#HONESTLY i want to meet every department and have a long chat about wtf is going on over there

[strangerpixels]

so EA made a game pack... and called it an expansion

[glowstickhaloboy]

klance roommates au

usual disclaimer: its long as hell

keith is the newly hired, up-and-coming sales rep of his office job. hes fresh out of college, determined, and as awkward as he is in real life, he knows how to make a sale because its all scripted. his boss, doris, a wrinkly old lady who brings in cookies for the office at the end of every month, adores this strapping young man with a real work ethic.

his brother, shiro, is an ethics professor at the local university, Bullshit University (BU). while shiro is glad that keith is doing really well in life for this age, he has this annoying habit of constantly asking keith if hes alright, or if he needs anything, or if theres anything he feels like he wants to do to make himself better. keith always says no.

BU has a bs program called Apprenticeship, wherein a student will be mentored/sponsored by a professor, and the ethics department is head of the program, so shiro also hand picks his own apprentice and its a Big Deal and there are so many kids who apply for it not only because professor shirogane is hot as balls, but because this program gives out credits like candy. this semester’s lucky apprentice is none other than lance mcclain.

lance, if you ask him, will say that this all went completely according to plan and he never once doubted that shiro would pick him. on the inside, he is in an eternal state of wtf wtf wtf wtf how did i do this??!?!?!!!

keith knows that this is something shiro does because shiro likes to update keith on his life, so he’ll call and they’ll chat for a while and usually there will be some mention of an apprentice and whats going on with their studies. as the school year comes to an end, keith obligingly asks shiro who his chosen apprentice is for the upcoming year.

the line goes quiet.

“shiro? did i lose you?”

“no, im still here.”

more silence.

keith says, “what is it.”

“i have a small favor to ask of you.”

lance, if you asked him, would say that his interview with shiro went very well. he would say that he had shiro eating out of the palm of his hand. in reality, there was a lot more crying about money and family matters and anxiety for the future, and when shiro offered lance a tissue lance mistakenly grabbed shiro’s tie and blew his nose into it. two weeks later, he was asked to submit a final letter of intent, which he almost didn’t do because he was too embarrassed, then stayed up all night before the deadline because he couldnt not take a shot at it.

the problem with an apprenticeship position was that it was not like a residency staff position, wherein lance could live on campus without being charged a room & board fee, and he could not be both a part of residency staff and an apprentice. (the residency staff made his decision easy by rejecting his application, but still, it was a bummer.) that being said, lance had absolutely no money to stay on campus next year, and he could not commute because he lived four hours away from the school.

keiths apartment, shiro had not failed to notice, was a convenient 32 and a half minutes from the campus.

“you want me to what?” keith asks shiro, paling, staring into his categorized fridge. he knows where everything is. he decides where everything is. he is not sharing his living space with some kid.

“hes not some kid,” says shiro. “hes 20 years old and he needs this. i really want to make this opportunity work for him, but the school wont let him stay with me. please, keith. i think this would be good for both of you.”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“can you honestly tell me that you arent lonely all by yourself?”

“no, im not. im comfortable and in control of my own life. i dont want one of your projects from the projects ruining everything ive worked to get, and i think its bull-headed of you to assume that you know whats best for me, like you always try to do, and i think its rude of you to invite someone to live in my apartment.” 

“he likes mus-”

keith hangs up on shiro mid-word, fumes for a few hours as he gets some work done and eats dinner, then goes to sleep.

the next day, keith feels guilty, sure, but he stands by what he said. shiro would call him in a few days and initiate the apology, and they would both put it behind them without mentioning it again. until then, he would throw himself into his work and pretend that everything was fine.

at 6pm, doris knocks on the side of his cubicle, smiling down on him in all her wrinkly glory. shes 60 going on 80 with graying hair and a cozy southern drawl. “darling, why are you still sitting at that desk? its a friday night. youre young, youre cute, you must have a sweetheart you wanna spend it with, or some friends at least.”

keith smiles politely. “thats alright, doris. id rather work, honestly.”

“you sure, honey? i admire a good worker, but if youre working good for the wrong reasons, thats nothing to be proud of. dont you have a nice girl to go home to?”

keith isnt even going to touch the last part of that statement because he doesnt know doris’s political views and doesnt have the time nor patience for a lecture from her in case her warm hospitality is all a condition of keiths being a Model Young Man. he grimaces and says, “no, i dont. and if i did have someone to go home to, it wouldnt be the start of a night going out on the town, it would be someone to have a relaxing night in with.”

“that sounds nice,” says doris, with a minor suggestion behind it that keith should get his coat and get the hell out of here.

“but id really prefer to work,” insists keith. doris clicks her tongue and tells him to suit himself.

meanwhile, lance is panicking. here he has this amazing opportunity, and no way to make it happen. hunk, allura, and pidge all live on campus, apartments nearby are way too expensive, and nobody on the forums is responding to his roommate pleas. he has made it clear that he will take literally anything, and still, no bites.

“im sorry,” shiro says at the start of their meeting. “i tried to set something up, but it fell through. there are a couple of scholarships you can try applying for, but their awards arent given out until december, so youd have to find a way to make ends meet until then.”

“and i cant be a part time student working,” says lance, “because part time students arent eligible for the internship.”

shiro sighs grimly. “thats right.” for a moment, he does nothing but frown at the wall, and lance has nothing to say so he doesnt interrupt. slowly, without explanation, shiro picks up his desk phone and dials. after a moment of patience, he sets it back down and pinches the bridge of his nose. “i want to figure something out for you, lance. do you have any ideas?”

lance shakes his head, shrugging. “i asked a couple of my friends to get an apartment with me, but two of them are residency staff, and the other one takes too many classes a semester to be able to work enough to afford an apartment.

shiro is about to say something, but the phone rings. he snatches it up. “keith? i thought you were ignoring me. oh. no, thats not it. actually, um, i have him sitting in my office with me. i was hoping you had reconsidered.” there was a very long pause. “i understand that,” says shiro. lance’s organs are all mixed up. his heart is beating in his throat and his stomach is somewhere near his feet. “i understand that,” he says again. “im sorry for what i said. you know i didnt mean it that way. i worry about you, thats all, because im a worrier. im not trying to influence your life at all, i really am just asking for a favor. ive exhausted all my other options. keith, youre all ive got.”

he covers the speaker with his mouth and looks at lance. “are you comfortable talking to him?”

lance balks. “who is it?”

“my brother, keith, the person im trying to get to let you stay with him. he wants to talk to you.”

lance holds his hand out for the phone, and shiro passes it over. lance says, “hello?”

“give me one reason why i should let you stay with me,” says a voice that is not exactly what lance is expecting, but still intimidating. “its not a trick question or a test, but it is pass-fail.”

lance’s mouth is so dry, he isnt sure he’ll be able to speak. “i,” he starts, then decides that he cant, then realizes that he has to. “i dont know what im doing. everyones trying to tell me what i should do, or what i have to do, but your brother--um, professor shirogane--is the only person whos asking me what i want to do. that means a lot to me, and so does the fact that he chose me to be his apprentice. so i want to give this my honest to god best shot to repay him, and because i need to know for myself what im capable of. so, um, sir, if you can give me my foot in the door, i promise i would be grateful for that, and if it doesnt work out, then you can kick me out, and i’ll still be grateful that you gave me the chance. um, thanks for giving me the chance to talk.”

there was a long beat of silence. shiro’s mouth was covered with his hand, so lance couldnt tell if he was smiling, but his eyes were definitely shining.

keith said, “shiro always does make people want to be the best version of themselves. dont tell him i said that. put him back on the line.”

lance shakily handed the phone back. shiro put it to his ear. “keith? uh huh.” he chuckled. “i know.” he closed his eyes, the tension seeping out of his shoulders, and lance couldnt help but feel his hopes soar. “thank you, keith. i promise i’ll pay you back for this, and you wont regret it.” he hangs up. “lance, you have a place to live next year.”

come the end of august, keiths career is running itself. he clears out the storage room in preparation for a temporary guest with the help of shiro, whose job it is not only to set up the room, but to pay lance’s half of the rent if lance should default.

two days after the bed and desk are built, lance mcclain moves in. hes weighed down by bags when keith answers the door, looking boyish and disheveled. “whoa,” he says, and stumbles back, almost loses his balance, then manages to catch himself.

keith prickles. “what?”

lance’s eyes swoop up and down keith a clean once.

“youre shiro’s younger brother,” he says, blinking in surprise. “i didnt expect you to be so... you sounded older and mea-- um, on the phone. i thought i was going to be living with a forty year old dude or something, but you’re. um. hi, im lance mcclain.”

he sticks out his hand, strapped down by bags. keith shakes it.

“keith kogane. your room is down the hall and to the left. the bathroom is the first one on the right. my bedroom is the door at the end of the hall, the one thats always shut.”

lance nods. “right,” he says, sounding choked. “i’ll just put this stuff away then...”

he gets inside his room and calls hunk, freaking out about how the guy he has to live with is a lunatic and might also be a serial killer. how else did one explain his bathroom being so freakishly clean? hunk tells lance to calm down and that its just first-day jitters. everything will feel normal once lance gets the routine down.

but lance does not get the routine down. if keith isnt telling lance not to move the milk in the fridge (lance needed somewhere for his blueberries), then he was shouting through the bathroom door to shut up (lance sang in the shower! big deal!). lance was positive that keith hated him, which, between getting his ass kicked at school and feeling like a burden at the apartment, made for a hellish first month on lance’s part. he and keith never talked to each other, because keith was always leaving for work in the mornings before lance woke up, and lance would get back sometimes at 9pm or later, when keith was already showering and getting ready for bed. on weekends, lance booked it out of there to hang out with hunk and pidge, but keith was usually still awake when lance got back, either reading or watching something on TV.

the best way to describe the tension was frigid. keith didnt acknowledge lance so long as lance kept to himself. and the biggest mistake lance made was to break that tension while keith was home.

of course, lance didnt know at the time. he was pretty sure that keith was out, but too scared to check because the door at the end of the hall was daunting, and lance was pretty sure that keith was the only one who could pass through it without damaging his soul permanently.

lance had assignments, okay? he was a music major. that involved some instruments being played from time to time. usually, he was able to work around keith’s schedule, or quiet enough that he could do it when keith was sleeping, but when he wasnt worried about it, he wasnt worried about it. which led to a high pitched scream from a certain college student as keith banged on his bedroom door.

collecting himself, lance went to open it. “sorry, i-”

“what the hell are you doing?”

lance sighed. “look, keith, im grateful that youre letting me live here, but that means letting me live here. i have assignments, and music relaxes me. so if i can put up with your alphabetical cereal boxes, i think its fair that you let me get some work done.”

“im trying to get my work done.”

“youre not even at work!”

keith pinched the bridge of his nose, a very shiro thing to do. “i dont have a problem with the music,” he said at last. “but we better not get any noise complaints from the neighbors.”

lance saluted him and shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

after that, tension melted a little more every day. lance’s outburst seemed to have triggered a chain reaction wherein keith and lance actually learned how to live with each other. after respectfully asking lance to remember to take his beauty products out of the bathroom when finished with them, he realized that what lance really needed was his own shelf, so he adjusted. when lance left on saturday mornings and saw keith taking his usual post at the coffee table with his stack of files, lance would ask if keith wanted anything from mcdonalds before coming home. slowly, surely, they became roommates.

until one day lance came home and saw keith watching his favorite show. it was a tidal wave of loud that keith had never had to experience before. youre only on the first season okay scoot over can i put my feet up im going to who do you like best so far what do you think of the villain isnt the actor who plays jack so hot-

they both freeze a little, lances face going red. “um,” he said. “its not like im going to be bringing any guys home, so we dont have to-”

“im gay,” keith says bluntly, because it looks like lance is about to have a heart attack. he feels a little like doris in that moment, although he doesnt know why. “yeah, hes hot.”

lance melts into the couch. “that makes that easy then,” he says. “that makes this the gay-partment. actually, we cant call it that, because im bi for real, and gay-partment doesnt sound good anyway, but you get what im-”

“i get it,” says keith, a mercy killing. he presses play with finality.

shiro checks up on keith frequently enough, but he never asks about lance any more than “is everything okay between you guys?” keith suspects that shiro does not want to push, and is waiting for keith to be the person who actually brings it up.

keith doesnt. even when he waits for lance to get home from classes so they can watch an episode together before keith goes to bed (because the last time keith watched it without him lance threw a fit), or when lance’s awful car craps out on him so they have to share for a week while the mechanic handles it, which involves a lot of carpooling and, as lance calls them “jam sessions” where he blares his horrible music and sings along (but isnt actually so bad because sometimes he improvises lines to the songs and he can be funny when he wants to be). 

keith realizes over the six days that lance is gone for thanksgiving break, not even a full week, that the apartment feels too quiet without him, and at the ripe old age of 23, he might have found his first genuine friend.

after thanksgiving, the barrier melts more. keith is cool with lance having friends over as long as he gets a heads up, and lance invites keith to his occasional open mic night performances at BU.

one day, lance comes home and sees keith hunched over some files on the kitchen table, tie loose on his neck, a half-finished bowl of leftover pasta abandoned near him. lance realizes that he has no idea what keiths job is.

“sales,” keith informs him. “i convince people that they need to buy eco-friendly plastic cups in bulk for their business or school.”

“sounds boring.”

“its not.”

“do you supply cups to my school?”

“theyre not one of my clients, no.”

“if you cant sell cups to your own brother’s school, how good of a salesman can you be?”

keith rolls his eyes and--hey, finally--looks up. “im the best in the department,” he says. “because i take my job seriously, lance. as seriously as you take your apprenticeship to shiro, which is the only reason i agreed to let you stay here.”

“wow,” says lance. “thats harsh. all work and no play makes keith revert back to his old angry self, i see.” he leaves. keith sighs, decides he can no longer focus, and packs up his files. he cleans up his wasted dinner and knocks on lance’s door. lance doesnt answer, so keith persists. when hes ignored again, he grits his teeth and says, “oh, real mature.”

he turns to go back to the living room and sees the bathroom door open. lance steps out, shirtless. “who are you talking to?” he asks, shirtless. he scratches the back of his head, shirtless.

“are you hungry?” asks keith. “i was thinking we could order a pizza and watch an episode or two.”

lance considers keith for a moment, shirtless, then rolls his eyes, still shirtless. “if thats the best you can do for apologies, mullet, then you have a lot to learn. i was going to take a shower.” he reaches around keith, shirtless, and pulls a towel off the inside of his bedroom wall. “call and order, i’ll be fast.” before he shuts the bathroom door again, he says, “i don’t are what else is on it as long as there are green peppers.” and then he’s gone, shirtless.

keith wakes up and wonders why he blacked out for a second.

the pizza arrives, and lance gets out of the shower, clothed, and one or two episodes become six or seven, with keith continuously having to pause because lance is talking and getting carried away because hes getting so excited. its thursday and keith has work tomorrow, he knows, and yet hes denying it. his stomach is full of warm pizza and lance has just stopped talking about the way it rained when they filmed this scene, but keith hasnt reached over to his play yet.

“you would be a good salesman,” he tells lance. “youve got the charisma for it.”

“keith, that is literally the meanest thing youve ever said to me. no offense, but to suggest i would spend my life sitting in a cubicle is unforgivable. to each their own, though. when all the little kids in your third grade class were saying, i want to be a firefighter! and, i want to be a princess! what made you snap up your suspenders and say, i want to sell eco-friendly plastic cups!”

“i dont wear suspenders.”

“thats not the question i was asking.”

keith shrugs. hes laying down more than hes sitting up, which as a rule, is frowned upon when using couches in this apartment. lance has been a bad influence in this regard. “its practical.”

“did you have to take business classes and everything?”

“i took them, yeah.”

lance throws his head back and groans, pokes keith’s thigh teasingly with his big toe. “man, i cant imagine going to school to actually learn a useful life skill. whats job security like?”

staring up at the ceiling, keith is unsettled to find that he knows the answer. “boring.”

lance sits up. “huh?”

“its too easy,” says keith. “every day, its just selling cups. a moron could do it. and my boss doris is a peach, but this morning she stood at karen’s cubicle across from mine for a straight hour talking about plants.”

“plants are so practical,” says lance. “you have a house plant in the corner.” he points at herman.

“his name is herman.”

lance’s eyes blow wide. “dude! no way! you named your plant! i didnt think you were the type!”

“ive never said his name out loud with another person in the room before.”

lance covers his face with both hands and wheezes. “you talk to herman when no one else is in the room.”

lance does not say that he had been calling herman shelby.

“theres a smaller one on my desk at the office named sherman,” says keith.

“not judging, dude, but why would you give so much of yourself to this job if it isnt what you want to do?”

keith shrugs again. “its practical.”

“im a music major and i dont buy that shit. why dont you do what you love? like, how does the time that you spend not doing whatever it is you love not a giant waste?”

“because...” keith feels like a robot. “its practical.”

“if practicality didnt matter, what would you do?”

keith considers lance, considers himself. he finds the answer but decides that its too scary right now. 

“i’d sell cups on the moon.”

lance busts a gut. the seriousness of the topic derailed, keith presses play, and they go back to watching the episode. lance doesnt interrupt for the remainder of the episode, and when keith looks over, he realizes its because lance has fallen asleep. with his legs spread over keith’s lap. when had they gotten there? keith couldnt move now. he had work in the morning.

he was also already in his pajamas. and the sofa was warm enough, and the heating was on in preparation for winter. and keith was already up later than he normally stayed awake...

he woke up with sunlight streaming peacefully on his eyelids. that was usually a luxury saved for the weekends. SUNLIGHT? keith’s eyes popped open, and he remembered all at once talking with lance, falling asleep, lance. last night had been a lance-heavy night. his toes were underneath keith’s shirt, his face smushed into the cushions.

keith clawed his phone out of his pocket as he extracted himself from the couch, from lance. 9:08. shit shit shit shit. 2 missed calls from doris. he ran into his room, where his alarm clock had been screaming for two and a half hours now, and threw on a dress shirt, pants, and shoes, then he rocketed out the door, his phone already pressed to his ear. hi doris sorry sorry sorry i overslept im leaving now i’ll be right here this wont happen again.

his coworkers dont let him live it down. all day its, how ya doing, keith? hows that perfect punctuality youre always harping about? crazy hook up with your take-home pile, was it? doris is the only one who is understanding, and, luckily, her opinion of the situation is all that matters.

“whatever kept you,” she says, “i hope you had fun.”

keith is exhausted by the time he gets home. he unknots his tie on the way to his room, and as he passes lance’s door, he hears the soft tones of music from inside. he pauses. knocks. lance calls, “come in.”

keith pokes his head inside. theres lance, several instruments sprawled across his floor, and him in the center of them, a ukulele in his hands. keith smiles. “sounds good,” he says.

lance gives him a sympathetic eyebrow raise. “you look like shit.”

“thanks.”

“come sit down.”

grateful for the invitation, keith obeys, unraveling his tie all the way. he likes that lance doesnt make him say anything. he goes back to playing music, singing, a soft song that has keiths eyelids fluttering shut and his shoulders relaxing before they can help it.

the next week, lance’s semester ends. he heads home to swap the old year for a new model, see his family, catch up with neighborhood friends. theres the weirdest disconnect he gets where he turns to make a comment to someone, expecting them to be someone else, and gets frustrated.

keith, meanwhile, has resorted to calling shiro at night to somehow break this god awful silence. they get together on christmas, which helps. hes ready to spend new years alone with the LGBT section of Netflix when, at 10:14 PM, his phone rings in a way it doesnt usually. He presses accept, and suddenly Lance is grinning at him in a room full of shouting Cubans.

“Keith! My man! How’s it hanging! No, shut up Marcia, I’m busy. Hey, what’s up!”

Keith is a little bewildered. “Um. Hey.”

“hold on, its super loud in here. let me get to my room so i can actually hear you.”

“why did you call?” asks keith.

lance gives him a look as he enters a much more quiet space. “because my spidey senses told me that you were sitting alone on your couch like a loser right now.”

keith frowns down at his comfortable pajamas. “i am not a loser.”

“of course not,” lance agrees. “thats thanks to me, by the way, and my amazing ability to be in two places at once, thanks to facetime.”

“hows home?” keith asks, aware that suddenly they were chatting, and that the frown he’d been carrying around for days had magically lifted itself off his face. lance is as excitable as ever, even when hes miles and miles away, and keith wonders at the idea of all this distance theyve lived with between them suddenly closed. its an interesting thought.

he doesnt realize how long lance has kept him talking until 11:59, when lance brings his attention to the countdown clock. the inside of keith’s chest feels warm and calm knowing that lance didnt want keith to be alone on new years, and that he cared enough to sit in his room for two hours talking at a screen, and that he was choosing to spend the passover to midnight with keith.

at midnight, keith clinks a glass of champagne against his phone, as does lance, and they drink together. then, lance sombers.

“hey, um. i wanted to thank you for everything you did for me last semester,” says lance. “im still trying to put things together for the spring, but if you want, i could let you know how it goes. i mean, i dont want to stop talking to you, or knowing you.”

keith is utterly lost. “what are you talking about?”

now lance looks confused. “the end of the semester,” he says.

“what about it?”

“my apprenticeship.”

Apprenticeships only lasted a semester!

keith actually slapped his forehead. “lance!” he said, sitting up and clutching his burning phone tighter. He’d had to plug it in an hour ago. “why didn’t you remind me? are you trying to tell me you left? that you literally left to go back home without saying goodbye?”

“you didnt say goodbye!” lance defends, voice getting shrill. “i thought you werent the type!”

“i thought you werent leaving! or, i mean, i thought you were coming back right after!”

“I literally packed out my whole room, keith.”

“people need things when they go home.”

lance shook his head, dumbfounded. “i cant believe we’re having this conversation. what are you going to do without me? yes, keith, im back home and scouring the forums for a new roommate next semester. im trying to have a bonding moment where i thank you for everything youve done for me, but youre ruining it by being an idiot.”

“damn it, lance. you dont have to move out. youre more than welcome to keep living here. lance? did you freeze?”

“what? no. i just. i kind of thought you hated me.”

hate? the literal opposite. keith had to fight not to be sarcastic. “i dont hate you. i want you to stay here. not as a favor, but because this place feels weird without you here now. its as much yours as it is mine. we can put you on the lease if you want.”

“keith, that is the grossest, most adult thing youve ever said to me. of course i will legally sign a binding contract with my name next to yours.”

did lance just... keith’s smaller face went red next to lance’s bigger face. keith sat up a little straighter. “um, cool. cool. when you get back, then. so, you are coming back?”

“yes,” said lance. “and thank god it means i dont have to live with smelly jeremy and his flea-ridden dogs. just your flea-ridden mullet.”

keith narrowed his eyes and hung up.

he got a text from lance saying, see yr flea-tastic self on january 25th, then marked the day down in his phone. afterward, he opened the door to lance’s room, which was indeed empty. keith’s heart went a little spastic at the thought that january 25th could have come and gone, and he would have had no idea that lance had not been planning to return. he called shiro and berated him for not talking about the apprenticeship more often, so keith would have been prepared.

lance comes back and brings the sun with him. keith, who has been this close to quitting his job every time he walks into work, could not be happier. they move lance’s things in together, which involves a lot of stopping and making fun of lance’s possessions on keith’s part. lance grins and goes for the mullet, and somehow they end up wrestling on the floor.

keith thinks, i cant not kiss him.

and then his phone vibrates against his leg. he remembers that lance is living here because he has nowhere else to go, and that putting him in this position if he doesnt feel the same way about keith is a horrible thing to do. he untangles himself, guilty.

“where are you going?” demands lance. “i was winning!”

“its doris,” says keith. “gotta take it.”

speaking of doris, she notices. at 6pm the next day, she stops by keiths cubicle. “been a while since we last met here, sugarcake. trouble at home?”

theres no one else in the office, and keith is close to a meltdown. he swivels to face doris, hangs his head, and says, “i think im in love with my roommate lance.”

her face doesnt betray an ounce of shock, but rather, shes giving him the same look shiro used to when keith would talk about nightmares. keiths heart shatters from being touched by kindness. he doesnt leave the office for another hour, not because he was working, but because that night doris lets him tell her everything.

lance is still in class when keith gets home, eats, showers, and gets ready for bed. he almost doesnt know what to do with himself now that theres a whole other conscious entity living in this house--his fucking emotions. he has his hair pulled back, his pajamas on, and hes just getting ready to call it a night when the front door opens and lance tosses his bag in its usual spot under the window.

“hey,” he says, surprised to see keith up. “dont want to miss the early bird special tomorrow. what’re you doing up?”

“can we play?” asks keith.

lance is clearly doubly surprised, but he guides keith into his room. its as blissfully messy as it was before lance left for break. “you said we. do you play?”

keith picks up a lap-sized keyboard. “i used to.”

“i didnt know that. why didnt you say?”

“because you wouldve asked me to play with you.”

“thats true.” lance picks his ukulele, and they start to improvise together, each learning how the other plays, adjusting. “you werent kidding, you really play.”

“i wasnt kidding,” says keith.

suddenly, lance stops. “hey, is everything alright? youre acting weird. dont tell me youre regretting asking me to move back in.”

“no,” keith says immediately. “no, im just wondering if maybe... are you happy here? or is this just a roommate situation?”

“what do you mean, is this just a roommate situation?”

“you know what i mean.”

“no,” says lance. “i dont.”

“i mean,” says keith, “do you actually like living here, or do you live here because im your only option?”

lance sets down his ukulele. “i like living here because the bathroom tiles are cold when i get out of the shower so i hop to the rug by the door and pray to god i dont slip and break my neck. and because the sunset turns the kitchen wall purple while i make pasta. and because im the only one who can put my feet up on the coffee table. and because the cereal is arranged in alphabetical order and the plant’s name is herman. i like living here. here feels like home.”

keith kisses him. he stands up and backs away just as quickly, guilty, unable to believe he had just crossed the line like that. god, he’s going to have to tell doris about this. she would rip his head off so politely.

“what the fuck?” says lance, blunt and surprised. keith winces, about to apologize, when suddenly he’s being crowded up against the wall of his storage room, of lance’s bedroom, and kissed like his lips leaked chocolate. he melts. lance snakes one hand behind keith’s neck and the other around his waist, and keith tugs lance closer by the hips. the hand at keith’s neck digs into his hair and pulls out the hair tie. the hair tie disappears. keith pulls lance closer. 

lance pulls back. “finally.”

“you had the option to make the first move, you know.”

“nah, not me, i’m a coward.”

“yeah, right.”

they kissed again, with keith holding tighter and lance staying longer. keith thinks, doris isnt going to believe this one.

that night, the taboo on keith’s bedroom door breaks when keith invites lance to sleep on a queen sized mattress. it takes lance a full five minutes to stop laughing at the clear cowboy paraphernalia keith inherited growing up in texas, but he doesnt mind curling up to sleep by the potted cactus on the nightstand, whose name he politely asks for.

keith stops killing himself working to sell eco-friendly plastic cups, and with all his spare time, he and lance start writing songs together. shiro, in a display of good sportsmanship, never points out that he was right.

[samraclaus]

Do em all boredom sucks

Thank u lets get personal: send me a number 
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? - Bloom by the paper kites, somebody else by the 1975, beautiful sea from sing street, amnesia by 5sos, tarot by alt-j, and coming up roses from begin again 
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - either lily Collins, calum hood or Ezra Miller
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. - “…men have integrated feminist values into their lives, whether or not they use the label, and this is also an important barometer of the impact of feminism."
4: What do you think about most? - certain people in my life or sometimes death tbh 
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?- "me too omg” from Nichole 
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? - with 
7: What’s your strangest talent? - I can imitate people and characters really well but they’re always weird voices 
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) - girls are beautiful. Boys are confusing but also beautiful. 
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? - no :/
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? - literally like an hour ago I do it so often lmao 
11: Do you have any strange phobias? - uhhhh I’m afraid of everything 
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - the only thing that’s been in my nose is a really long qtip at the doctor and never again no thanks that’s scary 
13: What’s your religion? - Islam (not religious tho)
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? - probably taking a walk or going to the park 
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind but good candids are the best 
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? - either sir sly 
17: What was the last lie you told? - that I was okay and not to worry lmao 
18: Do you believe in karma? - kinda yeah 
19: What does your URL mean? - my name is samra but it gets autocorrected to Santa so it became a meme in my friend group 
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? - weakness: I guess my anxiety. Strength: staying positive outwardly 
21: Who is your celebrity crush? - Ezra Miller and calum hood 💕😭
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? - no
23: How do you vent your anger? - I either punch things or just yell at everyone 
24: Do you have a collection of anything? - a small collection of mugs!
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - hmm both are kinda stressful but I’d probably like video chatting more 
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? - not at all 
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? - I hate the sound of people chewing. I love the sound of hairdryers and vacuums. They make me sleepy 
28: What’s your biggest “what if”? - what if I died? Or. What if I actually told people how I feel?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - yes to both!!! - 
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. - right arm: basket. Left: pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell? - nothing really tbh 
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? - louder than life 
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? - east!
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? - Calum lmao 
35: To you, what is the meaning of life? - making the most of the time you have even if you mess up along the way. But for a depressing version: you live and then you die. That’s it
36: Define Art. - anything that you make that represents something and you think is beautiful 
37: Do you believe in luck? - kinda
38: What’s the weather like right now? - warm 
39: What time is it? - 11:39 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? - not yet 
41: What was the last book you read? - cellist of Sarajevo 
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? - love it
43: Do you have any nicknames? - my dad calls me samronis and some people call me sam 
44: What was the last film you saw? - uhhhh I think holes (what a night lmao) 
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? - I broke my arm on my scooter 
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? - no, I used to think they were kinda scary. I don’t now but still no 
47: Do you have any obsessions right now? - flowers probably 
48: What’s your sexual orientation? - bisexual 
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? - I think once in middle school, it was really dumb, someone just said that I said something mean about my friend 
50: Do you believe in magic? - not really 
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? - sometimes, but I usually just let it go cause I feel bad lol 
52: What is your astrological sign? - taurus 
53: Do you save money or spend it? - usually spend :/ 
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?- sour patch kids 
55: Love or lust? - either but love is better 
56: In a relationship? - not right now 
57: How many relationships have you had? - only a couple 
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - no :/
59: Where were you yesterday? - moving back and forth from my old house to my new house
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? - literally my entire room lmao 
61: Are you wearing socks right now? - always 
62: What’s your favourite animal? - guineas 🐹
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? - I actually don’t have one, I just live my life 
64: Where is your best friend? - I have no idea tbh but probably at home 
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. - imsograntired (my sister), blushedaesthetic (erin), granterin (other erin), and basically all of my friends tbh 
66: What is your heritage? - Turkish??
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? - taking a shower and texting sam 
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? - trump 
69: Biggest turn ons? - personality: humor, sarcasm, if you're a good person, cocky but not too much ya know. Physically: tall, nice hands(hands are so important wow 👀)
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? - eh I guess, I try my best to be a good friend 
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? - SAVE THE DOG WTF ILL LIVE ON THE STREETS WITH HIM 
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? - id probably tell people but make sure they don’t freak out too much and have them so funny things with me b) What do you do with your remaining days? Id do things with my family and friends all day every day and travel a bit if I can. Id tell people what I’ve always wanted to tell them without being scared. c) Would you be afraid? - I’m afraid of what happens after death, if it’s simply nothing, that’s what scares me. It’s impossible for someone to think of what it’s like to be absolutely nothing. I won’t even know I’m nothing because I’ll just be gone. But a big fear is how upset my family would be. I would hate to hurt them like that 
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. - love 
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? - a beautiful sea from sing street 
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? - 9203
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? - trust, compatibility, not taking everything seriously 
77: How can I win your heart? - be there for me, give me space if I ask for it, talk to me all the time tbh and watch movies with me 
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?- probably 
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? - i haven’t made many good ones so I honestly can’t think of any rn 
80: What size shoes do you wear? - 8-9
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? - “life is hard when you’re an idiot"
82: What is your favourite word? - UGH I LITERALLY TOLD SULTANA MY FAVORITE WORD YESTERDAY AND I CANT REMEMBER NOW
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. - love 
84: What is a saying you say a lot? - what do I even say ever these are so hard 
85: What’s the last song you listened to? - a.m. By 1D 
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? - dark green and pastel pink
87: What is your current desktop picture? - a picture of me and my friends 
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? - Donald trump 
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - "do you like ___” I’m weird with this question because even when I do like someone a lot, I just get really scared and end up lying and I hate that about myself. I need to be pushed 
90: Turn offs? - not caring about my problems, ignoring me
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? - reading minds or flying 
92: where are your parents from? - Bosnia! 
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - while my aunt was in the hospital 
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? - definitely calum 
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? - Italy!!
96: Do you have any relatives in jail? - not that I know of 
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? - yes, and right on my sister too. I had too much mayonnaise :/
98: Ever been on a plane? - yes ugh I hate planes 
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say - i would be too stressed to talk to the whole world so I have no idea

[damescapades-parttwo]

#1

It's been a little over a week, and I don't miss ice as much as I thought I would. It only took four trips out of the country for longer periods of time for this acceptance to take root. How have you bettered yourself this year?

This blogging adventure will be a bit different than the past as WordPress has decided to turn my beautiful blog into a horrible modge-podge of broken photo links. I'm currently debating on trying to switch all of my photos to tumblr, but also... that's a lot of work! If you're new to my blog, go check out the past writing! (and whatever photos are left.) I arrived on April Fool's Day to Sweden with, potentially, the best long haul flight experience of my life. A few glasses of wine and a forensic scientist to chat with while drinking said wine, followed by a entire row of airplane seats to myself, a sweet, new Norwegian airplane, and a completely edible in-flight breakfast maybe set the mood. While here, I'll be working within the Center for the Future of Places at KTH Royal Institute of Technology on the beginnings of my thesis for concurrent Master of Landscape Architecture and Master of Urban Design & Planning degrees I'm set to complete this December. (almost eight years of post secondary education coming to culmination is exciting and unnerving.) I'm super psyched to be here and working around/with the talented researchers, PhD students, and professors at KTH and specifically within the CFP! EVERYONE wants to know what I'm researching and writing about... as do I. :) Psych, I kinda know. I’m exploring the concept of multifunctionality in relation to public space planning and design; specifically, how can public space be planned and designed with both the environment and social aspects as imperative? What can be learned from Stockholm’s historical approach to planning/designing its park system, but also is the future better addressing this discourse? Multifunctionality, in this sense, is alluded to with a sustainable design model of planning and development, but still, is not prioritized over economic aspects of public space. Spaces that have been deemed multifunctional (environmentally and socially) have not been as successful. I plan to analyze (hopefully two!) at least one project current project, the Royal Seaport. I am also looking at a few of the older developments, such as Hammarby Sjőstad. Hopefully, by analyzing Stockholm as a case study to the concept of embedding multifunctionality within the planning and design processes, more research can be established to further the sustainability and resilience (buzzwords, I know,) of urban spaces.

I have a feeling this will continually morph while I am here in Stockholm as I meet and speak with more and more people at KTH and across the city. I also have a whole proposal and powerpoint if you want to see either :) My first 10 days have been pretty uneventful for me personally, while the city of Stockholm has been affected by an act of terrorism. For those of you who do not follow the news, a beer truck was hijacked while unloading on Drottninggatan, one of the most populated and central shopping streets in the city, killing and injuring many before crashing into Åhléns, a large department store, adjacent to T-Centraalen (central station.) The incident happened Friday around 3pm, and completely shut down all public transportation for five or six (?) hours. It was quite shocking, as Stockholm is known for being very safe and welcoming. I unexpectedly walked by the memorials at Sergels Torg/Åhléns on Sunday while roaming; it was uplifting to see how many people seemed to be coming from all over via the tunnelbana with flowers to be placed on the steps and on police vehicles. I have one (lousy) photo; I didn’t feel very comfortable taking any (even though *everyone* was,) combined with the fact that there was a huge mass of people wanting to pay their respects.

On my end, I have walked quite a bit - my phone is telling me I’m hitting ~12,000 steps a day. I was taking the tunnelbana more the first few days, but the sunshine is so nice!!!! (Seattle-deprived ftw.) Safe to say jaywalking is a thing here, and pedestrians are truly put first. I’m usually a walker, but I have been much more aimless this time around as time is rarely an issue. Perhaps that is a highlight of my past week: I have not had this much free time, mostly light on the obligations, to enjoy a city like this; since, well, pretty much forever, I have stayed busy with LOTS of obligations. I’m enjoying walking around, mostly to different parks, and people watching, a favorite hobby of mine. I’ve made it my mission to explore one new park (sometimes public space, but not as imperative,) a day, and I’ve definitely experienced at least one a day thus far. (more on that below!)

For entertainment, most of you might have already heard via Facebook, but I have had the privilege of attending my first yoga class… taught in Swedish. It was a true wtf the moment as the class started and the instructor started moving and then speaking in Swedish; by that point, it was too late to run out, and, honestly, I think my brain was a little slow on the uptake that I would not be able to follow the movements without looking up constantly. I struggled, but am now signed up for (at least) weekly English yoga classes.

I haven’t had any grand stories at the supermarket either (which in the past has been a common occurrence.) I’ve stuck to whole foods, not processed or really any junk food. There are many supermarkets to choose from nearby where I am staying, of which are on the smaller side (normal.) This makes it easier when choosing items; I have less options to stare at for long periods of time trying to find English on the labels at all, consequently attempting to decipher Swedish (failing) all the while converting the price in my head to USD until giving up to go with a choice based on little real objectivity. It’s fun; I’ll keep you updated with more riveting stories.

Lastly, for another anecdote, I really enjoy running in parks: mostly because I love using running as a way to experience cities, but also because I really love croissants. I happen to be staying very close to a part of the Royal National City Park (above this post).

This is what I believe every city in the world must have: a park system! Of course, Stockholm has the first! (and largest? unclear thus far.) It’s on my list to bike it before I depart, but more about the system later. Anyways, running here is a DREAM. It’s the first time since living in Colorado, even compared to running to and along Santa Monica’s beach, that I have felt a weight lifted off my shoulders upon entering for a run. While living in south central Colorado, I could easily run at the base of mountains in the cleanest air imaginable. (The altitude was was also higher than anywhere else I have lived, and I was, therefore, in the best shape of my life.) Finding out part of the National City Park was so close was incredible! Not only that, but while running, I ended up starting in the middle, which caused me to immediately stop and just take a 360 degree turn to see the vastness I would be running through.

I don’t know how else to describe it other than

“****, this is awesome; I cannot believe I’m in Stockholm still //

just looking at any corner to run to makes me feel out of shape //

I should not have started in the middle //

Google lied or this was not to scale on the map //

OMG USABLE PUBLIC SPACE.”

It’s not like Central Park, with a mix of specifically-designed programming/space typologies, even though there are pockets of trees, playgrounds, etc along the borders; the small piece of this giant park system I am speaking to is a enormous open space covered in a combination of formal paths, informal paths, and grass. I’ve only ran a few times in the last week, but I guessing I will continue solely so I can run all of the paths! I’m also not a runner with my phone, so no photos yet. Can’t wait to talk about this so much no one reads my blog...

Shout out to the ScanDesign Foundation and Valle Scholarship for granting me this opportunity! I'm extremely grateful to work at KTH and truly immerse myself into life in Stockholm!

I hope to write more about a background on Stockholm, as I acquire more knowledge. If you have any questions or suggestions on places to check out, do let me know!

xx