#Gulf being a good babysitter

[ghostofthemost141]

Serene

Chapter 5

Ch.1. Ch.2. Ch.3. Ch.4. Ch.5. Ch.6. Ch.7.

Pairing: Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish xF!Reader

Word Count: 1,747

About: You were on vacation to the beach and you think you're about to die when you're caught in a riptide until an unlikely hero comes to your rescue. Precisely a Scottish man that bores a tail. And now, you two are secretly seeing each other.

!Warnings!: None

Italics means Third Person POV

Notes: Sorry if this one is short! Just wanted to get something out there. I hope everyone has a great holiday!

I could not believe what I was hearing right now. 

“What do you mean I am putting him in danger?” I snared, demanding answers. 

Simon just stood there, peering his eyes at you. He couldn’t believe that someone like Johnny was pursuing someone so naive but love makes you do stupid things. 

“He can’t be roaming around land. It’s what he wants to do to be with you.” Simon told you, with a hint of annoyance in his tone. 

Despite his intimidating physical appearance, he didn’t intimidate you at all. You stood your ground and you were going to stand up for yourself. 

“I understand being worried about your best friend and all, but I can reassure you that Johnny is perfectly fine and capable of protecting himself. I am sure he doesn’t need a babysitter to take care of him.” I told Simon. 

You hated being mean to someone you just met, let alone someone that was in close regard to Johnny, but it’s the fact that Simon was the one stalking both you and Johnny and how he is accusing you of putting Johnny in danger, is what fuels you to stand your ground. Upon hearing that Simon’s eyes went wide, but with anger. He felt his blood boiling with anger as you said that. How dare you? He thought. All he wanted was for Johnny to be safe in the deep gulf and not be on land, but you couldn’t understand that. Simon stepped closer to you, ready to be serious and be even more intimidating. 

“Aye! How’s it goin’ you two?” A familiar voice spoke out.

Both Simon and I turned to find Johnny approaching us. I almost stepped back, almost not recognizing him. He looked the exact same as he did except he has fucking legs. His legs were toned and muscular just like his upper half. He wore a white tank top with camo shorts, white socks, and black shoes. It was almost surreal to see him as human. Almost like I was longing to see him as a human. He looks so damn good as a human. Once Johnny got close to us, I huddled up close to him, feeling safe close to him and he immediately wrapped his arm around me, bringing me even closer to him. 

“We’re good. Just meeting your best buddy Simon for the first time. Right, Simon?” I say, staring deep into his dark brown eyes. 

“Yes. Yes we are.” Simon said with no hesitation, fixing his tone for Johnny. 

“That’s good, that’s good, I’m glad. Do we want to go grab some grub together?” Johnny suggested. 

Please say no, please say no, please say no, please say-

“No thanks. I’d love to but I’ve got important matters to deal with today.” Simon answered. 

Thank God. 

“Oh alrigh’ then. Well, it was good to see you Simon.” Johnny said. 

“You too, Simon.” 

Simon’s eyes go to pierce yours. Even though he was playing a nice act, you knew there was more to it. He was not happy with you. 

��It was nice to meet you, Dove.” 

“You too, Simon.” I said. 

With that, Simon immediately turned around, walked away and hurried out of the store, leaving you and Johnny alone. 

“Oh my god, Johnny, what are you?” 

You could hardly get the words out, seeing Johnny with legs. 

“What? Do I look differen?” Johnny jokes, acting shocked over his own legs. 

You chuckle at his antics. Johnny could feel that Simon scared you a little so of course he was trying to lighten the mood up a little. Simon didn’t mean to but he was awfully overprotective over Johnny. Simon could care less about ever going on land again while Johnny loves being on land. He loves people while Simon hates people, given his history with them. He understands what Simon went through but he secretly wishes he would give them a chance. Most importantly, he wishes Simon would give you a chance. 

“I mean, yeah you do. Why are you up on land today?” I asked. 

Johnny approached you closer, holding both of your hands in his and playfully swinging them side to side. 

“I wanted to see ya, bonnie. I couldn’t wait till dark out.” Johnny admitted to you. 

“I know, but I don’t want you to get in trouble with Simon.” I said. 

“Oh, don’t worry about him. He can go away n’ bile he’s head.” Johnny said. 

“Huh?” 

Johnny laughed at your reaction to his Scottish slang. 

“It means he can go fuck himself.” He explained. 

“Ah. I’ll be sure to use that.” 

“I would be honored.” Johnny said, smiling at you, making you chuckle out of being flustered. 

Johnny had this charm to him, a charm that always had you smiling ear to ear every time you were around him and you were blessed to have him in your life. 

“So, did ya have any plans today, Dove?” Johnny asked you. 

“Uh, I just finished grocery shopping for my uncle and aunt since I stayed home today from school.” I answer. 

“Why did you stay home?” 

You immediately regretted telling Johnny that, feeling his protective self coming out. 

“Cause..of my professor.” I answer. 

“I’m sorry, hen. Have you reported his arse yet?” 

“Not yet, but I am going to, I promise. I just needed a day to myself.” I reassured him. 

“Well, do you mind if I help ya finish your shoppin’? And hang out with you today?” Johnny asked. 

“No, Johnny. I don’t mind at all.” You say. 

Johnny leaned in, cupped your face, and gave you a peck on your lips, quick enough for being in public, but enough to show that he truly does love you. After the kiss, Johnny followed you around the grocery store as you finished the shopping list Ale gave you. You got to see more of his personality come out. Not only was he a charming, respectful guy, but he was also very goofy and kind hearted. He wouldn’t hesitate to make a goofy face at you to make you laugh and he would always help if someone needed something at the very top shelf. The more you saw Johnny’s personality come out, the more internal relief you felt. You knew that your uncle and aunt would like Johnny. You checked out and made yall’s way out of the grocery store, heading towards your car and Johnny helped you unload the groceries into your car. 

“Your folks home?” Johnny asked as you slammed the trunk shut. 

“No, they are both at work. I’ll tell them I am bringing a friend home.” I told him as I pulled out my phone to text Ale. 

“Can’t say boyfriend, aye?” Johnny jokes. 

“I mean, he would probably freak out if I said boyfriend without him meeting you first.” I mentioned. 

“Ah, so he’s protective?” 

“Very.” I say, sending the text, “although I didn’t mention it was Gem nor Pixie so he is gonna ask who it is for sure.” 

“Who are they?” Johnny asked. 

“My two closest friends. They are like sisters to me.” I said as I went to open the driver seat door but Johnny stopped me. 

“Let me drive.” He insisted. 

“Oh so you know how to drive?” I joke. 

“I’m half human, not a whole fish.” Johnny remarked. 

You rolled your eyes as you let Johnny get into the driver's seat and you got into the passenger seat, slipping on your seat belt and Johnny doing so as well. 

“Show me the way, hen.” 

~ 

“And this is my bedroom.” I say, hearing Johnny walk in behind me. 

Your bedroom was a typical adult woman's bedroom, but Johnny was in awe over your room. 

“Nice, nicee.” Johnny said with a smirk. 

“Really?” 

“‘eah of course, Dove. I wish I could have my own room.” Johnny mentioned. 

“I mean you could.” I say. 

“Yeah.” Johnny said as he sat down on my bed, bouncing onto it a little bit, “comfy.” 

You giggled as you sat down next to Johnny, leaning in close to him. 

“Is what Simon said true?” I ask, remembering what he said. 

“No, no, not at all, Dove. He just needs to chill the fuck out. I'm fine.” Johnny reassured me, even though the guilt still remained. 

“Well what does he mean by putting you in danger? Is there someone after you?” I ask, wrapping my arm around his. 

The size difference between us was almost comical. 

“He is just worried someone is gonna figure ou’ what I really am and try to kidnap meh and experiment on me.” Johnny told me. 

“Has that happened before?” 

“Not really. I've been spotted before by some folks but nobody cared enough to believe them. But that was a while back and in ‘nother state.” Johnny informed me. 

I nodded, taking in that information. I understand how Simon feels and I know that he wants the best for Johnny, but Johnny also should be able to live his life how he wants to live it. 

“When will ya folks be home?” Johnny asks. 

“Not for a couple of hours.” I said, glancing at my watch. 

Johnny smirked as he leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips, cupping my face as well. 

“You're so beautiful, lass.” Johnny cooed to you. You could feel your heart racing as you notice the tone change. It was intimate. Very intimate. 

“Johnny..” 

You hardly had any words as Johnny's hands started wandering all over your body. You let him, trusting him entirely as you let yourself be vulnerable to him. He was feeling you for the first time, as if this was the first time in a long time that he was intimate with someone. He then held your chin with his fingers, making you look up at him. 

“Will you let me be yours?” 

“Yes.” 

You didn't hesitate at all to answer. Johnny was happy to hear your answer as he leaned in, grazing his tongue over your lips. You let him in, softly moaning at his action as his hands locked around your hips, with your hands on your neck. You could feel the tension in the air get hotter and hotter and you never wanted this to end. You wanted it to go further so you- 

“Estrella!! I'm home, where are-” 

“Fucking Jesus.” 

You mumble as your Uncle barged into your room, seeing the current scene unfolding in front of his eyes. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[jordoalejandro]

The Thirteenth Annual List of Movies I Saw the Past Year

This was one of the better recent years for film, in my humble opinion. A lot of really excellent stuff at the top of my list. On the other hand, the gulf between the good and not so good films feels more vast this year. Not as much depth.

I think I prefer that though. I like a year where I have more A’s and C’s handed out than a year where everything is a B.

This is also my longest list ever so let’s get to it.

Here’s the list of movies I’ve seen since-ish the last Oscars (3/12/23).

77. The Re-Education of Molly Singer - This feels like a throwback to the bad, cheaply made, straight-to-DVD comedies of the 2000s. Poorly written. Jokes that barely register and often don’t really have a punchline. A janky, cliché filled plot. Forced character arcs. Even the editing feels off. This is the kind of movie that should be 90 minutes (or really 80-something) and it ends up two hours long. Fixing the pacing wouldn’t have saved it but it couldn’t have hurt. Really nothing working here at all.

76. Vacation Friends 2 - I didn’t love the first film but I had some positive feelings about it at least. There was simply no reason for a sequel other than grabbing at cash left on the table. The original was about normal people going through some fairly normal circumstances, albeit slightly heightened for comedic effect. There really wasn’t that much more left to organically explore with them. Thus, this sequel did what a lot of unnecessary comedy sequels do when they are desperate for plot and need to introduce some dramatic stakes: add a criminal element. A random drug lord who can have men with guns chase our heroes. It’s so artificial it immediately lays bare how forced this film is. (This film also does another classic bad comedy sequel thing where it brings back a character from the first film in a way that makes zero sense because they wanted to use the actor again. Here, for some reason, one of the couples has hired an employee from the Mexican hotel from the first film as a babysitter for their newborn on their trip to the Caribbean. You know: a thing that happens.) That alone makes you roll your eyes but it’s not a fatal flaw. It’s forgivable if you can still make it funny. The bigger sin this film commits is that it just doesn’t do anything funny. The jokes are almost nonexistent. They’re barely trying and absolutely none of them land. The original had some humor and some heart to at least make it a decent watch. The sequel is drained of all of that. The weird thing is I can’t say I hated anything in particular here. I just felt pretty much nothing at all through the entire runtime, which is arguably worse. Mark Mothersbaugh’s score was nice though.

75. Fool’s Paradise - It’s kind of fascinating how this film misses every major mark. It wants to be a satire about Hollywood but it’s neither sharp nor insightful. It has a storyline about friendship that is supposed to lead to the emotional climax of the film but it doesn’t ever feel earned. The characters never actually feel like friends in any way and there’s no payoff to their relationship. There’s also a little bit of a Charlie Chaplin homage going on but there isn’t really any delight or charm in it. I don’t know what happened here. Everything is off. The worst part is there are almost no laughs in the whole thing. You could get by a little easier if you could at least nail some good jokes or visual gags or something but there are maybe a few chuckles at best. Even with the crazy amount of cameos by funny people. No one can find a laugh. The film looks nice at least.

74. 65 - Ultimately, it’s a bore. It’s a lot of walking through the jungle and occasionally being attacked by dodgy CGI dinosaurs. The action isn’t very compelling. Nor the visuals and music. Nor the story. Really standard lone wolf and cub stuff. Adam Driver tries but he’s given very little to work with. It’s a step above a Syfy channel film – in budget and quality – but not a huge step.

73. Meg 2: The Trench - I started this one up thinking, “Well, I saw the first one, I might as well watch the sequel” and about twenty minutes in, I realized I wasn’t sure if I actually did see the first one. I certainly didn’t write about it. I might have watched it on HBO? Or maybe it’s one of those films you don’t actually need to watch to know exactly how it goes down beat by beat. Speaking of films you don’t actually need to watch to know exactly how they’re going to go beat by beat: Meg 2: The Trench. There are moments in this film where it realizes it’s a stupid movie and leans in and those are the best parts of the film. Page Kennedy is the only person who is at that right level throughout the whole film. Mostly, though, the movie comes off like another bad Syfy channel film, in writing and especially in CGI. It’s one of those films where nothing looks real. Not just the animals and the sets. It’s so overbearing you can’t believe in the props they’re holding. It’s so much that you actually see past the CGI in your mind's eye and see all the blue screens the actors are standing in front of. Not great for the immersion of it all.

72. About My Father - A couple of nice moments (it has a smidge more heart than I thought it would) but it’s not really funny or sharp or surprising in any way. A lot of flat scenes.

71. Ferrari - You see the title and think it’s going to be a story about the car Ferrari, right? At least half about the cars? But no, it’s really like 80% about the man Ferrari. And the man Ferrari? Not that compelling. Lots of family drama. Mostly uninteresting. Some driving, which is done well but not as good as you’ve seen in other movies (including other period piece movies made within the last five years that have Ferrari in the title). It rolls along like that for a while. And then there’s this one scene that occurs near the end that’s completely unhinged (I’m trying to be subtle to avoid any spoilers but anyone who has seen the film knows exactly which scene I’m talking about). Even though this scene is based in truth, it’s not cohesive with what we’ve seen for the previous 100 minutes. It certainly snaps you awake like no other part in the film, so there’s that at least. Then it goes right back to the family stuff and then it ends. I’m sure there’s enough interesting, unique stuff in Ferrari’s life that it could sustain a biopic but what we got was mostly his relationship drama and that’s not particularly captivating. Adam Driver and Penélope Cruz are decent in this but not great in any kind of way that would merit awards or special recognition.

70. Plane - It’s basically exactly what you expect from a 2023 Gerard Butler movie called Plane. It’s a functional action thriller that doesn’t do anything (action, character, dialogue, humor) particularly well but pieces one thing to the next and gets to the finish line.

69. Killers of the Flower Moon - There are a couple of scenes that happen early in the film: Robert De Niro’s character and Leonardo DiCaprio’s character do some scheming, and then some Native Americans are killed. I hope you enjoy these scenes because they will be repeated over and over and over and over again for the next two hours. Does it ever get interesting? No, not really. Because at its core, the film is a murder mystery-type story and we’re witnessing the entire thing from the perspective of the murderers. Are these murderers at least clever or intriguing or sympathetic in any way? No, not really. They’re dullards who get away with things because no one cares that Native Americans are being murdered. ("You're supposed to feel that frustration!" Fine, but I could probably get there in half an hour. You don't need to drag me through mud for two hours.) The final hour of this behemoth is the law and order part of the show, which is so slow it drove me to near rage. I came right up to the edge of literally shouting at the film to move along. It’s a shame that there’s apparently no one left in the entertainment industry who can tell Martin Scorsese to not make three and a half hour movies. This is a film that is technically sound, at least, and that’s why it’s not at the bottom of the list. It looks good, the writing is fine, the acting is fine (the actors don’t really get a ton to do which is weird because there is so much goddamn time to do stuff!). But it’s just so impossibly long that it becomes an endurance test more than anything, and in doing so, destroys any potential chance for me to care about what is happening in the film or to the characters. I think there’s a good story in here, one I might be interested in watching, if it’s told in, let’s say, two-ish hours. Watching this film, I found myself only wanting it to end already.

68. The Flash - Some decent pieces hidden throughout – a few clever bits or jokes, action sequences, and emotional moments – but more stuff that doesn’t work than does. An unsatisfying plot. An overload of terrible CGI to the point where it often looks like you’re watching a PS3 level video game cutscene. Cameos and Easter Eggs that are jammed in so poorly that there’s no joy in them. Mostly though, it’s just an irritating film. The dialogue often tries too hard to force a laugh. A lot of broad, lazy humor. And worst of all, Ezra Miller’s Flash, the center of the film, is flat out annoying. His awkwardness is turned to 11 and he comes off more like a romantic comedy heroine (I’m too clumsy to get my life together!) than a superhero for the first act of the film. Everything gets even worse when the teenage version of the Flash shows up and behaves, for some reason, like an eight year old hopped up on sugar. It’s not just grating, it’s bad for us as an audience to immensely dislike the film’s main character. This is a movie that feels like it was pieced together from too many visions (including producers demanding more cameos because the other studios do it) and ultimately, it’s a big mess.

67. The Machine - There’s at least some plot though it’s not particularly strong. It works well enough to keep the movie moving along. Serviceable action. The big issue is there are only a couple of genuine laughs and that’s all you’re really looking for here so to be so lacking in that department is a huge issue for the film. An okay plot and serviceable action is not enough to get by. It’s supposed to be really funny and it just isn’t.

66. Good Grief - It has its moments of humor or dialogue but just doesn’t get there for the most part. I think the writing was lacking. Not enough humor, drama isn’t gripping, emotion isn’t there. This plot was fertile ground for a good dramedy but it simply does not capitalize.

65. Polite Society - This is a movie that should be fun and breezy but it’s unfortunately very bad at maintaining any kind of momentum. The final act in particular drags horribly, gaining steam and losing it almost immediately several times, making a 1:40 movie seem much, much longer. A few good moments scattered throughout and definitely some style to it, but overall the humor and action are nowhere near the quality they should be for this to work.

64. Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire - Really generic sci-fi. You’ve got your farmer type rebels and your fascist military army and your laser rifles and CGI aliens and the one hero who can save the universe, but she’s got to pull together her ragtag group to do it. Fine. I can forgive generic if it’s executed well but this is all pretty dull. The characters aren’t interesting, heroes and villains alike. Nor the dialogue. The plot is a standard "get the team together" plot but the heroes just go place to place and have people join them without having to actually do much. Mostly they show up, watch a new character do some sci-fi business, and then that character goes “Okay, let’s go.” Even the action isn’t very good, which is generally Zack Snyder’s strength. The film is interesting to look at, at least, so he hasn’t lost that from his arsenal. But this is supposed to be the jumping off point for a new Star Wars type universe thing and I just don’t see it. I don’t care about any of the goings-on with these characters or this world. There’s nothing here that makes me even the slightest bit enthusiastic for like a dozen movies and spinoff TV shows and video games or whatever.

63. Priscilla - This is the newest addition to the “various scenes from a sad famous woman’s life” collection. It has a little bit more life to it than that but not much. Technically solid. Good looking, good music, fine acting performances. But this feels like a movie made as a direct response to Elvis because his relationship with Priscilla was a bit creepy and, in theory, it does deserve further inspection. The problem is, in practice, when you’re actually watching a two hour film about it and you’re like, no, I guess I really don’t care about any of this. For what it’s worth, the actual Priscilla (an executive producer on this project herself) doesn’t seem to fall on one side of the debate or the other too strongly. The film seems to be sending the message that there was good and bad, that the fame and drugs certainly made things worse and ruined their marriage but, well, the whole thing also ends with “I Will Always Love You” playing so… it’s complicated, I guess? I appreciate it exploring the issue as gray but then that really highlights the “who cares?” of it all. I can’t shake the feeling this was a whole film dedicated to telling me a relationship with Elvis that started when you were a child is kind of weird. Okay. Got it. Thanks.

62. You Hurt My Feelings - Too many scenes that don’t really go anywhere and too many exchanges with no punchlines. It makes it feel like the film is stretching to make its 90 minutes. There are some interesting ideas and some funny bits in here but simply not enough in terms of character or dialogue or plot.

61. A Good Person - It never reaches a level of emotion or poignancy to truly be worth the journey, especially because the journey, at its core, is a generic addiction story (read: a melodramatic, repetitive cycle of relapse and recovery). Florence Pugh is good as always and Morgan Freeman does nice work, but the film as a whole just never gets there.

60. Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget - I don’t really remember the first one. I saw it in theaters as a child and have generally positive feelings about it but that was also two-plus decades ago so I can’t say with any certainty if I liked it or if I just liked being unburdened by age. Anyway, though this sequel is fine, it doesn’t seem to me as good, in writing and style, as the original. (Or maybe it is. Again, I can barely remember.) This is a fine movie for children and I’m sure children would enjoy it. It’s not really anything that appeals to me.

59. Shazam! Fury of the Gods - A couple of funny bits (Djimon Hounsou actually gets most of the better laughs, stealing the few scenes he’s in) and serviceable though not exactly enthralling action, but it still mostly feels like an uninspired sequel. Middling villains and a plot it’s hard to connect with. A lot of murder of innocent people that doesn’t mesh with the otherwise more lighthearted tone. Two movies in and they still haven’t figured out how to make the adult and kid versions of Shazam seem like the same character. It’s a little closer in this one than in the first but adult Shazam acts like an eight year old and kid Shazam (who is 17 years old, not eight) is more serious. You feel like they’re two entities and not the same person. If I had to point the finger, I’d say it’s probably Zachary Levi’s fault. Maybe adult Shazam’s lines might match better with different readings but he plays it very much like a small child and it’s off. The director should probably be on top of this, too. All of this sounds more negative than it is. It’s mostly forgettable fluff but it’s easy enough to watch and not hate. It’s just that it’s also not going to interest anyone outside of fans of the first film.

58. Down Low - Some decent laughs but about as many misses as well. Not funny enough for what flows, plotwise, as a sort of standard dark comedy.

57. The Creator - A good looking film, in cinematography and production design. Slick. But it just could not get me to care about the characters or story. Another sci-fi flick that falls right into your typical lone wolf and cub story. It tries to provide a few cute moments to get you to buy into their relationship but mostly hopes you’ll just accept it because our main character is protecting a “child.” While that is usually enough to go on in most of these types of stories, the child here isn’t really a child. It’s a stand-in for something much more gray. The film hopes you won’t examine that gray area very much if the child says something sweet every now and then. I could maybe get there if the whole thing was executed better but our main character is only sometimes compelling and his relationship with the cub feels more obligatory than earned so I spent the last half of the movie not particularly caring if they succeed or not.

56. Nyad - There’s some of the decent stuff you expect in a story about battling nature (and yourself) to do something incredible. And the relationship between the two leads is strong (so is their acting). But the movie itself isn’t incredibly interesting as a whole. Mostly because it’s a lot of swimming, then getting hurt while swimming, then resetting, then more swimming. And repeat. Nyad goes through a The Revenant-esque series of ass kickings to the point it becomes almost humorous. Also, and this is probably mostly a personal thing, but I don’t really care about feats like this, swimming long distances and such. Of course, there are plenty of films that are about things I don’t care about and I was made to care about them by the film. Nyad never really did enough to get me to buy into why I should care whether or not she can do it. In fact, they often make her such a miserable, unlikeable character that I sometimes found myself rooting for the ocean. The problem is, if you’re not bought in to the glory of the achievement, then you’re really just watching swimming.

55. The Color Purple - I haven’t seen the original but I had a general idea of what it’s about and I sort of formed a version of the film in my head and now, having seen this version, I think I was pretty close. Lots of melodrama about being a woman and Black and poor in the South in the past. It’s not fun! This version has music, at least. A lot of enjoyable songs. Great performances (in singing and choreography). They’re the high points of the film by far and keep things lively. Honestly, another song was something to look forward to when you’re caught in the trauma and sadness parts. It’s a visually strong film as well. Good acting, with Taraji P. Henson, Fantasia Barrino, and especially Danielle Brooks doing strong work. All that said, I write a lot of these reviews and get to the end and say something like “this is coming off more negative than how I actually feel about the film.” This is sort of the opposite. All of this sounds more positive than how I felt about the film. Despite my enjoyment of the musical bits and appreciation of the acting, the film is a lot of dull melodrama. Maybe primarily that. That’s why it’s around here on the list.

54. The Super Mario Bros. Movie - I enjoyed the incorporation of musical themes from the game and some of the Easter Eggs. It’s a pleasant looking film. Colorful but not overwhelming. Is this just stuff I like about the games, though? Maybe there’s credit, at least, in the movie knowing what to pull from the games. Jack Black was good as Bowser. I’m just listing things now. It’s very much a decent kid’s movie: pretty straightforward story, basic jokes. That’s fine. It’s good to have movies for kids that aren’t torturous, but I don’t have kids so I don’t get a ton out of this.

53. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom - It’s mostly a mess. Most of it is CGI’d to hell, so much so that you start to question whether Jason Momoa is even real. The action scenes aren’t very interesting and neither is the plot. There’s a lot of flat acting in it, too. It’s not what you would call a good film. But you know what? There’s actually a decent amount of enjoyable stuff in here. Some funny lines and gags (though many that do not work). And much of the second act has Momoa reuniting with Patrick Wilson’s villain/brother character from the first film and they have a little buddy comedy thing going that works surprisingly well. Their chemistry is good. Momoa himself is very charismatic. He’s trying. He just has very little to work with. The fun stuff in the film is simply not enough to save it but it at least prevents it from being a train wreck and makes it not a miserable watch.

52. The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial - Well directed, well written (it’s based on a 1950s play which is based on a 1950s novel so it’s mostly adapted but it’s been modernized well), well acted. William Friedkin was a masterful director, and he’s able to mostly keep the film moving and the energy up. Ultimately, though, it does end up feeling like the straight up play adaptation that it is. 95% of the film takes place in one room and it’s essentially a dialogue-only film, and there’s only so much you can do to prevent it from slowing down, even as an expert director.

51. Past Lives - There’s some strong acting and good writing in parts. Moments of brilliance (mostly in the last half hour) but I need more overall. Humor, drama. Something. I’ll settle for more dialogue. It’s a movie with a lot of walking and sightseeing. Very long takes with very few lines. I appreciate letting a moment breathe but, well, let me put it like this: it's a 105 minute movie and I looked up the screenplay and it’s 85 pages long and the dialogue within is written twice, one in Korean and once in English. That’s not an equation that adds up to a fast (or really even medium) paced film.

50. Gran Turismo - Decently directed. The action scenes are well shot and have good energy. David Harbour is very good, turning what might be a cliché curmudgeonly mentor character into a charming curmudgeonly mentor character. He takes really basic lines and imbues them with some life. That’s sort of the problem with the whole script, though. It’s very basic in both plot and dialogue. (There are tons of lines that are just describing what’s happening. “Gotta catch this guy!” “Make the turn!” It’s not the worst thing but once you catch it, you don’t stop hearing it.) There are parts of this film that rise above its base level of basic-ness, but not too many.

49. Dumb Money - Credit to the filmmakers for taking a story that doesn’t really lend itself to a plot nor have any real heroes and crafting a watchable film out of it. It’s entertaining enough and has a few laughs. The second act is very repetitive as they run through the hold or sell question like half a dozen times. I don’t know if this is valid as film criticism because it’s based on me knowing a lot about this story in real life but I found myself rolling my eyes at much of the film and its attempts to oversimplify and create heroes. That’s the issue with telling a story that just happened. The full fallout of the story hasn’t occurred yet. Some of the things in the film have already aged poorly. There’s a title card at the end saying what happened to some of the characters and one says a character was still holding GameStop stock waiting to sell. The stock is like 80% lower now than it was at the peak this film presents. She’s screwed. She’s not a real person, but she does represent a lot of real people who did get caught up in the excitement of this thing and got left holding the bag when it stopped working. Again, I debate with myself if that’s a legit way to criticize a film, so I’ll put that aside and just settle on this being fine.

48. No Hard Feelings - The story, the characters, the comedy: certainly could’ve been better but still passable. They all come together to make a solid enough film with a few laughs but nothing extraordinary.

47. Strays - It has some laugh out loud moments but most of the humor is more “hah.” than actually funny. That’s a problem for a film like this which is really about the jokes more than anything. There is some heart to the film but I don’t know if it’s a strength of the writing so much as an exploitation of our feelings about dogs. That is, show us a dog being sad, then being happy, and their faces and our brains do most of the work. It’s a nice effort to try and create some depth in a film that’s mostly about dogs cussing and humping things, at least.

46. Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game - Cute and cleverly told. It has some good moments and a likability to it but not enough drama to really carry it over even its 90 minute runtime. It basically tries to get by on being cute and cleverly told and that can only get you so far. It’s solid if not spectacular.

45. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania - Just okay. It just doesn’t have the life the first two films in this series had. It misses the groundedness of those films and those side characters. A lot of time here is spent setting up the Quantum Realm and its factions and showing it all off but it’s hard to really care about all these new characters or this world which reads like a generic alien world and never feels more than a giant load of CGI. A lot could probably be forgiven if it was funnier but while it has moments of humor and creativity, it goes too long in between to forgive its weakness in other areas.

44. Rustin - A decent, if straightforward, civil rights biopic. A very strong performance from Colman Domingo at the center. Not a lot of surprises but it moves well enough for a biopic.

43. Champions - It’s a film about a curmudgeonly, washed up basketball coach who has to coach a team of young adults with learning disabilities. If you hear that premise and immediately build the film in your head, you’re probably at least 80% right. It’s done well, though. It has some heart and a few good laughs and moves well enough. I would’ve liked it more if it was funnier or tapped into something more emotional, but as is it’s decent enough.

42. Lift - It’s a sleek heist film with a decent score and it moves well which makes it quite watchable even if it’s not exactly a great film. It’s very clunky. The writing isn’t fun enough. Only really Billy Magnussen and Vincent D’Onofrio are given characters with some personality. They aren’t written particularly well but the actors make them work by leaning in. The rest of the team doesn’t offer a whole lot. Kevin Hart seems miscast. He’s playing a veteran criminal (think George Clooney in the Oceans movies) but he doesn’t fit the role well and he’s given almost nothing funny to do. More action than anything, which is not his wheelhouse. The main heist isn’t plotted particularly sharply. It sidelines most of the team at the halfway point so Hart and Gugu Mbatha-Raw can have an action romance style third act. Again, it’s not great. More than a handful of weird choices. But it didn’t exactly stop me from enjoying the ride, so I can’t really ding it too badly I guess.

41. Bank of Dave - Cute, sweet, kind of simple. Nothing too surprising. Could be funnier. Based off a true-ish story (as it says) and a lot of it feels movie-fied (some parts egregiously so) but it still mostly works and you can watch it and feel good.

40. Blue Beetle - It’s a DC origin film that’s about on par with the first Shazam. It shares some of the highlights and issues with Shazam, as well. Highlights: some good humor, fun character interactions between the heroes and the side characters. Issues: action is just okay, some darker tone shifts that don’t jibe with the lightheartedness in most of the rest of the film. The villain in this film was much weaker than Shazam but the soundtrack was much better and more memorable. Xolo Maridueña is a more charismatic lead, too. So, some give and take but I’d rate them around the same quality level.

39. Linoleum - Some interesting stuff for the first 80% of the film but a bit slow. An excellent finale, though, that sort of saves everything. In that sense, it’s sort of the opposite of a film like Don’t Worry Darling, proving a good ending can really make or break you. Linoleum’s strong, moody, emotional finish ties everything together and sheds light on what we’ve seen and makes the whole thing feel worthwhile.

Are you still with me? We’re about halfway there. Grab a snack. Let’s do a quick mid-list documentary break.

Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie is a creatively edited, sometimes difficult to watch film about the actor’s life with some strong emotional moments throughout. Parkinson’s is a hell of a disease.

The Eternal Memory is another touching, heart-wrenching film. Also not an easy watch but it finds a way to inject love and beauty into something quite bleak. Alzheimer’s is a hell of a disease.

Okay, let’s get to the top half of the list, which is longer than some previous whole lists. Why did I do this to myself?

38. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. - A cute and snappy coming of age story. Doesn’t talk down and doesn’t get too melodramatic. Some sweet moments, some funny moments. I would imagine it probably hits harder for women but I can appreciate the quality of the work.

37. The Killer - Very stylish, as David Fincher does. It moves well. Michael Fassbender is very good in the role. Tilda Swinton has a good bit role, too. It’s fun as a sort of neo-noir experience but as a story it’s not incredibly fulfilling. The setup is fun (the opening sequence which gets you right inside the killer’s mind is the high point of the film), then you get the inciting incident, and then four revenge chapters which are different enough from one another to stay fresh but not entirely compelling overall in a storytelling way. It’s similar to John Wick in that sense, though it’s a bit more artistic and less action-y than that.

36. The Marvels - Funny. Good characters. Iman Vellani, who was strong as the lead in her MCU show, does an excellent job here, able to still stand out even amongst bigger acting names. There’s a power swap thing between the three leads that is inventive and creates for some very fun action scenes. The villain is entirely forgettable, though, and the story isn’t really there either. Plus, the film is structured in a weird way. It sort of skips a first act and jumps right into act two, which makes it feel a little bit unsatisfying. Not necessarily unsatisfying as in letting the viewer down, but unsatisfying in a way that makes you feel as if you’ve just watched an episodic adventure rather than a full satisfying film story.

35. Extraction 2 - A strong follow up that shares the same strengths and weaknesses from the first. Action is really well done. There’s a 20+ minute one-shot early in the film that’s so impressive and long it almost feels arrogant. Like, it just keeps going to the point where you start thinking enough already. It also kind of makes every action piece that follows feel like a let down. Chris Hemsworth is good in the role again. The weakness, like the first, is in the story. It’s mostly there just to give reason for our heroes to run around and kill bad guys.

34. Tetris - Presented in a really clever way. It moves well. It’s movie-fied for sure and you can absolutely feel it, but it’s in service of making what’s likely a pretty dry story into something more thrilling and effective.

33. Nimona - Great looking animation. A good story. Funny. Solid voice acting. It’s mostly for children but an adult can watch it, too, and appreciate some of the jokes and not be miserable.

32. Leo - Not every bit lands but there are some very good ones that produce genuine laughs. It has some heart and sweetness to it, too. Adam Sandler does solid voice work. A lot of songs, some good, some weak. Like Nimona, a cute film for kids that parents can watch and get something out of as well.

31. May December - A fascinatingly dark film with notes of sharp satire. It’s not the most thrilling film but it keeps you engaged. Well written and directed. Well acted. Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore are good, of course, but Charles Melton is excellent as well.

30. Elemental - A well done, insightful story about immigrants. The romance story was fine but didn’t really hook me. I enjoyed the film as a whole but it just didn’t hit me in the emotions like so many Pixar films do. A good film but not one of their best.

29. John Wick: Chapter 4 - A little too long to the point where even the action scenes, which are the main attraction, start to overstay their welcome. You start to go “Okay I get it, let’s move on.” Still, the action is very well done. Fun locales. A good looking film. Even a few bits of well-employed humor. I think it’s my favorite since the first one and perhaps the best one of the series but I also say that knowing that this series is very much four movies that are fun while you’re in the ride but leave your memory almost immediately after. They are what they are.

28. Maestro - Really impressive acting from Bradley Cooper and especially Carey Mulligan. Strong directing and visuals. It’s almost told in vignettes, which makes it kind of dreamlike. Some of the vignettes really work but a lot hit your sort of standard biopic pieces and don’t do as much. Overall, it’s solid.

27. Somewhere in Queens - Decent writing, decent acting, with Laurie Metcalf giving a nice performance. Complex, nuanced characters. It’s a good family dramedy with a little bit of humor and emotion.

26. Saltburn - It’s delightfully dark and keeps you interested, even if it sort of reaches an ending that, while not bad, doesn’t land with the sort of punch you want it to. There’s something missing in character motivation and plotting that makes it feel like it’s missed the mark. Still some fun performances (especially Barry Keoghan and Rosamund Pike) and excellent cinematography and design. It works as is. It just feels like there was potential for this to be more and it didn’t get there.

25. Bottoms - Very funny, very silly. I think my main problem is that it’s such a hyper-heightened reality the film takes place in that when it comes back down to Earth and tries to have some human drama it makes me roll my eyes. Having football players kept in a cage in history class and also a sincere best friends argument feels like trying to have your cake and eat it, too. Still very fun though when it sticks to the over the top satire, which is the majority of the film.

24. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - I think part of the problem is the original three were so good and ended so perfectly, it’s really hard to find a story to make further adventures worthwhile. This one is fine, but it just doesn’t get all the way there. It doesn’t quite measure up, in basically every sense. The action, the humor – they’re there but just not totally up to par. The other thing that is a little off is that this feels very much like a modern action movie, like someone doing Indiana Jones years later. There was a pulpiness to the original three that made them feel less plastic and that’s missing here. Even with its faults, I still think this is a good film. John Williams’ music is still great and Harrison Ford still has the charisma, and there are moments where you feel the magic again. Just not enough to string together a fully great film. It leaves a better taste in my mouth than Crystal Skull, at least, even if it can’t live up to the original trilogy. Maybe it never had a chance.

23. Theater Camp - Very cute, often funny. It pokes fun at theater kids and actors but in a loving way. A sweet movie that’s an easy watch.

22. Quiz Lady - A very endearing film. Sweet, silly, funny. A little bit of heart, too. There’s certainly room for it to be funnier or more original but it works and has some good bits and fun performances.

21. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - Lots of fun. It has solid action pieces and good humor. Importantly, it finds ways to do fresh things with a sort of standard fantasy story and keeps it entertaining throughout. The writer/director team of Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley did this with their last film, Game Night, too. Take a premise that could be kind of bleh and get creative. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just write a sharp, funny script.

20. Red, White & Royal Blue - This is my token “sweet gay romcom that I have a tough time being objective about” pick. I get one of these every few years or so. It’s a very cute film with some decent humor and good flow. Sort of your standard romcom fare but it’s executed well. Should it be this high on the list, quality-wise? No, probably not. It’s not that much worse, but it’s, objectively, not that great either. I enjoyed it enough, however, to bump it up here. And it is my list after all.

19. Wonka - Like Paul King’s Paddington films, this is much better than you expect it would be or than it really needs to be. Also, like the Paddington films, this is still mostly a movie for kids so it’s only going to go so far for me. But it’s quite a delightful film. Some clever lines and gags. Good songs, though nothing iconic that will stick long term. I have to stop doubting Timothée Chalamet. When I first heard of this, I thought it was going to be a mistake, but he’s so damn charming that he’s able to pull it off. He dives headfirst into this role and gives it his all and it pays off.

18. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah - It’s similar in theme to Are You There God? but mixed a little with Mean Girls and flavored incredibly Jewishly. I found it to be a sharper, funnier, and more modern approach to those themes. The nepotism of it all is a little gross (it’s crazy that Adam Sandler’s immediate family all won major roles in this film he produced after what I’m sure was a thorough audition process) but Sunny Sandler is, in fact, quite good in the role so you can forgive it.

17. Anatomy of a Fall - Smartly written, well acted. Sandra Hüller gives a strong, subtle performance at the center of the film and Milo Machado-Graner is great in a supporting role. The film does feel a little bit like an intense, fleshed out episode Law and Order though. There’s an hour of courtroom drama in the middle that’s engaging but also mostly dialogue on dialogue. It’s similar to The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial in that there’s only so much you can do to dress that up. It’s a film that doesn’t spoon-feed you, which I appreciate. It’s confident in its ambiguity and it lets you decide where you fall, pun absolutely not intended.

16. Air - Sharp writing, moves well, good acting. Matt Damon and Viola Davis are especially strong. (Damon delivers a speech near the end of the film that is particularly affecting.) Nothing groundbreaking. Just a really well done sports/business story.

15. Next Goal Wins - Sweet, funny, and some heart as well. The story has some clunkiness and there are definitely some misses amongst the many jokes in the film, but a lot more that works than doesn’t. Michael Fassbender is very good and Oscar Kightley is excellent as the surprising heart of the film. It gives you everything you want from a feel good sports film.

14. Oppenheimer - Some great stuff but also simply too long. The film is paced well enough for a three hour film but it likely didn’t need to be three hours. The most compelling stuff, as you might imagine, is the creation and moral implications of building a world destroying bomb. Interpersonal affairs, while interesting enough still, are much less so. Good acting from Cillian Murphy and Robert Downey Jr., who really are the only ones to get enough screen time in this giant cast to truly make their mark. (I would argue though, if you wanted to trim an hour from this film, you could probably pare down Downey’s role almost entirely.) Good directing and writing, taking what might be very dry material and keeping it enthralling.

13. Barbie - I really like how many wild swings this film took for being a big budget film based on a worldwide property. Interesting characters. Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling do great work in their roles. Sharp writing. More than a few laugh out loud jokes and gags (though also a handful that fall flat). It does veer into too silly territory at some points and drags a little here and there but is able to recover, usually by taking a sharp left turn you don’t expect. Its messages are laid on thick but it’s playing to a certain younger audience so I’ll roll with it. A couple of nice humanist moments as well (which is something Greta Gerwig excels at including in her films) though nothing in the film that really cut through me emotionally.

12. Blackberry - A fairly straightforward rise and fall story of a tech company but particularly well done. Fun, smart, doesn’t drag. Good music, good style. Glenn Howerton in his wheelhouse as a barely restrained maniac and gives an excellent, memorable performance.

11. Rye Lane -  Smart, sharp writing. Strong performances from the two leads, David Jonsson and Vivian Oparah, who have great chemistry. Fun direction and editing. It rolls right along for about 75 minutes, tells its story, and then ends. This is another film where it’s like: is this, at its core, just a very cute rom com? Yes. But while it’s not reinventing the genre it is a great execution of it.

10. All of Us Strangers - A truly beautiful, haunting film about love and loss and the things we wish we could say. It’s very artsy so it certainly has its slow points where moments just breathe and breathe, but its high points are so damn high. It’s like an emotional assassin. Several scenes, especially in the back half, that just nail you right in the heart. It’s basically a four actor film - Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Jamie Bell, and Claire Foy - and each of them puts in just tremendous work, all worthy of being on my top five individual performances list.

9. Society of the Snow - “Alive - Now with real Latinos!” It’s a pretty straightforward survival film about a story that you’ve likely heard of and so there aren’t really a ton of surprises but it’s expertly made. Shot well, acted well. Tense and thrilling. Aided by a beautiful score from Michael Giacchino. It’s a brutal story but one that’s also about sacrifice and strength and hope. It’s a simple theme but it lands well, puns still completely unintended.

8. Poor Things - Absolutely fascinating from a visual and musical standpoint, as Yorgos Lanthimos does. His directing is truly excellent and matches great with Tony McNamara’s sharp writing. The film is just a bit too long. You can feel it gaining and losing momentum in the back half. Mark Ruffalo’s scenes are definitely the best in the movie and the others, while generally good, are just not as strong (with Willem Dafoe’s scenes being the strongest of the rest). Excellent acting performances from Ruffalo and Dafoe and especially Emma Stone at the center of this wild ride.

7. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - A fantastic sequel, on par with the first. Smart, funny, emotional writing, good voice acting. The visuals are excellent but often have so much happening on screen you can’t focus and have to just kind of glaze over and let it go. It’s fine – you never really feel lost – but it’s also kind of sad because there are interesting details happening that you almost literally can’t catch without stopping the movie. I was really loving this film until the final minutes. Without giving too much away, I’ll just note it basically concludes on a “to be continued…” note, stopping at what feels like the mid-point of the third act. It’s an ending that doesn’t not work but movies that end like that leave a bad taste in my mouth. Set up threads for the next film, sure, but don’t leave me hanging completely. Don’t make me leave your film with a groan. The ending was obviously not enough to make me hate the film, hence why it’s way up here on the list, but it would’ve been higher with a more complete one.

6. Leave the World Behind - A fascinating neo-paranoia thriller that’s masquerading as an apocalypse film, which is very meta in itself. It has a lot of interesting things to say about us as a society, which risks it getting preachy, but it walks the line by telling the story in a really engaging way and never sacrificing plot for message. Good acting, smart writing, and interesting directing. It doesn’t force you to a conclusion but presents you with some ideas and lets you decide.

5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - A little overstuffed but other than that a really wonderful end to this trilogy. James Gunn brings the humor, the music, the emotional beats, the action. He writes these characters and their interactions so well. I don’t know how or if this series will continue, but whoever takes it over will have a tremendous challenge trying to match Gunn. It would have been a travesty to have not let him come back and close out this chapter for these characters, and I’m so glad they got one last ride under his direction.

4. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One - It feels like there should be another dash or colon or something between Dead Reckoning and Part One, right? But that’s how they list it. I think they got self-conscious about already having too many punctuation marks in the title. One more would look ridiculous. The night after we watched this film the first time, we were going to watch another film that we’d been putting off (it appears on this list, much lower) and all I could think while navigating towards the other film was how much I just wanted to watch Dead Reckoning again instead. That’s the kind of film this is. It energizes you. It makes you want to come back for more. The action sequences are fantastic, as always. The humor is there. The visuals. The music. The franchise has had issues with villains (generally its weak point) and making the main villain of this arc a nebulous computer program isn’t really helping to remedy that. (Esai Morales is fine but unremarkable as the human face of that program.) The decision to make the villain an AI that can manipulate essentially anything adds a really nice dose of paranoia to all the proceedings but also requires a lot more heavy exposition and makes the film much more heady. Making you think a little more isn’t necessarily a bad thing for a film, but is it the right choice for a Mission: Impossible film? I’m not sure. It’s maybe better for these films to just have a MacGuffin and keep things moving. Still, this film’s nearly three hours fly by and despite it being a “part one,” it tells a full enough story to be satisfying.

3. Asteroid City - The music, production design, and cinematography are excellent as always with Wes Anderson. Strong acting from the whole ensemble in small pieces and a surprisingly strong performance by Jason Schwartzman at the center. Smart writing as well. Fast and very funny, and then movingly poignant. It’s a little inaccessible in parts. The plot is purposefully all over the place and it can make it quite difficult to parse exactly what’s going on at first glance, but I think the greater message still comes through and in a deeply emotional way, in my view at least. It really worked for me.

2. American Fiction - Tremendous writing. A strong, smart, very funny satire about media mixed with a moving family dramedy. Great acting performances all around but especially Jeffrey Wright, who is excellent as the film’s anchor, and Sterling K. Brown, who delivers a very strong supporting performance, embodying a character who’s both funny and deeply pained. Everything about this movie works.

1. The Holdovers - I guess the theme of this year’s list is “brilliant execution.” No other film for me embodies that theme this year more than The Holdovers. Yes, the film is your sort of standard “curmudgeon bonds with young person who melts his heart” tale but it is executed flawlessly. It finds the right tone immediately and never lets it slip. A pitch perfect mix of humor and drama. Heart and sorrow. Very human. Sharp writing. Brilliant acting all around. Paul Giamatti is fantastic. The too smart for his own good sad sack who is actually a human being underneath the layers of protection he puts between himself and other people. Da’Vine Joy Randolph, who, if this blog’s search function worked, you could find me singing the praises of for years, once again turns in an excellent performance. I’m so glad she’s getting big-time recognition. Dominic Sessa is great, as well, and it’s very impressive that he’s going toe to toe with these other two established actors and sticking right with them. The core three characters’ stories unfold so beautifully throughout the film, getting you to empathize with them slowly and naturally. It’s filled with great music and great visuals. You feel yourself in New England in the 1970s. I think the thing I can say most in favor of this film is that I just didn’t want it to end. It’s such a warm, wonderful story that I was actually disappointed when I felt it turning from act two to act three and starting to wrap up. In a year where I’ve complained over and over that a lot of these films are too long, this was the one film I could’ve spent much, much more time in.

Time to do some individual awards.

Best Actor

5. Jason Schwartzman, Asteroid City 4. Barry Keoghan, Saltburn 3. Andrew Scott, All of Us Strangers 2. Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction 1. Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers

Best Actress

5. Sandra Hüller, Anatomy of a Fall 4. Natalie Portman, May December 3. Margot Robbie, Barbie 2. Carey Mulligan, Maestro 1. Emma Stone, Poor Things

Best Supporting Actor

5. Paul Mescal, All of Us Strangers 4. Willem Dafoe, Poor Things 3. Glenn Howerton, Blackberry 2. Sterling K. Brown, American Fiction 1. Mark Ruffalo, Poor Things

Best Supporting Actress

5. Julianne Moore, May December 4. Rosamund Pike, Saltburn 3. Claire Foy, All of Us Strangers 2. Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple 1. Da’Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers

Best Directing

5. Emerald Fennell, Saltburn 4. J. A. Bayona, Society of the Snow 3. Yorgos Lanthimos, Poor Things 2. Wes Anderson, Asteroid City 1. Alexander Payne, The Holdovers

Best Writing

5. Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, Barbie 4. Tony McNamara, Poor Things 3. Wes Anderson, Asteroid City 2. David Hemingson, The Holdovers 1. Cord Jefferson, American Fiction

And now let’s look at the ACTORS WEB:

What a nightmare! Here’s a fun fact about the making of this graphic: I almost cried and gave up on it four or five times! I saw too many movies with too many big casts this year. A terrible mistake on my part.

Okay, that’s more than enough for this post. It’s over. We made it.

Enjoy the Oscars.

- - - - -

Read More:

Annual Lists of Movies I Saw the Past Year

[piprocrastinator]

‘Rawr’ But Make it Cute

Gulf.. Type fic

Gulf baby sits a child Type. Mew does show up as well. It’s just some cute stuff.

Length: 2525 

Gulf blinked and wide brown eyes blinked back. Gulf huffed and the tiny boy let out an equally tiny huff in reply.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Gulf says to Mew not taking his eyes of the tiny human in front of him.

Mew snort a chuckle before swooping the boy into his arms and into a hug. “Type's a great kid. You’ll be fine. I’ll be right back.”

“Four to five hours isn’t exactly ‘ right back ’” Gulf mumbles but it’s more out of nerves than sass and Mew can see it. Mew squeezes Type a bit too tight and the boy laughs loudly at the action, squealing about not being able to breathe.

“Uncle Mew.” Type says, voice high pitched and a tad screechy. GUlf frowns. “Too tight.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Mew not sounding sorry in the slightest but loosens his hold, pinching one of Types fluffy checks. (Gulf doesn’t feel the slight bubble of jealousy because Mew is fawning over someone else’s cute checks. Because he's not jealous of a child.) “But you’re just so cute I could-“ whatever Mew was going to say was cut off by more shrill laughter as Mew tickles Types sides.

Gulf watches unsettled off to the side. Mew finally sets Type back down, patting the boy on the head before Type shuffles off, an angry pout on his face, to his coloring book on the floor again.

Mew leans in and kisses Gulf's temple. “I promise it’ll be no time at all before I’m back.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Gulf tugs at the end of Mews shirt between his pointer and thumb desperately.

Mew smiles softly and Gulf feels some of his nerves settle. “Don’t worry baby. You’ll be fine. We’ve watched Type loads of times before, you know what to do.”

“You’ve watched Type, I just tagged along.” Gulf pouted. Mew's face softened as he leans in to kiss Gulf's forehead. Just as Mew pulls away his phone screams to life in his pocket.

“You’ll do great. If you need anything- I mean anything at all- call me.”

“What if you're busy?”

“Call Mild. Or Tong. Or your mom. Or my mom. Sweetie, call anyone and they'll help you but I promise,” Mew drops a quick reassuring peck to Gulf's lips. “You’ll be fine.”

Mew steps away to ruffle Type hair, the boy grumbling a goodbye as Mew leaves.

“Just us now kid.” Type turns to look at Gulf with a blank stare. It’s silent -heavy and tense. Gulf blinks. Type blinks. Then Type turns back to his coloring book without a sound. Gulf can feel the stress building and it’s literally not even been a minute.

He’s never babysat before. Technically he has but Mew had always been there with him when he had before. Mew had always been the one to take charge of the care and protection while Gulf just stood back and lent a hand when Mew needed it. He's never been alone with such a tiny human, his sole responsibility to let the kid not get hurt. The pressure.

It’s not that Gulf wasn't opposed to kids. He wasn’t. He just wasn’t... familiar with them. Mew had mentioned, on more than one occasion -read all the time- that he liked kids and wanted one (or two) in the future. He seemed to talk more and more about it when Tong adopted Type a year ago.

Mew was great with kids, probably because outside of work Mew was basically a kid himself. But what did one even do with kids? Gulf couldn't remember anything from the times before when they had babysat Type.

It was a couple of minutes of Gulf just staring at Type before Type turned to look at him again.

“Uncle Gulf." Gulf hummed in reply. "Why are you staring at me?"

Gulf shifted awkwardly in his seat. He hadn't meant to stare. "I uh...."

"Do you want to see my coloring?"

"Yeah?" Type held up the book, he wasn't very good at keeping in the lines nor choosing what colors fit well with each other. "Very nice," Gulf says instead of what he's thinking.

"Uncle Gulf?" Gulf hums again as Type sets his book back down. "I don't want to color anymore."

"What do you want to do then?"

Types face scrunches up in thought. It's very cute and Gulf can't resist reaching out and brushing some of Types hairs from his forehead.

"Football." Type exclaims jumping up.

Gulf blinks then smile, "Alright." He could do football. He helped Type into his shoes and lead him to the back yard where his ball sat by the door from a few days ago. Type immediately kicked it before running after it. Gulf followed. The makeshift goal was two sets of trees and Gulf ran in tiny steps to make it more fair for Type and his tiny legs.

Type had a particular pension for finding all the tiny rocks and uneven spots in the yard and tripping over them so Gulf spends most of the time panicking that Type was seriously hurt until the kid jumped back up to start running again. The game was mostly Type running from Gulf with hints of actual Football rules included. They played for hours, Type winning but only because he found a muddy area left by the rain yesterday and decided that he could run through it. He couldn't, he tripped and was now covered in mud. Gulf proclaimed him the winner so the game could end.

"Alright, little buddy. You won and now it's bath time." Gulf helps Type stand back up. The mud globs plopped off his shirt as they waddled out of the puddle.

"Not done yet." Type squeals, his tiny feet trying to kick at the ball but Gulf still held him up by his armpits. "Let's play."

"I think we're done for the day." Type huffs all tiny and angry, feet wriggling. "You're a mud monster buddy."

Type rawrs, hands going up like claws. "Monster."

Gulf sets the boy down away from the mud before grabbing the ball as Type tiny stomps towards it, growing. "Such a scary monster." He comments.

"Rawr." Type grabs onto Gulf leg, looking menacingly up at him. "I eat human for ball. Rawr."

"Oh no," Gulf plays along trying to wiggle his leg out of Type grasp. "The monster's going to eat me." He manages to waddle them towards the house a few steps from the door. "How about we give the monster a bath and we can eat since the monster is hungry."

"Monster hungry." Type makes some more growling noises, tugging on Gulf pant before he stops suddenly looking up at Gulf with a look of excitement. Gulf blinks at the sudden emotion change.

"Dino outfit?" He yells bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Dino ... outfit?" Gulf asks and Type nods enthusiastically before running to the door, his dirty hands sliding over the glass as he pushes it open.

"Wait, Type."

Type stops to look back, tiny huff in his direction as if annoyed with him.

"Your dirty." Type tiny eyebrows pinch together before he squeezes through the small opening he made with the door, inside the house. The next thing Gulf knows, Type is stripping in front of the door, his dirty clothes slapping wetly against the floor by the door as he dashes through the house.

Gulf jumps out of his shoes to chase after him. Type runs through the corridors, down the hall. They pass the outside door at least three times before Type slides into Mew's room. Gulf mildly panics as he throws open the door. silently praying Type isn't on Mews bed. Instead, he finds Type pulling open the bottom drawer of Mews dresser.

"Type what are -" Type flops back as the draw slides open all the way before he pulls out something green. "-doing?"

"Dino outfit." Type holds out the outfit happily, bouncing on his knees staring at Gulf.

"Ok, buddy." Gulf nudges Type off the ground and pushes him towards the bathroom. "You can wear the ... dino outfit but only if wash up first."

"Okay." Type gives him a tiny salute.

"Do you need help?"

"No, I'm a big boy I can wash myself. Silly uncle Gulf."

Gulf watches him skeptically as he tosses the dino outfit onto the sink and steps to the shower. Gulf waits until it seems like Type knows what he's doing before he slips off to gather up the boy's clothes from off the floor, throwing them in the washer so that hopefully they will be clean and dry before Mew gets home, Gulf checks the clock, in two and a half hours. He hadn't realized how long they had been outside.

He cleans up the mud drippings by the door, down the hall, and off the window before going to check on Type again who was scrubbing himself down. Letting out a breath that he wasn't drowning. A thought he wasn't entirely sure why he was having because Type was taking a shower not a bath but it was still a thought he was having nonetheless.

Gulf reheats some noodles and puts the bowl on the table as Type dashes out of the bathroom clad in his green Dino onesie. The dinosaur hood flopped over his dripping wet hair.

"I'm a Dinosaur."

"You are. A clean one too." Type nods happily, tiny stomping towards Gulf. He pretends to be scared until Type is in reach before he swoops in and plops Type into the chair. "Dinosaur needs food."

Type growls happily, "Dino is hungry."

Gulf ruffles his hair before going to check on the bathroom. He grabs a towel to rub over Type's hair as he eats. Type isn't happy about it and swats at his hands grumbling between bites.

"Uncle Gulf." Type calls, "Dino is done eating."

"Very good." Gulf clears the bowl as Type hops off the chair. "Can we watch a dinosaur movie?"

"Sure."

"Wait." Type tugs at his pant leg point towards Mews room. "You have to wear a dino outfit toooooo."

"I don't have one though."

"Yes you do." Type says exasperated. "Uncle Mew wore it with me before."

Type pushes him back into Mews room, pulling open the drawer again to pull out a much bigger piece of green cloth. "See."

Gulf plucks it from his fingers to look at it. It was almost an exact replica of the one Type was wearing, just bigger. Gulf is confused because he didn't even know Mew had this tiny outfit for Type much less a bigger one. He's not really surprised because it's very  Mew  to have something so cute and childish. He probably looks great in it too. Now Gulf wants to see Mew and Type in matching dino outfits.

"Dino dino dino." Type chanting knocked him out of his fantasies of Mew.

"Okay." Gulf sighs, "Let's get the movie set up and I have to shower first or Mew will ... -" He stops checks his words before saying, "-be very mad at me for wearing something of his while dirty."

"Obily."  Obviously . Type hadn't learned to fully say yet but his attempt was cute. "Uncle Mew says that's how you stay healthy."

"Uncle Mew is just weird, isn't he?" Gulf taps Type nose, earning him an annoyed sound.

"To the Tv." Type tiny stomps out of the room growling as he made his way to the living room. Gulf follows and starts up Jurassic park for him, setting a blanket next to him.

"I'll be right back." Type nods, already thoroughly entranced by the movie.

Gulf watches Type as he backward walks towards the bathroom. He showers the quickest he's ever showered. Drying off enough to pull on the dino onesie. It was.. adorable. Now he really really wanted to see Mew in it.

When he made it back to the living room Type was nowhere to be seen. For a second He felt nothing than the panic hit. "Type?" He yelled. Dashing into the next room, sliding into the kitchen. "Type."

"Soda." Type calls from the counter. His little feet swinging, the fridge door open and a can of soda clasp between his tiny hands.

"Type." Gulf sighed in relief, helping Type off the counter and shutting the door, "Next time just let me know buddy. That's dangerous."

Type shakes his head, "I can do it."

They walk back into the living room, the sound of the T-Rex screeched through the speakers. "I know you can but maybe next time just in case, ask for help."

Type doesn't answer just crawls back up on the couch, soda can left on the coffee table in front of them. They settle in and type sits close to Gulf, part of the way through the move his tiny body slumps over fast asleep. Gulf smiles leaning him to lay on the couch, tucking the covers up to his chin. Gulf moves lean to the other side of the couch watching the movie until he falls asleep as well.

"Gulf," Mew says in a hushed tone. Gulf grumbles, peaking open his eyes when he feels tiny fingers wiggle against his side. He can hear Types (attempted) stifled laugh.

Gulf lets out a tiny fake loud laugh, rolling away from the wiggling fingers as Type laughs loudly, proud of himself for tickling Gulf.

Gulf blinks open his eyes to see Mew smiling down at him. "I told you it would be fine."

----

It was a couple of days later when Gulf pulls on a pair of boxers before closing the drawer with his hip. He glances down the bottom drawer.

"Mew." He calls and he gets a muffled grunt in response. "I think I've decided."

"Decided?" Mew responds then appears in the doorway looking at him with a raised brow.

"We should adopt."

Mew chocks on his saliva, coughing for a moment. "What?"

"Adopt." Gulf pulls open the bottom drawer pulling out the dino onesie in Mews size. "I want to see our kids wear these matching outfits with us."

Mew's eyes get all teary and Gulf can see the emotions already stirring up in Mew. so emotional. Mew steps forwards wrapping him in a hug. "I think that would be great."

Gulf lets Mew get to hug him for a moment patting his back, consoling him before pulling back slightly, "Do you know what else would be great?"

Mew hums trying to pull Gulf back to him. Gulf snickered at Mews grumbling for snuggles.

"We should wear this while we..." Gulf wiggles his brow pointing over his shoulder to the bed.

"You wear it or I wear?"

Gulf ponders it for a minute, looing between the outfit and Mew. "I'd let a T-rex eat my ass any day."

Mew grains squeezing his eyes shut. "Don't say that."

"Godzilla can take me to pound town?" Gulf tries and Mew pushes him away and onto the bed.

"Stop talking or I'm not wearing it."

"You can tricera-top me." Mew slaps a hand over Gulf mouth, damping the laughter spilling out.

[coochiequeens]

If the new dad goes to birthday parties, the gym and walks without his wife or child to give her some time alone he is not really a good dad or husband.

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am finding it hard not to resent my husband for being able to return to normal life after the birth of our child. Don’t get me wrong, he is very active and present in our child’s life. We have a happy 4-month-old, and he is always playing with him, holding him, caring for him etc.; he’s definitely pulling his own weight where the baby is concerned. He also works full time from home, so I am happy to care for the baby while he earns money.

I think, though, that I’m realizing the massive gulf between being a primary and secondary parent. I regularly have to hold our child while going to the toilet when nobody else is around. My idea of socializing is having someone come over to hold the baby while I fold laundry. If I want to have time away from my son, I need to decide at least 24 hours before, pump milk, find a suitable babysitter and then pump while I’m out. He can just… leave and know I’m here. He’s been able to go to birthday parties, to the gym, for walks on his own, just because he wants to. And while I’m happy for him to do things that make him happy, I also resent that freedom.

Whenever I try to think of a practical change my husband could make to support me, I can never think of anything. He’s so good at responding when I ask for help. I just want to stop feeling resentful all the time. Is how I’m feeling just a normal stage of motherhood?

— Missing Spontaneity

Dear Missing,

You’re correct about the massive gulf, and your feelings are not only valid, but probably familiar to many readers (and to myself). I will start by telling you that it does get easier with each milestone of independence. Once you are no longer breastfeeding and/or pumping, leaving the baby is less of a gamble. Once he is potty trained you can ditch the cumbersome diaper bag. And so on. Some families handle these early infant days more equitably than others (or they have hired help to get them through it), but yes, in my experience this is a normal stage of motherhood for many mothers. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, because you feel tethered to the baby, and even tethered to the house.

The most important thing you can do is talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. Loss of independence is a really big adjustment for new moms, but its impact isn’t tangible and easy to see to our partners and friends. I can recall a conversation when my first son was a baby, and I asked my husband if he minded if I went over to HomeGoods or something; he looked at me like I was a crazy person when I profusely thanked him for the opportunity. I’m sure he was completely baffled by why I was so grateful to go to the store—but of course, the trip wasn’t about the destination, it was about the ability to spontaneously leave with only my wallet and keys in hand. I swear I have never felt such freedom before or since. The conversation with your husband doesn’t have to put any blame on him or ask him for any alterations of his behavior; it’s just helpful to know that, even if you can’t change certain things, someone is at least listening to you.

But is there anything you can change? Yes. Remember that it will be incremental at first. That’s OK though, because you’ll be creating habits that you can build on as your baby grows up. First, when you, your husband and baby are all in the same room, get up and leave. I don’t care what you do—pluck your eyebrows, make a coffee, pull some weeds, hide in the bathroom. You’re training yourself and your husband that parenting duties can trade off. He’ll get more solo time and practice with the baby, and you’ll get a few minutes where you can remember what it is like to be an independent human being.

The other idea is to establish a night or two where he’s the primary parent. You can do something social, or go out and run errands, or just sit around the house knowing that you don’t have to be keyed in to hear baby’s cries. This isn’t about dad “babysitting” (a phrase and concept that I know enrages many of us on principle) but rather just about recreating that sense of independence that is no longer always available to you.

Finally, you say your husband is a great helper, which is awesome. You may find, with time, that you get tired of feeling like you have to ask for help. I don’t know what the chore breakdown is in your home, or how involved your husband is in making/attending doctors appointments, beginning new milestones (like solid food), switching out the clothing sizes, and other baby-related tasks, but many women come to find a few years down the road that they got into the habit of doing all the “kid stuff” and most of the “house stuff” simply because birth and breastfeeding (and maternity leave) put them in the primary parent role from the start and they never left it. If you think that might be you in a few years, I strongly suggest doing what you can to curb those habits now. My friend really enjoyed the book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky. It might give you some ideas for ways you and your husband can ensure equitable participation in both your home and parenting responsibilities.

There is no reason for this guy to attend parties without his wife. I know the kid is young but there must be a way to either take the whole family or find a trusted sitter for a few hours like a grandparent? That’s not even trying to include his wife.

And someone should tell them about an amazing invention called .....the stroller. It’s something that will let the guy take a walk with the baby. Both get fresh air and new mom gets time to herself.

[thainews1]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley--each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in front of the TV.

"Play Nintendo until dinner's ready," she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on "NBC News Tonight," announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter and son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On "World News Tonight," Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there's a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there's a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting. See here ข่าวไทย

"Dinner's ready!" shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What's wrong with this picture?

"There's a LOT wrong with it, but it's not that easily fixable," notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator and host of "Nick News," the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

"Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn't do much to enhance the lives of adults either," says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. "We're into stretching kids' brains and there's nothing we wouldn't cover," including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. "During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed," Ellerbee recalls. "Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

"Whether it's the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they're going to be OK--that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception...nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

"My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it's really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them"

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation's children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

"Mom's taking a beating here. Where's Dad?" Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

"Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn't cut it anymore,"

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four--Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6--agrees with Ellerbee: "But Moms aren't using the TV as a babysitter because they're out getting manicures!" says the 48-year-old anchor.

"Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don't think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

"When I need the TV as a babysitter," says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, "I put on a safe video. I don't mind that my kids have watched "Pretty Woman" or "My Best Friend's Wedding" 3,000 times. I'd be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: 'Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'"

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: "You can never be vigilant enough with your kids," she says, "because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children--whether it's TV news, movies, or cartoons."

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: ""TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior...studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe."

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation's households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

"We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week," she notes, "and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!" she states with a laugh. "Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver's household is a glaring exception to the rule. "Many kids have their own TV's, VCR's and video games in their bedroom," the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

"My kids," Shriver explains, "get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I'm a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn't watch the news.

"After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There's no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they're allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon."

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: "My kids," she notes, "do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News," instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

"No subject should be off-limits," Shriver concludes, "but you must filter the news to your kids."

ABC's Peter Jennings, who reigns over "World News Tonight," the nation's most-watched evening newscast, emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: "I have two kids--Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21-- and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted," says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching news? "I don't know of any downside and I've thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids' exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don't feel they've been affected by it. The jury's still out on the sex.

"I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world--to the bestiality of man--from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn't try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime--the fact that they are innocent pawns-- and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: "I've never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age."

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: "They'll say: 'How dare you put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?' My answer is: 'Madam, that's not my problem. That's YOUR problem. It's absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home."

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation's households, this according to the Kaiser study.

"Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable," he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. "You're darn right they waited...even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it's a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life--food and drink."

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: "I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings--and it's a distraction from homework!

"My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night--and they never had TV's in their bedrooms.It's a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them...too seductive..."

Adds Ellerbee: "TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they're not doing anything else!"

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children's lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

"Dateline NBC" Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau ("Doonesbury") handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: "I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on 'current events.' The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who'd hanged herself with a belt! They'd all watched the worst blood and gore 'News at 11' station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to "Time for Kids" and "My Weekly Reader." People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids."

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:"I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What's even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run...and kids can break through their scared feelings."

Adds Pauly:

"Kids," she maintains, "know about bad news--they're the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it...and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security."

"I'm no expert on the nation's children," adds Jennings, " but I'd have to say no, it wasn't traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

"Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what's going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge--pressuring educators to 'do something.' They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe," a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90's.

Ellerbee adds that a parent's ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: "If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren't listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don't interrupt your child...let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they're finished, they'll start talking again, getting to a second level of honesty. Third, try to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it's proper to say: 'This is never going to happen to you...' But you don't say that to a 10-year-old."

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. "Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: 'I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.' Kids know the difference.

"Watching TV," Ellerbee maintains, "can makes kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family's beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world."

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: "I grew up in a very big shadow...and I couldn't avoid it," she admits. "It wasn't a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don't want my own children to feel." Yet doesn't her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? "My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight--no, no, never! And I don't bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it's fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him."

How does she emotionally handle news when her family's in it? "That's a line I've been walking since my own childhood, and it's certainly effected the kind of reporter I've become. It's made me less aggressive. I'm not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else's expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: 'Call this person who's in a disastrous situation and book them right way.' And I'm like: 'Ahhhh. I can't even bring myself to do it,' because I've been on the other side and know the family is in such pain."

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver's beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. "I didn't watch any of it...I was busy, " Shriver says quietly. "And my children didn't watch any of it either."

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling "What's Heaven?" [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. "My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded...walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: 'We're not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God...to heaven...and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children."

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: "In my shop, I'm regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things," he explains. "During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage--and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana's death comes along, we cover it. I think we're afraid not to do it. We're guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

"I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.'s funeral, because I saw no need to do it. He wasn't a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: 'I don't think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess...' But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderful long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty's place in our national life.

"Sometimes," Jennings muses, "TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.'s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It's not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting."

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can't blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

"As a reporter," she muses, "I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn't draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident, may also climb down a well to save a child's life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

"We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays...just as there's more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!"

[xxtorpedo]

black velvet

Her Momma used to say she was born on the hottest day in 1848, which was pretty far-fetched to say for the month of March. Would swear up and down that a freak heat wave moved through Louisiana and nearly evaporated the swamps. Sable always assumed she only said this because of the bright red color of her hair, and would also assume that was the reason she was given a name that meant ‘sand’ in French, since it burned the bottoms of your feet like hot coals in the summer.

Momma was a swamp witch, whatever that meant. She’d simplify her abilities just so. Daddy was a Montgomery, an old bloodline that specialized in something they called ‘the motion’, what Momma called ‘déplacer’– move, travel, displace.

What they did was move things with their minds.

Sable couldn’t do it for the longest time. Maybe it was partly because Daddy used to toss her in the air with his own power, thinking she’d like it. Thinking the thrill of a high place was something exhilarating to a child.

It wasn’t.

She was eleven when she did it for the first time.

You know how boys tended to get real annoying when they turned a certain age around girls? One that always came to the park liked to throw whatever his nasty hands could find at Sable. Pine cones, slugs, clods of dirt. Take a pine cone to the side of the head once and no one could blame her for what happened next.

A freak gust of wind! That’s what her Momma had told his Momma. Wasn’t real normal for anyone to be blown into a tree trunk, but she had to cover for her daughter somehow. Had to assure the other woman it was something natural that happened to her son, resulted in his fractured shoulder.

Daddy had been so proud.

When she was thirteen, Daddy had to go off to war. Fought under a general named Stonewall Jackson. She wondered why on earth he had a name like ‘Stonewall’, no matter how many times her Momma told her it wasn’t his real name.

“Well then what is it?”

“Somethin’a starts with a T.”

“I like Stonewall better.”

No one thought a son of the Montgomery line would fall to something as simple as a bullet.

She was fifteen when she heard about it. Had hardly seen him in two years. Got letters all the time, addressed to Red, Pumpkin, whatever nickname he felt like using. She’d felt like dying for the longest time, Momma too. They mourned for so long that four and a half seasons passed before either of them felt like smiling again.

He’d been the rock of their family.

At a young age, she got married. Too young, in her opinion. Had a girl child and a boy child, both with the motion. Her daughter made the house shake from the age of five, and her son liked bending spoons from the age of seven. Beautiful, gifted, perfect.

Then the wars came again.

War was a foul thing. A thing that became commonplace in their lives. After the airplane was invented (which her Momma referred to as ‘unnecessary tin can birds’ – why fly through the air in a death trap when you could just as easily ride a horse or take a carriage or walk with the legs mother nature blessed you with?), it got aggressive.

The Great War happened, followed by the second one. They’d said the first had been ‘the war to end all wars’ – shit, had they been wrong. Years passed and the rumbling of a bomber overhead became normal. Sable wondered what it was like over there, where the bombs actually dropped. Momma had cried about Germany. Cried about Japan. Innocents, she insisted.

Sable wondered what the point of it all was.

A spat over land? Control? What did they want, in the long run? Surely not peace. Peace couldn’t be had with battle, could it? Though everyone else seemed to think so, Sable always thought it would have been a lot smarter to talk it over instead of committing acts of mass genocide

But who was she to talk? Just a simple girl from Louisiana didn’t have a clue.

Distant contempt turned into a morbid fascination. Pitting brother against brother, that’s what the Civil War had been about. Now it was nation against nation. Death wasn’t ever something to feel charmed about, but the mindset of a leader when he decided to give the ‘okay’ to drop a weapon of mass destruction…

What was going through his mind?

She’d listened to J. Robert Oppenheimer on the television. What was it like to become Death, destroyer of worlds? A concept chilling but fascinating. Made her heart race at the thought of it. Made her wonder how easy it would be without the bullets and the dynamite.

What if mere words could do the same thing?

She ended up moving a lot. Took her Momma and her kids with her. The swamp witch of Louisiana found new homes in Tennessee, Virginia, Ohio, Massachusetts, and Maine. They settled in a place called Fortune, found Tzarah, joined a coven since it seemed the right thing to do. That was in the Thirties, during the depression.

Khonsu.

She never really paid much mind to the meaning behind the name. Found it ounce in an old textbook about ancient Egyptian gods, Khonsu, god of the moon, but no one ever bothered to tell her if it was right or wrong. Sooner or later she forgot about it. Accepted it as having its own special sort of meaning. There were several other covens, somehow they put a bad taste in Momma’s mouth and whatever Momma didn’t like, Sable tended not to like either.

Somehow Momma had the talent of whispering little things into people’s ears. Blow their minds just enough to make them wanna tell someone else. She started a whole Cold War on the block between all the stay-at-home wives. It was a talent Sable couldn’t help but admire.

“Is that true?” she’d ask.

“Nah, I made it up,” Momma would say.

Another husband and another two kids later, Sable could feel the temptation to stir shit up herself. With the littlest screaming his head off for this or that constantly, she began to feel an itch for mayhem. Chaos. Anything to save her from the boredom of being one of those stay-at-home wives.

So she leaned over the picket fence between herself and Mrs. So-n-So next door and grinned a real evil grin and said, “Did you hear about Mrs. Whatsherface?”

She’d made the whole thing up. Told her not to repeat it. Told her she hadn’t heard it from her. Told her to take it to the grave.

Naturally, she’d told Mrs. Downthestreet, and she told Mrs. Acrosstheway. It escalated, and soon Mrs. Whatsherface was the hottest topic of the street. Put a little spell on Mrs. So-n-So so she’d forget who told her in the first place.

War.

So fascinating. Humans were fascinating.

At some point she became a grandmother. At another point it seemed that there were too many mouths around her. Momma, Nanna, I want, I need. Sable had to find her center again. And what was that center?

Havoc. God, it felt so good to just throw shit right at a fan.

Was around this time she started talking more to another Khonsu member, Dom, people called him. Sidled up alongside him one night over a beer and tried to tell him about Mr. and Mrs. Yellowhouseonthecorner and something about cheating with a babysitter. He’d grinned right back at her and said, “Woman, you made that up.”

And then he told her something better. Something wilder.

“You made that up,” she said.

“I did,” he said.

And for the next decade, they stuck together. Their affair was easy. Like two puzzle pieces fitting together. Raising hell together. Subtly, of course. Dom knew how to sow the seeds of chaos like he was born doing it. And maybe he was. She admired it about him.

They lived through the eighties together, then decided they were better off apart. Like when you find out the puzzle piece sort of fit weird the whole time. Two shades of havoc tended to clash in the bedroom more often than not, so, they went their separate ways.

The Gulf War happened, the internet was invented, Clinton let a woman fellate him in the Oval Office. A plane crashed into the Twin Towers.

War started again.

He got high patron.

A few years later, so did she.

Partners in crime, they are.

Quite literally.

[itnews452]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

KIDS AND THE NEWS

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley--each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in front of the TV.

"Play Nintendo until dinner's ready," she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on "NBC News Tonight," announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter and son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On "World News Tonight," Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there's a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there's a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting.

"Dinner's ready!" shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What's wrong with this picture?

"There's a LOT wrong with it, but it's not that easily fixable," notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator and host of "Nick News," the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

"Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn't do much to enhance the lives of adults either," says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. "We're into stretching kids' brains and there's nothing we wouldn't cover," including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. "During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed," Ellerbee recalls. "Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

"Whether it's the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they're going to be OK--that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception...nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

"My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it's really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them"

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation's children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

"Mom's taking a beating here. Where's Dad?" Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

"Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn't cut it anymore,"

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four--Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6--agrees with Ellerbee: "But Moms aren't using the TV as a babysitter because they're out getting manicures!" says the 48-year-old anchor.

"Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don't think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

"When I need the TV as a babysitter," says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, "I put on a safe video. I don't mind that my kids have watched "Pretty Woman" or "My Best Friend's Wedding" 3,000 times. I'd be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: 'Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'"

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: "You can never be vigilant enough with your kids," she says, "because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children--whether it's TV news, movies, or cartoons."

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: ""TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior...studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe."

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation's households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

"We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week," she notes, "and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!" she states with a laugh. "Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver's household is a glaring exception to the rule. "Many kids have their own TV's, VCR's and video games in their bedroom," the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

"My kids," Shriver explains, "get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I'm a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn't watch the news.

"After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There's no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they're allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon."

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: "My kids," she notes, "do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News," instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

"No subject should be off-limits," Shriver concludes, "but you must filter the news to your kids."

ABC's Peter Jennings, who reigns over "World News Tonight," the nation's most-watched evening newscast, emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: "I have two kids--Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21-- and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted," says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching news? "I don't know of any downside and I've thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids' exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don't feel they've been affected by it. The jury's still out on the sex.

"I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world--to the bestiality of man--from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn't try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime--the fact that they are innocent pawns-- and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: "I've never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age."

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: "They'll say: 'How dare you put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?' My answer is: 'Madam, that's not my problem. That's YOUR problem. It's absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home."

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation's households, this according to the Kaiser study.

"Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable," he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. "You're darn right they waited...even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it's a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life--food and drink."

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: "I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings--and it's a distraction from homework!

"My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night--and they never had TV's in their bedrooms.It's a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them...too seductive..."

Adds Ellerbee: "TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they're not doing anything else!"

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children's lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

"Dateline NBC" Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau ("Doonesbury") handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: "I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on 'current events.' The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who'd hanged herself with a belt! They'd all watched the worst blood and gore 'News at 11' station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to "Time for Kids" and "My Weekly Reader." People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids."

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:"I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What's even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run...and kids can break through their scared feelings."

Adds Pauly:

"Kids," she maintains, "know about bad news--they're the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it...and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security."

"I'm no expert on the nation's children," adds Jennings, " but I'd have to say no, it wasn't traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

"Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what's going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge--pressuring educators to 'do something.' They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe," a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90's.

Ellerbee adds that a parent's ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: "If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren't listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don't interrupt your child...let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they're finished, they'll start talking again, getting to a second level of honesty. Third, try to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it's proper to say: 'This is never going to happen to you...' But you don't say that to a 10-year-old."

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. "Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: 'I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.' Kids know the difference.

"Watching TV," Ellerbee maintains, "can makes kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family's beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world."

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: "I grew up in a very big shadow...and I couldn't avoid it," she admits. "It wasn't a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don't want my own children to feel." Yet doesn't her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? "My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight--no, no, never! And I don't bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it's fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him."

How does she emotionally handle news when her family's in it? "That's a line I've been walking since my own childhood, and it's certainly effected the kind of reporter I've become. It's made me less aggressive. I'm not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else's expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: 'Call this person who's in a disastrous situation and book them right way.' And I'm like: 'Ahhhh. I can't even bring myself to do it,' because I've been on the other side and know the family is in such pain." Read more here ข่าวไอที

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver's beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. "I didn't watch any of it...I was busy, " Shriver says quietly. "And my children didn't watch any of it either."

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling "What's Heaven?" [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. "My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded...walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: 'We're not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God...to heaven...and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children."

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: "In my shop, I'm regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things," he explains. "During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage--and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana's death comes along, we cover it. I think we're afraid not to do it. We're guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

"I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.'s funeral, because I saw no need to do it. He wasn't a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: 'I don't think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess...' But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderful long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty's place in our national life.

"Sometimes," Jennings muses, "TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.'s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It's not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting."

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can't blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

"As a reporter," she muses, "I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn't draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident, may also climb down a well to save a child's life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

"We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays...just as there's more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!

[beautifulandbleeding]

James Pays A Visit

<<< < | One Week After Being Kidnapped

The door opened and Valery stirred, raising his hand to cover his eyes. A moment later the light came on and he winced. His head was still throbbing, which he really could only blame himself for. Not for the first time he wondered if he shouldn’t have backed off of this investigation, or at least not implied that Ethan—the guy who brought him some water—was basically just playing babysitter for Earnshaw. That all that time spent climbed whatever career ladder crime guys hoped to rise through just left him doing what teenage girls did for their neighbours. He hadn’t been surprised that he’d been beaten, just by how scared he was when he came to later on in total darkness, not able to move without nausea gripping him. Like a bad hangover.

It was Ethan who came to see him. Babysitter, delivery man—it was Ethan who picked him up from his house, leading him away with a knife in the small of his back and delivering here. Wherever here was. Valery had spent the ride over in the boot, blindfolded for good measure; he didn’t know where he was, just that he was near a utility room. He heard water running through the pipes from time-to-time. He was probably underground. There was the sound of heavy boots on the concrete floor, then the creaking as that heavy fire door slammed shut. A moment passed when all Valery could hear was the buzzing of the electricity now that the single light was on. Soon he’d have to open his eyes and his head would hurt so much worse.

“What do you think?” Ethan asked.

“Well,” a second voice said. “It’s certainly him.”

Valery squeezed his eyes shut tighter, because this voice was familiar as well.

“So you’d you leave him?” Ethan asked, as if Valery wasn’t in the room. He heard Ethan walk closer, heard those footsteps stop behind him.

“It didn’t work out,” James said flatly. “That’s for multiple reasons, not anything specific. Eventually I just decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle.”

“You bastard,” Valery snarled, pulling his hand away from his eyes and trying to sit up. It hurt as much as he thought he would. Valery rolled onto his stomach so that he wasn’t facing the single bulb in the middle of the room, then finished pushing himself up as much as he could. “You’re a fucking prick, James.”

“And what are you?” James snapped.

Then James kicked him.

It hit his arm and Valery went down again, landing on the solid floor with a thump. This time he forced his eyes open, forced himself to look through the sharp, glinting double-vision at James’ boots. He grabbed James’ ankle, wildly trying to twist his fingers through the fabric, but James kicked him away easily. He knelt in front of Valery, pulling him up by the back of the hair until they were crouched eye-to-eye from each other.

James still looked so much like himself. Light brown hair that was starting to curl over his ears and his forehead, and eyes that were the same colour. He was dressed smartly, as if he was going to the office and not playing messenger or guard or whatever it is that he did for Henry Earnshaw. There was still a dull look to his eye that would look dead on anyone else, but on James it had only ever looked secretive. Years ago Valery had loved that, knowing that there was some part of James that he kept from the rest of the world but showed him.

When he tried to look over his shoulder towards Ethan, James grabbed him by the jaw and forced his head straight. It made Valery’s skin crawl. He didn’t want to imagine what Ethan saw, looking at him now. He’d been here for a week by his own estimate and in that time he’d not been allowed to shower or do anything to stay clean. His black hair would be tangled and filthy, his skin greasy and stained with dried blood. He didn’t want to think about what the beating from the night before had done to him. He didn’t want that to be what James saw.

Without a word James drew his hand back and punched Valery in the jaw. It would have thrown Valery back if he’d not been holding him still, but it made him cry out. Nothing existed except for the stabbing lights behind his eyes that were at least as bright as the single bulb overhead, until it faded and Valery realised that he was gasping for breath. He reached up to where James’ punch had landed, finding it along with all the other bruises.

“It doesn’t look like you’re very sentimental,” Ethan said.

“Who hasn’t wanted a chance to beat the shit out of their ex?” James laughed, letting go of Valery and standing up. “If more people thought they could get away with it, then I’m sure they’d try.”

“Well, go on then,” Ethan said. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“You’re not going to give me a bit of privacy?”

“No. Orders.”

James shrugged, and before Valery could even realise what was going to happen James had kicked him again, this time in the stomach. He shoved Valery onto his back so that he was facing the light, and while Valery threw his hands across his face to protect himself James brought his heel down hard on Valery’s chest. The next kick landed in the same spot, as did the next, and this time Valery screamed as he heard something crack.

When he came back to himself he was gasping, holding his hand over his ribs without touching them. He forced himself to open his eyes and to look at James, more terrified that another blow would land without him ever seeing it coming.

“Don’t,” he wheezed. “Oh God please don’t—”

“You’re not doing yourself any favours hyperventilating like that.” Valery’s hand did very little to protect himself when James crushed it between his own chest and James’ boot, and Valery screamed again.

This time he came to over on his side, one arm wrapped around his chest and the other covering his face. He could still hear James and Ethan talking, although not what they were saying. Had he passed out? The pain in his rib was incredible, although not to compared to the nausea that was rolling through him, worse than before. Nothing existed outside of his body, except for the light that beat down on him as if it had weight. Valery felt that he was floating, or that he may as well have been; even the concrete floor felt distant, like a layer of air rested between it and Valery.

He groaned, and heard as the voices fell silent. His heartrate sped up, and he felt that painfully in his skull. This couldn’t be happening. Valery knew that. The idea that something might go wrong wasn’t so far-fetched, he’d had plenty of close encounters in the past and been on the receiving end of a number of death threats. Once a man that Valery had proved was cheating on his wife took a gulf-club to his car windows, which Valery had thought was an exceptionally stupid thing to do—it hadn’t taken long to work out who had done it, and it wasn’t like this guy didn’t know that Valery could do this job. But that was about as far as violence went for him, at least related to work. The idea that he was here, locked in this room, with James of all people—

He bit the inside of his wrist. This couldn’t be happening.

“It sounds like he’s awake,” Ethan said.

“Did you want to actually talk to him?” James asked. “Or just show me him?”

“Mostly the second option. Just wanted to see what you’d do.”

“Well I hope you don’t think less of me for this.”

“You’re right, though. I have an ex-wife; I know how it is.”

Valery didn’t hear James approach, just felt the hand on his arm. He tensed. He couldn’t breathe. James grabbed Valery by the back of his shirt and turned him over. And to Valery’s horror he realised that he wanted to lean into James’ touch, to rest his head on his shoulder and beg for James to fix this. It was barely different to how he’d felt for the past three years, every time he came home to his own empty place and sat alone. But unlike in the months after James left him, and in the years since, what Valery felt now wasn’t tinged with wanting so much as remorse.

Because as he looked at James, he hated him.

“You were supposed to be better than this,” Valery hissed. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Let go of me.”

“This isn’t what you wanted?” James ground the side of Valery’s bruised face against the concrete, but didn’t let go. The effort that it took not to twist away and struggle, or whimper, was way more than Valery could force himself to endure right now. He groaned, and to his own ear it sounded almost like a sob.

“Of course I damn well didn’t. Don’t touch me.”

“What are you so mad about?” James demanded. His fist tightened in Valery’s hair, drawing out another sharp gasp.

“You’re a monster,” Valery hissed. “You always were. I can’t believe I ever—”

“The feeling’s mutual,” James said. “For a minute there I thought you were smart enough not to end up here.”

He let go of Valery’s head without another word. In a different situation he would have sat up and forced himself to watch James leave, and Ethan with him, but he was really becoming more sure that he would be sick if he moved that much. Just breathing was too much, not least of which because of the broken rib. It was just the rapid-fall movement in his chest that was getting to be too much after a while.

[black---velvet]

history

Her Momma used to say she was born on the hottest day in 1848, which was pretty far-fetched to say for the month of March. Would swear up and down that a freak heat wave moved through Louisiana and nearly evaporated the swamps. Sable always assumed she only said this because of the bright red color of her hair, and would also assume that was the reason she was given a name that meant ‘sand’ in French, since it burned the bottoms of your feet like hot coals in the summer.

Momma was a swamp witch, whatever that meant. She’d simplify her abilities just so. Daddy was a Montgomery, an old bloodline that specialized in something they called ‘the motion’, what Momma called ‘déplacer’– move, travel, displace.

What they did was move things with their minds.

Sable couldn’t do it for the longest time. Maybe it was partly because Daddy used to toss her in the air with his own power, thinking she’d like it. Thinking the thrill of a high place was something exhilarating to a child.

It wasn’t.

She was eleven when she did it for the first time.

You know how boys tended to get real annoying when they turned a certain age around girls? One that always came to the park liked to throw whatever his nasty hands could find at Sable. Pinecones, slugs, clods of dirt. Take a pinecone to the side of the head once and no one could blame her for what happened next.

A freak gust of wind! That’s what her Momma had told his Momma. Wasn’t real normal for anyone to be blown into a tree trunk, but she had to cover for her daughter somehow. Had to assure the other woman it was something natural that happened to her son, resulted in his fractured shoulder.

Daddy had been so proud.

When she was thirteen, Daddy had to go off to war. Fought under a general named Stonewall Jackson. She wondered why on earth he had a name like ‘Stonewall’, no matter how many times her Momma told her it wasn’t his real name.

“Well then what is it?”

“Somethin’a starts with a T.”

“I like Stonewall better.”

No one thought a son of the Montgomery line would fall to something as simple as a bullet.

She was fifteen when she heard about it. Had hardly seen him in two years. Got letters all the time, addressed to Red, Pumpkin, whatever nickname he felt like using. She’d felt like dying for the longest time, Momma too. They mourned for so long that four and a half seasons passed before either of them felt like smiling again.

He’d been the rock of their family.

At a young age, she got married. Too young, in her opinion. Had a girl child and a boy child, both with the motion. Her daughter made the house shake from the age of ten, and her son liked bending spoons from the age of thirteen. Beautiful, gifted, perfect.

Then the wars came again. And off her husband went. And went the way of Daddy.

War was a foul thing. A thing that became commonplace in their lives. After the airplane was invented (which her Momma referred to as ‘unnecessary tin can birds’ -- why fly through the air in a death trap when you could just as easily ride a horse or take a carriage or walk with the legs mother nature blessed you with?), it got aggressive.

The Great War happened, followed by the second one. They’d said the first had been ‘the war to end all wars’ – shit, had they been wrong. Years passed and the rumbling of a bomber overhead became normal. Sable wondered what it was like over there, where the bombs actually dropped. Momma had cried about Germany. Cried about Japan. Innocents, she insisted.

Sable wondered what the point of it all was.

A spat over land? Control? What did they want, in the long run? Surely not peace. Peace couldn’t be had with battle, could it? Though everyone else seemed to think so, Sable always thought it would have been a lot smarter to talk it over instead of committing acts of mass genocide.

But who was she to say anything? Just a simple girl from Louisiana couldn’t have a clue.

Distant contempt turned into a morbid fascination. Pitting brother against brother, that’s what the Civil War had been about. Now it was nation against nation. Death wasn’t ever something to feel charmed about, but the mindset of a leader when he decided to give the ‘okay’ to drop a weapon of mass destruction…

What was going through his mind?

She’d listened to J. Robert Oppenheimer on the television. What was it like to become Death, destroyer of worlds? A concept chilling but fascinating. Made her heart race at the thought of it. Made her wonder how easy it would be without the bullets and the dynamite.

What if mere words could do the same thing?

She ended up moving a lot. Took her Momma and her kids with her. The swamp witch of Louisiana found new homes in Tennessee, Virginia, Ohio, Massachusetts, and Maine. They settled right back in Louisiana after a while, though, since it seemed like the right thing to do.

By that time, there were covens abound in Louisiana. More than the Montgomery’s had ever heard of. 

omehow they put a bad taste in Momma’s mouth and whatever Momma didn’t like, Sable tended not to like either.

Somehow Momma had the talent of whispering little things into people’s ears. Blow their minds just enough to make them wanna tell someone else. She started a whole Cold War on the block between all the stay-at-home wives. It was a talent Sable couldn’t help but admire.

“Is that true?” she’d ask.

“Nah, I made it up,” Momma would say.

Another husband and another two kids later, Sable could feel the temptation to stir shit up herself. With the littlest screaming his head off for this or that constantly, she began to feel an itch for mayhem. Chaos. Anything to save her from the boredom of being one of those stay-at-home wives.

So she leaned over the picket fence between herself and Mrs. So-n-So next door and grinned a real evil grin and said, “Did you hear about Mrs. Whatsherface?”

She’d made the whole thing up. Told her not to repeat it. Told her she hadn’t heard it from her. Told her to take it to the grave.

Naturally, she’d told Mrs. Downthestreet, and she told Mrs. Acrosstheway. It escalated, and soon Mrs. Whatsherface was the hottest topic of the street. Put a little spell on Mrs. So-n-So so she’d forget who told her in the first place.

War.

So fascinating. Humans were fascinating.

At some point she became a grandmother. At another point it seemed that there were too many mouths around her. Momma, Nanna, I want, I need. Sable had to find her center again. And what was that center?

Havoc. God, it felt so good to just throw shit right at a fan.

Was around this time she started talking more to man who was part of a neighboring coven, Reign, people called him. Sidled up alongside him one night over a beer and tried to tell him about Mr. and Mrs. Yellowhouseonthecorner and something about cheating with a babysitter. He’d grinned right back at her and said, “Woman, you made that up.”

And then he told her something better. Something wilder.

“You made that up,” she said.

“I did,” he said.

And for the next decade, they stuck together. Their affair was easy. Like two puzzle pieces fitting together. Raising hell together. Subtly, of course. Reign knew how to sow the seeds of chaos like he was born doing it. And maybe he was. She admired it about him.

They lived through the eighties together, then decided they were better off apart. Like when you find out the puzzle piece sort of fit weird the whole time. Two shades of havoc tended to clash in the bedroom more often than not, so, they went their separate ways.

The Gulf War happened, the internet was invented, Clinton let a woman fellate him in the Oval Office. A plane crashed into the Twin Towers.

War started again.

[rgr-pop]

I need an ENTIRE afternoon wall of noise. 4/3 music library on shuffle until I hit a killdozer song.

the thermals - “god and country” reset - "double cross" nirvana - "polly" (1986-88 home recording) nirvana - "radio friendly unit shifter" (2013 mix) peterbuilt - "sateliteyes" the dickies - "got it at the store" apocalypse hoboken - "box of pills" fiona apple - "slow like honey" tex & the horseheads - "big boss man" everclear - "the drama king" anti-flag - "america got it right" neil young - "tonight's the night, pt. ii" everclear - "brown-eyed girl" noooooooooo oh my god no please millencolin - “israelites" listen you know that i'm p tolerant when it comes to this subject but why specifically did you boys do this. specifically you useless id - "note" never accuse me of pop punk nationalism again! that's three of global pop punk the selecter - "selling out your future" built to spill - "some things last a long time" holidays - "proof" let's wrestle - "bad mammaries" radhos - "one breath" ween - "boing" bracket - "g-vibe" local h - "'cha!' said the kitty" sublime - "40oz to freedom" failure - "saturday saviour" blink-182 - "don't leave me" (tmtts live take) why did they make this live album, they were so bad live shrimp boat - "melon song" interpol - "not even jail" the ataris - "angry nerd rock" 50 million - "superhero" skankin pickle - "violent love" the breeders - "put on a side" all - "honey peeps" the commandos (suicide commandos) - "weekend warrior" suicide machines - "friends are hard to find" the eclectics - "laura" good ska block! love this band pansy division - "jack u off" rocket from the tombs - "ain't it fun" dynamite boy - "devoted" young pioneers - "downtown tragedy" the breeders - "so sad about us" fenix tx - "jean claude trans am" fuck i love this song nofx - "bob" hickey - "happily ever after" bob dylan - "tangled up in blue" (bootlegs vol. 2) gas huffer - "king of hubcaps" tullycraft - "crush this town" atom and his package - "goalie" faith no more - "the real thing" carly rae jepsen - "tell me" bis - "listen up" one direction - "still the one" mtx - "she's no rocket scientist" eugene chadbourne - "roger miller medley" grouvie ghoulies - "carly simon" white town - "thursday at the blue note" gas huffer - "moon mission" rx bandits - "sleepy tyme" everclear - "rocket for the girl" failure - "kindred" blood on the saddle - "johnny's at the fair" the distillers - "red carpet and rebellion" cruiserweight - "dearest drew" stp - "plush" everclear - "wonderful" (live, from the closure ep) (don't hate it) new found glory - "sonny" everclear - "otis redding" (impure white evil demo) (BEST song) stp - "adhesive" incubus - "have you ever" cub - "tell me now" everclear - "short blonde hair" i simply do not hate it letters to cleo - "happy ever after" amazing transparent man - “the ocean is a fuck of a long way to swim” nerf herder - “(stand by your) manatee” kitty kitty - “ab tokeless” osker - “the mistakes you made” perfume genius - “hood” radhos - “shut up & deal” (welcome to the jungle take) osker - “the body”  gas huffer - “the sin of sloth” the fall - “bombast” excuse 17 - “code red” mad season - “lifeless dead” unwritten law - “differences” hanson - “two tears” the eyeliners - “anywhere but here” moby grape - “lazy me” brian wilson - “wonderful” 88 fingers louie - “something i don’t know” sicko - “wisdom tooth weekend” the replacements - “love you till friday” suicide machines - “green world” midtown - “another boy” hickey - “cool kids attacked by flying monkeys” the roman invasion suite - “carnations” the beat - “tears of a clown” local h - “24 hour break up session” okay i’m awake i want to end this now toots & the maytals - “funky kingston” local h - “strict-9″ his name is alive - “her eyes were huge things” nirvana - “frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle” slapstick - “almost punk enough” urge overkill - “bionic revolution” janet jackson - “you want this” piebald - “long nights” small brown bike - “now i’m a shadow” the story so far - “left unsaid” crj - “more than a memory” tracy + the plastics - “my friends end parties” liz phair - “6′1″“ fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ this mix is feminist now swindle - “one track” shockabilly - “burma shave” temple of the dog - “say hello to heaven” amazing transparent man - “shove” cool soul asylum cover from dekalb illinois :)) the vindictives “eating me alive” midwests only!! the judys - “radiation squirm” gulfs only!! frogpond - “sleep” flipp - “rock-n-roll star” throwing muses - “red shoes” everclear - “santa monica” throwing muses on summerland??? mekons - “atone & forsaken” holidays - “take me home country roads” this is a good tone to lead up to killdozer... true believers - “all mixed up again” prince - “adore” beulah - “queen of the populists” eveclear - “rocky mountain high” (99x live acoustic--I don’t have a date for this actually) of montreal - “dustin hoffman thinks about eating the soap” heatmiser - “stray” rickie lee jones - “woody and dutch on the slow train to peking” tar - “viaduct removal” common rider - “carry on” the frogs - “u bastards” mudhoney - “this gift” hammerbox - “outside” fuck my mom would have loved this song if it had gotten the airplay it deserved in 1993... hammerbox on summerland!!!! letters to cleo - “little rosa” kay hanley on summerland!! nine pound hammer “wrongside of the road” hanson - “with you in your dreams” (3cg demo) hamson on summerland!!! fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ again... fastbacks on summerland!!! face to face - “sensible” soul asylum - “happy” soul asylum on summerland!!!! television - “see no evil” pinq - “careful not to mention the obvious” the dickies - “nights in white satin” tar - “mel’s” truly - “chlorine” babes in toyland - “deep song” hole - “berry” hellbender - “half driven” hammerhead  - “new york? ...alone?” everclear - “malevolent” guzzard - “last”  archers of loaf - “tatyana” hum - “stars” hum on summerland die kreuzen - “don’t say please” this is not fair joanna newsom - “sadie” down by law - “peace, love and understanding” nirvana - “aneurysm” (1990 demo) hovercraft - “endoradiosonde” modest mouse - “cowboy dan” rage against the machine - “born of a broken man” skatalites - “scandal ska” pylon - “driving school” the vindictives - “babysitter” jimmy eat world - “ten” the get up kids - “lowercase west thomas” oh we’re doing this now? hot rod circuit - “knees” fine triple fast action - “the rescue” FINE  full disclosure i do skip emo diaries tracks at my discretion the amps - “bragging party” everclear - “am radio” this is not fair mxpx - “middlename” MXPX ON SUMMERLAND chokebore - “your let down” bob dylan - “you’re a big girl now” helmet - “primitive” pond - “filterless” blink-182 - “all the small things” local h - “ralph” tar - “over and out” pearl jam - “black” the gits - “sniveling little rat faced git” local h - “eddie vedder” >:) tar - “flow plow” i always misremember this as a subpop single so i’m like “i’m not amphetamine reptile biased?” but it was an a/r release, lol. brad wood produced it. lake michigan as hell  unicorns - “jellybones” this song makes me sad ever since i didn’t get to adopt the jellybones cat oblivion - “clark” desmond dekker - “jeserene” veruca salt - “one last time” veruca salt on summerland!!!! dead moon - “dead moon night” extremely dead moon on summerland fishbone - “i like to hide behind my glasses” dead moon - “on my own” paw - “sleeping bag” tar - “goethe” doc dart - “casket with flowers” smashing pumpkins - “zero” i don’t want billy corgan on summerland and i am sorry for that kicking giant - “&” kicking giant on summerland lmao shockabilly - “pile up all architecture” ween - “sorry charlie” sublime - “april 29, 1992 (miami)” heatmiser - “blackout” the clash - “pressure drop” hellbender - “pissant’s retrospective” the queers - “i won’t be” the vindictives - “circles” the beat farmers - “selfish heart” screaming trees - “end of the universe” 7 year bitch - “second hand” bourgeois filth - “above” nirvana - “scoff” the breeders - “cannonball” saturday looks good to me - “save my life” cara beth satalino - “good ones” communique - “dagger version” soul asylum - “sometime to return” sublime - “jailhouse” tullycraft - “twee” nuns - “wild” beyonce - “countdown” the replacements - “sixteen blue” living colour - “what’s your favorite color” britney - “why should i be sad” mdc - “church and state” alice in chains - “junkhead” rage against the machine - “mic check” everclear - “nervous and weird” soundgarden - “fresh tendrils” helmet - “army of me” the gits - “it all dies anyway” pansy division - “smells like queer spirit” mtx - “i’d do anything for you” 5 year sentence - “just a punk” pennywise - “nothing” mudhoney - “thirteenth floor opening” yesterday’s kids - “eighteen” mxpx - “punk rawk show” small brown bike - “zerosum” incubus - “trouble in 421″ hanson - “speechless” incubus - “circles” dead moon - “my time has come” (!!!!) first of all is this killdozer blink-182 - “here’s your letter” everclear - “electra made me blind” (nervous & weird take) saves the day - “through being cool” groovie ghoulies - “don’t go out into the rain (you’re gonna melt)” babes in toyland - “never” husker du - “target” guzzard - “biro” fairweather - “next day flight” mcr - “house of wolves” broadcast - “until then” liz phair - “never said” the dicks - “rich daddy” quasi - “the iron worm” mustard plug - “not again” janitor joe - “boyfriend” snapcase - “new academy” neil young - “someday” blindsided - “spaceman” placebo - “without you i’m nothing” the creeps - “lakeside cabin” solomon grundy - “time is not your own” the clash - “the card cheat” silversun pickups - “common reactor” lagwagon - “leave the light on” denali - “where i landed” system of a down - “highway song” sprinkler - “personality doll” the vindictives - “structure and function” unplugged” the queers - “ursula finally has tits” we’re entering no repeats territory  buffalo springfield - “expecting to fly” hit squad - “pictures of matchstick men” cows - “almost a god” hop along - “young and happy” pixies - “i’ve been tired” the fall - “spoilt victorian child” camper van chadbourne - “knock on the door” queens of the stone age - “tension head” choking victim - “war story” cool that we have gotten to drop by the greatest song ever recorded :) guttermount - “happy loving couples” audio karate - “nintendo 89″ tad - “pork chop” the kelley deal 6000 - “where did the home team go” colorfinger - “hateful” :} man or astroman - “evil plans of planet spectra” pere ubu - “arabian nights” accepting repeats for  new found glory - “my friends over you” cool moving on american steel - “optimist” tom petty & the heartbreakers - “even the losers” meat puppets - “another moon” black cat music - “wine in a box” wallside - “ready” crucifucks - “pig in a blanket” the bananas - “my charmed life”

KILLDOZER - “EARL SCHEIB,” UNCOMPROMISING WAR ON ART UNDER THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE PROLETARIAT, 1994. KILLDOZER ON SUMMERLAND

[phgq]

OFWs staying put in host countries to make a living

#PHnews: OFWs staying put in host countries to make a living

MANILA – The coronavirus disease 2019 (Covid-19) pandemic may have had an adverse impact on overseas Filipino workers (OFW) but that would not stop them from working hard to make a living. Fernando Robles Jr., a florist in Kuwait, said he feels safe working in the Arab nation since strict health protocols are imposed to prevent the further spread of Covid-19. Due to the pandemic, Chelsea Boutique, the flower shop where Robles works, decided to let their employees report for work every other day. Robles, while contending with the impact of Covid-19 crisis, has to remain optimistic for his family. “Ang sitwasyon namin dito, okay naman. Need namin sumunod sa protocol at rules to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. Need namin mag-mask everyday when going to work or outside of the house (Our situation here is good. We need to follow the protocols and rules to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. We need to wear face mask everyday when going to work or outside of the house),” he told the Philippine News Agency. Robles said he is surviving amid the pandemic since he is one of the OFWs who received financial aid amounting to PHP10,000 from the Duterte administration. On top of the cash relief from the Philippine government, he is also getting assistance from the Kuwaiti government and his friends in the Gulf country. “[Noong] December 2020, nakakuha ako [ng cash aid sa Philippine government]. Naka-survive naman ako noong pandemic dahil may mga relief good galing sa government dito at mga bigay ng friends namin (I received the cash aid from the Philippine government in December 2020). I am able to survive because the Kuwait government and my friends gave me relief goods),” Robles said. ‘Great help’ from gov’t For OFWs who opted to stay abroad, the government ensured that they would also receive an equal treatment by distributing financial assistance to them, Jocelyn Evangelista said. Evangelista, an assistant teacher in a nursery school in Abu Dhabi, never felt neglected by the Duterte administration because the monetary aid she had received was more than enough to cope with the Covid-19 crisis. “I would like to thank our government for being so productive in undertaking so many projects for the welfare of the citizens, especially in times of this pandemic. Financial assistance has been provided, especially to OFWs like me,” she said. Evangelista is currently into a part-time job as a babysitter after the school she is working for was forced to temporarily halt its operations due to the pandemic. “It was a really a great help for me to sustain my needs. I really appreciate all the help from our government. We are in this together and all have our part to play,” Evangelista said. The Duterte government, through the Department of Labor and Employment, has released a one-time cash grant worth PHP10,000 to each OFW whose employment has been affected by the Covid-19 pandemic. The government has also intensified its repatriation efforts amid the crisis, paving the way for the return of more than 300,000 distressed OFWs. As of December 2020, a total of 300,838 OFWs from all over the world have been brought home since the government launched its repatriation program in February last year, according to the figures released by the Department of Foreign Affairs. (PNA)

***

References:

* Philippine News Agency. "OFWs staying put in host countries to make a living." Philippine News Agency. https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1128359 (accessed January 24, 2021 at 08:15PM UTC+14).

* Philippine News Agency. "OFWs staying put in host countries to make a living." Archive Today. https://archive.ph/?run=1&url=https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1128359 (archived).

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: MOVIE REVIEW: Gemini Man

(Image: polygon.com)

GEMINI MAN— 2 STARS

Ang Lee’s new actioner Gemini Man is the cinematic embodiment of the figure of speech “chasing your tail.” A reminder from The Free Dictionary, defines that idiom as “to take action that is ineffectual and does not lead to progress” and “refers to how a dog can exhaust itself by chasing its own tail.” Boy, is that ever this movie. You have a multiple Academy Award-winning filmmaker chasing a technological benchmark that the industry cannot match. And you have a lead actor exhausting himself (and us) literally, instead of just figuratively, chasing his own tail.

Graying through his temples and whiskers, Will Smith plays his authentic 51 years of age as ultra-professional government asset Henry Brogan. The old guard assassin wants peace after losing his “feel” and growing a conscience after completing his 72nd confirmed kill. Seafront solitude with a little boat awaits Henry in Buttermilk Sound, Georgia south of Savannah. After demonstrating his chops in the opening scene, Smith’s confident exasperation and desire for this slowdown fits the actor’s appeal.

LESSON #1: “TO THE NEXT WAR, WHICH IS NO WAR” — This quote is Henry Brogan’s shared signature toast with his former brothers-in-arms from the old Persian Gulf and Somalia days, which include Jack (Red Sparrow’s Douglas Hodge) and Baron (Benedict Wong of Doctor Strange. The vibe is two-fold. First, there’s a celebration of success in making the world a better place with each dispatched despot and a survivalist wish of someday putting the bullets and triggers away.

Sure enough, retirement is short-lived when Henry learns he was fed spiked intel where the mark he sniped was someone of a less criminal background than he was told. Brogan and Danny Zakarweski (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, bringing only middling sidekick value), the burned babysitter agent who helps him, become loose-ends for erasure by the order of their head government spook employer Clay Verris (Clive Owen, dialed to 50% intensity). Globetrotting from Georgia and Cartagena in the Western Hemisphere to Belgium and Budapest in the eastern one, the chase is on.

The salt-grained rub is Henry’s indomitable opponent at every stop is someone younger, stronger, and faster with recognizable facial features and training. Over 20 years ago when cloning was the rage, Verris used Henry’s DNA as a test to create an experimental line of expendable soldiers packaged with fewer human flaws and more programmed discipline. The force matching Henry’s every movie is his 23-year-old homegrown duplicate raised by Verris as his own adoptive son and following his every command.

LESSON #2: SO MUCH FOR SUN TZU — Paraphrasing, knowing your enemy better than you know yourself is quickly derailed when your enemy is you. Insert the Dramatic Chipmunk, but watch out for the groan-inducing “clones are still people too” and “they get choices too” wet blanket lessons that preach and follow. Gemini Man becomes a battle of seasoned wisdom versus the superior vigor of youth. Brains tend to always beat brawn, and you can see the end result a continent away.

Through de-aging special effects and digital doubles, Smith plays and voices his own “Junior.” This glaze, if you will, is very well done compared to other incarnations we’ve seen with this performance technology. Most of the time, mouths and expressions match with minimal, though noticeable, creepiness. It takes some getting used to, but it’s still Will Smith. Like most of his duds over the course of the last decade, the fit action star is never the movie’s problem.

Plenty of keen and sleek aesthetics are fair to compliment here. The team of stunt coordinator Brad Martin (Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice) and fight choreographer Jeremy Marinas (The Fate of the Furious) executed action sequences that are kinetic and often clever. Two-time production design Oscar nominee Guy Hendrix Dyas (Inception, Passengers) and the art departments created vast arenas for these battles out of the worldly locales. Academy Award-winning cinematographer Dion Beebe (Chicago) shot them bright and tight while long-time Lee editing collaborator and fellow two-time Oscar nominee Tim Squyres (Life of Pi) stitched the work together with deft pacing.

Much ballyhoo is being made about the high frame rate shooting used to enliven all this action. Matching his 2016 effort on Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, Ang Lee shot this film in full 4K HD for large scale 3D at a 120 fps clip, exponentially higher than the standard 24 fps rate. Good luck finding a theater or setting that can do Gemini Man full justice. There’s not a single theater screen in the country that can perform all three of those specifications and only 14 than can hit the 3D and the frame rate without the 4K HD. Cue your shrug of disappointment.

We can admire Lee for aiming towards new technological heights, but this reeks of hubris over smarts. Upwards of $136 million is a great deal of money and effort to waste on what amounts to an artistic STEM experiment where the intended visual detail and sensory effect will be lost on over 99% of audiences. If home viewing is the second wave of hope for this wannabe blockbuster to make an impression, even the current 4K HD televisions will have a difficult time hitting those technical specifications.

It is unfortunately understandable that this film probably could not be marketed to the masses without revealing the younger doppelganger crux. What a shame. Such a discovery should have been built as a jarring jaw-dropper rather than a foregone conclusion. The trouble is too often production secrets like that cannot be dependably kept safe in this day and age of scoop culture. That and, if you hold your bucket of popcorn to your ear, you can probably still hear the short-sighted marketing gurus at Paramount clamoring that two Will Smiths are better than one. This is not the 1990s or early 2000s Will Smith anymore. He was lucky with Aladdin but he’s not an A-list draw.

Gemini Man could have been something far greater if it traded much of that polish for punch. Other than the inventiveness of the action, there is zero to few potential thrills to be had when you can see every spot coming. The look is all there, right down to the close-up shot selection framed to capture the steely moments ripe for emotional stamping. There’s just no storytelling strength behind those hard stares. One of the mano-y-mano moments in the movie lets loose the clunker of a line “none of this is necessary” and it feels self-incriminating.

This original premise, scripted out by Game of Thrones czar David Benioff and Goosebumps writer David Lemke with a revision from Billy Ray of Captain Phillips, feels very much like a low-end Philip K. Dick concept. A hero is in minor peril wrapped in easy clues with the lightest whiff of unexplored science fiction floating in the background. There is a market for that to a degree. Preposterousness can work around being ambiguous and ill-defined if it has an interesting edge (look no further than the best of Dick). Gemini Man, with all its finely sharpened pixels, cannot lacerate our enthusiasm.

LOGO DESIGNED BY MEENTS ILLUSTRATED (#830)

Permalink

from REVIEW BLOG – Every Movie Has a Lesson https://ift.tt/2p3SnPj via IFTTT

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2IGv6tA via IFTTT

[peaxhsoda]

Lust

Contains; smut, (most people in the fanfic are out of character), fluff, drinking, and cute Jungwoo

Group; Nct

Member(s); Jungwoo

Summery; It’s New Year’s Eve and Jungwoo (your boyfriend) had invited you to their New Years party. Everything seems like a typical evening, until Jungwoo has a little to much to drink, and things get heated.

Words; 800-900?? (I’m to lazing to check)

A/N: this was inspired by a klance comic I saw the other day that I liked a lot.

It was a long New Year’s Eve, and seemed to be taking forever to even hit 11:30. Jungwoo was taking shots like they were juice, Taeyong was trying to manage the underage kids who were attempting to steal alcohol, and you were sober. Alcohol wasn’t much of an interest for you as it was for most 20 year olds, and it was more interesting to see the others tipsy as hell. But yet again, that would mean you had to be the babysitter, well you, and Taeyong. He couldn’t drink much, only like 2 sips of wine, anymore then that and he’d be out cold. Jungwoo on the other hand was downing 3 drinks a minute. Since this was his first year of legally being able to drink, he didn’t know how to do it responsibly. The older members; Johnny, Taeil, Doyoung, and Mark, were playing drinking games like flip cup and beer pong, while Lucas watched. Jisung and Chenle were setting up a game of cards against humanity for everyone to play, and Haechan, Jeno, And Jaemin were of course, trying to sneak some beer. The drunken Winwin, Jaehyun and Ten were playing Wii Sports with Renjun who couldn’t stop laughing at their stupid remarks.

“Jungwoo... slow down” you chuckled handing him a bottle of water, “I don’t want you to throw up”. Jungwoo was standing next to the food table stuffing his face with hot dogs and Ham.

“What?? I’ve only had like 2 drinks” he laughed obviously intoxicated.

“Ya sure...” another giggles escaped your mouth, “just drink tons of water, and take a break... it’s not even 11 yet” you placed a soft kiss against his lips, and walked over to watch Winwin, Jaehyun, Ten, and Renjun playing Wii Sports. SM entertainment was kind enough to let you guys use the 4th floor of the building for the night.

“NO WAY! THAT WAS A TOUCHDOWN ” you heard Ten yell, followed by Renjun laughing.

“We’re playing gulf dude!” He managed to make out in between laughs.

“ArE We?” He asked realizing how wrong he was.

“You’re cut off” you laughed sitting on the couch, followed by Jungwoo.

“Do we have Dance Dance Revolution?” Jungwoo asked as Jaehyun flipped through games.

“No... but we have Just Dance” he said throwing the disk at you guys.

“Come on y/n!” Jungwoo yelled grabbing your wrist, “we’re playing”. He pulled you off the couch as the other sat down, “imma kick your ass” he laughed preparing to dance.

“You’re drunk, I can just push you over” you laughed, giving him a small shove.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” He yelled at you like a little kid would.

“Ladies get first pick” you joked, as all the drunk nerds (and Renjun) giggled at your comment.

“Fine! But don’t think I’ll go easy on you!” He smiled rolling up the sleeves of his hoodie. “We playin Girlfriend by Avril”.

You sighed at his choice, but just went with it. Once the song began, Jungwoo was screaming the lyrics, which drew in the attention of the other members. He was goin’ hard, yelling, making loud bangs, and he wasn’t even doing the right dance. Everyone, including you, laughed at how horribly good he was doing, and in doing so, you couldn’t concentrate, and ended up losing.

“Told you” he took a breath, “I’d kick” he took another, “your ass... holy fuck it’s hot in here” he said exhaustedly grabbing the bottle of water you gave to him earlier.

“Fine... I’ll give it to ya” you were too out of breath, but not from dancing, from laughing to hard, “you kicked my ass”.

Before you knew it, it was already 11:15, Jaemin, Jeno, and Haechan were pretending to be drunk from the one sip of “beer” Mark gave them, while the rest of you gathered around a huge table to play CAH.

The card was, “things you wouldn’t want up your ass”, of course the “drunk” 3 boys were laughing themselves to death, while everyone else shuffled through their cards. Laughs escaped Tens mouth when he read the perfect card, and yelled “I’m winning this round”. Meanwhile, Taeyong was trying his hardest to convince Jisung and Chenle to leave, knowing damn well the horrible things that would be coming out of everyone’s mouth. You and Jungwoo were playing together, so you rested yourself comfortably on his lap, and looked at your cards together. Since he was a child, he found “hot cheese��� (@ Colby) funny, and made you throw that in.

A few rounds passed, and it was about 11:30, so everyone was getting ready to set off the fireworks. Jungwoo had progressively gotten a lot drunker, and a lot more flirtatious with you then usual.

“Hey y/n” he smiled resting his head on your shoulder.

“Yes Jungwoo” you sighed resting your head on top of his.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“No y/n...” he brought his head up to meet his eyes with yours, “I love you a lot... like, I’d marry you, right here, right now...” his hand grabbed yours, “I’d die for you. You’re the most important part of my life, and you’re so perfect. So I love you, but it’s more than just love... it’s so much stronger...”

“Jungwoo... you’re drunk” you said, “you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“But I’m sobber enough to know I love you” his eyes filled with tears, “I love you so much y/n”.

“Lets go inside” you smiled, walking with him up to his dorm.

His hand tightened around yours, and he walked closer the you then usual.

“You should probably go to sleep” you smiled sitting next to him on his bed.

“Only if I get to sleep with you.”

“Fine, just get undressed... or do you need help with that?” You picked at him, ruffling his hair.

“I’d like it more if you took them off for me...” he joked back, taking his hoodie off.

“I’m not drunk enough to undress you.”

“But I’m drunk enough to undress you” he whispered, lifting off your shirt.

“Stop” you whined, not noticing how serious he was.

“You’re so hot” he smiled grabbing your hips.

“Jungwoo... stop” you laughed kissing him on the cheek.

“Did I ever tell you I’m a virgin?” Your eyes widened confused at this.

“No...”

“Well I am...” he whispered kissing your earlobe.

“Wait...” you said accidentally moaning at the feeling of his hand against your boob. Your breathing sped up, and your hands slowly unbuttoned his pants. Things got heated between you two, and before you knew it, you were sitting on top of him, kissing him passionately.

When you looked up for a breather, you noticed it was 10 to midnight, and asked him if it was ok.

“Yes of course.” He smiled grabbing your hands.

“I just wanna he sure, cause I don’t want you to lose your virginity to someone you don’t actually love”

“Just I do love you” he smiled, kissing you one more time.

“I love you too baby” you laughed, “your hands slid down to his underwear, in which you pulled off, the took of your own as well.

“Does it hurt?” He asked concerningly, grabbing your hands once again.

“Wait...” he stuttered before you fully took off your own, “what if I hurt you, or don’t do it right”.

“You won’t hurt me... I promise” reassuring him that everything was going to be fine.

You aligned yourself with Jungwoo, and slowly slid yourself onto him.

“Oh my god” you moaned leaning forward onto his stomach.

“No... it feel good” and he nodded his hands agreeing, “now... softly roll your hips with mine, and do whatever you think feels nice.”

It was slow, and calm, but yet it felt amazing, for the both of you. You gently ran your fingers through his soft hair, moving almost in sync with his body. You had to be softer then usually as it was his first time.

Out of pleasure, you pushed both your hands up to the top of the bed, now laying on top of him. Kissing, you could hear everyone else counting down for 10, and while slowly building up each other’s climax, fireworks went off in the background.

“What a good way to stop of the new year” you moaned, feeling a knot build in your stomach.

“Ya...” he said in a soft voice, “an amazing way.”

Both reaching your point, road out each other’s high, and you flopped next to him.

“Thank you,” he whispered kissing your forehead, “I love you”.

“I love you too”

THIS IS SO SHORT AND HORRIBLY WRITTEN IM SORRY

[giveuselife-blog]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

New Post has been published on https://giveuselife.org/should-your-child-watch-tv-news-surprising-opinions-of-top-anchors/

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

KIDS AND THE NEWS

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley–each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making front of dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-oldfront of the TV.”Play Nintendo until dinner’s ready,” she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on “NBC News Tonight,” announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter, nd son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On “World News Tonight,” Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there’s a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there’s a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting.

“Dinner’s ready!” shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What’s wrong with this picture?

“There’s a LOT wrong with it, but it’s not that easily fixable,” notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator, and host of “Nick News,” the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

“Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn’t do much to enhance the lives of adults either,” says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. “We’re into stretching kids’ brains and there’s nothing we wouldn’t cover,” including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. “During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed,” Ellerbee recalls. “Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

“Whether it’s the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they’re going to be OK–that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception…nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

“My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it’s really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them”

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation’s children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

“Mom’s taking a beating here. Where’s Dad?” Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

“Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn’t cut it anymore,”

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four–Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6–agrees with Ellerbee: “But Moms aren’t using the TV as a babysitter because they’re out getting manicures!” says the 48-year-old anchor.

“Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don’t think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

“When I need the TV as a babysitter,” says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, “I put on a safe video. I don’t mind that my kids have watched “Pretty Woman” or “My Best Friend’s Wedding” 3,000 times. I’d be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: ‘Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'”

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: “You can never be vigilant enough with your kids,” she says, “because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children–whether it’s TV news, movies, or cartoons.”

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: “TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior…studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe.”

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation’s households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

“We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week,” she notes, “and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!” she states with a laugh. “Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver’s household is a glaring exception to the rule. “Many kids have their own TV’s, VCR’s and video games in their bedroom,” the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

“My kids,” Shriver explains, “get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I’m a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn’t watch the news.

“After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There’s no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they’re allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon.”

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: “My kids,” she notes, “do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News,” instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

“No subject should be off-limits,” Shriver concludes, “but you must filter the news to your kids.”

ABC’s Peter Jennings, who reigns over “World News Tonight,” the nation’s most-watched evening newscast emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: “I have two kids–Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21– and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted,” says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching the news? “I don’t know of any downside and I’ve thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids’ exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don’t feel they’ve been affected by it. The jury’s still out on the sex.

“I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world–to the bestiality of man–from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn’t try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime–the fact that they are innocent pawns– and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: “I’ve never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age.”

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: “They’ll say: ‘How dare you to put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?’ My answer is: ‘Madam, that’s not my problem. That’s YOUR problem. It’s absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home.”

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation’s households, this according to the Kaiser study.

“Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable,” he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. “You’re darn right they waited…even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it’s a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life–food and drink.”

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: “I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings–and it’s a distraction from homework!

“My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night–and they never had TV’s in their bedrooms.It’s a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them…too seductive…”

Adds Ellerbee: “TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they’re not doing anything else!”

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children’s lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

“Dateline NBC” Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau (“Doonesbury”) handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: “I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on ‘current events.’ The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who’d hanged herself with a belt! They’d all watched the worst blood and gore ‘News at 11’ station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to “Time for Kids” and “My Weekly Reader.” People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids.”

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:”I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What’s even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run…and kids can break through their scared feelings.”

Adds Pauly:

“Kids,” she maintains, “know about bad news–they’re the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it…and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security.”

“I’m no expert on the nation’s children,” adds Jennings, ” but I’d have to say no, it wasn’t traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

“Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what’s going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge–pressuring educators to ‘do something.’ They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe,” a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90’s.

Ellerbee adds that a parent’s ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: “If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren’t listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don’t interrupt your child…let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they’re finished, they’ll start talking again, getting to the second level of honesty. Third, try, to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it’s proper to say: ‘This is never going to happen to you…’ But you don’t say that to a 10-year-old.”

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. “Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: ‘I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.’ Kids know the difference.

“Watching TV,” Ellerbee maintains, “can make kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family’s beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world.”

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: “I grew up in a very big shadow…and I couldn’t avoid it,” she admits. “It wasn’t a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don’t want my own children to feel.” Yet doesn’t her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? “My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight–no, no, never! And I don’t bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it’s fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him.”

How does she emotionally handle news when her family’s in it? “That’s a line I’ve been walking since my own childhood, and it’s certainly affected the kind of reporter I’ve become. It’s made me less aggressive. I’m not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else’s expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: ‘Call this person who’s in a disastrous situation and book them the right way.’ And I’m like: ‘Ahhhh. I can’t even bring myself to do it,’ because I’ve been on the other side and know the family is in such pain.”

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver’s beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. “I didn’t watch any of it…I was busy, ” Shriver says quietly. “And my children didn’t watch any of it either.”

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling “What’s Heaven?” [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. “My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded…walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: ‘We’re not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God…to heaven…and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children.”

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: “In my shop, I’m regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things,” he explains. “During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage–and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana’s death comes along, we cover it. I think we’re afraid not to do it. We’re guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

“I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.’s funeral because I saw no need to do it. He wasn’t a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: ‘I don’t think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess…’ But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderfully long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty’s place in our national life.

“Sometimes,” Jennings muses, “TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.’s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It’s not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting.”

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can’t blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

“As a reporter,” she muses, “I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn’t draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident may also climb down a well to save a child’s life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

“We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays…just as there’s more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!”

Bestselling author GLENN PASKIN is one of the nation’s leading psychology reporters and celebrity interviewers. His specialty today is interviewing the nation’s top experts in spirituality, motivation, happiness, and self- improvement. A contributing editor at FAMILY CIRCLE, the world’ s largest women’s magazine, he is available for TV, radio, and print interviews.

[baburaja97-blog]

New Post has been published on Vin Zite

New Post has been published on https://vinzite.com/should-your-child-watch-tv-news/

Should Your Child Watch TV News?

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley–each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in front of the TV.

“Play Nintendo until dinner’s ready,” she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on “NBC News Tonight,” announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter and son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On “World News Tonight,” Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there’s a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there’s a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting.

“Dinner’s ready!” shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What’s wrong with this picture?

“There’s a LOT wrong with it, but it’s not that easily fixable,” notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator and host of “Nick News,” the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

“Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn’t do much to enhance the lives of adults either,” says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. “We’re into stretching kids’ brains and there’s nothing we wouldn’t cover,” including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. “During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed,” Ellerbee recalls. “Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

“Whether it’s the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they’re going to be OK–that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception…nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

“My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it’s really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them”

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation’s children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

“Mom’s taking a beating here. Where’s Dad?” Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

“Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn’t cut it anymore,”

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four–Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6–agrees with Ellerbee: “But Moms aren’t using the TV as a babysitter because they’re out getting manicures!” says the 48-year-old anchor.

“Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don’t think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

“When I need the TV as a babysitter,” says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, “I put on a safe video. I don’t mind that my kids have watched “Pretty Woman” or “My Best Friend’s Wedding” 3,000 times. I’d be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: ‘Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'”

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: “You can never be vigilant enough with your kids,” she says, “because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children–whether it’s TV news, movies, or cartoons.”

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: “”TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior…studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe.”

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation’s households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

“We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week,” she notes, “and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!” she states with a laugh. “Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver’s household is a glaring exception to the rule. “Many kids have their own TV’s, VCR’s and video games in their bedroom,” the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

“My kids,” Shriver explains, “get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I’m a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn’t watch the news.

“After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There’s no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they’re allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon.”

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: “My kids,” she notes, “do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News,” instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

“No subject should be off-limits,” Shriver concludes, “but you must filter the news to your kids.”

ABC’s Peter Jennings, who reigns over “World News Tonight,” the nation’s most-watched evening newscast, emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: “I have two kids–Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21– and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted,” says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching news? “I don’t know of any downside and I’ve thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids’ exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don’t feel they’ve been affected by it. The jury’s still out on the sex.

“I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world–to the bestiality of man–from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn’t try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime–the fact that they are innocent pawns– and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: “I’ve never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age.”

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: “They’ll say: ‘How dare you put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?’ My answer is: ‘Madam, that’s not my problem. That’s YOUR problem. It’s absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home.”

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation’s households, this according to the Kaiser study.

“Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable,” he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. “You’re darn right they waited…even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it’s a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life–food and drink.”

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: “I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings–and it’s a distraction from homework!

“My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night–and they never had TV’s in their bedrooms.It’s a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them…too seductive…”

Adds Ellerbee: “TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they’re not doing anything else!”

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children’s lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

“Dateline NBC” Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau (“Doonesbury”) handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: “I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on ‘current events.’ The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who’d hanged herself with a belt! They’d all watched the worst blood and gore ‘News at 11’ station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to “Time for Kids” and “My Weekly Reader.” People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids.”

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:”I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What’s even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run…and kids can break through their scared feelings.”

Adds Pauly:

“Kids,” she maintains, “know about bad news–they’re the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it…and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security.”

“I’m no expert on the nation’s children,” adds Jennings, ” but I’d have to say no, it wasn’t traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

“Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what’s going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge–pressuring educators to ‘do something.’ They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe,” a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90’s.

Ellerbee adds that a parent’s ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: “If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren’t listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don’t interrupt your child…let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they’re finished, they’ll start talking again, getting to a second level of honesty. Third, try to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it’s proper to say: ‘This is never going to happen to you…’ But you don’t say that to a 10-year-old.”

[netmaddy-blog]

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

New Post has been published on https://netmaddy.com/should-your-child-watch-tv-news-surprising-opinions-of-top-anchors/

Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors

More than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating. Foreign wars, natural disasters, terrorism, murders, incidents of child abuse, and medical epidemics flood our newscasts daily. Not to mention the grim wave of recent school shootings.

All of this intrudes on the innocent world of children. If, as psychologists say, kids are like sponges and absorb everything that goes on around them, how profoundly does watching TV news actually affect them? How careful do parents need to be in monitoring the flow of news into the home, and how can they find an approach that works?

To answer these questions, we turned to a panel of seasoned anchors, Peter Jennings, Maria Shriver, Linda Ellerbee, and Jane Pauley–each having faced the complexities of raising their own vulnerable children in a news-saturated world.

Picture this: 6:30 p.m. After an exhausting day at the office, Mom is busy making dinner. She parks her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in front of the TV.

“Play Nintendo until dinner’s ready,” she instructs the little ones, who, instead, start flipping channels.

Tom Brokaw on “NBC News Tonight,” announces that an Atlanta gunman has killed his wife, daughter and son, all three with a hammer, before going on a shooting rampage that leaves nine dead.

On “World News Tonight,” Peter Jennings reports that a jumbo jetliner with more than 300 passengers crashed in a spinning metal fireball at a Hong Kong airport.

On CNN, there’s a report about the earthquake in Turkey, with 2,000 people killed.

On the Discovery channel, there’s a timely special on hurricanes and the terror they create in children. Hurricane Dennis has already struck, Floyd is coming.

Finally, they see a local news report about a roller coaster accident at a New Jersey amusement park that kills a mother and her eight-year-old daughter.

Nintendo was never this riveting.

“Dinner’s ready!” shouts Mom, unaware that her children may be terrified by this menacing potpourri of TV news.

What’s wrong with this picture?

“There’s a LOT wrong with it, but it’s not that easily fixable,” notes Linda Ellerbee, the creator and host of “Nick News,” the award-winning news program geared for kids ages 8-13, airing on Nickelodeon.

“Watching blood and gore on TV is NOT good for kids and it doesn’t do much to enhance the lives of adults either,” says the anchor, who strives to inform children about world events without terrorizing them. “We’re into stretching kids’ brains and there’s nothing we wouldn’t cover,” including recent programs on euthanasia, the Kosovo crisis, prayer in schools, book- banning, the death penalty, and Sudan slaves.

But Ellerbee emphasizes the necessity of parental supervision, shielding children from unfounded fears. “During the Oklahoma City bombing, there were terrible images of children being hurt and killed,” Ellerbee recalls. “Kids wanted to know if they were safe in their beds. In studies conducted by Nickelodeon, we found out that kids find the news the most frightening thing on TV.

“Whether it’s the Gulf War, the Clinton scandal, a downed jetliner, or what happened in Littleton, you have to reassure your children, over and over again, that they’re going to be OK–that the reason this story is news is that IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. News is the exception…nobody goes on the air happily and reports how many planes landed safely!

“My job is to put the information into an age-appropriate context and lower anxieties. Then it’s really up to the parents to monitor what their kids watch and discuss it with them”

Yet a new study of the role of media in the lives of children conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that 95% of the nation’s children ages 8-18 are watching TV without their parents present.

How does Ellerbee view the typical scenario of the harried mother above?

“Mom’s taking a beating here. Where’s Dad?” Ellerbee asks.Perhaps at work, or living separately from Mom, or absent altogether.

“Right. Most Moms and Dads are working as hard as they can because we live in a society where one income just doesn’t cut it anymore,”

NBC News correspondent Maria Shriver, the mother of four–Katherine, 13, Christina, 12, Patrick, 10, and Christopher, 6–agrees with Ellerbee: “But Moms aren’t using the TV as a babysitter because they’re out getting manicures!” says the 48-year-old anchor.

“Those mothers are struggling to make ends meet and they do it because they need help. I don’t think kids would be watching [as much TV] if their parents were home organizing a touch football game.

“When I need the TV as a babysitter,” says Shriver, who leaves detailed TV- viewing instructions behind when traveling, “I put on a safe video. I don’t mind that my kids have watched “Pretty Woman” or “My Best Friend’s Wedding” 3,000 times. I’d be more fearful if they watched an hour of local news.That would scare them. They might feel: ‘Oh, my God, is somebody going to come in and shoot me in my bedroom?'”

In a move to supervise her own children more closely since her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became Governor, Shriver scaled back her workload as Contributing Anchor to Dateline NBC and set up her office at home: “You can never be vigilant enough with your kids,” she says, “because watching violence on TV clearly has a huge impact on children–whether it’s TV news, movies, or cartoons.”

This view is shared by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, which states: “”TV is a powerful influence in developing value systems and shaping behavior…studies find that children may become immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; and resort to anti-social and aggressive behavior, imitating the violence they observe.”

Although there are no rules about watching TV in 49% of the nation’s households, TV-watching at the Schwarzenegger home is almost totally verboten:

“We have a blanket rule that my kids do not watch any TV at all during the week,” she notes, “and having a TV in their bedrooms has never been an option. I have enough trouble getting them to do their homework!” she states with a laugh. “Plus the half hour of reading they have to do every night.

According to the Kaiser survey, Shriver’s household is a glaring exception to the rule. “Many kids have their own TV’s, VCR’s and video games in their bedroom,” the study notes. Moreover, children ages 8-18 actually spend an average of three hours and 16 minutes watching TV daily; only 44 minutes reading; 31 minutes using the computer; 27 minutes playing video games; and a mere 13 minutes using the Internet.

“My kids,” Shriver explains, “get home at 4 p.m., have a 20-minute break, then go right into homework or after-school sports. Then, I’m a big believer in having family dinner time. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting at the dinner table and listening to my parents, four brothers, and my grandmother, Rose. We didn’t watch the news.

“After dinner nowadays, we play a game, then my kids are in bed, reading their books. There’s no time in that day for any TV, except on weekends, when they’re allowed to watch a Disney video, Sesame Street, Barney, The Brady Bunch, or Pokemon.”

Beyond safe entertainment, Shriver has eliminated entirely the option of her children watching news events unfolding live on TV: “My kids,” she notes, “do not watch any TV news, other than Nick News,” instead providing her children with Time for Kids, [Teen Newsweek is also available], Highlights, and newspaper clippings discussed over dinner.

“No subject should be off-limits,” Shriver concludes, “but you must filter the news to your kids.”

ABC’s Peter Jennings, who reigns over “World News Tonight,” the nation’s most-watched evening newscast, emphatically disagrees with a censored approach to news-watching: “I have two kids–Elizabeth is now 24 and Christopher is 21– and they were allowed to watch as much TV news and information anytime they wanted,” says the anchor. A firm believer in kids understanding the world around them, he adapted his bestselling book, The Century, for children ages 10 and older in The Century for Young People.

No downside to kids watching news? “I don’t know of any downside and I’ve thought about it many times. I used to worry about my kids’ exposure to violence and overt sex in the movies. Like most parents, I found that although they were exposed to violence sooner than I would have liked, I don’t feel they’ve been affected by it. The jury’s still out on the sex.

“I have exposed my kids to the violence of the world–to the bestiality of man–from the very beginning, at age 6 or 7. I didn’t try to hide it. I never worried about putting a curtain between them and reality, because I never felt my children would be damaged by being exposed to violence IF they understood the context in which it occurred. I would talk to my kids about the vulnerability of children in wartime–the fact that they are innocent pawns– and about what we could do as a family to make the world a more peaceful place.

Jennings firmly believes that coddling children is a mistake: “I’ve never talked down to my children, or to children period. I always talk UP to them and my newscast is appropriate for children of any age.”

Yet the 65-year-old anchor often gets letters from irate parents: “They’ll say: ‘How dare you put that on at 6:30 when my children are watching?’ My answer is: ‘Madam, that’s not my problem. That’s YOUR problem. It’s absolutely up to the parent to monitor the flow of news into the home.”

Part of directing this flow is turning it off altogether at meal-time, says Jennings, who believes family dinners are sacrosanct. He is appalled that the TV is turned on during meals in 58% of the nation’s households, this according to the Kaiser study.

“Watching TV during dinner is unforgivable,” he exclaims, explaining that he always insisted that his family wait until he arrived home from anchoring the news. “You’re darn right they waited…even when my kids were tiny, they never ate until 7:30 or 8 pm. Then we would sit with no music, no TV. Why waste such a golden opportunity? Watching TV at mealtime robs the family of the essence of the dinner, which is communion and exchange of ideas. I mean, God, if the dinner table is anything, it’s a place to learn manners and appreciation for two of the greatest things in life–food and drink.”

Jennings is likewise unequivocal in his view of junk TV and believes parking kids at the tube creates dull minds: “I think using TV as a babysitter is a terrible idea because the damn television is very narcotic, drug-like. Mindless TV makes for passive human beings–and it’s a distraction from homework!

“My two children were allowed to watch only a half an hour of entertainment TV per night–and they never had TV’s in their bedrooms.It’s a conscious choice I made as a parent not to tempt them…too seductive…”

Adds Ellerbee: “TV is seductive and is meant to be. The hard, clear fact is that when kids are watching TV, they’re not doing anything else!”

Indeed, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time and the Office of Research Education Consumer Guide, TV plays a bigger role in children’s lives now than ever before. Kids watch TV an average of14 to 22 hours per week, which accounts for at least 25 percent of their free time.

“Dateline NBC” Anchor Jane Pauley, intensely private, declined an interview to discuss how she and her husband, cartoonist Garry Trudeau (“Doonesbury”) handle TV-watching with their three teens, two of whom are fraternal twins. But in a written response, she agreed that kids need to be better protected from the onslaught of violence: “I was a visitor at a public elementary school not long ago, and was invited to peek in on a fourth-grade class on ‘current events.’ The assignment had been to watch the news and write about one of the stories. Two kids picked the fatal attack on a child by a pit bull and the other wrote about a child who’d hanged herself with a belt! They’d all watched the worst blood and gore ‘News at 11’ station in town. The teacher gave no hint that she was as appalled as I was. My response was to help the school get subscriptions to “Time for Kids” and “My Weekly Reader.” People need to be better news consumers. And tabloid TV is very unhealthy for kids.”

On this point, Ellerbee readily agrees:”I really do believe the first amendment STOPS at your front door. You are the boss at home and parents have every right to monitor what their kids watch. What’s even better is watching with them and initiating conversations about what they see.If your child is watching something terribly violent, sit down and DEFUSE it. Talking makes the ghosts run…and kids can break through their scared feelings.”

Adds Pauly:

“Kids,” she maintains, “know about bad news–they’re the ones trying to spare us the bad news sometimes. But kids should be able to see that their parents are both human enough to be deeply affected by a tragedy like Columbine, but also sturdy enough to get through it…and on with life. That is the underpinning of their security.”

“I’m no expert on the nation’s children,” adds Jennings, ” but I’d have to say no, it wasn’t traumatic. Troubling, shocking, even devastating to some, confusing to others, but traumatizing in that great sense, no.

“Would I explain to my kids that there are young, upset, angry, depressed kids in the world? Yes. I hear the most horrendous stories about what’s going on in high schools from my kids. And because of the shootings, parents are now on edge–pressuring educators to ‘do something.’ They have to be reminded that the vast majority of all schools in America are overwhelmingly safe,” a fact borne out by The National School Safety Center, which reports that in l998 there were just 25 violent deaths in schools compared to an average of 50 in the early 90’s.

Ellerbee adds that a parent’s ability to listen is more important than lobbying school principals for more metal detectors and armed guards: “If there was ever a case where grown-ups weren’t listening to kids, it was Littleton. First, don’t interrupt your child…let them get the whole thought out. Next, if you sit silently for a couple of seconds after they’re finished, they’ll start talking again, getting to a second level of honesty. Third, try to be honest with your kid. To very small children, it’s proper to say: ‘This is never going to happen to you…’ But you don’t say that to a 10-year-old.”

Moreover, Ellerbee believes that media literacy begins the day parents stop pretending that if you ignore TV, it will go away. “Let your kid know from the very beginning that he or she is SMARTER than TV: ‘I am in control of this box, it is not in control of me. I will use this box as a useful, powerful TOOL, but will not be used by it.’ Kids know the difference.

“Watching TV,” Ellerbee maintains, “can makes kids more civilized. I grew up in the south of Texas in a family of bigoted people. Watching TV made me question my own family’s beliefs in the natural inferiority of people of color. For me, TV was a real window that broadened my world.”

Ironically, for Shriver, watching TV news is incredibly painful when the broadcast is about you. Being a Kennedy, Shriver has lived a lifetime in the glare of rumors and televised speculation about her own family. Presenting the news to her children has therefore included explaining the tragedies and controversies the Kennedys have endured. She was just eight years old when her uncle, President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated: “I grew up in a very big shadow…and I couldn’t avoid it,” she admits. “It wasn’t a choker, but it was a big responsibility that I don’t want my own children to feel.” Yet doesn’t her 15- year marriage to megastar Schwarzenegger add yet another layer of public curiosity close to home? “My kids are not watching Entertainment Tonight–no, no, never! And I don’t bring them to movie openings or Planet Hollywood. I think it’s fine for them to be proud of their father, but not show off about him.”

How does she emotionally handle news when her family’s in it? “That’s a line I’ve been walking since my own childhood, and it’s certainly effected the kind of reporter I’ve become. It’s made me less aggressive. I’m not [in the news business] to glorify myself at someone else’s expense, but rather to report a story without destroying someone in the process. A producer might say: ‘Call this person who’s in a disastrous situation and book them right way.’ And I’m like: ‘Ahhhh. I can’t even bring myself to do it,’ because I’ve been on the other side and know the family is in such pain.”

A few years ago, of course, the Kennedys experienced profound pain, yet again, when Shriver’s beloved cousin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was killed in a plane crash, with his wife, Carolyn, and sister-in-law, Lauren Bessette. A blizzard of news coverage ensued, unremitting for weeks. “I didn’t watch any of it…I was busy, ” Shriver says quietly. “And my children didn’t watch any of it either.”

Shriver was, however, somewhat prepared to discuss the tragedy with her children. She is the author of the best-selling “What’s Heaven?” [Golden Books], a book geared for children ages 4-8, which explains death and the loss of a loved one. “My children knew John well because he spent Christmases with us. I explained what happened to John as the news unfolded…walked them through it as best I could. I reminded them that Mommy wrote the book and said: ‘We’re not going to see John anymore. He has gone to God…to heaven…and we have to pray for him and for his sister [Caroline] and her children.”

Like Shriver, Jennings is personally uncomfortable in the role of covering private tragedies in a public forum: “In my shop, I’m regarded as one of those people who drags their feet a lot at the notion of covering those things,” he explains. “During the O.J. Simpson trial, I decided not to go crazy in our coverage–and we took quite a smack and dropped from first to second in the ratings. TV is a business, so when a real corker of a story like Princess Diana’s death comes along, we cover it. I think we’re afraid not to do it. We’re guilty of overkill, and with Diana, we ended up celebrating something that was largely ephemeral, making Diana more than she was. But audiences leap up!

“I was totally opposed to covering John F. Kennedy, Jr.’s funeral, because I saw no need to do it. He wasn’t a public figure, though others would say I was wrong. On-air, I said: ‘I don’t think the young Mr. Kennedy would approve of all this excess…’ But we did three hours on the funeral and it turned out to be a wonderful long history lesson about American politics and the Kennedy dynasty’s place in our national life.

“Sometimes,” Jennings muses, “TV is like a chapel in which we, as a nation, can gather to have a communal experience of loss.We did it with the Challenger, more recently with JFK Jr.’s death and we will do it shortly, I suspect, though I hope not, with Ronald Reagan. It’s not much different than what people did when they went West in covered wagons in the last century. When tragedy struck, they gathered the wagons around, lit the fire, and talked about their losses of the day. And then went on. Television can be very comforting.”

In closing, Ellerbee contends that you can’t blame TV news producers for the human appetite for sensational news coverage that often drags on for days at a time:

“As a reporter,” she muses, “I have never been to a war, traffic accident, or murder site that didn’t draw a crowd. There is a little trash in all of us. But the same people who stop to gawk at a traffic accident, may also climb down a well to save a child’s life, or cry at a sunset, or grin and tap their feet when the parade goes by.

“We are NOT just one thing. Kids can understand these grays…just as there’s more than one answer to a question, there is certainly more than one part to you!