#HOW DO I STOP THIS BEFORE ITS TO LATE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

u-and-m3 · 5 months

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im starting to genuinely get a hyperfixation on lobotomys guys people help

#WHY LOBOTOMYS OF ALL THINGS #HOW DO I STOP THIS BEFORE ITS TO LATE #yall if you know any info on lobotomys plz tell me /gen

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belleandsaintsebastian · 4 months

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most of the time i really don't care but. today i'm feeling a bit sad that i don't think i'll ever be able to tell my dad i'm queer. and i know it's literally so stupid to think about and its not that bad or anything but just. gahhh idk. i'm just a bit angry and sad bc i feel like it would change everything + i'd just let him down. GAHHHHH :) okay anyways back to the main program....

#actually going 2 overshare a little bit more sorry.....#(<- tumblr user ass thing to say..)#okay like. last year when i was just abt to move out for uni for the first time ever. he wouldnt stop going on abt #how i needed to shave my legs. like he wouldnt stop he kept going on abt how everyone would laugh at me + how i needed to do it #implied that it grossed him out or smth. like he tried to bribe #me??? to shave my legs at one point???? which was. i mean it was kind of funny + also i was so devastated hahaha #like top ten things 2 tell your eighteen year old daughter the month before shes about to leave home...#can't WAIT until i enter my late 20s and he inevitably starts asking me why i dont have a boyfriend etc etc :)))#but yeah it's so like. i love him and i wish i could tell him all abt me #and it makes me really sad that i cant do that anymore. like i used to tell him everything. idk its all different now :(#anyways oopsies so sorry for the oversharing dump umm hello i love u + youve done more for me than youll ever know seriously xx

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simmingonthelow · 6 months

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🎊Happy Holi🎊

#sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 gameplay #oc:wahidah #pagwah #holi #happyholi #Its a late Holi post but.....why not #took forever to do this cause of set backs but its done! yaaayy!#Wahidah taking a walk to dry off before she goes home #she was defo contemplating going another round at her friend's house ooooorr going for a swim in the river to #first pic was her think about how much abir got into her mouth while playing.....she had to stop and wash her mouth out #I didn't play pagwah this year again and its kinda sad 😭😭😭😭.....its mostly water play cause i'm allergic to the abir

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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#yeah so the problem is that ... i fuck things up :(((#i know that i mattered to him i felt that he cared and that i was important #like honestly it's one of the few times i've ever felt it #but then comes the fucking bpd and avpd insecurity #like if i just one time perceive that oh im annoying #then i just pull back and think am i crazy why could anyone not think im annoying #even if i got reassurance multiple times i was like still .. it was still so hard for me #and like with everything i write on here it makes it seem like i dont care or dont value etc etc #also like :(( im not too fragile to hear abt problems or troubles. i make it seem like its that way #but i WANT to be here and listen to the person i care for. it's not too much for me and idk with how emotionally intense i am #idk how to show that... and im too scared of expressing positive emotions bc i fear being ridiculed by the universe #and it all gets so wrong bc he never made me feel ashamed or stupid or too much #he made me feel the opposite!!!! it was me who made it seem like i didnt care it was me who pulled back #it's so sad and frustrating bc the entire time i kept thinking to myself dont ruin this dont ruin this #be aware of the avpd symptoms and stop them pls dont ruin this #and i tried but in hindsight and with more context clues from the other perspective..#i realized that what i felt wasnt shown... :(((#so i am upset bc im not 'losing' someone (romantically) who doesnt value or care for me #it's someone who i did matter to who did care for me and want me #who i was too scared too fearful to be brave and show him and let him #god.. i hate myself so much!!!#and i do hate myself bc of this. bc it has happened before #it happened now with the most important person to me #and it will happen again #and idk.. bc my brain is also so stupid bc #NOW i know. now im not scared anymore with that person. but it's too late :c #(like i thought i shouldve given space but then i get anxious and i pull away too much and idk how to find the balance)

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piplupod · 2 months

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WIBTA if I said, word for word, "please do not comment on my body or the food that I am eating, it makes me very uncomfortable as someone with an eating disorder" when anyone makes any sort of remark on my metabolism, the health factor of my food, the calories I am taking in, or how skinny I am, even if their remark was meant in a positive way?

this is a genuine question ! i am just very tired of putting up with comments on all of this even if people mean it to be complimentary. hearing "wow you're lucky you have a fast metabolism" when I eat a cookie is actually really fucking upsetting for me for various reasons that I don't want to go into.

so I am trying to come up with a firm painfully clear response that isn't mean but will make people back the fuck off and hopefully think twice about commenting on stuff to me in the future. but I worry I'm going to become a jerk that nobody wants to be around :')

#i just need people to stop making remarks on other ppls bodies either directly or indirectly. it is so weird to me. why do they do that!#also on the food ppl are eating. mostly the negatives on the food. ''if u dont have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all!''#lets all go back to kindergarten and relearn manners please!#i just feel like im getting too uptight about this but i am genuinely struggling really badly with ED stuff lately #stuff that i never struggled with before fsdjkl its gotten ... much worse. mainly bc of my mother and the shit she says #but also bc it is summer so there is pressure to wear stuff i dont personally like wearing around others for a few reasons!#i dont want to be a lemonhead about all this stuff but i am just fsdfjkl starting to not want to leave the house bc of it #idk how to make peace w it bc i know if i just say the right words then they'll shut up about food and body image stuff to me #but i dont know what those words would be #and i feel like this reply i've come up with might be good but it also feels really mean dhsjkl i feel like im a huge jerk if i say this #but genuinely i just. really want ppl to shut uppp about my food and body. please. it shouldnt be so difficult to avoid it !!!#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #ed tw

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ducktollers · 5 months

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got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

#delete later #sortof bc its basically already mine since my mom works there and said the current assistant sucks so bad theyll take Anyone with a degree #and theyre desperate #and its super casual and low intensity but still stressed tf out #bc i havent done anything non routine since december and my anxiety has gotten soooo bad and im soooo bad at talking to people #and ik the antidote is doing things again which is why am i doing this but. scary #and time is moving too fast and im so lost and i hate my stupid fuckass grocery store job and idk what to dew w my life rn #cannot stop reminiscing abt the life unlived and the time lost and while i do that i am not living anf losing time #😃😃😃😃😃😃#cannot stop thinking abt how my school life is simply over and i missed it i wasted it its Over 😀 no more chances #didnt make ONE friend in 5 years of university didnt join anything didnt do anything except mentally deteriorate #uni is supposed to be the source of so much life and experience. and yooo i missed it 😂yooooo omg its too late for me 😂😂😂#i rememebr before crossing the stage at high school graduation i was like. rn im in the part of my life before graduation #and in a minute suddenly im gonna be in the after #and then i realized recently. im in The After of university. the moment passed and i missed it #there is no more chances theres no more ‘next semester ill make friends’ theres no more Anything it is Over #time keeps going so fast and yallll i cant go back lol 😂😂😂 brooo wtf nobody told me u can never go back 😂#dawg i havent felt alive even once since leaving high school 😂 yo i peaked at age 17 😂 yo jm about to turn 23 and my last memory is being 19 #yooooo whered the time go 😂😂😂😂 brooo where does it keep going lol come back wait up im runnin out of time 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#x

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asleepinawell · 2 years

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and I have seen more wipes there than all the other alliance raids combined 🙃

#except wod because why would we ever get the interesting one #ffxiv #ffxivmp #mp #I posted this before with another meme but it deserves its own post #and I changed it from syrcus to crystal because all I get lately is loa #but good lord how do experienced players still think that rushing the atmos lanes will work #like that is a wipe mechanic #you cannot greed the atmos lanes if everyone gets dumped in A #YOU ARE MAKING THIS TAKE TWICE AS LONG YOU IDIOT #that and behemoth are the two biggest wipes #everyone ignores the iron giants and then they cleave the boulders and the players #just do the basic mechanics and these things go so fast!!!!#and stop ilvl cheesing or I will beat you with a waffle iron #gOD #oh and the bone dragon #'we can ignore the adds the healers will just have to deal' says someone who will shortly be dead #when half the raid dies because the adds aggro on the healers and then everyone takes massive group damage you are slowing it down #I really do not understand what part of 'doing basically one mechanic per fight will make things go faster' is hard to understand #also healers at 50 don't have an those cool abilities they have at 90 to keep you dumb ass alive

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lunar-fey · 2 months

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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday

#the fey speaks #which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post #like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work #so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful #i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha #i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it #would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself #but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it #like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have #no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk #and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away #and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral #so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back #its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )

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thecherrygod · 4 months

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gibbearish · 5 months

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are we really back to "oh you support (blank)? name ten people who (do/are) that right now or else youre lying for allyship points and everything you have to say should be disregarded". i thought we left that back in like. 2012 misogynist nerdbro culture

#i have seen it on two entirely separate topics lately and its like. hello?????#'if you cant name 10 trans authors off the top of your head you shouldnt be talking about trans issues full stop.#i dont think thats an unreasonable expectation for anyone wanting to engage in rational discourse' how about we all go outside #because like yeah i couldnt name you too many trans authors but given my transgenderismness i think i do in #fact still deserve a seat at the table. and i dont think there should be a prerequisite academic education level to be allowed to talk.#'but you could find them for free-' yes‚ you can‚ but people should still be allowed to a) choose what they read based #off of what interests them and not mildly-to-extremely dense nonfiction writing and still Talk About Their Own Lives And Have #Opinions #shockingly not reading a lot of one specific type of author doesnt prevent a person from having reasonable and valuable opinions #if youre not capable of parsing someones argument because theyre not well-read enough then that just imo means you dont actually understand #the things youve read to be able to give them a synopsis #this isnt school. we're not being graded. there is no required reading and you are perfectly capable of giving people an #explanation on your stances if theyre unfamiliar with them #i had a b) but i dont remember what it was‚ i think it probably was part of what i covered there that i thought was a separate thought #but yeah just like. idk you can just say 'hey i would really recommend reading xyz but to summarize‚ (thing that disproves them)'#it is not . difficult to either Explain yourself or‚ if that is not possible‚ Not be condescending to the person youre not willing to teach #for not knowing #ill stop there bc ive already done that ramble before but. yes #origibberish #edit: ok upon reread i got turned around and switched from addressing the less educated one conveying their arguments #to the more well read one #bc that was the b is i was gonna talk about both #yall get what i mean though just like. split it in half and flip it turnways

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munch-mumbles · 6 months

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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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damn. i really thought i already had the "youre probably never going to see any of your uni friends again after you move out this really and truly is the end of the most vibrant and healthy irl social life youve ever had. and likely will ever have again" breakdown done and shelved but i spent today hanging out with a few friends from my course who are leaving this week to say goodbye and i dont. know how to process it completely. im trying to make the most of everything while im still here but every interaction feels so bittersweet it's genuinely gnawing at me

#vent/#this is probably not the last time i will have this crisis either. right up til graduation. itll keep happening over and over again #i had a miserable social record all through secondary school im not exaggerating when i say university literally taught me how to #make friends and open up to people in places that werent the internet (or having it pried out of me by more enthusiastic people)#and now its like. ah. right. thats over. where do i go from here.#late june through early august is gonna be completely fine i just need to not lose my mind until then #but after that.. well i am not having a great time thinking about it #living on my own seems miserable but i dont know anyone in This country well enough to make roommate plans #and. well i will stop here before i talk myself into a spiral but man. this is why my social energy is still through the floor #i love my online friends to death but the past few years have taught me everything is so much better with a varied diet as it were #i will not Die if i have to go back to 24/7 discord recluse im very grateful to have good friends in my puter #but god. i will miss Seeing people. very very badly #im sorry i know not responding to messages seems counterproductive rn but. idk i have a lot of wires crossed;;#ill work it out eventually #im the cheetah threatening to go insane in captivity i need someone to put one of those dogs in my enclosure/j

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hearties-circus · 7 months

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↖️ *guy that is having such a normal one right now* *guy that totally isn't fucking losing it* *guy that surely isn't about to explode into a million pieces with no idea how to put itself back together this time*

#gamer txt.#i cant i can do this i xant its too hard its too hard #zo yous know that post i made a bit ago? how o said i was fuvking desperate and hanging on by a thread?#well unsurprisingly as it turns out the sevonf ppl extended help i closed mysf back off and started lying again. who couldve daw that coming #ive vroken down plenty of times over the years but ibe always got back up ive bever had a 'i cant do it this time' moment #well i mean. until now #i just cant i cant do it it all hurts so much i cant enjoy anything i dread everutbing theres nothing theres fucking nkthing #it hurts all the time and i xant do anything about oy because no one in this house gives a shit #and i ca t do anything becayse eberyone online is do easy to ignore so easy to lie to #ive never veen this bad before ibe never dreaded life like this #i really dony know if i can xome back fron this #ya know on the 24th i would've been 3 years clean. i relapsed about a 2 months ago i wanna say? im really close to doing ot again #but i dont know if i wkuld stop. nor when i isuallu do anyeay i think i would keep going past what i know i could take #it would be stupid #no one gere would nhtive anything wrong until ot was too late id hust be making the worst mistake of my life #but despiye that. despite everything its so tempting. just for the chance that someone might notice #that someone might actuallu acknowledge theres sometjing wrong with and gove a fuck about me #i know this fanily. i know how they work. i know how they treated my xousin the last 2 tjmes she tried to off herself #but one of them would care right sureky? even just kne #i need someone yo see me to actually fucking see me and not all the walls ibe set up #someone to recognise that im in no state to take care of myself and never has been #something that will fight me when i obviously lie #but theres no way for me to get that #im not stupid enough to risk myself and um too much of a coward to call out in any other way #what the duck an i meant to do?#im a wreck thats too scared to tell anyone #ive been theoen into the middle of the ocean and the water is the strongest ots ever been #and there is the vague imsge of a life boat off in the distance but its too far and ny arm hurt too much to swim #even if i did make my arms hurt too much to climb aboard and theres no one on it to help me up either #so i just have to float here because at least drowning is less shameful than yaving made it to safety and been too weak to grasp it

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oflgtfol · 7 months

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the human cosmos was such a good book in terms of like, talking about how people have studied astronomy across human history, the interdisciplinary nature of both ancient astronomy as well as the study of ancient astronomy, and how it has all culminated into the modern state of the field. but then the final chapter starts talking about how like, The Mind is a fucking fundamental piece of the fabric of the universe akin to matter, or fucking something along those lines, and it's like girl what in the god damn are you talking about

#as much as this book pissed me off . it does live rent free in my head #her points about the disconnect that advancing technology causes between scientists and their actual subject of study #is SUCH a compelling thought and its something thats underlying my whole drive lately to like #actually observe the night sky and rediscover the old observational techniques but for myself and my own intuition #and her discussion of non western astronomy especially was so compelling entirely because i just. like. NEVER see non western #astronomy discussed and like i've tried to do research into it before but whenever i try to look at like. oh. japanese astro or something #i just get the same basic ass shit that offers literally no new information and/or seems to be oversimplifying to the point of inaccuracy #and/or even fucking orientalism #so to read an actual in depth discussion about polynesian astronomy and how their approach was so fundamentally #different from western european astronomy is just so. FASCINATING #its not only about the cultural sociological differences since yknow. literally across the world from each other #but also the geographical physical differences. since theyre halfway across the world from each other!#like all of northern hemisphere astronomy is based around polaris because we have an actual pole star #but the southern hemisphere does not have a pole star and so any southern astronomy cannot use the same techniques that #northern astronomy does since they have no pole star to center their measurements off of #and so that leads to just an entirely new way of observing the night sky based on the horizon instead of the pole #and its jsut like. THATS FASCINATING. ITS CRAZY !!!! i just never even thought of that before but it seems so obvious once pointed out #CANNOT stop thinking about it #AND THEN SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THIS WACK MIND POWER PSEUDOSCIENCE SHIT? LIKE GIRL?????????????#brot posts #astro posting #anyway i do really need to do more reading about nonwestern observational techniques #if i ever see literally any discussion of nonwestern astronomy its always just the mythology #and even then its only like 2 sentences #like yknow ofc i learned about polynesian wayfaring and sailing techniques but i never learned the actual /how/ of it all #like /how/ did they navigate the ocean open via the stars. i know they did it but finally learning /how/ is like holy shitttt

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violentviolette · 7 months

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really need to work on slowing myself down and not speaking so impulsively so i stop cutting ppl off or talking over ppl cause i feel like its getting worse and i Really Really do not wanna be that person who just bulldozes a conversation constantly

the theme this year really and truly is me working on self discipline

#jack.speaks #im at the point where i know and can realize im doing it as its happening #but i dont actually know how to stop doing it #think i just gotta work on patience and curbing the impulsive urge to get a thought out as soon as i have it #might try a 3 second rule #where i have to wait at least 3 seconds after having a thought before i say it #and have to wait 3 seconds after someone stops talking before i start #just to retrain my brain to go slower #feels like lately my brain is moving so fast when other ppl are talking that its almost like im rushing thru the conversation #gotta slow down

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knightzp · 8 months

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finished the cozmez memory novel

#this was too much #WHAT DO YOU MEAN NAYUTAS METAL EROSION HAPPENED BC HE ASKED FOR MORE MONEY = MORE EXPERIMENTS #JUST BC HE WANTED THE MONEY TO BUY KANATA A CHRISTMAS GIFT AND GIVE IT TO HIM LIKE SANTA #BC KANATA STILL BELIEVES IN SANTA AND NAYUTA WANTED TO MAKE HIM HAPPY BC SANTA HAD NEVER VISITED THEM BEFORE #NAYUTA NOOOOOOOOOO #his intentions were so pure and it was actually really cute seeing him witnessing kanatas reaction to the present and how #he could barely stop himself from smiling #BUT NOT AT THE COST OF YOUR OWN LIFE YOU STUPID IDIOT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#(also the whole kanata believing in santa thing is so absolutely funny and cute i would have never expected it from him alfjskdjd)#and then the exact moment when nayuta realizes his actions arent really helping anyone at all but the contrary #when he hears shiki screaming his name and sees the pained expression on his face!!!!!!!#like how in just one instant he gets all that fear and regret suddenly only when its already too late and he prays for another chance......#and thank GOD he got it #but AAAGHYGGGGGGGGGGG CRYING FOREVER

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