#HOLY HELL THIS IS HILARIOUS

[amazinglyegg]

Maximus proving that the Brotherhood doesn't have sex ed

S1E5 at 12:50 - transcription below the cut

[Lucy] Want to have sex?

[Maximus] ... You mean use my cock?

[Maximus] (weak chuckle) I don't know. Uh, that weird thing could happen...

[Lucy] What weird thing?

[Maximus] Well, it's just, for some guys - not me - uh, but for some guys, you know, when they make it move...

[Maximus] ... it gets all big and hard like a pimple and then it pops

[Maximus] And they say it can happen to anybody, but still, it's... it's gross

[revserrayyu]

One HSR Character a Day Day 39: Sampo

[beastsovrevelation]

My Good Omens fanfictions are kicking off. Or, should I say, Lady Crowley is. In one of the stories, she was supposed to end up with Hastur. No, she decided she wants to be with Michael.

I guess, I'll need to come up with a seperate F!Crowley x Hastur storyline, because I'm not letting go of that ship.

F!Crowley x Michael... I like the sound of that. I really do.

Has happened to all of us, hasn't it? Your superior in the military waltzes in, and seduces the love of your life. Not to mention, that's his pregnant girlfriend, and when he finds out, it's too late.

Whatever, Calla Crowley can still end up an astronomy-obsessed, equestrian pastel goth, if General of the Heavenly Host is her stepmother.

I must say... In one story she's with Satan, in the other she'll be with Michael... Lady Crowley, honey, you keep pulling the Olympians. Good for you.

P.S. - I don't know how accurately to Good Omens I'll portray Michael, since I haven't seen season 2, and it doesn't matter. I have a very particular way I like to see the figure. Honestly, if she isn't the General, and the leader of angels in Good Omens, it's a crime. Because, if she is, why haven't I seen her in armour/uniform in any of the screencaps?.. Either way, her version I intend to paint is amazing.

[hypocriticaltalkingseal]

It's wild watching Orpheus (KAOS) be the way that he is while having Talk Hozier playing full volume in my head because my brain cannot not play it whenever Orpheus and/or Riddy are on screen

[uncanny-tranny]

My newest update: This is what ~$20 looks like. If you even care.

[dreamybasil]

door

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Oh I just remembered this dumb little tf2 AU I made a while ago where basically, Medic somehow accidently writes down ARCHIMEDES as the official owner of all 8 mercenary souls, and the team has to get in wacky hijinks trying their best to keep Archimedes alive because if she DIES, their souls will be the Devil's to own FOREVER, because Archimedes is a BIRD that DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO NEGOCIATE THE SOULS OF MORTALS

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

The Hellsing fandom is so hungry we go beyond just Stroker's book, we steal from Historical sources as well

[enigmatic-mystery-777]

👀

Got called out by a friend about this and didn't quite believe it...until now. It's so damn funny 🤣🤣🤣

[crispyflowerblaze]

billy joel songs that are just conceptually funny to me

that awkward moment when you go home with a guy and he thinks you want to hook up but you really just wanted to hear him play the saxophone. and this ends up ruining his life (christie lee; an innocent man)

when you're so distracted by your beautiful wife that you can't get anything done and all your friends make fun of you (temptation; the bridge)

stop being so mean to my wife!!!! (that's not her style; storm front)

phone sex (sometimes a fantasy; glass houses)

(i'm making a les mis reference, sorry if this makes no sense to you because you don't have enjoltaire brain rot lmao) ... literally just how grantaire would think of enjolras if he wasn't in love with him (prelude/angry young man; turnstiles)

huh, thought i would've had more lol

[headdaze]

I just remembered that time when I experienced my own "there's only one bed" scenario and can confirm: people do really say "there's only one bed" when faced with only one bed in a hotel room they thought there were two beds in, and, more than that, there is indeed an awkward moment of silence afterwards.

[miss-conjayniality]

UUGGGGHHH partied way too hard tonight 😭 and I have wake up in like 3 hrs to prepare for a performance at a parade 😭 rip 😭

[wabblebees]

thought id update to say; i survived opening night!!! and not only that, it went REALLY fucking well, and people seemed to REALLY REALLY like it omfg... god this is so crazy

[pilmyeol]

MADE FUN OF MY SIBLING AND THEY MADE A FACE AND I COULD TELL FROM THEIR FACE THAT THEY WANTED TO PUSH ME DOWN THE STAIRS AND AS I WAS OPENING MOUTH TO TELL THEM I LIKED THEIR IM GONNA PUSH YOU THE STAIRS FACE THEY SAID SHUT UP ILL PUSH THE STAIRS

[star-realities]

I didn’t even mention that the Vine that’s like this ends tonight Batman or should I say butthead still exists even without people being sure Batman exists so you’re welcome for that also I guarantee at least one of the Robins showed their father at some point ❤️⚡️

I’m oh 100% sure SOMEONE showed it to him. Who got the privilege? No idea. Probably multiple of them.

But the way I can picture his face seeing it- just staring into the camera like he’s on the office or smth LMAO

[milo-melon]

Messing around with warriors cats clangen and this stupid game I can barely read the text in my browser has me feeling bad about a cat named Greenapple

Was taken by two legs and never came back I miss her