#HOW THE FUCK DID YORUICHI LOSE?!

[gallusrostromegalus]

all the captains and lieutenants accidentally get slipped some of ukitake's fucked up gigaweed edibles, what happens

First of all, it's not an accident, they straight-up plan a Friday-Night-Of-A-Three-Day-Weekend event of this. Everyone is curious, and Ukitake thinks it will be a funny way to celebrate his Birthday. He is correct: Yamamoto: Veteran of The Dank Arts, gets real high but not unpleasantly so. Would do it again next time he has a long weekend to enjoy it!

Sasakibe: Claims Ludwig Wittgenstein makes PERFECT sense now, attempts to write this philosophical revelation down but is thwarted by the jammed machinations of a clicky pen.

Soi Fon: Gives herself a hernia laughing at one (1) bad pun.

Yoruichi: Used to Urahara's Megaweed Edibles, so approaches the Gigaweed with undue confidence, declares This Edible Ain't Shit five minutes in and eats a second one. She has to be coaxed down from the top of the fridge where she's hiding from The Hatmen by bribing her with a can of Tuna. (Ukitake keeps the $21-a-can Good Shit in the house)

Omaeda: Creates a God-teir marinara Sauce, AND has the good sense to have Nemu pause her Game of Go and come into the kitchen to write down what he did.

Rose: Writes a magnificent new symphony, it's his best work ever, it's life alteringly beautiful, it's effervescent- When he sobers up, it's half a piccolo solo that barely qualifies as a ringtone.

Izuru: In the kitchen crying while eating an inadvisable amount of Omaeda's Spaghetti Marinara.

Retsu: Category Five Mukbang Incident

Isane: Thinks she's filming the Mukbang Incident, actually has her phone open to the calculator app.

Shinji: refuses to touch the Gigaweed because he "Owes The Hatmen Money" and nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's not).

Momo: Literally Everything is HILARIOUS

Hiyori: Did not know it was possible to have a bigger, gayer crush on Momo, but she somehow opened up a new level of lesbianics. She calls it Gay 2.

Byakuya: Couchlocked for 24 hours straight.

Renji: Couchlocked right there with him, but able to text Izuru to bring them Spaghetti.

Komamura: Can't. Canine Weed Toxicity. (Relieved, offers to spend the weekend watching Toshiro and Yachiru so he has an excuse to go winter camping over the weekend)

Iba: Got High as FUCK. Found out later that the thing he actually ate was a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie.

Shunsui: his alcohol tolerance actually makes his weed tolerance terrible so he's on the floor from jokingly licking the wrapper.

Nanao: Challenging people to knife fights (Romantic Intent).

Tousen: Immediately passes out because he managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels, sleeps for 26 hours straight and wakes up feeling genuinely well-rested and in a good mood for the first time in two centuries.

Kensei: Gets his hand bitten at the Category 5 Mukbang Incident because he thought it would be funny to try to snitch off Retsu's plate.

Shuuhei: Attempting to refinance Shinji's debt with The Hatmen. Possibly succeeding?

Mashiro: Said "This Edible Ain't Shit", took a second, and appears to be unaffected. Playing Go with Nemu and winning.

Matsumoto: Makes the Hernia-inducing Pun. Will not STOP making Puns.

Hitsugaya: Being babysat by Komamura, would be madder about this if he wasn't also having a blast doing wintertime camping.

Kenpachi: Attempts to fight his own shadow, loses.

Yachiru: Also on the Wintertime Mountain Expedition, trying to talk Toshiro into joining her and Komamura on an Elk Hunt.

Ikkaku: Has done weed before, but only smoked it, but has a naturally suspicious nature and waits to see how Yoruichi does on her second edible, and avoids running afoul of The Hatmen.

Yumichika: Stays sober to collect blackmail on everyone. Actually films the Mukbang Incident for Isane

Mayuri: This is NOTHING compared to the Quantum Formaldymeth shit he's been on for the last century.

Urahara: from a prominent weed-growing family and lifetime connoisseur of The Herb. Takes one bite and realizes he's in deep shit, lies down on the floor next to Shuuhei and gives him terrible financial advice.

Nemu: Not chemically effected by The Edible but she loves A Group Social Activity so she's a little crunk on Social Recognition Euphoria and it's interfering with her game.

Ukitake, peeling his lieutenant off the floor: Y'all are wimps.

Rukia: has to be peeled off the floor, is affectionately dumped in the laps of Renji and Byakuya, where she forces them to have an emotionally honest and borderline normal conversation.

[sonderonpluto]

could we get nsfw/kink hcs for rangiku and yoruichi with a male! dom! s/o? please and thank you!!!

Hellooo, I wasn’t rlly sure how to write Yoruichi with a dom male reader, but I did do Rangiku, and I’ll probably post another one with her that’s kind of a oneshot & headcanon mixed together. Sorry for not being able to do your full request! I just wanted to go ahead and post what I had rather than taking years trying to figure out what to do for Yoruichi. I’ll probably attempt to write her with a male dom again later on. Thanks for the request!

PAIRING: Rangiku Matsumoto x Male!Dom!Reader

CONTENT WARNINGS: Smut, Vaginal sex, whatever else you want to call it, Degradation, Dub-Con, Edging, Face-fucking, male!dom!reader, sub rangiku, brat rangiku, Kinda possessive reader, Dumbification?, maybe other stuff i’m missing (please tell me if there is in the comments)

A/N: fun fact for some reason i thought you were talking about rengoku from demon slayer & in preparation of beginning to write i finally figured out that I COMPLETELY mixed up there names😭Also, this is my first time righting nsfw/smut so please have mercy on me 🙏🏽🙏🏽anyways enjoyyy

Rangiku is an attractive woman, and she knows that, so of course she’ll use it to her advantage to get something she wants. (Wether that’s you or new clothes from the world of the living.)

She finds that the best way to get you riled up is either by teasing you or making you jealous. Sometimes she likes to do both.

When you’re in captain meetings she finds it fun to mess with the other lieutenants: she’ll push up her boobs by crossing her arms or simply move a little too close to them.

They never entertain her because they know why she’s doing it and getting on your bad side just wasn’t something they wanted to do.

Whenever the meetings end you always quietly grab her and take her to your room.

“Fuck!” she moaned

You hit just the right spots to have her clawing at the sheets and running. You push her head into the pillows and thrust into her cunt from behind.

��You’re such a little attention seeking whore, touching over Abarai right in front of me.”

You fuck her hard and rough, just to get your point across. But she’s so dumb for your cock she probably doesn’t understand a word you’re saying.

When you’re really angry, you don’t let her cum.

As soon as you feel her pussy getting just a little too tight, you pull out. Maybe even cum on her back, to let her know you don’t give a fuck how much she cries and begs.

She likes when you do whatever you want with her, though she’ll never admit it. She foams at the mouth hoping you’ll make her suck your dick.

Use her throat like a flesh light and shove her head on your length. It’ll have her dripping in minutes.

Her favorite thing is for you to give her pussy a couple of spanks. Cmon, she’s been a bad girl and she deserves it. Slap her ass too, and make sure she counts each one until she’s reached a certain number. As soon as she loses track she’s gotta start all over.

[grayintogreen]

This is not the kind of thing I usually meta about here but I’m at work and thinking about it so here we go.

I’m thinking about the only two GENUINELY kind acts that Urahara performs- as in “this act had no actual value to an overall strategy and, in fact, could have been a detriment to what he was already doing”- is because of Hiyori.

Now keep in mind that Urahara is at his core… not a bad person but not a good person either. He’s the sort of person that you don’t trust with YOUR life, but the lives of as many people as possible. He cannot single out an individual life because when that happens, you run the risk of sacrificing more people. Absolutely Rukia’s life was worth the lives of everyone Aizen would kill if he got his hands on the hogyoku. That’s just math. You don’t have to like it but most people understand that’s how he operates even as it makes him seem pretty cold and indifferent. (And he’s not.)

But Hiyori DOES NOT. From the jump, Hiyori is calling him out. At first, it’s because he’s dopey and he doesn’t get angry and he’s clearly a people-pleaser. (Which I’m assuming he was only doing for her benefit because she’s bossy, temperamental, and suffering from abandonment and it was tactically sound to complement her without butting heads.) She DOES NOT like his tactics. Period. She doesn’t like the Maggot’s Nest and is extremely irritated about him being from squad two, which tells me Hiyori has a zero tolerance policy for deceit.

Yoruichi? Urahara’s BEST FRIEND? She knows (and would scream at him if he didn’t) that he would let her die if it would save a hundred people. She gets pissed at him when his inclinations skew selfish and don’t take tactics into consideration. When Hiyori ends up in a dangerous situation that Urahara put her in, she’s the one who tells him to captain up and respect that Hiyori can handle herself- sending someone else into a situation that MULTIPLE people are already involved in is stupid and shows that he doesn’t believe Hiyori can handle herself.

Except HIYORI wouldn’t think like that. Hiyori fears abandonment. Hiyori doesn’t like lives being weighed and measured against the best possible scenario. So Urahara goes after her and it ends up BEING a tactically unsound decision that gets him exiled and loses him the chance to undermine Aizen from the inside. What it does do is save several individuals at the cost of Soul Society losing the only people who could have stopped Aizen quickly. It was not a decision that came to ANYTHING except saving the Visored and Urahara made it work but it took a century.

Now the second time: during the Blood War arc, the only scene we really get with Hiyori and Urahara is the scene where she says, pointedly, that he’s clearly okay with Ichigo and Yoruichi going into a dangerous situation if it suits his plans and she is PISSED. We only see Urahara from the back and he doesn’t react, but when he goes out, at first, he’s with Kyouraku’s group and then, at some point during I believe the Gerard fight (aka the FIGHT URAHARA PROBABLY COULD HAVE REALLY HELPED WITH), he’s fucked off and where does he end up? In the Askin fight where Ichigo and Yoruichi ended up. (I know Ichigo fucked off before Urahara got there but he WAS there.)

Oh huh. So Urahara abandoned the group he was SUPPOSED to be with because either he sensed Yoruichi and Ichigo were in danger or because he felt he needed to get to them. And yes, his fight with Askin turned out tactically in his favor and he was able to prevent repeating his mistakes but THAT GERARD FIGHT NEEDED HIM.

And you could argue with Mayuri out, there was NO ONE else who could fight Askin and win so it worked out fine, but the point is that Urahara did not set out to meet up with Yoruichi. He just DECIDED that in the moment.

Because Hiyori said “these are your friends and people you love and you DO NOT LEAVE THEM BEHIND.” And he didn’t leave her behind and I don’t think she ever really grasped that- or she did and she can’t reconcile it with the persona Urahara projects.

Hiyori is the only person who absolutely will not accept Urahara’s bullshit and will bully him to do better and I VALUE that relationship and Kubo owes me reparations for not giving me more of it.

[alicemitch09writes]

lame

09.

new beginnings are always the hardest part

Despite everything you said – being happy to see your two childhood friends finally acknowledging each other, coming to better terms with their relationship, you didn’t talk to the two for a week though, slightly pissed that they let their damn egos get the best of them.

Really, boys were stupid. So stupid. How stupid? Fucking stupid!

Yet, at the same time, you merely used it as an excuse to really re-evaluate your stance on things.

Honestly, it was nice to have them work through their feelings and finally see each other on equal footing, despite the fact that they had to use their goddamn fists and talk civilly- nope. Childhood friends with serious issues that were slathered by insecurities and bullying could only be mended by fists and screaming. Still, despite having the two finally coming to terms with each other, they still felt so far and out of reach. You had to wonder, where were you in all of that?

Exhaling through your nose, you rested your head against the mop handle, running your forehead through the wood to ground you. “Stupid,” you say to no one in particular. Well, maybe it was more to yourself.

Tiredly making your way through your home, sluggishly pulling the door open, you announced your presence, voice slurring. “I’m home.”

All you wanted to do was bury yourself in bed, take a short nap, or drown in bath- 

Something was off.

Immediately, your senses were on high.

First, you caught a familiar scent – two of them, actually. One smelled like sweat and body wash, the other was of burnt sugar. Then, there were the familiar gentle beats. Rushing towards your living room, you all but slammed the door wide open, yellow eyes opening just as wide.

Green and carmine eyes widened at your presence. Staring. You blink. They blinked. You blink again. Izuku raised a tentative hand, smiling weakly. Bakugou just stared with his hands in his pockets.

…

…

…

“OLD MAN! What are they doing here!?”

At your outburst, your grandfather comes running towards you whacking you in the head, hard.

The boys winced at that.

Your grandfather eyes you sternly. “Don’t be rude to our guests, foolish girl!”

The two guests just eye you – one worried, with his hands out, the other in awed concern, feeling the pain from the whack.

"You didn't answer my question," you growled, the back of your head still hurting. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING HERE!?"

"Simple: they came to visit."

"AND YOU JUST LET THEM!?"

"They were standing outside the house, it's rude to just leave them there."

"THEN YOU SHOULD'VE! THEY'RE NOT FUCKING STRAYS!"

"They're our guests, foolish girl."

"You should've left them out, then asked for my opinion!"

Beside you, the two boys shifted their eyes going back and forth at your heated exchange with your grandfather.

"Why should I? It's my house."

"Don't I get a say?"

"Do you want me to hit you again?" he raised a hand threateningly, causing you (and the two boys) to wince and take a step back, the back of your head still throbbing. "Ha, thought so." You gave him a sneer, he smirked smugly.

“I’m going to cook now, keep them company!” turning his back, he casually waves off at you three, walking to the kitchen. “Have them greet your parents.”

Sighing, taking a few calming breaths, you glared at the two boys, gesturing then with your head. Without a word, they were on their feet and followed after you.

It’s been a while since Bakugou’s ever been to your house. Izuku comes over a lot, has been over the years. He can't help but feel jealous of how close the two of you are, he felt so left out.

There was an altar by the corner of the living room, where he found you kneeling in front of, lips pressed tightly staring hard at the wooden cabinet long and hard. Eventually, you took hold of the doors and opened, expression softening as you saw the smiling photos of your deceased parents.

“Hi Ma, Pa, looked who came over to visit.”

Quickly getting to his knees behind you, Izuku gestured for Bakugou to do the same, hands pressed together in front of his chest. “Auntie, Uncle, it’s been a while!”

“A-Ah, yeah…” Bakugou says, awkwardly, you had to roll your eyes at that.

“These idiots finally got their act together,” you reported, almost smugly. “still, doesn’t change the fact that they’re the worst knuckleheads in this day and age.”

Some would think that it was a little odd to have your guests come and greet the dead, but this was quite the tradition in your home. Most of your family’s close friends were used to it, Izuku included.

Knowing this, Bakugou felt left out than ever.

For he remembered the day after that day, how his parents spoke in hushed tones when he came home after nearly dying by the hands of a sludge villain and saved by Deku – of all people, the solemn look in their faces after a quick inquiry on the bruise on his jaw, tears alarmingly threatening to spill from his mother’s eyes, his father’s careful expression – “(Name)-chan’s parents, they’re dead.”

It was all too surreal.

You missed out on school for a whole week, grieving. Classmates were murmuring amongst themselves at your absence, having heard of your little altercation and the death of your parents on the same day. Also, students fawned over him for the Sludge Incident, for managing to hold back the villain (when in actuality he was barely breathing had Deku not jumped in) which was honestly the last thing on his mind.

Deku, who was surprisingly left alone, would stare at your chair worriedly, thumbs quick to send a quick text in between classes. He had wanted to ask him about you but held himself back. Pride and guilt held him back. Also, it felt like it wasn’t his place anymore, neither was it his right.

During the funeral, he finally saw you dressed in an all-black kimono his heart clenching at the bags under your eyes, the redness surrounding it, your puffy tear-stained cheeks, the dullness in those once bright (e/c) eyes.

When they arrived, immediately both his parents gave you a big hug, you barely hugged them back, much to their concern. Auntie Inko gave you a hug, as well, when she and Deku arrived. As for him? He kept himself back, hidden, knowing how his presence would only make things worse. And yet, he still came because he was worried about you, so, so, so fucking worried.

You were barely there, receptive or alive. Bakugou hated it, it wasn’t you – you were never much of a crier, always wearing your heart on your sleeve and brimming with life. Now though, it looked as though you were half-alive. He couldn’t blame you really, he can’t imagine losing his parents, of having a part of you die.

While your grandfather attended to guests, receiving condolence money and sympathies, he ensured a distance was kept, knowing you needed time to mourn. Judging from the redness in your eyes, the blankness in your gaze, it would probably take a while.

Looking at you now, seeing the color back in your face, your eyes, the lively (if not, careful hostile) aura emanating off you sets him at ease. Well, almost.

He tried not to linger on the fact that he had a part in utterly destroying a part of you the same way he did Deku, but it bled through as the months went by. All he could do was stare at your parent’s faces, silently offering his heartfelt apologies for all those years he wasted.

"GRANDDAUGHTER! WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, BRING THEM TO THE DOJO!" A yell came from the kitchen, disrupting the peace.

His eyes fell to your form, shoulders slacking. He may not see your face, but he could tell there was a sour expression written all over your face.

Then you sighed, twisting in place to look at the two.

"How about it, boys? Wanna let off some steam?"

The dojo was adjoined to your house - a small traditional dojo that's about ages old, you're not sure but you know but it's been there forever - or so you're told.

A wide space greeted you, polished wooden floors and tatami mats on the ground, calligraphy of 'fortitude', and your family name done by your grandmother hung from the walls along with some ornaments and nondescript paintings that were as old as you (maybe) – everything was in place.

With your grandfather as the head of the family, duly seeing that he lived the family legacy and upheld tradition, he saw fit that the dojo was well-taken care for, that his students weren’t weaklings – family or not, and that the Yoruichi family lived up to its potential and filled with honor (this part, he drilled hard on you when you were younger). In addition, he was the current coach of your school's martial arts club and you were his star pupil, which spelled big favouritism, but nobody complained after sweeping the floor with them on the first day.

Growing up, this place was your safe haven, you could always find peace here, it also held so many good memories that smelled pleasantly of bamboo, faintly of wood, and the faint sounds of a wind chime resounding.

Unable to help yourself, you threw yourself to the ground sideways – an act catching the boys by surprise, Izuku to shrieked, and Bakugou to start - hands planted firmly on the ground, cartwheeling away before doing it again except doing it forward, then sideways, and then your body twisted in mid-air, before landing gracefully on your feet arms raised on both sides.

"(Nickname)!" Izuku called after you, causing you to giggle, especially because your hair was a complete mess now.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself." Patting your hands to the sides, the feel of your skirt made you realize why both boys seemed red in the face. Thankfully, you wore shorts underneath.

With Shinsou busy and final exams in the way, your sparring sessions had been put to a hold. You missed sparring, training – even if it were against Aizawa-san or your grandfather, you loved the thrill of fighting. It was in your blood, after all.

“Really, you shouldn’t be so reckless!” berates your green-haired friend, marching towards you, the blond following close behind.

Looking around, the blond teen took in his surroundings - the aged wooden beams overhead, the cubbies, your grandmother's calligraphy set neatly set in one of the fine cabinets, until his eyes stopped on some pictures. It was the three of you, during your younger days when your grandfather wanted to train all three of you.

Unaware of the way his eyes softened at the picture, he continually looked over and relived the memories – he could almost hear Deku’s crying as he tried to punch hard, him hollering in mad glee, and then you lording over the two because the dojo was ‘your turf’. Carmine eyes traced the smile on your 8-year old face, pulling away to find that you were wearing the same smile. Except, unlike the photo – where the smile was directed at him, Deku was crying in it – your smile was directed towards your green-haired friend who marvelled at the trophies you and some fellow students of the dojo won.

Jealousy was an ugly emotion, but it was always there. He hated it.

As a child, since discovering his quirk, he’d been showered by praise and was the center of everyone’s attention. But for him, the only praise and attention he wanted was from you. However, because he was a shitty kid with an overgrown pride, you barely batted his way and spared him even an ounce of acknowledgment. Honestly, he’s been starved for your attention for so long now.

Only when you had shoved his kindness away in middle school did he realize how badly he’d hurt you, how little of an effort he did to truly reach out to you. He had a handful of ‘friends’, but not really, and you had Izuku – a friendship built on trust and love, he wanted that. But he was too selfish and prideful to do shit about it.

Before he knew it, Bakugou acted on his feelings.

“(Name),” you looked up, (e/c) eyes blinking in question. “let’s spar.”

“Ka-Kacchan-?”

“Sure.” You said with a shrug.

Green eyes blinked at you, then at the blond-haired teen, darting back and forth at the two of you. Were you really doing this now?

“W-Wait a minute! Are we really doing this now?” Izuku tried to reason, seeing at the two of you began to circle each other, him in the middle. “We should just talk, recall the good times! L-Like…Like…um…” the tension between you two, it was unpalpable, raw, and intense. “(N-Nickname)! Remember the first time you showed us a kick split and Kacchan tried to mimic?”

As funny as that memory was, his two friends were too busy circling each other, resembling animals in the wild. Their expressions were blank, but their eyes spoke too much.

(E/c) met carmine. Both unwavering, unyielding, and both hungry.

“(Nickname)? Kacchan? Are you listening to me?”

Readying into a stance, you closed your eyes as you took a deep inhale, opening them when exhaling slowly out your mouth. Bakugou’s fingers were tingling, smoke emitting.

“(Nickname), Kacchan, please there’s no need to-!”

Without a moment of hesitation, Bakugou was lunging forward, the explosion – which was half-powered, Izuku noticed – leaving a cloud of smoke behind that momentarily filled the area.

You didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by the smoke, one arm quickly raised to guard against his fist, and the other readily grabbing hold of his knee that followed soon after. With all your might, you pushed him off. (In a fit of panic, Izuku cleared the smoke clouds away with a fling of his fingers at 2% power.)

Bakugou threw his fists, to which you easily deflected or swatted aside, keeping the blows away from you. Tossing his hand away, you planted your hands on the ground and swung your legs to hit him low, Bakugou quickly moved out of the way, rather clumsily. For a moment, he swore he saw you smirk, swinging your legs around with ease to swing at him again.

He had realized then that he had no idea how you fought; he was going into this blind. You both (three, counting Deku) may have trained together under the same dojo when you were younger, but that had been years ago! Plus, being a Yoruichi meant that you were proficient in other forms of martial arts. But again, emotions got the best of him. For some reason, despite being caught at a disadvantage, he found himself gleaming.

You were fast – much faster than he had anticipated, and extremely agile. He took note of the fact that your eyes were its usual (e/c) color, despite the fact that it was dark out. All the punches and hits received were all raw strength, honed from years of training under your grandfather. He always knew you were a capable fighter, despite having not used your quirk just yet. Fuck, were you mocking him?!

Seeing the frustration in his eyes, you smirked, grabbing hold of his incoming fist, catching him off guard, to toss him aside. So answer: yes, you were mocking him.

He had no idea how much you had studied his fighting style over the years, becoming familiar with his straightforward tactic – it was so predictable. And after seeing the Sports Festival and the fight with Izuku from yesterday, you easily caught up on how adaptable he was given the situation and had quick reflexes. It made you sick.

Yet at the same time, despite knowing this, both of you seemed rather in tune fighting each other.

Izuku, who had long given up trying to be the peacekeeper, could only watch in awe at the two. The mood between you two was…something, to say the least. And watching you two fight? It felt as though it were a dialogue if that even made sense – a mad disarray of Kacchan lashing out on you, you easily avoiding all his punches and explosion, you were able to catch Kacchan off-guard a lot whenever you changed fighting styles to which he’d manage to counter in his own reckless way. It was a nail biter to watch, yet it was fascinating at the same time. The two of you were in perfect synchronization with each other.

A cloud of smoke filled the air, your eyes narrowed to see through just as a palm cut through, nearly punching your cheek clean. Ducking a swipe of Bakugou's smoking fists, you took hold of his wrists and twisted them inward, Bakugou barely had time to react and the explosions went off his skin.

Angered, he used your closeness in an attempt to headbutt you, but you easily evaded, losing balance in the process. Seeing this, he grabbed hold of your hand, tugging hard to twirl against him, back to his chest. Instantly, he caught hold of your other hand. The position looked as though you were dancing, it was rather intimate.

"What's the matter? Not gonna use your quirk on me?" he taunted in your ear, making you shiver.

"As a matter of fact," throwing your head forward and back, smacking your hair to his face, he releases you - just barely - but it was enough to free you, sweeping him off his feet to pin him to the ground – an elbow to his back and one arm stretched out painfully behind him. "I don't need my quirk to beat you. I'm plenty strong on my own." Releasing your hold, you tilt your head to the side, unable to help the smug look on your face, faint lines of yellow lining your eyes. "Not bad for one 'seemingly quirkless', huh?"

Quirkless. Something in him roiled, especially with the way you said it.

Pushing himself off, making you lose balance, he grabbed hold of your collar and nearly slammed you to the ground, switching positions. “What the fuck is your problem?”

(E/c) eyes gave him a cold hard stare, the corner of your lip slightly twitching. It made his tenuous temper flare.

Tightening his hold, he asked again. “What is your fucking problem?!”

“My fucking problem is you!”

Okay, that threw him off.

Bakugou pulls back, blinking at your response, completely dumbfounded “I thought you were ‘working on being a better friend’? Was that all for show?” His voice was soft, hoarse. It hurt that after all this time, he was still a stranger to you. Yet at the same time, he's rather confused with how lightly you've been handling this.

Unable to look at him any longer, you look away. Those carmine eyes were full of hurt; you didn't like it.

"Let go of me," you tell him, his hand had slackened, allowing you to push him off. And he lets you, feeling defeated as he watches you pick yourself up.

His eyes turn to Deku for help, assurance, assistance, never would he have thought that he'd come to Deku - of all people - for such. Deku just stared, weakly at you, then at him – at a loss.

Before you could walk away, Bakugou grabbed your arm, his grip hard. "No, you're not walking away that easy, (Name)."

Your name sounds so foreign when he says it, you gulp, refusing to look his way. "What the fuck do you want from me?"

He glowers, tugging you back to face him, staring you down. "What I want is for you to stop being so fucking difficult and talk to me!"

You couldn't help scoffing, harshly tugging your arm free. "You? Talk? Wow."

Bakugou had always known you were a petty person, but to be this difficult at the same time? It was really grating his nerves.

"(Nickname)..." Izuku berates in the background, which was silenced by Bakugou.

"CAN YOU FOR ONCE JUST LISTEN TO ME!?"

"K-Kacchan..."

"WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS THEN?"

“I’M FUCKING TRYING TO BE CIVIL, BUT YOU’RE BEING SO FUCKING DIFFICULT!”

“YOU? CIVIL? IF THAT ISN’T THE JOKE OF THE CENTURY!”

(Somewhere in the kitchen, Shihan casually cooks dinner, knowingly oblivious to the explosion, yelling, screaming, going on in his beloved dojo. Casually checks the spice intake on one of his dishes, adding a bit more.)

Bakugou opens his mouth, about to berate on one of your bullshit of an excuse to give him the time to speak only to stop. He realized how much you’d instigate and rile him up, and how much he’d fall for it. This was never-ending, the ceaseless anger between you two, it had to stop. “Why won’t you give me the chance, (Name)?” his voice was brittle, so brittle and soft, from yelling and of hurt.

Vulnerability was something you never expected of him, but you were too proud to even recognize it from him of all people. “Your life is fucking perfect, why the hell do you want to make a mess outta mine!?”

“Perfec- “he nearly spat out the word, hating it. “you think my life is perfect?”

Rolling your eyes, hard, Bakugou swore it was enough to see the insides of your head. “Come on, do I need to list it down? You and your perfect family, your perfect little cozy home, your perfect academic performance, your perfect quirk,” that part just had to be overly emphasized, dramatized, much to his disgust “life just hands you everything perfectly in a neat little bow-“

“My life is anything but perfect! I'm anything but fucking perfect! My life’s not fucking perfect because I don’t have you in it, (Name)!” he angrily yells.

That made you stop. Izuku, too.

And after a few seconds of saying it, as did Bakugou. "Fuck," he muttered, ducking his head, to hide his reddening face, he was reeling at his confession – pent up after being so long overdue.

“…what…?”

Izuku’s hands slapped over his mouth, a small noise coming threatening to come out as he watched the two of you in keen interest. “…K-Kacchan…(N-Nickname)…”

(Now would probably be the worst time to gush, squeal, or scream over this, as though he were watching a rom-com movie, but he couldn’t help it! Izuku had always been the biggest supporter of you two, wanting you both to end up together since you were children.)

After all this time, he liked you, too?

When he looked up, he was surprised to see how red you were – you were, like him, blushing hard. Like that one time you visited to give your ochugen gifts.

Wait.

“Wait.”

“I’m outta here!”

The door slammed shut behind you.

Dinner was an awkward occasion, an extremely awkward one especially because your grandfather had Bakugou sit right next to you. 

Your grandfather, painfully knowing that he is, acted oblivious to the tension and casually chatted up the boys - Izuku mostly doing the talking, whilst Bakugou mumbled here and there, you kept your head low avoiding the gaze of anyone in the table.

Just after dinner, you made a beeline for your room, uncaring for your grandfather's wrath - you could deal with that later, you just wanted a moment to yourself after Bakugou's confession.

“My life is anything but perfect! I'm anything but fucking perfect! My life’s not fucking perfect because I don’t have you in it, (Name)!”

Fuck.

His words rang in your ear, all the blood rushing the instant his voice rang in your head.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck," you wailed into your pillow.

With special permission from Aizawa-san, and Izuku's insistency, you found yourself at the prestigious UA once again in time for its culture festival.

To say the place was huge would be an understatement, and that’s saying because you’ve been here a lot whenever Izuku was injured, more than just three USJs, it felt like its own continent! This time though, it was colorful and vibrant than usual.

The school went all out, I see. You thought to yourself, after all the bad shit that happened to them.

You still held Izuku with careful regard, it was always easy to forgive him, but appreciated the gesture that he extended his invitation to you. He wanted you to be there, to experience the joy of a high school culture festival even if you two weren’t school mates anymore. (Also, it was his way of saying sorry.) All things considered; things immediately went back to normal between you two.

(Save for one)

Meeting up with your best friend at the front gate, you were surprised to find him covered in dirt and grass. But before you could even ask, he hurriedly brought you backstage to meet up with his classmates before the show started.

“Everyone this is my childhood friend, Yoruichi (Name)!”

Giggling at his stutter, you shouldered him playfully before bowing at his classmates. “Hi everyone! It’s nice to meet the lot of you!”

A series of ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ came afterwards, soon after, the two of you were bombarded with questions. Tiredly, you turn to your best friend, sharing a look. Man, I miss the days when we were invincible.

“Ah, it was that girl who yelled at him at the hospital!” a tall plain-looking guy pointed at you, to which Iida yelled that it was rude to point. You could only offer an apologetic smile, nudging at your best friend’s shoulder again.

“Eh? I didn’t know Midoriya had another childhood friend!” some guy with flaming red hair and shark teeth said, kindly and in shock.

“More than that, Midoriya’s been keeping this beauty from us!” a small purple-haired boy screeched, angrily turning to your best friend. On instinct, you stepped in front of your friend protectively.

“Wow, I’m offended you don’t talk much about me, Izuku.” You teased, elbowing the green-haired teen. He laughed, scratching his cheek.

“This is so radical, a female childhood friend. Must be nice~” a boy, with a streak of black over his hair that could only remind you of Pikachu, gushed. “But wait, haven’t I seen you at that one café- “

“Dunce face, shut your mouth.” Bakugou suddenly appeared in your line of sight, you immediately turned away before he met your gaze, fighting the blush creeping its way to your cheeks.

“Ne, ne, ne,” a pink-skinned and pink-haired girl gushed, nearly shoving her face into yours. “So, like, is Midoriya your boyfriend?”

In unison, you two stared at each other before bursting into laughter, used to the question for so many years.

“No way,” Izuku says, trying to calm down. “(Nickname)’s like a sister to me!”

“I second that! Izuku’s such a whiny big brother with a big brain.”

“(Nickname), you didn’t have to put it like that…”

Grinning toothily, you playfully ruffled his curly locks, discreetly eyeing a brunette who seemed to sigh in relief.

“Wait a minute, since Yoruichi’s your childhood friend, does that mean that Bakugou’s your childhood friend, too?” a short-haired punk-looking girl asked, a few heads turning to the blond. Said blond stilled, expression a careful blank.

“Yeah, he is.” The reply came easy, nonchalantly. Playfully. “Is. Was. Somewhere in between.” You wiggled your hand in the air for emphasis.

It was a cold response, almost as cold as Todoroki’s ice.

“But that’s enough about me, I heard you guys were putting on a live performance?” the mood easily shifted, two kinds of excitement stirring from the class. “And Izuku, you’re dancing? Since when!?”

“Sadly, we kicked him out.” The pink-haired girl says, arms crossed.

“Deku-kun worked his best!” Ochako defended, cheeks puffing.

“That’s right! That’s right!”

“Ah, Midoriya-chan looks mad?”

“More than that, he’s blushing too.”

Several eyes turned to the green-haired teen, cheeks puffed and an angry flush dusting his cheeks, glaring your way.

“I-I mean, dancing sounds fun. Plus, I’ll have you know that we’ve danced together before, (Nickname)!”

(e/c) eyes narrowed playfully, finger poking at freckled cheeks. “Dance Revolution, Just Dance, and Dance Master don’t count, dumdum. Plus, you suck at those!”

“She’s so brutal!”

“Almost like a female Bakugou.”

“Uwa, it’s kinda rare to see Midoriya like this. He seems more comfortable and less grounded.”

“I see what you’re saying! And he usually shies away from girls!”

“Yoruichi’s got spunk, doesn’t she?”

“Oi, we got to prepare! Come on, now!”

Realizing this, you stepped away from Izuku, wishing him luck. He had told you that he wanted you to meet someone after the show, you could only nod at that.

Meeting carmine eyes, you faltered, body shifting to move, but stopped. Braving a look his way – much to his shock, you offered a small smile. “Break a leg.”

Their show was amazing, spectacular, a showstopper, and you made sure to relay your praises to the class afterwards.

Shortly after the show (and sharing your thoughts about their presentation), you were introduced to Eri, the sweet little girl Izuku told you about during his work-study. The moment you saw her, she immediately won your heart. Oh, and you were introduced to Mirio, a goofy senior who was super friendly and an amazing presence to behold.

Without even knowing, you somehow wounded up with the rest of 1-A joining whatever sorts of fun the cultural festival has to offer. Most of the time, you stuck close with Eri, who'd grown fond of you after your first meeting, sometimes, sticking with the girls (even though your nose would crinkle at girlish topics), or even hung with Bakugou's ragtag of friends (of which, you were surprised to find that he had a clique of his own!).

It was a rather eventful day, and your legs were all tired out from constantly moving around. Still, it was a fun day. Sitting against a railing, you watched as Izuku ran off towards the gate, a paper bag in hand. Smiling at his retreating frame, you leaned back and watched around, eyeing the festivities - or what's left of it, feeling suddenly lonely about it all. This was where Izuku and Bakugou went to school, this was their cultural festival, and you were just an outsider.

“Here,” you blinked as a churro appeared out of nowhere, offered to you. Retracting your hands from your sides, you carefully took the treat in your hands and looked up, meeting carmine - Bakugou.

“Thanks,” you reply, dumbly.

Sitting next to you, Bakugou was strangely quiet, hands buried in his pocket. “What did you think of our performance?” he asked, rather quietly.

“Pretty kickass,” you say honestly, still staring at your treat. "I forgot how well you could play the drums."

The corners of his mouth twitched, but his expression remained a careful, almost wistful blank. His eyes though, they were another story. “I’m glad you came, (Name).”

Scoffing, a smile found its way to your lips, you bump his shoulder with yours. Surprised, he looks up, eyes finding yours, (e/c) warm. “Yeah, me too.”

Something inside him stirs, strangely, comfortingly. He could feel his throat drying just looking at you, just as you bit on your churro - a big crunch, followed by sugar falling off.

“You should consider transferring.”

“Pass, I’ll just take the supplementary lessons Aizawa-san offers.”

"Like they'll do you good."

"Hm,” you swallow, using the back of your hand to wipe the cinnamon sugar off your mouth. “lest you forget I have my shitty old man, and he teaches me plenty."

He mulls at your words as you chew on your churro, enjoying the youthful vibe of the cultural festival. Truth be told, being here actually made you jealous. You never enjoyed the cultural festival at your middle school because everyone did such a mediocre job and could care less about having fun. But this? This was nice. Relaxing, fun even.

"What happened to you?"

Stopping midchew, you let the words sink in - word by word, before finishing the last piece of your churro. Mulling over his question, you leaned your head back to watch the cotton candy-colored skies. "I gave up." You said simply, decidedly, honestly. "You seem to disregard people who care about you."

He swallowed thickly at your words. There were a million things he wanted to say while you were right there, no animosity between the both of you for once, however, he found himself choked up. All the words, questions, they held up in his throat. It felt pretty fucking lame of him.

However, if anything, there was one thing he's been meaning to say to you for a very long time. "(Name)," he starts, he liked the way your name comes out of his mouth, always liked how it's comparably lighter to say compared to a million words that made up language.  "I'm sorry."

Startled, you turned to him, really stare at him. Two words, yet they carried so much weight. So much history addressed. So many years of fighting, crying, yelling, and stubbornness. All it took were just two words.

Surrendering, you leaned against his form - feeling his body flinch at the contact, but doesn't move away, eyes falling shut. "I'm sorry, too."

That made him scoff, offended at your apology. "Shut up," As far as history has shown, you have nothing to apologize for.

"No, really listen." you continue, eyes dropping to your fingers. "I'm much to blame for our history. I've been so incredibly petty, cynical even whenever it came to you. Izuku was always so forgiving and he'd try to pass it on to me, but I just tossed it aside, never realizing that in the process I was hurting both of my dearest friends. By neglecting Izuku's wishes, I was neglecting you in the process. I was so selfish."

"I've been selfish, too."

"I know."

"And prideful."

"Oh, I know."

The makings of a smile creep its way to his lips. "And shitty."

You snort. "Oh, believe me, I know." Unknowingly, you laughed easily.

Bakugou watches as you laugh - eyes crinkling, cheeks brightened (with a few specks of cinnamon sugar sticking), your teeth were exposing, a light-hearted laugh escaping your mouth, you looked so pretty like that. He rather liked hearing your laugh.

Finding his elbow, you wrapped your arm around his, leaning ever so closer. Bakugou might've jumped at that, but you couldn't tell, too contented at that moment. "I missed you, fucker."

At your admission, he felt his chest stilling, calming. Before realizing it, the expression on his face lightened, softened, carmine eyes taking in your form against it – had you seen it, it would have done you over.

It was the softest expression he could ever muster.

"I missed you, too-"

"Oi, Bakugou!"

"There you are! We've been looking all over for-"

Kaminari and Kirishima both stopped at the sight of two teens, relishing in each other's presence - quite comfortably, too - which was ruined by their arrival.

Curious, you peeked a look at the two teens.

And then there was Bakugou, who was absolutely furious.

masterlist • ten

[kuinliekkienroihu]

I (crysuzumushi, haha) am working on answering your ask game prompts, you picked two of my very favorites, thank you! I'm gonna ask you to do Kaname too! And Byakuya.

Okay, thanks for the ask!! Sorry it took so long to answer, i wrote a novel. Also sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language

Kaname:

1. Favorite thing about them

How he always seeks to act according to his sense of justice. Also he's one of the best written characters in the entire series. He's very complex, which makes him feel kinda like an actual person with understandable actions caused by his past. There are a lot more things, but i'm not good at putting things to words so yeah.

2. Least favorite thing about them

How underutilized he was as a character. I'm really glad there's more of him in cfyow, even though i've only read the first part

3. Favorite line

" I follow the path least soaked in blood. The path I walk is justice."

4. BrOTP

I have many, mostly Shuhei, Aizen, Gin and Sajin

5. OTP

-

6. NOTP

hmm, i don't like him and Aizen romantically at all, same goes for Sajin

7. Random headcanon

He has a plant garden in Las Noches in which he grows, among many other things, the ingredients for Aizen's tea, which is Kaname's secret special mix of herbs. Aizen really misses the tea Kaname made for him.

8. Unpopular opinion

He did nothing wrong, or rather, all he did was (more or less) justified

9. Song i associate with them

-

10. Favorite picture of them

This is my favorite too

Byakuya:

1. Favorite thing about them

Yes. I love every single thing about him. Even the things others would consider as flaws are perfect. I really like how calm and collected he is regardless of the situation, he's intelligent and calculating.

A very well written character with, in my opinion, the best character development. Especially his relationship with Rukia from ignoring her out of pain (since she looks almost identical to Hisana), protecting her to keep a promise, letting her be executed to keep another promise to genuinely caring about her and saving her life in many occasions, clearly regretting what he did to her and trying to compensate for his actions.

Kubo wrote his development extremely well, in the end of the series he's objectively a better person than in the beginning, but his personality didn't change much. He's still the same overly serious, stuck up asshole we know and I love him for it.

Another thing I love the most about him is the fact that he's another walking contradiction. But somehow, these contradictions make a paradox or a perfect harmony without cancelling each other. Kubo did an amazing job making him have many layers in his character. There's this line from a book (had to look it up, the book is called "the chrysanthemum and the sword") that the author used to describe Japanese people, I think I read that in someone's ig story and it got stuck in my head since it reminded me of Byakuya so much, and in my honest opinion, describes him rather thoroughly, especially second, third and fourth ones. His zanpakuto, which is one of the infinite reasons I love him, being fully portrayed by the second one "both militaristic and aesthetic" being combined into the beautiful but deadly weapon Senbonzakura is.

"both aggressive and unaggressive, both militaristic and aesthetic, both insolent and polite, rigid and adaptable, submissive and resentful of being pushed around, loyal and treacherous, brave and timid, conservative and hospitable to new ways"

When you think about it, he has the most fitting zanpakuto for his personality compared to the other shinigami and the way he uses it is one of the tiny details which make him, him.

His spot as a captain and the head of the Kuchiki clan is in my opinion fully earned (rest of the nobles (except Yoruichi) can go fuck themselves) (sorry Tara, ignore this please lol). He is hardworking and precise, almost workaholic, has trained hard from a very young age and puts duty above everything. But he still has a hidden "work mode: off" -side which we see occasionally as cracking a dry joke or the wakame taishi fuckery in general. Latter being, in my honest thoughts, hilarious and adorable.

There is a lot more but i literally can't list everything. This is already a hell of an essay.

2. Least favorite thing about them.

My answer is probably as you can expect: none.

There is one thing i don't really like, but it's about the writing.

!!TYBW SPOILERS!!

In the beginning of the arc i think that immediately releasing bankai, especially when he knew it was gonna be sealed, was out of character and i would have been very upset if he stayed dead, since the action which resulted in that was not something he would do.

3. Favorite line

“If it’s for the sake of my pride there’s nothing I won’t destroy.”

I know it’s from a filler but this line just sums his whole character, personality and motivations up so well.

4. BrOTP

I have so many, i want him to have friends lol. But to point out the most significant ones i'd say Rukia, Renji, Kenpachi, Toshiro and Ichigo

5. OTP

The only one i really ship him with is Nanao. Hisana is kind of “it’s canon and i’m fine with it.” I haven’t seen enough of her to form an opinion about the ship, but it’s obvious how much Bya loved her and it’s so sweet.

6. NOTP

Okay, i have never mentioned this before since i know many of my followers/mutuals ship them. Renji. The only ship I. Can't. Stand.

Like, platonically? Yes, they're bros. But romantically or especially sexually? No. Fuck no.

I don't care if you ship them, good for you, but please tag the stuff so it gets filtered.

7. Random headcanon

He sleeptalks a lot. And it's not mumbling, he talks the same way as when he's awake but it's absolute nonsense.

Byakuya, asleep: Do not eat the drawer.

Hisana, awake: *watches him in utter confusion*

Byakuya, still asleep: Give him a pink tricycle.

Hisana: To whom?

Byakuya: Head captain Yamamoto

Hisana: *trying not to laugh*

Another hc that i have is that he is a closet metalhead and likes especially power- and symphonic metal (this might sound very weird if you know nothing about this kind of music lol)

8. Unpopular opinion

His actions in the soul society arc were understandable. He was put between the bark and the tree (i hope you get what i mean) and had to choose from just letting things happen and going against central 46 and all of soul society (or at least that’s what he thought). Also the line he said to Ukitake, which is still easily in top5 most asshole things he has said/done, in my opinion shows what he thought of Rukia’s execution and why he didn’t do anything to prevent it. “Once you’ve let one of your people die.. ...two or three more make no difference.” Both of his parents are dead, Hisana is dead, Ginrei is most likely dead and he thought for 100 years that Yoruichi was dead too. I think Byakuya thought losing one more person he cares about couldn’t hurt more than it already has and therefore didn’t think it was worth breaking the promise he made in his parents’ grave and trying to save her. And that fucking breaks my heart.

9. Song I associate with them

I have a 6h long playlist which I’m not gonna post. Can’t choose just one lol.

10. Favorite picture of them

*digs through nearly infinite pinterest board, tumblr and phone’s gallery*

This is (one of) my favorite manga panel(s) of him. I love how calm but powerful he looks. The lines representing the heavy spiritual pressure. Like an inescapable doom approaching (which indeed was the case). And for some reason i love it. 

My favorite fanart, which i obviously can’t post since you can’t post others art so here’s the link: https://www.deviantart.com/keelerleah/art/Bleach-Byakuya-Looking-Back-127254804

and then one which I think is official art or at least an edit of it, if I’m wrong please lmk

[rayshippouuchiha]

Ok but like for your Ready Made Family AU, I had this thought that Ichigo eventually gets around to trusting her boys enough to trust them with keeping Yuzu and Karin safe and then immediately what pops up into my head is the two of them calling the guys nii-san which just utterly blows everyone's minds. Like I'm Uraichi trash so just think about 12th division people just staring in shock at Urahara freaking Kisuke (you know ex-assassin and all) being called Kisuke-nii.

Kisuke has always been good at tests.

His inborn and ever hungry sense of curiosity has always been a blessing in that area as it’s been a curse in others.

Logic puzzles, equations, battle simulations, they have always come relatively easy to him.  Tests of control, of strength, of loyalty, have always been taken in stride as well.

He excels in his strengths, compensates and plans around his weaknesses, bends and twists rules when and where necessary.

It’s rare for a test to take him truly off guard for longer than a split second before his mind begins to work and plan and weave.

Which is why he’s at bit at a loss as to what to do at the moment.

Because, Kisuke can’t help but muse as he stares down into two upturned and chubby cheeked faces, this is most certainly a test of some sort.

Kurosaki-chan, Ichigo some covetous part of Kisuke’s mind can’t help but whisper, has left her precious sisters in his care for the afternoon.

Kisuke is one part delighted and one part absolutely terrified.

Because this, the trust, the connection, the two smiling faces staring up at him, is a glimpse of everything he’s wanted since the moment he’d first seen his beloved.

So he absolutely cannot afford to fuck this up.

If he does, Kisuke is sure that Ichigo will cut him directly out of her life and no amount of pleading or stubbornness will change her mind.

And Kisuke most certainly will not be allowing that to happen.

The only problem is that, despite his persistence and his hovering, this is also one of the first times he’s been allowed to be completely alone with the twins.  Alone without Ichigo at least within shouting distance.

And Kisuke has no idea what he’s supposed to do.

A hand coming up to tap his finger against the swell of his bottom lip, Kisuke contemplates his options.

He wants the girls to like him more than they already do and wants Ichigo to be pleased with him.  Wants to, hopefully one day soon, be a real part of their family.

So, with that in mind, perhaps his best choice is the simplest.

Something educational but entertaining.  Ichigo will be pleased that he taught them something useful and the girls will, hopefully, have fun.

“Tell me, Yuzu-chan, Karin-chan,” Kisuke blinks as he stares down at the two of them, “how do you feel about arson?”

Yuzu and Karin share a look and then they both turn back towards him and beam.

~~~

The looks Kisuke receives when he arrives at the 12th Division with two small children in tow range from blank shock to horror but he doesn’t focus on any of them.

Instead he ushers Karin and Yuzu into his lab to gather a few supplies before they head out.

Hiyori-fukutaichou bursts into the lab right as Kisuke’s ready to head out with the girls, chest heaving, face flushed and sandal in hand.

“No time to talk, things to do, fires to set,” Kisuke tell her cheerfully before he reaches down to scoop both girls up under a arm and, with them dangling by his sides, exits out the window with a quick burst of shunpo.

Behind him Kisuke hears her scream after him but he ignores it.

He only has the afternoon with them before Ichigo’s business will be concluded and Kisuke intends to make the most of it.  He doesn’t have time to deal with whatever is bothering his fukutaichou at the moment.

~~~

A few hours later, Kisuke makes it back to Seireitei.  He’s covered in soot and dangling from each of his hands is an equally soot covered but still giggling twin.

Kisuke’s pretty sure that means he’s passed at least half of this test.

Still, the last thing he’s expecting to happen is to be met in the courtyard by a crowd of people including the majority of the 12th Division, Yoruichi, Hirako-taichou, and a number of other Gotei 13 members of various ranks.

“Ah,” Kisuke stalls out for a moment, “is … there a problem?”

“Urahara-taichou,” Ukitake-taichou looks pained, “we’ve heard some unsettling rumors and it should be known that experiments involving children are not condoned by the Gotei 13.”

Kisuke blinks, confused. Yoruichi lets out a loud bray of laughter that she instantly tries to tamp down on with only mild success.

“Apologies,” Kisuke bows shallowly before straightening, hands coming up at his sides as he shrugs just a bit, the movement sending Yuzu and Karin into new rounds of giggles.  “In my defense the fires were controlled and they seemed to enjoy it.”

“Kisuke-nii is lots of fun,” Yuzu agrees with a bright smile despite her soot covered face.

“Kisuke-nii let us make things go boom,” Karin cheers as she throws her hands in the air, unconcerned with the way she’s so far off the ground.  “Best day ever!”

Around the courtyard everyone seems to freeze much to Kisuke’s bewilderment.

“K-Kisuke-nii?” He hears someone whisper.

“Hopefully your sister will agree,” Kisuke tells both of them because now that he knows they really had enjoyed the afternoon that’s all that matters to him.  “My beloved is very demanding after all.”

“B-Beloved?” this time it’s more of a echoed shriek than a whisper.

“What, exactly, is going on?” Ukitake-taichou interrupts then.

“Oh,” Kisuke blinks again, attention turning back to the gathered mass in front of him.  “Did you not know?  I assumed it was obvious.”

“No,” Ukitake-taichou looks somewhere between flustered and pained.  “I’m afraid we’re all at a bit of a lose Urahara-taichou.  Please explain why and how you have these children.”

“I agreed to watch Yuzu-chan,” Kisuke raises the hand holding her up in emphasis, “and Karin-chan,” that hand goes up then, “because their sister had business to tend to today.”

“Someone voluntarily let you watch kids?” HIyori asks, disbelief thick in her voice.

“Yes,” Kisuke can’t help the way he puffs up just a bit in pride, “I insisted.  We’ll be family one day soon if all goes well after all.”

“Family?” One of the lower ranked members of the 12th speaks up then.  “You’re gonna have a family?”

“Indeed,” Kisuke agrees easily enough. “As soon as I convince their sister, Kurosaki Ichigo, to marry me.  She is very stubborn but, as you can tell, I am madly in love.”

There’s a moment of silence once again.

And then …

Chaos.

[medea10]

My Review of Trigun

How did I get into this anime? Let’s just say this was one of those animes that used to air on Saturday nights back in the day that I would every now and then come across while waiting for either Full Metal Alchemist, InuYasha, or Cowboy Bebop to air. But I never did watch a full episode or know a damn thing about this anime. So I’m just jumping into this anime blindfolded. All I know is that this was Johnny Yong Bosch’s first anime role.

Who is Vash the Stampede?

A frequent question that comes up throughout the series! Rumor has it that he wears a long, red trench coat and sports a Mohawk hairstyle. Some say he’s a notorious lecher. Many recount him shooting up their villages to a pile of rubble just for the heck of it. He has quite the reputation as he has a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head and is often known as the “Humanoid Typhoon”.

In reality, Vash the Stampede is…a bit of a dingus. He just happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and things kinda get out of hand. But that doesn’t stop two insurance agents (Milly Thompson and Meryl Stryfe) from following him around to confirm Vash’s identity and keep his actions to a minimum. At first, it’s hard to tell if he’s a stupid-genius or just flighty and gets lucky one too many times. But when shit goes down, don’t be surprised when you see this doofus get serious.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Okay, what sad company did this use to belong to, Geneon, Bandai, or ADV Films? Oh, Geneon! That means good voice actors from L.A. put in really shitty roles. On the contrary, this was a fairly decent English dub. And on a severely positive note, this was indeed Johnny Yong Bosch’s very first anime role (and a main role at that). This was like fresh off his time as a Power Ranger! And I gotta give props for giving this guy a chance at voice acting. This role was the launching point to what has been a very successful career for Bosch. As for the sub, let’s just say I’m happy any time I get to hear Hiromi Tsuru in something besides Dragon Ball. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Vash is played by Masaya Onosaka (known for Bill on Pokemon, Isaac on Baccano, Jadeite on Sailor Moon, Kero on Cardcaptor Sakura, Leeron on Gurren Lagann, France on Hetalia, and Spandam on One Piece)

*Meryl is played by Hiromi Tsuru (known for Bulma on DBZ, Ukyo on Ranma ½, Yubel on YGO GX, and Mika on Gravitation) [R.I.P.]

*Milly is played by Satsuki Yukino (known for Kagome on InuYasha, Mion/Shion on Higurashi, Tae on Gintama, Amakata on Free!, Hiiragi on Natsume Yuujinchou, Mutsumi on Love Hina, and Yoruichi on Bleach)

ENGLISH CAST: *Vash is played by Johnny Yong Bosch (known for Ichigo on Bleach, Lelouch on Code Geass, Makoto on Free!, Izaya on Durarara, Artemis on Sailor Moon redub, Koizumi on Haruhi Suzumiya, and Yukio on Blue Exorcist)

*Meryl is played by Dorothy Elias-Fahn (known for Kaoru on Rurouni Kenshin, Naru on Love Hina, Tomoe on Rozen Maiden, Hakuei on Magi, Houki on Fushigi Yugi, and Amane on Tenchi Muyo GXP)

*Milly is played by Lia Sargent (known for Dorothy on The Big O and Judy on Cowboy Bebop)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Milly! I don’t need a reason, it’s Milly!

SHIPPING: I didn’t really start thinking about shipping until more than halfway into this series. I thought there might be something between Vash and Meryl, but then again maybe not! Then I saw the backstory of Vash’s “younger days” and falling for the one woman who showed him compassion.

Yes, this is the same woman we consistently see in Vash’s flashbacks, Rem. Ooh boy, it’s one of those stories! So yeah, never mind my thinking with Vash x Meryl ever happening. I feel like Vash will mourn Rem’s death for a long time that I don’t think the whole thing with Meryl will ever work.

And as for Wolfwood x Milly…

FUUUUUUUCK! WHY DID YOU RUIN THIS CUTE COUPLE?!

MILLY WAS HEART-BROKEN!

…At least she got to have one night of passion with Wolfy-boy before the unthinkable happened.

THAT DARN CAT: If you watched this series, you might have noticed a little black cat spotted in nearly every episode. It’s there in the opening theme. It’s there in random places throughout the series. It’s there in the ending theme. What’s up with this cat? Well, there are a lot of theories surrounding this particular cat (or Kuroneko). Some say it’s really Rem inside that cat since you see it in literally every episode around Vash. Others say it’s because the creator of Trigun wanted to just mess with your minds with the kitty walking around in random places and towns. Seriously, it will always appear in every new town Vash and the gang comes across! As an avid cat enthusiast, I’m fine with whatever the result. Just as long as no harm comes to the little Kuroneko.

HALFWAY POINT: Halfway into the series we notice something more when it comes to Mr. Vash the Stampede. First of all, those horrifying scars all over his body! Second, that mysterious girl he often thinks about. I mean, we see flashes of her in the opening sequence. And third, the reason why he never kills. Vash has the ability of causing so much damage when pushed to a breaking point. One of the many reasons why he’s known as the “humanoid typhoon”! And that was perfectly shown when Vash chases the residents out of a town (so there would be no casualties), totally demolished the town during a fight, and made an indent on the moon!

But the story takes a sharp-left turn into WTF territory when we learn about WHAT exactly Vash is. Vash is a plant. Vash also has a brother named Knives. And while Vash has a mentality that all beings have a right to live, Knives has a “kill them all and let God sort them out” point of view. Now the existence of Vash and Knives came with a lot of controversy, especially in the ship that they were on. But that girl who Vash cares for, Rem cared for them regardless of what they were. Rem had high hopes for a peaceful world with coexistence. Too bad Knives had other motives and killed her.

ENDING TO TV SERIES: Vash has tried so hard to keep Milly, Meryl, and Wolfwood out of harm’s way. He knows there are some pretty bad people after him, including his polar-opposite brother, Knives. Vash hates death and wants to save as many people as humanly possible. He doesn’t want to see any more needless death. Probably from his flashbacks and losing Rem! Unfortunately, this doesn’t go so well.

I can see how iconic this death was now after witnessing it. Wolfwood, the priest who would hook up with Vash every now and then when they’re up against some ruffians, now finds himself in a crucial decision. He gets orders that he must eliminate Vash. And Wolfwood ends up dying instead in a very dramatic death scene. God-damn! And just that scene where Milly is sobbing freakin’ eats you up inside.

At least she had one night of passion before the unfortunate happened!

Vash hates the thought of having to kill anyone. But he might not have a choice if Knives is coming after him and even hires a powerful foe from a previous episode and the guy that killed Wolfwood to take you out. Once Vash met up with Knives, he winds up having some pretty sick flashbacks of Knives. But our homeboy was able to take out Knives, the desert area gets water, and…

I’m gonna have to read the fucking manga for more, right?

Tap dancing fuck!

BADLANDS RUMBLE: 12 years after the series ended, Japan decides to release a side-story in the form of a movie, bringing back our favorite characters like Vash, Wolfwood, Milly, and Meryl. And yes, reuniting the cast…in Japan.

By 2010, Geneon was as good as dead and FUNimation licensed Trigun. In short, they managed to get Johnny Young Bosch to reprise his role as Vash the Stampede. But everyone else was replaced. And surprisingly, the people they got to do Wolfwood and Milly were pretty freakin’ close to their original voices. Meryl’s voice, come on I know Luci Christian any-damn-where! Vash helps a young lady take out a big-bad guy (who turns out to be his father). And it has the feel of the original series where it’s set in a western town with lots of booze and shoot-em-ups! It’s an interesting side-story to the Trigun trilogy.

Trigun was a pretty good anime. I mean, not one of my favorites, but I can definitely see a lot of people sticking by this classic. Maybe you can chalk up my blah attitude to the fact that I’m not fond of westerns and I kinda took it out on Trigun. Or the fact that there was so much more that the anime could have covered before the end and the ending kinda felt off to me! Like I thought I was expecting more. But I suppose that’s what mangas are for. To be honest, the stories that really grabbed my attention were the back-stories with Vash and Knives and Wolfwood’s final episode.

*sniffles* At least Milly got one night of passion before he died!

If you would like to check out Trigun, all the episodes are available through FUNimation and Hulu (in both Japanese and English). And if you really like the anime, why not purchase the hard copies? Both the series and movie are available for home video.

Okay, that took me a while, but I’m glad to finish Trigun. What’s next on the FUNimation list?

EEHHHHHEEEHHHE

Fuck is that supposed to mean? What is that? Is that even in English?

YOU WILL BE HORRIBLY MUTILATED: The Isekai

Do you mean Re:Zero? That’s great…but that review’s not ready yet. And it probably won’t be until after April 2021! So let’s cast caution to the wind and pick another FUNimation licensed anime.

You’re watching Sarazanmai next. It’s best if you don’t ask questions.

Sarazanmai? The fuck does that even mean?!

OH. MY. GOD.

[gunnerpalace]

▲ ICHIRUKI (also that edit!!!! my heart!!!!!)

Unpopular Opinion #1: I really dislike the notion that’s been built up in the fandom that Ichigo and Rukia understand each other perfectly just through eye contact and that they don’t need to talk (and certainly not about their feelings!) because they’re soulmates and uwu just so perfect for each other. Because that’s bullshit, and it’s just not borne out by how they act in the text.

They’re incredibly damaged people who heal each other and develop a very deep and intuitive understanding of each other, but they clearly didn’t always have that understanding and even once they do, they remain somewhat codependent on each other. The clearest evidence of that understanding taking time to develop is the prelude to the Grand Fisher fight, when Rukia is chastising herself after Ichigo says he killed his mother. Then she comes back and gives her speech:

Ichigo famously parrots this back at Isshin later. Like, my dudes, it is unambiguously right there in black and white: they still need to communicate complex shit verbally. They’re good at reading one another’s emotional states and knowing when things are wrong with each other… but they aren’t psychic. They still need to talk. And that is why whenever Ichigo is in a funk, Rukia gives a speech to snap him out of it: she talks to him.

And I feel like this perception is fueled by the fact Kubo went out of his fucking way to separate them as much as possible within the pages of his manga and to ignore most of the time they did have together to talk because it got in the way of shounen-y things or whatever other bullshit explanation he might’ve had.

A whole month of Rukia’s two months in Ichigo’s closet, including his 16th birthday? Not shown.

Ichigo staying in Soul Society for a week, presumably around Rukia rather than his friends? Not shown.

Ichigo and Rukia’s day together after her return from Soul Society before the fight with Grimmjow? Not shown.

Ichigo and Rukia in the aftermath of Ichigo regaining his Shinigami powers in the Xcution arc? Not shown.

Ichigo and Rukia training in the Soul King’s Palace together? Not shown.

Ichigo and Rukia in the immediate aftermath of the war? Not shown.

They had an awful lot of time to just talk. And they presumably did talk, given for example that Ichigo knew Rukia would be at Kuukaku’s house if she wasn’t in Soul Society—he had to have some idea about Kaien, and that means she must’ve told him about him. But we didn’t see it.

Because Kubo is a wuss and refused to let anyone interact for any reason, but especially not people who’d talk for hours and hours due to having a natural and easy interpersonal connection. (The live-action movie is canonical as to how Ichigo and Rukia’s downtime would’ve gone down, fight me.)

Unpopular Opinion #2: In a related fashion, a lot of people in fandom say they’re not the kind of people to outright say “I love you” to one another. And while that is admittedly a very Japanese position to take (as saying “aishiteru” is considered really dramatic) I would counter by saying that Ichigo and Rukia very much are the  D R A M A T I Q U E  sorts who would do exactly that.

Like, come on, they met with Ichigo kicking Rukia in the ass, Rukia drawing a mustache on Ichigo’s face, and Rukia stabbing Ichigo through the heart to transfer her soul powers to him after he cracked some sexual innuendo like “Let’s do it.” Then there’s Ichigo’s various arrivals in the Soul Society arc, and Rukia’s arrivals at the start of the Arrancar, Hueco Mundo, and Xcution arcs to pay him back, which are all dramatic as fuck. It’s always spectacle with them around each other, and they can’t seem to help it.

Oh, but it’d be too dramatic for them to say “I love you”? As if. They’re precisely the kind of people to spring “I love you,” on each other in a society where that doesn’t happen often, just like they almost instantly skip to being on a first-name basis and start up that rumor mill. They would just need some time to come around to it.

I originally wrote here that: “(The Leia/Han thing from The Empire Strikes Back of “I love you,” and “I know,” would fit perfectly at the end of chapter 423, in either configuration, and you cannot convince me otherwise.)” I instead went and made it and gave it its own post, but you can have it again:

Tell me this does not work. Tell me it does not feel canonical. Tell me it doesn’t feel like them. And I’ll call you a bloody liar for your troubles!

Unpopular Opinion #3: They’re both switches. Neither is a defined top or bottom, sub or dom. (And to be honest, I pretty much hate the whole concept/trope in fandom for all ships that each party must be one defined thing.)

This is more of a Rukia-specific note but she tries to be so put-together and in-control all of the time that the idea that her thing is being in charge strikes me as weird; she’d seem just as if not more likely to have a kink of losing or giving up control (and being coaxed/made to forget her responsibilities/past as part of the act) simply because it was novel.

Meanwhile, on a more Ichigo specific note... Shirosaki/Hichigo/Zangetsu is basically Ichigo’s id and has a real thing for being The King and riding “a horse,” and you’re gonna tell me Ichigo’s an innocent bottom? Nah. I think Ichigo’s a little shy and seems fairly close to demisexual if anything, but he is also still clearly interested in women (as Yoruichi, Rangiku, and Tenjirou of all people could attest) and I think given what we see of Zangetsu, he would be pretty eager to learn.

(I would probably call them both demisexual overall. But they’re switches.)

Unpopular Opinion #4: This is IchiRuki-tangential, but I cringe when people write Byakuya as disapproving of Ichigo in particular or IchiRuki in general for the sake of petty drama. Post-Soul Society, Byakuya is absolutely Ichigo’s biggest booster other than Rukia (ahead of Isshin, Karin, Yuzu, Orihime, Chad, Uryuu, Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro, Kisuke, Yoruichi, Juushirou, Shunsui, et alia). 

Dude did his best to kill Tsukishima, who he thought was a mentor-figure at the time, because he wanted to hurt Ichigo. He would be fucking thrilled, in his severely understated and conservative Byakuya way. The omake material with Byakuya getting Ichigo a lifetime meal pass in Soul Society is another example of this. 

Other than Rukia there is no one more likely to start singing “Number One,” and you can’t tell me he wouldn’t support them given that. I feel this should also broadly be reflected in most AU settings because it’s pretty fundamental to Byakuya’s development as a character.

Unpopular Opinion #5: This one is for the Bleach community at large, and I’ll say it real simply: there isn’t a single plot point or sequence of events in the rest of the pile of shit that is Bleach that works one bit without Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship as the lynchpin holding it all up. There is no manga without them and their interactions.

It is, as I have said before, functionally more of a supernatural romance than an urban fantasy because of this. IR is like, the goddamn Higgs field of Bleach: it gives everything else mass.

[kuronanox]

Apart - Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

Never in a thousands year did she think that she would see his face again. Yet he was here in the soul society where she originated from. An overwhelming pack of emotion build inside her as he step foot in front of her. (Your Name) couldn't read the expression on his face. He didn't look happy or sad, just expressionless to her.

All of this happen and was interrupted when Nel hit him in the head to get to Ichigo and that was when Grimmjow lost his balance and was pulled out of his daze towards (Your Name).

"You are alive?" She quickly says beating Ichigo to the question.

"Let's leave this happy reunion for another time will ya." Grimmjow smirks.

(Your Name) couldn't help but look at him, she thought that she was to late to save Grimmjow when Nnorita attacked him and she was forcefully taken away from him by Rukia and Renji when the war was over. She thought he was dead the whole time. Even Grimmjow understood that their relationship was forbidden.

"Why?" She says to Grimmjow with sad eyes and tears forming threatening to fall off.

"You left me." He says to her before walking away. (Your Name) was frozen in place, she was hurting. She wanted to run and hug him, save him from all the painful memories of them.

"(Your Name), it's okay lets give him some time. Let's beat this war and talk to him when everything is settled." Nel warmly put a hand on her shoulder with a smile on her face. "Trust me, he has been hurting too."

(Your Name) looks at Ichigo and he gives her a determine smile as she simply nodded.

Although the war was happening and everyone was fighting with all their strength she couldn't bare to separate from him any longer as she stayed near him but not to close.

Grimmjow was chasing Askin as the Quincy man ran away from the sexta espada but Grimmjow cat instinct chased him till he could cut the man down.

(Your Name) could tell he wasn't going to be an easy enemy as she was lost in thoughts a unknown Quincy came from behind her and attacked leaving Grimmjow away from her sight.

With (Your Name) gone Grimmjow sensed she was in battle "Don't you dare lose women."

"I guess it's time for me to get serious also."

He couldn't help but think how long it had been since he last saw her. The last image he had of her was unpleasant, she was crying on top of him trying to wake him up. He was physically tired from the fight he had with Ichigo and with Nnorita giving the final blow he wouldn't admit lost but he was already thrown on the floor and then it was black for him.

When he woke up she was gone and everyone was gone and he was stuck with that annoying green hair child and Halibel.

Grimmjow wouldn't admit that he was hurting everyday she was gone from him. He finally had a reason to fight besides trying to kill Ichigo, he wanted to save her home so she could live happily without him again.

(Your Name) cursed as she was thrown harshly and crashed into a building as blood escaped from her mouth. She wanted to win, she had to win or else Grimmjow was personally going to kill her for losing. She smiles lightly and charged towards the Quincy.

Meanwhile Grimmjow and Urahara teamed up to take on Askin, Grimmjow impaled the mans chest crushing his heart with success. They believed that they took Askin down till they were engulf into his poison.

"I can't be killed by this." Grimmjow gritts his teeth trying to get up from the floor. Unsuccessful he thought this might be it, he was going to be defeated by a Quincy in a foreign land he didn't know. "I'm sorry (Your Name)"

After (Your Name) defeated the Quincy she felt that Grimmjow's reitsu was fading as she panicked and saw the big poison that had taken Urahara, Grimmjow and Yoruichi.

"Nel!" She says as the taller women stood next to her. "I wanna see Ichigo again you know." The green hair women tells (Your Name) as she sadly smiles and agrees. "Yeah I wanna see Grimmjow again too."

As the two took a deep breath they both entered the entrance to save them.

The war ended and there was so many casualties and changes it was hard for (Your Name) to cope with the loses. "Hey." She hears by her barack door to see a familiar face she yearned to see everyday.

"Uh come in." She quietly says as Grimmjow takes a seat next to her. The atmosphere was awkward. It was like they were totally strangers towards each other. "When do you go back?"

"Soon." He replies as she bites her lip and sighs causing Grimmjow to just stare at her.

"Why did you leave me." Grimmjow stares, genuinely upset at the women infront of him, after the war with Aizen he swore that no was going to hurt him like this again. The experience of love and happiness was first developed with (Your Name). He didn't like the stuffy warm feeling, it was out of character for him.

"I wanted to stay, I wanted to be with you and I tried to save you but you wouldn't come back. Rukia and Renji forcefully tried to take me but Kuchiki Taicho insisted that he wasn't going to leave a team member behind." (Your Name) explains looking down as her hands clenched in fist on her lap. "It's just never going to be a happy ending for us will it?"

"No one even approves of our relationship." Grimmjow bitterly bites back.

"Nel and Ichigo do."

"Like I give a shit what they think."

(Your Name) could only smile because Grimmjow was finally talking to you again. "I can't believe they allowed you to stay."

"They fucking better I helped their sorry asses in this war." He says scooting close to her laying his head on her lap as she ran a hand through his hair and he purred.

Grimmjow and her eyes both widen before she giggles and he gives out a toothy grin. "I don't remember the last time I purred." He yawns as she hums in response.

"I don't want to part ways."

Grimmjow looks up to her as the tears fall on his face and he gently wipes them away for her. Only for (Your Name) he would try to be gentle and try to learn the emotions of compassion.

"Don't cry." He tried to comfort her as she let the tear slip past his fingers as she broke down. "Why did we have to be enemies?" She continues to ask as he listen to her pleas. "I don't wanna live in a world where we have to be apart."

Grimmjow doesn't know what to say, he would never show anyone his weak side but for (Your Name) he always did. She was making his heart break as each tear came down his face. The sexta espada sits her up and straddle the small girl on his lap as he rest his chin on her head.

"I don't know, run away from here." He suggested as she pouts at his stupid suggestion and squeezes his arms hard. "Damn women I'm just trying to help."

"This is goodbye isn't it?" She whispers lowly as he hugs her tightly in response. "Promise me, you won't replace me."

Grimmjow sighs "What'd ya talking about? Like hell Im going to let someone come close to me again... unless it's you."

She sadly smiles as she turns her head and gives Grimmjow the first and last kiss they've had since meeting again. He kisses her back with intense passion as he felt his heart racing. "Of course only (Your Name) can make me feel soft."

After separating they stare into each other before pulling into a tight embrace. "I'm going to miss you." Grimmjow finally admits as she hides her tears again in his chest.

"I know, I'm going to miss you too."

Falling asleep on his chest (Your Name) embraces Grimmjow as he softly places her on the futon. He pushes some hair out of the way and tucks her in before getting up. He sadly looks at her face one last time and giving her a kiss before departing.

The next morning she shot up from bed and looked around for Grimmjow, opening the barack doors she called out his name. Some of her fellow shinigami friends tried to tell her that he was gone and asking if she was alright but she pushed them away.

"Don't touch me! I have to see him." "Grimmjow!" "You can't leave me like this!" "I can't live like this"

She sobs falling onto her knees till a long arm caught hers (Your Name) looks up to see her captain.

"Kuchiki Taicho?" She says confused as he looks down at her worriedly.

"(Your Name) he's gone. You have to pull yourself together." He states calmly holding her from falling as she bites her lip and looks away ashamed for looking so pathetic in front of everyone.

"I bet everyone thinks I'm a traitor for loving a arrancar." she bitterly says as Byakuya sighs and speaks. "No one thinks that."

(Your Name) stopped crying and started to stand on her own now. "I won't give up on him." She tells her captain as Byakuya could only acknowledge her determination.

She walks onto a hill in seiteitei, the afternoon sun shining brightly and looking around she saw her fellow comrades rebuilding and she gives one last smile.

"I have to be happy for him, for us. I'll see you soon my love."

[monkeydra]

Heeereee comes some prompts~! :D For the AU-list: Blind Date AU for Ichigo/Chad; Bodyguard AU for Grimmjow/Urahara/Yoruichi; Dragon AU for Hardison/Parker/Eliot; Roll Reversal AU for Wei Ying/Lan Zhan; Royalty AU for Lan Xichen/Wen Ning; Paranormal Investigator AU for Evie/Rick/Ardeth....aaaand I'll stop there XD Feel free to ignore some or all of these, of course! ;D

Sorry this took approximately forever! Hope you like them XD

I tried the leverage ot3 prompt but I really struggle with zoomorphism it seems, sorry :(

Ichigo/Chad - Blind Date AU

“I’m so sorry you got dragged into this,” Ichigo groaned, hiding his face in his hands, his usual furrow between his brows. Chad allowed himself a small moment of disappointment before reaching for Ichigo’s hands and tugging them down from his face. When Ichigo met his eyes, he smiled at him, fondly as always and Ichigo responded with his own small and precious smile.

“Do you still want to go in?” he asked, tilting his head towards the restaurant.

“You don’t have to,” Ichigo replied, looking sheepish again. “Rukia’s just. She’s trying to help.” Chad nodded, guiding Ichigo away from the entrance with a hand on his lower back. Ichigo didn’t like being inside when he felt agitated. He leaned into the touch and walked with him, his shoulder’s loosening. “It’s good to see you,” he said after they were down the street from the restaurant, beaming at him, eyes warm. Chad nodded in agreement, and Ichigo bumped him with his shoulder.

“How’s your family?”

“Dad’s as annoying as always,” he started with a roll of his eyes, “but Yuzu and Karin are in their last year of high school.” He brightened completely at the mention of his sisters. “They’re third and fourth in their class. Karin has been taking karate lessons from Tatsuki and Yuzu started a cooking channel on youtube.” Chad hummed to show he was still listening, pulling him a little closer when the crowd got denser. Ichigo’s hand came up and curled in the back of his shirt, leaning his head on Chad’s shoulder in an affectionate bump.

“How’s studying to be a teacher?”

“Good. I get to assist in a classroom next semester.”

“What year?” he asked, his smile and eyes soft and warm around the edges now, shifting a little closer himself this time.

“Second.”

“They’re gonna love you,” Ichigo declared.

“Thank you,” he murmured, pleased, and looked down at Ichigo again, now tucked under his arm. He was always so tactile, and he was only too happy to oblige. They fell into an easy silence, the crowds thinning again as the dinner rush came into full swing. Ichigo shivered at Chad’s side as the sky darkened, and Chad rubbed his hand over Ichigo’s arm.

“How did Rukia get you here anyway?”

“She told me I would be going on a date with you.”

Ichigo froze, and Chad stopped with him. He hadn’t stepped away, which Chad supposed was a good sign.

“You knew the date was with me?”

“Of course.”

Ichigo whirled out of his arms and kept Chad where he was with his hands on Chad’s shoulders.

“Can we start the date over?”

Chad tilted his head in confusion, but nodded, adding “If that’s what you want.” If Ichigo’s grins were bright before, it was blinding right now as he nodded. Once more, Chad couldn’t help but smile back. Ichigo wrapped his arm around Chad’s waist and nudged Chad with his shoulder in the short amount of time it took Chad to wrap an arm around him again, and they headed back to the restaurant.

Grimmjow/Urahara/Yoruichi - Bodyguard AU

Grimmjow clenched his teeth and nodded at Yoruichi.

“Okay, on three. One,” she started, and then wrenched his shoulder back into place. Grimmjow hissed and glared at her, but she just grinned back. “Good as new,” she said even as she poked at his shoulder.

“What are you doing then?” He kept his tone bored and Yoruichi pretended not to notice the strain in his voice, reminding him why they made such a good team.

“Feeling you up.”

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. She grabbed his arm and moved it up, to the side, back down, up again.

“Everything feel okay?”

“A little stiff, but it should be fine.”

“How do you know he’s not lying?” Urahara asked, voice filled with a forced levity neither of them called him out on. They also ignored his tightly crossed arms.

“He doesn’t lie on a job.”

“He can hear you,” he grumbled, stretching his arm out.

“He also gets grouchy when he doesn’t get to finish a fight.”

“Why start a fight if you’re just gonna run away?” he exclaimed. “And for fuck’s sake get over here,” he snapped. Urahara jumped, covering his shocked expression with the same appeasing, bland smile. Yoruichi leaned back until she was reclining on her arms, amusement radiating from every inch of her. Grimmjow cocked an eyebrow at Urahara, and evidently he was too curious to resist.

“What is it?” he asked once he was standing over them.

“Sit down, I don’t need a sore neck on top of everything else.”

Urahara made to sit and did not yelp when Grimmjow shoved him so he landed next to Yoruichi instead.

“You’re supposed to be protecting me, not injuring me!” he cried, whirling to look at Grimmjow on his other side.

“Try that on someone who actually believes your hopeless nerdy scientist routine,” Yoruichi drawled, sitting up again, her own smile unaffected even as Urahara’s froze on his face.

“That’s not the secret we’re tackling today,” Grimmjow said with a dismissive wave.

“I think you both know I’m too boring to have secrets,” he stammered. They both leveled him with looks so icily unimpressed that he almost hung his head in shame. Knowing them, they were less irritated by the lie and more how shoddy it was.

“Anyway, how much more do we have to flirt before you finally ask us out?” Yoruichi asked. “We’re both running out of excuses to lose our shirts.”

“And shirts,” Grimmjow added, shrugging his bare shoulder where his tank top strap should have been. Urahara’s mouth opened and closed helplessly, for once completely clueless on how to respond.

“Would you like to go on a date?” he asked finally, figuring that was a good place to start. They both grinned and leaned closer, twin yeses wafting warm over his ear and neck. “How did the conversation get here?” he asked.

Yoruichi shrugged and said, “We decided a few days ago to give you one more week to figure it out. If you didn’t then we’d give you a nudge.”

~

Wei Ying/Lan Zhan - Role Reversal AU

He traded the pristine whites and soft blues of his robes for something more functional, staked out a camp in the swirling miasma of resentful energy and mountains of death, and even then Lan Zhan still looked like untouchable jade. Wei Ying was tempted to ask what his secret was, but he suspected it was simply how stunningly beautiful he was.

“Let me carry you back,” he blurted out instead. Lan Zhan’s rosy lips parted, dark eyes widening just slightly before his expression shuttered again.

“No need.” He moved around Wei Ying and continued walking to the burial mounds, carefully stiff to hide the limp and broken ribs. Wei Ying ran so he was in front of him again.

“I can help with Wen Ning, and Wen Qing will have my head if she finds out I let you hike up a mountain like this.”

“Wei Ying isn’t letting me do anything,” he said, but before he could move around him again, Wei Ying laid a gentle hand on his arm.

“Lan Zhan please. Let me help you,” he said, echoing Lan Zhan’s own plea. Lan Zhan stopped, his icy mask faltering just enough for Wei Ying to see the uncertainty, the exhaustion, the pain. Lan Zhan had always been so softly, blessedly human. He nodded, and Wei Ying beamed at him. He turned and crouched down so Lan Zhan could climb onto his back. It was the fastest way to get him back to Wen Qing, and there was less of a risk of Lan Zhan reaching a meridian by accident and feeling his missing golden core. He felt warmth at his back before Lan Zhan’s weight on him, and waited until his arms were around his shoulders, Bichen dangling in front of them both, before standing. Lan Zhan’s arms tightened around him in surprise, but he was otherwise quiet and still.

“Don’t worry, Lan Zhan! We’ll be back at the burial mounds in no time, and between the two of us we can definitely restore Wen Ning’s consciousness.”

“Mn.”

Wei Ying smiled to himself at the instant agreement.

“And Wen Qing will have you fixed up in no time. Does she bully you with her needles too?”

“Wen Qing doesn’t bully me.”

“Ah, you would say that Lan Zhan. You’re so patient with everyone. I used to think you were a stick in the mud until I got to know you better,” he said, ignoring the hitch—likely from pain—in Lan Zhan’s breath. “You’re actually a really good guy.” Lan Zhan’s arms tightened around his shoulders briefly and loosened again. “You can hold on tighter if you want, Lan Zhan. And don’t think I didn’t notice how you spoiled A-Yuan. Is it that you like cute things? I remember you like rabbits.” Lan Zhan’s arms tightened a little around his shoulders, and slowly the last of his weight leaned on him, his silken cheek pressed to Wei Ying’s.

“Wei Ying does not have to carry me all the way up.”

“I’ll do it anyway. You shouldn’t be walking on a broken leg Lan Zhan, and Wen Qing might not bully you but she’d definitely pick on me.” He shifted him carefully to secure his grip on him. “Now hold on tight Lan Zhan. This path is a little steep and I wouldn’t want to drop such precious cargo.”

Lan Zhan’s breath hitched again, and Wei Ying made a note to be even more careful about his grip on his injured leg.

Lan Xichen/Wen Ning - Royalty AU

Wen Ning remembers his first impression of Lan Xichen: gentle smile and impeccable manners. He remembers the overwhelming feeling of relief that his betrothed seems kind—not that his sister would have allowed otherwise. Even if his fiancée didn’t love him, maybe they could still be friends, he hoped.

Wen Ning supposes that impression still holds even now.

A pretty flush started on Lan Xichen’s ears and spread to those high cheekbones, his sweet smile even wider than normal, his crown and ribbon slightly askew on his head.

“Wen-gongzi!!!” he cried, standing quickly in what would have been a scramble if Lan Xichen were any less graceful. Wei Wuxian hid a laugh behind his drink, his own husband staring dazedly at him at his side. “Didi look!!!” Lan Xichen said to Lan Wangji, prompting him to look away from Wei Wuxian and to his older brother. “My fiancée is here!!!”

Wen Ning felt his face flame even as something unfurled in his chest at hearing Lan Xichen sound so happy to see him. Still, he was here for a reason.

“W-Wei-gongzi, why did you c-call me?”

“I do remember giving you permission to call me Wei Ying,” he replied with a playful grin.

Lan Xichen took his hands in his before Wen Ning could muster a reply.

“I asked him to,” he said earnestly, squeezing his hands. “I have a very important question.” Wen Ning found himself standing straighter at the serious look on his face, nodding in response.

“Of c-course, Lan-gongzi.”

“This is important,” he said again, nodding gravely. “May I call you A-Ning?”

“W-what?!”

“May I call you A-Ning?” he repeated patiently, that wide, beautiful smile still on his face.

“Y-You can call m-me whatever you w-want, Lan-gongzi.”

To his confusion, Lan Xichen vehemently shook his head.

“Only if it’s alright with you,” he declared. “And may I hug you?” he added. “I like you so much!!!” Lan Xichen looked so happy, so hopeful. Wen Ning felt the all his blood rush to his head.

“Y-you c-can,” he finally whispered, voice hoarse. “T-to b-both, I w-want you t-to.” He found he truly meant it, too, his stuttering getting worse with just how much he wants it, how much his nervousness was choking him. Lan Xichen’s arms were around him in an instant, sweeping him in so he was completely pressed to his warm, firm body, his face tucked into the crook of his neck. Lan Xichen’s chin rested on the top of his head as he swayed them back and forth, and Wen Ning worked his arms out from between them to hug him back.

“I can’t wait for the courting period, A-Ning,” he said, only a little quieter than before. “I’m going to spoil you! So much!” Wen Ning buried his face deeper. He swallowed and took a deep breath, like his sister taught him, and pulled away enough to look up at him.

“T-Thank you, A-Huan,” he whispered. Lan Xichen gasped and beamed down at him, squeezing him impossibly closer.

“I like you so much, A-Ning!!!”

Then all his weight dropped onto Wen Ning.

He caught him, looking at Wei Wuxian when the man laughed.

“He’s asleep,” he reassured in between giggles, wiping at his eyes. Still, there was something soft and delighted in his expression, enough to reassure Wen Ning this wasn’t a joke of some kind.

“W-what should I d-do?”

“If we wait a little while, he’ll sober up.” He took another sip of his drink, and Wen Ning only now noticed Lan Zhan asleep on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “Sit with me, and bring him with you. I’m sure he’d like waking up with his head in your lap.” Wen Ning hid behind Lan Xichen again, sure his face matched his robes. Still, he half carried, half dragged him to the table, carefully easing them down until they both sat and, after a moment of self-conscious hesitation, pushed Lan Xichen’s legs further out and guided his head to his lap.

Wei Ying met his eyes across the table, undeniably pleased. He pushed a cup to him, already filled with wine, but Wen Ning shook his head.

“N-no thank y-you, Wei-g--” he stopped, deciding to take another risk tonight. “W-Wei Y-Ying.” Wei Ying grinned. They sat in companionable silence until Wei Ying set his cup down with a quiet, definitive clack.

“He meant every word you know.”

Wen Ning nodded.

“He w-wouldn’t lie,” he agreed softly. Wei Ying stared at him for a moment, oddly serious, before the grin was back on his face.

“As long as you know that.” He took another sip of his drink. “Also, you might want to brace yourself for the courting period.” Wen Ning cocked his head to the side, a silent question. Wei Ying’s grin was a little frightening this time around in its blatant amusement, clearly at Wen Ning’s expense this time. “The Lans don’t half ass wooing.”

Wen Ning felt his cheeks warm again.

Evie/Rick/Ardeth - Paranormal Investigator AU

Sorry this one is so short! I couldn’t think of much for it unfortunately

“Evie, darling,” Rick said with a stare that spoke of being completely desensitized to this very situation, “please step out of the pentagram.”

“Oh!” She looked around and realized she was indeed standing in the middle of the pentagram, painted on the floor in a red liquid that Rick refused to contemplate the origins of. “Well, at least we know we’re going in the right direction. This was in my vision.” She still hadn’t stepped out of the pentagram, but before Rick could point that out again Ardeth walked by and took her hand, gently tugging her out of it. Evie swung the flashlight around again, distracted, as Rick and Ardeth shared a fond grin.

“See any ghosts so far?” Rick asked.

“No. I can’t sense any either.”

“So is this place haunted or just creepy?”

“Too soon to tell,” Evie replied, looking closely at the walls for any distinctive features. Ardeth looked to the side and ran his hand along the markings, neither of them noticing the pipe Rick willed away from their heads.

[ljungfrun]

Bleach, From Pilot to Ch. 423: Things I Forgot Or Were Excluded From The Anime

Turns out I had forgotten a lot of things tho they might not seem that important. Anyway, the list is long so I’ll keep it under the cut. It’s a bit messy but I was just writing it as I was reading and then I somehow expected myself to remember what I was talking about. Posting it for anybody else who could use the reminder.

Please keep in mind that I’m pretty sure the translation I was reading wasn’t a 100% correct but I couldn’t be bothered to find a better one. Seems like it improved later on but I’d still take it with a grain of salt. (Like I’m pretty sure this translator couldn’t read hiragana properly, and some names were really messed up.)

- I did not know there was a pilot chapter so yeah... that entire thing I guess. - Orihime being that open about her crush from the beginning - Orihime’s parents being such cruel people - Orihime’s hairpins being a gift from Sora - The backstory of the mod souls - Chad’s crazy about cute things - Keigo is from Naruki City, not Karakura - Mizuiro being really popular with girls - Renji and Byakuya with weird hoods, idk if that was part of the anime and so far there’s been a part from the anime that wasn’t in the manga (The part with Ichigo seeing Rukia fight a hollow in town before she comes into his room) - Orihime is bad with electronics - Ishida is poor - Tatsuki told Orihime that she is probably at the level of a black belt in karate (I don’t know if she was honest about that but she said it) - Orihime is really dang smart - I forgot Nemu was technically Mayuri’s daughter -Also Mayuri is awful, he belongs in worst dad club with Isshin (I also didn’t remember Isshin being SUCH a creep but I guess I forgot to write that earlier. Or I just decided not to since reviewing this list afterwards I realize I left some other creepy things out.) - Mayuri can turn into liquid - Zanpakutou Materializing Dolls, and other artefacts. So many artefacts. Never to be mentioned or used ever again. - Kira feeling super guilty over raising a sword at Hinamori. - Orihime just chilling with Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichika after the was separated from Uryuu. Oh and Zaraki’s there too. - Hisagi having been accepted as a shinigami before he passed the exams, expected to become a seated officer - Rukia idolised Kaien’s wife - That Komamura was that loyal to Yamamoto - I remember Kenpachi fighting Komamura and Tousen, not picking a fight with Komamura, Tousen, Iba, and Hisagi. Neither did I remember Ikkaku and Yumichika joining in, it’s just entirely gone from my memory - Byakuya’s scarf is a really expensive heirloom. - Byakuya was really cold in the beginning, supposedly not caring about his subordinates (idk if he really changed later on but this stood out to me in the moment. Also speaking of Byakuya, I think he seemed older to me when watching the anime because of the voice.) - Really I had forgotten a lot about the animosity between Byakuya and Renji - Rukia doesn’t refer to Gin as “Captain Ichimaru” and he doesn’t mind since they’ve “known eachother for so long”. Apparently she’s deathly afraid of him. - Kaname got his zanpakutou from the grave of the lady he liked? I’ve always wondered how people get their zanpakutous anyway ‘cause I don’t think Zaraki had any training and I’m pretty sure it’s the same sword he had when he met Yachiru, yet Zangetsu comments on how the sword is crying. (I’m also curious about if people could potentially wield other zanpakutous, which I think is a thing in the quincy arc but I’m talking like... normal people. I think it’d be neat since there’s already two people that have just... picked up a zanpakutou before they even became shinigamis.) - Rikichi! He’s such a big fan of Renji! He got Hanatarou out of jail just to help Renji. He didn’t only get him a new uniform but also a hair tie and a bandana. I’m a little sad that he never seems to show up ever again? (At least I don’t remember him being in the quincy arc but that’ll have to be it’s own list I guess) - Ukitake and Kyouraku stopping and destroying Soukyoku - Kiyone calling Isane sister. - Soifon getting ready to take out Kiyone and the other vice-captain. - Kyouraku being praised for being the best at seeing the true character of anyone he meets, and Ukitake always being the centre of a crowd although (frail, but affable and kind) - Yamamoto thinking of Ukitake and Kyouraku as sons - Katen Kyoukotsu and Sogyo no Kotowari are the only zanpakutous that exist in pairs (allegedly) (I don’t remember why I wrote allegedly but I had some thought behind it......) - Soi Fong’s name was Shaolin Fong until she inherited her grandmother’s code name. - Soi Fong not being angry with Yoruichi because she ran away, but because she didn’t take her with her - Iba having been part of the 11th division, but becoming Komamura’s vice-captain (supposedly for his mom) - Iba wanting to get a chance to fight Ichigo - Byakuya only showing Senkei Senbonzakura Kageyoshi to people he wants to kill personally, Ichigo being the second person. I can’t recall if the first person was ever revealed? - Kira going along with the scheme and leading away Hitsugaya and Matsumoto from the Central 46 chambers. He was told they wouldn’t do anything to Hinamori - Hinamori joined the Gotei 13 because she admired Aizen, which would imply she met him before the soul burial training accident, but idk if that’s a translation mistake - Unohana confronting Aizen in the Central 46 chambers and calling him a treacherous reprobate - How Kyoka Suigetsu works. I forgot that for it to work on someone they need to see the release, and that after that the person who saw it will be completely hypnotised every time he releases it from then on. - Aizen was certain that he could use all three of Kira, Hinamori, and Renji back when they first met, but Renji was problematic so he was sent on to squad 11 while Kira and Hinamori were made Aizen and Gin’s vice-captains - Ichigo and Renji trying to fight Aizen together - Ichigo being a fucking monster! Who stays conscious after having their stomach cut open like that? In the anime it was just a really bad slash but since the manga is a but more graphic I’m only now like “oh wow that is really fucking bad” - There were names for the four basic types of combat for shinigamis. Zanjutsu(sword skills), Hakuda(hand-to-hand combat), Hohou(foot work), and Kidou. - Hollowfication is brought up this early, but I guess it makes sense because he’s explaining the Hougyoku. - Urahara, not Aizen, hid the Hougyoku inside Rukia. - Urahara was exiled for creating an intractable gigai? I don’t think so Aizen, but okay. Also he was trying to turn Rukia into a human soul. Hm. - Komamura coming in to destroy Aizen mid-monologue. Thank you. (After reading Ichigo’s last fight with Aizen I am so tired of him talking aaahhhhh!) - All the gate guardians except for Jidanbou are traitors, Kuukaku shows up with Jidanbou (was this in the anime???) - I remember Ichigo hanging out with squad 11 after the whole Aizen thing, but I did not remember Iba being there too which is nice. They didn’t get to spar tho. - Matsumoto and Kira getting drunk and venting about Gin, though it’s portrayed pretty comically. Matsumoto proceeds to invite pretty much anyone who passes by, except for Kyouraku. - Ryuuken is part of the shitty dad club. - Shinigami Isshin was revealed pretty much right after Shinji, I didn’t remember it being so early. - Also I didn’t remember the protection charm either but hey it worked. - Did- Did Orihime really only get to use Tsubaki ONCE?? - Also that entire fight with Yammy and Ulquiorra is just so much bloodier than in the anime - That moment when Ichigo tells Chad to leave D.Roy to him and Chad runs away, that hurt, ow my heart - Keigo being there to watch Ikkaku fight Eduardo. Also Keigo having a chat with Yumichika. - Ikkaku losing his molars in the fight with Eduardo is. - Yumichika going “oh and btw, make preparations for Ikkaku’s funeral” - Flashback about Ikkaku fighting Zaraki in the past. - Ikkaku being determined to fight and die under Kenpachi’s command. - Ururu kicking Ilfordt in the face- I mean Ururu going in to exterminate Ilfordt. - References to Toshirou’s bankai being incomplete. - Shawlong being the first arrancar to be created. (Allegedly? Supposedly? Succesfully? It depends on a lot, it’s a bit of an assumption.) - The power limit that is placed on captains and vice-captains when they go to the world of the living is symbolised by the division’s symbol. Oh and it takes away 80% of their power. Motherfucking damn bitch Ikkaku. Also good job Rukia. (I don’t remember what these last two sentences are refering to tbh) - Tatsuki watching the fight (I’m assuming the first) between Ichigo and Grimmjow, or at least part of it. - I guess I forgot to mention this earlier but Orihime being jealous of Rukia and her relationship with Ichigo - Tousen really not liking Grimmjow because he causes discord - Ichigo trying the beat the answers out of the Vaizards. - Goddamn Ichigo has a lot of attitude. - Urahara telling Orihime that she would be a burden in battle and Rukia talking to her afterwards. Orihime and Rukia need more talks. - Orihime getting kidnapped by Hiyori. - Hachi having similar abilities as Orihime. - Hachi also suggesting against Orihime fighting the war. - Orihime being so determined to fight. Goddamn I wish Tsubaki wasn’t her only way of doing damage. Give her one of those funky artefacts for fuck’s sake. - Yumichika not getting along with “Fujikujaku”. - The trees in Hueco Mundo are made of something quartz-like - Ulquiorra complimenting Orihime on her looks (Tbh I’ve forgotten about this scene again but I don’t think I intended to lie to my future self so I’m assuming it might’ve been something vague) - Orihime planning to reject the Hougyouku with her powers to destroy it, why don’t I see more about that?? - Wonderweiss being fond of Tousen. - Szayel sending out the execution squad after Dordoni - Only Grimmjow ever uses Gran Rey Cero (Idk if I ever really thought otherwise but it’s on the list so I guess it’s a confirmation I wanted to make) - Tesla threatening to destroy the Shun Shun Rikka - Nnoitra using Nel as a shield when Ichigo attacks at one point - Nnoitra and Neliel didn’t even fight after he tore off Dondochakka and Pesche’s masks in the flashback wtf. Now that I think of it, I’ve never seen manga screenshots of that part so I guess it’s only in the anime. Well that’s disappointing. Then what did Szayel even do? (Still sad they don’t fight more in the manga, bluh. Also I’m still not sure what Szayel actually did.) - Nnoitra thinking it a shame that they (him and Neliel I think) won’t get to fight again. - Mayuri observing Uryuu through bacteria, and Uryuu calling him out for violating human rights - Szayel rebirthing himself from Nemu, wtf. I’m not sure if that was in the anime. (Okay it was, she just didn’t get straight-up pregnant) - I also forgot about Szayel taking over Konjiki Ashisogi Jizou - The Jesus Szayel and Baphomet Mayuri chapter pages were new to me - Mayuri to Nemu: “Good job, keep suffocating Uryuu with your tiddies. If he dies, he dies.” - Nnoitra, after releasing Santa Teresa: “Kinda sexy, isn’t it?” (I don’t trust this translation a 100% but what was written was “I look sexy, right?”) - And Zaraki responding with “your reiatsu is making me hard…” - The Living World as seen through the Garganta in Las Noches is upside-down - Hikifune and the Royal Guard being mentioned during Turn Back The Pendulum - Hiyori looking up to Hikifune as a mother - Urahara being Commander of the Detention Unit in the 2nd Division, and the unit keeping people who wanted to withdraw from the Gotei 13, not just criminals. - Urahara making Mayuri his Vice Captain in the research institute - Barragan’s fraccions having packed together his throne and brought it with them - I can’t believe Charlotte’s magical girl scene was only in the anime but I suppose it makes sense - Hisagi’s fight with Findor  was also shorter in the manga which is… kind of a shame? Idk it was pretty well made in the anime, but I guess it’s because they were just coming back from a break and all. - Hisagi and Kira stopping Yumichika from rushing in after Ikkaku was beaten, Komamura stepping in to take care of the arrancar… whose name I’ve already forgotten once again. - Iba calling Ikkaku out for not using his bankai and punching him in the face. Good. I like Ikkaku but the pillar did get destroyed because of him so it was a pretty bad move. - Hinamori making a kidou net - Kira used to be in the 4th division, did I already write that? - The Gran Rey Cero being forbidden to use inside of Las Noches but leave it to Grimmjow not to care about any of that - Kyouka Suigetsu’s ability can be cancelled by grabbing the blade. - They sent Aizen to Avici, or I guess a prison named after Avici - Yamamoto scolding Byakuya, Shunsui, and Kenpachi for losing their captain’s haori and they proceed to insult it - They actually mention Mayuri going back to Hueco Mundo

[waspandr]

Hey didgeridoo, give us some Kisuke/Soi headcanons, either currently, from 100 years ago, or in general :>

// Ye hath no idea what fury ye bring upon thyself.  

*DEEP INHALE*

This first one is a bit of a rant of the whole dynamic between Kisuke, Yoruichi, and Soifon tbh.

Kisuke is Soifon’s best friend. Period. He is the truest friend she’s ever had/will likely ever have. Why is it Kisuke and not Yoruichi you ask? Because Yoruichi’s never really BEEN Soifon’s friend. Soifon has always, always put Yoruichi on such a high pedestal. Literally, in Soifon’s own words, the first time she even saw Yoruichi she thought “It was like meeting a Goddess” even after she started serving and working alongside her, she still thought about how lucky  she was to serve this Goddess, how she’s willing to give her life if so much as asked to. And even once she’s reunited with Yoruichi she STILL serves her, she STILL acts like Yoruichi’s right hand servant. Anything Yoruichi says or asks for, BAM. Soifon’s on it. It’s extremely apparent just how quick Soifon is to revert to her old self whenever Yoruichi is around because Soifon’s always been that little kid that saw a “Goddess”. Obviously, her family life and the whole Feng clan itself only reinforced this thinking. 

Soifon’s most definitely feels like she’s in-love or was in-love with Yoruichi at point or another but she doesn’t really know Yoruichi and I think that can almost be said about Yoruichi too, neither party really know one another which is why a true friendship is harder to achieve. I think Yoruichi wants that true friendship with Soifon and Soifon wants the same but they’re both struggling to meet a common ground. Cause Yoruichi more often than not  does take advantage of Soifon’s subservient tendencies. So it’s something that BOTH parties need to work on. Soifon can’t even seem to tell the difference between Yoruichi’s cat form and reg. cats which is a whole other topic i’ve dipped into before.

Over time we do get glimpses and hints that Soifon is maturing and seeing Yoruichi as more of  an equal than a Goddess but they’re very few and far between. 

Now, back to the Kisuke/Soi Dynamic. Yoruichi probably told Soifon all about Kisuke and how they trained together and etc and all them good things which probably gave Soifon a false sense of “So he’s a god then” and she’s all excited/nervous to finally meet him and it’s just this tall blonde gremlin of a man that smells disgusting and looks like he hasn’t bathed his entire life and all those expectations are instantly shattered. 

She has a hard time understanding like, fucking, how? why? What? The? Fuck? does Yoruichi see in this hobo-looking himbo?? So she just stalks him and takes notes and submits them constantly only to get teased and joked about instead of taken seriously. Like wtf did this man do to get such grace from a Goddess like Yoruichi?  and gradually over time Soifon gets to hang around Kisuke more, go on missions, just generally bother/visit him and becomes friends with him whether she’ll admit it or not. She’s comfortable enough to express herself around him. She gets a little too frightened and she doesn't freeze up like she does around Yoruichi, she goes to hide somewhere safe, like in that gif, she hides behind Kisuke and even tugs on him and cowers there. She’d never allow herself to show that kind of weakness around Yoruichi but she’s comfortable enough to show it to him. She might taunt him and call him names and sure, when he was up to become captain she probably was trying to stop it cause “are you really fucking sure he’s fit for the role?” but also she tried it because she was likely afraid to lose her only friend. 

If you don’t think Kisuke feels the same way, BOI. He knows Soifon. He knows every nuance of behavior and knows when/how to react to either calm her down or get her to do something. 

Additionally:

Kisuke probably reminds her of one of her (dead ass) older brothers which is why he was so easy to get along with sometimes. 

Soifon definitely had a short-lived crush on Kisuke and Yoruichi knew and never let her live it down and you’ll never convince me otherwise.

I think the idea of Kisuke being her first (accidental) kiss would be hilarious. Plus more ammo for Yoru to tease with.

Probably sometime before the events of TBTP she confessed to Yoruichi and got turned down or ignored or something and just cried to Kisuke about it cause he’s the only one who would understand. 

Soifon would hang around Kisuke whenever Yoruichi wasn’t around or wouldn’t let her come with and just asked him millions of questions and he’d happily answer each one cause she’s such a curious little sponge and he’s a well of knowledge. 

They’re both pretty damn protective of each other (even if Soifon had him locked away in a fucking BOX FOR A MONTH CAUSE SHE WAS FEELING PETTY)

Soifon claims she’s only visiting to see Yoruichi all the time but half the time it’s cause she wants to hang out with Kisuke without getting called out for it. 

Probably bakes him smaller treats whenever she makes something for Yoruichi and just like pretends they’re a bad batch or that she forgot about them and leaves them somewhere for him. 

He taught her how to draw/paint and she wound up really taking a liking to it. 

[feelingfredly]

The Fox Guards the Wolf

The Dance of the Honey Bee

Chapter Nineteen

The sun beat down brutally but it barely touched Suì-Fēng’s consciousness.

“Oji-san, it is so nice to see you again.” Yoruichi’s voice carried clearly through the parabolic microphone aimed in her direction, but it was the old man’s voice that Suì-Fēng needed to hear. She’d been trying to get a direct view of Mamushi all morning with no luck.  Hopefully, Yoruichi’s visit would bring the snake out of his hole.

According to the Director, the Yakuza gangs were in turmoil and Urahara was to blame.   He’d been pitting them against each other for months fomenting dissension in the ranks so that he could use the chaos as cover when he attacked Okura Kagetaka. The Onmi felt that Mamushi’s gang was the best of a bad bunch, and Kawasaki wanted to make sure they weren’t too damaged in the crossfire. That would destroy more useful connections between the government and the Yakuza than anyone could afford to lose. That meant a protection detail, and that was where Suì-Fēng came in.   Since the Onmi couldn’t allow there to be any question of loyalty issues, Yoruichi wouldn’t be involved, however the Director believed Suì-Fēng would be acceptable.  She had always been unquestioningly loyal, even when that loyalty endangered her, and she had earned the chance to protect her partner and her partner’s family—even if they were Yakuza and could take care of themselves—when the shit Urahara was stirring inevitably hit the fan.

It would have made her feel proud if she weren’t so sure that somehow she was being led around by the nose.

“I can’t believe I’m saying it, Oji-san, but I miss the noise of the pachinko machines.” Yoruichi sounded strangely sentimental wandering around the empty parlor. “I could hardly hear myself think before.”

Mamushi finally came out from where he’d been tucked away all morning. “That would imply that you stopped and thought, Yoruichi-chan.”  The voice was higher than Suì-Fēng remembered, but age often did that, and it had been years since she’d interacted with the man.  The first, and last, time Yoruichi had brought her new partner to meet the family hadn’t gone terribly well.

It hadn't been her fault.  Mostly.

“With the pachinko parlor closed I can not only hear myself think, but I could probably hear what everyone else is thinking, too.” A tinkling laugh echoed in the earpiece and Suì-Fēng could picture Yoruichi laughing.

One of Mamushi’s men pulled chairs out for them to sit and another brought a tray from the back. “Don’t try to listen to these men,” the old man let out a breath of a laugh as he settled himself, “you might find yourself embarrassed by what you hear, and then I would have to avenge your honor and we would never be able to enjoy this excellent tea.”

Yoruichi hmmm’d in agreement and for a few minutes the only sounds were the domestic noises of pouring and drinking. “I would hate to trouble you like that, Oji-san, although, I doubt that I would be the one embarrassed.”

A harsh bark of laughter. “You may be right, Yoruichi-chan, but you shouldn’t admit it.  Leverage is lost that way.”

Suì-Fēng would have told the old man that Yoruichi knew that better than he did, but she just frowned.  What was her partner playing at?

“I don’t know, Oji-san,” she sounded thoughtful, “it might be worth a little embarrassment to be able to hear what everyone else was thinking.”

“A foolish gamble.  You know what you’re thinking, would you like that shared far and wide on the chance that what you’d hear from one of my helpers?  Or the noodle-shop owner next door?  Or even the owner of the laundry two streets over?  No.  It is better for you to keep your secrets and let them keep their own.  Your friend Urahara understands that, even if your partner doesn’t.”

Suì-Fēng stiffened and adjusted her grip on the microphone. Surely…

“Oh, my Little Bee understands the value of secrets,” Yoruichi moved closer to the window. “Her problem isn’t in the keeping of them, but in the gathering of them.”

Suì-Fēng looked around surreptitiously and felt a bead of sweat trickle down her spine.  If she’d been spotted by the Yakuza, then this whole mission was wasted.

“She should take lessons from the other one.  He spies with the crows and the rats and the worms in the earth.  That one can smell the poison in a wound before the knife penetrates the skin.”  The old man’s voice was heavy with disdain. “He hasn’t the honor of thieves.”

Yoruichi tch’d and there was sudden a faint tapping sound in the background. Morse code?

 C…  o… v… e… r…  y… o… u…r… e…a…r...s...

It took her a second too long to catch on and she barely managed to rip the earphones off in time to hear a high-pitched squeal scream from the speakers at a volume that would have deafened her if she’d still been wearing them.  Damn it, Yoruichi. What do you think you’re doing?

Fuck it all. She’d known Suì-Fēng was listening the whole time, and if the conversation was any indicator, the old man had known, too.  No wonder she hadn’t been able to hear him earlier.  Poisonous snake in his hole.  

Take lessons from what other one?  Urahara?  No, the old man liked Urahara.  He’d never accuse him of having no honor, no matter how wrong he was about that.  Getaboshi had thrown his honor away the first time he’d turned on the Onmi. Maybe he was he talking about Okura?

It was time to get home and transcribe her notes.  She had more questions than answers and only one place to start.

Fucking Urahara and his one-man war.

***

Mamushi was chuckling under his breath and Yoruichi couldn’t help but smile.   The man was as close to a grandfather as she’d ever had, and while their family wasn’t exactly traditional, there were some bonds that were deeper than blood.

“Did your Little Bee get stung, Yoruichi-chan?” A wrinkled hand waved, and two new cups of tea appeared as if by magic.  Sometimes it was good to be the Kumichō's favorite.

“If I know her it was a close call, but she’s quick on the uptake and even quicker to move, so the harm will not be permanent, and I will probably be forgiven with a few sweet words and a trip to the hot springs she favors.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, the verbal fencing from earlier no longer necessary.

“It is good to have you back, Yoruichi-chan,” her Oji sighed.  He was old and tired, and she wished there was something she could do to help, but she’d left that path long ago. “You bring a sweet breeze to these walls.”

“It is good to see you as well, Oji-san.” She bowed her head to him, and he smiled.  He knew very few ever got that kind of acknowledgement from her, and he was proud enough to revel in it. “I am afraid, though, that my presence is a harbinger of rough weather to come.”

She knew her words weren’t a surprise, but Mamushi’s response surprised her.

“Change is never easy, Yoruichi-chan,” he shook his head, “I only hope that I am strong enough to see the other side of the storm.  The other one, the one that even the Onmi found too devious, is trying to erase the yakuza, but while our face may change, the family is strong.”

Yoruichi looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You expect a frontal assault on the yakuza?”

Mamushi shook his head no.  “Between Okura and his supporters still hiding within the Onmi it will be a political storm large enough to wash away the families, but it will creep upon us like strangling vines, harmless until their roots have taken deep root and killed everything they touch.  We will change or die.”

The old man made a gesture and the men guarding the exits disappeared leaving the two of them alone.

“I truly believe what I said about secrets.  It is better for us to keep our own than to have everyone’s known. With that in mind,” he tilted his head to one side, his bird bright eyes fixed on her, “sometimes secrets are too dangerous to keep.”

He slid a battered penguin USB drive across the table to her and she pocketed it.

“Your friend has proven his loyalty to you once again, Yoruichi-chan,” the dark eyes sparkled a little and once again Yoruichi was happy she’d introduced Kisuke to him so long ago, “please return this to him with my thanks and tell him I hope that it will be useful to him. It is a shame that he wasn’t interested in the family business.  He would have made a fine addition to it.”

It was an old fight that had matured into good-natured teasing over the years, the idea of her marrying Kisuke now too absurd for Mamushi to even playfully suggest, even without considering the difficulty of convincing the blond to work for the Yakuza directly.

“He is more useful on the outside and you know it, Oji-san.” Yoruichi rapped her knuckles on the table loudly and the guards silently reappeared with fresh tea and a tray of tiny matcha-flavored cakes. “You’d have had him murdered in his sleep the first time he questioned your intelligence or defied an order in front of your kobun.  Kisuke hasn’t earned the Director’s hatred by being a good foot-soldier you know.”

Mamushi shrugged one shoulder with an almost careless, yes probably, air.  “Your Director doesn’t know how to manage him.”

Yoruichi couldn’t stop the laughter that burst tinkling from her.  “And you do, Oji-san?”

The old man smiled behind the edge of his cup.  “No, Yoruichi-chan.”  He sipped delicately. “But you do.”

She raised her cup in a salute of graceful defeat.  He wasn’t wrong.

Now, if she could just figure out if this Kurosaki Ichigo had learned how to as well.

***

Kisuke watched the action unfold from his rooftop perch with a half-frown.   Yoruichi had attended her uncle as he’d known she would, and just as predictably, Suì-Fēng had followed, waving her little spy gadgets as if they made her invisible.  Director Kawasaki would be furious with her, caught by no fewer than three yakuza watchmen, Yoruichi, and Kisuke himself.

She was good, but she wasn’t as good as she thought, and if she was the best the Director was going to send after him, the man had gotten criminally complacent.  Perhaps he didn’t really see the threat. He’d never seen Kisuke cornered before.  Never seen him pushed by the threat of losing people he cared about.

Yoruichi was right—there was a storm coming.  It was named Getaboshi.

[aeondeug]

This is more informal rambling which needs to be gathered together better but it has been made so fuck it: I have been thinking about the fact that Soifon states early on when she's introduced about like. How her main focus in life is duty and how that trumps absolutely everything. Including things like Omaeda's life. Though this is interesting when compared to the other things she mentions more frequently than that. Like duty is obviously very important to her and she does likely believe that to be her main focus in life. But there are three other things that really stand out with her in terms of shit she is focused on that she mentions frequently. The one that she mentions the most I think is "survival". Every single time Soifon has appeared "survival" as a concept has come up. She stresses that she is the only one of her siblings to have survived the Onmitsukido examination process during her flashback. In the Arrancar arc she mentions that saving the world is actually just a pretty sounding pretense, and that what she and everyone else here is fighting for is survival. Her own survival she mentions first. Though she then extends that to "comrades, you, and everyone else". Survival also comes up in her big thing for what the philosophy of Second Division is. Namely the "If your comrade is being attacked, take that as an opportunity. If you cannot even stab the enemy in the back, then just let your comrade die," thing. Which always seems very cold and it is. Since it is weighing the success of a mission above the lives of comrades, seemingly. Though the wording of the statement is important, I think. Specifically the "then let them die" bit. It's not treated as "Let your comrade die and complete the mission instead," but instead as "The mission is important and there is a way to ensure that it is completed and that your comrade survives. Make use of every tool you are given and ruthlessly so." The weirdnesses in this I think is tied to like her second big thing. The second big thing being excellence and skill. This comes up literally every fucking time she shows up. She cares a lot about being skilled and seems to value that above people living. Like during her flashback she mentions that while the deaths of her siblings made her "a little sad" that she mostly felt "ashamed at their incompetence." She took her studying and training very seriously as a kid even before meeting Yoruichi the person. As it is noted by her that like her big example for what she wanted to be during school was based off Yoruichi. She was striving, very specifically, for that level of excellence. It's also notable to me that one of the big Happy Memories for her we see is specifically of Yoruichi setting her aside, praising her for her ability, and adding her to her personal guard. And we see it again in her fight with Yoruichi. She specifically goes on and on about how Yoruichi has surely gotten lazy and fallen out of practice. She brags about how she's brought together the Onmitsukido and Second Division in a way Yoruichi did not. As well as about how her shikai has been perfected and how she has found this super cool new technique that she doesn't even have a name for yet. There is a lot of focus placed upon Soifon getting better and Yoruichi being lazy and incompetent. This is also what a good chunk of her losing is focused about. What gets to her isn't just that she doesn't get why Yoruichi left and is still upset by that. She's also just really not ok with the repeated shows that she hasn't actually progressed as much as she thought she did. She asks Yoruichi how she is able to "keep dominating her as she did before" and when she's having her little temper tantrum breakdown the first thing she mentions is "I'm supposed to be better than you". Like before the trust and abandonment issues that is the first thing to come up. So much of her bitching at Omaeda is specifically related to his being incompetent in some fashion. And she's upset with things like her bankai and having to be saved because they're not reaching her standards or excellence. The third thing she seems to actually value very highly is obviously Yoruichi. Since she describes her feelings about her prior to them even speaking being not just admiration but, specifically, worship. And she compares her to a god. All of her life after Yoruichi leaves is entirely focused on becoming better than Yoruichi based off an idealized image of Yoruichi that is a century old at this point. And once she loses to Yoruichi, she goes right back to idolizing and following Yoruichi without question. Like it is notable that Ichigo, who is key to the defeat of Aizen and was important enough to get Commander General Yamamoto of all people to be less of a bitch, is still considered worthless to her unless Yoruichi is around and approving of his existence. Because she is most definitely someone in the know of how Ichigo is of value to Soul Society. She is part of those meetings at captain level. Even then whatever horseshit Yamamoto has to say or whatever anyone else thinks it means very, very little. What actually matters is "Is Ichigo useful to Yoruichi and is Yoruichi around to confirm he is useful?" She also at no point ever seems to be upset about like the idea that she might have had to leave her family and the letter of her duty behind. The actual upset is specifically Yoruichi leaving and not even telling her why. Oh. Right. The survival thing. It is notable that the Espada she fights is Barrigan who has his big thing about how fear of death is absolute and how death by aging is absolute. And that does get to Soifon quite a bit. Enough to get her panicking and telling Omaeda to run away. And in the end it's revealed that Barrigan is the one who is most terrified of death by growing old. But like it is very standout to me that like the one she ends up fighting is the one who is most focused around the fear of death. They're all death centered, but like he is the one who monologues about how all life is scared of dying. And this all tied up together suggests like two things to me. The first being that Soifon's idea of duty and where it lies is not actually focused on like her position in her family, the Gotei 13, etc. She will say that it is, but where duty actually lies for her is Yoruichi above all else. Had Yoruichi told her she was leaving she might bitch because she hates Urahara for being "lazy" (again, she is confirmed with worthiness and competency and he reads as the opposite of both to her) but like she'd probably go along with it if Yoruichi told her to. The other is that Soifon is like deeply fucking terrified of death. She won't say that. She never actually says it from what I can tell. But she does seem to have a greater deal of fear of death than like a good chunk of the cast. Which makes sense given how expendable people in her family are. The other more fancy noble houses don't really seem to have like nearly as many kids as the Feng family does. She has like the most amount of siblings in a noble house that we see and five of them die and that is just kind of treated as a given. Since they're being forced to pass an exam process that is noted as being particularly ruthless at exceptionally young ages. With failure to do so at the appropriate age being met with being tossed out of the family entirely. A final thing about Barrigan is that his specific form of death is one that competence can’t beat. No amount of skill will protect you from aging and dying. You grow old and then you fucking die. Which does seem to throw Soifon off until she stops and realizes that his bullshit can be counteracted via skill and cold hard not giving a fuck. Cut my arm off, Omaeda. DO IT. AND I WILL SHOOT THIS BITCH.

[damsclsofdistrcss]

〔🍭 || Second Betrayal: A Drabble 〕

Word count: 772          Rated: T

His words from all those years ago still rang loud in her ears as they walked forth to ‘join’ the shinigami in this temporary little truce.

“ We’re here to kill that bastard Yhwach, and Haschwalth too. ”

Bazz-B... such a loudmouth. Really, the man should learn to speak for himself, for that might be his plan, but that didn’t mean it was hers. She couldn’t care less about the shinigami, she couldn’t care less about Jugram---- all she wanted... was to speak to her Father. 

But fine, let Bazz-B be their mouth piece. The fool was so stupidly direct in everything he did, it would be hard for the Shinigami to think him of lying. The man was a hot head, a wild card, an arrogant prick--- it was easy to tell that Bazz-B believed every statement to come out of his own mouth to be of the highest truth. For now, that would suit her purposes. 

“ Come with me little one, and I will give you a new home, a new family to call your own--- one that will never abandon you. All I ask for in return, is your loyalty. ”

His words from all those years ago still rang loud in her ears as they walked forth to ‘join’ the shinigami in this temporary little truce. 

Observing all the Shinigami gathered around--- these meager remnants of what was supposed to be the strongest military force of the after-life, she had to restrain herself from laughing--- or maybe crying. Of all the soul reaper in existence, only these were strong enough to endure. Pitiful. Yet... she had to remind herself... she was in no place to judge. Only nine of their strongest remained able to fight, and only five of those nine were meant to be alive still... the realization stung.

She was drawn back to reality as handed an orb by Kisuke Urahara--- hard to believe that man was one of the five special war powers. Glancing around once more at the shinigami, she caught the eye of two of the men under Kenpachi Zaraki and drew closer to Gigi protectively. Truce or not, if the one with eyelashes spoke another word against her friend, she would not hesitate in knocking that hateful bitch of a man to the ground. 

Aside from the men whose squad she’d eaten and the special war powers... the only people she recognized were the clown faced bastard, Kurotsuchi... Yoruichi Shihoin... Renji Abarai, and the Kuchiki siblings... the ones who killed As Nodt... She clenched her jaw. 

As Nodt didn’t deserve that... He was a sweet man... he was the only one of them that was truly unselfishly and unwaveringly devout... he just wished to live and serve their God...

Was that why they were forsaken? For their selfishness?

No... that couldn’t be it. If that were the case, that sneaky cowardly bastard, Askin, would have been left behind as well... 

So why?

Why had they been discarded like so much trash by his majesty...? Why had their savior killed those of them who continued to fight on with auswählen...? Why did he try to kill her? Was Robert right? Were they truly that expendable to his majesty?

Liltotto did not want to believe that... yet... She always knew the punishment for losing their battles would be death... even if they survived the loss... She had felt Cang Du’s and BG9′s spiritual pressure fizzle out as Haschwalth’s blazed on coldly... Her hold on the orb tightened and her jaw clenched... 

Cang Du... her dear adoptive brother... gone... As Nodt... her sweet friend, gone... BG9 gone... Meni... she was likely dead too--- Liltotto having had to knock her unconscious because of fucking Pepe--- and she didn’t even know what happened to Candi!

Rage bubbled in her veins and hatred in her heart as they ascended to the Reio’s palace with the wretched Shinigami. 

This wasn’t how their Holy War was supposed to go.

She had been promised... promised a new world with her new family...

Her heart throbbed painfully with the realization of the lie... of the utter betrayal of it all... The girl took a shaky breath, as if to steady herself. 

She had killed the last father who had betrayed her.

She could do it again....

But first... she had one question she needed to ask...

Why?

Liltotto quietly slipped her hand into Gigi’s as the reached the Wandenreich, hanging back to watch the Shinigami’s quick departure down the main road--- where Lille was sure to be stationed. Fucking idiots. They didn’t even try to ask for help. Whatever. They could all go die for all she cared.

“ Come on... ” Turning towards Bazz-B, Bambi, and Gigi, Liltotto jerked her head towards the Sun Gates. “ Let’s go kill our Father. ”

[darisu-chan]

They Deserved Better (No Ships Edition)

So, it’s been a year since Bleach ended. I remember coming back from work feeling depressed af because of my crappy job, and I got home excited, thinking I was going to see something incredible, but no. Kubo fucking trolled me with his shitty ending. I’m still sorta angry about it. So I decided to make this post about things that should have happened or should’ve been explained, no ships edition.

1. Yhwach VS The Six of Hearts

Okay, I know I’m not the only one who expected more of that final battle. What we got sucked, to put it simply. I had envisioned something more hardcore. What I wanted to see was all of Ichigo’s friends joining him in battle. Chad should’ve been there, along with Orihime and Rukia. Just Renji there with Aizen was terrible. Picture this: Ichigo and co. go follow Yhwach. They have a plan: they will keep attacking and try to find his weak point. Orihime is on the back, protecting them with her shield. Ichigo is in the middle, fighting actively against Yhwach. Rukia, Renji and Chad fight on the sides. However, they keep losing. Aizen helps them like in the manga. They start falling one by one until only Ichigo and Rukia are left. Rukia activates her bankai, and manages to freeze Yhwach for a short period of time. She falls. Yhwach starts unfreezing himself, and then Ishida appears like in the manga. Together they defeat Yhwach. The six are victorious. There’s a heartfelt apology from Ishida, and then everyone saying there’s nothing to forgive and that they’re always gonna be friends. This also helps complete Urahara’s speech of leaving everything to Ichigo and Rukia. Rukia freezing Yhwach gives Ishida enough time to arrive.

2. What’s with the new Soul King?

Aizen would’ve totally tried to become Soul King, but got stopped by Kyouraku. Now, they need a new SK, and I think maybe they’d use Ukitake. He gets to say goodbye to everyone, and instead of dying, he becomes SK. This isn’t ideal, but at least it solves a plot hole (the novels don’t count).

3. Isshin meets Rangiku and Hitsugaya once again.

I feel like they needed closure after the flashback. I think Isshin would���ve been happy to see them again. Also, imagine Hitsugaya’s surprise when he realizes Ichigo is his former captain’s son. I imagine there would be a lot of emotions involved. We needed Isshin telling Hitsugaya he’s proud of him for becoming captain. We needed some Rangiku and Isshin shenanigans as well.

4. Shiba Family Reunion

We missed big time Ichigo talking with Kukkaku and Ganju, as cousins. And Isshin interacting with his niece and nephew. I’d totally laugh at Ganju’s expression when he realizes Ichigo of all people is his cousin. A talk about Kaien would’ve been nice too. Which brings us too...

5. Rukia and Ichigo coming clean.

Rukia told Ichigo that when he was ready, she’d listen to his story. I feel that after everything, Ichigo speaking about his mother to Rukia would’ve given him some closure. It was one of the things which remained opened. With the realization he’s a Shiba, Rukia could’ve talked about Kaien and her role in his death. That would’ve made the two Memories in the Rain arcs come full circle.

6. Ichigo telling his sisters and friends he’s a shinigami.

I think this was long overdue and we never saw this happening or even given mentions of it. Karin totally knew, but it’s one thing finding out, than Ichigo telling her himself. Keigo, Mizuiru and Tatsuki always suspected too, but I think it would’ve been better if Ichigo told them himself as well. 

7. Kon.

Look, I don’t care if we saw Kon briefly at the end. He should’ve been there, just as a nod to the very first arc. Kon was very important in that first arc, more than Chad, Orihime and Ishida. He should’ve appeared again. I don’t care how, but he should’ve been there with Rukia and Ichigo. Where was he?

8. Yoruichi’s, Urahara’s, Grimjow’s, Nel’s, and Kira’s fates.

Kubo should’ve dedicated at least a panel to show what happened to them. I still don’t even know if Kira’s alive. Last time we saw him, he was fighting with a gaping hole in his body. Is he alive? What happened to him? If he died, how did Rangiku, Hisagi, Hinamori and Renji, his closest friends, react to his death? What about Rose?

9. What’s going on in Hueco Mundo?

We needed to see if Harribel was freed from her imprisonment. Also, wouldn’t it have been great if SS and HM came to an understandment? With new leadership from both sides comes new relationships. Ichigo and Nel could’ve been great ambassadors for each side. Things not moving forward didn’t make sense, and left us with a sense of despair. 

10. Hisagi’s Bankai.

We were robbed. Hisagi was robbed. We needed to see it. Hisagi needed to prove himself. Hell, he should’ve rescued his captain and friends. It would’ve been awesome.

11. A Hinamori and Hitsugaya conversation.

After Hitsugaya’s ultimate form, and after everything that happened between them in previous arcs, I feel that they needed to talk. Their relationship was given a lot of importance in SS and even in the Arrancar arc, but we never got closure from them. I’m not speaking in a romantic way, just in general. Hitsugaya even became stronger because of her, as hinted in chapter 423. Also, Yukio hinted at that in his battle against Hitsugaya, but we saw nothing about it again.

12. Whatever happened to Yukio and Rukia.

We saw them briefly, and then nothing else. I know they weren’t very important, but still, they were reintroduced at the end, and then Kubo promptly forgot about them again. He just got me curious to what they are up to these days, along with the surviving fullbringers.

13. Ichigo’s Powers.

There’s something that still isn’t clear. Did Ichigo lose his powers at the end or not? Yhwach took his Hollow and Quincy powers, which essentially made up his Shinigami powers too. So why was he still able to use his powers to defeat Yhwach? After his sword broke again, revealng Zangetsu’s main form, did it keep working? Did he slowly lose his powers again like when he used Mugetsu? The last chapter sort of made me conclude he lost them altogether, and became a normal human. Yet, in the RR novel apparently he went and could see them just fine. So what’s the truth? Did he or didn’t he lose his powers?

14. Ichigo continued being a Shinigami.

This isn’t about ships or anything, this is about Ichigo and his journey, the hero’s journey. By all means, he should’ve stayed as a Shinigami, not only because narrative-wise it makes the most sense, he enjoyed being a Shinigami and was miserable as a normal human in the Fullbring Arc. You cannot end Ichigo with being “happy” as a human, when in the previous arc we knew he was very unhappy and risked it all to become one again. If that had happened in the first few arcs, then maybe I could give you that ending, but this happened in the arc previous to the last one. It doesn’t make sense not having Ichigo still be a Shinigami. It even makes more sense if, after high school or after college, he moved to SS. His family would’ve understood. Ichigo never expressed a desire to be a doctor, not even once. His ending doesn’t add up no matter how you try to justify it.

15. Ishida not becoming a doctor.

Again, no matter how you look at it, Ishida becoming a doctor makes as much sense as Ichigo becoming one. They don’t precisely follow the same patterns as their parents. Ishida didn’t want to be a doctor. His true passion was sewing. He should’ve been a fashion designer or literally anything else but a doctor. Perhaps he wouldn’t want to be a Quincy after the war, I give you that, but becoming a doctor isn’t justified.

16. Ishida having a heart-to-heart with Ryuken.

Ryuken was a very shitty dad towards his son. Now we know he hated Quincies after what happened to his wife, and how his dad died. However, he still needed to apologize to his own son who was driven to do rash actions thanks to Ryuken’s lack of explanations. Even their last interaction was cold. I know Ryuken isn’t like Isshin, who is much warmer, but still, even Byakuya, who was a bastard to Rukia, apologized to her at the end of the SS arc. Ryuken should’ve apologized. Period.

17. Chad’s career.

It’s been said before but I’m going to say it again, Chad should’ve been a professional boxer due to his promise of using his fists to protect, not to get money. He felt pride of his roots because of his abuelo. He should’ve honored that promise, which is an important part of Mexican values, and even Japanese values. What he did isn’t honorable. Besides, he was a gently person through out Bleach. I think Chad was better of as a teacher. I can picture him teaching box at a gym, showing people how to protect themselves. Maybe working with children.

18. Orihime actually having a career. 

Orihime was robbed through out the series. She started as a fun character who happened to like the MC, but was more than that. She was introduced as a quirky but intelligent girl, kind and compassionate. Her powers were never truly developed, and it was her time to shine, she didn’t accomplish anything worthwhile. Lastly, her character was reduced to being “the girl who loves the MC”, and that’s it. Even in the end, her only “price” was marrying Ichigo. There was nothing else for her. What the hell? I know many fans like to quote her “five lifetimes” speech, but you always miss an integral part. She says that if she could live five lifetimes, she’d like to become a teacher, an astronaut, or a baker. How is it she didn’t study any of them? Because of lack of funds, as the novel says? With her grades, she could’ve gotten a scholarship. These are just excuses because maybe WSJ and others don’t want to admit that the only thing Orihime accomplished was marrying Ichigo. Fuck that. She should’ve gotten to study anything she wanted. Hell, Orihime would’ve been a much better doctor than Ichigo and Ishida with her powers. She was tender enough to be a teacher.

19. The SS not rebuilding the Sokyoku.

I don’t know what was going on with Kubo when he wrote that, but it was a massive fuck you yo the SS Arc. It’s like nothing changed at all, which was not the path we had been taking with the manga. Things were already changing in the SS. Even Rukia thought so in the Fullbring Arc, saying it was Ichigo who had changed the SS, he managed to change a system that had existed for thousands of years. Rebuilding the Sokyoku totally symbolizes that things are back to the way they used to be before Bleach started. Ichigo’s journey meant nothing at all. Not only did he stay a normal human, but the system that almost killed Rukia applies today. I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make sense either. Imagine how Rukia feels? She was almost executed! The SS shouldn’t have rebuilt it. If anything, they should have started changing many things, including how the souls at Rukongai are treated. One would think that knowing many of the captains and lieutenants used to live there, they would try to make things better. They were on their way to changing, they shoudln’t have reverted.

20. Kazui shouldn’t have defeated Yhwach.

For me, that was the biggest fuck you in the entire manga. Yhwach was the man that killed Yamamoto, the Captain Commander of the Gotei 13 and the most powerful Shinigami. Yhwach killed many Shinigami. Yhwach consumed most Quincies. Yhwach was the guy who could travel between time and space. You’re telling a little boy defeated him with just one touch? I mean, maybe Yhwach disappeared because Kazui was an anomaly that wasn’t meant to exist. Stil, maybe they should’ve defeated Yhwach in some other way. I don’t know, maybe by using Ishida’s powers which were said to be the only ones that could defeat Yhwach? Why Kazui? No, it should’ve been Ishida in his own arc. Also, it’s a little weird that was the happiest day in Ichigo’s, Ishida’s and Renji’s lives. I can think of many other circumstances that could’ve brought them ultimate happiness but that day.