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Shatter my soul
Summary : Harry has been suffering from an addiction and y/n decides to take time for herself or based on this ask
Pairing: rockstarboyfried!Harry x reader!y/n
Warnings: Angst
A/n: this piece turned so much better than I hoped for.
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When they decided to take time for themselves harry and y/n were in a rough spot with not only their 11 years long relationship but their entire life.
After being falsely accused and getting fired from her dream job, gave up any and all hope y/n had as she came home to her love only to find him passed out in the middle of the living room.
His cocaine addiction was getting out of hand so much that he almost died of overdose saved by y/n who decided to come home early for some reason.He swore to never touch that stuff again but there he was high off his mind as he mumbles incoherently lying on the floor a week later.
The next day after getting him sober y/n decided it was best for them to take a break to figure out themselves and their life as she can't stand by him hurting himself like that. Harry had his issues, stress eating him alive at every wake hour ,he decides it was better if he wasn't in his own mind. The cocaine he could easily get his hands on was just a massive perk for him.
It had been a month and half. Y/n got a job at a restaurant and works as a bartender at night. She moved back to her old appartment after their break up and had been doing well on her own. She missed harry a lot even though their good days were well past months she still loved him, still wanted to help him and show him that she was there for him no matter what. She just wished he was doing better too. After their first week of breakup harry had called her high as he mumbled how much he missed her and promised to be better she just hopes he kept his promise.
It was a month later when y/n was at her favourite arcade bar with her friends. The place was a little loud with drunk men drinking beers and shouting at the screens.
They were seated in a booth after a good round of beers and fun. She was mindlessly talking with her friend klara when the bartender calls her name.
Y/n walks to the bar and the bartender points to the payphone at the corner of the room.
They still got payphones
Y/n thinks to herself as she brings the phone to her ears. The first thing she hears is a sob which sends her into alert. "Hello?" She questions and the person on the other line replies "Baby, it's me.." he sobs out making y/n quiet as he continues "I'm getting sober. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'd do anything for you baby. Just want you back, want to love on you like you deserve" he says breathing hard as y/n finds her words.
"I'm so happy to hear that H. That's what I wanted for you." Y/n says a smile breaking on her face as she tries to calm him down but he doesn't he keeps crying which makes y/n a little scared because it would've been really hard for him to be doing this alone.
Y/n should've struck by him, isn't that what their relationship should have meant. She feels incredibly guilty for walking away when things got worse but she did it wishing for the best and maybe it kinda did work out in the end and now all she wanted was to be with him and show him how much she appreciates him doing this for her.
"I'm gonna be there okay? I'm so proud of you baby" y/n says ready to hang up the phone but harry breaths out before she could "No, no i....you can't....I want you to but" y/n cuts him off in worry "what's going on H?"
"I wrote you a letter"he says and the other end is quiet as he continues.
"I wrote it so I could get everything out. I think?" He sounded so unsure his voice raspier than usual. " It should be in your apartment" he adds and y/n says she would read it and come by his place before hanging up the phone.
She bids goodbye to her friends after explaining them about the situation and then waving her off with a concerned look on their face as y/n walks back to her apartment. She goes through all her mail and finds the one harry had sent. Her name and address on the envelope.
She opens it and it had two sheets folded inside it. She didn't know what to expect as she reads through it.
My love,
Today has been particularly hard without you by my side. My manager has been pressing me for the next album but how could I think about anything but you. It had been 8 weeks since I last heard your voice and I never knew how much it filled my life untill I couldn't hear it anymore and I think maybe that's what made me want to give up the drugs even if it feels like I'm drowning. I'd do it for you.
I still remember the tears in your eyes when you told me about you ex and how mad it made me. I wanted to bury him alive for hurting you like that. I never wanted to infect any kind of pain in you. I swore I never would when I saw the lack of trust in your eyes.
It killed me to see the smile on your face slowly fading away because of me. I wanted to hold you close and tell you I'd be back. We'll get all of the good times we had together back because that was what you deserved. But I couldn't save myself not for me but for you because you are everything i have left. The only person who stood by me through it all and maybe that's what made me realise I was nothing without when you left.
I was always honest with you even when I was out of my mind i tried to explain what I was feeling. I know you blamed yourself that you couldn't help me but this was my own battle and you were the warrior in the front ready to kill anyone even though you didn't have to. You were always there for me and I'm really sorry if I wasn't baby. Because
You deserve better than that.
You deserve someone who would be there for you.
You deserve someone who would stay true to their promises.
You deserve someone who would stay good for you.
You deserve better than me.
You deserve every happiness in this world.
She is at the end of the page her soul shattered with each word when a knock on the door pulls her out. She has a few tears falling down her cheeks. She wips them off before opening the door to find her close friend klara.
"Hey , what ar-" y/n is cut off as klara bursts "I need to tell you something"
"Oh okay, come on in" y/n opens the door wider to let her in but klara shakes her head as she continues "No, I just need to tell you this....i" she's breathless and y/n patiently waits for her to continue.
"I slept with harry" she says after a few deafening seconds which stretches to minutes after the words are out.
"It was stupid and I was drunk and it just happened. We were both out of our minds and we didn't know what was happening. I'm really sorry y/n. I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry"
Y/n is still as she listens to her ramble. All of y/n's friends hated harry something about him not treating her right while he was the total opposite. She never knew why that was but to hear her bestfriend had slept with her boyfriend of years cut deep into her poor heart and the stabs just kept coming.
"It happened a few months ago and I couldn't stop myself from going back. I didn't mean for it to happen y/n you have to believe me" klara begs her eyes welled up with tears.
Y/n couldn't stop herself from thinking how much of a fool she was for thinking all those nail marks on his shoulder, love bites on his jaw and chest were from her when she knew it wasn't. The woman's perfumes he used to smell like made her realise it wasn't just Klara. And one thought kept haunting her mind as she stands on her doorway.
Had she really been that delusional ?
A/n: I think I just broke my own heart 😭. Who wants a part 2?
Read part 2 here
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#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#writer#harry styles smut#romance#scenarios#liam payne#louis tomilson#niall horan#one direction#harry styles smile#harry smut#harrys house#harry styles reader insert#harry styles x reader#harry styles dirty one shot#harry styles hair#harry styles writing#yn#harry x y/n#ceo
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honestly? I'm broken
#harry styles#harry icons#harry gif#then and now#harry styles hair#harrys house#harry's house#harry fetus#harry styles pictures#harry styles icons#gif harry styles#lockscreens harry styles#harry#louis tomlinson#louis icons#larry stylinson
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new era unlocked
#harry styles#harry#hs#baby#one direction#1d#harry styles hair#long hair harry#prince harry#frat boy harry#fetus harry#buzz cut harry#bald harry
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Shedding Memories
A/N: just a quick fic of running into Harry when you both need a friend. I wrote this p quickly so ignore any mistakes. Happy holidays everyone :)
———————————
The part I liked about getting the closing shift was that I could put on my music and completely zone out.
Dealing with the public was a shitty job, no matter the capacity, and zoning out let me compose myself before heading home.
But tonight, a customer stays hunched in the corner seat. I had called out to everyone 15 minutes ago that we were closing in a half hour and by now nearly everyone was gone. The last few people pack up, yet corner guy remains.
“Hi,” I say from behind him. “We’re closing very soon just wanted to let you know.”
“Yep. I’ll be off soon,” he says. His voice is rough and low, a slight accent to it. But he kinda mumbles so I could be imagining it.
But he’s not off soon. I put up all the chairs, lock the doors to anyone new, and wipe down the tables. It’s officially 10pm but the guy’s ass is as glued as it was when he first sat down.
I don’t know how long he’d been here for actually. I got in at 5 and he’d been there with a steaming cup of something. But he just stayed there save for one refill, all evening.
Was he homeless? I examine his hoodie and baggy jeans. They seemed more stylish than survival.
“Hi s’cuse me sir,” I drop the customer service voice a notch and stand next to him. He was really putting a wrench in my evening plans. “I’m sorry to kick you out but it is 10 which is when we close. So I do have to ask you to leave.”
God I hated this shit. Why couldn’t he just leave like a normal person!? And tonight of all nights I’d told my closing partner he could leave early for a date night. I wish I hadn’t. It would’ve felt safer kicking this guy out with another dude around.
“Sorry,” the guy says. His face is mostly covered by his hoodie and he turns away to pull something from his pocket. I watch wearily but it’s just his phone. He sighs and puts it face down. “Is there any chance I can stay here while you clean up?”
“I’m sorry no.” I wasn’t allowed to do that. “Is your phone dead? You can use ours if you need to call for someone?”
He sighs again, like he alone was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and I just wasn’t being understanding enough.
Stop judging so much, I chide myself. Maybe he has a tough life.
“Look, I…” I stop mid-sentence and my mouth stays in the shape of the vowel as he lifts his head up. Is it just me or did he look like global pop-sensation and former boy band member Harry Styles!?
He notices my expression and grimaces.
Okay, it had to be him. And I was acting like a total freak right now.
“Sorry.” I take a step back and bump into the broom I’d balanced on the chair behind me. It clatters to the floor and I jump.
“It’s alright,” he leans down and picks it up for me. Harry Styles was handing me the broom I was meant to close with. I was dreaming. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”
“Are you…in trouble?” I couldn’t wrap my head around why a guy like him would spend the whole evening in the corner of a coffee shop, staring at the wall. And then ask to stay while I closed.
He looks at me for a beat, his eyes are every bit intense as I assumed they would be. In real life, his beauty is a lot more breathtaking than photos. Or maybe I was just having some sort of breakdown. And he’s at least 7 inches taller than me, so he towers over me and I feel nothing but intimidated.
“Fuck. Sorry. Wait.” I shake my head. I have to look away from him. I had to clear my head!
I walk with the broom to the register. “Stop acting like a weirdo!” I whisper to myself.
Harry Styles was in my coffee shop. I was alone with Harry Styles in my coffee shop. What the hell was this? Wattpad?
I turn back around, but he’s looking out the window.
“Sorry. I’m being super weird right now but I wasn’t expecting…you. To be the guy I’m trying to kick out!”
“It’s fine.” He turns back to me.
“I don’t want to be nosy and pry but um, is everything okay? Did you need…help?”
His face loosens a bit with a small smile. I look past him so I can continue having this conversation and not require an inhaler for the first time in my life.
“It would help if I can stay here while you clean up actually.”
“Yeah! Okay…I mean I’m not supposed to but you’re like, Harry Styles? I’m sure my manager would not mind a single bit. She plays your songs all the time it’s basically part of onboarding. By the time we know all the drinks on the menu we also know all your lyrics and I….I’m gonna shut up.”
I turn back with the broom and start sweeping. Was I too awkward? Was I even sweeping like a normal person? Oh god was I being too stiff. Did I forget how to sweep???
I pause.
Maybe I should ask him another question. Maybe-
“I don’t want to get you in trouble uhm-,” I turn and he’s speaking to me 10 feet away. He squints at my name tag.
“Y/N.” I say it for him.
“Y/N. I can leave if I’m gonna get you in trouble-“
“No. No it’s okay! Seriously just sit wherever. But I will put on my own music while I close up, and you’ll have to suffer through it.”
“I don’t consider listening to music suffering.” He jokes. He makes a joke! With me!
“Well then you’ll love Baby Shark,” I joke back. He tilts his head—the joke doesn’t land. “Bad joke. Nevermind. I’m a Phoebe Bridgers fan so just prepare to be in your feelings!”
“I love her,” Harry nods approvingly. “Play on.”
As Phoebe’s distinct voice plays through the speakers I find myself relaxing, mouthing the words, and getting lost in the closing up routine. Of course, I never forget Harry Styles was sitting in the corner. If I did I would be belting the songs out loud. But it starts to feels less dreamy and the randomness begins to flatline to normal.
“Okay, I’m just gonna toss these out.” I shake the unglamorous bags of trash in my hands a half hour later. “And then I’m kicking both of us out.”
“Let me give you a hand.” Before I could protest Harry freaking Styles takes the trashbag from my hand and walks to the back door.
“Whaaaat,” I whisper to myself before scurrying behind him.
He tosses it with ease. I’m sure he had amazing arms under that baggy hoodie of his. He could probably toss me as easily—
I needed to chill.
“Do you have a ride?” I ask as we wash hands. “I can give you a lift somewhere? Unless your car’s outside? Um. Yeah. You probably have your own car nevermind.”
He’s silent, maybe I needed to shut up and stop blabbering.
“I take it you haven’t seen the news.” He leans back against the counter, drying his hands.
“News? Do people still watch that?” Bad joke. Stop talking.
“Uh,” his eyes crinkle slightly. “Social media. Whatever.”
“Nope. Been a busy day.”
“Right…”
“Something happened right? That’s why you’re hiding out here.”
“Yep,” he nods.
“Did your nudes leak or something?”
He looks at me, one brow raised. Fuck! I feel the blood rush to my face.
“Sorry! I am so out of my depth right now and I don’t know why I said that! That was bad. It’s just the worst thing that came to mind I-“
I register his shoulders shaking at first and then he’s doubling over laughing. I stare at first but then I chuckle with him. I’m too nervous to actually laugh at whatever’s happening even though I know looking back I definitely will.
“That’s alright,” he’s grinning when he looks back up. I would be mesmerized by it if his hood hadn’t slipped back to reveal no fucking hair.
“What…is that…?”
“What?” When I point to his head he touches it. He seems to remember himself. “Oh. I forgot I’d done that.”
“That’s new? Is that what’s out there? Is that why you’re hiding?”
“It’s not really new. I cut it all off yesterday-“
“I think you did more than cut it.” It was basically buzzed.
He laughs again and I feel bubbly inside. The bubbles fill me with a weird energy—just as long as it didn’t bubble up out of my mouth and come out in babbling I didn’t have to worry. I cover my mouth to contain any nervous words just in case.
“Why are you covering your mouth? Is it that bad?”
He looks into the warped reflection on the coffee machine. It didn’t look bad.
“It’s different. You’re known for your hair y’know? It’s not bad…just wow. Different.”
“Different’s not bad?”
“No! We’ll just need to get used to it. Honestly you kind of pull the whole buzzed look off. I bet if you grew out like a proper moustache it could be really…”
Thank god I stop myself this time. Because I was going to say a word I would definitely be mortified by.
“Really?” He smirks.
“Cool.” I finish lamely. “So um. Anyway. Are you good or should I drive you somewhere? Are you in trouble with the police or something?”
“I could use a ride…” He says with a slight cringe. “Is that something you’re alright doing?”
“Yeah! I was just gonna go home and stuff my face with leftovers before falling asleep in front of like, Gilmore Girls or something.”
“That’s a good show. That sounds like a nice time actually.”
“Does it? Because I regretted saying it as soon as it came out of my mouth.”
“Do you have a filter?” He asks but he smiles, he wasn’t annoyed. Not yet at least.
“Usually. But I also don’t normally have casual conversations with people I only ever see on the news or on my phone.”
“Do people still watch the news?”
It dawns on me slowly, he was making fun of me and repeating the question I asked earlier. I cover my face with my hands and he laughs. It’s such an intoxicating sound. And I really want to stop feeling like an idiot.
“I’m just bothering you,” hands come down on my wrist and oh my fuck he was touching me! He tugs at my hands and I drop them, still unable to meet his eyes.
I stuff my hands in my pocket. “I know. I’m probably going to lie awake for hours tonight thinking about every embarrassing thing that’s come out of my mouth.”
“No look,” he steps in front of me. He puts his hands on his chest and I notice the rings on his fingers, his tattoos. This was really Harry Styles in front of me.
“No look at me.” He tries to get my attention again. “See, I’m just a person. Just like you. Yeah I sing and shit but I’m just a guy.”
“You say that like I don’t have the world’s worst history with guys.” I finally make the push to look up into his face. I had an even worse history with attractive guys. “But I understand what you’re trying to achieve. And I appreciate it. You’re just shmegular and I can stop being a weirdo.”
“My phone works.” He says suddenly. “I just turned it off because I have a million people calling and texting me for some sort of response.”
I don’t reply, unsure where he was going.
He didn’t really have to make all this effort to make me comfortable but I recognize why he’s doing it; trying to bring himself down to earth for me. And it’s sweet and endearing and I want to tell him he didn’t have to do that. That I would help him out even if he wrote me a note, simply because he was Harry freaking Styles. But I just stay quiet for the first time tonight.
“Someone leaked pap photos of my girlfriend cheating on me.”
I gasp, I can’t help it. “I’m sorry. Harry. I-That’s an awful fucking way to find out.”
“It…” he glances around as if we weren’t the only two people around. “I shouldn’t be saying this but. It was just for show. The relationship, I mean. The guy in the photo’s her actual boyfriend so I don’t really care. Never wanted to do this fake shite in the first place but I was kinda forced to by my management. It promoted my new single, and her new show or whatever.”
“Oh.” I guess that’s the way his world worked. My world was begging my coworker to change shifts with me so I could have my weekly mental breakdown in private.
“Yep. So everyone is expecting me to give a statement, play the part of jilted boyfriend, but I can’t be arsed by any of it. I just want everyone to leave me alone.”
“So you holed up in the corner of this coffee shop, and stared at that wall for the last like…how many hours?”
“I lost count.” He shrugs. “And I did have a book I was reading. I wasn’t just staring at the wall.”
I shrug, “I’m not judging. I stare at the wall a lot. Especially on my breaks.”
He laughs again, and it breaks the serious air around his story.
“So where am I taking you if you’re avoiding everyone? Do you have a hotel room or?”
“It’s probably swimming in paps.” He sighs.
“So wild idea. I have a couple roommates who are supposed to be out tonight. Do you want to stay at my place until you feel like answering your phone?”
His face looks so hopeful for a second. “No. I can’t do that to you.”
“Remember when I detailed my evening plans? It’s honestly nothing.”
He gets all broody as he shakes his head. “No. I don’t want to drag you into it-“
“Look you’re in disguise. I live far away from whatever hotel you can afford that no one will see you. And I can drop you off on a street corner tomorrow morning whenever you want.”
“Like a hooker?”
“Yeah. We can play reverse pretty woman.”
He smiles. I stare.
“Fine. Yeah. Alright.”
“Alright! Let me turn out the light and we’ll go.”
So that’s how I find myself driving Harry Styles to my apartment, realizing the closer we get to home how filthy I had left my room.
“Don’t judge please,” I say in the elevator up. “But our apartment is not magazine worthy. It’s just home.”
“Home sounds nice,” he says. His hoodie’s back up and covering most of his face. It feels silly talking to him like this.
“Stay here,” I instruct him when we walk in. I zip into my room, it’s not as bad as it could be but I move all the dirty laundry to the hamper, gather the papers on my desk in one pile, shove my makeup back into a drawer, and gather as many empty cans and glasses into my hands to take back to the kitchen.
When I go back to him he’s standing exactly where I left him.
“Okay. So I only have leftovers. Chinese. Are you hungry? I can order us something else or-“
“No that sounds perfect.”
“Does it?” I tell him to come in and he follows me to the kitchen, sitting down at the island as I pull plates and containers out. “Okay just fill your plate and I’ll heat it up. Are you sure this is alright?”
“You’ll be surprised at my diet when I’m on tour. It starts out good but by the end of it I want to get my stomach pumped for all the shite I put into it. This looks delicious.”
I dish out dinner for us and decline his request to help. I try not to be hyperaware of him watching me move around our small kitchen, and focus on thinking of him as a guest. That’s it.
“So um, why the haircut?” I ask as I carry the plates to my room. I had the biggest room in the house and by biggest that simply meant I could afford a queen sized bed and my closet could fit all my clothes. I’d been living here for the last year and a half with my two roommates.
“Eh,” he runs his hand over his head. I was really tempted to do it, see what it felt like. But I refrain. Obviously. “Turning over a new leaf? In a lot of cultures, hair symbolizes a lot. I felt like starting fresh, and getting rid of all of it would just help.”
“Yeah I’ve heard of that. Like the hair that’s grown has witnessed everything over the last few years—at least if you grow it long enough to last a few years.”
“Hm yeah,” he says between bites. I can’t believe Harry Styles was eating last night’s leftovers with me. “Exactly.”
“Maybe I should chop most of my hair off.” I muse. “I could use that new leaf shit.”
“Why?” Harry asks bluntly. I nearly choke on a piece of broccoli. “Sorry. I’m being the nosy one aren’t I?”
“No,” I clear my throat. “Just wasn’t expecting it.”
“You don’t have to answer.” He smiles, god did he have to look so charming? “But I’d love to know what memories your hair holds.”
Damn. He had a way with words.
He’s an artist, I think. Duh.
“Let’s see.” I hold the bottom few inches. “Quitting my fancy job because I was burnt out and going through an existential crisis.” I climb higher and hold the next few inches. “Traumatic breakup with my long-term guy. How could a lawyer date a barista after she’d been a doctor y’know? A power couple can’t include a lowly job like a barista.” I roll my eyes like I wasn’t going to cry all over again, and hold another inch. “And this here is me grieving everything I thought my life was going to be.”
He’s silent for a bit. I think I’ve actually shocked him into silence. I almost laugh.
He puts his plate down and leans over, topping the top of my head. “This?”
The spot where he touched my head thrums. I think about the last year of my life. “Realizing my identity isn’t my career. And that for the first time in my life I can pursue my passions.”
“Hm.” He nods. “That’s a good realization.”
“Yeah, it really was for me.”
“I don’t have any boundaries between my identity and my life…” he goes silent again. I know he’s thinking so it doesn’t feel awkward. I go back to my dinner.
“So what’s the passion you’re pursuing?” He asks. Probably to change the subject.
“Well…” I put my plate down and walk to my closet, sliding open the door. I point to the floor. His face scrunches and he gets up to get a closer look.
“Do you sing or something?” He asks.
“God no!” I laugh. I guess he would think that seeing the blanket, laptop table, and microphone. “I started a podcast and it’s soundproof in here. I love this little space actually.”
“A podcast?!” He looks at me, impressed. I try not to blush. “What about?”
“Um, well I do know my medical shit—studied it for years and all. But it’s about taking care of ourselves, giving advice to people, burnout, identities, everything I learned leaving my job. All that.”
“Wow.” He nods thoughtfully. “That’s amazing.”
I shrug and go back to sitting on my bed, taking another bite of my dinner.
“Do you get a lot of listens?”
“I have a couple hundred listeners.” I tell him. “Actually. At first I was obsessive over the numbers. I’d spent the last couple decades obsessed over numbers—grades and all that. It was a habit.”
“And now?”
“Well I had to force myself to never look at my numbers for the first while and it helped me focus on the content itself. Make sure I was making something I put my heart behind, not just something I thought would do well. It’s been half a year now, and I’m just starting to look at them again.”
“Wow. Half a year that’s amazing. Good for you. I know we barely know each other but…I’m proud of you for figuring that all out. It’s inspiring.”
He was right, we barely knew each other. Yet somehow I knew he was genuine about what he was saying. I feel a warm tingling sensation in my stomach. “Thank you Harry.”
“Yeah. Wow.” His eyes flicker over my hair. “There is a lot of memories in that hair of yours.”
“Yeah it’s like, was it Mean Girls? My hair isn’t big, but it’s so long because it’s filled with secrets.”
“Yeah,” he smiles. “That’s a good line.”
“Maybe I should cut it off,” the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. Why was I keeping it this long? “I should cut it off.”
“Uh I don’t know…”
“No!” I get up again, firm in what I wanted. The only reason my hair was always long was because my ex had told me once he liked it long. And now that I thought about it, I’d unconsciously kept it that way since. Fuck that! I wanted to get rid of these memories, “I want to turn a new leaf and all that bullshit.”
“I feel like I’ve been a bad influence.” Harry says softly.
“You’re cutting my hair Styles-“
“I don’t know how to!”
“C’mon we’ll watch a youtube video. You play guitar I’m sure you’re good with your hands.”
An awkward silence stretches and he coughs out a laugh.
“Oh my god not like that!” I take his hand and try not to think of whatever image he had just thought of. “Bathroom, scissors, phone. Let’s go.”
I queue up a video as he follows me. I shut the door and shove the video in his hands. Meanwhile, I turn the bathtub tap on and dunk my hair in it to get it wet so it would be easier to cut. Like the video said.
“Y/N,” Harry says wearily. Hearing my name out of his mouth is weird.
“Did you watch it?” I rummage through the drawers and come up with a pair. “Here.”
“They use an electric-“
“Just do it with the scissors!” I encourage him. “If it’s uneven that’s okay! I can get it fixed later in the week.”
I turn back to the mirror and everything slows down as I take the scene in. Harry Styles in my bathroom, standing behind me and eyeing me nervously. Me, with my too-long hair, flushed and determined to get this all over with, to shed the memories I’d been holding on for too long.
“Are you sure?” He asks, looking me dead in the eye through the mirror.
“Yep! I’m 100% sure.”
“Don’t kill me if you wake up tomorrow and regret this.”
“Just cut it.”
“So bossy,” he smiles and begins combing my hair down like the video had. I watch him, it’s endearing how much concentration he has as he perfects my strands and begins to measure. He’s slow, and deliberate, and I know I picked the right dude because I’d guessed correctly—he was a perfectionist.
When the first big chunk is removed and he deposits it in the sink I tear up. I feel the weight of it removed and it makes me think of everything it witnessed.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” I reach out and touch the hair that was attached to me seconds ago. It was just hair, but it also wasn’t. “Continue.”
His hand brushes my neck again and I try not to lean into his touch. Try not to think about how close we were. This was Harry Styles, not just a random dude. Get it together. Nothing was going to happen here as intoxicating as his touch was and whatever cologne he wore.
When he finishes my hair, it barely brushes my shoulders.
“I.” I turn around and face him. “Love it!”
“Really?”
“Really!” I turn back to look at myself again and I see his shoulder settle down. He watches me turn my head every way in the mirror.
“It looks good on you. The short hair.”
It did. My ex never saw me with short hair. It was like I was a new woman.
“I feel brand new.”
He smiles behind me. “That’s how I felt yesterday”
I turn back to face him, forcing myself not to think too hard about the foot of space between us. “Thank you. I know this isn’t how you thought your evening was going to go. But I needed this. So…thank you.”
Something flickers past his face. His smile grows smaller. “Yeah. This actually made me forget all about what’s waiting for me. So I should say thank you for distracting me.”
“No moping,” I open the door to the bathroom, grateful to get more space. “There are drinks in the fridge if you’d like. I’m going to wash out my hair quickly and then you and I are watching Gilmore Girls.
“I’ve only watched the first season.” He backs out into the hall.
“Perfect. We’ll start at season 2!”
When I get back to my room, jammies on and ready for a cozy night in, Harry’s already looking half asleep.
I tell him where to sit—I’d set up my room so that my bed is against the wall and the set of pillows turns it into a day bed. On the opposite wall I’d left it blank to allow my projector to play anything from my laptop. He settles onto one side and I sit beside him, making sure to leave a foot of space between us.
As I navigate my laptop to pull up the show, I feel fingers on my hair. I turn to him.
“It actually suits you. Look really nice.”
He rubs a strand between his fingers.
“I feel lighter.”
He drops his hand and rubs it over his own head.
“Me too.”
We smile at each other, a bond tying me to him. I hoped doing this could be like a last step before I can fully move on from the last chapter of my life. I’d already done so much of my healing but I still found myself crying at 2ams and staring at my bedroom ceiling at 2pms. I needed this—talking to a stranger about it all, and shedding the weight physically.
Now all that was left was to cozy up and watch my favourite show.
“So how many Gilmore girls are there?” Harry whispers as I press play.
“You did not just ask that question. Are you sure you watched season 1?”
“A couple years ago yeah.”
“Then just watch.” I pull my blanket up and feel Harry shift slightly, our shoulders touch.
“Thanks Y/N,” he whispers after a while.
“Thank you,” I tell him. Whatever we did for each other tonight felt like fate had put us in a blender and pressed power. I mean, me and Harry freaking Styles were together on my bed at 1am, watching Gilmore Girls and falling asleep halfway. I guess we’d both needed a fresh perspective and a friend, and this was a good a way as any to make some new memories.
#harry styles fic#writingsfromhome#harry styles x reader#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles one shot#harry styles hair#this fic is qd#baldrry#lmao at these being tags
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the unholy thoughts circulating my brain right now solely from this picture is enough to send me to hell
#hot as fuck help me#harry styles#harry styles smut#harry styles hot#harry styles live on tour#harry styles love on your#love on your#harry’s house#harry styles the album#fine line#harry styles fine line#harry styles pictures#harry styles photos#harry styles outfits#harry styles fashion#harry styles hair#harry styles one direction
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Harry Styles for @beautypapersmag. Issue 8. Photographed by Casper Wackerhausen-Sejersen.
#harry styles#harry styles aesthetic#harry styles hair#harry styles photoshoot#hslot 2023#harry styles imagine#harry's house album#make up#harry styles blog#harry styles hq#harry styles love on tour#harry styles news#harry styles outfit#harry styles photos#harry styles one direction#harry styles pictures#harry styles tpwk#treat people with kindness#harry styles updates#harry 1d
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everyone who made fun of harry for cutting his hair needs to apologize right now
#he looks so good#like sir#dunkirkrry is coming back🤭#harry styles#harry styles hair#baldrry#harrystyles#harry#hldaily#hldupdate#hlupdate#one direction#1d#1direction#1 direction#manchester united#man united#football#soccer
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OMGGGG Harry's hair is finally at the stage where it looks 100% good. Baldrry was alright but this is great!!!!!
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Harry Styles ❤️🩹
#harry#harry styles#harries#harry styles updates#harry styles smile#harry styles boyfriend#harry styles wallpaper#harry styles hair#harry styles lockscreens#lockscreen#cute#icon
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Broken trust
Summary - Y/n overhears harry calling her annoying
Pairing - Harrystyles x reader!y/n
W.c - 1.5k
Warning - Angst
A/n - First try writing angst
Y/n always felt like she was too much. Even before dating harry.But he told her it was fine to be herself around him.
She was loud, carefree, blunt and sometimes clingy and she knew that.
She knew she was and she tried to keep it at bay. Besides harry had told her that he liked how she was. He liked her character and that's what made her as her.
So she was herself when she was with him and he loved her for it but maybe it does get too much sometimes?
Probably.
So when y/n heard harry talk to a friend about how clingy and loud she could be. How he wished he could take a break from her sometimes. It broke her. She felt her heart rip into two when she heard him say those things to his friend without knowing she was hearing it all.
He had said everything she wished she wasn't but was and she thought Harry had accepted that this was her and loved her for it but maybe not.
With a crushed heart she went back downstairs, silently going back to placing the dishes she prepared for him. Now she had doubts about everything she was doing.
Was her preparing his favourite dish annoying too?
What else did he find annoying?
Did he hate it when she cuddled him?
Did he like the way she laughed?
Did he still love her?
She was staring off somewhere when harry walked down and hugged her from behind bringing her back to reality.
He placed a gentle kiss on her neck his strong arms wrapped tightly around her.
"what's for dinner, baby?" He asks still kissing her neck.
She didn't reply tho, not when she was trying to figure out if he was faking being sweet. Would he say all those things to her face?
Her ex-boyfriends have told her cruel things when they broke it off. It took her months to get over but when she met Harry everything changed and she accepted that this was her and the right person will love her for her. He made sure to help her realise that.
But now everything was coming back and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed because she knew what came after. He was going to break up with her. The thought alone sent a chill down her spine as she unglued herself from harry and went to the dinning table.
They sat in silence and harry immediately knew something was wrong. She was never quite ,always talking about anything that was on her mind.
"what's wrong baby?" He sweetly asks his green eyes filled with worry meeting hers but she quickly looks down at her untouched plate of food.
"nothing" she murmured afraid if she talked any louder he'd find it annoying.
Harry stood up from his seat and walked near her and lifted her chin with his fingers looking at her eyes to see them "What's going on?" He asks worry in his voice.
She didn't reply , pushed herself away from him and walked to their shared bedroom. The tears were gonna burst any minute and she didn't want him to see her but before she could close the door he was behind her.
She turns around ready to scream at him but the tears finally leave her eyes and fall down her cheeks. Harry was stunned and he immediately walks towards her to hug her only she fights it and tries to push him off and he realises maybe he had something to do with this. Did he make her cry? What had he done?
"Babe, can you please talk to me? Did I do something? Did I make you cry? Please love" he begs eyes filled with worry as he watches her move away from him.
She didn't answer him, her throat tight as she tried to catch her breath. Harry tried to comfort her from distance and it seemed to calm her down. She was sat on the floor leaning against the wall near their bed.
Harry sat on the opposing wall patiently waiting for her to say what was wrong without knowing it was all his fault. Y/n never cried, if something made her sad she voiced it but she never shed a tear in front of him not even when he was teary eyed watching some sad romcom with a sad ending so it shocked him to see her fall apart infront of him and he didn't even know why.
" I'm sorry" she says and harry immediately moved closer to her and wraps his arms around her pulling her to his chest.
Harry rubs her shoulders and after she had calmed down a bit she pushes herself away from harry and he looks
"I....heard.. y...your call?" Y/n says but it comes out as a question her eyes are filled with tears again as she remembers his words.
"what call...." Harry stops mid sentence as realisation hits him like a train and y/n could read every emotion on his face. Confused to realisation soon turned to one of sad and worried.
"Babe....I di" but before he could lie and take it back y/n cuts him off
"No! no, don't do this. You wouldn't have said that if you didn't mean it."
Harry's eyes start to gloss over at the realisation of how bad this could go. He had messed up big time and now as his brain tries to find something to not mess it up further y/n packs a bag and while he scrambles to his feet to beg her to stay.
"Y/n , baby... Please don't do this. I didn't mean it. I just have been in so much pressure with the tours, interviews and the next album. I'm so sorry. I really am I'm sorry. I love you...." Harry's was scared and y/n could see it but she knew how much her leaving right now was going to hurt him she had to do it because he had wrecked her heart with his words and she needed time away to recover from that.
"H. I just need some time... I'm sorry too. I know I could be too much sometimes but I never thought I would make you feel like you have to handle that side of me but that is me and if you hate that then I can't be with you." Y/n says tears steaming down her face and harry wasn't any better he was losing the love of his life because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He really was stressed but he still shouldn't have said it and now he is going to face the consequences. Will she come back?? His mind keeps asking him.
The truth was they both didn't know the answer to that.
*
It had been a week and harry had called and texted everyday leaving voicemails apologizing and even sending flowers to her apartment. Y/n was glad he stopped there and didn't show up at her door because she would cave but she still needed time to think and move forward about this. She hadn't replied to his texts or calls but she soon had to soon.
But y/n didn't need to as she bumbs into harry at the cafe they both regulars and he smiles at her and pulls her into a hug taking a deep inhale of her hair and mumbling "I miss you" as they break the hug a little too soon for his liking.
"join me please?" Harry asks eyes begging her as y/n nods her head silently in agreement . They both take a seat at one of the corner booths , the windows were tinted so they would be perfectly fine there. Harry orders y/n's usual coffee and they sit in silence. Harry trying to catch her eyes but she was looking down at the table avoiding him.
"Y/n .....I didn't mean what I said. I love you for who you are please don't forget that. I can give you reasons but that won't get us anywhere, I'm really sorry i shouldn't have said those words and especially not to someone. I really am sorry y/n. Forgive me please?' harry asks expectantly.
" I get it harry, I just .... You could have told me you know. Just let me know when I become overbearing - no let me talk." She cuts him off when he tries to interject. "The words doesn't hurt , it's hurts me to know you said it behind my back. I told you about my ex but now it feels like you did the same thing just not to my face which feels even worse " y/n says eyes getting glossy again as she blinks to get rid of the tears and harry gulps before nodding his head as he waits for her to tell the words. Tell him she didn't want him anymore.
"I'm sorry, i was feeling stressed out and I should have just told you. I really am sorry" he says and she wraps her hands in his gently.
"I do forgive you though but I need sometime to process this and to trust you again" y/n says in a low voice and harry nods his head again understandingly.
Harry agreed to have sometime apart and they moved on from there. They would go on dates and eventually Y/n started to trust harry again and he made sure she knew just how much he loved her.
#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles smut#writer#romance#scenarios#liam payne#louis tomilson#niall horan#one direction#harry styles smile#harrys house#harry smut#harry styles hair#harry styles imagine#harry styles x reader#yn#harry x y/n#harry styles writing#new trope#angst#fluff#angst with a happy ending#light angst
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Is this the story we are sticking with? Because it’s lame AF & most likely 100% B.S. damage control 🤣🐂💩😎
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i need to study for my finals but wondering how long harry styles’ hair is rn is taking up too much space in my mind so i just can’t.
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It doesn't matter anyway
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IM ACTUALLY SO DONE!!?&&&)?
#messy wet hair?!!#HES SO#harry styles#harry styles outfits#harry styles hair#harry styles news#harry styles twitter
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God bless this hips
shaking with style
#mom dancing#harry styles#hazza#harry styles hair#momrry#baby honey#long hair my everthing#feminine harry
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We better get pictures of Harry throughout his hair growing journey. I want to see the dunkirk hair return!!!
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