#HE'S SO FUCKING PATHETIC

[keithbutgay]

Just let him have his Sixer!

[rocksandmirrors]

this post was so Mattycore i had to draw it

bonus:

[sassyfever]

Every new chapter that comes out I'm beginning to love afo more and more

[littledevilswaltz]

I have never understood people's fondness for pathetic characters in fiction until I started re-reading Skulduggery Pleasant and remembered that Vaurien Scapegrace exists.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SKULDUGGERY BOOK 2 (also spoilers for Avengers Endgame and JJK)

Chapter 1: Skulduggery and Valkyrie meet Scapegrace, don't take him seriously, kick his ass, and arrest him. The final paragraph:

Chapter 15: Scapegrace (SG), in POV, witnesses Skulduggery kill Valkyrie because the Tormentor ask him to in exchange for information.

Ncwaaa, you wanna be a serial killer? Bully for you! You follow your dreams, man! Don't let the scary skeleton man and 13-year-old girl stop you!

As a man who almost cries a lot from frustration, this is the representation I need😂Just imagine if any other Villain was written like that?

Endgame

Thanos gets bested by the avengers. Hobbles over into the fetal position and sobs.

Tony: I....

Thor: Is he really just....????

Steve: Yeah, um... I guess?????

JJK

Sukuna gets hit by Yuji's soul punches: Hey, that hurt! *Viciously fighting back tears with puffy eyes and sniffles*

Yuji: Hello????

Megumi *takes back over*: King of curses my ass, how did I let this dude take over my body???

I love Scapegrace being the most unserious gag Villain I've ever read. Please send me other books/series/movies with characters like this. I need more pathetic villains😂😂😂

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[silent-t0n]

The only "military parade" I'd approve for Drumpf is one where a tank runs him over

[erosmutt]

SAM COMING CLEAN TO READER THAT HE'S SELF MEDICATING/IS A JUNKIE. and being all sad and pathetic and scared she is gonna leave him! Stoooooooop i have a savior complex and also want him to cry fuck me

-exam girlie

i was JUST writing sam and dealer!reader, oh gosh. as you wish! <3 (had to add a line break bc it's kinda long, not proofread oops)

𖦹 drug mention, whiny crybaby sam, he is such a good boy and eager to please, angst, make up sex ig, reader is NAWT happy! ⠀★⠀⠀─⠀⠀WRITTEN BY EROSMUTT 24.04.08

𖦹 accompanied by Great Big White World ⋆ Marilyn Manson

"just- hear me out, okay?" Sam asks, rubbing his arms up and down while he paces your living room. you lean back into the couch, "i'm listening." this was the first time you'd seen him in a week. he was hospitalized after taking a speedball with Corey and Josh.

"i... i've been- it's 'cause-" he groans in frustration, tangling his hands in his hair and tugging. you watch, letting him do his thing. "i just.." he once again trails off, then sniffles. his voice wavers too - was he crying? you'd never seen sam cry. not once. ever.

he comes over and plops down onto the couch, elbows resting on his knees. he was going through a withdrawal - his eyes were bloodshot, he was shaking uncontrollably, and he looked like he hadn't slept in eons.

"i know you're gonna be mad at me, okay? i already know!" he whines. you sigh. "Sam, just tell me, alright?" you were getting sick of him beating around the bush. he always did this shit - whines and stomps his feet and flaps his sweater paws and shifts his weight and shimmies around and pouts. and you ate it up every time. because he was your boyfriend. and it was adorable.

his hand comes up to fiddle with his labret. "i use..." he murmurs softly, and you can't do much but blink at him. you knew he smoked weed, but hard drugs? then you're filled with irritation.

"Corey and Josh did this, didn't they? put you up to this?" you stand, and cross your arms. Sam immediately follows suit, now looking down at you. "wait! wait, listen okay?! you gotta listen, please!" he takes a shaky breath. "i- you don't understand! please, listen- don't leave me, don't leave me, please."

you just stare up at him. "you lied to me, Sam." he huffs and stomps his foot like an angry bunny, squirming around. "i didn't!" "you did! you told me you weren't going to get into any trouble with them, Sam!"

the look in your eyes made him want to cry. you were pissed, and it was all his fault. everything was always all his fault, wasn't it?

"just forget it!" he yells, tears spilling down his cheeks. "you never listen to me! never! you're just like my parents!" and that really pissed you off. in a swift motion, you reach up and grip his face, making him look down at you. "i never listen to you, Sam? who's always been there for you, huh? who's always supported you? let you stay over when you run away from home, when you need someone to talk to because your parents don't want to be bothered? huh? but i don't listen? i don't care?"

oh he most definitely fucked up. you were completely right - he went to you for every damn thing. every minor inconvenience, and you always entertained him and helped with whatever it was. his shoelace was knotted? you got it undone for him. he wanted you to do his homework because he was busy getting high? you did it. and he had the nerve to imply you didn't give a fuck about him.

"wait!" Sam cries, wrapping his arms around you. "i didn't mean it, i didn't. i just feel like you're getting mad at me, and i hate when people are mad at me, 'cause i feel like i'm gonna get yelled at, and-" he stops his ramble and sniffles. "'m sorry."

and there goes all your resolve. he was so precious (and pathetic), you couldn't stay mad. if you were mad at anyone, it was his bitchass friends you would be having a talk with soon. you sigh softly and rub his back. "it's okay Sammy, i'm sorry for yelling."

he hiccups, and pulls away, wiping his snotty nose with his sleeve. "really?" he asks, and before you nod, he pouts. "you're lying!" you raise an eyebrow. what was he on about now? "you're just saying that to get me to shut up, aren't you?" here comes the waterworks. again.

and your resolve was back. "Sam-" "no! i'm so sick of you all! you never try and listen to how i feel!" you sigh and put your hands up in surrender. "fine." you don't want to argue. you turn to walk off, making Sam stop and look at you. "...babe?"

you begin walking, and he steps to you, tugging you back by your shirt collar. "babe! where are you going?!" with a roll of your eyes, you turn around and glare up at him. "to give you some fucking space, because you're pissing me off and i'm not in the mood to deal with you."

he'd never heard such harsh words from you before! you'd never told him off, you always coddled him!

"w-wait!" oh, he was stuttering now. how pathetic. "i can make it up to you! please! let me, please." he shifts around nervously, then cups your face and leans in, smashing his lips against yours. you reluctantly kiss back, but his desperation made him so aggressive that you had to hurry up to keep pace, his tears and snot getting onto your face.

"hmm, mmph," he pulls away, a string of saliva that connected your tongues snapping once he licks his lips. "lemme make it up to you," he once again wipes his snot away with his sleeve. "i can, i promise." when you just give him a look, he takes it as a yes and begins to frantically undress himself until he's just in his plaid boxers and socks and shoes. he guides you to the couch and pushes you down, tugging at your jeans as if he was running out of time. "gonna make it up to you, promise," he murmurs, pulling them (along with your panties) off you.

he takes himself out and spits down onto his hand, then rubs it over his cock. as soon as he pushes inside, he lets out a bitchy whine and nearly collapses on top of you. "wait, i got it, promise-" you noticed he always said that. he promised. you had yet to see him keep one, though.

Sam's eyes begin to well with tears again, his nose getting runny. "wai- wait wait wait," he exhales shakily then swallows. "i can do it..." he sniffles, his hips slowly moving forward until he bottoms out inside you. "hnn," he sniffles, warm tears falling onto your face.

he was dead set on pleasing you. he thrusts his hips against yours, tears continually falling onto you - your face, neck, and shirt, depending on where he was. "din' mean to make you upset," he murmurs, trying to focus on not cumming prematurely. "always- hhhuh- do that," his arms were shaking, he could barely hold himself up. "hate making you mad, y'know,"

finally losing his strength, he falls forward, his weight now pressing into you, drawing a huff from you. "oh god, Sam-" he lets out a low whine, nuzzling against your cheek, smearing tears onto your skin. "please don' be mad anymore babe, don't," you wince, trying to push him up by his shoulders to no avail. he was a heavy thing. "alright, i'm not," and him fucking you wasn't really making it up to you. he was just sobbing pathetically and using you as a goddamned tissue while he rutted his hips like a virgin.

he did cum prematurely, surprise surprise. he was so fucking pathetic it was laughable. but he was your pathetic laughable boy nonetheless. it took him an entire ten minutes to recover, all his weight on you as he laid on you with no care for crushing you. he was silent besides his panting, and you could do nothing except stroke his hair to hopefully coax him to sleep. you would have an actual productive conversation with him sometime soon, not able to handle another fit from Sam.

ᝰ.ᐟ @102hannah

[lilirot]

Oh right I got through chapter 7 of L&D and man I backed the right horse with Rafayel he's such a fucking loser and another secret spoilerly thing that's absolutely up my alley

[cryptidmickle]

i love. tears.

[electricalhuzzah]

“and for my next trick, i’m going to rapidly alternate between actual torture, and begging like a dog” said bill after he condescended to the scientist with this gay shit

[half1spin]

For kanamafu week which is only on twitter ok so im posting it early here shhh

[westlywheatly]

There is something so perfectly comical about a “god” melting to something so simple as a woman’s touch djfjrjfhdhd

[muqingslover]

[ Pushing my virgin Caleb agenda again yippieeeee. God he's such a loser I love him. Thinking about making a masterlist but im a full-time procrastinator lmfao ]

Virgin!Caleb who has zero sexual experience but is the textbook definition of sexual frustration. This man is about to snap in more ways than one.

Virgin!Caleb who during his teen years had to deal with his raging hormones and finally caved and searched for porn one night. He couldn't care less about the content itself only that the person MUST look like you, bonus point if their voice sounded similar to yours.

Virgin!Caleb who feels incredibly guilty each time he cums using your clothes but he can't stop himself from burying his nose into the soft fabric of your coat as his other hand quickly moves up and down his dripping cock— By the gods, you just smell so fucking heavenly.

Virgin!Caleb who wants to try everything at least once (as long as it doesn't hurt you) because he simply can't get enough of you and your body. Of all the LIs I think he's the most open to pegging but that's a topic for another day muehehehe

Virgin!Caleb who watches you sleep like a creep and notices your shirt riding up while you laid comfortably on your stomach. His eyes trail down to your exposed skin, body growing uncomfortably hot and causing him to shift the way he's sitting on the edge of the bed. He wonders...Would you squirm if he brushed his fingertips down your back? Would you tell him to stop? Or would you let him move lower? Would you let him slip his hands under the waistband of your shorts to feel your soft thighs and press against the thin fabric of your underwear, that would surely be wet by now— ....Yep, he definitely needs an extra cold shower tonight.

Virgin!Caleb who gets nosebleeds every freaking time you do or say something his dirty, loser mind considers as too much to handle. I will die on this hill if I have to listen to mE HE GETS NOSEBLEEDS AND IT'S SO HOT BELIEVE ME ! !

Virgin!Caleb who tries to keep his composure after he accidentally caught you grinding into a pillow and whining so good. He knows he should leave, that this is beyond immoral, but his body won't listen and honestly it's not like he really tried all that much.

Virgin!Caleb who is now leaning against the wall next to your door as he ignored his throbbing boner straining against his tight pants, trying to imagine that your pretty moans were because of him instead. How he wished he could just walk in there and taste you. To mark you as his so no one else would even dare to look at you. To keep you locked in his room, safe and healthy, while he spent his day buried into your soft little hole until either of you were unable to form a coherent thought.

Virgin!Caleb who had to cover his mouth to prevent your name from spilling out when his climax hit him and he made a mess in his own pants without even touching himself, sliding down the wall after his shaky knees gave out. Oh yeah, he's in biiiig trouble.

[boywithskull]

Francis Abernathy is such a fantastic character to me, because he’s not outwardly violent like Charles, nor increasingly cold and self-serving like Henry, yet he is just as shallow. I often see the sentiment that his ending is so tragic and how he was forced into that unhappy, het marriage. As he expresses in his suicide letter, Francis ultimately succumbs to his own lack of moral strength and failure to act (“Forgive me for the things I did but mostly the ones I did not.”) Obviously I will acknowledge that the marriage situation was unfair — no one deserves to be ousted from their family for their sexuality. However, it really was not his only choice. Just as Richard comes to realise (and is quite disgusted by), Francis would rather remain trapped than have to get a job, provide for himself, and make his own life. It reminds me a lot of Julian’s ending, and how Richard says he could at least respect it if Julian had turned them in, since it would show some strength of character, but his running away only exposed how weak-willed he was all along. Perhaps Francis has a better moral compass than Henry, but his failure to use it renders him just as at fault for everything that happened. As always, Francis values his comfort over his happiness. That’s his fatal flaw.

[pa-pa-plasma]

love fics where Danny ends up in the DC universe & every alarm goes off at once & the magic users are like "yeah that's the most powerful being in the universe & also possibly super evil we are FUCKED fucked" & the Justice League is freaking tf out trying to find this thing that casually tore a hole in reality & it just cuts to Danny (Fenton) standing in the background blissfully unaware & like "man my life sucks but at least i have this candy bar—" *drops it in a puddle*

[linusbenjamin]

Benjamin Poindexter 🎯 Daredevil: Born Again S1.E9 "Straight To Hell"