#Hate mail goes crazy on this webbed site

[pey-up]

Equivalent of getting the wrong address on an assassination attempt

i promise you wont make it out alive

????????

[heckyeahponyscans]

hi! i’m not very into MLP myself (i love the ponies/designs but haven’t been into it since i was a kid) but i love collection and toy based fandoms, especially older ones like MLP! i really enjoy reading your posts about being in the old web fandom and i was wondering if, besides finding old sites on the wayback machine, there are any “oral history” type write-ups on the history of the fandom? the fanlore page was only about friendship is magic and i am just itching to know more. thanks!!

Ahhh, the best repository of that was probably the old version of the MLP Trading Post, but unfortunately after they moved the old board eventually went under. (What happened was MLPTP.com + the board was run by a user named Jenn, but at some point she dropped out of communication. So the mods registered MLPTP.net, created a new board, and everything migrated over there.)

Probably the biggest early fandom event was the absolute chaos that followed the release of the G2 ponies in 1997.

Now keep in mind up to this point the G1 ponies were the only My Little Ponies to ever have existed. So when people heard MLP was coming back they assumed they would be in the same molds; what ELSE would a My Little Pony look like?

Well, the G2s looked radically different: smaller, skinnier, and with fox-like heads.

After the initial shock died down, MLP collectors split into two groups: people who liked the G2s and people who hated the G2s. (Full disclosure, I was 100% in the latter camp, I thought they were awful, lol. I do have a small collection of them now though.)

In theory liking or disliking a toy is unimportant, but in fandom EVERY little thing is important, so a pony civil war broke out. Groups were created to promote / protest "the new ponies", banners were displayed on websites, passionate arguments were made for either side, and flame wars broke out constantly.

Among the craziness I remember:

- someone saying not liking the new ponies "was a hate crime"

- HQT (High Queen Tiffany) starting a petition for Hasbro to bring back the old ponies and getting so much flak that she ended up taking down her whole site; this sent shockwaves through the community as she had the second- or third-largest MLP fan site at the time, including one of the most active message boards.

- and someone on the Pony People Mailing List saying people who didn't like the new ponies were Nazis, and getting lambasted for comparing genocide of real people to toys.

If you're thinking "Wow, that sounds dumb" . . . absolutely, lol!

But that's not to say the fandom wasn't any fun; there were also friendships formed, people chatting about who their favorite pony was, people trading ponies, the international ponies being discovered--it was a robust community, overall a blast, and the G2 civil wars were just a little sliver of all the activity.

Subsequent MLP generations, like G3, did not get a strong reaction because a) people had gotten used to the idea of different pony gens looking different and b) the community was no longer mainly hot-blooded teenagers eager for a fight. Now we were tired 20-somethings working retail jobs. (Also the G3s looked really close to G1s, soooo, yeah, pretty universally loved.)

I do think the Old Fandom instinct to go for the throat is much healthier than the brony "love and tolerance towards anyone who calls themself a brony" attitude; never assume someone is your friend just because of a shared hobby. Some fandom folk you meet will be nice, some will suck, that's just how it goes.

[abnormal-angel]

Likes, Lies, & Support

Okay, I was going to post last night on this business. But, I was hoping people would come to their senses. When will I learn? I woke up today to hear about all the hate spewing toward Norman yet again today. So let’s go over this shall we?

1. LIKES

Everyone is apparently all up in arms are freaking out about N liking some of dk’s cannes photos. Yes he liked a few (one was a group photo, another a photo taken by a photographer he followed yesterday). Following she liked his bday post to you know who, and the suck video and edit post the day or so before. I am hearing she has since unliked these posts by at least two separate people this morning. [EDIT: Hearing now she didn’t unlike his posts. Still, her liking his stuff is an anomaly and I can’t help but think it is just another level of her online trolling]

a) Stop hating on N for liking a few of her measly posts. Yet again they are only industry related and he probably liked the first few before the bday post because he knew her ass would go crazy over it. But, come on! N isn’t just not going to say happy bday just because of dk’s crazy. So I think those initial likes before the bday post were to try and subdue the backlash from her.

b) Then dk liked the bday post. Probably to make it look like she is “so supportive” of their relationship. Yeah right. I have been sent screenshots of her liking posts about hating your bf’s costars. hm.

c) Then N followed that one photographer’s ig and liked a couple more of her pics. This could be to tell her he is keeping an eye on her or just again trying to appease her from going ig crazy. We know she has no problem dragging his name through the mud when she gets pissy. And look at all the industry talent she is around rn. Is it any wonder N would play nice? A couple of likes mean nothing. Yes he is filming. But, if he were really with her don’t  you think he’d comment publicly about how proud he is (puke)? This is PR damage control and nothing more imo.

2. LIES

Ahh yes. Of course it wouldn’t be dk’s crazy if we didn’t include all the lies being spread. Yesterday someone linked me yet another Daily Mail article that mentions N, again only one sentence. It appears we have begun to playing the victim stance she will play in all this. I will not link it because I don’t condone giving her click if I can help it, but I did screen shot it with the link for proof:

a) The dk  lies: This is just the section mentioning N and a mention of JJ too you see, of course! All the signs of a paid for by dk DM article spun her way, with of course TONS of red carpet pics and a video of a pap catching her and JJ walking together in l.a. I like how it says, “...who dated Joshua for two decades - announced her split from the star in 2016.” Really dk? It was all you who announced it was over? That’s how that happened? Mmmkay.

Here we see dk beginning to set it all up. She left the love of her life (lol) for N and he treated her badly. Even though we all know he was probably up front and honest the whole time about being casual. There might have been a time he fell for her act but she ruined it every time with the pap setups because she can’t not be photographed with him, even when he asks her not to or tells her not to be certain places (e.g., gallery opening) she goes anyway. These are not the acts of someone who respects you or understands what fb means. She is used to getting her way and will throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get it. I suspect more paid dm articles this week mentioning N not supporting her and mentioning JJ in any way she can, trolling him online while he is at Cannes too. lol. Careful JJ!

b) The blind lies and b.s.: To make matters worse than dk and regular N haters, this morning someone linked me to a gossip blind (not cdan, but the link was supposedly posted in cdan comments) that looks like it is taking a dig at N and brings up the mention about him cheating on her.

Which one, I am getting pretty sick of these blind sites all they do is stir up chaos and hate. And two, they were never anything serious and this blind writer probably knows that, anyone with half a brain can figure this out, but that isn’t what get clicks is it? Even cdan leaving up all those hateful comments and digs and him makes me sick. It is all for the web traffic and fucking impressions. Who cares if an innocent guy gets his name ripped apart everyday? Not them! They are just as bad as the paparazzi, disgusted. I will not post a cap or link to that blind because I don’t want to give it anymore unwarranted attention than I need to. Pure and simple b.s.

I would urge you to be the voice of reason if you do go to cdan. I was sent some great cdan comment caps today by people who are putting together her playing the victim act. Be like these commenters and when you hear some of dk’s left field crazy don’t go running over there freaking out, it only fuels the flame o’ crazy. I am more and more convinced these sites help create hate and I definitely think cdan does not like N the way he talks about him. Which is definitely NOT impartial at all. N gets so much hate already from people outside the fandom, please do not contribute to it.

3. SUPPORT

Look, at the end of the day we are all here because we love and support N right? So I would again ask you to check your emotional reactivity when he likes something of hers. Plain and simple it is likely a PR move, knowing how crazy she can get. He started liking after that stupid kissing frogs post of hers remember. Seems to be a dig at him. For whatever reason he is playing it nice with her, which I am told is normal behavior for him when he breaks with someone. Hello it is N, you know his heart.

Whatever reasons they are his and his PR’s. We again need to remember that at the end of the day you are fans, right? So quit going over to those gossip sites and freaking every time he does something you don’t understand. It is likely that there will be a lot about him you don’t understand. Instead just remember that you love the guy and that no matter what he doesn’t deserve to be trapped by dk’s b.s. and that he needs your support.

I will leave you with the same message as last rant. Amp up the N support and love and step back from her crazy.

Whew! That is my take on all of this. I am sure I forgot things but, these are my main thoughts.

[vickyrobinsonblog]

Asian brides – who’re they and where they may be discovered

Asian brides – who’re they and where they may be discovered

There’s nothing eternal inside our life and love – particularly. Individuals, whom as soon as have actually unsuccessful in love, are seeking a fresh yet another cautiously. They would like to see nearby an attractive, young, nice but calm and girls that are easy-going. There is certainly a viewpoint that Asian brides will be the best variation for such variety of guys since they combine beauty, complaisance and single fidelity.

In line with the outcomes of sociological research in Facebook and on online dating sites, in the last few years into the entire world that is civilized males choose to get knowledgeable about Asians more frequently than with representatives of other nationalities. Psychologists and ethnographers explain this kind of occurrence of interest in Asian ladies by the undeniable fact that those in the majority maintained their adherence to patriarchal relations.

Asian spouse will never ever enable by herself to humiliate her spouse. She’s going to never ever talk about some facts from her friends to your family life. Asian woman is hardworking and persistent – she works and studies obstinately and does not just forget about her home and family members. She attempts to not ever interfere inside her husbands’ relationships along with his ex-girlfriends, loved ones and buddies. In the event that you liked this features in Asian woman, it’s right time to find out about Asian nationality and become prepared to find the one you love!

Asian bride along with her traditions and perspective

It is extremely tough to speak about the specifics of this mindset, particularly such groups as mindset to life while the creation of a household, but there are facts that allocate Asian woman from European. Check out of these.

Attitude to life: perhaps the many uneducated Asian brides appear to be wiser than numerous girls with high-education and years of life experience backwards. Their intuitive experience of nature and belief in Jesus make Asian females relaxed, smiling, accepting to start with by themselves additionally the form of individual they stumbled on this globe. They recognize that there is another thing independent of the real globe and they don’t require proofs and rational justifications with this reality. They just just take everything easy this is exactly why Asian spouse is an excellent option for a person who really really really loves relaxed and moderate life.

Family values: you can find no age limits for Asian women in a concern – when it’s a time that is right them to discover a beloved, to become a spouse and also to provide delivery. Asian females love being with someone strong nearby and hate loneliness. Which is why they have been much compromised and attempt to keep her family members in love and tenderness throughout the very existence. Divorce in Asia is a tremendously uncommon event. right Here, it really is commonly thought that wedding is certainly one for life. Also, Asian bride will be really thrilled to bestow you plenty of kids, because a tremendously big family members is among the primary tradition in parts of asia.

Spot when you look at the culture: Asian ladies are maybe perhaps not individualists; these are typically scared of being alone, for this reason family additionally the collective – buddies, family relations, neighbors etc. are essential for them. They’re not going to risk these folks and also this interaction, therefore before carefully deciding Asian girls will think hard and recognize just exactly how their actions will influence every thing and everybody whom is sensible for them.

What exactly is a key of Asian beauty?

A beauty that is special of girls makes crazy lots of guys all over the globe. Something that is noticed in the beginning is a locks of Asian woman. Very very Long, brilliant, healthy ladies locks is extremely appealing for males from various nations. maybe Not advanced hairdos, but simply right hair that is native. You certainly will barely find an Asian woman having a haircut that is short. Long locks ended up being and it is nevertheless being stylish even today. Additionally, girls test out along with of these locks, but choose normal colors.

Eastern beauties are strikingly distinctive from Europeans. The look of them is seen as a some features. Narrowly planted eyes – this might be one of several primary plus of this girls of Asian look. Seductive and mystical, they fascinate, captivate the males’s hearts and, needless to say, never ever keep their owner without envious sights associated with other girls.

Light, impeccable porcelain epidermis from the Ancient times ended up being an indication that its owner is one of the greater estates. There clearly was a conclusion: just poor Asian woman invested a lot of the time into the dirty atmosphere and conditions, therefore precisely these were thought to have darker epidermis. This opinion that is traditional till nowadays and Asian girls also just simply take umbrellas anywhere each goes to get hide through the sunlight also to save your self their ‘porcelain’ epidermis.

Slim and figure that is beautiful also essential for just about any guy, and precisely Asian women is pleased with their gift from nature: fragile, timid, soft-gaited. No-one can encounter without considering this kind of unique woman. Asian brides look closely at whatever they drink and eat. As an example, they don’t really drink cold water, since it means they are fat, for this reason they choose hot beverages and natural tea.

Asian brides – unpredictable and different

Let us begin to see the distinction among stunning Asian ladies.

Japanese: the facial skin for the Japanese woman gets the model of an elongated egg-shaped, a huge nose and enormous eyes having a wide incision. The contemporary Japanese includes a bigger mind as compared to Korean and Chinese. Japanese females constantly make an effort to whiten their skin, generally there is often a cure that is special their aesthetic case because of this. But also without this, their skin may be the whitest among all Asians.

Chinese: the Chinese have face that is round broad cheekbones. Chinese girls have actually the skin that is darkest these three nationalities. With this good reason, they do not sunbathe not to ever enable their skin become darker.

Koreans: their face is flat, with a high cheekbones of square type. Typical Koreans have actually thinner noses than their Chinese and neighbors that are japanese.

‘Asian girl is a perfect spouse’ – psychologists

The image of faithful domestic Asian spouse is popularized worldwide more and much more every year. Asian mail purchase brides web web web sites be a little more popular and singles that are asian more desirable. But exactly what is really a key of Asian lady? Psychologists give an explanation for sensation of therefore popular Asian females because of the proven fact that they’re a demonstration that is perfect of intercourse. Any guy really wants to function as mind of this household and bride that is asian give him all chances become it. It is a old-fashioned belief and each Asian woman is taught this from her youth: leading part within the family members is provided to spouse.

Guys in Europe are sick and tired of feminism plus the imposition of “gender equality”. One way to displace the “normal state of affairs” for them is a spouse from under developed nations, where in actuality the man will continue to take over both in the home plus in culture. That is the reason Asian brides are incredibly desirable and start thinking about being the perfect spouse of any guy.

But, possibly, the explanation that is simplest associated with the sensation of Asian spouses is more primitive – product well-being. Typical domestic things for European woman may be luxurious conditions for the Asian and her kids. Also maybe maybe maybe not rich man will get a status associated with the most useful one when you look at the eyes of their beloved girl for just a little cash. Your wife that is asian will your character significantly more than material around, also it is practical in a household life.

But even cookbooks make women that are asian popular! It, in addition to the dishes of your national cuisine, and Italian and Spanish, which are also traditional, you will find… guess, whose cuisine when you buy? bowls of exactly exactly what nation occupy a place that is solid the information? Asian, needless to say! meals with rice, veggies and seafood not just look attractive in images, but additionally are promoted as being a supply of healthy, full-fledged life, male energy and feminine beauty. The capability of Asian spouse to cook all of these meals (plus popular sushi or the soy sauce) is an extraordinary proud for a husband. However the most enjoyable part of their tale really is easy – each men comes home home from a difficult workday with a larger pleasure if he understands that worldwide-known do-it-yourself delicious dinner is waiting around for him for a dining room table.

Known couples having A asian spouses

Statistic says that the most frequent wedding among interracial partners is wedding from a European or West guy and A asian girl. The following is a summary of highly successful people (including billionaires, actors, politicians) married to Asian women.

Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg. The bride associated with the youngest billionaire associated with the earth (Mark’s present status appears at $ 13.5 billion) is their longtime buddy Priscilla Chan. They nevertheless being together since 2004. Based on Mark, convenience may be the quality which he appreciates in Priscilla probably the most.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The story that is renowned legendary individuals the most mystical also nowadays. Yoko showed up when Lennon’s life ended up being empty. He may have produced complete great deal of things, but he came across her. “Fate is exactly what happens for you, as you have actually definitely another plans,” John Lennon had written at their forty.

Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim. In August 2004, Nicolas Cage married for the 3rd time. His chosen one had been definately not the field of cinema – Cage hitched Alice, a sushi restaurant. Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim came across in February the exact same 12 months in a restaurant where Alice worked whenever she served Nicholas. About 8 weeks they announced their engagement after they met. As well as in the center of August there was clearly a wedding.

Prepare yourself by having a … language!

It is really not a key that the part that is biggest of Asian individuals just isn’t good in English, it is provoked by their priorities. Parts of asia are well-known by their industry. As a result of the modernization that is successful of economies they offer the entire world market contemporary automobiles, electronic devices, clothes along with other high-quality services and products. As a guideline, women strive in the home. They will have many things to complete but almost no time for learning new languages. That’s the reason never suspect your possible bride that is asian be an expert free online dating sites in English. To the contrary, you will need to assist her and she will be successful, make sure!

On the other hand, you’ll get several things which are more essential than language: simple character, tenderness, love and care. Seems perfect, does it not?

Most suitable partner for the bride that is asian

But try not to flake out! Asian girls make choice ones in their life, that is the reason the entire process of selecting an just one man – their spouse – is quite scrupulous and important. In a few countries that are asian remain physical violence in a family group. Guy enables beating their spouse, prohibiting her doing one thing she likes or making her doing one thing she does not want. Unfortunately, but real. This is exactly why Asian singles are searching for a foreigner looking to obtain a respect that is elementary a household life. They look at your character at firs when they make their choice. If you would like make an Asian girl your spouse, you will need to follow some things they like.

To start with – demonstrate to them that you’re an easy-going sort of individual. For you to cheer her up that you like to joke and it is not a problem. Even though you chat online, you will need to make her online bride laugh that is asian.

Be active – do not stay apart and inquire your Asian bride about her work, hobbies, her buddies and passions in life. You certainly will show that this woman is a person that is interesting you. Also remember to inform her about your self. Be opened to check out the outcomes!

Make shocks – purchase plants, some gifts, compose or inform her compliments. Each one of these things that are romantic overcome any heart of any woman.

Learn – before a romantic date by having A asian girl read some facts about her nation, tradition, basic nationwide perspective and tradition. Show it was important for you that you were waiting for this date and.

It isn’t a simple option for an Asian woman to get the only 1 for the entire life, and it’s also perhaps maybe not impossible inside their indigenous nations. This is exactly why they opt to look for a partner through the net. Online dating sites – seems strange, but it surely works! Just How? We have been prepared to tell you!

Where it is best to locate a wife that is asian

In this busy globe each day is very important and each moment is reasonable. Among the best inventions for individuals may be the online additionally the most useful invention for folks that need to find an international spouse is definitely an Asian mail order bride web sites. It really is a massive internet platform that connects individuals from various nations within one simply simply click. Here are a few features of this event.

Unpredictable acquaintanceships: often it is extremely difficult to acquire a spouse in town your home is, more over, it appears impractical to walk down the roads and satisfy a lady of one’s fantasy from another continent. However it is maybe not a nagging issue whenever you sign in web sites of Asian brides. There there is any woman from any right section of Asia, say her digital ‘hello’ while making, at the very least, your buddy.

Web web web Sites allow you to save your valuable time. You have to do just one click – to see a lot of Asian brides that want to get a man that is western. See their pages and realize climate you wish to ask a few of them for a night out together or otherwise not. a choice that is numerous of feamales in the world-wide-web is really a discover for folks who appreciate the full time.

You’re free in your decision. That she is not a person you are looking for, it is not a problem to tell her and feel yourself comfortable if you live in America, communicate with an Asian mail order bride, but understand. What exactly is an opportunity in your city or even country that you meet her?

Good chance to view a complete great deal of Asian brides. You’ll never fulfill therefore many girls at one spot with figures you want. There are not any structures – it is possible to compose and keep in touch with as numerous mail purchase brides you up as you wish and no one will harry. Finding a spouse is an extremely essential option in a life, so you should really be cautious!

Check out most useful online that is asian web-sites:

ThaiLoveLinks: this web site will support you in finding a woman from Thailand. A lot more than 1.5 million users through the whole globe prove that this web site is worth trusting.

JapanCupid : you are able to reckon that this web site is for Japanese enthusiasts. The one that is biggest with an effective tale – it really is a high probability to get your ideal wife!

CherryBlossoms.com: significantly more than 40 years this mail purchase connects that are web-site from Asia and European countries or western. It unites all nationalities as a result of the effortless solution and diversity that is huge.

You will find great deal of Asian mail order bride sites that suggests you many different girls from different nations. Also they are looking for an ideal spouse, so don’t remain apart and commence at this time! online dating sites is similar to a brand new trend for those who desire to be satisfied with a kind of person who is the greatest for them, with no matter the nation, irrespective of the nationality – nowadays there aren’t any obstacles on the road to family life that is happy!

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[carrieadenblog]

Asian brides – who’re they and where they may be discovered

Asian brides – who’re they and where they may be discovered

There’s nothing eternal inside our life and love – particularly. Individuals, whom as soon as have actually unsuccessful in love, are seeking a fresh yet another cautiously. They would like to see nearby an attractive, young, nice but calm and girls that are easy-going. There is certainly a viewpoint that Asian brides will be the best variation for such variety of guys since they combine beauty, complaisance and single fidelity.

In line with the outcomes of sociological research in Facebook and on online dating sites, in the last few years into the entire world that is civilized males choose to get knowledgeable about Asians more frequently than with representatives of other nationalities. Psychologists and ethnographers explain this kind of occurrence of interest in Asian ladies by the undeniable fact that those in the majority maintained their adherence to patriarchal relations.

Asian spouse will never ever enable by herself to humiliate her spouse. She’s going to never ever talk about some facts from her friends to your family life. Asian woman is hardworking and persistent – she works and studies obstinately and does not just forget about her home and family members. She attempts to not ever interfere inside her husbands’ relationships along with his ex-girlfriends, loved ones and buddies. In the event that you liked this features in Asian woman, it’s right time to find out about Asian nationality and become prepared to find the one you love!

Asian bride along with her traditions and perspective

It is extremely tough to speak about the specifics of this mindset, particularly such groups as mindset to life while the creation of a household, but there are facts that allocate Asian woman from European. Check out of these.

Attitude to life: perhaps the many uneducated Asian brides appear to be wiser than numerous girls with high-education and years of life experience backwards. Their intuitive experience of nature and belief in Jesus make Asian females relaxed, smiling, accepting to start with by themselves additionally the form of individual they stumbled on this globe. They recognize that there is another thing independent of the real globe and they don’t require proofs and rational justifications with this reality. They just just take everything easy this is exactly why Asian spouse is an excellent option for a person who really really really loves relaxed and moderate life.

Family values: you can find no age limits for Asian women in a concern – when it’s a time that is right them to discover a beloved, to become a spouse and also to provide delivery. Asian females love being with someone strong nearby and hate loneliness. Which is why they have been much compromised and attempt to keep her family members in love and tenderness throughout the very existence. Divorce in Asia is a tremendously uncommon event. right Here, it really is commonly thought that wedding is certainly one for life. Also, Asian bride will be really thrilled to bestow you plenty of kids, because a tremendously big family members is among the primary tradition in parts of asia.

Spot when you look at the culture: Asian ladies are maybe perhaps not individualists; these are typically scared of being alone, for this reason family additionally the collective – buddies, family relations, neighbors etc. are essential for them. They’re not going to risk these folks and also this interaction, therefore before carefully deciding Asian girls will think hard and recognize just exactly how their actions will influence every thing and everybody whom is sensible for them.

What exactly is a key of Asian beauty?

A beauty that is special of girls makes crazy lots of guys all over the globe. Something that is noticed in the beginning is a locks of Asian woman. Very very Long, brilliant, healthy ladies locks is extremely appealing for males from various nations. maybe Not advanced hairdos, but simply right hair that is native. You certainly will barely find an Asian woman having a haircut that is short. Long locks ended up being and it is nevertheless being stylish even today. Additionally, girls test out along with of these locks, but choose normal colors.

Eastern beauties are strikingly distinctive from Europeans. The look of them is seen as a some features. Narrowly planted eyes – this might be one of several primary plus of this girls of Asian look. Seductive and mystical, they fascinate, captivate the males’s hearts and, needless to say, never ever keep their owner without envious sights associated with other girls.

Light, impeccable porcelain epidermis from the Ancient times ended up being an indication that its owner is one of the greater estates. There clearly was a conclusion: just poor Asian woman invested a lot of the time into the dirty atmosphere and conditions, therefore precisely these were thought to have darker epidermis. This opinion that is traditional till nowadays and Asian girls also just simply take umbrellas anywhere each goes to get hide through the sunlight also to save your self their ‘porcelain’ epidermis.

Slim and figure that is beautiful also essential for just about any guy, and precisely Asian women is pleased with their gift from nature: fragile, timid, soft-gaited. No-one can encounter without considering this kind of unique woman. Asian brides look closely at whatever they drink and eat. As an example, they don’t really drink cold water, since it means they are fat, for this reason they choose hot beverages and natural tea.

Asian brides – unpredictable and different

Let us begin to see the distinction among stunning Asian ladies.

Japanese: the facial skin for the Japanese woman gets the model of an elongated egg-shaped, a huge nose and enormous eyes having a wide incision. The contemporary Japanese includes a bigger mind as compared to Korean and Chinese. Japanese females constantly make an effort to whiten their skin, generally there is often a cure that is special their aesthetic case because of this. But also without this, their skin may be the whitest among all Asians.

Chinese: the Chinese have face that is round broad cheekbones. Chinese girls have actually the skin that is darkest these three nationalities. With this good reason, they do not sunbathe not to ever enable their skin become darker.

Koreans: their face is flat, with a high cheekbones of square type. Typical Koreans have actually thinner noses than their Chinese and neighbors that are japanese.

‘Asian girl is a perfect spouse’ – psychologists

The image of faithful domestic Asian spouse is popularized worldwide more and much more every year. Asian mail purchase brides web web web sites be a little more popular and singles that are asian more desirable. But exactly what is really a key of Asian lady? Psychologists give an explanation for sensation of therefore popular Asian females because of the proven fact that they’re a demonstration that is perfect of intercourse. Any guy really wants to function as mind of this household and bride that is asian give him all chances become it. It is a old-fashioned belief and each Asian woman is taught this from her youth: leading part within the family members is provided to spouse.

Guys in Europe are sick and tired of feminism plus the imposition of “gender equality”. One way to displace the “normal state of affairs” for them is a spouse from under developed nations, where in actuality the man will continue to take over both in the home plus in culture. That is the reason Asian brides are incredibly desirable and start thinking about being the perfect spouse of any guy.

But, possibly, the explanation that is simplest associated with the sensation of Asian spouses is more primitive – product well-being. Typical domestic things for European woman may be luxurious conditions for the Asian and her kids. Also maybe maybe maybe not rich man will get a status associated with the most useful one when you look at the eyes of their beloved girl for just a little cash. Your wife that is asian will your character significantly more than material around, also it is practical in a household life.

But even cookbooks make women that are asian popular! It, in addition to the dishes of your national cuisine, and Italian and Spanish, which are also traditional, you will find… guess, whose cuisine when you buy? bowls of exactly exactly what nation occupy a place that is solid the information? Asian, needless to say! meals with rice, veggies and seafood not just look attractive in images, but additionally are promoted as being a supply of healthy, full-fledged life, male energy and feminine beauty. The capability of Asian spouse to cook all of these meals (plus popular sushi or the soy sauce) is an extraordinary proud for a husband. However the most enjoyable part of their tale really is easy – each men comes home home from a difficult workday with a larger pleasure if he understands that worldwide-known do-it-yourself delicious dinner is waiting around for him for a dining room table.

Known couples having A asian spouses

Statistic says that the most frequent wedding among interracial partners is wedding from a European or West guy and A asian girl. The following is a summary of highly successful people (including billionaires, actors, politicians) married to Asian women.

Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg. The bride associated with the youngest billionaire associated with the earth (Mark’s present status appears at $ 13.5 billion) is their longtime buddy Priscilla Chan. They nevertheless being together since 2004. Based on Mark, convenience may be the quality which he appreciates in Priscilla probably the most.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The story that is renowned legendary individuals the most mystical also nowadays. Yoko showed up when Lennon’s life ended up being empty. He may have produced complete great deal of things, but he came across her. “Fate is exactly what happens for you, as you have actually definitely another plans,” John Lennon had written at their forty.

Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim. In August 2004, Nicolas Cage married for the 3rd time. His chosen one had been definately not the field of cinema – Cage hitched Alice, a sushi restaurant. Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim came across in February the exact same 12 months in a restaurant where Alice worked whenever she served Nicholas. About 8 weeks they announced their engagement after they met. As well as in the center of August there was clearly a wedding.

Prepare yourself by having a … language!

It is really not a key that the part that is biggest of Asian individuals just isn’t good in English, it is provoked by their priorities. Parts of asia are well-known by their industry. As a result of the modernization that is successful of economies they offer the entire world market contemporary automobiles, electronic devices, clothes along with other high-quality services and products. As a guideline, women strive in the home. They will have many things to complete but almost no time for learning new languages. That’s the reason never suspect your possible bride that is asian be an expert free online dating sites in English. To the contrary, you will need to assist her and she will be successful, make sure!

On the other hand, you’ll get several things which are more essential than language: simple character, tenderness, love and care. Seems perfect, does it not?

Most suitable partner for the bride that is asian

But try not to flake out! Asian girls make choice ones in their life, that is the reason the entire process of selecting an just one man – their spouse – is quite scrupulous and important. In a few countries that are asian remain physical violence in a family group. Guy enables beating their spouse, prohibiting her doing one thing she likes or making her doing one thing she does not want. Unfortunately, but real. This is exactly why Asian singles are searching for a foreigner looking to obtain a respect that is elementary a household life. They look at your character at firs when they make their choice. If you would like make an Asian girl your spouse, you will need to follow some things they like.

To start with – demonstrate to them that you’re an easy-going sort of individual. For you to cheer her up that you like to joke and it is not a problem. Even though you chat online, you will need to make her online bride laugh that is asian.

Be active – do not stay apart and inquire your Asian bride about her work, hobbies, her buddies and passions in life. You certainly will show that this woman is a person that is interesting you. Also remember to inform her about your self. Be opened to check out the outcomes!

Make shocks – purchase plants, some gifts, compose or inform her compliments. Each one of these things that are romantic overcome any heart of any woman.

Learn – before a romantic date by having A asian girl read some facts about her nation, tradition, basic nationwide perspective and tradition. Show it was important for you that you were waiting for this date and.

It isn’t a simple option for an Asian woman to get the only 1 for the entire life, and it’s also perhaps maybe not impossible inside their indigenous nations. This is exactly why they opt to look for a partner through the net. Online dating sites – seems strange, but it surely works! Just How? We have been prepared to tell you!

Where it is best to locate a wife that is asian

In this busy globe each day is very important and each moment is reasonable. Among the best inventions for individuals may be the online additionally the most useful invention for folks that need to find an international spouse is definitely an Asian mail order bride web sites. It really is a massive internet platform that connects individuals from various nations within one simply simply click. Here are a few features of this event.

Unpredictable acquaintanceships: often it is extremely difficult to acquire a spouse in town your home is, more over, it appears impractical to walk down the roads and satisfy a lady of one’s fantasy from another continent. However it is maybe not a nagging issue whenever you sign in web sites of Asian brides. There there is any woman from any right section of Asia, say her digital ‘hello’ while making, at the very least, your buddy.

Web web web Sites allow you to save your valuable time. You have to do just one click – to see a lot of Asian brides that want to get a man that is western. See their pages and realize climate you wish to ask a few of them for a night out together or otherwise not. a choice that is numerous of feamales in the world-wide-web is really a discover for folks who appreciate the full time.

You’re free in your decision. That she is not a person you are looking for, it is not a problem to tell her and feel yourself comfortable if you live in America, communicate with an Asian mail order bride, but understand. What exactly is an opportunity in your city or even country that you meet her?

Good chance to view a complete great deal of Asian brides. You’ll never fulfill therefore many girls at one spot with figures you want. There are not any structures – it is possible to compose and keep in touch with as numerous mail purchase brides you up as you wish and no one will harry. Finding a spouse is an extremely essential option in a life, so you should really be cautious!

Check out most useful online that is asian web-sites:

ThaiLoveLinks: this web site will support you in finding a woman from Thailand. A lot more than 1.5 million users through the whole globe prove that this web site is worth trusting.

JapanCupid : you are able to reckon that this web site is for Japanese enthusiasts. The one that is biggest with an effective tale – it really is a high probability to get your ideal wife!

CherryBlossoms.com: significantly more than 40 years this mail purchase connects that are web-site from Asia and European countries or western. It unites all nationalities as a result of the effortless solution and diversity that is huge.

You will find great deal of Asian mail order bride sites that suggests you many different girls from different nations. Also they are looking for an ideal spouse, so don’t remain apart and commence at this time! online dating sites is similar to a brand new trend for those who desire to be satisfied with a kind of person who is the greatest for them, with no matter the nation, irrespective of the nationality – nowadays there aren’t any obstacles on the road to family life that is happy!

from John Malkovich https://ift.tt/2JIS8iQ via IFTTT

[rtscrndr53704]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[stormdoors78476]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[exfrenchdorsl4p0a1]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[pat78701]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[porchenclose10019]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[rtawngs20815]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[chpatdoorsl3z0a1]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[repwincoml4a0a5]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[repwinpril9y0a1]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

The post Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2qM6pUI

[grgedoors02142]

Tearing down the house: How to handle social media haters

By Mark Schaefer

I live in a quaint lake community where there is a mix of new, modern homes and cottages built in the 1960s and 70s. As the value of lake land goes up, we are seeing many of these smaller houses being torn down to make away for a bigger and more modern structure.

Such was the case this week when a house on the other side of my cove was torn down. I am guessing it probably took four or five months to build that house many years ago … maybe longer … but to my amazement, it was torn down in just two days. This big backhoe came in and just knocked it right down to rubble.

I thought that this was an accurate analogy for life on the web. It’s always a lot faster tearing things down than building them up. That’s why negative comments and trolls on the web hurt so much. We may build a reputation over a long period of time only to dwell on the negative, and perhaps even let one single negative incident define us … or destroy us.

About a year ago, I was coaching a young man who became distraught over negative comments directed at him on the web. The harsh comments came from one person and he simply could not let them go. Nothing I could say to him would get him un-stuck. He became so obsessed by these criticisms that he literally disappeared from the web for several months.

Seth Godin, one of the most well-known and accomplished marketing experts on the planet, once explained that he removed comments from his blog because he became obsessed with every negative remark. Business advisor Gary Vaynerchuk said that no matter how much success he’s had, the negative comments still hurt.

Even when you’re famous, you’re still human. Hate hurts.

Keeping hate in perspective

One of the most common things you see around the web is “haters gonna hate,” or “ignore the haters.” Easier said than done. Does anybody really ignore the haters?

The reality is, the bigger you become on the web, the bigger target you become. I’m sure you’ve seen many blog posts encouraging you to create content that:

Takes a stand

Advocates a new position

Comments on other posts or articles

Is highly original

If you do those things, you will certainly stand out. And if you stand out, you will eventually attract criticism. It’s almost a sign of success. So here is the weird thing, if you do a good job, some people will probably hate you for it.

There are lots of blog posts out there listing steps on how to deal with haters but I wanted to do something different. Here are 12 of my favorite quotes on how real human beings deal with haters in their lives.

James Altucher, author, self-help columnist

Realize that behind anger there is fear. Something is going on in their lives that is bringing up a fear. And they indulge the fear by having an anger towards you. By projecting their own fear onto you. For a brief moment, you become the monster that has been hiding onside of them. Anger is just fear indulged.

Chris Brogan, blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur

I have haters and spies. The humor is, I’m just over here doing my thing. I’m making mistakes at times. I’m doing good things other times. I’m right out here being me and working on my stuff.  The haters and spies spend all kinds of time and energy, comparing notes, sharing information, and postulating and speculating.

I’m just working on me, my relationships, and my business. Keep hating and spying. I’ll keep posting things for you to share and speculate on. Don’t worry about your own lives. Those mustn’t be as interesting. I’ll do some things to keep mine more interesting for you.

Tina Fey, actress, writer

“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLacrosse, you can suck it. DianeFan, you can suck it. Cougar Letter, you can really suck it ’cause you’ve been after me all year. And to my husband Jeff, I love you and thank you.” (Golden Globes acceptance speech)

Mitch Joel, marketing executive, author

The Haters want things to stay the way they are/the way they were. Most businesspeople don’t want change and don’t want to change. They’re busy spending their time trying to figure out how to make the old ways of working work more effectively. New mental frameworks are always about trying to bring progress. Personally, that was always the vision of everything you see being published and the work I’m trying to do —  bring progress to the Marketing industry. The Haters aren’t looking for progress. The Haters are looking at the averages… and who wants to be average?

Tim Ferriss, author, speaker

“Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,”

Constance Wu, actress

“We didn’t get into this business to please the haters. We got into this to tell our stories because they matter and because honestly, these haters probably made us feel shame for these same stories when we were younger, but now we are older and have a firmer stance on this earth and in our own voices.”

Peg Fitzpatrick, author, blogger

“The biggest lesson that I learned is that if I don’t let it bother me, it goes away. Even when people write or say really mean things, and they will if you are pushing the envelope, it doesn’t matter. It is always a reflection on them. Most of these people don’t know you and they are just shooting out insults into the internet to get attention. Ignore it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, author, speaker, business leader

The only move is to be the bigger person. When people say, “Gary you’re so full of shit,” I jump in and say, “Explain to me why. What can I do?” The moment you acknowledge somebody else’s point of view, you’ve already made the conversation more of a positive for you. Haters, a lot of times, just want to be recognized. Twenty to thirty of my biggest fans started off as haters. What happens is they gain a lot of respect for your willingness to hear them out.

Jay Baer, author, speaker

“Regardless of who the hater is, I recommend responding publicly. Even if they rant and rave and call you names, you’ll answer coolly and publicly. It probably won’t change the behavior or attitude of that one person, as it’s almost impossible to turn a crazy lemon into lemonade; the fruit is already rotten. But by replying in public you show your temperament, your values, and your belief that all deserve to be heard.”

Dale Partridge, author, speaker, business coach

“Over the past several years, I’ve had two death threats and probably 5,000-10,000 hateful comments on social media. I’ve received emails, physical mail, and even voicemails from people telling me how stupid, ignorant, disgusting, and appalling I am to them.

“And while I’ve been told I have the skin of a rhinoceros, these vicious statements have left scars of my emotions. Online influence is not for the faint of heart.

“But over the years, I’ve learned the best way to respond to such people, is to not. To remind them that I am bigger than their hurtful immaturities and I will use my silence as an instrument of purposeful avoidance of their poor character.”

Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

“Well, when it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world. There are just some times you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down. You can’t be reading all that stuff. I mean, that’s like letting somebody just walk up and slap you, you know?  You would never just sit there and go, ‘Slap me in the face and I’m good with it.’ No. So why would you open yourself up to that?

“People won’t remember what other people say about you, but they will remember what you do … So when it came to this role, I just said, you know, let me just be First Lady. Let me wake up every day and work hard to do something of value, and to do it well, and to do something consequential, and to do something that I care about. And then let that speak for itself. And that would shut up the haters, because I would have a whole portfolio of stuff that defined me because it’s what I did, not what you called me.”

And finally …

Here’s a story I tell people who are struggling with hate directed at their content:

When George Washington became the first president of The United States, he was the most beloved man in the country. In fact, he might have been the most beloved man in the history of America. Artists of the day created sculptures of him in a toga, as if he were a Greek god.

By the end of his second year as president, the detractors had come out. He was criticized relentlessly by the press and by what became opposing political parties.

Isn’t that interesting? Even the most popular person in the history of our country had haters. Is it any surprise you would get some, too?

Having haters is part of a life lived to the fullest. You’re life isn’t defined by the hate, it’s defined by how you handle it.

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant.  The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world.  Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

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