#Happy belated holidays y’all
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leviiackrman · 1 year ago
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GUESS WHO JUST GOT A GROUP PHOTO OP WITH THE ENTIRE CRITICAL ROLE CAST😍😍
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aquaquadrant · 11 months ago
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from eden, part IX (act I)
Word count: 11,504 Warnings: Blood/injury, violence, death, animal death, temporary dismemberment, dissociation, self-deprecating thoughts (not really, Jimmy’s just a listener and doesn’t know it), strong language, fictional racism/xenophobia, panic attacks Summary: The Double Lifers have successfully thwarted the invasion by Hels Tek, but not unscathed. Now that Tango’s been outed as Bravo’s doppelgänger, the remaining threads are starting to unravel, and Jimmy suddenly finds himself fighting to save Tango from his own inner demons. Can their love survive the fallout?
A/N: This took a ridiculously long time to write and got way longer than I’d originally intended so uhhh happy belated holidays? There’s a lot in this one that I’m excited to show y’all so I really hope u enjoy it, pls reblog/comment if u do, it means a lot.
Also this chapter has been split into two parts bc Tumblr is a hoe with a paragraph limit, link to the second half at the end. And as always, this is part of a series, so the previous chapters can be found on my au directory here. - Aqua
~*~
from eden, part IX (act I) - no tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony
~*~
Somewhere in Double Life, a player kneels in a bloody wheat field.
Jimmy’s senses are flooded with iron. He’s regenerated enough health that his nose isn’t actively bleeding anymore, but he’s sure it’s still all over his face. As he finally pulls away from Tango, he realizes he’s smeared plenty of it on Tango’s shoulder. The blood on Tango’s chin and claws hasn’t fully dried yet, either. And through his slightly parted mouth, Jimmy can see it’s stained his teeth.
(Did you see what he did back there?)
(He was like an animal.)
(How long do you think he’s been keeping that in?)
Jimmy pushes the thoughts away. Focus on the here and now.
To be fair, though, the ‘here and now’ is a horrible place. The ranch is burning behind them. His eyes are burning from the tears and the smoke in the air. His throat feels tight and scratchy. He’s physically and emotionally exhausted, the weight of it dragging him down, sinking into the trampled soil beneath him. The singed edges of his wings are still stinging, but it’s an easily forgotten pain among everything else.
Jimmy hates crying. Especially in public. Really, nothing makes him feel more useless and pathetic than crying. But he has to admit, he’s at least a little calmer and more clear-headed. Now that he’s cried himself out, his awareness is gradually returning to the conversation going on around him.
“What in’a world was that about?!” Bdubs cries out, sounding absolutely flabbergasted.
“Yeah, who were those guys, anyway?” Etho asks, knitting his brows together. “How’d they get here?”
Joel makes a distressed noise. “They shouldn’t be able to open a portal here, this is a private world!”
“I know, I know, okay,” Grian gripes, “I’m workin’ on it. Hang on-”
“And what was all that nonsense about doggelpangers?” Scar pauses. “Uh, dop- doppabang-”
“Doppelgängers?” Cleo calls over wryly.
Scar hangs his head. “Dang it. Yes, that.”
“I dunno, but what if they come back?” Joel asks nervously. “What should we do?”
Isn’t that the question?
Jimmy takes quick stock of his surroundings. Grian is standing a little way’s off from Jimmy’s huddle, head bent down as he furiously scrolls through his communicator, the screen reflecting in his tinted glasses. Scar is hovering next to Grian, peering keenly over his shoulder, his bow held limply at his side. Both of them look a little roughed up from the battle, but alright for the time being.
Etho, still crouched at the spot where Bravo died, is searching through the dropped items. Joel is pacing in front of the broken portal frame and casting anxious glances at it, one hand gripping his sword while the other rakes through his hair, antennae twitching with agitation. There are a few scrapes and gashes between them- mostly superficial and likely to heal on their own.
Pearl’s wolf pack has been considerably thinned out- something Jimmy notes with a pang of guilt- but there’s still plenty of them milling about the place. With blood-matted fur and tucked tails, it’s clear they took a beating. Pearl herself must’ve gone, from the way they sniff and look around aimlessly, giving plaintive yips and whines. Scott is conspicuously absent as well, another hint as to the bonded pair’s fate. Jimmy’s sure they’ll be along soon.
Bigb and Ren are also nowhere to be seen- likely more casualties of the battle. Ren makes for a rather large target when in wolf mode; he probably drew a lot of enemy fire. And of course, Bigb would’ve gone with him. Box is quite a way from the ranch, Jimmy recalls, so it’ll take them a few minutes to get back.
Martyn is busy mining up the rest of the portal frame, seeming none the worse for wear. Cleo sits a couple yards away, one leg stretched out in front of her. The other one has been chopped clean off at the knee, and is clenched in their hand- but wait, it does that sometimes, Jimmy reminds himself before he can panic. The detached limb isn’t even bleeding, and she’s already pulling some string from her inventory to stitch it back on, seeming more inconvenienced than anything else.
Bdubs, across the field, looks no more beat-up than he always does. He’s fussing over his horse, snatching up stray bits of wheat to heal as it struggles to get its legs under it. Impulse’s horse, devoid of rider, has wandered off towards the barn- perhaps hearing the other horses inside. Impulse himself is crouched beside Jimmy and Tango, his golden eyes intently studying the collar that’s been locked around Tango’s neck.
Tango is still completely silent. He doesn’t move or give any indication that he’s at all mentally present, just kneeling idly in the dirt, expression blank, eyes distant. Nothing but static through their soul bond. He doesn’t seem to be seriously injured- most of the blood stains aren’t his. That realization isn’t as relieving as Jimmy wants it to be.
Grian clears his throat. “Right. First thing’s first, are we all still here?” he asks, scanning his communicator. “No one went through the portal?”
“Nah, all good,” Martyn calls over his shoulder as the final obsidian block pops onto the ground.
Etho has his communicator pulled up too. “Yeah, uh, just looks like Scott and Pearl got killed,” he reports. “Ren and Bigb, too. I’ll shoot ‘em a message, see if they’re alright.”
“Right, okay.” Grian chews his lip, wings ruffling. “And all the other fellas are gone?”
Etho nods. “Yep.”
“Okay-”
“G,” Scar cuts in, tugging on Grian’s sleeve, “you gotta respawn before that injury sets in.”
Grian shrugs him off. Only now does Jimmy realize he’s holding one of his wings closer to his body than the others, the one that took an arrow during the fight. “Gimme a second-”
”Um, guys?” Martyn says suddenly, pointing at the ranch. “Fire tick is on, yeah?”
Grian looks up at that, sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Hoo boy. Yeah, we need’ta get a ditch around the ranch, okay, or else the whole forest’ll go.” He casts a sidelong look at Jimmy, expression apologetic. “Tim, do you mind…?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “No,” he says hoarsely, “no, no, by all means. Whatever you need to… oh gosh, it’s all gonna go. It’s gone, isn’t it? It’s-” His voice breaks, and he quickly looks away, fresh tears welling in his eyes.
It wasn’t much, the ranch.
Only two floors- three counting the basement- and a bit tight on space. It wasn’t the most impressive build, not by a long shot. Certainly not when compared to the other builds on this world. It was something that would’ve taken two actually competent builders nothing more than a dedicated afternoon to put together. Plainly decorated, and comprised mostly of wood and stone variants. Nothing that’s particularly hard to obtain. And in all honesty, it was just a starter base; they were going to outgrow it sooner or later, anyways.
But it was theirs. 
It was the scorch marks in the wood from Tango’s blaze rods, in the moments where his emotions got away from him. It was the rocking chair where Jimmy liked to do his embroidery, when he needed to unwind after a busy day. It was the auto-sorting storage room that Tango spent weeks fine-tuning. It was the small but cozy living room that Jimmy decorated with potted flowers. It was the kitchen that always smelled faintly of charcoal, and the wool rug in the foyer that came from their own sheep, and the bedroom that they shared with an east-facing window to let them watch the sunrise together, on the rare days when Tango was awake early enough to see it.
The ranch is burning, and there’s nothing Jimmy can do about it.
(Great. Gonna start crying again, are you?)
(What exactly is that going to accomplish?)
(Man up! Don’t be so pathetic.)
A gentle hand on Jimmy’s shoulder makes him look up. Martyn is there, sympathy glimmering in his eye. “We’ll save what we can,” he promises.
Jimmy manages a grateful smile, blinking away his tears. “Thanks.”
Martyn nods before straightening back up. “Etho, Joel, you got water buckets on ya?”
“Oh, yeah.” Etho puts his communicator away as he and Joel start toward the ranch, buckets in hand. “Yeah, here, let’s make an infinite source..”
“Right. I’ll get the ditch started, then,” Cleo chimes in, rising to their feet now that both legs are once again intact.
Grian makes an appreciative noise, still tapping away at his communicator. “Okay, so that’s done-”
“Grian,” Scar says again, more insistently. “You gotta-”
“Hang on!” Grian huffs. He looks up to meet Jimmy’s gaze. “Okay, so uh, I can’t ban them… but what I’m gonna do is lock the world down,” he explains, taking a few steps over. “No one goes in or out… not even through a backdoor portal. This is just a temporary solution, but it should do the trick for now.”
Relief washes over Jimmy. “Thank you,” he murmurs.
(Good thing Grian is here to clean up your mess, huh?)
“Hey, guys?” Impulse speaks up, making Jimmy startle. “Um, Tango… he’s not lookin’ so good.”
That’s putting it kindly. Jimmy’s heart tightens. “Right. We should prob’ly get him inside, um…” He trails off as he instinctively looks at the ranch, which is on fire.
Right.
Impulse gives him a comforting look. “C’mon, you guys can crash at our place.” He rises to his feet, calling out, “Bdubs, would you bring the horses over?”
“Yeah, gimme a sec,” Bdubs shouts back. He’s finally gotten his horse standing again, glancing around for Impulse’s. “C’mere, stupid- hey! No, don’t wander off…”
“You finished, Grian?” Scar asks impatiently, notching an arrow.
“Okay, okay, hang on…” Grian presses a couple more buttons before putting his communicator away. “There, it’s done. Now, I’m gonna do some diggin’ and see what I can find out about this. But, um…” His gaze sweeps over Tango, expression pinched. “As soon as Tango is up for it… we all need to have a serious chat, okay?”
The wording immediately puts Jimmy off. He can feel his feathers bristling, his wings flaring out almost unconsciously to block Tango from view. “Wh- hey, this wasn’t his fault!” he protests.
Grian holds his hands up. “Ey, I know, I know,” he says lightly. His lower wings sweep out and flatten into a sort of fan as he crouches; an appeasing gesture. “None of us think that, okay? But clearly those guys came here for him, so we need’ta figure out why and how if we’re gonna figure out how to stop it from happenin’ again. Alright?”
Jimmy takes a breath, letting his feathers smooth over again. “Right. You’re right, sorry,” he mumbles.
(Wow, so defensive.)
(Like you could protect him, anyways.)
(Have you no faith in your own friends?)
Grian glances at Impulse. “You got them, Impulse?”
“Yeah, don’t worry,” Impulse assures him.
Scar draws back his bow. “Any day now, Grian…”
“Okay.” Grian turns around with an exasperated sigh. “Alright, Scar-”
He disappears in a puff of respawn smoke. Scar immediately follows him, his bow clattering to the ground amidst the shower of other items.
Impulse exhales in what might’ve been a laugh, if he didn’t sound so tired. He turns to Jimmy. “Can you stand?” he asks, holding out his hand.
(Look, they all think you’re weak, too!)
Jimmy feels himself flush. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, his tone short. Ignoring Impulse’s hand, he struggles to his feet unaided, wings flapping about to help keep his balance.
And then he feels incredibly silly about it. These are his friends, for goodness sakes.
“Thanks,” Jimmy adds, to soften it. “But Tango, I dunno if he… I mean, normally I’d carry him, but right now, I think- I think I’d drop him,” he confesses. Already, the effort of just standing on his own is starting to fatigue him.
Impulse just nods, a knowing look in his eye. “Yeah, no problem.” Slowly, he crouches down next to Tango again. “Hey, Tango, buddy?” he calls softly. “Can you hear me? It’s Impulse. I’m gonna pick you up now, if that’s okay?”
Tango doesn’t respond. Carefully, Impulse gathers Tango into his arms in a cradle hold- which Tango doesn’t react to besides curling in on himself a little more. His breathing quickens for a few seconds before he settles down again.
“Sorry,” Impulse whispers.
Jimmy swallows. He’s never known Tango to be so quiet, so still. It’s incredibly disturbing to see. And gosh, he knows Tango’s pale, but right now he looks about as white as quartz.
The events of this afternoon were a lot for anyone to handle. Jimmy’s still only working with bits and pieces, of course. He knows that Tango originally came from a terrible world called Hels, escaped from that creepy scientist guy Dr. Atlas, and has been hiding out on Hermitcraft ever since. So it’s not surprising that Tango got a nasty shock when his past suddenly came knocking at his door- literally, in Bravo’s case.
But Jimmy also knows that Tango is quite tough. He’s not the type to shut down in the face of hardship- in fact, he’ll often go the opposite direction, with manic bursts of frantic energy. So for a reaction this extreme… either that collar they put on him is having a more drastic effect than Jimmy realized, or there’s something more to the story he isn’t aware of.
Before the collar dampened their soul bond, the fear Jimmy felt from Tango had been damn near overwhelming. What could those Hels players have done to him to elicit such a strong reaction? Jimmy dreads to think of it.
The sound of hoofbeats pulls Jimmy out of his musings.
“Here I am!” Bdubs announces loudly, leading a horse by each hand. “Got the hawsies all ready t’go- oh, hey, waugh- what happened to him?” he gasps, his horrified gaze falling on Tango, wide eyes going even wider. “Wha’ th- is he okay?!”
Impulse gives him a tired smile. “Bdubs, I know we’re outside right now, but indoor voice, please? I’ll explain later.”
“Oh, okay!” Bdubs immediately drops into a stage whisper, ducking his head sheepishly. “Right, right, right, right, right, sorry.” He eyes Tango nervously for another moment. “Jeeze, they really… okay, okay, okay, right. Let’s go.”
With an appreciative look, Impulse moves beside one of the horses. Shifting his hold on Tango, he hikes one foot up into the stirrup and swings onto the horse’s back, forked tail lashing through the air.
Bdubs follows suit, climbing onto his own horse before glancing down at Jimmy. “Uh- you wanna ride wi’ me, Jimmy?” he asks, still whispering.
“That’d be great, thanks,” Jimmy says gratefully. Just the thought of walking or flying to their base makes him feel like all his bones have turned to slime.
His own attempt to get on the horse doesn’t go anywhere near as smoothly. With someone else already in the saddle, it’s a clumsy maneuver, his flailing wings more of a hindrance than anything. In the end, Bdubs grabs the back of Jimmy’s shirt and helps haul him up. That only makes Jimmy feel worse. Bdubs is so much smaller than him, how did he manage that?
“Okay…” Bdubs glances over his shoulder as Jimmy gets settled. “You alright back there?”
“Yep, yep, I’m good,” Jimmy says quickly. He clears his throat. “Can we- can we get goin’?” He’s anxious to leave this depressing scene behind and get Tango someplace calmer.
Bdubs nods. “Okay. Uh- hang on tight, and you’d better keep those wings folded or else you- you’ll be blown right off’a this thing!” He turns to Impulse. “We go now!”
“Alright, let’s go.” Impulse urges his horse forward, and Bdubs swiftly follows.
The horses gallop away from the ranch.
Jimmy does as he’s told, leaning forward to put his arms around Bdubs’s shoulders and tucking his wings tightly against his back. The jostling of the horse’s stride isn’t kind to his aching muscles and bones, but he’s not about to complain. Right now he feels completely out of sorts- like a stranger in his own skin.
As exhausted as his body is, his mind is absolutely racing. He can’t stop thinking about what Bravo said, that Tango was to blame for his being in Hels. And Tango hadn’t really denied it.
From what Jimmy can recall from today’s chaotic events, Tango used to be in Hels, and then a portal appeared. He went through it to Hermitcraft, and somehow, that got Bravo sent to Hels. That seems to be the conclusion they’ve come to. And Tango didn’t know about it at first, but he’s known about it for a couple years at this point, and said nothing.
(How selfish of him.)
But it wasn’t Tango’s fault! He didn’t intentionally send Bravo there, and he only kept his knowledge secret because he was afraid he’d get sent back himself if he revealed the truth. That’s… really upsetting. If Tango didn’t trust the Hermits enough to tell them, after spending nearly a decade getting to know them, it’s no wonder he didn’t tell Jimmy.
Has Tango spent this whole time feeling like a fugitive in his own home?
And what is Hels, really? What kind of world doesn’t allow portal travel in and out? The way they’d spoken about it, it almost seemed like a prison. But created by who? And why?
What exactly is a Hels player? What does a ‘doppelgänger’ entail, exactly? Because if Tango is supposed to be an evil version of Bravo, Jimmy is clearly missing something, ‘cause he doesn’t buy that for a second.
Do all players have a Hels counterpart? Does Jimmy? Oh, now there’s a disturbing thought. Is there another Jimmy running around in a prison world somewhere, locked away from the rest of the universe?
Now that he’s aware of the possibility, he isn’t sure this is something he can just forget about.
But he knows his questions will have to wait. Tango is hardly in the condition to be discussing any of this- getting him recovered from his shock is Jimmy’s first priority. He’s about to ask how far away they are when two figures appear in the distance.
It’s Scott and Pearl, on the way back from their respawns. Pearl is preoccupied, intensely scanning her communicator as she walks. But Scott spots them immediately, nudging Pearl with his elbow and lifting a hand to wave them over.
Impulse glances over his shoulder at Bdubs and Jimmy. “Guess we’d better go see what they want,” he says as he steers his horse towards the pair, Bdubs following suit.
Pearl looks up at their approach. Her respawn must’ve taken care of any injuries she sustained from the battle, because she seems like her usual red-eyed self. But there’s an unmistakable air of anxiety about her- one that Scott seems to share, based on his terse expression.
“Impulse!” Pearl shouts, as soon as she’s within proximity hearing range. “You seen Tilly ‘round?”
Impulse eases his horse to a stop. “Oh, uh- she’s the one with the dyed collar, right?” he asks, knitting his brows together. “Yeah, yeah I’m pretty sure she was back at the wheat field.” 
Pearl exhales heavily. “Oh, thank goodness. I- I lost so many dogs, I wasn’t sure…” She puts her communicator away, looking them up and down. “So uh, is everyone alright? Are… you guys alright?” she asks uncertainly, quirking a brow.
“We’re fine,” Impulse assures her easily. He jerks his head back in the direction they came from. “The others are dealing with the ranch right now, it’s uh… it’s a pretty big fire, I’m sure they’d appreciate some help.”
Pearl follows his gaze, eyes widening at the plume of smoke still visible above the trees. “Oh gosh, yeah, we’d better get goin’, then.”
“You alright, Timmy?” Scott speaks up suddenly. 
“Huh?” Jimmy startles at being addressed. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Mmm.” Scott doesn’t look convinced, his sharp eyes studying Jimmy’s face before flicking over to Tango. “Is Tango alright? Where’d tha’ thing on his neck come from?”
Jimmy’s heart jolts. “Um…” He isn’t sure how much he should be sharing with the others, while Tango’s incapacitated like this.
Luckily for him, Impulse cuts in. “Don’t worry,” he says gently, “we’ve got it covered. You guys go check in with the others, okay?”
It’s not a very subtle hint, but Scott allows it. “Alriiiight,” he drawls, holding his hands up. “Just remember you’ve got help if y’want it.”
“I appreciate it,” Impulse hums, but Jimmy catches the flash of relief in his eyes as he turns his horse away.
“Yeah, ‘preciate ya!” Bdubs echoes as they ride off.
They ride in silence for a few moments, until they’re out of proximity range, before Impulse clears his throat. “I just think Tango would appreciate some privacy right now,” he explains quietly. “You know everyone else- they’d all want to help and see if he’s okay, but a big group would probably freak him out.”
“Ah.” Jimmy nods. “Good thinkin’.”
(Gee, Impulse is really taking charge, huh?)
(You’re basically useless.)
(He would’ve been a way better soulmate for Tango than you.)
The thoughts make Jimmy flinch. He hasn’t often felt insecure in his relationship with Tango, despite having known him for a much shorter time than the Hermits. But right now, his general lack of knowledge and experience in how best to help Tango has become glaringly obvious.
Thankfully, before he can spend any more time feeling sorry for himself, Impulse and Bdubs’s house finally comes into view.
They’ve added another floor since Jimmy was last here. Floor-to-ceiling windows made of light gray panes curl around one side of the building, continuing with the sleek mid-century modern design. The front yard has received some landscaping as well; a wide, circular path that frames a small cluster of custom trees and shrubbery before leading to the dark oak door, framed by neat flower beds on either side.
As they come up on the house, Impulse and Bdubs turn their horses along a branch of path that veers off from the main circle, taking them towards a small structure built against the house’s side. Made only out of diorite wall posts and a flat, deepslate tiled roof, it creates sort of an overhang, divided into two compartments with warped stem fence posts. Its purpose quickly becomes obvious as Bdubs hops off his horse and pulls a lead from his inventory, leashing his horse to one of the posts.
Jimmy swings his leg around to slide off the horse, dropping onto the ground with an ungraceful grunt. In the stall beside them, Impulse has carefully dismounted from his own steed, still cradling Tango in his arms.
The longer Jimmy looks, the more his chest aches with longing. So he looks away.
“Alright, let’s get inside.” Impulse’s voice is soft. He turns back towards the front of the house. “This way.”
Bdubs finishes hitching the other horse to its post. “Right behind ya!” he chirps. He pats Jimmy on the arm as he passes- an encouraging, or perhaps comforting, gesture.
Either way, Jimmy appreciates it. He knows Bdubs tends to diffuse tense situations with humor, or by maintaining an energetic demeanor. It might be mistaken as inconsiderate, in some situations, but he seems to know where the line is. Genuinely, Jimmy thinks he’d feel worse if Bdubs was suddenly walking on eggshells around him.
Pity is a suitor that won’t take a hint, no matter how many times Jimmy turns it away.
He follows Impulse and Bdubs around the front of the house. Bdubs has already scrambled ahead to open the door for Impulse, whose arms are, of course, full of Tango. He ushers Jimmy in after them with a wide sweep of his arm.
They’ve moved their bedroom upstairs at some point, it seems. The main floor is now a dedicated living space with a modest kitchen in the back, overlooked by a loft from the second floor. An L-shaped lounge made of quartz stairs is built into the conversation pit occupying the center of the room, surrounding a small fireplace. The glass panes encasing it go all the way up to the ceiling, but the sight of fire makes Jimmy flinch anyways- which he immediately kicks himself for.
(Jeeze, man, get a grip! What if Tango saw that?)
If Impulse and Bdubs noticed, they don’t comment on it. Impulse silently leads the way up a spiral quartz slab staircase, which opens up into the loft. Bdubs’s interior work is clearly showing here, with cozy seating nestled beside a custom bookshelf-console unit. Straight ahead past the loft is a short hallway with a couple doors on either side.
Impulse stops at the first one on the right. “We got a spare room here,” he says, nodding his head at the door.
“Not finished yet!” Bdubs adds hastily, though still making an effort to keep his voice low. “Or uh, heugh- furnished. I’m gonna- I was gonna do the interior, I swear.”
Somehow, the fact that Bdubs is concerned Jimmy will judge his lackluster interior decoration- despite everything else going on right now- makes Jimmy crack a smile. “Well, beggars can’t be choosers, ey?” he jokes.
“Oh, very freaking funny!” Bdubs huffs, but he’s grinning, too. He opens the door for them, and Jimmy lets Impulse carry Tango inside before following.
The room is, as expected, fairly bare bones. Quartz walls and a dark oak floor carry over the mid-century modern theme from the exterior, but there’s no furniture other than a double-wide cyan bed against the wall. A couple of haphazardly-placed torches on the walls provide the room’s only lighting.
“No windows yet, either,” Bdubs mutters, clicking his tongue as his critical gaze sweeps over the room. “I need ta- I- I still gotta figure out how to place ‘em, with the exterior wall and stuff.”
“It’s alright,” Jimmy assures him. Windows would make him feel a bit too exposed right now, if he’s being honest.
Impulse carefully sets Tango down on the bed. “Okay, Tango, here we are.” He straightens up, running a hand through his hair as he exhales heavily.
Bdubs crosses quickly-but-quietly over to Impulse, wrapping him in a hug. “You okay, sweetie?” he asks softly.
Impulse smiles down at him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Don’t worry.”
“Okay.” Bdubs goes up on his toes to kiss Impulse’s cheek- and even so, he barely makes it. “I’m gonna go check on our boys, then, and see if the others need help with th- with the uh, the ranch. D’you- is there anything you want me to tell ‘em?”
“Yeah,” Impulse says thoughtfully, “maybe just let them know that we’d like to give Tango and Jimmy some privacy right now? We’ll let them know if we need anything, and we’ll chat more once everything’s calmed down.”
“Right, okay.” Bdubs glances at Jimmy. “That- is that good? For you?”
Jimmy is taken aback by the amount of consideration he’s being given. “Oh yeah, that’d be great, thanks.”
“Alright.” Bdubs casts one final look at Tango, trying but failing to hide his worry from those big eyes of his. “Alright, I- I’ll be back in a little.” 
He slips out the door, leaving them alone.
Before an awkward silence can descend, Impulse clears his throat. “So uh, looks like someone got you pretty good,” he says, gesturing to his face.
“Huh?” Confused, Jimmy brings a hand to his face- only to jerk away as his fingers brush against his nose. Now that he’s actually paying attention, there’s a dull ache of pain radiating down the bridge of his nose, and underneath the still-sticky blood, he can feel a prominent bump where there wasn’t one before.
“Oh, right,” he murmurs. “Forgot about that.”
“Yeah, looks broken,” Impulse says sympathetically. “Need a respawn?”
Jimmy pauses. It’s difficult to tell when an injury will result in lasting damage- no one’s really cracked that particular scientific riddle yet. But generally, it’s understood that the sooner the respawn, the better the outcome. That’s why things like creeper explosions hardly ever leave a mark, since the death is usually instant.
More so, superficial wounds tend to be less likely to scar than deeper, more structural wounds. A simple gash will almost always go away after respawning- if it hasn’t already healed on its own- but things like broken bones can linger in the form of scars, joint deformities, and chronic pain. If he’s being smart, he really should get a quick respawn in, just to be sure.
But they’re on the Double Life world, and right now, his life isn’t just his own.
Jimmy looks Tango over. None of his wounds are serious enough to warrant a respawn, he only got a little scuffed up in the initial attack. In his current state, it’d probably do more harm than good.
“No,” Jimmy decides, “I… I can’t do that to him, not right now. He’s disoriented as it is.” He shrugs a shoulder. “Besides, I think it’s just the cartilage. Either it’ll heal on my next respawn, or it won’t, and it’ll just match the rest of my face.”
Impulse doesn’t laugh at the self-deprecating joke, simply offering a sad smile. “Alright. I’ll see if Martyn can bring some healing potions by once they finish up at the ranch, I’m pretty sure he’s got a brewing set-up.”
Jimmy’s throat tightens. “Right, thanks…” He smoothes a hand over the bed’s cover, setting his spawn anyways, before he eases himself onto the mattress. “Tango…?” he ventures. “Are you alright? Can you hear me?”
Tango has yet to move at all from where Impulse deposited him, back against the wall with his knees tucked to his chest, arms limp at his sides. He doesn’t acknowledge Jimmy at all- which isn’t anything malicious on his part, of course, but god does it hurt.
Taking a deep breath, Jimmy tries again. “Hey, Tango? It’s me, it’s Jimmy.” He puts a gentle hand on Tango’s shoulder, watching him all the while for any sign that he’ll startle or panic. “It’s over, you’re safe now. Are- are you hurt anywhere? Do you need anythin’?”
Still nothing. Somewhere behind Jimmy, Impulse makes a noncommittal noise. “Jimmy, buddy, I don’t think that’s gonna work right now…”
Jimmy ignores him. “Please, Tango,” he pleads, feeling his eyes sting, “can you just…” Idly, he lifts his other hand to wipe some of the blood off Tango’s chin. “Can you look at me?”
Unexpectedly, that gets Tango’s attention. He lifts his face almost robotically to look at Jimmy, eyes and expression still devastatingly blank.
The sudden movement startles Jimmy, his hand jerking back. And as it does, Tango lets his head drop back down.
An image flashes in Jimmy’s mind; Atlas, the doctor with the blood red gloves, grabbing Tango by the chin and tilting his head up.
(Oh, that’s messed up.)
(You’ve really done it, now.)
(Brilliant, just brilliant.)
Jimmy’s stomach turns. He scrambles back, away from Tango, his heart starting to pound. “Sorry,” he whispers, even though Tango gives no indication that he’s hearing it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”
A hand lands on his shoulder, making him jump. Impulse gives him an understanding look. “I… think he just needs some time to come out of it,” he says quietly. “Y’know, alone. When he shuts down like this, there’s really nothing to do but wait.”
Jimmy finds his voice again. “Wait, you’ve seen it before?” he asks, creasing his brows together.
Impulse winces. “A couple times, yeah.”
“Oh.” Jimmy swallows, glancing back at Tango. “I dunno, I- I don’t wanna just leave him like this…”
“We can stay right outside,” Impulse says reassuringly, folding his arms. “It’s just… when he gets like this, I’m not sure he’s fully processing what’s going on. It’s like a defense mechanism. So he’s not gonna come out of it until he feels safe, and um… well…”
It’s not hard to catch his meaning. Jimmy bristles. “What, are you- are you sayin’ he doesn’t feel safe with me?” he snaps, which is so unfair because Impulse has been so helpful and so kind and he’s actually sort of right, but Jimmy can’t help it.
Impulse holds his gaze. “Not if he doesn’t recognize you.”
That sobers Jimmy a little, his wings sagging. “Oh. Oh, yeah, good point. You’re right.” Ducking his head, he swings his legs off the side of the bed and rises to his feet. “I guess he’ll be okay in here,” he relents. “But um, can we- would you mind if we put out the lights? It’s just…”
“Tango feels safer in the dark,” Impulse finishes, realization dawning in his eyes. “Good call.”
“Yeah.” Jimmy fidgets with his hands as Impulse collects the torches.
(Wow, he really knows Tango, huh?)
(Thank god someone knows what to do.)
(What exactly are you even here for?)
With the room now sufficiently darkened, Impulse holds the door open for Jimmy. Jimmy gives Tango a final look-over, his blank face now lit by the dim glow of his dampened blaze rods.
“We’ll be right outside if you need us, Tango,” Jimmy says in parting.
Tango remains silent as Impulse closes the door behind them.
As soon as they’re back in the hallway, all of Jimmy’s fatigue seems to hit him at once. He sways where he stands, shoulder bumping against the wall- the dull pain is easily ignored in favor of the black spots dancing across his vision. He squeezes his eyes shut, biting back a groan.
Fortunately, Impulse is there to steady him. “Woah, easy there.” He quickly guides Jimmy over to the loft to sit down. “Just breathe, okay?”
Jimmy takes a few slow, deep breaths- in through the nose, out through the mouth. When he opens his eyes again, the room is no longer spinning around him, so that’s a plus.
“Here,” Impulse presses something into Jimmy’s hand, “you must’ve worked up some hunger.”
It’s a golden carrot. “Thanks,” Jimmy murmurs, immediately starting to nibble on it. He probably does have food on him, somewhere in his inventory- cooked steak, most likely- but the extra saturation helps.
Seemingly satisfied that Jimmy isn’t going to pass out, Impulse sits down in the chair next to him. “How you feelin’?”
“Better, thanks,” Jimmy murmurs, shifting to fold his wings a bit more comfortably. He feels awkward and just… so out of place here. And Impulse is a nice guy, sure, but it’s a little embarrassing to have to be taken care of like a child. If it weren’t for Tango’s sake, he probably wouldn’t have accepted Impulse’s offer of help in the first place.
“Good.” Impulse looks him up and down, brows pinching together. “Jeeze, they really did a number on you. I’m sorry we weren’t there sooner, chat was chaos and we thought they’d be at spawn ‘til we saw your SOS.”
That comforts Jimmy a little. At least he managed to do something right. “It’s alright, not your fault,” he assures Impulse. “I mean, if you guys hadn’t come when you did…”
“Yeah.” Impulse nods solemnly. “That, uh… would’ve been pretty bad.”
Jimmy studies Impulse for a moment. Now that they have a second, there’s a question that’s been nagging at him. “So…” he starts, “how much did you hear, of what Bravo said?”
“Eh, bits and pieces.” Impulse shrugs. “Something about Tango being an evil doppelgänger from Hels.”
He says it so casually, like he’s talking about the weather. Jimmy’s stomach cinches. “Impulse…” he says carefully. “Did you… did you know?”
“What?” Impulse looks at him in surprise. “Oh, that Tango was from Hels? No. No, I never knew anything about before he came to Hermitcraft. But you know, I always kinda knew there was something… not great in his past. I mean, there were signs. I just figured he’d come from an anarchy server or something.” He knits his brows together. “I guess you… never saw what he was like, when he was still new, huh?”
Jimmy frowns. “Wha’d’you mean?”
Impulse makes a noncommittal noise. “It’s not my place to get into all that. But let’s just say… he’s come a long way since then. So um, looking back, it kinda makes sense.”
“So then…” Jimmy hesitates. “D’you believe what Bravo was saying? About what Hels are like?”
Impulse actually laughs- though not unkindly. “Oh, no, not by a long shot,” he assures Jimmy. “Don’t worry about that. I mean, there are players who think non-humans are bad, right? Like, there are still public servers out there that’ll ban Cleo soon as she joins, just for being a zombie.” He shrugs a shoulder, his forked tail idly flicking through the air. “Or me, for being a demon.”
“Oh.” Jimmy blinks, feeling stupid. “Right. It’s… so easy to forget, sometimes, that some folks still feel that way.”
Impulse tilts his head. “Well, not when you have to live it,” he says lightly.
“Oh. Oh!” Jimmy smacks his forehead. “No, no, right, of course,” he adds hastily, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it’s easy for you specifically to forget. Just, in general, I guess. ‘Cause most players don’t have that problem with avians- I mean, sometimes they think some of our traits are weird, sure, but uh- but it’s not the same thing, cause we aren’t hostile mob hybrids. Obviously. And- and none of my friends feel that way, either, so I just…” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I’m not makin’ a lotta sense.”
Impulse gives him a gracious smile. “It’s okay, I know what you mean.” He leans back in his chair, his eyes thoughtful. “I’ve gotten so used to Hermitcraft, sometimes it catches me by surprise when I travel to public servers and people act scared, or… distrustful of me. And that’s without even seeing me in ‘full demon’ mode. So uh, even though I don’t know anything about this Hels world, I don’t believe that just being from there would automatically make someone evil. I know Tango better than that.”
Jimmy’s throat tightens. “Right…”
Now it’s Impulse’s turn to give him a sideways look. “... you don’t believe what Bravo said, do you?” he asks, voice low.
“What?” Jimmy blanches. Despite himself, he feels his wings puff up with indignation. “Gosh no, no, that’s- not in a million years, mate, it’s utter nonsense!”
“Alright, alright, sorry,” Impulse chuckles, holding his hands up. “I didn’t think you would. But you know, I just had to make sure.”
“Yeah.” Jimmy sighs, letting his feathers smooth down again. “You’re a good friend, Impulse,” he says, glancing away. “Seems like you know what to do, here. He’s gonna need that.”
“He’s gonna need you.” 
That makes Jimmy look up. “What?” 
Impulse’s expression softens. “I’ve known Tango a while, now, and even though there’s been plenty of fun and good times over the years… this is the first time I’ve seen him truly content. Like, he just seems at peace in a way I’ve never seen before. You do more for him than you’ll ever know- probably ‘cause he’s too scared to tell you.” There’s a knowing glint in his golden eyes. “Emotional vulnerability, uh, isn’t exactly his strong suit.”
A bittersweet smile tugs at Jimmy’s mouth. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
Impulse claps him on the shoulder. “We’re gonna figure it out, okay? You guys aren’t alone in this.”
Warmth blooms in Jimmy’s chest. “Thank you, Impulse,” he says softly, “I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” Impulse returns his smile before sitting back in his chair. “Now, how about you get some rest?”
Jimmy’s heart jolts. “Wh- no, wait,” he protests, “I’m not gonna leave-”
“You can stay right here!” Impulse assures him easily. “Just close your eyes and rest a bit. I’ll keep an eye out, and wake you up as soon as Tango comes to, okay? But right now, frankly, you look exhausted. And I’m sure you’ll wanna be well-rested for whenever Tango’s ready to talk about stuff.”
“Ah…” Chewing his lip, Jimmy glances over at the door to the spare room- mere steps away.
Since he forewent a respawn, he has to admit some shut-eye would be quite welcome at the moment. The immediate danger has passed. And right now, there’s nothing he can do to help Tango but give him some time. Might as well spend that time resting.
“I… suppose you’re right,” he relents finally. “But you gotta promise you’ll wake me if anythin’ happens, alright?”
Impulse nods. “I promise.”
“Right, then.” Jimmy settles into his chair, folding his arms across his chest. He fights back a yawn. “Thanks again. I- I mean it though… any little thing…”
“I know, I know.” Impulse waves him off. “Don’t worry.”
“Famous last words,” Jimmy quips, closing his eyes.
Impulse huffs a laugh but says nothing else.
Silence settles over the room, filled only by Impulse’s steady breathing and the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of him typing away on his communicator. He’s probably updating the others on the situation, so Jimmy can rest easy. He’s considerate like that.
Jimmy would’ve thought it’d be hard to fall asleep. This chair isn’t exactly built for it, and as lovely as Impulse and Bdubs’s home is, it’s not the ranch.
The loss is still fresh. He already knows it’s gonna hit him even harder in the coming days. But for right now, the post-adrenaline exhaustion is finally sinking in, and before he knows it, he’s drifted off into the inky blackness.
~*~
A gentle hand on Jimmy’s shoulder startles him awake.
“Jimmy,” Impulse whispers, his golden eyes glowing in the darkness, “wake up.”
It must’ve been quite a deep, dreamless sleep, because while it seems to Jimmy that he only just closed his eyes, he can clearly see through the window that it’s been at least several hours. The sun has long since set; a half moon is rising in the night sky. That’s alright with Jimmy- he was afraid he’d have nightmares.
Rubbing his eyes, Jimmy squints at Impulse. “What’s goin’ on? Everythin’ okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Impulse scratches the back of his head. “I uh, I just heard a thud in Tango’s room so I went to check on him and- he’s fine, don’t worry!” he adds quickly, as Jimmy bolts upright. “He’s fine, he’s up, but he still seems kinda disoriented? Like, he’s conscious, but when I tried to go in… I guess I look a bit too intimidating,” he taps one of the curved horns poking out from his hair, “‘cause he growled at me.”
“Growled?” Jimmy repeats, raising his eyebrows.
(Well, that’s promising.)
(Round two!)
(Here we go…)
“Yeah.” Impulse gives a sad smile. “So um, I think you should go try and talk to him, if you’re up for it.”
“Oh.” Jimmy blinks. “Oh, right, of course.” He rises to his feet, shaking off residual soreness from his awkward sleeping position.
Impulse pulls a lantern from his inventory and holds it out to Jimmy. “Give a shout if you need anything.”
Jimmy takes the lantern. “Right, thanks.” Steeling himself, he creeps over to the spare room, knocking lightly on the door- which is slightly ajar. “Tango…?” he calls softly, poking his head into the room. “You okay?”
The bed is empty, covers strewn in disarray. Tango is crouched in the corner farthest from the door, his back pressed against the wall. Hunched over and breathing hard, he stares at Jimmy, his blood-stained face lit by the faint glow of his blaze rods. His pupils are dilated again, lips curled back to show his teeth. There’s no recognition in his expression at all.
(You cannot sleep, there are monsters nearby.)
Jimmy swallows. His heart starts to pound. “Tango,” he starts tentatively, holding the lantern up so his face is clearly illuminated as he steps forward, “it’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Tango makes a blaze noise deep in his throat; a haunting, hollow sort of growl. It’s unmistakably a warning.
Jimmy hesitates, wings shuffling uncertainly. How to get through to him? General reassurances don’t seem to be working. He needs to remind Tango of where he is, to convince him that he’s safe- in a way that only Jimmy would know.
He takes a breath. “Hey, rancher.”
Tango falls silent. Surprise flickers across his features, mouth parting, gaze sharpening. For a moment he just stares, motionless. Then he squints.
“... Jimmy?”
Oh, Jimmy could cry. “Yes, there we go!” he says encouragingly. “It’s me, it’s Jimmy. You okay, Tango?”
Tango’s breath hitches. He takes a single, careful step forward- then he halfs runs, half stumbles towards Jimmy.
Jimmy rushes to meet him, catching Tango before he falls. “Oh jeeze, okay…” Setting the lantern down on the bed, he lowers them to the floor, shifting so he can wrap Tango in his arms. “It’s alright, it’s alright…”
“Jimmy, thank god.” Tango clings to him just as tightly, face buried in Jimmy’s shirt. His claws dig into Jimmy’s skin just shy of being painful. “I- I woke up,” he gasps, “and the quartz- I thought I was…” He pulls away enough to scan Jimmy’s face, eyes wide and frightened. “Where are we? What- how long has it been?”
Jimmy knits his brows together. “Uh- we’re at Impulse and Bdubs’s place, and it’s been… several hours, I think? Half a day?”
“God.” A shudder runs through Tango. “That- that really happened, didn’t it?” He starts to breathe faster, his voice straining into that faint upper pitch that Jimmy’s come to associate with panic. “Oh god, I- I- I don’t- hhh, I c- can’t…”
“Hey, hey, breathe,” Jimmy soothes, rubbing circles on Tango’s back. “I’m here, you’re safe. It’s over. Just breathe.”
They stay like that for a while, Tango curled against Jimmy as he rides out the worst of it. He shakes violently, eyes squeezed shut, breath hitching as he tries to get control of it again. Jimmy’s heart aches for him- he wishes there was something more he could do to help.
But he knows from experience that just being here is enough.
It’s not terribly infrequent for Tango to have nightmares. Sometimes he simply startles awake at night, apologizes for waking Jimmy up, and goes back to sleep. If Jimmy asks about it the next morning, he brushes it off as nothing; just silly nonsense nightmares, the kind that are terrifying at the time but seem utterly ridiculous in the light of day. Nothing more than that.
And all this time, Jimmy believed him.
(What a fool.)
Jimmy’s only ever seen a couple nightmares cause a reaction as severe as this. The shaking, the shortness of breath, the panic. What helped in the past was simply holding Tango- offering a few reassurances, but mostly silent comfort. And of course, Tango never wanted to talk about those nightmares, and Jimmy didn’t want to push too hard. He’d figured that Tango would talk to him about it when he was ready.
(Fool me once, shame on you…)
Gradually, Tango calms down. His tremors cease, and his breathing starts to grow deeper. He’s still holding onto Jimmy, but it’s less desperate, now. More familiar. Jimmy curls his wings around them, as if providing another barrier, another layer of security.
After Tango’s been still and quiet for a few moments, Jimmy softly breaks the silence. “How much d’you remember?”
Tango takes a shaky breath. “All of it,” he whispers. “E- everything, I was- it was like I- I was watching everything happen to someone else, like I was outside my body…” He looks up to meet Jimmy’s gaze, eyes brimming with tears. “Jimmy, I- I’m so sorry.”
“What?” Jimmy frowns. “Tango, what on earth are you apologizing for?”
Abruptly, Tango pulls away. “I burned you,” he grits out.
“No, you-” Jimmy almost grabs him by the arm, but then thinks better of it. “That wasn’t your fault.”
Tango stares at him incredulously. “Wha’ th- what do you mean? Of course it was!” He rakes his claws through his hair. “I- I lost control, I set the ranch on fire, and you got burned.”
“That’s not the same thing,” Jimmy argues. “You didn’t do it on purpose, you were just defending yourself.”
“Doesn’t matter!” Tango throws his hands up. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gotten burned, true or false?”
(True!)
(He’s got a point…)
(Why are you arguing this?)
Jimmy doesn’t answer. “Look,” he says instead, “honestly, it’s not a big deal. I’m fine!”
“Well, you don’t look fine!” Tango says bluntly. Distress flashes across his face as he looks Jimmy up and down. “Your poor wings- and oh, your face! What, did- we didn’t respawn?”
Jimmy ducks his head. “I didn’t wanna put you through that,” he explains, wincing.
He can actually see the guilt in Tango’s eyes intensify. “Ohhh no,” he breathes, dismayed. “You- why did you…” Shaking his head, he fixes Jimmy with a firm look. “Okay, you- you need to respawn, now.”
“It’s not important,” Jimmy replies, just as stubbornly. He holds a hand out, beseeching. “Tango, please, I- I’ve been worried outta my mind about you. So much happened- ”
“I’m fine,” Tango says shortly.
“No, you’re not,” Jimmy insists, working hard not to raise his voice. “I mean, honestly, I- I don’t even know what that thing ‘round your neck is doin’!”
Tango shuts his mouth with a sharp click and glances away. 
That sobers Jimmy instantly. Tentatively, he scooches a bit closer to Tango. His eyes trace the collar- it’s so deceptively simple, so innocuous at first glance. Just a ring of smooth, flat iron. But clearly, there’s a lot more going on; a single red light above the keyhole hints at a mechanism hidden within.
“Do you… know what it is?” Jimmy ventures, giving Tango a searching look.
Tango’s jaw tightens. “It’s wither rose.”
Jimmy blinks, taken aback. “What? But… we aren’t withering, we aren’t takin’ damage-”
“It’s not…” Tango makes a noncommittal noise, waving a hand in an aborted gesture. “They’ve modified it, somehow, I dunno. It- it’s not the full effect. All it’s doin’ is dampening my fire.”
“And our soulbond,” Jimmy realizes, his stomach sinking. “After he put it on you, I- I couldn’t feel your emotions anymore. It’s just… numb.”
Tango’s face is grim. “That’s what wither rose does,” he says lowly.
The certainty in his voice is… somewhat concerning. Sure, any player who’s been ‘round the block will have learned what it feels like to be withered, at some point or another. But due to the tedious and somewhat risky nature of obtaining the roses by way of a wither farm, most players don’t regularly encounter them. And as far as aesthetics are concerned, they aren’t the most appealing flower, so when they are farmed, they’re mostly used for mass-producing black dye or as the killing method in a mob farm. Not as decor or landscaping, where a player might actually touch the rose and be subjected to the wither effect.
Personally, Jimmy can’t remember the last time he touched a wither rose, as a player who doesn’t make a habit of farming withers or even taking on the boss fight. But the tone of Tango’s voice right now is the tone of someone who is horribly familiar with the sensation.
“Tango…?” Jimmy prompts quietly. “Is there… somethin’ I should know?”
Tango swallows. He’s avoiding Jimmy’s eyes. “I… I don’t wanna talk about it,” he whispers hoarsely. “Not right now?”
It’s almost a plea, and Jimmy’s heart tightens. “Okay. That’s okay,” he says gently, forcing down his disappointment; this isn’t about him. He rises to his feet, holding out his hand to Tango. “Here, come on, let’s… let’s get up on the bed, alright? It’s late, you need some proper rest.”
Tango hesitates, though he accepts Jimmy’s offered hand to help him up. “You need to respawn…”
“It can wait,” Jimmy says easily. He tries for a grin. “Honestly, I- I already knew I wasn’t exactly easy on the eyes, but I didn’t think it was that bad…”
“No,” Tango says quickly, “no, you’re not-” He makes a frustrated noise. “Your wings.”
Jimmy softens. “They’re just feathers. They’ll grow back.”
Sure, it might take a while if his follicles have been badly damaged, and his wings won’t be a pretty sight once all the burned feathers fall out. But most of his flight feathers are still intact, so in terms of places to get burned, it could’ve been much worse.
Tango huffs a breath, clearly still upset with himself. But he doesn’t protest further as Jimmy eases onto the bed, gently pulling Tango with him. After collecting the lantern so the room is properly dark again, Jimmy nestles under the covers, sweeping a wing out to lightly gather Tango beside him.
Tango settles against him, and it’s then that Jimmy realizes he isn’t as warm as he used to be.
He’s not cold, not by any means. But Tango has always run a bit hotter than the average player- a blaze hybrid trait that Jimmy’s quite fond of. It was the whole reason they first shared a bed, back in the early days of the world, and inadvertently plunged their relationship into new, terrifying depths. If it wasn’t for that moment, they likely would’ve danced around the issue for far longer, and been robbed of many precious days of happiness together. So even on warm nights, Jimmy will still cuddle up beside Tango. Even if he has to kick all the blankets off.
But with the collar dampening Tango’s fire, he’s been robbed of that, as well.
Jimmy swallows the lump in his throat and puts an arm around Tango, who curls into his side, head resting on his shoulder. Having Tango so close is immediately comforting. God, to think of how close he came to losing this, to never holding Tango again… 
It’s scary. It’s incredibly scary. There are few things in the universe that can really, truly cause lasting harm to a player. Injuries can heal upon respawn, death isn’t permanent- except for worlds where it is, then they just respawn on a different world and start again. But if those Hels people had succeeded in taking Tango through that hacked portal, into some isolated prison world that Jimmy has no way of finding… he’s afraid that would’ve destroyed him.
Jimmy turns his head to press a kiss onto Tango’s forehead, right between the dimmed blaze rods hovering around his temples. “Goodnight.”
“Night,” Tango whispers back.
The room grows silent. Jimmy stares up at the dark ceiling. His earlier tiredness has up and left him, his mind racing, plagued by thoughts of what might’ve been. It’s all he can do to reassure himself that it’s over, that Tango’s safe and still here with him.
That for once, he was lucky.
(For how long, though?)
He isn’t trying to stay awake. And he isn’t pretending to be asleep, either, just laying quietly with his thoughts. But at some point Tango must think he’s nodded off, because only then does he start to cry.
It’s a quiet sound. Just the sharp inhale and exhale of breath. Jimmy might not have even known he was crying if it wasn’t for the way his shoulders shake, and the sudden dampness seeping into Jimmy’s shirt. 
It takes all of Jimmy’s willpower not to console Tango, to hold him tighter and offer hushed reassurances. There’s a reason Tango waited until he thought Jimmy was asleep- he’s very much the kind of person who prefers to show emotion on his own terms. If he knew Jimmy was awake to witness this, he’d completely shut down again. And he needs this.
So Jimmy pushes down his own emotions and does nothing as his soulmate cries, trying not to move or start crying himself as the guilt for being so useless eats him alive.
(Sweet dreams…)
~*~
Morning comes, eventually.
At least, as far as Jimmy can tell by his internal clock. The room he wakes up to is still fairly dark- just a slim beam of light coming in from the hallway through the cracked door. Impulse must’ve done that to better keep an ear out for them overnight. Thoughtful guy. Tango is sleeping deeply next to Jimmy, and the sight is quite comforting.
It seems they’ve kept with their usual sleeping habits, even without a sunrise to greet them.
Carefully, without jostling Tango, Jimmy pulls up his inventory to grab his communicator. He can’t recall hearing it go off, but he wants to make sure there isn’t anything that urgently requires his attention. He’s surprised, however, to find a potion of healing; Impulse must’ve slipped it to him while he was sleeping.
A smile tugs at Jimmy’s lips. He’s long since regenerated his health, but the potion ought to help with his lingering injury. He downs the potion quickly, grimacing at the cloyingly sweet note of melon. It doesn’t take long for a cooling sensation to settle over his broken nose. When he gently probes at it, he can feel it’s still a little crooked, but at least the pain is gone.
Putting the empty bottle away, Jimmy digs out his communicator, squinting against the blue light. No one’s used chat lately or sent him any whispers- it seems they’re taking the request for privacy quite seriously. But there is the backlog from yesterday waiting for him. It takes him a minute just to scroll back to where it all began.
Bravo joined the game.
<Grian> ey??
AtlasSyn joined the game.
Tyrannicide joined the game.
Phantonym joined the game.
<Grian> EYY????
Helfyre_004 joined the game.
<PearlescentMoon> Ummm?
<Renthedog> What the heck??
CRIMETIME joined the game.
t3rr0r_b1te joined the game.
EbonyHelmentia joined the game.
baddomen666 joined the game.
<InTheLittleWood> WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?
staluggmite joined the game.
PwrPlayz joined the game.
<PearlescentMoon> Hello??
XxSLAYERxX joined the game.
Vexed2theMax joined the game.
ApexGamer98 joined the game.
<Smajor1995> wait how is this happening
<PearlescentMoon> Raid?? D:
SheHelsSeaHels joined the game.
ne’er_do_hels joined the game.
<Grian> i don;t know??
Jaffu joined the game.
<Grian> theres no one at spawn???
<Etho> woah!
<SolidarityGaming> SOS RSNCH
<Smajor1995> oh no
<Renthedog> What??
<Smallishbeans> rsnch lol
<GoodTimeWithScar> G come pick me up
Tyrannicide was slain by Tango.
staluggmite was slain by Tango.
Phantonym was slain by Tango.
<InTheLittleWood> Wait WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
<Smallishbeans> NO WAY
<BdoubleO100> OHHHHHHH
<Grian> EVERYONE TO RANCH
<ZombieCleo> what is happening???
staluggmite joined the game.
Tyrannicide joined the game.
<Smajor1995> omw cleo
Phantonym joined the game.
<impulseSV> Etho, Joel, our place?
<Renthedog> BigB where you at??
<bigbst4tz2> coming
SheHelsSeaHels was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]
EbonyHelmentia was shot by Smajor1995.
XxSLAYERxX was slain by impulseSV.
CRIMETIME was slain by Wolf.
t3rr0r_b1t3 was slain by Renthedog.
Jaffu was doomed to fall by ZombieCleo.
SheHelsSeaHels joined the game.
ne’er_do_hels was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]
Tyrannicide was slain by Renthedog.
XxSLAYERxX joined the game.
EbonyHelmentia joined the game.
CRIMETIME joined the game.
Phantonym was slain by Etho.
t3rr0r_b1t3 joined the game.
ne’er_do_hels joined the game.
XxSLAYERxX was slain by Wolf.
Jaffu joined the game.
Helfyre_004 was slain by Renthedog.
Vexed2theMax was slain by bigbst4tz2.
Tyrannicide joined the game.
XxSLAYERxX joined the game.
Jaffu was slain by Renthedog.
SheHelsSeaHels was slain by Wolf.
bigbst4tz2 was shot by AtlasSyn.
Renthedog died.
Phantonym joined the game.
baddomen666 was slain by Wolf.
SheHelsSeaHels joined the game.
Jaffu joined the game.
PwrPlayz was slain by InTheLittleWood.
Helfyre_004 joined the game.
Vexed2theMax joined the game.
staluggmite was slain by Smallishbeans.
Helfyre_004 was shot by Smajor1995.
EbonyHelmentia was slain by Wolf.
PwrPlayz joined the game.
ApexGamer98 was slain by PearlescentMoon.
baddomen666 joined the game.
PwrPlayz was slain by Wolf.
Jaffu was slain by Wolf.
baddomen666 was shot by Smajor1995.
EbonyHelmentia joined the game.
Vexed2theMax was slain by InTheLittleWood.
PearlescentMoon was shot by AtlasSyn.
Smajor1995 died.
Helfyre_004 joined the game.
ApexGamer98 joined the game.
SheHelsSeaHels was slain by Wolf.
ne’er_do_hels was slain by Wolf.
baddomen666 joined the game.
Vexed2theMax joined the game.
Helfyre_004 was slain by Wolf.
baddomen666 was slain by impulseSV.
CRIMETIME was slain by Smallishbeans.
Phantonym was slain by Wolf.
Vexed2theMax was slain by Wolf.
t3rr0r_b1t3 was slain by Wolf.
ApexGamer98 was slain by BdoubleO100.
Tyrannicide was slain by Wolf.
EbonyHelmentia was slain by Wolf.
AtlasSyn left the game.
XxSLAYERxX was slain by Wolf.
Bravo was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]
Grian was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]
GoodTimeWithScar died.
Jimmy doesn’t know how long he spends looking at chat, reading it over and over again as he tries to make sense of it. All those Hels players came here with the express purpose of kidnapping Tango. But why? Dr. Atlas had said something about ‘getting back to work’ and a farm design, but what does that even mean? 
Speaking of that doctor fella, he seems to have been the only one to get kills on the Double Lifers- the rest of them must’ve been preoccupied with Pearl’s wolves. Gosh, to think what her chat must look like…
But that’s something worth noting. Atlas didn’t waste his time with wolves, he went for Pearl and Bigb. He must’ve realized the wolves were Pearl’s and targeted her because of it. And the fact he went for Bigb instead of Ren, who was racking up the most kills... that means he was able to put together that they were soulbound, and he used that to get rid of the threat more easily.
Out of these Hels players, Atlas is clearly the one to watch out for.
Well, him and Bravo, of course. Though Bravo technically isn’t a Hels, if Jimmy’s understood it properly. But he’s certainly just as cruel and bloodthirsty as those other guys were, and he’s got it out for Tango the most. Jimmy can’t recall the last time he saw such hate in a player’s eyes, for any reason. And this is the guy claiming he should’ve been Jimmy’s soulmate? Unbelievable.
As if Jimmy would ever go for such a dense, hateful, entitled piece of-
“Honey,” Tango says suddenly, sitting up on his elbows, “you okay?”
Jimmy jolts in surprise; he must’ve been looking quite cross with his communicator. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he assures Tango softly, offering an apologetic smile. “Sorry if I woke you.”
It’s difficult to make out details in the scarce light from the hallway, but Tango looks much improved from yesterday. Even underneath the dried blood, the warmth has returned to his skin, replacing that sickly, pale pallor. His red eyes are sharp and alert- that’s a huge relief, as well.
“No, no, you’re good!” Tango says brightly. He leans over to press a kiss to Jimmy’s cheek. “Sleep alright?”
His tone throws Jimmy for a moment. Someone’s feeling better. Blinking, Jimmy puts his comm away. “I did, yeah,” he answers uncertainly. “You?”
“Yep!” Tango smiles at him; it seems a bit forced. “I uh- I’m all rest-ificated and ready to start the day. So, what I- well, I- I guess our first order of business, we should go take a look at the ranch, right, see what the damage is? Then we can do some resource gathering and start rebuilding, so we aren’t crashing at Impulse and Bdubs’s place forever.”
Jimmy pauses for a moment to process the words. “Umm… are you sure?” he asks tentatively. “I mean, we can go look at it if you want, but uh, are you- we should really focus on getting that collar off you first, don’t you think?”
Tango shrugs. He isn’t quite meeting Jimmy’s eyes. “Doesn’t bother me. Besides, we don’t have the key.”
Jimmy knits his brows together. “So what, we just... let it alone? Move on?”
Tango huffs a laugh- it sounds a bit faint. “Yeah, yeah exactly.” 
(What an abrupt change of character!)
(Lying again, it seems…)
(How suspicious.)
Okay, this is definitely strange behavior. Considering everything that happened yesterday, Jimmy would’ve expected Tango to still be physically and emotionally wrecked. But instead, he seems rather keen to just move on, like everything’s normal- 
Ah. Of course. Jimmy doesn’t know why he’s surprised.
“Tango...” he starts, “I don’t think-”
“Good morning!” Impulse hums as he pokes his head through the cracked door. “How we doin’, guys?”
Curse his timing. Tango, of course, immediately takes advantage of the distraction.
“Oh, hey Impy!” he says cheerfully. “Hey uh, sorry about earlier. You know, I uh, I was a little confused, and uh… you know...” He pulls a face; overdramatized. He’s trying to make light of it.
Impulse seems to share the same realization as Jimmy. “Hey, it’s alright,” he says easily, though he keeps his tone in a lower register- more serious. Not feeding into the fake energy. “No hard feelings. Here, I brought some food.”
Tango takes the offered food without even a second of hesitation; a stack of golden carrots. “Of course. Thank you, thank you.” He quickly starts crunching on one, conveniently busying himself so he doesn’t have to say anything else.
Oh well, at least he’s eating. Jimmy gives Impulse a tired smile. “Hey, Impulse. Thanks again for lettin’ us crash here.”
Impulse returns his smile. “Yeah, of course, no problem. So um, I’ve just got a bit of an update for you guys.” He sits down at the end of the bed, expression sobering. “The ranch situation is under control, they managed to get the fire out before it spread to anything else nearby. So your pastures, barns, and fields are safe. All your animals, too.”
It’s easy enough to pick up on what he’s left out. “But the ranch itself is gone, isn’t it?” Jimmy says quietly.
Impulse nods. “I’m sorry. Most of what’s left is just the stone. I think the basement is pretty intact, too, but everything else…”
“Yep.” Tango, finished with his carrot, shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, I figured. That’s what we get for building with wood, even though I’m super flammable and stuff.”
Jimmy gives him a sympathetic look. “It’ll be okay-”
“So,” Tango interrupts, avoiding Jimmy’s gaze as he gives Impulse an intent look, “uh- anything else?”
(Ouch! Testy…)
Impulse rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. Grian wants to know if you guys are up for a chat. Nothing bad,” he adds quickly, “he’s just trying to figure out a solution and we’re just a little in the dark about everything. You can stick to the basics; if there’s something you aren’t comfortable telling us, that’s fine-”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Tango assures him. Despite his grin, there’s a hard edge to his voice. “Let’s do it. Call everyone up, we’ll have a nice chat at spawn or something. Let’s- let’s get goin’.”
Impulse pauses. “Well, if you want, we can have just Grian come over...”
Tango huffs. “No, why- let’s just get everyone on the same page, okay? Get it all over with at once.” He spreads his hands. “No point in delaying, or- or having to explain the same thing over and over again, right? I mean, everyone’s stuck here ‘til Grian lifts the lockdown, I- I’m sure they’ll wanna know why.”
Jimmy exchanges a look with Impulse. “I… I suppose,” he says hesitantly. “But are you sure you’re-”
“Yeah,” Tango says, “yeah, it’s fine.” 
Impulse purses his lips, clearly fighting not to let his frustration show. 
The sentiment is one that Jimmy shares. It’s obvious Tango is trying to downplay everything- and if that’s his way of coping, fine. But it really throws a wrench into the works when moving forward requires actually addressing what happened, and having an in-depth conversation about it. And this doesn’t bode well for long-term; they can’t just pretend everything’s normal, no matter how much Tango might wish it. 
“Okay, I’ll let him know.” Impulse rises to his feet. “The bathroom’s at the end of the hallway if you guys wanted to wash up.”
Tango actually makes a face at that, dropping the facade for a moment. He really doesn’t like water. “Wash up..?”
Impulse winces. “You’re um. Still covered in dried blood.”
(I was wondering when he’d realize that…)
Tango blinks. “Oh. Oh, right, of course.” Absently, he reaches a hand up to scratch at his chin. “I should probably wash that off, yeah. I mean, everyone knows I’m a vicious monster but I don’t have to look it, right?” he laughs.
Jimmy’s heart tightens. “Hey, Tango…”
“No,” Impulse protests, “that’s not-”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Tango says shortly. “Thanks, Impulse.”
“Alright.” Impulse lets the matter drop, turning to leave. “Come downstairs when you’re ready.”
As soon as Impulse is gone, Jimmy turns to Tango. “Hey, so-”
But Tango has already hopped out of bed and crossed to the door, calling, “Hang on, be right back!” over his shoulder.
Down the hall, Jimmy hears the bathroom door open and close. He sighs.
This is gonna be a fun conversation.
~*~
CONTINUED IN PART IX, ACT II
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moodymelanist · 11 months ago
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I Guess It's Half Timing (And The Other Half's Luck) Chapter Nine - November
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I AM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE but we made it. happy belated thanksgiving and happy holidays to everyone celebrating!!
we only have the epilogue to go after this, so I hope y’all enjoy this chapter and all its softness. everything is finally paying off in this chapter and I can’t wait to hear everyone’s thoughts about it 🥹🥹🥹
I’ll save all my sappy feels for the epilogue when I post it tomorrow, but I can’t believe we’re almost done with this fic. where did the time go truly!!!!
✷✷✷✷✷
Nesta
October quickly flew by and rolled right into November, and before Nesta knew it, she was unpacking her winter clothes from storage and talking to Cassian about what they were going to do for Thanksgiving.
Nesta normally got roped into Elain’s Thanksgiving plans with Lucien, Eris, and Gwyn’s giant family, but one look at Cassian’s puppy eyes made it clear that whatever they decided to do, Nesta would be spending the holiday with him. She thankfully wouldn’t be alone – Rhys had invited Feyre to come to dinner, a development that Nesta would not let rest as long as she had the breath to talk about it – and Elain had promised to stop by to see the both of them at some point.
Emerie would be spending the holiday with her girlfriend, Cresseida, who she’d brought to Nesta’s baby shower the month before. In a strange twist of fate, it turned out that Cresseida’s brother was dating Amren, so Emerie would be the one putting up with her instead of Nesta.
It was really such a shame. Emerie had rolled her eyes when Nesta had told her as much, but she certainly hadn’t disagreed.
Keep reading on AO3 here!
tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing | @avidromancereader | @a-little-disguised | @kale-theteaqueen
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dc418writes · 2 years ago
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•Baby’s First Hanukkah•
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✨Pairing✨: Ari Levinsonxblack!reader
Summary🪄: A surprise visit leads to an emotional first day of Hanukkah (Operation:Rekindle addition)
⚠️: Ari (😏….y’all know lol), bit of angst in this one, fluff, mention of pregnancy
A/N🎙️: ✨Happy belated Hanukkah and Merry belated Christmas to those who celebrated! And Happy Holidays to everyone who doesn’t celebrate✨! I intended this to be out wayy earlier but here we are lol also I hope the explanation I have for Hanukkah is correct, but if there’s something I need to change please let me know☺️
*Disclaimer!: although collage was made by me, I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP of pictures used as they were all found on Pinterest*
“Not celebrating Christmas?,” your mother asks with arms crossed and a raised perfectly arched brow. Clearly not pleased with the words that just slipped past your lips.
“I didn’t say that. I just said we’re not gonna make it to the party this year. We wanna stay in and be with ourselves instead you know? We’ll still come Christmas Day.”
“Which is perfectly fine,” your father interjects before your mother could say anything more. “Right Tori?”
You knew this would happen. It’s exactly why you planned to call her the night before with your fool proof excuse of having caught a stomach bug and needing to stay in. No one would get hurt and you could freely spend that evening with Ari. Plus you wouldn’t have to dance around the actual reason you were skipping your family’s annual Christmas soirée.
However, your mother’s perfect timing and knack for pop up visits sent that down the river in a fiery pile of ashes.
“Well, could’ve fooled me with all the Hanukkah decorations and lack of Christmas tree,” she retorts waving her hand back and forth emphasizing the decorations you already set.
“I still have to put it up,” you answer focused on making sure the menorah was properly centered on the island. Or maybe it’d look better on the other table? “And, as I’ve told you before, Ari is Jewish. So these decorations are for him, and to make it feel like his place just as much as it is mine.”
“Mm..and where is Mr. Ari so he can help?”
“He’s still sleeping-,”
“And leaving you with all the work.” A humorless “tuh” huffs from Tori’s lungs as she turns towards your father. “Some boyfriend huh Howard?”
“He was up late studying,” you state finally facing your parents standing in your living room. Your facial muscles working overtime trying to keep your annoyance and anger hidden.
Unknown to you, Ari was wide awake on the other side of the wall in your bedroom hearing every word since your parents stepped over the threshold. Heartbeat already elevated on where this conversation would go.
“Look, I know you’re in love with him-,”
“Tori,” your father tries to warn, but you both knew nothing was stopping her.
“But that doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. Couples can have separate lives sweet girl.”
“I know, and we do-,”
“So it’s settled then! You’ll rightly be with us, you’re family, for Christmas as usual and he’ll be with his,” she smiles. “Which then leaves New Years for you two spending time together.”
Ari didn’t have to be out there to know you were growing frustrated. He could already see your jaw tick and nostrils slightly flare. Feel the heat radiate from your skin to the surrounding air.
“Ari’s my family too.”
“Yea you’re close, but-,”
“No, because he’s my husband,” you reveal in a flurry of words; exasperated with the idea of this conversation continuing.
“That’s sweet of you to claim him for your future-,”
“I’m not talking about the future mom, I mean now! We..we got married in July. At the courthouse.”
Unsurprisingly, there’s a long silence as your parents stand blinking at you. Their expressions unreadable and solely trained on you even when Ari quietly strides by your side in his college tee and sweats.
Your mother’s eyes eventually drift to your hand where your ring prettily sat on your finger. It was simple with just a single diamond that some would consider small, but it was all you needed. And you loved that ring because of the man that gave it to you.
“So that’s not a promise ring like you said,” she calmly states. Everyone around could feel her rising anger though.
“Well technically it is. Just for a..legally binding promise,” you nervously smile. It quickly falls at the sight of their disappointment. “This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you.”
“After five months it seems like you weren’t planning to tell us at all Y/N!”
Ari desperately wanted to come to your rescue and try to calm everyone, but what could he really say to help? He’s tried before when he felt your mother was being too tough on you while in school scolding you on what you should be doing and when. How you needed to be putting yourself out there in as many clubs and organizations as you could to network and possibly get an internship. Maybe even a job right out of college.
“She’s doing really well and always trying her best Mrs. Y/L/N,” he states standing across your mother on the opposite side of the kitchen island. However, she’s more concerned with perfecting the cake batter in front of her than to look him in the eyes. “I-I get you want the best for her-,”
“Exactly, I want the best for my daughter as any parent does their child,” she calmly replies - scarily calm in fact - lifting her head to finally meet his nervous blues. “Something I know you wouldn’t fully understand seeing as though you have no children. Correct?”
“Right..”
“So until that day comes- actually no, even if that day comes, I suggest you refrain from trying to suggest how I parent my daughter. Understood Ari?”
Nervously shifting from one foot to the other, he agrees with a quiet, “Understood,” and a slight tip of his head before his presence is ignored once again by your now sweetly humming mother.
Since then, he’s kept his interactions with her short - and she’s pretty much done the same on her end.
“I’ll be in the car,” she says after the most tense moment of silence any of them had ever experienced.
“Mom I’m sorry.” Your apology falls on deaf ears as she continues forward striding through the door and letting it slam with a loud thud that rattled the wall. “She hates me.”
“No she doesn’t,” your father sighs stepping close enough to give your shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “Neither of us could ever hate you. We’re just hurt.”
A lone tear falls as he places a kiss to your temple and you feel your heart ache. You knew the consequences of your actions all those months ago as you stood hand in hand with Ari in front of the judge. Nothing could have prepared you for actually having to endure those consequences though.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of mom sweet pea. We’ll see you guys on Christmas,” he painfully smiles before making his way out the door as well.
But not without Ari close on his heels catching him halfway down the wooden steps outside your door.
“Mr. Y/L/N it’s my fault. I’m the one who brought up the idea of getting married,” Ari admits with guilt etched into his strong features. “Be more upset with me than you are with her.”
Your father can’t help the small smile that forms on his lips at your husband’s attempt to make things right. Since their first meeting, he could see how he’d gladly do whatever was needed to make you happy. How protective he was and completely enamored by everything that was you. It warmed his heart that you found someone who loved you possibly just as much as he did.
He realized then his prayer for you to be taken care of by a good man had been answered.
“Ari this is no one’s fault, alright? You both are grown, so if you want to get married you have every right. As far as us though, that’s our little girl who we dreamed of walking down the aisle and giving away. Gifting her with a big wedding where we could all celebrate that next stage of life with her and her husband. To not even be invited or told beforehand what was gonna happen it’s..,” he sighs briefly letting his eyes wander trying to find the right words, “it’s as if someone slapped us right across the face before the punch to the gut.”
Ari’s face falls in shame putting himself in the older man’s shoes. Of course he didn’t regret marrying you, but looking back he should’ve pushed more for you to be open with your parents. To not be afraid of their reaction and firm in that this was your decision.
Instead, he went along with your promise of telling them later so clouded by the joy and excitement of being wed to the love of his life.
“It might sound dramatic, but if you decide to have children you’ll understand.”
“No, I-I get it..and I’m sorry.”
Your father nods appreciatively, “Just give us some time son. We’ll be okay.”
Son. That was a good sign right?
“Happy Hanukkah Ari. And take care of my baby girl.”
“Of course sir,” he smiles. “Thank you.”
With a final wave goodbye, he watches your father descend the steps joining your mother in the running car; definitely still upset from the scowl twisting her face as she gazed out the passenger window.
He can hear your sniffles as he re-enters the linen scented space quickening his feet until he can sit next to you on the couch rubbing circles in your back and kissing your forehead.
“That’s definitely not what I wanted you to wake up to,” you half heartedly chuckle wiping your watery eyes.
“Hey don’t worry about that. I’m just sorry I even put you in the situation in the first place when I brought up getting married at the courthouse.”
Your fingers find his jaw softly scratching the bit of scruff lining it as you carefully shift to sit in his lap. “It was still my decision though. And yes I should’ve told them sooner..but I wouldn’t change how and when we got married,” you smile leaving two kisses, sweet as honey, on his lips. A beat of comfortable silence falls over the two of you while he holds you close to his chest gently rocking back and forth. Both of you taking in the sounds of birds and children outside for a few minutes as he occasionally pecks your temple and your heartbeats mold into a similar rhythm.
“Now,” you begin, sitting up to clear your face of any remaining streaks and tears, “I distinctly remember you promising to teach me all about Hanukkah. And cook me every dish until my stomach feels like it’s gonna pop.”
“Sweetheart, it’s okay you don’t-,”
“A promise is a promise Ari!,” you dramatically state with a poke to his well built chest making his lips curl in a light chuckle. “Plus I want to. Like I said you’re my family too, and I wanna learn and explore everything about you.”
When he thought he couldn’t love you any more than he already did, there you were adorably making him fall even harder.
“Okay…so there was once a king named Antiochus, who ruled over Syria and lived outside of Israel. Now this king was horrible and so absorbed with himself, he ordered everyone in the countries he conquered to worship the Gods he did and abandon their usual practices. Eventually, he made his way to Israel where he enforced that order on the Jews and even went as far as commanding his soldiers to destroy our temples if the people weren’t willing to convert them. Unfortunately, this included the most beautiful of them that was in Jerusalem.”
Your attention stayed glued on the man with his arms around you, looking up with an adoring smile to see his eyes sparkle and how his lips moved filling your living room with a deep voice full of passion and animation. You didn’t have to ask to know he was the favorite among his little cousins for storytelling.
“Some followed the king’s orders to avoid trouble, but there were others, like Judah Maccabee, who stood up to him. He and his brothers formed an army to go against Antiochus and the Syrian army to take back their home and free his people from the king’s rule. They were outnumbered, I’m talking like middle schoolers up against a professional team, but they won! They reclaimed Jerusalem and everyone was thrilled, however when they entered the temple in Jerusalem, everything was ruined. The floor was cracked, gold pitchers tarnished, and most importantly, there was no oil to light the menorah. They found a little while cleaning up, but knew it’d only last through the night. Instead though, they were surprised to watch it stay lit for eight days and nights, which they took as a sign that God was with them. So in remembrance of that miracle and our own reminder of how God is always with us, we light a candle on the menorah each night for eight total nights. Plus we spend time with family, eat food, and play games as part of our complete Hanukkah celebration,” Ari smiles brushing a loose curl behind your ear. “Didn’t bore you too much did I?”
“Of course not. I loved it honey.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you peck his lips before nuzzling your face against his warm skin taking in his wood and sage cologne. “I can’t wait until you get to tell it to our kids.”
“Me either, but we still got a good while for that beautiful.”
“Or..it might come sooner than you think..”
“Maybe,” he shrugs.
“Like this summer,” you add being met with silence as you felt his head tilt. Something he tended to do when in thought or confused.
Gently lifting you from his chest, the sight of you nervously biting your lip is all the answer he needs as his expression morphs from confused to disbelief and finally shock. “B-But wait..how- when-?”
“Halloween and our um after party when we left your cousin’s. I’m nearly two months so I just did the math in my head and figured.” Thinking back, he remembers how both of you seemed to be unable to keep your hands off the other as soon as you walked through your apartment door. Him being in some type of hypnotic, aroused trance after watching you play with his toddler cousins and you after just seeing him with his family period. How you couldn’t wait to give him one of his own.
“I-I know it’s not part of our plan right now, especially with you in grad school and me figuring out my stuff-,”
“But it’s okay. We got this.” You hadn’t realized you were crying until you feel his thumb brush along your cheeks. Having kept your stress hidden for all this time, and what happened with your parents earlier, it was probably time to get your emotions out whether you wanted to or not.
“I just hope I live long enough to meet little bug,” he chuckles pressing his nose to your cheek before resting his forehead on yours. “You know your parents are definitely gonna kill me when they find out.”
“They won’t, but if they try I’ll just stand in front of you. They wouldn’t hurt the pregnant lady carrying their grandchild.”
“We might need to be handcuffed together for the rest of your pregnancy then.”
Taglist: @celestianstars @stargirlfics @fumbling-fanfics @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @adoreyouusugar @lovebittenbyevans @royalwriteroftheuniverse @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @theartisticqueen @chrisevans-world @literaturelove @ivorylei @elrw24 @pono-pura-vida @yinx1 @justile @sunsetfreedom05 @jackiekae @luvingmyships @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @bekinds @maxcullen @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss
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pennedbyeve · 11 months ago
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Outtake one ft. Johnny and Amira
Note:
I don’t usually do holiday shorts, but I’ve been in a real festive mood recently, I also thought it would be a fun to do something light hearted.
I also want to do random outtakes in my stories that are not necessarily full length chapters but little something ever now and then.
Merry belated Christmas + happy holidays y’all. 🎄
Johnny
HE LIVED FOR THE HOILDAYS. Ever since he was a child, it was something that brought him enjoyment, he would enjoy picking out gifts with his mom for Amira - he knew how particular she was, she wanted the Black Barbie with beautiful curls or she would want red playdough and his mom would happily oblige.
This year was no expectation to that. but this time he was providing the gifts for her and not relying on his mother, this year he opted for something more simplistic because he noticed that her style was changing, and evolving into something minimal, he found a local jeweler nearby and he finalized on getting her a gold necklace with her name. The way gold complimented her skin, he knew that she would like it, or at least that's what he had hoped.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
As he wrapped the last present he placed it under his tree - he had spent forever decorating it, he made sure the ornaments were secure and were placed precisely around the tree and the garland were placed on his stairway, everything looked perfect in his eyes and he was hoping that Amira would like it.
As he heard a knock on the door after a few hours, he opened the door and there she was dressed comfortably in a red Christmas sweater that complimented her skin tone along with black leather pants and some combat boots.
“Hey.” She gave him a brief hug as she put down the gifts she got him underneath the tree.
“You didn’t have to get me anything Amira.”
She shook her head, “I wanted to.”
Amira
CHRISTMAS WAS TIME FOR THEM.
She knew that he was going to protest against the gifts, but as long as they had been friends this was her time to express how she felt without directly saying it.
As she maneuvered around the kitchen, she took out the oat milk from the fridge - and then used her hip to close it to make hot chocolate.
“Johnny, do you want marshmallows in your hot chocolate?”
He laughed, “Is that even a question.”
She made their hot chocolate after a few minutes. heading into the living room she could tell he was contemplating on what Christmas movie to watch, to branch out from their usual movie. She handed him the cup before she selected the polar express since they were children this was one of her favorite movies, she pulled the blanket over the both of them as they watched, he watched her, he leaned in as he pulled her in a bit kissing her softly.
“Merry Christmas.”
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captainderyn · 11 months ago
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Merry Christmas and happy new year to everyone!! I’ve been super MIA, mostly traveling all around to see family and fervently knitting to finish belated Christmas gifts.
I’m hoping to start coming out of my self imposed cave after the holidays, but I miss y’all ❤️ and in other news, there’s gonna be a Mr. Deryn (calling myself Mrs Deryn would imply I’m not the original xD)!! I got engaged!! So that’s been a fun new thing
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aziraphales-library · 2 years ago
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Hello lovely mods! Y’all are doing the lord’s work over here, and I so appreciate all that you do!!
I know it will be WELL past the holiday season by the time you read this, but would I be able to rec “You’re All I Want For Christmas” by theshoparoundthecorner ? Tbh it’s a lovely read no matter the season, with Crowley and Aziraphale through the ages and lots of mutual pining.
Thanks again for everything! 💜
Thank you my dear for the rec and a belated Happy Christmas to you!
You're All I Want For Christmas by theshoparoundthecorner [rated G, 36K words]
"Soho was uncharacteristically empty. As the wind calmed a bit, the streets were as quiet as the snow that fell upon them, not a single person in sight.
A good thing, too. No one should be caught dead in this weather.
The bookshop was wonderfully empty, and Aziraphale had spent the whole day doing as he pleased, knowing the weather would deter potential customers from sticking their noses in. Sure enough, he hadn’t had one person come in to bother him. He had been completely alone with his books all day, free to read, and watch the snow, and not worry about anyone dropping by unexpectedly.
But that thought didn’t thrill him as much as it usually would.
It was Christmas Eve. And he was alone.
Aziraphale didn’t mind being alone. In fact, he rather enjoyed it.
But tonight felt different. Tonight, as he had sat down for his annual re-read of 'A Christmas Carol', a melancholic feeling had washed over him, like he was meant to be doing something else at the moment. That was absurd, of course, he hadn’t made any particular plans, but something just felt…wrong.
Someone was missing."
Five Times Aziraphale and Crowley almost spent Christmas together, and one time they did.
-Mod AB
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usergreenpixel · 2 years ago
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Citizens and Neighbors, once again fate has decided to screw me over:
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Yep, my BLOOD PRESSURE of all possible things chose violence (these numbers are a little high for me) so I can’t post reviews today. I’m truly sorry to have left you without New Year or Christmas reviews this time but I’m really not feeling too well right now. It doesn’t help that I’m experiencing a tiny setback with my depression recovery lately…
I can’t say when exactly I will post “Danton” and “Needing Napoleon” reviews but I’ll try to do it soon. Please consider them belated holiday posts still.
Happy holidays and please take care. Love y’all, guys, you’re amazing.
Love,
Citizen Green Pixel
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kithtaehyung · 2 years ago
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Happy belated new year, Ryen! Thank you for gracing us with 3tan and also all the little drabbles! Hope you are taking this time to rest and recharge as you planned 💜 Good things come to those who wait, so please take your time 😊! Thank you for everything so far, I love reading your replies to your readers and your little murderous teasers... - 🥦
BROCCOLI🥺🥺🥺 nice to hear from you, love! Happy new year and I hope it finds you well.
I’m certainly doing some resting in between all the writing and irl stuff I’m working on. Honestly I’m pretty stoked to share what I have planned for this year even though I’m nervous as hell lmao😅 the holiday special is coming along and I’m working on it again tonight👩‍💻
Everyone here is great so it’s no problem responding to y’all. I enjoy it and tbh I really like coming on here and hanging out. It’s become routine to think about everyone and wonder how you’re doing🍊
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flawless-v1ctory · 11 months ago
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the way I forgot to wish y’all
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So happy belated holidays🫶💗
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changbeens · 1 year ago
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Your secret santa here!🎄🎁 Sorry i’ve been AWOL, there’s always so much to do before christmas and it’s keeping me on my toes!!
Happy (belated) Chanukah! Do y’all have any traditions around the holidays? Mine always goes ice skating on christmas eve (which is also my birthday). Your niece and nephew sound really cute <3<3 I feel like young kids always make the holidays more magical. Lol glad to hear you’re staying out of the bad weather, I kind of wish it would rain where I am since it’s always sunny. Let’s trade weather for a day lmao I was curious, what’s your favorite type of skz content? comeback activities, skz talker, skz code, or something else? is there something you come back to and re-watch a lot? I’m constantly discovering great stuff from them I didn’t know existed, they’re truly the gift that keeps on giving. Wow, you’re organizing so much around this time! On top of holiday stuff it must be a lot to keep track of, so just wanna shout out my thanks! I’ve definitely been having a blast participating :) it’s great to see the fandom so lively. Hope you’re having a lovely week! - ur secret santa✨💝
a christmas eve baby? could my secret santa be my beloved han seungwoo??? that would be wacky, i dont remember seeing him sign up...
we dont really have any big traditions, my dad visits early on christmas morning and we have a big breakfast and open all the gifts. this year my sister decided we were each going to get each other gifts that started with the first letter of our names (except for the kids, we could get them whatever we wanted). so there's going to be a lot of weird and wild gifts this year
my favourite type of skz content... hm, definitely the music tbh. i'm notoriously awful at watching things, i lose concentration so easily. i mostly enjoy seeing them all just being together and having a great time. they do so much its hard to keep up
organising events is honestly the least i can do for the community. i dont do much else so its fun to organise a couple of events each year for everyone to join in with 💚
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cavenewstimes · 2 years ago
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Jon’s Stone-Cold Cop List #36: Live from New York Jon Cappetta
Happy belated 4/20 y’all! I hope you enjoyed the special print version of the Cop List that went up last week. That one originally ran in the magazine but I figured since it was the holiday, and I didn’t want to rush a new one out just yet, that was a safe one to let rip. We could call it 35.5 – it was intended to have a more national feel, focusing on products rather than dank specifically, but…
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xjumbled-up-brainx · 2 years ago
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:0 I realize I never posted about this whoops my bad😅
BUT YES HAPPY (belated) HOLIDAYS TO ALL YALL OCTOFAM :D ❤️❤️❤️
Twas rly fun and cool and y’all are the bestest✨
WE MADE A CHRISTMAS PROJECT
It's better to see it on PC or laptop I swear
Make sure you check all the artists featured in the blue star that appears at the start 🐻‍❄
Here are my entries swyvwuysvy7w
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Such an honour to have worked with you all *arabic kith on head*
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closetedotaku01 · 4 years ago
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Tsukishima Kei - Cold Winter Mornings
Seasons of Love Masterlist
A/N: For all those who love Tsukishima Kei, I hope this keeps you warm
You’d always managed to change his mind on things like this. His hatred of PDA quickly evolved into a genuine desire to always be holding your hand, to kiss your cheek when you were being too adorable to resist, a preference for the back seats that bent his legs awkwardly so he could press his thighs up to yours. He can’t seem to help it. The way his patience is extended when he can watch you browsing through the bookshops. The way he has almost developed an addiction to that trashy TV show you’re addicted to. You’ve affected him. Taken hatred and annoyances and the displeasing parts of reality that always felt like inevitabilities, into the parts of life he most looks forward to.
But more than anything, Tsukishima hates the cold. He’s always been the cold one, forced to bundle up in extra layers, always caught rubbing his hands together before shoving them into his fleece-lined pockets.. Forced to wear gloves and scarves at a slight chill.
When he was young he was embarrassed of wearing ear muffs in autumn, so he chose to wear headphones to cover his ears, keeping his hands in his pockets. It was what helped him learn about his love for music, and it’s what helped him keep his distance from most people once he learned that was a necessity for his… safety.
Waking up those first few mornings as autumn shifted to winter, as the chill transformed into a burning freeze, were always the worst. He’d wake up with his bones aching, curled tight on himself, and then he would be forced to exit his bed. Put on a hoodie he used for cold night pajamas, throw on some socks, and turn the heater up. But by the time he did all that the bed would be cold again.
Like everything else though, you had a habit of changing his mind.
~~~~
Another morning he was forced to wake up early. Ripped from his dreams by the cold nipping at the skin exposed by shifting in the night. He should have closed the curtains last night. He’d do anything that might even mildly help keep the room warm. He got out of bed, shivered at the feeling of cold against his feet, and fixed the room to better fit his needs.
Crawling back into bed though, he was happy. Because you were there. Gorgeous and peaceful, and as he climbed back in…. the bed was still warm.
“Kei,” you whined, “you can’t leave bed when it’s this cold.” You pulled him farther into your warmth and rubbed his back, under his hoodie to warm him up. “Why are you wearing a hoodie?” you ask, annoyed by the extra fabric keeping you from his skin, but still tucking your head into his hoodie.
“I’ll take it off when you’re done warming me up,” he teased, welcoming the cold with a warm smile.
~~~~
“What’re you doing?” He asked, exhaustion keeping his eyes closed and his voice quiet.
“Playing with your hair,” you whisper as you continue to thread your fingers through the messy blonde tangles, shying away slightly embarrassed that he woke up at your ministrations.
“What’s your weird obsession with my hair,” he asks, nuzzling closer to you so you know that despite his teasing he’d never want things to be different.
“It’s so soft,” you say, brushing his bangs away from his face, and placing a soft kiss to his forehead.
His arm glides up your arm, resting behind your neck, before he pulls you down to kiss your lips, “Okay.”
His body relaxes again, his hand slipping down to your hips, as he enjoys the feeling of your hands, the sweet, familiar movements. Scratching gently at his scalp, carding through tangles, weaving your finger into his hair. It’s so relaxing.
It slips without him realizing, the cold forcing out honesty, “I could stay like this forever.”
He tries to think of something cool to follow up. A way to tease you. But his mind is too flustered in the early morning to have a good aspersion to toss at you.
“I could, too,” you say back.
He’s not sure if it was intentional, or if the early morning was also drawing the words out of you… but he loved hearing it. He sits up, your lazy hand falling from his hair, sliding down his cheek gently before landing on his chest. He smiles at how easy your touch is now. How it’s gone from something he overthought.. something he’d spend hours poring over, something that caused anxiety to well up in him… into the only thing he always trusted to calm him down.
He doesn’t want to move. Especially not when you look… so perfect. But he does anyway. He swings his legs off the bed, wincing at the cold that immediately clings to him, sucking away the warmth he’d stolen from you in the night, a short hiss leaving his lips.
You grab his wrist, “Hey! I thought you said you could stay like this forever. Where’re you going?”
He chuckles at your sleepy whines, “Turning up the heater. It’s freezing.”
You slide your fingers up to his elbow, and pull down. Hard. He crashes back into the bed and you giggle as you pull him toward you, “Then you better cuddle close.”
He couldn’t help it. The words fell before he could think better of them. He was too focused on the way you smelled as he tugged his body into yours. Too focused on the way the worn fabric of his tee shirt felt softer between his fingers when you wore it. Too focused on the way you slid your feet between his, locking your ankles with his. Too focused on your warmth.
“God, I love you.”
He didn’t even notice what he’d said. He didn’t notice until he felt every muscle of your body… every muscle that was pressed against him… tense.
“Kei… did you— it’s okay if it just slipped. I know it’s early… and it’s… it’s easy to get carried away in nice moments. But… did you … did you mean it?” Your voice is broken, and he hates that his mind is racing. Too much. Way too much. He can read you so well. But of course now is when his brain gives in. Too tired to detect anxiety or hope or if it was breaking because sleep was still heavy on you. Was it his heartbeat that was pounding so hard and fast? Was it yours? Why could he feel that thrumming everywhere. Throughout his whole body. Hearing each beat loud in his ears as coursing hot embarrassment raced through his veins.
And despite every bone in his body telling him to do otherwise… he could never lie to you.
He took in a shaky breath, but his words came out certain, “Yeah.” He presses a kiss to the crown of your head to keep himself calm, “ I meant it.”
Did he ruin it? Did he lose y—
“I love you, too.”
The second it took for you to process his words and to smile before responding... that was the longest second of his life.
The rest of that morning is a blur.
He remembers saying those three words a lot, simply because he felt like he could. He remember each and every time you said them back. The way you shaped your lips to turn the cold morning into burning heat, fluttering in his chest. He remembers the way you sent everything in him on edge. He remembers kissing you a lot. More than he’d normally let himself. Your forehead and cheeks and nose and every bit of you his lips could reach without moving because he was, in that moment, truly intent on making that morning last forever.
~~~~
Waking up next to you was always a reward. A blessing. A sign that, no matter what it felt like, he was pretty damn lucky.
But of course the cold was still bitter.
You were already sitting up, stretching your arms above your head, letting out that beautiful, tired sound he’d grown addicted to as his shirt rises to expose a sliver of your skin to the cold. It’s a sound he fully intends to hear every morning until the end of his days. Not that he’d tell you that. He usually feigned sleep while you stretched just so you’d never find out.
You knew. No one smiles like that in their sleep. And his eyelids have a way of fluttering to betray his attempt.
You start shuffling to get out of bed. And he hates the cold that he knows will rush in as soon as you’re out of the bed.
He never wanted to ask you to stay in bed. It was… too pathetic. Too clingy. It was a sign of desperation and he didn’t need you knowing how much he needed you. Not yet anyway.
But… the mornings leave him defenceless, walls down, doors open. Vulnerable. Completely bare to the warmth only you can give, or fully open to the biting cold. He already knows he’ll regret it. Knows that this is not the right move. The cool move. The move that’ll keep you swooning for him. But he can’t help it.
He wraps his body around you again. Tight. Close. “Not yet.”
You break away from him and the cold that sneaks between your body and his is deadly. He wants to pull you again. Tangle his legs with yours, hook his arm tighter around your waist and mold your back into his chest until not even you could tell where you end and he begins. But that’s not what he does. It’d hardly be the suave move. Not the move of the cool, stoic guy you’d been so enchanted by. He’d ask again if it wasn’t so pathetic.
He lets you go. Clinging to the warmth in his hand as it slides down your body and then off your hip as you finally finish sitting up. But the world warms again as you turn over, facing him, and burying your face into his chest. Throwing your arm over his body, your leg over his hip, holding tight to his warmth. “Not yet,” you repeat back to him, voice raspy and high from the sleep stuck in your throat.
You pull the comforter higher over his shoulder so his back is properly covered as you let yourself melt into his warmth.
He could get used to the cold with you.
~~~~
You wake up cold. Freezing actually. You turn around and reach out for the man you adore. The one who was surely hogging the covers in the corner as you froze on the other side of his bed. But he wasn’t there. You sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you try to piece together where he could be. He went to bed with you. He fell asleep before you. Maybe he had to pee? You turn to see the bathroom light off, no sounds coming from the dark room.
You get out of bed, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders as you head out of the bedroom.
“Kei?” you ask the darkness.
You hear his voice. A swear whispered under his breath. You find him under the tree, glowing by the fairy lights with three gifts, wrapped in paper you two hadn’t bought together, that he was trying to arrange.
You look at him questioningly, but he gives you no response aside from wide eyes.
“It’s cold,” you say, reaching your hand out to him.
“Go to bed then,” he says back, quickly shoving the gifts farther under the tree.
“The bed’s cold too,” you say, pouting.
“I’ll be there in a second.”
You creep up behind him, and throw both your arms around his shoulder, blanket draping over both your bodies. You tuck your head into his neck. He’s barely able to make out the whispers mumbled against his skin, “You’re cold too.”
“Then go to bed so you can warm me up,” he teases, rubbing a hand up and down your arm to warm you.
“But I’m cold,” you say with a tired giggle at your own neediness for his warmth.
He sighs, “Okay then.”
He stays with you, you warming his back as he finishes putting the presents behind the tree. If you hadn’t caught him, you probably wouldn’t have seen them in the morning. Probably a surprise that he came pretty damn close to sneaking past you.
When he’s satisfied he hooks his arms beneath your knees and carries you on his back. He takes you to bed and lays you down gently before joining you under the covers.
He traced shapes into your back as he held you close, only thinking of how you came to him, when you were cold.
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jswahaarts · 2 years ago
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dhjdhdhdg I drew this yesterday since it was Life Day but had no time to post it 😭😭😭
fhrjhr anyway Happy belated Life Day y’all!!! Have a Life Day Yap’!!!
Yaupé absolutely ADORES Life Day!! It’s literally his favourite holiday ever (mostly cuz of the food and the day off from training dhdhgdgd) his happiest memories naturally involve his friends and who he considers family; Cara, Talak, the clones, people he loves alot :]] Tho his most happiest is with Cara!!! 💚💚
Bg is from Star Wars Holiday Special (💀)
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mirammon · 3 years ago
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HAPPY (REALLY) BELATED CANDLENIGHTS Y’ALL! A present for dear old @queen-evanlyn , who I weirdly cannot tag?? This present is quite late sadly, cause of the holiday season and semester end madness, but I still wanted to do something fast and sweet! Hope you like a little bit of Stern and Barclay ^^ Thank you to @thecandlenightszone for hosting this again!! It’s such a lovely idea that I’ve participated in two years in a row, skipped a year and now were here again! An extremely lovely experience ^^
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