#HERE IA M WRITING INSTEAD OF DOING AN ESSAY

[toukenramblings]

Reach

@hizentadahiro​

Wanted to scream about Nankai-sensei and Luci made this~!!! Is this romantic? Maybe? idk, i think it’s just me pining

Chouson was always distant, a man you could never reach, his mind drifting off to whatever world awaited him in his next tome.

You’ve always wanted to touch him though, to see what made his mind tick – what oils his gears and makes them turn.

But alas, again and again do you find his nose buried within the fantastical worlds that awaited him within the bound spines of leather and parchment. You almost wanted to burn the library down, you won’t of course, and it would be a crime against humanity itself. “Did you need something?”

Your body jolts, a scream tearing itself from your mouth – clamping your hands over your lips, eyes wide. The bespectacled man quirks a brow from behind his latest novel, and you can see the corners of a smirk dancing upon his expression.

“This is a library, master, you must be quiet.” His chuckle could be heard throughout the quiet cranny of the library. “What are you doing?” “N-Nothing!” you gasp out, cheeks aflame, beginning to back away from the glasses-wielding man. “I-I just…wanted to come here. Why? Am I not allowed?” in your own citadel?!

Nankaitarou only lets out a small chuckle, his coat cloaking his shoulders, shielding him from the air conditioner’s oh so frigid harshness. He slightly opens his arms, opening a space up under his jacket. “Would you like to join me?”

Your sputter and stutter an answer, heart pounding in your chest. “C-Can I?”

“Of course.” Chouson answers, a mirthful smile to his face. “I do appreciate your company.” Slowly does you slide beside him, right under the warmth and glance down at the pages he had been reading, your brows furrowing as you attempted to make heads or tails of it.

But why would such a thing matter, when such a beautiful man is in your reach, right now? Right then and there?

[thehumannetworkhi]

day 5/85. tuesday 5/21/19.

(1) eat in a calorie deficit (1300), (2) be hydrated, (3) exercise, (4) curb snacking

ooh new focus 💡could even be sleep hygiene and establishing a bedtime routine.. hm will think about this more and do it when the time is better. no need to do everything at once. 

breakfast - starbucks croissant, cake pop, small vanilla latte

lunch - chicken tenders, fries, bread, sauce

dinner - fruit chaat, 2 pakoras

snack - coffee shake with m&ms

exercise - 30 minutes walking. I almost didn’t go this morning. Keep moving forward. I also actually did three sets of 20s plank, 10 push ups, 10 sit ups! Didn’t need to or plan to but did! The people at the Y are really nice and supportive I feel. A great environment and the view from the treadmills is beautiful.

multivitamin - yes taken

total glasses of water - as of 5p, only 3 small glasses so far. now have totaled about 5-6, which is almost the same as yesterday.

as of 3p, already over my calorie limit. Was over the limit yesterday. Drink water today. Focus on meeting the calorie deficit tomorrow. Remember, the path will get clearer the further you walk along it. This is only day 2 of exercising, and day 5 of this whole experiment. Keep going.

end of day, i ate a very unhealthy lunch, but what was interesting was that after I had such a filling lunch, I felt no impulse to really snack (besides getting coffee which was more so rooted in this low-energy-slump which my body has gotten into the habit of ‘curing’ with coffee shakes). i also had starbucks for breakfast this morning - i remember thinking that like life was short and i wanted to enjoy it (lol yolo). it’s okay it happens. keep moving forward. this is a process, a lifelong one. we keep pushing.

also i remember seeing a post on here a while ago which said to let go of the oft-upheld notion that there’s never a perfect time to start something. shift the mentality to recognize instead that there are better windows, there are better periods in life to take on certain challenges. i can’t imagine having taken on reclaiming my nutrition and physical health while i was still in school. i have the summer now off school to focus on this and hopefully turn it into more of a second-nature thing. so that when school starts and things get stressful again, i���ll have reoriented my stress-induced fallbacks into healthier snacks and healthier ways to cope. 

speaking of reclaiming my health, i realized how much of a nErD i am (quirky!) when i decided to print off some research papers that share some insight into curbing cravings. i like the ones i found because they focus on the psychological and social side to cravings and share how we may be able to reframe our thoughts to better support our selves in our daily lives. excited to read them. this is a lifestyle, a lifelong commitment. i’ll slip up (already have and likely will tomorrow) but we reset our intentions, reframe our thoughts, and restructure our lifestyles as much as we need to, all for the aim of continuing on this path to clarity and betterment. 

💡these papers are: “Piece of Cake: cognitive reappraisal of food craving,” “From lab to clinic: Extinction of cued cravings to reduce overeating,” and “Food Choice and Nutrition: A Social Psychological Perspective.” I’m especially excited for the last one.

so glad ive been reading more this past week. what i need to remember to do is make gifts and write letters for professors and send them out, and then also work on this capstone essay. i haven’t contacted my mentor in a while, i’m not sure what he’ll be expecting. just something good. it’ll be fine. just need to work on it and put the time and effort in. will plan on doing this thursday morning at the library iA. 

ooh also my sleep hygiene definitely is not clean or healthy at all, i’m glad i made note of that last night, def will be something to work on soon.