#HOW SAD AND LOSERISH AND DESPERATE THIS GUY IS!

[ispyspookymansion]

do you listen to the bright sessions. have you listened to the bright sessions. will you listen to the bright sessions. When will you listen to the bright sessions

[seddbois-blog]

F.O.M.O

Where do you meet the love of your life?

School? Workplace? The Cinema? Or perhaps your neighbourhood?

Anywhere I would say. As long as you look great and dare to step out to grab that fish (not literally).

That is for straight boys and girls. Although confidence and the fear of looking like a desperate pervert is pretty much a huge obstacle among Singaporeans.

However for the sad boy it is much, much more difficult. Before you can even brace yourself to talk to the guy you like, you have to first confirm his sexuality. This is why pickups in real life is real tough, unless you have the looks of the top tier of pretty boys.

The apps serve as a safe spot of knowing somebody, but there is always the uncertainty of the person being like what you would expect him to be. Or that if he just spreading his tiny pieces of bread in the ocean. The traditional way of meet and greet, therefore is my favourite.

My squad frequented the Neil road area, because where else can you go to look at cute boys. We did not go because we loved the area, but that was the only pond that is available for fishing. 

Everyone do not really fancy the bars, because all you do is sit and your table and chatter, glance to the tables beside you or just eye at the person entering or leaving. Nobody dares to make a move, even though the sexual tension there is high as hell it can break into an orgy anytime. We are all craving for the eye candy, but also judging whoever that approaches a guy he likes. The price of rejection is simply too high because the scene is really small and gossipy, so if you fail, that it. You will be labelled as a despo.

So what do people do? They stick to their squad and eye at the other squads, giggling about who they like and who they would love to fck or get fcked. And after some time the night ends and everyone leaves, feeling empty.

In this sense we preferred the club. You can always grind at people you like on the pretence of being drunk. But the light was always quite dim so it is difficult to make a good judgement. Maybe thats why sometimes I get grinded. Anyway, the good catches aren’t on the dance floor usually, preferring to hang out at the brighter bar area because they are too ‘up there’ to be touched by the ordinary folks. And soon more people believed that they belonged to this group and you see the area becoming crowded while the dance floor got kinda lame.

Nonetheless, this is the only place that you can meet a person that you fancy in real, and make the move. Apart from the saunas where people just fck and go, there is a possible chance that you could exchange number with a cutie, date, and live happily every after. Yes there is a chance, no matter how small. 

This was my belief and that formed a motivation for me to visit there time and time again, despite the effort, costs and real shagness after that. There were times I got to make out with people, exchange contacts, but never did they last. Because how could anyone find their prince charming, and be attractive to him for him to only notice you in this pool of dicks. Maybe it did for a cute boy, but for sedd boys it never did.

But EFFORT x OPPORTUNITY= SUCESS

I believed that one day, after all these clubs I would find you, my one true love. Or at least a date la. The F.O.M.O formed as a result. Even though I knew it would be a waste of time, I still went.

A few weekends ago Mr T planned for the squad to visit the club again. While they were all excited and hyped up, I considered if I should spend the time and money, when I could watch Netflix with a bag of chips. My faith was shaken.

As the time creeped towards midnight, I was home. On one side of my bedroom was the closet and the other, my laptop. I was torn by one, the belief that this could be the day, and two, that this would be like any other day, a waste of time. At a certain point of time in life, an young adult starts to feel that weekends hiding in his nest is much more enjoyable than out in the streets of possibilites. It is possible that the night could change your life, but it is also possible that you could be disappointed yet again. I felt that this was the point. 

I texted them saying that I did not feel like coming. The F.O.M.O was nudging me. What if my friends find a cute guy tonight? What if I happen to meet a wonderful guy? I was having all these thoughts as I switched on my laptop.

I texted my friend about this and the conclusion came to that it was a loserish thing to do. Have I reached a state where I became jaded and starting to give up? Or this was a sensible thing to do because the other alternative did not work, like ever? Perhaps thinking that the club or bars would be a good place to find love was the stupidest concept ever.

While my friends danced to the music in the club, I turned to some good shows and adult videos and stroked my way into the night. 

I did not ask, or wanted to know what happened that night. Mostly due to F.O.M.O. But deep down I felt that it was the start of a new phase. A phase that I wasn’t sure was smart or just plain, sad.