#HOW DO PPL NOT FEEL THIS WAY?
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Lemon stop feeling like you're bothering ppl by texting first challenge. Smh.
#half of me is like#I'm bothering them#And the other half is like#But if they always have to text first they probably think I don't like talking to them#Which isn't true#But like#HOW DO PPL NOT FEEL THIS WAY?#lol
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like āi'm about to tear this commenter in twainā and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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whatever happens, please donāt break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i donāt think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? iāll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each otherās light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you arenāt ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also iāve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when itās with kunikida whatās up with that š#and sorreyy i know their height difference isnāt THAT big but i didnāt realize until i was halfway into the coloring šš#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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in defense of kabumisuā¦ā¦..
addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ābadā or why their canon relationship ādoesnāt mean anythingā while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have
listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you donāt see it around then god I wish that were me) thereās an age gap!- erm thereās also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh
kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?
kabru isnāt treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and footā¦I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao
he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after heā¦...yāknow. speaking of which-
they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"
you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrunās backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. itās just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen
mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other
i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didnāt recognize him when they talked for the first time)
mithrun is racist!- heās actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didnāt use āoutdated slursā
(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe itās worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)
taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.
that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.
+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.
+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:
also here we have him washing his own body
just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. heās captain for a reason
kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. iām sure heās grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well
he even starts doing āunnecessaryā things for mithrunās comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back
here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):
there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabruā¦)
kabruās relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but itās often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isnāt even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason š„²š„²
kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant
you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters š i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately
also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:
and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more
kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely
haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis š¤Ŗš¤Ŗš¤Ŗ
also donāt somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of donāt make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters
bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:
#dungeon meshi#kabumisu#kabru of utaya#mithrun#dungeon meshi spoilers#i'd rather be able to enjoy their dynamic without feeling like i have to explain it but i keep seeing the same takes i cant do this anym-#i feel like i advocate for kabumisu so much because i see so many people mischaracterizing kabru to make l4bru work like how they want#by saying heās obsessed w laios because he thinks heās hot..but he was curious about his autistic behavior and eventually thought his lack#of malice would make laios the best candidate for becoming dungeon lord to prevent another utaya tragedy. tho eventually he doubts that#not that i care that he's shipped with laius. i just want ppl to see kabru for who he IS bc some still think hes nothing but a shady bicth#i think that's best shown through his dynamic with mithrun (other than his own words of course) so i want ppl to acknowledge it properly#like idk if I can trust popular fan interpretations of the characters or relationships anymore after the shit with toshiro bro šš#not trying to attach kabruās entire being to mithrun or anything either just..saying#hm i feel like the way i worded all of this will make some ppl mad. not my intention but whoops#anyways has anyone drawn ship art of senshi and mithrun yet? anyone?
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āthe black bastard of the wallā moniker is the exact opposite of the āwhite wolfā moniker and this perfectly highlights the irreconcilable differences between book Jon and show Jon
#āwhite wolfā highlights his stark heritage parallels him to robb and tries to align him with perfect moral goodness#āthe black bastard of the wallā is only about jon. it has nothing to do with his stark heritage nor ghost. itās only about jon#itās literally white vs black#stark/winterfell/moral goodness vs bastard (targaryen bastard to be specific)/the wall/moral greyness and the duality of it all#heās already a snow and heās surrounded by white up north with a white direwolf so being the black bastard and dressing all in black#is perfect imagery of the duality theme in jonās storyline#d&d rly wanted their jon to always stand in robbās shadow š#while book jon has an international reputation while still stuck at the wall#my boy is stuck in westerosi alaska and heās got ppl across the sea yapping about him for pastime#thatās fame baby#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#GOT critical#jon snow#book jon snow#and i wanna know what other monikers george plans to give jon#while i wouldnāt be that suprised if the āwhite wolfā did come from george itās the way itās jonās only moniker in GOT that pisses me off#āthe black bastard of the wallā supremacy#the white wolf seems kinda lame in comparison but say jon gets it if his hair turns white like some theorize#if that happens then iāll like it more cause itāll be about jon!#likeā¦ the young wolf is about robb. not grey wind. the starks are compared to wolves and robb is a young king and he just so happens to have#a direwolf. in the show jonās āwhite wolfā moniker is honestly more about ghost than jon! and thatās ughhh#but robb had the wolf moniker first so it feels once again like the showrunners were placing jon in robbās shadow#UGHHH I HATE THE SHOW AND HOW IT RUINED THE WAY SO MANY PPL VIEW THE CHARACTERS#let jon be the black bastard !!#his color was always black and the wall is his !!#put some respect on his name and his badass moniker#i donāt want to see anymore shit about the white wolf cause thatās only d&dās shit invention at this point#valyrianscrolls
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Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog
no need to apologize ayy!
in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a
happy to have yall here w me,
headin into homestuck 2024 :^)
#was debating if sollux truly was lurker type but then i rmbr'd him quietly reading all of karkat's memos for a good laugh HAHAHAHAAH#ask#aleemie#homestuck#karkat vantas#sollux captor#solkat#2024#vioart#but o. regarding the etiquette learned frm other socmed#spamming here is safe+good! it does not harm the op by shadowbanning like instagram#and its not š like twitter where ur likes/following are permanently set to public#ur tumblr experience is within ur control it can be as free/empty/curated as u want!!#((tho ofc i do encourage rbing for ppl who've been hoping to start that habit!!#s'cool to slowly work ur way up from the extra special posts that hv lingered longest in ur heart and quietly build ur cache trove :-)#for example back when i was struggling to rt on a new twt acc i just started setting nonsense criteria for myself LOL#like ābreaking this void is scary holy fuck ok i shall start by rting posts w brownish/reddish clrs bcs its inspo vibes for my artā#and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!!#no more training wheels i may be scared but i love loving more!!!!#same goes for engaging w fics too it takes energy to think of how to comment and thats okā do ur best to explore what works for u!!!!#take screenshots of ur fave paragraphs & start annotating in gallery/notes app if that helps!!!!#also tumblr's customizable queue means u can stack posts and bolt hgehehe. my preferred form of existing on the net))
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Genuinely i wonder how common it is to hallucinate / perceive things oddly / have a notably altered perception of things
#alda rambling#I feel like no one ever talks about it near me so I don't know#If its just that no one else feels it or I'm the only one freaking out about it#Maybe everyone or many ppl feel the way I feel and I'm the only person who can't handle it#Or very few people feel how I feel and I'm repressing it to fit in#Isn't there some kind of group for this. Do I have to join reddit. I don't want to join reddit#I've definitely talked about it before but ahaha. No answers you see. So I continue#(If you have experience with this I'd appreciate a line xo )#I mean. I'm a textbook case of Keeping It To Myself#But also I fear I have main character syndrome#Which makes me think I'm faking everything and I'm just a normal gal who needs attention#But isn't THAT a bit of a mental hypochondriac thing too?#So am I faking for attention or is it real because of a need for attention#Either way I lose lmao so that means it must be real#No but seriously. If you have experience with this I'd love a reach-out it does have me slightly freaked out.
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I think the most beautiful thing about writing of Howl and Sophie's pair is that they are written as people before being written as a pair. Let me explain this very quick.
The thing about book Sophie and Howl is that they are not really fully fitting into any "classic" romantic trope. They are not exactly enemies to lovers, as their angry chats are definitely cannot be considered a life or death battle, they are not rivals to lovers because the only aspect of rivalry between them is the cleaningness of Howl's room. They are not friends to lovers, as their relationship just doesn't fit into "friendship" structure at the very start, nor they are roomates (yes, they live in the same house but that's not the core aspect of their relationships). Of course, you can go on and fit the name of the trope you found specifically for them, but that's the thing.
They simply cannot be processed through a pairings lenses only, in order to understand how they act in relationship you need to analyse them separately, as a characters first of all. Cause that's what the book itself does!
Sure, it doesn't have a whole lot of romance instead, but it gives us time to learn and observe the life of incredibly written, alive characters, understand them as personalities first of all, while slowly immersing the dynamic between two characters (in this case, Howl and Sophie) into work. They are written as personalities, both being fully separated and interviewing, changing eachother's point of view.
It's difficult to find a trope for them. They're are not a trope. They are Howl and Sophie, and that's probably the only way their dynamic can be properly described. Just as real people, they are not really fitting into the boxes of linial character progression, but go way deeper into being complex, filled with little differences and moments only people with their personality can have in romantic (or any different) kind of interaction. They're imperfect, and silly, and multidimensional and the reader knows them well enough to imagine them interacting way beyond of what the book says to them.
They are being people before being a ship, a pair of a trope ā and that's why they work so perfectly charming in the end.
Howl and Sophie are unique in being themselves.
#and that's not that they're the only ones like that#I'm sure there's a lote of well-written paintings like them as well#it's just I feel that people would try to find them some kind of a trope in the end anyways#actually If you let me brag about it a bit#I feel like people nowadays are trying a little to hard to force romance (and other dynamic but romance especially) into some kind#eh..tiny boxes instead of letting characters actually interacting on independent manner?#like there's so many bookshops and book covers that say āenemies to lovers!!ā on it and like#nothing else. that may be a fault of booktock cause so many videos in there are ātop-5 friends to lovers books of the year!!ā#I don't care?? tell me about the characters about how their personalities are connecting them tell me about their story about their quircks#about the parts of them that led to romance being as it is about the parts of them that compliment each other#TELL ME ABOUT THE BOOK AND THEIR PERSONALITIES GODDAMIT#I have nothing against people inventing a way of naming the progression their characters relationship are that's actually pretty handy#I'm just kinda puzzled cause way people are starting to act like having one of this two three maybe five classic tropes is a necessity#I cannot understand why people won't read a book simply because the cover doesn't say enemies to lovers#I cannot understand why ppl are thinking it's enough for characters to be enemies to lovers and nothing else#I was doing tell me abt your ship template with Sophie and I had to add a million of arrows and little texts explaining every specific#AND I LOVED IT SM LIKE THEY ARE SO??! THEMSELVES THEY ARE SO ALONE#you cannot understand how much I love it#(and yes I do categorise my ships sometimes it's just I feel I don't put as much meaning into it as someone else would??)#hmc book#howl's moving castle book#hmc#howell jenkins#sophie hatter#howl x sophie#howl's moving castle#howl pendragon
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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i get it jayvik should've kissed this and that but this is a win specifically for me, aro, #1 believer in "so devoted that the lines blur"
#LIKE. i truly do get it. i promise i do. i 100% promise. but once i wrote a line in an essay about how like#non-aro ppl will never know what it feels like to have representation taken away at every corner. because platonic relationships can b#dismissive or not representative of the relationships that aro ppl have. that profound and large space and spectrum. and bc romantic#relationships do the same in the opposite way. do not put us in boxes. esp those we've opted out of. jayvik do it like me (reject romance)#(and make our own structures of love not based on society or what it wants. this makes logical sense with them litchrally universe melding#too. like. HELLO. THE FOREHEAD TOUCH. THAT IS SO SPECIAL TO ME!!!!)#jayvik#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane s2#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayce arcane#aromantic#arospec
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one thing that's missing from these convos about amc not submitting assad zaman for a golden globes nom that makes it 10x more malicious on amc's part is that a nomination isn't just like oh... ~simple appreciation for an actor's performance. even if there's no win, it results in a profile boost for these actors & them being able to command a higher salary when it comes to future projects. it's something that gets notice on their CV. these studios and networks love being able to market their shit with things like "starring golden globe nominee john doe" or "emmy winner jane doe." the emmys are more prestigious than the golden globes which are more prestigious than the critics choice awards (the one they submitted him for with two other actors lol). actors get nominated and have the opportunity to get attention from social media posts, article mentions, attending the red carpet, having their name announced and a little clip of their acting shown. that's not nothing! attention from possible new fans, publications, execs, peers, producers, directors, fashion houses & other industries which could lead to $$$ and sponsorships. I won't make any presumptions about the cast's finances but I do know amc is probably not paying them their worth, least of all the bangladeshi muslim who barely had any major roles in tv/film prior to the show.
there are fees and costs associated with submitting for awards consideration and FYC ads. the network basically took a look at assad's brown skin and name and said they don't think he's worth the money over the white actor who had less screentime and narrative importance (to the season ig) which is absolutely crazy lmao. it shouldn't be controversial to say that and you can't not discuss this without bringing up sam's name. this has nothing to do with whether he "deserved" to be submitted (and even if I said he doesn't deserve it over assad who's gonna beat my ass?). this white man isn't being persecuted by conversations about blatant racism. but I'd expect nothing less from this fanbase x.
#assad zaman#i don't go here much bc this show's fandom sucks ass lmao#like yeah the show/actors probably aren't getting nominated but on the off chance they do??#amc count your days#them submitting assad for less-known-and-less-expensive-to-campaign-for CCA alongside two white actors means nothing#what it really boils down to is a global flareup of islamophobia like another reblog stated#the worst thing is watching this fandom woobify sam#& twist the words of anyone discussing it to act like shots are being taken at jacob/delainey by every single person#who says assad is experiencing a different kind of racism or any racism at all.#not to say those ppl don't exist and shouldn't be called out#but you can just tell these crusaders are painting everyone with a broad brush to stymie any criticism of amc & sam's submission.#assad experiences a different kind of racism bc he isn't black & doesn't experience the antiblack racism that jacob/delainey do#that's not an opinion or playing oppression olympics it's just a fact.#I have to read the most racist antiblack shit imaginable about jacob and delainey constantly as a bw#only for these people to throw their names around for cover & act like amc is the most moral anti-racist network for submitting them.#meanwhile a random person wouldn't even know how prominent the issue of race is within the show#with the way amc promotes it and actively prevents any discussion of race in interviews and panels.#every day fanart and posts of that decrepit white man plowing armand's delicate ass will do numbers#every day they'll bring up sam gifting assad some cheap suspenders#but crickets about any discussion of racism from those people.#can't even say shit about a white man not being deserving of something the network decided can only go to one person.#white ppl & their feelings have to be centered every fucking time even when unfair treatment is happening to their marginalized coworkers.#and now the prevailing narrative is ppl being mean to their poor meow meow sam :(#which ofc it is lmao
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yoohyunie chibi doodles... trying to learn how to draw himš„ŗā¤ļøāš„
#my s class hunters#ė“ź° ķ¤ģ“ sźøė¤#han yoohyun#han yoojin#the s classes that i raised#tsctir#sctir#ė“ģ¤źø#my art#I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THIS GUYS IM SO SORRY#DEVASTATED... ppl's tags gone... šš#BUT FEAR NOT THE ART IS NOT GONE HERE IT IS AGAIN...#even posting the original res bc i feel bad skdnsk#enjoy the yoohyun gummies in slightly higher res...#ps this is like my 3rd time drawing him ever skfjsk#1st 2 times i didnt rly capture him i think#but doing chibis is a good way to like. practice the hair before attempting on in LD(=non chibi) style#*squishes his face*#i tried to like. reflect my love for him in these chibis#this is how he looks in my eyes#baby who did and can do no wrong
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Taps cheek. Must confess I feel like some people haven't been approaching the fandom the way I have, and I am sorely realizing this now.
Y'all, the VAs here see you. If you are publically posting hate about a characterāespecially in the main tags or in their inboxāthere is a very real chance that the person who plays that character will see you. They are not disconnected entities that hover above everything in their own fandom, they engage in it. They have strong feelings about their own characters too, they made them. And everyone being excessively foul about them and their character is not the kinda takeaway they wanna see!!
So. Perhaps. It would be more constructive for people to either learn to be nicer or to just shut up if I'm being quite honest.
#xero says things#i dont usually talk abt the meta happenings of the show but like#this is rooted in a topic i have a lot of feelings abt. which is how ppl treat artists and how ppl seem meaner than ever#i have always made an active effort whole posting abt these shows to not sound like i am hating on it#even before i know the VAs looked at the fandom!#just bc i figured if someone else saw me talking trash abt their faves it wouldn't ruin their day yk#and thinking about how someone literally went out of their way to send multiple paragraphs of hate directly into kat's inbox is.#more than a little upsetting#these are people. not content machines. just bc their company makes them do daily vids like they are doesn't mean you should roll with that#i feel for kat so much and i genuinely hope things get kinder and easier for her. i don't blame her for doing this at all#sun and moon show#lunar and earth show#tsams#tlaes
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My hare-brained theory is that Sean is going to die due to his heart issues, excessive drinking, etc but thanks to Laszlo now having a grasp on how to reanimate the dead...well, you get the idea
#usually with his experiments they drop them after a couple eps or only bring them back for a ha ha moment later#but his monster has been in every ep I believe??#and even within the most recent ep they showed laszlo continuing! to research anatomy to get an even better understanding#they've talked about how sean is all but brain dead#so if he comes back with some surgical staples + lumbering around + impaired speech#hardly anyone is going to think twice#it also allows laszlo to keep his rotten boy sweet cheese good time boy forevermore#i've seen a few ppl speculate that the reanimation plot line will circle around to memo in some way#but i'm REALLY thinking that if it pans out to anything more than just a fun bit throughout the season#it'll be to save sean#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#laszlo cravensworth#sean rinaldi#i also think nadja should get to turn charmaine <33#but i feel like thats less likely no matter how !!!! it would be#what we do in the shadows#seanzlo#to me <3
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Dungeon lord Chilchuck
What would his wish as a dungeon lord be? What would he be like? Headcanons & speculation post for fun. But Iāll start with analytic lead up because thatās always fun for me, though feel free to skip and skim.
When it comes to what Chilchuckās dungeon lord desires could/would be like we have mainly 3 hints: His nightmare, his succubus and what the winged lion says to him.
Why: ā From what we see nightmares are based on the personās worst fears and insecurities, both Laiosā and Marcilleās nightmare were closely tied to their dungeon lord wishes (Laiosā dream monster being summoned to crush the ghosts of relationships that represented the pressure to fit in and belong, Marcille seeking control over death and aging through magic to avoid loss), the fuel behind their desire/goal if you will. Fear and deep-seated desires are seemingly closely tied, something also supported by Thistle and Mithrunās reigns as dungeon lords (Thistle proving his worth through fulfilling his given duty + protecting his loved ones, being listened to instead of having to listen, Mithrun escaping rigid two-faced elven society and living in a wonderland where he has no enemies and heās loved, free from everyone he knew yet propped up by the person symbolizing his brother being chosen over him, the bastard child).
ā Iāve talked about the significance I assign to the succubi often by now, but rundown: What we see of each character is all very telling if you care to listen, it shows not only someoneās "ideal form" but what they want from it. Izutsumiās is familial, offering a hug and comfort, Marcilleās is romantic with a character she knows and loves, offering a kiss on a hand and a connection regardless of how distant it actually is, and Laiosā is platonic, arguable at first but then Laiosā fear of judgement is placated and he is offered the picture perfect friend group that accepts his interest (if you want my full look at Laiosā succubus go here). They take on the most alluring form, most ideal person of their victim, even uncovering deep subconscious desires, so precisely and effectively to the point it leaves victims physically frozen before the object of their desire. Succubi and the demon are themselves tied in lore and itās easy to see how similar their core skill are. Succubi donāt give a good idea of what a character would wish for on their own but they certainly give hints on what they crave, regardless of how you want to read it.
ā Last bit is self-explanatory. To placate Chilchuck and win his compliance over, the monster that reads your soul like an open book offers to give him something specific. But! Itās also important to remember that the lion isnāt offering to fulfill Chilchuckās dream world wish here, itās a second prize, because his goal with what he promised Laios is that theyād stay in this world, away from everyone and everything else. Chilchuck wants to get away but is kept back, and itās here the lion placates him with "hey itās okay! You canāt do that but I can still give you this! This is enough right? Itāll make everything easier on you".
What each bit says: ā Long version in another post. Tldr: His daughters and family are obviously important to him, and this reinforces that he takes on the role of protector a lot, heās constantly worried for his party membersā lives and implicitly his familyās. Safety and stability, both economical and otherwise, are his core values and goals, and he berates both others and himself if someone fails on those fronts. Here, thereās the fear of not being enough, of not having been able to protect, and of course of loss.
ā Chilās succubi are obviously sexual, and not only that but agressively and straightforwardly so. Itās not like Marcilleās where thereās personality involved, all they do is give him sultry looks and pretty smiles before jumping on him. His succubi arenāt like Izutsumiās, always the same exact person and appearance, so itās not someone but an appealing general idea. The idea of a sexual being he can regard as simply a gorgeous piece of meat and a good time no strings attached. In my interpretation, especially with my reading of Laiosā succubus where even with deep-seated desires negative emotions can be too intense to effectively freeze a victim, I think this doesnāt contradict his character. Relationships have been painful to him in the past, in the succubus scene when his wife gets mentioned his immediate reaction is to yell "Donāt bring her up now!", like with his habit of drinking and as a tallman liking his senses feeling dulled, itās about not having to feel emotions with how difficult they are to deal with sometimes and just feeling good, or at least not having to think, for a while. If a succubus showcases someoneās ideal connection with an ideal person, then Chilchuckās is with a pretty person that doesnāt stir any negative memory or drama, someone low stakes and low maintenance that doesnāt require him to manage or talk out feelings because thereās none involved in the first place.
ā Once more, wife and family are important! He does long for his family, not only his wife but his daughters, and vice versa. This suggests not only that he wants good relationships with them but that he wants them to be with him, a family life. Far from the cut communication they all more of less have during canon, and perhaps far from their life pre-canon when he worked away from home a significant amount of time. Weāve seen recreations of people by the winged lion before with doppelgangers and monsters (naga), and though he claims he can make satisfying imitations, what weāve seen is that they base themselves on the best memories of that person, like with Marcilleās dad, or twist behavior to be more pleasant, like Mithrunās lover (and possibly twist appearances depending on the personās view of them, but thatās Mithrun analysis). The line does suggest Chilchuck would want his family members as they are in reality and not idealized versions, but the circumstances are chaotic and urgent enough in the scene (and again the lion isnāt fulfilling Chilchuckās wish but trying to make him content for Laiosā) that it could just be the winged lion saying what he needs to to convince him the fastest possible, and like we see with Laios that can crumble to give way to deeper or more complex desires.
On top of that we just have general info on Chil. How does Chilchuck deal with his issues? What does he like to do? He likes alcohol and ignoring his problems. We have to remember there is a split between what someone would consciously wish for and what their soul uncontrollably irrationally craves. As always with Dunmeshi, thereās a narrative of irrational deep-seated desires vs active wants, what you crave vs what you strive for, what you dream of vs whatās actually good for you, the animal vs the human inside you, heart vs mind. Chilchuck craving a harem of hot babes in his fantasies but wanting his family life & wife back again is not mutually exclusive. You may crave becoming a monster and tasting what humans are like a little but still want to save the world & your friends more.
Btw can we adress the irony of him terrified of being the last one alive, of being left by his daughters and wife, of having left and coming back home one day to see everything gone or rampaged, yet not caring about dying of liver failure himself, knowing every time that he enters a dungeon thereās a real risk he may not come out. Die somewhere I canāt see you. I prefer leaving you than being left behind. Heās selfish and shortsighted like thatā¦ Chilchuck is selfless in many ways of course, but perhaps also due to his own relationship with his parents, he often undermines the effects he has on others in his relationships, both the good and the bad (he talks himself down about being cowardly and greedy yes, but never hints at his bad health habits, alcoholism and starving himself, may have affected his loved ones, doesnāt question his wife falling into a bad mood the night before she left, and talks about the possibility of dying here and there very casually, though obviously he tries his best to stay alive when it doesnāt concern his health).
Chilchuck king of "Let me just avoid and ignore my problems surely theyāll go away, things might work out and if they donāt well tough luck Iāll survive and I probably deserve it anyways". If I donāt look at it it will dissapear <3 Why care when you can simply not think about it.
You might not understand Mister "my love will stay strong through months of work travel and also 4 years of separation" and Mister "well idk my siblings and me are kinda strangers and my dad is dead but thatās kinda whatever", but typically relationships need some form of maintenance and emotional availabilityā¦
The actual headcanons finally
I kinda have 2 routes in mind for dunlord Chil and both of them are centered on "I care too much, i wish things were easy", so first is a lot like his succubi, itās full on indulging in his guilty pleasures like alcohol and bodies and itās to keep him in a constant state of thrill and euphoria and distracted, unfeeling about stuff that really matters. "Nothing matters except that Iām enjoying the moment!" vibe. He gets to live a life worthy of Dionysus, with alcohol and women and debauchery and likeā never having to think again, never having to feel anything but pleasure again, never have to feel guilty or shitty or angry or sad. He has a harem and gets everything on a silver platter.
Breaking news demon magic-induced rush of euphoria and power still not enough to cure this man of his self-hatred nor his capacity for thought!! But in his case a state of euphoria is what he seeks I think, to kinda mask or replace the Everything Else.
The other is what I think closer to what canon suggests, with what WL implied too with "Iāll make you a new wife and kids like the originals!!Ā š", itās a (spoilers) Wandavision type thing where itās a slice of life where heās never at work and always at home and the family eats lunches at the dinner table together and everything and everyone at any moment is just. Happy. No issues. It was all a dream, this is real and everything is fine and your family is perfect and happy. I like to think the timeline would be wonky, his daughters would fluctuate in age, but heād want to be there for what he missed, would want them to still rely on him and look up to him like when they were young, would like to forget that theyāre now independent adults and the distance that grew between Chilchuck and his siblings is happening between them as well. Chil would want doppelgangers of his family imo, at its core just a general wish for a peaceful happy family life with no drama, no need to compromise, a little paradise of unconditional love and no consequences. Itās for sure straightforward, but Chilchuck is a man with straightforward desiresā¦
But see Chilchuck is a greedy man, and he wants it both ways without having to sacrifice anything or expanding any efforts himself. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think playing with these two opposite directions and mixing and matching is most fun. Him leading a life where he indulges in all his worst habits while still having everything he wantsā¦ Him getting to have BOTH his wife and any woman he can imagine up, his life like two sides of a coin he can flip at any moment where heās partying then heās at home enjoying the quiet and his toddler daughters playing with toys on the carpet. Christ when you remember itās all an illusion thatās terrifying, the doppelgangers and succubi from the winged lion playing chilchuck ping pong.
A safe little haven both security-stability wise and emotionally. Gets to have both the relaxing and the thrilling in any dose he wants, mixed or separatedly. What Iād argue he had pre-canon too: Can live it up in taverns away from home, stays away from home for long periods of time, and can come back to home aka the symbol of relaxation and safety whenever he decides to. Something he can leave and come back to at will, an anchor he can trust in (until itās taken from him and his wife leaves. Or in his worse nightmare people rush in and kill his daughters). The ideal of a house and family to a working man, perhapsā¦
I think itās fun to think on wether or not these desires would be interesting at all to the winged lionā¦ In canon he seeks out "rare/complex desires", common simple things like I imagine riches, sex, substances and pleasure would be are boring to him, heās eaten those so many times already. So perhaps he wouldnāt last long as a dunlord, the WL would want to eat him fully quick, canāt keep him interested or waiting long for a meager meal, too much effort raising the cattle and too low quality meat. By making it more twisted or layered Chilās desire would become more desirable to the demon, itās part of whatās fun with the third option to me. But whatever. Has he ever eaten a guy with this much repression and self-sabotage... Like trying to get the meat out of a walnut, enrichmentā¦
Other dunlord Chil takes Iāve seen that are fun and good:
@feelo-fick and @pluvio-floret have a dunlord Chilchuck AU project dubbed "tragedy AU" where Chilchuck is said to be "on vacation", in a weird delirious state, only half-there half of the timeā¦ From which he doesnāt want to wake up </3 Quoting Feelo, this is why the vacation thing is only a half-joke cause he is 1) letting all his responsibilities go 2) indulging in himself and 3) "spending time with his family" <- lie but you get what i mean. Additional comments that have me vigorously nodding: because changing is hard why cant things just be okay right now without the effort !!! Life is hard heās so so tired he just wants to feel goodā¦ he just wants life to feel nice and easy for a sec while he can learn to breathe again and lose the stress and trauma heās accumulatedā¦ā¦.. spoiler alert yes !!! in fact a depressed person can suck themselves into their job and lock out the world who wouldve thought !!!
And then Cabinette I know posted about his dunlord take once but I donāt have the link, in which Chil has a lot of nosebleeds because of mana overload which is fun and interesting to think about imo~
In dunmeshi, where characters get underground pockets of the world as their playground disconnected from everything outside and the rest of the world, itās important to remember to face reality even if it has conflict and people with different views and stances from you, itās something Chilchuck and Marcille and everyone needed to learn, and the thing with a dungeon lord AU is that you imagine a timeline where he fails to <3
A timeline where his dungeon lord wish is to desire nothing bc hope and want has only ever hurt him would also go so hard. Very universal thing though I suppose.
ā¦ And this is why a Chilchuck-centric Coraline AU is really really interesting and fitting and topicalā Ok thatāll go in a separate reblog/post at @Fumiku I need to let this end
#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#Analysis#dungeon lord chilchuck#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Wish we could put just parts of a post under a āclick to read moreā box that scrolls open and closes neatly#Bc 3/4th of the post is just extra explanation for ppl who donāt See The Vision already but like thatās not what i wanted most of the post#to be really gdbdg#Headcanons#You could say the family also represents something heās built up with how own hands. If he has self-worth issues and thinks heās a screw-up#in the virtue/honor and likability department especiallyā his family destroyed/killed also represents the one biggest good thing#heās done/created crumbling also. Like his wife leaving without a word while he trusted their relationship this can hugely impact#oneās sense of identity and self-worth and what youāre living life for. In his case itās not too surprising he turned to simple#physical pleasures for comfort and enjoyment. Like with tasting good food having moments feeling good keeps you going#He always focuses on the bad relationships bring and never the good aghhhh#The reverse of Marcille who often idealizes. They both ignore problems in their relationships in opposite ways.#What do you mean why do i bring up marcille. Okay yes thisāll get a marchil Fumiku short brainstorm reblog as well#Chilchuck is soā¦ curse of having feelings and not realizing the extent of them. Underestimating how much you care#Itās either āiām fine who caresā or falling into the pits of despair and blaming himself n spilling his whole bag no inbetween#Dunmeshi succubus#Fumi rambles#boy thatās what this boils down to i suppose#Family angst āHey I came back home from work and iām tired so donāt talk to me about problems or anything k? Iām here to relax smh damnā#< unwilling to admit he has issues he should be working on or that some things are affecting others negatively#Chil you are so enneagram 6w7 <3
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