#HKB stands for HaKodesh Boruch Hu

[patbwaifs]

"what are you doing"

if i can get into your head, maybe i can understand what his headspace was!

"i'm literally a fictional video game character"

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

------- there's a silver lining to everything yeah?

pros: mysterious and tragic backstory cons: i̵̢͎͚̘̫͇̓̒̋̚ ̵̢̪͚̻͕̀̈́̓͌͂̑͗̋w̶̧̠͔̦̘̘̅̽́̾̔̌͗̈ͅǫ̷̣̣̦̅̋̓̽͆͘̚͝u̵̫͚͍̤͂l̷̨̝̜͙͕̄̎̂͑d̴̦̓͆̌̓͒͝ ̸̼͈̙̭̖̩̦̰̿̓̽̓̕ḏ̸̠̰̹̭̭̩͕̽̂́̊̃̕̕ė̷̡̓s̷̼͚̔̐̍͊͝ṭ̶̡̧̞͈̠̞̐͒͆ŗ̵̛͕̼͔̑o̴̳̘̎̒̕͝y̴͍͕͆̅̈́͆̓̿͌͝ ̸̢̪̙͎̦̖̩̒͗͗͝ť̵̨̺̘̣̘̪̣̑̀ȟ̸͎͛͒͛͝e̴̛̖̮̘̎̈́̉̂̔͘ ̴̬̯̭̤̺̉͆̍̓͒̚ͅw̸̗͆̎̍̀ȍ̴̞̫̇r̶̼͙͂̄͜͝l̸͍̞̤͖͋͆ͅd̸͔͓͙̼̞̭͕͗̍̉̐͘͝ ̶̹̎́͊̓̍̕͠͝��͎̯ͅţ̷̬̳̙͍̯̲͍̑o̶̥̳̒̂̈́̀ ̵͉́̄g̴̨͙̱͔̻̬͑̔̿͆́̾e̶͇̔͗͛͌͑̄̈́t̸̢̖̙̦̍͛͆̆͝ ̶̧̙̘̃̒́̏͂̂̏͝ý̵̨̡͍͉͔͉̦͙́o̵̞̗̩̬̯̥̤̾̈̅̽͂̇u̸͔̞̞̓̾ ̴̤͋̆̽̎͝b̴̪̮̯̝͉̈́̃̋̍̋̓̚͝a̶̡͙̠̣̻̼͖̾̉̍̈́̓c̶̺͙̤͍͕̆̅k̸̝̠̤̎́̓̏̎͝ͅ ̶̬͈̒̈̋̽͐̚͘b̷̛͎̣̝̘̐͂̇͑̈͝u̵͚̘̦̼̝̞̝͐͊͑͋̾ẗ̵̩̯̰̝̈́̏͛̓̾̎͠ͅ ̷̞̣̜͝ì̶̭̗̜̱̬͛̄̀̅͠ͅͅ ̴̢̺̮̠̼̭̈r̷̢͉̖̤͎̪̜͝ḙ̵̍͌̉̈́̋ṕ̴̤̺͕̻̬̲͙̤͛̓̀ȅ̵͓̗̲̠͕a̷̖̹͂͆̌̔́̀̄͝t̵̨͖̜̩̖͛͗̑̈̾̈́̈̚e̶͍̬͍̻̓d̵̬̜͙̩̤̰͉͖͑l̷̢̛̤̙͓̈́̄́͋̓̀͠ͅÿ̸̧̞͙͇̤͓̘̏̓̅̈́́͘͝ ̴̞͎͎͉̦̂̆p̶̯̐͂̔̎̒̚͠l̴͚̖̘̹̮̩̼͊̒̃͌̀̚͘͝e̷̩̰̰͛̿̎̽̓̋͆d̷̡͎̙͈͚̙̰͛͆͆̉g̶͍̬̈́̓͑͆̈̿͐é̵̞͇̤̖̲̲̩͗͑̓ͅ ̴̼͇̖͌͂̔̎͛͑m̷̫͔̘͓͇̪̋́̌͘͝ͅy̷͉̌͊͆̂͊̃̃ ̷̝̞͔̓̋̈̒̿̀l̴̛̋̂̀̍̀̾̿ͅo̵̮̙̜̐̈́̓v̴͇̳͎͎̼̎́͊̓ȩ̶̞̙̲̠͎̐̚ ̵̣̰͚̼̈́͗̾̂͛͛͠à̶̛̩̝͕̦̟͎̮̅͜n̴̗̅͐͛̓̍̏d̴̡͚̲̟̦͓̾̊̈͊́͆̋͂ͅ ̵̧͚̰̲͉͎̞̈́̓̏̆l̵̺̯̤̤̭̇ọ̵̘̱̣̍̓̆͑̒̒̚y̸̨̙͈̾͂͊̐̍̐̚͜a̵̡̛͕̰̜̟̦͐͘͝l̴̹̞̫̺̄t̵̼̓̀̏y̸̛͇̜̿̾̍̏̒̕ ̴̢̛̺͙͐̕͜͝t̸̥̐̊̔̒̂̇͘͘ǫ̷̬͖̝̫͙̓̓͊̑̒͜ͅ ̵̢̧̞̺̫͇͇̹̓̒̽͂̚͝H̷̛̹̭͒K̵̛͉̱̔̒͊̾̂̚͜B̵̺͒̈

on more art related things, i have some rules established in my head for Connor's face, and now I just have to practice and adjust. repetition!!!

i do have a number of projects I need to finish before I can give some attention to this, but I really like just sketchin it up and showing everyone.

----------- I'm okay. I think I've been reaching a point in my life where I can finally think and talk and discuss about what happened to my family in 2016. only took me *checks notes* 7 years. remarkable! or rather it's like... i can process what happened now or be destroyed by it again.

For context

tw for suicide mention .

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tumblr please let us have multiple page breaks Q_Q

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augh My younger brother took his own life in September 2016. The day before my birthday. In accordance to Jewish law, the body must be buried within 24 hours of the death, but HKB in His infinite wisdom and mercy delayed the funeral via some issue with the city and my family over the body. As a result, the funeral was the day after. Not to get all religious and Jewish out of nowhere...

I miss him every day. I have a ring I wear that has his name on it in Hebrew. (It's actually kind of stuck on there. I got some hefty fingies compared to the rest of my hands, haha)

I'm a low empathy person in general. But I wish I could empathize with my brother, somehow. And I have found such an avenue through Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife for a multitude of reasons, including the ending where Connor is all alone in front of the Android Revolution.

Connor is - a mediator between me and my brother. I'm sure my brother would have related a lot to the character if he were here. maybe. but i think there's similarity between the two, haha.