#HOW CIULD I FORGET

[auqroix]

more dgs sketchies throughout the months

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.

I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.

Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?

[kkima1256]

oooooohhhh i do need to do this

john ward and father garcia as good christian magical girls

[blueshykitsune-blog]

Huh seems I'm not the only one to have the thought to use the app i mentioned before so... here's Randall I guess.

Okay well let me ramble a little first.

So I do have artwork I made of Randall myself but I forgot to put a signature on them and it's only the lined art I think and well I dunno where the one book with Randall in it fully colored is right now (If it was Randall I dunno right now.) And I think I may have accidentally deleted my pixelart one.

However I really wanted to Show people Randall or the best design I got right now as I haven't gotten to drawing him again quite yet and I might do that tomorrow. Maybe.

Okay so the second image has blood like splatter in it. Or it's what it looks like and was made in vision of a maybe scrapped part of his story. Dunno if I'll add it in or not as I redoing some of the later chapters and making what I had read be pushed further down in the number of chapters.

Anyways Randall ❤ below ⬇️

Ahem so this is Randall and I used to make the design placement for now was this app called Monster Girl Maker 2, made by Ghoulkiss.

It might not be on all devices and well it's good app for when you are having artblock, need references for your own characters, a place to put down a multiple character designs that are test designs, or plenty of other things. Although mostly make feminine or female based characters as it has very limited male potential but makes sense if you look at the name of the app.

Sadly there's limits and there's a few things you'd have to pay to use but it's fine even without those just limits what you can do. And like I've mentioned before I myself usually use it for references or when I wanna have a character design for a character when artblocked or unable to draw for reasons.

Anyways onto Randall he uses He/Him pronouns and is cisgendered, he just occasionally wears dresses, skirts, and clothes many considered for females or feminine. Of course normally not in public at least not at first. Maybe later he will even if forced.

He's very Bunny and I mean I quite literally made him a full bunny version before because he was just so adorable. If you can't tell I love him.

He does have scars too which can be hard to add in that app because there limited stuff I can do with scars as of now so when I actually draw him I'll likely have a better display of his scars if I don't forget them again like I have in the past accidentally.

He's honestly quite poor, like he literally looses his job within the literal first sentence He's introduced and it just explains how he's beyond broke for the first while before... well that's spoilers.

He loves alcohol and is quite addicted to it. He's bisexual with a huge lean towards males. He's not religious and quite honestly might be Atheist I haven't thought about it much.

No I'm not using AI for him. If you see one of him ignore it, actually report it if you must. I hate it, the AI. But if I ever do say I asked him I'm literally just consulting the Randall who is like permanently in my brain now because yeah... he ain't leaving. No AI. (I'mallowing myself one... okay two swear word useage here, okay? <This is to myself everyone>) Fuck AI especially chatbots and art bots! FUCK THEM! <Only "AI" I accept is the ones that control you enemies in games. And I don't fully count them as what we call AI now adays.>

Back to Randall he is my comfort bunny and I pretend he's real as he really does help comfort me. If I can imagine him well enough or occasionally when I get too sad, he helps a lot. Like imagine hugging a 4'9 to 5'0 guy in a dress that has a bunny tail sewn to it and he got some bunny ears on just to make you call him you bunny boy because he loves it.

His name came from a random name generator <I think ciuld be wrong it was like 2 years ago> and well he became a very complex layered with a story, personality, and more. He's basically a complete person if not for me not adding a few things to him... and the very conflicting kink he has which can be explained by @hiddeninsideaninsanemind if you must know what his kinks are I guess... <why would you?>

Anyways Randall. One of my favorite characters! Yes he's my character and I might go force someone to take down stuff relating to him because I never gave them permission and still don't. They even stole my account name... or a similar one so yeah I have a two year beef with someone because of stuff and they dared mess with my comfort characters!

Yeah anyways ignore ghat last paragraph. You all got to see a simple design of Randall. Of course gotta say not my art and I only saw Ghoulkiss on Instagram so if you wanna go find the artist that's them and they are the one who made Monster girl maker and Monster girl maker two. So yeah... go check them out as they pretty cool artist honestly.

[t4tneonj]

not sure what to do with the parallels between how NSR ends and how octo expansion ends but i am a. different person

[outtathevirgosupercluster]

August 22 2017, 10:35pm

sometimes... i wish people wouldnt get attached to me. I wish I could run away and everyone ciuld forget abiut me and i could die in peace in the forest or somethinf but no.. no people just have to go ahead and like me, or love me, and I just have to go and fall in love. The funny thing about depression is you just kind of assume youd work up the courage to actually go through with all your plans, and send out your suicide notes (that you still, to this day, have stashed in your closet and sometimes add to), but you... never actually do and now, until that day, you actually try a little bit to work out a plan for yourself in case you never do it. But youre so far behind. Everyone else knows what to do, they have their plan. I stopped planning at the age of 12 and ive been rolling with the punches ever since. rolling with the punches is easy when youre in school and everyone knows who you are nd you have a schedule and you know whats going on everyday because you had no control over it but then you graduate and... then for the first time in your life you have full control over everythung and all your crutches fall away but its as if you still dont know how to walk, even after years of using crutches. Youve thought about walking and been tested on walking and even DREAMED of it.. but nobody ever actually stood you up without your crutches and held your hands until you could walk. They just expect you to know, even give you a bit of a shove, but then youre on your face in the mud and nobody knows your name and your friends stopped inviting you to movie nights and the only one of your close friends that youve seen all summer, who you saw every day for the last 3 years, is your boyfriend. And you havent even known him for a full year yet.

All i ever hear at home anymore is yelling. fuck this and fuck you and get your license and stop being stupid and hey asshole and hes not good enough and youre not good enough is all i ever hear and i hate it. id rather be sitting at school crying then sitting at home because at least at school i had somewhere to go or people to hug. At home? if im crying i get a raised hand and a "if you dont be quiet ill give you something to cry about." No child should ever be afraid of their parents. god am i terrified. I cant stand up for myself. I cant say no. I cant correct them. Its a prison. I want to get out but i cant afford to get out and i have nowhere to turn.

i feel like im homeless.