#HIM NOT WEARING AN UNDERSHIRT 😏

[thiziri]

Sir Tim Laurence arriving at the State Opening of Parliament at the Houses of Parliament, on 17 July 2024.

[granolawriting]

How abt one where Joel misses the reader sm soo he comes to meet her very late at night they both drink leading to smut cause ofc 😭😏 and maybe in the middle joel makes a vid of them but he didn’t remember it cause he was drunk and later after a week or soo he discovers it idk something like that 😫

pairing: NSFW!reader x no breakout!Joel

Summary: Joel brings over liquor and a smile, a situation synonymous for whats to become of every few months of your life filled with drunken sex and family dinners with him. And as you hear the infamous knock upon your door once more, you fall for his southern charm once more.

Content warning: dom!Joel, drunken sex, doggystyle, video without permisson, rough fucking, porn with a little plot, cumming inside, praise, pet names (sweetheart, darling, doll), "good girl", long haired joel because I say so!!!, age gap (obviously..)

word count: 2.8k

A/N: thank you for this request!!! my first Joel req.. of many I hope hehe. I have a special place in my heart for drunk Joel, probably for reasons I shouldent. But I digress, very fun to write :)) I hope you enjoy!

The clacking of your keyboard brings noise to an otherwise quiet evening within your home, finishing up work on your computer was the only thing that troubled your mind at what the clock shone as 12 into the night. 

A ring of your doorbell catches you off focus for a moment. There was no means for a package to arrive or even people for that matter. It was far too late for any reasonable person to be out and especially at your door. Fear overtakes you for just a moment before curiosity outweighs it and the sudden urge to stay where you are is replaced by the insatiable one to see what lies on the other side of the door. 

You check the phone that had been charging at a port out of your line of sight to be greeted by absolutely nothing, zero clue into what the meaning of this visit could entail. 

The creak of the door upon your hands opening its knob do you watch as it reveals a certain Joel upon the other side of the door. Facing him as he faces you, a selfish smile coating his face as he grips within his hand some nondescript black plastic bag. 

Looking upon Joel did you notice the clothes, and general demeanor he held. With salt and pepper hair grown out slightly, traces of product line it's ends as they clump together to create some semblance of unity as they fall upon his face, the gruff lines and wear of an older man are what you find beneath the strands of hair-- a grin complimented by a short and kempt beard. The clothing upon his body was all worn, but good quality. Red plaid complimenting his undershirt as a worn brown leather jacket works as his outer jacket. Dark levis that signified one of his better-dressed pants, as the stains of work grow more apparent upon the lighter colors he chooses for jeans. His belt was fashioned to fit the precise mold of his body with the crease of the belt hole he uses every morning having considerably more wear than the rest of the belt. 

“Hey sweetheart.” 

A compelling southern drawl complimenting a sly smile was almost enough for you to entertain this interaction with outright positivity. 

“Joel, what are you doing at my place this late. Don't you have work in the morning?”

“Got the day off. But I'm flattered yer lookin out for me darlin. Came by just to say hi, that such a crime?” 

He lets himself into your home as the sloshing of the bag he held within his fingers becomes more curious. 

“You at least gonna tell me what's in the bag? Or is that also none of my business.” 

You cross your arms in an attempt at anger, though fall short as he sees right through you, as he always has been able to. 

Two bottles clash with the top of your wooden table providing a clink to follow what he says; 

“Thought we could share a drink, you and I. like old times ‘member?” 

Memories of the ‘old times’ flood your memories as blurs of sloppy kisses and drunken love fill your mind, the reminders of all the times you and he have had together, and all the times you have not had together. The relationship between you and him was special to say the least. He was no boyfriend, but he was definitely not just some kind of fuck buddy. Or was he? There had been times you took care of Sarah, taken her to games, but there had also been times when there was no communication for weeks on end. It all depended on if you guys just showed up at one another's door. All oftentimes ignited by a simple drink, would it grow into flame of passion that extinguished within the coming months to be done once more after well enough time away. 

It was very toxic, sure. But for someone like Joel, part of you was compelled to believe you could just deal. You didn't mind it.

“Well if the drinks are free, I can't say no. and free delivery, now that's something special.” 

You teased with him a moment, as it wasn't discernable what kind of night it was going to be yet. Some nights you and Joel stayed up until the early morning talking about life, the way you two felt about the world and so on. Other times, the early mornings greeted you with a lot less of a profound means for staying awake. 

“You know that's my specialty.” 

He stands to grab glasses from your cabinet, the muscle memory he holds of knowing exactly where they are making a swift shift from shelf to table as he proceeds to pour you a glass. 

… 

The night grows dark as the two of you grow to run out of things to catch up on. Learning about Sarah's most recent academic achievement, or what sport she's picked to do for this spring. He tells you about the things going on at his work, trying to dumb it down but never quite making it understandable regardless. You tell him how your work goes, trying to not mention any school you may still engage in as a means to not remind him how old he is or how the gap in your age could be equally compared to that of the entire rule of certain kings throughout history. 

You grasp at things to say near the end of your last story. Realizing nothing already said can follow up, leading to a lapse of silence to overtake you two as liquor fills your system looked within his dark eyes as they stare back at you. 

“Know what, fuck it.” 

Joel mutters before pushing all casualty and simple conversation out the window as the tension building up inside of him grew too hard to bear. It seemed as if he was just looking, praying for a quiet moment so he had the means to pounce on you. He didn't properly care about any work you had due, as he watched the pink of your lips as they moved with the sound of your voice, the hair upon your head falling into your face and watching sloppy fingers push it behind your ears. The way your chest poured out of the top you wore and above all else, the look within your eyes that yearned and pleaded for the exact same thing. 

He almost jumped on you, the passion deep within his heart that sunk to his legs as he brought himself from the seated table to your left sounds of wood clashing against wood and a disruption in all the items upon the table you two sat at he brought himself closer to you in one move. He knocks you off your own chair in the process, as the two of you fall onto the floor in a fit of passion as his lips interlock with mine. 

“You don't know how fuckin badly I’ve been missin this darlin”

Is muttered as he lay above you, his arms now holding your wrists to the floor as he looks you up and down. He goes into your neck, licking it up and down as his sloppy movements and tongue coat your whole neck with the sensitive kisses bites of his drunken fervor. His hand releases from the right side of your wrist as it traces down your body, his knee propped up against the left side of you he stables himself to feel your body with his hand. Groping your chest desperately as you feel calloused hands trail under your shirt and across your waist. Sloppy grabbing at every part of your naked body as he moves from your neck to your lips once more. Forcing his tongue down your throat as every move he makes is made with unparalleled desperation. 

He lets up for a moment, breath heavy and sweat coating his face as the clothes he wears begin to heat him up. Realizing that you watch him straddled on top of you as he removes his jacket, followed by the unbuttoning of his flannel to reveal the muscle he held underneath. You watched as his chest went up and down to match the sound of his breath as he looked upon you. 

Part of you grows desperate as well, as your now free hands trail to the only part of him that still stays dressed, his pants. Moving fingers to trace the creases and lines of his jeans, slowly going closer to the growing bulge in his pants. Playfully toying with it, getting just close enough to it but never exactly where he’d want you to. 

You watch as every move you make brings him even more tense, small groans are to escape him as you move a single finger over his bulge and you watch as he throws his hands on the sides of the floor next to you. your faces now an inch apart he whispers within your ear;

“Nows not the time to be playin with me sweeheart. Theres no reason I wouldn't turn you right around and fuck you myself now is there?” 

You stay silent for a moment, but he grabs your jaw and asks again. 

“Is there, darlin’?” 

You shake your head no, unable to muster up a word as your arousal turns you into silent awe at the sight of him. Though with his suggestion you allow yourself to thereafter be moved by his hands onto your stomach, leaving your back completely vulnerable to him. You hear what is the clink of his belt as he struggles to get it off in desperation and with the drop of it across the room thereafter. You hear the zipper of his pants signify their drop as well, watching his phone fall to the side of you in the process. 

He removes your shorts and underwear at the same time to reveal just your ass below him as he straddles your lower legs. Feeling as his hands toy with your ass, moving it and smacking it as he wished. 

Though without much more time wasted, you hear a spit into his hand that undoubtedly coated his cock, as you felt his heat meet yours as he teased it between your folds for a moment before entering you. 

He enters you with a long groan, as he goes in and out of you with no pace and little regard for going slow. The first few thrusts are slow and intentional, but he grows much more sloppy with no time. 

He leans his body to curve on top of yours as you lay on the floor with your knees only to prop up an easier means for him to enter you. He begins to bite your ear, groans and whispering into your ear praise and curse words;

“Fuck hnm, darlin’ you’re so fuckin tight for me. Oh my god ya feel so good fer me. You’re my good girl takin it like you should.” 

His drawl comes out even more when he's drunk, he humps you as you feel his breath hitch and grow uneven on the side of your neck. Though he centers himself once more, this time using only one hand to hold you as to hold you still as he fucks into you. His forearm crossed above your chest, feeling the muscle of his bicep on the side of your arm and the thickness of his forearm grip you as he moves in and out of you. 

“Do you like that huh? Tha way I'm fuckin ya? Arent you my good fuckin girl?” 

He demands a response, to a pleading and moaning mess in your reply as you utter out the words;

“Yes, yes I'm you’re good girl. Please, don't stop please” 

“I could never stop when you feel this fuckin good. God I'm,” 

He falls into grunts as he tries to keep his body straight as he fucks into you with even more desperation as you can feel him growing close by just the feeling of him inside of you. And before you know it you feel a final groan escape him that follows hot fluid shoot deep inside of you as he rides out his full orgasm feeling you contract on top of him, your body desperate to keep in every drop. 

Falling onto the floor, he lays beside you in a sweating, breathless mess as you lay there the same. For a moment you and him look at one another and smile, before you both get up once more to clean each other off, and go in for a shower before you two share a bed for the night. God knows how late it even is now. 

---

“Hey doll, ya know where I left my phone?” 

A voice wakes you up, one of a fully dressed Joel who apparently, is about to leave. 

“Aw, not staying for breakfast?” 

You tease, letting yourself get up a bit and stretching to orient yourself to the morning. 

“Would love to, but Sarah's gotta short day at school today. Hows about ya come over fer dinner tonight? Our treat.”

He shines you an old smile, and your heart melts the same way it's done every time past. 

“Then it's a date. Last I saw, your phone was on the floor in my living room.” 

Pointing him to that direction, he exclaims to have found it, and to follow you hear and opening and shutting of a door to signify that once more, you are alone. Beginning your morning routine you spend some time moving things around mentally, seeing what to do with the day since you now have plans in the evening.

---

Joel stops his car within his driveway, checking the time he realizes he’s much earlier than he expected himself to be. He has around 3 hours to kill before a little girl will be waiting for his beat-up car to take her home early, the best day to ever befall a girl or so it seemed to her. Walking within his home he drops keys into an empty bowl, kicking off heavy boots so the creaking within his home subsides to a much lighter and more sparse sound than that of heavy boots clanking on the soft wooden floors. He sits upon the green couch in his living room, turning on the tv he devises to text you something as a means to make up for the abrupt departure the night before. Though as he opens his phone, it opens to the photo gallery where a new video seems to have been added. 

Oh my god. 

He clicks on it with hesitant hands, and as he does his mind is brought back to a night he failed to properly remember. 

“Do you like that huh? Tha way i'm fuckin ya? Arent you my good fuckin girl?” 

“Yes, yes i'm you’re good girl. Please, don't stop please” 

He feels himself grow at the sight of what's on his phone. 

A video, of last night? 

He never remember taking something like this. Let alone ever saving it. But as he watched as he came inside of you, hearing your begs and pleas for his cock it aroused him in a way he couldn't suppress. As the video ended he lay dumbfounded for a moment. Curious about what to do with such a video. But as he looks at the replay button upon his phone the only thing that fuels him is unquenchable lust. 

Unbuckling his belt once more, he unzips his pants to reveal his hard member once more. Sitting upon that couch does he replay the video. Slowly touching himself at the sight of your body. Watching the way your ass moved on his cock, the way your waist looked curved to get the most pleasure out of his cock. He watched the way you bounced on and off him, the way your body looked gripped by his arm and the desperation that coated your voice as every thrust inside of you elicited a scream or a moan. 

He was obsessed, entranced with watching over and over again as he made you cum, as he came inside of you. And as the pace of his hand around his cock grew faster, it was before he knew it that he finished with closed eyes and a heavy groan once more. 

After cleaning himself up and changing, he looks at the video on his phone once more. Curious of what to do with it. He thinks for a moment, but as a smile creeps upon his face he knows exactly what to do with it. 

“Wanted ta’ let you know I just had a little fun with this. You look fuckin’ amazing darlin’. Might hafta do this more often.” 

*video attached* 

[colliholly]

I love that you used to draw spamton more consistently with a shirt but now you more consistently draw him with his tits out. You werent lying about being immune to puppet boobs huh? 😏 /lh/lh/lh

(its okay im not immune to the puppet boobs either)

LOL... even though I love the idea of him wearing a white turtleneck, I found drawing the actual turtleneck collar on him always looked a little awkward. Which was partially why I upgraded him to no undershirt

The spoobs are also a plus

[nemo-in-wonderland]

Buddy! *brings in a pot of calming tea and plops down* So...Barnabas and Neva...what's each one's favorite article of clothing to see the other person in, specifically in the bedroom? ("Nothing at all" is also an acceptable answer hehehe 😏) -Crowie <3

CROWIEEE MY DEAR!!!!

ALWAYS COMING IN BRINGING THE GOOD QUESTIONS!! 😂😂(and yes, I got the one about Mephisto's hair, I am still debating how to answer that one, BUT IT WILL BE ANSWERD, DINNAE WORRY LOL).

So, come here now and grab some pizza with me, while you are at it!!

SO, BARNABAS AND NEVA EH???

mmmm the favourite clothing that they love to see on each other specifically in the bedroom, eh??? *wiggle eyebrows*

YOU ALREADY ANSWERED TO IT. 😂😂😂😂

But in all seriousness, it depends on the occasion in bed.

You see, Neva is INCREDIBLY uncomfortable to be in the nude, even with Barnabas, especially in the beginning; not so much for the sex, but rather because of how completely scarred her whole right side of the face and body is, and she doesn't want her King to see her like this.

And Barnabas knows that. He knows it very well.

So, I like to imagine that Barnabas' favourite garment for Neva in bed is this one

but not truly for how the garment looks, but rather for how happy and comfortable and BEAUTIFUL Neva felt when she was wearing it for him.

Neva instead loves to see him wear just his undershirt completely unbottoned.

LIKE, THERE IS SOMETHING IN PEEKING AT HIS CHEST FROM THE OPEN SHIRT THAT JUST MAKES HER GO GAGA.

I MEAN.

ahem

but well!

there you have it!!

THANKS FOR PASSING BY, CROWIE, DEAR! <3

--Nemo

[thesolarangel]

A touch of cinnamon and spice

Chapter 3

Summary: Halloween bash! Things start to heat up! (there's also some Jargyle in this! 😏)

3.006 words · Rated: T · College AU · Please read the updated tags on AO3! This one is a little angsty. Alcohol mentioned, but they drink very little or not at all and they don’t kiss under the influence!

Thanks again to @elronds-pointy-ears and @niennawept for beta reading!

Read on AO3 here

Chapter 3 · October 31st 1987 

Eddie stood in front of the mirror at their dorm room, putting the finishing touches on his halloween costume. Dragging the eyeliner pencil very carefully across one eyelid, then the other one, then he paused, took a step back and critically examined the result. He grinned at his own reflection, totally digging this different look for himself. And he was eager to find out if Steve would recognize the character.

He had decided to dress up as “Dwayne”, one of The Lost Boys, from the movie that had come out a few months prior. Most of the clothes he needed for the costume had already been in his closet anyway: A black leather jacket, battered jeans and boots. The outfit didn’t feature a top, so Eddie was shirtless underneath the jacket. But he had made his own “tooth” earring from scratch and the necklace featuring all kinds of little trinkets, like an old rusty key, some wooden beads and a few bottle caps. All of it was tied together into a necklace with a thick burlap ribbon. He wore his hair down like he always did, but opted for some eyeliner to complete the look. 

The door swung open and Argyle waltzed into their room, wearing a yellow t-shirt and cap that said "Surfer Boy's Pizza” in red letters.

“Hey, guys!” He greeted them excitedly.

“Dude! What did we say about knocking first?” Eddie complained.

“Whoops, sorry!” He scratched the back of his head. ”I promise I’ll get a hang of that someday…”

Jonathan raised his eyebrows, giving Argyle a once over. “Why are you dressed for work?”

“Man, I totally blanked on this whole thing, so this is the closest I could get to a costume…” Argyle shrugged, then he noticed Jonathan, who wasn’t dressed up at all. “And who are you supposed to be? Cute college nerd?”

Jonathan blushed. “I hate halloween, I’m just doing this for Eddie… and I’m the only one with a car.”

Now Argyle gave Eddie the once over and his jaw dropped. “Eds, dude, you look so awesome!” He gave Eddie an enthusiastic slap on the back. “Steve is gonna eat you up, bare chest and eyeliner and all!” 

Eddie’s chest filled with confidence once again. “You really know how to hype someone up, maybe I’ll forget about the knocking thing…” He laughed.

…

Jonathan pulled his car into the street of Jared’s frat house. Bright colorful lights and loud music streamed from the windows. A few kids were standing in the yard, smoking and chatting. 

The three of them headed inside. “Monster Mash” blasted from the speakers and a crowd of college kids in halloween costumes were dancing wildly in the living room. 

“Hey, you’re Alice Cooper, that’s awesome, man!” Someone passing Eddie shouted, but he just grinned back and didn’t correct them. Did he put on too much eyeliner?

As they made their way through the crowd, they noticed some kids were dressed as movie characters, others as scary fantasy creatures. There was a beer pong table to the left and a bunch of guys were howling and cheering their friends on. 

When they finally arrived at the kitchen, Eddie felt someone poking him gently in the side. He looked up and saw Argyle smirking at him, his eyes pointing towards someone.

Steve was already there, accompanied by a blonde girl in a red puffer vest. Marty McFly. Eddie was a big fan of “Back to the future”.

“Hey, you made it!” Steve greeted them cheerfully. 

“Hey, Stevie!” Eddie grinned back, immediately noticing his halloween costume. Steve had dressed up as none other than Freddie Mercury. “You look amazing!” Eddie complimented him.

Steve was wearing a white undershirt with a deep neckline that showed off his marvelous chest hair. Eddie felt the urgent need to run his fingers through it… The shirt was tucked into a pair of tight faded blue jeans and a studded belt. His hair was slicked back and he even thought of the studded bracelet around his right bicep. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off him.

“Thanks, you, too! Love the eyeliner on you!” Steve beamed at him. Eddie blushed, trying to keep it together, but Steve was so damn pretty, all dolled up in front of him. 

“Oh right, Robin, these are Eddie, Argyle and Jonathan.” he added politely, then he introduced the girl beside him. “Guys, this is Robin.” She waved at them. “My Platonic Best Friend – “ Steve started, but got interrupted by Robin “Platonic with a capital P!” They laughed.

“Love your costume, dude!” Argyle gave her a thumbs up.

“Nice to meet you.” Jonathan said, smiling at her kindly.

“Thanks, guys!” She beamed.

“Should we get drinks?” Steve asked the group.

While the other three got to know each other while getting drinks, Robin pulled Eddie to the side of the kitchen. “Hey, you’re one of The Lost Boys, right?” She asked him.

“Dwayne, yes! You’ve seen it?” Eddie replied, excited that she knew who he was supposed to be.

“Loved it! It was so heavily queer coded, wasn’t it?” Robin looked at him with a knowing stare and smiled.

Eddie stared back “... wait, you, too?” Robin nodded enthusiastically. Eddie laughed and hugged her. He loved making new queer friends. He already knew he liked her from her taste in movies.

“I’m so glad to finally meet you, the infamous Eddie! Steve has told me so much about you!” Robin nudged him in the side and grinned. 

Eddie’s heart made a jump, but before he could interrogate her about that, Steve was back, handing him and Robin each a drink. “I just grabbed cola for all of us since Robin doesn’t drink and I’m driving.”

“Thanks!” Eddie took his drink, turning to Steve again. “So you really dig Freddie, huh?” he asked curiously. 

Steve gave him a dashing smile and said “Yeah, I do.”

Eddie grinned back. “You’re missing the iconic mustache though.”

“I know! I totally forgot about that! Robin offered to just draw one on and I had to take all of the sharpies away from her…” Steve said, giving Robin a side eye.

“Your loss!” she shrugged. “Waltzing around in an incomplete halloween costume!” 

…

Steve turned out to be a pretty dorky dancer. He spun Robin around to the music and insisted on doing the same with Eddie, who grumpily agreed. After seeing how freely they were jumping around, Eddie didn’t have any worry left needing to be perceived as “cool”. This was not high school after all. When “I love playin’ with fire” came on, Robin and Steve looked at each other with wide eyes and completely went nuts together, dancing to their song and ignoring everyone around them.

These dorks. Eddie smiled to himself and danced along to The Runaways.

They danced amongst the cheerful crowd like this for a while, until Robin discovered the twister mat and forced them all to play, including Jonathan and Argyle who she fetched from the kitchen.

Argyle turned the wheel, while the others curved and wriggled to get their hands and feet onto the right position. In round 2 Eddie was so close to Steve, his cheek nearly touched Steve’s outer thigh and Eddie almost fell. He smelled so great, too…

Get a grip, Munson!

But then Jonathan lost his balance and took Eddie with him in the fall. 

Eddie rubbed his back. “Ouch, dude”, he moaned in pain while they untangled their limbs and stepped off the mat. 

“Sorry… clumsy…” Jonathan apologized, holding his back as well.

Robin and Steve were the last ones standing and things got quite competitive.

“You may be stronger than me, dingus, but I can bend better!” Robin announced confidently as she stretched to reach the red dot with her right foot.

“Excuse me, I’m bendable!” Steve retorted, likewise extending his leg. Eddie almost spit out his drink at that.

“Next is left hand, green, guys, come on!” Argyle instructed them with Jonathan sitting beside him, attentively watching the game.

Eddie watched them closely. Steve was on all fours now, muscles tight and a determined look on his face. He stretched out his left hand towards the green dot, making his shirt ride up and exposing his tanned skin. Eddie gripped his glass tighter. But then Steve’s left foot slipped and he dropped to the ground. “Argh, nooo!”

“Ha-HA!” Robin shouted triumphantly. Everyone cheered with her, except Steve and she proceeded to tease him mercilessly the rest of the evening. 

Next they went into the basement where the pool table was set up. Everyone grabbed a cue and Steve started the game. They did fine mostly, Robin being in the lead at this round, but Jonathan didn’t quite get the hang of it. 

“Here, let me show you”, Argyle offered. “First of all, you can’t see shit with that fringe, my dude.” He gently pulled Jonathan’s hair back, took his pizza hat and put it on his friend’s head backwards, keeping his hair from obstructing his view. Then he stepped intimately close behind Jonathan, towering over him and placed his hands gently over Jonathan’s on the cue. 

Then he maneuvered him into the right position. “And then you just….”, he lined up the cue, aimed at the ball and Bam! It went straight into the corner pocket. “There you go, dude!” Argyle let go and smiled happily down at his friend.

“Thank you, bro!” Jonathan beamed at him.

Everyone else just stood there, stunned by what they had just witnessed between the two. Robin just grinned knowingly, said nothing and stepped to the table to make the next turn. 

After a few more rounds, Robin had successfully won the pool game and the group went back to the kitchen for another drink. She was plotting her next challenge. “Let’s see, what can I beat you in next, dingus?” 

“Ugh, I need a break, my back hurts…” Steve complained dramatically.

“You’re just a bad loser, Steve!” she laughed. “I think I saw a dart game somewhere…”

But Steve let out an annoyed groan: “No way, I’m not letting you throw pointy objects, you might take someone’s eye out!”

As much as Eddie enjoyed listening to their banter, he really needed to pee right now. “Hey, guys, where’s the bathroom?” he asked.

“Upstairs, first door on the right.” Robin replied and turned back to Steve. “Okay, but what if…” and she went on to explain her elaborate plan to make dart fool proof.

…

When stepping out of the bathroom, Eddie heard subtle noises coming from the next room. The door stood open a little bit and Eddie risked a peek. Argyle was cornering the much smaller Jonathan against the wall, cupping his cheek and kissing him. Jonathan was still wearing Argyle’s hat and he had both of his hands on his back, pulling him closer. 

Heat shot up Eddie’s face and he froze when he realized he was staring at his best friends making out. 

Good for them.

He smiled to himself. He had already suspected them having a thing for each other, because of how often Jonathan didn’t sleep in his own bed and Argyle’s flirty behavior today only confirmed it. Very quietly, he turned around on his heels and made his way back downstairs to the kitchen.

Only Robin was there, grabbing some snacks.

“Hey, have you seen Steve around?” Eddie asked.

“He’s outside.” Robin pointed to the patio.

Eddie went into the living room, moved through the crowd of students, doing their best zombie moves to “Thriller” until he reached the patio.

“Hey, Robin told me I could find you here.” Eddie said softly as he closed the glass door behind him. He was relieved to find that they were the only ones here right now.

“Eddie, hey”, Steve smiled at him, he was wearing a cozy looking hoodie jacket embroidered with the university logo. 

Silence fell between them as they stood there for a while peacefully, breathing in the cool night air and listening to the muffled music and laughter coming from the party.

“Listen, Ed–”

“Are you ok–”

They laughed and then Eddie said “Sorry, you go first.”

Steve looked down at his feet. “It’s nothing… I mean, I don’t know…” he murmured.

“Oh, okay…” 

Then it was quiet again, but after just a moment, Steve took a step towards him. Eddie sucked in a sharp breath. Steve was so close, his cheeks were a little pink from the cold, he looked so beautiful. Was this really happening?

“Are you drunk?” Steve asked softly.

“No… I only had like one beer… are you?”

“No, I’m the designated driver tonight.”

“Good.”

“Good…”

Steve took his hand, intertwining their fingers and oh, this was happening.

“Is this okay?” Stupid, wonderful, shiny eyes looking at him.

“Yes…” Eddie breathed, heart hammering in his chest.

“And this?” he cupped Eddie’s cheek, glancing down at his lips. 

“Steve, if you don’t kiss me right n–” But Steve had already cut him off by sealing their lips in a gentle kiss.

Eddie felt Steve smiling into the kiss. That bastard. That charming, considerate bastard.

Their first kiss was intoxicatingly sweet. Steve’s lips were so soft as he kissed him carefully, grazing over Eddie’s in a slow play of push and pull. 

Eddie let himself get hauled in by Steve, falling deep into the vibrant aura that was his warmth, his full lips, his earthy scent, while losing all sense of time and space.

Steve. Steve. Steve.

It resonated in his mind. Steve’s kisses were tender and full of affection, Eddie couldn’t get enough. He let his hand wander onto Steve’s lower back, holding him closer. A small gasp escaped Steve’s lips and his hand moved into Eddie’s hair at the back of his neck, stroking the sensitive skin there.

Eddie thought his heart might give out any second from the way his body was melting in Steve’s hands… Every spot he caressed burned up and Eddie swore he could hear his own blood rushing in his ears.

After what felt like hours, Steve released him and both of them were breathing heavily. Eddie rested his forehead against Steve’s, closing his eyes to forever burn this moment into his brain. They were still holding hands, Eddie’s thumb stroking over the back of Steve’s hand absentmindedly. 

“That was…” Eddie whispered.

“Yeah…” Steve said, a shy smile curling his lips, his cheeks now properly flushed, but not from the cold. Eddie smiled as he gazed at the prettiest boy he had just kissed. 

“Do you wanna go inside and find a cozier spot?” Eddie purred, one hand on Steve’s waist.

“I like the way you think, Eds.” Steve grinned.

Those words made Eddie’s face lit up.

Eds.

Nobody had given him a pet name before. Oh, he was falling hard.

“Come on.” Steve chuckled and maneuvered him back inside.

…

Back in the living room, someone yelled from the group of guys over at the beer pong table. “Hey Harrington, we need you over here!” 

Steve waved at them and then turned to Eddie. “I’m gonna say hi real quick and then meet you in the kitchen, okay?” He smiled at him, his hand was on Eddie’s lower back, sending a hot spark through his body. 

Eddie nodded. “Sure thing”, he said and watched Steve vanish into the dancing crowd.

Eddie made his way to the kitchen. He poured himself another cola, thinking back to what had just happened. Steve’s lips were so soft… 

He couldn’t wait to do that again. And more... Did this mean they were dating? Should he talk to Steve about that? Where should they spend their first real date?

Wild laughter ripped him from his daydreaming and he turned around. The group from the beer pong table stood in the doorway, Steve was with them.

He was chatting with a petite girl with curly shoulder length hair who Eddie didn’t recognize. She was laughing so much and her cheeks were very red. One arm around his waist, she clung to him as if she’d fall otherwise.

Then she cupped Steve’s cheek, pulled him down and pressed a firm kiss to his cheek. And worse, Steve didn’t even seem to mind. He smiled charmingly and kept talking to her. 

What’s going on…

But before Eddie could analyze this whole situation reasonably, an overwhelming notion of disappointment and hurt rose in his chest, spreading poisonous thoughts…

» He was just playing with you. That’s all. You’re not special. «

He tried to look away, but in that brief second, their eyes met. Steve’s bright expression fell once he noticed Eddie’s upset look, but before he could open his mouth, Eddie fled the kitchen. 

He almost bumped into someone in the hallway. “Eddie, what –” It was Jonathan. 

“Can we go home?” Eddie murmured.

Jonathan searched his friend’s face, waiting for a follow up, but Eddie remained quiet, looking utterly devastated. “Yeah, sure, man. Let me grab Argyle real quick and then we can go.”

…

The whole way back Eddie stared out of the window of the car, dark thoughts nearly drowning him. The atmosphere was tense and Jonathan and Argyle were dead silent the whole ride.

Eddie was fidgeting with the necklace when one of the wooden beads fell off. He angrily yanked the whole thing off, but it got caught in his hair and when he tried to untangle it, it got even more stuck.

“Fuck, this – stupid – thing – this is – BULLSHIT!” 

Jonathan winced in the driver’s seat, startled by Eddie’s loud voice.

“Sorry…” Eddie murmured.

When he eventually freed it from his messy hair, he threw the stupid thing to his feet and let out a frustrated sigh. Looking out of the window again, he noticed his reflection. 

Damn, Munson, you look like shit.

His eyeliner was smudged and his expression was miserable. Hopelessly, he dropped his head in his hands.

I guess I don’t mean anything to him…

tag list: @starlady66 @bananaphanta @runawaymun @mistergandalf @fenharel-enaste @queenmeriadoc @elronds-pointy-ears @hbyrde36 @hammity-hammer @corrodedbisexual @spoookysix @rozzieroos @cranberrymoons

devider by @firefly-graphics

notes:

This will mostly be realistic BUT there will be hand holding, mixed dorm rooms, being openly queer on campus and at parties! So don't come at me with "this wouldn't have been a thing in 1987"! I know and it's fiction!! Also: “I love playin’ with fire” by The Runaways might not be a common halloween party song, but Maya Hawke said in an interview, that Robin likes The Runaways and Joan Jett and the song is danceable, soooo… I’m also thinking that her music taste rubs off on Steve! Moodboard: left: Freddie Mercury at the Live Aid concert 1985 (Steve’s halloween costume), right: Dwayne from “The Lost Boys” movie from 1987 (Eddie’s halloween costume) ... Hopefully it was clear, what Eddie felt and why he read the situation like he did. That the girl was flirting with Steve and he reciprocated it. It was a little tough to write!

[the-missann]

Previous post (Mammon)

Here we have ~Leviathan~ ☺

He stole my heart and my phone storage.

Levi's Casual Outfit

I actually had a love for this outfit for the longest and didn't change him on my home screen for nearly a year after I unlocked it.

Why I liked this?

Well, because it looks perfect to game in. As someone who plays video games, you sit on your ass for hours and don't have time to stop to change anything on you.

So if it's too hot, take the jacket off and wear the undershirt.

If it's too cold, put it back on.

In addition to him wearing joggers, which is just the most "gamer" thing I've ever seen, his clothes just look really comfortable. They look as if you could wear them for hours and not be bothered by jeans being too tight or a dress shirt getting uncomfortable after a while of sitting.

11/10 for me.

Levi's Human World Fit

As for this one, I didn't like it at first, but now I'm desperately farming for shards to get this 😷. Now, this takes a turn from him being comfy as this looks more athletic. Athletic clothes aren't made for comfort, they're made to be flexible and work with your body as you do exercises...

Wait, exercise and Levi in the same sentence?

Joke aside, I think this suits him well and why I think that lies in the convention world. I've never been to a convention before, but I often see guides to your 1st and everyone says you better bring water, food and to take breaks every so often. I would assume Levi prepped himself to go to every convention, event, pop-up store, theme shop and more when in the human world, so he has to be flexible and not exactly "comfy."

Bonus that his jacket looks awesome and makes me wanna wear it. Who am I kidding, I wanna wear all his jackets and clothes

Levi's Beach Outfit

I wanted to add that I was happy when I saw Levi had next to no body definition in this outfit.

It's always so weird to see his body look similar to Lucifer's, Beel's or Diavolo's when he doesn't work out and is super out of shape (getting winded at a casual jog). I'm glad they fixed this compared to his original beach card that had him with a whole ass six pack when that doesn't make any logical sense.

I don't hate the view, obviously 😏, but not all guys have to be ripped to be attractive. Lower that standard and just let guys be healthy the same way I want girls to just be healthy!

[iambellarose1816]

Helsa in a Mafia AU

"You ready?" Hans asked Elsa as he came out of the walk in closet wearing a black suit with a white undershirt and a black tie.

Elsa was wearing a black lacy dress with spaghetti straps while standing in front of the mirror admiring what her husband chose for her to wear.

He wrapped his arms around her and they locked eyes and he placed a kiss to her neck. "Shall we leave now? We are the hosts and you know in the Mafia we need to be punctual." Hans said.

Elsa nodded and grabbed her purse and they left the room.

Hans placed his gun inside his blazer pocket and gave Elsa a gun to keep in her purse. They walked out the door, but was interrupted when their head maid called.

"Mrs Westergaard, what would you like for dinner?" Elsa smiled at Gerda and shook her head. "We won't be home for dinner, so you can just make some food for you and the guards." Gerda nodded and walked to the kitchen.

Elsa walked to the black Lamborghini that Hans was leaning on while scrolling through his phone. "All sorted?" Elsa nodded and Hans opened the door for her.

They were on the road and almost at the hall. Elsa leaned against the window and sighed. Hans placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed.

"What happened, darling?" Hans asked sweetly.

Elsa placed her hand on top of his and smiled. "Nothing, just thinking about how we met." Hans chuckled and pulled her hand and kissed it.

"You were a simple girl, working at a bakery and I was a regular customer there." Hans said. Elsa giggled. "I didn't even know you were a Mafia Don until Anna told me." Elsa said as she pulled their intertwined hands onto her lap.

"I know you were so scared whenever I used to come by after Anna told you, but faith happened and I fell head over heels for you. I never knew I was capable of love until I met you."

Elsa smiled. "I fell for you too, how do you think we ended up together?" Hans laughed and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I love you." Elsa leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Love you too, Hansy."

They reached the venue and Hans helped Elsa out the car. He threw the keys to the valet and they walked in.

Many guests were already there and when they were about to enter the guards stopped them. "Please welcome our beloved hosts, Mr and Mrs Westergaard." They heard as the doors opened and everyone clapped.

Hans and Elsa made their way to the bar and sat down. Hans noticed that some guys were shamelessly checking out his wife so he placed his hands on Elsa's hips and pulled her to his lap.

Elsa heard him growl 'mine' when she was harshly pulled to him. Elsa rolled her eyes and kissed his lips. "Babe, I am yours. I know the men here are looking at me, but they should know that I am yours and only yours." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He chuckled and leaned down to her ear. "If they were alone here I would have put a bullet in their heads."

Elsa hit his chest and glared at him. He shrugged. "Can we have a fruit cocktail and a glass of Whiskey?" The bartender nodded and quickly handed them their drinks.

"Happy 2 year anniversary, baby." He said. "Same to you, babe." And they clicked their glasses together.

Might do another Mafia AU 😏

[overseer-picard]

Okay, we are going to talk about uniforms here for a second because I have some questions and concerns.

"First Contact" introduced the snazzy blue-ish-gray and black uniforms that were then implemented on the later seasons of DS9. They look fantastic and utilize things like zippers and general functionality (things the old TNG uniforms did not).

Side note regarding TNG's main uniforms:

We know that Gene Roddenberry had a seething hatred for zippers (and understanding dramatic storytelling) and they tried to hide the zippers by putting extra fabric over them and placing them down the back so, in the universe of Star Trek, where these secret zippers technically don't exist, are we to assume that these uniforms are... are... PULLOVERS? Let that thought haunt and vex you.

Okay, back to the matter at hand,

So we have the basic look of the jacket that everyone wears.

Look at those beautiful zippers down the front where they are supposed to be. Love the banded cuffs that match the field colors.

Then we have this cute little number, the "captain's variant", much like Picard's strange velvet jackets in later seasons of TNG. I actually love this more than the basic jacket and wish all the crew could wear it.

Then we have our base layer, the zippidy turtlely neck in the various red, teal, and gold field colors.

And then we have the suns out guns out blue undershirt (nice 😏).

(Look at Data back there lookin like a lil patchwork quilt)

So, here's my question: the basic jacket and the captain's variant vest are seemingly two separate outfits, right? So why does Captain Benjamin Prophet Sisko wear EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME? Jacket, variant vest, turtlely neck, undershirt.

Is he cold?? Is it a practicality thing where he peels off layers as various space station juices get on him throughout the day? Does he like looking extra large for extortion activities? Does he think the vest is like a waistcoat that goes with a three piece suit? Does he want extra layers to hide snacks in or maybe deflect wayward blades? I don't know. But he still looks great so that's all that matters.

[djarrex]

A very explicit Rex drabble this fine Friday evening 😏 (oral - m receiving)

(I was unable to include the gif I got this cropped screenshot from lmaooo but enjoy)

The risk is far too high - too dangerous. And yet, that's what makes it all the more exciting - makes the smallest muscles pulsate between your legs - fire kindling in the crux of your sex.

Any of the Republic's finest could enter through the slim doorway - catching one of their commanding officers getting his dick wet in the middle of the open, bunk-filled room where they lay their heads at night. They should all be out, as Rex had stated before you'd even gotten down on your knees, but who knows.

Kneeling on the hard floor in the center of Rex's barracks is where you're currently situated - slowly engulfing his cock with languid bobs of your head.

It wasn't planned - not here, anyways. You really were meant to take Rex back to your place, as you normally do, but something you cannot yet place led you to do what you're doing.

Maybe it was the atmosphere - the ambiance. The way Rex had just unclasped every piece of his cherished armor before placing it all into his chest at the foot of his bunk. Maybe it was how you hadn't seen him in far too long, finally standing before you but still wearing his look of soldier - Captain - Commanding Officer.

Maybe it's simpler than all that. Maybe you were extremely horny and ready to devour the man you love, right then and there. Setting aside. Risk be damned.

"The boys are all out," he'd said with his signature smirk shaping on the lips grazing the shell of your ear. "C'mon - before I'd need to report in."

You'd chuckled, running your palms down his firm chest - the tight fabric of his undershirt - the faded gray cog beneath your hands. "Is that so?"

"Mhm." He'd pulled you close with a strong arm wrapping around your lower back. Without the hindrance of his armor, you'd been able to feel every dip and hill of his body pressing into yours. Sturdy. Firm. Scalding. "Back to your place, yeah?"

Too long from now.

Wordless, you'd sunken down to your knees - meeting the cool floor with a devious gleam in your eyes. He'd sucked in hefty breath through his nose - eyes widening before quickly melting into something hungrier.

Rex hadn't told you to stand - to take his hand and encourage you to wait to pounce until the two of you were back to your place. He instead watched the way your fingers teasingly played with the taut fabric of the underarmor pants that had clung so nicely to his thick legs - nails grazing the patch of hair trailing from his navel to below the waistband.

"On my knees, Captain. Right here, right now."

You'd palmed him until he was as hard as the plastoid he donned more often than not, pulling his cock free once he'd helped to shimmy his tight pants down a few inches.

Rex always feels so fucking good in your hands - every single part of him. His cock throbs in the gentle squeeze of your fist, warming your palm as you lean close with an extended tongue. That familiar, salty tang meets your tastebuds, and you hum in satisfaction - wasting no more time taking him whole. Your lips stretch around the girth of him as your tongue moves back and forth, slowly, as you suck him off.

Rex's eyes leave you when his head tilts slightly backward, hands clasping one another behind his back. He angles his hips towards you - jutting outward and remaining still. You do all the work, taking care of Rex one, gentle, deep suck at a time. His breath gets caught in his throat as you will yourself to inch further with each comeback - the blunt head nudging the narrow cavern of your throat - stretching and nestling himself inside of you as he does when burrowing between your legs.

"Feels so - osik - feels so good." He punctuates that with a groan - the rumble of it making you clench.

The praise makes your clit throb, and you can't help but wiggle a hand down beneath your own pants - finger sliding through the slickness coating your lips. It's almost mindless as you simultaneously suck his cock and worm your finger around your pussy.

"You're so... so... fuuuuck- "

Rex is at a loss for words at the moment, too overcome by the feeling of your wet, hot mouth enveloping nearly every inch of him. You're intoxicating - innebriating him with every swallow - every glide along your tongue.

A moan bubbles in your throat as you tweak your clit in tiny motions, eyes fluttering closed as you play with yourself, relaxing your throat as his cock glides right on down. Rex's breathing and low moans begin to crescendo as his thighs start to subtly quiver, you notice, and your eyes open once again, glancing up and finding that his own are wide and watching how your hand moves around between your legs.

"Fuck, cyare, are you touching yourself? All worked up with my cock down your throat?"

Rex having had apparently found the words, you can't help the shiver that claims your entire body at the gravel dominating his voice - the sound of his words shooting a fire straight to your core. Nodding the slightest bit, batting your eyelashes and quirking your lips into a smile, you slowly take him even further than before - your nose meeting his groin - the hair littering the first inch of his cock tickling your skin.

The broken cry that escapes him in slivers and shards preludes the sudden swell and burst of his cock - liquid heat trickling down the back of your throat.

"Oh... oh, fuck."

His hands press at the crown of your head, holding you in position as he cums - breath bated and abdomen flexing through the tight shirt.

It's as if you can feel every ounce of his composure flee from his being.

In seconds, Rex pulls himself from you - a string of cum and spit clinging to your lips and the head of his cock as he departs. With a confused glance you lick the fluids from your lips, watching as Rex quickly tucks himself back into his pants and reaches for your upper arm to help you to your feet.

Once standing, he instead reaches for your hand - the one that was buried in your pants - and brings your fingers up to his face.

Rex tells you what he wants with only a look.

You nod, guiding your two fingers between his lips as he closes around them. He sucks the tang from your skin - your taste he so very much enjoys - and you swear you see his eyes roll into his skull.

His gorgeous lips glisten - amber eyes blown wide.

"Now," he mutters - a blend of firmness and neediness lacing his tone. You already know the meaning behind the single word - that Rex wants to take his time with you, wants to break you into pieces with every eye-crossing orgasm he can pluck from you, as he's done plenty of times before. The images flashing before you of Rex's mouth latched to your cunt - feasting and laving and practically drinking from you - has you biting your lip.

First stealing a quick kiss, you turn on your heels and head towards the door - Rex right on your tail - hands glued to your sides.

[lue-arlert]

Image source: @picopocorei7

Summary: Porco is the younger heir to Galliard Oils, but an experience from his childhood has left him turned off to the idea of old money; he decides at a young age that he wants to earn his keep by finding work, and as he grows closer to graduating college, he discovers that life is harder than expected, and turns to temporary means of income—becoming a sugar baby to local business owner Prudence Rousseau.

WC: 5.5k

Chapter content warnings: OC content, modern au, smut (18+ MDNI), hand job (18+ MDNI), vaginal penetration (18+ MDNI)

A/N at the end of the chapter

Previous Chapter 2 Next

Like a Virgin

Porco spent a few days getting comfortable with the app, scrolling through potential matches and reading their bios, swiping past ones he wasn’t interested in, and having conversations with a small handful of women he did match with, only to find they were duds and moved onto the next.

While sitting in his stats class working with a project partner, his phone buzzed with a notification that someone marked an interest in him on the app.

He tapped away on his screen while his project partner scribbled in their notebook, and raised an eyebrow at the profile picture of the woman. She had shoulder length auburn hair, brown eyes, and little dots of freckles across the bridge of her nose, sitting on a black leather couch with a drink in her hand, dressed as if she were attending a party in a sparkling dark green gown, a knee crossed over the other to show strappy black heels, and a playful smirk on her mauve colored lips.

He glanced over her profile for a moment before replying to the interest, his tongue tucked in between his cheek and bottom teeth as he pondered.

Porco: Hi. I like your dress.

He placed his phone back on his desk and turned to his project partner to see what notes were made while he was distracted, then his phone buzzed once more, pulling his attention back.

Prudence: Thank you, sugar. 😏 I like your eyes.

My eyes? He stared at his phone with a light dusting of pink over his cheeks before pulling his lips down in amusement and typing out a response.

“Porco?”

“Hm?” He looked up at his project partner, who pointed at their stacks of papers and books with their pencil.

“This is due tomorrow. Can we focus, please?”

“Sorry.” He cleared his throat and put his phone away before reaching to grab a book.

Porco panicked as he looked through his dresser, scavenging for a decent shirt to wear on his date. He’d spoken with Prudence on and off for a few days, and finally set up a date—which was perfect timing, because just this morning his hot water got shut off.

He groaned as he stared at the mess of clothes spilling out of the drawers, grabbing his phone and calling Reiner.

“Hey,” his friend answered.

“What the hell do I wear?” Porco asked with stress in his voice.

“Wear to what?”

“I have a date tonight. We’re going to that place off Van Moran, I have no idea what to wear.”

“What time?”

Pock looked at his phone screen and sighed, bringing it back to his ear. “An hour.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Thanks, man.”

They disconnected their call and Porco stared once again into the abyss of wrinkles and faded graphics of his shirts.

When Reiner finally arrived, he took one glance through the dresser and closet before shaking his head and taking off his coat, laying it over Porco’s desk, then pulling his black knit sweater over his head and tossing it to his shorter friend, being left in his black undershirt.

“Reiner, what the hell—”

“Your wardrobe is shit. Have you bought any new clothes since high school?”

He blushed and held the sweater against his chest. “I bought some button up shirts for the cafe when I started there.”

Reiner rolled his eyes and grabbed his coat again, sliding his arms back into the sleeves. “If this date goes well, have her buy you some new clothes.”

“I just want to pay these bills I have right now.” Porco pulled his tee shirt over his head, minding his freshly slicked-back hair, and replaced it with the one-size-too-big sweater, glowering at the way it sagged around his shoulders and chest. “Reiner, this doesn’t fit.”

“It looks well enough to pass as well-dressed. You have nothing else to impress her with, and I refuse to send you on a date in clothes you wore in high school or in your work shirt.” He pointed disapprovingly at the light blue button up shirt hanging in the closet. “You’re lucky those black pants look okay, I’d make you wear mine, too.”

Porco blushed again and looked down at his legs, pushing his knees together nervously. “I don’t think I can go on this date…”

Reiner grabbed his shoulders and made Porco look at him, his face stern and serious. “Go on this date. You need this.”

“I have an interview tomorrow with the school library finally, maybe I can just—”

“Go on this date.” Reiner repeated. “You need to get laid, too. You’re too stressed out.”

“Reiner—”

“Go. You’ve already got it set up. You need to pay these bills.”

He sighed in defeat and nodded, smoothing the sweater down over his stomach. “Yeah… I gotta go, I guess.” He checked his phone for the time and let out a frustrated grunt. “I’m gonna be late.”

Just before he put his phone away, a notification came through.

Prudence: Got a table in the center of the room by the wall divider. See you soon, sugar. 😘

He swallowed thickly and shoved his phone in his pocket, stepping away from Reiner. “She’s at the restaurant.”

“Alright. Text me if you need anything.”

“I will,” he sighed, grabbing his keys and walking out of his apartment with Reiner.

“And please—please—keep me updated on everything.” As they made it to the parking lot, Reiner rested his hand on Porco’s shoulder, a sly grin over his lips.

“Yeah, whatever.” Porco’s face grew pink again and he shoved the large hand off his shoulder, turning to his car and unlocking it.

He cursed himself for not grabbing a jacket before leaving his apartment and hugged himself with one arm, the other delicately cradling a small bundle of flowers against him while he hustled into the restaurant and out of the crispy January air.

A huff escaped his lips as he stepped up to the host, nodding politely when he was greeted.

“Can I help you?”

“I-I’m meeting someone here, she said she’s in the center of the room by the wall divider.”

“Ah,” the host smiled and angled his body to the left as he motioned in the direction. “Right that way.”

“Thanks.” Porco nodded again and walked past the host’s stand, through a small crowd of tables until he wandered further into the large dining room, gazing around to catch a glimpse of his date.

When he saw her sitting at a table checking her makeup in a compact mirror, he sucked in his nervous breath and strode over, timidly standing behind the chair across from her. “Prudence?” He asked quietly.

She blinked and slapped the compact shut as she looked up at him with a grin. “Porco! Heya, sugar.”

His shoulders relaxed, another blush creeping over his cheeks as he returned the smile. “Hi.”

She glanced down at the flowers in his hands before looking up at him again, her smile softening. “Did you bring me flowers?”

“Oh,” he blinked and nodded, passing them over to her as he finally took his seat. “Yeah, sorry—the app said your birthday is tomorrow.”

Prudence’s smile dropped as she took the four plastic-wrapped carnations and looked up at him. “It did?”

“Yeah.” Porco’s eyes widened in concern. “Is it not supposed to?”

“I just didn’t know it did that.” She shrugged and turned her attention back to the flowers and smiled again, sniffing them as she held them close to her.

“Oh.” He nodded and quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening the app to verify that he wasn’t crazy and did see the little cupcake icon beneath her name with the date 1/26 next to it.

A waiter came to the table and greeted the pair. “Oh, can I get you a vase for those, miss?”

“Please,” Prudence nodded with a grin. “And I’ll take a Sidecar, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded and took the flower from her, turning to Porco. “And for you, sir?”

“Uh…” He paused, looking at Prudence. “Can I order a Manhattan?”

“Anything you want, sugar.” She smiled at him and rested her elbow on the table, her chin propped in her palm.

“Manhattan, please.” He nodded in affirmation, glancing to the waiter again.

“Yes, sir. I’ll return shortly with your drinks and vase.” He smiled at the pair and turned on his heels to fetch the orders.

“You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Porco finally got a good look at her, staring across the table at the way her hair draped over her shoulders, laying against the green material of her sweater, her fluffy leopard print coat draped behind her over the back of her chair.

A pair of sparkling dangle earrings hung from her lobes, matching the necklace that sat over her chest, and her eyes held a sparkle just as glimmering as her jewelry, her smirking lips the same mauve color as in her profile picture.

“No,” he responded softly, bringing his hands to the table, wringing them slowly. “I-I haven’t even been on a date in over a year…”

“Really?” She tilted her head to the side and scrunched her brows together. “Good lookin’ fella like you? You haven’t been on a date in over a year?”

He shook his head slowly, swallowing his nerves. “I’ve been too busy with school and work.”

“What do you do for work?”

Just as she finished her question, the waiter returned with their drinks, followed by a small vase of the flowers that he sat next to the restaurant's small flower display at the center of the table.

“I’m a waiter at a cafe here in town, and I have an interview at my school’s library tomorrow.”

“Neat,” she smiled as she plucked her drink off the table and brought the glass to her lips.

Porco nodded while biting his lips and looked down at the leather-bound menu before him, picking it up and flipping through the pages.

Prudence watched him, her grin ever-present on her lips, as he scanned the pages with his brows pinched together, clearly in distress over the date. She tapped her navy blue manicured fingernails against her cheek as he seemed to focus on something that caught his attention.

“So what made you want a sugar mommy?”

His cheeks heated as he glanced up at her. “I—” It was obvious she found amusement in his response by the way she giggled at him, and it only made him sit further back in his chair. “I… I need help with some bills.”

“That’s the two thousand you asked for?”

He nodded timidly. “I-I feel bad about this.”

“About what?” She cocked her head curiously while pinching the stem of her glass.

“About… asking you for money.” Porco picked at the corner of his menu.

“That’s what I’m here for, sugar.” She chuckled and dropped her hand from her chin, reaching across the table and taking his fingers into her grasp.

His breath hitched at the softness of her skin against his, and he stared at the gold band that wrapped around her thumb before looking up into her eyes. “I-I don’t…”

“Porco, that’s what I do. Don’t feel bad asking me for money.”

“You do this a lot?” It took him a moment, but he finally let his hand relax enough to wrap his fingers around hers.

“You’re only my third.” She shrugged.

“How much do you usually spend on people?”

“However much they want—I mean, I’m not made of money, of course I have my limits, but what you’re asking for is a reasonable amount.”

Porco looked down at their hands again, taking note in the contrast of their skin tones. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman held his hand, save for the last time he fucked Pieck and they locked hands against the bed.

He huffed as he shook the thought away and looked up at her again, face warm again.

“You’re blushing.” Prudence chuckled. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m nervous.”

“What can I do to help?” She brought her other hand up to cup it around their hands and stroked his knuckles with her thumb.

“I… I dunno.” He shrugged and looked down at the menu again. “I guess I just need to figure out what I wanna eat.”

“Okay.” She smiled and nodded to him, releasing his hand and lifting her own menu.

They discussed what they were planning to order, finally deciding and spending the next 45 minutes chatting, and eating when their food arrived.

After paying, they escorted each other outside, Prudence’s arm linked into Porco’s while her other hand held her vase as she looked up at him, laughing.

He was blushing again, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand and clearing his throat as a shiny black car pulled up to the curb.

“This is our ride,” Prudence chirped, pulling her arm from his and reaching for the door handle. “I have a hotel reserved for us for the rest of the night.”

“I, uh,” he paused, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Hm?” She turned to him and blinked.

“I… I kinda wanna drive myself, if that’s okay.”

Prudence frowned up at him and shut the car door again, leaving her hand against the window frame. “You’re not gonna stand me up, are you?”

“What? No!” Porco’s eyes widened in a panic.

“You’re sure?”

“No, I’m sure, I’m sorry, I-I just would feel more comfortable having my own car.” His face grew red, and he reached out towards her before pulling his hands back against his stomach. “I’m not gonna stand you up.”

“Because if you are, I’d rather you tell me now so that I can cancel the hotel reservation before they charge me.”

“I’m not gonna stand you up. I promise.”

Prudence stared up at him for a moment, her brown eyes big and deep as she gazed at him before her lips slowly curved into a smile again. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Okay.” He nodded gently and paused, focusing on her lips for a moment before hesitantly stepping forward and leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth before stumbling back again and rubbing the nape of his neck, blushing furiously, his cheeks only growing hotter at the sight of her surprised grin.

“Well,” Prudence laughed. “I’ll see you there.”

“Yeah, okay,” he nodded again, watching her climb into the car before turning on his heels and hustling to his own, the kiss exciting him and driving him to want more.

Porco cleared his throat as he knocked on the door of the suite he was advised to visit, shoving his hands into his pockets while he waited for the door to open.

It finally did, Prudence swinging it wide with a grin on her face and a drink in her hand.

“Come on in, sugar.” She eyed him as he stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him and watching him gaze around the room.

He was quiet for a moment before he turned back to her, biting his lips.

“What’s the matter?” She stepped up to him and hooked her finger under his chin, looking up into his eyes.

“I’m just… I…” He sighed and tucked his tongue into his cheek.

“You’re nervous?” She asked, her smile softening.

“Yeah,” he whispered, nodding, his cheeks once again rose in color. “I… want to be good, for you… ear-earn what you’re giving me.”

Prudence chuckled and pinched his cheek before stepping away from him to a low bar across the room. “Will a drink ease your nerves?”

“Maybe…” He swallowed heavily and watched her, his eyes wide and curious at the way she hummed while pouring a glass for him, then held his breath when she approached him again.

“Here. Sit.” She motioned to the foot of the bed while sipping on her own drink and watched Porco take his drink and shuffle over to the bed, sitting quietly as he took a deep gulp from his cup.

Prudence downed the rest of her drink and dropped her glass to the bar, striding back over to him and standing between his legs.

He stared up at her while holding his drink against his chest. “Um… what do I… need to do.”

“Just keep sitting there being pretty.” She reached her hands up and cupped his cute cheeks, rubbing her thumbs under his eyes. “You don’t have to do anything, let me take care of you.”

He nearly whimpered at her words, swallowing his jitters and nodding gently.

“Now, I’m gonna kiss you, Porco. You do whatever feels right, but like I said, I’m gonna take care of you. You let me know if anything bothers you, and if you need me stop anything, just say, ‘apples.’”

“‘Apples’?” He squeaked. “What all are we going to be doing? What would I want you to stop doing?”

“I dunno, baby, that’s why the word is there,” she giggled. “I want you to do what feels right, what makes you feel good. You tell me what you do or don’t want, okay?”

He stared at her for a moment before he felt his breathing grow heavier and quickly shot back his drink and finished it, setting his empty glass beside him on the bed. “Okay,” he breathed while nodding.

Prudence grinned and leaned down, kissing his lips gently, still cupping his face gingerly in her palms.

Porco’s eyes fluttered shut as he kissed her back, resting his hands on the small of her waist, his lips slowly pecking and moving against hers.

He took in her scent, she smelled expensive. He recognized her perfume as something a family friend used to wear. It was a sweet smell, it wasn’t one that ever bothered him, but he could tell right away that if he ever smelled it again, he would only think of this moment.

Just as he felt Prudence’s tongue swipe across his bottom lip, there arose a muffled argument from the neighboring suite.

It made her pull away from him with a scoff of laughter, and she shook her head as she glanced up at the wall behind Porco. “Damn, I guess we’ve got some company.”

“Can we turn music on?” He asked, slightly out of breath from the warm kiss.

“Yes, we can,” she chuckled and released his face from her gentle grip, stepping away from him to a small duffel bag beside the bed, and dug out a Bluetooth speaker, settling it on the bar next to the ice bucket and digging her phone out of her pocket.

Prudence connected her music streaming app to the speaker and picked a playlist of random decades of tunes and turned to face Porco again with a sly smile. “Is this better?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly with a nod and a blush.

“Good,” she beamed and sauntered back over to him, taking her place back between his knees. She rested one hand on his shoulder and raised the other to his cheek, stroking gently beneath his eye. “Sit further back for me, baby.” Her voice was low now, and after he followed her request, she slowly climbed into his lap, giggling when his eyes widened and his cheeks turned a deeper pink.

“I-I, um,” Porco stammered, carefully resting his hands on her waist again.

Prudence smiled and kissed him briefly before pulling back and cooing, “Don’t worry baby, lemme take care of you. Would you feel better if I led the night?”

He paused for a moment to think, then nodded gently. “I would, yes… please.”

“Okay,” she whispered against his lips, kissing him softly and holding his face once more.

He returned the kiss, sighing in relief through his nose, and moved his lips with hers, quickly finding her tongue against his mouth again. Allowing her entrance, he groaned involuntarily at the taste of her tongue touching his, and his hands slid down to her hips, making Prudence hum.

“They ya go, don’t be afraid to touch me. This is your night, sugar, I want you to enjoy yourself too.” She kissed his upper lip, then pulled away when he spoke again.

“Can, um…” he pointed over his shoulder and looked at the headboard while biting his lips. “Can we sit… back there?” He turned to Prudence again. “It would be easier for me… to hold you.”

“Sure.” She smiled and dismounted him again, watching him scoot back on his hands and bum to wedge himself in the center of the bed between the pillows. Her smile widened when she saw the way he shyly looked at her as he waited.

Prudence crawled to him, climbing over his lap again and nestled herself onto him, taking his lips again.

Porco grabbed her waist and kissed her with a little more ardor, shifting so he could press his chest into hers. This made Prudence smile against his mouth and wrap her arms around his neck, arching into him as well.

Their tongues danced for a while, and hands began to roam. Porco recalled her telling him to not be afraid to touch her, and he couldn’t fight his urges any longer. His hands were desperately wanting to hold her tighter, touch her and pull her closer. He allowed his palms to slowly brush over her hips as their kiss grew hotter, exchanging heavy breaths and saliva like it was a hobby.

An involuntary groan rattled through Porco’s throat as his hands curled around the swell of her ass, and his grip made her hips rock and a quiet gasp leave her lips.

His breath hitched and he pulled away with wide eyes when he felt his cock twitch and begin to harden against her core. “Sorry,” he whispered breathlessly, carefully bringing his hands to the small of her back.

Prudence laughed and brought her hands around to his, pushing them to her ass again. “Don’t apologize, this is what we’re supposed to be doing.”

He swallowed and nodded slowly, and squeezed his palms around her bottom. He hesitantly leaned forward again and kissed her, relaxing and deciding to let his body go at its natural pace. He whimpered softly when Prudence grabbed at his sweater, and lifted his arms for her to peel it off of him.

She stared at his body, well-kept, smooth except for the areas where little patches of hair sat beneath his belly button and in the valley of his pecs. Prudence bit her kiss-swollen bottom lip and glanced up at him as she ran her hands down his torso. “You’re awfully handsome, baby,” she breathed with a coy smile.

He blushed furiously and glanced away from her gaze, bringing a hand to his nape and rubbing it nervously. “I-I, uh, I try to work out… th-the gym on campus is free to students…”

She hummed and leaned into his neck, planting soft kisses as her hands continued to feel him up. She said nothing else as she rocked her hips, finding herself growing needier for him as the minutes went on.

Porco brought his hands to her waist again and leaned his head back as she kissed his neck, curling his fingers around the fabric of her sweater. “C-can I take this off?”

“Mhm,” she nodded and pulled back from his clavicle, raising her arms as he pushed it off her body.

He stared at her, jaw askew, face beet red at the sight of her perfect, round tits sitting in a lavender lace bra. His hands came up and thoughtfully cupped them from the bottom, a sharp exhale leaving his lips. “Shit,” he whispered beneath his breath.

“Do you like?” Prudence grinned proudly, pushing out her chest a bit to let them bounce in his grip. “They turned out perfect.”

“‘Turned out’?” Porco asked curiously, looking up into her eyes with furrowed brows.

“I got a reduction a few years ago, now they’re exactly how I always wanted them.”

“Oh.” He nodded once and looked down at them again. He could feel her nipples in his palms through her bra, so he realized they were as natural as he could imagine. Had she not said anything, he wouldn’t have noticed that she’d even had any work done.

Swallowing again, he slid his palms along the sides of her bra, reaching behind her to find the clasp while he leaned his face up to kiss her once more.

Prudence returned the kiss and reached between them, grabbing onto his belt and undoing it while he fumbled with her bra.

Porco whimpered softly and let her handle his pants while he pulled the lacy fabric away from her, tossing it to the side when she slid her arms out. His hands immediately returned to her tits and he groaned loudly at the warmth they radiated over his skin.

“That’s it, baby,” she whispered, deepening their kiss as she lifted herself from his lap and removed her bottoms, the throbbing in her damp panties beginning to become too much for her. “Doing so good, Porco.”

He nodded into the kiss, but gasped when she pulled away from him. When he saw her working at his pants again, he lifted his hips to help her get them off, quickly followed by his briefs, and he blushed as she gawked at him. His instinct was to cover his junk, but Prudence caught his hands before they could, and she sat back on her feet, nearly drooling at the sight of his cock, leaning against his pelvis with a thick vein along the underside, his head red and angry and leaking a spot of precum.

“Porco,” she breathed, glancing up at him briefly. “I need you to fuck me now.” Before he could respond, she climbed into his lap again and attached herself to his lips, reaching between them and grabbing onto his dick.

“Wait, wait!” He squeaked, gripping her hips. “Not so fast, please.”

Realizing she had gotten a little cock drunk already, Prudence nodded and slowed down, resting her forehead on his and stroking him gently, watching his jaw drop at her touch. She smiled and kissed him, then asked, “Does that feel good?”

He nodded with his eyes closed and leaned his head back, panting as she carefully pumped him. “Yeah, fuck.”

She giggled and took one of his hands off her hip, resting it on her breast and let out a happy moan when he squeezed it. “Play with them all you like.”

He lifted his head and looked down at her tits, holding onto her lower back with his other hand while palming her slowly in the same motion she was touching him. His cock began to twitch and he started to yearn for the feeling over her warm pussy around him, and he looked up at her while breathing heavily. “Prudence, I—I’m ready.”

She kissed him, moaning in relief as she shifted her hips and ran the head of his cock through her soaked folds, swallowing his little whimpers at the contact.

Slowly, she sank down onto him, both of their jaws dropping, teeth clacking together as they each gasped at the way he filled her. Prudence steadied herself by holding onto his shoulders, her thighs trembling at how full she felt with him. “Shit, baby,” she gasped again, dipping her head back a bit before returning to his lips. “I’m gonna move,” she whispered into the kiss, and when Porco nodded and held tightly to her hip and thigh, she began to lift herself and sink down again.

Once she found the rhythm she wanted, she hooked her feet over his thighs and began to ride him, resting a hand on his chest. Her tits jiggled as she bounced on his cock, and Porco couldn’t take his eyes off her body.

He leaned his face down and took one of her nipples into his mouth, moaning into her skin at how tight her pussy was over his girth. It made him dizzy, not having this feeling in so long and then finally having such a blissful feeling like Prudence’s pussy—it made all the nerves of downloading the app and stressing over talking to people worth it. If he hadn't brought his focus to her tits, he would’ve cum instantly, and he didn’t want to do that to her. Not to this sweet woman, who made every effort to take care of him, so far just in their short meeting, he couldn’t be a two-pump-chump and just leave her hanging with barely anything, especially when she seemed so ready to pounce on him not moments ago.

Prudence squeezed her thighs around his hips, whining as her eyes rolled back when she angled her hips just right to get his long cock to find her sweet spot. “Shit, Porco,” she moaned, “tu me remplis si bien.”

Porco’s brows furrowed, unsure if he heard her correctly, but his confusion soon faded away as she gripped his hair, pulling him from his thoughts and making him groan around her nipple, his tongue lapping at it.

He could feel her fluttering around him, and he pulled her tightly against his body, sucking on her tit and digging his nails into her back.

Prudence moaned loudly and held onto him, grasping his biceps and rocking over his lap at a faster pace. She wanted his cock, wanted to cum, wanted to feel her toes curling and goosebumps crawl over her back and shoulders.

Porco pulled his lips from her tit with a pop! and moved to the other, shifting his feet to plant them on the bed and fuck up into her harder. He adjusted so he could lean back a bit and angle himself better, making her fall over him and rest her hands on the headboard to catch herself.

He pulled away from her chest and went to kiss her, but found himself captivated by the fucked out look on her face as she hovered over him, her pretty red locks framing her face and beginning to stick to her cheeks and forehead from sweat.

He watched her stare back at him, his hands idly rubbing up her back and around her hip as he thrusted up into her.

The sound of the music began to fade, and they could only hear each other’s moans and the squelching of her drooling pussy sucking in his cock, and his balls slapping the seam of her ass.

After a particularly hard thrust, Prudence gasped and felt her orgasm hit her before she could even notice its build-up, and dug her nails into Porco’s skin as she creamed around his cock, arching her back into him.

Porco grunted and lurched forward at the feeling of her walls clenching around him, and he brought a hand up to the back of her head to lace his fingers into her hair and panted, “‘M gonna cum, Prudence.”

“Pull out,” she breathed, kissing him and steadying her hips to let him reach his high.

When he felt like he was going to burst, he pulled her hips up and threw his head back, shooting hot ropes of cum onto her belly from beneath her.

She grinned down at his cock, watching every drop ooze out of him. Stunned by the sheer amount of it, she looked up to him again, her breathing slowing down. “Been a while, huh?” She commented, giggling when he blushed.

“Y-yeah…” he nodded sheepishly. “S-sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She kissed him softly before climbing off of his lap and sliding off the bed, sauntering into the bathroom to grab some rags. After wetting them with warm water, she wiped herself down and walked back into the room, climbing back on the bed and sitting beside Porco. She gingerly wiped away any of his seed that dribbled onto him, and smiled when she heard him hum in content.

“That’s nice of you,” he said quietly, watching her. “You don’t have to do that.”

“You ever heard of aftercare, baby?” She asked, glancing at him.

Porco shook his head, leaning back on his hands. “No.”

Prudence paused, her smile faltering just a tad before she forced it back on her lips. “When we fuck, I’ll clean you up. If you get any muscle cramps, I’ll massage them better. Does that sound okay to you?”

Porco stared at her for a moment before nodding gently, pursing his lips over his teeth. “Yeah, sure.”

He watched her smile at him, finishing wiping him down before turning and heading back into the bathroom to dispose of the rags.

His heart was pounding the whole time they were being intimate, and the way she smiled at him and cleaned him up after didn’t help at all. He swallowed heavily, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, and stared down at the rumpled comforter beneath him, butterflies taking over in his belly as he got a flash of the way Prudence’s face contorted above him while she came blipped into his mind.

He closed his eyes briefly, coming down from his high and thinking about what his future would entail from here regarding her.

Previous Chapter 2 Next

Series Masterlist

A/N: Heyo! Quick shout out to @coffeeforday for helping me do some rough translating!

French translation: tu me remplis si bien, “you fill me up so nicely”

Taglist: @seriouslyprongsies @coffeeforday @lavenderdaisyhoney @sinnerofthewalls @fierydiamond @porcoqalliard @reiner69er @loitering-in-levis-tea-shop @vabthehobbit @paradisdementor @pockcock @killerbananas

[redvanillabee]

@agenttanha First of all the fact that tumblr only showed me the first line of the reply had me almost cackling in a quiet room when I opened it.

I think the switch to boxer briefs is almost unavoidable once he adopts modern slacks, which are cut more fitted and without those darts around the waist. Trying to wear traditional boxers under modern slacks just sounds uncomfortable.

(It’ll probably take him some time to adjust to modern trousers in the first place, but hey, he adapts quickly. And the fact that Daisy likes them helps.)

On the other hand, I think it’ll be just harder for him to shake the undershirt habit. Without one, shirts just drag and rub in very uncomfortable ways, and stick to your skin in hotter weathers.

(Daisy likes to complain about the extra layer when they get down to Business 😏, but that’s not enough to make him drop the habit. An extra layer is just an extra bit of tease, and he likes riling her up.)

[kevin-the-bruyne]

It was so irresponsible 🥴 they had to make him wear slut shorts and sheer shirt without that white undershirt. And then they had to put him in the water 😇 it was beach photoshoot why wasnt he wet from head to toe like lhk. At least let his clothes cling to him

I kennot believe my eyes! Gj 2.0 didn't have sex with his future beloved just like that 😭 he's too responsible and that's why his life sucks. He should be more flexible yknow

Okay but gj 2.0 helloooo why are you so cold? Like i knew it i knew sex wasn't enough to keep a person coherent. You need to have love in your life. Or you are gonna be miserable like that version of puppy. Listen i do not know what i would do if suddenly loving boyfriend and friends and warm working atmosphere fell on my head (i know exactly what i would do. Im just as miserable as puppy 2.0 and im miserable enough to think listen fuck her she already has all this it's my turn. If we ever coming back at least i would try to do everything right this time) but can you not please hurt this maomao? Look at him and how he loves you. Yeah you are good and righteous boy you told him the truth now hug him and tell him everything is gonna be okay 😒

I finished it 🙈 my gosh finally all four of them opened up to each other and it was beautiful. All realities have finally become what they should have been from the start. Sex definitely can be helpful sometimes. Also the way puppy called another puppy slimy idiot 🤣🤣🤣 he's not anymore thanks to someone's magnificent ass 😏

Basically this was perfect fic for me. Good plot, misunderstanding that was solved by good ol lovemaking and also hope! This type of hopeful ending when you know: oh this idiots gonna be alright thanks god.

I loooooved it. Thank you for the entertainment ♥️

the fic being talked about here is half-forgotten dream

ANONNNN thank you soo much - this liveblogging really made my entire week. sorry I didn't respond before but I read it and I almost cried. Poor Gong Jun 2.0 is the most pitiful of them all IMO - he can't even admit to himself that he loves ZH 2.0 - at least with ZH 2.0 he had admitted it to himself and then drew up all his walls and GJ 2.0 is a bit of an asshole and doesn't even realize why!!! I'm a sucker for fluffy endings they have to end up with their respective counterparts and there is no pain!!

[synchronmurmurs]

Anyway imagine sleepy, comfortable credo wearing an undershirt and sweatpants because "that's all assistant! Reader had" (aka she's just been waiting for the moment to see him dress like that, she bought them for this occasion)

Oh my god I’m being blessed with Credo asks tonight, YOU’RE ALL FEEDING ME SO WELL THANK YOU. 😭😭😭

Oh my god though nonnie, I...... I love this idea so much. Credo in actual home wear might be the death of both assistant!reader and me. 😔✊ Like maybe he’s walking her home after work one night, but the weather just gets soooooooo bad all of a sudden oh noooooo. And it’s such a long walk back to his own home, so there’s just no other choice. “You’ll just have to stay the night Captain 🙄 Oh no I’m sorry it’s come to this, let me take your drenched coat, Sir. 😏-- wait I mean 😐 In the meantime here are these clothes I have that fit you perfectly no don’t worry about why I have these off you go the bathroom is down the hall”

........would you mind if I tried to fit this into Verses of Fortune, nonnie? 😔👉👈