#HDPekoc

[dawnryz]

I have HUGE NEWS! BookLeaf Publishing is promoting a small book of my poetry. My first book, "Smoldering Hope," is available now at Barnes & Noble and on Amazon! Please reblog!!! <3

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/smoldering-hope-hilary-pekoc/1143340296

[dawnryz]

I couldn't be more grateful for the darkness than I am today, or more excited for the coming dawn.

[dawnryz]

OPEN

the fear is hungry,

always gnawing

below the surface

of your smile.

the light is weak,

so tired of trying.

you’ve been fading

for a while.

can’t let it win.

strengthen your fortress.

slap some paint on.

smile some more.

the more you hide,

the more it eats you.

fear can’t leave

through a closed door.

a bird is singing.

you want to listen.

open a window.

let in the air.

you’re vulnerable,

afraid to be open,

but fear flew away

when you let yourself care.

HDPekoc 12/15/2023

[dawnryz]

Never Be Upset about the Opportunity to Take a Walk   

I pulled up to my building and groaned. Our gravel parking lot has one space for each of the four apartments. Three cars were parked there with the middle car straddling two spaces, so there was no spot for my small SUV. Trying to park here was increasingly frustrating; some of the new neighbors kept putting their two big trucks in our lot. I had met them a few days before, and they’d stopped using our spaces after I’d explained they were assigned to specific tenants. Today I didn’t recognize the vehicles that were parked in my way. I opened the car door, fully intending to go knock on doors, find the owners, and ask them to move. 

With one foot hovering outside my vehicle, though, I noticed the irony. I had stayed late at work, tidying up my classroom with as many steps back and forth as possible, because I wanted to reach my step goal for the day before going home to relax. Now I was here, with the April evening sunlight streaming through the trees, ready to yell at my neighbors because I had to park a little farther away than usual. I chuckled to myself at how ridiculous it was. Then I closed the door, checked my mirrors, and reversed down the narrow road, toward the larger parking lot and the other buildings. Once there, I took a few deep breaths. In my thoughts, I had decided to chill about the parking problem and enjoy the walk up to my building on this beautiful day…but my body had not yet caught up with my thoughts. I felt jangled, stressed by the inconsistency of my “assigned” parking space, and already mentally composing an email to report this injustice to Property Management. I breathed, and let it all go. 

I enjoyed every step of that walk up the hazardously uneven steps built of railroad ties and gravel, between the laundry building and units B1-B4. I noticed that all the snow was finally gone from the big yard that faced our bedroom windows. I felt the breeze, smelled dry grass warmed by the sun, smiled at the vibrant sky and the way the lowering light made the tops of the trees glow. I felt deep peace and joy as I entered our building and climbed the stairs to C1. Letting myself in, I said hi to Faye, and she asked, “Why are you so happy?” 

HDP 4/13/2023