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Transcript: Have You Seen Me? Episode One: Kitty Scott is Missing

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Without further ado, here is the transcript for Episode One: Kitty Scott is Missing.

SFX: A cassette tape click. OPHELIA takes a deep breath, a second. When she speaks it is with a slight tremble.

OPHELIA

This is going to be difficult to say. When I first started using this recorder, I never thought I would be doing anything serious with it. Not like this, I mean. I always thought our investigations were serious and important, like it mattered that we were proving something’s existence. I mean, ghosts are real, but of course we knew that way before we put it on cassette. We agree that if Bigfoot does exist, and we aren’t saying that they do, they should just be left alone. Three-eyed deer who will draw you into the woods to great fortune or great peril… again, some of us remain unconvinced, but I myself am a believer.

I… The date is April 19th. My best friend, Kitty Scott, has been missing for almost 48 hours. And I have no idea where she is.

To say it’s unlike her would be a gross understatement, but I guess that’s what a lot of people say, right? When people go missing? “It seems so unlike them. I can’t imagine why. You think you know somebody.”

The thing is that I do know Kitty. I know her better than I know anybody in the world, even Isaac, even myself. Her brother James--who can go straight to you-know-where at his earliest possible convenience--he says that she skipped town. And that’s what everybody thinks, but it isn’t true. I’m sure of it. Kitty wanted to leave, but she wouldn’t. She’s still here. Somewhere.

So, who’s on my side? Isaac, for sure. He’s known Kitty for her whole life--well, everyone here has--but she’s basically lived here for the last two years. He not her best friend, but he is her best friend’s uncle and legal guardian, so close enough.

Sheriff Hayle will back me up, I bet. She’s something of a mystery herself, sure, but when it comes down to it she is smart as anything and hates James just about as much as I do. Not great for mayoral-police relations, but I don’t think anybody really cares that much. If I tell her what I know, she’ll believe me. Oh, maybe she’ll even let me work the case with her! Oh my god, Kitty will think it’s hilarious. “Detective Ophelia Joy, Amsterdam PD! Pew pew pew pew pew!” Yeah, I like it.

And then there’s the new kid. He’s already offered to help, which is great news. It’s kind of hard to get a read on him, but he seems honest enough. Pretty sharp. Nice and all.

Maybe I’m not giving him enough credit. We never get new folks in town, so I don’t really have a lot of room for comparison. Everyone I know is someone I’ve known for years. And someone who’s known Kitty for years, which will either be very good or very, very bad. She has a very unique… and… strong personality. That I love, obviously.

But I guess that’s the team. Isaac, Sheriff Hayle, the new kid, and me. Now I guess we do what detectives do; we look over what we know. We investigate what we don’t. We solve the case!

Let’s break it down.

SFX: A click as the tape ends.

After a moment:

KITTY

Bug, I love you, but that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard in my life.

OPHELIA

Just think about it--

KITTY

Ghosts? Why not. Werewolves? Okay, fine. I’ll even take a stab at fairies if they aren’t the Tinkerbell kind. But what you’re spouting is bullshit, babe.

OPHELIA

What is so hard to believe about a three-eyed deer?

KITTY

(Dramatically) The three-eyed deer, eerie in its grace, its centerfold eye radiating gold. Beware its gaze, or it may steal thine soul! “Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell / That summons thee to heaven, or to hell.”

OPHELIA

...Well when you quote Macbeth you make it sound stupid.

KITTY

Shakespeare was right about a good many things.

OPHELIA

But this is real. I’ve been doing research at the library archives, and--

KITTY

You’ve been sneaking into the library archives when Mrs. Fumero isn’t looking.

OPHELIA

I’ve been sneaking into the library archives when Mrs. Fumero isn’t looking. And there have been multiple accounts of these deer. Not like, on the front page, but still. A lot of people say they felt compelled to follow them into the woods, where great danger surely awaited… or greatest fortune.

KITTY

You see? How does that not sound fake?

OPHELIA

Truth is stranger than fiction, dear.

KITTY

(Tsks) Listen to us, sounding like an old married couple. And you know what wives do for their wives? They tell them how the Scottish play ends.

OPHELIA

They tell them how the Scottish play ends?

KITTY

Oh, would you? You’re a doll.

OPHELIA

You can memorize it--not even one of the best lines--but you can’t bother reading all of it?

KITTY

Please don’t question my genius, Bug. And I know you didn’t read it either. You just watched some high school performance on YouTube!

OPHELIA

It was meant to be seen and not read anyway.

(She sighs)

Pretty much everyone dies because MacB isn’t fit to be king. Um, Lady MacB gets obsessive about washing her hands clean of blood and then dies. The witches give ole Mickey a prophecy that no man born of a woman can kill him, so Macduff kills him because his mother had a C-Section, so he wasn’t technically born, so he can kill Macbeth.

KITTY

Wow. That shit’s depressing.

OPHELIA

What do you think “the Tragedy of Macbeth” means? It’s on the front cover!

KITTY

Bold of you to assume I read what I don’t have to. As exciting and invigorating as this is, I better get going. It's, like, ugh, midnight, and that essay’s due first period. It’s not going to write itself! I would know, I’ve bet on that happening before.

That ending’s kind of stupid, anyway. Lady MacB could have killed him. She’s not a man of woman born, right? A little stab there, a little “I am no man!” Lord of the Rings, baby!

OPHELIA

Eowyn could take me out, honestly.

KITTY

Like a date, or with her sword?

OPHELIA

I’m impartial.

KITTY

I feel it. Hey, we’re gonna meet at the Igloo after school, right? You promised a birthday sundae, and if you fail to complete your end of the bargain, well… (Her voice drops) You may meet an unfortunate accident.

OPHELIA

(Laughs) I won’t let you down, boss.

SFX: Kitty leaves and walks down the stairs

Hey, what do I get out of this?

KITTY

(Distantly)You get to hang out with me! Love you, Bug!

SFX: The door slams behind her.

OPHELIA

Love you too.

SFX: A cassette tape clicks.

OPHELIA

I hate the phrase “the last time I saw her.” Let’s call it the most recent time instead. It seems more confident. It was the night before her birthday, the 17th. Well, April 17th, and she turned 18 on the 18th. Oh, this could get confusing. Okay, so let’s call April 18th the day of the incident, which is also her birthday. But, come to think of it, we don’t know whether whatever happened… happened on the day of the incident, the 18th. It could have happened very late on the 17th, when I saw her most recently.

Oh my god, this would be way clearer written down. Curse my dyslexia! Pens are way too slow, and the computer is even slower. Tape, you are the only constant in life. I owe it all to you, buddy.

In any case, we don’t know when the uh… the incident, uh, incited. I used to ask her to text me when she got home, but she always forgot, so I kind of gave up. I haven’t talked to James or Lizzie yet. Which is to say that they’ve tried their best not to talk to me. Sometimes I forget that Lizzie used to be my babysitter. She used to be so cool before she married that d-bag.

It’s like once they got married they started sharing all of his baggage. I’m an only child, so maybe I just don’t get it, but aren’t you supposed to love your siblings? Maybe that’s a lie fed to me by years of TV, but I thought the worst it was supposed to be was a few pranks, maybe a scuffle. I’ve never seen people with as bad of a relationship as Kitty and James. I don’t think he’s ever given a crap about her, and she knows it. It’s a wonder the whole town doesn’t know it, but he’s the golden child. He could probably kill someone and they’d forgive him for it.

(Pauses) He wouldn’t, would he?

Okay, maybe I need to get a little perspective before I accuse the mayor of murder. He probably didn’t do it, but I wouldn’t put it past him, morally speaking. Can you hire a hitman in Ohio? I don’t think so, but it might be worth looking in to.

(She clears her throat)

Back on the case. At first I didn’t realize that anything was wrong. We don’t have any classes together before lunch, but I didn’t see her at our usual table. I asked around, but Cassidy B said that she didn’t see her in geometry or English. I texted her during lunch, but she didn’t respond in time for the next class.

Now, when your friend doesn’t show up to school one day, typically your first thought is that she’s sick. Maybe she’s throw up, or she has a fever. Say it’s her birthday, which it was; Maybe she’s skipped class to play video games all day. It wouldn’t be out of character.

I, on the other hand, had the initial thought that she had been kidnapped. After she left that night, I admit that I watched a few… or a lot of true crime videos online. I can’t stop thinking about the case about this girl from the early 2000’s. She was a child genius, she played a ton of instruments, that kind of thing. Then one night, a man that once did construction on her family’s house broke in through her window and kidnapped her. It took them months to find her, and among the other unspeakable things that happened to her, she had been hidden in plain sight. Her kidnapper would dress her up in a disguise--you know: glasses, a wig, a veil--and called her his wife, and hardly anyone was the wiser.

The whole thing is pretty scary. No, it’s more than that. The idea that it could happen to you, or to anyone, even, it keeps you up at night. The idea that there’s just something right in front of you, and you just can’t see it.

Better keep my eyes open, I guess.

SFX: A click as the tape ends.

SFX: A voice mailbox tone.

SFX: Bird chirping.

KITTY

This is Kitty. Leave a message, or don’t. The choice is yours. Use it wisely.

SFX: A voice mailbox tone.

KITTY

This is Kitty. Leave a message--

SFX: A voice mailbox tone.

KITTY

This is Kitty--

SFX: Bells jingle as Ophelia walks into the Igloo. Birdsong fades.

EMPLOYEE

(Bored to death) Sorry man, cash only.

LIAM

Wait, for real?

EMPLOYEE

That’s what it says on the sign. We don’t even have a card reader.

LIAM

(Stumbling over his words) Okay. Then you can just--keep it, I guess.

OPHELIA

Hey, wait! I can cover it for you.

LIAM

Really?

OPHELIA

Yeah. It’s, what, a tornado with M&M’s? Those things are like, two dollars. It’s not a big deal.

LIAM

I can pay you back, I promise.

OPHELIA

Deal. And can I get two sundaes, the works?

EMPLOYEE

Sure thing, ‘Felia.

LIAM

Felia?

OPHELIA

Oh, it’s a nickname. The whole thing is Ophelia Florence Joy, which is exactly why I go by Fee.

LIAM

Yeah, that checks out. I’m Liam. Summers. Liam Ferdinand, if you want the whole thing.

OPHELIA

I must say, that’s a pretty good one.

LIAM

Thanks, I picked it out myself and everything.

OPHELIA

You’re not from around here, are you? Not to be weird, but I would remember seeing you. We don’t get a ton of fresh faces outside of summer fair season.

LIAM

I was hoping it wouldn’t be so obvious, but yeah, my parents and I just moved here. Yesterday, actually.

OPHELIA

I didn’t see any moving trucks. Um, where are you...

LIAM

Birch street. On the other side of downtown from here, I think.

EMPLOYEE

(In the background) Two sundaes, plus the tornado, that’s seven.

OPHELIA

Here. That’s a really nice area. You might be neighbors with my best friend. Have you met Kitty yet?

LIAM

You’re actually the first person I’ve really talked to here. We just got to town last night, and we had to switch banks when we moved here, right? So I don’t have an account at the new bank and I spent all my cash on road trip snacks. Hence, the credit card fiasco and my debt to you.

OPHELIA

(Sighs) I was kinda hoping you’d met her. She hasn’t been responding to me all day.

LIAM

Is she sundae number two?

OPHELIA

Yep. You know, this could really work out well for both of us. Want a ride home?

SFX: The recorder clicks on.

OPHELIA

Like I said, the new kid is pretty cool. He’s from New York--the city, not just the state--which automatically makes him the coolest person I know. Kitty would kick me for even daring to imply that it isn’t her, but she’s never even left this town, so that’s that. I mean, aunt Jen is from Jersey, but it’s not quite the same.

You technically aren’t supposed to be on the phone while you’re driving, but I figured I would make an exception while I drove the new kid home to call James’ office to see what was what. His assistant, Janet, definitely knows that he has something out for me. She didn’t even bother giving me some dumb excuse, like “he was in a meeting.” She just put me on hold for the whole ten minute drive to Birch Street. Birch… you know, there’s a scathing rhyming joke I could make, but hey, high road.

As I guessed, Liam now lives right next door to the Scott residence. I say right next door as if there isn’t three acres between every house on that road. It isn’t a very neighborly area, but then again, neither is my house, so I have no room to talk.

Macey answered Kitty’s door. She’s about six or seven now, and she’s already really smart. Kitty loves those kids, Macey and Junior. Which is why, when Lizzie came to the door and told me that Kitty hadn’t come home that night, I got out of there pretty quickly. I think kids understand more than we give them credit for.

SFX: Recorder clicks off.

SFX: The sounds of light traffic.

SFX: A door slams, followed by...

SFX: the sound of running as Ophelia approaches the police station.

OPHELIA

Sheriff Hayle! Sheriff Hayle!

SFX: She trips over gravel.

Sh--I’m fine! I’m fine.

HAYLE

Jesus, kid. Almost made me drop my tea. What’s got you screaming?

OPHELIA

I--She, Kitty, she--

ISAAC

Fee, what’s wrong?

OPHELIA

She--Uncle Isaac, what are you doing here?

ISAAC

I got off early. I’m having tea with a friend. Ophelia, what’s going on?

OPHELIA

Kitty didn’t make it home last night. Sheriff Hayle, she was over at my house until maybe midnight, and then she left, and then I didn’t hear from her, and her sundae melted, so I went to her house and Lizzie said she didn’t come back, and I-- You know, not to jump to conclusions but--

HAYLE

Let’s take a deep breath, okay? You’re not just jumping, you’re headed for the trampoline. You sure she’s not just at a friend’s house?

OPHELIA

Sheriff, you know Kitty and I aren’t the kind of people to have two whole friends. We refer to those as “backup buds.”

HAYLE

Have you talked to James?

OPHELIA

I tried. It went about as well as you wouldd expect.

HAYLE

I’ll probably have better luck. You said you saw her last night?

OPHELIA

Yeah. Hey, here's an idea; I’ll head along Mulberry, see if I can spot any clues, maybe talk to some neighbors? I bet Angela Bryant saw her drive by, that woman is always up late--

HAYLE

I don’t think so. Isaac’s gonna drive you home, and you’re gonna stay there. You’ve had enough excitement for today, I think.

OPHELIA

Um, sorry? I’m not going to sit down while Kitty’s god-knows-where! What if she’s hurt, or, or scared?

HAYLE

Young lady, are you doubting my ability to do my job?

OPHELIA

(Quietly) I mean, a little.

HAYLE

Ophelia, I’ve known you for a long time, and I like to think I know you pretty well, you and Kitty both. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’re going to try to take this into your own hands. How many times have I caught you hopping my back fence?

OPHELIA

Only, like, three times. Four, tops.

HAYLE

This isn’t the case of the missing garden rake, you hear me? We don’t know quite what this is yet, but if it’s serious business I can’t get a civilian tangled up in it all. Not only for your sake. I need you to think of Kitty. If you start poking your nose where it doesn’t belong, I don’t know what could happen.

OPHELIA

Sounds like a threat.

HAYLE

Jesus, Joy. You know I didn’t mean it like that!

ISAAC

Come on, both of you. Nothing’s getting done just standing here.

OPHELIA

Fine. But you’ll let me know if you find anything, right?

HAYLE

Sure, kid. Sure.

SFX: Ophelia and Isaac walk across gravel.

SFX: Car doors open and shut.

SFX: Street noises fade.

SFX: The engine starts.

ISAAC

How about we go home? I think there’s some pizza in the fridge.

OPHELIA

Okay.

ISAAC

(The most awkward man alive) Just watch, Ophelia. Things are… They’re gonna be okay.

SFX: Recorder clicks on.

OPHELIA

As you can probably guess, I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night. Maybe three hours, tops. I didn’t hear from Sheriff Hayle that afternoon, but later that night Isaac told me that James had no idea where she was, either. They didn’t find her car, cell phone. Nothing. It’s like she was whisked away. Not in Kansas anymore. Now there’s just… hoping and waiting.

Wow, I couldn’t even convince myself for five seconds, huh? I know the sheriff has good intentions, but she’s got to be the dumbest person alive if she thinks I’m going to sit back like a good little girl while she does all the work. I’ve got a good brain and a car and a tape recorder. I know Amsterdam like I know my own brain, and I know Kitty even better. I’ve got, you know, goodness and the power of love on my side. That’s all it takes, right?

Let’s get ‘er done.

SFX: Recorders click off.

SFX: The light chatterings of a crowd.

HAYLE

I’d like to thank everyone who came out to this preliminary search. As you know, Kitty Scott has been declared missing as of yesterday, presumably since very early that morning. Now, Kitty is no longer a minor, so no Amber alert has been issued, but her safe recovery is still an APD priority.

We will now be breaking into small groups of two or three to comb the area between the Scott residence on Birch Street and Foxhole Road. We’ve passed out maps with individual areas highlighted. Those will be your search areas. The whole thing should be about five square miles. If you find anything suspicious, please let the police department know as soon as possible, and an officer will be dispatched. Sound good?

SFX: Murmurs of agreement from the crowd.

LIAM

Hey, Ophelia! Uh, Fee!

OPHELIA

Liam? Hey.

LIAM

Do you have a search partner yet?

OPHELIA

Well, I was with my uncle, but I think he’s gone off somewhere. You can be with me, if you want.

LIAM

Great, thanks.

SFX: They start walking.

SFX: The sound of the crowd disappears.

I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. About this whole thing. I know you’re best friends and all.

OPHELIA

Yeah, we’re pretty iconic. Dynamic duo, kind of thing. Sundae number two.

LIAM

It really sucks, then. That she would just leave like that.

OPHELIA

So that is what people are saying. That she’s a runaway.

LIAM

I mean, yeah. Just from what I’ve heard, it doesn’t seem like she had a lot of Amsterdam spirit.

OPHELIA

That much is true. She doesn’t.

LIAM

But you don’t think she ran?

OPHELIA

Even better. I know she didn’t.

LIAM

Then what happened to her? Maybe it’s just me, but if it were my best friend, I would rather she have run away than anything else. Better out there and free than here and hurt, you know?

But I’m sure she’s fine!

OPHELIA

I know that Kitty wouldn’t leave voluntarily because I’m still here. She wouldn’t run away. Not without me. Kitty is in Amsterdam, and I’m going to find her. Just watch.

SFX: Outro music.

NARRATOR

This episode of Have You Seen Me? was written by Emma Quinn and directed by Lauren Miles. It starred Emma Quinn as Ophelia Joy, Tobias Paul as Liam Summers, Gina Moravec as Sheriff Hayle, Jared Bruett as Isaac Joy, Lauren Miles as the Igloo Employee, and featured Kashia Ellis-Taylor as Kitty Scott. This episode was recorded at Redhawk Radio with sound production by Mikel Prater.

If you like what we do and want to support us financially, please consider becoming a donor on Patreon for as little as $1 a month. [EDITOR’S NOTE: We have now switched over to a per-episode payment schedule] Go to patreon.com/hysmpod to learn more. If you would like to support us emotionally, consider leaving us a rating and review on iTunes. Follow us @hysmpod on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr, or at Have You Seen Me? Podcast on Facebook. We would love to hear from you.

Thank you for listening, and keep your eyes open.

SFX: Outro music fades.

#hysm pod #hysm #Have you seen me #have you seen me podcast #transcript #podcast transcript #everyone does all their lines so neatly #except for me (emma) lol #the burden of talented friends

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