n!”

“If you hadn’t been distracting me then maybe I would’ve gotten them out in time!”

You had angry tears in your eyes, hitting Steve’s chest and doing exactly nothing to his broad form while he tried to console you.

“Get the fuck away from me! I could’ve saved them, this is YOUR fault.”

The ride back was silent. No one dared to talk to you about what had happened. You felt bad after a while but you couldn’t apologize without completely crumbling. If you opened your mouth you were certain that sobs would come rather than words.

You did feel horrible for what you said, because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t Steve’s fault.

It was yours.

So you waited until you returned to the privacy of your room, screaming bloody murder over the guilt you felt. Replaying what had happened, telling yourself everywhere you had gone wrong, every hesitation that could’ve given you an extra few seconds.

You felt like you’d never stop seeing their eyes, paralyzed by fear.

You were the last thing they saw, and now you would remember their last moment for the rest of yours.

You couldn’t imagine the amount of pain and fear they had felt when they realized they weren’t getting out of the rubble alive. That they would die as a part of a warzone they didn’t intend to be a part of. The feeling of hope draining from their bodies, blood running cold as they realized they had mere seconds left.

“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, body curling in on itself as you drew your knees in and wrapped your arms around your torso, sick to your stomach.

This was your fault, and you would never forget it.

---

The rest of the team had sighed as they watched you get off the quinjet, walking a bit too fast to be alright. They shared concerned looks with each other, watching your form disappear into the compound.

You weren’t okay, but after what had happened when Steve tried to approach you, they thought it best to give you some space.

The rest of them entered the compound, going their separate ways as Steve sat to down and ran a hand down his face, trying to get his mind off of what had happened. He was shaken up too, but he couldn’t lose you like that. You would die protecting strangers, and while he thought that was noble, he wondered when there wouldn’t be someone to pull you out in time.

Bucky had come down to check on you, knowing that the team had gotten back from a mission. But before he could knock on the door, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. “Sergeant Barnes, Y/n has requested that she not be disturbed.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, both in concern and confusion. Usually when a mission hit you hard, you would talk to him about what had happened. So either you were just tired, or this was worse than it had ever been.

He clenched his jaw and stood there for another few moments before he walked away, heading towards anyone who may be able to tell him what happened on the mission.

He came into the common room, seeing Steve doing a mission report. Well - the mission report was in front of him and he was staring blankly at it.

“Steve?” Bucky said softly, trying not to startle him.

Steve didn’t look up.

“Steve,” Bucky said a little louder.

Steve looked up from the papers, shaking his head slightly. “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, taking in Steve’s tired appearance and how his mind seemed elsewhere.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Steve said, barely looking at Bucky.

“You know, I’ve taken care of enough black eyes from mister back-alley hero to know when you’re not really fine.” Bucky said with a small smirk.

Steve’s eyes flicked up to Bucky’s as he sighed. “It’s not me you should be worried about,” he muttered.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

Steve recounted the mission to his friend, Bucky getting increasingly concerned about you. He knew you had a tendency to blame yourself for different things, and he knew what blaming yourself for someone’s death was like, even if you couldn’t control the situation.

Bucky was brainwashed. You were too late. Two different things, but the survivor's guilt was excruciating.

“Is she okay?” Bucky asked nervously.

“She didn’t get hurt, if that’s what you mean,” Steve started, “but she seemed pretty shaken up. You haven’t talked to her?”

“She doesn’t want to be bothered,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded. “Just give her some time,” he said, worriedly.

Bucky nodded, though unconvinced. He bottled up his emotions until the two of you met. Ever since the two of you never kept anything from each other. And he knew that seeing someone die and feeling at fault for it could destroy you. He wasn’t sure if time and space was what you needed.

But it was what you wanted right now. So he wouldn’t get in the way.

----

Back in your room you were curled in a ball on the floor, sobs wracking your body as you lost all sense of time and space and all you knew was it hurt and if you closed your eyes they were right there and you couldn’t do anything about it. You had a hand pressed to your chest as you tried to breathe but eventually gave way to a new surge of agony when your mind went back to how people died and you couldn’t help them.

You tried to calm down but then your mind would remind you that they had a family and they would never see them again and it was your fault.

“Stop, please just stop,” you put your hands over your ears as you tugged slightly on your hair.

They died terrified.

“Please make it stop,” you sobbed.

You were supposed to help them and you failed.

“No, God, please stop…”

They died because of you

----

You had fallen asleep on the floor at some point, when, you weren’t sure, but you woke up to your own screams. You were drenched in a cold sweat, dried tears on your face and chest heaving as you tried to breathe. You brought your hands to your mouth when you realized it was just a dream, sobbing once again.

You didn’t know why these people’s death was hitting you harder than any other death you had seen. This wasn’t the first time you had seen people die - far from it. You’d killed your fair share of agents without a hint at remorse. Because they deserved it.

You’d seen buildings burn down, fall apart, innocent people die - but you’d never felt as responsible as you did this time. Because they were right there. And you were so close.

But they still died and you saw their last moments. And you were theirs.

And it was destroying you.

----

You didn’t leave your room the following day. Or the day after that.

Needless to say, the team was extremely worried about you. Especially Bucky.

He knew what survivor’s guilt could do to a person, and he knew being alone with your thoughts wasn’t helping. He also knew that pushing the topic could do much more harm than good, causing you to retreat further into yourself.

He tried texting you, wanting to let you know that he was there for you, that he was worried about you, and that he loved you.

None of them went though because your phone was off, you having not even looked at it since coming back from the mission.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still telling everyone that you did not want to be disturbed, as you had requested. Obviously Tony had the power to override the locks, but again, no one wanted to push you.

When it had been 3 days since you had seen any sunlight, Bucky had had enough. He knew you couldn’t be taking proper care of yourself and he couldn’t let you do that to yourself. He had Tony override your locks and he came to your door, knocking gently.

“Y/n?”

Silence.

He knocked again, a little louder. “Y/n? I’m coming in, alright?”

Silence.

Bucky took a deep breath before he opened your door slowly, peeking his head in. it was the middle of the afternoon and your room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway and from the cracks between the shades, which were drawn shut.

Bucky let himself in and turned on a lamp, shutting the door behind him. He looked at you with worried eyes as he took in your appearance.

You were pressed up against the headboard of your bed, knees drawn to your chest as you stared blankly, your eyes fixated on your bedsheets. Your eyes were red, face blotchy, your hair was a mess and you were still wearing your uniform from the mission.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you said quietly, voice raspy from yelling these past few days.

“Y/n -”

“Get out,” you said quietly, though not angrily.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, y/n.”

“Please,” you said, cursing yourself as your voice cracked. You didn’t want to breakdown in front of Bucky.

“It’s not your fault, y/n.”

You pushed yourself off of the bed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing this right now, Bucky.”

“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point, y/n.”

“Not if I can help it.”

“This kind of thing isn’t going to go away, okay? Time heals but not by itself.” You weren’t listening as you ran a hand over your face, overwhelmed.

“Please, talk to me y/n. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I’m fine.”

“This isn’t fine. Not taking care of yourself and living in the dark staring at the wall isn’t fine, y/n. Please, don’t hide from me. It’s just me, y/n.”

You shook your head, eyes glazed over like glass. “I could’ve saved them.” you said simply.

“Y/n, there was nothing -”

“BULLSHIT!” You yelled. “There had to have been something I could do, if I had gotten there earlier or - or if I had moved faster or been stronger then I could’ve gotten them out! It’s my fault they’re dead okay? I couldn’t save them and that’s my fault!”

Bucky walked over to you slowly, asking you to look at him. “It isn’t your fault, y/n. The building collapsed, no one could’ve gotten them out.”

“I could have saved them.” you said again, tears falling down your face. “I could have gotten them out. I was the last thing they saw and you know what I was doing? Being carried away like some coward. They died afraid because a superhero couldn’t save them. And that’s on me.”

Bucky shook his head slightly. “You can’t save everyone, y/n.”

“So what, am I supposed to choose? I’m supposed to choose whether I save people or move on because they aren’t part of the mission? Am I supposed to let them die?” you asked incredulously.

“You can’t risk your own life like that, y/n.”

“What? And pretend like my life is any more important than theirs?!” you exclaimed.

“Y/n -”

“No, why do I have the right to walk away from people because I’m afraid of getting hurt when they’re about to die? What gives me that right?”

“Because I can’t lose you!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, those people matter, but goddamn it y/n, you have helped so many people and you will keep saving so many people, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. We help who we can and mourn the rest. It’s not your fault that those people died. There was nothing that you could have done.”

“But if I had a few more seconds -”

“The building still would have fallen and you’d be asking yourself for a few more seconds. There is nothing you or anyone else could’ve done.”

You stayed silent, more tears falling from your eyes. Bucky pulled you in for a hug as your shoulders started to shake with more sobs. “I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it’s not your fault.”

“I can’t stop seeing the look they had on their faces,” you shook your head. “Everytime I try to sleep I see them and I can’t make it go away. And I want to forget but I don’t deserve to and it hurts but I don’t deserve to forget.”

“I know, I know,” Bucky said, knowing all too well what being haunted by the fear on someone’s face was like. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t let them die, y/n. You would’ve given anything to save them, if Steve hadn’t pulled you away you would’ve died with them. You didn’t run away even though you knew you would die if you stayed. You do know that right?”

“I don’t care.”

“I don’t think you mean that,” Bucky said softly. You felt new tears fall from your eyes as you hid your face into Bucky’s chest.

“You can’t tell me that nothing could be done. You can’t tell me that innocent people were going to die and that’s the way it has to be. That isn’t fair,” you spoke through your tears.

Bucky pulled back to wipe the tears from your face and look you in the eyes. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you did everything in your power to save them. It’s not your fault that you got there too late. Those HYDRA agents who destroyed the city - it’s their fault. Not yours.”

“I’m supposed to protect people,” you said as you shrugged and shook your head slightly. “If I can’t do that then what am I?”

“A person who is trying their best. You don’t always have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, that’s too much to expect of anyone. It’s not your responsibility to save everyone because you can’t. But you’ve saved so many people that would’ve died if you weren’t there. You are so important, but you have to stay alive to help more people.”

You took a shaky breath. “Those people were going to die no matter what,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Bucky. Your chest tightened again and you felt sick. “Oh my God,” you said, the acceptance of the fact brought on a new wave of emotions as your knees felt weak.

Bucky pulled you back into his chest again, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “It’s not your fault, y/n.”

“Then why does it hurt so much?” you sobbed against his chest.

“Because you have a good heart.”

You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want one if it means it’s going to hurt this much.”

“It’s okay, y/n. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”

“Please make it stop. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”

Bucky felt tears sting his own eyes at your pain, holding you tighter against him. He cleared his throat before saying “I can’t make it go away. But I’m here to hold you and do everything I can to make it better. I’m not going anywhere y/n.”

He held you against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

--------

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[lokisprettygirl]

hi sorry, thought this be a better place to rant about TB because evidently the length of said rant doesnt accommodate the number of character available in the comments. anyway, sorry if this is rather lengthy and if this is ever a bother

nooo wtf. first of all, lokis back story in cairo, wtf sameera or whatever her name was. he was beaten to a pulp, darling im so sorry. Things like that make me want to be there and be the one to comfort and nurse him back to full health and it just brakes my heart that he was beaten up in the first place. That bitch didnt deserve him at all, im so sorry darling that you had to fall for that wretched girl only to be left broken and beaten, im so so sorry darling.

second of all, i understand why he's trying to sever the intimate and sacred contact they shared because, one he doesnt want to get hurt again, two he feels guilty that that bloody bastard steve laid a hand on her and hurt and left a mark on her and he wasnt there to help and save her, three he knows he has to give her up when she get married to steve and he cant be there to save her from the torture she going to endure from him and four he's afraid of the capability and power steve and her father have of hurting or killing him like with what happened with whats her name and the fact that she might do the same thing she did

third of all, I understand y/n as well. shes trusted him and he broke whatever that was they had and it hurt her. it made her think and believe in the things those horrible people said to her. Its also making her think that she like poison, that if she gets involved with someone else they'll leave her or they'll get hurt or taken away from her or they'll use her for their own evil scheme. (honestly this might be a terrible metaphor)

Honestly the internal conflict i have with myself will cause my untimely death, Im always like this, I understand or at least try to see both sides and this is great example of it

and lastly four, erik stevens sounded rather familiar to me and i looked it up and it turns out its actually killmonger (sorry i always call him that and might have forgotten his actual name)

Now wtf (it appears i have said this way to much i apologize) now their separated and they thought they still had that time even though they arent "friends" anymore, it still hurts them that their separated ( i dont think this paragraph makes sense sorry) Now lokis appointed to who im assuming is bitchannah or something (honestly i really dont care for the name of the characters that annoy me)

And steve you conniving asshole, thats it hes a bloody fucking bastards asshole. Honestly, everyone but y/n and loki is a narcissistic, self centered asshole that dont give a bloody fuck about anyone but themselves. (then i remembered her mother and that lady from the shelter, their good)

wow im sorry for the length and if this ever bothers you, im simply ranting of how i perceive these characters and this is a testament to your brilliant writing. You are a brilliant brilliant writer and dont let anyone think else, (even me if i ever do or did, which i hope not, if i ever did it wasnt my intention). The complexity in the stories that you muster up to conjure in your head is already brilliant but to share it to the world and to us or me personally is a privilege so thank you

again im sorry for the length of this and wish you a good day darling and hope you get better soon. sending all the love 😊❤️💜💙💚💛😊

Never apologise for a long comment or ran or feedback as I like to call it. Trust me your comments are everything that keeps me going and makes me want to update faster. 😘😘💚

Yeah Sameera really fucked him up badly, he is broken too, just in a different way and they both need to love each other to fix each other. It's just a perfect fit, he's the safe harbor she wants and she's the validation he needs. But their attraction for each other isn't limited to what they need from each other , they both want to protect each other selflessly and that says alot

And yes the new bodyguard is in

I just wanted to finally bring a side character I really like but never have written before

Whether he'd be a friend or foe? We will see 👀👀

You're making me cry with the last paragraph, lately I have been feeling even worse about my writing for some reason but this made me feel so validated. I try to give my characters a solid foundation and I'm just super happy that you feel so invested in them. Thank you for this ask my dear 😍💚

I'm sending all the love too 💓💓

[iam93percentstardust]

hey alle, so for the prompts i'd love some cute and funny winteriron with bucky wanting to impress tony with his cooking, but tony being a very picky eater. which leads to a lot of frustration on bucky's side, and obliviousness on what is even going on from tony's. if you feel like it. thank you! <3

Here it is! The long-awaited His Girl FRIDAY remix! I hope you love this as much as I do!

As always, everything I write is on ao3 too

~

The first time Bucky left food in Tony’s workshop and come back to find it untouched, he’d figured it was a fluke. Tony had probably been caught up in a zone—like Steve had warned him about when Bucky had decided he was going to woo Tony with food—and hadn’t noticed the food was even there.

The second time, he made sure to catch Tony’s attention as he was dropping off the plate—lasagna because Natalia had said Tony’s mother was Italian and Bucky made a pretty decent lasagna if he did say so. Tony had glanced at him and then at the plate before turning away with a slightly bewildered frown. Bucky had taken the frown to mean that no one else had ever bothered before to take care of Tony, which was a fact that had just about broken his heart, and left the plate there. He’d gone back later that night to find the lasagna untouched. That had been a little harder to explain away, but he’d eventually decided that maybe Tony was one of those food snobs who only liked Italian food made by actual Italians.

The third time he made oatmeal with a little bit of honey and cream, perfect for someone with as much of a sweet tooth as Tony had, and brought it into the workshop for Tony, who had spent the entire night working on new arrows for Clint.

“Tony?” he called softly, not wanting to startle him. Tony was uncomfortable enough with all the new people moving into the tower after everything with SHIELD and Hydra; being Hydra’s pet assassin, he didn’t want to make it worse by sneaking up on him. “I brought you some breakfast.”

Tony popped up from underneath a table, visibly brightening. “Oh good,” he said cheerfully, making grabby hands at the bowl. “I was just starting to get hungry.” His hair was mussed, two perfect rings of black smeared around his eyes, likely where the goggles currently perched on top of his head had been resting earlier.

Bucky smiled at the adorable display and held out the bowl. Tony eagerly grabbed it, only to blink at it as soon as he saw what was in it.

“Oatmeal?” he asked delicately.

“I thought you’d appreciate having something a little more delicate after not eating for a while,” Bucky explained.

“…Oh.” After another awkward moment, Tony said carefully, “Thanks.”

Satisfied, Bucky left him to his work. This time—this time—Tony would eat it all and then he’d see what an amazing cook Bucky was and how he would absolutely be able to provide for Tony and then he’d swoon into Bucky’s arms and demand that Bucky take him right there.

Okay maybe not right there—the workshop didn’t seem like the best location for amorous activities—but that was why they called it a fantasy, right?

Too bad Tony punctured that fantasy like a balloon.

Bucky went back downstairs long to pick up the bowl after Tony had come up to the common areas, yawning widely and telling everyone he was heading to bed for the next twenty-four hours so don’t bother him unless New York was on fire. It had been a bit of a disappointment that he’d just nodded at Bucky without saying anything about the breakfast or about his everlasting feelings for him, but not nearly as much of a disappointment to walk into the workshop to find the bowl as untouched as all the other meals he’d so painstakingly prepared.

~

“I don’t get it,” he whined to Sam later that day. “I’m a good cook.”

Sam gave him an unimpressed look. “Are you sure? It’s been, what, seventy years since the last time you made anything. Maybe you’re not as good as you used to be.”

Bucky gasped dramatically. “You take that back!”

“No. You promised me you’d offer dating advice with Natasha and instead you’re sitting here mooning over Tony’s ass again so I’ll say whatever I like about your cooking.”

“Sorry,” he muttered guiltily. Sam was right. He had promised that. Or, rather, Steve had promised advice and Bucky had taken one look at him still pining over Peggy and feeling weird about his current interest being Peggy’s niece (a valid way to feel) and declared him hopeless before telling Sam that he would help him out instead. After all, he remembered Natalia from the years she’d spent training with him during her childhood. Who else would be more qualified to teach Sam how to woo her? Well, besides Clint obviously, but he was taking some personal time away from the team.

“She likes the ballet,” he said. “She wanted to be a ballerina when she was younger, said they were as graceful as any Widow only they didn’t have to kill.”

“And you’re sure that won’t just make her sad?” Sam asked dubiously.

Bucky glared at him. “I might not like you very much—” Sam rolled his eyes—"But I like Natalia a whole lot. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. Take her to the ballet and take Steve and Sharon while you’re at it. A double date will help her feel less trapped and maybe Steve will stop moping and ask Sharon out.”

“It’s a little weird, you know.”

“Sure, but he kissed Peggy once and it’s not like he’s ever gonna go back to the war and live out the rest of his time there, so he might as well move on.”

Sam laughed. “Guess that’s true.” He sighed, smile fading away. “I don’t know why Tony’s ignoring your meals. Sorry about that though. It sucks.”

“If I may,” JARVIS cut in. Both of them jumped, though Bucky would deny to his dying day that he yelped. Sam, on the other hand, shrieked like a kid and Bucky reminded himself to go back and access the audio footage so he would have blackmail.

“Sorry, JARVIS,” he apologized. “Keep forgetting you’re up there. Didn’t exactly have AI back during the war.”

“Or even in other houses,” Sam added.

“My apologies,” JARVIS said, and he’ll be damned if JARVIS didn’t sound extremely apologetic. It was incredible, really, how much life Tony imbued in his creations. “I only wanted to offer my advice about Sergeant Barnes’ attempts at wooing Sir.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked. “Go right ahead. Can’t be any worse than any of the other advice I’ve gotten.” Seriously, Clint had even suggested truth serum, like that wasn’t the worst idea ever suggested.

“Sir is an extremely picky eater,” JARVIS explained. “He does not enjoy cooked tomatoes, ricotta cheese, or the texture of oatmeal.”

…All of which had been in at least one of the meals he’d prepared for Tony.

“Fuck.”

JARVIS wryly said, “Indeed.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“You requested that I remain inactive on your floor while you were recovering. But you’re in Sergeant Wilson’s quarters at the moment so I may share my expertise.”

He had said that, hadn’t he? It had been in the early days when he was still having trouble remembering what he’d said moments earlier, but he had a vague recollection of being overwhelmed by the idea of constant monitoring and asking if JARVIS could be turned off.

“Wow, way to go, Barnes,” Sam commented, hiding a grin behind his hand.

“Fuck,” he said again, more emphatically. “Best tool at my disposal and I’m not even using it. JARVIS, I bet you could tell me all sorts of things about Tony.”

He got the impression that if the AI could sniff, he would have. “I would not dare to air Sir’s ‘dirty laundry’ so to speak.”

“No, no,” Bucky said, waving his metal hand. The hand made a concerning grinding sound and he frowned. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d probably need to ask someone to take a look at it. Sam was capable of performing basic maintenance, and Bucky trusted him not to sabotage the arm, but anything worse and he’d have to go ask Tony about it.

“Not what I meant,” he continued. “Just that you could tell me what Tony likes and doesn’t like. Uh, how do I turn you back on in my floor?”

“Your request is sufficient,” JARVIS said.

“Great. I’ll meet you up there in a bit. We’re gonna make something so incredible Tony will have to fall in love with me.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Sam said, kicking his feet up onto the newly vacated spot on the couch now that Bucky was standing. “I’m going to see if I can find reasonably priced tickets to the ballet.”

Bucky blinked. “I think you’re gonna have worse luck than me.”

Sam threw a shoe at him.

~

On JARVIS’ advice, he baked blueberry muffins because those were apparently Tony’s favorite fruit. Bucky didn’t really understand it. Frankly, he thought blueberries were almost as bad as bananas—nasty, taste-changing fruit that they were—but if Tony loved them, then he would be willing to have them in his kitchen for as long as it took to bake the muffins. Fortunately, he was just as good a baker as he was a cook, so it was a breeze to whip up a delicious batch that had him grateful he couldn’t get salmonella from the mix.

Unfortunately, Tony hated the muffins. Or that’s what Bucky gathered when he went to pick the plate up, hoping that it would be empty for the first time, and found it just as untouched as everything else had been.

“What the fuck, JARVIS?” he complained. “You said he liked blueberries.”

“I don’t know, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS said, sounding as baffled as Bucky felt. “Sir has always appreciated them.”

That, Bucky reflected later that night, was possibly to be expected. For all that JARVIS had the inhuman ability to remember literally everything he’d ever seen or heard, he was still just a program. He couldn’t necessarily extrapolate about preferences or tastes. For all either of them knew, Tony did like blueberries but didn’t like muffins or something. It didn’t really explain why JARVIS knew that Tony didn’t like cooked tomatoes, but maybe that could be explained by Tony mentioning it out loud and the other stuff, JARVIS had had to figure out on his own.

He sat up in bed, thinking about it. Maybe that was it: Tony didn’t like muffins. But there had to be other recipes out there that used blueberries that Tony would like. In fact, he was pretty sure he’d come across a blueberry cupcake with brown butter frosting recipe earlier that day. And Bucky didn’t know anyone who could say no to his brown butter. He was incredible at it, and that was being modest. Just the other day, Thor had declared the brown butter sauce he’d made for their chicken to be worthy of an Asgardian feast. Thor was a god. He probably knew things like that.

“JARVIS, you up?” he asked into the dark room.

“Always, Sergeant Barnes.”

“You don’t gotta keep callin’ me that. Bucky’s my name. I’d rather answer to that.”

“Very well, Bucky.”

“Could you pull up some other recipes with blueberries in the flavor profile please? Filter out anything that has something Tony doesn’t like and recipes similar enough to each other that they could be repeats, uh, let’s say anything with a higher than 85% similarity.”

When JARVIS was finished compiling his list, there was a lot less than what Bucky had hoped for, but it was still something he could work with. He looked through the list: cupcakes, pancakes, cookies, more than a few salads, something called a Panzanella. He starred the ones he thought would catch Tony’s interest the most, putting the others aside to possibly try later down the road. Content with his plan, he laid back down, falling asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.

~

None of it worked. Despite his supposed love for blueberries, Tony continued to turn away everything Bucky made for him. So he branched out, trying other foods that JARVIS said Tony was fond of. Nothing came back with more than a couple bites taken out of it and Tony had taken to giving him worried looks every time he appeared at the workshop door with another plate. Bucky was starting to lose hope that he was ever going to woo Tony with food and that was… not great.

Traditional dates were pretty close to impossible. Despite his rapid recovery in the tower, going outside was still too frightening with the crowds of New York, the inability to pick out threats around him, and the lack of sightlines all driving Bucky back inside and to the highest floors of the tower where he could look out over everything.

And as for anything else, well, Bucky was an ex-brainwashed assassin with no money to his name and only half the social skills he used to have (Sam said he had more than he thought but arguing with Sam wasn’t like trying to get someone to like him). He didn’t have much else to offer other than making food and giving Tony a project to work on. The first wasn’t going well and the second made Bucky feel too much like he was taking advantage of Tony to use more than once or twice.

Disheartened, he made his way up to Natalia’s floor to ask her for advice. She and Tony got along almost as well as she got along with Clint. Maybe she would have insights that JARVIS wasn’t able to offer. As he neared her room, though, he realized that she wasn’t alone.

“—to kill me,” someone—Tony, Bucky realized almost immediately—was saying. He stiffened. Who was trying to kill Tony? Bucky would kill them first! Was murder a good way to woo Tony?

“котенок,” Natalia said patiently, “he’s not trying to kill you.”

“You don’t know that!” Tony exclaimed wildly. He sounded like he was pacing. “He could be! He keeps bringing me things everyone knows I won’t eat.”

And now Natalia sounded amused as she said, “Antoshka, I don’t think he’d be trying to feed you if he wanted to kill you. It’s more likely an honest mistake.”

“It could be poison.”

“It’s not poison.”

“You don’t know that. You haven’t tried any of it.”

“It’s not poison because that’s more my style than it is James’.”

Oh, they were talking about him. Tony thought Bucky was trying to kill him. “Fuck,” he said mournfully, leaning up against the wall. No wonder Tony wouldn’t touch any of the food he made for him.

“Well, I don’t see why else he’s bringing me food!” Tony said.

“Really? Not a single reason?”

“It’s food I won’t eat! He clearly doesn’t like me or he’d be bringing me actual food I like.”

“Does he know why you won’t eat it?”

“No, but why does that matter?”

“Tony, darling, have you ever once informed him that you have a sensory processing disorder and you won’t eat a lot of cooked foods because you can’t handle the texture?”

Bucky straightened back up. Tony has a what? He’d never even heard of that before. Why didn’t JARVIS say something? He thought back to when he’d been building the list of blueberry foods and how he’d wondered if JARVIS didn’t necessarily know about the pattern for Tony’s likes and dislikes in his food. Maybe JARVIS hadn’t known about Tony’s disorder, so he hadn’t known to tell Bucky about it. That made the most amount of sense to him though he couldn’t imagine why Tony had never told his AI about his disorder.

“Why would I tell him that?” Tony asks, sounding confused.

He could just picture Natalia shaking her head as she said, “Oh, Antoshka.”

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Armed with his new knowledge, Bucky crept away from the door, already planning out new meals to bring to Tony.

~

That very night, he went downstairs with a bowl of salad. It had nuts to provide a small amount of protein, though he’d also put some baked chicken in a Tupperware as well, in case that was something Tony could eat. Tony’s music was playing at a manageable volume by the time he got to the workshop, likely because he was drafting plans for some sort of irrigation system, rather than any sort of consideration for Bucky.

Tony caught sight of him before he got the doors open. Bucky watched as his face fell for a moment before he plastered on a bright, fake smile. Hydra’s programming was still too ingrained in him to do anything as obvious as wince, but he still felt a twinge of shame. Why hadn’t he thought to ask Tony what he would like to eat instead of relying on his own preferences?

“Uh,” he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. In his other hand, he held up the Tupperware with the salad bowl on top of it. “I brought you some dinner. It’s just a salad, but I included some baked chicken on the side if you want that. I hope it’s something you like.”

Tony blinked at him. “What?”

“I—okay, I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I overheard you and Natalia earlier. I didn’t know you couldn’t eat anything I was making for you. I wasn’t trying to poison you or anything, just thought you might like some food since you’re down here all the time. Sorry for, you know, eavesdropping and making you think I didn’t like you.”

A cautious smile spread across Tony’s face. “You could have asked JARVIS,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I did, but I guess he didn’t know you don’t like cooked foods.”

“What?” Tony cocked his head to the side. “No, he should know that.” He spun around in his chair, waving the glowing blue drafts of the irrigation system aside in favor of pulling up JARVIS’ bright golden code. It was a beautiful display, and Bucky found himself moving closer, mesmerized by the sight. He had no idea JARVIS’ code was so complex.

“J, buddy, what happened to your code?” Tony murmured. He reached out a hand, groping for Bucky’s shirt to tug him closer. “Gimme food.”

“So you like salad?” Bucky asked, relieved that he’d finally found something.

“And baked chicken,” Tony added. “But it has to be baked. Otherwise, the texture’s too rubbery for me.”

“I can do that,” he promised. “Do you like breading or marinade with the baked chicken?”

“Marinade, yes. Breading, no.”

“Okay. I’ll remember that.”

Tony paused in tearing through JARVIS’ code to give him a small, genuine smile that made Bucky’s heart light up. He returned the smile, which grew bigger when Tony’s gaze darted down to his lips, snagging there as though caught by the sight. He knew he had a nice mouth; he’d been told that plenty of times back in the forties.

“I have another confession to make,” he said once Tony’s attention returned to the code.

“Uh-huh,” Tony said distractedly.

“I was—”

“There you are!” Tony exclaimed. “J, who made those changes to lines 894 through 1036 in your code?”

JARVIS immediately said, “The last time those lines were accessed was in 2008 by Obadiah Stane.”

Tony’s face fell. “Oh.”

It took Bucky a moment remember who Obadiah Stane was. He’d appeared in one of Bucky’s mission files as the Winter Soldier. Back during the nineties, following Tony’s parents deaths, Tony had been planning on shutting down SI’s weapons manufacturing division. Hydra, who’d been buying black market weapons from Stane for years by that time, had ordered the Winter Soldier to assassinate Tony to give Stane complete control of the company. But before he’d been able to complete his mission, Stane had convinced Tony to see “reason” and Bucky had been put back in cryo. That unfulfilled mission had been one of the reasons he’d been so hesitant to move into the tower before his programming had been completely removed. Steve had tried to push for the move anyway, but before either of them could successfully argue the point, Tony had put out a call to the world’s top experts on brainwashing and three whirlwind weeks later, Bucky’s mind was programming-free. And just like that, without even meeting the guy, Bucky had developed a crush on one Tony Stark.

“Sorry, doll,” he said, dropping a hand to Tony’s shoulder and squeezing it gently.

Tony sighed frustratedly. “Every time I think I’ve taken care of everything Obie fucked up, I find something else he’s done. He was probably hoping I’d starve to death or something without anyone making food to my exacting specifications, that asshole.”

“He sounds pretty terrible,” Bucky agreed.

“J, are you able to access the last backup on those lines to restore them?” Tony asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, let’s get those fixed, and uh—”

“And we’ll go out for dinner,” Bucky interrupted.

“Huh?” Tony asked, turning to look at him.

“Seems I owe you an apology and I figure taking you out for dinner is a little nicer than a salad. ‘Sides, if I take you out, I’ll have a better understanding of what you like to eat.”

“Careful there, Buckaroo, or I’ll start thinking this is supposed to be a date.”

Bucky would probably never know what possessed him to firmly say, “Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.” He certainly hadn’t planned to. He really had been planning on their dinner being a way to figure out what Tony liked so he could make it himself and continue with his wooing process from there, hopefully slowly easing Tony into believing that Bucky really did like him and wasn’t trying to poison him.

“Sorry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”

Tony stared at him, then abruptly said, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“That this is supposed to be a date.”

He could deny it and go back to his original plan. He’d probably even be able to pull off a lie like that. But there was a hopeful look in Tony’s eyes that stopped him from denying anything.

“You didn’t even know that I liked you until five minutes ago,” he pointed out cautiously.

Tony scoffed. “What, like you’ve never liked someone who hated you.”

“Uh, no. I’ve never done that.”

“Really?”

“Never.”

“Huh.”

“Are you… are you saying that you do like me?” Bucky asked.

“Well, yeah. You never mind that half of my engineering babble goes over your head and you bring me food even if you didn’t know it wasn’t something I could eat and you’re really fucking gorgeous when you’ve showered and your hair isn’t falling in greasy clumps around your face.”

“Look who’s talking,” Bucky said amusedly, reaching out to run his fingers through Tony’s hair, matted down with machine oil. Even filthy, he could feel how soft it would be when it was clean. Tony leaned into his hand, humming happily.

“So is that a yes on this being a date, Bucky babe?” Tony asked. “Cause I’ll be honest, I’m not usually left hanging.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, nodding. “It’s a date.”

Tony grinned and turned his head just enough to kiss the inside of Bucky’s wrist, making Bucky shiver. “Let me get cleaned up.”

“You want me to join you?”

Tony winked at him. “Next time, honey.”

[tiedyemillenialbullshit]

Hope is a Heartache

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are a series of missed opportunities, but will that stop you both from being happy?

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, sexual situations, swearing, angst, LOTS of angst, fluff

A/N: I’m not sure when I became the kween of angst, but here we are. I think if I wrote smut, I’d die so maybe someday I’ll try that. For now here we are.

Written listening to: Hope is a Heartache by LEON

“How would I ever tell her that? What, that I think she’s the most stunning, hilarious, powerful, brave, most amazing woman I’ve ever met? She’d freak out, I’m like her best friend on the team, Steve.”

“I don’t know pal, but I can’t keep looking at you like this. Every time she walks by you stop breathing.”

Bucky never felt so sick to his stomach as he did when he thought about you and whatshisface. You had been on the team about as long as he had. You were both “freshmen” as Sam loved to joke, together. At first, you annoyed the shit out of him. Always going on about how he needed to try harder at this or move faster at that. Buck always confided in Steve about how much you pissed him off until finally one day Steve snapped. “DUDE. YOU. LOVE. Y/N. If you won’t admit it to me, at least admit it to yourself.”

Bucky remembers telling him exactly where he can shove it before stomping out of the Captain’s office to the gym. He had walked in on you taking some sort of frustration out on a punching bag. You didn’t hear him come in, so he stood in the shadow of the doorway and watched you. You stopped after a few moments to rip your gloves off, fix your ponytail, huff out a swear or four and decide to start punching again sans gloves.

Bucky knew in that instant he didn’t want a different partner on missions. He didn’t want you to want to go on morning runs with anyone else. He didn’t want to trust anyone else besides you.

You remember that day too. You were pissed at him, convinced he was trying to make you look bad because in Steve’s eyes, he could do no wrong. So who cares right? Oh you just wanted to hit him. That’s why you had elected to not place your boxing gloves back on and instead just rely on the tape wrapping your knuckles to not break your skin open.

You heard something behind you, and when you spun around you saw him watching you. At first, this wasn’t startling, the asshole had a serious staring problem, but he wasn’t mad. He was just watching you move. Nothing about his demeanor was menacing like it usually was. It was like Frosty had melted and standing before you was this man.

You decided then that you didn’t anyone else sparing with you in the gym, you didn’t want anyone else giving you a hard time because you couldn’t chug a beer as fast as Thor, and you didn’t want him to want anyone else as his partner.

It was like something clicked into place that day, a thread between the two of you pulled taught. You couldn’t place the feeling, you never had it before.

“Earth to Bucky. *white noise* Paging James Buchanan Barnes *white noise* Will the tin man please join us in this debriefing-“ Bucky finally recognized Sam was talking to him.

“Sorry, what?” Buck knew he was red in the face, but honestly didn’t care. Not after the sleepless night he had after witnessing you kiss your new boyfriend goodnight.

“We were discussing Wednesday’s mission, Bucky. You good?” Steve had a concerned look on his face for his best friend.

You were staring right back at Bucky as he sternly answered “I’m fine. Couldn’t sleep last night. Kept having a nightmare about some prick invading my space.”

The team exchanged glances, but that just confirmed to you that he did see you kiss Nick. You thought you heard someone shuffling inside quickly after giving your new boyfriend a lingering kiss goodnight. What was his fucking problem?

“I hate it when that happens. Maybe you should just try minding your own business in real life, then you wouldn’t have nightmares about it at night.” You shot back not breaking eye contact.

Bucky stood and left. The team knew better than to try and reason with a pissed off super soldier, so they let him leave the meeting early.

You practically ran out of the meeting as soon as it was concluded.

“What the fuck was that about?” Nat asked as she was following you uninvited into your room. Besides Bucky, she was your closest friend. Your closest friend, and your nosiest friend.

“Bucky saw me kissing Nick last night and took that as a signed permission slip to act like a fucking asshole, I don’t know. He never likes any of the guys I bring around. Honestly, that’s probably why they don’t last.” You really liked Nick, and you weren’t going to let Bucky scare this one off. Which would be a feat, seeing as your best friend was the former Winter Soldier.

“Y/N, do you think he ‘scares’ all of them off because he wishes he was them?” Nat looked at you without giving away too much of her thought process.

“What, like he wants to be my boyfriend? Come ON Nat, this is Bucky. It’s BUCKY. Even if he did have feelings for me, he’d never tell me. Because he’s BUCKY.” You weren’t sure why you were secretly hoping she argued with you about that. You always liked Bucky. But you were a professional, those feelings got pushed down a long, long time ago.

“I don’t know, Steve said-“

“OH. So now Bucky and I are the topic of your pillow talk, Nat? Great! Look, just because it worked out for you and Steve that way doesn’t mean it’ll work out for me and Buck like that.” You shot back.

“WOAH. I was going to say that Steve said he had been off lately, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you, Y/N.”

“Oh, well, I mean, I knew that. Whatever, okay?” You stumbled. “It’s not going to happen. I’m with Nick and I’m happy for once. Whatever his issue is, he can talk to his therapist about it, I’m done being that too.”

One year later

“Y/N. Hi. Uh, I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Bucky stammers to you as he’s holding the hand of some innocent enough looking blonde.

“You mean in my own kitchen? Funny how that works out. I was just leaving.” You say to him. The thought crosses your mind to introduce yourself to his new play-thing, but that will just make it seem so much more permanent. You hope your self-dismissal makes her feel awkward enough to leave but you know that won’t happen.

After the disaster that was your relationship with Nick ended after 9 months, you swore off men, including Bucky. He had eventually apologized for his behavior during that debriefing and things seemed to go back to normal. You now realize “normal” is just your funny way of saying “compartmentalizing.” Things were okay between you two because you never talked about Nick and he never asked.

After it ended between you two, he didn’t even ask. You chucked it up to him giving you your space. But that was a few months ago, and now you see why he wasn’t asking you about it.

“Night, Y/N.” Bucky calls after you.

“At least one of us seems like we’ll have a goodnight,” you yell back at him as you retreat into the hallway.

You think you hear him mumble something to his date and then you hear footsteps behind you, so you slow your pace a bit.

“What’s your fucking problem? Amanda doesn’t deserve your wrath the first time she comes over.” Bucky hush yells at you.

“The first time?! Buck, our rooms are right next to each other or did you forget that?” You actually yell at him.

“Oh trust me, how could I forget? With all the sex you had for 9 fucking months straight, the sound of you moaning is literally engrained into my mind forever and you KNOW how hard that is to do.” Bucky is screaming at you now.

“FUCK YOU JAMES.” You yell as you turn and walk towards the stairs.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT,” he screams.

Good. Now no sex for him.

You wait until you get to the stairwell to let loose the tears threatening to spill over. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning the fight. You two had fought so many times in your friendship. The other Avengers knew to just leave two be when you got into these kind of moods.

You and Nick didn’t work out for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one was your relationship with Bucky. He was so protective over you, and a few months ago when that stopped you realized you didn’t miss his protection, you missed how he looked at you. You missed the possibility that there was something there between the two of you. It was clear he had given up, and you hated that. He felt cold and distant. Shortly after that, Nick stopped coming around and you didn’t care.

Just as you sit down to let yourself unleash in between the second and third floors, you hear the first story doors open. You go completely quiet as to not want to alert anyone you were sitting on the stairs crying like a teenager experiencing their first heartbreak.

You think you hear whimpering or what could be shushed crying. You lean over the railing to look down at who it is. Sitting there with his head in his hands is Bucky. You don’t make a noise.

“Fucking collect yourself Barnes, she’s just being a bitch. Deal with her tomorrow.”

You didn’t realize you had that much of an impact on him, you only wanted to ruin his desire to have sex with her.

Satisfied and feeling slightly guilty, you walk back to your room for the night, not caring if he hears you.

Two months later

“Is this seat taken?” You turn to the side and look up to see Bucky looking down at you sheepishly.

“Where’s your hot date? I saved two seats for you and Amanda,” you say back to Bucky, genuinely interested in where his date was. After that awful night, you decided to put forth an effort to make things better with him. No one is kidding themselves that when you have personal stuff going on behind the scenes of work partners, it makes work in the field that much harder.

“Uh, she’s not going to make it,” he says with sad eyes.

“Oh, is she okay?”

“Uh yeah, we’re just not. We broke up this morning. Thanks for saving two seats though, that was nice of you Y/N.” Bucky sits down next to you and you wrap an arm around the back of his chair.

“I’m sorry Buck, I really did like her. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am now,” he looks at you with a slight smile to his face. You hold his gaze for a few seconds longer than normal before ruffling his hair as the DJ comes over the music.

“Ladiesssss and gentlemeeennnn please welcome to the stage…”

“I can’t believe Sam dragged us all to a strip club for his birthday,” you whisper in Bucky’s ear as the music gets louder.

“I know, look at Steve I think he’s about to have a stroke.” You and Bucky share a laugh and for a second, it’s like you’re back in your early days on the team when it seemed like all you two had was each other.

Once the girls found out the Avengers were in their midst, it was game over. If Sam’s goal was to black out tonight, he accomplished that almost immediately. Liquor was free, dances were free, and unsurprisingly the team was having an amazing time. Besides the waitresses and a few dancers, no one came into your circle, and it ended up being a really fun night. You and Bucky were having so much fun, you couldn’t remember the last time you laughed as hard as you were.

You even noticed Bucky turning down a dance or two, redirecting the girl’s attention to Thor, or the much more enthused, Sam. You expected a newly single Buck to want the attention, but he was not having it.

As the night went on, you caught Bucky staring at you, and more and more you held his stare with a curve to your lips that was reserved just for him.

“Coincidentally” the strip club was next to Sam’s favorite bar. The team decided that was the logical next destination, but you were exhausted and it must’ve been showing on your face.

“Hey doll, why don’t you say we Irish exist these assholes and head home? I’m exhausted.”

“Fuck. Yes. PLEASE let’s go!” You exclaimed as if Bucky was reading your mind. You didn’t want to be the one to suggest it, but you were so happy he did.

You both stand in line with the team but disappear behind everyone as they all head in. Bucky throws an arm around your shoulders as you walk down the street.

“You know, I’m kind of glad it’s just us the rest of the night, that was too much togetherness for me,” Bucky says. You’re blushing and you know he means he’s happy to have a friend, but you find your stomach buzzing with the hope he means something else.

“Same here,” you laugh, “what do you want to do? Grab a cab and head home? Movie? Are you spent?”

“For you? Not at all.” He’s got that dumb grin on your face that makes you want to either kiss him or smack him so he stops distracting you.

“What’re you staring at sweetheart?” You realize it’s getting harder to hide your emotions. He just broke up with Amanda, and maybe it’s the alcohol or the atmosphere, but you can’t stop the word vomit.

You stop him on the sidewalk under the streetlight. There’s no one really out on this street.

“Are we ever going to get it right?” Ope, there it is.

“Get what right?” Bucky is looking at you confused and you’re hoping you can somehow telepathically tell him you mean the two of you. Together. Finally.

“Us.”

Bucky just keeps staring at you like he did that day at the gym. Neither of you say anything, he’s got a hand on your upper arm, resting there.

The regret starts to set in. Things were just getting back to a good place between the two of you, and you just ruined it.

“You know, Amanda and I didn’t work out for a few reasons, but the main one being... ugh, shit, the main reason is that she isn’t you, Y/N.” Bucky just spoke the words you’ve wanted to hear the most but it doesn’t register at first.

He must see that either on your face or through your lack of response. You feel him pulling you in, and right before he moves his lips over yours, it hits you like a train. You love him. Your stubborn, angry, beautiful, amazing Bucky.

You kiss him back with an intensity you didn’t know was in you. You break the kiss and start giggling against his mouth.

“What! I’m not that bad of a kisser!” He’s laughing now with you.

“Sorry, sorry, I just can’t believe this is finally happening. And on a secluded street, under a street lamp. Write a romance novel already, Barnes.”

Your lips to God’s ears, a group of people start walking your way. Bucky looks around and pulls you into a small walkway between two apartment buildings.

“Come here, I wasn’t done with you.” He’s kissing you up against the brick wall like a man starved and you don’t care if anyone sees you, you’ve never felt this happy in your life.

“Let’s just do this, you and me. I’m sick of pretending like you aren’t my person,” you say against his lips.

“Y/N, I want nothing else, ever.”

[thran-duils]

Lost In Zero Gravity (P.9)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Nine) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 2,794 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior

Part Eight || Part Ten || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“Stop fucking following me!” Alessia threatened Tony as he followed her out of the apartment complex onto the sidewalk. He had taken the stairs while she had taken the elevator.

Out of breath, he tried to apologize, “Sweetheart, I can—”

She whipped around, shoving a finger into his face, sending him onto his heels. “Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me! Just go back upstairs and finish fucking that little slut! You seemed so goddamn content burying your dick into her! Just coming into any pussy that grants you entrance! What does it matter what’s going on at home? Because you obviously don’t care that Olivia was asking where her daddy was when she got off stage after having the lead role in her play and you weren’t there!”

She whipped around and came to an abrupt stop because Daryl was there all of a sudden and he stepped in front of her, blocking her path, thinking he was doing the right thing. “Mrs. Stark—”

“Move!” Alessia shouted at him, pushing her purse up her shoulder further, taking a step towards him.

Daryl looked at Tony over her shoulder for guidance and she took the liberty of giving him a rough shove, sending him off balance to give herself room.

She took off towards her car, leaving the two of them behind.

Tony took some steps towards her but the middle finger she shot at him before she got into the car stopped him in his tracks. Terrence came out of the building then but he was only met with Tony storming back by him.

<><><>

Steve jolted when Tony marched back into the apartment, slamming the door behind him. He only stopped for a moment, his veins in his forehead pulsing before he shouted, “FUCK!”

Quickly, Steve reminded him, “Tony! It’s 5am!”

“I don’t give a flying fuck!” Tony exclaimed.

He rushed to the cupboard, grabbing a glass and throwing the faucet handle back with force that made Steve fear he was going to break it off. He thrust the glass underneath the water before bringing it to his lips, gulping it down.

His hand came to rest on the counter as the water settled, but his fingers were still gripping the glass way too hard. Steve waited for him to relax, opting to not say anything until Tony made the next move.

“Is she alright?” Tony asked with difficulty.

He put the glass down, looking at Steve expectantly. Steve gestured weakly and Tony did not accept that answer. He began to move towards the hallway and Steve jumped to action, coming to block his way.

“Don’t,” Steve warned.

“What?” Tony demanded.

Steve gestured at the island where Tony’s socks, shoes, shirt, and other belongings were lying that Tony had not noticed yet in his rampage past it to get some water. “She threw those out of the room. Just… don’t. Leave her alone.”

In disbelief, a manic smirk coming to Tony’s face, he asked, “So… ‘don’t’?”

“She locked us out, Tony.”

<><><>

You heard someone knock aggressively on the bedroom door and you buried yourself further into the blankets, holding the icepack closer to your jaw.

“Y/N?” you heard Tony call.

You said nothing, curling up further into yourself.

“Y/N!”

You tossed the blankets back, the icepack falling from your hand to land on your sheets. Hands planted beside your hips, you shouted at the door, “GO AWAY!”

<><><>

Tony sucked his teeth hearing Y/N shout at him, telling him to leave.

“Well, where do you think I’m gonna go? Because I sure as hell can’t go home!”

“I don’t know! Figure it the FUCK out! You have an office chair you can sleep on right?” she shouted from the other side of the door.

Tony inhaled sharply, his heart rate increasing dramatically. The second woman in his life tonight to tell him to fuck off and he was not about to have it.

As if Steve could sense Tony was taking a step back to cock his foot up and kick the doorhandle in, he barked down the hall in warning, “Tony! Don’t!”

Tony stormed up to him and rasped to try to mask the conversation from Y/N’s ears, “She’s being fucking ridiculous! Do you not hear her? I’m trying to go in there and help her and—”

“I now,” Steve interjected, cutting him off. “She’s emotional. It’s not surprising. But she did get punched twice in the face.”

Through gritted teeth, Tony took a step back, shaking his head. “Fucking… Alessia. How the FUCK did she even find out where we were?”

“She probably followed us. Seems you missed a play and she probably took it up from there trying to figure out what could’ve kept you from it,” Steve told him, setting him with a fierce look. “Seems like a rookie mistake to me.”

An unfriendly smile came across Tony’s face and he said in a dangerous tone, “Now don’t you—”

“No, you know you fucked up. Take the L and learn from it.” Steve gestured down the hallway towards the bedroom, “Let Y/N calm down. She will. Like you said, good girl. She just need space sometimes. And we should give her that. And then we can go deal with the fucking can of worms that was just released all over our goddamn living rooms, yeah?”

<><><>

You heard them leave the apartment. You could not hear most of the last part of their conversation but you heard them leave. You were waiting for that noise of the lock in the front door.

You had paid your dues well enough in your opinion. You had been at their beck and call since the end of August and it was almost December now. And you had not asked them to kill Jared; they had done that all on their own because of their possessiveness and jealousy.

It had to happen and happen quick; you leaving. Before they had time to try to reconcile with you. Tonight would be best, even better this afternoon. You were sick of being treated like they owned you; no matter the feelings you had developed for them, it could not be overstated that you were essentially property. Fuck, they had locked you down in this apartment for a month and a half. It did not matter if you relished in their attention and touch. How were you to know those feelings of affection were real anyway if you were never given a proper chance?

<><><>

You grabbed your purse hanging off the back of your front door on the hook, readying yourself to leave. Throwing your game face on, you also threw the door open, stumbling into the hallway. Snorting, you caught your balance on the doorframe and spun back to face the door, slamming it behind you.

Terrence was waiting at the end of the hall and saw you fumbling with your keys to lock the door behind you.

You heard him say your name, but you ignored him, shoving your key at the deadbolt. He was moving towards you quickly by his footsteps and he made it there quick, just as you locked it.

From beside you, he said, “Y/N?”

Acting startled, your hand came to your chest, jumping back from him. You teetered again, feigning alcohol imbalance and his hand shot out to grab your arm, steading you.

“Oh, shit. Terrance, it’s you. Hey.”

“What are you doing? You should be staying inside.”

“I have a key now, duh,” you said holding it up to him. He did not look impressed and you said, “Why should I stay in? I’m going out!”

“Well, for one, you’ve got a nice shiner on your cheek. Not a great look. Secondly, the bosses wanted you to stay here until things settled. Stay inside until they get the shit under control.”

“Neat,” you said, making sure you slurred it.

Terrence unlocked the door again, assisting you inside. “Y/N, love. You are not sober.”

“Nope, what gave it away?” you giggled, leaning onto his arm for support. You had taken a shot took to make your breath smell off.

“Let’s get you back in here,” he said, kicking the door behind the two of you closed. He brought you over to the island and sat you in one of the chairs.

You eyed the bottle on the counter still and hopped up out of the chair. He made to protest but you came around and poured alcohol into the two glasses. You held one out to him and said, “Seriously, relax. You guys have had a rough day. I mean, I did. I got punched in the face.” You gestured at your cheek and jaw where the bruises had already started to form. “It’ll help.”

Terrence took it from you reluctantly, but you were cheerful as all hell. Clinking glasses, you said, “Cheers. To being in the apartment.”

It took almost an hour for him to pass out with the sleeping pill you had crushed into the glass mixed with the alcohol. Not having to pretend anymore about being drunk, you moved quickly. You grabbed your packed bag out of the bedroom and grabbed the cat carrier. Luna was reluctant at first but when she saw the plush shirt and handful of treats you had packed in there for her she walked in willingly and you closed the door behind her. Thankfully she was not a crier when it came to a carrier; you had had cats that had just been hellions about it.

<><><>

“Tatiana, please—”

You were standing at the foot of her bed, having woke her up very late in the night after leaving your apartment and Terrence passed out on the counter. You had snuck out an emergency exit with Luna and ordered an Uber. Thankfully at least your phone was still separate from anything Tony and Steve had their hands on. A sliver of grace in this shitstorm. The security guards at the brothel had let you in knowing who you were and because you had begged so profusely and swore you would take all the wrath she had to throw.

“What are you of asking me?” she was tired. She eyed the cat carrier at your feet and you decided to ignore that for the moment. Luna was still quiet, snuggling in her blanket you had in there.

Shifting uncomfortably, you said nervously, “Let me move back in.”

She cocked her head, eyes running up and down you. “Has this been agreed upon?”

You wanted to scream at that question. Your future being determined by the two of them was getting underneath your skin.

“I don’t need it to be agreed upon. I’m—I don’t want to live there anymore. I wanna move back here. I wanna move back home.”

That seemed to pain her, you calling the brothel home.

Tatiana stood up then and took some steps towards you. Concern was painted on her face. “What happened?”

You had come in with a hood on, banking on the dark light in the room. And you had not fully looked at her yet. That is something that must have set her on edge about the whole conversation to begin with no doubt.

But the time for shrouding the situation was over. You turned her head to look at her head on and threw your head back so she got a full view of your face.

She looked shocked for a moment before she asked firmly, “Did they do that?”

“No,” you admitted. “Tony’s wife did. She found the apartment somehow. And… me on top of Tony.”

“Shit,” Tatiana swore underneath her breath.

“And they had the audacity to be mad at me for wanting space. I got assaulted in my bedroom! I didn’t… I didn’t do anything wrong! I mean, I did, knowingly. But it’s not my place to make calls for their relationships. It’s not my relationship that’s being fucked up! I’m just… stuck! I’m forced there!” Your lip warbled. “I don’t want to be there anymore. If they want to continue seeing me it has to be here. Where I know random people are not going to barge in, tear me off a bed, and sock me in the face! Where I can do my job in peace!”

“Is it still just a job in your circumstance?”

“What the fuck do you mean?” you exasperated.

“What do you think I mean?”

“Y/N… it’s way past a job for you now and you know it. You’re theirs. You’re their mistress. And in these situations, mistresses sure the hell aren’t the ones calling the shots. And certainly not calling when the relationship is done or where it’s heading. You’re an escape and that escape is something they have a strong hold on.”

Tears stung your eyes and you pleaded, “I just… I wanna be safe!”

It seemed to pain her to say, “I already told you that I cannot stand in their way. I explained why, Y/N. I told you… I told you well why I couldn’t.”

“I have nowhere else to go,” you said tearfully, your voice breaking.

“What about back home? That seemed like an option.”

“And put my grandpa in danger by being around that house?”

Tatiana asked incredulously, “But you’re willing to put all the girls here in danger?”

You shook your head, hanging it. “It’s not the same. It’s… he’s sick.”

“Y/N. I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” you spat, tears rolling down your cheeks.

Her regretful sigh said enough. But she still said heavily, “Both. Stellina, you know it’s both.”

Wiping at your eyes, you stared at the wall instead of her. You needed to compose yourself, knowing you were going to get no help here. You had known it down deep in your gut. But you could not have helped yourself to not try, hoping against everything that it would turn out differently than you expected. That was the way of things; expect the worse and hope for the best.

Looking down at Luna’s cat carrier, you sighed heavily. Maybe you could at least save someone.

“Will you at least keep the cat? I can’t travel well with her. She’ll get along fine with the girls.”

Tatiana seemed ready to reject this request as well, “Y/N, people who come in may have allergies—”

You leveled her with a glare, “I can’t put her out on the street.”

Tatiana’s jaw set and you knew you had struck a nerve. Because that was exactly what she was doing to you.

“Fine, she can stay.”

Relenting, knowing that was the most you were going to get here, you nodded. “Thanks. She’s a good cat. I… she’s very cuddly and she’s not super high maintenance except for her litter. She likes a specific brand that I can write down. And Elisha isn’t allergic. And she likes cats.”

“I know,” Tatiana nodded. And you saw some tears in her eyes too, finally.

Sucking at your teeth, you pushed away from the chair you had been gripping and shrugged. “Then that’s that. I’ll… I’ll just leave her here. Her name is Luna. But I suppose she won’t mind if she’s renamed. She probably doesn’t understand it anyway. I’ve only had her for a short while. She likes fake mice—"

“Stop.”

You stopped talking and met her gaze.

“Where are you going to go?” Tatiana demanded.

You shrugged. That is all you had to offer.

Tatiana looked contemplative before wiping at her eyes. She muttered, “I’m gonna regret this.”

“What—” you started to say but she held up her finger and your mouth closed.

She reached for her bed side table, picking up her cell phone. She scrolled through it for a moment before tapping. The phone came to her ear and she shot you a worried look, before you heard someone answer on the other end.

“I know it’s early. I’m sorry. But I need a favor,” Tatiana said forcibly.

<><><>

“Terrence!” Daryl said for the third time into the walkie talkie forcibly. He had not heard from him in the last ten minutes that he had tried to check in. They only checked in every so often and Terrence was not responding.

Assuming the worst, Daryl took off from the lobby and made his way to the elevator, taking it up.

Terrence was nowhere to be found. The apartment door was unlocked. He pushed it open, finding Terrence slumped on the couch.

Rushing over, Daryl took Terrence’s pulse, finding him still very much alive. He spotted the alcohol and glass on the coffee table, putting two and two together.

There was an apartment key on the coffee table too, right next to the alcohol bottle.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming @oceaniamaddness @multifandom-superlover @imsonick @holl2712 @here4thefanfics

[darkacademicfrom2021]

Away. So, so far away.

<<Previous part Masterlist

Alternative ending with Bucky>>

Alternative ending with Loki>>

Word count: 2,2K

Warnings: angst, incarceration, jealousy, alcohol, minor cursing.

5

Loki felt alone. In solitude, he thought of you more often than he would've liked to recognize. Magic was of no use for him to leave, but he was still able to conjure a few things. He kept going back to that picture you had hung on your apartment, hoping you'd be back and notice the picture was gone. Hoping you'd ask more questions to Thor, enough for him to lose his mind and tell you everything.

That picture took him back to the beach it was taken in. He remembers that moment so well, it's imprinted on his brain, tattooed so it'd never leave him. It was in one of the first missions you two went together.

He was in denial. He didn't want to be your friend, much less get close. You tried, you tried a lot, in different ways. You got him things that reminded you of him from other missions. You teased him, trying to match his sarcasm. You listened to him if he wanted to talk. He had started to care for you but he was still taken aback with all of those… feelings, he was cultivating. Mere seeds you were growing in his dried garden of a heart.

The mountain excursion was not a one-time thing. You did that with almost every mission, periodically searching for moments to steal and roam around the place. In that exact mission, you stole some nights on a nearby beach.

You went alone every night, and came back refreshed. Hair wet, shoes leaving a trail of sand through the hotel room, your blankets always uncomfortably sandy. Loki stayed in his bed, two individuals, reading the whole time. He didn't fall asleep until you were back. It was a dangerous place, and you left at night, after all. It was the least he could do, he thought with a sour taste on his tongue, like admitting he cared made him disgusted.

The second night you came with a handful of colorful and pointy shells, each one different from the other, picked carefully and thoughtfully. Most of them shined, or had golden lines, which very obviously reminded you of your asgardian roommate.

"They're for you", you stated excitedly, leaving them at his nightstand.

He remembers he scoffed and, without taking his eyes off the book, he said something among the lines of "you shouldn't bother being childish with me".

You didn't get mad over it. You were used to him being cold, at that time, where you were alright sharing a room and talking but he wouldn't actually talk. He was reserved, you'd say. You had a liking for quiet people, despite your explosive and loud self.

You kept the shells to yourself and didn't bring them up again. Except, the night that followed, you came back with more shells. Leaving them at his night stand, you didn't say anything and got your things ready to shower. He didn't take his eyes off the book and started saying,

"Again with that? I told you…", but as soon as he watched them, he went silent. You smirked.

"For Your non-childish Highness".

The shells were all black. All picked with especial detail to be the most pure form of black you could possibly find.

He still has those. Somewhere in the apartment he's not allowed to step into.

The last night of that mission, he joined you. You didn't even need to ask him, he just proposed to walk by your side to take some fresh air and stretch before bed. You walked around the beach, and even convinced him to dip his feet on the sea. If you would've been closer at the time, he was sure you'd thrown him fully clothed to the water.

That night he realized he could possibly care a lot more for you than he had initially thought.

He sighed, staring at the picture from his cell. Nobody was around yet. Too early —or too late. He missed you. He thought of leaving a note, and he even wrote it down many times. He is not so sure they got to you. It was part of the punishment and he had to be constantly reminded he couldn't be with you anymore.

He missed you so, so much.

"I'm so, so done with you!!", you yelled to the God of Thunder sitting across the room, just by the long bar of Stark's Tower. "You lying piece of shit, you damned…".

Thor flinched, and then frowned. It wasn't usual for you to lose your temper, much less to him. Bucky and Steve quickly grabbed you by the shoulders and told you to calm down in between whispers.

"Stark, get them a lemonade", hurried Steve.

"No, no. I want to watch this unfold", he laughed and Bucky gave him a dead glare.

"They's too drunk. This is unfair", he said, and Tony sighed.

"They doesn't get drunk".

"Damn fucking well I'm not. Get away from me, I'm trying to talk to this silent asshole over there. Come here, you fucking dipshit", you got rid of their grip and almost jumped to Thor's side.

"Very well, tiny avenger. What would you want…", he began, cheeks red from his own asgardian-sized drink.

"It's been an entire month and a week. Tell me everything you're not telling me", you demanded. He laughed obnoxiously. Loki, watching from the cell through the sphere, boiled in rage.

"Loki… is not worth your time, mortal. You should just get together with sergeant Barnes already", he spat like it was the obvious thing that should happen. Loki decided he'd stab him six—no, seven times as soon as he got to see him, with his sharpest and longest dagger.

"What on Earth do you mean by that?!".

"Calm, calm. The thing is, to save you some more pain, get over him because he's not coming back".

"What have you all done to him? I'll go get him myself".

"Don't be so imprudent. He's not coming back to you, that's for sure".

You insisted. And insisted. And Thor didn't wish his brother to look bad in your eyes, but in his opinion… he looked for it.

Thor was still extremely upset at Loki for going to Jötunheim looking for a throne he very obviously did not deserve, and then had the guts to call himself a rational man. Thor had been reprimanded by Loki himself as a careless oaf for waging war between realms a few years ago, but Loki had just done that —except he was even thirstier for power, and had more to lose.

To Thor, Loki looked for it, and you shouldn't suffer because of it.

So, he decided to lie. To save you some pain, and probably out of pity too.

"My brother took the chance and went for Jötunheim's throne", he said, and you scoffed.

"I knew that. I don't know why he isn't…", you began, and stopped as Thor raised his eyebrows. "I knew he did it after, okay? It's not like I could actually stop him. Now tell me what's next. Why hasn't he come home?".

"He… he got the same answer, that he needed the possibility of leaving an heir, so he…".

Loki watched with extreme attention. Thor wasn't going to actually say something like that, right? He knew his brother was upset, but… he wouldn't, right?

"So he what, Thor?".

"He just married a Jötun woman. She's with child. He has no intentions of coming back ever again".

Loki laughed, incredulous. You wouldn't believe that, would you? His heart was beating so fast he felt it burst open.

"He what? No, no. He didn't, you're lying".

"He did. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner".

"No… it's not true. It's not. He loves me, and I love him".

"He loves the throne even more".

You had to sit on the floor. Bucky ran to your side and you broke down in his arms. You cried so loud, Loki's chest felt like blowing up for sure this time.

He summoned an energy blast that broke every single furniture on his cell, accompanied with a scream that he was sure you would've heard from there if his cell wasn't silenced with blocking spells. He couldn't keep his anger for himself anymore.

He forgave Thor for many things. But now… He will never, ever in the almost four millennials they have left to live, forgive Thor for that.

On the roof of the compound, the sunsets were better, you always said.

You laid your back against the tiles and watched the sun with puffy eyes from last night. Loki was watching you with the half-broken sphere, and, lost in thought —much like you— didn't seem to notice James getting on the roof too. He rubbed your back comfortingly and you greeted him with a sad smile.

"Hey", he said. He spoke like you'd break down again. "How are you feeling?".

"I'm sorry about yesterday", you hurried. "I was very drunk. I don't have filters and get all intense and emotional when I drink too much".

"Don't apologize, you were right to feel that way. Loki's an asshole".

Both you and Loki flinched at that. Loki, because the damn soldier was right. To your eyes, Loki was now an asshole.

"I don't feel like I should believe Thor", you mumbled. "But Thor has never lied to me".

"It sounds crazy, I know… you were such a couple. I don't think I've ever seen that guy smile if it wasn't with you", he said, and placed a hand over yours. You let him. Loki sighed.

"I just… I can't imagine him being like that. I know he's done bad things in the past. I know his whole history with betrayal. But he's different now. I want to believe he's changed".

"Because of you?", Bucky raised his eyebrows, and you chuckled in embarrassment, nodding and putting your lips in a tight line. "Don't get me wrong, you're great. You're… wonderful. But…".

"But nothing is the direct cause of someone changing. I know. I didn't mean to sound so egocentric".

"I know. But I meant it when I said you're wonderful. That's what I've been saying all this time. You don't deserve to be stepped on like this".

Loki could feel his heartbeat race. He knew what followed now. You'd soon forget him and fall in love with the sexy supersoldier that held your hand and complimented you and treated you like the world you were, because Loki wasn't there and Loki hurt you enough to be vulnerable to everyone's eyes.

Loki was sure you hated him now.

"It's just that… I love him so much, I feel my heart shrink a little each day".

Bucky sighed, and hugged you with only one arm —the warm one. You put your head on his shoulder. He kissed your forehead.

"You'll be fine, sweetheart. I promise".

Loki stopped keeping count of how long he's been locked up. Between the time differences in Asgard and Midgard, and the fact that he had no other way to tell than to scratching a fucking wall every day, he's not so sure how long it's been.

He doesn't have the sphere anymore. He hasn't had it for a long time, now. It felt long. He isn't sure how long. His mother found it missing and went to him. His mother wasn't upset. She knew why he took it. Why he needed it.

Loki isn't sure if it's been a few months, a year or if you're already buried deep inside a grave. He shudders and flinches at the thought. But it would've happened with or without him. After all, you're a mortal. Or were.

"Loki, my son", called Frigga. He was still laying on the bed, staring at the roof. She was carrying a handful of books.

He looked up and scanned her. She was dressed up.

"The Ball", he stated, and his heart weighed even more. The Ball happened, for Earth's chronology, every ten years. He now knows, he's been locked up for five. "I assume you're planning on keeping me here for at least another… three days", he said, looking at the books.

"Loki", she warned. How could he sass her even in his current position? She thought.

"That's all you've been saying. You come here, and look at me disappointedly, and call my name with its various pet names. I beg you to stop pretending you don't know what to say. If you're biting your tongue, free it, or bite it enough to draw blood".

"It's already bleeding, Loki", she frowned, tossing his books through the walls of the cell. "I have many things I'd like to say to you. I don't think it's wise anymore".

"When am I getting out?".

"You're not getting out any time soon, son".

"I know that. I'm asking when exactly. A decade? A hundred? A millenia?", she sighed, and Loki raised his voice, "TELL ME!!".

Loki hadn't had enough time. If he were to ever see you again, he had to get out right now. And even then he was sure you'd never receive him back again.

"Now, watch your tone, boy".

Loki growled animalistically, and tossed himself back to bed.

"Leave".

His mother left. She came back a few weeks later, only to find an empty cell.

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[princessphilly]

So... I had a thought about lumberjack!Steve and this happened. I apologize in advance

The snow was falling gently, dampening all sound through the forest. The branches creaking under the weight of the fresh fallen powder were muted, making them feel farther away than just over head. Even the usually sharp thwack of the axe splitting logs was dulled by the swirling flurry. The view out the cabin’s window reminded you of a Thomas Kinkade painting. Everything was peaceful, quiet, if not a little cold.

There was a fire roaring in the wood stove, but the weather made you want to curl up in front of it. Preferably with the man who was currently out back splitting logs. Frankly, you had something else you’d rather he split.

Pulling open the back door and stepping onto the threshold, you had a good line of sight to the old stump Steve stood at chopping wood. You watched as he swung the axe down with practiced ease. The movement as smooth as the rolling of waves. Each muscle bulging with effort visible through the sleeves of his flannel shirt; the material stretching across his broad chest. The cold seeping through your thick wool socks did nothing to extinguish the new warmth blooming inside you. Watching Steve chop wood stoked a primal fire in your belly. Something about knowing what a strong provider your man was satisfied the baser part of your brain.

“Hey, handsome!” You called over the snowfall. Steve’s head snapped to look at you. The little pom ball on the top of his knit cap wobbling from the action. His cheeks were flushed from the chill and exertion, eyes alight, and smile bright. “Think you’re going to be coming in soon?” You asked, fidgeting your feet and crossing your arms to hug yourself. Your sweater no match for the temperature outside.

“Yeah, doll! Let me get this wood in the basket by the door, and I’ll be right in.” He grinned from behind his beard. You watched him sink the axe into the old stump before bending to pick up the pile of split wood he’d just made, then shamelessly ogled at how great his ass looked in those jeans.

Hefting all the wood into his arms with ease, Steve’s heavy boots crunched their way through the snow to the back door. He dropped the wood into the metal basket off to the side, then swooped in to drop a sweet kiss to your waiting lips. His nose was just a little cold as he nuzzled it into your own. It was sweet, but you wanted more.

Curling your fingers into the front of his flannel, you pressed up onto your toes and claimed his mouth in a more purposeful, sensuous kiss. Steve’s rough palms eagerly settled at your waist to help you keep your balance. Dropping back onto your heels, the kiss broke allowing you both to pull in much needed air.

“Are you tired from your wood cutting?” You asked, peering up at him innocently. Steve made a funny face; expression screwing up as if to say ‘I could do that all day, and you know it.’ It makes you giggle and Steve smiles softly at the sound. “I was just asking!” You titter, running your palms over the warm expanse of his chest. Even in the snow, he radiated heat. “I sort of had something in mind...”

Your voice trailed off, and the door was kicked closed. The air thick with promise.

—————————

You were spread out on the bear skin rug in front of the wood stove, skin glowing dewy in the warm light of the fire. You’d been worked over first by Steve’s fingers, then his mouth. Each orgasm masterfully drawn from you with a deceptive dexterity. Your skin prickled by beard burn where he’d lavished you with kisses, and taken his time leaving love bites.

Knelt between your parted thighs, Steve waited. Stroking the head of his cock through your glistening folds, smearing a bead of precum over your clit that stood proudly from under its hood. “Fuck, so wet,” he groaned. “Think you’re ready, doll? Ready for my cock?” You whimpered pathetically, canting your hips up to try and gain some more friction. Steve cooed. “How do we ask, babydoll?”

“Please, Daddy,” you keen. Hands skating up his biceps to lace into his hair.

“Good girl.”

He sinks in slowly, making sure you feel the stretch of him on your aching walls, inch by glorious inch. Steve groans into your neck, throaty and rich, as the silky feeling of your heat wraps around him so tightly. You whimper again.

“Daddy, it’s too big!” You squirm, Steve not even half in. A warm, callused palm drops to your hip to pin them in place.

“It’s not too big, babydoll.” Steve reassures, palm drifting from your hip to your lower belly. Your head thrashing side to side in frustrated refusal.

“It won’t fit.”

“Daddy’s cock’ll fit, baby.” His voice calm, soothing as he rubs his thumb over the top of your pelvis and slowly presses his hips forward into yours. “It’s all for you, babydoll. I know you can take it.” Blue eyes soft as they watched you open for his girth.

Your back arched at the feeling of fullness, stretched so perfectly to your limit. “Good girl. Taking all of Daddy’s cock so well.” You practically preen at the pride in his voice.

“So full,” you mumble, cock drunk already.

“Not too full. Daddy’s still gotta pump you full of his cum.” Steve punctuated with a sinful roll of his hips. His pubic bone grinding into your clit. You loosed a wanton moan. “Yeah? You want Daddy to cum in this tight little pussy?” He asked, beginning a deliberately slow pace, each stroke deep and intentional.

“Yes, Daddy” you slurred.

“Yes, Daddy what?” Steve’s hips drew all the way back, just the tip of his dick at the entrance of your throbbing core.

“Yes, I want you to cum in this pussy, Daddy.” In any other moment you’d be embarrassed by how desperate and whiney you sounded, but you were too far gone to care.

“Okay, baby. Then Daddy’s gonna cum in this little pussy.” With a single thrust, Steve was buried back inside you to the hilt. A ripple of pleasure coursing through your body, carrying the promise of the purest ecstasy.

[anika-ann]

State Your Name (for the Record) - S.R.

Type: One-shot, Reader Insert, emotional H/C

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader       Word count: 5560

Summary:  For a man haunted by nightmares, waking up was an ambivalent process.

For a man in love, the pros outweighed the cons. And make no mistake, Steve Rogers was a man in love. 

In which Steve feels blue, but he can count on his girl to raise his spirits – especially since she can convince his whole team to do something nice for him.

Warnings: implied mission going not so well, angst, crying, self-doubts,  swearing ,fluff and cheesiness of the highest order

Waking up was an everyday process most people considered unpleasant.

For a man haunted by nightmares, either made up by his traumatised mind or simply by pressing re-play on one from the stack of torturous memories, the action was both relieving and exhausting.

Waking up meant the nightmares were over; waking up meant he had to pick himself up and, despite all odds, face another day, even when his body ached and his soul seemed too tired, yet determined to continue to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

For a man in love, the pros outweighed the cons. And make no mistake, Steve Rogers was a man in love.

A woman he proudly called his girlfriend was nothing less than everything he could wish for; she carried beauty in features she considered imperfect, she never failed to make him smile for at least a fraction, her laughter filled his chest with delight as it lit up the room and she was gentle and dorky to a fault. And for he was willing to give her the world, she reciprocated his feelings to full extend.

Waking up next to the woman he loved was what always won over the desire to bury his face under the covers and tell the world to let him fucking rest.

He even cherished waking up with you. Hell, if he could squeeze in a morning run between the time he got up and you did, the better. He loved pulling you from your dreamland, even when you had clearly been dreaming a sweet dream, your lips gently curled up in a smile; because every time he tenderly welcomed you in a new day, your smile would turn brighter.

Which was exactly the reason why, when he opened his eyes today and found your side of the bed – how bold of him to call it that, when you usually slept in his embrace anyway, keeping his heart warm while he did the same for your body – empty, he knew that day would downright suck.

Steve muttered a curse under his breath, running his hand down his face as he forced himself to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed.

You weren’t exactly a proclaimed early riser, so not only that your absence was unnerving and painful, because today more than at any other day Steve would beg for you to be there when he entered the reality, but it was also slightly disconcerting.

He tried not to read more into it and as he glanced at the clock, he knew shouldn’t – after all, he had been informed you would be gone at that time.

Still though, dark thoughts were sometimes hard to chase away. Thoughts regarding you avoiding him. He hated when he was pulling your bright spirit down, dragging you into the shadows of his world, bloody and violent, fearsome and traumatising, offering nothing but bruises, cuts, stab-wounds and shot-wounds, broken bones and broken minds.

Whenever he came back to you from a mission – a bad one, in particular – and you offered him comfort, kindness and understanding that rationally didn’t have any base since you weren’t a soldier of any kind, he questioned whether this was the last time. Whether this was the last drop into the metaphorical goblet of your patience with which it would overflow and you would finally break things off with him after a year being together, living with him for half of that time.

Steve closed his eyes, recalling your words from yesterday, ones that, at the time, fell to deaf ears.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you soothed him when he told you what had happened, how he had messed up and nearly got Natasha killed, which had resulted in Clint yelling at him for being incompetent for leading the team. “From what I hear, anyone would have made the same decision on their best conscience if they received the same intel – hell, this was the best option, they could have decided worse. You’re a great leader. And an amazing friend. The fact you’re beating yourself over something that was beyond anyone’s control only proves it. Let the guilt go.”

He had basked in your embrace and soothing voice, but the message you had been trying to send was not quite getting through, leaving him restless and feeling uneasy, drowning in self-doubt and pain.

Of course, being a bioengineer, having been the one to help developing actual painkillers and anaesthetics for him, you had also basically shoved the former down his throat because of his healing broken ribs, which caused him to sleep through your alarm and wake up at shamefully late hour.

Which meant he missed you and you had already must be on your way to France for symposium of biogenetics.

As if it wasn’t enough that he was questioning his yesterday’s decisions, his position in the team as a leader and a person to be begin with, and his life choices overall you weren’t here.

Maybe Clint was right; he might have been a captain, but in a name only. He fucked up royally and it could have cost his dear friend her life. He wasn’t what he had used to be. This century offered people much stronger, smarter and more capable than him, easily being able to replace him in the position.

His gut twisted at that idea, but perhaps this could be the time he should make space for someone else and just follow orders. Hell, he never wanted to lead in the first place! Not when he had first joined the army nearly a hundred years ago.

His sigh was the only sound in the screaming silence of the bedroom and Steve pushed himself to his feet, not surprised at all that his ribs only echoed the previous pain, and shuffled to the bathroom to have a shower.

Too sleepy and cranky to notice it earlier, he only found a sticky note – possibly having been on the mirror but peeling off because of the steam from the shower – in the bathroom sink.

Unwittingly, his lips curled up in a small smile when he recognized your messy handwriting.

Morning, Stevie. Find a little thing in our kitchen :)

Not bothering to wear more than his boxers, he obediently walked to your private kitchen. You both enjoyed breakfast with the team in the communal kitchen, but there were times you wanted some privacy, revelling in the moments you could have only for yourselves.

Kitchen? Had you managed to make him breakfast? Steve wasn’t hungry, his insides too tight for that, his mind too heavy, but he appreciated the gesture anyw-

He frowned when he found his laptop on the counter instead, a flash drive lying on top of it with another note. He wondered how could he not wake up with you moving around the apartment.

Please, play ‘PLAY ME’ video. I think it’ll be worth it. xxx

Steve found himself tilting his head to side, curious and confused. He couldn’t imagine you leaving something of a-- dirty nature for him, knowing the mood he had been in last night and yesterday in general. Sex was usually not the best way of cheering him up in such situation. As embarrassing as it might seem, he was more of a cuddler at times like these.

Not bothering with fixing himself breakfast, debating Natasha was probably still asleep in her bed in the med bay, he seated himself on the bar stool and heard out your plea.

He was not by any means ready for what was waiting for him after pressing play.

Whoever was filming was apparently not very good at it as the screen appeared to be shaking, but in the end, the device must have been placed on a steady surface and actually zoomed onto something concrete instead of showing a blur.

What surprised him more though was that it was Clint’s voice sounding from the speakers of his laptop, even before the screen showed his face.

“You for real? Do you realize what time it is…? --Oh, not as late as I thought actually. Ugh, okay. I guess that’s fair. You’re actually making this easier for me, you know that?”

Steve frowned, gulping as the voice of his teammate turned from annoyed to surprised to grateful. All of the emotions were far from what Steve had been met with yesterday’s afternoon after the mission.

The archer was seated on an empty bed in med bay, probably alone in the room (unless Steve counted the person who was filming), because there were no intrusive sounds. Steve wasn’t taken aback by the environment he found him in – after all, Clint probably spent a lot of time there, watching over his partner in both work and personal life. He fidgeted before looking directly to the camera.

“Okay. Here we go. Hey, Cap. Steve. I’m sorry. I… I shouldn’t have yelled at you yesterday. I was being an ass,” he admitted, the annoyance back – this time though, it looked as if the source of his indignation was Clint himself. “You know… you know Tasha’s my whole world and seeing her almost blown up… it got the best of me. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. In fact, I think I’d give the same order. So… I’m sorry.”

Steve gulped, not entirely convinced. If he was being honest, the seeds of doubts had been planted and while Clint’s apology did lift some of the weight from Steve’s shoulders, genuinely appreciated, his mood remained rather sour and gloomy.

Confusion never left him either. He was 95% percent sure you had been the one to film the apology, but the reason behind such action was escaping him. Had Clint left with you, hence apologizing like this instead of in person? That wasn’t right. Why would he go with you?

Turned out, expecting that that was it, the end of the recording, was a mistake. The recording went on and Steve only now noticed what length the timer actually showed. It would go for… several minutes, actually.

That was strange.

Clint on the screen fidgeted and took a deep breath, exchanging a look with of whom Steve assumed was you.

“The truth is, I wouldn’t trade places with you. Like, ever. The pressure we put on you must be unbearable. I think we forget about that sometimes, what a toll it has to take on you. The responsibility on your shoulders has to weigh a fucking ton. We don’t say thank you enough and when we do, you shrug it off, because that’s what you do. Because you think that’s what’s expected of you.”

Steve blinked in surprise, the words striking him right in his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. What… why would Clint say that?

“And it is, but I want to tell you we appreciate it. We do. To actually fulfil my assignment, I should phrase it differently. I appreciate your modesty, your determination and the fact I can always rely on you. Except when your lady’s around. Then you kinda get lost in-”

A terribly aimed slipper hit the archer in his shoulder and the corners of Steve’s lips automatically twitched in amusement. Oh yeah, it was definitely you behind the camera, now he was sure. Familiar warmth spread around his heart when he realized you wanted to prove him that Clint not only didn’t blame him, but appreciated him even.

What had Steve even done to deserve you?

“-ouch!” the man in the recording complained, pretending to be wounded. “What? It’s the truth—fine. You’re just- you’re great, man, alright? That’s it.”

Steve nearly went for his phone that very second, wanting to let you know how much he loved you, even though his doubts didn’t go away.

The picture changing in a sharp cut made him stop as he spotted a flash of red hair.

Natasha. She was awake. It was undoubtedly her and in a recent footage, because Steve recognized that wound on her head – and she was lying in a hospital bed.

What in the world even…?

The tension in his shoulders eased despite his heart racing. She was smirking even.

“Hey there, you righteous guilty-driven ass!” she greeted him, only to be scolded by your voice from behind the camera.

“Nat!“

“I swear I’m about to make a point!” the spy protested, raising her uninjured hand in a gesture of surrender. “So from what I understand, you’ll get this video only in the morning and by that time, you’ll have already checked up on me for three times – or four, unless you bothered to find this recording first thing after waking up – despite doctors telling you I’d be fine every time you do.”

That-- was unsurprisingly accurate. What Natasha said was true – Steve had checked up on her three times before you had talked him into finally going to bed to get some sleep and he had been thinking about stopping by first thing after finishing this video.

It was almost infuriating how much Natasha knew him, but Steve was too relieved she was awake, speaking and calling him out on his bullshit to care.

“‘cause you’re fussing, Rogers. You’re a mother hen.”

Steve sighed. She was right once more. He had been said such, multiple times. But he felt responsible for his team, for his friends and you and he had seen too many deaths in both the past and the modern times to not to fuss.

“But you know what? We bitch about it, but we love it,” Natasha announced, her smirk softening into a smile. “Let’s be honest; our team needs a babysitter. Clint and Tony are giant children with dangerous weapons, not to mention oh so mighty Thor, I admit I can get cocky just to prove myself in the sea of testosterone from all of you and Bruce… you always try to get him in, showing him that he’s worthy as both the Hulk and his human self. You’re a mother hen with giant heart and you’re baring it for us, carrying it on your sleeve and putting in into everything you do. So… keep rolling. And for god’s sake, do not visit me again.”

Terrible wink followed, very unsubtle, as if she was telling him she was only kidding, but at the same time not quite, because he was overdoing it with his mother-henning.

And Steve found himself laughing at the glint in her eyes, feeling tears forming in his own. His limbs felt strangely floaty, as did his head. He couldn’t remember receiving so much compliments and support in a very long time, certainly not from the former assassin duo.

The sensation was pleasant, but oh so unusual, he couldn’t even describe it.

Of course, the fact you had orchestrated this whole this was not helping his lovesickness. It was hard to tell whether it was day or night from the footage, when exactly you did this, but he was aware of how nervous you were about the symposium. You should have been going through your notes for your presentation (for like… the tenth time, because for all your brilliance, you were a very nervous speaker, a bit like Bruce); instead, you spent your spare time doing this, only to make Steve feel better.

And the video was far from being over.

Surely enough, the scenery changed again, the camera aimed at a computer screen this time. Steve didn’t understand until he recognized Thor, who was currently spending his time with Jane Foster in New Mexico, video-conferencing with you.

“Unbelievable,” Steve muttered under his breath, amazed.  

“What is it, lady of Captain’s?” the alien demigod asked, frowning at the screen of his own computer. “This way of communication is still confusing, why are you writing when we can talk together? …Oh.”

The blond was silent for a moment, appearing in deep thought, before smiling broadly.

“Very well. What is of the Captain’s qualities. He’s a mighty warrior. A brave man I would always follow into battle without question. Excellent leader, always having his garrison’s safety in mind-“

A sting of guilt burned at Steve’s consciousness at that.

Did he? He always tried, sure… but was it enough? Yesterday’s incident was proving the opposite, yet he had been acting in utter belief that what he had decided was for the best, confident that the risk for his teammate was minimal. That was the problem with bad intel; they never knew it was bad until something blew up in their faces, sometimes literally. He could never predict what had happened.

And with each minute of this video, Steve felt he was letting a piece of the guilt go, along with doubt.

He wasn’t stupid; he knew that precisely that was the point of this thing, but… yeah, that realization did nothing against the fact that it was working.

“Steven radiates strength, both bodily and mentally and he is a great friend of all,” Thor on the screen continued in his loud voice. “I feel blessed by the Allfather and all Gods above for I encountered him and fought side-by-side with him as well celebrated victories. I look forward for more to come, always delighted by reconnecting with him.”

By the time Bruce in his lab coat appeared (seriously, how did you manage to get a hold of everyone? Steve wasn’t sleeping for that long, though it probably helped that half of his team, if not all, were insomniacs), Steve was breathless with anticipation, greedy for hearing what others had to say, no matter how selfish it made him.

He craved comfort and since you weren’t there… you obtained a different kind of comfort for him and shit, was it working.

“Uh. I’m not good at this-”

“Try? Please?” you asked the scientist softly and Steve could imagine your soothing smile, the gentle hope and plea in your eyes. Steve could never deny you when you asked something of him like that and when you stooped even lower and used your puppy eyes, he stood no chance.

“He’s lucky to have you, you know,” Bruce noted and Steve’s smile widened when you sounded flustered at that remark.

“Bruce…”

“What? You’re an important part of him we appreciate. But I understand complimenting you isn’t the point of this. Just let me… eh. Alright. I think I got it. I’m not good at talking, but I’m gonna try,” he exclaimed, clearly determined. He wasn’t looking directly into the camera, but that didn’t steal any significance from his words.

“Steve, I hope you don’t beat yourself over what happened yesterday. I mean… I know you do, but my point is – don’t. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. You do what you believe is right and we know you long enough to know that that moral compass of yours is as important as your quick decisions in the field – right ones. But what is even more important and why I appreciate you is that… you try to see that piece of goodness in everyone. You see it in Nat, who sure made some questionable things in the past. You see through Tony’s façade and… you see good in me. You look and you see good in people – and every creature – and that’s the best thing about you. Ugh… yeah, I don’t think I can do more.”

He smiled awkwardly, fiddling with his fingers then and lowering his gaze.

It was easy to imagine what – or rather who – was coming next. Steve wasn’t confident he could take it. He had felt an uncomfortable stinging in his eyes two people back, few tears at bay, but he wanted to watch the rest.

The floating sensation overwhelmed his brain and he was honestly surprised he was still breathing, because he felt too stunned to do so. And he felt… moved. Appreciated. Cherished. Hell, he even felt the confidence he needed in the field to the exact quick decisions Bruce had mentioned slowly returning.

His team, his friends… they trusted him. They doubted him less than he doubted himself.

The picture got blurry once more, Tony’s incredulous voice crystal clear.

“So you want me to make a video equivalent of a love letter to him,” the billionaire stated sceptically and despite himself, Steve grinned.

Tony was a complicated person, but leave it to him to be sarcastic and lift the spirit in his own very specific way.

“No! That’s not- Tony. Please?”

“You know, this puppy eyes shit only works on Rogers, not-“ he wavered and Steve laughed as the recording cleared and focused on Tony’s torn expression. Oh, he was going to give in to Steve’s amazing girl, Steve could tell. “-shit. I can’t believe you’re making me do this. You’re infuriating.”

“I know,” you sing-sang as Tony sunk further into the chair in his workshop. “And thanks.”

“Fine. Hey, Capsicle.”

Steve could practically hear your eyeroll at the nickname and for a good measure, he rolled his eyes too. Capsicle. It used to irritate him more, the word Stark used the first time they met. Now it was-- Steve was only mildly annoyed when Tony called him that. There were worse names he had been called.

“Steve. I bet you know, unlike like Miss America over here, that I only give nicknames to people I like,” Tony made a point, looking at you with a smirk and Steve was sure a light-bulb appeared above his own head as he realized that… it actually made sense.

“There aren’t many of those and even less of them realize that they are part of that exclusive club. Look, I do stupid shit. I built robots for fun and to cover for the fact I couldn’t exactly fight without them, and I’m terrible with people. Fury didn’t even want me on the Avengers initiative, because I’m known for being a selfish bastard and not a team player, which you recognized within five minutes of meeting me.”

Steve felt rather bad for such an early assumption. Admittedly, he had been harsh on the man, letting the information he had received cloud his judgement and became a willing victim of prejudice. Hearing Tony self-reflecting his faults, eating the humble pie, it only proved how wrong Steve had been. Hell, Tony had turned out to be the man to make the sacrifice the very same day Steve had accused him of his inability to do so.

Which was why Tony’s next words knocked the air out of Steve’s lungs very effectively, striking his heart with deadly precision. He honestly had no idea what to do with the knowledge he obtained now.

“The thing is, your stupid blond ass is making me want to change that. I hate saying this, because I’m aware it can be used against me, but you’re my friend. I respect you and I admire you. You inspire people. I will always brag about the time I carried a nuke into a wormhole, but the truth is, as much as I liked Coulson and his death was something that brought us together, without you, I don’t think I would have done it. I will bitch about you, I will call you names, I will be an arrogant ass, because that’s who I am, but it won’t change the fact I look up to you. …‘kay. I think that I did ok-- are you crying?”

Steve shook himself, for a moment swearing Tony could see him and spoke directly to him. He quickly blinked away the few tears, shocked to his very core.

Tony… was claiming to take the risk of dying during the battle of New York, because… Steve had inspired him? What the actual-

“Shut up,” you murmured at Tony’s accusation and Steve couldn’t blame you one bit for the tears he couldn’t see. He was such a mess himself. This was too much.

What Tony had said, what you had done for him, what everyone shared through this recording--

He wanted to close the laptop shut and deal with the raging sea of emotions, the silly laugh and tears threatening to spill in waterfalls, the feeling of his heart swelling and nearly bursting in his chest, making it difficult to breathe, his head spinning-

But the video was still not over.

The scenery didn’t quite change, except the chair Tony had been sitting in was empty now, his voice sounding as he spoke from a different angle to the device.

“Come on, doc, you have to do this too, otherwise it won’t count. Do it for the old man. Should I leave so my virgin ears don’t bleed on the dirty things you-“

“Tony… shut up.”

Steve could hear your sigh and heavy hesitant steps and then you appeared in the frame, seating into the chair with a discontent frown, fidgeting nervously.

Steve thought his mouth might actually tear with how widely he was smiling now. You were adorable as the camera revealed you in all your glory – Steve’s long t-shirt you usually slept in and a pair of baggy sweatpants you wore when you were cold, as well as a light sweater thrown over your shoulders. Which, given how tired you looked, made sense, because you were always cold when you didn’t get enough sleep.

Steve hadn’t thought he could get any more touched by what you did, but seeing you now, he assessed the sacrifice you had made just to make him feel better all over again, the severity of your actions hitting him.

What you had done must have been a spontaneous action; you had actually filmed all of those things in the late night and early morning. Tired, with no make-up on yet, but smiling that nervous sweet smile, you tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. You were not looking to the camera, worrying your teeth over your lip.

“Okay, okay…. Please, look directly to the camera and state your name and date of birth for the record,” Tony encouraged you, indulging the moment your roles reversed.

“I’m not doing that,” you hissed, but then you raised your gaze and Steve’s heart stopped. Despite the exhaustion on your face, your eyes radiated warmth and tenderness. “Hey, Stevie. I guess Tony has a point for once-“

“Hey-!“

“-and since I came up with this, I should contribute. But where do I even start?” you wondered as if you truly had to wonder, as if there were too many things to point out. Steve craved having you in his arms to hug you profusely and kiss the living daylight of you for being so sweet and precious.

“And they all gave names to your qualities so well! Uhm… now, I don’t have a first-hand experience with your Avenging, so I can leave out this part of you, but there is still so much to love about you. First of all, you’re kind. Such a gentle soul, such a giver. You’ve been kicked down so many times and yet here you are, not yelling at me when I eat too much chocolate and then complain about stomach-ache and my belly being too soft-“ Steve chuckled at that, recalling way too many times that situation occurred. “I bet that watching this video, you’re still thinking I look cute instead of acknowledging I look like shit. Because you seek the beauty in everything and you love the world. It was one of the first things I noticed about you-“

“Right after his ass and muscles, no doubt mesmerized by his sky-blue eyes,“ Tony hummed from the background, effectively startling Steve who had honestly let the fact that Tony was even there slip from his mind, too lost in your love declarations.

“Fuck you, Tony. And his eyes are not sky-blue, they have a little green in them.“

“Really? Jarvis, show me a good picture…”

“Anyway. You give so much and don’t ask anything in return. Sometimes I can see how much you want to, but you never do. It’s like you don’t expect to get it anyway, not even the little things. As if you didn’t deserve it. Newsflash, Stevie, you do. You deserve the world. I wish I could give it to you…”

Oh, you’re doing that, sweetheart, Steve wished to tell you, but even if he had you on the phone at the moment, he wouldn’t be able to say a word with his throat constricted with the overwhelming emotions.

“And the world itself won’t come crushing down over a mistake that wasn’t even in your power to avoid and it won’t break down if you take a breath and relax. I always think I’m on the right way to convince you about that, but then you shy away from it. You matter, Stevie. You, Steven Grant Rogers, matter so much. Everyone pointed out at least one thing about you and not the Captain and that’s not a coincidence. Despite everything, you’re only human, we remember that and we all love you for it.”

“Some more than others…” Tony interrupted again, his voice carrying a hoarseness as if he was affected by your speech as well. You pointedly ignored him.

“Don’t forget that. I have it from a good source that a guy once told you that everything special about you came from a bottle. We both know that’s a load of bullshit. Even Doctor Erskine recognized how special you were and decided to choose you. Good becomes great, you told me he said. Well, sure. It just needed an opportunity to show. Let’s be honest, I have no doubt that your stubbornness and other tiny flaws amplified too, because you’re unbelievable sometimes, but that’s okay. In the end, you’re the best man I have ever met and I am lucky and feel proud to be called yours. I love you, Stevie. So much,” your voice lowered to a whisper and with a tight smile, you lightly kissed your fingers and nearly touched the lens of the camera.

Steve choked on a watery laugh. You really were too cute for words. A brilliant scientist, one of the most intelligent women the world knew, and here you were being adorable and utterly devoted to him.

Christ, he didn’t deserve you.

“Stupid allergies…” Tony complained, fooling no one as his voice came out scratchy from the lump that no doubt formed in his throat. “You done?”

To Steve’s utter surprise, you shook your head, drying a stray tear that escaped your eyes as well, but the corners of your lips twitched in attempted smile.

“Just a sec. I’m sorry, I want to edit this video more, cut some parts out, but I’ll probably run out of time and I want you to have it in the morning. It’s a bit messy, but I hope with all my heart that you received the message loud and clear.” You have no idea. “Also, sorry for the killer dose of painkillers and sneaking out without a goodbye. I’d be pissed if you did that to me, so… you know, sorry. I promise to make it up to you when I’m back-”

“Ouch, ouch! That’s what I was talking about, I did not want to hear that! I’m scarred for life!” Tony howled dramatically and Steve didn’t even had energy to roll his eyes. He was a complete mess.

“Tony? You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re too good to be true, doc. I think you gotta get on the plane in like thirty minutes, so-“

A look of utter shock and horror appeared on your face and you jumped from the chair with admirable energy for such an early hour and the all-nighter you pulled. “Shit, shit shit-- I’m not gonna edit it at all then, dammit-“

“Nah, I bet it’s better without it, more authentic. Go write a note or something equally sickeningly sweet that you romantics do-”

“Turn it off, you goof!” you giggled, reaching for the camera and the screen went black as if on command.

Steve sat on the bar stool for several minutes, staring on the screen absently, grinning and feeling… so indescribably loved he couldn’t quite contain it.

What you had done-

Feeling like an idiot for not doing it earlier, he sprang towards the bedroom to get his phone, typing a message to you. If he remembered correctly, you might still be on your way, but sometimes it was hard to tell with Tony’s inventions.

S: Have a safe flight and nice stay, sweetheart. You’ll rock. x

S: And thank you for what you’ve done. I don’t deserve you.

His heart skipped a beat when the phone chimed in response almost instantly.

♥: Clearly, you weren’t paying enough attention when watching. Go play it again, Stevie.

He grinned. Apparently, despite the lack of sleep and the nerves he had seen every time you had thought of your presentation, you were fine.

His heart felt too big for his ribcage, squishing his lungs as it grew in size, barely being able to let out a laugh.

S: I did!

S: Correction then: thank you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ll always be grateful for you and I love you more than anything.

This time, he expected the early comeback.

♥: Love you too. Miss you already! xxx

Steve set the phone down with a goofy smile plastered over his face and went to watch the video again – the part with you anyway.

He could go and check on Natasha later. After all, she told him not to do that again anyway.

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S.R. masterlist

⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰

I should be posting Errare Humanum Est and Attached, but I was feeling a bit down and overwhelmed with schoolwork, so I dusted off this baby for you. I hope you enjoyed :-*

Steve deserves some love from his girl and from his teammates. I actually considered writing this with few alternations so it was Peter doing the video (as a non-relationship kind of thing), but I guess this is even sweeter... in a romantic way anyway.

Thank you for reading!

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

hoax

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x OC!Reader; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

word count: 4197

warnings: language, angst, some fluff

[a/n: sorry it’s taken me so long to get this new chapter out. we got a new cat a couple of weeks ago and within 24 hours of having the cat we had to rush him to the vet a couple of times, thankfully now he’s doing so much better. I hope you all had a great holiday weekend. and hope you enjoy this part]

Previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 19/20

Location: NY & CA

Year: 2013-2014

Elizabeth was frozen in place just staring at Bucky emotionless. She didn't know what to feel. Looking at the scene in front of her it was obvious what had happened between them. There was no denying. To even deny would be to think

Elizabeth is an idiot.

And an idiot she is not.

Bucky didn't know what to do. Even he knew there was no coming back from this. He was racking his brain, trying to think of what to say.

Nothing.

His mind was completely blank.

Natasha had never felt more awkward in her life. At least when in high school Elizabeth had never physically caught them red handed. She was face-to-face with the consequences of her actions. Immediately regretting even asking Bucky the proposition.

Elizabeth was broken out of her gaze. She stared between the two guilty parties, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Can't believe I was so stupid to think I was the only one. To think he actually changed," she thought.

Bucky opened his mouth about to say something, but he was cut off by

Elizabeth's hand.

"It's whatever Bucky," she shakes her head speaking first, "We weren't even exclusive. You can do whatever you want, with whomever you want. Single or not. You're good at that."

Elizabeth glanced back at Natasha, looking her up and down. She could never compete with someone like her, so she was done. Taking herself out of the equation.

"Excuse me," she politely says to Natasha who moves out of the way.

All Elizabeth wanted to do was go to her temporary room and be done for the day, for the weekend.

"Elizabeth," Bucky finally spoke up, his voice cracking, "Please let me explain."

Elizabeth didn't dare to make a move to turn around. She couldn't. Bucky didn't deserve that.

"I can't do this with you," she says, trying to control the tremble in her voice.

"Not again. This is it," she lastly said before walking to her room and closing the door.

"Bucky, I'm so sorry," Natasha apologized.

Bucky got a sense of Dejavú. Nothing really has changed the past year and a half.

"It's not your fault Natasha," he tells her, "This is all me. It never was and never will be your fault. I knew what I was doing, both times. This is all me and I have to deal with the consequences."

Before Natasha could speak they heard someone walking up the stairs. They looked over to see Steve come into view.

Bucky sighed. The last person he would want to see this, is the one that walks up. He already knew what Steve was going to say about it all. Steve won't admit it to Bucky, he knows how disappointed Steve is of him. In another way he didn't want to prove Steve right.

"Oh, hi Natasha," Steve surprisingly says.

"Hi," she awkwardly waved.

"Didn't know you would be here," he said, not giving Bucky his full attention.

"Yeah, I came with some of my sorority sisters."

"Oh, so you weren't invited," he side-eyed Bucky.

"No, just a coincidence," she cleared her throat.

"How perfect," Steve mumbled finally making eye contact with Bucky.

"Steve-"

"Where's Elizabeth?" Steve cut off Bucky.

"She went to her room," Bucky tells him.

"I'm assuming she saw this as well," Steve says waving his hand in between Natasha and Bucky. Natasha looked down and Bucky just nodded his head.

"You should go," Steve says looking first at Nat, then at Bucky, "Both of you." Natasha nodded her head, before slipping by Steve and down the stairs.

"If I could just explain what happened," Bucky pleaded.

"It's pretty clear as day what happened Buck," Steve harshly says, trying not to raise his voice, "Your hair, Nat's inside out shirt, an empty house. Come on Bucky, we're not fucking idiots."

"And with Natasha, again," Steve shakes his head, "There's nothing you could say that could fix all of this. Elizabeth gave you another chance, and you had sworn you weren't going to mess it up like last time. You had continuously said you were a changed man. Yet here we are in the exact same situation, we were in a year and a half ago."

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Bucky defended, "I had even ended it all with Nat. I swear. I was just as surprised as you were to see her here."

"Yeah, so surprised you decided to greet her with a fuck," Steve scoffed.

"Hey," Bucky raised his voice, pointing his finger at Steve, "That's not what that was. Natasha is not a 'fuck'. I care about her okay. I truly do."

"You sure have a great way of showing the women you love that you do."

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Bucky yelled, "You think I like doing this? You think I like treating Elizabeth or Nat like this? Fuck no. Do they deserve so much better than me. Yes. A million times yes. I don't know why I can't just fucking decide between the two of them."

"You really need to figure your shit out Buck, “Steve sighed, realizing arguing with Bucky isn't going to get anybody anywhere.

"We aren't kids anymore. You can't just keep going between Nat and Liz. You need to figure out what, who, you truly want to be. You can't keep being this person. I know you and I know you don't want to hurt anybody, but you are man."

"I just don't know what I want," Bucky confessed, shoulder slouching over defeated by all the pain and trouble he's caused those around him.

"Then take some time to figure it out," Steve says, "Work on yourself. More than just a year. Go see a therapist. There's only so much I can do to help. Once summer ends I'll be back in California. You also can't rely on others to get you out of your shit.

"You," Steve pokes Bucky's chest, "have got to want it. For yourself. Not for me. Not for your mom. Not for Natasha. Not even for Elizabeth."

Bucky nods his head, agreeing with everything Steve is saying. Really listening to his best friend.

"Buck, you do have to go though," Steve says softly placing his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"I know," he sighs, "I'll be gone in the next hour."

Both men hug before parting ways.

Steve softly knocks on Elizabeth's door. He doesn't hear an answer, he carefully opens the door peering in.

"Liz, it's Steve, can I come in?" He says looking over to where she was sat on a bed, her back facing him.

She nods her head, hoping he sees not trusting her own voice.

Steve quietly enters the room and closes the door behind him, before going to sit next to Liz.

He quietly sat next to her, slowly putting his arm around her, bringing her close.

He knew that she was silently crying, and that all she wanted was silence.

All they could hear were the sounds of the fireworks going off outside. Steve looked up at the balcony doors facing them, and could see the sight of the colorful lights filling the darkening sky.

"Thanks," Elizabeth sniffled, lifter her head up, yet still avoiding eye contact with Steve.

Elizabeth couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the whole situation. She didn't want to bring any drama to this weekend, yet it some how followed her there.

"Anytime," Steve says, rubbing her back hoping she'll look at him, so he could get another confirmation that she was really okay.

"I'm such an idiot," she said, still focused on the balcony doors.

"No you're not," Steve says eyebrows furrowed from her response, "Bucky's the idiot. Not you."

"I am though," she finally turned her head towards him, making eye contact. Steve could see how her eyes were still glossy. He hated seeing her like this. It just made him want to go and punch Bucky in the face.

"Why did I think this time would be any different from last time?"

"Because Bucky swore to you that it was going to be," Steve tells her.

"Yeah, and like an idiot I believed him."

"If believing makes you an idiot then I must be one too, because I believed him as well," Steve tries to tell her, "We all thought things were different, even he did, but some people need more than a year to figure their shit out. And clearly Bucky needs that.

"And I'm not trying to defend him. That's the last thing I want to do. These are his own mistakes that he needs to fix himself. I just don't want you blaming yourself for something that had absolutely nothing to do with you."

"This is a reflection on James, not you," he tells her.

"Why did he have to do this again, with her of all people," Elizabeth's voice cracked, the tears beginning to fall down her face again.

There was no use in hiding the pain she was feeling. Bucky had once again broken her the only way he knew how.

"Honestly who the fuck knows," Steve says continuing to rub Elizabeth's back, "He doesn't even know, so that should be a clear indication that Bucky shouldn't be with anyone but himself."

"I will never be able to compete with someone like Natasha," she numbly says, staring back out the balcony doors, "I can't just take whatever I want with no care who gets hurt along the way. If that's who he really wants to be with, then we were never going to work. And I was still living in some damn fairytale to think everything would've been better this time around."

"And I think I'm more mad at myself," she says, "For allowing myself to fall back in love with him. When there were clearly so many signs that showed that he was hiding something the entire time. Like how could I be so naive to let this happen again. To let him break me again.

"I had been so happy before I came back home. I had felt like I was discovering who I'm supposed to be, and then I allow Bucky into this new chapter of my life. And he just goes and destroys that. And I let him. I let him affect me in such a way that I shouldn't have allowed him to. But yet here we are again, in the same position we were in a year and a half ago. But this time I have myself to blame. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

"Liz," Steve sympathetically says, unsure of what he could say.

"I know, I know, it's not my fault," she sighs, "Just let me wallow in my self pity for now."

"Okay," Steve said turning his head back towards the balcony doors to watch the fireworks.

They continued to watch the fireworks in silence.

"Shit," Elizabeth gasped startling Steve.

"What?" Steve asked grasping his chest from the slight jump scare.

"It's your birthday," she said.

"Yeah, you've already wished me a happy birthday," Steve said confused why she was bringing it up.

"No, I mean you're spending your birthday dealing with my shit, instead of out there, having fun, maybe on your way of getting laid," she rambled getting off of the bed.

"Liz calm down," Steve laughs staying seated on the bed reaching up and grabbing her hand to pull her back down to sit next to him.

"I'm ruining your birthday," she insists sitting back down.

"No you're not," he grins shaking his head, "Trust me. There's no place I'd rather be than here with one of my best friends."

He playfully nudged her shoulder with his. Elizabeth was confused why he was choosing her over actually having a good time. But one look at that beautiful smile of his showed her he was telling the truth.

"You're really going to choose me," Elizabeth said pointing at herself, "over birthday sex?"

Steve laughed out loud causing Elizabeth to join in.

"Trust me Liz, I was not planning on having any birthday sex this weekend," he assures her, "There's just too many people in the house for my comfort."

"Ah Stevie likes to be loud," she playfully joked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he joked back, not able to control the blush creeping on his cheeks.

"Well since you won't be getting laid, how about you open the present I got you," she says getting up to grab the gift bag.

"Liz, you really didn't have to," he says as she hands him the bag.

"Hush, it's your birthday, now open it," she sat back down next to him, giddy with anticipation.

Steve smiled back at Elizabeth, feeding off of her energy. He opened the bag to pull out a new leather bound sketchbook and a brand new set of pencils.

"The guy at the store said those were the best ones," she says, "If they're not what you want the gift receipt is in the bag."

"No, these are perfect," he looked back at her in awe of the thoughtful gift.

"Thank-you," he reached over to hug her.

"You're welcome," she said into his shoulder.

Elizabeth didn't mean to but she took a whiff and caught the amazing smell that is Steve Rogers, cedarwood with a hint of lavender. She closed her eyes tightening the embrace a little more.

Steve was doing the same thing, taking in Elizabeth's classic Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume. Her signature scent since freshman year of high school.

They slowly pulled apart, their faces inches from each other's, while they gazed into each other's eyes, as the fireworks went off in the background.

Steve's eyes flickered between Elizabeth's eyes and lips. He doesn't know what possessed him, but the next thing he knew was his lips on Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth was taken back at first, but then felt herself relaxing and kissing back.

It was almost like it was magnetic. Like they were destined to be kissing one another.

Steve quickly pulled away once the realization of what he was doing kicked in.

"I'm so sorry," he jumped off the bed, "I don't know what came over me. I definitely shouldn't have done that."

"Steve it's okay," Elizabeth stood up, trying to calm him down.

"No, it's not," he stressed pacing back and forth.

"Steve, I kissed you back," she tries to reason with him, "If I didn't want to kiss you, I would've pulled away."

"But I still kissed you. After all you've been through today, I should not have done that."

"Steve, if you're insinuating that you took advantage of the situation, you didn't," she tells him, "We were both caught up in the moment. If you hadn't kissed me first, I'm sure I would've done it."

"This was not how I wanted this to happen," Steve mumbled quietly.

"Have what happen like this?" Elizabeth asked, confused,

"I-," Steve paused, unsure of how he should say what he's been feeling these last couple of months.

"Steve?" Elizabeth quietly calls out.

"I-," Steve takes a deep breath and release, "Please don't let what I say ruin our friendship. Please know that this wasn't something I ever expected to happen."

"Okay," she nodded her head letting him continue.

"For the last couple of months, I might've started developing feelings for you," he tells her.

"Oh," she said not expecting him to say that.

"Believe me, I never planned on saying anything," he tells her, "Not when you and Buck had all this history. And most importantly not when you two decided to try again. This was a secret I was going to take to the grave with me."

"Why?" Elizabeth curiously asked.

"Because it's you, and there's Bucky."

"Not anymore," she says.

"What?" He asked taken back.

"There was Bucky. Emphasis on the was," she says grabbing his hands, "Bucky and I are done. For good. We shouldn't have even tried again."

Steve looked down at their entwined hands.

"I'm not saying we have to do anything now," she says causing Steve to snap his head back to her face, "I'm going to need some time to get over all this mess."

"Wait, what are you saying?" Steve asked confused out of his mind.

"I'm saying that I've kind of had a secret crush on you as well," she confessed,

"Since Loki's party to be more precise."

"Oh," Steve says stunned by the revelation.

"Yeah, but for the same reason you kept your's a secret, I kept mine. But he's not in the picture anymore."

"But I can't jump into this," she says, "Now with you of all people, because I don't want you to think you're just some second place prize. Cause you're not.

"You're my best friend. First and foremost. And I can't ruin that by rushing this. My heart still needs to mend from the damage Bucky has done. My mind needs to mend."

"I wouldn't want us to rush it as well," Steve agrees.

"I 100% understand it wouldn't feel right when you're not mentally into it. Not when your mind is elsewhere."

"I also don't want you to feel like you have to wait for me as well," she says, "because I don't know how long I'm going to need."

"Also I don't want you to feel like you have to be with me," Steve adds, "If you decide whenever you're ready to be with someone you won't hurt my feelings if you decide it's not with me. I'm a grown up, I can handle the truth."

"Okay," she let go on his hands and took a step back.

She held out her right hand, "You've got a deal."

Steve lets out a soft laugh and shook Elizabeth's hand, "Deal." ________________

The next morning everyone was lounging around. Tired from last night's festivities. Wanda and Elizabeth were lounging in the back drinking their coffee waiting for brunch to be ready.

"So are you going to tell me what really happened last night?" Wanda asked taking a sip from her mug.

"I did tell you the truth."

"Bull," Wanda said, "Did Bucky really have a family emergency?"

"That's what he said," Elizabeth shrugged.

"You're really not going to tell me what happened?"

"No, not yet," Elizabeth says, "All you need to know is that Bucky and I are officially done. And he had to leave early."

"Are you okay?'

"Currently?" Elizabeth ponders, "No. I just want to put it in the back of my mind for the rest of the weekend. I just want to enjoy this. Once I'm back to reality I'm sure I'll have another good cry.

"Then I'm sure I'll be ready to tell you everything that happened las tonight. But for now let's not even think about that."

"Whatever you say," Wanda said, taking another sip of her coffee watching Elizabeth closely.

Wanda wanted to keep asking questions but she knew Elizabeth's plan was probably for the better let her have her last two days of peace, because come Monday once Elizabeth is back in Brooklyn that'll all be out the window. And Wanda will be there to help pick up the pieces. __________________

Wanda was right. That Monday afternoon as they got back to the Sanchez house, Elizabeth let all her built up emotions out. She told Wanda everything that happened, even the kiss with Steve. Elizabeth expressed her confusion over everything. Wanda assured her that she didn't have to worry about anything or anybody but herself.

So that's what Elizabeth did.

A week after everything had happened Bucky tried to talk to Elizabeth.

"Bucky, I get that you're sorry about what had happened," Elizabeth said as they stood outside on her front porch.

"But as much as I love you and as much as I want to try and put this behind us, I can't," she told him, "You've done this to me two times already, and I can't do this with you again."

"No matter what you say, nothing is going to change my mind," she explained to him, "As much as I want to forgive you again and try and get pass this, I just can't put myself through all this again.

"I loved you with all of me and you destroyed that, twice. I won't let that happen again. I can't go through this again. All you know how to do is hurt me more than anyone else has ever done. I need to protect myself and to do that I can't be with you."

Bucky stared at the broken girl in front of him and nodded his head admitting defeat. He knew what she was saying all true, and there was no coming back from it. He made their kingdom fall apart and he had to live with the consequences from that.

That summer she spent most of her free time to herself. She would also see Steve once a week, they didn't classify those hangouts as dates since they were not going to rush anything.

At the beginning of August, Elizabeth went to go spend a week in Boston with Wanda and her family. It was a nice getaway from Brooklyn.

Once she was back she had two weeks before she moved back to California for the new school year. She was very excited to get back to her life there.

New York had officially destroyed her.

Elizabeth and Wanda got back to California a week before class had officially started. They spent that week unpacking and setting up their new apartment.

Once school had begun any chance of a social life kind of went out the window. Elizabeth threw herself into her school books. She would occasionally find herself being a third wheel now that Wanda and Thor were official. Loki also wasn't throwing as many parties as he used to because he was focused on graduating top of his class that year. On top of applying to the most prestigious law schools in the country.

Elizabeth did find herself lonely sometimes. Those around her had all mysteriously been paired off.

One three day weekend Elizabeth had the apartment to herself Wanda had gone off to Malibu with Thor, who had found a job in LA.

The dread of loneliness was overwhelming. So she found herself inviting Steve to stay the weekend, as friends of course. Steve did not hesitate to accept the offer. That Friday night he was sitting in Elizabeth's living room.

"What do you feel like eating?" Elizabeth asked Steve handing him some takeout menus.

"Lets go for this Italian place you're always raving about," he says handing her the takeout menu for the little mom and pop eatery.

"You're going to love this!" Elizabeth grinned with giddy.

__________

After dinner Elizabeth and Steve were sat on the floor of the living room, laughing and just enjoying each other's company.

"Remember in the seventh grad that horrible haircut you got the day before picture day," Elizabeth laughed leaning into Steve's left side.

"No, lets not remember that!" he laughed, "I can't believe my dad did that to me. My mom was so mad he did that."

"The fact that that's the photo your dad keeps in his wallet makes it even funnier."

"Hey at least you weren't brace face," she tells him.

There was a pregnant pause of comfortable silence.

"Thanks," Elizabeth quietly said.

"For?" Steve asked confused.

"Coming this weekend," she says, "And for being patient."

"Patient?"

"You know with everything," she awkwardly says playing with her fingers.

It clicked in Steve's head what Elizabeth meant.

"You definitely don't need to thank me for that," he tells her, "Plus like I said three months ago, it wouldn't have felt right, not after what had happened."

"I know," she says suddenly feeling insecure about herself, "I just don't understand why you would even want to wait for me."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked confused why she would even say that.

"I mean look at me," she says signaling to herself causing Steve to shake his head.

"I'm no Natasha," she timidly says, "I'm not bold like her. Or confident, or sexy."

"Stop," Steve sternly said, grabbing her face to look at his, "Do not and I repeat, do not compare yourself to Natasha Romanoff. Because you would win in a landslide."

"Please," she scoffed, trying to turn her head away but Steve wouldn't let her.

"Elizabeth Sanchez, you are the most smartest, kindest, sexiest person I have ever known. And the fact that you have no clue that you are just makes you even that more amazing. You don't think you're better than anyone else.

"You have never once looked down on others. You are the first person to reach out to someone in need, never expecting anything in return. You're right, you are no Natasha Romanoff, because you're a million times better."

Elizabeth had tears streaming down her face, completely stunned by Steve's words. she's never heard anyone speak about her in that light. She did the only thing she could think of to do. She closed the space between them, pressing her lips against his.

Steve was taken back at first, but quickly reciprocated the kiss.

They both slowly pulled apart.

"You didn't have to do that," Steve whispered.

"I know, but I wanted to. I've wanted to since your birthday, after we first kissed," Elizabeth confessed, "And it's the best way I could think of to thank you for those kind words. Over the last few months, you've just been my rock.

"I didn't think I would ever feel that way again. Not after everything. My self esteem really took a massive hit. And you've helped me rebuild that, just by being my friend. Listening whenever I I needed someone to vent to.

"You've never made me feel foolish about my feelings. You always make me see the good things in myself, as crazy as that might sound."

"So what does this exactly mean for us?" Steve askes pointing in between them.

"It means," she says reaching for his hands, "I'm ready to give us a try."

"Are you sure?" Steve asks her, trying to maintain his excitement.

"Incredibly sure," she smiles.

"Then I guess we're really doing this thing," he smiled, leaning in closer.

"I guess we are," she leaned in, closing the gap between them.

[jobean12-blog]

Good morning Jo! I was wondering if I could send in a request - I received embarrassment today. I was wondering if you could write Bucky x overweight!reader, she keeps losing her bladder each time she sneezes or coughs because of her weight and some asshole agents announce it in front of the whole team, embarassing her. Bucky reassures her that it's completely okay and nothing to be ashamed of? Hope this made sense! Thank you so much and wish you a beautiful day ❤

Human After All

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,185

Summary: You and Bucky have been training together for some time and it’s clear you both like each other, what happens when some asshole agents say the wrong thing and Bucky hears it...

Author’s Note: Hello my sweet anon! Thanks so much for this request and I’m so very very sorry to hear that anyone would be unkind ever and especially over something like this. Everyone, and I mean everyone has had a situation like this happen to them at least once...pees, farts, burps, us girls with period stuff! It’s just the human body and the way things work! I do hope this makes you smile and thanks for your patience! Have a beautiful day! Thank you all for reading and much love always ❤❤❤

Warnings: Fluff, sweet and soft Bucky, flirting fun, protective Bucky! and some angst but Bucky fixes it all, don’t worry :) and hopefully you giggle at his story! 

“Come on, doll, punch it like you mean it,” Bucky urges, standing on the other side of the bag with a determined look. Setting your stance and pulling back you land a string of solid punches that has Bucky yelling with pride. “There she is! Nice work! Keep that up and no one will be messin’ with ya’!” Letting out a deep breath you grab your water bottle and take a long drink. “Thanks Buck, you’re the best.”

The two of you have been training together since you started with the avengers and it was clear you had fallen for the super soldier. He seemed to reciprocate your feelings, always flirting but very much a gentleman.  You loved training with him because he pushed you both physically and mentally and never made you feel like you couldn’t handle whatever he threw at you.

“What are we gonna work on next?” you ask while the two of you wipe down and clean up the equipment. “I’m thinking we might want to take it to the ground, you know work on some techniques in case you get taken down at any point.” Nodding excitedly, you try to hide your blush at the thought of rolling around on the floor with him. “Sounds great!”

Once everything is cleaned you head out together. A few agents are coming in as you two are leaving and just as you’re about to say hi you stop dead and place your finger under your nose, trying to stifle a sneeze. It only works for a second and then the sneeze overtakes you. You cover your mouth and squeeze your legs, saying ‘excuse me.”

Bucky smiles your way with a “bless you,” but quickly turns away when he hears the snickers of the other agents. You can feel the tears start to blur your vision and you try to hold it together. “Oh no, did you wet your pants again!” one of them says snidely, narrowing his eyes. “Oh god, we better get out of here before she pees on the floor,” the second one remarks, giving you a dirty look.

Before you have a chance to defend yourself you hear Bucky’s low growl and his heavy footsteps as he stalks toward the two of them. “What they fuck did you just say to her?” he seethes, his metal finger pointing at the first guy. He backs himself up into the wall with his hands up, looking like he might pee his pants himself.

“Uhhh, nothing, nothing. I was talking to her,” he says, pointing to his friend. He turns his deadly glare her way, “I hear you say something too. Stop lying to my face.” The two of them are now shoulder to shoulder and wide eyed. You’re watching the whole thing and both falling more in love with him but also wanting to run and hide.

“Bucky, it’s ok. They aren’t worth it. Come on.” He ignores you for the moment, getting in their faces, “I swear, if I ever hear you say another word to her that isn’t something nice you’ll be off his team and you’ll have to deal with me. No one speaks to her that way.” They shake their heads up and down mumbling apologies over and over as they back away. “Sorry, so sorry, we didn’t mean it. We promise it won’t happen again.”

Bucky takes a step toward them and they run half up the steps. “It better not, or else!” They run off and Bucky turns to you, immediately softening as soon as he sees your face and the fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “Oh doll, come here.” He holds out his arms as he walks toward you, wrapping you up tight when you meet his chest. “It’s ok. They are assholes. I’m sorry they said that to you.”

He continues rubbing your back soothingly and gently rocking back and forth until you calm down. When you can finally speak you look up into his eyes, “thank you. I’m just so ashamed.” He smooths the hair from your face and brushes his fingers over your jaw. “Nothing to be ashamed about beautiful, it happens!!! Actually, I have a really funny story that’s kind of similar, if you’re up for a laugh.” Finding your smile once again you say, “I’d love to hear it.”  He takes your hand as you walk together up the steps and out of the gym.

“So, one-time Steve and I were on this double date at the diner. We had just finished eating and Steve and I were really having a good time teasing each other and telling old stories. Well, Steve really got me going with one and I was laughing so hard I let out a loud fart. And I don’t mean the kind you can cover up. It was bad. Needless to say, we never saw those girls again and I’m pretty sure Steve brings it up the story any chance he gets.”

You’re just staring at Bucky and he starts to get nervous, his smile turning down into a frown. “I know it’s not exactly the same and no one made fun of me for it except Steve, but I just thought it would make you smile. Our bodies do this kind of stuff, it’s totally normal.” He’s talking a mile a minute and really getting panicked. You hold it back as long as you can but finally let out the loudest cackle, clutching your stomach and bending over.

“Oh my god! I would have LOVED to see that.” You try to stop laughing but the second you do and look at him you start all over again. When you finally get ahold of yourself Bucky has a devious grin and you suddenly feel like you’re in big trouble. “Oh, so you do think it’s funny huh. Just wanted to see me sweat?” he croons, lifting his hands and inching closer. “I’m glad I could make you laugh.”

Without another word his fingers are at your sides and he’s tickling you mercilessly. “I love making you laugh,” he says, dropping you to the floor carefully while continuing his tickle assault. “Bucky, please,” you say between fits of giggles, “you’re squishing me.”

He relents and pulls his hands away and you quickly realize the position you’re in. “Hi,” you breathe out, his face now inches from yours. “Hey,” he says back, smiling soft before his eyes dip to your lips. His own meet yours in a soft kiss, tentative at first but when a moan leaves the back of your throat, he loses control and deepens it.

When you pull away for air, you’re both panting heavily. “Wow. I’m so glad we didn’t practice ground techniques yet. Now I can keep you here for a while.” This time you chase his lips and kiss him hard, grabbing hold of his hair and combing your fingers through it. “I don’t mind at all, but I have to admit, I’m really looking forward to the training, especially if we’re going to be in positions like this a lot.”

@aesthetical-bucky @bugsbucky @buckyandbowties @bucky-on-my-mind @book-dragon-13 @buckys-broody-muffin @buckys-minty-breath @buckys-henley @breezy1415 @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hawksmagnolia @hailmary-yramliah @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @kaosera @lorilane33 @lokilvrr @littleredstarfish @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @mushyjellybeans @marvelgirl7 @marvelandotherfandomimagines @nano--raptor @addikted-2-dopamine @randomfandompenguin @pinkdiamond1016 @sallycanwait68 @tuiccim @tales-of-spring @the-wayward-robot @yansi1923 @emilylyoness @imgaril-lindru @hopefuldreamers-world 

[saiyanprincessswanie]

Civil War - Brooklyn

Chapter 15 Tit-For-Tat

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

READ THE WARNINGS!!!

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Reader/Bucky Barnes, Reader/Brock Rumlow

Word Count: 6,405

Warnings: Non/Con, Rape, Forced Orgasm, Brief Flashbacks of Torture, Angst, Depression, Nightmares, Manipulation, PTSD, Physical Abuse, Gunshots, Minor Character Death, Explosions.

Summary: Recovering from her torture our reader struggles with some PTSD. With her mind scattered she comes back to one thing, Revenge. But when she seeks it will she be ready when the lies finally become truth? Someone from her past shows up unexpectedly turning everything she thought she knew upside down. Brock won’t give her up without a fight and will go through drastic measures to show her that she belongs to him.

A/N: Seriously read the warnings. It’s dark near the end and I don’t want anyone being triggered while reading this. I also want to apologize to my followers who have been waiting about 5 months for an update to this. Most know I have been dealing with health issues and trying to recover. Hopefully I can continue to update like I want. I’m wanting to wrap this story up in the next five chapters but we shall see.

Thank you to my beta reader @music-culture-mythology​ for always supporting me, helping me and being there for me. I know you are busy with college and I’m grateful you still make time for me.

Thank you @whimsicalrogers​ for the page breaks

kotyonok  - means kitten  

Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜

I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps or third party sites. If you see my work anywhere other than MY Tumblr or AO3 then it was stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission as this is MY work. 🚫🚫

Steve sat in the living room, shrouded in darkness, and sipping a glass of whiskey as he went over the events from a few days ago. They had a plan in place to take down Brock but once again he got away. How could it all go so horribly wrong so quickly? 

Brock had you, their girl, in his possession and who knew what lies he was feeding you at this very moment. They had been so close to having you back with them but now, it was like you had completely vanished. There had been no clues for them to follow so they could look for you. Steve drained his glass and slammed it down on the table. 

If they could just get you back, explain everything as Bucky said that they would do from the beginning, then maybe there was a chance to win you back over to their side. Yes, they have murdered people in the past but they would never kill those you loved. They were not the monsters that they were made out to be. Your father was family to them as he had taken both men in when they were young. The thought of you thinking they could murder him crushed both of them. 

Bucky walked into the room and could just make out Steve’s form pour himself another glass. He took the chair in front of his friend and sighed, “I left a message on Rhodey’s phone again. He still isn’t picking up when I call.”

“Well ain’t that fucking great.” Steve took a swig. Tony would be the key to reeling you in at this point and if they couldn’t get into contact with him, they knew you would be lost to them.

“Look, Steve, Stark is probably laying low for a reason. There is no doubt in my mind that he will want his revenge on Brock when the time is right. I mean he hated Brock more than us. We just need to keep our people out looking for any signs of Hydra.” 

Steve ran a hand over his face and sighed, “We fucked up. We’re the reason she’s in this mess in the first place. The reason she was tortured by that maniac Zemo. I swear to god I will tear this whole state apart to find her.”

Bucky leaned forward in his chair, resting his arms on his knees. “So far we have Natasha and Clint on our side. Even though Thor and Loki helped with our search earlier they won’t act further without Stark.”

Steve nodded his head. Thankfully they had a few families backing their cause against Hydra, but, they were still missing some crucial key players. 

Bucky continued, “Quill and his crew can’t be reached. I heard they went underground when Thanos killed half of their families over a decade ago. If we could locate Stark we will have the numbers.” 

Steve looked at his friend. “First, we need weapons. Let’s get a count at the warehouse and see if we need to restock. Then I will try Rhodey's cell phone again. If anyone knows where Tony is, it’s him.”

The warmth was something your body craved as you woke around midnight in the oversized bed at Brock’s mansion. You had awoken, chilled to the bone because of a nightmare from your torture. Quickly you pulled the covers off and walked to the master bathroom where you ran a hot bath.

Brock had rescued you a week ago from a nightmare that you never thought you would be able to leave. He had brought you to a hospital to be looked over. The nurses attended to all the wounds they saw on the outside while the doctors prescribed medication to help with the pain. As for your mental health, well that would take some time. You didn’t want any pain medication as you didn’t want to be in a daze. The injuries, the pain, kept your mind focused. It was a reminder of what you had to do once you were healed. Revenge.

Afterward, he brought you back to the safety of his house and let you shower in peace. You had climbed into bed to rest and had drifted off. The bedroom was your sanctuary and you had refused many times to leave it when Brock asked you to come downstairs to eat. Thankfully, he would bring your meals to you and leave. He had confirmed to you that Tony was indeed dead on one particular night that you asked. The grief was raw just like your trauma. You felt lost and angry that you never got to say goodbye. 

You stripped out of your clean clothes and stepped into the tub. The warmth washed over your bruised skin as you sunk into the tub. Your eyes closed as you tried to process everything you have been through. 

Soft kisses along your neck make way to gentle caresses down your body. Firm thrusts within you had you moaning in pleasure as Bucky and Steve each took you apart. 

The time with them was a lie a voice says in your head. They made you into a fool, their whore. They only wanted your territory and to run the family business. You were a pawn in their game of chess. 

Your mind cuts to you holding Tony’s bloodied body as he calls out the name of his shooter ‘Steve.’ You last saw Tony alive in the hospital fighting for his life. But now he is gone. You never got to say goodbye to the only person that mattered. They had taken Tony from you.

Shaking that thought away, you sighed as you sank lower into the warm water. Soft sounds from a dripping faucet echoed loudly throughout the room causing your mind to pull you back to that filthy, cold room. 

Darkness is what you saw behind exhausted eyes. Just when you would close them, maybe for good, a jolt would wake you and his face would be there to haunt you. 

Zemo… “kotyonok, I’m not done with you yet,” his voice frightened you, cursed you.  His torture was constant and so many times you begged for your death. But, he would give you no reprieve. 

“Sweetheart, the water is cold. You’re shivering, let me help you out.” A deep voice cut through your dark thoughts, causing you to jolt. 

You hadn’t realized that your body had become chilled. How long were you in the tub? With the conditions you grew accustomed to over two months, the cold was something you learned to accept to survive.

Your head tilted back and you locked eyes with a pair of dark brown ones. Your savior from the hell you were in, Brock, was kneeling next to the tub with a towel in hand. He smiled softly as you shakily stood and let him wrap you in the warm oversized towel. 

Brock lightly put his arm around you as you limped to his bedroom. It was dark out and the lights in the room were soft compared to the harsher ones you were used to.

Your mind was distant as you dried your body off with the towel. Brock walked over and handed you shorts and a t-shirt. As soon as you changed you sat on the edge of the bed still staring off into the distance.

Grief coursed through your veins as you tried to push the pain deep down inside you. Show no weakness to anyone. This did not break you… Loudly those phrases rang inside your head.

Lips softly touched your forehead, snapping you out of your trance and you watched as he pulled back from you. “I know you are still scared and unsure about everything that’s going on. So I will leave you here, while I take the spare bedroom. If you need me I will be next door.”

You watched as he turned to leave and your hand grabbed his wrist, halting his movement. “Brock… Can you stay? I...I just don’t want to be alone tonight.” Your eyes looked up to his face and you could see he was surprised by your request. 

“Are you sure sweetheart? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with everything you have been through.” He knelt in front of you, resting his hands on your thighs, and watched as you bit your lip.

Nodding your head, your hands gently grabbed his. “I’m sure, I would feel safer if you stayed.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you. You are safe with me, in my home.” He stood and went to one side of the bed and climbed in.

You pushed yourself up the bed as Brock grabbed the covers you had pushed down earlier and pulled them up over you both. The bed was soft against your sore, abused body. It was a welcoming comfort from the cruelty of that hook you hung from every day. 

The light was turned off by Brock and you started to shake in fear. The darkness was haunting, cruel things were done when the lights went out. You didn’t realize you had moved closer to him until you felt his toned arm wrap around you. 

“Easy sweetheart, I’m here. Nothing is going to harm you.” As your eyes adjusted you noticed the moon shone through the windows, giving some kind of light within the bedroom. His hand softly caressed your arm as you laid your head on his chest.

This felt different than what you were used to with Steve and Bucky. Brock was built like the guys but there was something about being here in his bed that made you uneasy. It may be from everything you went through or it could be that this was wrong. Though Brock had proven to be the one telling the truth all along. Maybe this is where you were truly meant to be. 

All you knew for certain was this assignment from the FBI to take down Hydra was a sham. There was no way you could go back to Steve and Bucky. Not after the lies and murders. They were going to answer for their crimes against you and your family. Your eyes grew heavy from exhaustion and you could feel yourself about to drift off. The last thing you thought of was hell was going to rain down upon them but first, you were going to take everything away from them.

You woke early thanks to the nightmares that continued to plague your mind. Brock had comforted you to the best of his ability with gentle caresses and soft words of comfort. 

A buzz on his phone caught his attention as he pulled away from you. Untangling himself from your limbs he got up to take a phone call. With him up for the day, you decided to shower and change.

Your mind was processing and planning what you had in store for Bucky and Steve. Hitting their major warehouses would debilitate their operations. Did you want to see them be brought down a level? Absolutely. The thought of watching them flee and scramble for weapons brought a smile to your face.

Dressed for the day you headed out of the room to see where Brock was. As you made your way down the hall hushed voices spoke behind a door that led into a room you'd never been in before. Slowly you walked to the door, trying to hear what was being said.

“I expect that you get everything under your control soon Brock. We need to take control of the territories soon. It’s bad enough I had Fury sniffing around Shield before he disappeared. Hydra will rise but unless you do what you need to, you won’t be standing at the top leading it.”

“You worry too much Pierce. Things will work out the way we want.”  

What did that man mean by Brock had to do what was needed? As you tried to lean forward to see who this Pierce was the floor creaked under your feet. You quickly walked to the steps and headed downstairs to the kitchen in search of coffee. 

You poured yourself a cup trying to act as natural as possible. Looking out the window you took in the water. Whatever game Brock was playing you figured he would bring you in whenever he was ready to.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind, startling you, “Morning sweetheart. Sorry I had to get out of bed early on you. I had business to attend to.”

Glancing over your shoulder you smiled up at him. “No worries, I had to freshen up anyway before we got started with our plan.”

Brock gently turned you to face him, hands resting on your hips. “Someone is eager for revenge. Anyone ever told you that you are sexy when angry?”

A chuckle left your lips. Of course, you have been told that but he didn’t need to know it was from your former lovers. “You are the first Brock. Most men don’t like the mean side of me.”

Slowly his fingers traveled from your hips to under the hem of your shirt. Fingertips lightly run across your skin and he pulled you to his chest. “I love that spark within you as it ignites a fire within me. Together we will burn this city to the ground.” He crashed his lips against yours taking you off guard. The kiss is possessive and greedy as his hold on you grows firmer. You let him dominate the kiss even though you wanted to pull away. 

He leaned away reluctantly, “Maybe later when this is all done we can finally celebrate the right way.” You knew what he meant, sex, but your mind wasn’t ready for it. The thought of rolling around in bed with him made your skin crawl. How could you be intimate with someone you thought was the enemy for so many years?

You smirked at his remarks, trying to blow off what he said, “Maybe.”

Brock grinned at you, “Oh, next time you try to snoop on business that doesn’t involve you there will be consequences.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Your voice never wavered as you spoke but you felt nervous.

Brock watched as you looked away from him. He leaned into your back and whispered, “That office is off-limits. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I do.” You spoke evenly trying to not show your fear. Curiosity plagued your mind over what he was hiding in that office. A part of you wanted to find what secrets were behind that closed door.

For now, your mind thinks of one thing only, revenge. You were going to burn everything to the ground and finally take back your city. 

Steve had hung up the phone as Bucky made his way into the warehouse office. Both men had been busy with meetings and phone calls. It had been over a week since their search for you began. The search had expanded outside of Brooklyn to the Bronx, Queens, and Manhattan. They were looking to expand the search east to Long Island but they knew it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Bucky walked over to the couch and plopped down. Just like Steve, he was tired from the lack of sleep he was getting every night. He was worried about you and wanted to find you sooner rather than later. Bucky closed his eyes and draped an arm over them to block out the light from above. His eyes were not even closed for a full two minutes when Steve’s phone was ringing.

Steve looked down at it to see Natasha was calling. As soon as he put her on speakerphone she started to talk frantically. “We have a problem, Cap. Two of our warehouses were just attacked.” 

Bucky sat up and walked over to the desk, “What do you mean attacked? Who would be stupid enough to hit our buildings?”

“Which buildings Natasha?” Steve ran a hand down his face in frustration.

“One at the docks and the other on the outskirts of town. Both buildings are up in flames. Clint and I are the docks. We barely got out before it blew.”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “We need to get down there.”

“I wouldn’t come down here. The fire department and cops are here. Clint and I will head to you. Do you know who would be stupid enough to hit your buildings?”

Steve knew exactly who was behind the buildings being hit and by the look Bucky gave him, his friend knew as well. “Nat try to see if anyone made it out of the other building. We will see you when you get here.” Steve hung up the phone and started to text Thor. “I will have Thor and Loki look at the other building.” The only people that knew of their warehouses would be those involved in their weapons and drug trades. Y/N would have this knowledge.

After texting Thor, Steve’ and Bucky’s phones both buzzed with a text message. It was from an unknown number. Clicking on it they both read the same message, “You destroyed everything my family built. Now I will repay the favor.”

Just then the power shut off, leaving both men in the dark. Before they could react, the windows shattered as Molotov cocktails were tossed into the building. As soon as they hit the floor, they exploded and fire broke out.

“Shit!” Bucky yelled as he dodged a second Molotov as they both rushed to the office door, the fire rapidly spreading up the walls. Steve is ahead of Bucky as they make their way into the large opening of the warehouse. The fire was everywhere as they continued running and coughing from the thick smoke. Finally, they reached the front door and rushed through it. Before they could get a few feet from the building they noticed Hydra men were surrounding them.

You watched as they coughed and took big gulps of fresh air. Their eyes looked around, taking in the Hydra men, and finally landing on you. There is confusion on their faces that quickly turned to anger as Brock made his way to your side.

“Isn’t it beautiful? Out of the fire, a Phoenix shall arise. People will tremble when they know I have taken down the feared Captain and Winter Soldier. The only question is do I kill you slowly or quickly for what you have done to me?”

The anger coursed through your veins as both men stood before you. Bucky took a step forward but stopped when you raised a gun at him. “Doll, whatever Brock has told you it’s a lie. We didn’t do what you think.”

Steve raised his hands, “He’s right if you would let us explain we have proof that Brock is lying. You should know we would never lie to you about this.”

A laugh escaped your lips. “You wouldn’t lie to me? But yet, that’s all you have done since you came back into my life. I trusted you, I loved both of you!” Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you tried to control your temper. You felt like your heart was breaking all over again. 

Brock touched your shoulder, causing you to look up at him, “Sweetheart, they are the enemy. Remember your task: they killed Tony and your father. Finish them and take back what is yours.” 

Bucky took two more steps forward and stopped as you faced him again. “Doll, please. He is the enemy. You should know better than to listen to his lies.”

Your arm shook as the gun felt heavier in your hand. Unsure of who to trust, you started to lower the weapon. It was a battle between your heart and your head. Maybe you just needed to hear them out?

Brock sighed as you dropped your gun to the ground, “I expected better of you sweetheart.” He grabbed you roughly by the upper arm and dragged you back to the SUV. Shouting over his shoulder, “Kill them.” 

The men that surrounded Bucky and Steve aimed as you screamed for them to stop. Your heart pounded in your chest as panic consumed you. The thought of losing them for good made you sick. This felt like a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from.

You tried to pull from Brock’s grasp as you pleaded for them to stop. Brock opened the door and just before he could shove you in, gunshots rang out. A scream tore through your throat as you closed your eyes, expecting the worst.

You opened your eyes slowly and watched as a couple of Brock’s men dropped to the ground, dead. Steve and Bucky were unharmed but looking past you. Glancing over your shoulder you saw Rhodey, Thor, Loki, and Tony standing there with guns in their hands. Tony looked livid as he stared down at you and Brock. You could see the tension between both men as your world started to spin on its axis and all you could do was spin with it. 

Tears fell from your eyes, “Tony?” Confusion and relief flooded your system as you realized he was standing there, very much alive.

Brock grabbed you harder and shoved you into the SUV as he followed you in. “Get us out of here.”

The driver peeled away from the men and the burning warehouse. You turned in your seat to observe out the back window, Tony yelling something as the SUV sped away. 

Hydra agents were locked in a firefight with Tony and the other men. You turned back around and looked at Brock. He was seething from the events that just unfolded.

Finding the courage, you spoke up. “I thought you said Tony was dead? I...I need to see him, pull over and let me out.”

Brock's jaw clenched, “We are not stopping.” 

“Brock just let me see…” 

A hard slap hit your cheek causing your head to snap to the side. He gripped your chin hard making you look into his eyes. “I said we are not stopping. We will discuss this when we get back to the house.”

He let go of your chin and shoved you away. How dare he strike you for wanting to see the person you thought was dead. Never had he been violent towards you until now.  

If you were in a better situation you would have hit him back. You clenched your fist as your mind tried to process everything that just happened. Helplessness washed over you as a sense of anguish grasped you by your throat, making it hard to breathe. 

There were so many questions that needed to be answered and at this rate you didn’t know who to ask. Lies poured from the mouths of those you trusted and at this rate you could only count on yourself.

With Tony being alive, that meant Brock had been lying to you as well. You needed to get into his office that was off-limits to see what he was hiding in there.

The drive went by quickly and the SUV pulled up in front of the house. Brock opened his door, “Do I need to drag you inside, or are you going to behave?”

You stared into his dark eyes, he was not happy. “I can behave.” You slid across the seat and got out on his side. He wrapped a hand around your arm as you both made your way into the house. 

Hydra men were scurrying around the house as he pulled you up the stairs, leading you to the bedroom. As soon as you reached the bedroom he pushed you inside. “Don’t leave this room.” 

There was no way you were going to sit in here with everything going on. You watched as he closed the door, leaving you on the bed alone. You approached the door and listened as he made his way downstairs. Something was going on and you were now more than ever determined to figure it out. 

The burner phone that Brock had given you earlier was still in your coat pocket. You reached in and pulled up your text messages. Typing quickly you texted Tony’s phone. “How are you alive?” You pressed send and within a minute he messaged back.

Tony: “I went into hiding once we found out what Brock was up to. Where are you? You aren’t safe with Brock.” 

Your stomach tensed at the last part. You typed back, “Somewhere on Manhasset Bay. Something is going on here, there are Hydra men everywhere.”

Tony: “I’m going to find you, kiddo. You need to know Steve did not shoot me, Brock did. If you can get out of that house safely then do so now.”

Quickly you stuffed the phone back in your pocket and pulled your boots off so you could walk quietly in the hallway. Slowly you turned the handle and peeked into the hallway. Thankfully it was empty as you made your way into the hallway. There were voices yelling downstairs. Brock was upset with someone. You reached the office doorway and glanced inside. No one was in there so you decided to sneak in.

Carefully you made your way over to the large oak desk. You started to pull out each drawer to look for anything that could be incriminating. Pushing files around, nothing stuck out to you. That was until you opened the middle drawer.

You pulled out a schedule and flipped it open. Inside were cargo schedules and what was inside each container. Pulling out your phone you took pictures of the pages. After several pictures of shipments and contacts, you went to put it back in the drawer. You watched as the photos slowly started to upload in the text you sent and you tucked the phone in your pocket, hoping they didn’t take too long to send.

You looked into the drawer and something caught your eye. As you laid the schedule down on the desk, a gasp caught in your throat. Reaching into the drawer you pulled out the ring that Zemo had taken from you. Tears welled in your eyes as your finger ran across the stones. You thought that the ring was long gone. 

The realization hit you like a bus. Brock had hired Zemo to kidnap you. All of the pain and torture you went through was because of him. So you wouldn’t get caught with it, you stuffed it into your pants pocket. 

“I see you don’t follow directions very well.” A familiar voice startled you, causing you to look up in shock. Before you stood Agent Jack Rollins, gun aimed at you, just inside the doorway. 

“Jack? You...You work for Hydra?” You raised your hands in defeat. 

A grin came across his face, “Of course I do. Did you honestly think Richards was the only mole inside of the FBI? Richards may have been in charge there but I was assigned to watch you. Now be a good girl and come out slowly from the desk. I don’t want to hurt you but I will.”

You did as he said and walked to him slowly. Jack moved the gun, signaling you to walk in front of him. With the gun at your back, you both made your way downstairs. Hydra men were staring at you both as you walked into the kitchen. The door leading to the garage was half-closed. That same guy, Pierce, was inside yelling at Brock. Jack pushed you into the garage, causing them to look at you.

“Found her in your office snooping around. I think she was taking photos of your paperwork.” Jack closed the door behind him as you stood before all three men. 

“This is the one that you are fussing about Brock?” Pierce stood in a well-tailored suit, studying you. 

Brock outstretched his hand, “Hand over your phone sweetheart.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I wasn’t doing anything…”

“Now sweetheart. I won’t ask again.” 

You reached into your pocket, grabbed your phone, and handed it over reluctantly. Brock snatched it from your hand and looked through it. “Christ, you took photos of the shipments.” Angry, he threw your phone across the room where it shattered against the wall. 

Pierce glared at you as he approached you. He pulled a gun from his holster and aimed it at your face. “You should have just killed the bitch as I ordered you to. She has caused too many issues just like the Captain and Winter Soldier.”

Brock drew his gun and aimed it at Pierce. “Drop the gun old man. I’m done taking orders from you.” 

You stood in shock as the barrel of the gun Pierce was holding hovered inches from your face. Death never looked so freeing and scary at the same time. Would Brock let him kill you? You almost wish he'd shoot you, if only to stop all of this torture.

“Brock, I know you can’t see it now but this is for your own good. You will thank me later when she is gone, you can just take over the territories without her.” Pierce grinned at you, “It’s nothing personal.”

Before Pierce could pull the trigger Brock shot him in the head. You screamed in horror as blood splattered on you and the older man fell dead at your feet. Over the years you have seen many people killed but to see Brock murder his boss terrified you. If he could do this with no remorse what could he do to you?

Jack opened the door and let a couple of Hydra men in. They brought in a tarp and rope to dispose of the body. Jack looked to Brock, “I will handle this if you need to attend to other business issues.” He briefly looked at you and smiled sinisterly. 

Other business? Panic set in, his gaze making your skin crawl. 

Nodding in agreement Brock grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into the house. He stopped just inside the living room as you wrenched your arm from his grasp.

His dark, haunting eyes stared down at you. “I’ve tried to be patient with you sweetheart. I tried to win you over but it seems that no matter what I do you are still just an ungrateful bitch.” 

On the last word, he punched you in the stomach, knocking the wind out of you. Before you could fall to your knees he grabbed you by your hair to steady you. Fear consumed you as his grip on you tightened. 

Your hands flew to where his hand clutched you. Trying to free yourself you kneed him in the stomach making him grunt in anger.

Another punch hit you in the stomach, harder this time, making you cry out in pain. Black spots danced across your vision as Brock picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. Nausea was radiating through you as he made his way up to the bedroom. 

“Put me down you son of a bitch.” You started to punch into his back as he made his way into his bedroom, shouting angrily. He dropped you onto the bed and slapped you hard across the face causing your head to snap to the side. Your cheek burned from where he hit you. Fear invaded your mind as you thought back to your torture from Zemo.

“You just had to text your dear brother those pictures.” You turned to see him pulling his suit coat off and throwing it on the ground. Pushing yourself to sit up on the bed, Brock hit you again, causing you to cry out in pain. “I told you there would be consequences if you went into that office.”

Your fingers touched your heated cheek as he stared you down. Quickly you sat up and lunged towards him, punching him in the face.

 “You’re a monster. I swear you will not get my family's territory or the backing of the other families. Now that Tony is alive he is probably rounding up Steve, Bucky, and the others to-”

His left hand grasped you around the neck and squeezed, choking you. Another slap then connected to your face, the sharp sting stunning you. Blurry dots danced in your vision as your back connected to the bed. Disoriented you felt him rip your pants and underwear off. 

Dazed, you punched and kicked at him as he towered over you but that just angered him more. No matter how many times your hits connected it did nothing to deter him from you.

“You are going to learn your place sweetheart.” Roughly he flipped you onto your stomach and pulled his tie off from around his neck. You made one last attempt to get away but he snatched your wrists and tied them firmly together at the small of your back. Large hands grabbed your hips and turned you over to your back. With your wrists pinned under you, the position had your arms aching. Anger and lust burned in his eyes as you tried to kick at him again. 

“We are going to do this properly this time. Last time you were unconscious in that townhouse. I like my woman with a fighting spirit so resist all you want. It just makes it more enjoyable for me.”

Your eyes grew big from what he said. He was the one to rape you? “Go fuck yourself! I will kill you for what you’ve done.” You thrashed against him but he pulled your hips to the edge of the bed where he stood.

“I wanted to have our first time be perfect but I deserve a reward for dealing with your shit.” He undid his zipper and pushed his pants halfway down his thighs. Spitting into his hand, he stroked his half-hard cock until he was hard. He wasn’t as large as Bucky and Steve but he was still well-endowed. 

You struggled against him as he pushed your thighs open, “Please Brock, don’t do this.” Fear raced through your head at the thought of what he was about to do. 

“Scream all you want, it’s music to my ears.” He lined his cock up to your unprepared cunt and thrust hard into you. The intrusion had you screaming out in pain. 

His hands pinned your hips to the bed as he took you hard. Every harsh roll of his hips had you crying out for him to stop. It was clear that he was loving this, the way that your pussy hugged his cock with every push and pull. This was your worst nightmare, being taken by the man you despised.

You closed your eyes as he fucked you with vigor, trying to make your mind think of anything else but this. The pain felt like he was ripping you apart and you whimpered with every snap of his hips. 

His right hand made its way between your bodies in search of your pearl. His thumb found its destination and rubbed tight circles around it in time to his thrusts. The pain slowly started to melt away as your body gave in to the pleasure he was giving you. A moan left your lips as he kept an even pace. You were mortified that you were enjoying yourself from this forced pleasure.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” Brock panted above you. Your eyes squeezed shut as you refused to do what he said, “I said look at me.” Another hard thrust had you opening your eyes unwillingly. “You’re mine, do you understand that? Answer me.”

You cried out unwillingly, “Yes,” as he continued to pound into your now wet channel. Shame clouded your mind at the thought of him claiming you, making you agree to be his.

His fingers worked your clit faster and you could feel your orgasm building. Tears welled in your eyes as you felt you were betraying Bucky and Steve. 

Brock grabbed your right leg and rested it on his shoulder. The change in position had him hitting your spot inside you. It was overwhelming, your body betrayed you as you fell off that edge and reluctantly moaned out your orgasm, hating every second.

As soon as your pussy tensed around him Brock groaned. “Music to my ears sweetheart.” You turned your head to the side refusing to watch him reach his release. 

He grabbed your chin, “Open your eyes, sweetheart.” As soon as you complied he gave a few more harsh thrusts, cumming deep inside of you and grunting out your name. A shudder of disgust traveled down your spine at the thought of his cum inside of you. 

He stilled inside you and watched as tears fell from your eyes. “You are mine now. You will learn to love and please me or I will take it by force.” He pulled out of you and some of his release spilled down your thighs onto the bedsheets.

“Once my cargo deal goes down we are leaving New York. We won’t have peace until we get you away from here. With Pierce out of the way, Jack is going to work on taking out your brother and those two assholes you love. Once they are dead we will come back to rule these cities together as man and wife.”

“I won’t help you rule anything. You might as well kill me now.” You spat out with anger.

“Don’t be like that sweetheart. Tonight we made some progress in starting a family. Who knows, maybe I fucked a child into you just now.” He tucked himself back into his pants. Roughly he turned you over and untied your wrists. “I have to make some phone calls. Make yourself comfortable because you are not leaving here anytime soon.” Brock turned and left the room, door locking behind him. 

You sat up on the bed and made your way to the bathroom to wash away the filth from Brock. For the first time in years, you felt helpless. With no phone, you weren’t sure how Tony was going to find you. Hopefully, the shipment schedule reached Tony before your phone was smashed as that would be one of the only leads for him to find you.

Next Chapter

[blue-writes-things]

We Don’t Have To Dance

Sirius Black x Wolfstar/Marauders (PLATONIC) | Angst (but a bit of fluff at the end)

“We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to dance, we don’t have to make friends”

| Masterlists |

Words: 2587 TW: Swearing, Alcohol (mentioned)The Prank (mentioned) the word hell is said a lot, yelling/ a fight/ a bit of blood, Walburga and Orion’s A+ parenting (aka mentions of abuse) anxiety A/N: First I’d like to say that this could be triggering, please read the TW and take care if you read, I just started writing and didn’t stop. 

Also this is kinda au(?¿?) where Sirius doesn’t run away to James’s house. ALSO there’s quite a few POV changes (sorry)

ALSO I used the song “We Don’t Have To Dance” by Andy Black (lol) as inspiration/prompts, the fic has pretty much nothing to do with what the song is about tho

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

-----------------------------

 Record scratch; Steve Miller Band Tattooed necks and tattooed hands

 Oh, how don't you drown in a rainstorm?

It was the first day back to school and the Gryffindors decided to throw a party for the older students, so once all the young ones were tucked up in bed, all the others placed silencing charms around the common room and got out all the drinks they had stolen from home.

*Remus’s POV*

Parties aren’t Remus’s thing but when the whole tower was loud and to make it to the hallway would mean weaving through people, and he really didn’t feel like doing that. And he couldn’t go to the dorms because Sirius was standing by the staircase, Remus could smell him the other side of the room with people in between, Remus used to love the smell of Sirius, cigarettes, candy, mint and wet dog, it was comforting, but now it just hurt, both from the event before the end of term and the undertones of Fresh regrets and vodka sweats.

The sun is down and we're bound to get Exhausted and so far from the shore

Remus had felt so awful the whole break, and but the looks of Sirius, he didn’t have a great time either ‘stop! He’s not a friend, I don't care about him anymore!’ he was pulled from his thoughts when a hand landed on his shoulder 

“MY MAIN MAN MOONY!” A slightly tipsy James, stood next to him, “Hey Prongs” Remus smiled, James started looking between Remus and Sirius, taking a deep breath,

 “Remus, I know you miss him, and I know you hate the fact you do” James said in his ear sobering up a little as the pair of them watched Sirius

He was leaning on the wall, a drink in hand, not talking to anyone, not dancing or laughing like he would normally be during these parties.

“Are you a mind reader James Potter?  I can’t believe you never told me!” He tried to deflect James, Remus really didn’t feel like talking about it right now, but James is stubborn, very stubborn

“Well maybe I am,” he chuckled “But you’re my best mate and I know you, and I know him”

“No, James, as I keep saying, we knew him, he betrayed me and I don’t think I could ever forgive him for that, and I don’t think I could forgive myself for the things I said to him, I know I was emotional but I stooped so low”

 *Flashback*

 Remus had been yelling at Sirius for what felt like hours, pacing around the Shrieking Shack. Sirius was standing as still as a statue, looking down, his arms around his middle like he had just been punched in the guy, Remus couldn’t see the tears on as his face was hidden by a curtain of hair, but being the day after a full moon his senses were still on overdrive.

Remus snapped his head to look at Sirius, he hadn’t moved a muscle since Remus started yelling, hadn’t said a word “Are you even listening to me! Do you even care!” Remus said walking over to him, Sirius didn’t respond, not even a nod.

He was listening to every word, each one felt like the knife had been pulled from Remus’s back and went straight to his heart, each syllable felt like someone twisted it. 

“You’re such a horrible person Black, you’re exactly like your family, don’t ever talk to me again, I hate you!”

Remus turned to leave but heard Sirius mumble to himself, so quietly that if Remus wasn’t a werewolf he wouldn’t have heard it,

“I know...”

All of Remus’s anger and hurt turned to complete rage and hatred, and he did something he thought he never would, that he promised Sirius he would never do. He turned on his heel and went back to the boy who still hadn’t moved, 

Putting his arms out he shoved Sirius’s chest who stumbled back and his eyes widened and he started breathing heavier, then Remus swung at him, punching him square in the nose knocking Sirius to the floor, Remus walked to the door his hand having a splatter of blood on it from Sirius’s nose.

“Your mother is finally going to be proud of you, you’ve really turned into the perfect heir for the noble and most ancient house of Black.”

And with that he left, not looking back, although he almost did when he heard Sirius’s screams and sobs. Nobody saw Sirius anywhere for three days. 

*Flashback over*

“Look, Rem, I know our group will never be the same, with or without Sirius, and we’ve all changed as people but I think” James paused for a second, to make sure he got his words right

“I think that life would be easier for everyone, if we could at least be civil with each other, and I know he’s been dying to apologize, well that’s what he said in his letter before he started sending my replies back unopened”

Remus frowned a bit at that last comment, but he was thinking about everything James said, how it would make life so much easier if he could at least say hello to him in the halls, or bare being in the same room as him. 

“I- I think that even though our friendship will never go back to where it was, I really do miss him.” Remus sighed looking back at Sirius who no longer had a drink but was fidgeting with his jumper sleeves.

“Ya know what? Fuck it I’m gonna say hello and make uncomfortable small talk” Remus grabbed James’s half full cup of some kind of alcohol and downed the whole thing, James had wide eyes and his jaw had dropped but he was still smiling 

“Atta’ boy!” James patted him on the shoulder as they went their separate ways. 

*Sirius’s POV*

 Sirius really didn’t want to be at the party, but it was better than being alone. Sirius couldn't stand being alone, never could, but now alone meant being stuck with his thoughts and that never led to anything good. 

He looked up from his sleeve to see Remus downing James’s drink and walking in his direction. That night in the shack clouding in his mind, and what replayed in his head when Remus hit him.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to distract his mind by focusing on the music.

“Hey, Padfoot” Remus stood in front of him, there was concern laced in Remus’s voice but Sirius didn’t know if his face mimicked it, he kept his head down. 

“Hello Remus,” He mumbled and said nothing more, thinking Remus was just moving past him “S-sorry am I in your way?” He stuttered and cursed himself for that, Mother always got mad when he stuttered. 

“Oh, uh, no,” Remus scratched the back of his head. “I came over to say hi?” The unsureality in his voice wasn’t very comforting.

“Oh”

Sirius didn’t know what to say, most of the holidays he spent planning a whole speech, with apologies and explanations and more apologies (and if he had a chance, chocolate) but now that whole thing just blanked in his mind. The fact Remus came to him and apparently just to say ‘hi’ through him off

“Sirius, are you ok?” Remus asked ‘Why did he have to be so caring! Merlin I’m such a fuck up, wait he asked something’

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m good, sorry I’m a bit past tipsy” he flashed him his most believable fake smile, but by the way Remus’s eyebrows raised he didn’t buy it. Remus could always see right through him.

“How was your break, Remus?” He was trying to be more animated, hiding his hurt, even though he knew Remus didn’t believe it for a breath 

“Yeah it was ok, after the full, me, ma and pa went to Wales to see family, was good to see ‘em again, ya know?” He smiled (internally face palming after he finished, knowing no Sirius didn’t know, and hated his family)

“That’s great! I hope the full went ok” at the mention of family he subconsciously shrunk into himself, as soon as he realised he straightened his back again. ‘Mother’s gonna make me balance books again, probably hexing me while she’s at it’

 “Yeah it wasn’t awful, wasn’t great either but ya know, how was your break?”

‘Think Sirius, think! you knew someone was going to ask you, why didn’t you think of something before’

“Yeah It was- it was good, got to annoy Kreature so that was fun” He grinned, yet Remus couldn’t see the spark that was normally there when he talked about annoying people at that house.

“Sirius,” Remus reached his hand out to touch his arm, he may not be friends with Sirius in the way they were, but he still cared about him and hated to think that something happened

But Sirius flinched his arm back, it was a reflex, and Remus looked taken aback, he looked in Remus’s eyes for the first time in months, the concern and worry (and hurt) in his eyes made Sirius look down again,

“Something's not right Sirius, what happened?”

“Nothing happened okay! Just leave it, please” All Sirius was thinking was ‘run, get away, run’

“No, ’m not going to leave it, I know something happened Sirius, I’m not stupid, let me help- ”

“Stop,” he snapped, interrupting him “Stop worrying, stop caring ok? I don’t need help, I’m fine. Just go enjoy the party, I’m going to bed.” 

He turned and ran up the stairs, glad he stood by them, he heard Remus call out to him but he just kept going to the dorm and sat on his bed, his leg started bouncing a million miles an hour, his body was a live wire in a puddle of anxiety, stress and fear.

He closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths to stop his tears. Mother always told him he wasn’t allowed to cry, he was thankful he could still hear some of the music so it wasn’t completely silent.

 Click The door opens

“Sirius” Remus’s soft voice calls from the door, Sirius desperately wants Remus to hug him and tell him everything is ok, that’s he’s safe, but he’s not, he’s never safe, and there’s no way Remus would hug him

“Sirius” he said again sitting down next to him, not right next to him, which Sirius was thankful for, but he also just wanted someone to be close to him “I get that opening up can be scary, I know it’s especially hard f’you, but maybe if you got it of your chest you might feel better?”

“No, there’s nothing to get off my chest I’m fine,” Sirius knew there was no actual point in lying about that, but he really didn’t want to talk “even if I wasn’t, I wouldn't want to be a burden”

“I get it, Padfoot, trust me I do-” But Sirius cut him off (again) losing his temper

“NO! You’re never gonna get it!” He jumped off the bed and started pacing “you don’t understand I'm a hazard to myself, I'll break it to you easy Remus, this is hell!” then he motioned to his head “this is hell.”

“Pads, please calm down”

“And you know what’s the worst part, I’m a hazard to everyone around me, everyone hates me and I know it, I know people talk about me. Even down at the party, you and James, you're looking and whispering, you think I'm someone else, you know what? Yeah I am! I’m not ‘Padfoot’ I’m not a marauder, I’m a coward who can’t keep his stupid mouth shut, and it gets others hurt, fuck I know I deserve all the shit Mother and Father did in the break, but you didn’t deserve to have me tell Severus!” Sirius finally took a deep breath wiping the stray tears away as fast as he could

“Sirius, I know James doesn’t hate you and I’m sure Peter doesn’t, I don’t hate you, yeah sure I’m a little hurt still, but I don’t and never could hate you. But pads, what did your parents do to you?” 

“What do you mean? Mother and Father didn’t do anything” Sirius’s heart rate picked up again

“You said you ‘deserve all the shit’ your parents did, what did they do?” Remus stood up and walked over to Sirius, very slowly and gently putting his hands on his shoulders, Sirius flinched a little but didn’t move away.

 “This is hell, yes.” Sirius mumbled “Literal hell.” 

Remus pulled him to his chest and hugged him, Sirius didn’t hug back but, again, didn’t pull away he rested his head on Remus’s chest and cried, the kind of crying where it hurts and you want to stop, you but can’t.

“Remus I can't take anymore, it hurts, but they don’t stop, I have to learn, I have to listen. I am in hell.”

The boys move to Remus’s bed, and they lay down together, Sirius curled on Remus’s chest to listen to his heart beat, and he tells him everything. From his parents abuse, the cellar, when James stopped replying (Which Remus explained that James just kept getting his letters back unopened and they realised it was his Walbaura not giving them to him)

And Remus was right, it did feel better to get it off his chest, and to cry, and for someone to be close to him and not be hurting him, Sirius and Remus’s friendship still had healing to do, as did Sirius’s with the other marauders.

Sirius had calmed down, a new song started playing and he grinned a little “Why are you smiling?” Remus said into his hair “This is my favourite song” 

“Well, the party’s going to end in a few hours, why don’t we go down? Just for a bit, you can say hi to James and Pete?”

Sirius stiffened “Remus, I don’t know if I can do the whole faking smiles and confidence, I don’t think I can make small talk, and be at a party, and face people who probably don’t want to talk to me, let alone make friends with me”

Remus smiled comfortingly at him “We don't have to talk, we don't have to dance, we don't have to smile, we don't have to make friends, we can just stand near the stairs and watch them be drunk idiots? We can come back up here if it’s too much”

Sirius thought for a moment “Ok” he got off Remus and headed to the door but he stopped when he was about to open it

“We don’t have to talk, dance, smile or make friends, I promise” Remus put his hand on the others shoulder, Sirius nodded opening the door, Remus right next to them, he was just repeating in his mind

‘We don't have to talk, We don't have to dance, We don't have to dance, We don't have to talk, We don't have to talk, We don't have to dance, We don't have to talk, talk, talk, We don't have to dance, We don't have to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk’

But Sirius not only talked to James and Peter, but they all danced together like they did when they were all friends. There was still healing to do but by the end of the night they had all made friends again.

Tag List: @theravenclawgal

I have no clue what this is ~blue

[buckybeardreams]

Unwanted

Chapters: 3/11

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Brock Rumlow, James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Harley Keener

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Steve Rogers, Omega Tony Stark, Service Top, Dominant Bottom, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Virgin Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Romantic Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, First Meetings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sappy, Romantic Fluff, Awkwardness, Drinking to Cope, Self-Worth Issues, Insecure Tony Stark, Insecure Steve Rogers, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Age Difference, Harley Keener is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Claiming, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Non-Explicit Sex, Light Dom/sub, Mutual Masturbation, Coming Untouched, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000

Series: Part 1 of Second Chances

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11

Can also be read here

Summary:

Steve is a soft Alpha and Tony is an in charge kind of Omega with no desire to find a mate. He doesn't want to find his soulmate and when he does meet Steve he's determined to stay away from him.

That is until he realizes just how right they are for each other.

Words: 1355

Tony was avoiding Brock, even though he knew his best friend was hurt because of it. He knew that Brock wanted him to like his Alpha, but Tony had no interest in getting to know Sam. He also knew he was being rude, but he really didn't care. He was hurt and pissed off and hated Alphas more now than ever.

Of course it would be that night, as Tony's mind was filled with thoughts of how much he absolutely hated Alphas and how undeserving of love and happiness he was, that his soulmate would walk into the bar. Tony didn't notice him at first, too busy stewing in his self-loathing thoughts. Clint snapped his fingers in front of Tony's face to grab his attention.

Steve was seated at a table, but his eyes had been drawn to the Omega sitting up on the bar, a pout on his lips and his eyes narrowed as he stared down at his lap. He looked grumpy and upset about something and Steve wanted to make him smile. He lit up with a grin when the tiny Omega hopped down from the bar and headed in his direction. Tony was not nearly as pleased to be heading towards the Alpha as Steve was to have him coming closer, but he plastered on a smile and looked up, ready to greet him and get his order.

Just like that both of their lives were flipped upside down. Suddenly, the only thing that mattered to Steve was the dark-eyed beauty staring at him, wide eyed and shocked. Steve's eyes shined with hope and his grin turned stupid and dopey, like some lovesick fool. Tony's eyes raked up and down the Alpha. He looked like a Greek god with his impressive physique and his perfect features and his gorgeous blue eyes that Tony wanted to get lost in.

"Don't just stand there, Anthony!" Obie snapped.

Great, just what Tony needed, his asshole boss to show up and give him a god awful headache. He was stressed out enough without having to deal with the owner of this shit bar. Actually, that wasn't fair, the bar wasn't that bad. Obie though, he was a real piece of work. The worst kind of Alpha really. Entitled, arrogant, and as intolerable as he was intolerant. Tony's mood instantly soured. Steve saw his soulmate's distress flash through his eyes and growled at the man causing it. Obie's eyes widened and he rushed to apologize, not to Tony, but to his customer.

"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Anthony here was just about to take your order," Obie said in a too polite way that made Steve feel sick. "Go on, Anthony, don't make the customer wait."

Tony put on his best customer service smile, even though it's the last thing he wanted to do. He didn't want to pretend to be happy, not for this Alpha that was supposed to be the love of his life.

"Of course! What can I get you today, sir?" Tony said in a fake cheery voice, cringing internally at having to call this Alpha, his Alpha, sir.

They both relaxed when Obie walked away.

"He seems like an asshole." Steve frowned in Obie's direction. "You shouldn't have to put up with that shit."

Tony was instantly irritated, even if a part of him wanted to swoon at the protective Alpha.

"Yeah, well, I don't need you rushing in to save the day. I can take care of myself just fine, thank you very much," Tony snipped.

Steve blinked at him before smiling softly.

"I'm sure you can, sweetheart."

Tony narrowed his eyes at the endearment, ignoring the way his heart started to race in his chest and his palms started to sweat. He wasn't going to fall for this Alpha. He wasn't. He was going to be polite though, so his boss didn't have another reason to yell at him.

"Would you like a minute to decide what you want?" Tony said in that fake cheery tone.

Steve shook his head.

"No, I'll just take a cheeseburger."

"Coming right up." Tony's smile dropped the moment he turned away.

He was grumbling about insufferable Alphas that think way too highly of themselves when he handed off his order to Bucky. Bucky flinched slightly away from the pissed off Omega and his grumbling, not that it was directed at him, but Bucky was an Alpha. Tony mumbled a half assed apology, smiled half heartedly and headed into the back room to take his break.

Steve tried not to be put off by their first encounter, convincing himself that his Omega was just stressed out and was also trying to be professional. Steve didn't try to flirt with him or anything, but he did blush when Tony brought him his food. His Omega was serving him, a thought that displeased Tony. Steve wasn't exactly thrilled by it either. He didn't hate it the way Tony did, but it did make him slightly uncomfortable. Steve would much rather serve his Omega. He should be the one bringing his Omega food, not the other way around. He should be making him breakfast in bed after a night of passionate lovemaking. Instead he just smiled shyly at Tony when he came to bring him his bill and clear his table, unsure of what he was allowed to say to him. The last thing he wanted to do was make Tony think that he didn't want him, but he also didn't want to make him uncomfortable. He was at work and some Omegas were really shy and might not appreciate being flirted with. Steve wasn't entirely sure he could even flirt with Tony in that moment without being really awkward about it. It was best to not say much at all and just follow Tony's lead.

Tony gasped softly when their fingers brushed and Steve's eyes widened in shock. It was like a spark shot through them both and rushed straight down south. Steve instantly felt his cock throb to life and Tony's hole twitched, getting slick in anticipation of his Alpha's knot. They stared at each other for a moment, before Tony tore his gaze away and scurried off. Tony wanted to wait until Steve left to grab the bill. He didn't want to approach him again, not when he felt so confused and conflicted, but fucking Obie told him to get his ass over there. Which is the only reason Tony found himself back at Steve's table. It definitely had nothing to do with the way his heart was pounding in his chest and he felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Tony grabbed the bill off of the table and his eyes widened at the more than generous tip Steve had left on the table. Steve smirked at him and stood up, leaning closer to whisper out a goodbye, unable to stop himself when Tony looked so damn pretty, a little flustered with his hair sticking up all over the place like he kept running his fingers through it.

"Goodnight, pretty Omega."

Tony stared at him as he left, feeling all fluttery inside, but his jaw clenched.

What a prick? Did he really think he could waltz in here and call him pretty and Tony would be his? Did he really think he could buy Tony's affection with an over the top tip?

Tony growled and stomped over to the register to put away the money, pocketing his tip.

"Fucking Alphas," He grumbled.

Then he noticed that the Alpha had left his number and Tony scoffed.

How presumptuous of him to assume that Tony wanted him!

Tony didn't want him. Really he didn't. He definitely wanted nothing to do with the Alpha. Uh-uh! Nope! Definitely not! He didn't want any Alpha, especially not that one, that stupid pretty Alpha. His Alpha , his traitorous mind corrected.

Steve went home that night and laid down in his bed, his phone next to him on his pillow, his ringer turned up all the way, wondering if his Omega would call him after his shift was over. Tony of course had no intention of calling him. He hadn't taken the phone number home with him. He had tossed it in the trash. He went home seething. Pissed off that Brock had an Alpha, pissed off that his mate had shown up, pissed off that he'd let him walk away, and after a week of sleepless nights and drinking that didn't manage to take his mind off those stupid gorgeous blue eyes, Tony was pissed off that he threw his number away.

How the hell was he supposed to find his Alpha now?

He hated to admit it, refused to admit it aloud, but alone in his own bed while sleep evaded him for the fifth night in a row, Tony could finally admit to himself that he regretted not calling his Alpha, that he wanted him.

[thran-duils]

Lost In Zero Gravity (P.8)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Eight) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 2,685 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior

Author’s Note: **MUCH ANGST**

Part Seven || Part Nine || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Instead of going to his office, Tony marched straight to Steve’s without so much as a fleeting greeting for anyone who he passed on the way. He barged in and closed the door loudly behind him.

Steve looked up from his laptop, pausing for a moment. He saw the look on Tony’s face, “Something wrong?”

Stopping in front of his desk, Tony glowered down at him. “I don’t know. You tell me after I tell you about the interesting question Y/N had for me today.”

“What was that?” Steve asked, looking back at his laptop, clicking away on the keyboard. He seemed to relax when he heard it was about Y/N.

“She asked who Cecile was,” Tony stated. Steve stopped then, his fingers hovering over the keys, suddenly interested again. Tony gave a wry chuckle. “Oh, that got your attention, did it? You suddenly give a shit now, don’t you?”

Steve’s hands left his keyboard, his face screwed up in confusion. “How did she—”

“You slipped up,” Tony pointed at him accusingly, running his tongue over his bottom lip. He came to sit in the chair across from Steve’s desk, sitting back, staring at him. “You called her Cecile in bed.” Steve looked like he had been slapped. “Do you have no recollection of this?”

“No,” Steve admitted reluctantly.

“Hmm… well, it apparently happened.”

“Did you—”

“No. No, I didn’t tell her,” Tony interrupted forcibly. “I left her at the apartment. She’s busy with the cat.” Tony exhaled sharply, running his hand over his face, distressed. “Did… did I not tell you to keep your marriage shit out of it? Didn’t I?” Steve threw his hands out and started to defend himself and Tony pressed on, “I did! I distinctly remember it! I know things are not great right now with her but if you can’t keep a lid on it, what are we even doing messing around? And yeah, I say we because I’m tied in with this if you haven’t noticed!”

Steve clicked his jaw, pushing back from his desk, hands planted on the arms of his chair, silent.

As the silence stretched on, Tony relented in his anger slightly. His voice was less harsh, “I mean, come on, man. That’s a rookie mistake.”

“We’re trying to work on it,” Steve finally said. His voice was sad when he said, “I haven’t told you she’s pregnant.” That piqued Tony’s interest. “Yeah. A couple months along.” He gave a humorless laugh and said, “But you know the bitch of it is I don’t know if it’s mine. Or… if it’s that… little fuck.”

“I’m not sure what she sees in him,” Tony offered up, trying to be comforting.

“She’s always had a thing for younger guys. Plus, he doesn’t come with all the strings of marriage,” Steve said sourly.

“What are you going to do?”

“What can I do other than let it play out and then get a DNA test?”

“And… if it’s not yours?”

Steve sighed loudly, throwing his hands out again. He looked defeated. “I don’t know, Tony. I… I don’t want to divorce her. There’s still something to salvage, I know it. And I’m not gonna kick her ass to the curb.”

“I didn’t expect you to.”

“I just… I’m trying to take it day by day. I’m sorry I fucked up with Y/N. I really don’t even remember it. I was high as hell the last time we had sex. It must have just… slipped out,” Steve said. He chewed on his bottom lip, staring off into nothing, Tony silent as well. When Steve looked back at him he said, “I’ll do better.”

Tony apologized immediately, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just come in here and ream you. I mean, I did. But I should have asked first.”

“I haven’t been exactly forthcoming about it.”

“No, no you haven’t. You could do better at that too.”

Steve nodded in agreement and asked seriously, his hand running over his beard, “Y/N was really bothered by it?”

“I don’t think so. She brushed it off when she saw my reaction to the question. I think she was just curious more than anything. It was an innocent question I think.”

“Well, it won’t happen again,” Steve said firmly. “I’ll make sure of it.”

<><><>

Something was tugging on the other end of the lights that you were trying to hang up. You already knew who it was, and you turned, scolding immediately, “Luna!”

Luna was batting at the end of the orange Halloween lights and when you said her name, she immediately stopped, booking it away towards the couch. She got up on it and sat down, her tail swishing.

“Don’t glare at me! You’re the one being naughty! You have so many damn toys and you are trying to sabotage me!”

She laid down then, turning away from you. Rolling your eyes, you resumed decorating. You loved that cat but you also wanted to strangle her sometimes.

In the middle of hanging up little bats, you heard the key in the lock. You stilled, seeing Steve walk into the apartment. He was carrying a small bag and his eyes ran over the living room seeing all the decorations you had hung up. A small smirk appeared on his face as he closed the door behind him, locking it.

“What?” you asked.

“Looks like you’re going all out. Halloween isn’t until next month.”

“It’s September 30th,” you pointed out. “Who decorates for a holiday days beforehand?”

“Touche, ma’am,” Steve joked coming over towards you. He stopped to reach out and scratch Luna behind the ears.

“Can you put some up higher?” you asked him, gesturing to continue the swarm of bats you had put on the wall.

Steve placed the bag down and came over to you, taking the rest of the small stack of them. You rolled the tape handing each piece to him and he worked in tandem to place them on the wall, continuing your pattern.

“I’ve almost finished my 31 days of Halloween list too,” you told him.

He cocked an eyebrow and asked, “And what exactly is that?”

“You must never have fun,” you jested, handing him another piece of rolled tape. “It’s a list of horror or Halloween related movies for every day in October. I’ll send you guys the list so you can plan visits around it because I will not be missing a day. And if you don’t like a movie, well, then just don’t come on that day.”

“Wowww,” Steve drew out, chuckling.

Shrugging, you told him, “I’m serious. One hundred percent.”

He still laughed as he finished putting up the last couple bats. “Noted, dear.”

Stepping back, you nodded in approval at the wall. “It looks good. That was the last part! I can’t wait to see all the lights I hung up at nighttime! It’ll set a really nice ambience.”

“I can see that,” Steve responded, looking around at all the strings of lights. He looked amused by the sight of it. His eyes met yours again and he said, “Way to be festive.”

“Always. Just wait until Christmas.”

That drew a laugh out of him and then he said, “I did come here for a reason though.”

Moving past you, Steve went for the bag and picked it up, holding it out to you.

“What’s this?” you asked him, taking it from him cautiously.

“A gift,” Steve told you.

“Christmas isn’t for months.”

Steve chuckled, “Consider it an early one.”

You opened it, taking out a small box. Upon opening the box, you found a key and realized immediately what it was. It was the key to the apartment. Only took them a month and a half.

“Trust me enough now, I suspect,” you commented, looking up at him.

Steve nodded, “That was the stipulation wasn’t it?”

“Sure was…” you said, trailing off. You walked past him with the box and went to the door to grab your keyring that was hanging there. You slipped the key onto it and replaced it. Turning back, you said, “Glad I was impressive enough to earn it.”

Steve came up to you, a tickled look on his face at your wisecrack. He leaned down, kissing you on the forehead.

“Good job.”

“Thanks,” you returned. “Tony too busy to be here for the ceremony?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Well, you get some brownie points. Speaking of brownies, I did make some. Want one?”

You moved out from around Steve, not waiting for him to answer. You smiled to yourself, your back to him feeling the weight of being locked in one place taken from you now that you had a key. You could not wait to be able to go out without an escort. Freedom was at your fingertips.

<><><>

Tony was gripping your waist and hip tightly as you rode him on your bed. They had come over late in the night and it was early, 4:30am. Steve had gotten out of bed to get showered and clean himself up. Tony had elected to stay in bed and have another go at it, which you were not complaining about. They had not come over for a week having been away on a trip and you had missed them.

You barely heard the door open, thinking it was Steve coming back from the shower. But, you noticed Tony freeze, his eyes drawn to the door, widening alarmingly. His hands tightened dangerously, and you stared down at him confused, stalling.

“No, do—” Tony started to say loudly.

You barely turned your head before someone grabbed your hair, dragging you off of him across the bed. You tumbled to the ground, looking up terrified seeing a dark-haired woman looking wild, her eyes filled with hatred.

“Alessia!” you heard Tony shout from near the bed as the woman dove at you.

Your vision was obstructed by a fist hitting your face. You cried out in pain, trying to curl up into yourself.

“Bitch!” you heard her yell.

Another hit landed but with less force, and you heard her being drug away, her shouting incomprehensively. Nervously, you uncovered your face, shaking like a leaf.

Eyesight clearing, you saw Tony dragging her away.

“Alessia!” He shouted again as she fought ferociously against his iron grip around her arms, his hands locked together against her chest.

“You fucking absolute bastard!” she shrieked, trying to get away from his grasp. “Is this where you were last Monday night? You missed your daughter’s preschool Thanksgiving play to fuck a whore? And one of the first things you do when you get back from a week long trip is come here? Let me go! Let me GO, Tony! Get your fucking hands off of me!”

She tore away from his grip when he loosened up and shoved him into the doorway, before slapping him with all the force she could muster across the face. Tony ate the hit, turning back with his jaw clenched but he did little to respond beyond glaring daggers at her.

Steve was there outside in the hall looking stricken, his hair wet from his shower but dressed. Aleissa let out a disgusted laugh seeing him.

“You too?” she spat at him. She pointed dangerously at him and said, “You both can fucking rot for all I care! Cecelia will fucking know about this, you piece of shit!”

Alessia’s rage was directed towards Tony again as she spat, “I can put up with the running around on me because god knows I’m not a saint. But you cannot start neglecting your family! I won’t fucking put up with it!”

She took off down the hall and Tony swore loudly, turning back to the room going towards the ground for his pants. His eyes ran around the room, discombobulated. His eyes landed on you and his mouth fell open, like he wanted to say something, but he could not form the words.

“Go! I got it!” Steve exclaimed at Tony quickly, gesturing him out the door.

Tony only hesitated for a moment before throwing his pants on and taking off out of the room after her.

Steve came to you quickly, his fingers brushing your cheek. You winced and he retracted his hand. “Fuck,” he hissed.

“What the hell?” you demanded, tears spilling over. The shock was wearing off, you feeling the pain in your jaw and cheek now.

Steve sighed heavily, telling you in explanation, “The wife.”

Terrence was in the doorway then and Steve grabbed the throw blanket from the end of the bed, tossing it around you to cover you.

“What the fuck?” Steve shouted at Terrence, over his shoulder as he tucked the blanket around you. “Why did you let her in here?”

“She had a goddamn gun pointed at me, boss! I didn’t want to cause a scene!”

“You don’t think this a scene?” Steve exclaimed, gesturing wildly at you.

“I meant in the hall. And I also didn’t wanna get shot! She’s psychotic!”

“Get the fuck out,” Steve snapped at him. “Go get Tony. Alessia is probably causing another scene down in the lobby and I don’t trust Tony and Daryl to be able to handle it by themselves! Especially with Tony half fucking dressed.”

Terrence did as he was ordered.

“Come on. Come up here,” Steve encouraged you, helping you stand and sitting you on the edge of the bed. He was trying to be calm, but you could pick up on the edge in his voice. “Sit tight.”

He left the room too. You sat on the bed, grasping the blanket tightly around you. Your breath was shuddering, trying to process what had just happened. Steve came back with a towel. Sitting on the bed next to you, he raised it and pressed it to your jaw softly. You realized he had put some ice cubes in the towel tied off with a rubber band to make a makeshift ice pack.

You should not need an ice pack because you got punched in the face, you thought, your shock of the situation melting away to anger.

You jerked away from him and he gave you a confused look. Tears came again then and you took the ice pack from him.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Steve said sincerely. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“You know where this wouldn’t have happened? Back home!” you spat at him, meeting his eyes. His expression hardened and you frankly did not care. “But no, you two forced me to come to this stupid apartment! I would’ve been safe back at the brothel!”

“Now, Y/N—” Steve started to say, sounding very much like he was going to try to talk you down, but you cut him off.

“No! You know I’m right!”

“Y/N—”

“Just get out!” you shouted at him, losing your temper. Steve was staring at you in disbelief, and he was not moving. You repeated with more force, standing up in a fury, holding the blanket tightly around you. “Leave me be! Get out!” You tossed the icepack onto your bedside table. You dove for Tony’s clothes, wallet, and his cell phone, storming towards the door and tossing them out into the hallway. You could not lock them completely out of the apartment since they had keys but goddamnit you were going to have your space in your bedroom.

You whipped back around to find Steve still sitting on the bed, stunned. You were openly crying now, and you hysterically told him, pointing out the door, “Are you fucking deaf, Steve? Get the hell out! I don’t want to fucking see either of you!”

He stood then finally, controlled, masking the shock he had displayed moments before. He walked towards you and the door, his eyes boring into you. You met him with the same ferocious gaze he was giving you as he passed, his eye contact not breaking with yours. As soon as he was clear of the door, you moved, and slammed it close behind him.

The lock fell into place.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming @oceaniamaddness @multifandom-superlover @imsonick @holl2712 @here4thefanfics

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap) - Part 11

Summary: Sam inherits Steve Roger's crime empire after a handful of his men betray and kill him. The rest of the crime world, sensing an opening, go after Sam and the territories he's inherited from Steve. Thankfully, Steve left him a number, someone to call if he ever needs help. Someone, Steve claimed, he can trust. But can Sam really trust a mercenary with that much blood on his name? And that many knives in his pockets.

WARNINGS: (there will eventually be all of these things) blood, violence, murder, shooting, stabbing, sex, blood play , food related things: malnutrition, feeding, blow jobs, bathing/washing, chronic pain.

18+ Content: Make Good Choices Kids <3

Ao3

Sam was going crazy. Cooped up in this fucking house. And sure, the house was big, really big. There was a fucking bowling alley downstairs for fucks sake. But he'd been stuck here. Not able to leave. And his skin was starting to itch. He'd been Steve's eyes in the neighborhood, always out in the streets, mingling. He was a people person. And now he was stuck inside, with only a handful of people. His only visitor an annoying mercenary with an insubordinate streak a mile fucking long.

Sam rubbed as his temple and stood up, pausing, not sure exactly where he was intending to go. He flexed his hand, the bruise there staining his knuckles. He sighed and moved around his desk, walking out the door and down the hall. He might as well get in his daily laps while he was sitting around doing nothing. He trotted down the flight of stairs behind the kitchen, down to the pool. A bowling alley, an Olympic size swimming pool, what more could he want.

He changed in the locker room and dove in. Swimming lap after lap as he tried to calm his racing throughts. He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. Steve in charge. Him making the rounds to the businesses, chatting with all their friends and contacts. He paused to take a breath, holding onto the edge of the pool. He'd sent people to check on them, to make sure they were okay after everything.

A few of them had already been taken by other families. They'd whispered their apologies in back allies and then scurried away, in fear for their livelihoods and their familes no doubt. Sam needed this plan to go smoothly. He needed this shit to end. So he could lay some ground work and get his people back. He still didn't trust Bucky. Not really. He was efficient. And he was loyal. But he was loyal to Steve. And Sam wasn't Steve. Never would be.

He pushed off the wall and dove under again, letting the water move agaisnt his skin as he swam, thinking about how easy it had been to corral them all. Steve had watermarks in his desk, watermarks from all the other families. It was easier to manipulate people when they thought someone else was doing it. He'd sent letters. To each family. From each other. Requesting a gathering, to make plans. Plans to get rid of that unworthy inheritor that had been given Steve's empire.

He smiled to himself as he swam. The best thing about letters like that, was that no one responded to them. Not ever. They never wanted to leave more of a trail than they had to.

Sam swam a few more laps and then lay back in the water. Staring at the ceiling as his heartrate slowed. He sighed deeply and then climbed out of the pool, grabbing his towel and patting at his face. His phone buzzed against the concrete floor. Sam looked down and saw his sisters name lighting up his phone, his stomach twisted. He draped his towel over his shoulders and grabbed his phone, sliding his finger across the screen and pressing it too his ear.

"Unbelievable." Sarah's voice says, and he can hear the anger through the phone.

"I'm fine Sarah." He sighs.

"You're fine? Oh you're fine! Praise be! He's fine everyone! Sam Wilson is fine!" The dramatics make him smile though he knows she's angry.

"I am fine. You got my text didn't you?" Sam asks, and starts pacing.

"Yes. I got your text. 'I'm okay. Don't worry.' That text? That you sent me as I watched them carry body after body out of that goddforsaken house." She nearly growled. Sam grimaced.

"Yeah. That text." He said.

"Yeah. I got that text." She said, her voice low.

"Look, I'm sorry okay? I know I should have called. It's just- things have been a little crazy here." He sighs, his feet moving him back and forth across the floor. He rubs at the back of his neck.

"People have been watching me. I can't even leave this fucking house! And I didn't wanna risk calling you. Okay?" He asks, pleading with his sister. He knows she's never agreed with what he does, but she never fully disowned him. They talk once a month. A monthly phone call is what she gives him, and he takes it. He hears her take a deep breath and let it out, can see her trying to get herself under control.

"But you're okay? Really?" She asks, sounding more concerned than angery now.

"Yes. Mostly. I will be. I- you don't like to hear about it. But I'll be fine soon." He says, trying not say anything she doesn't want to hear.

"Okay. But Sam. Something ever happens like that again. You call me." She says, the anger is back, but it's... different. Familial. Sam smiles into the phone.

"Yes Ma'am." He says, and Sarah laughs, easing the tension in Sam's shoulders.

"How are the boys?" Sam asks, crossing his free arm over his chest.

"They're great. They're at school right now. But they told me to tell you hi before they left. Cass wanted me to tell you he got first at the science fair. And AJ won a writing competition, got his poem in the town newspaper and everything." She chuckles, Sam can see her shaking her head, but he hears the pride in her voice, and feels it swelling in his own chest.

"That's amazing. Tell them I'm proud. Of both of them." He says, and he knows he sounds sad.

"I will. Of course I will." Sarah says.

"You're doing great with them." He says after a moment. And she laughs again.

"I know." She says.

"But thank you." And he hears the smile again.

"You won't be able to come visit for Christmas will you?" She asks, sadness tinting her voice now. Sam closes his eyes, lets his head fall back. It's the only time he sees them in person all year.

"No. I don't think so. There's... too much, going on. I wouldn't feel safe." He says, shaking his head, wishing he could reach out and touch her, hug her. He misses them all so much.

"Okay. I just needed to know so I could tell the boys. I already kind of assumed. Mentioned you might not be able to make it." She says, and he hears her sniffle. Feels his throat burning.

"Tell them I'm sorry. I just-" he takes a deep breath, trying to force his throat to open.

"I need to know you're safe. All of you. I can't risk it." He says.

"I know. Sam I know that. Don't think I don't know what you do for this family. I may not agree with everything you do. But I know you're a good man. You always have been." She's quick to reasure him. Sam feels that ever present stab of guilt.

"Sarah." He says.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I'm just- I'm just so sorry." Sam says, as the burning in his eyes runs over, hot tears dripping down his face.

"I know baby brother. We're all just out here trying to survive." She says. Sam smiles, their parents words sounding so right echoing through her.

"Yeah. Some days are just harder than others." He continues the well worn conversations.

"Alway were." She says, and he can hear her smiling again.

"Always will be." Sam finishes, both of them laughing now. Sam hears footsteps behind him and wipes at his face before turning around. He sees Torres standing by the door. The kids gives him a little wave and then steps back outside. Sam sighs.

"Sarah-"

"I know that tone." She cuts him off.

"You gotta go." She says.

"I gotta go." He agrees, his head dropping a bit as his fingers fiddle with his towel.

"I miss you Sam. Please take care of yourself." She says, sniffling again.

"I will. I promise. You give those boys my love." He says, wiping at his eyes again.

"I will. Talk to you soon baby brother. I love you." She says, her voice almost a whisper.

"I love you too Sarah." He says, sighing as the line clicks. He takes a deep breath, kneels by the pool to splash water on his face before patting it dry again. He grabs his clothes and heads for the door Torres had popped in and out of. He's standing right outside when Sam pushes through it.

"She doin okay?" Torres asks, his voice soft. Sam nods, his lips curving just a little.

"She's good."

"Good." Torres nods.

"Helen visited the bakery today. Jimmy said the other familes have been sending people in. They trashed the store front last night. She said he looked scared." Torres says, back to business as they begin walking down the hall. Sam thinks for a second, nods.

"Let's give him some protection. We can afford leaving a few people there with him. Send Maria with a couple guys. She can pick who, she's knows her people. They can figure out what works best and then she can come back here." Sam says, another sigh escaping him.

"Will do." Torres nods, his hands going into his pockets, something he only ever does in the house, Sam had noticed. His relaxed decorum never showing around others.

"Jimmy's been loyal. And he's a good man. He deserves to feel safe." Sam says, stopping in front of his room. Torres nods again and then smiles when he looks at Sam.

"Plus he makes like, the best bread we've ever eaten." He says, licking his lips. Sam chuckled, glad for the small joke.

"Yeah his breads fucking amazing." Sam agrees, letting himself smile for awhile longer.

"I'll go tell Maria. Help her get some things together." He says, stepping away.

"Torres." Sam calls, stopping him.

"I want you to send Helen to the warehouse. Have her scope it out. She can take a few people with her too, get it done faster." Sam says, scratching at his scalp. Torres nods again.

"Have her put up some cameras too. Small ones." Sam says then, quietly.

"Cameras. You still don't trust him?" Torres asks.

"This isn't about trust, necessarily. I just wanna see-" Sam cuts off. What is it exactly he wants to see? He's not sure.

"I just need to see that it's done." He says, brow furrowed. Torres looks at him, his eyes moving over Sam's face. The kid is so observant Sam's a bit worried about what he might see.

"Live feed cameras then?" Is all he asks. Sam's eyes jump to his face, a smirk forming as he looks at the kid.

"Yes. I think live feed cameras are an excellent idea." Sam says, inclining his head. Torres mirrors him and takes a step backward before turning to go.

"I'll have Maria bring us back some bread as well." He calls over his shoulder, making Sam laugh again as he steps into his dark bedroom. He leans against the door in the dark, not sure that spying on Bucky Barnes is the best idea he's ever had. But he's curious. And Sam knows what people say about curiosity, what everyone says, but they always forget that second part.

Sam needs to this ended. Or probably started. Like this would ever really end things. But he needs to send them all a fucking message. He needs the satisfaction this will bring. He needs these fucking familes to know that Sam Wilson is not someone to be fucking trifled with.

[howdoyousleep3]

it’s sebastian stan’s birthday!!! how are daddy james and baby buck celebrating? 😍✨

Ahhhh, what a lovely warm thought, yesssss gimme gimme I wanna talk about Daddy James!

The first thing that comes to mind is taking time off of work, going on a trip of sorts. That’s so so rare for James but Steve would want to ensure it happens. They’re sitting at dinner, things are quiet. James has taken a few calls, Steve being incredibly understanding, such a sweet baby. They’re tucking into their meal when Steve hums.

“Your birthday is in a month.”

“No shit, doll? You’re right aren’t you? Damn.”

“I’d like to go somewhere, plan something. You never take off work. Let’s celebrate.”

It’s so simple and direct and James immediately wants to put up a fight but what is James supposed to say? He’s sitting across from his baby who has shown him so much grace and has been so patient tonight and is looking at him with those vibrant puppy dog eyes and what? He’s supposed to say no?

And then Steve tacks on a—

“Please, Daddy...?” and James is done for.

Steve goes bananas. Daddy gives him free reign to do whatever he’d like to do, money not a concern, which...makes Steve go hella sweet but that’s not the focus of this answer. He has Sam help him reason through different destination options, has 46 tabs open on his laptop as he scours reviews and experiences. After they narrow it down to three, he makes an Executive Baby Decision and chooses the Cayman Islands. He wants to wear tiny trunks, wants to watch others fawn over his burly buff boyfriend (shirtless or draped in linen) and wants to drink Rum until it’s part of his bloodstream. A vacation to Switzerland can wait.

James isn’t surprised by the choice. He figured Steve wanted to go somewhere warm and sunny, has been hinting at it for months, has been purchasing these tiny and questionable Speedos and floral button-up shirts for weeks now.

“That sounds like a great idea, baby. You gonna surprise me, huh?”

“Gonna plan it all out. Don’t need to worry about a thing, Daddy...”

Steve. Plans. Everything. He reserves the hotel, the cabana, the excursions, the flights, a few dinners. He is a godsend and plans some major things but leaves their schedule open because that isn’t the point of their vacation. The point is to relax and enjoy themselves and each other.

Steve has never ever seen his Daddy so relaxed in the entire time he’s known him. There are no harsh line to his shoulders, no tension in his jaw. There is a point where Steve has to be clear with James, honest, and tell him that Steve spent a lot of time planning this out and that it would mean so much to Steve if Daddy could not focus on his phone or work. After a profuse apology, cheek kisses and a promise it is done, no questions asked. Steve has never had James like this. In fact, they’ve never even spent this much time together at one time.

Stevie Baby is in heaven.

They spend the first day on the beach and fucking in the hotel room. What is Daddy supposed to do when Steve has been teasing him relentlessly, both inadvertently and purposefully? Seeing damn near every inch of Steve’s creamy skin on full display as he stretches under the sun and in the sand makes James unbearably hard under the trunks Steve chose for him to wear.

“Should’a just fucked you and this tight little body right there in fron’a God and everybody on that beach, shouldn’t I have? Bet your little dick gets so hard just thinking about people seein’ you get fucked by your Daddy. Words, baby use your words.”

But words are hard when Daddy has you laying on the floor of your hotel room as his fingers press between your lips, stroking your tongue as you drool.

The boat rental is James’ favorite. They take it out to snorkel around and go sightseeing, hopping from place to place all day, drinking and snacking. Steve looks like absolute perfection in the water, natural swimmers body and all, boyish charm, pretty tits. The more liquor that enters James’ system the more handsy and territorial he gets, grabbing for Steve and sucking kisses onto his jaw, squeezing at handfuls of ass. James gags for the way his baby feigns embarrassment, for the way he gasps and giggles and tells Daddy no. Steve already included a stupid amount of money for a tip for the few workers who are accompanying them so James doesn’t feel too bad when he has Steve crawl on top of him and ride Daddy into the sunset, has him fulfill his little exhibitionist dream.

It rains on James’ birthday. It’s a bummer but the two of them are a bit relieved to have a day they do nothing. They draw the curtains and sleep in late, well passed 9 AM, which for James is late. It’s goddamn impossible to not wake up hard and achy when you wake up next to one Steve Rogers, curvy and muscly and running warm all over. Steve is slipping down Daddy’s thick form, sloppy kisses down his tummy, and his lips are wrapped around Daddy’s cock before he even properly wakes up.

“Happy Birthday, Daddy,” Steve whispers into James’ neck after he’s swallowed his mouthful like a good boy, snuggles in tight for another round of slumber.

James is in heaven.

They order room service, a ridiculous amount of food, munch all day. The room is cold and they’re warm under covers, TV on. Steve brings a little something special for the occasion, a little silky number that’s made up of intricate strings that come together and barely cover up Steve’s prick, his bitty hole. It snatched his waist and makes his shoulders looks delicate and don’t get Daddy started on his perky tits and how he looks like a dame. It’s navy blue and hugs him like sin all over and it’s such a damn shame that Daddy ruins it when he rips at pieces of it, tugs, pulls and wraps said pieces around Steve’s neck.

Steve comes gasping and choking, Daddy murmuring in his ear about how much he loves Steve, how thankful he is to Steve for setting this up for him. He comes with Daddy telling him he’ll buy Steve a thousand more lacy numbers and he’ll shred the others with his bare hands in the same manner. He’ll do anything for and everything he wants with Steve.

The rain has passed by the time their dinner reservation comes around. It’s a little breezy and smells of rain and Steve gets to eat from James’ hands and the two of them have never been so happy.

It the best birthday James has ever had.

Thank you for your lovely question, buttercup! Happiest of Birthdays to our dearest Sebastian and Daddy James. 😍😍😍