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hannahbarberra162 · 2 days ago

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Emperor's Prize, Part 6 (Yan Alpha!Shanks x Omega!Reader)

18+ MDNI | On Ao3

All the other chapters

TW: Violence towards the end.

Despite a tightening in your chest at the idea of being on a strange island, you couldn’t resist the excitement that bubbled up in you at the concept of being on solid ground again. You had assumed Shanks would flake on his promise to you once you came back to your senses and you searched his face for any signs of this being a trick.. You were fairly sure that it wasn’t a test but prior experience had made you wary of accepting too readily. Shanks waited for you to speak with soft eyes as he held your hands in his. The two of you were standing in his cabin, the door open to air out the scent of sweat and heat as the ship bobbed gently in the water in the rays of the morning sun.

“So what about it, Little Omega? You want to check out the island? I’m not sure what’s around, we’ve never docked here before -”

“We have, a few times actually,” Benn called from out on the deck as he walked past the open door to the cabin, his ever-present cigarette dangling from his lips.

“We have docked here, a few times actually,” Shanks corrected himself with a bright smile, his red hair falling into his face in an almost endearing way. You gave a small smile back at his foolishness and his eyes shone brighter at the sight.

“You know, that’s the first time you’ve smiled at me outside of heat,” he said as he ran a thumb over the back of your hand. You ducked your head as your cheeks heated at being called out so bluntly. But it also made you wonder what he meant by outside of heat. Had you been so happy during your fucked out phase that you smiled frequently? You considered questioning him on it but you had learned your place on Kid’s ship. You answered his question instead as you did your best to push your concerns away.

“Yes, please, I’d like to visit the island,” you stated and hoped your tone was deferential enough for him not to take it as sass.

“Lovely! There’s nothing more fun than a day trip. We’ll get food on the island too, I’ll go grab some cash from Benn’s cabin. Let’s get moving,” he said as he turned and pulled you along behind him. You kept your eyes on the floor while you followed along meekly, too embarrassed to make eye contact with the crew on deck. After your heat abated, some of the crew had come back to the ship to sleep or gather belongings. Of course, they knew what transpired, it wasn’t like it was a secret, but it still made you feel self conscious to know they’d all been kicked off the ship because you had copious amounts of sex with their Captain. It seemed like Shanks did not have any of the same lingering shame that you did and carried himself as he always did. He was even wearing his Emperor’s cloak that you had in your nest through your heat, though he did wash it thankfully. Shanks pulled you to the middle of the deck while he continued on the way to Benn’s cabin.

“Stay right there, I’ll be back in a moment. Unless Benn changed the locks to his safe again, then it’ll take me a few minutes to pick them,” he called out as he left you standing near the main mast. Left on your own for the first time in days, you shifted your weight from foot to foot and looked down at your feet. You were still wearing Shanks’s far too large clothes rolled up at the wrists and ankles along with being barefooted. Luckily the fair weather made it easy to tolerate the breezy clothing until Shanks purchased proper clothing for you. You stilled when you heard footsteps approaching you and a familiar pair of shoes made their appearance in your field of sight.

“Hiya,” Hongo said as he stopped in front of you. You weren’t sure how much Shanks wanted you to engage with his crew but, he had allowed Hongo near you in the past.

“Hi,” you rasped quietly with your eyes still trained on his boots, waiting for the Beta to tell you what he wanted.

“Look up please,” Hongo requested in a clinical tone. You immediately raised your head but were careful to avoid eye contact. You flinched back when he reached for you, old memories rising to the surface as your back hit the mast behind you.

“It’s alright, I just need to do a quick assessment. Quite the heat, no?” he said conversationally as you felt a familiar warmth crawl across your face. You gave a small nod in response as he tilted your head to look at the old bite. “Looks better, maybe healed faster during a heat with a new Alpha. I read that can happen sometimes, kind of interesting,” he hummed to himself while he ran a finger over the stitches. You heard rumbling in the background that pulled a laugh from Hongo.

“ ‘S alright Cap. Just checking her old bite before your date,” Hongo said before he removed his fingers from your skin. A familiar scent wafted to your nose as Shanks’s arm came to rest on your shoulders. You could still hear the rumbling from his chest but it subsided as his fingers drummed on the column of your neck, pulling you closer to Shanks’s chest. You peeked up at the large Alpha and felt your skin start to crawl at the sight of Shanks’s smile. It wasn’t the bright one that he had given you before that had the skin by his eyes crinkling, his stiff jaw and hard eyes making his expression look almost feral. You fought the urge to cower but Hongo just laughed again as your anxiety wound tighter.

It didn’t feel like the time to ask if this was a date or what your relationship with Shanks actually was. The questions concerning your next move or whether you would stay were something you’d been turning over in your mind since your heat started to wane. Yes, the Emperor had saved you from Kid and taken you from the ship before sinking it. He’d also helped you physically and guided you through your first heat, but you weren’t sure what that meant for the future. He hadn’t given you a claiming bite so you were technically still free. Shanks had also mentioned that you couldn’t reintegrate into society but, maybe he would be open to setting you free if you negotiated some kind of quid pro quo. You couldn’t be completely alone again but maybe there was some kind of alternative to being with Shanks on the seas. You didn’t hate Shanks, but you didn’t love him either. You’d gone unwillingly from one Alpha to another and you wanted to regain some of your independence that you’d worked so long to maintain.

“Gotta work on that jealousy, ‘s not gonna help you,” Hongo teased Shanks while taking another step back. Shanks huffed but the tension between the men eased as you snapped back to attention. Shanks’ arm tightened around you and he kissed the top of your head for good measure before you both started walking towards the dinghy that would take you to shore.

A short boat ride and walk later, you were strolling down the main boardwalk of the island with your hand still tucked within Shanks’s larger one. He hadn’t let it go and you hadn’t pulled it away, the familiar weight and warmth bringing you comfort. The marketplace was charming but it was overwhelming to be on land near so many strangers after months of being at sea with only a small group of people. On top of the bustle of the crowd, everything seemed to be intent on assaulting your senses as the smells and sounds of the market were more vivid than you remembered. You’d passed the trinket section before you neared the food stalls near the beach but everything was taking much longer than you’d expected. The villagers and vendors were excited to see the Emperor and often stopped him for small talk while you stood there silently.

Shanks, thankfully, never made you speak nor did he try to show you off. When people tried to address you or offer you some of their wares, Shanks allowed you to hide behind him like the coward you felt yourself to be. You felt the back of your neck prickle like someone was watching you and that every movement was being tracked. You weren’t able to catch anyone in the act but it felt like eyes were always on you, even without Shanks bestowing his attention on you.

Shanks had offered to buy you something to eat but you’d declined - the scents had grown to be almost nauseating and a headache had begun its steady throb across your temples. You didn’t remember everything being so much when you were on Beta Island. As you passed a particularly odorous food stall, you nearly gagged and had to use a hand to cover your mouth with Shanks’s sleeve to dilute the stench.

“You alright, Love?” Shanks asked as he quizzically looked between you and the food stall. They were selling taiyaki, which had been one of your favorite foods on your old island. Now the pungent odor of the sizzling oil and red bean paste made your stomach roll. You nodded in response but you kept your mouth covered with his shirt. Shanks’s eyebrows knitted together before he pulled you into a nearby alley away from prying eyes. Fresh air was still in short supply with the plethora of smells and scents so, you crouched down and put your head between your hands.

You felt yourself get pulled into Shanks’s lap as the Emperor sat on the dirty ground of the alley, his hand gentle as he massaged your neck while his strong arm pulled you to his chest. You leaned into his familiar touch and brought your nose to the crook of his warm neck to inhale his scent. It calmed you more than you were expecting and you were able to take more deep breaths of his strong Alpha scent. His musk replaced the cloying smells of the market and your body grew slack as the pounding in your head receded. It felt like he was cocooning you against the real world, the only thing you needed was your Alpha to help guide you through your troubles.

“ ‘M sorry, not sure what’s wrong with me,” you mumbled into his skin as you pressed yourself into his scent glands. A niggling desire in you had you wanting to bite them but the thought was shooed away as soon as it appeared.

“Hongo said it might take you some time to adjust to normal now that you’re not on suppressants. It’s alright, we can take it easy. We’ll sit here for as long as you need,” he replied softly while his hand continued to rub slow circles on your neck. You nodded and his scent washed over you to soothe your aches as you scooted even closer to Shanks. Maybe you could see a future that included Shanks, you thought as you laid your head against his collarbones.

Shanks POV

All too soon the little Omega opened her eyes and showed she was ready to continue the trip when she pushed herself back from Shanks’s neck. Shanks allowed her room to stand up before did the same himself and settled his hand on the small of her back to guide her back to the marketplace. He usually enjoyed meeting the people in his territory and hearing about their lives. Shanks took pride in his people being happy and his most common way to spend time on islands was to plop down in some tavern and socialize. The laughter and conversation often became boisterous with the people who would come and go as they bought him drinks all day long.

This time the experience differed as a strange itch caused by the little Omega grew under his skin. She wasn’t doing anything to upset him with her timid nature; she would hide behind him as he spoke with vendors and citizens. Shanks suspected it was the lack of claiming bite on her neck that bothered him and it made him set his usual carefree behavior to the side. She wasn’t bound to him in any true way, even though she clung to his hand like a life preserver as they wound their way through the stalls. Shanks could claim her at any time but it was said that a bond made during a heat cycle was the strongest of all and the least likely to reject. When he claimed the Omega it would be done properly.

Shanks had spoken to Hongo, who had started researching ways to bring the Omega into heat faster than her cycle would normally call for. Hongo wasn’t sure exactly when the Omega would go into heat again since it was already beyond irregular, so he didn’t think it would be a bad idea to force it into some kind of regular rhythm with medication. There weren’t a lot of medical resources available for Omegas but Shanks had faith in his crew’s abilities to perform the jobs he requested of them. He would claim her once the Omega went into heat again and, they’d both feel much more comfortable with their place in the world. Shanks’ thoughts continued to paw through possibilities as he led her towards the textile area of the market when you drew to a sudden halt.

“Look, they have a barber,” she said in her low tone. Shanks was curious about the voice she had lost but the permanent rasp in her voice never failed to send a shiver down his spine. He wouldn’t have let her change it even if she could. He peered in the direction she had turned her head and Shanks saw the familiar red and blue pole indicating a barber shop.

“So they do,” Shanks said while he kept his tone carefully neutral. He mentally flipped through his current options and decided to acquiesce to her request as it could only benefit his attempts to build trust with her. “Would you still like to cut your hair?” he asked as he turned her to face him. The way her eyes brightened paired with the almost appearance of one of her rare smiles told him he made the right call. “After you, Darling,” he said before he opened the door to the bright interior.

“My Emperor! To what do we owe the surprise? Are we to be honored enough to cut the red hair off Red Haired Shanks?” A pudgy middle aged man called out and bowed deeply. Shanks sheepishly smiled at the man’s dramatic greeting before he moved the Omega to stand in front of him. Her nose wrinkled at the scent of the antiseptic used for the combs as her eyes swept around the small, but neat, barbershop. A young man hovered by the barber and snapped to attention when Shanks came in. The barber smacked him out of his reverent stance before he sent him off on an errand, and the young boy skidded out the back door in his hurry.

“Ah, not for me, but would you mind cutting my Omega’s hair? She would like a trim,” he stated as she looked down at herr feet and wiggled her still bare toes.

“O-of course, dear Emperor. Please, please have a seat,” the man hurriedly said as he ushered the Omega into a barber’s chair and Shanks into the one next to it. “Unless, er, perhaps you would like her to sit with you? I apologize, sir, I’ve never encountered an Omega before. I’m not sure what the rules of engagement are and I don’t want to -” Shanks laughed and clapped the barber on the shoulder lightly.

“Not to worry friend, I know you mean no harm. Besides, my Omega can bear to be without my touch for a few moments,” he said, tossing his sweet Omega a grin. She returned his grin with a blank face but nodded, the addition of a stranger having brought back her silence. The barber looked over the condition of her hair as he sprayed it down with water. She flinched at the feel of the soft spray against her skin and gripped the arms of the chair as she did her best to ignore the barber’s movements. Shanks reached out to soothe her and stroked her hand, sorry he hadn’t thought to warn her about the water. Shanks considered the overgrown mane she currently sported as he sat back in his chair. Shanks was loath for the entire length to go since he wanted most of it to remain for her next heat. Still, he wanted her trust in him to grow so he reasoned a small trim would be enough to mollify her .

“And how would you like her hair cut, Emperor?” the barber queried as he brushed out the Omega’s hair.

“I think cutting off the dead ends would be best, yes?” Shanks called out as he rested one foot over his knee. The Omega had opened her mouth to say something but had closed it as Shanks responded for her. The barber didn’t ask her opinion of the Alpha’s request and she didn’t offer it as he began to cut quite a few inches off the ends of her hair. It was still long enough for him to wrap around his fist, so it would be okay. The young boy came back with a cold six pack of beer which he presented to the Emperor with a flourish.

“That’s awfully kind of you, thanks, kid,” Shanks said with a grin as he took one of the bottles. He popped the top off with Gryphon’s hilt and the metal cap clinked to the floor. “Would you like one too?” The kid looked at the barber who issued him a parent’s silent command with a wide eyed look and a firm nod.

“O-of course, Emperor, thank you,” the young man said while he grabbed one for himself.

“And one for Dad too, yeah?” Shanks said and tossed another at the boy. The kid caught it with a broad smile which Shanks returned with the same enthusiasm. Shanks could feel it in his bones that this kid was a troublemaker. The boy opened his father’s bottle and set it on the counter as the older man worked on the Omega’s hair.

“Whatcha want to do when you get older, kid?” Shanks asked before he took a swig from his bottle.

“I’m gonna leave this island and become a pirate!” The young man proclaimed and thumped his chest. The older man clenched his jaw hard enough to make his salt and pepper mustache wiggle but stayed silent.

“Is that so? You think you have what it takes?” Shanks continued to drink as he teased the young boy.

“Yeah, I do! I’m strong, brave, and I wanna be free!” He exclaimed and did his best to mimic Shanks’ casual way of drinking. He made a face after his sip but Shanks was content to let him have his moment.

“Being a pirate is the ultimate freedom, it’s true. Nothin’ like it,” Shanks mused and polished off his beer with a final swig. The Omega’s cut was nearly done, the barber now fussing over her hairstyle as he ran the brush through her slightly shorter hair.

“What do you think, Emperor?” the barber asked and turned her to face Shanks. He had a mirror near the back of her head to conveniently show Shanks the complete cut without having to turn her around again.

“Lovely as ever, wonderful job,” Shanks replied as the Omega stood up and softly touched her hair before she pulled it forward to see the results. Shanks pulled some beri out of his pocket and handed it to the kid.

“See ya on the seas,” Shanks said with a wink. The kid blushed so hard Shanks thought he was going to pass out as the two of you left the shop.

Your POV

You tried to get a look at your haircut via the glass as you left the barber shop, still being pulled along by Shanks. You weren’t able to see the back but then again, you weren’t asked what you had wanted anyway. Additionally, Shanks hadn’t offered you a beer out of the six pack or even asked if you were thirsty. You pressed your lips into a thin as you cataloged the various slights but did your best to ignore them as you continued down the sidewalk.

“Ready to go clothes shopping, Love? Bet you’re tired of wearing my stuff,” Shanks asked as he looked down at you, his arm around your shoulder. The sidewalk you were on had few people, the streets had cleared out for people to take their midday break. You nodded and after a few minutes of walking in silence, Shanks guided you to a women’s clothing store and held the door open for you. The racks of premade clothes, the bright lights, and the scents of lotions and perfumes were a lot for you to take in. You took a step back into Shanks, who simply kissed the top of your head as salespeople began to swarm you and the Emperor.

“We’re in need of women’s clothing, bring us a selection,” Shanks boomed out to the employees in the store. He wasn’t trying to be rude or intimidating but the nicely dressed Betas looked at one another before they gave you an assessing once over. They dispersed to all sections of the large store in a flurry, some going for shoes, others for dresses, shirts, pants, anything you could ever want. The nicest dressed man of them all calmly approached Shanks with his palms up in supplication. As he neared you noticed that the thin man’s upper lip was beaded with perspiration despite the cool temperature of the store.

“Emperor, I am Kuro, and this is our humble establishment. Please allow us to serve you and your Omega to the best of our abilities. To that end, would you prefer to observe from our comfortable couches while the Omega tries on our wares?” he said with a simpering tone and adjusted his circle framed glasses with his long fingers. You didn’t like the reedy man- while the barber had also only addressed Shanks, the salesman felt slimier somehow to you and you fought the urge to recoil further into Shanks. His scent was amiss too, but it was difficult to discern why it smelt wrong with so many perfumes in the air. Shanks didn't seem to notice anything odd and guided you down the hallway towards the dressing rooms in the back of the store. There was a large cushy couch in front of a coffee table, laden with champagne, hard alcohol and canapes that was adjacent to the try on rooms.

“It’ll be like a fashion show, pick what you want and show me how it looks,” Shanks suggested as you gripped the velvet of his cloak. Your gut told you that being seperated from him was a bad idea though you couldn’t articulate why. He glanced down at your fist clamped on his cloak and he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right here the whole time,” he reassured you as he gently pried your fingers off, and sank down into the couch before he kicked his feet up on the pristine table.

You walked to the changing area while the slender man held the door open for you, three saleswomen already bringing you armfuls of clothes. You were practically pushed into one of the stalls as saleswomen handed you assorted items to try on. Some underwear and a bra were the first items pressed into your hands before they herded you towards the private changing room. You closed the door and removed Shanks’s clothes, taking care to fold them neatly and place them on the small chair inside the dressing room. You put on the underwear, thankful to whoever thought about it. Even if you bought nothing else in the store, at least you’d have some coverage now.

You used the next few minutes to look over your haircut in the floor length mirror since you hadn’t had a chance to get a good look yet. It was alright, you supposed, but it wasn’t really what you wanted. You had wanted it really short, above your shoulders but this was more of a trim that kept your hair longer. Maybe you would be able to convince Shanks another time, you thought as you frowned at the strand you held between your fingers.

Turning your gaze to the mountain of clothes set out for you, you picked up the first shirt from the pile. It was more feminine than you tended to prefer, the cut designed to hug your body rather than the baggier clothes you usually wore. In fact, if Shanks’s clothes had been closer to your size, you and the Emperor could match every day. You liked large, breezy garments that allowed for movement and ease of mobility without showing off your body. Maybe there would be something else for you in the growing piles outside the dressing rooms.

“How’s it going in there?” Shanks yelled from the lounging area. With a small sigh, you grabbed the first pair of pants you saw from the pile as well and barely gave yourself a glance in the mirror as you pulled them on. They hugged your curves and clung to your legs in a way that left little to the imagination to your immense dislike. You opened the white painted wooden door, the scent of fresh paint strong in your nose. But it wasn’t strong enough to hide the faint odor of a Beta somewhere close to the small changing room. You hadn’t heard any footsteps going to any of the other dressing rooms and an alarm rang in your head as the proximity of the smell fully registered with you.

You nearly ran down the hallway that separated you from the Emperor to the lounge area. Shanks gave you a whistle and moved his finger in a stirring motion, so you obediently turned in a slow circle to show off the whole outfit. It was far from the worst thing that had ever happened to you but that didn’t make it any less demeaning as Shanks shamelessly ran his eyes down your body. The closeness of the unseen Beta made your skin prickle while a cold sweat began to dot your forehead. Your instincts screamed at you that something was wrong and you wanted to leave, now .

“Love it, get the outfit if you want,” Shanks said while he emptied a flute of champagne. “Try on some dresses too,” he suggested before he set down the glass to grab some hors d'oeuvres. You sat down next to him on the couch and gripped his knee as the salespeople looked at one another.

“Sh-shanks, there’s someone there,” you whispered to him. He smiled at you and wiped his hand on his shirt, then he settled his hand on top of your own in a failed attempt to placate you.

“Love, there’s a lot of people here. Are the scents too strong or-”

“Is everything alright here? May I refresh your beverage Emperor?” Kuro, just beyond your reach. Your eyes bounced between him and Shanks as your throat threatened to close from fear.

“N-no, there’s someone in the changing room, I could smell them as I came out. Please, please d-don’t make me go back there,” you begged while you gripped his pants with your fists. Shanks’s smile dropped as his gaze tightened at your frightened plea. He looked as much the Emperor as he had been the first night you’d met him and you shrank back from him on the couch. He stilled for a moment as his eyes seemed to focus on something you couldn’t see.

Before you could react Shanks whipped towards Kuro and sank his fangs into the thin man’s neck. Kuro’s garbled wail was replaced by the sickening sound of tearing flesh and sinew as Shanks ripped out his throat and spat it on the floor. The hunk of flesh landed on the now bloodied floor with a wet smack that broke you out of your frozen state. You opened your mouth to scream in horror but nothing came out as you watched the blood drip from the Emperor’s mouth. Shanks seemed unphased when he pushed the now dying man over, where he slumped on the floor as blood gurgled out of the open wound in a steady gush.

“Bad outcome,” Shanks stated as he wiped the blood still dripping from his fangs onto his cloak. You responded to the gore just as you had on the Victoria Punk; you closed your eyes, covered your ears, and curled as small as you could.

Shanks POV

Shanks sensed there would be a problem at the clothing store even before they entered. Something wasn’t hadn’t been quite right and Shanks had spent enough years on the sea to know to listen to his gut. Still, his Omega needed clothes and if Shanks couldn’t protect her from whatever it was, she’d be dead either way. So he’d allowed himself to be lured to the couch, drank the champagne, and pretended to be interested in whatever the pirate was trying to sell him. Better to play along while she was out of sight and keep his ears pricked for signs of trouble than potentially put her in worse danger.

When she returned from trying on her outfit, his fangs elongated of their own volition at the sight of her. He made sure to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible while he took in her tense posture and pale face before he beckoned her closer. He stiffened when he heard her hushed warning about a Beta lurking near the dressing room and allowed his future sight to wash over him.

A searing rage erupted in him at what was intended for the Omega. The store, though it did sell clothes, was a front for a slaving operation led by the main salesman, Kuro. Kuro had heard that an unclaimed Omega was on the island and had already located a buyer willing to pay billions of beri for her. Kuro tried to separate you from Shanks as another pirate waited in your dressing room, ready to gag and restrain you and take you back through the secret door in the mirror.

How Kuro was so arrogant to think he’d be able to take an Emperor’s Omega, Shanks didn’t know. What he did know was that seeing his sweet Omega bound and terrified in that vision, crying as someone kidnapped you again had his fangs in Kuro’s throat before he could think. The metallic tang of the Beta’s blood filled his mouth as he ripped out the pirate’s throat as easily as biting into a peach. The store erupted into chaos as blood gushed from their boss’s neck, the other slavers fleeing through secret exits as they screamed. Kuro’s body crumpled to the ground with a small shove, his final breaths a dull wheeze as his throat landed on the floor beside him.

When he turned to the Omega, she was curled up on the couch in a shaking ball. She cringed away from him when he put his hands on her and peeked her eyes open to peer at the Alpha. She put her hands up in front of her like Shanks was going to hurt her but didn’t bolt away. Pale and shaking, she whimpered as Shanks picked her up and left the store, passing Yasopp and Lime Juice on his way back to the marina.

“The clothing store’s a front for slavers. Find the people already taken, and free them. Still need women’s clothes from the store, bring some back to the ship. Deal with everyone else as you see fit,” Shanks said and jerked his head back towards the clothing store. As an Emperor, it was his duty to prevent slavery in his territories and to send a message that Red Haired Shanks wouldn’t allow his people to come to harm. The islands that flew his flag were under his protection and such behavior going on under his nose was an insult to his reputation. Shanks looked down at the still quivering Omega as she buried her face in his neck and her arms maintained a weak grip on his broad shoulders.

“Hey, nothing bad happened. It was going to, but I stopped it, yeah? I’ll always help you,” he murmured and placed a kiss on the top of her head as he walked her back through the market. The small gesture was one of his favorites, his way of showing you that he cared about you. The tenderness was tainted this time by the blood stains left in your hair from his face, your new cut now ruined. Shanks frowned but didn’t have another hand with which to wipe it off.

She didn’t respond either, not that he expected her to. She’d been quiet all day, overwhelmed by your senses and struggling to readjust to life without suppressants like Hongo had said. Shanks guided her through it all, glad to be her safe harbor in stormy weather. He’d enjoyed caring for her, spending time with her, and showing her that there was still some fun to be had in the world. He was so proud that she had sought him out to help her when she needed it, showing how much more reliant on him she had already become.

“Love, look at me,” he requested in a quiet voice and gently nudged her head with his chin. She shook her head in a rare act of defiance and nestled further into him. Normally, Shanks would revel in this sensation, but he wanted to reassure her verbally. Shanks frowned at her behavior and repeated his request with a Command behind it.

“Love, look at me.”

She pulled back just enough to reveal her face as she glanced up at him through her eyelashes. She didn’t seem herself, even the overwhelmed or scared versions he’d already witnessed. Her eyes had a glazed, absent look like your mind was far off in some other place that Shanks couldn’t reach. Though he had arrived at the marina and could take the dinghy back to the Red Force, Shanks instead sat down on a bench facing the water with her on his lap. Her eyes were still trained on him as he’d told her to but that did nothing to distract him from the unsettling blankness behind them.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he Commanded. Shanks knew it wasn’t fair - Commands weren’t meant to be used to have Omegas express their thoughts or feelings - but Shanks needed insight, needed to know what to do to bring that light back into her eyes. After the Command registered, she finally came back from her thoughts. She blinked several times and bit her lips shut to try to avoid the compulsion to answer. All the while she still stared at Shanks, as if truly seeing him for the first time.

“I - I -...” she started before she clamped her mouth shut again. It broke his heart to see her so unsure and scared.

“No matter what you say, I won’t be mad. I promise,” he said while he ran his hand up and down her back in an attempt at reassurance. She was still in the new clothes you’d changed into from the clothing store and the diminished smell of him on her made his primal instincts scream in indignation. There really wasn’t anything she could say that would sway his love but he knew she needed a lot of support and gentle handling given your background.

“What’s my name?” She asked quietly, her gaze on the sea as she sat on his lap.

“What’s that, Love?” Shanks asked in surprise at her simple question. He expected her to talk about the bloodshed, or his power, or how overwhelmed she was - anything but that.

“My name isn’t ‘Love.’ Do you know my real name?” She asked again in her deep voice. Shanks considered her for a moment before he flashed her a smile that made his scars wink across his face.

“Guess not! Didn’t ask you, huh? Oof, I feel like a real heel.” he said while he rubbed her cheek with his thumb in slow strokes. “I thought you were scared of what happened in the store but you’re just worrying about silly little -”

“It’s not silly,” she said with a blank face as she continued to look away from him. Shanks frowned as he shifted her closer to his chest and wrapped his arm around her middle. He had half a mind to Command her to stop her talking about this unimportant topic but he said he wouldn’t be upset by whatever she said. “I don’t - you treat me like….like I’m just an Omega,” you said in a small unwavering voice.

“You are an Omega, Love,” Shanks replied and his eyebrows knit together as the point of her statement missed him completely. Perhaps he should ask Hongo to better explain her designation, maybe knowing more would help her adjust to her new reality.

“I’m more than that. I’m a person first.”

“Of course. No one is saying you aren’t -”

“You don’t treat me like a person. You treat me like I’m an object, something to possess, a treasure -” Shanks’s eyes narrowed as his fingers tightened on her waist. He tried to collect his thoughts as they raced at her admonishment and express them in a way your frazzled mind would understand.

“Yes, you’re a treasure. You’re my treasure -”

“I don’t want to go back to the -”

“ Stop talking,” Shanks Commanded her, his jaw clenched hard enough for a vein to stand out in his neck even as he continued to hold her gently. Her mouth snapped shut as she avoided his gaze and she hunched her shoulders as she felt a rumble begin to vibrate along her back. Shanks wasn’t sure how much of what she’d said was because he compelled her but he didn’t want to hear the rest of those thoughts. How could she say she didn’t want to return to his ship, to return to him ? How could she reject him after all he’d done for her, trying to leave him after he’d just shown her how he would protect her, help her, guide her? The rumble that emanated from his chest was like a war cry, not the soothing purr she had become used to. Shanks wanted to roar his anger loud enough for other islands to hear it, to slice the island in two with Gryphon, to hide her away where she’d never be able to leave him again.

Tears streamed down her face as you remained silent under his Command. She sniffled and tried her best not to move, her strong scent of fear now wafting towards Shanks in a biological gesture of supplication to soothe his ire. Her fingers were intertwined tightly enough to whiten her knuckles as she tried to self soothe. Shanks’s anger deflated as he took in her pathetic form while he looked down at her.

Of course she didn’t want to go back to the ship , he thought, she was scared and confused. She probably had a flashback at the clothing store to her time with Kid and Shanks’s surge of possessive anger did little to help. He belatedly realized he didn’t tell her why he ripped out that man’s throat in front of her. At this point she probably assumed he was prone to erratic and extreme violence like Kid had been. He sighed and unwound his hand from her side to reach for her face. She flinched as he cupped her cheek but didn’t pull back.

“Love, I know you’re having a hard time adjusting. I’m not going to hold any of what you said against you, like I promised. Haven’t I kept all my promises?” Shanks asked while he wiped away an errant tear. She did her best to not dislodge Shanks’s hand when she responded with a small nod.

“How can we separate? Those people were slavers - they wanted to sell you to a Celestial Dragon, they already had a buyer lined up. I had to get rid of Kuro to protect you and the other people they’d already taken,” he explained gently as she sniffled again.

“You need someone to protect you, to prevent things like that from happening again. If not Celestial Dragons, you’d end up with someone like Kaido or Big Mom. You wouldn’t want that, right?” She shook her head at his questions, as the reason why she had to remain with Shanks finally hit her. He felt a little guilty but he needed to drive the point home, to make her see that she needed to stay with him.

“Besides, you can’t even walk around by yourself, right? Remember this morning when we had to take a break for you to smell me? We’re well on the way to bonded if you’re acting like that, it’s going to happen sooner or later. We’ll be bonded and we’ll settle down into a life of happiness together, yeah? Everything will be so much easier for us both. You need me just like I need you,” Shanks said in a low croon and turned her face toward his. “Look at me, little Omega,” he asked this time without a Command. Her red rimmed eyes met his own as he leaned down within a hair's breadth of her face.

“We were meant to be,” Shanks said before he captured her lips in a kiss that seared the reality of her future with him into her mind.

Taglist: @v1ennie @staarflowerr @treelogirl @rebeccawinters @nocturnalrorobin @mochiclouds @cursedforlife666 @epochal-oracle @whore-of-many-hot-men @one-piecelover @anemonyee @joana7654-blog @mfreedomstuff @littlelovebug98 @hannya-writes @babi-lamb @sanjisleggy @princessuta061108 @twismare @iamrgo @littlelovebug98 @anonymousmuffinbear

#op x y/n #x reader #tw yandere #shanks x reader #op shanks #red haired shanks #alpha shanks #omega reader #omegaverse #emperor's prize au #tw violence #tw mentions of violence #red haired pirates

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sunafc · 3 days ago

Text

Alliance – 11, i would

masterlist

Kenma is waiting by his car, watching as Y/n makes her way to him. She skips here and there, between her steps, and when she gets in front of him, Kenma notices the faint blush on her cheeks and the glossed haze over her eyes. She has a smile plastered on her face and Kenma thinks she has probably never been — and never will be — this happy to see him. He teases her, telling her he’s impressed she can still walk straight. She replies by poking out her tongue and insisting that she’s not that drunk, just a bit tipsy.

In the car Y/n rolls the window all the way down, she turns her head to it and keeps her eyes closed as the cold air hits her face. Kenma steals a glance or two at the girl’s figure, ‘Close the window,’ he says.

Y/n turns to him and rolls her eyes, ‘I hate you,’ she sighs loudly and still leaves the window down.

‘You’ll get a cold with the way you’re dressed,’ Kenma’s gaze lingers on the girl’s outfit before returning to the road in front.

Y/n sighs again, dramatically, before following Kenma’s instructions and closing the window.

The car ride goes quite smoothly, the seemingly precarious state of peace only interrupted by a brief bickering about the radio volume, that ends up with music blasted through the car because Y/n had declared that since she had closed the window like Kenma wanted, then now they had to listen to music how she wanted — to which Kenma had replied that was only a suggestion and she could’ve gotten sick as far as he was concerned.

When they get to their apartment building Kenma is careful to walk behind Y/n as they go up the stairs to their floor, making sure she doesn’t trip.

‘You know...’ Y/n says as Kenma turns the key in the keyhole to open the door, ‘I don’t actually hate you,’ she states getting inside the apartment, ‘You just piss me off so fucking bad,’ she drops herself on the couch with her arms spread wide open.

‘Yeah?’ Kenma closes the door behind him, ‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘Not sure,’ Y/n sits up, ‘Probably just the alcohol in me, but I think we could be somewhat friends if you weren’t so annoying,’ she suggests.

‘Ah,’ Kenma chuckles, ‘So that’s on me?’

‘Of course!’ She says matter of factly, ‘I am a joy to be around.’

‘Of course,’ he repeats, voice laced with sarcasm, as he goes to sit next to her.

There are a few moments of silence as Y/n fidgets around trying to find a comfortable position on the couch before talking again, ‘I wonder what Shoyo’s up to right now,’ she mumbles.

‘About him...’ Kenma sighs, ‘If he knew about what I was planning,’ — Y/n hums, prompting him to go on — ‘I doubt he would easily accept that side of me,’ he lowers his gaze to the floor, only wanting to get his thoughts out and not expecting any answer but, to his surprise, Y/n is quick to reply.

‘I would,’ she says confidently then she laughs at Kenma’s reaction. The boy’s eyes widened as his head snaps towards Y/n, staring open-mouthed.

‘Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,’ she jokes.

With that it seemed like he got back to earth, ‘You’re drunk,’ Kenma suggests, ‘And you should probably get some sleep, too.’

The girl disregards that, ‘I did, in a way, though, didn’t I? I even went along with your antics.’

Kenma has no words, the girl is right — though he won’t admit that — but, in a way, he still has troubles believing her. The weird sensation in his chest, that he had felt days earlier, found its way back, confusing him further.

notes:

— i'm not sure how i feel abt this chapter tbh but i hope u guys like it anyway 🙏

taglist: @solaqes @oneiratxxia10 @reocidal @sonicsolos @scinclaitnoir @sp1ng @yuminako @dazqa @simply-a-simps2 @veecynii @honeyfewr @flowernoor @azharyy @hanadulsetaad @cupidsblonde @sticknpokes @lilifl0wer @phoenix-eclipses @dudeimnotgonnakms @3lectraheart @kodzuken-hoe @obamakinnie @iluv-ace @meekydeeks @chuuyalvover @m3llypl1n1us @sixtiesweetheart @ch4rstxr @rowensboat @happycatanxie @mrowwww @classicalelephant @4rmins @dog-with-a-blogs-blog @cherrii-11 @getvaccinated @needtoloveoutloud @itsdragonius @jadebat7 @soupnamiii @arwawawa2 @sillykoalawasteland @imtheproblems

if u want to be added to the taglist let me know with an ask or a comment <3

#haikyuu #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #kenma smau #kenma #kenma x reader

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lilithschosen · 2 days ago

Note

I can totally see Rio sitting on the couch playing her Nintendo Switch, but Agatha wants to have her own fun

should i have been sleeping? yes. did i have to write Rio playing Stardew on the switch? also yes. heheheheheheheheh

Resting the controller in her lap while she reaches for her water bottle, Rio sips from the straw quickly before snatching the controller back and grumbles to herself about how she's "not making it home before 2am". The little low quality graphic of her character runs (as fast as it can) down the road before stopping and the screen turns black.

"Fucker," she mumbles. A text box flashes on the screen as she gasps and sits forward on the couch. "He took how much of my money?"

Agatha strolls into the living room, her flannel sleeves rolled up to her elbows, beer in hand. She laughs, seeing Rio sat glued to the television.

"Still in your game, huh?" she asks, ungraciously falling onto the couch next to her girlfriend. "This the, uh, farm one? Star whatever?"

Rio nods, "Yeah, I passed out just outside of my farm so the dickhead hospital guy stole a bunch of stuff and money from me."

"You should go kick his ass."

Rio rolls her eyes, turning to watch as Agatha winks and sips from her beer. "That's not how it works, babe."

Agatha sniffs loudly, shrugging. She kicks her feet up on the table, knee pressing into Rio's thigh next to her. Rio smiles, patting Agatha's leg before she goes back to playing her game. Saturday evenings were lowkey, normally self care for the both of them after whatever hell they went through with work the week prior. Agatha spent the full day tinkering in the shed, determined to fix the weed-whacker she's been using since her early 20s, leaving Rio to play her Switch unbothered.

She rarely had time for games, only able to sneak half an hour here and there. Today she managed to log nearly ten hours in her game.

Agatha watches for a beat, trying to understand why this pixelated farming game has her girlfriend by the throat but smirks at the thought of having her by the throat instead.

She leans closer, shoulders nudging, and places her hand on her inner thigh. An innocent enough touch, something Agatha does absentminded when she's watching hockey and Rio joins her. Rio doesn't pay it any mind, both hands on her black Nintendo controller as she tends to the crops. She grumbles under her breath when the watering can runs empty mid-watering.

"So how focused do you have to be to play this?"

Rio pauses the game, tongue flicking into the inside of her cheek. "Depends. Why do you ask?"

Agatha shrugs, "No reason."

She keeps her hand on Rio's leg, watching her as she continues with her game. She taps the right bumper a couple times to bring up the watering can in her hotbar, then resumes watering the crops. She putters about the farm, organizing her inventory with the various chests she has strewn about.

The warmth from Agatha's palm still firmly placed on her thigh has her clenching legs together inadvertently. Agatha smirks, fingertips pressing into her skin.

"You okay, hon?" she asks in faux concern, "You need something?"

Rio's swipes at her nose with the back of her hand, raising the controller up as she does so and shakes her head. She tries to ignore Agatha, tries to make her way toward the mines, to try and reach the bottom finally. Yet her mind pulls her elsewhere as Agatha's fingers crawl closer to her core until she fully cups her through her thin, cotton shorts. She can't help but whimper at the contact and click her tongue in annoyance at herself.

Agatha's grin slowly spreads across her face, knowing she was winning. The little game they constantly played with one another of chicken. Who would crack under the pressure, how far they'd get until they're giving in. Rio holds strong normally, can last until Agatha starts to tease her fingers through her folds before she's grabbing and pulling at her for more.

Agatha presses her palm down, her other hand snaking up underneath Rio's simple tee, reaching for her breast. She keeps moving the joystick, walking her character through the town square and up toward the community center.

"You're really trying to play this game, aren't you?" Agatha asks, fingertips grazing her nipple, hardening immediately at her touch. Rio bites down hard on her bottom lip, knuckles turning white around the controller. "Just pause it, let me take care of you."

Rio's thumb lifts from the joystick, hovering over the pause button as she nearly gives in, but quickly keeps pressing on.

Agatha rolls the hard nipple across her fingers, pinching it gently between her thumb and forefinger while she grinds her palm into her clit. Rio gasps, mouth falling open from the simultaneous contact. She keeps playing, crossing a bridge and tucking into the pixelated cave. Just as she approaches the ladder down to the mines, Agatha lowers her head to her chest and licks her other nipple through the shirt.

"Fucking hell, Agatha."

Rio drops the controller, hands immediately grabbing at her flannel shirt to pull her head back up. As Agatha meets Rio's face, the obnoxious proud look on her face, Rio crashes their mouths together. She knew she could withstand more, but Agatha was playing dirty.

She moans into Agatha's mouth at the taste of her tongue, eyes closing as Agatha grinds her palm harder between her legs. Rio spreads them further, lifting one up to drape over Agatha's for her girlfriend to get better access.

Agatha tilts her head back, breaking the kiss, and she chuckles. Rio rolls her eyes, hissing as Agatha pulls her nipple before pinching it again.

"Needy?"

"Clearly," Rio bites back, lip curling in annoyance. "If you don't fuck me after all of this, so help me."

Agatha pouts, removing her hand from underneath Rio's shirt. "Oh now you're going to be bossy?"

She goes to take her hand away from Rio's cunt, but Rio grabs her wrist and holds it still. Before Agatha can even blink, Rio is straddling her waist on the couch with her hand still firmly between her legs.

"Don't move," Rio rasps, rolling her hips into Agatha's hand. "If you won't do anything, I'll just use your hand for you."

Agatha's mouth goes dry, dial tone sounding in her ears as her brain lags behind. This wasn't part of her plan, one of the tricks up her sleeve she was going to pull out. Rio smirks now, knowing damn well her wetness has bled through her underwear and probably through her shorts by now.

"If you were packing," Rio begins, setting her pace as she rocks into Agatha's open hand. Her clit drags against the fabric of her clothes, and the added bonus of Agatha's palm providing friction was perfect for her. "I'd be doing this on your cock. But no, I have to use your hand instead."

Agatha doesn't move, doesn't speak. She's entranced by Rio, how quickly the cloak of power was ripped from around her neck and firmly draped over Rio's shoulders.

Rio's head falls back as she continues to grind into Agatha's hand. She stutters a breath as she feels her fingers gently caress her entrance through her shorts.

"Now you wanna help?"

Agatha looks up at her through hooded eyes, fingers wrapping around the bunched up leg of her shorts and shoves them aside to make enough gap to fit her hand. She pushes the underwear to the side as well, and sinks two fingers into Rio's soaked pussy.

They both moan together, the feeling of Agatha finally sinking into her after the teasing was enough to make her cum at this point. She curls her fingers as she fucks her, thrusting her hips up as she kicks herself mentally for not putting the harness on before coming to distract her.

"I love you," Rio cries out, hands lifting to grope at her chest as she rides Agatha's fingers, "I love you so much, I'd fucking die in that damn game countless times if it means you'd fuck me like this."

Agatha laughs, a deep, velvet sound. She thrusts up, grinding herself into the back of her hand while she scissors her fingers into Rio. She feels her walls flutter, massaging them with each motion until they clench around her. Rio stiffens, face twisting in pleasure as she cums.

The screen behind her goes black, a small text box appearing. She doesn't hear the sounds or even care what happened now, her hips jerking erratically as she rides out her orgasm in Agatha's hand.

"That's it, baby," Agatha watches her, heart pounding in her ears. "You're so beautiful, so perfect. All mine."

Rio whines, her body taut until she finally relaxes. Her hands fall from her chest, landing behind her to grip Agatha's knees to hold her steady. She opens her eyes, tongue instantly wetting her lips as she looks to the TV and groans loudly.

"I fucking passed out again."

Agatha looks around Rio's body, her fingers still inside of her. She doesn't understand the implications, and doesn't care to learn them.

"I didn't have much on me either," Rio slouches, body curling into Agatha's on the couch. "Harvey is going to take my fucking sword, I just know it."

"Are you sure you can't just kick his ass for your stuff back?"

"It's not that kinda game, babe."

Agatha shrugs, slowly removing her fingers from Rio's cunt. She pulls her underwear back over and tries to unfurl the leg of her shorts before firmly planting her hands on Rio's hips.

"Well," she starts, pressing a quick kiss to the side of Rio's head, "How about we give up on this game and go to bed?"

Rio frowns, "But I have stuff to do."

Agatha slaps at the top of her ass, "And I have a hot girlfriend to do. Up."

#asks #butch!agatha #agatha harkness #rio vidal #agathario #lilithschosen #i have ... an ungodly amount of hours in stardew #Rio would absolutely want to marry Leah though #Agatha doesn't understand games but she played gta vice city a bit so she just assumes every game has violence #eheheheheehheeheh

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imorynn · 3 hours ago

Text

── ꨄ︎ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 ( a. amberg)

── ꨄ︎ pairings : avis amberg ✘ fem!reader ── ꨄ︎ word count : 5.5k+ ── ꨄ︎ warnings / mentions : SMUT , fluff and bit of plot, gift giving, face sitting, overstimulation, oral ( avis receiving ), soft!dom!reader, strap usage ( reader using ), sub!avis, praise, cunnilingus, smudge of orgasm denial, fingering, romantic shittttt bc im fucking delusional

── ꨄ︎ tags : @multifandomme @multixfan @nutritionat @ephemeral-love-4

── ꨄ︎ dividers by : @cafekitsune !!!

a/n : DOES IT REALLYYYYY have to be one day of love when it can be the entire month ( ignore the fact that we're abt to end the month, ZIP it before I start swinging all sleep deprived ). ENJOYYYY bc I pulled 4 all nighters while doing personal art projects and now I am going to crash hard <3333

── VALENTINE’S DAY was a celebration Avis Amberg never thought she would revisit — certainly not like this. Not with a fervent devotion that poured unbidden from her every touch, nor with someone whose gaze held her as though the universe itself revolved at her feet. It simply was never meant for women such as Avis Amberg.

Or so she had convinced herself through the decades — each February fourteenth arriving like a hollow echo of what could have been.

Once upon a time, she had celebrated it with girlish enthusiasm, basking in the thrill of passion and romance, the holiday had been a canvas for her to paint her devotion in vivid strokes.

She had forgotten feeling like this. A melancholy of unspoken longing has always lumbered, it has always been this way ever since she was with… well, him. Decades were spent enduring his neglect and it had drained her of that hope to feel, to experience. The extravagant dinners and impersonal gifts he offered in the past were all exhibitions, vacant deeds to maintain appearances rather than tokens of affection.

Those years had extinguished something in her — bit by bit, day by day, until she believed there was no longer such purpose for such a superfluous day. For Avis, Valentine’s Day had become a performance — one she no longer cared to attend.

And then came you, rekindling that long-forgotten flame.

You were far from anyone she had ever encountered, youthful and unjaded by life’s cruelties. There was a vehemence in the way you treasured her, solely not for her beauty or her appellation, yet for the very profundity of her existence.

You worshiped her, something she had not thought she craved for until she got a taste of it, greedily consuming every droplet of whatever you provided. You did not see Avis Amberg, the former starlet or the long-suffering wife of Ace Studios’ kingpin; you saw a woman that longed to be cherished. And in return, she found herself rekindling the capacity to love, wholly, impenitently.

From the moment her eyelids fluttered open, the day unfurled exceedingly just for her. Her bedroom, once upon a time a mere retreat for sleep, had transformed into a haven of serenity, soaked in the gentle hues of dayspring's gold as it poured through extensive windows.

“Good morning, my love,” a soft peck had been met with her temple while she had blinked away the dosage of sleep. Your eyes were brimming with childlike enchantment as you stared down at her, as if the entire day ahead were a present waiting to be unwrapped. Breakfast awaited for her in the dining room, fruit glistening, pastries warm, tea rich and hot — just how she liked it.

Humming, Avis had simply reached for your hand and held it, her thumb circling the skin there with a smile upon her lips, auburn locks nestled against the elegant line of her clavicle.

“You’ve been busy, haven't you?” she mused, tone still soaked with rest, yet undeniably teasing when her gaze swept over you, your flushed anticipation, the way your body all but reverberated with the desire to please.

Your cheek lifted. “Just trying to give my love everything she deserves.”

That earned you the warmest gaze she always gave when it came to you. Lips puckering to linger on yours in a sweet kiss, fingers stroking the angle of your jaw.

Then, with the refined elegance of a woman who always knew what she wanted, she pulled away and shifted, fingers still tangled with yours when she moved to straddle your chest. Her robe, a silk, lush red, loosely tied, pried open just enough to display the velvet skin of her cleavage.

“But you wouldn’t mind if I took my time waking up first, darling?” she murmured and tilted her head, amusement flickering those pretty browns when she rolled her hips forward, just enough for the heat of her to press into you.

You gave her a cheeky smile, her fingers carding through your hair. “None at all.”

Flutters within her flowing core, damp lace between her thighs. Desire blazed from your gaze and searing palms curved over her ass beneath robes. Even through silk, she felt the force of your teasing smack against her thigh before yanking her down to your salivating mouth.

You worshipped her, a queen seated upon her very own throne carved by flesh, blood, and bones. Valves of heat trickled down the base of her spine and slithered into the pit of her stomach with every lap, every slurp, every soft suction you gifted.

Desire drove your tongue, lapping at the dripping seam of her cunt; prying open the puffy folds and you indulged in more of her slick cascading from her hole.

She almost choked on a moan of pleasure when you squeezed her rear, her clit kicking against the press of your nose as you sealed your mouth over her plump cunt.

A constellation of tears clung to the edges of her fluttering lashes, flaming sparkles swirled in her vision. “That’s it, baby, fuck…”

Vocals were stinging within her throat and she struggled to breathe, thighs constricting around your head while your hands curled over her hips, controlling the slow, gyrating motions created as they escalated.

The gentle suckle of your lips coaxed the knot in her stomach to unfurl, your own veins flooded with white hot bliss and her nerves frayed. A blistering moan puffed against her searing skin as her juices spewed, translucent weaves webbing your fervently moving lips, dribbling down your chin as you drank up her intoxicating fill, lovingly coaxing her to ride out her orgasm.

Your hands slid her hips down to your stomach, propping yourself up in order to capture her ecstatic features entirely in your mind. For a second, all she could do was breathe, her chest rising and falling, fingers twisting over your shoulders. Eyes fluttered open, gaze heavy-lidded when she looked down at you with a fulfilled smile.

“That’s a way to start the day,” she serenaded in her exhalation, stroking back a few damp strands of hair from your forehead, her thumb then sweeping across your cheek. “You spoil me, darling.”

You turned, pushing a kiss into the center of her palm and paralleled her expression. “That is exactly what I intend to do this entire day.”

The hours passed in a blur of ecstatic indulgence. You had arranged everything meticulously, ensuring she needed only to follow your lead, already tinkering ahead of time for her to not be needed in the studio. A decadent breakfast — her favorite — enjoyed on the balcony overlooking the fine greeneries and lush flowers of her garden. A leisurely afternoon spent exploring a curated selection of vintage records and rare books you’d sourced, each one chosen with her particular tastes in mind.

And then, as the sun dipped below the horizon, the pinnacle of your plan unveiled itself.

Even though you had made it clear today was to spoil her endlessly, Avis spared no expense, of course. She never did when it came to you. She was not the type to hold back, and Valentine’s Day was no exception. A new dress in your preferred hue, tailored to your every dip and curve. A box of imported confections that dissolved like velvet on the tongue. A cord of dazzling pearls clasped around your neck by her own fingers, her lips brushing the slope of your collarbone as she breathed out just how stunning you appeared sporting them.

And apart from the luxury, there was a heartfelt sincerity woven through her generous gestures in which reminded you that this was not just some display of wealth. It was love, fervent and deeply rooted.

Now that fervent love was awaiting to be unleashed with her gloved hand clasped atop of yours, opening the door and allowing for her to step in first. The household had been empty for the night, seeing as you paid the staff generously to give you time alone with Avis, and Claire had been out and about on a romantic rendezvous with her boyfriend, so everything had been greatly set in plan.

“After you, love.”

Her lips, lacquered in a shade of wine, tilted upward in an alluring curve, only for it to widen and chuckle at the feel of your palm squeezing and gently pushing at the clothed curve of her ass. “What surprises await for me now, hmm?”

You tapped her lower back, motioning for her to go upstairs. “You’ll see.”

A flawless brow rose at the light laugh erupting from you, and her hand pried away from yours. She clutched at her bouquet of crimson roses you had gifted her, the point of her nose brushing along their floral leaves, inhaling their aroma.

As she sauntered forward, she could not help but tilt back and look at you. It was still there, that lovesick smile. The smile lingered on your kiss-supple lips, hiding behind the faint stain of her ruby lipstick there as well, clogging her brain at the notion that you were hers.

You were studying her figure intently, no doubt making a mental list of all the places your lips would caress once you got to the bedroom. The jacket cinched at her waist, its sharp lines softened by the trim that rested over her shoulders. Her matching skirt hugged the plump curve of her hips, ending just below the knee, the sway of it graceful with every step.

She came to a stop at the front of the doors. Turning, she came chest to chest with you, and she sighed deeply. Overwhelmed at that stare of adoration when you became her line of vision. Overwhelmed at the way you nudged your nose across the bridge of hers, inhaling her with fluttered eyelids, and that made one of the two moan.

You gave a small laugh at the way she felt foreignly bashful, because of course she was the one who moaned. The simplest acts of affections done by you will always draw a reaction out of Avis. “You are crushing my roses now.”

Hazed eyes, seemingly only aware of her and that flushed demeanor that went perfectly with the rust wine of her outfit, fluttered quickly down to the flowers in her hold, yet the proximity with Avis was not lost. Your forehead brushed hers, murmuring, "Don't worry too much ... there's more of them in there."

Avis glowered, eyes darting between yours when you reached for the door and pushed it open, motioning for her to go in. She stepped further into the room, and her breath seemed to catch, her gaze darting to every delicate detail you had so thoughtfully arranged.

Velvet-soft petals lay scattered like whispered promises across the floor and the vast expanse of the bed, their rich hues a striking contrast against the crisp linens. Candles adorned every surface, standing in elegant stillness, their wicks unlit yet their scent lingered in the air.

For a long moment, nothing was uttered by her. The soft click of the door closing behind her felt distant — her focus entirely enraptured by the romantic beauty laid out before her. Her breath slowed, her chest rising and falling in measured anticipation as her eyes traced the scattered petals, the curve of the bed, candles sparking to life as you moved around the room, lighting them each.

When she finally moved, it was hesitant, as though afraid to disturb something sacred. The pads of her fingers brushed along the edge of a petal on the bed, and it was soft, so soft, that it drew a tremble from her.

"You did all this for me?" There was wonder in her tone, but beneath it, something sounded a little fragile.

"Well, it wasn’t that much trouble," you started as you lit the final candle, words spewing out a tad bit faster than your thoughts could catch them. "The staff was kind enough to help — truly, they were wonderful. I just had the idea, but they made it happen, and—"

Her dark-aligned brown irises softened, and it was enough to make you string together the rest of your sentence. " I just wanted everything to be perfect for you."

The words disintegrated on your tongue when the soft click of her heels echoed through the space. She set her roses upon the table in front of the windows and then stood front of you. Her hands slid along your jaw, angling your face just enough for her lips to kiss yours.

She captured every ounce of breath from your lungs and caged them within her ribcage. Molding, desirous, loving. "What did I ever do to deserve you, sweetheart?"

The longer you gazed at her, the more you discerned just the way she adored you, the way she was still reconciling herself with being adored in return. How much she missed this type of love, just how much she needed you as you her. Yearning for her was an all-consuming feeling, your entire being craved her in any moment, that yearn amplified beyond reason when she looked at you like that, it surpassed understanding. "Simply exist."

She tried stifling her giggle, letting you pull her close and connected your lips, desire spilling out of you and into her, discarding her from clothing.

The gloves were the first to go — your fingers sliding them off one by one until bare skin burned against yours. Then your hands moved to the buttons of her coat and silk beneath, slipping them free slowly, savoring every inch of skin you uncovered. Avis mirrored you, her touch just as flaring, just as desperate, and soon you were both shedding the every top layer that kept you away from basking in one another's entire blaze.

Her heartbeat grew unrelenting when you made her sit at the hem of the bed, her body sizzled into your frame while tucked beneath her soft jaw was your head, the twines of your hair grazing her warm-toned flesh with every movement of you burrowing deeper into her neck. “You are breathtaking, Avis.”

Two of your fingers had been raised to trace down her spine, tips soon straying from its path to outline every exposed ridge and valley of her back, to follow every speck and slope. The lingers of your torturous ascent elicited a shiver from your lover, an elicit you hoped for.

"Hm, do that again." Her request did not surprise you. She reveled in your touch without a shame in her bones. Avis longed for your hands on her being and you could never deny her, so you of course obliged. That hum of approval from her she only ever gave to you, it was what you were after, it was what you basked in. To provide. To grant her what she deserved.

Your nose stroked down her clavicle, softly moving over the skin there while your digits stalked her side, sliding to the swell of her breasts, descending, sliding the stockings down the curve of her thighs, rolling them down. The slip followed soon after, leaving her in lace and warmth and the gentle flush spreading across her chest.

You created a seamless transition from tender graze to demanding massage between her legs. There was a moan, a low one, it expanded inside her with a plan to free itself. And it was the reaction you sought after, your intentions made known when you smiled against her.

“Y/N.” Her voice was of warning, one you did not pay regard to. “Don’t tease me.”

Your giggle reverberated through her and you tilted your head towards her, “I didn't do anything.”

She pulled you closer, lips becoming fervent, rougher. Her hips wounded into your touch and you could tell she was in need of direct contact. Your lips mapped along the lines of her neck, trailing open-mouth kisses along it.

Breathing you in was second nature. Three distinct scents intermingled on your person: the waft of your fragrance, the expensive one she bought for you because she knew it would pair perfectly with the second one, your natural essence. The last one, unyielding lust paired perfectly with the prominent aromas.

She loved them all, embracing it all as you slipped your fingers into her tailored skirt. “Lift your hips for me.” low, rough, a hushed command. Your voice dipped into that tone you knew unraveled her. Without hesitation, she obeyed — lifting off the bed and offered herself up to your hands. The skirt dragged down, fabric whispering against her skin as you bared more of her to your gaze, your fingers grazing every curve. Cool air struck her most delicate, making her gasp and quiver alike. “You’re a damn sight, Avis.”

Your warm remark tugged a bashful chuckle out of her, one that immediately morphed into a low moan when you stroked two fingers from her swollen nub to her awaiting hole.

Plummeting in and out of her at the most excruciatingly slow pace known to an aroused and desperate woman, known to mankind, taking time to bask in her oasis, to sweep and press along her walls with your wandering finger pads. Your strides elongated, digits slick as they shoved within her warm cunt.

Your way with her was both something that made her adoration grow for you, The way you took your time with her, always, always. The flat of your palm nudging her swollen clit with each thrust. Digits extending inside of her that made her crave more.

“Fuck…” You inhaled deeply, her rich fragrance whirling within your lungs, hoping to keep it there as your only source of oxygen, letting your tongue slowly lap down the length of her neck before allowing your teeth to so subtly sink into the junction there.

You were fond of leaving your mark upon the older woman; it drove you both mad, the idea that you could nip at her skin so lovingly, that you could trap the textured skin between your lips and leave feverish blemishes behind, blending with the boldness of petals beneath her. Scattered across the flesh of her neck, continuing its descent from her collarbone to bosom, and uniquely crafted by your mouth and no one else's. Body, existence tethered completely to you. “You're drenched, Avis.”

All she could manage to release was a honey dipped moan as she allowed her head to bow back when she hitched her hips into your hand, pace slowing down — fucking hell, how and why did you slow down even more? — until your thumb soothed over her eager clit, each caress more gratifying than the last. “Am I making you feel good?”

She nodded, breaking the potent eye contact to shut her eyes tight. She was heaving, so consumed by pleasure and completely overwhelmed by amber heated lust blown into shards, piercing, and wanting to deliciously seep into her every bone, every nerve. Something only you could ever conjure within her.

“No, uh uh, keep those eyes on me, hmm.” You hovered over her naked body, her chin gently clasped between your thumb and forefinger in order to lower her eyes, so brown and abyssal, towards yours. “There we go, Avis … just let me see those pretty eyes. Please, momma?”

Your digits were still carving deep into the soft velvet hush of her walls and when you spoke in an almost sweetly deriding manner, she released a sigh that prolonged into a whimper, right into your parted lips.

You were aware that she yearned for you to kiss her senselessly, she was feening for your tongue to be down her throat, but your mind had been fixated on another route. You kissed her, something more fleeting to describe it as a peck, and it made her huff, consumed by pleasure and completely overwhelmed by lust and exasperation.

“Darling, I need more. Please, give momma more.” Her aerated speech met your grinning mouth. Your head shake created a spark of friction that she wished would flicker into a blaze and consume her to the core.

“I know, I know, love. I am going to give you more, just be a little more patient with me, okay?” Her palm clipped to your nape and yours once more found her soft soaked mound, pushing so deliciously. It had her hips rocking forward into a rhythm you so easily recognized and synchronize with.

Auburn locks were free from their habitual up-do, curling at the swell of her heaving chest, alluring, hypnotizing you closer and before you knew it, your lips and teeth collided there with her bare breast, suckling her so sweetly, so leisured it tormented her. With every carnal swirl and flattening of your tongue around her nipple, leaving oozes of thick spit behind before switching to the other.

Avis remained filled as you tore yourself away from her soaked front in order to slide down and between her legs, knees burying into the rich rugs beneath you, keeping her own apart while you watched her nectar spilling slowly from ripened blossoms, absorbed into the silk sheets beneath.

“Sweetheart, you’re killing me …. do something, for God’s sake, please!” A beseech assisted her words, unfurling her body in response, and you grinned at the sight.

She was never one to beg — always one to command, but somehow, it was you who had coaxed her to the edge, filling her to the brim with a yearning that stripped her of pride and left only need.

You allowed your middle finger to push through dampened folds, stopping at her clit, and proceeded at a torturous pace. You wanted to make her wait for it, push her even more to beg for it, the shadowed depth of your irises spoke enough.

Your hand emerged to your mouth, tasting her, your favorite flavor, dissolving and becoming one with your taste buds. You never hesitated to display just how much you relished it, and in other situations, she would have you utter to her just how much you liked momma’s taste.

Your gaze remained fixed on her, hot, unbreakable, and you slowly drew your finger out of your lips before sucking it back, each pull igniting the hunger already coiled tight within her.

You marveled at the way you had the ability to unravel someone such as Avis, at the way you left her drenched in desire, pure and lustrous, moaning into your mouth that she belonged to you, body and breath. It happened often, and each time, you still could not fully grasp the depth of your own power over her.

Your gazes locked, a silent rope yanking tight between you as she watched you lean down, blow a soft breath, and eat her out. The sight alone was a decadence, but the sensation, goodness, the sensation was something beyond earthly.

Your tongue lolled out, wide and flat, before your head moved forward and licked a bold stripe from above her spasming hole, slowly up to her nub, creating the motions in a relentless tempo, building, coaxing her toward that precipice with each stride and press. She was opening, trembling, clutching under the luxury of your mouth.

You added your digits once more into the mix, into the soaking heat of her, filling, stretching, curling just right. You hummed into her cunt, fingers accelerating, beckoning her orgasm forth. “You’re close, love? Gonna come around my fingers?”

Your words had opened the floodgates of ecstasy within her. You could feel her convulsing around your fingers. “I wanna make you happy.”

You added another one and she palmed at her tits as you pumped her. She breathed in deep, matching your rising chest. Your eyes carried something, it was hard to decipher at first, but when you spoke, her smeared mouth twitched in familiarity at your words.

Your mind… your mind had already drifted to the secret she kept, the one you had both indulged in before. The items she kept so discreetly tucked away — elegant, carefully hidden, but not unknown to you. Of course Avis Amberg, well connected and wealthy, had connections to such items.

Her lower lip curled its way between her teeth while the ends hoisted into a soft grin, “Yeah? What do you wanna do to make momma happy?”

“Avis…” you rasped, “I want to use one of your little secrets on you tonight.”

You did not miss the flicker of excitement that sparked in her eyes — lustful starvation and something even softer beneath it. “Which one?” she breathed out, hands running through your hair.

You grinned a bit, pace escalating, hardening between her thighs and you murmured against her stomach, “The one that lets me fuck you properly.”

The sound she made was somewhere between a gasp and a moan, her body already arching toward you and you seized that in uttering more words, suckling softly at the skin. “I want to fuck you, wanna make momma feel so good.”

“Hmm, yes, yes, shit, baby do whatever you want—” You felt it, the etchings of her awaiting orgasm. It was right there, so close she imagined tasting it. Yet it never came. You had committed your first act of cruelty of the night, the one she did not expect especially tonight; you had denied Avis Amberg her release.

Your fingers left her squirming hole and were brought up to her parted lips, stopping the spills of retorts and moans. “Not yet.”

Frustration colored her features, but she eased when you pecked her lips, once, twice, and retracted. You retrieved the toy from her dresser; the contents were just as you remembered: delicate silk ties, polished glass, smooth shapes made of fine materials, and your fingers brushed over it — dark, sleek.

She could not help the breathless laugh leaving her at your anticipation, biting her lip before muttering a soft, “Come here.”

You stood before her, and she scooted at the edge of the bed, her hands hot and sure as they slid along your waist. She helped you, steady and practiced, the leather straps sliding around your hips, fingers adjusting the buckles, brushing against your skin teasingly as she worked.

When it was finally in place, her hands remained at the front of your abdomen, and her chin tipped up to look at you, dark lashes fluttering. “You wear it well, darling.”

Your kiss deepened, murmuring against her mouth, "Lay back for me."

You reached your hand between both your bodies, gripping the lathered dildo, and positioned it at her sopping entrance as she sprawled herself open with two fingers. One more glance and her eyes spoke more than enough. "I'm ready for you."

You obliged, and the feeling of you entering her was overwhelming, the stretch burning only slightly. You moved in gently until the entire length of the strap pushed inside her wanting hole.

“Oh fuck!” The cry jumped from her throat to your ears. It was enough to ignite the flame within you, one that blazed brightly. Your thrusts angled as her breathing picked up. Digits flexed around her hips, pushing into the impressionable sensitive flesh with your thumbs as you fucked into her in a measured pace.

Wet lips caught hers for a passion-filled kiss and both of her legs hooked around your hips. “How does that feel?”

All she could manage were incoherent slurred babbles. Carmine nails chafed your back, pulling you closer than humanly possible, and her stiff peaks penetrated into your breasts. Wielding power to make Avis feel every single divot as you fucked her amplified your own lusty desires.

“I need you to speak when you are spoken to. Can you do that for me?”

You did not believe it possible that Avis could get any wetter, but my, she was full of surprises. Her juices lubricated your drilling, making your job easier as you pulled back completely before shoving back in.

“Y-yes, yes — I-it's perfect, you're making momma feel so good.” You smiled then at how her face crumbled, your pounding lessening its pace, however you did not lose its hard impact. "B-baby, go faster, please—"

“Not yet, love. I want you to feel everything I'm giving you.” You continued your slow, languid jolts, and she wanted to wail. The deeper you plummeted, the higher she unraveled — each nudging stroke drawing her closer to that edge, closer to the place where she felt most at home. She belonged here, beneath you, cradled in your arms, her body yielding so perfectly to yours.

“You know why I'm doing this? Hmm?” You burrowed your face into her perspired neck, gnawing the spot lightly, tongue slowly gathering every individual droplet that it made her moan straight into your ear.

The action steadied you somehow, allowing you to dive the dildo in further, to hit her bundle of nerves deep within. This angle was new, but held the same severity.

"Because you deserve it, Avis," You pulled out, filling her up once more without warning. "You deserve all good things. You're so fucking perfect for me. You know that, right?"

The tip of her nose brushed the side of yours as she nodded, but that did not satisfy you. "Words, momma. I need to hear you."

How good you were to her. How she wallowed in that dominating side you had, besides always wanting to take care of her with your affections. Avis would never tire of it. "I-know that, y/n, I'm perfect for you—"

"That's right, yes you are—" You grunted at her words, rocking in and out of her cunt and finally speeding up. Every jerk of your hips drew her orgasm near and she latched on to that feeling, that ceaseless yank.

"You're gonna come, love?" Lips wrapped around her nipple, nipping at it.

Fingernails practically sliced the skin at your shoulder blades. The jolting pain caused you to hiss, combining with the lustrous joy you were experiencing. “Yes! Make me come, baby, I need it—”

An ocean of thoughts swam through your hazed mind, not a single one of them a coherent one. There was never a moment when you did not believe Avis Amberg was stunning, a single glance at her and you were ruined and drenched, but fuck, when she came? All kinds of things it did to you, bringing forth moans from your throat.

Her moan was boisterous, booming, certain to startle those outside of these four walls, the entire household even. It made you come seconds after her, your forehead collapsing to her swaying breasts.

You gently pulled out of her and heard her shudder out a soft moan, immediately missing the feeling of being filled. Soft kisses were nuzzled between her breasts, gently moving aside her disheveled curls to ascend your kisses over her collarbones and shoulders as you soothed her.

“I know, love, I know.”

Words were caught in her throat, vision yet to return to its normalcy. "B-baby, I-I-"

You only shook your head and sweetly kneaded her hips. " 'T's okay. Would you like a massage? Does that sound good to you, Avis?"

Her head fell back against the cushion, still catching her breath. Her hand lifted in the air before giving you a loose flick of her wrist that indicated a 'yes'.

You chuckled and leaned down, placing a kiss on her cheek, then her mouth. "I adore you."

Avis huffed out a chuckle and watched as you got up. "And I love you, sweetheart. Thank you ... for taking care of me."

You settled back onto the bed with her preferred soothing oils, and you simpered at her soft expressions. "oh, just wait till you see how I take care of you even more later."

She hummed at the feel of your lips latching on her neck, already anticipating for that later to inch closer. "Momma."

"How does it feel having me deep inside you, hm?" It was a rhetorical statement this time — Avis could not form a response, not with the way you had her positioned, in her request. Arms were stretched out against the mattress, hands rumpling the sheets, the side of her face embedded in the pillows tucked beneath, the soft material smudging the remains of makeup.

Yet you enjoyed hearing Avis struggle as your strap tunneled into her cunt from behind, so you queried her again, a tinge of firmness. “You didn't hear me, momma?”

Avis gasped something out of place and you chuckled before dragging the girth's expanse back into her in rapid strokes. The third orgasm of the night was reaching its peak, and you made sure it dragged out as long as it could the last round. This time, you decided to be fair, fingers snaking their way from her hip down to her clit and rubbed generously.

"it feels great — Fuck! O-oh, keep going! c-close—"

"We're almost there, momma. Almost there. Fuck, just look at how well you take my cock." Her depths enveloped you so perfectly, gushing, gliding, squelching louder at your salacious speech.

Your spine curved, breasts pushed against her upper back and your arm looped around her middle to hoist her up a bit. Just sufficient enough for your lips could soothe the flushed shell of her bejeweled ear. "Come on, give it to me."

Her fingernails dug into the sheets at this angle, cheek mushed against plushness, and Avis was unraveling with you inside her, knocking with full force against the spot that spiraled her.

You kissed the slope of her shoulders, lips tracing over each freckle stroked by time and crease carved within her flesh. She gasped, threading through each individual letter of your name, and she sank into the mattress. Your touch followed, avid fingers squeezing over the swell of her ass, crest of her hips, tremble of her thighs, soft slope of her stomach, hushed praises sinking into her bones.

Panting, she tipped her head back, gaze slipping over her shoulder, half-lidded. As you pried out of her fluttering hole, kisses still being delivered upon her skin, her hand reached back to tug on your hair in hopes to get your attention. "Darling."

Your smile was second nature when you stared into those whiskey irises, knowing exactly what she wanted. Your neck bent, lips coming down to meet hers sweetly, considerately. The kiss was lingering, exactly what she anticipated as she spoke an 'I love you'. The gentleness of it, the affection that powered it.

You pressed one more kiss to her smiling mouth, you knew there was nothing you would not give her, no part of yourself you would not offer. Because Avis Amberg deserved this, all of it. The softness, the fervency, the love. And you would spend every moment you had making sure she never forgot it.

#live love avis #avis amberg hollywood #avis amberg x reader #patti lupone #Avis Amberg smut #patti lupone x reader #𝐢𝐫𝐲𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 ── 🎐ᝰ.

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urdsstiny · 12 hours ago

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I WANNA BE YOURS | hamzah

the past few days had been challenging for both Hamzah and his roommate, you. your relationship was always a bit strange; you never viewed each other as anything beyond friends, but that was a far cry from the truth.

occasionally, you’d find yourself entwined with him, breathless and sweaty, yet either of you ever discussed it or reflected on those moments. you were just roommates—nothing more.

however, when you brought a reoccurring guest home again, hamzah felt a wave of confusion wash over him. jealously was definitely a part of it. and now, she was introducing them again.

as hamzah stepped into the apartment, he took off his hat with a sigh as it hit the floor. he had been busy filming a vlog all day with martin and hadn’t even noticed that you had brought that guy over again until he emerged from your bedroom, shirtless. from the flushed look on his face, hamzah knew why he’d come over.

"hey dude." the guy greeted him as he brushed by him to the door, a cocky smile on his face. as soon as the guy entered his field of vision, he felt anger boil in his veins. the guys cocky little smirk just making him even more irritated.

"hey." hamzah replied back, forcing a small smile. he moved his gaze away from the guys semi-exposed chest to you, who was exiting your bedroom with a yawn. you didn’t noticed him at first, only finally spotting him when you entered the kitchen. “oh, hey. how was work?”

as you crossed into the kitchen, hamzah followed behind, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "it was alright." he replied, his gaze still eyeing the guy through the window, watching him walk down the sidewalk with a few of his friends.

hamzah looked away as he leaned back in the chair. "y'know, it's kind of strange that you've been bringing that guy over so often." you frowned slightly as you began to make some noodles, too late at night to justify anything more.

"how is that strange?" seeing you begin to mess with the noodles, brought hamzah’s attention away from the window and to you. though his frown stayed on his face. "because it just is. i mean who is he? and does he have to come shirtless every time you bring him over?"

"well," you smirk, "he's gonna end up naked anyways. it's called time saving." you joked as you looked back at hamzah, realising he was not finding it as amusing as you.

and just like that, the irritation was back. the mention of the guy ending up naked and you sleeping with him, just made it worse. he scoffed, bringing a hand to his forehead with a sigh, before mumbling something under his breath.

"what was that?" you asked, not realising you were poking the bear with your question. he raised his head, looking you in the eyes. “you really want to know what i said?" he asked, moving his hand to grip the edge of the table.

you nodded, words failing you as you watched his eyes darken. they looked over your body, clad in an oversized shirt and shorts that were invisible underneath the top. it made hamzah's heart pound harder against his ribcage. he stood from the seat before moving to you, stopping once he was directly in front of you. his gaze scanning over your body before meeting your eyes. "i said, that i'm sick of that guy coming around."

"why?" you lose your nerve slightly at him so close to you "it's not as if he bothers you." as soon as you replied back, the thought of that guy touching you in all of the places that make you squirm, filled his mind. hamzah took a step closer, crowding you up against the counter. "but he does bother me."

"why? did he do something?”

"yes, he did do something. he came here." hamzah replied, voice dropping to a near whisper, his gaze going down to your lips for a split second. your chuckles grew dry as you realised what he was implying. you stood silent for a moment, glancing up at him. "are you jealous, hamzah?"

hamzah's jaw tightened at the mention of jealousy, his gaze hardening. "no." he replied, the lie leaving a bad taste in his mouth. he was jealous, so jealous. he leaned down, his face mere inches away from your own. "why would i be jealous?"

"because you wish you were him.” you choked out, trying to keep the same confidence you had entered the conversation with. it was hard with him looming over you, his gaze making you tremble.

hamzah froze, feeling his heart pound even harder. you were right. he wanted to be the one. he pushed away the thought, trying to fight the growing urge to pin you against the counter. "why would i want that?" he asked, looking straight into your eyes.

you smiled, giving him a sultry look as you answered. "i'm not answering that for you, hamzah." you stated before turning, finishing your noodles. the moment you turned, showing more of your thighs as your shirt rode up, hamzah swallowed as he took in the sight.

he fought the urge to grab your waist and pull you to him, the look on your face making him want to rip away that shirt. he watched as you finished up your noodles, still fighting against the growing urge to touch you. he knew he should leave the kitchen but he couldn't bring himself to move.

you finished with making your food, standing still as you waited to see if hamzah was going to make a move. your chest pounded as you waited on something, anything, words or even just touch. you craved it.

you just standing there, waiting for his next move... it was driving him crazy. he needed to touch you, he needed to hear you say his name. hamzah's hands came to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him. your thin shirts the only thing separating the two of you.

you felt his hands come forward to grip your hips as he leaned down into your ear. he pressed up closely against your back, the feel of his hard chest against you making your skin ignite. he leaned forward, his breath fanning over your ear.

"do you have any idea of what you do to me." he questioned, his low voice sending a shiver down your spine. you giggled, and his grip tightened. "maybe."

hamzah's jaw clenched at your response, the grip on your hips tightening. "you’re brat." he whispered, before biting your earlobe. you spun around, his hands moving down slightly as you leaned forward. "what are you gonna do?"

his hands slid to your backside, gripping hard. hamzah looked into your eyes before suddenly picking you up, placing you on the counter. "i think we both know the answer to that." you smirked as you finally leaned in, pressing your lips to his while your hands gripped his shoulders.

he leaned in, meeting you halfway as he pushed his lips against yours, his hands moving up to thread through your hair. hamzah pulled away for just a moment, taking in the sight before him. "i can't stand that there's other guys out there touching you." he said, before connecting his lips to your own once more.

hamzah started pressing small kisses along your jawline, before moving down to your neck. once he reached your sweet spot, he bit down on the sensitive flesh, before sucking and marking it red. he pulled back, staring at the mark before growling and attaching himself to your neck once more.

"that's not m'fault." you murmured as you moved ur neck to give him more access. "i know it's not." he replied against your neck, he slowly moved down, leaving a large trail of marks along your neck, before he reached the hem of your shirt. pulling away for a moment, he looked into your eyes as he tugged on the material. "this really needs to come off."

"i’m not having another one nightstand with you, hamzah." you couldn't be only with him once. he was addictive. he watched as you grew vulnerable, and for a moment, he knew then that was it for him. he would never want anyone else.

he watched as you grew vulnerable, and for a moment, he knew then that was it for him. he would never want anyone else. he shook the thought away, before leaning forward, so his mouth was close to your ear. "i don't want a one nightstand either." he replied, his fingers tugging on the shirt. "i want to make you mine, and only mine."

“make me yours, hamzah.”

#slushy noobz #hamzahthefantastic #hamzahthefantastic x reader #hamzah imagines #hamzah oneshot #hamzahthefanatasticxreader #hamzah fluff #hamzahangst #hamzah fic #hamzah x y/n #hamzah x reader #hamzah angst #fics

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ladykailitha · 1 day ago

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Murder in the Heartland Part 1

Here it is, the most wonderfully insane idea I've ever come up with and I've had some whoppers (Steve in a mental institution and Vecna's Timeloop from Hell for example). This is still the wildest. Only that's a twist that's coming up way down the line. My wonderful discord peeps @forgottenkanji, @dreamercec, @bookworm0690 know all, but you'd have to join my discord to be in on the secret (there are other lurkers there who might know, but they might not *shrug*).

Summary: When a serial killer strikes Hawkins, the police zero in on Eddie Munson. But when the last would-be victim Robin Buckley says that it Jason Carver who was trying to kill her and not Eddie, the police are further put in their place by an anonymous tipper who did all the work they should have done instead of going after clearly innocent Eddie. So Eddie becomes a PI to find this anonymous tipper. Featuring Mystery Writer Steve, who will play into the later plot. ;)

You will see snippets of Steve as the story goes on, but it will be Eddie's story for about 2/3 of it. It is also set in canon time for reasons that will become clear as the story goes on.

Interviewer: I’m here with Steve Harrington who has put just put out his seven novel in the thrilling Joe Keery books, ‘The Hollow Promise’. How are you this morning?

Steve chuckled: I’m tired. I’m a writer, I spend all my nights writing and my days sleeping, so this is a little outside my normal waking hours.

Interviewer: Gosh I wish I could do that, but I chose to have a morning talk show instead. Won’t you tell the listeners about your latest book.”

Steve: It’s about a series of murders in a small town and our hero comes to town to investigate and finds a bigger mystery than he anticipated.

Eddie’s life went to hell the day Steve Harrington blew town. Not that he would find that out until years later. But then again people were more preoccupied with Robin Buckley swearing up and down that Jason Carver who had been trying to kill her and not Eddie than remember a kid being thrown out of his parents place for being gay so... yeah.

Well, okay, so his life had been hell a little bit before Steve blew town. But that wasn’t as interesting an opening as the day Steve blew town. So he still had a flare for the dramatic, sue him. After all it was that flare that made him become a private investigator in the first place.

When Chrissy Cunningham had been murdered just after Eddie dealt her Special K, that made him the prime suspect in her death.

Which, rude.

She had been dealing with some pretty fucked up shit. Like being queer in a small town levels of shit on top of her mom being constantly on about her weight and her boyfriend pressuring her wear a promise ring. In high school.

Then another student died. A boy on the basketball team, Patrick McKinney, who someone else claimed had bought steroids off Eddie. Which couldn’t have been true, not if it was performance enhancing drugs. He had offered to sell them to high schoolers when he first started dealing, but Rick assured him he already had someone for that.

Then another girl died. Someone Eddie hadn’t known. He knew of her. But she wasn’t even in any of his classes, in any of his senior years. She also didn’t do drugs. Hell, Molly Masters was a known Straight Edger. She wouldn’t have gone near Eddie unless she wanted to throw hands.

Which is why he was blamed for her death, actually. They insinuated that she had finally had enough of his drug dealing ways and had gone after him.

He even had an alibi for that one, not that it mattered. Playing in front of five random drunks and a stingy ass bartender wasn’t exactly as air tight as it could have been. Because as far as witnesses go, they were pretty shit.

Then Barb Holland died. And that was a kick in the teeth. He knew who she was but only in a tenuous ‘best friend of the girlfriend of the most popular boy in school’ kind of way. Eddie was starting to see the pattern, even if the cops didn’t.

Then the final one which ended in the death of Jason Carver, Chrissy’s boyfriend. Only Robin Buckley was still very much alive.

But for the those first three days, she was in a coma. So the police spun the narrative that Eddie had been trying to kill her when Jason had interrupted them; saving her life, but losing his in the process.

Until she woke up and blew the whole investigation out of the water.

“I’m telling you Jason Carver was trying to kill me,” she said for the tenth time to a motley crew of Hopper, Powell, and Callahan from her hospital bed.

“Now why would he go and do a thing like that for?” Powell huffed. “Jason was a good, upstanding young man. Captain of the basketball team. He loved Chrissy. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not for anything.”

Robin let out a long sigh of frustration and buried her head in her hands. She looked up at them, weighing her options before she finally snapped, “Because I’m a lesbian!”

They stared at her blankly.

“Apparently Chrissy was too and that’s why he killed her.”

“You telling me that Jason Carver, all American boy next door was a murderer killing queer kids?” Callahan huffed in disbelief. “There’s no way.”

“And I’m telling you it’s true,” Robin hissed. “Plus whoever saved my life and killed the rat bastard wasn’t Eddie Munson.” She crossed her arms over her chest and settled into the bed, grumpy.

Hopper pinched his nose. “Let’s say we follow this line of inquiry, why do you believe Eddie Munson wasn’t involved at all. You keep saying you never saw your rescuer’s face.”

She looked up at him like he was stupid. “Because the guy that took the bat to Jason’s head was wearing a short sleeve shirt.”

The cops all looked at each other in confusion.

Robin threw her arms up in the air. “No tattoos, assholes! Eddie very famously has bats on his...” she looked at her own arms for a second, “right forearm. And whoever this Jesus with a bat was, he didn’t have any tattoos on his arm.”

“Robin!” her mother admonished. Melissa Buckley was there to ensure that the police didn’t try and twist Robin’s words into saying something that wasn’t true.

Robin just shrugged, unrepentant. They were being assholes and someone should tell them to their faces.

“Well, shit!” Powell snapped, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. “If it wasn’t Eddie then who the fuck was it?”

Just then the door to Robin’s room burst open, startling all those inside. Officer Glenn Daniels came running up to Chief Hopper, a large envelope in his hands.

“Florence got this this morning,” Daniels said, panting for breath. “And we wanted to verify its authenticity before bringing it to you. So me and couple of the other officers looked into it.”

Hopper opened the envelope, his eyes growing wider the more and more he looked through it. “And how much it of is accurate?”

“All of it.”

“There is no way,” Hopper growled, slamming the envelope on Powell’s chest. “No evidence is that air tight. There must be some kind mistake or error in there somewhere.”

Powell took the envelope and looked down into it. His eyebrows shot up. “There are actual fucking writings by Carver in here. Where the hell did they find those?”

Daniels just shook his head. “Whoever found this shit was meticulous. There are no other fingerprints than Jason’s on anything. But there is a letter.”

Powell went searching through the envelope and pulled it out, handing it to the Chief, who read it, mumbling to himself.

“Well, as much as I would like to say the bastard is wrong,” Hopper said with a resigned sigh. “He’s not. Or she or whatever. They’re not wrong. The victims wouldn’t have gotten justice, not with them being queer. Jason would have been lauded a hero and paraded in the streets for taking out the trash.”

“‘To the police,” Powell read out loud. “I am sending you all the evidence you failed to collect when you were too busy trying to pin these murders on an innocent man. It didn’t take a lot to realize the true connection the victims had. I’m just sorry I was too late to save Molly Masters. She didn’t deserve to die in that horrible way.

“Once I figured out who it was, I knew that there would be no justice for these kids. Not when Jason Carver was who he was, and why he was killing his peers. So I quietly compiled all the evidence I could. His journals. His distinct lack of alibis for any of the murders. His emotional connection to the first victim, his girlfriend, Chrissy Cunningham.

“I’m just glad I was able to stop him from killing that final girl. But if she did die later, I hope Carver rots in the hell of his own making. No one deserves to die because of who they love.

“-Jason’s Executioner.”

“Well, that ain’t creepy as shit,” Callahan said sarcastically. “Well it’s not as though we could have used any of this evidence anyway.”

“And when is Eddie Munson being released?” Melissa huffed, pulling herself up to her nearly six feet of height.

Hopper blinked at her for a moment. “I’m not sure I understand the question, ma’am.”

“That boy is innocent!” Melissa said sternly. “And what? You’re going to just sweep this all under the rug and leave Jason Carver’s reputation intact?”

“That’s not what I said,” Hopper replied, low and dangerous. “And I don’t appreciate you putting words into my mouth.”

Melissa crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down.

“He is innocent of the murders, yes,” he said, “but he still sold an underaged girl ketamine. And last time I checked that was still very much against the law.”

“I don’t believe you actually have proof of that,” Melissa said with a winning smile.

“He confessed,” Powell said in confusion. “We have it on record of him confessing to selling the drugs.” He put his hands on his hips. “There’s no way he’s not going away for the drugs.”

“Under duress,” Melissa said smugly. “Which any lawyer worth his salt will get tossed out in a heartbeat. You have nothing on the boy and you know it.”

Robin grinned up at her. “Isn’t she so cool? And she’s my mom!”

“Stop calling him a boy!” Callahan hissed. “He’s twenty! He knew full well what he was doing and I’m not going to stand here and let you pretend otherwise.”

Melissa scoffed, eyeing him up and down with a raised eyebrow. “I’d call your dog to heel there, Chief, we wouldn’t want me to scream police intimidation, now would we?”

“Don’t make me arrest you, Mel,” Hopper growled. “Again.”

Melissa grinned up at the chief. They had been on very opposite sides of the Vietnam War. Him having been in the army and her having been in the protests against the War. Hawks and Doves.

“And just what would be the charge this time, Chief?” she asked with a wink.

Hopper squeezed his eyes closed and then opened them slowly. He let out a long exasperated sigh. “Eddie Munson will be released without charges by the end of today.”

But before his underlings could protest he held up his hands. “It’s either release him and sweep under the rug that some rank amateur or we don’t release him and Melissa here goes to the press about how we put away an innocent man and get the national media up in our business.”

They stared at him for a moment before they grumbling agreed. Hopper bid the Buckleys goodbye and then led his officers out the room.

So how did Eddie know all this? He talked to Hopper, Daniels and the Buckleys and while some details varied they pretty much confirmed that how it went down and how Eddie got out on a ‘technicality’ as the cops were calling it.

When he stepped out into the fresh air outside of the jail with Wayne waiting for him, he took a deep breath and let it go.

“I don’t know how you can stand living in this hell hole,” he groused as he hopped into Wayne’s truck.

“Can’t afford to leave,” Wayne huffed and started the truck. “If I could scrape up the money to get out of here, I would and I’d take you with me.”

Eddie gave his uncle’s shoulder a squeeze. “Maybe I’ll be able to get a job and get enough money for both of us out.”

“If wishes were horses,” Wayne said ruefully as he pulled out into traffic. “I’m just glad you were released without charges.”

“You and me both, old man,” Eddie huffed. “I was sure I was going to be Reading, Pennsylvania, Short Line and B&O railroaded.”

“Good thing Melissa Buckley was there when they interrogated her daughter,” Wayne growled. “Or you might still be sitting in that cell.”

“I hope you sent her flowers,” Eddie said. “She certainly deserves it.”

“Delilahs and some of my grandma’s shortbread,” Wayne confirmed. “I even offered to help out any handwork they may need in the future too. And if I were you I’d offer your way around an engine too.”

Eddie saluted. “Aye, Aye!”

Wayne snorted. “If the way she tells it is true, some rookie wannabe detective is the one that provided the most damning evidence against that Carver kid.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Eddie said with a snort. “These backwater cops wouldn’t know their ass from their elbow.”

“Still it makes you wonder who it was...” Wayne said softly as they turned into the trailer park.

“It certainly does that,” Eddie agreed. “It certainly does that.”

I am ridiculously pleased with the railroad joke. It still makes me smile every time.

Tag List: TEN SLOTS OPEN

1- @itsall-taken @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @irregular-child @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #mystery writer steve harrington #private investigator eddie munson #white knight steve harrington #actually billy hargrove friendly #are you as shocked as I am?

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im-so-tired-sorry · 3 days ago

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Can you please write about how traveler and katsuki has their first kiss?

Like it's night and kirishima has went to sleep with traveler on the edge of falling asleep and katsuki wide awake, traveler thinks something is wrong with katsuki so they ckeck on him and they talk for a bit. A few minutes into the talk traveler and katsuki randomly starts to talk about deep topics for example being kiddnaped by hawks or smth like that.

Katsuki comforts the traveler and then the traveler just quickly leans in for a kids without a warning or hesitation. Katsuki gets flustered when the traveler pulls from the kiss but his eyes softens before himself leaning for another kiss.

The next morning while they pack kirishima cant figure out why traveler and katsuki seems so shy around each other.

Sorry if this was too much to ask!

Love your stories btw❤️❤️

omg i’m so excited that this is my first ask!!!! so sorry if this is bad but i tried my best lmao ty for the love 🫶 i hope i did your request justice.

A/n: based off the Kiribaku fantasy series by Yuzuya on YT. it follows the world building and lore of that series. and for the sake of this ask, this piece will primarily be about Bakugo.

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I will always save you

fantasy!Katsuki Bakugo x gn!reader

All that could be heard from inside the tent were the leaves subtly blowing in the wind, a bird quietly singing a midnight sonnet, and Kirishima's light snoring from right behind you. You were on the brink of falling asleep before Kirishima adjusted his sleeping position and draped his arm over you, not only startling you from your sleeping trance but now added a weight to your side. But if you weren't more awake, you wouldn't have picked up the rustling of the tent fablic or how the moonlight shone on you for a moment before the tent's flap opening closed again.

That's what made you open your eyes to see that no one else was in the tent besides the crimson dragon. No blonde barbarian prince to be seen. You look towards the small opening in the tent cloth to see Bakugo sitting outside. It was odd considering how much he valued getting enough sleep before traveling days. The suspicion has you grab Kirishima's arm and move it off of you before getting up to join the blonde.

The night air was cool, with a cold front not too far behind. The more north the group travels, the colder the weather will become. Bakugo decided that the edge of a small forest upon a hill that overlooked an iced lake was the location to camp that night. It was his view as he sat at the end of the hill, by the fire that had been put out not too long ago.

"Got space for one more?" You ask as you approach.

"It's not like I can stop you from comin' over." Bakugo turns his head to catch you walking from the corner of his eye before turning back to the lake.

"You say that like i'm unwanted."

"Well you weren't invited."

“Ouch.” You say plopping down next to him and clutching at your heart for his hurtful words.

“Sorry,” he grumbles, “just frustrated ‘cause I can’t sleep.”

"Well... how come?"

Bakugo thinks to himself for a moment before rolling his eyes and scoffing.

“I had a nightmare last night. And now my stupid brain won’t let me sleep.”

This could've been a moment to tease him, but when would be the next time he decides to be vulnerable? You turn more towards him and ask,

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

You sit quietly for a moment, for maybe a minute or two, before thinking. Maybe you should be vulnerable first so he can be more comfortable.

“When Hawks kidnapped me, there was one night I had a nightmare. We were in Hadera. And when the ghoul spiders came down, I ran. I ran without giving a second thought ‘cause I was just… so scared. Kirishima called my name, you called my name, but I didn’t turn back. Then I heard you and Kirishima scream, and I knew you guys were being captured. The worst part of it all was that even though I was crying, that I was yelling ‘no’, I was still running… running like a coward. When I woke up the next morning, Hawks said I was sleep talking; that I was actually saying ‘no’ repeatedly.”

You look down at your fidgeting hands play with your nails. You couldn’t help but blush at the warmth of Bakugo’s finger as he brushed off the single tear that fell onto your cheek.

After pulling away, Bakugo looks back at the view and rolls his eyes again but it didn’t seem to be out of malice, more like out of annoyance for himself. He sits up and starts,

“We were traveling across the Yonara sea again, on the pirate’s boat. You were entranced by the siren’s song and I had just gotten out of our cabin. I ran to you… but I didn’t catch you. You fell.

I saw your face right before you hit the water. It’s like… at the last second you snapped back to reality. And your eyes… your eyes said it all. They said ‘this is where it ends. and you couldn’t save me.’ That look on your face is what scared me awake.”

“Oh… Katsuki-“

“I can’t bare the thought of you being in danger. And I feel like… almost every time we’re in a situation of danger, it’s because I got us there somehow. “

“And you have always saved me!” You are fully turned towards him now, cupping his jaw to have him face you. “These dreams… they’re based off our fear of losing each other. But in reality, we know we have each other’s backs.”

Putting a hand on your waist, Katsuki slightly leans in and quietly whispers,

“I will always save you.”

You throw him a teasing grin.

“Promise?”

You felt your cheeks blush all the way to your ears as he takes a quick glance at your lips before going back to eye contact and nodding.

“Promise.”

You hadn’t noticed that you were leaning into each other before you placed your lips on his. The quickness of closing the gap slightly startled you, but the constant tension of Katsuki’s figure is what advised you to pull away. Looking at his face, he is slightly wide eyed, with a pink glow forming across his face. But then his eyes relaxed and his shoulders dropped.

“I… am so sorry. I shouldn’t have-“

You had no time to react as Katsuki cups your face and kisses you; a deep, romantic kiss that immediately invites you to kiss back. It’s a tender moment, one with no rush. The warmth of his lips sends shivers through your arms and down your spine. Time might as well have stopped to allow this moment to exist in peace.

When you both pull away, your lips are slightly grazing, allowing you to breath each others’ air. You stay like that for a moment as you touch foreheads, saying nothing and letting the moment linger in the winter air. Finally, Katsuki speaks,

“We should… we should head in for the night.”

You take a beat, still catching your breath, before nodding, and being the first to get up and head for the tent. That night you lay back into your spot by Kirishima, and Katsuki lays beside you. He touches your forehead with his once more before snuggling up for you to fall asleep.

—————

The next morning, you woke up to Kirishima and Katsuki bickering about who would have to carry what on the next day of their journey. As funny as their squabble was, you couldn’t help but be distracted recounting last night’s events in your mind. Figuring out what the kiss meant and how that would affect the journey and the relationships of the group was something that needed a lot of thought and mature conversations. But that could be put off for another time when they weren’t in such a rush to get back on the road to the alter.

Breakfast was quiet other than the birds singing a morning lullaby and Kirishima happily enjoying his meal. Quick glances with Katsuki would result in immediate blushes and looking away. And as much as you tried to be subtle about it, Kirishima started to catch a pattern in both of your behaviors.

“Did I miss something?” Kirishima finally asks, shifting his eyes between you and Katsuki.

You look up from your rations and try to put on your most oblivious look, “What do you mean?”

“You both are acting…weird”

“Nothing’s weird shitty scales! Just… finish your breakfast and help me pack the tent” Katsuki exclaims, getting up and walking away to pack the bags. Kirishima gains a confused look for the prince’s yell+pink face combo before slowly shifting a side eye in your direction.

“I’ll tell you later.” You whisper at the dragon with a small smirk on your face. Kirishima’s eyes widen as a grin appears on his face as if his suspicions had been confirmed.

After breakfast, you all pack your bags and set off to continue your adventure to the mountains. While walking and thinking to yourself, you couldn’t decide what you were afraid of more: the challenges you have yet to face on this journey or the fact the whatever you have with Bakugo would only last until the end of the year-long journey and you inevitably go home to your world.

As much as your fears worried you, the fact was that you weren’t alone. You had a dragon with a determination to keep his promise to get you home and a barbarian who would do anything to protect you, even if it started by telling you to “hurry up” as you slightly trailed behind, and called you a “slowpoke” with a grin on his face.

You knew that no creature or monster would come close to hurting you with Katsuki by your side. You knew, no matter what, you would be safe.

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#bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo katuski #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha eijiro kirishima #katsuki bakugo #kiribaku x reader #kiribaku x y/n #bakugou x reader #bhna bakugou #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou

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gorbo-longstocking · 2 days ago

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Cover It Up | Modern!Caracalla x GN!Reader

Summary: Every few nights, like clockwork, Caracalla shows up at your door, drunk, or high, or both. There is so much that he says, and so little that you can bring yourself to tell him. It’s the same now as it always is.

Tags: Modern AU, GN!Reader, references to drugs and alcohol, implied past child abuse (Caracalla), implied addiction problems (Caracalla), so much yearning, reader is a medical student, kind of sad and angsty, this is technically an side story to my main fic Do Not Blame the Sea but it can be read as its own thing, Caracalla and Reader’s relationship here sort of parallels how it is in the main fic

Word Count: 1.7k Words

Song: Lost Kitten - Metric

Do Not Blame the Sea Masterlist

Before the door even opened, you knew who was standing on your doorstep. Who else would visit you in the late hours of the night when the moon was drifting lower on the horizon in order to make way for the sun? You couldn’t name another person in your life who would dare bother you during the few seconds of solitude you so desperately craved. No one else would expect you to be awake. Not your parents who would lose their minds if they discovered you were doing anything but sleeping or studying, and certainly not your fair-weather friends from college who knew nothing of your insomniac tendencies. It was always him. The one you’d drop everything for, no matter what it was.

It was always Caracalla who knocked on your door.

“Good morning, doctor.” He leaned on your porch railing, his feet unsteady. The stench of booze radiated off of him in waves, nearly suffocating in its intensity. On his chin, vomit was crusted to his skin, and you let out a sigh.

“Caracalla, I don’t think anyone would consider it morning yet. Come in.”

You always thought he was beautiful with the night sky behind him. While your apartment was nestled too far in the city for there to be stars, the midnight blue complimented his eyes perfectly. His imperfections were hidden during the day when you saw him on campus, that was when he was far too fixated on hiding them. It was only at this hour, when sweat made his makeup run, revealing acne and pockmarks, and the humidity made his red hair curl, did you think he was more handsome than you had ever seen him. Caracalla would never believe you if you told him. If anything, he would believe your words to be a joke. So, like all thoughts in regards to your affections for him, you kept them to yourself.

Reaching out an arm, you opened the door wide to help him inside. His hand was clammy, far too warm to match his drunken flush. Judging by the size of his pupils, alcohol wasn’t all he had gotten into. You had known Caracalla long enough to know his drug of choice tended to be cocaine, though with a frustrating tendency to indulge especially when he didn’t know what he was taking. The likelihood he simply ate a random pill he found on the floor of a frat house was annoyingly high. He giggled as he clumsily made his way in the door, pressing his body against yours. Despite his rancid state, you found yourself craving his warmth. You always did.

“Doctor, doctor, I need my doctor,” Caracalla slurred as you led him to the couch. When he flopped onto the cushions, his eyelids fluttered shut before he forced them open again. That made it easier to guess what was in his system, it meant whatever he took wasn’t an upper. “Need you to take care of me. Get to it.” He was always so demanding, and a bit of fondness fought with your exasperation. Before you left to get him a glass of water, he reached out to wrap delicate fingers around your wrist. “I’ve missed you.”

You missed him too. In order to keep the words from spilling out, you gave him a tight smile and pulled away. His glassy eyes flickered with a familiar frustration you paid no mind. Once you were in the kitchen, you fell into a routine. Water to hydrate him, a wet towel to wipe the vomit from his chin, and some tylenol for the morning. Like every night Caracalla came, you would tell him to sleep on the couch, and like every night since you met him, he would find his way into your bed. You set the medicine on your night stand.

“Tell me you missed me too,” He demanded once you were in his line of sight. His eyes were squinted, unable to open them any wider than they were. When you handed him the water, he drank greedily, and before he could wipe his chin with his sleeve, you crouched down to wipe him clean. Caracalla hummed, nearly a purr, as you steadied yourself with a hand against his cheek, leaning into your touch. “I know you did, I can feel it.”

“I’m surprised you can feel anything aside from how badly the room is spinning,” You grumbled.

Caracalla laughed, high-pitched and sharp. His gold tooth glinted in the dim light. “I must be dreaming, but I see four of you, doctor. Surely one must want to soothe my aches.”

“Those aches better be the urge to sleep.” The wet rag you were using caught on his bottom lip, dragging it down. Over a year of yearning made you stare, though you would never dream of taking advantage of him in this state.

Caracalla followed your gaze to his mouth and he smirked. His voice fell into a whisper, breath hot against your face. “The urge to fuck.”

“My answer is the same as always, Caracalla.” Before you removed your hand from him, you gave him a firm pat on the cheek. Disappointment made his face scrunch up. It was a cute expression, and maybe it was a quarter of the reason you kept turning him down. The other half being the fact he was only ever intoxicated when you were together, and the final quarter being your parents inevitable disapproval. “It’ll never happen.”

Caracalla stood, swaying in place for a moment. Once he found his balance, he stumbled the memorized route to your bedroom to curl into his side of the bed. It was embarrassing to realize that he had his own spot in your home now, but with how often he showed up, it only made sense.

A year and a half ago, you wanted nothing to do with Caracalla. You barely knew he existed outside of the rumors that followed him like a plague. Of his pet monkey that made him a miserable roommate in the dorms, of the fact he was a walking petri dish of STDs, his promiscuity, his tendency towards hedonism over his grades, and most of all, the fact his daddy knew the dean personally, so it wasn’t as if he could get in any lasting trouble for any of it. He was in your biology class three semesters ago. Like most people he considered below him, he paid you no mind until you were stuck together on a group project. You intended to do all of the work if only to avoid him, and he seemed content to let you.

You hadn’t meant to find him hysterical and barely coherent in his dorm, nor did you mean to endear yourself to him as entirely as you by calming him down. Apparently, his father had left him quite the nasty voicemail. You didn’t listen, you deleted it the second you got ahold of his phone, but you could put the pieces together well enough. Especially with the half-sobbed pleas for mercy Caracalla cried into your chest.

After that, Caracalla latched on, and like mold on bread, he grew on you. During the day, he barely paid you any attention. It was only at night did he make his affections known, drunk, or high, or both, always showing up when the rest of the world was asleep. You didn’t know why he bothered. If he truly meant what he said, surely he wouldn’t ignore you as he did during the day. When he kissed other people, he made sure you knew, watching your expression out of the corner of his eye. There was a lot about Caracalla you didn’t understand, and you were certain you never would. You wanted to, though. That was why you buried yourself against his side, slinging his arm over your shoulders to help him into your bed.

This was how the night always ended, Caracalla in your arms, snoring away. This time, however, he remained awake, staring up at you. It was obvious it was taking everything he had to stay awake. He took turns closing each eye, one resting while the other bored into you.

“Go to sleep,” You muttered.

Caracalla whined and rubbed his cheek against yours. “I don’t want this to end.”

The admission made your breath catch in your throat. You didn’t want this to end either. He was always gone by the time you woke up.

“Then don’t leave.”

His fingers tightened in the fabric of your pajamas. “It’s better that I do, my doctor.”

“Caracalla.” Licking your dry lips, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. “Why do you always come back? If you’re not going to stay, why do you look for me like this?”

He hummed, and for a moment, you didn’t think he’d respond. Finally, clumsy and slurred, the words tumbled out of his mouth and burrowed into your chest, “You make me feel safe.”

You wished he could say it when he wasn’t on some pill when it actually meant something. Still, you couldn’t help the flutter your heart gave. Your eyes burned as you tightened your grip on his body. “I hate it when you’re like this.”

“I hate it when I’m sober,” Caracalla sleepily replied. “I remember too much.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you let yourself ask, “Do you forget these nights too? Is that why you hardly look at me when we’re on campus.”

“I could never forget you.” He was drifting now, and with a deep breath, he forced himself to hover over you, his palm planted on the mattress beside you. With a desperation you shared, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Kiss me.”

It took everything you had to turn away. “Not when you’re like this. When you're sober, I will. I promise.”

Defeated, Caracalla let himself slump back against you.

“I’m never sober.”

“Then you know what my answer is.”

With him curled around you, you barely heard it, the same confession he made every night, spoken with the conviction you tried to ignore. “I love you.”

You didn’t respond.

A minute passed in silence, the only sound in your small bedroom the sound of your mingled breathing. Gently, you shook Caracalla to make certain he was asleep, and when he didn’t move, you told him what you’d been hiding since the first day you held him. Your own declaration that made your stomach churn with fear.

“I love you too.”

And, like every night, Caracalla didn’t hear.

A/N: I know I said that I wasn’t going to do DNBTS oneshots, but I listened to Lost Kitten by Metric and saw visions of this. This is sort of a tumblr only fic, I dunno if I’m gonna out this on AO3?? I gotta think on it. Like I said in the tags, this is supposed to sort of mirror where Caracalla and Alga are relationship wise in DNBTS, just a smidge angstier. Caracalla unable to truly be with Alga in the way he desperately wants due to public perception, but until he can, Alga will continue to push him away despite wanting him too. Cue insane amounts of yearning. Also something, something Caracalla is incapable of change.

For those who don’t know what Do Not Blame the Sea is, it’s my main fic! So, if you liked this, go check that out, hehe. I don’t have much to say here, really, so this author’s note will be short. Bye-bye! I hope you enjoyed this little thingy, please like, reply, or reblog if you did! It’ll encourage me to indulge in more side stories and AU’s <3

#emperor caracalla x reader #emperor caracalla x you #caracalla x gn!reader #gladiator ii #gladiator 2 fanfiction #gladiator 2

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roc-haze · 1 day ago

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Tis The Damn Season | ArthurTV

In which Arthur is your best friend.

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Get on the plane. Fly. See your friends. See your ex. Forget why you broke up. Get back on the plane. Fly. Reopen the wound. Repeat.

Moving away to pursue your dreams felt like breaking free. Unbridled opportunity, a new city, separation from the family and friends who don’t quite get you. Ending a relationship around the same time as the move was weirdly liberating and ultimately inevitable. James, your partner, was happy to stay put and had no real desire to move on from the small town in which you grew up.

One of your good friends, Arthur, had experienced the highs and lows of leaving it all behind.

“Let me know when you’re home, and I’ll come over to debrief. The small town fatigue hits hard.” He grinned, embracing you in a huge hug at Heathrow Airport.

Two weeks later, here you were. The flight had gotten in around 8pm, jumping in a taxi and immediately heading straight for your flat. By 9pm, you found yourself laying on top of the duvet, candles lit across the room and a vinyl playing quietly in the background.

The sound of a key turning in the lock echoed throughout the flat, followed by rustling and a quiet “hi mate”. A few moments later, Arthur entered through the doorway and crossed the room to side beside you.

“I had a feeling I might find you like this.” Arthur put down the tote bag he was carrying, laying down next to you.

“What gave it away?” Your voice monotone, lacking any real emotion.

“The photos of James on your story. You looked a little too happy.” Arthur lay staring at the ceiling, not wanting to say too much.

“I think he has a way of pulling me back in,” you let out a sigh, eyes fixated on a mark on the ceiling. “It’s just nice to have someone know you so well… like I forget what it’s like to not have this urge to fill the silence or to make myself exciting to someone else.”

Silence fell over the room, Arthur allowing you the space to vent.

“It’s just fucked, Arthur. God forbid I have a desire to move away and better my life. I mean, look at me. I have a great, fulfilling career. Incredible friends. Am I not worth changing for? He’s acting as if I’m babe for the weekend.” Your voice trembled, eyes watering.

“Do you want an actual answer to that? Or would you prefer to vent?” Arthur asked cautiously.

“Both.” You finally shifted to look at Arthur.

“For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always made space for him in your dreams. You’ve had a goal, a plan on how to get there and so far, you’ve done everything you’ve set your mind to. Some people are just content with what’s in front of them… James is one of them.” Arthur smiled softly.

“I just don’t understand. I don’t see him for months, we see each other again and it sounds like he’s reconsidered and is ready to move. Only for him to turn me down all over again.” Your hands made their way to your face, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not worth it or you’re not enough to move for. It’s just an indicator that he’s not your forever person. The right person will be sure about you… they won’t have to reconsider. They’ll know.” God, Arthur was annoying when he was right.

“You’re probably right.” You sat up against the frame of the bed. “Please tell me you brought wine with you.”

Arthur followed suit, standing up to retrieve his bag. “Of course I did! I have some picky bits too.” He pulled two bottles of wine out of his bag, before holding up an array of snacks.

“You are a man after my own heart, Mr TV.” You gave him a small grin, rising to your feet.

“Shall we go commiserate on the couch? There’s a new episode of 90 Day Fiancé out.” Arthur handed you the wine, throwing an arm over your shoulder and directing you through to the living area. “Just out of curiosity.. do you think you’ll be dating anytime soon? George asked me to put in a good word.”

You laughed, jabbing the man lightly. “For George, I’m free any day of the week.”

——

Author’s note:

Won’t lie friends - this is based on my life at the minute oops. I am in my sad girl Taylor Swift era at the moment 🥲

Working on a Will fic! Please send through any requests 🫶

Deliberately did not pick a small town as I am not British hehe pls imagine for yourself xx

#uk youtuber #arthur tv x reader #arthur frederick #george clarke x reader #george clarke #willne

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lucysarah-c · 2 days ago

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Hi! How are you? I have recently (a few weeks ago (I think)) found your blog and I absolutly love your storys and you.

What are your HC about levi having an S/O who talkes in her sleep or in generell has very intens dreams were she talks clear sentences, crys, moves alot and more

Thankyou if you answer ♡◇♧

Hi hi, love! How are you? I’m doing great, thank you for asking!

I’m so happy you’re enjoying my blog so far—I hope I keep writing things you love just as much!

Now, about Levi and sleep talking… The real issue? He’s not going to realize you’re asleep at first. He’ll hear you, respond, and then suddenly notice you’re still out cold and just be like, What the hell? He’ll be so confused. And if you say something ridiculous? Oh, he’s never letting that go. This man will bring it up at your funeral if he has to.

The bigger problem, though, is that Levi is a ridiculously light sleeper. He already barely gets any sleep, and if you move too much, kick, or talk in your sleep, he’s going to wake up. And then that’s it—he’s up for the rest of the night.

So, unless you only share a bed when you’re fucking haha he might struggle with it. He’d put up with it, of course, but you’re going to keep waking him up, and that’s going to be rough on both of you.

But at the end of the day, he’ll mostly just take it as a joke and never let you forget what you said in your sleep. With love, of course.

That’s it! Have a lovely day or night. Kisses! 💕

Did you enjoy this headcanon? I have two entire masterlists full of them! Here's a link!

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secret-moonstruck · 9 hours ago

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How you see me? | k. sn

— Pairing: sunoo x fem!reader | (Masterlist)

— Synopsis: Y/N and Sunoo were just friends, even though she liked him, she never had hope because her friend was gay…what chance would she have.

— Genre: smut

— Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, praising, cum inside, making out, clit play, begging, hickeys, cum eating, overstimulation.

— Notes: I'm new to this writing thing, and English is not my first language. Sorry for not writing so well, I wish to improve and bring better and well-written stories.

When his friends told Sunoo to take a drunk Y/N to the shower, he tensed up, he should have said no, but what was he going to say? So he just did as he was told.

- No, it's cold, stop. - Y/N's voice was tearful as the cold water began to fall on her.

Sunoo's hands continued to hold Y/N as she tried to get out of the shower, but she could barely stand, but it was difficult for him to keep her there, the cold water falling not only on her, but on him as well, which made him feel a little sorry for her, it was really very cold, but she needed to be at least a little sober.

Y/N was too dizzy, her legs had no strength, her body fell onto Sunoo's, he froze, too close, she was too close, he could feel the heat of her body against his and it made him nervous, he's been like this for weeks, he can barely look at her, but why is he feeling like this? It's not normal, he's never felt this way about any girl.

- Warm... - Y/N whispered as she hugged him, she inhaled his scent, settling more and more against his body. - You smell so good.

Sunoo managed to come to his senses, so he pushed her away a little, her eyes closed, her face flushed, he couldn't help but look down, her clothes stuck to her body marking every curve, he felt more and more confused.

- It's sticking. - Y/N complained about her clothes that were glued to her body. - Who bathes with their clothes on?

Sunoo's panic increased when Y/N let go of him, only to start taking off her clothes, he was supposed to stop her but he couldn't, he just stood there, petrified as he watched her undress. He felt so wrong in leaving, but it was too tempting, he couldn't help it, just as he couldn't help what he was feeling, seeing her there half naked in front of him was making him excited, that's when he came to his senses, she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing. Then he stopped her, his hands firmly holding her wrists.

Y/N's eyes opened, a smile appearing on her flushed face, little by little she wasn't so unconscious anymore, which was worse.

- Instead of my wrists because it doesn't squeeze my neck. - That was clearly the alcohol an intrusive thought leaving Y/N's lips.

The grip on his wrists lessened, Sunoo tried to understand if he had heard right, no, his mind could only be playing a trick on him, Y/N wouldn't say that so suddenly, not to him.

But it was clear he heard her right as she approached, her breathing heavy as her eyes were fixed on his, their lips almost touching, so close, so tempting… but he left her there, alone, she jumped in fright when the door slammed just as he ran out of the bathroom.

When Y/N woke up she didn't need to open her eyes to know that she was in Sunoo's bed, she knew his smell very well, she snuggled closer against her pillow, while smelling the scent of the covers, she wanted it to be him there. From the day she met him she liked him, she soon realized that he was ridiculous and useless, she would never have any chance with him. If he only liked girls, maybe then she would have a small chance.

Sunoo was in the room and finally he had managed to sleep, after spending the night trying to understand his mind, trying to control his thoughts. No girl so far had left him like this, he was too confused about Y/N.

At first he tried to convince himself that it was normal. He to feel jealous when one of her friends was too close to her? Normal, she was your friend so it was normal to be jealous of your friends, right? Miss spending comfortable time while watching together snuggled up against each other? Normal, then again she was your friend so why would it be weird? There were so many things about her that he used this excuse for, but starting to have hot dreams about her no longer seemed so normal, much less that he liked it. And it was even less normal when he woke up and found himself thinking about what it would be like to kiss her, what it would be like to touch her, what she would taste like, what it would be like to have her body writhing beneath his? What would it be like to hear her moaning his name?

These thoughts had been tormenting him for weeks, and last night, that situation in the bathroom, that was his limit. He knew what he felt, he knew what he wanted, he knew what he needed. Y/N, just Y/N. What he felt about her, he never felt about anyone. And he needed to deal with this situation.

The day went by normally, at least in the eyes of others.

Y/N didn't seem to remember the bathroom scene, and the others had no idea what had happened, but for Sunoo the day was hell.

He couldn't take his eyes off Y/N, the anger when she was being too friendly with others, how she laughed while they played video games together. He couldn't get closer to her, at the same time his eyes remained on her all day, he couldn't get close, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to control his body, his hands.

When night fell, Y/N was going to sleep in Sunoo's room again, but she felt bad about letting him sleep in the living room.

- Please Sunoo, I'll feel guilty if you sleep there again. What's wrong? Come, sleep comfortably in your bed.

He hesitated for a moment, but he wanted to know if she was teasing him or really didn't remember what happened in the bathroom.

They were watching, Sunoo had to cover herself, it was difficult to control her thoughts while Y/N was only wearing the shirt he lent her to sleep in.

She should have put something underneath too, but she didn't. He didn't know if he thought she was naive in not seeing the harm in being like that in front of him, if he thought she was belittling him as a man, or if she was doing it on purpose.

- About yesterday... - He started to ask, he needed to know. - Do you remember anything?

- Hmm, just being in the restaurant drinking afterwards I don't remember anything else.

- And why did you drink so much?

He was a little disappointed that she didn't remember, he was worth so little to her that she didn't even remember trying to kiss him? Of trying to get naked in front of you? Damn... how could she ask him to choke her? He tried so hard to avoid thinking about it, but now the thought was there again.

- Oh, that? Sorry, I was just angry, a guy indirectly rejected me, but that doesn't even really bother me, no guy ever likes me anyway.

He hated how she said things like that, belittling herself. But he ended up smiling without realizing it, happy that the guy rejected her, he felt relieved.

- I like. - He whispered without thinking but without regret.

- Thank you, but I'm not talking about that, I mean it in the sense of a MAN like you know.

His blood boiled at that moment, he hated how she highlighted the word man, did she really not see him as a man?

- That's exactly what I'm talking about Y/N, I AM a man, and I like you.

- Sunoo, I don't... -She was confused by his answer. - There's no way you...

- How do you know? You can't decide for me whether I like you or whether I desire you. - He was clearly angry.

To like? To wish? She couldn't be hearing right.

- But Sunoo, how? I mean, you're GAY. - Y/N laughed nervously, trying to hide her confusion, maybe he was joking or just trying to cheer her up?

Hearing her say that angered him. He never had a problem with it, but why did it come out of her mouth so offensive?

He doesn't know what happened to him, anger took over his body, when he realized it was over Y/N, his hands holding her against the bed, her eyes wide, looking at him in surprise. But there was something more, it wasn't just surprise, she liked it, he could see how her eyes were shining, she was happy, she seemed satisfied as if she had been waiting for this, as if she had wanted this for a long time, to be under his body.

- Are you sure of what you said? - He whispered, pressing her closer to the bed. - You didn't seem to think that way yesterday in the bathroom, when you tried to kiss me, when you asked me to choke you.

- What did I do? - Y/N was surprised she thought she had dreamed it. - I'm sorry...

- You must really apologize, how can you say these things, if you couldn't even stay awake properly? Leave me like that? Having to end this alone, again?

- Again? - The glow that covered Y/'s eyesThey weren't visible. - Do you think of me like that?

Y/N felt Sunoo's grip on her arms relax a little, then she stood up, her hands pressed against his chest pushing him gently.

- Do you feel like thinking about me? - Y/N asked softly, with a smug smile. - Show me, I want to see.

- What? No. - Sunoo's cheeks turned red. Y/N smiled, he looked confident just a few seconds ago and now he looked so sweet with his flushed face.

- Show me Sunoo, I want to see how much you like me. - Y/N continued pushing him as she crawled under him until he lay back against the soft pillows. She left a soft kiss on his lips, before taking off his shirt, running her fingers gently over his body making him tense, she walked away smiling.

- Come on Sunoo, touch yourself for me. - Y/N took off her own shirt, exposing her body to him.

It was the second time he saw Y/N half naked, and this time he didn't need to run away.

He took off the rest of his clothes, and blushed even more when he noticed Y/N's gaze on his erection, it was strange doing this in front of her, but at the same time...it felt good.

He took his member, his fingers running over the tip spreading the precum before starting to pump, he noticed how Y/N's breathing became heavier, how she seemed restless as she watched him, at the same time he felt embarrassed, he liked her reaction, he wanted to tease her.

- Y/N…Noona. - He moaned slyly, his hand moving slowly, but it was tortuous for himself, his movements accelerated, his breathing becoming irregular. - Please noona, help me.

Sunoo was very close, his movements faster, Y/N couldn't stop looking at how he looked so beautiful, desperate, his face flushed, how he looked so tearful calling for her.

She moved closer, replacing his hand with hers, when she touched him he trembled under her touch. Her name coming out in whispers from his mouth, he couldn't take it anymore, soon ropes of cum covered his abdomen and her hands as he came, his eyes closed enjoying the moment, when he opened them he saw Y/N licking his hand, he swallowed hard at the scene in front of him.

- Damn Y/N... - He cursed when she bent over, her tongue passing over his abdomen, cleaning it before he felt her mouth around his cock, cleaning up the drops.

- You look so cute like that. - She said as she got up, dragging herself to sit on his lap, while touching his red face.

Y/N saw the change in expression on his face. How could she call him cute in a situation like that? He became angry, his eyes narrowed, a wicked smile on his face.

- Is the sweet little fox going wild? - She joked, but soon a small scream left her lips, when it suddenly penetrated her.

- Do you still think I'm sweet and cute with my dick buried inside you? - The tone of his voice was as threatening as his gaze, this was definitely a side of him that she never thought existed.

Sunoo turned her on the bed, getting on top of her, his hand holding her waist while the other raised her thigh, pulling her more and more towards him, while his hips moved quickly against hers, the thrusts rhythmic eliciting moans from her lips.

She gasped in surprise when she felt his fingers around her neck.

- You like that, don't you? You asked yesterday, how many times did you imagine me choking you while fucking you?

His smile was almost devilish as he pressed into her neck, his movements becoming faster and faster. He felt her tightening around him every time he applied pressure to his fingers, suffocating her a little. It didn't take long for him to fill her with cum inside her, as his name came out as a whisper, he continued the movements until he made her come around him.

When he withdrew from inside her, he lowered himself between her thighs, his tongue passing gently over her sensitive hole cleaning her, while Y/N trembled feeling his hot tongue, she was sensitive and it was torturous, he moaned as he devoured her, she was tearful as his mouth tortured her, her hands clinging to his hair when she came again, he smiled, as she came violently shaking.

The room was silent the next morning when Jake opened the door.

- You're not coming for coffee... - Jake froze at the sight before him. - You two? No.

Y/N and Sunoo could hear Jake running around gossiping to the others.

- They will tease me so much about this. - Sunoo complained, cuddling up to you like a cute puppy.

- Well, I don't care about leaving here anytime soon.

- Me either. - He stood up a little just so he could kiss her.

#enhypen #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #sunoo smut #sunoo x reader #sunoo imagines #kim sunoo #sunoo scenarios #sunoo #heeseung #jay #jake #sunghoon #jungwon #niki #smut #fantasy #imagine

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airenyah · 1 day ago

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A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 12

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11)

Oof, so this took me forever to write. A week and a half. But now it's finally here, the final post of this meta series. And yes, I did hit 20k words by the finale, oops. The analysis part alone is at 20.1k words. In total, this meta series is at 150k words. When I wrote that very first post about episodes 1+2 in on single sitting, pulling an all-nighter to both write, gif, and publish it I never expected it to turn into this huge project that has become. Don't ask how much sleep I was getting while I was writing these metas. And don't ask how my studies have been going since early December (I was gonna write two exams a week from me publishing this but I haven't done any studying so far whatsoever rip). Totally worth it, though. Anyway, I don't wanna keep you on your toes any longer, so have fun <3

By the way, I apologize in advance, but the section cover pics had to go for this one. Instead I bring you.... more gifs! Yay!

Acknowledgments: To everyone who regularly liked and/or reblogged and/or commented... THANK YOU 😘 Your encouragement really kept me going over these past few weeks, even when my brain was feeling really exhausted from thinking so long and so hard about this series and especially this character. I had a blast going on this journey and I'm glad I got to share it with you. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I love you.

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise. And I WILL be specifying otherwise this time hehe.

To recap: Last episode Style got to spend a lovely 24 hours of saying goodbye to Fadel before the one thing that Style has been dreading the most (safe for Fadel's death, probably) happened: Fadel got arrested. And there's nothing Style could do about it but watch. And now he has to live with the fact that his boyfriend will be in prison for the next five long years.

No. 1: Visitors

Kant and Style go visit their boys in prison together and it seems to be their first visit in general, considering how both couples are catching up. We don't know how long it's been since they last saw each other, but I assume it must have been more than just a couple of days, since we later learn that the burger restaurant has already been sold.

Either way, Style is now sitting in front of Fadel, asking him how prison is. Fadel says it's not that bad and Style checks in once more to make sure Fadel is really fine: "Really? You sure you're not saying that just to make me happy? I've seen some interviews, and the people who have been here said it was awful."

After all, Style knows Fadel and he knows Fadel is prone to pretending that everything is fine when really, it isn't. Style even called Fadel out on it in episode 7: "Just admit when it hurts. You don't have to be tough all the time." Back then Style also told Fadel: "I'm worried about you, you know? I was afraid something would happen to you.*"

*กลัวมึงเป็นไรไปอ่ะ [gluua - mueng - bpen rai - bpai - àh] afraid - you - have a problem - [particle] Official subs: I thought you were a goner.

Now, about half a series later Fadel is finally very well aware of just how much Style worries about his well-being and, with a laugh, reassures him once more that prison really isn't that bad. Style lets it go and tells Fadel: "I really miss you, though." And let me just share what I learned when I asked my Thai friend about the phrase ก็...อยู่ดี [gôh ... yùu dii], because I wasn't entirely sure what it meant: according to my friend it means "still" (German speakers: he translated it as "immer noch"), so the line goes more like:

But I still miss you. แต่กูก็คิดถึงมึงอยู่ดีนะ [dtàe - guu - gôh - kít-tĕung - mueng - yùu dii - ná] but - I - miss - you - still - [na]

They've been separated for a while now, but Style still misses Fadel. Style hasn't stopped missing Fadel. Fadel acknowledges that and tells him "When you do, just come visit." And for those curious about the literal wording (it doesn't really change anything, but I know you guys love this <3):

If you miss me, then come visit me like this. ถ้ามึงคิดถึงกูอ่ะ ก็มาหากูแบบนี้นะ [tâa - mueng - kít-tĕung - guu - àh • gôh - maa hăa - guu - bàep níi - ná] if - you - miss - me - [particle] • then - come visit - me - like this - [particle]

Style doesn't say anything. He just smiles at Fadel fondly and in love. Fadel didn't preemptively break up with him last episode and even though there is a barrier between them, Style can still go see Fadel and Fadel also wants Style to come see him. It's not ideal, but things could have been much worse, so Style is happy and also makes the best out of the situation. Just like he always does.

Fadel then asks about the garage and it's the first time we learn that Style's dad is starting to retire and that Style is starting to be busy. This will come up later in the episode again, but for now everyone is still happy. Then Fadel asks about his burger restaurant and both we, the audience, and Fadel learn that it's been sold. Fadel then says he'll find a way to buy it back once he's out of prison and once again we're handed information that will be relevant later in the episode.

Style being Style immediately announces that he'll be helping Fadel find a new place, if he can't get back the old one. And now it's Fadel's turn to smile at Style fondly and in love. Style then asks if Fadel wants anything special. But Fadel doesn't need anything. "Just seeing your face will last me a whole month." And again, the literal wording doesn't really change anything here, but if you're curious, this is what he's saying:

Just you visiting me like this makes me happy for a month. แค่มึงมาหากูแบบเนี่ย กูก็อิ่มใจเป็นเดือนละ [kâe - mueng - maa hăa - guu - bàep nîia • guu - gôh - ìm-jai - bpen deuuan - lá] just - you - come visit - me - like this • I - [sentence link] - happy, pleased - for a month - [particle]

Fadel uses the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] here (which I translated as "happy") and that's funny to me personally, because this word already came up when I was discussing a different sentence from episode 11 with my Thai friend. You know when Fadel and Style are in the kitchen in episode 11 and Fadel talks about how he wants to do what he loves with the person he loves? And then he says "It makes me happy". The word that was translated as "happy" in Thai is อิ่ม [ìm], which actually translates to "full". And I had my friend watch the scene and asked "What does he mean 'full', what does that mean in this context??" and my friend explained that in this context it means "happy" and mentioned the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai], which he also explained to mean "happy". The literal translation, though, is actually "full heart" (as in the heart is full → you're happy). And then this exact word that I learned comes up in episode 12, I love it. So yeah, Fadel is basically telling Style that he doesn't need anything, because Style visiting him in prison is enough to make is heart full/fill up his heart for a month. And from the way Fadel raises his eyebrows and smiles cheekily when he says the อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] part, I assume it's just as cheesy in Thai as it is in English, especially judging by Style's reaction afterwards.

Style is amused, impressed, as well as touched by Fadel's cheesiness and asks: "What did they feed you in there? How come you're this sweet?*"

*ทำไมถึงหวานขนาดเนี้ย [tam-mai tĕung - wăan - kà-nàat níia] how come, why - sweet - to this extent Official subs: You're way too sweet.

If you read last episode's meta you might remember how I went over the development to from โหด [hòht] (= harsh, aggressive, brutal) to หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) and I just love how this time around, the word โหด [hòht] doesn't even get mentioned anymore. They went from Style using only the word โหด [hòht] in episode 4 ("No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you." / Official subs: "It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked."), to them making comments about and discussing Fadel being both harsh (โหด [hòht]) and sweet (หวาน [wăan]) in episodes 7, 9, and 11, and now in the finale Style only uses the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet). It's the polar opposite of episode 4. I love it.

(By the way, I'm not gonna copy and paste all the direct quotes again, so if you wanna look at the lines and the development of "harsh vs sweet" in detail, please refer to section 7 of my ep11 meta.)

Style continues to say "If you say such sweet things, it'll only make me want to hold you and kiss you even more, you know?" and I'm just gonna share the literal wording again:

The sweeter like this you are ยิ่งมึงหวานแบบเนี่ย [yîng - mueng - wăan - bàep nîia] the more - you - sweet - like this the more I really want to embrace you and (sniff) kiss you on the cheek, you know that? กูยิ่งอยากกอดอยากหอมมึงมากเลยรู้ป่ะ [guu - yîng - yàak - gòht - yàak - hŏhm - mueng - mâak loiie - rúu - bpà] I - the more - want - hug, embrace - want - (sniff) kiss - you - very much - know - ?

In the official subtitles Style says just "kiss you", but the word he uses here in Thai is หอม [hŏhm] which, from what I've picked up so far, usually refers specifically to a kiss on the cheek, especially those sniff-kisses. And that's what prompts Fadel to turn his head and offer his cheek to Style — because Style specifically asked to kiss Fadel's cheek.

Also, something about the way Style says this and the way he emphasizes and drags out the word หอม [hŏhm] kind of really reminds me of the way he emphasized and dragged out the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) when he shouted "My meat is sweet, I tell you!" in episode 3, and watching these two lines back-to-back actually shows the development so beautifully:

In episode 3, Style is so very loud and he doesn't mean what he is saying at all, he isn't taking his words seriously whatsoever. His words are a performance and the world (or rather the market, in this case) is his audience. In episode 11, his words are still a performance, but now it's a private show for Fadel and Fadel alone. Fadel is the sole member of his audience and what Style is saying isn't meant for anyone else but Fadel. Style is serious about it now and he really means it. By the episode 12, Style is still loud in his personality, but compared to episode 3 his demeanor is so much calmer and he is also much more grounded.

The difference is also in Fadel's reaction: in episode 3 when Style isn't taking what he's saying and doing seriously whatsoever, Fadel doesn't have time for him. He rolls his eyes and just leaves him standing there. In episode 12, when Style means every single thing he says and does, Fadel actually leans closer and then presents his cheek to Style, going along with Style's antics instead of blocking or ditching him. Style blows a cheek at Fadel and we leave them as they continue to make heart-eyes at each other.

No. 2: This Is Torture

Style puts on his cheerful face when he's in front of Fadel, and while I don't think any of the above was a mask, because I think he is definitely genuinely happy to talk to Fadel, there is still some frustration that Style only lets out as soon as he's away from Fadel, similar to how he didn't fully cry until Fadel was completely gone at the end of last episode. "Kant, I can't do this," Style complains and let me just share the real vibe of his sentence:

Ai'Kant, I can't fucking do this anymore. ไอ้กานต์ กูแม่งไม่ไหวแล้วว่ะ [âi Kant • guu - mâeng - mâi - wăi - láew - wâ] Ai'Kant • I - [rude interjection] - not - able to, can - anymore - [rude particle]

I usually don't bother to point out sanitized subtitles, but here I thought it was appropriate, because first of all, Style using curse words and rude language really underlines just how frustrated he really is about this from his first line of the scene on and second of all, to me with the cursing it comes across as even more dramatic and I mean, the drama is what we've all come to love about Style, isn't it? Kant agrees and once again Style is much more dramatic in the original wording than he is in the official translation:

What's torturous is going in and being able to chat only for a few minutes. ที่มันทรมานอ่ะ คือเข้าไปคุยได้ไม่กี่นาทีไง [tîi - man - tor-rá-maan - àh • keu - kâo bpai - kui - dâai - mâi gìi -naa-tii - ngai] that - it - torture, be tortured - [particle] • is - enter, get in - talk, chat - be able to, can - not many - minute(s) - [particle] Official subs: The worst part is only getting a few minutes to talk to him.

Yeah. Style explicitly calls it torture that he can only see Fadel's face but can't touch him. He continues with the drama:

We're close, but so damn far away. ใกล้แต่ไกลฉิบหายเลยมึง [glâi - dtàe - glai - chìp-hăai - loiie - mueng] close - but - far - [impolite intensifier] - [particle for emphasis] - you Official subs: We’re so close but it feels so far.

Style is frustrated, almost downright angry even. Kant agrees again and when Style then asks "Is there no way we could hold them in our arms again?" There's a hint of desperation and impatience now mixed in with the frustration. Kant informs Style that there's a special visiting day, but it's only once a year. And here we have the biggest clue as to just how unhappy Style really is with the situation. Style, who usually stays optimistic and tries to find the bright side in things, is very dissatisfied about those news. Even positive Style can't see how the special visiting day is a good thing. Because once a year just really isn't enough, no matter how he looks at it. Kant throws him a glance. Style is sitting in the passenger's seat, head downcast, looking very dispirited and crestfallen.

Kant thinks some thoughts for a moment. Then he announces "I think I have an idea that will give us more than just a hug." Style lifts his head again. He's listening.

No. 3: Prison Break

For Kant's idea to work they need Captain Christ's help and they go meet him in a parking lot. They let Captain Christ know they wanna get into jail to see their boyfriends and Captain Christ actually asks the reasonable question of "Can't you just visit them?" No. They cannot. Because looking at them through a barrier is simply just not enough. Style starts listing all the things he wants to do to Fadel and he's clearly thought about this a lot. He gets lost in his own world a little the longer he goes on, clearly seeing everything he's describing in front of his mental eye, clearly seeing Fadel himself in front of his mental eye. And in a parallel to both episode 4 and episode 11, Style trails off at the end, leaving it up to the audience to imagine just what exact kind of things Style wants to do to/with Fadel (fanfiction, anyone?). Style pulls himself out of his fantasy and back into the real world, sighing and shaking his head in a way that reads to me like frustration about the fact that he can't be doing all of that. Kind of like Come on, man, get it together... The circumstances won't let you have your fantasies anyway. When the shot changes to Captain Christ, we can see that Style is even looking towards the ground. We can't see his face, but just from his dissatisfied expression just now we could interpret his hanging head as disappointment or sadness or both about not being able to do all the things he just talked about.

Captain Christ says that Style is crazy in love and from the way that Captain raises his eyebrows and the way the corners of his mouth twitch into a bit of a smirk when he's done speaking has me think Captain Christ was saying it to tease Style, but I think the teasing passes right by Style, because he makes a skeptical face, kind of like a bit of an annoyed and maybe slightly defensive What?? or maybe even a bit of an And what's wrong with that?

Captain Christ discards his cigarette and starts asking questions about just how exactly Kant and Style plan to get into prison, pointing out that he had just helped Kant wipe his slate clean. Kant explains that they aren't planning on getting themselves arrested and asks if Captain Christ knows anyone inside. Captain Christ says he does, then asks: "Don't tell me you want me to help you reenact Prison Break?"

Special shout-out to Style's reaction, because it's definitely in my top 5 moments of the episode, if not my absolute favorite highlight of the episode:

His face makes me laugh and giggle so much, it just really cracks me up. It's like he's thinking to himself Oh I sure wouldn't mind a little prison break... or maybe even Oh this is totally not the exact thing I've been fantasizing about. Let's be real, this would be Style's ideal scenario. But unlucky for Style, that's not the plan that Kant has had in mind.

No. 4: Vocational Training

Kant's idea was to go do some kind of volunteer work (or something along those lines) at the prison. Style, of course, teaches fixing cars, and it's interesting that Fadel actually shows up for that, because without knowing Style was gonna be the one teaching, Fadel could have easily chosen a different activity instead, since we never actually saw him be interested in fixing cars. Maybe Fadel heard about it and it made him think of Style and decided to go check it out in honor of him or to feel closer to him. Either way, Fadel actually shows up to Style's class and from the way Style's jaw drops a little bit I wonder, if this comes as a surprise to Style, since it's not like Style specifically told Fadel he was gonna come in.

Pronoun change! You might have noticed yourself, but the very first thing Style says to Fadel is khun. Style is pretending not to know Fadel. Style continues to speak using no pronouns at all and when Fadel answers, he goes along with Style's pronoun change, using phom to refer to himself. The two of them continue to use the polite phom/khun for the rest of this specific conversation.

Fadel says he doesn't know anything about fixing cars and Style replies it's fine, because Fadel can learn about it. Then he says "If you want to, that is." The expression that Style uses here in Thai is มีใจ [mii jai] which is made up of มี [mii] = "to have" and ใจ [jai] = "heart, mind", so literally it translates to "have (a/the) heart". My friend explained that in this context this phrase means "to have the intention to do something". The funny thing is, though, that I asked my friend about this specific phrase a couple of episodes ago, because Style actually uses it when they're standing by the broken down car in episode 8 when he teases Fadel "Either a hitman like you still have his humanity, or you’re in love with me." In other words, the phrase มีใจ [mii jai] can also mean "to be in love" and now I'm wondering if this specific word choice with this double meaning was very intentional for this episode 12 scene. Especially because Fadel then huffs and smiles a little.

Style walks up to Fadel and tells him "I'll show you every nook and cranny of a car. You'll definitely find some use for what you learn from me. But if you still can't fix cars after that, I'll fix them for you," still using polite pronouns and particles to address Fadel, and somehow this whole thing just really reminds me of their little roleplay at the garage back in episode 5. The way Fadel's eyebrows shoot up and he huffs in amusement really raises the question if Fadel is wondering what kind of payment Style will take for fixing Fadel's car. At the same time, Style offering to fix Fadel's car also works as a callback to the circumstances in which they first met: Style has fixed Fadel's car once before, maybe even twice, if we assume that Style fixed the jeep again between episode 8 and episode 9 when it broke down.

No. 5: A Man Has Wants, A Man Has Needs

At the end of class, Fadel is working on the car and Style uses the chance with everyone else distracted for a little private chat with Fadel. And now that they don't have an audience listening in and appearances to keep up, they're both back to the rude pronouns guu/mueng. Fadel likely sort of already expected that Style would find a way to get to him, because he says he had thought Style would do something illegal to get inside the prison and I think the majority of the fandom thought similarly. I personally realized Kant and Style would be working in prison when I went to rewatch the episode promo like two or so days before the episode and realized that the blue clothes that Fadel was wearing in the shots where Style kissed him on the cheek and threw him against the wall looked like the prison uniform while Style was in normal clothes. At first I thought the shot of the cheek kiss by the car was when Fadel was out of prison again and that it was set in Style's garage, but once it hit me that they were clearly fixing a car while Fadel was in a prison uniform while Style wasn't, that's when I realized that Style was likely there as a volunteer worker (or something along those lines) rather than a prisoner. Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to get my ep11 meta done, so I didn't make a post about my discovery which means I don't have receipts and this brag is completely worthless. Ah, well. At least my ep11 meta is done.

Style says "This is way better" and steps closer to Fadel, reaching out his arm right into Fadel's personal space, seeking proximity before he even says it out loud or touches Fadel at all. Fadel responds to it by immediately moving his own arm closer to Style's hand and while I know that Joong most likely did this as part of their "choreography" so that Dunk would have an easier time grabbing his arm for when Style talks about touching Fadel, the thing is if we're looking at it from the character's perspective, well, Joong might have known Dunk was gonna grab his arm, but Fadel didn't know Style was gonna grab him and so I love this small interaction anyway. Style reaches into Fadel's personal space with his hand and Fadel immediately moves his own hand closer to Style.

And it's only then that Style says: "I get to be close to you and to touch you just like I wanted to." Then Style sneaks a kiss on Fadel's cheek, just like he said he wanted to do in his first scene of the episode. Fadel gets as stressed about it just like I did when I watched the episode for the first time. I mean come on, Style, there are still people around!! I swear to god, the amount of times I've had to remind myself during the prison part that this was a romcom and that this was the final episode of the show and that nothing too bad was gonna happen now...

Fadel scolds Style, but Style doesn't care. He points out: "Why would I come here if I don't get to do anything with you at all?" The whole point of finding a way to get inside the prison was to be able to touch Fadel, to kiss him, to hold him, just like Style was so very desperately wishing he could do in the very beginning of the episode. And he's not gonna pass up that chance, especially when it's been a while since he actually got to feel Fadel's skin.

Fadel sees the guard walk around and tells Style "I can't help you." Then Fadel continues to be grumpy, scolding Style "You said you'd be patient, and you're already losing it?" Style is so used to Fadel's grumpy personality by now that he isn't fazed in the slightest. He comments it with a very quick huff to the side, then goes "A guy has wants and needs, you know?" He smiles a little when the words are out of his mouth and observes Fadel's reaction, eyes fixed on him attentively. Fadel lifts his head, looking a little done, but ends up breaking anyway after staring at Style for a moment. Fadel laughs and turns his head away to hide it, then looks at Style one more time, before directing his attention back to the car. Style watches him with a fond smile and affectionately shakes his head as if to say That's so you of you to first be grumpy, only to fall for my charm in the end anyway, you silly goose. As if I don't know you by now, my love.

After that, Style goes back into teacher mode in order to officially end the class. And I just love how the wide-shot reveals that now both Style and Fadel have their hands in each other's personal space close to the other person's body, their arms criss-crossed. And I also love how Style leans right into Fadel, touching him more when he goes to address the whole class.

Good job at pretending not to know each other, boys. Really. Very inconspicuous.

Fadel does move away from Style a little a moment later while Style continues his "see you next week" speech. But we can still see just how much Style missed touching Fadel, because he seeks out proximity again by tapping Fadel, casually touching him again immediately after he is done ending the class.

Then his eyes also find Fadel's face again, who looks at him very amused. And now that class is over, Style can finally do what he's really here for.

No. 6: Loyal to You

When we cut back to them, they've found a hidden corner and Style is shoving Fadel against a wall, kissing him with great urgency. Once they break apart, Style tells Fadel "I've been dying to do that since the moment I saw you", smiling a very satisfied smile. Fun fact, this time around Style is actually less dramatic in the original wording:

I've been wanting to do this since I saw your face. กูอยากทำแบบนี้ตั้งแต่เห็นหน้ามึงอ่ะ [guu - yàak - tam - bàep níi - dtâng-dtàe - hĕn - nâa mueng - àh] I - want - do - like this - since - see - your face - [particle]

Fadel laughs and says "You're crazy", to which Style replies "Love will make people do crazy things" and let me just share the original wording for a second:

Love makes us do something crazy like this. ความรักอ่ะ ทำให้คนเราทำอะไรบ้าๆ แบบนี้แหละ [kwaam rák - àh • tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - bâa bâa - bàep níi - làe] love - [particle] • make that, cause - people, we - do - something - crazy - like this - [particle] Official subs: Love will make people do crazy things.

The reason why I'm sharing this isn't, because the translation is inaccurate in any way, but rather because this line reminded me of another line Style says in episode 7 and I just want to point out the similarity in the original wording that isn't as clean in the official translation:

Love makes us do something stupid. ความรักมันทำให้คนเราทำอะไรโง่ๆนะ [kwaam rák - man - tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - ngôh ngôh - ná] love - it - make that, cause - people, we - do - something - stupid - [particle] Official subs: Love sure makes you do something stupid.

It greatly amuses me that Style went from "Love makes us do stupid things" to "Love makes us do crazy things". Style, lover of love, willing to do stupid and crazy things for the sake of love. He is stupid and crazy enough to even find a way to get into prison for the sole purpose of making out with his boyfriend, because who can wait five whole years, amirite? Style immediately proves his point by continuing to kiss Fadel. But Fadel doesn't let Style kiss him for long, because he has something to say: "Save your sweet words." Funfact, he uses the word นำเน่า [nam nâo] here, which my friend explained to mean "soapy" (as in soap opera like). I think Fadel just called Style "dramatic" without actually calling him dramatic, and I think that might also be the reason why Style steps back with a sigh, looking kind of disappointed and annoyed, before answering Fadel's question of "How did you get in here?"

We know being called dramatic has been a touchy subject for Style before and so has been being pushed away. I think Style had a moment of Does he really not appreciate that I'm here now? Does he not appreciate my efforts? But Style doesn't comment on it, doesn't start an argument, and instead answers Fadel's question. He explains that he'll be teaching at prison every week now thanks to Kant's connections and then says:

I'll get to come and see you every week. จะได้มาเจอมึงทุกอาทิตย์เลย [jà - dâai - maa - jer - mueng - túk - ah-tít - loiie] will - get to - come - see, meet - you - every - week - [particle] Official subs: So I'll see you every week.

Although when Style says this, it's not as joyful as you might expect. There is determination in Style's voice, because he is determined to do this, but there is also a bit of a challenging edge to it and I think it comes from his sudden worry that Fadel might not want him here after all. It's a challenge in the sense of Well, are you happy about me being here once a week from now on or not? He keeps his eyes fixed on Fadel and when Fadel then huffs and smiles almost in disbelief, the look on Style's face softens a little bit before he leans in to kiss Fadel again.

But once more, Fadel isn't letting Style kiss him for long, before he speaks again: "You know… You don’t have to do this." Style goes still as he waits for Fadel to elaborate. And Fadel does:

It's fine if you visit me once a month or once every three months. มาหากูเดือนละครั้งหรือสามเดือนครั้งก็ได้ [maa hăa - guu - deuuan lá kráng - rĕu - săam deuuan kráng - gôh dâai] (come) visit - me - once a month - or - once every three months - it's fine Official subs: I don't mind seeing you once a month or once every three months.

Ah. There it is. Fadel is pushing him away again. Or so Style thinks. Of course Fadel is saying this to be considerate of Style's time and schedule (after all, Style did tell him that things at the garage were getting busy), not wanting Style to get tired and exhausted in the process, but what Style hears is I don't want to see you that often. And now Style is seriously done.

He steps back, tilting his face in a Really, now?? way, presses his lips together unhappily, then raises his eyebrows and firmly tells Fadel: "I did everything I could to be with you, you know?" Style's next question is another challenge to Fadel:

Are you not moved? ไม่ซึ้งบ้างหรอ [mâi - séung - bâang - rŏr] not - touched, moved - any - ? Official subs: You don’t appreciate that?

Fadel breathes out loudly and tilts his head like Oh, come on, it's not like that. But Style is really annoyed now and continues to say: "Or did you already find someone here? I'd expect it of a popular guy like you." You heard him use the anglicism "hot" here, right? Because the second sentence goes more like:

You're hot anyway. ฮอตอยู่แล้วนี่มึงอ่ะ [hot - yùu - láew - nîi - mueng - àh] hot - be - already - [interjection] - you - [particle]

A little extra info from my Thai friend: according to him in Thai this word doesn't necessarily refer to someone's appearance and to physical attraction, but rather it is used to express someone has a quality or skill that is desirable.

Now I think Style actually being jealous for real can be a valid interpretation of him asking Fadel if he found someone new in prison, but to be honest, personally I don't really think so, or rather I think real jealousy is the case only on a surface level. Because Style knows Fadel, Style knows that Fadel doesn't easily open up to others. Style knows first hand how much work, effort, and persistence it takes to get to Fadel's heart. Style also knows Fadel would absolutely kill him if Style ever cheated on him and so I don't think Style would expect Fadel to be a hypocrite and go cheat on Style just like that himself. So I don't think Style actually expects Fadel to have found himself a new boyfriend in prison for real. No, in my opinion this is about something else deep down. I think Style is actually hurt that Fadel is (seemingly) pushing him away again, the way Fadel has done before so often. And Style has felt hurt from that before, and he's argued with Fadel about that before (most recently last episode during their last supper, and in episode 10 the scene where Style demands to help with the mission as well as the scene where Fadel cries in Style's lap). And I think playing it over apparent jealousy is Style's way of letting Fadel know that he's sulking about this, without starting a full-blown argument. Because at this point Fadel should know better than to keep pushing Style away, especially when Style is putting in so much effort in their relationship again. And part of me also wonders if Style was trying to avoid being called "dramatic" again (remember: touchy subject) if he had outright complained about being pushed away, while jealousy could maybe be taken as a "more valid" or more expected or acceptable reason to be mad.

Style starts to walk off, upset, because fine, if Fadel doesn't want him here then he'll leave him alone. But Fadel catches his arm. Style is sulking and it's Fadel's job now to make up with him. And Fadel does: "No matter where I am, you're the only one for me." Fadel holds him back, pulls him back in, doesn't simply just let Style go. And then promises his loyalty to Style. Something that Style has promised to Fadel many, many times. Fadel's efforts to get Style to stay placate Style again. This is all Style wants: for Fadel to show that he, too, wishes for Style to be in his life and be willing to work for it, the same way Style constantly shows he wishes for Fadel to be and actively works on Fadel being by his side. Style's face softens again, he smiles a little and lets Fadel kiss him.

They go back to making out against the wall. Well. That is, until the prison guard walks in on them. They quickly jump apart and Style rambles some orders about cleaning up, before walking off. And I love that Style can't help but touch Fadel one last time, before he leaves. He really has gone too long without touching Fadel and has to make up for it now.

Language fun fact: Technically, a pronoun switch from guu/mueng to phom/khun isn't actually happening here, because Style actually uses no pronouns at all when he talks to Fadel in front of the guard! Fadel does drop one polite "krub", but that's about it. There are no pronouns this time, but I think it's safe to assume they would have switched to phom/khun again in front of the guard, if the conversation had gone on.

Side Quest: Year 2 or Literal Horny Jail

Alright, sooo, there isn't that much interesting happening in year 2, or rather not interesting enough that I really wanna get into detail and turn this into its own section, but of course I couldn't leave it entirely unaddressed. So a side quest, it is. The brothers' second year in prison turns out to be a happy one, with both couples really obsessed with each other as if they'd only just started dating, sneaking kisses and make-out sessions whenever they can. Somehow, they're never found out. Everyone is happy and pleased, and this is especially significant for Fadel and Style. They're happy and in love and still very much into each other. We don't actually get any scenes of Fadel and Style together during year 3, but I think it's safe to assume that things are going this well throughout the third year, too. Well, until things aren't. Until suddenly we get dropped down to the ground from the high that we had just been taken up to.

No. 7: Busy Bee

Year 4 comes around and with that all the happiness gets thrown right out the window. Because Style, without a warning, suddenly doesn't show up to class one day and instead waits for Fadel in the visiting room. When Fadel walks in, Style addresses him happily, but his happiness is not as bright as we know it can be, it's a bit subdued. Style asks why Fadel took so long and I think it explains why Style doesn't sound as cheerful as usual: I think while Style was waiting, for a moment he got really worried that Fadel wouldn't come to see him.

By the way, yes, Style did phrase it as a question in the original wording:

Why were you so slow? ทำไมช้าจังเลย [tam-mai - cháa - jang loiie] why - slow, late - so much, very much Official subs: Took you forever.

Fadel explains he went to the garage first, but Style wasn't there. Style apologizes for it, then explains he's been very busy. Style had already mentioned at the beginning of the episode that he was busier compared to before, and now he's even more busy than that. So busy that he might not be able to come in and teach as often anymore. He tells Fadel just that and looks at him with sad, apologetic puppy eyes.

Fadel asks why that is and when Style answers, he puts on a very enthusiastic voice in an attempt to make the situation sound as positive as possible. Style explains that he's in charge of the garage now that his dad is retired and updates Fadel on how he's thinking of expanding the business and how he has a lot of projects going on that allowed him to meet more people in the industry. Style's little mechanic world is getting bigger for him, isn't that exciting? Style just wants to share the joy of his good news with Fadel.

Fadel nods a bit unenthusiastically and says "That's good. It's alright. I understand" and I think Style can tell that in reality Fadel is upset just as much as the audience can, even if it might not immediately seem like he can tell:

Style continues to smile, but it's like he's putting down the enthusiasm that he's just put on, and he looks at Fadel. Style is always looking at Fadel. And Style has become an expert at reading Fadel. There is no way Fadel's disappointment passed right by Style, even if his expression stays positive and affectionate and full of love. Style doesn't say anything and I think he's actually waiting to see if Fadel will fall back into his old patterns and usual downward spirals again. And I think Style keeps his expression joyful and warm in order to give Fadel as little reason to think that Style doesn't care about him anymore. But the trauma sits deep within Fadel, leading him to say: "You don't have to come here to teach, you know?"

This is the exact reaction that Style was expecting of Fadel and we can tell, because Style is immediately ready to calm Fadel's anxiety without missing a beat: "Don't worry. I'll make time for it." It's really not that big of a deal. And in case it is a big deal, Style has already thought of a solution, a compromise: "But if I can't, I'll just come visit you instead." Because let's be real, Style would miss Fadel just as much and wouldn't want to miss out on seeing Fadel's face. "Is that okay?" he asks. Do we have a deal? Fadel stares at Style for a second, then nods awkwardly, but looks very unconvinced and doesn't say anything. Style raises his eyebrows a little, then leans back, keeping his eyes fixed on Fadel.

As I said above, I think Style could already tell Fadel was upset a few lines earlier, but I think this is the moment where he realizes that Fadel is more upset than Style had initially thought and that Fadel isn't gonna be easy to cheer up about this. It really does seem to be a big deal to Fadel. So much so, that Style now chooses to address it after all: "What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" And I adore how Style continues to interact with Fadel in such a loving, kind way and continues to smile at him warmly.

Style isn't attacking Fadel when he asks Fadel if he's mad, instead he's reaching out to him kindly and in a way that makes it very clear that Style is asking out of concern for Fadel's well-being and not because he's trying to start an argument. In fact, Style is very much trying to not start an argument right now. Fadel says he isn't mad at Style. "I understand you have to live your life. I'm in here so there's nothing I can do but wait." And that's when Style's smile finally falls completely.

I think part of him is concerned for Fadel and his mental state, and part of him is also worried where this might be going. I think the underlying question here is Are you... about to preemptively push me away again because you're falling into a downward spiral again?

Fadel continues. "Style, I think..." Style's face is very serious now as he listens to Fadel to find out where this is headed. Fadel says "Our timing just wasn't right at all" or word for word:

We met at the wrong place at the wrong time. เราเจอกันผิดที่ผิดเวลาไปหน่อยว่ะ [rao - jer gan - pìt - tîi - pìt - weh-lah - bpai nòi - wâ] we - meet each other - wrong - place - wrong - time - too little - [particle]

Style is quiet for a moment and I think now there is also a hint of fear added to the seriousness in his expression as well as confusion.

I think Style does very much understand that Fadel really is in the process of pushing him away again, but I think he's confused about what exactly Fadel means by "wrong place, wrong time". Style needs to know what exactly Fadel is getting at in order to properly fight against Fadel's downward spiral and so he asks. Fadel explains and Style listens intently. "I think you should focus on your future." Style is wasting many hours just to come to see Fadel at the prison since it's so far away. Style doesn't earn any money working at the prison. Style is better off getting paid fixing some expensive cars. "You shouldn't waste your time on me." Fadel is once again simply just presuming Style's perspective on things without actually asking Style about it. But at least Style now has a lead, something specific he can counter. And Style does, and just like before he talks to Fadel in a very kind, warm way: "It's not a waste of time. You're my boyfriend. I will always make time for you. Work is important, but you're also important to me." Style is also back to a warm, happy face now, the seriousness from a moment ago hidden completely.

He then also speaks a little reminder to Fadel that Fadel's behavior right now isn't entirely fair to Style either: "Before you went to jail, you told me to focus on my own life. Now that I'm doing exactly that, you are sulking?" And again, this isn't supposed to be an attack. When Style says this, he is more serious than he was mere seconds before, but Style's voice is still rather soft, and while his words come with a certain urgency, there are no sharp edges to his tone. Style stays patient with Fadel, clearly trying to talk this issue out without getting into a full-blown argument.

By the way, the word that Style uses here that was translated as "sulk" is งอน [ngon]. Avid watchers of Thai dramas might have come across this word before (especially those who also follow actors outside their series). The dictionary thai2english translates it as "sulk" and "pout", and I knew it meant something like this, but I still went ahead and asked my Thai friend about it, in case he had something interesting to say about it. And he did, and I'd just like to share it here, because I think some of you will love to read about it, too. According to my friend งอน [ngon] is when you are "upset and disappointed, because the other person should know better, but it's not significant enough to be properly angry". My friend also said that it's a whole thing: for example when you are งอน [ngon] you can't actually admit to it, and it's the other person's job to come to you and make up with you (this step is called ง้อ [ngóh]).

So Style asks if Fadel is งอน [ngon] (and I hit pause after Style's sentence to have my friend explain this word, before continuing the scene) and Fadel says that no, he is not งอน [ngon] (after which my friend exclaimed: "See!! Exactly!! He's denying it!! Like I said!!"), then tells Style "Just do what you want. Don't take me into account." Fadel gets up to walk away and Style calls out for him to wait. But Fadel is done with the conversation. "I have work in the kitchen. Don’t want these prisoners to starve." With these words, Fadel leaves Style sitting there, alone, looking unhappy.

No. 8: Be Patient, My Son

Next, we find ourselves in Style's garage and we are shown that Style is indeed working hard, earning money. Even his dad comments on it: "You always only fixed a few cars a month. What's going on?" Style's dad then asks if Style is in need of money and Style says he just wants to save it. And that's when we, the audience, slowly start to realize that Style is likely trying to buy back the restaurant. But Style's dad doesn't know this, so he starts asking whether Style is intending to buy a new car, and when Style says no, he's not, his dad makes a guess for a "love nest" (เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh]). I didn't ask my friend about the term เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh], but according to thai2english and sanook.com it refers to a home for newlyweds which, uh, is quite different from "a place (such as an apartment) used for amorous and often illicit rendezvous", which Merriam-Webster defines love nest as. Style's dad asks if Style is getting married, and that's the fifth reference to a FadelStyle marriage. Here's a recap, in case you forgot:

Ep6: "wear make-up with me" vs. "will you marry me" (explanation here)

Ep7: proposal prank

Ep8: Fadel and Style taking part in an actual wedding

Ep11: Style's dad outright telling Fadel and Style to get married

Ep.12: Style's dad asking his son about marriage again

I can't believe this show did not end with them actually getting married, or at the very least engaged. It's gotta be my biggest beef with the show, not gonna lie.

Anyway, so Style informs his dad that he is not, in fact, getting married and goes on to tease his dad, asking if his dad doesn't like seeing his son working hard. The comment makes his dad laugh, although he's already got another question on his mind: "Where's Fadel been, though?" I do think it's kinda funny how this question comes up only after more than three years. Did Style's dad really never wonder about it? Or has Style always casually mentioned Fadel over the years and his dad just assumed that Fadel only happened to come over when Style's dad happened not to be there for it? Why did it take more than three years for this question to come up?

Either way, Style quickly comes up with the excuse that Fadel is in culinary school abroad. And from the way Style says it, it seems like Style is making up this excuse on the spot, which again has me wonder... what exactly has Style been telling his dad the past 3+ years?

Style says that Fadel will be back, which is the truth this time, and Style's dad is happy to hear that, because he's actually rooting for Fadel. We love to hear it. Then Style's dad tells him "You need a lot of trust when it comes to long distance relationships. Be patient, son" and I'm so glad we got this very scene, following the last one. I think this is something Style kinda needed to hear at this point. Because Fadel had just walked out on him, clearly upset, and now Style's relationship is in trouble. And I adore that Style gets told some comforting words, even if his dad actually has no idea what's really going on. "You need trust," his dad tells him, "be patient." And Style thinks about it.

These words hit Style, they mean something to Style. He goes very quiet while his dad continues talking. "You'll be back together soon." Style's dad puts a comforting hand on Style's shoulder and Style's reaction is one I find very difficult to describe and put into words (see gif below). It's like, on the one hand his own optimistic and hopeful nature agrees with his dad, but at the same time he also doesn't quite believe his dad, as if he's thinking Well, whether we'll be back together or not depends entirely on how stubborn Fadel is and if he stops being mad at me. I think part of Style lowkey fears that Fadel might not be willing to make up with him again. Style looks at his dad who then gives him an encouraging nod and Style returns a small smile and a little nod himself.

Style's dad walks away and Style's smile slowly falls as he gets lost in thought and looks down at the money in his hands.

Style is most definitely thinking about the state of his relationship with Fadel and his dad's encouraging words right now. And we, the audience, are now all going Oh, he is SO buying back the restaurant for Fadel!! Honestly, it's my own personal headcanon that Style started working out a plan to buy it the moment he got back from that very first visit where Fadel was like "I'm gonna buy back the restaurant."

No. 9: Making Up

We don't know how long it's been since Fadel and Style talked last, but I assume it's been a while, since last time we checked Style said he might not be able to come as often and now we learn from Bison that Style is at the prison twice a week these days. Personally I assume it's been at least a month if not more. I feel like 3 weeks should be a long enough time for "twice a week" to have become an established pattern that Bison can point out, plus at least one or the other week for Style to work on his projects before that. There's also the chance that it's been even longer than that. Either way, it's been quite a while for sure. After all this time, Fadel is still งอน [ngon] at Style and as my friend explained to me, it's Style's responsibility to make up with him. And so Style does. Surely also boosted by his dad's encouraging words, Style takes the first step towards Fadel by having Bison deliver a small origami bouquet. We know for a fact that Style was not the one who made the bouquet, because Bison does explicitly say the bouquet came "from someone who takes origami training" and I don't think it was a lie, because I think Style would most certainly have bragged about his origami skills if he'd made it himself. However, I do think the little Heart Burger flag is something that Style did make himself. And it's the first hint of confirmation that we get that Style is indeed trying to buy back the restaurant. Fadel doesn't make the connection, though. The little gift still touches him enough to finally seek out Style again instead of actively avoiding him.

Style is wiping the board when Fadel finds him. We don't know if Style is about to start a class and is wiping the board in preparation so that he would have space to write on once the prisoners come in or if he just ended a class and now he's doing some clean-up for next time. My personal headcanon is that we're seeing Style after class actually. It's been established that the prisoners help putting stuff back once class is over and with the way Style is completely by himself when the scene starts it's my headcanon that Style is being slow and hanging back on purpose, because he is desperately hoping Fadel would come to see him, even if Style isn't really expecting it. And the reason why I believe Style thinks Fadel won't show up despite the gift is because Style isn't cheerful the way he usually is when he's purposefully staying optimistic (like he was for example when he's talking to Kant about the cat in front of the abandoned diner in episode 6, or in episode 7 when there is clearly something off about the assassin brothers and Kant points it out and Style insists that Kant is overthinking it or in episode 9 when he makes wishes for his dead body and so on). No, Style looks very serious when the camera first cuts to his face.

He does smile a little once it's fully sunk in that Fadel is really here, standing in front of him, and only then does he put on a bit of a cheerful, teasing voice when he tells Fadel: "Thought you'd never see me again." Didn't I say Style was a little afraid that Fadel might not be willing to make up again? Fadel bluntly asks what Style is here for and Style drops the positive voice. Instead, now his voice sounds more concerned and regretful when he asks "What are you mad (งอน [ngon]) at me about?" As per the etiquette that my friend explained, Fadel immediately denies that he's mad (งอน [ngon]). But then he finally does tell Style what the problem is: "I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." (Btw, Fadel did indeed say this pretty much word for word when he was crying on those steps in episode 10.) Style then says "But I didn't do anything to disappoint you."

I actually had a question about this line to my friend as well: for the English translation the sentence was phrased in past tense and to me that sounds like Style is talking about something specific maybe back around that time when he failed to show up to teach, an incident clearly set in the past. The thing is, though, that Thai doesn't actually have verb tenses. There are words you can add to a sentence that will clarify whether a statement is about the past or the future, but the verb itself doesn't change and sometimes things can get a little muddy. This is one such case. And I was confused, because especially in retrospective where we know Style is actually in the middle of trying to get back the restaurant (he also states later in the scene that he is in the middle of doing something that he isn't sure is gonna work yet, meaning the restaurant has not yet been acquired at this point) I thought Style's statement could maybe also be taken as What I'm doing and working on right now isn't something that is wronging you. Since Style trying to buy back the restaurant is an on-going project that is happening off-screen at the very same time, it's not a one time thing that happened back when Fadel first got mad at Style. No, it's still happening at this very moment. I discussed this with my friend who thought about it for a moment and then decided that the present perfect tense would probably be the best solution here, since it implies that it's about something that started in the past and is still on-going (or still has an effect) in the present.

So Fadel says he doesn't want to be disappointed and Style tells him "But I haven't done anything to disappoint you." Because what Style has been doing will be the opposite of a disappointment for Fadel. If it works out, that is. Because if it doesn't, if Style fails then it will be a huge disappointment to Fadel. And so Style doesn't want to tell Fadel about it just yet, precisely because he knows Fadel doesn't like disappointments. But Fadel is missing all that context, and so to him the situation reads very differently. And he's hurt. And now he finally opens up to Style about it: "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?" Style doesn't reply, he just keeps looking at Fadel with a serious face.

I think he feels bad that Fadel feels like this, but I think he truly doesn't dare to reveal what he's doing. Style knows just how important the burger restaurant was/is for Fadel and how much he loved the place and I think Style assumes it will be an even bigger disappointment and blow to Fadel if Style outright tells him and then fails to deliver. And it's a disappointment that Style really doesn't want to see, because I think it would crush Style himself. I think Style would actually beat himself up about that. And so he keeps his plans to himself, because he's afraid of failure. This specific failure is one he really can't afford. Style stays silent and doesn't answer Fadel's question. Fadel continues to rage: "If you can't do it, don't promise me anything. Do you know how easy it is to overthink when I'm here?" Style still isn't saying anything. Fadel is done. "If you have something important to do, just focus on it. I don't want to slow you down."

Fadel turns to walk off angrily. Style moves at the speed of lightning to hold Fadel back. Fadel finally talked to him and Style is not gonna let him go that easily. They still have something to clear up. Fadel stops and turns back to look at Style again. Before Style even says anything, he pulls away his vest to reveal the heart burger pin that Fadel gave to him. The pin that is very important to Fadel, the pin Fadel is very protective of. In a way, the pin is Fadel's heart which he gave to Style only last episode. And it's right there. Fadel's heart. On Style's heart. In Style's heart. "You're the most important thing to me," is the first thing out of Style's mouth. Style is extremely serious right now. All of Style's decisions, all of Style's actions revolve around Fadel. And he really doesn't want to lose him. And even if he's afraid of failure and disappointing Fadel if he can't pull through with his plan, losing Fadel is worse, and so Style finally opens up at least a little bit: "I'm doing something for both of our futures." Again, Style is extremely serious. He isn't hiding behind a positive attitude, his words aren't performative in the slightest. This is extremely serious and extremely important. I think Fadel does believe him, but wants to confirm that it's true and also doesn't want to be kept in the dark. "What are you doing?" he asks, then throws Style a challenge, almost an attack: "Can you tell me?" You know your behavior is hurting me, will you keep it up for the sake of whatever it is you're apparently doing?

At this point everyone in the audience is screaming HE'S BUYING BACK THE RESTAURANT FOR YOU, YOU DIMWIT!!!!! at Fadel. But Fadel still isn't making the connection, despite the hint with the Heart Burger flag and the Heart Burger pin and Style dropping he's working on their shared future. Can you tell me? But Style can't. He doesn't quite dare. "Can you wait a little longer? I want to be certain about it first. I want to make sure I really can do it." This is a plea. Style is pleading with Fadel. I told you as much as I could and I really am trying my best. For us. Will you please give me the benefit of the doubt and be considerate of my feelings in this situation, too? As I said, I think Fadel did believe Style earlier already, but I think now Fadel really understands that what Style is doing is very important to Style, but that it comes with certain insecurities that Style isn't ready to open up about. Style never pressured Fadel to open up about anything he wasn't ready to open up about and Fadel isn't about to pressure Style either. Style is loud and clear on the fact that he has Fadel in mind and that Fadel is important to him. Fadel doesn't immediately answer and instead contemplates on the situation and Style's plea while Style keeps his eyes fixed on him. Fadel's reaction, Fadel's response really matters to Style right now. Their relationship depends on it. And then Fadel finally yields. Because Style and their relationship is just as important to Fadel. Even if the situation isn't ideal. "You really love surprising me, don’t you?" Fadel finally says. And let me just share the original wording, even if it doesn't make much of a difference:

You always like to surprise me. มึงนี่ชอบเซอร์ไพรส์กูตลอดเลยนะ [mueng - nîi - chôp - sêr-prai - guu - dtà-lòt - loiie - ná] you - [interjection] - like - surprise - me - always - [particle] - [particle]

(Alt. translation: You're always surprising me.)

I like that in Thai Fadel says Style always surprises him, because to me it highlights how for the past 12 episodes we really have watched Style surprise Fadel all the time. Over and over again. In many different ways. God, I love them, I love their story so much. Anyway. Back to the scene. Fadel says this and Style understands that Fadel is no longer outright pushing him away or blocking him anymore. Style replies:

Then come learn how to fix cars with me again. งั้นมาเรียนซ่อมรถกับกูใหม่นะ [ngán - maa - riian - sôm - rót - gàp - guu - mài - ná] then - come - learn - fix, repair - car(s) - with - me - again - [na] Official subs: Come back to class.

The phrasing of the official subs sounded a bit too much like a direct order in their written form, especially without the context of Style's friendly tone, which is why I wanted to share a softer phrasing for the purpose of this meta. Because Style's words aren't an order. They're an invitation. If you've forgiven me, come see me again regularly. They're a peace offering. Fadel stays grumpy and grumbles: "I've been taking the course for years, and I still don't know how to fix anything." It's a stab at Style, but not an aggressive one. And it doesn't have anything to do with their original conflict. Fadel is leaving that conflict behind. Fadel has forgiven Style, even if he doesn't outright say it. Style finally laughs (or rather snorts) for the first time this entire scene and for a moment it looks like he's about to cry from relief that Fadel is no longer angry and that their relationship is saved:

Fadel continues with his grumbly teasing: "All you do is yap." The relationship really is back on. Style teases Fadel right back: "But that's exactly what you love about me, isn't it?" This isn't just Style going along with Fadel's teasing, it's also Style telling Fadel No matter how grumpy you pretend you are, no matter how much you were ignoring me, I know you never stopped loving me, I know you still love me now.

And finally, Fadel breaks. He laughs for a moment. Because he can't deny Style's call-out. Both, that he still loves Style and that he likes that Style is a chatty cat. Fadel pulls up the Heart Burger flag from the origami bouquet. Style laughs in surprise. Why? I don't know. You decide. Maybe he thought Fadel had stomped on it in dramatic anger. Or maybe he's thinking Oh wow, did the bouquet and the flag actually work? Is that what finally made him come see me again? Fadel is still holding up the flag and says that it's cute. And again you can really see the relief in Style's eyes, alongside his joy that things are looking better now with Fadel.

Style asks Fadel to clean the board and Fadel grumbles about it, but does it anyway. Because when does Fadel not give in to Style.

No. 10: Show, Don't Tell

We reach year 5 and finally the brothers are released. We check in with our foursome on the day the brothers get to go home. Bison walks through the door first, runs up to Kant and hugs him. In the meantime, Style is sat on the hood of the car. Fadel doesn't immediately walk up to him, but instead stops behind/next to Kant and Bison who discuss just how much they missed each other. Style doesn't pass up the opportunity to tease Fadel (and I think Style, too, wants a proper greeting, thank you very much):

Hey. This couple said they missed each other. เฮ้ย คู่นี้เขาบอกคิดถึงกันด้วยนะ [hóiie • kûu níi - kăo - bòhk - kít-tĕung - gan - dûuay - ná] hey • this couple - tell - miss - each other - too - [particle] Official subs: Hear that? He said he missed him and all that. So how about you, did you miss me? แล้วมึงอ่ะ คิดถึงกูป่ะ [láew - mueng - àh • kít-tĕung - guu - bpà] and - you - [particle] • miss - me - ? Official subs: Did you miss me at all?

(Sharing this mostly because I feel like it and I know a lot of you love the language bits, not because the literal wording makes any difference in this case lol)

Fadel announces "I'm not saying it", but the reality of the matter is that Style's wish is Fadel's command. And so Fadel walks up to Style and plants a kiss on his lips. "I'm showing it."

But before they break apart, Style pats Fadel like easy tiger, we have company. I do think this is about Kant and Bison's live slug reaction and not because Style doesn't want to be kissing Fadel right now. I think Style is trying to be considerate of the other two. After the kiss, Style gets up, hugs Fadel and over his shoulder nods at Kant and Bison and boastfully points at Fadel like Did you guys see that?? That's my man!! It's the exact same energy as he had at the end of episode 9 when he was raising his eyebrows at Kant and Bison in the boat. It's the You guys don't have a Fadew like me energy. (I'm out of images for this post, but here's a parallel gifset.) I love just how proud Style always is of Fadel, and how happily he'll show him off.

While Fadel and Style are busy hugging, Kant and Bison discuss where they should go to now. Style jumps in to ask "Hey, can you guys drop me off near my place first?" and Fadel gets confused: "What do you mean, 'your place'? The garage?" Fadel's confusion might be a little weird, because why exactly would Fadel be so confused about "my place"? That seems pretty self-explanatory in English, no? Well, let me explain. Because there's something really interesting going on here in Thai...

Now, I didn't go back and rewatch the entire show to check (if I did, it would be March until I finally drop this meta lol), but as far as I remember they usually refer to Style's place as "the garage", or อู่ [ùu] in Thai. But here for this line, when Style say "my place", he does not use the word อู่ [ùu] (= garage). Instead, he asks to be dropped off at his ร้าน [ráan]. Now what does that mean? This word means "store" or "shop" and like in English it can be paired with other words to specify just what kind of shop it is, for example:

ร้านหนังสือ [ráan năng-sĕu]: ráan (store) + năng-sĕu (book) = book store

ร้านดอกไม้ [ráan dòhk mái]: ráan (store) + dòhk mái (flower) = flower shop

You may have noticed that I said Style says just ร้าน [ráan], without specifying what kind of shop it is. Because just like in English, you can drop the specification and refer to it as just "the shop" (or ร้าน [ráan] in this case).

Now here comes the interesting bit: this word is also used when referring to food related places such as...

restaurant = ร้านอาหาร [ráan aa-hăan] -> ráan (shop) + aa-hăan (food)

coffee shop = ร้านกาแฟ [ráan gaa-fae] -> ráan (shop) + gaa-fae (coffee)

Or, you know, it's also in... ร้านเบอร์เกอร์ [ráan ber-gêr]. Now, เบอร์เกอร์ is "burger", but written in Thai letters. I don't have to tell you what ráan burger translates to, do I?

Oh, and at his point I should probably also mention that while the characters usually refer to Style's place as อู่ [ùu] (garage), when they talk about Fadel's place (the diner) they usually call it ร้าน [ráan] (shop, restaurant).

So yeah. The moment Style dropped that he wanted to be taken to his ร้าน [ráan] instead of his อู่ [ùu] (= garage) was the moment I started screaming, because that's when I knew for sure Style had bought back the restaurant and more importantly, that he had succeeded in doing so (yes, I did scream as if I didn't already know they were gonna be back at the restaurant through the clips shown in the MVs and from pics the boys posted during the shoot where they posed in front of the burger shop sign and their clothes matched the ones from the clips lol).

As I already mentioned, Style refers to it as just ร้าน [ráan] without specifying what kind of ร้าน [ráan] it is and it's vague enough that Fadel doesn't catch on the surprise, but it's just weird enough for Fadel to get confused: "What do you mean, 'ร้าน [ráan]'? The garage (อู่ [ùu])?" Yeah, Fadel's confusion here is about Style's unexpected word choice, because usually Style doesn't refer to his garage as ร้าน [ráan] (= shop, store). This is how they used to refer to the diner before Fadel had to go to prison. Style tells him he'll know soon and urges him to get into the car. They all do and Kant drives off.

No. 11: Surprise Surprise

The surprise works. Fadel didn't see it coming. "You said it was sold to someone." Style nods, making a m-hm sound, an adoring smile on his face that just oozes love and care. I really wish I could add a gif or a screenshot of his face, but unfortunately there's an image limit. I mean, you've seen the episode. You know how head over heels in love Style looks throughout this entire scene.

Style explains he bought it back for Fadel who then says Style didn't have to do that. Style says "I worked my ass off to buy this place back for you." I'm not entirely happy with the phrasing in the official subs, because to me there is also a negative connotation hidden in the phrase "work one's ass off", in the sense of "I worked my ass off for [xyz] and you don't appreciate it". But that might just be my ESL brain, maybe the media I've consumed mostly used this phrase in a more negative context and now my brain associates it with that.

In Thai Style uses the expression ตั้งใจทำงาน [dtâng jai tam ngaan] which does translate to "to work hard", but this expression contains the word ตั้งใจ [dtâng jai] which means "to intend to" or "to mean". I think it highlights with how much intention Style did this for Fadel. Style really meant to do this, like he's meant a lot of other things he's said or done over the last few episodes.

And Style putting in so much work also really shows how much he's grown. Because in the first half of the show I kept wondering why he had so much time to run after Fadel. We were told Style works as a mechanic, but we rarely saw him do any actual work. Instead, Style was able to follow Fadel's routine at the market or at the sports field or was even able to randomly help Fadel work at the restaurant without any scheduling problems and I kept thinking... what about his job at the garage? Is he never working? How does he have so much time to bother Fadel? And earlier in episode 12 Style's dad actually confirms just that: "You always only fixed a few cars a month." So Style, indeed, had the time to keep bugging Fadel. And back then it seemed like he didn't really have anything to do, didn't really have a goal or any direction in life. But then Kant sets Style on Fadel. And suddenly Style has a mission. And then Style falls in love. And now he suddenly has goals to work towards. We saw it last episode already, when Style suddenly started to make plans (first, his elaborate plan on getting Fadel and Bison on the run and second, during his last supper with Fadel when Style suggests making a plan for their life and their relationship while Fadel was imprisoned), and now it's not just that Style has started planning, but he makes plans with a very specific goal in mind and puts all his efforts in to reach this goal. He's no longer running around doing whatever. Style has really matured in this regard, Fadel's influence has changed him and has made him grow.

When Style says how determined he was to work hard to earn money to buy back the restaurant, his voice is somehow both soft and firm at the same time. His voice is so soft and filled with so much love, but there is some urgency to it, because Style needs Fadel to know this and he needs Fadel to know that he wanted to do this for him. Style knows he didn't have to, but Style wanted to. And it's important to him that Fadel really understands this. Because over the years Fadel has so often blocked or disregarded or struggled to accept all the nice things that Style has done for him. And Style doesn't want his act of love to be devalued again, especially not when he has spent so much time, effort, and energy on it purely out of love. A love that is worth it.

It's finally hitting Fadel what Style was so busy with when Fadel was sulking at him. Style confirms with another "mh". God, Style's heart eyes are really off the charts in this scene. "I wasn't sure I could do it so I didn't tell you," Style explains. And then he tells Fadel how he managed to keep up the energy in order to succeed despite his uncertainty: "But the image of you being back in this restaurant gave me this great strength to fix at least a hundred cars." Style smiles a bright, adoring smile. He's so in love. Fadel takes Styles hand and thanks him: "Thank you for doing this for me and for waiting for me." When Style responds, he actually phrases his sentence in a less direct and more general way in Thai than he does in the official subs:

Well, when you love someone, you gotta be able to wait. ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ [gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì] well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle] Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.

This is an interesting difference between the Thai wording and the English subs, because once Fadel and Style start dating, Style actually rarely ever outright says the words "I love you" (and neither does Fadel, by the way). The only time Style properly says it is when Fadel has him at gun point in episode 7:

But now that I know the real you, I love you for real, Fadel. แต่พอกูรู้ตัวจริงของมึงแล้วอ่ะ กูรักมึงจริงๆนะฟาเดล [dtàe - poh - guu - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung - láew - àh • guu - rák - mueng - jing jing - ná - Fadel] but - when - I - know - real you - already - [particle] • I - love - you - really, for real - [na] - Fadel Official subs: Now that I know you, I really love you, Fadel.

And then arguably he says it again in episode 10 when he comforts Fadel on the stairs, although it's up to debate if that really counts as a direct "I love you":

But that I'm still staying / But that I still stayed แต่ที่กูยังอยู่ [dtàe - tîi - guu - yang - yùu] but - that - I - still - stay Official subs: But I stay with you is because I love that you're you / is because I love you for being you เพราะกูรักที่เป็นมึง [próh - guu - rák - tîi - bpen - mueng] because - I - love - that - be - you Official subs: because I love who you are.

Any other time Style talks about "love", he never addresses Fadel directly but phrases it in a more general way, using the word คน [kon] which means "person" or "people" instead of a pronoun. Style does this in episode 10 just a little while after the above line:

The more I know how much you care about me, ยิ่งกูรู้ว่ามึงแค่ร์กูขนาดเนี่ย [yîng - guu - rúu - wâa - mueng - kâe - guu - kà-nàat nîia] the more - I - know - that - you - care (about) - me - like this, this much Official subs: Knowing how much you care about me the more I know that I don't love the wrong person. มันยิ่งทำให้รู้นะว่ากูอ่ะ รักคนไม่ผิด [man - yîng - tam hâi - rúu - ná - wâa - guu - àh • rák - kon - mâi - pìt] it - the more - make that, cause - know - [particle] - that - I - [particle] • love - person - not - wrong Official subs: makes me certain that I didn't choose the wrong man.

And he also does it in episode 9 when Fadel opens up about his ex for the first time on the island:

A person who risks their own life for someone they don't even know. คนที่เอาชีวิตตัวเองไปเสี่ยงเพื่อคนที่ไม่รู้จักด้วยซ้ำ [kon - tîi - ao - chee-wít dtuua eng - bpai - sìiang - pêuua - kon - tîi - mâi - rúu-jàk - dûuay sám] person - that - take - one's own life - go - risk - for - person - that - not - know - even Official subs: You risked your life for a total stranger. I love the right person. กูรักถูกคนแล้วละ [guu - rák - tùuk - kon - láew - lá] I - love - right - person - already - [particle] Official subs: I know I'm in love with the right man.

And Style does it again now in episode 12, standing in front of the restaurant with Fadel. And let me just repeat the line with an even more literal translation this time (this sentence really doesn't work well in a literal translation in English, especially because English also comes with plural forms rip):

Well, people who love, they gotta be able to wait. / Well, a person who loves, has to be able to wait. ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ [gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì] well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle] Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.

This time Style actually switches it around, because previously คน [kon] implicitly referred to Fadel, while this time คน [kon] actually refers to Style himself. And for some reason the official translator went for a direct "I love you" when Style neither says "I", nor says "you". In the entire series, Fadel and Style rarely say the words "I love you" word for word to each other. It's very clear that they do love each other, but they never outright say it. Instead they say things like "I'm worried about you" or "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you" or "I don't feel so sad anymore. I'm happier." And they don't really need to tell each other I love you anyway, because their actions speak for themselves. It's like Fadel said the moment he got out of prison: "I'm not saying it. I'm showing it." And yes, this line was about missing Style, but really, this sentiment also goes for their love, for both Fadel as well as Style. So Style doesn't directly say he loves Fadel, instead Style just implies it and it's only in the next line where he doesn't mention the word "love" that he directly addresses Fadel:

Whether it's 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, I can always wait for you. จะ 5 ปี 10 ปี 20 ปี รอมึงได้เสมอแหละ [jà - hâa - bpii - sìp - bpii - yîi-sìp - bpii - raw - mueng - dâai - sà-mĕr -làe] will - 5 - years - 10 - years - 20 - years - wait (for) - you - be able to - always - [particle] Official subs: Whether it’s five, ten, or twenty years, I'll wait for you.

And this is the point where I get jumpscared by Dunk's voice suddenly blasting through my speakers. I wish the editors had made the music just a little more quiet. It gets me every single time, because every single time I watch this scene I get so immersed that I completely forget about the jumpscare. Fadel and Style lovingly stare at each other while I scramble to save the health of my eardrums. Then Fadel says he'll work hard to pay Style back, but Style doesn't want that. Technically Style is the current owner, and if Fadel were to pay him back then it would be like Fadel was buying the restaurant from Style. But that's not how Style wants to see it. Because this isn't Style's restaurant that Fadel has to buy from him. No, it's their restaurant. It's already their restaurant. Because obviously if Style owns it, then Fadel owns it, too. It's both a gift to Fadel and something that Style bought for them to share. Because "I'm here to support you in all your dreams." Because no one means well for Fadel more than Style does.

Fadel says "I sure am a lucky guy. I've been doing bad things my entire life, but I have the best boyfriend in the world." Style throws his head to the side, smiling, half in an Oh, you sweet-talker way and half in a No need to mention it, kinda way. Then he says "It's all thanks to Kant for daring me to take you out." And this is actually a reference to the title. The Thai name of the series goes:

He hired me to flirt with a hitman เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า [kăo - jâang - hâi - pŏm - jìip - nák-kâa] he - hire - that - I - hit on, flirt, woo - assassin

And this is what Style says:

[...] for hiring me flirt with you. [...] ที่จ้างกูมาจีบมึง [tîi - jâang - guu - maa - jìip - mueng] that - hire - I - come - hit on, flirt, woo - you

Style laughs and Fadel smiles, too, and then Style pulls the Heart Burger pin out of his pocket. Without a word, he carefully pins it onto Fadel's shirt while Fadel makes heart-eyes at him. It's a parallel to Fadel putting the pin on Style last episode. The ring pin exchange is complete. Style says "From now on, everything is yours." They're all but married. Style still has his hand on Fadel's chest by the pin. Fadel goes to grab it. They smile at each other. Then they turn and together they enter the restaurant, their restaurant, their shared future, hand in hand.

No. 12: Dinner With Mom

At night, when Fadel and Style are done at the ร้าน [ráan] (restaurant) they do go to Style's อู่ [ùu] (garage). And I love how Style immediately calls out that Fadel is here. Style is so excited to tell his dad the joyful news. But but before he has the chance to share his good news, he gets surprised with bad news instead. A dinner invitation.

Our foursome once again gets together to fight evil. And of course, the evil dinner invitation calls for an urgent outfit change for all four of them. They're greeted by two men holding out guns, and Style is a bit startled for a moment, but otherwise keeps calm. The men demand Fadel's and Bison's guns and the brothers hand them over. The men then walk into the dining room and the the four of them look at each other before following the men inside where Lilly is waiting for them together with Babe and Style's dad tied up on their chairs. Kant and Style immediately call out to their loved ones. In general, I just love how worried about his dad Style is throughout the entire scene and how he keeps checking and communicating with him. I actually made a whole separate post about this with lots of gifs where I really go into detail about it, because the relationship between Style and his dad really needs to be appreciated in all its glory in gifs and tumblr simply just has an image limit of 30 gifs per (desktop) post. I can't afford to spend like 20 of them on Style and his dad alone. It was already tricky enough to limit everything I wanted to showcase for this episode to only 30 images in the first place. Anyway. Back to the scene.

Once again Style finds himself in danger, and once again he mainly stays out of the conflict between the brothers and their mother. We also aren't shown Style's face that much, so we can only make guesses as to how he feels listening to Lilly monologuing on and on and Bison raging at her. Style probably feels worried, especially for his dad. We know this, because in the beginning of the scene, before everyone sat down at the table, Style was very fixated on his dad and you could tell that he wanted nothing more than to run over to him and check if his dad was unharmed. When everyone is sitting at the table, sometimes the camera cuts into a wideshot and while we only see the back of Style's head, we can tell that he's looking at Lilly, so I assume he's paying close attention to her words and actions.

At some point, Kant chimes in: "It was me who exposed you. I masterminded the whole thing. If you want to kill someone, kill me. Just let my brother go." Style immediately jumps on board: "Kant was right. Let my Dad go. He doesn't know anything. I don't care what you do to me." We already learned in episode 9 that Style is very much willing to give his own life for the people he loves and so it doesn't come as a surprise at all that he's willing to offer himself up for his dad. However, in comparison to episode 9 there now is a hint of uncertainty to Style's voice, because he really doesn't know Lilly and so he can't predict her actions and reactions unlike he could with Fadel in episode 9. Lilly laughs a mocking laugh while Style and his dad exchange glances. And I love that they exchange glances here, because, to quote from my other post:

i love that style is communicating with his dad again at this very point, because style offering himself up will also affect his dad. his dad might be physically fine if style trades his dad for himself, but emotionally the dad will be ruined if lilly takes his son's life, especially when he's already had to deal with the loss of his wife years ago. style being willing to sacrifice himself isn't nothing, in fact, it's a very big deal and so the two of them communicate about it

Lilly continues to monologue and announces she has some poisonous drinks prepared for the occasion. Style turns to his dad and says "Dad. I'm sorry." His dad had absolutely nothing to do with this, his dad is totally innocent and Style hates that his dad was pulled into this and that his dad's life is now in danger.

We then don't see any shot of Style at all while Fadel and Bison plead with their mother and offer to continue working for her. We don't get to see Style immediate reaction to Lilly's announcement that she'll let her sons and their boyfriends go if her sons give their brother-in-law and their father-in-law the poisoned drink. There is a long pause and it's only right before Lilly asks "Can you do that?" that the camera goes back to Style and we see there is shock and concern. Shit's getting real.

Fadel and Bison say yes, they can. Style is most definitely very worried right now, but to be honest, I don't feel like he's all that terrified, I think that's more of a secondary feeling. He watches closely as Fadel lifts the glass towards his dad lips, and Style is clearly anxious and agitated and maybe a little afraid, but he doesn't say a single word to stop Fadel and I think deep down he does trust Fadel not to kill his dad, trusts Fadel to find a way out with dad unscathed. After all they've been through, I think Style trusts Fadel not to cause him such great pain. Although I do think Style is ready to swap the glass out of Fadel's hand at any given moment. But Fadel pulls through. From one moment to the next Fadel throws the wine into his mother's minion's face, attacks him, and Bison follows his lead. Style and Kant jump up to free their family.

Fadel and Bison kill the henchmen without remorse and end up with Lilly at gunpoint. Kant calls out for Bison not to kill her and Style offers to call the cops. Now that the immediate danger is over, we get to see a little bit of that Style again who tries to mediate and solve conflicts with as few people coming to harm as possible. But Fadel orders him not to get the police involved, so Style drops his phone, still concerned and not entirely happy, but without further protest. Style, Kant, and their family watch the brothers poison Lilly without interrupting them.

And I kinda love we do get to see Style witness Fadel actually murdering someone, because in my ep5 meta I wrote this:

"I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you." And there it is. Style's decision. [...] Fadel doesn't believe [Style's] promise, though. "Words are cheap. I'll do that when you're ready. You can judge, then." Again, I think Fadel has a point. [...] Because yes, Style may say he'll like Fadel no matter his occupation, but Style still hasn't seen the killer in action. Fadel's words mean Decide whether you still like me or not only when you find out my real occupation before you promise anything as much as they mean Decide whether you still like me or not once you've actually seen me murder someone in front of you before you promise anything. Style has already made a decision about the former, but he is yet to make a decision about the latter.

And so I love that Style is now able to make the choice of loving Fadel having seen Fadel truly at his worst, having seen him murder someone in cold blood.

I know for this meta I focus purely on character analysis, and I don't really criticize (whether it's acting performances or script writing or directing or whatnot), but I do wish the series would have spent a little more time on this, on Style seeing Fadel kill. Because Style is clearly affected by what he is witnessing.

Something truly horrible is happening right in front of his eyes. And it's a shame that Style finally seeing the killer in action gets kind of just glossed over in the very next moment when "I'm a killer, I'm a bad person, you should be wary of me" "I love you anyway" has been such a big theme for these two. It's kinda weird that we go from Style looking this horrified to Style being happy and content in bed, as if nothing had happened. That kill doesn't even get mentioned again. I feel like you could jump from the scene in front of the diner straight to Fadel and Style in bed and not notice that any major traumatizing event has occurred in between. Ah well. Let's move on.

No. 13: 100%

We come back to Fadel and Style sitting in Style's bed at night. Fadel is wondering if he should change the restaurant's name and Style thinks it's fine as it is. But Fadel says he wants Style to be a part of it, too, so Style suggests "Just add an S and a heart" and I'm just thinking... So, Heart Burgers? Or Hearts Burger, since he talks about an additional heart? Or maybe the S in an entirely different position? Whatever name Style is thinking of, according to him with an added S and another heart it'll be a better version than Fadel's version, because:

Because you have another heart right here. เพราะมีหัวใจอีกดวงเพิ่มขึ้นมาอยู่ตรงนี้ไง [próh - mii - hŭua-jai - ìik - duuang - pêrm kêun - maa - yùu - dtrong níi - ngai] because - have - heart - another - [classifier] - increased - come - be - here - [particle] Official subs: With another heart, that is.

Fadel likes Style's idea. And before I move on, I just want to go into more depth about this little sequence for a moment: after Fadel explains that he's thinking of changing the name because he wants Style to be part of it, too, Style looks like he thinks about something for a moment before he says "I don't think it needs much change." Of course, in this moment he is thinking about what exactly could be changed if Fadel really does want to change something, but the thing is, Style already likes the restaurant the way it is. He doesn't necessarily need the restaurant to change if Fadel is changing it just because he thinks Style would want him to change it. It really reminds me of episode 6 and the theme of "Be who you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be". If the restaurant represents Fadel's life, Style already likes Fadel the way he is. But if Fadel does want to change, there is something important to do: he needs to add a S(tyle) to his life. And another heart (Style's heart). With that, it will make a much better version of Fadel's life than it was before. And Fadel actually agrees.

I can't help but think back to the last time they were in Style's bed at night, all the way back in episode 5. Back then, Fadel really struggled with sharing his life with Style and letting him come close. Now Fadel actively wants Style to be part of his life. Now that he's done being a hitman, the restaurant can finally be Fadel's life, but it's not his restaurant alone, it's theirs. Getting to be part of Fadel's life is something Style has desired for a long time now and has even fought and argued with Fadel over on multiple occasions, and now Style is finally granted his wish. Fadel is finally letting Style in. When Fadel agrees that a better version would be one with an added S(tyle), Style looks at Fadel for a moment and thinks about something again.

Style knows Fadel loves him. And that actually reminds him... Style turns to grab something off the shelf next to him and proudly presents it to Fadel. The key to Kant's car. It's finally Style's. And I know from a story crafting perspective it makes sense for Style to receive the car only at the very end, but it's still really funny to me that Style was given the car only now, when Fadel has without a doubt been head over heels in love with Style for the past five years already. Because Fadel was without a doubt already head over heels in love with Style before he went to prison. But however long it took, what really matters is that Style did get the car, because a deal is a deal. And Style did indeed succeed. "If I could make you fall crazy in love with me, I'd get his car." When Style says that, his voice is full of affection and there's also a bit of teasing. I know you're head over heels in love with me. But Fadel tells Style to give the key back to Kant:

Because I don't love you that much. เพราะกูไม่ได้รักมึงขนาดนั้น [próh - guu - mâi dâai - rák - mueng - kà-nàat nán] because - I - not - love - you - to that extent Official subs: I’m not in love with you like that.

Style wordlessly stares at Fadel for a second while he's processing those words, blinks, then lowers his head. Really now?

Fadel looks at him, a grin most definitely hidden in his eyes, then huffs and pointedly ignores Style. It's a challenge. Style puts down the car key. Challenge accepted. Because Style is not one to back down from a challenge. This personality trait has stayed consistent until the end of the series. Style turns to loom over Fadel. "Are you sure that you're not head over heels in love with me?" Because Style knows with unwavering certainty that Fadel is. He just needs Fadel to admit to it. I've already talked about how Fadel and Style hardly say "I love you" to each other. Style, the person who loves so fiercely and so passionately and so loudly, already rarely says it himself and Fadel says it even less. In fact, ever since they've started dating the only other time Fadel has said he loves Style since that one time Fadel directly said it the night he found out about the betrayal in episode 6 was in the kitchen in episode 11 when he said he wants to "do what I love with who I love" and even then he actually doesn't literally say the words I love you, but rather just implies it. If anything, Fadel likes to claim he isn't actually in love with Style. And so I think Style wants to hear Fadel say differently out loud for once, even if Fadel's actions speak louder than his words anyway.

But Fadel continues to ignore him. I think Fadel is waiting to see what Style will do in order to draw the words out of Fadel's mouth that Style so desperately wants to hear. It's like he's testing Style's persistence. Style kisses Fadel's cheeks and asks "How much do you love me?" But Fadel isn't giving in to Style that easily and that quickly. "Only 30%." He knows Style is chasing those 100%. Style ups the ante and kisses Fadel's neck. This is a game now. "How much do you love me?" Fadel says "60% now" and looks up at Style, waiting to see what Style's next move is going to be. This time, Style goes for the mouth, goes for a full make-out session even. Then Style asks again: "How much do you love me?" He grins at Fadel expectantly and he's definitely also a little bit satisfied and proud. Fadel doesn't reply immediately, just puts his hand on Style's face and looks at him for a moment. And then Fadel finally gives in and says "100%".

Again, this meta isn't supposed to be a review or a criticism piece on the story, but I do think it's a bit of a shame that the conversations about percentages wasn't about trust. Because I feel like the main question with them over the series wasn't really Does Fadel love Style? but rather Does Fadel trust Style? And trust was also the big theme of episode 5, the episode that Fadel and Style's game in episode 12 is a callback to: "A guy like me doesn't go trusting someone 100%." And a little later in episode 5, when they're in Style's bed, Style more or less opens the conversation with "Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe," which again is about trust, not love. This theme continues also in episode 8, when Fadel handcuffs Style to the bed, because "I don't trust you", not because he doesn't love Style. Episode 8 is all about Style trying to gain Fadel's trust again, not his love: "What do I have to do for you to trust me?" The episode 12 dialogue does work in a way, because Fadel did say he didn't love Style or didn't like him all that much multiple times over the course of the series, and he even makes a comment like that in this very scene that we're currently discussing. But the thing is, Style never actually believes Fadel whenever Fadel claims he doesn't love Style (that much) and Style even calls him out on his "I don't love you" claim in episode 8: "You might be good at cooking and shooting, but you're not very good at lying at all." Style never doubted that Fadel loved him, but trust has been a very big issue. In fact, trust also played a role only this very episode when Fadel was sulking at Style when Style couldn't come in to teach in prison. Because in episode 10 Fadel had told Style "I don't want to have any expectations just to be disappointed" and Fadel had trusted Style not to disappoint him, except then Style seemingly does disappoint him and that hurts Fadel ("I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." [...] "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?"). It makes Fadel feel like he can't trust Style, not that he can't love Style. And the question in that scene is whether Fadel can trust Style to really be working on something for their future that Style can't share yet, it's not whether Style loves him. So yeah. I feel like the dialogue about the percentages would have been a much cleaner parallel/callback if it had been about Fadel trusting Style, not about Fadel loving Style. Because we all, including Style, know that Fadel has always loved Style. He just didn't always trust him. But now he does. 100%. Style once decided "One day, I'll be your 100%" and now he is. They celebrate that by making out some more.

When they part again, Style tells Fadel "You know what? Having you is worth more than winning that car" and I'm filled with satisfaction upon hearing that, because I said more or less exactly the same thing three episodes ago in my ep9 meta:

[I]t's actually kinda funny, because Style agreed to make Fadel his boyfriend, but it's been how many episodes since they've started dating?? And we have yet to see Style with said car. [...] [A]s of episode 6 it was Kant who was still in possession of the car, despite Style and Fadel being head over heels in love by that point [...]. Style may have gone into it for the car, but he never actually took the car and by now the car is long forgotten. I didn't go and check, but as far as I remember Style hasn't even brought the car up to Kant ever since that scene in episode 4 where he initially came to claim it. At this point, Style would much rather have Fadel than the car anyway.

(Bolded for emphasis)

Now please forgive me if I skip the rest of the love scene, but I do want to get this post done before the end of the month, if possible. I think the main take-away is that now they both very much want each other and are very much into it, with nothing holding either one of them back.

No. 14: Driving Into the Sunset

Of course their last scene would be of them driving into the (metaphorical) sunset together in Kant's car that Style has finally won. Fadel and Style check in with Kant and Bison in Iceland. After the call, Fadel asks if Style would also like to go on a trip. Obviously Style wants to. "I usually travel with my Dad. Never done it with my boyfriend before," Style says, at which point, upon me showing my language buddy and Thai language consultant this scene, he goes "...the kidnapping, though?" and I break into laughter, because my friend is right. Yeah, Style, what do you mean you've never gone on a trip with your boyfriend? *gestures at episodes 8 and 9* Right, wots all this then?

I mean, technically you could argue that during that time Fadel wasn't actually Style's boyfriend, but let's be real, Style never got that memo. Or rather he went I recognize that the Council has made a decision. But given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.

Anyway, whether it'll be their first trip, their second trip, or their hundredth trip, I don't think Style will ever say no to traveling with Fadel. Fadel suggests planning a trip later and then, at the mention of Style's dad, asks how Style's dad is taking the news of Fadel being an ex-assassin and ex-prisoner. I do think Style's dad is genuinely chill with it, but once again I wish the series would have dwelled just a little bit more on the aftermath of the Lilly incident and on how it affected everyone involved. Because it was quite a traumatic and brutal incident, and it's a bit jarring how everyone is all sunshine and rainbows from one second to the next. But for the sake of this meta and the next line, I'll just assume that everyone, including Style's dad, worked through it all off-screen. Style says that his dad is totally okay with it, because "He said I need someone with a past like yours to tie me down." The Thai wording is slightly different, actually:

My dad said someone like me needs to meet someone with a history like yours. พ่อกูอ่ะ บอกว่าคนอย่างกูต้องเจอคนมีประวัติแบบมึง [pôh guu - àh • bòhk - wâa - kon - yàang - guu - dtông - jer - kon - mii - bprà-wàt - bàep - meung] my dad - [particle] • say - that - person - like - me - have to, need to - meet - person - have - history - like - you

I like that in the original phrasing it doesn't state the "to tie me down" part. The Thai line leaves it up to the viewer's interpretation as to why exactly Style would need someone with a past like Fadel's. Personally, I took it in a "Style needs someone fucked up enough to be able to stand and handle and appreciate all of Style's unhingedness". And I don't necessarily think that Fadel would actively try to tie Style down, since Style's shameless loudness and Style's ability to unabashedly be himself and say things without a filter is exactly what Fadel loves him for. I think Fadel tying Style down ("taming" him *wink wink*) happens more as a byproduct of both of them influencing each other and changing into better versions of themselves when they're together.

The words of Style's dad make Fadel laugh. Then he says: "You know, I still remember what I promised your dad before I went to jail." Style looks over to him and asks "What did you promise?" Style smiles and I see both joy as well as curiosity on his face.

I think Style knows exactly what promise Fadel is referring to, but he's dying to hear the words out loud out from Fadel's mouth. His expression is also very expectant, almost challenging when he's done speaking. The little head tilt afterwards is almost like he's saying Pray do tell. Fadel replies: "I told him I'd go talk to him after five years." As I said, I think Style knew what the promise was, but I think actually hearing Fadel say it still gives him a thrill and causes butterflies in his tummy. He looks over to Fadel in pure delight.

And I love, love, LOVE that Fadel was the one to bring it up first. Because at some point after episode 8, when there were so many references to a FadelStyle marriage and I seriously started thinking about the possibility of a canon FadelStyle wedding or at least a wedding proposal (lmao joke's on me rip), I was contemplating about who of the two would propose first and who I'd prefer to do so. And I thought Style proposing would fit with his personality, especially since he himself said "I could spring a ring on you one day and just ask you to marry me." It seemed fit that the series would end with Style doing exactly just that. But then I contemplated some more and thought, actually, I would love it if Fadel was the one to propose. Because in the series it's always Style who is chasing Fadel, it's always Style proving over and over again that he really wants Fadel in his life while Fadel spends the majority of the series pushing Style away (and Fadel does it again even in the finale when he's mad at Style during year 4!). And I thought that it would probably mean the world to Style if Fadel proposed. Because it would showcase that Fadel wants Style in his life just as much as Style wants Fadel in his life. It would show Style that the feeling is mutual, that Fadel wants it for himself, too. That a marriage isn't something Fadel agreed to just because Style asked for it or talked him into it or anything like that. Fadel proposing would show Style that Fadel is choosing Style out of his own free will the way Style has been choosing Fadel over and over again. I'm once again reminded of @braceletofteeth's tags on this post:

#Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid #just like he takes pride in choosing his own man #he would be proud to be chosen as Fadel's man #delighted‚ if Fadel let others (and Style) know he's the one who earned the space reserved for his special someone #in his heavily secured heart #if he was so special to Fadel that he wouldn't want him to be taken away #or to share him with anyone else

Fadel asking for Style's hand in marriage, Fadel marrying Style would be Fadel claiming Style, it would be Fadel making an announcement to the world that Style is his and his alone. It would be Fadel choosing Style and Style would even have a ring to prove it. To prove that he is Fadel's. To prove that Fadel is his. I just thought Fadel being the one to propose would mean the world to Style. And judging by the joy in Style's face in the above gif, it absolutely does mean the world to him. That Fadel is the one to bring up the prospect of marriage.

Style asks if Fadel is serious and Fadel says yes, he is, but that he wants to have the chat only once the restaurant is up and running again (at least that's how I interpreted this statement). Style says "No need to hurry." He most definitely wants to marry Fadel one day, but I think he's got a point with this. After all, it's only now that they can finally start dating "properly", can finally experience the couple life with both of them out of prison, all cards out in the open, both parties trusting and loving each other mutually, and most importantly, without fearing for their lives. "No need to push yourself. After everything that we've been through, still staying together is already beyond anything we expected." Their relationship really is chill the way it is, there is no need to rush anything. They can get married when they both feel the time is right for it. I think that's what Style is getting at here. Fadel agrees. Then he says "I thought I'd die alone." Style knows that well. They discussed this last episode by the gravestone. And back then, Style had already announced that he wouldn't let Fadel get lonely in death. Now he says: "We'll die one day, but we'll die together of old age." They're gonna have that old man yaoi future together.

Fadel laughs, claims Style is cheesy, but still plants a big kiss on Style's lips. Uhhhh, Fadel, so what about the lecture you gave Style about safe driving the first time you guys met? All of that goes right out of the window as Style and Fadel continue to plant kisses on each other. How's that for character growth?

And off they drive into the night. Style's got both the car of his dreams as well as the man of his dreams. What more could Style want?

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11)

#the heart killers #thk #stylefadel #fadelstyle #thk meta #thkmetamine #thk ep12 #adrm #SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPLOAD #ALSO SORRY I KNOW I SAID I WANTED TO UPLOAD IT YESTERDAY #but then yesterday my mom came up to me suggesting we eat out #bc she had to go to the nearby town where my other thai friend lives who barely speaks german or english #and my mom suggested we go eat at her restaurant and so that's what we did #and so instead of finishing my meta i went and got a lot of thai speaking practice dgdkjjkfd #also!! we (including my friend) were chatting with some other customer at some point and i mentioned i watched thai series #in in that conversation my friend suddenly went #''oh yeah i never actually heard you talk about any thai stars that you're into‚ what actors do you like?''#and i panicked and then said joong archen and my friend was like ''ohhh joong!!''#turned out that she knew (of?) joong and that the cook at the restaurant had also watched the heart killers lmaoooo we love #(he's is also a sweetheart btw) (the cook i mean) (except i struggle to understand him bc the way he talks confuses me dfjkkjdfs)

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