#HES ME I AM HIM BRO NO ONE LOVES HIM LIKE I DOOOOO.

[fivenightsatcolumbine]

no one loves george harrison like i do bro.

[snakeeyesdraws]

Overly Analyzing Fortune Street character dialogue (Mario and Luigi)

So I've spent a lot of time browsing Mario wiki pages (organized easy to read information about a current hyperfixation makes for great destressing material) and one of the pages I've been really into is the quotes from Fortune Street (2011)! I've been thinking about talking about and discussing some of the character dialogue from it, since some of them actually have some fun character tidbits, and after seeing this post from pianokantzart (please go check out their stuff!) I decided to go ahead and do so!

Today we'll be focusing on Mario and Luigi's dialogue, and dialogue that involves them! If you would like to view these quotes for yourself, you can do so here and on the character's quote pages. I'll mainly just be highlighting some of the fun ones under the cut!

Mario

"Brr! This ship gives me the creeps! Best to win fast so I don't have to hang out here too long!" (The Ghost Ship)

This is an area-specific dialogue line for the Ghost Ship, and I find the implication that Mario is a bit creeped out by ghosts/haunted places, seeing as Boos/ghosts are an enemy that have notably defeated him numerous times via the Luigi's Mansion series.

"Wow! What a fancy palace! But I still think Peach's Castle is the best…" (Castle Trodain) "Ha ha! I'm gonna do well here. Peach's Castle is like a second home to me!" (Peach's Castle)

Simple but cute!! He thinks of Peach's Castle as a second home and feels safe there!! This is extremely important to me

"Dooo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dooooo! Hey, I love this tune!" (Super Mario Bros.) "Doooo--doo-doo doo-doo-doo! That sure is a catchy tune I've got stuck in my head! Oh, sorry, is it my turn already?"

He also really loves the Super Mario Bros. theme! The theme that is associated most with him and Luigi ;w; I like to imagine he hums its to himself whenever he's working

To Yoshi: "I'll help you find your cookies, Yoshi - just give me a second to brush these cookie crumbs out of my mustache!" Yoshi to player: "Yoshi! Yoshi! (Nice job on that promotion, (player's name)! Here, have some cookies to celebrate!)" Mario's response: "Why no cookies for Mario? Can't I have just one?"

There's also a running theme of him wanting Yoshi's cookies which I think is so funny. The Legendary Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom cannot turn up a tasty snack. Some people seem to push back against the idea that Mario enjoys eating?? But I think it's such a cute characteristic of his (and the fact that he basically admits to Yoshi's face that he swiped his cookies jsadjkkdlsa)

"Not to look a gift Yoshi in the mouth, but I was hoping for more coins..."

Mostly highlighting this one for the substation of "horse" with "Yoshi" in this quote. Fun little world building tidbit of Yoshi's being the Mushroom Kingdom's horses.

After player warps: "Ever get a stomachache when you warp, (player's name)? That happens to me sometimes!"

Even though he presumably uses the warp pipes all the time? Interesting... (side note but because I'm movie brain pilled, you could potentially read into it more here for that verse 👀)

After landing on a Take-a-break square: "Heroes never take the day off! What am I supposed to do with myself - go to the beach?"

Bro that is not a good mindset let yourself take vacations!

"Thank you for your patronage! You're very generous, (player's name)... Just like me!"

There's a lot of playful lines like this from Mario, I like when we get to see his competitive side and how he has a teeny bit of an ego (he's still overall humble and kind, but he knows he's the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom)

After player buying his circus tent: "I can't believe you took over my circus, (player's name)! Didn't you like my fireball show?"

FIREBALL SHOW???? HE PUTS ON A FIREBALL SHOW????? I am desperate for any crumbs of reference to Firebrand (even though he likely used a Fire Flower for this but still)

To Luigi: "Hey Luigi! Stick with me, Bro, and we'll win this one together!" Luigi's response: "You got it, Mario! We'll show (player's name) some real Mario Bros. teamwork!"

To player: "Nice work, (player's name)! But Luigi and I aren't going to give up quite yet!" Luigi's response: "Right you are! The Mario Bros. are just getting warmed up!"

THEM........ 🥺💖 WE LOVE TO SEE THEM WORKING TOGETHER

To player: "Psst! Hey, (player's name)! Princess Peach is watching, so I'm afraid I just can't lose to you today!" Peach's response: "Mario, I heard that! But don't you worry - I'm the one who's going to win!"

Dude is SMITTEN for Peach and it shows. He wants to impress her! I do like that we get to see that Peach is also competitive and playfully rolls with it

To player: "Keep going, (player's name)! It's way too early to give up!" Peach's response: "Hey, Mario-what gives? You seem like you're more concerned about (player's name) than you are about me!"

That said, Peach clearly likes having his attention on her LMAO it reminds me of the scene in Paper Jam where M&L Peach visibly got a bit jealous of Mario getting blushy and flustered over Paper Peach

Bowser to player: "You're in luck! If you beat me, you automatically get to become one of my minions! That's the law around here!" Mario's response: "Don't listen to him, (player's name)! I've beaten him a million times, and I'm no minion!"

Almost all of Bowser's quotes that invoke a response from Mario play out like this; Bowser provokes or taunts the player and Mario immediately snaps back or defends the player. It's fun to see a version of their rivalry here, albeit one in a much more relaxed and lower stakes setting. They will get extremely competitive even when it's just a game for fun

Bowser Jr. to player: "You're just being a big show-off, (player's name)! I'm NOT impressed!" Mario's response: "Don't be jealous, Bowser Jr.! Sure, (player's name) is doing great - but you're not doing bad yourself! Try to stay focused!"

While Mario will do the same if Junior taunts the player, here we can see him being encouraging towards him. It's a cute little moment! I feel like Bowser's Fury enjoyers will like this quote lol

Peach to Mario: "Hmph! Why does (player's name) have all the luck? Mario! I order you to go out and gather me some gold coins!" Mario's response: "Sure thing, Princess Peach! But, umm..how?"

I mean it when I say dude is smitten. One order from the princess and he's ready to drop his competitive streak to go fetch some coins for her LMAO

Toad to player: "I'm impressed with your business acumen, (player's name)! I wish I was more like you… Mario's response: "You can be, Toad! Just keep up the hard work!"

Friendship between Mario and Toad can be so personal, actually... and more encouraging and sweet Mario! Never forget that this man is kind and caring before anything else

To Birdo: "Ouch! Birdo, you're charging me an arm and a mustache! That's precious gold I'm never going to see again!"

AN ARM AND A MUSTACHE HE SAYS............ this man is a DORK

To Bowser Jr.: "I'm surprised you're charging folks so much to shop here, Bowser Jr. ! Just like your daddy, you are!" To Bowser Jr.: "Bowser Jr.! You're just like your daddy. Always getting in my way!"

He'll be encouraging and overall gentler with Junior, but it doesn't change that fact that Junior still gets in his way a lot JADSKK

To Donkey Kong: "Hey, Donkey Kong! Would you mind if I paid you in bananas? Ha ha ha! Oh, I bet you get that joke all the time!" To Donkey Kong: "You sure know how to roll that die, Donkey Kong! Almost as well as you roll a barrel!"

oh my god he's so obnoxious sometimes you KNOW this man is telling dad jokes even if he's not a father. And it's a small hint towards the DK and Mario rivalry that started in the old games!

To Luigi: "Oh, Luigi! Can't you give me a special discount or something? I thought we were the bestest of buddies!"

the bestest of buddies I could cry.... it's a very sweet sentiment, even though clearly it's said in a bit of teasing tone here. I now HC that Mario calls Luigi his bestest buddy whenever he wants something from him

To Peach: "Looks like I need to start picking some flowers for your victory bouquet, Princess Peach!"

THIS. MAN. IS. SMITTEN.

To Waluigi: "I hate to fraternize with my brother's nemesis, but it looks like we're going to have to work together! Let's swap shops, Waluigi!" To Waluigi: "What!? Waluigi's about to win!? I don't think Luigi is going to be too happy about that…"

Interestingly, we get to see the Waluigi / Luigi rivalry acknowledged by someone outside of them. I do like the implication that out of principal, Mario avoids anyone who has beef with Luigi.

Luigi

”Eek! No one told me there would be gh-gh-ghosts here! I wish I'd brought my Poltergust 3000 with me.” (The Ghost Ship)

LUIGI'S MANSION REFERENCE!! An obvious one, but it makes me happy whenever it's referenced regardless

"Leaping lasagna! This place is even bigger than Peach's Castle!" (Castle Trodain) "This place is wackadoodle! It's turning my brain into spaghetti!" (Good Egg Galaxy)

HE DID IT HE SAID THE FOOD JOKE THINGS!!!!

"Looks like my bro really cleaned this place up! I hope they gave him the key to the city!" (Delfino Plaza)

this one is just, so pure and cute???? supportive Luigi confirmed??

To player: "Hey, (player's name)! I'm Luigi! Oh, you've heard of me? I'm so flattered I think I'm blushing!"

This is also so cute and a bit sad - he thinks it's amazing that someone has heard of him enough to know his name outside of just "Mario's little brother"

"This game has got my mustache all mussed up! Where's my little comb?"

Implying he carries a comb with him specifically for brushing and cleaning up his mustache! Which makes total sense, considering these other lines of dialogue from him;

"I take a quick time-out to trim my mustache, and someone buys up almost all the shops! What gives?" "Ack! One shop left? All I did was take a minute to trim my sideburns… I need to stop doing that!" "Who bought up all the shops? Guess I was too busy grooming the 'stache to pay attention to the game…"

A lot of people interpret Luigi as very neat and tidy and almost obsessively keeps himself cleaned, and this dialogue most certainly solidifies that! People pointed out in the recent film that Luigi's hair is also a lot neater than Mario's, which lends to this idea. Apparently more than once he's been so focused on grooming his mustache and hair that he's missed something important lol

"It's not so bad being in second place. As a matter of fact, it feels just right! I wonder why that is…"

Ohhhh buddy,,,,,, the eternal player 2 mood LOL

"One day I'm gonna dominate this district. Then everyone will see who's the real brains behind The Mario Bros.!"

JDSJKASDLDASKLA this is such a sibling quote. Though it is interesting considering many people consider Luigi the more strategic of the two

After player lands on a Take-a-break square: "You've been working so hard lately, (player's name). Promise me you'll take it easy on your day off!"

A lot of characters will gleefully remark that they can advance while you're on a day off when you land on a Take-a-break square, but Luigi seems to genuinely want you to take it easy and I think that's neat

To player: "Did Mario teach you to play this game, (player's name)? 'Cause you've definitely got some sweet moves, just like him!"

CUUUUUUUUUUTE Luigi thinks the world of his brother, so of course if you impress him, he will compare you to him!

After player builds a tax office: "Built yourself a tax office, (player's name)? That was a calculated move! Ha ha ha ha!"

"You got any hobbies, (player's name)? I'm into lots of things: golf, tennis, basketball, beating you at this game…"

DORK I am going to lovingly push him into a locker. This was the blueprint for "You just got a-Luigi'd!"

After building an estate agency: "I bet Princess Daisy'd be really impressed if I owned a few more shops! Help me out, estate agency!"

One of the most favourite moments for Luigi/Daisy enjoyers. Because it really is cute! He just wants to impress her!

Going bankrupt: "Bankrupt!? I'm gonna get laughed right out of the Mushroom Kingdom!"

highlighting this one just because every time I read it all I can think of is "they're beating my ass in the QRTs"

Daisy to player: "If you win, (player's name), maybe I'll invite you on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Sarasaland!" Luigi's response: "Wow, what a prize, (player's name)! I wish I was in your shoes!" Daisy to player: "Yay! You got your salary, (player's name)! I guess that means you'll drop by my shop soon, right?" Luigi's response: "Wow, Princess Daisy! You're good…"

THIS. MAN. IS. ALSO. SMITTEN. I find it so funny that both Mario and Luigi are so head over heels for their respective princess GFs.

Waluigi to player: "Hope you're comfortable in last place, (player's name), 'cause that's where you belong!" Luigi's response: "Knock it off, Waluigi! I'm pretty sure you're the one who belongs in last place!" Waluigi: "Luigi, (player's name)… Is there anyone they DON'T let into this thing?" Luigi's response: "Ha ha! You're one to talk, Waluigi! How did YOU get on the guest list?"

LUIGI, KILL!!!!

More of the Waluigi / Luigi rivalry, and it's interesting to see someone who is usually more timid and soft spoken like Luigi be so confrontational and angry addressing someone who is clearly getting on his nerves. Waluigi seems to be one of the few people who can really push his buttons like that.

Mario to player: "Nice job, (player's name)! You're a real hero - just like Mario!" Luigi's response: "I wish Mario would call me a hero sometime…"

The post I linked before delves a bit more into this, but Luigi has a couple of dialogue lines about wishing Mario would think more highly of him. It doesn't come across as out of spite or disdain; it just reads as a younger sibling wishing he could impress his big brother who he looks up to. But as we all know, Mario clearly thinks the world of Luigi and he even shows it in this game;

Mario to Luigi: "Great job, Bro! Ha ha! You're my hero!"

They care about each other and I will hear NO arguments.

[zjofierose]

gather round, children, and let auntie zjo tell you a story about how to get shit fixed in a relative hurry when you need a hand.

on new year’s morning, about 9 am, mr. zjo and i hear a sudden series of strange and loud thumps that sounded like a bunch of boxes falling on our porch. “the fuck,” we said, and went out to investigate. turns out the gutter on one side of our house had gotten too full of water and assorted debris, had detached from the side of the house, and was now hanging, half still attached, half drooping down into the bushes, and banging against the side of the house in the wind.

“well, shit,” was the general consensus. it’s 9 am on a sunday which is also a holiday, so like, fuckin’ no one was open. also, we were expecting a Real Big Storm in the coming days, so this needed dealt with asap.

so, off to google and yelp it was. we live in a bit of a service desert - professional handy-types like to service north of us (rich people), south of us (also rich people), and the city (rich people, and also high density for a small service area), but they doooon’t super love serving our city, so it’s always a bit of a challenge running down someone who will drive out. but- i called probably 10 likely suspects. of those 10, 5 had working voicemails, so i left messages.

tip 1: always leave a message - even if they don’t call you back, when you follow up, they will already have you in their brain as Someone Who Needs Us. make sure to be very friendly, very polite, and leave as much info as you can. to wit, “hi, my name is ___, it’s 9 am on new year’s day, and i’m looking for someone to fix a gutter which has just fallen off my house! *laughter* i’m sure you all are closed today, since it’s a holiday, and i hope you’re enjoying it! but- if you could give me a call as soon as you get this at (number), i would REALLY appreciate it, thanks so much!”

miracle of miracles, the next morning, jeff at General Services called me. “hey,” he said, “i got your message about a gutter that fell off? have you gotten that fixed yet?” no, jeff, i very much have not. thank you for calling me back! “oh sure, you know, we’re pretty backed up, but you sounded a little urgent.” yes, yes i did, jeff. “but the thing is, we don’t do much other than clean gutters. we don’t have a gutter making machine, so, um, did you need your gutters cleaned?”

tip 2: don’t give up! at this point i could have just said, oh, that sucks, guess you can’t fix my thing, bye. but - people know people, and they usually want to help, you just have to show that you’re invested in getting whatever help you can get, and coach them into telling you how you can get that.

so: oh, jeff, i DO need my gutters cleaned! (i do, definitely, this was not a ploy, lol). that would be amazing, i’d love to get on your schedule for that. (jeff adds me to his schedule for gutter cleaning.) buuuut see the problem right now is that i still have half a gutter hanging from my house, and we’re having a big windstorm. it is, genuinely a hazard. there’s a big piece i’m worried is going to blow off and skewer some poor pedestrian, i just want to be a responsible homeowner and get this taken care of, dooooo you know annnnyyyone who miiiight be able to help me in a hurry? i’m reallllyy concerned. at this point i have shown jeff i’m friendly; i’ve shown him i really appreciate him (and i’m willing to book his services, which i do need), and i do really need help - i’m not just wasting his time, or being over-reactive to a minor problem. “ok,” says jeff, “give me your address, and i’ll drive by and take a look, and see if it’s something we can do. really we just clean gutters, though, so no promises.” thank you jeff, you are my hero.

tip 3: persistence.

jeff, bless him, did not drive by. nor did he call me later that day, or the next morning. so, i called him! hey jeff, my bro, my buddy, my best friend. it’s zjo. we talked yesterday? yeah. yeah, my gutter’s still hanging. yeah, it’s still a hazard. i know you’re SO busy, it’s the holidays, it’s just this storm is coming. what if i send you a pic? then you don’t have to drive over. “ok,” says jeff, “send me a pic. here’s my personal number.” aha! we have progressed. i send jeff a pic. “oh,” says jeff, “yeah, you need a whole new gutter. we don’t do that.” cool bro, i completely understand, but - doooooo you know annnnnyyyyonnee who can heeellp meee plz plz plz.

tip 4: there are secret off-the-books networks of people who do things. generally, there are jobs you want an official company with licensing and contracts to do (construction, electrical stuff, etc) and then there are things that you can get done cheaper and faster if you’re willing to be a little more open. but - they need to know you’re chill before they’ll let you in on this.

“well,” says jeff, “i do know this guy, Jose.” there’s a pause. he’s waiting to see if i’m racist. jeff, my man, jose sounds like a wonderful human, i would be delighted for jose to fix my gutter. “ok,” says jeff, “i can send him the picture and your number if you want, but he wouldn’t be able to do it till after 3, when he’s done with his shift at (other local company). but he has his own gutter extruder, and would do it on his own.” another pause - jeff is waiting to see if i care that this is being done off the books. boy oh boy do i not give two shits. jeff, please send Jose the pic of my completely fucked up gutter, i would be thrilled for him to be in touch with me. “ok,” says jeff, “i’ll send it, and then he’ll call you.”

tip 5: be flexible, as much as you can

so i talk to jose. jose will drive by after three and look, and see what he can do. cool. i go out to run some errands. and then at 1:30, jose texts me - he’s off work early, and can drive by now. shit - i am more than a half hour away. well, the damage is all outside, there’s a gate, but it’s unlocked, and i don’t have outdoor pets - there’s no reason i actually need to be there. so i tell him go ahead, i’m not home, but text me or call if he has any questions.

tip 3 redux: persistence (with a side of follow-up)

i do not hear from jose. i finally text him at like 7 pm to be like, hey, bro, did you drive by and get a look at it? “yes”. lol ok well, at least he’s seen it. but by the next morning (now the 4th, my gutter fell on the 1st, and the storm is predicted to hit that evening), i still have no further info. so i text jose again. hey buddy, just wanted to see if you had a time frame for when you might to be able to fix my guttter? “yes,” says jose, “you have an unusual gutter, and i have to get some parts, so not till next friday. also, it will cost $___” well, fuck. ok, but - (if i don’t even question you on the quoted price) can you please come by today and take down the old bit, please please please, i am truly afraid that the dangling piece is going to fall off and cause real damage to someone/something.

…no response. well, at least we do have a date for getting it replaced, i guess. so, i decide we better do the best we can, and do some semi-ill-advised climbing on the damp side of my house to lash the gutter and the hanging bit-of-gutter to the house as best i can, so they are neither banging against my house nor at risk of detaching and impaling a neighbor, and then go back to watching the game. but then, lo, behold - the doorbell rings at 3:30! it’s jose! and his buddy! and they are going to take down my gutter!! jose, you are my favorite person, thank you SO MUCH, please, tell me how to pay you.

and this is the saga of how, literally 15 minutes before it started fucking pouring buckets, i finally got my very broken gutter pulled down from my house, along with an appointment to get a new one added and to get the rest of the existing ones cleaned. also - now i have both jeff and jose in my phone, and you better believe the next time i need a House Thing, i will ask them first whether they want to handle it or know anyone who does. but truly, the moral of the story here is that the keys to any service-needed interaction are patience, persistence, friendliness, and willingness to scratch their proverbial back in order for them to scratch yours. 10/10 would work with jeff and jose again. (also, literally none of the other places ever called me back, so phew)

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 16.11.20 lb

chanchal interrogating ishani, ki did riddhima spill about what happened that day. ishani like no dice, but imma beat it outta her so help me goddddd.

aryan coming throwing shit around. coz vansh has left everything in his will to dadi. thank fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk. none of you snakes are worth 5000 cr. i mean, ishani is, but idk, maybe not that whole amount at once.

ishani is like THANK THE LORD, VANSH HAD AT LEAST ONE WORKING BRAIN CELL. “kahin uss riddhima ko nominee banaa dete, toh humaare sar par chadhke tandav karti woh.” snort.

chanchal telling aryan ki “vansh ke baad saara business toh tuney hi sambhaalna haina”, and lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo ishani’s face:

i honestly love her the most. MAKE HER THE NEW KING OF THIS EMPIREEEEEEEEEEE. SHE DESERVESSSSSSS IT.

ishani saunters off and chanchal is telling aryan ki anyway dadi ke haath laga hai sab, she’ll write it all to you; coz siya is in a coma, who knows when the fuck she’ll wake up, and ishani is walking talking TNT ka khaaaaan, that’ll blow up any second now. tujhe hi sab milna hai. lol bohut hi zyaada khushfehmi. can’t waitttttt for vihaan (whether he turns out to be vansh or not.......) to come show them thenga.

some parcel came outta nowhere for mummyji and it’s filled with all the stuff of her “long lost son who got kidnapped”. veryyyyyyyy conveniently opened by riddhima.

mummy has started filmfare nom-worthy performance on discovering the relics.

there’s a letter too! basically says i kidnapped your kid for money, but when you didn’t pay up, i threw him in a river. i’m confessing all this coz i’m now dying of cancer and want redemption. sounds to me like someone watched both ‘the prince of egypt’ and ‘badlapur’ in one day and did a mashup of those stories to write this letter.

watch out meryl, viola, jodie.......... mummy has gone beyond filmfare and is now doing OSCAR worthy performance about how she keeps losing kids.

lmao i am aryan, watching this nautanki:

mummy like it’s all coz i neverrrrrrrrrrrr accepted riddhima as a motherrrrrrrrrrr, mujhe maaaf kar dooooo.

of course riddhima’s dumb ass forgave her. god, this chick just tooo easy to scam.

someone’s come to say “final goodbye”. coz he’s taken a transfer. sure.

lmao riddhima is the biggest mood when dealing with an ex who just won’t leave you the fuck alone.

is it just me or has his hair become more........... vansh-y??? like, height-wise.

blah blah he wants to apologize to everyone........... for what exactly? he said he was just doing his job, why to say sorry for that??

lmao ishani has appeared and is ready to kick kabir’s ass. omfg i think this might be my new fav dynamic of this show, ishani v/s kabirrrrrrrrrrr.

RIDDHIMA DOING NOTHING TO STOP HER ALSO, LMAOOOOOO

whole family has appeared and he’s like sorry kehne aaya tha and all and THENNNNNNNNNNN....... NAZAR PADI ON THE TABLE FULL OF ARTIFACTS.

 anupriya like don’t touch my son’s shit and........

“yeh sab mere hain!!!!!!!!!”

hahahahahahahhahahahaha ishani is truly my absolute favourite character of this show from now on.

“maaaaaaaaaaaa?????? iska matlab aap meri maa hain??????” lol bohut hi bhadddda actingggg.

riddhima agrees with ishani.

kabir narrates exact story mummy did like 5 min back.

he’s giving proof ki i know the collar of this uniform has a K behind it and everyone’s shockedddddddddd ki oh god yet another middle class orphan is gonna make their way here

wow the terrible acting from mummy and beta is just.......... peak today. i can’t take it.

my question is, kabir has come to this house and seen anupriya a million times before, it never clicked for him then????? anupriya looks to be baaaarely in her 40s, she wouldn’t have looked much different when she was younger. why didn’t he recognize her then. SOMEONE USE YOUR BRAIN AND ASK HIM THAT. ISHANI, ARYAN, SOMEONE?!!!?!?!

ok ishani didn’t ask that but she’s like that kid was thrown into a river, i’m pretty sure he’s dead. and kabir doing extra naatak ki yes, i was thrown into the river but a policewaala saved me and raised me and that’s why i’m police now.

ugh itnaaa sasta acting lol.

high time this pinky and the brain team up and take the rest of these fuckers downnnnnnnn.

lmao riddhima is soooooooooooooo angry rn. she didn’t even get this mad when her fucking husband paralysed her. that’s just how much petty hatred male exes deserve. the fact that that their bitch ass is even alive and wasting oxygen on the damn planet is fucking unacceptable.

OMFG MUMMY BETA ARE LEGIT WHISPERING INTO EACH OTHER’S EARS WHILE HUGGING, GIVING SHABAASHI ABOUT THIS BRILLIANT PLAN. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. SERIOUSLY, YOU COULDN’T WAIT TILL YOU WERE ALONE???????????????????/

“kamaaaaal ki acting, KAMAAAAL KI ACTING!” lmaoooooooooooo honestly, this show would be fucking unwatchable if not for vishal cheesing it up in every other scene and making it so damn hilarious. kabir played by anyone else would never be this likable. his dialogue delivery of these lines is just A+

lmao he’s hamming some more about how he’s been searching for his mom allllll his life and today he’s leaving the city and finally found her.

LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM HAS A FACE LIKE SOMETHING WITH 8+ LEGS CRAWLED ACROSS THEIR DINNER PLATE. IT’S SO HILARIOUSSSSSSSS.

he’s like mom, come with me, and she’s like “tum yehi ruk jao!” and omfggggggg the reactionsssssssssssss:

“ab yeh bhi yaheen rahega?????” alkjdsalkjdlaskjdlaskj chanchal’s no filter ways really come in handy sometimes.

kabir’s like no no mom will come with me. starts leading her out and dadi is like no anupriya is a part of this family and will not leave. and if you can live here in this house................... riddhima will decide that. lmao this should work out well.

kabir trying to jedi mind trick her.

even ishani is pleading in her mind, please riddhima no kehnaaaaa. aaaaaand....

“haan.” great.

big mood.

lmao booooooo, the amount of shit you get away with just coz you’re so stinkin’ cute. you’re exactly like my asshole cat son. just worming your way into my heart by the power of your adorable faces, you absolute bastardssssssss.

oh of course. she had this conversation with vansh, about if mummy ever found her son, he’d like to welcome him into this family as his brother. sentiment mein aakar haan keh diya. BITCH HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS GONNA TURN OUT TO BE YOUR EX WHO WAS HAATH DHOKE BEHIND HIS GODDAMN LIFE. IF HE DID, HE WOULDN’T HAVE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE PULLING THAT UGLYASS GOLDEN GUN ON HIM AND SHOOTING HIM BETWEEN THE EYES.

this is a sweet scene and all but dude how the fuck am i supposed to overlook the fucking ugly beetlejuice suit. if i never have to see this godforsaken garment ever again, it’d still be too soon.

also jesus, were you a goddamn kid just 10 years ago, COZ HOW ELSE THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A MINION WATERBOTTLE FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD?!!?!?!?!! OH GOD YOU GUYS, IS VANSH JUST 19 YEARS OLD OR SOME SHIT, AND THE BEARD AND THE VOICE THREW US OFF INTO THINKING HE’S 30?!?!?!?!?!!?! OH MY GOD, I FEEL LIKE A PEDO NOW. 28 IS MY LIMIT ON HOW YOUNG I’LL GO FOR WHEN I LUST AFTER SOMEONE.

anyway i’m fwding this scene so that my mind won’t dwell on these horrible possibilities. and that horrible fucking outfit.

lmao riddhima is like kaash tum yahaan hote, tum bhi yehi karte. snort, okaaaay sis.

“tumhari riddhima hoon main. aur hamesha wohi karoongi, jo agar tum hote toh karte.” ok everybody start monitoring your drinks from now on. pata nahi kab kya mila de yeh madam vansh 2.0.

ishani is, how you say................ LOSING IT.

ahahahahahahahahahaha aryan, who's going to town on the punching bag, is like i already picture him here, hence the vigorous mid-day cardio.

“mera toh mann kar raha hai ki main 2-4 jamaa ke aaoon. kabir ko nahi, uss riddhima ko!!!!!!!!” The Biggest Mood, Ever.

“pehle woh bhai ki tarah sochna toh seekh le?!?!?!?” bhai ki tarah chodo, pehle BAS SOCHNA HI SEEKH LE, WOHI BOHUT HAI.

ishani like i’m sureeeeeeeee kabir found out the story about mom’s missing son and now that vansh isn’t here, wormed his way into the house. PRESENTING TO YOU, THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN IN THIS HOUSEEEEEEEEEEE. THE FACT THAT VANSH SLEPT ON HER AS A FUCKING PILLAR TO THIS HOUSE IS FUCKING RUDE.

“yeh sab kuch hua hai uss stuuuuupid riddhima ki wajah se!” that’s what they should call the show.

ew kabir is in riddhima’s room and getting all touchy and LIKE BACK THE FUCK OFF MAN. SERIOUSLY, YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED, NOW GO HANG OUT WITH YOUR MOM ALL DAY LONG, INSTEAD OF ACTING SKEEZY.

yeah riddhima pretty much told him that. threw in some more shit about how she’ll hate him till she dies, coz he’s the reason vansh died.

he doesn’t look happy about that. this fucker still wants herrrrrrr. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. kabir yaaaaaaaaaaaaar, you can do so much bettterrrrrrrrrrr. get yourself an hot evil shawty with 4+ brain cells dude!

she’s dragging him out. nice.

kabir still talking and she’s like do i literally have to kick your ass out?????? damn girl, there’s the spine i like to see.

askljdaslkjslkdjlaskdjlaskdj he’s like main bhi vansh jaisa hoon, iss ghar ka beta hoon. lmao good you said this in front of riddhima and not ishani, warna ***** phaad ke tumhare haath mein de deti.

riddhima also handing it to him, but verbally. but it’s lameass shit like no you’ll never be like vansh, not in 7 janam. like, ok i get she’s really mad at him for what happened, but i don’t get what’s this sudden hatred of his personality?????? she doesn’t know the whole truth and abhi se itni nafrat??? based on what????? 

lmao he muttered “woh toh waqt hi batayega” as he was leaving and she’s like BITCH WHAT YOU SAY?!?!?!?!?!?!

hee hee hee hee. i loveeeeeee when he makes his exasperated faces.

some more sweet talk about how she’ll see his intentions aren’t bad at all, and she’s like justttttttttt gtfo my room man.

"kahin kabir ko yahaan rehne ki permission dekar kuch galat toh nahi kar diya???” LMAO YA THINK?????????????????????/

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaye. finally. aankhein taras gayi thi.

bro refusing more shady work coz “abhi mere paas chote-mote kaamon ke liye time nahi hai. kuch bada plan kar raha hoon.”

mmmmmmmmmmmm baby what that mouth do??????

“vansh ki body ka toh main antim-sanskaar main kar chuka hoon.” ohohohohohohohoho symbolism samajhhh rahe ho aap loggggg???? new identity, who disssssssss waala scene hai.

“riddhima vansh rai singhania, main aa rahaa hoon.”

oh aaja, aha aaja, aha aaajaa, ah ah aaaaja, ah aa aaaja, aha ha aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[luci-cunt]

hello i am here to inquire if you would be down to share a snippet from ur and moony's sherlock & watson, i will take any and all info you feel like sharing

I lvoe you so much also alkjsdfljas;dlfkjasldjfkas;ldkf yes I’d love to give you the deets. A nonnie asked me for snippets too so I’m making this post 2 parts, this one’s details and this one’s snippettttssss <33333

ok so first of all!!!!!!!!!

Sherlock: in this story is “raised rich, with an older sister (Mycroft, yes, she’s a girl now because I say so). There was always a very severe competitiveness pushed on the two of them because Mycroft was more “normal” aka well behaved. They have an interesting, nitpicky relationship since Mycroft is the golden child of the family but they love one another. Mycroft moved out when she graduated high school to go to college and now works as a high class lawyer, running her own firm. Sherlock on the other hand got shipped around boarding schools before he finally turned 18 and bolted. He’s barely a high school graduate and his father all but cut him off, so Sherlock ended up moving in with a really shitting friend/boyfriend kind of?/ fucking around and discovering his unfortunate predilection for heroine and cocaine thanks to his really, really shitty (now)ex.” Also he cannot deal with owing people anything. Like he calculates out how much cereal/ milk he eats at Watson’s house and how much dishsoap Watson uses to wash the dishes and pays him back for every penny of it. 

Physical description: skinny but reasonably tall, has a difficult relationship with food so he’s lanky as fuck. Moony and I described his as “having and knowing that he has a pretty white boy face which gets him punched on multiple occasions. Also the kind of guy that if you were to run into him in a parkinglot at night you’d probably assume he was going to car jack you. Pretty much just feral. 

The Watson boys: grew up in foster care before getting dumped into a boys home where they met their soon to be brothers--Carrie, Kent, John, and Bill--and thir soon to be dad--Carlton. Bill is trans but hasn’t had surgery so when the ppl running the home find out they decide to send him to a girls home instead, and so the four convince local grouchy police chief Carlton Watson to adopt them all (he helped at the home and bonded with all of them so it made some sense at the time). The boys become the “Watson Boys” which is fine except not because Carlton has no idea how to be a dad so Kent (the oldest of the brothers) takes over at age 16ish and is still bitter about it. (Also Carlton pays for Bill’s surgery/ T). The actual age range is Kent is oldest, then Bill and Carrie (who have birthdays that are like, three days apart and they turn it into “twin week” because everyone in the family calls them the “twins”), and then John, but they treat Bill and Carrie like the babies, and Kent and John as the older bros. John’s also the only brother that didn’t go into the police force (at first) instead going into medicine and then teaching before he met Sherlock. Btw Carrie’s full name is “Carrigan” but everyone calls him Carrie. 

John Watson: withdrawn/ tight laced and realistic to a fault. Pretty much willing to go along with the flow as long as the flow isn’t headed straight towards a 300ft drop into sharp rocks (like it almost always is with Sherlock). He’s very, very particular about his space and being independent/ trying very hard not to rely on other people. He’s also the king of denial and will die with his emotions held wayyyyyyyy down in his chest where he can forget about them. He’s also a demisexual king, which means that when he’s not emotionally connected to someone he doesn’t feel any sexual attraction so he has the habit of “forgetting” that he’s gay because he doesn’t feel attraction for long stretches of time because he’s an idiot <3. 

Physical description: Pilipino, with a round face and chubby cheeks, he’s huge, all the Watson boy’s are actually because Carlton was big on boxing, but also because he eats like he’s never going to see another meal and he’s pretty sure all the whole vegitables in the store are poisonous because he grew up in a house full of idiot teenage boys who only ate frozen broccoli because Kent forced them to. 

Mycroft Holmes and Irene Adler-Holmes: Mycroft is Sherlock’s sister, she’s intense and badass and also will show an emotion maybe when she dies. She is a very successful lawyer who started and runs her own law firm. Hobbies include: pissing off Sherlock. Irene is her girlfriend (at the beginning of the story) and wife by the end, she’s basically if Renee and Allison had a child. Very sweet but will kill you if you’re an asshole. Mycroft is insufferably in love. 

Killian McDoug: Sherlock’s really shitty ex, also this universes’ Moriarty.

Anyways that’s a lot of details I’m sorry aksdlfja;sldfkj I’m very excited Moony and I have been talking about this non-stop for like four days straight. The main premise of the story is that Sherlock watches Watson solve a case and falls in love so he follows him from Portland to Seattle and demands he work with him and solve cases together so they dooooo. They end up falling in love and also have to deal with murder and shit but other than that things are great. 

Sherlock is the living embodiment of a disastor gay and Watson is too but in his own way. There’s fake dating, salads, gays, murder, slow burn, idiots to lovers--aka literally the perfect stew how could you not love it? 

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Happy Birthday to Me Pt. 4

And so as if they’d been waiting for the queue, the party got started immediately. Jiang Cheng and Shijie went to the kitchen to get, I assumed, food while half the others started collecting rabbits to bring them up. 

When the other half asked how they could help I playfully suggested “Gifts?”

Then my heart stopped for a second.

Lan Zhan.

Fucking

WINKED

At me!!!

He WINKED!!! And said “Later.”

(Actually it was really impressive. The rest of his face didn’t move. Just the lid. When I wink I look like a pirate that stubbed the toe on their only remaining foot.)

Then he had the audacity to try to get me to sit and relax while everyone else ran around to finish setting up. Mostly there was just kitchen duty and bunny wrangling. We divided the rest of our forces between the two tasks and I raced to collect my daughter. 

“No one touches Suibian! She’s mine!” 

While I scooped up my little girl, Lan Zhan helped A-Ling and A-Yuan collect a couple of bunnies of their own to help. He taught them how to hold them so they’d feel safe and wouldn’t squirm. 

Oh.

That was a new emotion that I’d rather not look at too closely right now. 

But… Oh… 

I never knew he was that good with kids…. 

Oh.

I was distracted by a new form of longing by the look of absolute concentration on A-Yuan’s little face. And A-Ling was toddling just as carefully as he could on his little baby legs. 

Actually I was a bit worried as they approached the stairs, but Jin Zixuan swooped his son up into his arms with the bunny and carried them both up. 

Between all of us, minus Nie Huaisang who I have since learned is very allergic (which actually makes him coming to spend the evening in the bunny-den somehow even nicer which was not lost on me. Thanks. You really are a good friend.), it only took one parade up to the apartment to get all the buns safely tucked away in their little pen in Lan Zhan’s place. 

Gamby and Aunty Yi started making little jibes or something at Lan Zhan based on his expression. I couldn’t really hear what they were saying but I did see how his ears turned a pretty pink. 

DaGe coughed too like he was in on whatever joke they were sharing. Lan Zhan didn’t seem to get it either so I just shrugged and went back to saying my sweet goodbyes to my little girl, telling her to eat her hay and play nice with the other buns. 

She looked up at me and flopped over again. She loves doing that next to me and I die every. Single. Time. She’s SO CUTE.

I heard Lan Xichen saying something about going back so that the Jiangs weren’t kept waiting on us, but then Lan Zhan came back to the part of the room with the bunnies. He started petting them and telling them not to worry. That they’d be back home the next day. That they’d like it there. 

Of course they’d like it there. Wherever you are is the best place in the world. The place you call home could only be paradise. 

I gave Suibian one last pat before I straightened up so I could go to Lan Zhan. I couldn’t resist hugging him again. So I didn’t.

He hugged me back almost as tight as Gamby had. I felt my eyes well again but I pushed it back. 

“I can’t believe you did all this for me,” I admitted. 

“It wasn’t just me,” he said. I could feel his chest vibrate with the deep timbre of his voice. “It began with Jiang Cheng and Huaisang too.” 

I hugged him tighter as I felt another swell of emotion hit me. I was NOT going to cry on his shirt. No.

“Still,” I said. Wonder if he could feel my pout. 

We stayed like that for just a little longer before he said “They’ll be waiting for us.”

Let them wait. 

But he was right. I nodded and let go reluctantly. He called out to me before I could step away though. He moved in that dark quiet to cup my cheek so that he could kiss the other one. 

I can still feel it burning against my cheek. That lingering kiss. If I press my fingers to it and then to my lips I can almost taste him. 

“Happy birthday, Wei Ying,” he said, his voice low and soft. “I hope you’ll enjoy yourself tonight.”

My heart pounded in my throat and managed to force out a laugh. I threw my arms back around him, afraid if I looked at him another moment I’d… 

“I know I will,” I said. I think my voice was steady. I hope it was. I leaned up to kiss his cheek. Fair’s fair. 

He grinned at me. A real grin. My knees just about buckled. I was seriously tempted to suggest we forget about everyone downstairs waiting for us. For a moment all I wanted was to stay in that shadowed room with Lan Zhan’s arms holding me up. 

We did eventually wander downstairs. I’m going to pretend people were staring because it was my birthday and NOT because I’d just spent way longer than necessary alone with Lan Zhan in his apartment while they waited for us. 

I decidedly did NOT see Nie Huaisang waggling his eyebrows at me either. 

At this point the food had all been set up and Shijie was gesturing for me to sit at the head of the table at the ‘place of honor’, whereupon I was granted a beautiful crown constructed from only the finest plastic and the best glitter money could buy! I descended gracefully on my royal throne and declared as their liege that the sweets and snacks were to be distributed evenly to my gracious subjects! None would be left wanting in my kingdom! Why even the court jester was allowed to partake with all his golden peacockyness. And anyone who dared go against this decree would be punished most severely with previously unforetold quantities of chilli pepper oil!

The youngest of my subjects cheered their agreement and practically launched themselves at the sweets the moment the proclamation was completed. 

I piled some delicious morsels onto my plate, all of which smelled as delicious as they looked thanks to my Shijie’s expert hand. (It’s a wonder I’m not rolling from place to place from eating so much of her delicious sweets. Hard to keep this figure after a visit from Shijie. I'll tell you that for nothing.)

As I scooped up my portion of the bounty, Jiang Cheng and Shijie herself came to visit. 

“So you’re coming, right?” Jiang Cheng said with all the clarity and tact of a divine sage. 

“Uh of course I am. To what?” I asked, my mouth stuffed full of a cookie. 

“‘To what?’ he says. Really? My birthday, dumbass.”

And I nearly choked on the cookie. Fortunately Shijie was there to pat my back. 

Okay you have to understand. I haven’t been allowed at one of Jiang Cheng’s or Shijie’s birthdays since I was kicked out. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I gasped once I had successfully dislodged the cookie from my esophagus. “Madam Yu would KILL me!”

“Mother won’t be there this year,” Shijie said, offering me a tissue for my streaming eyes. (After all that time trying NOT to cry it was of course a cookie that did me in.)

“Yeah Dad’s got some press conference to go to or something so Mom’s playing arm candy all night. “ “Bet she loves that,” I said with no small amount of sarcasm. 

“Tsh yeah. I mean she loves being paraded in front of the press.” Jiang Cheng agreed in the same tone as me. 

“I wonder why she didn’t just go for the job herself,” I mused. An old argument. 

“It’s not how it’s done,” Jiang Cheng and I said together. Shijie hid her snicker behind her hand. 

God I miss them. I’m so thankful they tracked me down again. 

“So yeah. Anyway. It’s still a bit to-do because of course it is, but it’d be a lot less stuffy if you were there to stir up some trouble.”

“Aww bro, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!” I cooed as I wrapped my arms around him as obnoxiously as possible. 

“Gitof me! Do I look like your “Lan Zhaan’??”

“Hey! I don’t sound like that!”

“Yes you dooooo. Lan Zhaan ooooh! Lan Zhaaaan. I’m gonna stare at you with gooey eyes until everyone else feels uncomfortable and leaves. What were you two doing up there so long by you--MMPH!”

I covered his mouth with my hand (earning me a disgusting lick uuugh. So gross) because Lan Zhan was walking by with a tray of something. 

So to pretend my little brat of a brother wasn’t singing about my crush to the class I focused on what said crush was holding only to be actually distracted when I realized what I was looking at.

A huge tray FULL of Emperor’s Smile!!!

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x14 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)  good night babe

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13

Giulia: Splash

14x14 Ouroboros

Zee: Can’t relive this. With Jack

Nat: I cry

Zee&Giu: I believe in us

Nat: Fuck this

Giulia: Ok sam

Zee: I do believe in us

Giulia: I ain’t got enough coffee in my blood

Zee: The end?? How dare he?

AAAND HERE WE ARE

[ Retro French pop music plays ] IS THIS A THING NOW?

Nat: Uhh...Mexico, Ellaaaa

Zee: Giuls, thoughts??

I see no wrongdoing here. The pasta is being dump into the water while it’s boiling. Garlic! YUM. That looks like too much sauce for that much pa- let’s be honest here, once can never be have too much sauce who cares. Ok I see olive oil, yellow bell pepper ( which is the best one ok) , garlic, onions, zucchini, and I think there’s parmigian cheese and *disgusted sound* cilantro, and a body....

Nat: Well, isn't that tasty

Giulia: ...I’M HUNGRY

Zee: Strike that

Nat: Fresh liver

Giulia: THE CILANTRO GUYS ! YUCK

[SIZZLES]

Nat: NO

Oh he’s making like fried liver, that was not cheese but grated bread ok ok I see you THAT LOOKS TASTY( you forgot the flour tho ok)

Nat: I'm more grossed out by the liver than the snake

Zee: Excuse me while I barf

Theeeey’re HEEEEEERE

Nat: Ohhh... babes

Zee: Shut. The. Fuck. Up

Giulia: those look tasty too

Creepy motherfucker , who is weirdly making me tingling with his cooking skill, : time to go Felix.

Giulia&Nat: A SNACK FOR LATER

Giulia: I WISH

Nat: NO How about no, He just left his meal cooking. Could burn the house down

Giulia: yeah real rude. Killing people and burning houses down

Nat: Mmmhh...snack

Giulia: Omg Jack’s plaid coat. Jack has amazing coats game y’all.

Nat: snacks

Zee: Three of them

oh...now they are all 4 of them ?

Nat: all of them,  well, no except one

Zee: Jack is a baby

Dean has a surprisingly soft steps. 

C: Oh no

I know Cass baby, that bitch fucked up a perfectly good pasta that’s what he did.

Giulia: Dean is us

D: Yeah who just let themselves be eaten?

Giulia: I’d let myself be eaten by you 

D: My money is on witchcraft.

R: Och, you, always blaming witches

D: Cause a lot of times is witches

Rowena basically : I was minding my glorious business when you whiny bitches called to beg for my help

D: Well we’ve been chasing this guy for weeks. What’s your point

Nat: Awww...Deano calm yo tits

Nat: Dean tossing things is my kink

Zee: Kinks again Nat?

Nat: Can you blame me? I'm FINE

Giulia: Hello castiel

R: Not enough Pantera posters for one.

Dean looking almost amused

Giulia: Coughing jack is my (1) fear

Jack: I’m fINe , I’M NoT dYinG . 

Nat: yeah, right, Jack

Nat: Dean..please!

R: Darling boy, everything means something.

Giulia: Be a dear and bring the snakeskin

Sam and Rowena research date night

R: You say [high pitched voice] ‘oh it’s just some magic and you think I’d leave it at that?’

Nat: Ahh..Sam puffing his chest

R: I’m more curious about how your brother is managing to keep an archangel locked away inside his mind.

S: Because....he’s Dean [read this as Batman]

Giulia&Zee: Dean is dean

Zee&Giulia: He’s fine

Nat: DEAN IS NOT FINE

Zee: Giuls. Shut up

Giulia: Zee 🖕🏻

DATE NIGHT!!

Look at them HAAAAANDS cradling the mug.

D: You know, I got to say, I got a pretty good feeling about bringing Rowena in on this one. I think her and Sam have a chance of cracking it.

me: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

C: They do have many books.

D: Yes, they do.

Zee: Worried husband

C: Hey Dean...

D: I’m fine....

ok ok ok ...I ADORE this shot! you’ll see this often in my feed , just fyi

C: What you're doing, even just sitting here and having a cup of coffee, is a Herculean feat. I can't imagine the willpower

Giulia: hey dean. Oh how I adore how he talks  

WHAT IS THAT LOOK DEAN

[Jack dying in the bathroom]

Giulia: JACK STOP FUCKING COUGHING

[Jack spitting blood] 

me : *stares in the distance, lost in my ptsd vietnam episode*

Zee: Are you really fine?

Nat: NO OF COURSE HE ISN'T

Cas is like.... DONT U LIE TO ME, i have no right to tell you this because of a recent stupid thing I did but DON’T LIE TO MY FACE

WHAT IS THIS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOK 

Zee: That’s what I’m supposed to say

D: ...That’s what we all say

Dean’s like.... yeah ok he can read right through me.

[ starting operation ‘ let’s lower our walls’ in 3....]

[....2......]

[......1...]

Giulia: Still even more convinced that they will use michael grace on jack

Giulia: Those eye lines are ruining me

D: There's this pounding in my head. It never stops. 

Castiel’s face:

D:  Michael's in there, and he is fighting hard to get out.

D: And I can't let my guard down... not for a second.

Me: I’ll cheer to that bro

C:  Well, that is not sustainable.

Giulia: THIS SHOW IS NOT SUSTAINABLE

D: ....It's on me.

Nat: IT'S NOT FUCKING ON YOU 

C: We are here to help you.

me: *SOBS*

D: I know that, and I appreciate that. I do.

[JACK STILL DYING IN THE BATHROOM]

Nat: fuck this

Zee: That kid is gonna die in the fucking bathroom

Giulia: U FUCKER STOP

Nat: IF... IF.... IF

D: If you don’t ....

THIS LOOKS ARE KILLING ME

D: We still have plan B

Nat: Fuck plan B

Giulia: NO ONE LIKES PLAN B

Zee: Coffin Ocean Done

Nat: NOT even plan B likes Plan B

Jack’s like : yo you finished with the eye fucking and feelings sharing so I don’t feel embarrassed by you two in public? 

Castiel’s like : I’m out with two problematic kids who don’t tell me nothing

Nat: EVERYBODY'S FINE

Dean:

Giulia: We are fiNe

C: Okay, um...these killings -- it seems like there's a ritualistic quality to the crime scenes, right? It's almost liturgical.

Zee: Greek there for ya

Giulia: thank you Mr.Portokalos 

D: Ah yeah. See that one I knew.

Dean...you cute fucker I swear

J: Anyone who could do this is a monster...I mean, even if they're human.

D: Looks like Sam and Rowena have something

Nat: Sam and Rowena have something wink wink

THEY DOOOOO ? (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

D: This is like an A.V. Club presentation.

Giulia: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

J: What's an A.V. Club?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

C: It's a special group for people who do not play sports.

Giulia: I love the av club, where do I sign in?

Dean points at Cas “He’s the av club” [insert Oprah gif]

Giulia: IM DEAD

also how does Cas knows that? was that included in Metatron’s pop culture packet?

Nat: Of course he'll know

Zee: Jack is precious

R: Excuse me, boys, but this is a bit more pressing than your hilarious banter.

Excuse me Rowena , nothing is more pressing than their hilarious banter

CAS WHAT ARE U DOING , CONTROL YOUR EYEBROW

Giulia: clash of the titans. (Not gonna lie, I almost wrote clash of the tits). Just fyi

Zee&Nat: Of course you did

R: You know about Medusa?.

I’m sorry but....everyone knows about Medusa.  Ok ok this was mainly for the giggles and all because, you bet your ass that Dean would know who the fuck Medusa was, STOP MAKING DEAN THIS DUMB WHEN IT’S NOT REALISTIC.

Giulia: How caffeine is working

Nat: Because why else should the writers write this episode

Nat: Definitely...anything you want. Get on your knee. lol

Giulia: ...ooooh i can smell all the meta from here

Nat: They all gay for dick

Well Nat I guess….I mean... ...well that’s...that’s the goal

Giulia: U would all be gay for them

Nat: you not wrong

Giulia: MMMMMM

Nat: UHHHH FBI FBI

Zee: Fucking hell

Giulia: FBI FBI FBI

Nat&Giula: IS THIS AMUSING TO YOU?

Now turned on and scared Guy : No SIR

Cas: 

yeah that’s right call me Sir

Nat: Psycho penpal

Y’all my psycho text pals tho

Nat: you're not his type

Giulia: BITCH IM EVERYBODY’s TYPE

R:For the record, I don't love being included on his little hit list.

S: Apparently he can’t see angels

J: I’m not an angel

D: Close enough

C: So, if Jack and I approach Noah on our own, we -- we may surprise him.

Giulia: ABORT I DON T LIKE THAT PLAN

Zee: Happily surprised moose

Giulia: i’d get sloppy....( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zee: I’m here for Sam’s short shirt

I’m here for them short of clothes 

R: I HAVE A PLAN

Giulia: WEE DOGGIE

Nat: OMG

Giulia: IS THAT JACK

Nat: THAT DOG IS SO SMALL IN SAM'S ARM

S: We -- We think he might have eaten something.

R: "We think"? "We think"? He means that it's my fault for not keeping an eye on the poor dear. He thinks that everything is my fault.

S: Can we not fight in front of the vet?

S: I mean, I guess it's not entirely your fault that you looked away!

R: He blames me for everything! I let his mother ride the Jet Ski one time!

WHAT IS THIS? AM I DEAD AND IN FANFIC TROPES PARADISE?

Nat: Wee Jackie Boy

Giulia: I CAN T

Zee: Sam got a dog and it’s his “son”

S: What are you doing?

R: Oh, I mean, I realize it's not...[Deep voice ]...pretending to be the FBI. [Normal voice] But there are other ways of doing things, Samuel. Plus...I thought my performance was quite magnificent.

Giulia: I NEED THOSE TWO TO FUCK 

Zee: The thermometer

Giulia: i bet he liked being a dog 

Giulia: *seeing just now Zee’s thermometer text*  THIS IS HORRIBLE TIMING

Nat: Did Jack just get something in his ass for this

Nat: YES

Zee: SO YES

J: Just wish I could've got it before she took my temperature.

Giulia: ...he took one for the team.

R: Oh, uh, a moment, Samuel. What did you do to that boy?

R: It's volatile magic, powerful, and it's stitched to him like some kind of parasite.I was curious before, but now I am worried, so I'll ask you again, Sam What did you do?

I can’t believe Rowena is lecturing Sam, and being right too

R: using dangerous, mysterious magic, regardless of the cost, that's a very on-brand me thing to do.

Nat: She's still so much shorter than him standing on the curb

Zee: Everyone is shorter than him

R: Of course, Samuel. Until very recently, I was the villain.

So I ordered this SamWitch extra spicy I guess.

Giulia: I REALLY NEED THOSE TWO TO GET IT OUT OF THEIR SYSTEM

Meanwhile scarred Jack :

Nat: That guy is creepy

Giulia: He’s so flamboyant loves every minute of it

Zee: That gorgon is a total bitch

Noah: "Helpless men" -- that's rich. No, I do eat ladies, too, but women have become so cautious lately. Must be all that finally waking up from centuries of misogynistic oppression. Good for them. Bad for you.

Nat: Ok but I like that

D: But if we cut off their head, then is more creatures gonna crawl out?

Ok but ...hey...legit question

....sam...

SAM

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

knock first , kick doors later

Zee: Enter the angel of the lord

Noah a bit turned on and scared

Nat: does he do anything else

Nat: NO fair

Noah : demi-god actually

Zee: I’m a lover not a fighter

Nat: THEN LOVE HIM

Giulia: I DON'T LIKE THIS STORY

Nat: Slapping

Zee: Oh he didn’t

Nat: NO cas

#mood  #same

Nat: wHAT

Giulia: NO , WHAT

Zee: Real pleasure

Giulia: OH SAMMY IS HANGRY

Zee: Why is he kicking their asses?

Giulia: Stop making him bump his head

Nat: MICHAEL CAN GET OUT

Zee: Fuck yeah

Giulia: YAS JACK BABY

Zee: My baby is hurt

Giulia: ALL MY BABIES ARE HURT

Zee: Swallow Cas

Zee dON’T BE NASTY

Giulia: OH CAS KNOWS

Nat: I can't even see

this is painful 

Zee: Look how precious jack is

Nat: Dean's still too tall for the bed

Giulia: IM ANXIOUS . CAS IS ANGRY

Nat: POOR JACK THO?

Sam asking Rowena what to do is making me weak.

JESUS

Giulia: GOD DAMN IT. I CHOKED . that was scary

Nat: that's what she said

Nat: Cas wants to make up for it

Giulia: THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING

[VIDEO] because I’m a sucker for these moments and you need to appreciate them more.

Giulia: We do too Jack

Zee: Special humans

Nat: sometimes we forget that too

Zee: Humans burn bright

Giulia: They are still human

Giulia: For a very brief time

Zee: He have to carry on

Nat: WE WILL NOT CARRY ON

Giulia: DAMN CAS

Nat: wHAT'S THE POINT

Nat: Jack has it right

Giulia: JACK IS RIGHT

Zee: It will hurt

Nat: Stop talking like that CAs

This scene is one of the best one , I can’t 

Nat: CASSSSSSSSS

Zee: Can Cas shut up already?

Giulia: IM CRYING

Giulia: MY GOD CAS

Nat: Jack calm yo tits

Giulia: JACK STOP SPIRALLING

Giulia: He s keeping the snake . LUCIFER SON IS KEEPING THE SNAKE. I DON T LIKE IT

OH....SOMEONE IS AWAKE

Nat: NO . WHAT STOP

Giulia: what is th

Zee: He woke up alright

 I KNOW WHERE I AM

Giulia: The screaming

Zee: He out

Nat: He's gone?

Giulia: OH NO. I DON T TRUST IT

Nat: NO

Giulia: DEAN DON’T PANIC

Giulia: OH SHIT

Nat: WHAT IS GOING ON

Giulia: OH FUCK

Nat: WELP MAGGIE IS GONE

Giulia: FUCK

Nat: WHAT THE FUCK

Giulia: DEAN BREATHE

Zee: Shut the fuck up

Nat: SHIT

Giulia: OH SHIT

Nat: DO YOU STILL WANT THEM TO BONE?

Nat: Michael!Rowena x Sam

Giulia: NOT NOW NAT!

Nat: SHUT UP NAT

Giulia: SHUT UP NAT .i can t watch this

Nat: Always taunting him. "come on sam, you can go harder than that, boy" .OH GOD SHUT UP NAT

Nat: FUCK YOU MICHAEL I HATE HIM SO MUCH

Zee: I fucking love him

M: It didn’t work out. It was him, not me.

Michael making promises.....DOESN’T WORK.

R: I’ll live either way

Zee: Sam is gonna off me

R: ..which makes dinner a little awkard

Giulia: GUYS I CAN T WATCH THIS

Nat: Fuck this

Nat: I'M HURT

Giulia: IM HURTING

Nat: how can americans watch it with commercial breaks?

M: Burning off your soul? You'll run out soon enough.

Giulia: i have no idea what to do

Giulia: How dare u

M: I am the commander of the host!   I am the cleanser of worlds!  I will not be challenged by a child!

You are a drama queen , that’s what you are

Nat: Of course

J: I'm not a child! I'm the son of Lucifer. I'm a Hunter. I am a Winchester!

Giulia: JACK

Zee&Nat: I am a Winchester

Nat: OH did he just swallowed Michael's grace

nat doN’T BE NASTY

Giulia: JACK IS GOING IN THAT BOX JACK IS SO GOING IN THAT BOX

J: Michael is dead

I don’t trust it

Nat: OH WINGS

Nat: I'm confused

Giulia: I DON T LIKE THIS

[after credits comments]

Giulia: PROMO. NOW

Giulia: AHAHAHA

Zee: What??!!

Giulia: NEXT EP IS GONNA BE FUN

Nat: I'm confused

Nat: Someone hold me

Zee: There there pats your back

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EP. IT JUST HURT ALL THE TIME .i’m sweating

Nat: I have no idea and I didn't like it

Zee: Hello. Are you new to SPN ?

Nat: What Michael is dead? Are we supposed to believe that?

Zee: No

Giulia: Jack worries me tho. And ya know the last ep of the season is called “Jack in the box”

Zee: Don’t go there

Giulia: How I cannot

Zee: Don’t know. Just don’t

Giulia: FUCK EVERYTHING THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER AND IM STILL ON IT

Zee: You’ll never get off

Giulia: That what he said

Zee: Stop it

Giulia: Fuck u all

And fuck spn

And dean

And sam

And cas

And fucking jack

I can t

*throw tables out the window*

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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