#HONESTLY KUDOS TO YOU GUYS WHO PUT UP WITH MY EXTREMELY SLOW UPDATES ILYALL

[gastricpierrot]

Title: When Stars Align

Series: Daiya no Ace

Pairing: KuraRyou

Rating: T

Summary: Nothing good ever comes out of an intimate relationship between a human and a youkai, Ryousuke knows. He’s heard more than enough stories on betrayal, on disasters, on families being shunned. And being an onmyouji, he knows better than anyone else.

And yet, he lets himself fall.

Warning: i probably undermined the confrontation scene a bit but i?? tried??? _(:D

Also on AO3

[Ch.1][Ch.2][Ch.3][Ch. 4]

[Ch.5]

It’s like plunging face first into a pool of hot water.  

Ryousuke fights to breathe past the instant realization that she knows, she knows, she knows. Because even if she does if he can resist it won’t matter. He digs his fingernails into his palms, letting the sting keep him grounded. He can do this. There’s no other choice but to do this.

They kneel and bow before the minister present in place of the Emperor, going through some processes of formality before proceeding with their preparations. Ryousuke takes his position at the circle of onmyouji, resisting the earnest urge to punch himself in the chest to slow the beating of his heart and dislodge the lump in his throat. He mustn’t be this anxious, mustn’t let himself slip.

He keeps his gaze trained towards the floor as Tamamo no Mae is led to the centre of their circle, not wanting to risk any further contact with her because just being there is extremely risky as it is. He mentally blocks out the sound of her silky voice, the scent of her perfume, the weight of her currently suppressed aura that only he can perceive. It’s fine; confrontation isn’t the main purpose of this ceremony, even if it’s best if they’re able to somehow get rid of her in the process. Mostly everyone involved who’s from the Bureau are already certain that she’s the Nine-tailed Fox; the only thing they have to do now is to expose her true nature to the royal court that remains in denial. For now, all Ryousuke has to do is keep his calm and not mess up.

There’s a moment of tense silence once everyone’s ready, broken only by the knock of Abe no Yasunari’s tools to signify the beginning of the spell. Ryousuke clasps his hands together, pressing hard at where his fingertips meet as he recites the chant he’s long memorized but never found the need to use until then. He feels his stomach churn, and he takes a deep, careful breath. It’ll just take thirty minutes if it’s successful; he just has to pull through the next half hour.

“Boy.”

And there it is—the fox seeking her kind. Ryousuke decides to ignore her despite knowing he’s leaving his mind vulnerable; he can’t spare the focus to drive her out at the moment. She can dig up whatever fears or memories or even try waking it that’s already stirring to her presence, but Ryousuke can’t falter or else everyone else’s efforts will be for naught. He came all the way here fully prepared to be singled out; she won’t catch him off guard so easily.

“No need to be shy, I know you can hear me,” the fox continues, an icy undertone to her voice despite her friendly words. “Why don’t we have a quick chat? It’d be a moment before this whole thing is over and I’m getting rather bored.”

Ryousuke wills his thoughts to remain blank, only keeping the visualisation of the spell’s words clear. He senses her trying to interfere, trying to force him to acknowledge her.

“Ah, poor thing,” she speaks after a foreboding minute of silence, tone dripping with sympathy that sounded almost genuine, “Your parents left you as well, didn’t they? I understand, it was the same for me, too. I suppose it’s simply the fate of foxes born to humans to be abandoned—but worry not, I can assure you that the rest of our kind are much more accepting. So what do you say? Help me escape and I can make your life much easier. You won’t have to try so hard to hide your true nature anymore, and there’ll no longer be the need to work yourself to the bone every day. Oh, and you can bring your precious little brother along, if you wish!”

To tell the truth, Ryousuke stopped registering her words after she mentioned helping her escape. So she’s worried about the position she’s in despite her calm exterior—as she should because really, it’s her alone against a group of the best onmyouji in the country. Even if she’s to fight, she would no doubt sustain some degree of injury before she’d be able to make an escape. Just this purifying ritual  would weaken her significantly if successful.

But honestly, does she really think she can sway him with those pathetic suggestions? Either the records are wrong, or she’s really underestimating him.

“Ryousuke, don’t you think it’s rude to ignore the person talking to you face to face?”

Ryousuke nearly bites his tongue. That cursed kitsune—using his mother’s voice like that. He feels her smugness in  successfully finding the chink in his mental armour, feels her digging even deeper faster than he can consider how to react.

“I do wonder why you’re still willing to put up with everything up until now,” Tamamo no Mae speaks in the perfect imitation of Ryousuke’s mother. He’s sure that if he opens his eyes right then, he would see her sitting there before him in the flesh; her hair tucked behind her ear on one side, her smile almost a mirror of his own. The lady who gave birth to him, the lady whom his father took away along with Haruichi once after he almost harmed them due to his own incompetence. “Mother’s so, so sorry for what we did—you must be so tired after working so hard, dear. I promise we’ll make things return to how they were again, so why don’t you come with me?”

I don’t need you.

It’s a reflex thought, one he’s so deeply ingrained into himself that he doesn’t even realize his slip until it’s too late. Ryousuke inhales sharply, nearly missing a word and falling behind the incantation. He can’t decide who he wants to punch more; the wretched Fox, or himself for still being unconsciously hung up over something he’s so damned sure he’s gotten over long ago.

“Of course you do, silly. Every child needs their mother.”

And I need you to shut up and let me concentrate.

Might as well tell her to shove off now; Ryousuke figures he has nothing left to lose. He would’ve appreciated it if she could respect his wishes like a decent person, though, which she of course, insists on not being.

“You’ve always been like that, haven’t you? Putting on a strong front to hide how you really feel,” Tamamo no Mae coos sympathetically. Ryousuke could almost feel her hand caressing his cheek, touch devoid of any warmth. “Isn’t it exhausting to keep so many secrets at once? Don’t you think it’ll be much easier if you could just disappear?”

It’d be much easier for me if you’re the one who disappears, to be frank.

“I can show them too, you know.” The fox’s tone takes a sudden malicious change, seemingly growing steadily annoyed by Ryousuke’s retorts. She’s running out of time and she knows it. “You may be able to expose me with this ritual, but I can also show them what you really are, boy. Do you really want to be seen as a monster fit to be hunted down again?”

Ryousuke doesn’t answer to that, physically falling silent along with the others and leaving only Abe no Yasunari’s voice ring clear throughout the hall. Even with his eyes kept closed, he could perceive the harsh light coming from the centre of their circle. They’ve completed the first portion of the spell, that is inviting the gods to join them. The rest would be up to Abe no Yasunari; he’ll be the only one who can hear their voices and complete the ritual. The role of the other onmyouji now is to control and maintain the spiritual wavelength in the room so no one accidentally gets vaporized by the gods’ aura.

Ryousuke senses two—no, three divine entities present with them. His scalp tingles from the cluster of power radiating before him, but there’s also a certain calmness in the air that came with their arrival. The burn in Ryousuke’s gut slowly subsides, almost as if it’s intimidated back into submission.

He nearly breathes a sigh of relief. As much as he hates to admit, a tremor’s beginning to manifest in his hands from the strain of enduring so many sensations at once. He isn’t sure how much longer he would’ve been able to keep up his composure had the gods not indirectly given him that subtle boost.

“If you may, Tamamo no Mae-sama.”

The rustling of clothes follows Abe no Yasunari’s directive, as well as a blast of hostility so concentrated towards Ryousuke that it almost feels like he just got impaled through his temples.

“Traitor,” the fox hisses into his mind as if he ever saw her as kin in the first place, every word she says piercing into his consciousness like stakes. “You think you’re doing yourself any favours by going against me? You think you can suppress a fox’s power forever? You’re nothing but a fool.”

Ryousuke bites his lip; just a little more, just a little more. Just a little more until the moment of truth.

“And you think I’d let you off so easily after all I did to be nice? Mark my words, foolish onmyouji, that from now on you’ll—“

Her threat is cut off by a growl—her own when the spell reacts to her malevolence and, Ryousuke hopes, rebounds as some sort of damage on her being. Ryousuke simultaneously feels heat against his face, the gods vanish; and hears panic erupting from all around him. When he finally opens his eyes, Tamamo no Mae is no longer the beautiful young lady he saw earlier, in her place a fox as tall as an average adult human with golden fur and nine tails unfurling behind her back. Her teeth bared in a bloodthirsty snarl, her breathing slightly laboured.

Ryousuke isn’t spared from being awestruck by the Fox’s true form; time seems to in fact slow for a short moment after the revelation. The Nine-tailed Fox is almost on par with a god in her own right, and her regal appearance and aura only serves to bolster that. If she hadn’t been an enemy, Ryousuke couldn’t help thinking he might’ve one day come to admire her.

Then just as the moment passes and the onmyouji move to face her, she lets out a single ear-splitting yowl, and strikes out with her tails, catching everyone off guard with the sheer force of it. And in that few seconds of distraction, she lunges towards Ryousuke’s direction.

Ryousuke tenses for a second too long, his spell right at the point of release when she passes right through him and flees out the window behind him.

In that brief moment of contact, deep in the recesses of his mind, Ryousuke hears the sound of a nail being hammered down.

“Ryousuke!”

And the last thing he hears before the world goes black was the order to hunt down the Fox.

xXx

For a second, Youichi’s vision goes blank.

It’s the sensations that led up to it that worries him more, though. The thin thread of a link between Ryousuke’s mind and his own seemed to have strengthened dramatically at one point, so much so that it almost feels as if they’ve formed a literal emotional bond. Ryousuke’s stress and tension flooded to him full force without warning; pride was pretty much the only thing that kept Youichi from curling into a ball and do nothing but try to breathe until it’s all over.

And then there’s fear, annoyance, and something quite different that Youichi can’t pinpoint. It wasn’t as much of an emotion than it is a sort of…presence. It wasn’t the Fox, Youichi could tell that much due to the faintness of it. It was more like there’s something else inside Ryousuke’s mind, something right on the brink of waking from a deep slumber.

Youichi starts at the sudden realization. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s not impossible so what if...? It would explain his inhumanly powerful spiritual energy, to the very least. No pure-blooded human has ever been born with that sort of power for a long time; their bodies and souls have eventually became unable to produce that level of energy as the bond between humans and nature weakened over time. Youichi doesn’t know—and doesn’t think he’ll ever know, for that matter—how it came about, but Ryousuke must be, in some way, part youkai.

…Whoa.

Youichi has to sit back for a moment to let it sink in. Even though there’s never a short of conspiracy theories surrounding Ryousuke from the guys in the mountain, it’s still pretty wild. Youichi wonders if that’s partly the reason why he’s so unnerved about facing the kitsune. Maybe there’s something about her that gives her a sort of upper hand over him? He doesn’t know. It’s probably also not his place to know.

If anything, he should be concerned over Ryousuke’s current wellbeing rather than the truth of what he is. That sudden blackout was frankly bad news; it meant Ryousuke’s fallen unconscious for some reason. There are only so many possibilities since he’s supposed to be in the middle of work, and Youichi doesn’t like even one of them. Is he getting help from the other side? Can he… can he even still be helped?

“Ryou-san...?” Youichi reluctantly taps into the link that’s surprisingly still there. He half expects silence, half expects Ryousuke’s voice to pop up out of nowhere and casually toss him a snarky remark because he thinks he’s definitely capable of surprising him like that. “Ryou-san, hey, you there?”

Only this time it’s silence; an uneasy silence that does nothing but make Youichi’s unease worse as it stretches on by the second.

As much as Haruichi would want him to, as much as he himself genuinely thinks that maybe he should go check up on him or something, Youichi can’t leave. He can’t risk leaving the place defenceless because who knows what the heck happened in the Capital city? For all he knows, hordes of youkai might already be starting to run rampant across the country and he’d soon be so busy that he’d barely have the chance to catch his breath. Besides, Ryousuke entrusted the task of protecting his hometown to him; he’d definitely want him to prioritize that over his own safety. Youichi’s concern wouldn’t be appreciated where Ryousuke is.

He knows Ryousuke’s alive, at the very least. As long as he can still access their link, he’ll know that he’s alive. He repeats it to himself, clings on to it as his one reason to stay.

Yet it’s strange how less and less comfort that gradually brings him.

xXx

Haruichi knew something isn’t right when Ryousuke doesn’t return within the usual timespan.

The letter is painfully vague, disclosing nothing but the fact that the kitsune might’ve done something to his brother during her escape and that the Bureau is keeping him in the Capital for supervision a little longer. Haruichi could only imagine the worst. What if that’s just a pretence and they’re actually holding him there because the truth’s been revealed and they just haven’t decided what to do with him? What if facing the Fox had permanently damaged Ryousuke in some way or another? Haruichi watched his only family leave fearing the worst, and now that he’s staring right at it he feels a whole new sense of uselessness weigh down on his shoulders. Why can’t he ever do anything at times like this?

Haruichi takes a deep breath, balling his fists. This isn’t the time to wallow in self-hate. Think; there must be something even he’s capable of while he waits. If only he could figure out what’s going on in Ryousuke’s side now—he could perhaps prepare something that could be of help to him when he returns, something that perhaps he as one of the only few people who are fully aware of his circumstances can do.

There’s an old couple praying at Youichi’s shrine when Haruichi seeks him out. Not wanting to disturb them, he keeps himself out of sight and waits for them to leave, only emerging from his spot once their footsteps have faded into the distance. As he approaches, he offers a slight wave to Youichi, who, looks to have been expecting him.

“Good afternoon, Youichi-sama,” Haruichi greets, stopping a respectable distance from the tengu. Youichi nods, his efforts to keep the troubled look off his face not quite paying off because Haruichi could see his tension just fine. He’s heard from Eijun about Youichi’s link to Ryousuke. Haruichi really doesn’t fancy the idea of constantly bothering the local guardian with personal affairs, but since Youichi has practically gotten himself ankle-deep in said affairs anyway, he figures there’s little left for him to lose.

“Hey.” Youichi seems to hold his breath for a second before continuing. “I’ve got some news about Ryou-san that I think you should know.”

Straight to the point, huh. It’s funny, how the hundreds of worst case scenarios that occurred to him earlier have now simply blended into one blank thought. Haruichi swallows, and nods.

“I actually heard this from someone else but uh—“ Youichi moistens his lips and averts his gaze, searching the air for the right words— “I think he might’ve been cursed by the Nine-tailed Fox.”

“But he’s with the best onmyouji around; they should be able to do something, right?” Haruichi asks, mostly for his own sake because it’s that easy for a few words to send his mind reeling. If it’s something even they can’t do anything about then…then…

The hesitance doesn’t leave Youichi’s demeanour, his eyes refusing to meet his. “I’m…not too sure about that.”

Haruichi’s afraid to ask. And yet.

“What do you mean?”

A moment more of reluctance, then a resolute breath. And finally, Youichi looks at him.

“I don’t think they know about it.”

“Is that even possible?” They’re onmyouji; detecting and dispelling curses are supposed to be one of their specialities. It’s highly unlikely that they wouldn’t notice anything even if Ryousuke denies it (which, let’s face the fact—he probably would if he thinks it’s something he can deal with himself). Maybe Youichi’s misunderstanding something? Then again, nine-tailed foxes are borderline legendary creatures, so the odds aren’t completely improbable. If there's a type of youkai that can outsmart even the best onmyouji in the country, it'd be them.

Sometimes, Haruichi hates his own rationale.

“Curses aren’t exactly my thing, but that’s kinda what it feels like,” Youichi says, rubbing the back of his neck in thought. “His consciousness is pretty much back to normal as far as I can tell. As unreliable as it is, it’s just a bad feeling I’m still getting despite everything.”

“Then…then what’s there we could do?” Haruichi asks, the question directed more to himself than Youichi. If even full-fledged onmyouji are unable to take any action, what more can a self-learned fledgling and a youkai deity who specializes in combat do? Is there really nothing they can do apart from watching the curse take its effect and torment his brother until possibly the end of his days?

“I don’t know.” Youichi runs his fingers through his hair, exhaling in what seems to be exasperation. And for the first time since their conversation started, Haruichi notices the concern on the tengu’s face. Because despite what Youichi says and how he acts, Haruichi knows how he’s come to see Ryousuke as some sort of friend. He figures there should at least be a sort of special status granted to the ones you work with to protect something, after all.

And quite suddenly, Haruichi feels much less alone. He’s no longer the only one who has to fret himself restless over Ryousuke’s wellbeing. He hasn't been alone for a while now, much to his shameful realization. Some part of him has always been subconsciously blinded by the past, by the rejection Ryousuke unfairly faced all those years ago that left a huge impact on him at very impressionable age. It’s different now. There are more people who care now.

It’s at that moment that his long period of uncertainty comes to an abrupt end. He finally knows what he wants to do, even if it’d end with crushing expectations on his shoulders, even if he’s going to put his life at risk. Even if he’s going to have to train until he pukes blood like Ryousuke did because it’s the only way he can help directly, it’s always been the only way he knows that would make some sort of difference even if he’s been too cowardly to face it all this while.

“You have any ideas?”

Haruichi wonders if it’s really that obvious; all it took was one look at him from Youichi for him to ask. He allows himself just a second more of hesitance before nodding, resolute.

“If it ever comes to it, I’ll help him remove the curse.” He clenches his fists at his sides. “I’ll do whatever it takes to gain the skills to do that.”

And if Youichi thinks he’s being overambitious, he doesn’t show it. In fact, he seems impressed, to an extent. Pleased, even. If their situation hadn't been this solemn, Haruichi would've wondered with amusement how things have progressed to the point where he's become someone a local deity can feel proud of.

“Well, good luck with that, kid." Haruichi lurches a step forward  when Youichi pats his back in encouragement. "You're definitely gonna need it."

xXx

Unlike a good majority of the onmyouji around him, Ryousuke’s decided to stop trying to figure out if the kitsune’s done anything to him.

It’s five days before he’s allowed to leave. Five. Days. He’ll find out sooner or later anyway, so he really doesn’t see the point in him keeping him quarantined for so long. He just wants to go home, is that really such a difficult request? Really, it’s not like he was dying on the spot or anything. He’s sure he’ll figure something out if it’s going to be a prolonged curse—which, is turning out to be a rather likely possibility given the lack of immediate signs at the moment. Though, that’d only be true if the Fox truly had managed to make her move in time before she was forced to flee. With all these uncertainties, it’s difficult to decide what’s exactly going on.

Of course, as though being singled out by the Fox and being the subject of scrutiny for days aren’t bad enough, Kazuya’s assigned to accompany him back “just to be safe, for Ryousuke-dono’s sake”. To say neither of them were too keen on the arrangement might be quite an understatement, though Ryousuke has to admit appreciating the extra hand when it becomes apparent what the Fox’s escape has triggered among the youkai along the way. It isn’t exactly easy to keep swarms of unusually malicious youkai at bay while still recovering from the miasma of the city, not even for Ryousuke.

But Kazuya doesn’t need to know that, of course. Ryousuke decides his ego’s huge enough as it is.

“Heh, it’s been a while.”

Ryousuke says nothing as Kazuya marvels at the sight of his hometown once they're there, his usually cocky expression softened to something marginally resembling fondness. He used to drop by often back in the day, mostly to torment Eijun periodically and have surprisingly solemn chats with Tetsu about stuff Ryousuke never took an interest in finding out. Ryousuke’s never really expected him to be the sentimental type, so he’s careful to keep this observation in his memory for future blackmailing purposes.

“You’re free to go back now, you know.”

“Wow, not even an offer to stay for a meal?” Kazuya feigns a look of severe hurt at him. Ryousuke merely shrugs, nonchalant.

“Unlike you, I’m quite the busy person. I suppose you wouldn’t want to be waiting for me to get all my things sorted out before you get to eat?”

“...Point taken,” Kazuya admits after a second of thought, familiar enough with Ryousuke’s workaholic tendencies to believe his half-lie. Though, it’s not like anything’s going to be different even if he doesn’t, really. “Well. Guess I’ll be on my way, then.”

He flicks his wrist in a backhanded wave before walking off, heading towards the direction of marketplace with more purpose than Ryousuke's ever seen him have while at work. Ryousuke goes the opposite direction, soon strolling through the familiar streets, past familiar buildings. And Ryousuke-sama’s back, whispers are exchanged among the tiny street youkai who spot him, word of his return slowly spreading like a wave across the area. Ryousuke’s back.

And as he enters his own home, Ryousuke wonders if Haruichi’s prepared enough food for his share as well this time.