#HHHHH THEY'RE SO PRETTY

[levitheeldritch]

Paracletes art

Eat up

Nom nom

Quick little drawing I did of my favorite holy Spirit

[sysig]

How much of me is me? (Patreon)

[guppygiggles]

.

[leafie-draws]

it sucks how even if u have someone blocked on here you can still see their posts being reblogged by others like I keep seeing my abusive ex friend's art everywhere and it sucks! AAAAAAAAAAA

[haechtual]

I keep having 'nightmares' that my room is infested with butterflies and spiders 😭

[jinhogwarts]

it's always exhausting when non fans put in their thoughts about groups they know nothing about, but nothing makes me rage like when non unis do it. it happened in 2018 (and after, even now people still talk about it saying it ruined pentagon despite the fact that in all areas other than views every single comeback since shine did way better) and it's happening now. like, if you don't know the facts about a group just don't speak. we don't want your wrong opinions, we don't want you to report back the lies you were made to believe in. we've been here longer than you have and we know what is true... so why are you speaking over us?

[emmenai-kalliston]

new experience unlocked yesterday: getting my hair cut by my crush in his parents' bathroom sink

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

Hmm so if selection domain size point to mesh line count set position to sample index at separated geometry... Does merge by distance have selection? Regardless a selection must be carried to define merge points or nonmerging points with distance 0 (whose positions can then be temporarily offset on Z multiplied by index to ensure distance). This may require singular connection points by letter which may complicate matters quite a bit thinking about it, since each connection would be dependent on the next one, and must be carefully chosen to avoid overlap. Perhaps a better solution would be a more complex jointed connection, but that would be even more difficult to keep from self-intersecting. The real solution is of course Give Me Node Of Fill Like Edit Mode Connect My Verts You Coward. Anyway I should look into mesh circle set position for arbitrary polygon FACE without curve conversion, though this brings its own challenges for sure. The things I do for topology and performance...

[neoraso]

riize when they're jealous

shotaro

is a little oblivious at first- for example: tries to make friends with the guy

then as the conversation drags on and taro realizes this guy is barely acknowledging him,, and is literally only talking to you he gets pretty uncomfortable

you are also getting uncomfortable and shotaro notices so he finds a way to quickly end the conversation (pretending you had somewhere else to be or smth)

he doesn't get too down about if afterwards and definitely doesn't blame you for anything he just tries to make jokes about how attractive you are "people just can't stay away from you! you're like the flower to a bee （⌒▽⌒）”

but honestly, it still irks him a bit. pls make sure to give him at least one kiss and remind him he's ur shining star

eunseok

def not the type to be worried about you around his friends or your male friends.. but random guys actually hitting on you in real.

he would never admit to being jealous, he tries to tell himself he's just annoyed with the guy or like.. worried for your safety which- um ok wtv

that being said ,, when he does get this way he goes completely cold. hard frown, glaring eyes, clenched jaw etc. etc.

he's very confident in your relationship but something about the highly unrealistic possibility that you could be swayed to leave him ruffles his feathers to say the least

i hope no one would be bold enough to try to hit on you WHILE you're with him because he'd immediately get in front of you and confront the guy "who even are you? what do you need to talk to her for?"

sungchan

oh dear lord.... it's not good. like he wont hurt anyone but sometimes wants to. like,,,

ok it depends if you were far away talking to a guy he would immediately come over and wrap his arm around you and goes "who's this." and ur like PLS don’t do anything embarrassing 😳

it’s to the point he does not want to hear about your past relationships (unless it was like a serious conversation) bc it makes his skin crawl thinking about another person touching his girl

he trusts his friends but it will take a bit of convincing to trust your friends. not bc he doesn’t have faith in you he would just get pissed at other people thinking they had a chance

i’m making him sound like a freak but he’s very open and vocal about how he feels and wants to work on it with you - but he’s always gonna be protective like a guard dog

wonbin

he’s like ., quiet possessive (?) he's just like " ur only my baby right?" wants you all to himself, near him as much as possible

jokingly says you can’t watch other groups but is like ..half joking he lowkey doesn’t want you thinking other guys are cooler than him

it really just comes down to the fact that he doesn't want to lose you.

if there was a real situation where someone was like actually flirting with you, he would get soooo sulky. - like comes over to you and puts his hand on your back, smiling at you like everything is fine 🙂( 😐)

but when he hears you say "yes, this is my boyfriend i was telling you about." his chest puffs up and he’s like jumping for joy inside T_T needs extra kisses too afterwards

seunghan

you are his baby and is very clear about it in public . always has his hands on you so it would be insane for someone to hit on you but if he walked away and someone approached u…

hhhhh lowkey gets an attitude … mostly with the other guy like tongue in cheek “is this guy serious…”

honestly kind of confrontational “can i help you? what do you need from my girlfriend?” can be intimidating when he wants to and makes sure people know he is NOT playing around

first makes sure you’re ok and then he’s like “wtf.. do i have to give you an ‘i ♡ my bf’ shirt or smth”

with his and your friends he doesn’t have a problem he trusts you all the way he just gets offended when people don’t get the hint that you’re taken

sohee

surprisingly, gets more jealous than you’d expect like sometimes ur like ???

he really just wants all your attention and if other guys try to take it he’s like . abt to start barking

that being said he trusts you 100% but when you notice his smile is like 10% less bright than usual and you ask what’s wrong he’s like “OHHH nothing -_- i just can’t believe i’m up against the whole city bc you’re so pretty. what am i to do ?”

ur just like 😭my sweet boy !! give him a kiss he’ll be cured and recovers pretty quickly

kind of is one that doesn’t really like you having male friends but he doesn’t want to control you so he’s doing deep breathing exercises if you’re really involved in a conversation with someone that isn’t him.

anton

ohhh sweet sweet anton. honestly ! doesn’t get too jealous

like he gives u your space if you’re talking to another guy but if they start subtly hitting on you he’s like ?

will bring it up to you later when you’re sitting with him like stroking your arm and he’s like “sooooo that guy ..” and ur like oh 🙄that was so annoying. did it upset you? :( and he’s like “um . i mean… well not really it was just weird ..”

will appreciate your reassurance more than he shows you

might be one to be insecure with you around the members just because you would get so close to them he’s like ha…. what if they got even closer … but then he remembers none of you would ever do that then he just hugs you a little tighter

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 173 }

cry for me.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

warnings: dacryphilia; yet another unedited thirst post; more of a thirsty drabble than anything else, hhhhh… please ignore me if you don’t like spicy posts… and minors DO NOT INTERACT.

by choosing to interact with this 18+ content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings.

anonymous said: I just read your jinwoo smut and I—I have no words…Except…It made me think of Jinwoo x someone who cries a lot during sex bc of how good it feels and it just fuels Jinwoo's pride 😈 and proceeds to make them cry until they're so sore they can't make a sound anymore 🤤🤤🤤🤤 thank you for writing ur current oneshot 🧁

jinwoo couldn’t stop himself from chuckling at the mere sight of you, still trapping you beneath him as he slid his cock in and out of your silken walls. a bored expression paints his features, but it was taking him a herculean effort to remain soft and gentle with you-

especially when all he wanted to do was fuck you deep into his sheets.

here you were, so perfect and pretty for him. your lips were parted in what appeared to be a flawless o, crystalline tears falling from your eyes as your gaze met with his shyly. his casual thrusts were enough to make your breasts bounce in response to his movements, causing his full lips to form into a cocky smirk as he cooed down at you.

“what’s this? is my baby crying for me?” he finishes his question with yet another powerful thrust, making you hiccup and gasp as more tears fell from your beautiful eyes.

“tell me- tell your king just why you’re crying so much. is he hurting you…?” a dark chuckle escapes from his lips, leaning down as he harshly bites down against the side of your neck, large hands greedily tracing your figure as he continued to thrust his length in and out of you.

“perhaps your king is too big for your liking? if so… i should probably stop hurting you so much.” jinwoo lets out a mock sigh, already starting to pull out of you when your legs suddenly trapped his waist against you. feeling the way you cling to him with such a desperation makes an even wider grin paint his handsome features.

“no, please! d-don’t leave me…!” your choked moans and whines fill at the air, your hiccups more prominent than ever as the tears steadily began to fall from your eyes again.

“then you need to be honest with me.” jinwoo lets out a feign sound of concern, slotting his cock perfectly inside of your slick core once more until he was fully sheathed within you. “seeing you cry makes me anxious… so you need to tell me if i’m hurting you.”

you vehemently shake your head in response to his words, expression appearing even more shy when you shakily admit to him. “n-no, it’s just… you feel so good that i… i get all teary eyed… i’ve never felt so good before in my life, jinwoo… p-please… don’t ever stop…!”

a surge of pride was felt swelling inside of his chest, the feeling being so potent that it manages to travel all the way down to his groin as he felt himself get even harder in response. with a loud groan of your name, he tosses one of your legs over his shoulder before proceeding to drill himself into you.

“ah, you should have said so sooner, sarang…” he chuckles darkly while pressing a kiss against your ankle. “if you feel so good that it makes you cry- then cry for me.”

taking advantage of his powerful, s-ranked body, jinwoo moves at what seemed like an inhuman pace deep inside of you, earning more of those tears and broken moans from you as he spent the entire night kissing the precious and salty droplets away from your face-

who knew that such pretty tears could be such a turn on for him?

a.n. - don’t perceive me,,,, but omg, i’ve never received nsfw asks in my life 😭 was my first thirst post for jinwoo that good to even warrant such an ask?

i didn’t wish to ignore the ask, but i’m certain some of my followers don’t wish to see such nsfw asks from my readers… so if you sent me stuff and i don’t answer, just know that i’m keeping them to answer them in a more… proper story / drabble for the future (/ω＼)

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[lunicho]

holy fuck gym sex w sungho liiikkkee just thinking abt how strong he probably is and how fucking b r o a d his shoulders are HHHHH the new what?door ep got me fucked up fr i need him omg

send bnd asks to @angeltsan

oh im dizzy,, imagine him being your gym trainer/workout partner. he'd always complement the workout sets you wear, always jumping right into lessons so he doesn't get so distracted by how pretty you are. he helps u out so so much and always makes sure to help you regulate your breathing and everything. he rambles so much on and on about how important it is for you to work out and blah blah so you'd just kiss him to shut him up <3 he'd kiss back so so quickly, like he's been waiting for this. luckily its super late and there's no one around,, maybe he even owns/works at the gym so he's lay u back on a piece of equipment and fuck you, moaning at the way you grip/scratch his shoulders. they're so perfect for supporting u. he also would pick u up and fuck u against the wall if he's really feeling fancy cuz he has a strength kink and loves to show off just how strong he is.

[no-where-new-hero]

omg I need your thoughts on the terminally o line author culture bc ngl it makes my eye TWITCH, there are authors I deliberately avoid even tho I've heard their stuff is good bc they're like that 🙈

HHHHH oh good lord, okay, from how I see it, there are two angles on this, both aggravating and sad: the official decree one and the spontaneous ecosystem one.

The officious one is that the nature of publishing nowadays demands an author have an online presence. You need Twitter/X. You need to let every potential reader know your book is coming out. You need engagement through reviews and pre-orders incentives (if you buy now you’ll get a special keychain!!) and word of mouth assurances from your peers that yes your book is as cool as you say it is. You need a newsletter with links (more buying! more voting on lists that are simply popularity contests!) and promises you’re still working on the next thing, don’t forget about me in the morass of everyone else doing the same thing. You need an Instagram and TikTok now to post pretty pictures and videos because one or two authors made it big off this kind of promotion and now everyone thinks it’s the ticket to the bestseller list (sadly, it seems to be working). You need an OnlyFans (a joke but I do recall a twt spat that was a joke/not joke about how rupi kaur will always be more beautiful than her critics and people who took issue with the conflation of beauty with talent). At the end of all this, you’re basically an influencer, a content creator creating content for the content you should be focusing on creating, the finished novel. And the novel itself seems to be disappearing behind the masks used to promote it (fanfic-style tropes, moodboards, playlists, memes) until I now no longer trust the book that I’ll pick up to have any resemblance to the enticements that brought me here. I’ve seen an author or two complain about the stress all this self-promotion generates, but it’s become such an entrenched part of the industry, I think people just accept it. And thus spend too much time online hoping that if they tweet just a little more, produce just one more reel, maybe that’ll be the difference between a sale and no sale.

The other side of this, distinct but obviously connected, is the ecosystem created by this panic of being perpetually visible coupled with the fact that so many of the new authors came of age during the rise of internet fandom culture. That opinionated community mindset that blurs the line between anonymity and friendship is the lens they bring to their own work. I mean, it makes sense I suppose—if you love yelling about characters and words, why wouldn’t you do that once you start to produce your own? This really came home to me hearing about that reviewbombgate “scandal” and how people involved were in reylo circles and that was used to provide receipts. You’re interacting with your readers and peers about your intimate work but they are also all strangers. They will not always give you the benefit of the doubt, and now—as opposed to the past when maybe the worst that could happen was a handful of bad reviews in newspapers—you will either be tagged in hate reviews, sub-tweeted, explicitly called out, demanded to atone for your sins. It’s no longer the morality of consumption but the morality of production. Of course, the easy answer is just log-off, touch some grass. But that can work only when you and everyone else are separated by anonymous accounts or when you have no platform to maintain. As an author trying to make your livelihood from this, suddenly it’s do or die. We’re in a strange moment of authorship bringing the Internet’s echo-chamber and claustrophobic into the real world (this is a lie: publishing now is no longer the real world. But it looks like it) and thus you can kind of no longer escape things.

Will the average reader who isn’t aware of all these machinations care about reviewbombgate? Would a reader browsing at Target think about the controversies around Lightlark? Very likely not. But the impression I’m getting more and more is that the average reader isn’t the one buying all the books. Or shall we say—a bestseller’s status relies on bookstore stock. Bookstore stock is only huge when they know a book will be a good investment. They’ll only know a book is a good investment if it and its author has street cred based on booktokkers, bookstagram, bloggers and reviewers (have you noticed how many books out these last maybe 1-3 years have these kinds of accounts thanked in the acknowledgments? Yeah), and THESE are also chronically online people who will Know. And decide the cast of fate.

Honestly, @batrachised, I see why you avoid these kinds of writers, though I wonder how long it’ll be before the disease becomes epidemic.

[shreddeddescent]

hhhhh yeah ok just for funsies.....

here's a snippet (its way longer than a snippet its 4000 words) of the worst case scenario story i wrote.

idk how much of the specifics will be canon. but i do think this is such a good blow up that it would be mean to keep it to myself.

maybe im posting it just to be like YEAH OK HERES THE TONE. IF YOURE NOT COMFORTABLE THEN YOU CANT BE HERE...

Warnings for mentions of: CSA rape forced incest uhhhh more probably. nothing shown but much mentioned. possibly warnings for more im not even thinking of. Im sorry just be careful.

Don’t be fucking weird about it to me ok we are in the raw place

so context. shredder kidnapped the boys for days to get what he wanted out of them. implications are clear enough through context i think. lot of drugging. they escaped and killed him (like for real this time) shit is weird and they're handling it as best they can. everyone is aware of this. they've had one therapy session w a weirdly inhuman therapist april found (from her connections in cryptid world) and nobody wants to look their mom in the eye. least of all raph. cuz god does it ever feel bad to know she knows.

the boys seem ok to the naked eye though. hence. this.

--

When they woke up the next morning Mikey had decided to make everyone pancakes. A true feast of flavours after their days of slop.

Donnie and Leo had set the table and let Raph rest at the head of it, he was still wearing Donnie’s old ratty black hoodie, it fit him perfectly. He’d also found some sweatpants, but those only rode up to his mid thigh. It still helped though.

Mikey was making two batches of pancakes, half with chocolate chips and half without, the pickier eaters with the cool mask colours refusing to try something sweet.

The air smelled strongly of bacon, and it was making Raph’s tummy growl loudly.

“Mikey you better hurry up, Raph’s gonna eat his plate!” Leo joked as he pat Raph on the back.

“You can’t hurry perfection!” Mikey whined as he plated some bacon.

“Uuuughhhh Mikey…! I can see the light!” Raph gasped out and reached his arm out above his head, miming his own death.

Mikey huffed and chucked a piece of bacon on his plate.

“To tide you over you big baby.”

Raph gasped and picked it up between his fingers gobbling it down with a loud moan.

“So fucking good Mikey…”

“Oh you’re all up!”

Raph froze, swallowing hard.

His mom was behind him and he was wearing Donnie’s hoodie. He had just moaned Mikey’s name. And his mom was behind him.

He felt Leo hovering over him but he didn’t move.

“Hi mom.” Leo said gently.

“Decided to make a big breakfast?” She wandered over to look at what Mikey was doing at the stove.

Leo put a hand on Raph’s shoulder when she turned and leaned down to enter his eyeline.

Raph stared at him with a panicked expression. Leo looked sympathetic.

“Yeah, we’re all pretty hungry.” Mikey responded.

“You want some help?”

“I got it, it’s almost done anyway.”

Raph was trying like hell not to have a panic attack. Leo put both arms around his shoulders in a loose hug, leaning down to speak in his ear.

“Deep breaths, Raph, it’s just mom. You’re okay.”

He tried to breathe, placing a hand on Leo’s arm. He saw his mom turn and quickly threw Leo’s arms off him.

She stared at him sadly, but tried to smile anyway.

“How are you feeling today Raphael?”

“Hungry.” He answered quickly. “Just really hungry.”

Her smile faltered for a moment, but she tried to keep it up anyway.

“Well, good thing your brother is such a good cook.” She turned to the fridge to grab some juice.

Raph clasped his chest, he didn’t know why it hurt.

Donnie was staring at him with some concern, he looked like he was about to ask him something so Raph just glared at him and held his finger to his lips.

Donnie rolled his eyes and rest his folded arms on the table.

Raph just stared at his empty plate, trying to calm his nerves.

Leo pat him on the back and shook him gently.

“Raphael do you want me to put on some coffee? Or would you like to take a nap later?”

He stared at his empty plate. Caffeine would make his chest worse than it already was.

“No, I'm very awake right now, super okay.” He super fucking wasn’t okay and he didn’t know why.

She turned around to pour a glass of orange juice for herself.

“Enough food for me to join you boys?”

Mikey turned his head to look back at Raph in question.

Raph stared back at him with an anxious look in his eye. He then looked back at his mom.

“Of course you can eat breakfast with us we’re not avoiding you or anything that would be mean!” He tried to make his words sound as playful as he could but he was pretty sure he sounded crazy.

She gave him a puzzled look but smiled anyway, and sat at the other end of the table.

Donnie gave him the most dumbfounded look, shaking his head slightly.

Leo nonchalantly scooted his chair closer to Raph and leaned over the counter.

“So. What did our doctor tell you?”

Raph kicked him under the table but he didn’t react.

She frowned and clasped her hands around her cup, looking down at it.

“She… said a few things. She told me to give you space, but not be too far in case you needed to talk. I’m trying not to worry, but I’m a little surprised that none of you have seeked me out for anything.”

Raph frowned and rubbed his arm, looking away.

“I.. I’m sorry, feels too raw right now..”

“I think anything we need to talk about can be said to the therapist.” Donnie said.

Raph looked up to glare at Donnie for his rudeness, but he’d stood up to help Mikey bring plates of food to the table.

“Which I understand, but I feel out of the loop. You’ve spoken to April. And this doctor. But no one even looked to me for a hug…”

Raph chewed his lip and closed his eyes. He felt horrible.

“Mom, I’m so sorry I just—“

“Because trying to be physically close with anyone right now is hard, mom.” Leo interrupted. Raph thought his tone was too harsh. “We’ve been through hell and we’re just trying to be normal. It’s awkward and it sucks. But it’s hard to add other people to it.”

Raph groaned and shoved him lightly with his shoulder.

“We’re fine, mom. We’re coping.”

She eyed the two of them carefully with her hands clasped in front of her face as Donnie and Mikey placed the plates of pancakes and meats in front of everyone.

She was looking at Raph’s hoodie, she was looking at how close Leo was to him.

He looked away from her so he could pile as many chocolate chip pancakes onto his plate as he could. Leo leaned over him to add some bacon and hash browns to it, knowing he would forget to diversify his plate.

It was not helping.

Raph grumbled and took a big bite of pancakes. He couldn’t help but moan again. “These are so fucking good, Mikey…”

Mikey grinned from his seat near splinter at the corner. He and Donnie had very different plates, his full of all the variety, Donnie sticking to his plain pancakes with nothing on them.

“Thank you! Worth the wait right?” He asked with his mouth full.

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Raph whined dramatically and stuffed his face more. Eating real delicious food after all that gross paste felt so good. He’d never felt so hungry, he was going to overindulge.

“How are you coping?” Splinter asked suddenly between her bites of food.

Raph tensed and looked up at her, gulping back hard.

“Sorry?”

“You said you were fine and coping. So how are you coping?” She looked up at him with a weird look and he needed to look back down. It was making him queasy.

“I.. I don’t know, we’re just hanging out I guess.” He mumbled and picked at his food.

“Is that a new hoodie?”

He tensed and tried to make himself small.

“No, it’s Donnie’s…”

“Hm.” She washed back her food with a chug of juice.

His brothers weren’t as tense as he was, but they did look uneasy by her presence. It wasn’t unusual, he was usually the only one trying to hold conversation, and he had been the one to inadvertently invite her to join them. They all kind of wanted to be alone.

“Mikey? You should have let me help, you seemed to have forgotten the eggs.”

‘She knows she knows she knows she knows!’

Raph slammed his head down on the counter to shut the voice in his head up.

There was a pause. Leo pressed a hand to his back.

“You good..?”

He picked his head up sharply and grunted.

“Never better.” He started scarfing down the pancakes in as big of bites as he could. Maybe he could finish fast and get out of here.

“I… didn’t make eggs cuz our stomachs are a little too empty for eggs…” Mikey mumbled between bites.

‘She knows he’s lying she knows he’s trying to protect you she knows!’

He clenched his fist around his fork and swallowed hard, staring intensely at his plate. He put his free hand under the table to dig his nails into his thigh instead of hurting his head where she could see it.

Unfortunately Leo noticed and grabbed his hand under the counter to stop him. Which she also noticed.

He slapped his hand away and glared at him.

“Leo what are you doing to your brother?!”

Leo snapped his head up to look at her and he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Nothing!”

Raph wished he had hair so he could pull it all out.

“Oh for fucks sake, SPLINTER, we are NOT. FUCKING each other!” Donnie shouted as he suddenly stood up and leaned over the counter.

Raph looked at him in absolute horror.

Splinters eyes went wide and she looked at him angrily.

“What?!”

Donnie growled.

“I can see what you’re doing! You keep eyeing Raph up for being too close to us! You’re assuming the worst!” Donnie gestures to him with one hand without turning his gaze away from splinter. “You’re going to give him ANOTHER panic attack!”

Raph clutched his head in his hands, staring wildly at nothing as he curled his upper body over the counter, facing down at the table.

“Donnie!” He heard Mikey yell as another stool scooted back.

“I-I am not assuming anything!” His mother sounded offended and angry.

“Guys.” Leo said sternly.

“You literally asked him about my hoodie! As if it was the weirdest thing in the world for my traumatized rape victim of a brother to request items of clothing!”

“He’s just never worn anything like that before!”

“Gee Splinter I wonder why!”

“Donnie this isn’t your fight!” Mikey yelled and Raph heard a small smack.

“Someone has to fucking fight for that idiot! Everyone’s fucking dancing around it as if we don’t all know what’s wrong!”

Raph was staring at his plate so hard the colours were burning into his brain.

“No one wants to tell me what’s wrong! Everyone comes home from hell and avoids their mother like the plague! And I am just supposed to not fear the worst?! You have no idea all the things I can smell on you boys!”

“Where was that nose THE FIRST TIME?!” Donnie shouted as it sounded like he slammed both fists on the counter.

“What?!”

He was growling.

“You didn’t smell DAD all over Raph?!”

Raph stood suddenly, hands still clasped over his ears and he didn’t look at anyone, just kept his head facing the ground as he ran out of the room.

He bolted into the bathroom and proceeded to throw up all of the delicious pancakes he’d enjoyed so much. He couldn’t even have one nice thing.

He heard a gentle knock at the open door and didn’t turn away from the bowl.

“I have some water…” Leo said quietly. He made no effort to step inside.

Raph reached his arm back to take the cup without looking.

Leo passed it to him and stayed in the doorway.

Raph kept staring at the bowl, waiting to see if he has anything left before he chugged water and rinsed his mouth out a few times.

“Thanks…” he mumbled as he grabbed toilet paper to wipe his face with.

“Do you want me to sit with you..?”

Raph kept staring at the bowl.

“Yeah…”

Leo walked inside and sat beside him propping up an elbow on his knee.

“Can I rub your back?”

“Why are you asking permission?” Raph looked up at him frustratedly. He was just giving him a sympathetic frown.

“Cuz I think no one is asking how you feel before they decide they know what’s best for you.”

Raph turned back to the bowl, taking in what he meant.

“I… thank you…” he sighed, straightening his back out to look at the back of the toilet. He was pretty sure there was nothing left in him, but he just kind of wanted to sit in this quiet moment away from everyone else. Puke or not.

Leo took it upon himself to flush the toilet for him.

“If it helps, I’m pretty sure Mikey’s gonna chew Donnie’s ear off for that.”

“What does it matter, he’s not wrong.” Raph sighed.

“It was not his place to shout your bullshit at mom.”

Raph turned to look up at him frustrated.

“He’s right though. That’s what hurts.”

Leo frowned and nodded.

“He is, but it’s still not his place to talk over you about you. It’s not moms place to make you feel like shit about yourself when you’re barely holding on. And it’s not Donnie’s place to decide how you tell mom about your own shit.”

Raph looked away, feeling tears coming.

“I was never gonna tell mom. I was… I was literally never ever gonna tell her that…”

Leo scooted closer and leaned his head down to be at eye level with him.

“I get that. We all kinda knew that. I’m sorry Donnie did that to you.”

Raph closed his eyes.

“You can hug me if you want to…”

He felt Leo pull him in to a loose hug from his side, letting him lean his body against his.

“I… I know what Donnie did is fucked but… but I also mean that I was never going to be ABLE to tell mom that…”

Leo hummed and rubbed his shoulder.

“You’re half grateful. Half angry.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah… I know it’s.. it’s my fault for saying it was ok for her to join us but… but god Leo I feel so bad all the time, she seems lonely and sad and I just.. I can’t look at her and think about what she thinks of me…”

“I mean—“

“And don’t just tell me not to worry about what she thinks.”

There was a pause.

“That’s all you were gonna say.” Raph grumbled and pat Leo’s arm. “I hate that nobody ever gets along, and I hate that I’m stuck in the middle of it…”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“It is! I’m tired and I just want people to fucking… I don’t know.. I’m trying to be okay…”

Leo tugged him closer. “You don’t have to be okay, no one expects you to be okay.”

He sighed and pat Leo’s arm. “I wanna go back in there…”

Leo gently let go of him and stood up, holding his hand out to help him up. He then pointed at the sink.

“Maybe one last rinse and spit.”

Raph sighed and leaned over to gargle tap water for a moment before turning and staring up at Leo who gave him a thumbs up.

Leo let him lead the way out of the room.

He was still hearing arguing as he walked towards the kitchen.

“—have any idea how hard this was?!”

“Yes! Because you never shut up about it!”

“Oh that’s kind of you to say!”

“Does it EVER cross your mind how hard WE had it as BABIES?!”

He hovered in the doorway for a moment.

He saw his mother standing on a stool to shout at eye level, Donnie just glaring daggers still in the same spot.

Mikey had his arms folded, the expression on his face looked far older and exhausted than it should have on his sweet face.

“Of course I do! That’s why I needed to get you out of there!”

Raph walked in the kitchen and they all stared at him.

Mikey’s expression softened instantly, he looked worried.

Raph parsed the last thing his mother had said and he turned to look at her, feeling angry for some reason.

“But… you didn’t get us out… I got us out.” He said quietly.

He sensed Leo standing behind him leaning against the door frame.

His mother made a face.

“That’s not fair.” She said as she climbed down of the stool to sit normally. “I found us all a way out, I got us a home.”

“Six years later.” He almost whispered. He wasn’t sure where this was coming from.

Mikey and Donnie were staring at him in awe. Splinter looked offended.

“You know where I—“

“I know where you were. I know why you were gone.” He clenched his fists and took a breath, standing up straight. “I don’t blame you for leaving. Or being gone. I’m sorry. But…” he looked at Mikey, his sweet eyes growing larger. He eyed Donnie, whose guilty look was turning warmer. He looked back at his mother. “But when you were gone bad things happened to us, and no one came to save us.”

Her eyes were watering. It made his water too, so he turned his head to look away.

He sensed Leo step in beside him and felt him grab his hand gently.

Raph looked up at him, he was giving him a gentle smile and nodded at him to continue.

Leo had him.

He looked back at his mom’s tearful eyes.

“I-I know that! And I feel terrible about it every day!”

He gave her a dark glare.

“Did you know dad raped me?”

Her eyes went wide and she didn’t say anything.

He frowned.

“You either didn’t think about how bad we had it, or you knew and didn’t do anything about it. I don’t know which makes me more miserable to think about.”

“Raphael—“

“Stop!” He shouted. She tensed up and he felt guilty instantly, none of them liked a booming voice.

He rubbed his temple with his free hand.

“Stop. We know the therapist was April’s idea. And we know you didn’t let her get one for us before. I understand….” He sighed, “I understand that we were in hiding. That you were scared for us, scared we’d get caught, shipped back there and have the worst thing happen, but… but we could have gotten help years ago! I could have gotten help! I-I shut down mom! I forgot all about it! And you might think that’s good! That makes it all okay cuz I shut it all out but it came back to haunt me!

Tears were falling down his cheeks, he felt so angry and so miserable and so so justified.

“You said… you told me. When you found me you told me you had been watching us! Trying to watch over us right? What… what did you see dad do that finally pushed you over the edge and made you admit you were there?”

She looked so pained, so guilty. He didn’t want to break his stare no matter how much it hurt. He didn’t want to give her a way out.

“Your… the things he wanted to do to you… to your brothers because of you…”

“BECAUSE of me?!” He snatched his hand away from Leo’s to clench both of his fists.

Her tears were free roaming, she balled her fists on the counter.

“Because of how you were born! H-he got opportunity as soon as he found that out! He was going to use them on you! Because of how you were born!”

Raph shook his head dumbfounded, staring at the ground.

“Because of how I was born…” he repeated. “So it’s.. so it’s my fault guys! Because I was born like this!”

“Raphael that’s not what I meant!”

He snapped his head up to glare at her. “Isn’t it?! You just said what caused you to finally warn me was learning about that! How did you even learn that!”

She stared at him for a long while. Crying silently as she tried to find her words.

His muscles were trembling from how tightly wound he felt.

“I… saw you get examined in the lab… I was in the vent, y-you were on the table with your little legs…” she sobbed. “I-I saw what he did… i s-saw you lie there l-like you were asleep…”

Raph felt an icy chill run through his body.

He stood back, staring at her in shock and shaking his head a little.

“You… you saw him do it…”

It wasn’t a question.

Her face answered it anyway. Anguished, guilty, miserable. Sobbing away at the table.

He couldn’t move and she didn’t say anything.

“Mom…” Leo softly whispered beside him.

Donnie kicked his stool over with violent force and marched out of the room.

Mikey was staring at Raph with big wet eyes.

Raph was frozen.

“How… how could you..?” Leo asked her.

She hid her face in her hands, sobbing loudly.

“Y-you couldn’t go back! H-help would have brought attention! You couldn’t go back!” She wailed. “A-and you blocked it all out! What was I supposed to do!!!”

“SOMETHING!!!” Mikey screamed suddenly.

They all turned to look at him. He looked more furious than anyone had ever seen him, pure rage in his eyes, sitting up on the counter with his body hunched over.

He shook his head in utter disbelief and got down off the stool, marching over to Raph and taking his hand.

“We should leave.” He said seriously and tugged on it.

Raph didn’t want to move.

“H-he tried to do the deed himself Raphael! H-he tried to use himself as the donor first! H-how could I tell you that!” She slammed her fists down.

Leo’s hands were on Raph’s shoulders now.

“You… saw dad rape me…”

She kept sobbing.

“I-I couldn’t d-do anything to s-stop him!!”

He shook his head slowly and turned his body to face Leo behind him.

“I… I don’t want to talk to you…” he said softly.

Leo stepped around him to hold him from behind and Mikey tugged him once more.

This time he followed.

And just left her crying alone.

They both walked him into the bedroom and sat him down on their pile of beds, Donnie was already here curled up in the corner crying by himself.

Raph just sat very still, his feet still on the ground. He stared into space as someone put a blanket over him, someone else shut the door.

He couldn’t even cry, he felt emotionally comatose and just stared blankly into the wall.

He felt his brothers grab his hands and squeeze them.

“Raph…?” He thinks it was Leo, he couldn’t see.

A soft chirp came from his other side.

He blinked but didn’t look over.

“I… Don’t wake me up…” he mumbled. “I don’t want to feel this…”

They both went quiet, he sensed movement behind him, and then felt all three brothers hugging him on all sides.

He just kept staring at the wall.

“She watched him rape me…” he said quietly again.

The grips got tighter. Someone was sobbing. It could have been all of them. They just held on to him, and it was the only thing he was going to let himself feel.

“If mom watched him rape me, then that means she let him rape me…”

He kept staring. The grooves between the bricks started to glow from how little he’d moved his eyes.

“And if she let him do that, and then… then all these years she should have known what was wrong with me, right..?”

“Raphie…”

He closed his eyes.

He took a deep breath.

And then he just screamed as loud and long as he could. Until his lungs were fully empty and then some.

Then he finally let himself break down.

[star-fandoms]

SYMPTOMS OF DECEIT SPOILERS BELOW!!

just silly little doodles

HHHHH HIIIIII @symptomsofdeceit I really love your game and have played through it like several times within the past week! I've been wanting to make fanart! I also wanted to draw more abt Rita and Thaumo's relationship, since I feel like she'd be pretty loyal to him, even more so after learning they're childhood friends. istg ur nice to her once and suddenly you can do no wrong tsk tsk

I also love the idea of just a pathetic trio, they're all losers(I say with love and affection <3)

I don't think Rita's mom would actually take her to visit Thaumo again :(

Anyways, love your game, thank you for making it and I'm very excited for your future games as well! Ofc take care of yourself first and foremost🩵🩵

[5lut4ghouls]

Phantom... With wings...

An// this was supposed to be for a discord server, like 15 days ago. I have excellent time management. also i ❤️ non-sexual body worship, that is all this is.

Hhhhh phantom with pretty bat-like wings. Phantom's packmates being just so head over heels for the new summon and his wings.

His wings are so, so pretty. A deep dark purple with the faintest pink tint, about the same length as his arm span. they're so delicate too, far too delicate to fly, and adorned with little scars.

Copia who, despite growing up at the ministry surrounded by ghouls, had never seen such a feature. Copia who is absolutely fascinated. Copia who loves observing phantom's wings. He loves watching the way they react, loves tracing every vein and scar.

Aether who has no shame in complimenting them

Dew who acts like they aren't the prettiest things he's seen, but is often found gently touching them, it's a quick gentle thing, but it's definitely there.

Swiss who loves messing with them, being the little shit he is. He loves raking his claws down them ever so softly, just to watch phantom shiver. He loves tracing his nails over the scars and veins while they are cuddling, it's one of the multi ghoul's favorite pastimes.

Aurora who has always slept the best with phantom's wings around her. Ever since they were kids in the pit. She loves cuddling up to him, chest to chest or back to chest is irrelevant, both are magnificent. The nights in the winter when his wings are surrounding her feel as close to heavenly as the ghoulette will ever get.

Cirrus and sunshine who love rubbing them when the quint can't sleep. A gentle, soothing pass of their sharpened nails across the sensitive flesh. It always seems to put phantom right to sleep.

Cumulus and rain who adore doing all the pampering with the wings. The best part of their day is when phantom allows them to take care of his wings. They adore the little moments spent scrubbing and lotioning the thin flesh or massaging the joint at the base of his wings whilst showering him in praises.

[desceros]

*chin hands at you* you. Me. Warm candlelight. A spaghetti dinner. What's that? The spaghetti dinner is Bayverse Donatello holding reader-chan softly because you're feeling under the weather, whispering sweet nothings as his large, warm hands rub along your back? Yes please, I will have seconds.

-justalotoffanfic 💜

hhhhhh.....hhhhh.......hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh donatello/reader; female reader; rated t

"You look tired."

Warm hands cup the back of your nape. Firm, strong strokes of Donnie's thumb trace either side of your spine, his beak pressing to the crown of your head as he hovers behind you where you're standing at the counter, waiting for your kettle to whistle.

"I'm okay," you protest at first, though you hear the scratch in your throat that betrays even your own voice to your ears; judging from the hum that rumbles in his chest, you know you're busted. "Just a little sore throat, that's all."

A cool hand presses to your forehead, checking your temperature. You close your eyes; it feels good, always, when he touches you. But this quiet love feels even better. How he could, of course, lower his goggles and get a perfect reading of your temperature, but doesn't, because this is more intimate and that's how he likes to be, with you.

"I don't feel a fever," he says, and you hear the click of his goggles sliding into place. Unable to stop yourself, you smile; he hadn't been able to resist being too careful when it's your health after all. "Mm, little tiny bit. Nothing to worry about, though."

You open your mouth to say I told you so, but before you can, his hands grip on your shoulders right where he knows it feels incredible. Lips parted, they do nothing to hold back the embarrassing trill of a moan that comes out, prompting you to slap a hand to your mouth as if you can force it back in.

Donnie just gives a knowing hum to the side of your throat, his plastron pressing to your back as he sidles up close, his fingers pressing and molding your flesh. "You're going to hide them from me?"

"It's—embarrassing," you grit through clenched teeth, though your jaw falls slack when he trails his beak up the side of your throat and presses soft little kisses to your skin there.

"They're pretty," he argues softly, rolling his thumbs down to your shoulder blades, down, down to the sides of your spine where you can never reach yourself just above your bra hooks. "They let me know I'm doing a good job."

"You're doing an incredible job," you gush, palms finding the surface of the counter as your knees go a little weak. He steps in closer, letting his thighs press against the back of yours—not pinning you to the counter so much as just giving you something firm, something solid to rest against.

"Lean on me, sweetheart," he murmurs into your ear, the sound of his tongue rolling over his lips wet in your ear. "Let me take care of you."

It's always easy to give in to Donnie's wishes. You close your eyes, letting him slide his hands down to the hem of your shirt, sliding his palms underneath to stroke long, firm lines along your back. Little swirls of pleasure dance beneath the surface of your skin, one thousand little wakes that result from each tremor he draws forth.

"...Feels good," you slur out, feeling drunk, feeling drugged, only half-feeling the way he unclips your bra so he can press his huge palms to the flat of your back unhindered.

"Good," he responds, his mouth wet at the dip of your shoulder, his teeth gliding over your skin until it sinks into its familiar home at the base of your neck. Gently, just a little, he clamps down, just enough that your thighs squeeze shut and you're tempted, a little, to ask for more.

Before you can, the screaming whistle of your kettle draws you out of the honeyed bubble of his hands. Sulkily, you reach over and turn off the gas, squawking a little when you feel your bra lose beneath your shirt.

"Really, Purple?" you huff, shooting him a raised eyebrow. "C'mon. Do me back up. I've still got a couple more hours of work to get to."

Donnie leans against the counter, folding his arms as you pour yourself yet another pot of tea. Feeling the mischievous energy wafting off of him, you reluctantly meet his gaze.

"I... may have a better proposal for what we could do with it," he says, lips going a little crooked in that dorky grin he always gives when he's looking to eat you out for a while. You feel your blood heat, your skin fluster, and you can see in his eyes he knows he has you.

"Don, no, I have to work—"

"—it'll just take forty five minutes, maybe an hour."

"Donnie!"