#HANQUOKKA | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hazeracha · 1 year ago

Text

• // I need you // •

pairing // jisung x reader

summary // you are attending one of stray kids concerts when your boyfriend desperately needs you, he needs your comfort and of course you will always be there for him.

warning // fluff, anxiety, crying

wc: 2.1k

A/N I’m back kinda, I will try to update more life again had just been a mess aha but I will try to upload more regularly again I have many works on the go that are ready to post.

Today you we’re sitting front row centre stage. Admiring your beautiful boyfriend and his friends perform on stage in front of thousands of people.

They were in their element performing, and hearing the fan's screams and chants was always their favourite part of performing in front of a crowd.

You always enjoyed watching them perform, especially Han as you know how difficult it was for him to get here and overcome his fears. Anytime you attended a concert he always made sure you knew how much he appreciated it in different ways.

Such as waving at you or sending a wink in your direction, which always made the fans around you scream even louder. If that was even possible, and argue about who he was directing it towards.

Watching the boys perform was always amazing, but getting to tell them how much you enjoyed it and your favourite parts of their performance as you all sat backstage had to be your favourite.

However today's concert seemed a little different, Han wasn’t his usual self. To the fans, he seemed his normal energetic self putting on the performance of a lifetime. You knew he was nervous about this concert, but this was normal for him and all the boys. But once they were out on stage the nerves disappeared and it was just the eight of them together, the music and the fans.

But with how much the members were checking in on him and the deep breaths he was taking you could tell something was wrong.

As the boys finished one of their songs Han walked backstage. You knew they did this sometimes for a few minutes to cool down or take a breather and many other reasons, but still at the back of your mind too couldn’t help but think something was wrong.

You waited a few minutes for Han to return but when he didn’t you had to make sure he was alright. Without even thinking you made your way through the crowd and towards the hallways which led backstage. Just as you reached the door you felt your phone vibrate.

Three words. Three words, that's all it took to make your heart shatter.

Hannie 🐿️ : I need you…

Quickly showing your pass to the staff you made your way to the waiting room, where you assumed your boyfriend would be.

Opening the door slowly you saw Han sitting on one of the couches with his head in one hand and the other gripping his phone tightly. You could see your contact on his phone as if he was about to call you but just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” You kept your voice low as you approached him and took a seat beside his trembling body.

“What do you need me to do?” This was a question you always asked because sometimes he needs you to talk to him or touch him to distract himself. Other times he needs space and silence to collect his thoughts as he could become overwhelmed with everything going on around him.

“You, I just need you. I don’t know why I feel like this. I should be out there performing, Chan Hyung is going to be so mad at me” his voice was weak and trembling. But the more he spoke the more his mind was going into overdrive. You took his phone from his hand and set it on the table in front of you.

“That’s okay baby, you don’t need a reason to feel sad sometimes it just happens. You are probably just feeling a little overheated from the concert. As for Chan, he’s not going to be mad at you. He’ll understand. I’m going to get you a drink of water from the other room. I’m going to leave but I will be back in two seconds. Is that okay?” Han replied with a nod of his head.

You stood up placing a small kiss to the top of his head and making your way to the vending machine that was next door.

Two seconds, two seconds that’s how long you were gone for. But in those few seconds, Han’s condition changed dramatically. He was no longer crying, instead, his hands were shaking and his leg was bouncing uncontrollably. He looked up at you with bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The sight broke you and the only thing you could focus on in that moment was helping him.

“I stopped crying and then I… I… well…. I don’t know I couldn’t stop it. I tried... I really did. This hasn’t happened in so long. I feel like I can’t… I ca- I can’t breathe” he continued to ramble as you sat beside him.

“Yes you can baby. You can. Just take deep breaths with me okay? Deep breath I-“

“NO! I can’t” Han's voice interrupted you harshly. “I can’t breathe!” He tried to take deep breaths but they came out shaky and inconsistent.

“Let me help you then. Is it okay if I touch you?” You asked him and without a second thought, he nodded his head in desperation.

You started by unbuttoning his shirt and taking off his mic pack. You also grabbed his headphones from his bag connecting them to your phone. You placed them on his head and began playing one of the playlists you made him for moments like this.

Taking his hand in yours you began to check his pulse and tapped on his thigh every time you felt his pulse under your finger. This always helped reassure him that he was okay and nothing was wrong. It also helped him to feel the speed of his heart rate so that he could try and slow it down.

After sitting in silence for around ten minutes Han finally opened his eyes and took one last deep breath. You took the headphones off his head and let go of his hand.

“How are you feeling?” You asked opening the bottle of water you had brought him and handing it to him.

“A little better, can you do something for me?” He replied after taking a sip of his water. You nodded your head and waited for his response.

“Can you cuddle me please” he responded.

“Of course I can. Come here” You opened your arms for him as he lay his head on your chest and wrapped his arms around your waist. You placed a kiss on top of his hair and rubbed small circles on his back.

“Can we stay like this for a little bit before I go back on stage” his voice was muffled as he spoke into your chest. You were a bit shocked but at the end of the day, it was his choice. If he wanted to go on stage then that was his decision. But you still wanted to make sure he knew he had options and didn’t feel forced or like he needed to go out for anyone but himself.

“Are you sure you want to go back on stage? You know you don’t have to. The boys will understand and so will Stay.” You reassured him as you rubbed his back.

“No. I have to. I need to back out and show everyone in okay.”

“Only if you are sure and you feel ready. I don’t want you to think you are being forced and are doing something that will make you uncomfortable” he nodded his head at your words as he untangled himself from your grasp and stood up from the couch.

“Can you help me get ready I don’t want to talk with the staff right now” he pouted as he looked down at you.

“Hold on, I thought you said one more thing” you joked standing up from the couch.

“Oh yeah. I’m sorry I’ll just go and ask one of the sta-“

“Baby, I’m joking of course I’ll help you” You grabbed his face to stop him from talking and kissed his lips. “I’ll go and ask the staff what they need and I’ll be back”

You walked back into the waiting room a few minutes later holding clothes and make-up. The staff has talked you through everything and what you need to do to fix it. Hopefully, your knowledge of doing your own make-up for years was enough, but the staff also told you that Han should know how to help you.

You let Han get changed first and hung up the outfit he was wearing so it didn’t crease. You would not want to be the reason one of their outfits which cost hundreds if not thousands got ruined. You helped him fix the hood of his jumper and tuck up the bottom of his jeans so they weren’t dragging and so he didn’t fall. Because you knew how clumsy he could be sometimes.

“Come sit,” you said pointing to the couch you were both previously cuddled up on. You pulled over a chair and sat in front of him.

As you were applying a little concealer to his under eyes his hands found their way to the pocket of your trousers. He started to open and close the small pocket located on your thigh.

“You okay?” You asked as you applied powder to set the make-up in place.

“Yeah all good, just nervous” he answered.

“I’ll stay right here or even stand at the side of the stage in case you want to come off again. Don’t force yourself to stay up there if you feel uncomfortable” you tried to comfort him.

“I’ll be fine. I want to prove to myself and everyone that I can do this” he spoke as you nodded and made the finishing touches to his hair and make-up.

You both stood up and made your way to the stage and waited for the song to finish, before Chan came to the side of the stage. You saw Han’s body tense and you instantly reached for his hand.

“You ready to come back on?” Chan asked and Han nodded his head.

“Okay come on then” Chan said reaching for his hand. “We will talk later” he continued as he looked between you and Han.

You would usually have a talk with Chan after one of Han’s episodes so you could both learn from each other how to help him or even prevent it from happening in the first place. Han always liked to call this quality time with Mum and Dad, which always made you laugh.

You continued to watch the concert from the sidelines but soon enough it was time for the boys to wrap up the concert.

You joined them backstage in the waiting room as they got ready to go home. You told them your favourite part of the concert or rather favourite moments, as it was always impossible to pick just one.

Once they were all changed and out of their stage outfits you were joined on the couch by Han. He lay his head on your shoulder with one hand on your thigh.

After a few minutes a ray of sunshine who may also be known as Felix plopped himself on the other side of you. Felix also placed his head on your shoulder and let out a deep sigh, snuggling his head deeper into the crook of your neck.

“You okay Felix?” You asked taking his hand in yours and drawing small circles on his palm.

“Yeah, I’m just tired” he replied as you kissed the top of his head.

“Why don’t you take a quick nap whilst everyone else gets ready and the staff finish packing up”

He nodded his head and closed his eyes. You felt a nudge on your shoulder and looked down at your boyfriend to see what he wanted.

“Thank you for today. I love you so much”

“I love you too baby” You tilted his head his head up with your free hand by holding his chin and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Hey, Y/N do you not love me” Felix mumbled sleepily into your shoulder.

“Of course I do Felix. I love you so so much” you giggled shaking his hand around.

You looked up from Felix to see if the boys were nearly ready to go. They all stood with pouts on their faces pointing to themselves.

“Oh, my god. You're all ridiculous. I love you all very very much!!” You almost shouted but not loud enough to startle the sleepy boy on your shoulder.

Large smiles appeared on all their faces as they all looked at each other before running towards you in sync. It was like they had all rehearsed this before and attacked you in a cuddle pile.

“We love you too!!!” They all said….

One thing is for sure, Felix never really got the nap he needed.

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