#HE JUST WANTED TO CREATE STUFF IT SHOULDN'T BE HIS FAULT THAT THIS HAPPENED

[plasky]

HE'S BEING FORCED TO GO BACK TO HIS ABUSER AFTER HE'S LOST EVERYTHING THAT HE NEVER EVEN HAD IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE OF HIM

[zaine-m]

I like to think that Jayce and Viktor get a happy ending in the other universe too

Jayce feels awful that hextech took a life. Especially seeing powder (who is around the same age he was when him and his mom were saved by hextech) holding her dead sister's body

He says similar things as in the start of the trial but now fully meaning them and never mentions trying to create magic

Vander comes to Jayce's trial and stands up for him, saying he's just a stupid kid with a dream to help people who didn't know what he was doing

"Vi's with her mom now, let Jayce go home to his"

He does still sneak into his lab to attempt suicide but this time Viktor's "am I interrupting?" doesn't do anything, Jayce just turns back around and jumped, not being able to handle the guilt of accidentally taking a life while also realizing his life's work only caused harm

He survives the attempt and wakes up in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the waist down with his mother crying next to him

Viktor comes in a bit later while his mom is out making some food for him

His tone is completely too cold for the situation. Jayce is in complete despair and Viktor refuses to match the mood

He says most of the same stuff about how hextech can change people's lives but Jayce responds "yeah, well so far all it's done is a take the life of an innocent child"

"ehh, she was from the undercity. I grew up there, many children did not live to see adulthood"

"How does that make anything better?"

"Because this has the potential to change that. One explosion? There are toxic fumes and polluted waters slowly killing hundreds of children each year"

"Even if I wanted to I'm banned from the academy and ..." *waves at legs*

"pshh, you think trenchers are supposed to be at the academy and everything I did in my life I did while being disabled"

"Listen, I can't help you"

Viktor leaves Jayce's bracelet by his bed and heads towards the door. Jayce takes one look at it and throw it across the room in anger. "you probably shouldn't throw that", "GET OUT!"

A while later Vander comes to invite Jayce to Vi's memorial at the last drop

Jayce feels so guilty when he first comes into the last drop, everyone is staring at him

He sees Ekko, the kind little kid who had sold him such reasonably prices wares just days before his experiments accidentally killed his friend

Powder just starting going at him when she first sees him, her weak child-who-has-never-punched-before fists do very little damage especially because she's going so fast she doesn't fully pull her hands back

Jayce just lets her at it, crying and apologizing between the blows

Vander comes to pull Powder off of him, "it wasn't his fault, he didn't know how dangerous the materials were" she just looks back and screams at him before going back to her bedroom

Vander takes Jayce on a walk through the undercity to talk,

"Everyone in there knew what I did?"

"huh, no?"

"they were looking at me like I was a monster"

"yeah, that's cause you're dressed like a piltie"

"ohh, ha... I'm so sorry about what happened to Vi"

"It's a shame, but she's with her parents now"

*Jayce looks down, only feeling worse finding out the girl he killed was an orphan*

"You want to know how her parents died?" *they arrive at the bridge* "I thought I could help the undercity, create a better world by fighting for sovereignty. I led us across this bridge and lost so many people in the process, the undercity is still recovering"

"I'm so sorry"

"I was like you, I was young and ambitious and I wanted to help people. But you know what I learned. You don't need to make giant leaps to help the people around you"

On the way back Vander points out all the ways he's helped different people in the undercity, helping them make a business plan, caring for their kids when they were sick, helping them find a community at the last drop

He also points out all the things that could be helped like roofs with holes in them and cliffs that should have railings

"You don't need hextech to help the world, Jayce"

Jayce spends his time between his family's forge doing hammer work and around the undercity working as a handyman, building what he can to help people

Eventually he tracks down Viktor, hoping to find ways to make a more systemic change for things like the dirty water and polluted air

Viktor works on studies surveying the living conditions of those in the undercity and seeing what affects it has on expected lifespan and the likelihood of developing different diseases to present to the council

That along with the more pro-Zaun push that's been happening since Vi's death he gets quite a bit of work done

While he's doing this Jayce does what he can to start implementing changes by making water filters and distributing masks to those in the slump levels

After a few years Jayce petitions to be let back into the academy to help Viktor with his work on a formal level and with outstanding testimonials from many people in the undercity he's let back in

When their work making the undercity safer is done they move onto studying how to treat the various illnesses people in the undercity have suffered from living there

first starting with Viktor's various physical health issues and finding that a lot of his issues come from it never being studied how to use mobility aids and how improper use can put a strain on other parts of your body so he switched to a forearm crutch to help his back

I'm gonna say in this universe Viktor just has severe asthma which they're able to find medicines to treat so he still has issues breathing in a lot of the undercity, he just wears a mask most of the time and keeps his medication with him

Viktor and Jayce end up dating but it happens to slowly that it's hard to realize, they just spend all their time together working on their research and then they get an apartment together because they were both looking for roommates

Jayce stopped looking for people to date after the accident because he was going through a big life change and never got back in the game and Viktor always rejected anyone, saying he was too busy with his studies

Jayce is just physically affectionate in a way where hugging Viktor a lot turns into Viktor sitting on his lap whenever his leg is sore turns into Jayce playing with Viktor's hair when he's bored turns into them cuddling on the couch turns into them cuddling in bed turns into kisses on the forehead when one of them is sick turns into kisses when they're not sick

They're at the last drop one day and Viktor gets up off Jayce's lap to use with washroom and Vander asks Jayce, "so you think you'll propose soon" Jayce almost spits out his food, "what, what do you mean?"

"I mean you've been dating for like what 5 years now. You gotta pop the question sooner or later"

"umm... yeah" wait fuck are we dating, have we been dating for 5 years, what

In bed that night: "Viktor, I... I think I might like you... like romantically. I guess I never thought about it but I was talking to Vander and... and you've been the most important person in my life for the past like 6 years"

"Jayce, I thought we were dating? How are you only realizing this now"

"ohh"

"I called you my partner"

"I thought you meant like research partner"

"we kissed a lot"

"I thought those were like just for comfort... between friends"

*Viktor kisses him passionately but not the most passionately they've kissed before*

"Does that seem like it would be between friends?"

"heh, now that you mention it I guess not"

[oceansarepink]

"constant condescension, demands of service, and emotional abuse."

"constant condescension": do you mean the nicknames Stolas gave to Blitz where it shows the clash of POVs from both sides (Stolas POV he's just being tender and loving, but of course his oblivious ass raised in a classist family won't realize that, meanwhile from Blitz POV, where class weights way more on him, assumes he's being condescending, despite not being his intention and not being a reality either). But psh, screw that right? It's way better to oversimplify and say Stolas does it on purpose and is a big monster, surely that's the most intelligent way to go!

"demands of service": alright, it's another part of POV clash, because the so-called 'demands' are something that Blitz perhaps understands what his affair with Stolas is like, for obvious reason, he's a goetia, he's an imp, yada yada, power imbalance, logical reasons that explains why the foundation of Stolitz in the first place is messy and shouldn't ever be the base of an relationship and the reason ppl root for it is for them to get out of this but no you all just assume everyone wants them to create this narrative that 'Stolas is in the right Blitz in the wrong' when the NOT FUCKING STUPID people don't pick sides and conclude this was a trainwreck bound to happen, fans are just waiting for the resolution (which hasn't come yet)

Anyways back to my point about the so-called demands, as I explained why it's understandable Blitz views this way, this is also not an reality. Paying attention to Stolas language in Murder Family, fucked up context aside, he don't bring up consequences if Blitz didn't accept the trade neither mentioned his power to threat him to accept it either, he offered and even asked if it's fair, someone as powerful as Stolas could control Blitz easily, yet he doesn't and it shows a lot about his character, but of fucking course you all don't care about that, Stolas is a big meanie.

and lastly: emotional abuse.

What. Just what. Everything that's going on with Blitz right now is not Stolas fault, this overwhelming 'torture' for Blitz as shown in these episodes are because of the obvious fact of the MASSIVE self hatred Blitz holds against himself, which, guess what, was actually SOLVED in this episode with Millie's help. This was not a damage by Stolas, sure, it's the most recent wound and Blitz feels guilty not for falling up for him, despite him desiring that, but he just straight up refused consciously to sit and talk with Stolas seriously because he WANTED that pompous rich asshole projection he had of Stolas (that is shown on his Truth Seekers hallucination), and talking about that, YES, EVERYONE KNOWS THE STOLAS PERCEPTION OF BLITZ SHOWN IN THAT EPISODE IS FUCKED UP, is not by any means healthy and is just self degrading, Stolas social class by itself already does that but his words towards him he >unconsciously< fed this preconception;

I could discuss Stolitz for a while and explain the appeal to Stolitz is not their previous dynamic, as fun as it was to watch sometimes, most know those conditions are not the healthy base of an relationship, and no, Stolas arc is by any means resolved, him taking the action to end the transactional deal with Blitz is just an start, the episodes are setting up so much stuff about Stolas realizing more stuff and ACTUALLY CHANGE FR.

What do you think the Striker line towards him about how the royals take everything from 'us', Blitz ranting (which is not a calling Stolas out, it's a rant of feeling unfairly dismissed and how he's having his feelings being played), but regardless, mentioning his attitude towards other imps and Apology Tour description literally calling Stolas not being self aware enough, and it's the episodes where petty Stolas keep talking bs at the start (with an Blitz that refuses to talk seriously fr)

This misconception you all have that Stolitz fans think all this needs to happen is Blitz to confess, and that Stolas has nothing more to improve is just wrong. Just plain wrong. I love both of these characters and I hate seeing an enormous mischaracterization of both.

Let's see if you won't oversimplify all I just said

Not oversimplify, but to summarise how stolas fans excuse him:

(1) Not the nickname. The fact he is asked not to say it, but does anyway. Because it makes him feel good. That is condescending. He is screamed in his face how people feel, and he ignores them not because he is “oblivious” or “tender and loving” but because he wants them to feel something else. This is wilful ignorance.

His response to his abusive marriage and family he has no control over, is to control those he knows cannot say no to him, to make himself feel better. The same way he abuses drugs and absinthe. He does it to his own staff, his daughter in the LooLoo land episode causing her breakdown, which he later regretted. In general to all imp kind, hellhounds also. This is the toxic mindset of someone with pain, who has let his victim mentality go too far. He is exploiting his privilege, which he is perfectly aware that he has. “Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable you know”

Oddly enough, despite his “oblivious” self….he knows not to act this way towards Paimon, Asmodeus, and Andrealphus. He uses respect for all three. Ever wonder why? Him and Stella are in a clear power struggle. How they use power is unstable. An explanation, not excuse, for how he acts. This isn’t a prince problem. This is a stolas problem. His trauma isn’t blitzos fault, but Blitzs trauma is caused by how stolas has behaved to him.

“His oblivious ass and being raised in a classist family won’t realise that” hm. Wont realise….what? But you say everything is all in blitzs head and not the reality at all? So what isn’t stolas realising???

…..Oh and these…which are not even all of them.

(2) Now hang on, you can’t just “yada yada” away a power dynamic that you recognise is the problem. Stolas can control blitz. You do not understand what the sexual abuse is here. You think the fact he could rape him even more, but doesn’t, is worthy of praise. I think what he’s already done to abuse his power, is worthy of disdain. You’re pretending this was consensual, but despite how pro stolas the narrative is, even they have to admit it was not. Stolas said it wasnt right for a reason. And you seem to take his reality and his truth as the only reality, so why make this exception. When someone says they were sexually abused, you don’t get to say “Well you’re wrong. That’s not the reality. Because he loves you, and he didn’t mean it. He’s doesn’t see it this way, he’s one of the good ones.”

That first sentence is a mess. They’re demands because “no” isn’t reasonably on the table. He had to beg him not to take his business away, he said he could fulfill the bargain. You and stolas are squeamishly in denial about it. It’s not that blitz doesn’t feel this way, and that it isn’t what happened, it’s that you wish he didn’t and you wish that it didn’t, you want to pretend it is “society” or blitzs mental illnesses or Blitzs dad. But never stolas and what he did.

Er….you are taking a side. You said everything blitz feels is not reality. The source being, his trauma, and because stolas doesn’t see it that way. This feels like accusing an abuser person of “hysteria”

The emotional abuse part was explained very clearly, stolas does all of these; shifts blame, denial, shames him for his past relationships, switches victim and offender, rewrites past events, dodges questions, uses hefty amounts of guilt tripping, projection, deflection, silent treatment, taunting, and torment. By comparison, Blitz yells at him not to dismiss him, says he behaves in a classist way, makes sex jokes, and says “fuck you” these are all reactions. Something called reactive abuse which is what victims do in frustration and lack of control. Like stolas screaming back at Stella. She almost always starts it. (Not counting one scene where the start of the fight is offscreen so I don’t know who did)

“This was not caused by stolas. Sure it was the most recent wound” bit of a self contradiction. The way stolas behaved was disgusting, and abusive, his combination of control and guilt tripping, caused a massive decline in blitzs confidence triggering a mental break. As stolas’ behaviour has done to him several times.

Did Blitz “not want to talk?” Or did stolas order him to leave three times, and kick him out by force the second time? And turn his back on him every single instance. Causing the angry “im not being listened to” response stolas always causes in people. No. It’s stolas who refuses to. And as you and I both know, he has all of the power.

Third last paragraph, Viv cannot allow blitz to be right about stolas, so she compares him to a more convenient “bad” example, Striker. Ppl want to pretend the problem is “society” and painting royals with the same brush like a meanie head, and pretend it’s not stolas’ fault cause he’s just “loving and tender and oblivious and silly” This is a massive case of denial and creators pet behaviour, that is even irritating the spindlehorse animators and non-Viv writers.

Second last paragraph, don’t tell me what I think lol?. Many of the fans say they actually do feel that way, it’s no misconception. In this message you are dodging stolas having any moments of malice at all, by using “trauma” and “blitz just sees it that way” as reasonings.

[terrahlee-cup]

My hand slipped there’s more now @mousermayhem. This poor kid needs some damn soup and a hug. That is in no way my fault.

Splinter hummed softly, gently running his hand over their guest's scales. He'd walked in to find the turtle thrashing in his sleep and every protective instinct told him to calm the child down. He was glad his sons had, for the most part, stayed wary of the larger turtle. For him, though… he couldn't stop seeing an injured teenager that had been created only to fight.

The turtle's own brothers had been willing to harm him to the point of almost killing him. Had the child ever been treated gently? Had any of them? He was so young, inexperienced and vulnerable in ways Splinter's own children wouldn't be able to understand. It disgusted him that any adult would do things this way. Copied memories were not a true substitute for living. Knowing how to fight in theory did not give these children the muscle memory, the practice, that had been so important for his sons' safety.

A soft whine and a bang brought Splinter out of his thoughts to murmer soothing words to the injured teen. When the turtle's tail stopped whipping against the bedframe, Splinter looked to the notes Donatello had written out earlier that day. The times listed on the paper confirmed Splinter's suspicions that the pain medication was wearing off and leading to the increased distress.

He wasn't surprised to see his son step into the room shortly after his look at the notes. "Oh, hi dad. I didn't expect you to be in here?"

"I unfortunately cannot keep myself from watching over injured teenagers. I have too much experience with them pushing themselves too quickly." Donatello grinned,

"You mean Raph pushing himself too quickly."

"He may be the worst of you four, but you have all done it." His son stuck his tongue out before turning to administer the pain medication.

"I try not to, but I have so much stuff I want to work on! I can't just sit in bed all day. By the way, this stuff isn't going to keep him asleep, so he might wake up soon. Just… so you don't get bit or something."

"I will keep that in mind, thank you."

As it turned out, the child would sleep for another hour. Splinter took the chance to read while he waited. When the turtle did eventually start to stir he stood to fill a glass of water— far enough to avoid any initial panic, but close enough to help if necessary. Thankfully it seemed they needn't have worried, the teen simply yawning and carefully pushing himself into a sitting position. Catching sight of Splinter he tilted his head and blinked, "You're… their dad. Right."

Splinter smiled gently and nodded, "Yes. Now here, have something to drink, I'm sure you're dehydrated after everything that's happened." The turtle took the cup without complaint and Splinter returned to his seat. "May I ask why you chose to come here specifically?"

The teen opened his mouth to reply, only for his head to snap around to watch the door. Splinter raised an eyebrow. Did the child have enhanced hearing? Mikey skid to a stop just outside the door, grinning as he entered the room. "Hey, you're awake! Feeling better?" The other turtle gave a hesitant nod, tail curling around his ankle. Leonardo's entrance was far less happy-go-lucky.

"Mikey we don't know if he's safe-!"

"I can confirm that everything is fine, Leonardo, you have nothing to stress over. Come, sit." Seeing Mikey safe, Leonardo's shoulders sagged in relief as he moved to sit in a chair near his father. Mikey meanwhile began chattering to a mildly alarmed Dark Raph, who seemed unsure of if he should be responding to what was being said. Donatello joined them moments later, checking the computer before he spoke.

"How are you feeling? Any pain? The meds shouldn't be wearing off yet, but we already have a boosted metabolism so I'm not sure about you…" The other teen shrugged,

"I feel fine." After a moment of hesitation, tongue darting out to lick his lips, he continued, "My hip is a bit sore still."

"Yeah that's pretty much to be expected, but I can have one of the bots scan it just in case." 

"The-" Seeing the bot pop up next to him had the turtle jerking back in surprise, eyes warily tracking the machine as it started its scan. Donatello didn't seem to notice, eyes still on the computer as he looked over the images. Mikey, however, whipped out a sketchbook and nudged the other teen until he was looking at art instead of what was happening.

"Everything looks fine, but if you want to walk around at all you should probably wear a brace for now. That way you won't have to worry about anything popping back out of place." Still distracted by Mikey's sketchbook, the other turtle only hummed in reply.

Donatello's deadpan look had Splinter smiling in amusement and shaking his head. "I can make sure he actually heard you later, my son." His son huffed, but rolled the computer chair over to sit with him and Leonardo.

"Oh yeah! Guys, we need to give him a nickname! We can't just keep calling him Dark Raph or whatever if he's sticking around." Mikey seemed excited by the idea, but the other turtle frowned, eyes narrowed.

"You… want me to stay."

"Yeah of course we do! Right, guys?"

"Mikey if he has somewhere to go we can't keep him here. Wait, do you have somewhere to go?" At Leonardo's question the teen eyes skittered away to glare at a the wall.

"No, I don't." Donatello raised an eyeridge,

"Well I'd prefer you stay until you're healed at least. I mean, we can't just let you wander around the apartment, but… yeah."

"Yeah, what Donnie said! C'mon you should stay. Pleaseeee." Dark Raph immediately looked away from Mikey's puppydog eyes, still frowning.

"I- what's the catch. You want me to fight my brothers or some shit?" When all of his sons froze, confusion written across their faces, Splinter stepped in.

"There is no catch. We would not ask you to fight your brothers. If you really feel like you must give us something for letting you stay, any information you have on Darius Dunn's plans would be helpful. However, we are not going to force you to do anything." The teen was still visibly suspicious of their intentions, but he did seem to consider his options. Splinter waited in silence for the turtle's answer. It did not matter how much they wanted to help; if the child felt like a captive they would only be able to do so much.

By the time the teen spoke Mikey was bouncing in place, quickly running low on patience. "I'll… stay. For now." Mikey cheered at the answer,

"Yes! I'm making a celebration dinner bye!" His son was halfway out the door before he'd even finished his sentence.

"He forgot about the nickname thing, didn't he?" 

[3416]

The nylander convo pre covid years was def reaching the pervasiveness, but never quite got as personal the way it has with mitch. like I distinctly remember don cherry (just threw up in my mouth a little bit) continuously going off about nylander which then made everyone else talk about him and it was just an endless cycle. they painted him as aloof and felt that he didn't care about toronto, but they never really got as mean as people have with mitch now. everyone wanted him out of toronto, but they weren't saying he should never play in the nhl again

but honestly the biggest difference was that the things they were saying about willy weren't exactly wrong either. like they would get mad at his lack of production or sloppy defense or careless plays, which like, yeah. that's exactly what was happening. they didn't have to go on and on about it but he wasn't producing like they thought he would and that was that.

And the thing I can't really pinpoint is when and why the nylander hate train stopped. again, I don't think anyone's faults deserve to be pointed out and dissected on a nightly basis, but he hasn't exactly improved exponentially in any of those categories? maybe the caring about toronto bit? but he still makes careless plays and his career point totals are still less than marner/matthews so? what gives?

I don't know why the blame was shifted to mitch, and again, another guy has to take ALL the blame for this teams shortcomings and have his character be questioned every single day. Nothing about it makes sense.

oh yeah and i'm not making light of the types of xenophobia that can be seen when talking about nhlers. there's plenty of it and i'm not even saying willy wasn't a negative talking point bc i'm sure he was. don cherry is an old ass hag whose opinion shouldn't matter at all 50 years after he stopped playing like jfc. but i do think one man's vendetta and constant bitching is different from like.. proper media outlets going out of their way to misinterpret something (or EVERYTHING) a player says time and time again to drum up talk. i just think things on the internet have somehow gotten worse in terms of clickbait so everything feels even more terrible too. someone does always have to be the scapegoat with toronto but i have a hard time buying that a rookie was taking up as much air time as the public punching bag than a now star player who has an obligation and routine to be in the media more often and all of it follows constant playoff failure from the TEAM. even elliott friedman covering the entire LEAGUE having to stop talking about anything to do with mitch hypothetically unless it was actual insider info bc his mentions went nuts is so........ trash.

and lol about the stuff they were saying about willy. it certainly isn't a nice way to say it... calling him lazy and insinuating shit about his work ethic is attacking his character when i don't think that's the way to put it, but i do think those are still problems in his game, you're right! the thing is... willy was not always productive as he has been right now, lol. his game has grown but mostly in just offensive production and that's it. he hasn't put in the work on the less flashy side of things (while mitch has. mitch's offense has always been top tier but he's dedicated time to growing defensively clearly) and i think it's a valid criticism of him and also a lot of hockey fans don't fully know how to evaluate or value skills away from the puck (myself included to some extent too, it's harder). he's great at creating offense solo... he's a great puck carrier and in transition... he's great when he's out there with a loaded up line like the power play (hence why some of his 'clutch' moments come in those situations too). but i also think everyone talking about his ability to pay attention for a full 82 game span being unproven is right, lol. i saw a tweet abt how he does 'just enough' the other day and was a 'load management king' and like. maybe so but imagine if a forward you've agreed to pay 11.5 would do a little more than that and work on consistency, lol. i get why people are a fan of his game, don't get me wrong. it's fun to watch graceful bursts of offense... i just think there's still irresponsibility there. if he were more willing to buy in, we have a better shot at racking up more points during the regular season and putting us in a better position for the playoffs too... wouldn't need some of those moments of saving lol. it's not just about only 'showing up' in the playoffs moments considered big, which i still think is a stupid argument when every game is important and the best playoff run by a current leaf was 22-23 mitch but. idk. i'm kind of glad berube is trying him at center to give the leafs and willy's game some versatility. i hope it comes with growth, the team will be better for it.

the shift in blame is hard to pinpoint for me too, lol. i don't get why beyond like.. willy bulking up... putting up 40 goals? idk what the threshold is for why things changed this time when mitch was our mvp 2 yrs ago with auston hurt. willy going on a run in a contract year was part of it probably, but it's silly of leaf fans to just decide Now is the year it all just doesn't work just bc only 2/4 core guys are signed on and then declare those are the best 2 we've had the the loss of the others is marginal. bc lol and it's pure coincidence that the major contracts line up in tandem like that. we still only saw them all play under 2 coaches that whole time... anyway. i have no clue what's next, lol. i'm excited to see them play in a different system for real, but i think the dumbest people among us need someone to solely blame for why everything up to this point hasn't worked and why getting rid of that 1 person will result in immediate success while refusing to acknowledge luck plays any sort of role year after year. it's not a fun truth but it's a truth... having 3/4 of ur best players dealing with something in some capacity is crazy work by the universe.

[sedicisantidote]

I read some article this week talking about what you just said, saying if the team can't trust their 1, he shouldn't be the 1, Talkin about how Charles are not good at simple things (like guessing what Lewis was going to do), he's not ready ans he's good but probably not the one people were thinking he would be.

I never seen anyone blaming any pilot for everything, it's all Charles fault, he has to think about everything everytime and he's the only one who makes mistakes.

I'm so tired and I can't talk about it with anyone I know who likes F1 because they say Charles doesn't have haters, everyone is nice to him, when I see the opposite, everyone, including some fans, are too hard on him.

Hiii anon! AND OH MY GOD RIGHT?!? Like the amount of hate charles gets is insanee, I am not saying that he is the only one or comparing it, but to say that he doesn't get any is simply untrue. And it's not just hater stuff, I've seen people wish death on him and his loved ones or making fun of his father and other things that boil my blood

On top of the hate, he gets unfair criticism from journalists and literally everyone and that's not even including how he carries an entire country's weight and the pressure he gets from being a ferrari driver. And yet, he does it so gracefully

I think with charles, people feel threatened with him because in a way he's almost "too perfect" for F1, on top of being extremely talented, he never gets into media fights, or says anything out of line/controversial, has a relatively peaceful private life etc so they make up stuff to get angry at him for and find faults where there aren't any and it's in such a big amount because all these (wrong) criticisms he gets is being pushed by offical f1 too, because they need a narrative to sell and picture perfect hardly creates the drama they need. He can be multiple times world champion with ferrari and people are still gonna say how in 2026 COTA race charles should have predicted that there was going to spin in turn 7 on lap 15 and take out another driver bringing a SC and therefore he should have waited before saying his tyres are gone and he needed to pit and getting pitted

I'm always here if you want to talk or when someone especially gets on your nerves with their bullshit, it is a hard life 😭 i swear half of it wouldn't even happen if charles was simply british smh

[indoraptorgirlwind]

ANT-MAN COCO AU PART 1

(Notes: yes, i know these characters are not related but i wanted to do a twist for this au)

Peter Parker narrating*

"Sometimes, i think i'm cursed, because of something that happened long before i was born. See, many years ago, there was this dad who was a superhero. He had a whole team with his family. But he also had a dream. To rescue the world and sing. He went to use his abilities on another place, but never returned. And the mama... she didn't have time to cry over that walk away superhero. After banishing all superhero related things from her life, she made her income by making shoes. You know, she could have make candy, fireworks or even those cool luchador suits!. But she had to choose shoes! Then she taught her daughter to make shoes, and then to her son-in-law, and the tradition kept by generations. Superheroes had torn her family away, but shoes held them all together, even after she passed away. That woman was my great great grandmother, mama Hope. She died long before i was born but my family tells their story on every day of the dead. And her little daughter is my great grandma, mama Cassie. She doesn't remember things so well, but i still love her! My family may be shoemakers but i...am not like them! I know i shouldn't like superheroes, but its not my fault! It's his! Darren Cross! The greatest superhero of all times! When he brought his shrinking and grow abilities to the world, people fell in love with him. He had movies, discs, he could even fly! He had a lot of abilities! Until one day he got crushed by a giant bell...I wanna be just like him!" *Peter gets interrupted by a random superhero on the plaza that was having his shoes fixed by Peter, snapping him back to reality*

"Calm down kid, i asked for a shoeshine, not the story of your life!"

After Peter got some advices from the superhero, his abuelita Yelena suddenly appeared, menacing the superhero with a chancla, scaring him away. After she got Peter scolded by going to the plaza which was filled with superheroes, she taught him the importance of altars on the day of the dead. Peter heard about the superhero suit contest, so he decided to participate on it. The problem was to figure out a way without being noticed by his family. Peter didn't realize he was being followed by Cosmo, a street dog that tried to eat the food from the ofrenda. When Peter got her away, the photo of mama Hope fell, and when he was worrying because the glass broke... he realized... the photo had a man without head, because it was ripped from the photo... then he noticed something curious... His suit was just like Darren Cross' suit! Peter got so excited and grabbed the photo and climbed the ceiling, anouncing his family that he wanted to become a superhero because Darren Cross was his great great grandfather. However, when mama Yelena saw this, and found superhero related stuff he had hidden alongside a spider-like suit he had created, she scolded him by telling him how much of a terrible father he was, ripping Peter's suit. This act made Peter flee from home, between tears. He went straight to the superhero contest, but because he had no suit anymore, he tried to steal Cross' suit for a moment, and when he wore it and set the helmet on...something happened....When the people entered to see what was going on, Peter thought he was in trouble, but he got even more scared when the people didn't see him and even pass through him! Just when he thought that what was happening was scary enough, after falling to a tomb and being rescued by a lady, he panicked away when he saw that she was a skeleton! And there were more of them through all the cementery!

Peter was very scared to say the least, but then suddenly, he bumped into an old man. Despite his fear, he apologized

"Are you okay sir?" He asked. Suddenly, the man revealed to be papa Harley

"Peter, is that you? You're here here?!" His voice caught more relatives attention, such as tia Kate and tia Natasha! Then suddenly, a man and a woman ran together at his dead family, they were tia Wanda and Tio Pietro! They looked worried...

"it's mama Hope!" Wanda said

"she couldn't cross!" Pietro continued

They also freaked out when they saw Peter, but the family was decided to take him with mama Hope to see if she could fix things up. Peter was truly astonished by what he was seeing. There was a huge marigold bridge and just beyond it, a huge town with an undescriptable beauty and colors, happiness and alebrijes! It was all just so magnificient. Then in some guard station, Peter saw that there was a guy trying to cross the bridge, but getting caught by some guys. Pretty sad for those who didn't have a photo on their ofrenda... When they arrived at an office, there was Hope, hitting a computer with her shoe. She was also weirdened out by Peter's presence, but she was more annoyed than scared.

When the clerk explained them that Peter got cursed by stealing something from an ofrenda, they discovered it was the ant-man suit Peter wore. This got Hope even more upset, as Peter broke the no superhero rule. Then the clerk said they had to send him to the living world before the sunrise

"What happens after sunrise?" Peter asked

"hijole Peter, your finger!" Harley interrupted. Peter watched in horror as the top of his finger was becoming an skeletal finger, he almost fainted.

"The only way to go back to the world of the living is to get blessed by a relative" The clerk explained. He picked up a petal of cempasuchitl, and gave it to Hope, explaining that she had to give Peter her blessing and then give him the petal.

"Peter...i give you my blessing to go home, and never get involved into superheroes again!" She suddenly snapped

"What? It's not fair!" Peter protested "She can put the conditions she want" the clerk added.

Peter sighed and agreed, and as long as he grabbed the petal, he was back at the living world again.

[solunest]

"...and create in me a heavenly body."

I finally made semi-fledged character designs for the main peeps of 'The Heavenly Body' Case File in Question! It's the finished version of the doodle and aaaa

I also wanna talk a bit about the characters and stuff before I finish up Chapter 4 of this fanfic, since it's coming to a close. Aaaaaand to perhaps drop some hints about what could possibly come, for those of y'all wanting to guess how this goes down.

Word vomit, so aaaaa, under the cut-

[Eclipse, the Honored Police Chief] The evidently socially awkward prototype animatronic who towers around 9'5" tall, struggles to get through some doorways and some conversations, specifically from a detective that he accidentally managed to befriend three years ago. He's an auto-repurposed celestial animatronic that earned a spot in the police force when he was paving a new way of life for himself and his family. While some things didn't happen the way he wanted it to, he intends to spend the rest of his life atoning for all the poor decisions he's made.

[Sun, the Sadistic Mafia Boss] The flamboyant and childish-facading celestial animatronic, standing about 8~ foot tall, loves teasing and talking down condescendingly about people. Was a former childcare animatronic, along with his family, until an incident happened where his family had to survive on the streets. One day, it was just him and his younger brother and he now bears a seething hatred for the naturally exalted humans who once called his kind a sort of slave. He plans to take over the city that forsaken them, not letting anything, human or animatronic, stop him.

[Moon, the Sinister Mafia Boss] The more level-headed, but torture-happy celestial animatronic, around the same height as his second brother. Is the youngest of his family, however, bears the aura of someone with high authority. Swore to protect his remaining brother with his life, while also keeping him in check. Though, he also needs to let his tendencies out every now and then, letting them loose on those who have wronged them. Is convinced that what they're doing is correct.

[Y/N, the Mysterious Rookie Detective] A detective who magically appeared in the force one day and was hired due to the incompetence of the other officers. Was a diligent worker who got things done on time, so they were favored to stay. Doesn't speak much, and if they do, they're short, clipped sentences with a blank face and vague gestures. Humans and animatronics alike cannot detect them approaching for some reason, and their isolated self allows plenty of rumors to swirl about them. They bear two guns that they never seem to remove. Gained an odd friendship with their police chief and the attention of two unruly celestial animatronics.

Eclipse's Thoughts on the Others Sun; What he thinks of me is my own fault. I miss him. Moon; The hope I have with him shouldn't be fed. I miss him. Y/N; I should only look at them as a friend or a close confidant.

Sun's Thoughts on the Others Eclipse; Betrayal. How dare he. You don't deserve to live. Moon; The only one I have left. Please don't leave me. Y/N; You're just like me, I know it. Stay away from him.

Moon's Thoughts on the Others Eclipse; Why? I know you'll never answer, but it plagues my mind. Sun; I'm watching my brother fall apart before my very eyes. Y/N; How can I not sense you? Where's the light in your eyes?

Y/N's Thoughts on the Others Eclipse; He's changing. My body reacts to him. I've yet to know why. Sun; Annoying. Dances around the subject too much. Moon; Annoying. Underestimates not even in a smart way.

Other notable characters; Mayor Freddy Fazbear; The city mayor, kind and loving, advocator of the union of animatronics and humans. Foxy; An old friend of Freddy and a good acquaintance of yours. Gregory Fazbear; The adopted son of the mayor with a dire secret. Knows answers that you will need that you may never think to look. Michael Afton; The Afton mafia boss, trying to solve a mystery and assert his dominance where he doesn't need. Music Man; Eyes and ears of the city that only helps those who've intrigued him. Never sticks to one side.

Iiiiiiif you have any questions and the like, don't hesitate to shoot em my direction!

ALSO. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ANGST, I HIGHLY SUGGEST TO LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

I have a fluffy fic coming soon after this one, but for now, if you can't handle crushin feels, this fic ain't for you, chief-

[diabolikpersonals]

What do you think it's like when Shu and Yuma argue? Like do they throw stuff or argue pretty peacefully? And who is usually the first one to apologize?

If you want to see Shu and Yuma's conflict resolution skills in action (post-character development and stuff, obviously they're different back in MB) then I recommend Yuma's LE route! (spoilers under the cut)

When it comes to Yuma, Shu has a gut response that's like, "I have to avoid him. He has every right to hate me and I shouldn't be part of his life anymore, I only cause bad things to happen to him. So I should avoid him." And that's something that he's, like, drilled into his head for a long time so it doesn't go away so easily, even when Shu and Yuma get closer. So that's not great! It means that Shu's not gonna be yelling and throwing stuff in an argument with him, but for Yuma, Shu leaving the situation and going full hermit mode is probably worse. Like, "Why does this guy avoid every problem?? I want him to stick around and work with me, this is pissing me off!!"

I want to give Yuma some credit, because he's capable of being really mature and understanding even when he's the one who was wronged in a situation. However, he does get really mad first. He yells, curses, threatens to punch Shu, etc. And then after that, once he gives himself some time to calm down, he's capable of being mature and understanding xD To be honest, Shu can take yelling and threats of violence. I mean, he kinda thinks he deserves it. (which is unhealthy but this post is already too long so lets unpack this another time)

As for who apologizes first, that depends on what your definition of an apology is, I think. Shu is really bad at talking about his feelings, but he's quick to apologize through his actions. Verbally, I think Yuma would grumble out an apology first and then do a sort of okay job of explaining what's wrong. (Of course, if Yui is there, she'll make this whole process a hundred times easier.)

So, the example from Yuma's LE route: Yuma meets his old friend Lucks who was turned into a ghoul (actually it was just a fake Lucks that Kino and Yuuri created but Yuma doesn't know that so to understand how he feels, just think of it as Lucks) and Lucks attacks Shu. Shu has no idea who this guy is, he thinks Lucks is just some random ghoul, so he defends himself and kills Lucks. Yuma blows up, like "Do you know who you just killed???? I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!!!" and Shu's like "????? okay, I mean, if you want, go ahead...?"

When Shu figures out what happens later, he thinks that he's done something terrible, and Yuma's right to be angry with him. Killing basically the only person left from his childhood...That's a huge deal. So Shu's very apologetic, although apologizing to Yuma's face is really tough (again Shu's strategy is Avoid Avoid Avoid) so Shu tries to make things up to him in his actions, by trying his best to be the responsible leader Yuma wants him to be.

Yuma's attitude about the whole thing really shocked me in how level-headed it was. He's like, "Yeah I'm devastated about this whole thing, but Shu really didn't know who Lucks was, and he was just defending himself. He didn't mean to kill someone important to me. So it's not his fault. I just think we need some time away from each other after all that." (I was like, dude???? hell yeah????? that's practically the best possible reaction you couldve had omg)

There's also a big dramatic scene in the vampire ending where Shu asks Yui to tell Yuma he's sorry, stabs himself, and says that he's doing it to atone for everything he's done to Yuma. Self-sacrifice, yay! Shu is so good at that! (Of course, Shu isn't going to stab himself over every argument they have, lol. There was a lot more going on in the route. But it's a good example of how deep Shu's "I've done terrible things to Yuma and I need to punish myself to make it up to him" thing goes.)

[syndromealice-blog]

Why Lily was a bad friend

I always read something like: Lily was a good girl, the best friend, but Snape was a Death Eater and he was obsessed.

I didn’t notice her like a character at all, she was more a neutral to me, because everyone said, that she was so good and so beautiful and so awesome. She was Harry’s mother and I understood that she is an important for Harry and to some people. But then I read The prince’s tale. Oh, well. How can I start? The first thing, that I didn’t like: she used Severus even they were a children. He told everything about Hogwarts and Wizarding World. I think that was a reason why she wanted to be his “friend”. Lily lived with her sister, who hated her and when Lily realized that she is a witch, she was happy, because now Lily has some privileges.

When Lily came to Hogwarts Express, there was a scene:

"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you."

Petunia turned scarlet.

"Beg? I didn't beg!"

"I saw his reply. It was very kind."

"You shouldn't have read " whispered Petunia, "that was my private ¨how could you ?"

Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Snape stood nearby. Petunia gasped.

"That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!"

"No" Now Lily was on the defensive. "Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn't believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all!

Okay, now it seems, like she actually defense Severus, but no. She said, that Severus did that. Severus saw, Severus found... why? She defense herself, not Severus. I had the same situation in childhood and I defended my friend and said it was my fault. Lily literally enjoyed this moment, when she can show to her sister who is a muggle and who is a witch.

Then in Hogwarts:

"...thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape was saying, "Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing," said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny "

Yeah, Lily, it was a dark magic, but why you wasn’t terrifying, what James and Sirius did to your “best friend”? Or you are so good and so kind only to rich boys? Or maybe you just didn’t care.

Severus asked a logical question:

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Snape. His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily.

Oh, my God. Of course, you don’t know.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," said Lily. "They say he's ill "

"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape.

"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

He is obsessed? No, Lily, you are obsessed with defense. They bullied him all years in Hogwarts. Of course Severus hate them, it’s a normal reaction. I know, people can say, that Lily was a child, but when I was a fifteen years old, I wasn’t so stupid.

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

The intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there.

“LILY, THEY TRIED TO KILL ME DOWN THERE”

They don’t use Dark Magic though

“LILY THIS MAN ON THE STREET TRYING TO RAPE A BABY”

He don’t use Dark Magic though

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

A boy, who bully others not a bad, he is just a toerag. Mmmmmnmmmm

Then was a mudblood scene. She literally smiled, she didn’t help, she said: LeAvE hIm aLoNe. What? If my friend was hung upside down, I certainly wouldn't say leave him alone. I would curse the bully properly and go straight to the headmaster or at least to the teacher. Why Lily didn’t go to the headmaster or to the teachers earlier? She just didn’t care about Severus at all. Because I can’t explain, why fifteen years old girl, who sees every day, that James Potter bully her “best friend” and she does nothing. Then Severus called her a mudblood. I have one theory and I believe that’s a canon. Levicorpus was Severus’s spell. He created it. And why Lily had a successes in potions? I am sure, that Severus gave own book to her and she saw all spells. Levicorpus is non-verbal spell and no one can learn it just by hearing. So, Lily gave book to James. He read this spell and used it. If this is true (at least it seems logical), so Lily is a fucking piece of shit. She gave best friend’s book where were a hints to his bully.

Then Lily was angry and said:

Fine,' she said coolly. 'I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.'

Later, when Severus try to apologize, she said:

To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Yeah, girl. Like YOU, rich and beautiful human, said to poor, ugly friend wash your pants. It was a classism.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends ¨ you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Okay, if you already saw that he is so bad and awful, why you continued this “friendship” Why? Nobody actually forced you. Why? If he wasn’t good enough, just say: Sorry, but I think, I don’t want to be your friend anymore. That’s it. You literally can do this.

Three years later Lily was married with James, who was “ an arrogant toerag”. Hmmm, okay. Sirius and Remus said, that James didn’t bully anyone but Severus. Lily didn’t know about it. Sorry, I don’t believe.

Results:

Lily didn’t care about Severus and their “friendship”. She gaslighted him all the time. She saw how difficult was his childhood, she saw his abusive father and their life before school. She didn’t help when James bullied him. And no, saying LEAVE HIM ALONE is not a help. If she wanted to help, she did it. Lily used Severus in Potions, before school, when he told everything about Wizarding World and then she gave his book to his bully. She is not a friend. She is just a girl, who wanted something from Severus. And yes, everyone say: IT’S NOT HER JOB, HE BECAME TO A DEATH EATER AND USED DARK MAGIC. She knew that all the time. If this was a problem, she could leave. If she was terrified about death eaters shit, she could talk with him. She knew how difficult life he has. It’s not her job, that’s right. Or maybe she is just a shitty friend?

[crowandtalbot]

I think the Edward Elric comparison is perfect. Because what really strikes me as foul is in the conversation where Aang says that he shouldn't kill the firelord and he's upset because he's never done that before, he's talking specifically to Kyoshi who "killed" Chin the Conqueror by creating the situation that ended in his death.

She explains that taking his life was necessary to secure peace, specifically in the language of: "I killed that man. I did not care if he saved himself or not when I split the ground under his feet. I had no interest in saving him when he did fall. I split the island off knowing full god damned well that Chin dying wasn't just possible as a consequence, but the most likely outcome and I did it anyway. I killed Chin." Kyoshi doesn't just fully acknowledge that using lethal force on people kills them. (I point to this mostly when people try to say that in a kid's show you assume no one dies unless explicitly told, because Kyoshi is talking about doing something reckless that applies lethal force in much the same way as the gaang this whole series.) She specifically says that intending to kill is not much different than being reckless in the application of lethal force. She is holding herself accountable for her own decisions and actions.

Aang is the one trying to shift that blame from her onto Chin, because he died "from his stubbornness". And he does the same for himself when, within in that context, he says that he's never killed before and to ask him to use lethal force is unethical. Of course asking him, a 12 year old ascetic monk, to kill is unethical, but children doing the things that even adults shouldn't have to is a huge theme in the series. Of course him finding a third way is a beautiful way of addressing that theme, and it's perfect. But the misstep is Aang suggesting: blowing all those soldiers off the side of a mountain and crushing others in the snow (using lethal force that can inly be interpreted as causing death) during the siege of one of the air temples wasn't his fault only because maybe he just wasn't thinking about whether it would kill them. All those people blown into solid stone walls with enough force to lift them off their feet, fly several 10's of feet across a room, and hold them against the wall wasn't him murdering these people maybe because his intention wasn't to kill them. That all the soldiers crushed by the strikes of the giant spirit koi fish at the north pole and sinking those ships full with sailors into polar freezing temperature water doesn't count as him killing them since, I guess he was in the avatar state and under influence of the ocean spirit? Sure maybe I could give him that, but if killing in a life or death situation is so abhorrent to cause this whole existential crisis, why was there not one peep of a doubt after the battle at the north pole? The implication felt very clear to me even back when the episode first aired that Aang doesn't believe himself to be responsible for his own actions just as long as he doesn't specifically intend to do something distasteful regardless of whether or not the distasteful thing happens and that's incredibly sloppy writing.

Literally just the revelation when Kyoshi explains her side of killing Chin that, "ah shit I guess that would be the only logical conclusion. I think I might have killed people" could have led to an additional level of discussion with the other avatars, for example when he decided he didn't like what Kyoshi said and he wanted someone to tell him what he wanted to hear (immediately afterward he speaks to an air nomad avatar expecting them to say that he didn't have to kill the firelord). We could have had the explicit discussion about Aang being a child and that being unfair and that all this stuff that is natural within a war environment runs counter to everything that is good and healthy; this would have been the place to spell out the underlying theme of "war scars civilization for generations by traumatizing the children through making the things that would traumatize grown adults so commonplace that those children don't even have a baseline anymore to understand that they are traumatized" (see Zuko and Azula's story arcs).

But no, instead we get a main character suggesting that it's fine if other people dirty their hands with causal murder, but he's too special boi to be responsible for his own application of lethal force. FMA has this same exact theme (see all the times the war veteran state alchemists who helped the state genocide Ishval express shock and disgust at ed and al working as "dogs of the state" and equally all the times they move heaven and Earth to try to protect them from even the tiniest details of war) and Ed and Al not only have the hinted extra levels of conversation over the course of the series, but they take responsibility for their own actions even when those actions have unintended consequences and even though they are also children who shouldn't have to be the people with all the answers acting the right way all the time. Ed even talks with Al about how special boi status is isn't an excuse to refuse what is necessary or pretend like intentions save you from the blame.

TLDR: I have a lot of very strong feelings about this scene, and FMA did the same thing but better.

I enjoy the fact that aang refuses to kill is more rooted in "im 12 and a monk" and less to do with "if i kill im just as bad"

[anarmorofwords]

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

[adventuresinwonderlust]

Title: Caution to the Wind PART 2 

For PART 1 Click HERE

Pairing: Yoongi x reader  

Warnings: smut, fluff, angst, a lot of first times, tension, Solo/ mutual masturbation (m) (f),  mentions of virginity and losing it (friendship pact)

*AUTHORS NOTE: Warnings will update per chapter as things get steamier*

Permanent Tag List: @mochilicious-yoongi @heyimtavia ​

Rating: 18 and over

You wake to the sun peeking through his curtains, rolling to find Yoongi gone. You stretch your body out before sitting up and looking about for your phone. Yoongi soon enters, coffee in hand, once you send an all is well text to your mother. He hands you the mug with a smile, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” “Morning. I did, thanks. How about you?” He nods, taking a seat at his desk. “Do you want to talk about last night?” He murmurs. You sip your coffee, shrugging at his question. “Do you?” “I mean, I'm sorry about ruining the kiss. I'll try to control myself more.” “No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have, uh, you know, touched you.” You look away from him, your face heating. “I mean, I understand but also…. it's ok if you did…. or if you wanted to…. uh…. No pressure.” He stutters, scratching at the back of his neck. You can't help but giggle, your nerves kicking in heavily. “Why?” He chuckles. “I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you. I'm just, this is just a bit awkward to talk about.” You reply. He nods, covering his face with his hands. “How can we make it not awkward?” He asks from behind his hands. “Maybe let's not talk about it beforehand. We should just let it happen naturally.” You explain. He lowers his hands, nodding at you. “Ok, you’re right let's just move on then. What do you want to do today?” “Let's just chill out, watch a movie or play a video game. We can head back to my place.” “Ok, well let's do that early. I don't want to hang around here too long.” “Okay, let me just shower and get dressed.” “Same.” He says, jumping up to grab clothes from his dresser to pack.  

You watch as he neatly folds his things and places them into his duffle bag. He soon turns to you. “You can shower first Y/N, it'll give me time to get my stuff together.” You smile, grabbing your duffle and heading into the restroom. You exit fully dressed and ready to go, frowning when you hear Yoongi arguing with his mother. “You are never home!” “You never make it so I want to be home!” “How happy then you will be to move out and into the dorms? Finally, away from your terrible mother.” “I’m counting down the days!” He shouts, stomping up the stairs and into the bedroom. You lock eyes and he just shakes his head. “I'll be quick.” He grumbles, heading into the restroom.  

You both head down the stairs to leave, Yoongi’s mother in the kitchen staring at you. “Have a good day.” You wave at her. She simply nods, turning away as you both walk out. “You know you don’t have to try so hard. She doesn’t care.” “I’ve known her since I was a little kid. Of course, I have to try. My mother would kill me if she found out I was anything but respectful to your mom.” “My mom loves you Y/N, things have just been tough at home.” “I know Yoongi, you don’t have to explain. I’m sure things will blow over soon enough.” He nods, taking a seat at the bus stop. “I feel bad that she and I have grown so far apart.” He says finally. “Well, you are both pretty prideful. Someone has to give in and say I’m sorry.” “It won’t be her that’s for sure.” “Then it should be you.” He shakes his head at your suggestion. “Maybe one day but just not today.” You nod, not wanting to press anymore, luckily the bus arrives.  

You make it to your house and figure out a quick dinner, your mom texting to say she'll be working late. Yoongi, always being the kind guy he is, packs a plate for your mom to eat when she arrives home. You both clean up and head to your room. “Go kart?” You smirk at Yoongi, who nods. “You’re going to lose.” “Whatever, we shall see. Set it up, I’m gonna change into my pajamas.” You instruct, heading into your bathroom to change into a black tank top and sleep shorts. When you emerge, Yoongi is sitting on the rug at the front of the TV, the video game on, cheerful music filling the room. “Ready to lose?” He chuckles, his smile turning into a cough when he looks you over. He hands you a controller and you take a seat next to him.  

You smirk to yourself, watching from the corner of your eye as Yoongi eyeballs you, and you wonder to yourself if you will always have this effect on him. “Better keep focus Min.” You tease, getting the one up on him and taking the lead. Your avatar zooms quickly, your heart beating fast, your knuckles aching from how tightly you hold the controller. Soon your avatar passes the finish line, the game whistling to inform you both the level is over. “Woooooo!” You scream, dropping the remote and lifting your arms in the air. Yoongi rolls his eyes, nodding calmly. “Best 2 outta three.” He wagers. “OK but let’s make it interesting.” He scoffs at your remark. “Interesting how?” You feel your body heat. Getting the one up on Yoongi has your core needy. You go to set your terms when your mother bursts through the door, startling you. “Hey, thanks for dinner. I’m going to crash. It was a long day. Try to keep it down ok.” “Yeah mom, sorry.” “Night.” She winks, closing the door.

“What was I saying?” You look back at Yoongi. “You wanted to make things interesting.” “Oh yes! So, since you lost this round, I want your shirt.” You smirk. His brow furrows and he looks down at his t-shirt, laughing nervously. “I’m not wearing anything underneath.” You shrug at his comment and feel your face heat when his Adam’s apple bobs with his hard swallow. He chuckles again and grabs the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. He tosses it to you, his gorgeous skin on display, and you drop it in front of you happily. “Next round is mine.” He warns, grabbing his remote. You begin the next round and find yourself hyper focused on winning. Your hands are aching, not as large as Yoongi’s who can grip the control with ease. You squeal excitedly, in the lead. Yoongi grumbles under his breath, “I’m not going to lose this one!” You giggle at his words, taking your eyes away from the screen for a moment. Suddenly, Yoongi’s eyes light up and you whip your head back to the screen to see a computer player shoot a bomb at your avatar, knocking you out of first place. “No!” You whine, watching your avatar spin out of control. Yoongi whoops over and over beside you, his avatar quickly taking the lead. He leans up onto his knees, happily making noises under his breath, his avatar zooming over the finish line. He tosses his controller, throwing his arms up before pointing at you. “Told you I’d win. Take those shorts off.”

You scoff, a fit of adrenaline riddled giggles soon taking over you. You stand, tucking your thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and drop them to the ground, using your foot to kick them over to him. He holds them for a moment in his arms, staring at you in your lacey black thong. You adjust the straps higher up on your full hips, slowly squatting down and sitting on your feet, your ass on full display for him. “Next round is mine.” You point at him. He doesn’t speak, unable to pull his gaze away from your plump behind. His eyes tracing your every outline, making your core burn with desire. “Focus Min, I want to win fair and square.” You say, grabbing the controller and setting up the next round. He grabs his controller, his eyes still taking you in. You’d be lying if you said that having his eyes on you wasn’t the best feeling in the world right now. You felt your arousal push pass your slit, wetting the fabric of your thong. You start the level and chuckle to yourself at the fact that you both are barely putting in an effort.  

You see Yoongi's avatar speed up suddenly and so you decide to slow down, letting him win! “Ha,” He exclaims, “I win!” “I guess you do.” You shrug. His excitement soon fades, and He looks over your body again. “Um, well there’s not much to ask for.” He whispers, scratching the back of his neck. “You sure? Maybe you aren’t being creative enough.” You tell him, crawling over and locking lips with his. He moans, melting into the kiss. You pull away briefly to take in his needy look. “Don’t stop." He almost begs, leaning forward to kiss you again. You deepen the kiss, straddling him. Your cunt aching when he swirls his tongue around yours. His hands find purchase at your lower back, his fingertips fiddling with the fabric of your tank. You break the kiss again, “Do you want me to take it off?” His eyes widen and he stutters over what to say but the twitch in his pants give him away.

You sit up a bit at the feeling of his member pressing into you, his cheeks reddening, “I’m sorry.” He whispers. You shake your head, “It’s ok. I like how it feels.” You rock a bit in his lap, watching how his mouth falls open and his grip on your back tightens. “Is this, ok?” You ask in the hopes he’ll say yes, the friction against your yearning sex just what you need. He doesn’t speak, just nods, his hands falling to your hips. He tucks his slender fingers under the straps of your thong, gripping at your flesh before aiding you back and forth across his clothed erection. You mewl at the amazing feeling that slowly builds deep inside you. “Do.... do you like this?” He pants. You nod, moving your hips faster. He lets a soft moan escape and you’re quick to shush him for fear your mother will hear.

He bites his lower lip to keep from being too noisy and you find yourself trying hard to grind against him. You groan annoyed at how difficult it is to keep a good pace on the floor, your knees digging into the rug. “Let’s move to the bed.” You urge, standing. Yoongi hops up and follows you towards the bed. You sit down watching him approach, his erection creating a tent like effect at the front of his jeans. You swallow back you lust for him, rubbing your thighs together. “Do you want to take your jeans off?” He looks down at himself and back at you, his face and neck reddening. “Do you want me to? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You nod, feeling so overwhelmingly horny that you reach for his belt and begin to undo his pant. “Fuck Y/N.... I.... this has never happened before. I’m freaking out a bit.” “Me too,” You reassure him, “If you want me to stop at any time, just tell me.” He shakes his head, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he watches you tug his jeans down.  

“Lie back.” You instruct. Yoongi shakily does as he’s told, groaning when you straddle him again. You moan lustfully at how amazing his clothed manhood feels against your clothed womanhood, so much better than any pillow. You want so badly to wildly grind against him, desperate for release. He has his hands on your thighs, his eyes fixed on you, waiting for your instructions. You lick your lips, an even naughtier thought coming to your mind. You slide back a bit, palming him gently, mewling at how incredible he feels in your hand even clothed. He releases a deep breath, his eyes closing shut at the feeling. “Do you like this?” You question even though you know his answer. He simply nods. Your body shivers at the sounds of his moaning. A surge of needy lust coursing through you. You grip his heavy manhood before nestling yourself into his lap again. You roll your hips into his. “Oh god!” He almost yells. “Shh! Try to be quiet.” You lean in to whisper in his ear. “Pl-please, go faster.” He begs and you nod, moving your hips in quick flicks across his erection.  

“Do, do you like this?” He groans. “It’s nice. I like watching you.” You admit. He smiles seductively, wrapping an arm around your waist and flipping you onto your back. “I want you to like it too.” He whispers, shoving his erection into your soaked center. You can't help but hitch forward, dry humping your needy bud into his length. You moan quietly into his ear, reveling in the gentle kisses he traces along your collar bone and neck. Your skin begins to goose at the feeling of his soft lips against your hot skin. Your body burning as it nears your climax. “Yoongiiii, touch me.” You cry out. He stops completely, hovering over you and staring at your face. “Oh, Y/N, I want to, I’m just nervous. Maybe if you don’t mind, we can we try something else? If you don’t like it, we can stop.” “OK, yeah, what did you have in mind?” He bites his lip and you’ve never felt more turned on. “Show me how you make yourself cum.” He whispers. “Are you serious?” You giggle a bit. “Yeah, um, it’s a fantasy of mine. Like I want to see you touch yourself. I'll do it to. If you want to.” He whispers, his eyes fired with lust as he leans in for a kiss. You nod, running your hand into his hair. Your tongues swirling around one another in desperate fury.

“Should I stay lying back?” You ask. Yoongi shrugs. “Are you comfortable this way?” You nod in response. “Ok. I can do whatever.” He explains, leaning back on his heels, still nestled between your legs. You both watch each other. One waiting for the other to make the first move. You bite your lip, dying for release. “Show me your cock.” Yoongi's eyes widen, and he chuckles nervously. “Fuck, that's so hot. I've never heard you talk like that. I'm so horny right now. I want you. I want you so bad. Show me too. Um, I want to see your…uh….” “Pussy.” You finish his sentence. He groans deeply, palming himself with a needy nod. You let out a shaky breath at the sight of him already touching himself. “You’re so beautiful Y/N, do you know that? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.” He confesses, gripping your thigh. “Oh Yoongi.” You whimper, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his sweet pout. He takes over the kiss immediately, suckling on your tongue and soon your lips.  

You can't take it anymore and reach into his underwear. You wrap your hands around his length, swallowing the desperate whine that leaves his throat. You begin stroking him from root to tip ever so slowly. You’ve watched porn before and had always seen the women in them start this way. You break away from the kiss to look down at his member, never having seen one up close before. He’s long, thick, and veiny. The tip the same pink as his lips. Your mouth hangs open as you watch yourself work and you soak yourself even more. Yoongi looks down also, his breathing erratic, soft moans leaving his kiss swollen pout. “Just like that, that’s so good.” He praises, reaching back to squeeze your ass. You marvel at the sticky pre-cum that spills from his reddening tip, licking your lips when it’s dribbles down onto your hand. “Fuckkkk.... this feels so amazing. You sure this.... is.... your first time doing this?” You nod at his question, your chest filling with pride. “Lie back, Y/N.” He instructs, grabbing his cock from your grasp. You nod, doing as your told and lying back. You release a shuddered breath at the sight of him stroking just his tip. His head falls back and he’s a moaning mess. His chest rises and falls so fast, you wonder if he'll hyperventilate. “Take your thong off Y/N.” You do as your told, bending your knees to your chest to remove the sticky fabric from your saturated core. You chuck the material to the side, parting your legs slowly on either side of a knelt down Yoongi.

“Fuck....she's gorgeous. Sss- So fucking wet. She’s practically glistening.” Yoongi stutters. You bite your lip, lowering a hand to glide your fingers through your slit. “I’m so wet for you.” You pant, grinding against your own hand. He shudders, watching your fingers maneuver through your slick folds. He begins to stroke himself in slowly, his eyes fixed on your core. Your mouth falls open and you widen your legs to give him more of a view. “Oh, fuck Y/N! You’re so wet. Watching you is so fucking hot.” He breathes desperately. You glide a finger through your slit, collecting your juices, and rubbing soft circles on your swollen nub. All the while Yoongi continues stroking the whole of his length, focusing on his tip with quick circular motions. You both moan out loud, unable to keep your eyes off your respective roaming hands.

You begin to pick up speed, rubbing larger circles against your clit, eliciting a long low moan from your lips. “God, Y/N. Watching you is better than any porn,” He whispers, hitching his hips upwards into his clenched fist at the same pace in which your fingers move, “I love watching you. I can’t take my eyes off of you. You’re so gorgeous.” “Ah, Yoongi. I’m so close.” “Shit baby. This feels so good, so fucking good. I’m not going to last much longer either.” You lock eyes with him and soon begin rocking against your fingers. Yoongi tightens his grip around his length and you watch his expression of lust turn to desperation. “Fuck Y/N, I can’t hold it. I’m going to cum baby.” Something about him announcing his climax brings about your own climax. “Yes, cum Yoongi, cum. Cum on my belly. I’m going to cum too.” You mewl, lifting your tank to expose your belly. “Oh, fuck! Really? That so fucking….” He is unable to finish his sentence, your orgasm striking you like a ton of bricks. His eyes widen watching you bite your lip hard to keep from screaming, never having cum so hard in your life. Your back arches, looking up just as Yoongi moans out, spurts of white shooting from his tip onto your expose tummy. You gasp at the amount of fluid one person can produce but at the same you are so turned on by it.  

He soon slows his movements, leaning in to kiss you. “That was just, wow. Are you ok?” “Yeah, are you?” Yoongi chuckles at your question, kissing you again. “It was so great.” You both find yourself giggling. “Good thing your mom didn’t pop in, or we’d be dead!” “No shit!” “I made a mess. I’m sorry. Let me grab a towel and I’ll clean all this up.” Yoongi offers, kissing you again. He gets up, tucking himself away, walking towards your bathroom. You look down at your messy belly thinking of how girls in porn love the taste of cum. You swirl your finger in his seed, bringing your hand up to your nose to smell it. The scent is distinct, almost reminding you of cake batter. You drop your hand immediately when you hear Yoongi come out of the restroom with a wet washcloth. “You sure you ok?” He asks again. “Yeah, I’m good. I was just so overcome by like hormones I guess.” “That’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with that. Besides we are supposed to be here to help each other out so don’t feel weird or anything. You can always ask me to you know.” He smirks, wiggling his fingers in front of his face. You slap his arm, laughing out loud. He carefully cleans his mess from your abdomen, folding the towel up and chucking it in your laundry bin. “I think I’m going to shower actually.” You tell him. “Ok sure.” He plops back on the bed. “Wanna join me?” You offer. His eyes pop open and he leans up quickly. “Uh, seriously?” You start heading off to the restroom, turning to face him. “Well? You coming?” He leaps off the bed and runs into the bathroom after you.

[laboflove]

Oikawa & Iwa X FR

•Aged up•

Word Count- 2363

❗Warnings❗{Smut, angst, praising, infatuation, ridiculing, cheating, body shaming}

A/N: Thicc Y/N who's dating Oikawa and although he says he loves her it doesnt seem that way.

He smiles as he sees your eyebrows pushed together, you were always so cute when you were angry, he just wanted to keep making fun of you to see that face. "Tooru" you suddenly say making his smile fade, "Yeah?" He says confused and your phone buzzes, "Nevermind, I have to go, Iwa is here" you say then kiss his cheek before leaving.

A frown forms on his face as he sees you walk off, you were always hanging out with Iwaizumi. It made him mad because you were HIS girlfriend not Iwaizumi's. He huffs then leaves as well, whatever, hed just make you remember how great it is to date him.

You walk in to find him on your bed and he smiles, "Hey" you both say, you climb onto the bed forgetting about today at work and he pulls you onto his chest. "Did you gain weight? Damn" he says with a chuckle making the thoughts come back, "I think, I'll lose it dont worry" you whisper as you move off and onto the side.

He pulls you close, his hands trailing your body making you anxious, you werent skinny like other girls, you had curves and Oikawa would always tease you about it, middle school to now and you always tried to lose weight but youd gain it back. An endless cycle and honestly the last thing you wanted right now was for him to be touching you like this.

Yet you dont stop him, instead closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep but his hands get more touchy, soon enough spreading your legs. "Not tonight Tooru" and his frown appears again, that's the second time this week you've called him that. "Okay" he says then turns around and you both fall asleep, one angry and confused and the other filled with dark thoughts.

"I just dont understand, shes been calling me Tooru this entire week, why?" He says as he passes the ball to Iwa, "Its your name" He says making him huff. He knew it was his name but you've never called him that before, so why now?!

"I dont like it, she never calls me that so why now? Did I do something wrong?" He says and Iwa stops, "You always make fun of her, im surprised she hasn't dumped you yet" and Oikawa's mouth goes dry. His biggest worry, something he never wants to happen, for you two to break up, you meant everything to him, youd always lift him up, give him pointers and take care of him. You couldn't leave him, you're all he had.

"S-she knows I'm just kidding, I don't mean any of it" he says then the ball flies towards him, "Iwa-!", "It always sounds like you mean it, you tell her shes fat, that shes not pretty enough, that she isnt smart, terrible shit but you never say that you're just kidding. Even then you shouldnt say shit like that to someone who already deals with criticism as it is, you especially shouldn't say it to her because shes your goddam girlfriend" he leaves and Oikawa clenches his fists.

"Hey!" And he looks back, "Do you like her?!" He yells out earning a nod making his blood boil, "I've liked her since middle school, even more in high school and the most right now, but she made the stupidest decision on dating you" and he walks off again.

"Youd never leave me right?" He asks as he rests his head on your chest, you dont answer making him look up with dim eyes, "You would?" He asks and you sigh, "If something were to happen yes but just breaking up with you for no reason would not happen" and he nods. "Um, what would be the reason?" He whispers remembering the conversation with Iwa, "If one of us cheats, I'd never do it but well..." you stop and he looks up at you.

"I-im sorry, I'll never hurt you like that ever again, so please dont leave me" you nod then place a kiss on his head.

He looks back at the tv but hes barely focusing on it, only remembering that night. He was drunk, saying terrible stuff and when he woke up he found you in front of him, sitting down, looking super tired and your eyes were so dry and red. He didnt know why till he looked around and found unfamiliar clothes, women's clothes.

You didnt talk to him about it, none of you brought it up and soon you were both back to normal but he knew that all trust created was gone.

His thoughts are broken by the familiar buzz pattern and you pull the phone to your ear, "Hey" you say with a smile, why cant you smile like that when you talk to him? Why doesnt your voice get all cute and soft with him? Why is it only with Iwa?

"Oh I'm with Oikawa" you say as your hand runs through his hair, he smiles and even more as you rest it on his cheek. "I-iwa" your hand twitches slightly and he can feel your aura change, "Dont call me until your done with that crap, God, you're worse than Oikawa" you put your phone down and he looks up at you.

"What's wrong?" He asks but you shake your head, "Its nothing, just Iwa being a bit of an asshole" he nods and you look at the tv.

"He doesnt love you, he says all that shit which he shouldnt be saying, what if he cheats on you again huh? "

You let out a sigh then close your eyes, uh oh, you're pissed.

"Hey" you hear, turning around you see them and shoot a smile, "Hey guys" you say as you slowly come to a stop. "Whatre you doing here?" One asks, "Oh uh well you know working out" you say and they nod. "Any specific reason? You look perfect already" you laugh making them confused, "Yeah right, if I was Oikawa wouldnt judge me 24/7" you say and they tilt their heads.

"Anyways, I'm gonna get back to this" you say with a small smile and they head to the other side, "Whatre you thinking?" Akaashi asks as Bokuto glares in your direction. "I'm thinking that I want to kill Oikawa", "As much as I'd love to help you do that, its illegal" he says and he huffs. "Only if i get caught".

"Whatre you doing?" He asks as his arms wrap around your waist, you step off and you smile, "Yes" you say and he rubs your stomach, it's not as squishy as before. "I finally lost 15 pounds" you whisper with a large smile and although he should be congratulating you it doesnt make sense. "Whyd you lose weight?" He asks and you look back, "For you, you wanted me to lose it remember?" You say and he looks at you in the mirror.

"I'll love you no matter what", "Haha, yeah right Mr. I want a trophy wife who's beautiful and perfect" you say then move away, his heart clenches hearing you say the words he regrets telling you. He didn't want anyone but you.

"Y-you know I love you right?" He says and you look at him, you dont say anything making his heart break. "I do Tooru, it's just hard to believe" and he looks down, "Okay".

"Y/N" he says for the thousandth time this night, "Are you even listening to me?! It's like you dont care about me! You're always off with Iwaizumi doing God knows what! Why cant you just love me! Only me!" The tears keep falling but you dont look back and you dont let a sob escape. For three days it's been like this, him finding anything to ridicule about and making sure you knew how terrible of a girlfriend you were.

You stand then look at the tree your parents gave you, well it was meant for both of you, something to resemble your love for each other, always growing and alive till death.

A sigh escapes your lips and you walks up to it, "Just as I suspec-", "If I cut this down does that mean were done too?" You ask surprising him. "What does that mean?" He asks and you turn to look at him, "I want to break up" and he looks down. You're crying, you're actually crying, hes never seen you cry, you always refused to look at him whenever you did so hes never got to see it and he wishes he never did.

"Why?", "Why? Why?! Why else Tooru?! Every second I spend with you hurts me! The love in our relationship cant even compare to the amount of pain there is! You give me so much shit and i try to be better, i try to become someone perfect for you but theres always something! I dont love Iwa like I love you! I never have! I only love you but it's like you dont think i do! Even though you're the one that cheated! You're the one that broke the trust! I should've broke up with you before!" You cover your mouth realizing what you just said and you look away.

You were right but why did you say all that stuff to him, he looks at you but quickly looks away. "I'm leaving" you say then rush past him, "W-where are you going?" He asks as he follows you upstairs, you couldn't leave, not like this. He has to say sorry, he has to fix it, he cant lose you!

"I dont know but I cant stay here" you pack stuff up as you avoid his hands, "No" he suddenly says as you reach for the front door. "Bye" you leave in a rush and he looks around, "NO! GET BACK HERE!" and he falls to ground. It actually happened, you left him, you left him and it's his fault, who's going to love him now? Who's going to help him when he gets sick and who's he going to tease?

He leans in as he holds you close, "I love you" he whispers but you stop him, "Its been two months yet you still push me away", "I didnt have sex with Tooru till we were five months in" you say but he doesnt stop, "Oh c'mon, you know you want to so ju-", "Can you stop? I'm really not in the mood for anything like this" you say as you push his hands away from your stomach and thighs.

"Oh I get it" he says as he pins your hands above your head, "You think I'm like Oikawa, that I'll point out your flaws, that I'll think you're ugly, that I dont actually want you" he says into your ear and you look away, he was right and you both knew that. "Well guess what, we all have flaws, I dont think you're ugly and damn do I want you" he kisses you hard but your squirm in his embrace.

"N-no Iwa stop" you let out with a soft moan as he rubs his knee against your clothed heat, "Why? We both want this, you just cant admit it" his tongue trails up your neck as you resist him only making him want you more. "So soft and you always smell so good" he murmurs as you grind against his knee although your mind is saying you dont want this.

"So pretty, especially these moans" desperate whines leave your mouth as he slowly undresses you, "Heh, I think we should take this to the bed" he says as he looks down at your naked body.

Your arms cover yourself as much as they can as he lifts you bridal style, "M-maybe we should wait, i-i should lose a few m-", "Shut the hell up or else I will tie you up" you nod fast and he places you on the bed. "Fuck me" you turn red seeing his eyes take you in, he reaches for his shirt and you move up to help him but he pushes you down making you bounce a bit.

"Stay right there" he undresses as you watch, once hes done he spreads your legs making your body heat up and filling you with so many emotions. "So perfect" he says as he pushes in slowly, you hiss slightly at the feeling you havent felt in such a long time. "Ah- no, Haji-!" He thrusts harder and faster making the frame hit the wall, over and over.

"So warm, so tight and it feels so good" moans leave his mouth making you bite your lip, this felt so different, way too different. "Dont think about him" he says as he thrusts hard sending your eyes wide open, "I-I dont know how he fucked you, or if hes a goddamn sub but dont! Fucking! Think about him!" He growls out with a thrust each time, feeling angry that even now you're still thinking about him. "Sorrysorrysorry!"

Pants leave his mouth as cries leave yours, "God I love you, I love you so much" he mutters as he looks at your pink cheeks and tears falling down your face, he lowers next to your ear as one hand holds your thigh as the other holds your head close to him. "I love the way you just clamp around me" his hips slow down, grinding against you, "I feel like coming every time I thrust into you, that's how good you feel" you tighten around him as the praises keep coming.

Why did this feel so good? Just his words were getting you there and it was so embarrassing that he made you feel this way. "I just cant believe that the woman I've loved since I was 13 is finally mine, that were here together and you're in my arms" he stops to kiss you and you sniffle slightly, "You can come now" a soft cry fills the room as you come and he thrusts a bit more leading to groans and a warm feeling in your core.

"You're mine, only mine".

[papirouge]

Please show me one instance where God says "incest is fine". Quickly.

First thing God did when he gathered his people after the Exodus was to forbid incest (Leviticus).

Adam and Eve children did incest (to perpetuate humankind because they stopped being immortal) but since the Fall was a punishment after they messed up it was not the initial plan God has for humankind and an awkward solution to perpetuate the race. That's why He quickly put an end to stuff.

It's absolutely hysterical how you guys LOVE make those bold statement (like the idiot who's been popping in my inbox and grasping at straw to argue the Bible says "women are inferior to men" when it doesn't) and when we ask you for evidence you start reaching or lying.

And a woman being created from ADAM has nothing to do with men boasting about anything. Again : you are so male identified you are obsessively shoving some weird competitive men vs woman aspect onto this when there's none. And if Eve being created for Adam is boasting material for men, then why shouldn't we women boast about being able to create every other human in History? There's a literal verse establishing the reciprocity of men/women coming from each other : "In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman." Men are women are literally interdependent on a biblical perspective.

And don't you dare backtracking about the nasty shit you said about Lot. We're not talking about what's more likely to happen, we're talking about what the Bible actually says. LOT DAUGHTERS RAPED HIM. PERIOD. If you hate incest so much, than you should give them as much accountability as for any other incestuous prick in the Bible.

If you're willing to take at face value what the Bible says when it comes to war and killing women & children, keep the same energy for everything else. Otherwise you're just an hypocrite.

"God has foresight and somehow and somehow was fine and dandy with those things" God letting things happen ≠ being ok with it. You guys would be the same to seethe against God if He retrieved from us our freewill overnight and forced us to do ONLY what pleases Him, so please shut up.

And last, you read about Job suffering and made it all about his wife (who left him in his struggle) and his children who died not by his own fault, only to paint them like the only victim. This reeks some bold ass victim blaming, but ok sis you so smart and compassionate 💖

"He got awarded a new wife and children " you forgot the part when his wife dumped him because he got sick & poor but God forbid this man dares finding happiness again after his wife left him and lost his whole family, right?? There wouldn't be a wife to replace if she didn't leave, genius. And I'm genuinely confused why you're so mad at him having other children after his were dead - again, not by his own fault.

"you're making all about his suffering" yeah bc the book of Job IS abt his suffering - what do you want me to do, make shit up about his wife or children's life that we barely have any information about??

Being being so ignorant you sound so unnecessary bitter. Not surprising from a bible hater.

me: many radfem are racists and I understand gendercrit women distancing themselves from that movement :/ radfem : that's not what radical feminism is!! please educate yourself about what radical feminism stands for!!

radfem : Christianism hates women and consider them inferior to men me, a Christian : give me one (1) verse in the Bible telling that women are inferior to men radfem: .........anyway, Christianism hates women and consider them as inferior to men

[britishsass]

oh quike question what dialogue would you have for your maligula!augustus au?

Well, the majority of my dialogue and writing for it can be found in these stories, in this order:

1. Inner Storm (the moment that things get to the point of creating the whole storm, mostly.)

2. The Drowned Circus (The start of Augustus's mind, the majority of the story section that would be interesting to dwell on)

3. The Big Top (The final boss fight, though it was rushed-- I've already spoken on what I'd like to change about it if I ever make another draft of this bit!)

4. Rainclouds Come to Play Again (A post-canon segment of Raz and Augustus coming to terms with what happened.)

However, I assume you're looking for some more, so let's do that, shall we? Click the read more-- If you're ready, that is ;) I went off on both the darkest bits of the au (Torture, manipulation, all that stuff) as well as the brightest moment (Intern sleepover!) so it's got a lot of emotions here.

First, let me just point out what my favorite lines are so far. Because I think I deserve that.

From Inner Storm:

“Oh, good, you showed up. Hurry up and help me already.” “No.”

~

"Your family is dead." He stumbled away, his mind reeling. No. No, they can't be dead. They can't be. "Drowned. All of them." Shut up. Shut up. "And it's easy to tell whose fault that is." Shut up!

The Drowned Circus doesn't have any standout lines to me, so let's carry on to The Big Top:

“They’re dead. You’re only creating them here to push that fact away.” The monster took on a different voice-- Gristol’s-- as it mocked him. “You’re just a murderer, just like Auntie Maligula, aren’t you.” “Be quiet--” “Just a murderer. And you think that anyone else would ever come to--”

~

“You’ll never be rid of me, Augustus,” the monster hissed.

TBH, I just get shivers from not!augustus as is, heh. Let's move on to Rainclouds Come to Play Again!

“I… I don’t want others to look at you like your Nona and me.” “Dad…” “We’ve made some big mistakes. I… I thought I’d lost you, Raz.”

~

“...I’m not sure I’m a good person anymore. I’ve failed a lot as a parent.” “So?”

Alright, now that we've gone through what there already is, I'll finally give you some more.

Gristol and Augustus:

I already have the first scene of the two of them written up, but I really want to keep that secret for now-- I'm holding onto that for when I manage to write the whole story. However, I'll post one section of that and then two of later sections for them!

"Leave my children alone. They've done nothing to hurt you." "No, no, they haven't. But you have. You've already abandoned me once, Gus. One strike against you. You're lucky I'm merciful."

~

"...how long have I been here?" "Oh, trust me, it's long enough that they've noticed. A missing father, how sad. The thing is, you're not the one the psychonauts are worried about. No, they're worried about your so-called mother. They're worried about the head of the psychonauts. And most of all..." Gristol's mouth twisted into a sneer. "They're worried about their darling little newbie. Razputin Aquato, already getting himself into trouble. Doing everything he shouldn't. I've never found someone so... gullible."

~

Augustus's body felt weak, and he barely managed to rip the water from the air to give himself something to drink, to barely fix the parched skin of his throat. Just as he managed to reach the stream with his mouth, about to drink it out of the air in desperation to survive, the door slammed open, ruining his concentration, dropping the water he had worked so hard to summon. "Hey, Gussy, guess who they found?" Gristol sing-songed, grinning wide. "I... I don't..." Augustus managed, but Gristol spoke over him. "They found Maligula. Your darling auntie. You know, if I didn't know better, I'd try to get her on our side too." "I... I'm not..." "Do you like having living family?" Augustus stopped fighting immediately, his whole body shaking with desperation, and Gristol draped a heavy coat around him, too heavy for his exhausted shoulders to hold it up. He fell even more limp in the chair, his tired eyes watching the gzar-to-be. Razputin, Dion, Frazie, Queepie, Mirtala, Lucrecia... Donatella... My family... I'm so sorry. It's you or me... and I'd rather you be safe.

~

Raz and the Interns

I very specifically wanted them to have more impact in this au! For instance, Norma is the one to lead Augustus to Gristol, and Lizzie is the first to see Augustus after the breakdown. They realize that Augustus is missing, and they work with Raz to try to find out where he is.

"What... Your dad's missing too?" Adam asked, his voice soft. Raz nodded, sniffling, and the older boy sat on his bunk, patting his back. "...I'm sorry, Raz. I don't know what that's like, but... I know what it's like to miss people." "Missing? You sure he didn't get lost or something? This place is a bit of a maze to new folks--" "Morris, shut up." "You're not the boss, man." Morris swung his body into his chair, levitating his way over to Raz's bed as well. "Listen, dude. We're on your side here, okay? My Abuela would kill me if she knew I didn't help at times like this. But we can't do this without sleep, right?" Raz managed to nod to that, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. "Hey, if you're having a sleepover, then you need to invite me!" Sam called from the doorway, and she ran in, flopping down on Raz's bed. "What're we doing? Talking about cute girls? Talking about hair? What do guys do at sleepovers anyways?" "New kid's dad went missing." "Missing? Oh, geez, kid... That's a lot, isn't it? You just got here..." Sam groaned, and she rolled over. "Want me to get the girls? We can have a real sleepover or a rescue mission-- I can get my--" "It's okay. We... we can do it in the morning," Raz managed. "Please." "Alright, sure, whatever floats your whale." Sam shrugged. "But I'm totally gonna have a sleepover with all of you!" "...Y'know, that actually does sound like it'd help to get your head off of this. You up for it, Pooter?" Adam asked, giving him a little nudge. After a moment, Raz nodded. "Let's do this! Operation Sleepover is underway!" Sam grinned. "Meet me in the common room of the dorms!" She took off, followed by Morris, and finally Adam. Raz took his time before extracting himself from his bed, dragging a blanket with him as he walked towards the main room. Before he could even reach the door, someone stopped him. "...Kid." Norma. "...L-listen, I... ugh, this is the worst... I might know something. But you need to promise to not tell the adults-- I'd get in big trouble!"

~

Wow. That was a bit longer than I expected, hah. Point is, I really think that this au would be great for developing the Aquatos as well as the interns, and since it'd take longer for Gristol to completely shatter Augustus's spirit than for things to go how they went in-game, the intern squad has time to work together and try to help find him! Feel free to ask about literally any scenes or to suggest dialogue of your own-- I love hearing about all of it! ^_^